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jazjelspen · 7 months

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my angel baby (part 5)

(angel w/ angel daughter reader)

(caution!!!!!: mild descriptions of violence)

(notes: alastor joins charlie and vaggie in heaven to convince them about the hotel. angel reader resembles a fawn.)

(tags: @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @just-here-reading @avitute @iam-d3ad-ins1de @des-deswain5621 @xephieeee @glowymxxn @potaturkey17 @insomniacfigure @pooplyface1423 @mo-0-o @thekanrojimitsuri2 @nevermorekisses @wildfire153 )

My lovely editor<333: @kruncher

You were now in Rosie’s Emporium.

In Cannibal Town.

God.

In absolute shambles you were.. if it were in any other place it would be embarrassing seeing your state but considering the drastic circumstances and absolute 180 in the changes of temperatures, colors, smells, energy and even uncovered emotions that you haven't felt since you were a human finally coming out of the shadows and resurfacing, it all simply felt too much and was overwhelming your psyche.

Yet despite this— you knew you had to tough this out.

But here you were, gentle hands trembling and holding a cup of.. tea.

At least you really hoped it was tea.

“Now sweetie what in the unholy world are you doing down here? Hm?

Now now don’t keep me in suspense, if it helps any I’m not going to let anyone else’s filthy hands get on your pure little self!

Oh and me included, minus the filthy hands, mine are quite taken care of.”

This lady only made you cower a bit more simply by talking. Her sharp teeth and this confident air around her only intimidated you more.

If that’s the case.. how’d you even get in this building? Surely you had enough time to run from her in the middle of it..

Well, it's simply because she kept you from getting eaten by yet an oncoming crowd that saw the interaction with you and this apparent 'Susan' to which they seemed to have taken the old lady’s comment a bit.. too much to heart.

Their claws and baring mouths full of sharp bone, tongues salivating in wanting to try a taste of your fresh golden blood that gave off a sweet scent to them from afar.

She managed to scurry them all off with a few demands and a set of sharp words of her own, keeping you safe from becoming cannibal food for the day and honestly you'd rather be on this lady's good side if she had that kind of power to drive away the cannibals the way she did.

Your wing was even cleaned and bandaged by her despite your constant flapping in distrust and fear when she came near, feathers sprawling everywhere as if several pillows were ripped open in a kind of violent pillow fight. You were seated at a table with two chairs facing each other on each side, a bit farther back in the emporium.

“…Promise you won’t eat me, miss..”

The lady smiled fondly, her expression looking like she’s smiling towards a young child scared of the big wide world. She seemed to be genuine and true with her actions but you just really wanted to get to the hotel as soon as you could..

“Of course little thing, I promise I won’t.

Oh and where are my manners! The name's Rosie, sweetheart, I own the Cannibal Town and I lead the Cannibal Colony. Absolutely pleased to meet you."

You looked up at her with eyes full of fear and a hesitance to trust her, to give her any information at all about your circumstances.

But you weren’t raised to lie.. maybe twisting the truth wouldn’t hurt much? Keeping a few things under the rug?..

“Nice to meet you too miss Rosie..you may call me-- uh- ______.

Look I’m.. Im just looking to get back home. I heard Charlie Morningstar can help since she was in heaven awhile ago and she's the Princess of Hell, I must speak with her soon..”

The woman’s face brightened up like the sun with her sharp-toothed smile widening in remembrance. Spooking you out a tad..

“Charlie Morningstar! A real sweet thing that girl, adorable little blonde. Just a few months ago she came about and managed to convince my town of misfits to help her in preparing to defend the hotel against the angels! My goodness did she sweep them off their feet!

But yes, I know exactly where her hotel is! I can take you there as well, not a long stroll from here I'm sure. Oh but.. "

She paused with the back of her hand gently grazing your spread injured wing, it recoiling back at her touch.

"Wouldn't be surprised if any other wild sinner would want to hunt you down for sport, so maybe a nice stroll would be out of the question."

Her pale hand then moved to hold the end of her chin, the other resting on her hip as the gears in her heard started moving to find a safer passage to the hotel for you to get there.. her piqued interest in you has her wanting to see you advance a bit to see what potential you could have in this entire quarry between the both worlds at war.

"Aha! Perhaps we could have you hide inside one of those delivery carriages the townspeople have been taking in and out here to bring materials and food to the hotel. That way you avoid being seen by any potential eyes that could bring bad luck to you."

She walked up towards the large window illuminating the inside of the emporium as well as the two of you with light from Hell's pink and red hues that brighten the entirety of the realm. Her eyes now searching for a particular large object and... voila! She found it right across the town square and standing right in front of a local shop.

"Oh isn't this just perfect! There is one right there, the timing couldn't be more convenient."

You inhaled a quick breath and exhaled it as fast as it came, somehow still incredibly nervous being in a small space with this woman. Oh geez..

But you couldn't exactly complain since you did contribute in having yourself in this situation.

"So.. could we perhaps go.. now? I just.. want to head home as soon and safe as possible ma'am.."

She then suddenly turned to look at you, dress twirling and the feathers on her hat swaying in a way that indicates their movements could barley keep up with hers.

"Oh but of course! Considering half of the town's population is working on the hotel I must visit and check up on them as much as I can. I also must visit a dear ol' friend of mine, real gas that man is.

Well, then let's hop to it now shall we? We better hurry up while our tool of transportation is still here."

Your ears peaked up in slight delight at the fact that you're actually going to be heading over to the hotel now! So soon as well! This saves you so much more time, effort, and blood in trying to find the place you just knew you had to thank the woman in dark fuchsia and gray for taking you all this way. A little voice couldn't help but nag at you at how too convenient this all is.

Too bad you didn't think too much into that.

"Y..Yes! Yes ma'am!" You got up from your seat and set down your cup saucer on the table and scrambled to catch up to her and her pace with your heart pumping in your chest.

Both of you strolled across the Cannibal Plaza towards and up to the local shop with two large delivery carriages that seemed to lean on to a more older style, with them seemingly from the 1900s and were designed as if they were to hold containers like dairy and such and even people, it includeda large window on the driver's seat where they could peak in by turning their backs and looking down.. oh and it'd be a crime to not mention the horses! Although they seemed more undead and violently volatile like their cannibal owners they still were a nice touch.

Rosie and you approached them, Rosie with more confidence and you.. the opposite. "Walter, George," she spoke, an air of casualness persists "Good to see your faces alive and well! Hope you two got a minute to speak to two esteemed gals?"

The men, named Walter and George, looked up at the two of you with interest.

"Well if it isn't our Rosie! Good to see you as well madame, we sure hope you're enjoying this fine day with glee!" the man, seemingly the one called Walter spoke.

Rosie chuckled, "Oh I sure am, I even found myself a new little friend here! Which leads me in having to ask the both of you for a favor that is of most importance."

The other cannibal that goes by George focused his eyes on her and her words, "Why, anything for our beloved Rosie! What can we do for you ma'am?"

You hid slightly behind Rosie, feeling a strange comfort in just her status and power over rest of her people that made you feel at least a bit more safe from them. You would've continued listening to her conversation with the two men if the distant yet also near sound of explosions echoed across all of Hell which made you jump a little and stifle a gasp ever so slightly.

No one exactly noticed this or acknowledged the sounds too much which got you thinking if this is truly just an everyday thing.. of course it is it's hell but-- geez.. how can anyone live like this! Explosions, blood, guts, corpses, drugs, diseases, infections running rampant and indulged in the way pigs would at old farm food.

Just the thought of that damn severed hand being eaten by that little kid that you stumbled upon earlier just made you sick.. ugh.

Is this what Alastor indulges in as well?.. in his own sick way? Is he truly comfortable in a place like this?..

He must be, if he's murdered as many as he did when he was alive, you didn't dare think how many he's hurt and murdered down here as well.

He truly did belong here, in hell. He was a sadist and a psycho through and through.

And that's what disgusted you the most.

"You hear that dear! One of them is half near empty! Let's head on at once!”

Rosie finally snapped you out of your thoughts, you then just nodded as if you were present in the moment this entire time.

Rosie put a hand behind your back to guide you to the back of one of the delivery carriages and as one man held the doors open for the two of you, you both went in and sat down on the neat little benches on the inside and you couldn't help but to acknowledge the several boxes of nails and other unmentionables that you assumed was meant for the hotel and the people working on it.

Eventually after the doors closed you managed to get light by the large window that brightened up the darkness in your new much smaller environment.

“You know ______ darling, you remind me of someone I know.”

Rosie’s sudden voices spooked you quite a bit, it was a bit out of nowhere as it interrupted the awkward silence between the two of you.

“I.. do?”

She nods as her hands rested on the handle of her closed umbrella, sitting in a most elegant way.

Thank goodness she was versatile, considering the circumstances.

“You remind me of a certain friend I’m going to see when we reach the hotel, you see he’s a very powerful fellow. Charming and helpful but.. what interests me more is how alike you both look..”

It’s starting to click slightly once she said ‘he’.. god you just hoped she wasn’t referring to Alastor -- even though you knew how likely it is that she was.

"Oh? Really?.. " acting oblivious I see, but before you could properly respond to her the sound of a whip could be heard with the loud neighs of a horse following right after, making the carriage start moving.

The ride wasn't too bad, a bit traumatizing sure and you really got a good experience of hell.. more or so decent.

In the middle of your ride you seemed to have passed by a rival gang having a shootout considering the two flying bullets that punctured your vehicle which most definitely tensed you up, yet you tried to relax seeing Rosie's opposite reaction.

Then you heard many yowls and screams of ache and pain, all with their own sounds of bodies falling or the sound of wet and squishiness following the disgusting act of puncturing with some sort of weapon you couldn't even imagine can be heard despite passing by the sounds quickly.

The live murders made you feel queasy in ways that made you almost want to throw up but knew you had to keep your head up high.

God, knowing you can't see anything but still hear everything is absolute torture for your wild imagination.

"Miss Rosie, does this--" a loud boom from afar interrupted you, making you almost shrivel up "--does this.. amount of chaos truly...happen everyday?.. I know it’s.. hell but-- isn't there at least one day where this isn't happening?.."

"Oh it never stops darling. It's hell and it will keep going this way until the end of time. I do apologize though.. seems as if your pure little head isn't used to this kind of environment." Duh. "Oh but then that means you'll surely get along with the princess, if anything she seems to be more fit to be an angel."

You simply huffed as your hands trembled on your lap.

This place was downright unpredictable, and you truly hope you would be able to leave this place right after the war.

You miss home already.

----------------------------------------------------

Finally arriving at the Hazbin Hotel was a real treat.

Not really actually-- pfft.

At least not when you had to be around even more cannibals..

Now you knew why the town seemed a little.. empty. The rest were all here.

Charming of them to be helping out but thanks to 'Susan' you didn't want to interact with any of them.

Walking out of your carriage you felt your heart up in your throat and slowly start to beat at a violent pace. Your anxiety was rising.

Rosie lead you to the front of the hotel doors, seemingly dusting herself off fixing her hair and hat before her hand turned into a fit to knock at the door.

You did the same thing she did, except in a more nervous and trembly way. Alastor was in here.. you were sure of it. You could feel it in your bones and your veins wanting to pop blood from out your ears and nose was seemingly close to happening with how hard the beating of your pulse got once Rosie finally did what you were dreading slightly.

knock, knock.. knock.

'okay _____ stay calm. you knew this was going to be bad, but you're here now.. just breathe, breathe...' you followed your own advice and took an inhale but as you let your shaky exhale out the door was slowly opening.

your eyes were staring dead at the head of the door.

was it Charlie? Vaggie? Alastor?--

"Hello there, just came to deliver someone who was looking for the Hotel. Oh and I came to check up on my cannibals and on Alastor."

Rosie all but confirmed it.

She knew Alastor.

For some reason, your heart sank, not just because she knew Alastor very well apparently but because this feels like a sort of strange betrayal.

You really wished she would've told you.. but if she did you would've freaked out even more-- and maybe she could tell?.. wait-- how would she even know your connection to him anyway??.. looking like a fawn couldn't just straight up tell her..

Yet when you finally looked up at the now open door it was actually none of those three that you knew of.

