#BONUS POINTS: maybe he's the one guy I actually make the most OBVIOUSLY trans in my roster

[linskywords]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to five other writers! 💗

Have you done this yet? If you haven't, you should! If you want!

Top five! Oh man that's so hard. Through great self-restraint I have narrowed it down to these five:

Burn Our Fingers and Change Our Names (Hockey. Bennguin. 44K. Werewolf AU, but not if you ask Tyler.) Ah, the wolfverse, my beloved. I could have chosen five just from there, but I went with this one because I think the pining is the most delicious. Also who can resist this level of cluelessness from Tyler?

Like You Have a Secret (Hockey. 1988. 34K. Kaner is a girl who disguises herself as a guy to join the NHL. Aka the She's the Man AU.) Outdated at this point in that no one in the story seems to consider the possibility of trans people, but still one of the most fun stories I've ever written, and also one of my favorite versions of Kaner. If I ever decide to take a hockey story and file off the serial numbers and try to sell it, this will be a candidate (with some major updates).

I Feel Like I've Been Locked Up Tight (Hockey. Bennguin. 34K. Jamie's a virgin who keeps falling hard for the wrong people.) This is the closest I've come to writing about my own demisexuality. This one's for everyone who can't figure out why they can't just date and hook up like everyone else seems to. (Turns out there are a lot of us in fandom!) It was like pulling teeth to get this one written and I'm so glad I persevered; it feels hard-won and honest to me.

Just to Break My Own Fall (Hockey. 1988. 9K. Kaner decides to move out of Trump Tower). This one is sort of a deep cut, but it feels like the other half of my own history of romantic anguish: the tendency to fall for friends and to learn to live with it but some times are harder than others. It's ostensibly about Kaner selling his condo and really about yearning for what you're not sure you'll ever get to have.

Someone Else's Solid Ground (Hockey. TK/Patty. 22K. Nolan struggles with gender.) This is the first really serious exploration of gender I've ever written. I always feel weird writing those, because I identify as cis, but also they speak to me in some way that maybe should make me reexamine that identification at some point. This one was prompted, for Yuletide, and I probably wouldn't have written anything like it otherwise, but it ended up feeling really powerful in a way I didn't expect.

Those are all pretty old--the most recent is from 2020--and I think that's because those stories feel "vetted" to me: I wrote them long enough ago that I could have stopped caring about them but I didn't. As a bonus, here are my top five from the past four years:

Where You Lead (Hockey. Jack/Nico. 42K. BDSM AU where there are no subs in the NHL, so Jack obviously isn't one.) It was a tossup between this and the sequel; I love them both dearly. This one really started something for me. I have at least three more stories I need to write in this 'verse now, and I doubt it'll stop there.

Wanna Love You in the Daylight (Hockey. Mitch/Auston. 107K. Wolfverse.) Again, probably arbitrary to call this my favorite of the recent wolfverse stories, but I reread it a while back and was just so happy with how it held up. It's the longest thing I've ever written, and very different in its pov character from most of my longer stories (Mitch might actually be...emotionally competent??), which makes it feel singular.

Don't Want You Like a Best Friend (Hockey. JD/TZ. 10K. Jamie doesn't understand that hooking up with Trevor might mean he's into guys.) Haha speaking of emotional competence: Jamie doesn't have it. This one was just a delight. Jamie's conversation with Rico makes me giggle looking back on it. This is one of those stories you're almost sad to have written because you want the experience of writing it again, over and over.

So Hey, Let's Be Friends (Hockey. Quinn/Brady. 4K. Brady has Quinn's name on his arm, but Quinn doesn't have Brady's.) I don't know that this is anyone else's favorite of mine, but it was an experiment for me -- can I write a whole pining journey in 4K? -- and I was so pleased with how it turned out. It's not perfect, but it felt almost miraculous to me.

The Jaws That Snatch (Scholomance. El/Orion but mostly a "what happens next" after Last Graduate. 5K.) Partially because I'm smug about getting the thing about [redacted] right, but mostly because it had people asking in the comments if I was sure I wasn't Naomi Novik. I'm carving those comments in stone, so I can be buried with them.

[honeysucklethornsandalligtrhorns]

dear lord. TW for mentions of transphobia and related topics.

My mom told me that she wanted to watch a documentary with me, one that she had been hearing a lot about. She said it featured a man who's name she couldn't remember, going all over the country asking people what a woman was. And shockingly, people were so rude to him! He just wanted to know what a woman was. And apparently it was very controversial. for context, I am closeted and genderfluid, though biologically female.

Hearing this, I assumed it would be something interesting; maybe something about how women are perceived, how the idea of a 'real' or 'proper' woman has changed over the centuries/millennia, maybe a dash here and there about societal norms, social constructs, etc.. I expected maybe a bit about trans women as well- nothing negative, just a discussion on womanhood etc., what they as trans women believed alluded to being a woman, since trans women are women, yet they have a different experience with womanhood from cis women.

The documentary turned out to be "What Is A Woman" by Matt Walsh. I quickly realized that oh, this was going to be NOTHING like what I hoped for. Just from watching the trailer and reading the descriptive language in the summary made it clear that this guy wasn't looking for a deconstruction of gender as a whole. The amount of misgendering in this film was appalling, first of all, and I noticed inconsistencies within how he acted on the documentary and how he appeared on things like Dr. Phil.

In this documentary, throughout most of it he seemed to take on the stance of 'guy trying to ask an innocent question sets off liberals and feminists'. He uses humor and the use of a 'calm and collected' attitude to appear like the bigger, correct person. But he seemed especially aggressive in the clip of the Dr. Phil episode he showed, not a man who 'just wants to know the truth', but a man with strong opinions and no respect for the people he was conversing with- a theme I noticed in the interviews as well.

Obviously, I could go over the many poor comparisons he made, such as 'what if I told you I was a black man' etc.. I could also point out that he seemed oh so confused when he was called an asshole at the women's march, even though he was told several times to go away, he visibly made people uncomfortable, and even brought a megaphone to shout at people.

Instead, I raise a counterpoint; what is a man? And, more importantly, why do you give a shit? And yes, again, I could go on about how in this documentary and in conservative media in general, they're extremely fond of describing puberty blockers as 'pumping our kids full of drugs/hormones'. So he could argue that he cares because of the children. But the fact that there's loads and loads of proof that trans kids who don't get proper care will and have committed self harm/suicide? Heck, looking at the bigger picture outside of gender... if it really was all about the children, wouldn't he also be making documentaries about the hundreds of other ways that kids are being harmed by our society?? School shootings, poor healthcare, poor/no access to mental health services, the rise of mental health issues as a whole, etc..

But nope, it's all about the leftists 'carving up' kids.

I will admit, I still have to do some of my own research on a few topics mentioned, like the bit about John Money etc.. But overall, I gotta say that I was not a fan of this documentary. Bonus- I doubt he got consent from the tiktokers featured in the film to actually use/show their tiktoks.

Anyways, trans women are women, and trans men are men. <3 love y'all, sorry this was so long. i have a lot to say on the topic.

[aevapollo]

As I Am

My entry for the @trans-mages exchange week, my gift for @wellbelesbian. I hope you enjoy it!

My prompt was: Non-binary Baz, perhaps experimenting with pronouns and presentation and feeling affirmed by Simon and his friends.

(The title is from this quote from Carry On: "I just wanted to tell you that I’m going to carry on. As I am." -Baz)

Read it on AO3 or continue here!

