#Asher Pitchfork Kids

[the-pitchfork-kids]

merry christmas!!

I think I know what whoever said "Christmas after November meant"- They were asking if you celebrated Christmas during the month of November, right after Halloween, instead of waiting on december.

In which, why wouldn't you?!? can I see you guys in holiday spirit?

Thank you for the answer anon, I didn't hear about this till now.

Everyone: "ROCKING AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE..."

Meanwhile...

Sydne: "OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" Zayne: "Syd we know it's too early but calm down" Toby: "IT'S TOO EARLY!!!" Toms: "Why are they so impatient..."

Though where we live now they don't really have Christmas- or any holidays actually. But we still celebrate, to remind us of home..." -Sydne

[jamforestapp]

| ITS COMPTON IN THE HOUSE |

Kendrick Lamar;

                            arguably Comptons finest son (what up Jayceon). I have been a fan since I heard the title track from his sophomore album, Good Kid m.A.A.d city.

I could lie and say I knew him from the jump, wax lyrical about his mixtapes and his first album, Section 8.0, but in truth I came to all that after listening to Good Kid m.A.A.d city, it was everywhere in 2012, it was named the best album of 2012 by BBC, Complex, New York and Pitchfork

 It reminded me of illMatic, in so far as I thought it was an instant classic, and it took you right into the belly of the beast of the hood, the Compton streets where Lamar was raised.

Punctuated with dialogue laden samples, “Where yo Grama stay at?” “These kids ready to eat, bring back them food stamps” it was a tour de force, a combination of intelligent reflection of life of the disenfranchised and switched up with the chilled joints like “The Recipe” & “Bitch Don’t Kill my Vibe”, and the sultry Drake collaboration, “Poetic Justice” as soon as the subject matter got too heavy. An all-rounder if ever I heard it.

When I found the wealth of material that preceded this release, it was like finding a can of Coke in the fridge after a night out. Joyous stuff indeed.

His next release, to pimp a Butterfly was an anomaly, artistic progression at its finest.

Political consciousness, the complicated factors of black identity (not that I’d know) teased out over jazz (what?) in a multi layered musical continuity.

It is not immediately enjoyable, nor is it a ‘grower’ but it is important. Kendrick expands his sound and examines themes of straddling the thug life with the artistic life, which is seriously minimising it, that seems far more genuine (dare I say it) than Pac could ever do it. [1]

It engages the listener and has them scratching their heads.

Which is what art is all about. And haters of it will be silenced as it was just announced that to Pimp a Butterfly will be admitted to the Harvard ‘these are the breaks’ hip hop archive, joining Nas Illmatic, (see I called it) Lauryn Hills the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill and ATCQ The Low End Theory. I actually think it might be a little premature considering there is only two hundred spots in total. But shur look.. this is it.

 I could be here all day but this is all well traversed territory. What I want to talk about is his appearances.

The first that hit me hard was F**kin Problems with New York’s new wave g.o.a.t.s ASAP Rocky. Mmm mm, Daddy like.

Loathe as I am to be bumpin’ some superficial stuff like that I cannot deny its catchy AF, its pop rap and it is undeniably good.

It was until last year I reconsidered how often he contributed verses and a lot of it was non hip hop music, Sia, Taylor Swift Maroon Five to name but a few.

Parlaying his presence to a wider consciousness without diluting his integrity. It is a far cry from pops rent a rapper scene (reference any verse that Tyga, vomit face emoji, has appeared on) that we have been thus far subjected to.

The following are some of his lesser known collaborations that I think are worth a lend of your ear.

Sidewalks: The Weeknd

In an album laden with contributors, indicative of The Weeknds newly liberated flow that still contains some of his old secretive egotistical style, albeit somewhat watered down.

Kendrick combines a simple yet effective hook Say/Say/Say with a speedy flow that comes full circle referencing the cosmos to weave in Starboy. You mad clever son!

