#Anyway imagine being such a freak that you make the in-universe god of wizards kick you out. Good job man

[hrokkall]

TEAR ME APART!!! TEAR ME APART SO I FEEL WHOLE!!!!!

[inkandpen22]

Somewhere (3/?)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Female!Reader  

Warnings: None

Part Summary: After the dramatics at the disco, Y/N is left gloomy. Then, she receives a miraculous visit with a gift.

Masterlist

Reader 

Not soon after Sirius and his friends got kicked out, we left. I pleaded to stay, considering it’s still my birthday. Brady, Jay, and the rest of the boys were in a bad mood, they still are. We all came back to the house and they gathered around the kitchen table discussing the evening. I excused myself upstairs, tired, and gloomy from the whole experience. I’ve never dealt with the conflict between us and the wizards like my brother. He and Jay deal with it daily in politics, especially lately with the tensions growing. 

As I remove my makeup, I see Brady appear in the doorway of the bathroom out of my peripheral vision. He knocks on the frame, “can I come in?” 

“I suppose,” I mumble while I remove my makeup from the evening. He moves to sit on the edge of my counter. “Is everyone alright?” I ask, genuinely worried. He hums, nodding his head slowly. 

“You know, I didn’t want to ruin your evening and I’m sorry if that’s what I did,” Brady apologizes. “And I’m saying this now so that you understand. I just… I just couldn’t stand seeing that wizard-freak near you! They’re not good people, Y/N. They can’t even keep their own sort in line, despite having all the magic in the world! Now, they wish to live amongst us and spread their problems to us!” 

Despite Brady’s educated opinion, I can’t imagine Sirius doing any of that. He didn’t appear threatening or anything else Brady can describe his kind as being. He looked like any other boy, who just happens to be a wizard. He just so happens to be more remarkable than anyone I’ve ever met. 

Brady hops down from the counter and plants a kiss on my temple. “Good night, you should get some rest.” 

“How long will everyone be here?” I question, knowing how loud they can get. 

“Lauren is staying over,” he informs me casually. Lauren is over here half the time anyway. “Everyone else should be heading out soon.” 

That really means they’ll still be here when I go down for breakfast. They’ll all be crashing in the living room. I suppose that’s a benefit of not having parents and being the legal guardian, no rules.

“Good night,” Brady nods, turning to leave my room. 

“Night,” I mumble absentmindedly. 

I hear my door click behind Brady and I relax, no longer being under his watchful eye. Looking into my eyes in the mirror, I find myself wondering where Sirius is at this moment. What is doing right now? Will I ever see him again? I can’t begin to imagine how riveting it must be to be a wizard. I mean, the limits are nonexistent!  All the world is at his feet, all he has to do is reach out and touch it. Maybe I am a little crazy to be so interested in it. I just don’t understand how a world that is so remarkable could possibly be as dangerous as the others claim. I should be content with what I have and what I am, but I’m certain I’m destined for more. The human way of things is so boring and lacks luster. Wizards and witches, they can do anything, be anything! What I would give for one day, just one day experiencing their world. I would ask them a million questions and learn as much as I could. They look like us, speak like us, other than magic, what makes us different? 

Deep inside my own thoughts, I prepare for bed, changing into shorts and an old concert t-shirt. I hope I dream of Sirius and the wizarding world tonight, it’s all I’ve been thinking about for hours. I hear my floor creak as I shut my closet door and I’m guessing it’s Brady checking on me again. It could also be Lauren peeking in to say ‘good night.’ Suddenly, I feel a warm hand glide over my shoulder and down my arm. Hot breath brushes against my neck. I jump, spinning around swiftly in a panic. My sight lands on jet black eyes, Sirius. 

I gleam, “Siri-” 

He covers my mouth, holding a finger over his lips as he listens for any movement downstairs. When there’s no sign of anyone hearing me, he releases me with a sigh of relief. 