Baz

Simon looks peaceful, looking up at the sun like that. Blissfully unaware of my fidgeting hands. I think about what he said just now--what he said about the vampire hotel, how happy and natural I seemed. The worst part is, he’s not wrong. Obviously, I didn’t want to stay there. That would’ve been a nightmare. But there was something about that night… I think it made me see myself in a way I never had before. That night, I got to be the gayest, sparkliest vampire there ever was. I got to be the most me I’ve ever been, and I liked it. Shit, I loved it.

I dunno. I’ve always been something less-than-masculine, much to my father’s chagrin. All those times I let my hair get just a little too long, whenever I wore a shirt that was just a bit too silky… he always had some carefully selected words. I never cared much for what he said about me. My goal back then was to push the limits of what he’d allow, but… maybe now that I’m with Simon, things will be different. Maybe I can finally be an adult about it and communicate. I could make up for all those years of repressed emotions.

Here goes nothing.

“Hey, Simon?”

“Hmmm?” He turns his head back to me but barely opens his eyes.

“ I-I need to tell you about something. And I don’t want to make you more stressed than you already are, or-or anything like that. So don’t feel like you need to understand me or act differently around me or feel--”

“--Baz, are you okay?” Simon cuts me off. He’d opened his eyes now, and seemed concerned.

I take a shaky breath. “Listen, I- I’m- I don’t really know if I’m totally… a guy. Like, I don’t think I want to be a girl, but what if I’m… neither? What if I’m non-binary, or something… like… that?” It all comes out in one big waterfall of words. Crowley, I hate feeling so out of control like this.

Simon’s brow is knotted. He’s thinking. “Alright, so non-binary… do you want to use different pronouns? And I shouldn’t call you ‘boyfriend’ anymore, right?”

“I...yeah. Yeah, exactly. I have wanted to try out they/them pronouns, if you don’t mind…”

“Of course I don’t mind. Baz, I-- you know I’d love you no matter what, right? I won’t stop just because you’re not a boy. Christ, I still don’t know if I’m gay or what, but I know I love you.”

He loves me. He said he loves me, that’s the first time he’s actually said it. The tears are coming. For once I don’t try to stop them or even hide my face. Simon pulls me into a hug, and I just melt into his arms. Somehow, nothing is wrong anymore now that I’m here.

***

I knew I would tell Simon first, and maybe I should leave it at that, but I just want to get this off my chest as soon as possible. After a while of being disgustingly vulnerable with him, I make my way back up to the house and onto the balcony. Shepard is here, too. Might as well kill two birds with one stone.

Deep breath. “Hey. Um. Can I say something? I’m fairly sure I’m non-binary, and I’d like to try out they/them pronouns for a bit.” The words are coming out much easier the second time around.

Bunce’s eyes light up. “You are?! Oh, I’m so glad you told me! Wait, wait, I think I just saw an article about this the other day… some American celebrity who came out as non-binary? Hang on, I can find it real quick--”

“--That’s fine, but I appreciate it. Really,” I can’t help smiling at her excitement. Somehow this whole “coming out” thing has sapped me of all my sarcasm.

“Cool. I know some non-binary folks. Have you got a new name, or are you still going by Baz?”

“I’m still Baz, thanks.” Shepard hardly looks surprised, and I can’t say I blame him. I haven’t exactly been trying to act straight since we’ve known each other.

Just then, Wellbelove slides the balcony door open, looking anxious. I prepare myself to give the speech again, but she speaks first. “Hey, Baz, I’m sorry if you didn’t want me to know anything yet but I… Well, I heard everything. The doors aren’t exactly soundproof. Still, I’m happy for you.” She manages a nervous smile.

“No, no, it’s alright. Makes things that much easier on me.” Everything happened so quickly. I’m not sure how I feel about Wellbelove finding out, but it was bound to happen eventually. I guess it’s good that she knows now, even if we’re not exactly close friends. Maybe that’s another thing I should work on, now that I’ve decided to be an adult. I could leave all these weird grudges in the past.

***

Later, Simon comes back inside and we all eat dinner in relative silence. It’s less like a family meal and more like the casual school dining halls we’re all accustomed to (except for Shepard, I suppose. Or maybe he had something similar). Wellbelove has been looking at me weirdly since she found out. I know she said she was happy for me, but I can’t help but worry about what she really thinks. I try to focus on Shepard spilling barbeque sauce everywhere.

Simon leans over to me. “Hey, Baz, I was wondering… does this mean you would want to wear different clothes? Or, like, makeup or something?”

I had expected questions like this. “Well, yeah, I have wanted to try wearing a skirt. Just to see if I like it, I mean.”

To my surprise, Wellbelove speaks up again. Maybe I was wrong. Perhaps she’s also attempting to mend our strange relationship.

“I’ve got some skirts that you could try on. If you want to, that is. I… don’t wear them much, anyway.”

“I--yeah, that would be really nice. You’re sure?”

She nods and stands up. I hesitantly follow her into an (unnecessarily posh, even by my standards) bedroom and can barely take in the surroundings before she shoves an armful of skirt in my face.

I crane my neck over the pile of fabric. “Um. Thank you, really. You didn’t have to do this, but…”

She looks down. “No, I wanted to. You know, I’ve been kind of questioning myself as well, but I didn’t want to say anything about it until I was sure,” she lowers her voice, “and at this point maybe I never will be. But this is the least I can do, right?” She offers another half-smile, and I do my best to return it.

“Well, that’s… thank you. Again. And you can talk to me about it. If you want to, of course. I… It might be nice to have someone to relate to.” I’m not sure if I’m reassuring her or myself at this point. Wellbelove seems to understand, and brightens up a bit.

“No, thank you. And you can keep the skirts if you want. I don’t think they suit me.”

She leaves me to sift through the pile. I eventually land on a possibility: it’s a deep forest green, smooth and swirly. When I hold it against my waist, it comes down just above my knees. Part of me feels like I shouldn’t be holding this; like nothing I do will ever turn me into the person I see myself as. But part of me also thinks skirts are fun, and that’s good enough for me. Nothing left to do but try it on.

I look in the mirror and-- Crowley, not again. I’m starting to cry again. It’s just a skirt, but-- well, something about this just makes me feel… different. A good different. More like myself.

Okay, take some deep breaths. I dry my eyes and stand up straight, twirling around a bit. I’m smiling like an idiot now, but I don’t mind. This is the happiest I’ve been for a long time.

I grab the doorknob and throw the door open, shamelessly strutting out and modeling the skirt for everyone. I hardly ever get to be myself like this, and I’m going to enjoy it if it’s the last thing I do.

Everyone’s looking at me. Everyone’s looking at me. Stay calm. Wellbelove is beaming, though she’s trying to hide behind her hands. Shepard just grins and gives me a thumbs-up. Simon’s face is bright red (can’t say I don’t enjoy that), and Bunce puts her hands in front of her mouth and squeals.

“Baz!! You look so good! The color really suits you!”

“Thank you,” I can’t control my smile at this point, “I--” Wait. I have an idea. My mother’s scarf--it’s still folded up in my shirt pocket. I unfold it and tie it around my hair, just like how she used to wear it. Simon’s regained his senses by now and gives me a small smile. I wonder what my mother would say if she could see me now.

Simon gets up and pulls me into a hug. I hug him back, and any apprehension I had fades away. Something about this is familiar; much as we used to hate each other, seeing Simon at Watford always felt like more of a home than my “real” family ever did. Now it’s still the same: I’m at home wherever he is. Nobody can tell me who to be anymore.