It was a.. cat? A grumpy lookin' one.

He looked at you and up at Rosie, her arm proceeding to go behind your back to push you gently up closer to the door as if to tell the cat to let you in. His eyes widened at the look at you and your physical attributes.. your wings and halo catching his eye but your fawn like appearance only enhancing the tension in his face a lot more.

He eventually let out a husky sigh with the expression on his face relaxing, his voice being very low and his years were audible in his vocal chords he then turned behind him to loudly announce one single thing from afar:

"You've got company."

He turned back at the two of you and opened the door for you to go through, Rosie guiding you in first.

"He's inside talking to the princess, just walk ahead, take a right and you'll see him." He spoke straight forwardly and serious, it made you feel a little unwelcome. Yet as you walked in you couldn't help but feel those eyes of his stick to you like glue.. you couldn't really blame him-- you were sure they don't see an angel everyday the way you are with hell's environments.

The clicking of Rosie's shoes and the gentle pitter patter of your own gave you goosebumps up your arms, and the more you walked and the closer you heard certain voices the more your spine crawled.

One step.

Two steps.

Three steps.

Four steps...

You could barley hear anything but the thumping of your own heart.

The small area of the hotel seemed to have been a sort of living room, sets of chairs and sofas surrounding a television box that seemed to be from one of the more later years after your time.

A calm Alastor and a stressed out Charlie were seated on the two different sofa while facing each other with papers and maps scattered around the table in the middle. Rosie lead you further to have you be in the view of the both of them.. you could've sworn her smile stretched as she did so

"Well if it isn't our beloved Rosie! What a warming surprise!--" Alastor's voice cheered until the end, where a sharp radio static interrupted his sentence and irritated those ears of yours.

"Rosie!" Charlie stood up from her seat in a polite yet frazzled state "Thank you so much for visiting!.. and I-- oh.."

The silence was deafening. You waved awkwardly as you avoided eye contact with your father and faced Charlie herself, her eyes basically ready to budge out and her jaws hanging slightly.

"Just came to visit and bring a little gift! I found this little bird during my stroll around my cannibal town and she seems to need your assistance! Isn't that right ______ darling?"

Rosie finished her sentence by patting your shoulder gently before her hands finally rested on the handle of her umbrella once more. You fiddled with your hands as you shined an awkward smile.. you looked like a child about to give a powerpoint presentation to a class..

'oh dear.. "

—--------------------------------------------

It was yet another cold and dark night in the beautiful New Orleans, faint night music can be heard even in the dead of night from the nearby clubs. A fresh and gentle night,

Ah but.. Alastor wasn’t exactly getting his hours of much needed sleep, for he had been rudely awakened by the cries of a baby.

Yes, you were around ten months old at this time and Alastor was yet to get used to this. There wasn’t a day that passed by where he didn’t think of dropping you at an orphanage. But then again.. It wasn’t that hard to get you to stop crying so those heinous thoughts left very quickly. Except for this day, he was getting challenged by a ten month old you.

“Shh shh shh.. goodness _____ please just go to sleep..” he mumbled, definitely frustrated. Despite his pleas, you just kept on crying and crying while resting over his shoulder. He fed you, patted your back, rocked you to sleep.. nothing worked– unfortunately Alastor wasn’t thinking of one of the most obvious solutions to this situation since the poor guy was too tired to truly think properly.

He kept gently patting your back, shushing you and cooing softly in hopes to tire you out. Your small yet mighty cries continued to rage against his ear..

god he had no idea what to do.

That was when he held you, his hands under your arms as he had you held in front of his face. His glasses were sloppily slapped above his nose, eye bags under his eyes, and a small smile was threatening to turn into a huge frown.

“Little lady.. I don’t appreciate you keeping me up longer than usual tonight, what in the world could you want?” Alastor asked you despite knowing you couldnt understand let alone talk to him back. You simply looked at him with big innocent eyes filled with tears, your baby face stained with dry and wet tear stains and your mouth nibbling on your hand on the verge of crying all over again. Alastor couldn’t help but to look at you almost blankly, he just wanted to sleep.

Gahh but then your eyes started watering again, your little bottom lip curled up over your top one as it quivered and looked at him with these little pained eyes as if he just told you the worst thing ever.

“Oh don’t look at me like that..” he mumbled.. Dreading the feeling you gave him when you cried– it felt like your cries were hurting him, it pained him hearing you cry so hard.

He wasn’t exactly fond of feeling this.

Your loud crying resumed once again, Alastor let out a huge sigh.

“Oh fine- I apologize.. There, better now?” you cried harder, clearly.. no.

He groaned as he then rested you on his chest, your face over his shoulder once again. If your crying wasn’t going to stop he might as well listen to a song to calm his agitation. And so he did, he headed to the living room to then turn on the phonograph. With the device already having a disc in it he simply had to turn it on so it could play where it left off and the second it released the sound of bliss he let out a sigh of relief, that at least despite the crying he could at least go through this as calmly as possible.

The music wasn’t exactly loud, very faint in fact yet he could still hear it a little bit over your crying. He hummed to the tune of the song as he simply patted your back gently and waited for your cries to disintegrate.

This was one of his favorite songs as they were from a musician that is recently becoming incredibly famous in the music industry and Alastor was fascinated by their use of melody and sound.

Melodies that reminded him of the days of his mother when she was still gracing the earth, a real saint that woman was.

Sometimes he talks to her through a photo of her on the wall, asking her questions she’ll never answer, seeking advice and wisdom that he won’t ever be able to hear again.

If only her sickness didn’t overtake her as fast as it did, maybe she would know what to say to motivate him more in this moment of struggle.

He thought and thought and thought as if his head would burst if he didn't.. wondering how she would help him in raising you. What she would say, her suggestions, recommendations.. what would she do in a situation like this.

He knew he had to stay calm and stay in control, he had to keep smiling for that’s what his mother always did no matter what came her way.

She handled it with grace, poise, and with a smile.

It took him around an hour of overthinking about his mothers death, you, his future, his job, and his.. pff.. fascinations.. the lack of sleep seriously taking a toll on him as his want was slowly getting tired of patting you.

But most of all he was thinking about you. His future included yours.

How kind.. despite being so heartless.

Oh.. the song ended and all that was left was the soft static from the machine, blissful silence was all that was heard.

Wait..

Silence?

He looked over his shoulder to look at you, your little baby cheeks squished against him, your eyes closed and your breathing steady..

Finally! You're asleep.

Another sigh of relief released from his lips, continuing to loudly hum the same song that was playing earlier as he slowly walked out of the living room towards his room, now stopping at your crib.

He continued humming as one of his hands held the back of your head and the other held your back, gently placing you in the crib while humming the tune he kept you close while he set you down so you wouldn’t suddenly burst in crying again.

Once he gently managed to place you down with no fuss.. He was darn ready to sleep.

Oh but he took a moment to look at you, leaning against the railings of your ‘bed’ made specifically for you.

Your little baby fat and your squishy cheeks that made your little face even cuter– once again, he was never fond of kids let alone babies but hell if only you didn’t look at him the way you did on that rainy day he found you.. Giggling and smiling even when you didn’t have a single clue of what your situation was as a month old baby.

“You are definitely a handful.. If you kept crying I might have left you in an orphanage by now.” he whispered and joked to himself– no matter the cruel jokes he makes he’ll always find laughter in moments or scenarios of despair.

He’s too far gone now though, he’s bought all your necessities and his home basically screams of a baby’s presence, so even if he truly wanted to do that he knew it’s too late to turn back and you're stuck to him forever.. Well however long ‘forever’ is.

"Domestic life was never quite my style.. still isn't, but I can simply make a few exceptions."

“Well now.. sweetest of dreams, little dove.” he mumbled quietly before finally heading to his own bed himself.

Alastor finally settling in and finally getting comfortable and very slowly falling asleep himself.. glasses back on his nightstand and the noise around him becoming fainter and his mind seemed to finally start powering off for the night.

Finally.. time to sleep.. there's much work to do tomorrow.

Until he heard shuffling from the crib.

‘Oh god.’

(thank you so much for reading part 5 of my angel baby! the stakes are gonna get real high between the reader and Alastor! hope everything goes well for the two when one of them starts interacting!(alastor lmao) hope to see you all in part 6 if you are willing to stick around! Im really only planning to finish this series until the very end or until you guys stop wanting it but nonetheless I hope we reach the end of this story soon!!)

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heartpascal · 2 years

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something is rotten

▹ — joel miller x niece!reader

▹ — summary: part two of to an empty house — arriving in jackson brings painful feelings, and even worse conversations.

▹ — a/n: UGH!! guys im not all that happy with this one!! ive changed it a couple times too D: but i have left yall hanging long enough!! lemme know if you want anymore about these guys :’) && ty guys sm for all the support ILY!!

▹ — warnings: slight spoilers for episode 6 ‘kin’, swearing, ANGST!!!, a bit of comfort, father figure joel, reader has daddy issues, and abandonment issues, and is generally not struggling in life PLS

▹ — tags: @canpillowscry @randomstory56 @angsty-twihardxx @frogtits1 @exiledangel @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @vee-vee-writes @rhyanna6012 @snixx2088 @mona-aiko @mymommmy (those of you tagged in italics asked for part 2 in the comments of the first part! drop me a message if you want your tag removed!!)

masterlist

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Life in the apocalypse had been non-stop since you had left that hydroelectric power plant, left behind Tommy, and for a while, all thoughts of him. There hadn’t been time to worry about that sort of thing, between almost losing Joel, and then almost losing Ellie, and then finally reaching the hospital that had been your end goal.

In some ways, you were glad. It kept your mind racing, the feeling of constantly being on edge allowing your brain to stay away from silly things, such as your father.

But now, with that whole chapter finally being over, Joel and Ellie were ready to settle down, to live in a home, rather than travelling miles upon miles, never feeling safe. The three of you had been through a lot, and since the… incident with Ellie, her joke book had remained closed.

You knew that Joel had noticed the change in her, just the same as you had. What she had thought to be her purpose, the justification for everybody who had been lost on your journey, their sacrifice, had been for nothing. It was tearing her apart, and it hurt you to watch it happen.

There was no question about your next destination, though you tried to ignore the reality of it for as long as you possibly could, you were fully aware that Jackson was what Ellie needed. Hell, you’d even go as far as to say it was what Joel needed, too. But deep down, you knew that going there was going to tear you to pieces, despite the way you liked to put on a strong front, following in Joel’s footsteps even in that sense.

You didn’t share your concerns, content to continue the journey in silence, pretending not to notice the way Joel and Ellie looked at you the closer you got to the town.

“Hey, you okay?” Ellie murmured to you, the final stop of your journey feeling like something similar to that of impending doom. She nudged your arm with her elbow, smiling in a way that didn’t quite reach her eyes like it used to.

“Mighty fine.” You responded, her dim smile reflected in your own, and you let it fall the moment she nodded at you, despite clearly being unconvinced by your words.

You fell into step beside her and Joel, and felt his hand grasp on to your shoulder as you caught glimpse of Jackson in the not far enough distance. He squeezed your shoulder the slightest bit, and gave you the biggest reassuring smile he could muster, though it didn’t soothe your worries like it used to.

Maybe it was everything the three of you had been through over your journey, or maybe it was the impending arrival at Jackson, but you were starting to notice the world had become much dimmer than you remembered it to be. Joel’s grip less reassuring, Ellie’s smile less genuine, that faint hope in your gut long gone. With a frown, the thought came to you that this was what it meant to grow up.

The lines on Ellie’s face said the same thing, the sigh that had left her chest, made up of pure exhaustion, just told you that her naive nature had vanished. Jokes no longer received the same laughter, and the world no longer held beauty. Growing up felt like hopelessness settling, nuzzling its way in and making itself at home in that space around your heart. The grip it had made it feel like perhaps, it wouldn’t be all too bad if that heartbeat slowed, but you pushed that thought aside for another time.

For now, you’d have to focus on the problem at hand; arriving in Jackson.

It was warmer now than it had been when you’d left the power plant, and it showed in the way that the green lands had brightened, the sun settling and warming the back of your neck. The heat meant less layers, and the three of you had removed your jackets long before arriving in the town.

