#BRUH THAT IS DEADASS STUPID

[sparrowsparadise]

y'all. I finally watched brahms last night and 😬

[drowninginfelines]

downloaded xkit rewritten and o my god the quick reblog is so tiny and ugly i hate this

[jeansplaytoy]

𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥

part seven.

i’m back and better than ever (kind of).

no proof read yet , smut , sexual references , cursing , arguing , angst(?) , everything that’s always in my stories .

part six here | part eight here

unbearable. to sit in a car all night when all you wanted to do was have a good time? yeah, unbearable.

“this is so fuckin’ stupid.” you mumbled, crossing your arms and leaning on the door of the car. “and you’re childish. all you do is fight, but you want freedom.” he shook his head and scrolled on his phone.

“i’m sober.”

“and im sitting in the backseat.”

“you’re in the front.”

“and you’re not sober.”

you squinted at connie. you couldn’t think of anything else to say, so you stayed quiet. for like… 5 seconds. “can you take me home?” you asked. connie looked at you in the dark rear view mirror. “you sure? don’t be complaining when you get there either.” he mumbled, focusing back on his phone.

“i wanna go drinkkkk.” you whined, tapping the seat.

“no. you can’t control yo emotions when you drink.” connie shook his head. “and you not finna be in there gettin drunker than you already is.”

“okay i just wanna have a good time.” you rolled your eyes lazily. “you expect me to believe that shit?” he looked back at you. “you can watch me. i won’t do nothing. i promise.” you raised your eyebrows with a small smile.

connie’s lip twitched and he sighed. “we not gon be here for more than bout an hour. you better do whatever you wanna do, then we leaving. ight?”

you nodded with a smile while connie unlocked the door for you after he got out. you grabbed your heels and slipped them back on, nearly tipping over when you stood up. before you could roam off anywhere, he grabbed your hand, letting you lead him to where you were going.

“do we really have to hold hands?” you mumbled, walking beside him with a bored expression. “nah.” connie said, letting go of your hand and putting his arm around your shoulder.

you looked up at him before sighing inaudibly and walking back in the house. everyone looked at you, seems like there were more people there than the first time, but you didn’t care.

when connie looked to the side, he saw that same girl in the corner. seemed like she was still mad. “let’s go upstairs real quick.” he mumbled in your ear. you looked at him with a confused expression. “for what?”

“youn need to be getting in no more trouble down here.”

you stopped in your tracks and crossed your arms. “is that the real reason you wanna take me upstairs?” you squinted. your thoughts from earlier started to come back to you. he wasn’t just gonna fuck you whenever he wanted.

connie squinted. “yes. now come on.” he looked around, noticing the girl unknowingly getting closer to you two. before you could argue, he dragged you up the stairs, nearly tripping you on the way up.

“i don’t wanna go upstairs i wanna drink.” you held on to the side of the stairs. connie smacked his lips. “do you wanna getcho ass whooped y/n?” he looked back at you, opening the door to the same room you two first got… physical in.

“no, cus a bitch can’t beat me regardless-”

you didn’t even get to finish your sentence. connie closed the door behind the both of you and locked it, standing against it.

“aw hell naw. you think i’m finna let you get in my panties again?” you frowned. “let me out.”

“no.”

“connie, i am so deadass i’m not bouda sit here and let you kiss me and touch me and do whatever the fuck we did whenever you feel like it, then ignore me for another one or two weeks.”

connie threw his head back against the door. “man… shut up.”

“shut up because i ain’t finna let you use me-“

“bruh what the fuck is you talkin bout?” you could hear the irritation in connie’s voice, and the sober corner of you told you to just shut up, but you were still drunk.

“what i just said. you’re not about to fuck me again and then leave-“

“y/n ion wanna fuck you.”

“yes you-“

“no—the fuck i don’t. i’m tryna keep yo ass outta trouble, cause you too fucking stupid to realize every time you go out you be in some bullshit-“ you opened your mouth to say something back. “nah, listen. you too stupid to realize you always in some shit, and if you get hurt you gon be complaining like you always is.”

now he was actually starting to get mad. you wouldn’t shut up.

“let me out.”

you tried to push past connie, but obviously he’s way stronger than you. “let me out!”

that’s when you felt him grab your arm and push you back on the bed. “that’s yo fucking problem, you don’t listen. you so fuckin childish, people tryna be here to have a good time and yo ole stupid ass and that bitch steady fighting. don’t nobody wanna hear that shit all the time.” he started raising his voice. “sit the fuck down. ion wanna fuck you, ion care shit bout that. you steady sittin here tryna argue, you don’t fuckin listen.”

you stared at him.