***

Bonus:

Simon

Baz looks so good in a skirt. Of course, they do. They look good in everything. Still… something about the way they carry themselves now, how comfortable they look… this is more meaningful. I can’t pretend to know how they feel, or what they’re going through, but I do love them. I’m finally brave enough to say it.

As I pull Baz into a hug, I whisper it into their ear once again: “I love you. So much.”

They squeeze me tighter and return with an “I love you too. Even if your hair smells like barbeque smoke.”

Thank you for reading! This is the first fic I’ve ever published so hopefully I did good haha

This was like… wAYY longer than I planned to write but in my defense, this prompt was lovely and I just wanted there to be more. #noregrets this was very fun and I hope it’s fun for others as well :)

Also, I planned to post this earlier today but..... my laptop died and then I had to catch a flight. And then I thought "you know what would be a great idea? Writing a bonus section!!" ...so r.i.p. my schedule I guess ://

[tf2hcs]

can i get uhhhhhhh.. trans merc head canons?? maybe found family?? thanks!

you can DEFINITELY get trans merc headcanons. comin up hot. i have so many headcanons pertaining to the mercs being trans that i can’t fit them into one post, so i’m just gonna do stuff related to transitioning here, and if you wanna hear about how i think they realized they’re trans or came out, ill do a post about that too

Soldier:

you know how cis people think that you have dysphoria ur whole life and then you get The Surgery (The Surgery) and it all goes away that very day? and that’s just. it? solider is the only person on earth for whom that holds true

he has rod-insert phalloplasty and double incision top surgery

Jane Doe is actually his real birth name, it doesn’t give him dysphoria so he just kept it

his phalloplasty used his arm as the donor site, so he’s got a patch of pinkish skin on his left arm

he transitioned pretty early on, maybe in his early twenties. he’s known he’s trans since he was a kid

shaving gives him INTENSE gender euphoria

Scout:

he just went on T and boy is he excited

he runs in his binder (dumb) and frequently binds with bandages (dumb), so he has at least one deformed rib. twinsies 

like as SOON as he finds out medic is trans he asks for top surgery & gets it. he gets periareolar top surgery

when medic explains to him that periareolar top surgery keeps nipple sensation intact but double incision doesn’t he immediately starts calling the other mercs “numb-nips”

“it’s my shot day someone come stab me in the așs”

he didn’t choose his own name, his mom chose it for him when he came out. if he chose it it would’ve CLEARLY been tommy, as a tribute to tom jones

Medic:

double incision top surgery

i know this is wildly unrealistic but it’s tf2 so i will claim it. medic gave himself top surgery and instead of giving himself nipple grafts he just like, carved a smiley face and star of david on there

he knows the most about trans health and history out of all the mercs (partially because he’s old, partially because he’s a doctor, partially because he’s more involved in the community than the others)

because of this the other mercs come to him for help with trans issues a lot

he wants to have a baby biologically SO bad. so so bad. i think i get this headcanon from how lovingly he holds that baboon baby in the comics

he works really hard to preserve his fertility throughout his transition and as he gets older. he doesn’t end up being able to have a baby until he’s in his 50s but he’s so happy when he does

i could go off about my dad medic headcanons for hours but ill save that for another post if u guys request

Demo:

double incision top surgery for this guy too

talks about being trans all the time (every time i watch meet the demo and he says “i got a manky eye, i’m a black scottish cyclops” i mentally add transgender to the list)

constantly jokes about how he “blew it off” (you know what “it” is)

he has relatively bad dysphoria his entire life, but being open about it really helps

he doesn’t even know soldier is trans until he asks about the skin graft on his arm. he sees him use his rod implant and he just accepts that that’s how penises work

you know how being skilled with explosives runs in the degroot family?? my personal headcanon is that transness is also genetic to the degroots. both of demo’s parents were trans. ill talk about this more in another post if u guys want

Heavy:

no top surgery, his chest is a little large compared to a cis guy’s but his overall size makes it look more normal

if he ever does get top surgery, though, he gets inverted T/anchor incision

he has PCOS. he got a hysterectomy when medic was rooting around in there for the first time and noticed the cysts (”there will be so much more room in here once we get rid of your uterus!!” “room for what?” “…oh, you know”)

i think he might get full meta?? (as in metoidioplasty) i cant decide if he’d want a vaginectomy though. help me decide

Spy:

double incision top surgery. he paid top dollar for it, it’s very nicely done

he refers to his top surgery as a “mastectomy” (which is the correct term but like, who says that)

he gave birth to scout. he was pregnant when he met scout’s mom, and after he gave birth to scout he ended up leaving him with her. i cant decide if it was more of a “can you please take my baby” situation or a “im going to the store to get milk” situation. either way though i don’t think scout’s mom would’ve objected to keeping him, he was an adorable baby

he owns so many packers. he gets them custom made. he has them displayed in his closet like designer wigs

Sniper:

no surgery at all! he never plans on getting it either. that’s why he has the vest

his chest is like, small and somewhat muscular. you guys have seen skinny trans men with muscle tîtty before i don’t have to explain this to you

actually i want you to take this discord screenshot. i said this last thursday

he’s one of the most obviously trans mercs because he just insists on dressing like he based his outfit off the wikihow article for how to pass as male

i can say a lot more about my trans hcs for sniper in another post but im trying to keep this one at a readable length (failed step one)

Engineer:

no top surgery!

i think he has simple meta or maybe full meta without a vaginectomy (*epic rap battles of history voice* you decide)

he transitioned much later in life than the other mercs, his transition only actually started like five years ago

Pyro:

they’re agender!!

AFAB with no surgery or HRT

they use they/them pronouns or alternating he/she (”he’s not here, is she?”)

there’s not much to say about pyro’s gender! they just don’t have one

OH HOLY SHIT DO THE MERCS THROW THEM A GENDER REVEAL PARTY

ASKFLDLJSDKFLJDSFLKSDJFDLSKFJLSK

BONUS

Miss Pauling:

you know how when some trans women start hrt, they get really bad cravings for pickles? miss p has that like hell

she eats a hot pickle in her car every single day. it gets to the point where the people who work the graveyard shift at mcdonalds remember her (she has a habit of ordering “a fry container full of pickle slices”)

she takes estrogen but she doesn’t have any surgery! i dont think she ever gets any

scout very nervously explains to her that he’s trans at one point and all she can do is blink and say “did you think i was cis”

thank you for taking this journey with me. now imagine how long this list would’ve been if i didn’t narrow it down

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 Episode 19: “I’m So Sorry!”

You know, considering how apprehensive I was going into this episode since I knew what it was going to cover, I gotta give them credit for how by the end of it I actually really liked the little things they did to flesh out this part of the story, even if they only had so much time to work with.

I think this is gonna be a divisive episode for a lot of reasons, including the fact that some manga fans might not like that they toned down the comedy [relatively speaking] and fleshed out the character interactions more, but one way or another I think they did a nice job with it.

Anyway, thoughts under the cut [and spoiler warning for the whole manga]

I didn’t expect this episode to give me a whole lot to talk about [in terms of positive stuff, at least] since Ritsu’s intro arc was always kinda short and simple, but they actually made a fair amount of edits to how the whole episode played out. It’s still the same length and covers the same basic plot beats, but with a different sort of execution compared to the manga.

Specifically this adapts chapters 44 and 45 of the manga, though technically Ritsu first appears at the very end of chapter 43. And there was a fair amount of stuff that was cut or replaced in this episode, mainly the couple of scenes with Yuki and Haru that were there to follow up on what happened in chapter 43. Since that hasn’t happened yet in the anime, obviously it had to be cut. I think we’ll be seeing that whole part of the story happen near the start of season 2 at this point, since they definitely don’t seem to be planning to introduce Rin in this season. So in that sense at least this episode played out similarly to how it did in the 2001 anime [where Ritsu’s intro was in episode 23]. But there was also a lot of stuff changed outside of that, which made this more of an entirely unique version of this part of the story.