The lookouts had spotted you all before you’d been anywhere near the gate, so it was no surprise that Tommy was there to greet the three of you when the gates were finally pulled open, allowing you a peek into the home he valued so much.

Walking in, you had already begun your self-appointed mission of ignoring every word Tommy Miller said, but felt yourself almost blown away by the sights around you. For a moment, just a split second, it was nice.

That thought went out the window a second later, catching a glimpse of your so-called father, and you couldn’t help but recall the way you’d sat for endless nights, waiting for that very man, and imagined yourself living a life with him in a town just like this one.

You felt sick.

That little kid deserved better, you decided. You were worthy of living this kind of life, of getting to sleep in a warm house, of not having to worry about if Joel and Tess would get enough ration cards to feed the three of you, of getting horse riding lessons! The facts of the situation stared you in the face, getting clearer the longer you looked around. Your own father denied you of this life.

With building anger, the feeling white-hot, burning, you turned to Joel where he was speaking with his brother. “Where are we staying?”

Tommy looked between you and Joel, swallowing when Joel just raised a brow at him, and spoke, “Uh, little place just a couple blocks over. 38, I think. Rancher Street, I’ll take you guys over—”

“I’ll make my own way.” You snapped, before he could even finish his sentence. If you had to look at him for even a second longer, you were sure that the overflowing anger and resentment would explode, and you weren’t convinced anyone would be able to pick up the pieces that would be left behind.

You stormed down the street before he could say another word to you, turning down the first alley you saw and standing still in the street on the other side, letting out a harsh breath.

You couldn’t be sure how long you’d stood there for, trying to turn down the simmering emotions inside of you, but it was clearly long enough for somebody to notice. “You good there?” A young girl asked, and you turned to her, brows furrowed.

“‘M fine.” You responded gruffly, and even you could hear the way your speech reflected Joel’s own. The thought calmed you, almost, reminding you of who your real dad was.

She stepped closer, clearly not taking a hint, “You sure? New in town? You look lost.”

“Yes, yes, and I’m not lost.” You said to her, though you didn’t exactly know where you were. She just raised her eyebrows at you, and you huffed, “Lookin’ for a Rancher Street.”

The girl nodded, something between a smirk and a smile on her face, and pointed forward, “First left twice, then a right. Should get you there just fine.”

“Thanks.” You said, immediately heading off in the direction she’d guided you in. You kept your head down, brows furrowed, and tried to keep your attention away from the world around you. It was clear that it’d just make you more angry.

You counted along with the house numbers as you passed by, Rancher Street wasn’t that densely populated, if the look of the houses were anything to go by. There was quite a few that looked run down, number 38 included, once you arrived. You went inside, the door already unlocked, and sneezed when you inhaled all the dust that clouded the air. This place must’ve been barely touched throughout the last twenty years.

Grabbing a book left on the coffee table, you pulled it open, and sat on the edge of an old sofa, sighed through your nose when even more dust floated up from it.

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“You’ll go, because it’s the polite thing to do.” Joel told you firmly, sighing heavily as he looked over at you with his arms crossed.

“You think I give a shit about being polite?” You asked him, mirroring his stance by crossing your own arms. He rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose as he clearly brainstormed a way to get around your stubbornness.

“Just this one time,” He told you, saying your name pleadingly, “Then you’ll never have to go ‘round there again.”

That peaked your interest, and you uncrossed your arms, “Really? You promise?”

“Swear.” Joel replied, and sighed something near to relief, finally calling Ellie’s name. The stairs creaked, and she appeared less than a second later.

“You coming?” She asked, thought she had obviously been sat on the stairs, listening to yours and Joel’s… conversation, the whole time.

“Yeah,” You sighed unhappily, “I’m coming.”

The three of you made your way across town, with Joel checking a scrap piece of paper that you could only assume held directions. Lights had flickered on by now, the darkness of the evening being offset by the yellow lamps that poured light over the street. It was weird, you thought, being able to see so clearly in the darkness.

Joel knocked at the wooden door when you arrived, looking back at you where you stood, just off the porch with Ellie, like he thought you might run away if he didn’t keep his eyes on you.

Though the thought had occurred to you, you wouldn’t do it, not if it meant that Joel’s promise would be vacant. Just this once, he had sworn.

The front door opened as Ellie knocked your arm with her elbow, giving you a slight reassuring smile. You appreciated the effort, but the reassurance fell flat. There was something about this situation that you just couldn’t put into words, but it hurt. Her arm wrapped through your own as Joel followed Tommy inside, and she led you in after them, closing the door behind you.

Immediately, you were tense. Your heart felt as if it was beating in your throat, like it was going to stop if you took another step. You tried not to look around, keeping your eyes on your battered old shoes as you let Ellie continue leading you through the house.

Her abrupt stop had you stumbling into her, and lifting your head with furrowed brows. You glanced to where she was looking, seeing the names Kevin and Sarah written in a scrawl on a chalkboard in what you guessed would be a living room. You frowned, and gripped Ellie’s arm tighter, breaking her from her stare at the board.

You pretended not to notice the homely feel to the house, the warmth of it making your palms sweat. If you allowed your mind to wonder too far, you’d be reminded of how you had dreamed of living a life like this as a kid, dreamed of a house just like this one, shared with your father. You would be reminded of how he chose to have this, chose to have it without you.

Good job you keep your mind on a tight leash, you supposed, gritting your teeth and blinking away the angry tears that wanted to rise and fall from your eyes.

You breathed in deeply through your nose, looking up as Ellie began to loosen her grip on your arm, having arrived at the dining room. The concept had always been strange to you, having lived in a shitty apartment for basically all your life, and having a whole room just for eating seemed like a waste of valuable space.

Ellie took a seat, and you quickly followed in her example as Joel stood talking to Tommy by the doorway, engaged in conversation like they were as close as they had been two decades ago.

“You got this.” Ellie said, her hand on squeezing your arm as she looked towards where you were wringing your fingers together, your stomach feeling as though you’d left it back by the porch. You nodded at her, swallowing and smiling tightly.

You stayed quiet as Tommy finished setting the table, before he was moving back and forth between the dining room and kitchen, bringing various plates and a few sauces with each trip. Finally, he sat down at the head of the table beside Ellie, and you kept your gaze away from him.

“Sorry I couldn’t be there to greet you guys when you got in,” Maria called, finally approaching from the kitchen, and you were keeping your gaze on your hands until Ellie frantically began tapping your, her expression saying something you’d couldn’t quite understand, something close to pity in her eyes. “Kinda hard to get around so quick, these days.” Maria laughed, placed a big plate down on the table before standing back up, her hands on her back and—

If you had eaten any food, you were sure you would’ve thrown it all back up.

There, standing in front of you, was your father’s wife — pregnant.

It felt like a million different feelings were running through your head, faster than you could catch up, all your thoughts were racing, clashing together and leaving only one that was literate: What the fuck?

Maria sat down beside Joel, at Tommy’s side, and you could see in Joel’s eyes that he hadn’t expected this, could see the pity building in his eyes just as you’d seen in Ellie’s, and it was all far too much.

“I can’t do this.” You announced, slamming your hands on the table and feeling some satisfaction in the way the cutlery clattered together. You pushed your chair back, standing up, and saw your father open his mouth to speak.

He said your name, and you snapped.

“Don’t talk to me! What the fuck is wrong with you?” You cried out, staring daggers at the man who was supposed to be your dad. The angry tears that you had managed to push away earlier came rushing back, one already falling down your cheek. You wiped it away angrily.

“Kid, just listen—”

You seethed, “Kid? Do I look like a fucking kid to you? You missed out on that, Tommy. You have no idea—” Your voice broke for a moment, as you thought of all the things that had happened to you since your father had been around. “I don’t have to listen to you. You’re not my dad, remember? You left your daughter, years ago. You have no idea what we’ve been through.”

Ellie was stood beside you, her hand on your shoulder, though when she had got there, you had no idea. The edges of your vision were red, and you could feel the way your throat was tightening.

“I’m sorry,” He started, your name leaving his lips once again, and Ellie held firmly against you as you leant towards him, your blood warming in your veins as your heartbeat echoed in your ears.

“I don’t think sorry cuts it.” You laughed, humourlessly. “I don’t think anything does, actually. I will never forgive you. You hear me? You listening? Never.”

You turned away, Ellie’s hand falling away, and you even avoided Joel as he stood up and tried to reach out for you. You couldn’t face them, not like this, not when it felt like your father had taken a chisel to your heart, and left you with only splintered ribs. You were choking on the emptiness of it, the reality of your life and what it meant to the man who had helped create it.

You were more certain now than ever that he had never cared for you, that he had left because of you, not just despite you.

It was horrible, and it was something you had always suspected. A part of you wished that he had died alongside the Fireflies, because at least then he wouldn’t have had a choice in staying away, right? But no, he was alive and well, thriving in the home he’d made without you, while you worried back at the QZ that barely provided you with enough food to get by.

You were storming away, and had reached the house you'd been allocated before you even really noticed that you had left. The blood in your veins had reached a boil by now, and you could feel the steaming in your lungs, in the way it suffocated you and made every breath burn against your throat.

The backpack in your hands was still filled with everything you owned, seeing as you hadn’t bothered to unpack into somebody else’s bedroom, though it had been theirs a lifetime ago. It didn’t help the deepening rage within you, the despair that was tilting your entire world on its axis. Everything in your life was in this bag, probably weighing less than the plate of food Maria had brought out.

Meanwhile, your father had a whole house full of shit that belonged to him. You scoffed, feeling that burning sensation crawling up your chest, so close to hatred, but something far more raw, more painful.

Your feet took you back out to Rancher Street, legs moving before your mind was fully caught up. You met the rest of the Miller’s halfway through your trek, with them on their way to Joel’s new house, whilst you were trying to make your way to the gate, prepared to leave, rather than get left behind.

Joel called your name, his expression displaying the panic that was crushing his chest. He had been a builder, before. He had fixed things — it was what he did, what he liked to do. But this was something he didn’t know how to fix, something that may have just been broken beyond repair… he wasn’t sure what to do with that.

“Joel, don’t,” You told him, voice trembling as you spoke, stopping in front of the man who had looked after you for your whole life. “Please don’t. Nothin’ that anyone says could make me not hate him. Not even you.”

Joel swallowed, glancing back to his brother behind him, where he stood with his wife, before glancing to Ellie at his own side.

“I—I didn’t mean for this,” Tommy said, arms up by his head as if he was surrendering, but you knew he was just trying to make himself feel better. “I swear!”

“I don’t care,” You cried, feeling your frustration build that none of these people had the ability to understand you, to understand how it felt for your own father to look at you and leave you behind. They couldn’t get how crushing this was, that he was starting over. “Go ahead, start over with your wife. First time ‘round didn’t work, but second time, surely!”

He flinched at your words, as if they had hurt him, but your expression hardened. He had no idea what true hurt was — how could he?

“I know I wasn’t the greatest dad—”

“You have never been my dad. Joel is my dad. He’s looked after me my whole life while you were out lookin’ for something, who knows what, because I don’t believe you ever found it.” You spat at him, feeling Ellie approach your side, hold on to your wrist as your hands clenched into fists.

Joel’s face fell, the reality of your feelings towards your father were crushing, but he could see why you’d feel that way. He’d agree with you, too, if anybody deserved the title of your dad, it’d be himself, not his brother. He remembered a few times when you’d used the name for him, though you had been sick or exhausted down to your very bones both times, and he had figured that in your muddled mind, you’d gotten him confused with Tommy. That was the reason he had never corrected it, not wanting to squash whatever little amount of hope and love you had for his brother. He’d had no idea that the truth was that you saw him, not his brother, and your mind had made that connection.

He felt like he could cry when you turned to him, that glassy look in your eyes, and he saw the pieces of you that his own brother had broken. “I want to leave.” You told him, lip trembling as you said the words.

Joel didn’t know what to reply with — the two of you had nowhere to go, and Ellie didn’t, either. This place was your best option, your only option, really. He shook his head, mouth slightly agape as he tried to think of something to say, something that could convince you.