God is Fair, Sexy Nasty: Mac Miller

This is actually a deadly album, well worth checking out in its entirety. I am not a huge fan of Mac Miller, he is a little too poppy for me and I find his verses bland (although I said the same about Asher Roth and look how he turned that all around). This album is tightly produced with a psychedelic vibe, hip hop meets Stone Roses not a million miles from A.S.A.P. Rockys second album or Frank Oceans for that matter so I am definitely feeling it AND some decent appearances by Ty Dolla Sign and my new fave Anderson .Paak. This is dreamy Kendrick at his best, it reminds me of Poetic Justice, big fan.

Collard Greens: Schoolboy Q

This beat goes off, no bother to Kendrick he picks up the pace, throwing a little Espanol to make it interesting upping the arrogance to fit into Schoolboy Q’s self centred/ drug centred narrative and somehow it does not seem disingenuous.

The New Cupid: BJ The Chicago Kid

Chi town stand up! I only found this whilst researching this article. Crumbling soul over some old school horns, a little harp and tender ass drums all carefully and delicately put together over the sounds of “Cupids too busy in the club” using Raphael Saadiqs classic Oh Girl. Lamar is used subtly throughout the song repeating hook just audible enough to be certain it is Kendrick. He riffs on modern love As I play out the Commodores/my faith destroyed/My heart don't work, I'm unemployed/The feeling is void/don't know what I need/Some pussy, some paper/some counseling/Maybe some Henny, some weed.

This song has many elements that make it great but Kendrick plays a big role.

 You’re welcome,,you all welcome! (KanYe voice)

Author : Fenagh O’Mahoney Instagram: @feengurrl_/

[the-pitchfork-kids]

song about *teh cast*

Help- ;-; there r so many chars and its rlly hard to keep track of them all qwq. can u make a song abt all the chars? ^^ liek maybe a parody or smth- with all their personalities and pronouns and stuff :D

Ty for reading tumblr ppl XD

HOLY SHIT.

I DID IT. OH I FINALLY DID YOUR ASK.

Have your songs pookie. You deserve them from how long I've forced you to wait. Toby's: (27786) I Won't by AJR Pitchfork Kids Parody - YouTube Sydne's: Lone Star by The Front Bottoms Pitchfork Kids Parocy (youtube.com) Kit's (27786) Stay Positive by Sushi Soucy Pitchfork Kids Parody - YouTube Asher's: (27786) MESS by PEGGY Pitchfork Kids Parody - YouTube Sangria's: (27786) Paranoid by Dream Pitchfork Kids Parody - YouTube Zayne's: (27786) Vampire by Olivia Rodrigo Pitchfork Kids Parody - YouTube Devereaux's: (27786) Joyride by Stellar Pitchfork Kids Parody - YouTube Rose's: (27786) Worlds Smalled Violin by AJR Pitchfork Kids Parody - YouTube Alex's: New Invention by IDKHOW Pitchfork Kids Parody (youtube.com) Group songs: (27786) Main Character by Will Wood Pitchfork Kids Parody - YouTube (27786) Christmas Kids by ROAR: Pitchfork Kids Parody - YouTube (27786) The Pitchfork Kids by AJR Pitchfork Kids Parody - YouTube

[the-pitchfork-kids]

DON'T YOU WORRY. I AIN'T CHEATING YOU OUT OF CONTENT!

Here's the incorrect quotes for the past 3 weeks I've missed. Again I am deeply sorry.

Note: I lost my screenshots of the quotes from the website so my bad y'all.

Quote 1

Asher: "I love being right! It's one of my favorite personality traits!"

Quote 2

Rose: "When I get delivery, I order 20 cheeseburgers and heat them up throughout the week so that I don't have to pay delivery fee multiple times"

Kit: "I hope you understand how food poisoning works."

Rose: "I hope food poisoning understands how I work. I never met a burger I couldn't eat"

Quote 3

Sangria: "Today, two families are becoming one!"

Asher: "Two families enter, one family leaves."

Rose: "That sounds so threatening!"

Devereaux: "The Wedding Games!"

Zayne: "May the bouquet toss be ever in your favor!"

Sydne: Beautiful...

Sangria: "FUCK ALL OF YOU!"