Basically most of it boils down to how they edited the whole flow of events to give Mitsuru [and her interactions with Ritsu] way more screen-time and focus, which I think was exactly what this episode needed. In the manga their interaction in this whole part is literally just contained to one page worth of dialogue at the very end, and it only vaguely sets up the idea that they might have stuff in common. And for the record, at least in the manga, that’s also basically the only time they ever interact in the story to begin with. After this I don’t think we ever see them again at all outside of one bonus comic page that, at least in the collector’s edition, is compiled at the back of the final volume along with some other bonus material. Both Mitsuru and Ritsu kinda vanish from the manga after this point, and then right near the end we suddenly get told that they’re dating and it’s all just kinda weird and unexpected.

Maybe it’s just the writer in me who likes nerding out about this kinda stuff, but I thought it was really neat how elegantly they managed to incorporate Mitsuru into how almost all of this episode, and how they used some of the scenes from the manga that they cut as inspiration for the more original scenes here. Like how the scene with Ritsu freaking out about cereal and spilling milk everywhere got replaced with him spilling coffee on Shigure’s manuscript. I also liked how instead of having a scene near the end with Tohru and Ritsu talking in private, we got to see Ritsu and Mitsuru talking about the same sorta stuff.

The other really big change, which lead to how they could more or less cut out that one scene between Tohru and Ritsu, was how they heavily fleshed out the scene with Ritsu about to jump off Shigure’s roof by basically inserting his whole talk with Tohru into it, which I think worked surprisingly well. Some manga fans might dislike how it made the scene less comedy-focused, but I think it worked well. I did think it was kinda unintentionally funny how it reminded me that Tohru keeps finding new and exciting ways to fall off, or nearly fall off, dangerously high places, lmao.

I’ve seen some people say that it felt too over the top and melodramatic in a way that made Tohru feel too much like an unrealistically perfect therapist, but honestly that’s just kinda how this part of the story always felt. Tohru’s whole conversation with Ritsu about the meaning of life and whatnot always felt like the part where Tohru’s place in the story felt the most forced. But with the amount of characters the premise of this series demands introducing, it’s commendable that most of the parts where Tohru basically serves as the Soma family therapist don’t feel this way.

It probably doesn’t help that the reboot shuffled this around in the timeline so that it’s right in the middle of two other arcs about Tohru meeting a new Soma family member. This episode coming immediately after one as good as Kisa’s episode really set it up for failure in a lot of ways, lol. But ultimately I think it was a good idea to move this where they did. It makes sense that they’re trying to rearrange things so that all of the zodiac members except for Kureno and Rin get introduced before the end of season 1, and this is the best place in the season to put this episode. I think it at least works a lot better here than it did in the 2001 anime where it happened literally right before the Kyo arc, right near the end of the season, which was just a really awkward place to put it all around.

In terms of other stuff that got changed/removed from the manga, they cut out a whole bit with Hatori getting called over to bandage Tohru’s hand after Ritsu broke a cup and she ended up getting cut, though honestly I’d kinda forgotten about that whole scene so I didn’t even notice it was gone. And along those same lines, I guess they also cut out the minor detail of Ritsu spraining his ankle on the roof and it having to also get treated by Hatori, since they had Tohru have a much more dramatic fall on the roof instead.

Like I said, basically every single scene with Mitsuru was anime-original since in the manga she only really appeared in that final scene, and even that got fleshed out a fair bit in this episode, so that we actually got to see them becoming friends, and they both had the same sorta monologue to tie everything together. Which did a way better job than the manga ever did at setting up their relationship, lol. It’s still kinda forced, but it’s not the gaping void of nothingness that it was originally.

Another thing they changed, which I didn’t even notice until I checked the manga again afterward, was that Ritsu was wearing his kimono throughout this entire episode, whereas in the manga he switches to wearing a more masculine outfit immediately after Tohru finds out that he’s a guy. It honestly felt so natural to have him just keep wearing the same outfit the whole way through that I didn’t think anything of it.

Which finally gets us to the elephant in the room, the hornet’s nest, the can of worms, the grand king of controversy, that is Ritsu’s crossdressing.

I definitely think it felt a lot better in this version of events specifically because they at least let him still wear his kimono and his feminine hairstyle even after the ““““gender reveal twist”“““ without it being some sorta issue, but ultimately the way it’s handled still feels notably dated, and I definitely think there’s gonna be a lot of entirely new fans who immediately view him as being heavily trans-coded. Since he really is.

I feel like this should be fairly self-explanatory, but just to be completely clear, this isn’t a matter of “wearing feminine clothing must mean you’re a girl”. This is more specifically about how Ritsu’s crossdressing is framed completely differently to how characters like Momiji and Ayame crossdress. They just do it explicitly because they’re carefree and self-confident and don’t care what people think about them, and it’s not a particularly major or defining part of who they are as a character. But with Ritsu, it ultimately ends up being one of his defining points as a character if only because this is basically all we ever see of him, and the story goes to pretty great lengths to detail how his motivations for cross-dressing come from an entirely different sort of place. Instead of him doing it because he’s naturally confident enough to not care about societal judgment, he does it because it’s the only thing that *makes him* feel confident in himself at all. It’s shown as being pretty much the one and only thing that alleviates his crippling self-hatred. In particular I think the flashback to him trying on one of Kagura’s dresses as a child and having a moment of realization and euphoria really feels like a distinctly Trans Experience [tm] kinda thing. Not to mention the other flashbacks to how he felt ashamed of himself because his parents were constantly apologizing to other people because of how he is, which comes across even more strongly as being specifically tied to his gender expression since at least in the anime, he’s also wearing a dress in that flashback.

It’s also worth noting that in the manga they placed a fair bit of emphasis, especially in his big talk with Tohru, about how he basically ‘wants to pull himself together and stop needing to dress like a woman’, as if it’s some sort of emotional crutch he needs to move on from, and it seems like that basically got cut out. Which is for the better, I’d say. I’ve said before in relation to Momiji that I also disliked there how [in the long run] his own crossdressing is treated as something temporary that he’ll inevitably move on from, and it stuck out even more in the manga when we also got this whole part later which even more explicitly framed cross-dressing as a ‘phase’ that someone needed to move on from. I guess in a lot of ways it really says a lot about the subtly yet meaningfully different way Ritsu’s framed in the reboot, that he just continues wearing his kimono throughout the whole episode and nobody really talks about it after Tohru finds out he’s a guy. I much prefer this more neutral framing of ‘this is just how he dresses and that’s cool’ more than ‘this is something he needs to stop doing in order to grow up’.

It all still feels a little bit outdated even in this version of the story, but I think it would have been even more noticeably outdated and uncomfortable if they had kept all of that stuff from the manga too. So I’m glad they cut it out. They did technically add an original bit near the end with Mitsuru realizing that Ritsu isn’t actually a woman, but I think that was handled perfectly well. Her reaction was basically just ‘oh I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made assumptions like that’, and him freaking out about it was basically just treated as him getting unnecessarily apologetic for something that isn’t a problem at all. Interestingly enough, I think that little scene between them was at least vaguely inspired by that aforementioned bonus comic page about them.

It’s obvious that it’s not like the reboot’s gonna retcon it so that he’s trans now, but I much prefer this take on his crossdressing compared to the manga.