Ellie said your name, and you drew your gaze to her, where she looked guilty, far guiltier than you had ever seen her. “I want to stay.” She told you, her eyes darting away from you as if she was confessing some awful sin to you.

“I know,” You said, letting her hand slip from your wrist to your own hand, and squeeze tightly. “But I…”

Your gaze moved to Tommy and Maria, and your expression hardened, features turning to stone when you looked at the two of them. “I’ll stay. For now. And I’m still a Miller, but— but if anybody asks, I’m Joel’s daughter.”

Joel nodded, smiling thinly at you, tears welled up in his own eyes, and you nodded back to him.

“O—Okay.” Tommy said, swallowing, but you shushed him before he could continue.

“As for you, I don’t wanna see you. Let’s keep it the way you decided we should be.“ Your voice trembled, but you remained firm on your words. “I don’t wanna see your face, or hear your voice. I don’t want to know you. Joel can do what he likes, but you stay far away from me, you got it? The only kid you have is that one.” You finished, gesturing toward where Maria held a hand over her stomach.

Tommy looked as if he was going to disagree, but people had begun peeking through the windows of the houses on either side of the street, and when Joel stepped beside you, arm immediately going around your shoulders, he knew he had no choice.

“Hope you’re a better father to that kid than you were to me.” You hissed at him, seeing the way his face crumpled and finding satisfaction in it.

The small part of you, the darkest part, hoped every one of your words hurt him. Hoped that he lived the rest of his life knowing that he fucked up, that he ruined you, and that when you built yourself back up, he’d never get the chance to know you.

Joel took the backpack from your shoulder, pulling it over his own, and turned you away from the father you had disowned. The three of you walked away, not looking back to see the way Maria had to herd him away as he stared at you, something close to grief in his eyes.

When you arrived back at 38 Rancher Street, Ellie held your hand tightly while Joel opened the front door, dropping your backpack by the stairs as he moved towards the dust filled living room. The two of you followed him, and he turned around to see you squeezing Ellie’s hand, your lips trembling and your face crumpled as you looked up at him.

“Did I make a mistake? Did I ruin everything?” You asked him, trying so hard to keep yourself together, to tape all the little pieces of yourself into something that resembled okay, but it wasn't working.

“God, no, kid.” Joel said, and he was in front of you and Ellie before you could get another word in, pulling the two of you into his arms and breathing out a tired exhale. “I’m proud of you, proud of you both.” He told you, and your whole facade collapsed beneath you, leaving you sobbing into his arms, wondering where everything had gone wrong, wondering what that little kid would’ve said if she had heard your words tonight.

“We’re gonna be alright.” Joel told the two of you, feeling Ellie squeeze her arms tighter around him, until she let go, pointing upwards to let him know where she was heading. He nodded at her, an understanding expression on his face, and tightened both his arms around you.

“You swear?” You checked, unable to help yourself, and let yourself breathe a shaky sigh into his neck when he responded.

“Swear.”

2K notes · View notes

souliebird · 1 year

Text

[[and then I met you || ch. 2]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to protect his new family from not only Hell's Kitchen but from the world.

pt: 1

words: 6.3k

tag list:

@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife

@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt

@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen

"Mommy, look!"

Minnie calls out from the living room and you look up from finishing up an invoice. She is plopped on the ground, surrounded by a sea of crayons, proudly holding up her latest masterpiece: a series of different colored overlapping circles. You, as usual, have no idea what you are supposed to be looking at, but that doesn't stop the support you give your daughter.

"That's so good, Mouse. You picked such pretty colors." She beams at you and you return the smile, your heart feeling so full. You love her so much and you want only the best for her and you hope - pray - bringing her father into her life is the right choice.

Your meeting with Matt went so much better than you ever thought it could go. He wants to be in Minnie's life and that makes you nervously excited. You have absolutely no inkling of how things are going to change moving forward, and a huge part of you is terrified but another part can't wait for Minnie and Matt to get to know each other. You keep going over your admittedly short conversation trying to remember all the little tics you saw that reminded you of Minnie. You want to know what else she inherited from him.

You tell yourself those thoughts are for later and force them away so you can get back to work. It is getting close to bedtime and you have a few things to tidy up before you can clock out.

Luckily, Minnie has gone back to her drawing, scribbling away while Scooby Doo plays silently on the television and you are able to work in peace. Ten minutes later, you close out your VPN and leisurely stretch out in your chair, watching your little angel do her thing.

You are worried about her reactions to the change. Unfortunately, one of the things she got from you is your anxiety - your little one's nickname is Mouse for a reason. She is a quiet timid little thing who loves to watch and observe - like a little church mouse. You joke you need to put a bell on her because she can walk right by you without making a single noise. Her quiet nature doesn't mesh well with strangers.

You've been taking her to daycare more, hoping socializing will help, and it has, but that is worth other kids. You don't know how she'll react to a new adult in her life who she would have a more casual relationship with. You have no family and the few friends you have have known her since she was a baby.

Minnie knows what a dad is but she's never asked where hers is and you certainly haven’t brought it up to her.

But now you have to.

You need to figure out what the best approach would be. You know it has to be slow and steady, but you don't know if you should introduce Matt to her as her father or not. The biggest change she's been through is going to daycare and that took ages. She hated it.

She hates being around strangers for extended periods.

Out and about? She is okay. She's shy and likes to hide behind your leg instead of talking to people, but she doesn't complain.

But when she has to sit and interact with someone new? She can get fussy. It's not just her being shy, she gets physically uncomfortable.

She has no problems if it's just the two of you or someone she knows, but strangers? It can turn into a tantrum, depending on her mood.

You've discovered a few methods to make her more comfortable. You have about fifteen pairs of child sized noise canceling headphones, your bag is full of little things to distract her, and she has her Pig.

You think introducing her to Matt where she can sit and color and block him out if she wants is the best course of action and to achieve that, you don't think you can tell her the truth right away. She might feel some pressure to Behave because Dad is an authority figure. Not to mention what she would feel if she started asking questions; like why he hasn’t been around.

She's curious but she's also three and unpredictable.

She could immediately go into tantrum mode.

She could not care at all and want to color instead.

You hope Matt understands all of this and doesn't want to jump right into being a Father.

Whatever that entails.

A change in colors and tones on the television catches your attention and you push yourself away from your desk.

"Okay, sweetie, Scooby is over, time to get ready for bed."

Minnie finishes her scribble then drops the crayon on the ground. You wait as she climbs up onto her feet and starts to pick up her mess - her crayons go into a pail one at a time. You don't know what goes on in her mind, but as long as she's doing what she is supposed to be, you don't rush her.

There's no lollygagging with your sweet girl, anyways. Once the crayons are in their bucket, she puts that under the coffee table, then picks up her drawing pad and brings it to you. You scoop her up and start towards the bedroom, as she admires her drawings.

"What do you want to read tonight?" You ask.

"Spot!" is the instant reply and you should have guessed that. You've been reading the same book for over a week now, but you don't mind. You'd rather read the same thing over and over than hunt for something she does want to read for an hour.

Getting ready for bed is something that usually goes smoothly and you are lucky tonight is no different. Minnie is already in her pajamas, so it's just turning down the sheets and getting her all tucked in before you start to read. You keep an eye on the time as you do - you have a half hour before Matt said he would call.

If he does call.

He said he would and you are trying to be hopeful that he will. You've been disappointed so many times in the past - not just by lovers but everyone. People promise to call, to text, to follow up and they never do. They say you can do something together then cancel at the last minute. You are used to that disappointment, but you don't want Minnie to experience that. You want her to feel loved and wanted.

You know it's not fair to Matt, but to you the call is a sort of test he doesn't know he is taking.

Will he call? Will he call on time?

The more you think about the call, the more anxious you get. There's too many thoughts starting to gather.

The meeting could have been a fluke and now that he's thought it over, he doesn't want to be a dad.

Or he wants to be a dad but not with You. What if you are the problem?

"Mommy," Minnie shakes you out of your thoughts, looking up at you with big brown eyes. "Next page!"

You nod and force your focus back to the book, turning the next page and letting your daughter open and close all the flaps that hide different elements to the story while you read. It's hard to get lost in the simple words and story, but Minnie is used to her routine and by the time you reach the last page, she's leaning heavier into your side.

You place the book on her nightstand, trading it for her sleep headband. She tilts her head forward and you help get the band on and snuggly over her ears.

"How's that feel, Mouse?"

"Quiet," Minnie replies, like she does every night, sliding down under her blankets. Her little hands tug at the band so the sleep mask part is over her eyes. You smile, forever grateful your little one likes to sleep. You wait while she settles, then kiss both of her cheeks.

"Sweet dreams, my little angel."

"Sweet dreams, Mommy," she replies, voice full of sleep. You triple check she's tucked in nice and snug and that Pig is within reach, then turn off the light. You leave the door open a crack, just in case, then return to the living room.

There's a small mess leftover from dinner and you start cleaning that up. Usually, after you put Minnie down for bed, you'd enjoy a few hours of television or catching up on whatever you needed to, but after finishing the dishes, you don't know what to do.

There's only a handful of minutes until the promised call time and all you can do is just stand in the kitchen. You debate going to get a notebook so you can keep notes, but you don't want to have the whole conversation about how you want to move forward over the phone. Maybe you jot down ideas of what you two want to cover in person? Matt might have questions you haven't even thought of yet.

You should find a pen and paper. It's better to be prepared than not. You tell yourself that but you still don't move. You just stare at your phone.

As the seconds creep by your throat starts to get tight.

What are you going to do if he doesn't call?

Would it be awkward to call him instead? Or is that overbearing? You don't want to come off as overbearing - that might make Matt view you in a negative light and that would definitely have consequences in his relationship with Minnie. You desperately want that relationship to be good and not be influenced by any issues the two of you might have. You would hate yourself if the reason Matt didn't want to be around Minnie was you.

The thought makes your stomach twist.

You're definitely not going to call him tonight if he doesn't call you. You can send a text in the morning - something with no pressure.

But he said he preferred calls instead of text.

Would a call be accusatory? You feel like a morning call would be accusatory.

You can push it to the afternoon, that would give him time to call in the morning, as well.

You're ripped from your paranoid thoughts as your phone screen lights up with Matt's name. Shock overtakes your system and it takes a moment before you scramble to answer.

You state your name as your greeting, totally trying to pretend you weren't just spiraling.

"Hey, it's Matt.. Matt Murdock."

His words are soft spoken, on the edge of shy, and it throws you. You understand why his nerves would be rattled but you didn't think he'd advertise that. Your brain screams at you to comfort him and you focus on that instead of your own panic.

"Hey…um, how are you doing?"

Matt chuckles into your ear, low and throaty, making the knot your stomach has become loosen a bit, "Adjusting." He pauses a beat, then adds, "I can't stop thinking about you and Winifred…Minnie."

Your cheeks burn.

You can't tell him you haven't stopped thinking about him either - that feels like a very weird thing to admit, even if it is the truth.

You don't know what to say, so your mouth decides for you, blurting out, "I didn't think you'd call…"

"You didn't…?" The undercurrent of hurt in his voice makes you feel like you've kicked a puppy. You quickly backtrack.

"I have a tendency to overthink and get in my head," you say, hoping you aren't coming off like an idiot. "I worked myself up."

You turn your back to the kitchen counter, then slide down the cabinets until you are sitting on the ground. You bring your knees up, using them to prop up your elbows.

"I'm glad you did call," you admit, asking your mind to please stop, "I'm sorry, this is awkward, can we start over?"

"Of course," Matt's voice is soft in your ear, but you can hear him smiling, "Should I hang up and call back?"

"No, no, not that far back," you practically mumble, biting your lip. "How about…was your meeting okay? Can I ask that or is it attorney - client privilege?"

Matt hums, sounding like he's thinking over the answer, before answering, "No, that's not covered. It was pretty standard for that client - whether that means it went okay is up for interpretation. No one is in jail, so I would consider it a win."

You aren't sure what that means, but you want to be supportive. "That sounds like a win."

"What about you, how was your evening?"

The question makes you laugh a little, only because you think you live a very boring life, "Very quiet and calm. No one ended up in jail on this end either."

"So not a family of trouble makers?" Matt asks, a slight tease in his voice.

