#Any of this

[revenantghost]

MR. THE STAMPEDE, WHAT DID THIS EBAY SELLER DO TO YOU???

Also shout-out to this GRATUITOUS BUTT SHOT

[radiosummons]

My boss was gearing everyone in the office up for an early morning discussion about our monthly sales goals and she specifically wanted to discuss preparation for celebrating a particular upcoming holiday.

And without missing a beat I went: IDES OF MARCH!!! HELL YEAH!!!

Guys ... guys, she was talking about St. Patrick's Day. And now everyone in the office thinks I have personal beef with the historical/literary figure, Julius Caesar.

Tumblr has ruined me.

[estrellami-1]

Okay so I would NOT do it justice at all but I’d love to see an AU where D&D type creatures actually exist, but it’s very hush-hush.

Here’s the deal, right? All myth comes from some form of truth. The truth, in this case, is that these creatures do, in fact, exist.

Elves, dwarves, all the humanoid-looking ones, are able to interact with the humans without much happening. They might come across as a bit odd, a bit off, but that’s Greg. He’s just Like That.

Dragons and beasts of that sort are harder to explain. The good news is they don’t like humans much, prefer to stay away as much as possible, and the humans haven’t discovered nearly as much of the earth as they’d like to think they have. The ones who encounter the dragons (or other such creatures)? If they make it out alive, they’re sentenced to an asylum. And that’s a mercy.

So they exist. Humans know, at one point, but truth becomes skewed by word-of-mouth tales, which become skewed even more, which become bedtime stories for children, which become stories in books and movies, which become this game. This Dungeons and Dragons game.

Steve hadn’t heard of it before the kids, before Eddie. He was more focused on finishing high school, on having a life, on whatever the fresh hell the Upside Down and the ensuing shit is.

So he hears about this game, and he’s mildly interested, but it doesn’t sound like the kind of game he’d like, so he mostly ignores it.

That is, until he sits in one day on the end of a session, because he’d gotten there early and it was too hot to wait out in the car.

He has to bite his tongue, hide his shaking shoulders, his red face. He knows what Eddie’s trying to do, knows he’s doing his best, but immortal above, Eds, that’s not what a dwarf sounds like.

And, of course, everyone is confused. Judgmental, even. How the hell would Steve know what a dwarf would sound like if he’s never played the game, never gotten into the mythology of it, and anyways it’s not like there’s any dwarves we could actually ask.

Steve refuses at first, avoids the questions, then sits everyone down.

“This does not leave this room.” He looks seriously at everyone, lets every one of his years—well above whatever number they think it is—show in his eyes. “I know what a dwarf sounds like. I know what an elf sounds like. Hell, I even know what a dragon sounds like.” Another look at everyone, sees their eyes on him, sees understanding beginning to dawn in Eddie’s. “I am not human.”

[alovesreading]

i’m really tipsy rn and i was just thinking about how there’s only been very little that has brought me happiness in the past few years of my life and i just wanted to thank you all endlessly for being part of one of those things.

thank you for reading and for being lovely and so welcoming, thank you for your support and the love you give the silly writing i put out. thank you for your messages and your asks, for interacting and making me feel like i have friends here too (i suck at making friends irl and online so even if we have interacted once, you’re my mate idc). i wanna pathetically cry about this all lmfao. typical me fashion, honestly. but yeah, yous are all so fucking awesome and cool and i really just wanted to thank you. i wish i could hug you.

anyway, this is so silly lolllll i hope you’re having an amazing weekend, sending you lots of love and hugs and kisses 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

[crispysnake]

keyleth disguising herself as what she would kind of look like if she wasn't the tempest kind of makes me want to drive into the ocean and sink to the bottom

[therighthandofvengeance]

Londo: I love Beyoncé!

G'Kar: as the Earthers say, “whatever floats your boat”, I suppose.

Londo: no, that’s buoyancy.

G'Kar:…

[xovera-toz]

I'm looking through old drabbles* and. There's one where Wirt, Sara & some highschool kids try to summon a ghost with a copy of The Hobbit (hardcover, mind you), and some snippets of, quote, "Nature Poetry Riddled With Sorrow".

Noteworthy mention: These drabbles are all hand-written inside a journal held together by faith. And with handwriting that heavily implies most of this was written past midnight because a doctor could be jealous.

[kennysaysthings]

Here’s a conversation I do not remember having last night with a friend of mine

[mayhemchicken-artblog]

in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off

EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[amygdalae]

we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!

[omegasmileyface]

realizing that sticking to the "do it bad" "do it scared" mentality implies theres also a "do it bored"

[bronzetomatoes]

Why dont we all look at Andy

[epicsauce]

my collection of "weird social practices that are too funny to be considered rude"

[pocketss]

mmm soob

[just-spacetrash]

the 'what if you played it a little risky' post literally Changed my life but i cant fujkign find it in my blog because its. a tiktok screenshot