I’m kinda curious to see if they’re going to do more with him as a character after this in the reboot, since Takaya’s said before that his lack of screen-time and importance is one of her big regrets. Though it’s honestly kinda hard to think of where they could even fit him in, aside from maybe the summer vacation arc. Ultimately he kinda suffers from not really being connected to any of the other zodiac characters, which makes him the odd one out who’s difficult to insert into scenes. I think they could probably at least do something with his apparent friendship with Kagura, though, since that never really got elaborated on in the manga.

I’ve always wondered if him getting sidelined after his intro arc in the manga had anything to do with the fact that his arc was the exact point where Takaya’s hand injury caused the series to go on hiatus. It’s not like we’ll ever know one way or another, but I wonder if the fact that his introduction happened to coincide with such a stressful and draining part of her life made her want to basically ignore him as a character afterward to try and forget about all of that. But who knows.

I do have a feeling that the fact that they edited and fleshed out this episode a fair bit compared to the manga might be because Takaya wasn’t happy with what she did with this arc originally, which probably had a lot to do with her hand issues. It might have lead to her not being able to put as much care and thought into this arc in the manga as she would have liked, so she might have even given the anime staff some pointers on how she wanted it to be improved.

Anyway, that’s a lot more than I expected to say about this episode, lmao. All in all I liked it way more than I expected, and I hope they can find some sorta way to give Ritsu more screen-time than he got in the manga.

And as we basically all knew would happen, it looks like next week’s episode will be Hiro’s introduction. I’m kinda curious to see how that goes, since Hiro’s the sorta character who I think is well written for who he’s meant to be, but it doesn’t stop me from kinda hating him as a person, lmao. At least to the extent that you can hate a preteen kid for being annoying and bratty.

[timeisacephalopod]

Rewards Points

Remember that YouTube AU I wrote with Peter Q/ Stephen/ Tony? Well I liked it so I’m writing more of it. So this is more of that (also if you want to find the first you can locate it under YouTube AU and also IronStarQuill).

Tony considers the empty spot beside him and Peter is doing the same. “Have we ever done a video without Stephen?” he asks eventually. 

He shakes his head, “pretty sure we haven’t. How do we start this?”

“Why are we even confused? He never starts these things, most of our videos are us talking,” Peter points out.

Its true for the most part but Stephen always has something to say and now Tony is confused without his presence. “Maybe we should wait until he’s back,” he says,

Peter considers it, he can see Peter consider it, but he eventually shakes his head. “Nah, he’d be pissed we didn’t stick to the schedule. You know how he is.” Shit does he ever, Stephen is a damn stickler for being on time and schedule. It works for Peter, who’s usually under a time crunch on set, but Tony has never liked being on time or on schedule. He makes his own times and schedules and everyone else works around him.

“How is it possible that none of our schedules have ever conflicted with these videos before?” he asks. That simply isn’t possible- Peter’s jobs might be always up in the air, but Stephen and Tony travel consistently for their jobs. Especially him.

“We do dark weeks when none of us are going to be around,” Peter says. “Which usually means only one of us is around. Its just weird luck that two of us are here and Stephen is off doing doctor things. I think, I didn’t really ask,” Peter says.

“He’s giving a talk on spines or something like that, I have a hard time keeping up,” he admits.

Peter looks instantly relieved. “Jesus, I thought I was the only one. I mean you’re a genius and all that and Stephen can go on for hours if you let him.”

That’s an understatement but yeah, Tony has a hard time keeping up with language he doesn’t understand. He spends a lot of time looking up the terms Stephen uses on the fly but none of it seems to stick in his mind. Biology is not the kind of science he finds interesting unless it involves technology somehow. “Yeah, I don’t really care about spine things. I mean I care that Stephen cares but I don’t really know anything about it,” he says.

They sit awkwardly for a long moment before Peter speaks up. “What was this video supposed to be about?” he asks, defaulting to wrangling duties, Tony supposes.

“You pissing off studios because you thought it was funny,” he says. It’s a topic Stephen wouldn’t have much to contribute to anyways, hence them choosing it over other topics of interest. Like people’s weird need to know about Stephen and Peter’s early feud that Tony didn’t know existed but apparently got pretty vicious until they decided maybe they weren’t each other’s enemy. Tony doesn’t know if his total lack of knowledge of this means Peter and Stephen were subtle or if he’s completely dense but he’s leaning towards dense. Neither Stephen nor Peter know anything of subtlety.

“Right, yes,” Peter says. “So anyone who watches these things probably keeps up with me or Tony so you’ve probably already seen that trailer that nearly got me fired from my own fucking movie- like literally I wrote it, I’m directing it, and I’m one of the producers too, how the hell were they going to fire me? Okay I mean it can happen but given the response the trailer got I didn’t get fired,” Peter says.

Tony shakes his head because none of Peter’s fretting made any sense when his job was on the potential chopping block. “What the hell was the problem anyways? You soft of freaked out about maybe being fired but you didn’t actually say why.”

Peter sighs, “alright- so some background. No one wanted to do a movie about a gay guy who’s gayness was kind of irrelevant to the actual story for one- guess people don’t understand that being gay isn’t usually the only important thing about a person. So that was a strike against me. Then the problem was that no one big enough was attached to it so I asked Tony to do me a favor considering he had a lot in common with the character anyways so that saved my ass for five minutes. Then it turned out the kid that was cast as his son is trans, not like I knew that because I don’t make a habit of telling people to whip it out in auditions, so that was a thing,” he says, making a face. 

“Whatever. So when people stopped yelling about that they basically told me I was supposed to sell the story based on Tony’s fanbase but I didn’t want to do that so instead of making the reveal in the trailer that Tony is in it, I had the guys who cut the trailer stick him in less than thirty seconds into it and let the damn story sell itself. So that caused a whole new round of problems but people’s response to it was basically ‘wow, he didn’t use Tony Stark as his selling point, the story looks good!’ And that’s how I managed to keep my job,” he says.

“Not to be like... ungrateful or anything, but my fanbase is either a bunch of lovely human beings or the kind of guys who watch Fight Club and want to start a fight club. There’s no in between, and the guys who’d want to start a fight club would be pissed about the gay thing because dating two guys still doesn’t make me gay. I mean they’re kind of right, I’m bisexual but still, I’m not straight.” God knows he hates the half of his fanbase that thinks the time he spent drinking too much and acting like a complete jackass was a good way to live life but he can’t exactly do much about it now. Sure, he’s expressed plenty of distaste towards people who are like that, but no one seems content to listen.

Peter snorts, “oh my god, sidenote- one time Stephen and I looked you up. Can’t remember why but this was back before we stopped hating each other so we were probably looking for some kind of evidence that you loved one of us more than the other. Anyway, so we came across this entire blog that was dedicated to talking about how you ruined yourself by being too ‘PC’, and that dating Stephen and I was for ‘PC’ points. You know what, looking back on it I think that’s the first time Stephen and I bonded because we both thought it was hilarious that a real human being would genuinely think that you’d date someone just to be politically correct,” he says.

Tony lets out a long, drawn out sigh because this is the kind of shit he hates. “Yeah, obviously I date people to be politically correct. Bonus points because Stephen isn’t white,” he says sarcastically. 

“I think Stephen’s personality strips all those bonus points. I love him but he’s a total dickhead. I think I should earn more bonus points,” Peter says.

“None of you are earning any points, I’m not a points reward card, you can’t redeem your points at my non-existent cash register. If I were to award points though Stephen gets points for being a freakishly good kisser and you get points for being better at cuddling than Stephen,” he says. Stephen isn’t meant to cuddle, he gets home and if you touch him he literally growls until he’s slept for a few hours. Then he expects attention until he gets sick of it. Sort of like a cat.