You smile into your knees, replying with a shy, "No, I'm afraid we're rather boring. I hope that is okay."

"I think it's a win."

Oh, you forgot how charming he was.

He carries on, voice dropping back to a softer tone, "What does a quiet and calm night mean for the two of you?"

You consider the question with a little smile before answering, "We usually start with a nice walk to the park. Minnie likes to play in the afternoon, there's less kids to hog the see-saw."

"She likes the see-saw?"

"She loves the see-saw," you say, smiling at the memory of your daughter on the playground. "She likes to…bounce? The see-saw lets her go high. She's too small for bounce houses, so she gets her fix where she can." Matt huffs a laugh into your ear and you continue on, "After the park, it's standard toddler afternoon stuff. Dinner and a bath. Playtime and television before bed. I work from home, so I usually get a few hours in before Minnie gets put down for bed. Then, um, more work for me. Or paying bills. Online shopping. Adult things I can do from the couch."

"You work from home?" Matt asks and you can't remember if you had previously mentioned that. Your whole previous conversation is now suddenly a total question mark.

"Yeah, um, I work in billing. The company is in international shipping, so time zones aren't really an issue. As long as I log forty hours a week, I can break it up as I want. It makes being a working mom a lot easier." You nibble your lip, unsure about what to really say, so you say the obvious, "You have your own law firm?"

"I do. You met my partners earlier, Foggy and Karen," he sounds proud, just a little bit, and that warms your heart.

"I read about a few of your cases last night," you admit, "The papers said you help a lot of people."

Matt doesn't respond right away, but when he does, you find yourself smiling more. "We try to. People here are getting by paycheck to paycheck, they can't afford a lawyer when their landlords try to push them out so they can get someone in to pay higher rent. They need someone to fight for them, and this is our community - Foggy and I grew up here. This is our city." He pauses and you can picture him scrunching up his brow, "You said you saw the interview last night. You had time to read over our cases?"

Embarrassment courses through you.

"Only what was in the news and I didn't read in depth. I just…" You shrug, even though you are talking over the phone, "I wanted to make sure it was in Minnie's best interest to reach out." You bite your lip again then, wanting to be honest with Matt, you add, "I mean, we only spent one night together and we didn't really discuss…much. I knew you were a lawyer, but you could have been like…a lawyer for some awful celebrity or something. If you were out there and the papers were saying you were vile I wouldn't have just…shown up at your doorstep. Metaphorically. I only have your work address."

"That makes sense," Matt replies and you have the feeling he really does get it, "you want to keep her safe, to keep both of you safe. I'd do the same in your position. Actually…I guess I do need to do the same, because we don't really know anything about each other." He pauses, then teases, "Unless there's news articles about you I need to catch up on?"

You huff at the thought, "No, nothing that I am aware of."

"Then we will have to do it the old fashion way."

"Lunch." The words tumble out of your mouth and you resist the urge to bang your head against the cabinets. "We, uh, mentioned lunch. We could use that as a starting point? Give each other our People Resumes."

Matt laughs a little and it's warm, not mocking. You still bury your face into your knees.

"People Resumes - I like that. I have some pretty good references, if you need."

"I only have the one," you mumble, keeping your face hidden despite being alone. He laughs again.

"I think it's a pretty good one, though."

That makes you smile, "The best one around."

There's a beat where neither of you talk and you wonder what else to add.

"Will she be coming to lunch?" He asks, voice switching from confident and charming to slightly timid. Once again you are reminded of a kicked puppy and it makes your heart ache.

"I would like that," you start slowly and Matt seems to sense you have more to say, as he waits for you to continue. "I wanted to discuss it with you, first."

"Of course," his reply is so eager. "Anything."

"I was thinking…I think it would be best if Minnie gets to know you first before we tell her who you are. It's been the two of us for so long, I don't know how she'll react to a big change. I can introduce the idea to her over time, start talking to her about family and stuff while you two bond?" As you talk, the words start coming out a little faster as your nerves start to come back. "I think telling her up front might make her uncomfortable because like, you'll have a Title and Authority and that would override other things. I don't want to push her into anything she's not ready for yet."

You press your face into your knees and wait for Matt's reaction. You can hear him breathing and the slight clinking of what sounds like ice in a glass and you hope he understands your concerns.

He says your name so very softly and a shiver goes through you. You dig your teeth into your bottom lip and wait for the ax to fall.

"I think that would be a really good way to do things," Matt practically breathes into the receiver.

You squeeze your eyes shut tightly and relief just washes over you. "I…don't want to scare her." He hesitates, then starts in a stronger voice, "did your articles mention that I grew up in an orphanage?" They did and you say as much. "I was older than a lot of the kids and the little ones were scared of that. Scared of being adopted by strangers. I remember being scared of that. I got placed in a few foster homes and I hated being around people I didn't know." He takes a breath and it's a little shaky, "I want her to want me as her father."

Your heart skips in your chest and you bury your face into your knees more. "I don't think you have anything to worry about, Matt. You have a good heart, that's what matters. You just have to get to know each other, spend time together."

Matt hums softly into your ear, "Not just her, you as well."

"Me?" You ask, confused.

"You," he repeats. "I want to know the mother of my child. Of course I want to get to know you. You're the most important person in her life."

You just hadn't thought of that at all - your concern has been over Minnie. It completely makes sense that he would want to get to know you. He isn't just now in Minnie's life, but in your life.

You chew on your lips in thought, "Is…um.. Is there anything you'd like to know?"

"How about," he says, after a moment of thought, "the equivalent of what you read about me? That way we are on an even footing."

That wasn't the answer you expected but it makes a bit of sense in your head. You think about what you learned in the papers about Matt Murdock.

You start off by saying where you were born then move onto simple facts, "We moved to Long Island when I was about five and I lived there until I was eighteen. I moved into the city for school - Empire State University. I didn't know what I wanted to do so I got a degree in business. I figured I'd have a good foundation with that, you know? I got a pretty decent job in accounting - I'm still there actually. I uh…am a billing administrator…"

"Your parents?" Matt asks tentatively, like he already knows the answer.

"Gone." You say quietly, but firmly. Your parents aren't something you want to talk about and you hope he understands that. "It is just Minnie and I. And now you..."

"And now me…"

You can hear the smile in his voice and it makes you start to smile.

"I have no idea how to be a father," he admits after a beat.

"It's okay, I didn't know how to be a mother. I'm still learning - I've read stuff and some things don't apply to Minnie. Or the opposite, she does something and I can't find anything that applies? And it's not like I'm just gonna drop her on you and disappear. It's…I want you to be comfortable as well? That's why I think just meeting each other will be a good start. We can go from there? Do little hang outs and stuff and build up, if that's what you want," you know you're starting to ramble but you keep going. "I think somewhere she is comfortable would be good? There's a diner in Hell's Kitchen she really likes - we could meet there for lunch? If she gets too overwhelmed, I can give her something to distract her, but you can still interact with her? She's a bit shy around new people and pressuring her to really…um.. engage might be a lot? A big thing for her is parallel play, so I'm hoping maybe just hanging out around you if she's nervous might help until she's more comfortable?"

You close your eyes tightly, a little embarrassed at your dumping of ideas, but Matt takes it all in stride, giving a curious, "What is parallel play?"

You lick your lips before answering, "Being in the same space, but doing your own thing? Like two kids coloring together but not talking."

"Ah, I got it. I didn't know there was an actual name for that." There's another pause and you can hear ice clinking against glass again. You wonder if you should get up off your kitchen floor and get yourself a drink, but you decide against it. The only thing you should be drinking is water. "What is the diner?"

You tell him the name of the diner and to your surprise, he chuckles, "I know the place. It's on the same block as Foggy's parents' butcher shop. She has good taste."

"When she gets fussy and doesn't want to eat anything, it's something I know she'll always eat. She'll have her own booth by the time she's five."

Matt laughs again and you can feel all the anxiety you had before the call bleeding away. He's been open to everything you've had to say so far and there's been no hint of negative feelings.

Maybe things will be okay.

"She can share Foggy's booth," Matt says, no idea your mind keeps trying to freak out over nothing. "We went there for lunch almost every day when we were working out of the shop."

"You worked out of a butcher's shop?" You ask, thinking you must be misinterpreting something.

"We did," he says, sounding a little sheepish, "I took a hiatus from…everything really and Foggy went to work for another firm. While we were reestablishing, his parents graciously allowed us to work out of their shop."

Part of you wants to ask about his hiatus, but the way he says it gives you a feeling you should leave it alone, so you do. You focus on another aspect instead. "So we've been going to the same diner, we just kept missing each other."

It is sobering to say - the father of your child was always right there, but fate let you skirt around each other for years. It hurts to think about, your mind whispering at you if you had just tried harder to look for him, you would have found Matt. If you had just seen him earlier, how different would things be? What if you had been there at the same time, but you just hadn't been paying attention to your surroundings? It isn't like he knew to be on the lookout for a fling from years ago - how would he have even noticed you?

You wonder if he is thinking the same thing - that you probably missed each other because you weren't paying attention.

"Don't do that," your attention is yanked away from your guilt by Matt's strong voice, "I can hear you thinking, blaming yourself."

"Is it that obvious?" You ask quietly, cringing just a little bit. Are you really such a mess he can tell over the phone?

"You said you overthink and work yourself up. You got quiet, so I assumed and I guess I was right. There's no way you could have known and why would you have been looking there?" He sounds so sure you feel guilty over feeling guilty.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. There's nothing to apologize for."

You bite your lip then force your head up and away from your knees. You should get up and get a drink - change how your body is. Maybe it will help in keeping your mood from dipping back down. You take a breath and start to get up.

"Thank you…um.. What day would you want to meet?" You ask, trying to push past the awkwardness and into another direction. You hear him take a drink and decide you do want some water. You start to look around your living space, trying to locate your water bottle.

You spy it across the room in all its rainbow sticker glory and make your way across the room as Matt starts to speak, "I wish I could say tomorrow, but we have to meet with the D.A. tomorrow and I can't miss it. I hate that I can't miss it. But Saturday? Can we meet Saturday?"

You'd have a day to prepare. You would definitely need a day to prepare. "Saturday is perfect. Is 11:30 okay? That's when we try to have lunch."

"That is perfect," Matt replies, mirroring your own. "Saturday at 11:30."

A giddy little shock goes through you - it's not just an idea anymore. Minnie will be meeting her father and he wants to be in her life. He's eager to be in her life.

You never thought that would be the case.

"Saturday at 11:30," you repeat, just to confirm and because you can. It feels good to say.

"I feel like I should dress to impress," he says with a chuckle and you wonder if he is feeling giddy as well.

"I don't think she will care, unless you have a shirt with a cartoon character she likes on it."

There's a few seconds of silence, then Matt's soft curious voice is back, "What characters does she like?"

The question makes you laugh a little because your little girl changes her preferences at the flip of a hat, like any other kid.

"Right now? Scooby Doo and Oscar the Grouch."

"I don't think I have anything with those characters," he says with an amused huff, "but I'll see what I have."

You bite your lip, then let yourself be a bit teasing, "Do you have a lot of graphic tees?"

There's a long moment of quiet before Matt laughs. It's a deep rumble and you find yourself grinning as you grab your water bottle.

"I actually don't know. I don't wear a lot of t-shirts. I think a few have designs on them - at least a few Columbia ones. I wouldn't put it past Foggy to give me something with a cartoon on it, though," he muses.

"I'm sure she will not judge you on your fashion choices," you point out, "She's three and doesn't understand what fashion is. If she did, I would be in trouble."

"Do you have a lot of graphic tees?" Matt asks, throwing the question back at you. It is your turn to laugh.

"I'm the proud owner of many graphic tees. It's practically the only thing in my wardrobe, top wise. The benefits of working from home."

"Unfortunately, court has a dress code. Or so I'm told. I don't think I've ever read it."

"Jury duty has a dress code," you point out, "It was mostly show up clean and not in athletic wear. I didn't get a good look at the lawyers, but I'm pretty sure I remember suits."

"Would you trust a lawyer in a graphic tee?" He asks and you have to pause to think it over.

"Going into their office? I don't think so, unless it was like casual Fridays. But if I met a lawyer in the street on their off day and they had on a graphic tee? I suppose so. Depending on what they are telling me."