“What are you doing here?” I whisper, practically bursting. “How did you find me?” 

“I used a tracking spell,” he explains simply, leaving me in awe. 

“How did you get in?” I ask next. 

“Apparated,” he shrugs, as though I know exactly what that is. 

Taking my hand, he guides me over to sit on the bed. “So, you’re happy to see me?” 

Look at him as if he has three heads. Why wouldn’t I be excited? He’s here, that’s all I wanted! “Of course!” I gush, giving his hands a comforting squeeze. 

“I wasn’t sure after what happened if… if you hated me now,” he stammers, a gloomy expression plaguing his features. He glancing away from my eyes at the floor, clearly, a thought troubling him. 

Slowly, I reach up and caress his cheek. Subtly, he leans into my touch as his eyes fall shut. He’s so beautiful, the sight of him nearly makes my eyes well with tears. In my chest, a strong urge to protect and comfort him swallows me up. Leaning forward, I rest my forehead against his shoulder. Sirius’s hand rests against my knee, his thumb rubbing across my skin softly. 

“I saw you and everything else became irrelevant somehow,” I describe quietly, remembering the moment as if I were experiencing it now. 

His touch makes me feel so safe and warm. I can’t help but yearn for us to be closer if that’s even possible. I’ve never felt this way for anyone. I can’t imagine a life without him now. 

“I knew the moment my eyes landed on you that we were meant to meet tonight,” Sirius mutters. His hand tucks under my chin, leading me to look him in the eye. His gazes pour into me, reaching every depth of my soul. “You are my world now, Y/N,” he confesses, making my heart stop. 

A breathless laugh escapes me, I can’t believe it. Everything is too good to be true. “And you’re mine. From now on, I’m yours, always.” 

“Forever,” he nods, taking my hands in his longing. “Y/N, I wish to never be parted from you.” 

“But, my brother, your friends-” 

“None of them matter,” he claims, pretending to wave them away. “All that matters is you and me.” 

“If only there were a way we could get out of here, run away, even for a little while!” I wish, wanting nothing more than there to be just us. There would be no outside forces trying to keep us apart. 

“Let’s do it!” Sirius declares as enthused than me, if not more. He leaps up from the bed beside me. Taking my hands, he brings me along with him. “We can go anywhere! We can see the world!” 

I giggle, he sounds like a child. These sorts of things don’t just happen, especially for an ordinary human like me. 

“There’s a whole world out there, Y/N! It’s just waiting for us!” He illustrates the most incredible visions for me with a bright smile. 

“It’s a lovely dream,” I express, not fully convinced we could do it. There are so many factors we have to consider. “But it’s impossible…” 

He narrows his eyes with a mischievous smirk, “you forget a very important point.” 

I snicker, “And what is that?” 

“You’re talking to a wizard,” he reminds ever so confidently. His hand gestures up to my bedroom ceiling with a subtle wave of the wrist. “Look,” he instructs, flicking his attention to my ceiling. 

When I peer up toward my ceiling, I’m met with a clear starry sky. My jaw drops, how is this possible? It’s as though there’s no ceiling at all! 

Sirius leans over my shoulder, “it’s an enchantment. It’ll appear every night, so when you go to sleep you’ll be sleeping under the stars.” Amazed, I can’t pry my eyes away from it. 

“Let me give you anything you desire, everything and anything,” Sirius whispers in my ear, wrapping his arms around me as I feel his chest against my back. I rest my head back against his chest, admiring the stars. “I can take you far from here, far beyond anywhere you could ever imagine, to the heavens! Everything you would ever wish for I could give to you. Every day will be filled with extraordinary things and each day will better than the last!” 

I turn in his arms, resting my arms around his neck. “I want to see the universe with you, Sirius! Spend every minute from now on in your arms.” 