Peter nods, “I’m not even mad about it, Stephen is a freakishly good kisser. I mean usually kissing is more a means to an end for me but Stephen makes it a whole show. Honestly I feel like a fucking golden retriever next to that,” he says, shaking his head.

Yeah, Peter has a lot less skill but so does Tony so its not like he can judge. “Ok. Stephen is a good kisser, that’s established. Back to you almost getting fired,” he says, preforming the necessary wrangling duties.

“Right! So yeah, anyways I also got into an argument about the kid, what’s his name?” he asks Tony.

“Peter,” he says. Kid is smart too, Tony likes him.

“Yeah, Peter. Eventually I got annoyed enough that I told them we keep the kid or I walk, which means you walk, which also takes your portion of the funding and they can have fun unkilling a dead project they all like now because you got involved. Needless to say I won,” Peter says.

Tony raises an eyebrow, “you did all that for some random unknown actor?” he asks, surprised.

Peter shrugs, “no one knew who I was either at one point. Then my fuckface dad almost ruined it for me when people did finally start to pay attention. Anyways, point is you and the kid have chemistry, I’m not recasting because I didn’t ask what junk looked like during auditions. That’s weird, invasive, and also technically discriminatory. Seriously though, the screen tests will not be the same with anyone else. If I didn’t know better I’d think he was your actual kid, you two work amazingly together and you actually produce good improv. Improv is hard,” he says but Tony doesn’t really know. He’s improvised near everything in his life so he’s gotten good at it. And the kid has talent and he’s fun to work with, Tony likes his memes.

“Pretty sure it wouldn’t actually matter, I’m good with him because I like kids, not because I like him specifically. I mean in two years he’ll be bitter and sad because the world is shit and seems intent on crushing people to death but you know. He’s fun now, while he still has hope and child-like wonder and all that.” Tony hopes he’ll be able to keep that bright light of wonder and happiness but he knows that’s probably never going to happen. Kid is different and the world has always punished anyone who doesn’t fit the status quo.

“Whatever, I don’t care if you like kids, I’m not replacing the kid I got for stupid reasons,” he says. “He’s fucking adorable and you two get along well, it’ll look good on camera. Less work as a director for me that way.”

Tony snorts because yeah, there’s the real reason Peter fought to keep mini Peter around- less work for him.

“Has it occurred to you that you forgot the name of an actor that has the same name as you?” Tony asks.

Peter shrugs, “I’m the best Peter so I don’t remember any of the others,” he says and Tony starts laughing.

*

Stephen ends up being called in to work before he even gets home, which Tony wonders about because jet leg is a bitch, but when he does finally venture home he sleeps for a stupid amount of time before wandering into the kitchen. He recognizes his own voice- ugh- and Peter’s and frowns until he finally clues in to Stephen watching the video he and Peter did without him. It got a surprisingly high hit count and a huge amount of positivity neither of them had been expecting. They hadn’t even realized why Peter’s name was suddenly trending on Twitter until they looked through the reactions.

Seems people were pleased that Peter stood up for younger trans Peter even though none of them seemed to have clued into the fact that Peter only did it to save himself directing trouble later.

“Peter gets too much credit as an ally, he only kept mini Peter because he didn’t want to try and coach chemistry out of another random teen that’s genetically dissimilar to you,” Stephen mumbles, trudging towards the coffee. His eyes are glued to it like its going to save him from jet leg and being extra tired after a shift at the hospital.

“Oh my god, genetics do weird things sometimes and Peter looks like his movie mother, Stephen, so shut up!” Peter yells from the living room.

“His features are still genetically unlikely, you should have recast,” Stephen yells back.

“No, I don’t want to find another kid who looks that good with Tony on camera. Mini Peter is good, I don’t give a shit about genetics!” Peter yells to him.

Stephen mumbles something under his breath as he pours his coffee. “Next people are going to accuse him of dating us for PC points,” he mutters.

“That’s already happened. Also how come no one accuses you of doing that?” he asks.

“Because minorities don’t usually scramble for PC points, we’re born with them. Don’t look at me like that, I think its stupid too. Also I think Peter’s bad self insert movie about the father he wished he had with a kid that could pass as his is sad and depressing, but also creepy because he cast his boyfriend as his metaphorical dad,” Stephen mumbles. He takes a drink of his coffee just as Peter enters the room.

He obviously hears the last bit of that because he goes from looking ready to fight Stephen on genetics to disgusted in ten seconds flat. “Oh my god, how dare- I did not, Tony isn’t- He is not my father!” Peter says, horrified.

Tony shakes his head, “no, no I am not and Stephen you need to stop that. I’m not playing the role of Peter’s dad.”

“Are so. You’re officially his daddy,” Stephen says, grinning as Peter and Tony both start gagging.

“I have too many daddy issues for this shit,” Tony mumbles, gagging again. “Please tell me this isn’t actually a story about the father you wished you had,” he says to Peter.

Peter is still gagging to his left, looking so disgusted he’s about to cry. “It is, but Stephen had to fucking make it weird, I didn’t even make that connection until he made it for me.”

Tony shakes his head. “No, absolutely not, I’m leaving you both and going back to Pepper and getting no PC points for it,” he says, wrinkling his entire face is disgust.

“Well, she’s a woman running a very successful company- technically your company- so I think you get a half a PC point for that,” Stephen tells him, smiling pleasantly like he’s happy that he’s permanently ruined Tony’s relationship with Peter.

“You did this on purpose!” Peter accuses. “You know how many daddy issues Tony and I have and you totally weaponized it!”

Stephen continues drinking his coffee. “I’d like to point out that I’m clearly the superior partner because I’ve never made you my father. Though, to be fair you look nothing like him even if you’re the same height,” he says.

“Fuck you, Stephen,” Peter tells him. “I thought you got over the jealousy thing.” He pouts, giving Tony puppy eyes but he can’t look Peter in the eye right now. Or maybe ever again.

“Sure I am, but I like making you squirm and also I do find it very strange that you cast Tony as your pseudo father. Just saying, I think maybe you have more issues than you think,” Stephen tells Peter.

Peter sits down on the ground before flopping over and curling into a ball. “I hate you and my life,” he mumbles.

“Stop whining, at least you aren’t my dad!” Tony tells him.

“You aren’t my dad either, you just had a lot in common with the character!” Peter says. “Stephen only made it weird because he sucks.”

“I only pointed out the obvious,” Stephen corrects.

Tony lets out a long groan because this is going to be a painful process. Peter seems to feel the same way but Stephen, the asshole, looks utterly pleased with himself.

“Also,” Stephen adds, “next time I would actually like if you waited for me to return to do a video.”

Peter and Tony flip him off but Stephen looks utterly unrepentant.

[alwayslateornever]

strikercorbie replied to your photoset

What the flying fuck is this??

I’m assuming you read the tags, so lets start from the beginning.  This got long fast so under a read more it goes~

A coworker “E” invited me to join her husband, sister, and son on a new dnd campaign.  They’ve played dnd for years, gone through multiple campaigns, most of them with her husband “R” being the dm.  I chose a Firbolg as my first character, a giant soft boy named Fig raised by dwarven monks in a brewery.  He was scared and not born to fighting.  He was also trans, which I didn’t tell R. 

(I was going to work actual white into his outfit later, but it should be obvious his color scheme is based on the trans flag)

Right out the gate (literally less than 5 minutes into the campaign) R makes a quip about how one of the female player characters was extremely hot and that the two men of the part (Fig and a dwarven cleric) are showing obvious interest.  in their pants.  