"Do you often get your legal advice from random lawyers on the street?" You can practically hear his eyebrows raising up and your cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling.

"Of course not. I get it from Google. I can't afford a lawyer."

That earns you another bark of laughter. "I don't think that will be an issue any longer."

That sets off a little anxiety in your stomach. You don't want to think about needing a lawyer, whether it be Matt as your lawyer or a lawyer against Matt.

He doesn't seem to notice your dip in mood, not that it is particularly obvious, and moves to the next topic.

"Speaking of, I haven't gotten the chance to look at the packet you gave me. It's there anything I need to get done before Saturday?"

You turn your mind away from the thoughts of lawyers and legal battles to something much more manageable: medical history.

"No, no, there's nothing that urgent. It's mostly just medical information - she's got some sensitivities and I want to make sure I'm prepared for anything in the future. The rest is just information for you."

Matt doesn't respond right away and you chance taking a swig of your water.

"Sensitivities…?" There is a thick undercurrent of concern in his voice and you feel a little guilty for making him worry.

"Fabrics and dyes and scents, that kind of thing? I haven't gotten her tested, but certain things just make her itch. Some foods, too. I try to stick to organic stuff and it seems to help a little. It isn't anything major, just a few changes when she lets me know there's something bothering her." You set your water bottle down as you talk, starting to walk around your small living room. "I read it's becoming more common in kids, because all the chemicals and stuff used in everything now. Some of the other moms at daycare have given me tips - laundry soap was the best one."

You are reminded you actually need to do some laundry and as you walk, you grab the various throw blankets littering your apartment.

"I see," Matt says slowly, still sounding concerned. "I actually prefer organic myself, I have some sensitivities as well."

"Any allergies?" You ask. You didn't have any yourself so it has always left you guessing what your little girl might react to.

"No, nothing that I know of. I'm not completely sure about family history, but it is something I can look into."

"I would appreciate it. I'd rather be overly cautious than not have anything," you say casually like you aren't completely obsessive about keeping your daughter healthy.

As you make your way to the bathroom to grab dirty towels, phone between your shoulder and ear, he hums into your ear. "I think that is a good way to do things. I'll try to get the information back to you as soon as possible."

You don't want to chide him, but you can't help but frown a little, "Matt, you don't need to rush. I…was worried you wouldn't be…interested. That is why I put the packet together. I thought you'd want to deal with that instead of going to a doctor's office?"

"I'll go with you to the doctor's," he says instantly, "And I'll fill out the paperwork. It's something I want to do."

You can't argue with that because you would be the same way. Still, you push, "I don't need it by Saturday. Please take your time?"

"Ok," he concedes but it feels like he is only doing so to appease you. But you will take it.

You dump your laundry into the basket stored in the hallway with a little grunt. Almost immediately Matt is saying your name and asking if you are okay.

"Yup, yup, just trying to get some cleaning done while I can. Sorry for doing that in your ear."

"Do you need to go?"

Your heart pangs with guilt at the question. You can feel the disappointment through the phone and you're quickly reassuring him, "No, I'm just picking up a few things, tidying up, you know. I will try to not -"

You are cut off as the door to the bedroom pushes open and Minnie shuffles out. Her headband is pulled down around her neck and she's rubbing at her eyes with one hand, the other limply holding Pig. You only just put her down so you are instantly concerned.

"Mouse? Is everything okay?"

Matt says your name again, "what's going on?"

You ignore him in favor of going to your daughter. She holds up her arms and you scoop her up, cradling her to your chest.

"There's a monster outside," Minnie mumbles, burying her face in your neck.

"There's a monster outside?" You confirm with her, still speaking into your phone.

"A monster?" Matt repeats, clearly confused, as your little one nods against you.

"Okay, let's go check," you tell her, before finally answering the questions coming through the speaker, "Something woke Minnie up. I'm sorry, I do think I need to go now."

"Is everything okay?" Matt sounds worried and something stirs in your chest at his concern.

"It will be, we just need to go tell a monster to go home," you say, gently bouncing Minnie in your arms to soothe her, "Isn't that right, baby? We gotta tell him to go home."

She nods against you again, parroting in a sleepy little voice, "Go home."

You hear some rustling on the other end of the phone, the clicking of a door opening and the rush of wind. Matt must have stepped outside.

"Are you sure?"

His distress is sweet, in a way. You remember being terrified of every little upset when Minnie was a baby, but now you have gotten your groove.

"Yeah, we will be okay. It's just gonna take a bit to get her back to sleep," you say, carrying her into the bedroom. "I'll…um..we'll see you on Saturday? At 11:30?"

"Saturday at 11:30," Matt confirms. "I…" he trails off, then clears his throat. "Have a good rest of your night."

"Good night, Matt."

Minnie mimics you again, mumbling, "Good night, Matt" just as you hang up. You wonder if he heard it, or if it was cut off.

You hope he did.

You drop your phone off on the bedside table and bring Minnie over to the window. You are a few stories up and your bedroom overlooks an alleyway, as most do in the city. You hold your toddler with one arm and carefully unlock the window to open it about halfway. On the windowsill, there is a yellow mini spray bottle, covered in stickers like everything you own - you pick it up and offer it to Minnie.

She takes it, turning her little body to face the window. She aims it at the window screen and squeezes the trigger, sending out a little stream of Monster Repellent.

"Go home, Monster," you say together. She gives another squirt before looking up at you.

"Is it gone?"

"Give him a few minutes and he'll be gone," you promise, taking the spray bottle and putting it back in its spot, "He's gotta pack up his Monster Suitcase before he goes home, but he won't bother you."

She flops her head back down on your shoulder as you turn to bring her back to bed.

"Do you want me to stay until you're asleep?" She makes an affirmative little noise

You start the process of tucking her back into bed with Pig, kissing her forehead before helping to pull up her noise canceling headband.

"Good night, Mouse."

"Good night. I love you, Mommy."

"I love you, too, baby. Sweet dreams."

#soulie writes #fanfiction #matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #daredevil

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selineram3421 · 7 months

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Royally Pissed 👑

Chapter List

Didn't expect to be making one so soon.

Prologue

Part 1

Part 2: Not yet made/in the process

✨Updated every time there is a new chapter✨

Taglist@

@fairyv-ice @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @h-i-g-h-w-a-y-t-o-h-e-l-l-l @arrozyfrijoles23 @i-like-potatoes12533 @alucardsdaddyissues @dasimp777 @nonetheartist @azharyy @wendds @sqphix @montis-posts @killer-nightmare0 @skyxqueen8 @mcntsee @enby-rising @i-like-potatoes12533 @tammyu2 @jailgarden @suezinha @ghostchan29 @rubyxbelle @call-me-nyxx @leximus98 @ashleygryffindor @yourworstgf @slytherin4ever @cannibalcoyote @hxzbinwrites @luzzbuzz @juskonutoh @scaranaris-lil-niko @dni-x @trixie541 @ittoehurt @perkypeony @kyana-chan @zqueenwarrior @darifes @rorusena @sakuraluna2468 @rebelkittyfan @readergirlstuff @sweet06tart @heavensgaymenace @aloraaaxcrystalzx @ittoehurt @lillyinfandoms @simps-for-to-many-people @droopingdatura @baby-bread-in @airwaterearthfire42 @ceafighter @undrgroundtheme @yourmom132 @ladyzaunis @emperatris-rinaka @midorichoco @jennieyeager @yui-onnero @+?

#RP ChL 👑#alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor the radio demon #x reader #the radio demon #gn reader #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel #Morningstar Reader #charlotte morningstar #lucifer morningstar #charlie morningstar #reader looks like lilith #chapter list

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babyawacs · 1 year

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#godzilla_ii didmany things right for that typeofmovie. itis a verytightniche branchspeci fic typeof movie itis good thatit workedout @godzilla @netflix @youtube for all external a udience the one littlemonsterload toomuch was theonly major weakspot else it counts as fas cinating metaphores for nuclear devices and their securitypersonnel or superdooper security p ersonnel nice itisobvious thatthe early godzilla isnotabout japans guilt of colonial w armonstrosities but about the horror of nuclear bomb doom likely formed by their worsthorr or a burned disfigured but barelyalive yet human after a detonatio n ithasbeen a long way that this isnow simply a quitelikeable welll oved for decades type of beast all the best

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theautisticintrovert · 2 years

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Current status. I'm not dead, I just look that way. On lots of steroids and antibiotics right now. #plants #plantsofinstagram #sick #imnotdead #wipedout #livingdeadgirl #zombie #zombiegirl #barelyalive

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gordonthegiggles · 2 years

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aiden2 · 2 months

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How to download Melodic House & Techno 2 (Sample Packs)

In the world of underground dance music, finding the perfect toolkit to enhance your productions can be a game-changer. The "Melodic House & Techno 2" sample pack is a meticulously crafted collection designed to bring your tracks to life, whether you're delving into Techno, Progressive, Deep, or Tech House genres. This comprehensive production toolkit is packed with a vast array of high-quality elements, making it an indispensable resource for any serious music producer.

Discover the Core Elements

"Melodic House & Techno 2" offers a rich palette of sounds, including dark, driving basslines that add depth and energy to your tracks. The hard-hitting beats are designed to keep the dance floor moving, while the key-labeled kick drums ensure your rhythm section is always in tune. The pack also features beautifully crafted analogue synth loops and hits, providing a lush, warm texture that can elevate your productions to new heights.

Versatile and Flexible

This sample library isn't just about loops and hits; it's a complete music production resource. Alongside the cutting-edge audio samples, you'll find MIDI files that correspond with the bass and synth loops, offering you maximum flexibility to customize and tweak your sounds. Additionally, the pack includes presets for popular synthesizers such as Spire and Sylenth1, allowing you to seamlessly integrate these sounds into your existing setup.

Enhance Your Skills

As with all Sample Tools by Cr2 packs, "Melodic House & Techno 2" goes beyond just providing sounds. Included are three prod-cast video tutorials that walk you through the techniques used in the pack, giving you valuable insights into the production process. Moreover, the pack features a video by Mike Monday, a renowned expert in the psychology of music production. In this video, Mike delves into the neuroscience and psychology of creativity, offering strategies to boost your studio productivity and overcome creative blocks.

Comprehensive Toolkit

This production toolkit is designed with the dance floor in mind, ensuring you have everything you need to produce professional-sounding tracks. The pack contains:

573.4 MB of Content

328 Total Audio Files

58 Total MIDI Files

10 Bass Hits & 20 Bass Loops

20 Claps, 20 Hats, 20 Kicks (Key Labeled), 20 Percs, 20 Snares

10 Drum Loops (52 Including Stems)

20 FX & 40 MIDI Files

20 Spire Presets & 12 Sylenth Presets

20 Synth Hits & 20 Synth Loops

5 Construction Kits (Containing 328 Audio Files & 58 MIDI Files)

4 Vox Samples

3 Prod-Cast Video Tutorials

1 Mike Monday Studio Productivity Video

1 Budi Voogt Art of Pitching Video

1 Production Booklet with Tips & Tricks from the Producer

Elevate Your Productions

Whether you're an experienced producer or just starting, "Melodic House & Techno 2" provides the tools you need to take your music to the next level. With its comprehensive range of samples, MIDI files, presets, and tutorials, this pack is designed to inspire creativity and enhance your production skills. Don't miss out on this essential resource for creating professional, dance floor-ready tracks.

Download "Melodic House & Techno 2" from Sale on Plugins and start making music that moves people.

#BarelyAlive #Dubstep #SamplePack #MusicProduction #DownloadNow

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phuckingphil · 2 years

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Barelyalive

#barelyalive #nsd #photo dump

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delightfullife · 4 years

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This is the begining of the history. There's some magic in life that we can't see, it's just a feeling.