The edge of his lips rises to a smirk as his hand cups my face. His eyes flicker between my eyes and my lips. He leans down and I reach up to kiss him. Then, there’s a sudden knock at my door before we have the chance.  Sirius and I jump apart, staring at the door anxiously

“Y/N?” I hear Lauren in the hallway. “Are you awake?” 

I look to Sirius worriedly, “you have to go!” 

He takes my hands in his, “but when will I see you again?!” 

I press my lips together. I hardly have any alone time. Brady will be suspicious if I disappear for a while. “Brady and the others are spending the day at the park tomorrow. Come by here around one o’clock!” 

“Okay,” he grins, caressing my cheek softly as he towers over me. “I’ll be counting down the hours. 

“And appear or whatever you call it like you did tonight!” I instruct urgently. “In case they don’t leave on time!” 

He snickers at me, “yes, alright. I will apparate.” There’s a pause for a moment and his face falls. “I don’t want to leave you…” 

“I don’t want you to leave,” I confess sorrowfully. 

“Y/N?” Lauren knocks again. 

“But you have to!” I urge Sirius along swiftly. 

“Yes right,” he peers at the door, his eyes wide with anxiety.

Meeting my gaze, he starts backing away from me. Sirius holds onto my hands for as long as possible until I’m too far out of reach. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he assures me. Then, in a blink, he whips away into thin air. Flashes of colors weaving through air, I’ve never seen anything like it. 

The door to my bedroom creaks open slowly and I whip my head in its direction. Lauren appears in the doorway, the lights from the hall pour into my otherwise dark room. My attention briefly flickers up to my ceiling, the stars lingering above us. Oh dear, I pray to God she doesn’t notice. Lauren leans against the doorframe, wrapping herself with her sweater, having changed into her pajamas. 

“I just wanted to say goodnight and a happy birthday one last time,” she explains with a soft smile. 

“Oh uh… thank you!” I stammer nervously. 

“I know your brother can be… well, a hard-ass sometimes,” she laughs at Brady’s expense. “But he means well. He absolutely adores you, I hope you know that.” 

I nod, hoping I don’t appear frantic. “I do! Yes, I know!” 

She hums, nodding her head slowly. Visibly, she doesn’t appear suspicious and I start to think I’ll get away with this without a problem. “Are you joining us tomorrow at the park?” 

I shake my head, “No uh, no I don’t so.” I struggle to come up with an excuse, then one pops into my head. “I have to return the dress from tonight. Yeah, Brady won’t let me keep it so…” 

She sighs in understanding, pushing off the doorframe, “oh well, alright. I’ll see you at breakfast. Goodnight, sleep well,” she waves before reaching for the door handle. 

“Goodnight!” I rush outright as the door clicks. 

Once I’m in the safe zone, I fall back onto my bed with a sigh of relief. My heart pounds in my chest as though I just ran a mile. I doubt I’ll get much sleep tonight. Then again, if I dream I may dream of Sirius and the hours will go by faster. I stare up at the starry sky Sirius conjured for me. My heart gleams at the sight. Then, I notice it, the Sirius star placed ever so perfectly right above my bed. I giggle lightly, he certainly did that on purpose. It’s utterly perfect, just like Sirius himself. The two best birthday presents in my life.

____________________________

Masterlist

[amethyst-noir]

After Endgame, Stephen is off to go willingly embrace the sweet release of death after the traumatising experience he’s had in the two damn movies he’s appeared in. Seriously, he’s only been in two movies and has gone through enough torture to fill an entire timeline.

The first one came in exactly 9 minutes before that.