(please imagine the literal pain I caused myself trying NOT to eyeroll in front of R at this)

I didn’t follow through with this idea of his, and tried to vaguely insinuate that Fig wasn’t attracted to anyone.  Like me, who is ace.  R obviously wasn’t happy about me not continuing his “funny” joke, but the subject was dropped. The same sort of joke came up again with the main antagonist in our story, a YOUNG, UNDERAGE GIRL.  Again I didn’t take the bait, and thankfully after that he stopped trying that sort of “joke”.

However this campaign was broken into chapters, and R wanted to play a character in the next chapter and handed dming off to his son, J.  

We only played a single session with J dming, because he never planned ahead, and R spent the whole time belittling him. (this wasn’t new, every session R was doing this to his own son)

Because that campaign essentially fell through, and with the release of the Ravnica expansion, R began a new campaign, and @gettinziggywithit​ was invited to join in place of my coworkers sister. (who had stopped coming because of bs reasons all her own, and so R just killed off her character.  No one was sad about this)

R has a... passion? for writing up characters, so he wrote up a dwarven bard for Katie, which she decided to give an apprehension engine instrument.  (which is such a fun idea and played well with her characters personality, but I think R forgot this or just decided to veto it outright) (this isn’t important to post but it was important to me)

In this I made a female human rogue (as R had made a small comment prior in direct relation to the “joke” from before about how I played a male character) named Nora, who was basically Dexter (from same named show).  E also made a female character (ranger gnome? I cant remember), and their son J was to join later.  

Our first session, we are trying to leave this bog area, and we get ambushed by...Sucker Eels!  A creature of R’s own creation!

What do sucker eels do you ask?  They jump into your mouth, lock themselves in, and proceed to lay tons of eggs inside you that unless you get to a healer in time, will devour you from within.  That is if you don’t suffocate during the process, as trying to dislodge them make them burrow DEEPER.

Both Katie and my characters fucking deep throat some eels, all to the amusement of R.  Our characters get healed up, but we only do 2 sessions.

At the same time of these sessions, R starts talking to a coworker about doing a game with them as well, which this coworkers wife would DM as R wanted to actually play for once.  So, I write up a new character, a dwarven female rogue named Ira Octava.  Who is my Dragon Age: Inquisition character.  Who was based on my fantroll.

(don’t talk to me about ASLOD feels I will ALWAYS have ASLOD feels dude)

I headcanon that dwarven women also grow beards, Ira just likes to shave.  Also she’s 19.  Also she’s trans.  Still didn’t tell anyone.

This campaign started out well enough, but it quickly devolved as R kept redirecting the focus.  Also I should note, he makes pretty well balanced and fun characters for others, but his own characters are min/maxed to hell.  which really isn’t fun to play against.  

This campaign also only lasted 2 sessions.  Not because of R, but because we had to drive 2 HOURS (because R and E refuse to use toll roads, which would have made the trip 45 minutes) to the coworkers apartment, where a 5 year old treated us like a jungle gym, stole our dice, and tried to get into every bag/purse we’d brought.  Which the parents really didn’t give a crap about.

NOW

R suggested, because of the drive and the time restrictions, that we should try a session over discord.  He would gm this one, and we’d be moving away from dnd and working with the mutant and masterminds set up.  Superheroes and the like kind of game.  Right off the bat I new I wanted to play a character I already had.  Dude McMarrs.

Dude’s story came to me in horror packed dream filled with space crafts, aliens, body horror, death and humor.  Also you know, Venom was still fresh in my mind, and I literally already had a symbiote character so it was an easy choice.

The thing is, Dude is also trans male.  That was part of the dream, and I refused to remove this from his character.  Again, I wasn’t going to tell anyone in the game, as I knew it would be made into “a thing” somehow, which I hate.

Except, I was already getting tired of R’s bs attitude, humor, and opinions.  So when on the one trip we made to go talk about the game and characters in person, he makes the remark “You don’t play male characters well”, I make the dumbest statement alive.  I say “well he’s trans.”  like that’s different somehow.  Not my best moment, but I was getting frustrated.  I felt dread immediately.

R is questioning it at first, kind of like “why?”, and then tries to science against it with “no trans individuals in space because of taking hormones”, and I actually make a stand and shut him down.  We’re doing a superhero setting, which is a fantasy world, WITH SPECIFICALLY HIGHER ADVANCED TECHNOLOGIES AND MEDICINE, and you’re going to try and be “realistic” about a trans dude in space?  I didn’t back down, and it payed off.  I actually win, I get to have this character be themselves openly instead of once again hiding it.  

This happened 2 months ago, and I kept making it a point to be firm about Dude being trans.  And R actually seemed to be okay with it.  I was filled with confidence about this game, and being relaxed with a character I knew.  I was starting to think maybe R just had a crap sense of humor, but was actually a decent human being.

Now, I don’t know.

The post came from an email he sent to everyone, basically asking for background info and basic character info.  WHICH HE HAS ALREADY FROM ME.  On that info, Dude is labeled male, because he is male. He’s a trans man, he is male.  period.  

But the thing is, he could have just left it at “are you a boy or a girl?” and there would be no hurt.  That’s standard questionnaire stuff and it doesn’t bother me.   Instead, he typed out the additional “(there is no third answer)”.  That was unnecessary.  That was intentional. 

And ya, I may be taking this overboard for a character, but this statement also invalidates my identity. I’m agender.  I’m still working through my own social concepts of gender and gender roles, but everyday I accept who I am and that I am agender.  So seeing this, honestly hurt.   Does R know I’m agender? No. and I had no intentions of telling him before this.  Now I just really don’t want to be a part of this group.  Even though I was excited for this game.  But whatever, it’ll either never even start as other people are dragging their feet, or it will be abandoned pretty quick.

END OF RANT BONUS: Your standard instagram bathroom mirror photo of Dude before the shuttle mission.

A guy happy and comfortable in his own body.  Thanks for reading.

[toomanyskeletons]

do all the oc asks ALL of them for AT LEAST two of your ocs (evil laughter)

“evil”

you act as if talking extensively about my ocs does not bring me joy (i’ll only do two probably bc i do have some asks from other people so i’ll have to do those with other ocs, and i’ll try to stick to the same two for the most part.

or three. maybe three.)

anyway let’s begin

1. if they had a tumblr, what would they post about?

Sam: hmm i think probably some blog like. Mostly trans positivity posts with scattered posts abt how much she loves her gf

Amelia: considering her popularity status she’d run some blog like. U kno the blogs tumblr celebrities run i guess? So like. Reblogging a few general funny posts and answering select asks while getting like 200 every day.

 2. what’s their favourite colour?

 Sam: she likes blue :o like. Light blues. Also she keeps her hair dyed light blue as well

Amelia: purple. Honestly idk much more i can say about this.

 3. What makes them laugh?

 Sam: shitty puns and memes, mostly. The type of person who laughs out loud when u just say ‘egg’. She’s probably still into ‘xD tacos’ random humour.

Amelia: the polar opposite of sam in this regard. Laughs at intellectual humor. Like. rich fancy people. I know it exists but i cant think of any specific examples. Politely laughs at things people say are funny but she does not find them actually funny.

 4. If they had one day left to live, how would they spend it?

 Sam: “lmao dw i’ll probably just go to hell anyway” wait no context is important. She’s like. Actually how do i make this not sound bad rip. Uh. basically she is a business partner of lucifer who is actually p chill but that’s another story

Anyway that means like. If she dies she’ll probably just come back as a ghost or a higher tier demon.