#living #lovenpeace #barelyalive

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brujademente · 5 years

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💊Born to survive💊 #me #barelyalive #instagirls #girlswithseptum #wavyhair #curlyhair https://www.instagram.com/p/B1HJrk0pOc6/?igshid=43ohsjly6p04

#me #barelyalive #instagirls #girlswithseptum #wavyhair #curlyhair

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jazjelspen · 6 months

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my angel baby (part 7)

alastor w/ angel daughter reader

(note: the reader’s first day at the Hazbin Hotel!! Wishing her the best of luck!…)

(tags: @wildfire153 @nevermorekisses @corvidae-00 @des-deswain5621 @thekanrojimitsuri2 @mo-0-o @pooplyface1423 @insomniacfigure @potaturkey17 @just-here-reading @avitute @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @1potato2rulethemall @sirenetheblogger @krak-jj @kiraisastay )

my editorrr: @kruncher

Laid beneath the heavy hotel sheets and warm blanket provided by your room, was you.

You would twist and turn under the covers, as if trapped in an upcoming dream that was meant to either haunt or kiss you with kindness and love yet despite this of course your slumber would soon be interrupted by the loudness of a few rows of knocks.

At first it awakened you slightly, your eyes barely opening but your mind not completely conscious.

But just as your eyes were about to close again to go back to sleep there was another set of incredibly loud knocks to which this time got your brain to finally react.

Your arms slowly brought your body up in a sit-up position, uncovering yourself from the sheets to get your legs over and off the bed, feet now snuggling in some cozy slippers.

Your nightwear was simple but comfortable, fitting exactly all your right preferences and into your favorite colors and/or patterns. It seemed to slightly resemble pj's from the more modern times but with your own 30s twist on it for nostalgia.

You would've ignored the knocks and stayed in bed longer, but you were never much of a sloth in heaven so you got up as you usually would.. yet somehow you were even more sleepier and tired down here.

Turning on a single lamp just to brighten up the room you slowly moved up to the door and opened it immediately-- not the safest move but here you were.

Opening it up you encountered yet again that damned face.

"Hel--!" you closed the door on the visitor, you were not in the mood to talk to him while he was acting all bright and loud at your front door like some sort of overzealous salesman.

But he wouldn't leave until he got to finish what to say, you knew that very well from him.

'Just see what he wants and get it over with.. the faster you deal with him the quicker he'll be away..'

With a reluctant sigh, you opened once more.

"--lo!" you let him finish his single word greeting before you crossed your arms with attitude, not exactly thrilled about this.

"What do you want, can't you see I am sleeping?.."

Alastor cackled lightly, "Sleeping? Oh dear then you must be sleep walking right now!"

"I…wha..” Your eyes squinted in confusion, barely understanding what the hell he’s saying with how slow your brain was processing all this “You know what- I'm not in the mood to play games with you right now so what exactly do you want..”

“Oh darling stop acting so harshly, I’m just here to tell you to come down and eat! You missed breakfast with everyone and you know how the princess wants you to meet the rest of the residents properly!..” he paused, then went back with a slightly ominous tone “-it doesn’t seem like your setting a good first impression on yourself my dear.”

You tensed up, knowing that to some extent he could be right— and you really wanted to get back home soon after the fight..

You sighed, “I’ll go down when I want to and when I think I'm ready— and do you ever leave people alone? I constantly ask you to fuck off and you just don’t.”

His grin widened, it irked you more “No dear, I don’t.”

“...Noted.” And for the last time you slammed the door in front of his face again and you locked it with no intent to open it a third time for him if he knocked again.. which luckily for you he didn't.

Turning your heel you then proceeded to drop down on the bed and lay flat on your back.

"Please.." you mumbled, your eyes and chest heavy, "Please.. help me get through this and get back home safely.."

Although.. Alastor behind the door wasn’t exactly thrilled. After all, you told your own father to walk away and bite the curb.

He began grumbling under his breath, your disrespect really starting to claw at him.

“Who in the world would tell their own father who raised them himself to ‘fuck off’.. where did I fail in raising this wretched girl..” yet a part of him knew he couldn’t blame you, you had much good reason to act this way.. but he always preffered to be the one in the right.

If he wasn’t so desperate to try to regain your respect, admiration, and acceptance he would’ve held the door opened and had his shadow scare the absolute soul out of you as to teach you a lesson—

But he knows that will only drive you away even more, so he bit his tongue.

------------------------------------------------

You rushed downstairs with your shoes clicking every step of the way, dusting yourself off and fixing your halo as you went down the stairs.

Reaching the end you turned your head to the left where the seating area was, the right to see a space of nothing. Both ways were quiet, no signs of life you could hear or see at the moment

"Hm.." taking a few cautious steps forward to continue to eye your surroundings, becoming a little nervous that maybe you took much longer to get ready than you initially thought.

"Hello?.." Your voice echoed and bounced across the large spaces inside the hotel, light vaguely shining from the glass windows and doors that lead as the main entrance and exit of the building. The air floating several dots of small dust against the light and the silence could almost be deafening--

until you walked a bit further into the middle of the place.

"New here?" A low and deep voice cut through the empty sound, booming from a turquoise green environment that seemed to be dressed up as a bar.

The bar looked a bit out of place compared to the rest of the red color schemes of the hotel, not only does the green and blue hues make it pop more but it seems as if it was ripped right out of a building and placed in there.

You turned and faced the direction of the voice-- although weary you really wanted to find the princess to apologize for your oversleeping.

Walking towards the voice you noticed that it was a dark brown cat with silver fur, a hat, bowtie, a unique set of wings, and a calm scowl on his face. He seemed to be leaning against the bar and cleaning a glass with a small towel. He seemed to be looking at you and referencing you as well.

"Oh! Hello mister!.." you walked up to the bar hastily, giving him a very small wave as you came up "You know where I could find her highness?.. I need to apologize for coming down here late..!"

The anthropomorphic cat shrugged his shoulders as he then went to place the now clean glass in his hands down and bring up another one and start cleaning that too. His eyes going from you to the actions he's doing "For all I know she's probably up in her room preparing her next 'lesson plan'. Other than that, I know shit to nothing."

You felt slightly discouraged as you looked off to the side "Well.. then, I suppose I just have to wait?" you asked, your brows furrowing in concern and eyes widening in a sort of 'doe' way. Not like you were trying to, it was just part of your look.

"I wouldn't know, stay here, stay there, stay anywhere. Not like it matters."

There was a pause, you thought that maybe this could be a good time to ask some questions and get an idea of how things work here. "May I stay here for a bit? If you don't mind?.. "

And with a second shrug of his shoulders, he said "Be my guest."

"Thank you.." you pulled out one of the bar stools in front of the bartender and sat on one of them with your arms leaning against the bar table and awkwardly just sitting there-- until you spoke up again.

"Sooo.." you started, the bartender looking up at you almost disinterested "How are you.. sir?.."

Another slight pause, he replies "Who cares, and just call me Husk it saves the more words you would have to say."

"O--kay!.. well uhm.. sir- Husk!" you leaned against the bar table yourself to try to start making proper conversation.

"So.. after all this-- you know the fight between Heaven and Hell.. I'm planning to go home ri--"

"Yeah yeah, what about it?" he interrupted you, your impression of him not really turning out very well.

"Uh.. so.. what I'm trying to ask is- how do I survive this place till I get to go back home? Any ways to avoid trouble or maybe at least not come off bad to the rest of the residents?.."

Husk took a moment staring at his glass that he was cleaning, seeing as he now had a new customer who needed advice from this experienced bartender. He would calmly set down his towel before responding,

"Coming off bad is the least of your problems down here, to survive you must avoid sticking out like a sore thumb.. which doesn't exactly seem like an option for you since you look like a fuckin' glowstick."

Your shoulders perked up in slight embarrassment, barely recognizing that somehow you seemed to faintly glow against the dark colors and shadows of your environments since you've been down here.

"But you also must make sure to connect to the right people, and avoid making deals with sinners that only want to drag you through the mud for their own benefit."

That part seemed to peak your interest a bit.. "Avoid and connect.. who would you recommend for those two things?.. is there anyone in particular I should shy away from?"

"I would say stay an arm's length away from everyone in hell, even in the hotel." He seemed to be looking down under his bar table, reaching for something.

"Not all of us are bad but it's more of a chance for you to get back home unscathed. Besides that, the Princess would be a good person to befriend."

"Hmm.. " you hummed in thought, feeling a bit curious about wanting to know if Alastor is someone to be wary of here. You already knew that he wasn't someone good to stick with but needing the opinions of others would help and set you at ease.

"Well.. should I stay away from the red deer man?--"

"Stay away from him at all costs." Husk's voice seemed to raise in volume slightly as he unintentionally slammed a bottle of juice down on the table.

Oh..well that made you jump slightly.

"That demon you seem to be referring to, is Alastor, he isn't someone to be taken lightly. An overlord like him shouldn't be dealt with in any way.."

"Wait.. What's an overlord, mister?.."

"..It's someone who's gained power down here for centuries, dealing with souls and owning many of them gives you that kind of status.." there was a bit of a somber expression on his face as he then went to pour the liquid in the glass in front of him.

"Alastor is one that you should stay away from, at all costs. That sadistic fuck only kills and kills for fun and manipulates those for their souls," He then pushed the glass lightly at your hands that were resting on the table, gliding across the wood only to lightly bump into you. Your hands themselves are a bit too shocked to even move at the moment.

"I can't imagine what he would want with yours but considering your own status.. wouldn't be surprised if he took an interest in you."

'I guess I was right,' you thought 'he's still as sick in the head as he was before..'

you wanted to tear up, you weren't quite sure why.

maybe you hoped that he wasn't as bad as you remembered.

that maybe you exaggerated.

that your memory failed you.

that for your sake, he somehow changed, that he learned his lesson down here.

instead he thrived, thrived and overcame, took over and is now an 'overlord'..

he only got worse and played into his sick fantasies and killed more than you could imagine for his own benefit.

you bit your lip lightly as if trying to hold something back, hold your disappointment in.

"So.. is it fair to say he is a bit famous for being a merciless killer?.."

"Basically it."

'as if it couldn't get any worse.'

Husk seemed to notice your conflicting expressions, since he seemed to sound a bit more gentle this time. "Look, kid, this whole thing will be some kind of culture shock. But just stay away from him and others similar, you're only asking for trouble if you do."

You were in fact, just a kid.

Maybe not one by definition, mentally you're not the same as the day you died, but inside you're still a little girl somehow. Scared and frightened, weary of the world--

a girl who needs her god-forsaken father.

but he isn't worth it.

since he's become who he truly was, and belongs right where he is.

"Follow that, and you'll get home just fine." and just like that Husk backed away to go work at the back of the bar to leave you with your thoughts, assuming that perhaps the full realization of the dangers in hell and how close they are could be infecting your brain.

Letting you take a minute to breathe, you finally looked down at the glass below your chin on the table.

It was a cup of a colorful liquid, you held the cup and put it up your nose to smell if there was alcohol.

None at all.

Your brows raised a bit in intrigue, maybe just the fact that you were an angel or seemed a bit young gave him the idea to give you anything that wasn't alcohol..

He seems like a good bartender.

You brought the drink up to your lips to quench that subtle thirst you had, the flavor of the drink tasted just as good as it would have in heaven or in life.

"Heyy Huskyy!" a new unique voice exclaimed from your right hand side, the noises of the bar chair moving in and out made you stiffen slightly.

Husk turned only to aggressively point a finger at the new person beside you. "Do not call me that yo--"

"Yeah yeah, anyway could you give me something fun with a bit of a kick to it?"

The cat rolled his eyes as he proceeded to grab a clean cup to mix something similar up to what this guest wanted. "Why? Finally something good happened to you for once?"

"Basically yeah, I got no shoots to do today due to Val's car breaking down and the guys he hired got kidnapped by a gang so I don't have to see my boss's bald head all fuckin' day! You know how amazing that is??"

You took a moment to move your head slightly to take a peak at this new person, surprisingly they seemed to look back at you too.. eyes widening slightly in the process.

It was a tall and slim guy that dressed rather provocatively, had fur that seemed soft to the touch and the extra arms and eyes seemed to give you an idea that he was a kind of spider sinner, his color scheme full of soft and hot pinks. A rather interesting individual to say the least..

"Say.. aren't you the angel gal that Charlie won't shut up over? You're much prettier than I thought you'd be."

"Lay off her Angel, the kid's got enough on her plate as it is."