This is a conspiracy to break me and my fragile nerves, right? Because I really don’t know what else it could be. Or are you trying to motivate me to write a 100.000k novel about just how broken and in need of saving one Doctor Stephen Strange really is? Because I’d love to do that, really, but I’m not built for long novels. Love to read them, can’t write them, unfortunately

Let’s go into the first message here, the other one deserves its own answer. (Probably tomorrow. Not today. Sorry.) I just thought that they fit so nicely, nestled together in my inbox, and if I have to look at that condensed pain and misery so can you.😎

So, let’s put on some Evanescence (although I listened to the Gladiator soundtrack while typing this up), to get into the right mood, and enjoy a wild mix-and-match ride between meta, headcanon and idon’tknowhwhatthisis (I totally understand if run away from it. It ran away from me, as well.):

Okay, first: Anon, you forgot about Thor: Ragnarok! Okay, Stephen wasn’t in it for long but the scenes he had were absolute gold. And no pain and misery in sight! Instead he was having fun with two gods! I swear, the moment I don’t find the scene with Thor falling down the stairs, and Loki emerging from the eternal portal, funny, is the day I give up on myself. The whole movie was a much-needed breath of fresh air, anyway. Just like Ant-Man and the Wasp after IW.But, yes, Doctor Strange and Infinity War are brutal on our beloved wizard doctor and I think I haven’t made secret of the fact that I headcanon him as halfway suicidal since the accident. (There was not enough material in DS for me to form an opinion on this pre-accident. But after? Puh, it was pure luck that he managed to find Kamar-taj before death.)And after finding magic and purpose (again)? Even more pain, misery, torture and death xInifinty with Dormammu. Yay. Torture designed to break the strongest man. He seemed to be relatively fine (for his standards) at the beginning of IW but after Ebony Maw, the crash, the future scrying and the fight against Thanos? Done. And then giving up the time stone, enduring whatever it is what he has to endure until Tony & Co reverse the snap? (Because I’m totally sure that Stephen manages to find some way to suffer even while not existing. It seems to be in his DNA or something.)It’s going to break him, badly, even more than he already is. And we won’t see much of it onscreen because all the screen time will go to the still existing heroes, except for the very end. But there will be hints and some superb acting from which we, the fandom, can take our cues and fill in the blanks.So, Stephen, after Endgame, is done, done, done. With everything. But especially life. I see him as someone who’s so low that he doesn’t even think about slinking of and slitting his wrists or something like that, because that’s not his mindset. But quietly disappearing even though he’s badly wounded but not thinking he’s worth the trouble? That he can take care of it himself? Absolutely. Searching and finding fights he knows he can’t win alone? Justifying his longing for death to himself with the fact that it is for the greater good and that there was no other choice?Yes. Stephen thinks it’s his destiny to go out in freaking suicide attack on something or that he’s meant to suffer through his last few hours alone in some dark corner.And I would love, love to write a whole long story about this concept, and maybe I will, one day, but I have to see Endgame for that. Because if I do that I’ll put in Tony to save the day - and Stephen - but to do that I have to first know how Tony survives and in what state he’s in. Because judging from the trailer it won’t be good. 😭Let’s have little thought experiment:Endgame is done, most of the occupants of the universe are back where they belong, and some of the heroes have, sadly, fallen. Tony Stark is not among them, but he’s in bad shape. Weak, hurt and fucking exhausted in every way imaginable. But on the plus side: Peter’s back! There was a long, drawn out hugging session. There was joy and tears. Peter babbles, while Tony is too exhausted to do much more than listen with half an ear while trying to stay conscious. But he notices that the name Stephen Strange falls a couple of times. He looks around, trying to find the man that is responsible for a good part of the whole mess and the reason didn’t die on Titan, as he should have. (Tony totally thinks that. You can’t change my mind.) His resentment towards Stephen is still there, even if it’s dulled by time and the first stirrings of understanding. But Stephen’s nowhere to be seen.Tony doesn’t like that. All of his people, dead or alive, are accounted for, except for the sorcerer. Helped up by Peter he makes the rounds, asking people about Stephen. Most of them don’t know who he’s speaking about, the rest shake their heads. Finally they manage to track down Wong, who just looks at them. “Gone,” he says and while Peter needs a moment to understand Tony knows immediately that Wong doesn’t mean death.