O fuk now i really wanna draw that

Amelia: panicking and trying to find a way to not die. She had things she wants to do and a public record to maintain and jeez  i just realised how much ames has changed compared the the first universe she was in. i mean YEAH completely different life experiences but rip

 5. Do they have any annoying habits?

 -this is really subjective bc of what different people consider annoying but

Sam: people say she laughs too much. That is not her annoying habit is, her annoying habit is tellling lucifer when people say that so lucifer can like. Ban them from reincarnation or put a curse on them or something like that. Also sometimes when she cant be bothered to go that extra step she might go into the past and become that person’s grandmother.

...that second one isnt really an annoying habit to most people but to the one guy who has to help keep control of time, it is a very annoying habit and what makes up like half of his job doings.

 Amelia: sometimes goes very over the top with things. One time she stole a magic book by becoming a security guard at the place where it was kept and then took the book and ran. So like, instead of doing things illegally, she did it also illegally and got a month’s pay from it as well.

I guess she’s like. Extra™

 6. What’s their favourite movie genre?

I s2fg i have mentioned this sometime in one of the long texts i have written involving these characters but i cant remember so

Sam: tbh probably more realistic/contemporary stuff, rom-coms, slice of life, coming of age etc. Like. her life is a science fiction/fantasy movie she’s a time traveler working with the dark lord lucifer ffs. Also she’d probably get annoyed on tiny details while watching historical stuff like

“That never happened”

“Sam it’s fiction, it’s a movie, how would they have known that”

“Well maybe they didn’t know it but it’s still fucking annoying”

 Amelia: probably similar to sam, her life is fuckin busy and always people and she’s famous so like. Escape from her life is to indulge in the normal things.

 Just as a side note this does take place in a modern-ish fantasy world so idk what fantasy movies would be considered there but. They exist. I’ll work this out sooner or later

 Also bonus character bc its fucking funny - Zeph: zephyr likes horror movies. She also likes to watch horror movies with her brother. Her brother does not share her same passion for horror movies. He has a certain threshold before he has to flee the room and cuddle someone. This is mostly why zeph likes horror movies. She is pretty picky with what she considers ‘good’ and spends most of her time making fun of horror movies.

And, like the rest of us, secretly freaks out when she is alone at night and hears a sound outside. But for significantly less long because she knows exactly how to make fun of it.

 7. What are their religious beliefs?

 Alright i might not (read: will not currently) answer this bc i’m still working out how to handle religion in this, bc basically there is historical evidence for how the world was created. But obviously that’s not the only component to religion?

Another point would be that actually i still havent got around to creating any religions yet.i still gotta get around to getting down a more detailed history of the world first but i am planning it

 8. What’s their current job (if they have one)?

Yes BITCH i have been WAITIGN for a question like this

 Sam: basically she made a deal with lucifer and runs many errands for them. But also they helped her a LOT when they helped her escape a shitty transphobic environment and also the two became best friends? So i mean she doesn’t get paid but that takes up a lot of her time

Also she, at one stage, becomes part of this thing called the council which i haven’t quite worked out how they work in this universe yet. Theyre a bunch of strong magic people who work in coordination with the Champion (more on this below) to put down rules about magic. Theyre a reused concept from this story i made when i was like. 10. So the idea does need some reworking.

 Amelia: amelia is the champion, which is basically the title given to the person who wins at a big magic competition. Its a p big job, lots of publicity and pr and often regretted by the people who do end up getting there

(like? This one guy? He was kinda like “oh yeah sounds fun” and then he fucking won and he was like “lmao i’ll lose next year” and then he kept the position for 7 years and after that got so fucking sick of it he faked his assassination and became a reclusive mysterious millionaire)

Anyway she enjoys it for the first while until there is a real threat of her being assassinated unlike the aforementioned dude

But she enjoys being around people to an extent, and like. She enjoys making people happy, so

 9. How do they react to confrontation?

 Sam: similar way to what i described before. Like. jsut the little things. Cursing them with the help of lucifer, becoming their grandmother, you know. The usual ways people deal with confrontation.

Amelia: curiosity, further questioning, keeping calm, kinda just. Being chill about it. She wants to make herself a better person, in general, and if someone is deliberately being a confrontational asshole she prefers to just state her point calmly.

 10. Do they have a criminal record?

 Sam: you know? Probably? She kills a bunch of assholes where it’s required, but also she legally doesn’t exist? So? Idk? She’s been arrested a few times, but considering there is no information on her existence at all-

*shrugs* idfk how the law works.

 Amelia: well, technically, no, she only did illegal things last universe and had a pretty fancy upbringing this universe, so there was no reason for her to do the illegals and also like. Public image and stuff. She worries a lot about public image.

 11. What’s their favourite plant?

 Another thing which i feel i have mentioned somewhere but idfk where

 Sam: likes hydrangeas. They’re pretty.

Amelia: can i just say. It is definitely not catnip. Actually. Maybe? Like. she had some pretty fuckin negative experiences with catnip where she destroyed reality for like a solid five seconds by accident and went to purgatory, but also she made two life friends out of it, so? Maybe catnip after all.

 12. Can they play any instruments?

 Sam: “does the kazoo count”

Amelia: nope

 But because this was boring, i’m going to do a special guest feature from her half brother ryan who is a semi-popular youtube vlogger/musician-y dude. or . whatever this world’s equivalent of youtube is. Uh. metube. Yotube. I’ll think about it.

 Ryan: he plays the guitar and sings and he’s damn fucking good at it and he knows it. Also he shares the same combination of forgetting how to outlet his anger in healthy ways + poor impulse control which means that about once every six months he has to buy a new guitar because he couldn’t get that song right and he hit the guitar against the floor.

(his dad is a writer and also an archangel,and one time he couldn’t work out how to start off a scene right so he exploded his laptop and had to use a typewriter for the four weeks while his other archangel buddy was fixing it - i’m getting off topic here)

 13. What are they proudest of?

 Sam: i guess just. Her life in general? Like. she’s survived up to this point, she’s doin shit, maybe not the shit she expected to be doing or the shit she imagined she’d be doing but she’s still doin it. Like. fuck you life. I survived. And she’s proud of that.

Amelia: that one time when she managed to keep her champion title the first time? And also when she made friends with the guy who she thought was a girl and also dead who turned out to be not a girl and alive and also was the champion for seven years rememebr that guy yeah that’s this guy. Anyway she made friends with him after settling some differences. And also when she stopped a whole organisation from murdering her yeah that was good too.

 14. What’s their biggest insecurity?

 Sam: okay this is Definitely Not Me Projecting here (hint: it’s me projecting) but she hates being seen as masculine at all and is very insecure when people refer to her or see her as masculine? Like if u call her butch She Will Cry and also why would you do that bc her and her girlfriend are femme as heck

Amelia: public image public image public image public image

Like. she doesn’t want to look bad, or like a bad public leader, but also, she just wants to do her own thing, u kno?

 15. What do they most often dream about?

Like. literally dream or daydream?

 Sam: probably. Mostly happy stuff. Plus random occasional vivid recollections of tramatic experiences.

Amelia: honestly who the fuck knows (i’d answer this properly but I am Almost Out O f Time)

 So yes almost out of time but thank you so much and doing this has inspired me to just completely rework my first book to make it more interesting

I know that sounds bad btu its not i promise i love oyu

(also there was a bunch of different formatting like italcs etc that was lost when icopied from here to docs sorry)

[oliveraaliyah1994]

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