[the-pitchfork-kids]

SHIP ART SHIP ART SHIP ART

unless everyone broke up SHIP ART SHIP ART SHIP ART I WANNA SEE SOMEONE CUDDLE TO EACH OTHR

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECIEVE!

Sydne x Asher

Text: Ashnee

Toby x Kit x Toms

Text: Toitly

Zayne x Destiny

Text: Zaynity Theres this too:

Assuming you wanted all the relationships

[the-pitchfork-kids]

MEET THE

A group of rag-tag teenagers that have no fucking idea what they're doing- but what the hell. This blog goes along with a WIP book series that will probably be about 9 books long, give or take. This blog takes place during the gap between books 8 and 9, or whatever the last 2 books of the series will be Now for the info cards~

Name: Toby Dewey Mount Pronouns: He/Him Birthday: November 12th Status: Taken Significant Other: Toms Adjectives: Concerning

Name: Sydne Latte Thunder Pronouns: She/Her Birthday: September 27th Status: Taken Significant Other: Asher Adjectives: Pink

Name: Kit Ryu Thunder Pronouns: He/Him Birthday: June 25th Status: Taken Significant Other: Toms Adjectives: Stubborn

Name: Asher Pine Tree Pronouns: He/Him Birthday: October 12th Status: Taken Significant Other: Sydne Adjectives: Chaotic

Name: Isabella Suds Marigold Pronouns: She/Her Birthday: May 12th Status: Single Significant Other: In hell Adjectives: Sisterly

Name: Zayne Ani Blessings Pronouns: He/Him Birthday: December 7th Status: Signle Significant Other: Created hell Adjectives: Scary

Name: Devereaux Comic Thunder Pronouns: He/Him Birthday: July 19th Status: Single Significant Other: On mars Adjectives: Gremlin

Name: Rose McMurphy Tundra Pronouns: She/Her Birthday: October 14th Status: Single Significant Other: In Beauty & The Beast Adjectives: Sweet

Name: Alex Belladonna Jones Pronouns: He/Him Birthday: September 17th Status: Taken S.O: Kit Adjectives: Everywhere And they're all ready for YOU to ask THEM questions!

REMEMBER:

These are are real living people, a question one person is okay with could be personal or uncomfortable to awnser for another. PLEASE DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS CONTAINING: NSFW Personal problems Directed to the people and not the characters Do not push for lore reveals and book spoilers from the characters

THESE ARE THE CURRENTLY COMPLETED BOOKS IN THE SERIES:

None! As of right now.

COMPLETED CONCEPT DRAFTS:

Pitchfork Kids Headless Hummingbirds Wattpad link: Pitchfork Kids (@ThePitchforkKids) - Wattpad Google Docs link: The Pitchfork Kids: Headless Hummingbirds - Google Docs Neobook link: https://neobook.org/bakedpintobean/ Notd link: https://notd.io/user/5205702295683072/my-account AO3 link: Pitchfork Kids: Headless Hummingbirds - Chapter 1 - BakedPintoBean - No Fandom [Archive of Our Own]

DISCORD SERVER:

We are so excited to finally be running this thing, so please! Please, please, please ask us questions! They may take some time to be awnsered, but that's only because books are being worked on while this is going on. We would be honored to awnser your question and to start a fun little AU blog! Please ask us questions. Thank you for reading till the end! Stay you and stay Pitchy~

[the-pitchfork-kids]

So.

I made the Gacha Life 2 designs like I said I would. And I like them too much. SO I'm swapping gears and using these as the new main designs!

And yeah I brought Alex back. I just slay like that

[the-pitchfork-kids]

This weeks Incorrect Quote!

Text: *Bickering*

Rose: "A sprite is anything not static!" Asher: "A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d!"

Kit: "A sprite is a fucking soda! You goddamn geekass bastards."

Just realized I did Kit's lines wrong. Oh well.

[the-pitchfork-kids]

christmas after november

please dont tell me any of you guys do this... but 1 out of 3 people do it... and there are way more than 3 of you..