“Where?” Tony’s so tired and everything hurts and every cell in his body screams at him to finally lay down his amour and rest but he can’t. Not yet. He doesn’t understand why but he just knows that the has to get to Stephen.Wong takes one look at him and shakes his head but he conjures up a portal to the Sanctum. “Not the kid,” he warns and despite Peter’s protests Tony persuades him to stay behind and help the rest of the team in the clean-up efforts. He doesn’t want any witnesses between this meeting anyway. Tony’s so tired that he goes through the portal without thinking about the magic behind it.He’s determined to clear the air, to scream at Stephen and maybe hit him or something. He’s not clear on that yet. But the need to know WHY burns in him. Why was he important enough to sacrifice everything for? He would have died in space, if rescue hadn’t come in the last second, and he spent most of the time recuperating and barely did anything. (Not true, but that’s how Tony sees himself. As doing nothing more than anyone else could have done.)Instead of the snarky wizard he finds a broken, sobbing wreck wedged between a couch and a bookshelf. He finds a man so destroyed by his choices that his greatest wish is to just stop existing, to be put out of his misery. 14+ million possibilities, one more horrible than the other, are swirling around in Stephen’s brain and he can’t handle it.He could hold the knowledge at bay while they were planning and fighting on Titan but the interim between becoming dust on Titan and coming back on earth has broken him completely. Without anything to do, without a body, without the constant pain to keep him grounded, he was forced to contemplate everything. His old life and his new, all of his choices in all of the timelines.Stephen came up hating himself even more than before and he has the millions of timelines where he fucked up to fuel his self-hate for the rest of his life.Tony takes one look at him and can guess at least a tiny part of what’s going on in Stephen’s mind. The desire to scream at him flees, it’s obvious that Stephen’s much better at beating up himself than Tony could ever be.It’s also obvious that he needs help. Tony manages a quiet “Stephen?” before his body finally gives out and the collapses just a few meters away. It breaks Stephen out of his endless circle of self-ramification. It takes him a moment before he realizes that what he sees is real and not a product of his broken mind. It takes him even longer to finally move and get over to Tony. By then his instincts as a doctor have kicked in and after some basic first-aid he gets Tony into hospital and to the treatment he needs.He stays on the sidelines until it’s clear that Tony’s going to survive. He whispers a quiet “sorry” in farewell and vanishes back to the Sanctum. His mind is a little bit clearer now but still clouded by self-hate. He tries meditation to push everything down but it only works to an extent.When he’s not busy taking insane risks (and trying to die) he spends his days in solitude and self-hate. It’s Tony who, after having halfway recovered, searches him out once again, still in search of an explanation and closure. He arrives at the Sanctum just in time to see a half-dead Stephen come in through a flickering and unstable looking portal. Instead of finding answers he helps Stephen up and takes care of him. The answers can wait until Stephen’s no longer shaking from exhaustion. While helping him Tony sees the bruises and the dark shadows under Stephen’s eyes and begins to understand.There is a talk, later, when Stephen’s more coherent and awake. There are even more talks in the following days and weeks. Somehow, they never devolve into screaming but they get heated sometimes. The manage to form some kind of friendship, based on mutual understanding and the concept of self-sacrifice. Tony steps down from being Iron Man after Thanos since his body just can’t do it anymore but Stephen’s still an idiot with a death wish. Tony’s trying to work on that but it’s a one step forward two steps back kind of situation.But Stephen’s still alive so Tony counts his blessings and if he still always has one Iron Man armor, untested in battle, with him? It’s just in case. One never knows when he needs one to protect the ones he loves.By the time the villain of Doctor Strange 2 (whoever it may be) comes along, Stephen’s recovered enough and is in some weird kind of half friend- half relationship with Tony Stark that gives him enough strength and hope for the future to not seek death but life.When he comes back home afterwards Tony’s waiting for him and it goes on from there.