"Now now whiskers, I haven't even gotten to introduce myself!-" he then proceeded to take out one of his four gloved hands towards you, waiting for you to shake it.

"The names Angel Dust toots, famous pornstar in all of hell!" he bragged, exclaiming proudly and seemingly posing as well.

Wait..

That Angel Dust?

The sinner that Charlie presented as her evidence of the hotel?

"Hey.. I.. think I know you.." you mumbled, your head turning slightly and slowly shaking his hand back while in a sort of an ‘awe’ trance.

Angel Dust chuckled a bit, a tint of awkwardness behind it. "Sweetheart!.. you seem too young to be watching my work!.."

"I.. no nononono! not like that!--" you shook your hands in panic, eyes widening in shock as you tried your best to get your words out. "I meant as in I've seen you before when Princess Charlie was presenting her evidence to the court in heaven!.. "

"Oh? Now this is new.." Angel leaned against the bar table yet his whole body faced you as he spoke to you. "Charlie hasn't told me about this yet.."

"Yes!.. you seemed to be developing quite well in reaching heaven! Of course there's some.. issues I see there are with both places so I'm unsure how it's going exactly but!.." you smiled more fondly at him, a genuine expression with a sense of hopeful pride for him "You seem to be making amazing progress!.. genuinely, I think if you keep it up.. you'll make it just fine!"

Angel's eyes warmed up a bit, his expression changing into one in which it feels almost bittersweet. "Pfft, kid you and your ideas are cute but it's too late for m--"

A sudden poof of a shadow solidified into none other than of course, that demon of a formal man.

"Greetings! I see we're all mingling in vibrant conversation here."

You held back the biggest urge to let out the loudest sigh in all your afterlife.

'Where's the princess when you need her..'

—----------------------------------------------

It was an early evening in New Orleans, and Alastor had some business to attend to.

Unfortunately, he didn't have anyone to look after you and he wasn't willing to leave you alone at home even if you were only thirteen years of age.

Your adolescent years were the years in which Alastor knew he would fear the most. He knew that the youth of today like to frolic in hobbies and places that are considered taboo and absolutely prohibited.. not like he was one to judge he's been a serial killer for almost decades at this point.

Nonetheless, he didn't need you to get any ideas to misbehave while he was gone. Even if you were one of the most well-behaving children in the world he knew that even the smallest of thoughts can plant seeds of defiance in the mind.

He would rather not risk anything.

"Hurry now _____! We can't be any minute late now! Remember, punctuality is good character!" He exclaimed from the exit of your shared house while holding your jacket and thick scarf in his hands and his own on his back, the small thuds and clicks of shoes against the wooden floor rushing out of your room and through the halls that connected every other room in the home.

"I'm here, father!.. I'm here!" you scrambled up as you fixed yourself up by straightening your outfit and dusting yourself off.

"Good girl, now remember darling we're going to be in a place where only adults belong." He spoke as he would then be putting your coat on for you, with you helping out by sticking your arms out in the process of it all.

"Young impressionable girls such as yourself should never ever be in places like those until you're of age, the only reason why I'm even taking you with me is because I can't bear the thought of leaving you alone while there's a wild killer on the loose!" He would straighten your jacket for you, wrap your scarf around your neck and tuck it in to keep you warm, make sure your gloves were set right and as the cherry on top would then pet your head gently with care.

"I can't have my one and only daughter out for the slaughter now can I?" Real funny Al... "Just keep in mind, don't talk to anyone while walking through there, well anyone that isn't your.. aunt."

You nodded enthusiastically, a tingle of excitement swelling in your chest in finally seeing such a place! Even being in there would make you feel like a cool grown up!.. like getting a small glance at the forbidden fruit of Eden.

"Yes yes, of course father!"

"Good good, now hop to it!"

Cheering as he opened the door for you to exit first, soon after he exited and locked the door behind him. He would continue to lead the way through there.

It was a very cold winter this year, as if it was threatening to snow at any moment yet never did. Cold winds would blow in your faces causing you to sneeze a few times but nothing major. Alastor seemed perfectly unaffected by the weather, nothing but calm and content with his permanent smile on his face. You held up your own smile as well.

The walk was quiet with small chatter between the two of you here in there, mostly your father asking you if you were okay and how he's going to make sure to brew up some warm stew when you both come back home.

It wasn't too much of a walk, most clubs were nearby due to how high demand they are but father always forbid you to ever go in them let alone peek inside, but since he will be around and has given you permission to see the forbidden, the air that hit you only ended up feeling like a chill of excitement instead.

You two finally arrived at the entrance, jazz music booming against the doors only heightened your senses even more.

Alastor looked at you from over his shoulder, "Behind me dear, keep your hands to yourself, don't talk to strangers, don't accept anything from strangers, and if anything happens just scream for me and I'll assist you.. oh and don't get far, stay behind and close at all times so I don't lose you." You could've sworn you've heard these rules many times even in public places that weren't clubs, but you simply nodded and obeyed.

Now that you properly noticed, he seemed to be dressed rather more sophisticated than usual. You would usually see him dressed this way for nights out and you could even smell that specific cologne he would put on when visiting jazz clubs in town so it does make sense but.. why was he wearing his work coat and not his going-out coat?... Maybe it wasn't anything but, you knew how calculated your father was to an extent.

He knocked on the door, when it was opened a tall man was seen through the crack. Alastor mumbled something to the man and the door widened further, seemingly accepting the two of you with just a few simple words from your father.

You two walked in and you stayed close to him as you were told, yet your eyes were widened and wandering around like birds in the wild.

Your brain was trying to absorb all the colors, noises, and smells all at once-- the smell of alcohol, cigarettes and cigars weren't pleasant in the slightest but the sweet and tangy scents of women's perfume and men's cologne were a treat to your nose.

It was surprisingly much warmer inside, aside from all the people here you also assumed that the collective body heat, sweat, and breaths made the room much more manageable than the winter streets.

People were on either side of the room eating, drinking, chatting to their heart's content while the others danced their souls out and listened to jazz with pure enthusiasm and joy you have only ever seen at those parties your father has taken you before.

Cheering, yelling, laughing, and talking were amongst one of the noises you heard aside from the music blasting across the room.

The various colors of women's dresses, heels, make up, and accessories had every color of the rainbow while men's suits would mostly be muted or monochrome at best, but there were few specks of color amongst the men at times.

"Whoa.." your throat couldn't help but show your amazement for all that was around. A twinge of amazement growing and growing each step of the way.

You two stopped in front of a large bar, Alastor stopped to talk to the bartender before pausing and looking back at you to continue following him. He seemed a bit peeved from that short interaction.

'Dad says he had business with someone here.. does it have to do with auntie?'..'

A huff of air escaped through your nostrils while you followed closely, saying a few 'excuse me miss/mister' here in there while passing by. Many people noticed you but didn't bother, or others didn't even acknowledge you due to them being caught up in their own world.

You two walked to the very back of the club where the band was playing their hearts out, you seemed to have walked behind the stage where the decorative curtains hid behind the stage and covered where the magic is made. It was much darker compared to the brightly lit place, there seemed to be a short hall of several backstage rooms, more specifically dressing rooms for singers or performers.

You two stopped yet again but at the entrance of one of the rooms, you smiled when your dad then started knocking on it twice. After all, it had the name 'Mimzy' plastered in bold.

The door was opened with slight caution but soon opened wide when the voice inside realized who it was that knocked on her door, "Alastor! Sweetie, doll face! Didn't expect you to visit me so soon, come in! And-- oh! My, do my eyes deceive me--"

Your smile only widened further when you finally felt the warmth of two familiar arms, the scent of, what the ladies would call 'Chanel No.5' basically slapped you in the face along with the smell of cigarettes and tobacco- even the feathers in her hair made your nose tickle but you didn't mind, since it was none other than!--

"Auntie Mimzy!!"

"______ dear! Why it's so good to see your little self again, look you've grown so much since the last time I've seen you!"

You giggled at her claim, "But auntie! You saw me only two weeks ago!"

She gasped, her hand over her mouth as if surprised "Oh my goodness! You've got to be kiddin' me! You've grown sooo much in just two weeks! What does your father even feed you huh?"

You giggled along with her before Alastor cleared his throat to catch the attention of the only girls in the hall.

"Why Mimzy dear, I absolutely hate to interrupt your ladies talk but I fear that there's some business you and I must discuss quickly?"

"Oh! Right!.." Mimzy then went to hold your hand gently, the sound of her heels clicked as she tugged you inside the dressing room "Come in dear, I have a few treats I've been given by a few admirers, so you can have some chocolate or cake while I talk to your daddy, does that sound good sweetheart?"

You nodded enthusiastically, almost jumping in excitement after hearing that. "Mhm mhm! Thank you sosososo much auntie! You're the best!!"

"Of course sweetheart, they are all on the vanity." She would then release your hand while you rushed towards the opened heart box full of deserts, you looked at them with such delight before you picked out your favorite and dug in.

Your father and auntie then walked out of the room, but before they closed the door Alastor only said one thing to you "We're right behind the door, if you need anything we're simply going to be here talking okay?"

"O-kay!" you spoke while eating the treats of your choice.

Although..

Gosh... you knew you weren't supposed to but--

'wait.. why couldn't they talk while I'm here?.. maybe it's adult business but- I'm grown enough to at least talk around!..' you frowned slightly while munching. You took your last bite before you took a moment to just sit there in thought..

'maybe just-- just for one second..? it shouldn't be anything bad.. im grown enough to hear this I'm sure..' you then decided to just take slow and quiet steps towards the door of the dressing room, hearing the two hushed voices seemingly quarreling calmly.. but it was still a bit tough to hear everything coherently so you could only try to make out what words they were saying with your ear pressed against the door.

all you could hear is your father say these few broken words:

"mimzy..... my friend.... is all... give...."

Mimzy replied with something along the lines of:

"....great help...but.....really it?.....wont help me any....."

He responded in a bit of a-- snarky tone?.. it was too faint to fully comprehend but you did hear him say:

"......won't risk.... for you...... my daughter...... care of it yourself......"

'Huh?' you thought, a bit concerned 'why am I mentioned.. what about me?..'

There was a sudden pause before you heard more muffled talking but you stopped focusing on what they were saying when you realized that the door knob started jiggling.

Uh oh.. guess they finished a bit sooner than anticipated!

'Oh fu-'

The door widened a bit harshly by Mimzy, she seemed much upset this time herself but at least they both came with a smile.. her's more forced.

Thank goodness you were fast enough to have sprinted and hopped on the chair in front of your aunt's before they could've seen you eavesdrop on them first.

"Well my dear, let's get back home now! All I needed to do was to talk about something important with Mimzy, let's get started on that stew now so you won't catch a cold so soon!"

You nodded sheepishly as you waved at Auntie Mimzy, she seemed a bit too upset to properly acknowledge you at first but she would soon shine back a brighter smile than before and then pet your head quickly. "Bye bye dearie! Don't forget to give your father a hard time at some point! A bit of rebellion is good for the soul!..”

You just smiled as you brightly before rushing towards Alastor, who seemed unimpressed. He turned his back towards the exit with you following behind and exiting yourself, closing the door behind him carefully before putting said hand behind your shoulders to lead you outside the establishment.

Your head almost turned back to where you were before due to the sudden distant noises of glass breaking and high pitched squeals of anger pounding against the door that held them back, Alastor kept your head forward from looking behind.

A few minutes later, you two were now outside the club. The inside was just the same as it was when you first walked in. As the door closed behind the two of you Alastor took a moment to just stand there, you followed what he did.

He simply looked forward with an almost blank smile, until his chin slowly looked down at you. It brightened, warmed up, his glasses glistening with his eyes even for just a moment.. a glistening that was only empty from his eyes if he wasn't looking at his pride of joy.

You looked up at him and smiled back warmly, innocent yet fearless.

His few words to you before you two finally walked home couldn't help but make you wrap his arms around his torso into a strong hug, and his arms around your shoulders and caressed your hair that he took care of each morning of every day.

"I will never let anything hurt a single hair on your head, my little dove."

He will protect you from all that threatens to linger, shelter you from the evil world for as long as he can.. for as long as he lives.

And keep you as oblivious as you can possibly be.

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