Sydne: "Do you guys know what this "Christmas after November," is?" Asher: "WE CAN'T BURN MY PHOTOS" Isabella: "WE SHOULD! THEY TAKE TOO MUCH SPACE!"

Asher: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU HAVE AN ENTIRE ROOM FOR SOAP!" Isabella: "SOAP IS ACTUALLY USEFUL COMPARED TO FUCKING PHOTOS!"

Text: *Technical difficulties* Sydne: "Zayne! Where did you even come from?!" Toby: SCREW THAT?! HE BROKE THE CAMERA!" Zayne: "I'm gonna guess we have to use my phone now.."

Asher: Kit has an extra. I'll go yell at him" Isabella: "You're one lucky man Asher Tree" Sydne: "Because I'm his girlfriend!" Isabella: No! Because I have to stop yelling at him. Zayne: "Did we turn off the camera mic?" Toby: "SHIT! NOT YET!" (Apologies for typos) Thank you anon!

[the-pitchfork-kids]

halloween outfits hello

spooky month passed but hello halloween outfits pls

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECIEVE MY DEAREST ANON!

Text: Toby? More like... A random ass demon

Text: Sydne? More like... Mary Poppins

Text: Kit? More like... UwU Cat Maid

Text: Asher? More like... The Lorax

Text: Isabella? More like... Ragatha from The Amazing Digital Circus

Text: Zayne? More like... Spiderman Noir

Text: Devereaux? More like... Jevil from Deltarune

Text: Toms? More like... Nikolai from BSD

Text: Val? More like... A random ass vampire

Text: Destiny? More like... Hu Tao from Genshin Impact

Text: Rose? More like... Fizzarolli from Helluva Boss I do apologize for the weirdly cropped photos and hard to read handwriting

Thank you anon!

[the-pitchfork-kids]

Favorite Shows?

I know that one of you guys like BSD... But what about the rest of you fellas?

Asher: Ever heard of The Cuphead Show?

Asher: How did the TV do that? Sydne: *Squealing intensifies* Toby: Helluva Boss counts too! Kit: Hazbin Hotel probably will count too when it releases... Thank you anon!

[the-pitchfork-kids]

18 page explaination on how walmart rob

pls document your walmart robbing routines i need a new one

Kit: Don't give her any ideas! Sydne: Z z z...

Thank you @ccloudgrape !

[the-pitchfork-kids]

So... Trios? Duos? Quadlets?

What are the internal groups inside your groups? Who out of all your groups are the closest? (I'm not trying to suggest that some of you are like.. excluded, or something, I'm just wondering who are the closest of friends?)

Romantic Groups <3 Kit, Toby & Toms- Walking Chaos Sydne & Asher- Was thrown across IKEA & Bonded Zayne & Destiny- Sigh.

Friends groups: Isabella & Rose - Take an L bitch Zayne & Devereaux- Silent siblings

Theo: WHY AM I SO ALONE.

Thank you anon!

[the-pitchfork-kids]

This weeks incorrect quote!

Sydne: Has been sitting in soft flowers for the last week Asher: "Sydne, I'm questioning your sanity..."

Rose: "I never questioned it, I knew her sanity was missing from the start."

Credit to Perchance Incorrect Quote generator!

[the-pitchfork-kids]

THE PITCHFORKIANS OF TUMBLR

We wish you a merry Christmas, joyous holidays, and a happy new year! As a Christmas gift to all you lovely little lads, I present to you;

In the twelve days of CHRISTMAS Pitchfork Kids gave to me

Twelve pitchforks a-kidding

Eleven poisons missing

Ten clouds a-greening

Nine skates a-rolling

Eight lings a-breathin'

Seven photos taking

Six limbs a-breakin'

Five crying kids!

Four french haters

Three inkwells

Two dumb fucks

And a Zayne dressed up as a tree!

[the-pitchfork-kids]

TODAY'S WEEKLY INCORRECCT QUOTE

Credit: Incorrect Quote Generator ― Perchance Remember to click on the images for better quality

Asher: "Look! This ones a heart, that's how I feel about you!"

Asher: "This ones like Michigan, that's how I feel about you!"

Kit: "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!"