“ain’t no reason i gotta sit here and really treat yo ass like a big ass baby cause you can’t control yo liquor. i’m tired of that shit bruh.”

you didn’t even feel like talkin back, cause he wasn’t gon listen. you failed to realize that your face was starting to get wet because of the tears rolling down your cheeks until you sniffed and huffed.

connie backed up and stared down at you, bitting his top lip. you sniffed even more and hummed, wiping your tears, some of your mascara from your bottom lash coming off with it, along with your eyeliner.

you sat back on the bed and looked at connie again. you couldn’t really read his face, not only because of your teary eyes, but because of his blank expression.

until you blinked once more, you noticed he wasn’t even looking at you anymore. he was staring at the ceiling.

you swallowed and moved to the end of the bed to take off your heels. surprisingly, you continued to cry. you didn’t even know it. connie then looked down at you again.

you then stood up, now standing in front of him.

he sighed and wiped the stained marks from your cheeks and eyes. with one hand in his pocket, and the other on your face, he licked his lips.

out of all the shit you talked, and the things you said, you looked at his lips. you bit yours and trailed your hands up his shoulders and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in. he knew it was probably wrong to be intimate right after you said he was using you, but shit.

he wrapped his arms around your waist, nuzzling his nose in your neck.

you did the same. except when you did it, you couldn’t help but put your lips on his neck. not even a kiss. you just needed to feel it.

eventually, which wasn’t long, promise, you softly kissed connie’s neck. you moved your hands to the back of his head, ignoring the red lipstick stains you left on his neck, and started to kiss up his jaw.

you pulled back and moved back to the bed, holding his hand to lead him with you. he moved on top of you, making you automatically slightly open your legs to make space for him.

as you laid back, he saw a single tear drip down the corner of your eye. wiping it before it reached your ear, he kissed your cheek. under your eyes—both of them, and then kissed your lips.

he barely gave you time to kiss back as you closed your eyes and rubbed his back. he kissed down your face, neck, chest.

“you know ian wanna make you cry ma.” he said in between kisses.

you didn’t say nothing back, but you heard him. “you know i care about you.” he whispered, starting to give you hickeys on your neck and chest. “i just…” he kissed your lips again. “ion wanna get attached.” he sat up, pulling your legs closer to him.

he massaged your thighs and moved his hands up to your waist. then he moved from your waist to your chest, undoing your outfit down the middle before helping you get it halfway off. he leaned down to kiss your stomach, glancing up at you with every few kisses, just to see that look on your face.

“you just…” he moved back up to your face, spreading your legs further as you started to close them. “you be pissin me off sometimes.” he moved his right hand down to your panties, which were already almost soaked.

he rubbed his middle finger along your panties, making you arch your back, only a little. connie stared at you with bored eyes, but he definitely wasn’t bored. he then licked his lips, moving his hand up, then down in your panties.

“you love lace. ima remember that.” he said, moving his finger along your wet folds. you softly moaned, closing your eyes and biting your lip.

he moved his hand away from your pussy and licked his middle finger, making you open your eyes. the look on your face just drove him crazy. the way your brows furrowed when what you wanted to happen, didn’t happen. yet.

he put his thumb in front of your lips as you looked him in his eyes. “suck it.” he mumbled. you did as he said. what else could you do? “good girl.” he muttered, moving his hand back down inside your panties.

he put his thumb on your clit, softly pressing down on it, making you moan a little louder than you did at first.

he slowly started to rub your clit, sticking his middle finger inside of you at the same time. “ah, fuck…” you moaned softly as connie started to kiss you again. he was moving his fingers so slow, but it felt so good.

he slipped his tongue in your mouth as you kissed, slightly moving his hips against his own hand as he slowly fingered you.

your kisses started to get sloppier by the second. “you like that?” he whispered against your lips. you quickly nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck like before, moving your hips against his fingers.

that’s when he pulled his fingers out of you, unexpectedly sticking them in your mouth. as you tasted yourself, connie pulled your outfit off the rest of the way, undoing his pants with his other hand.

you didn’t even realize he was starting to slip his self into you, until he put the tip in. he moved his hand from your mouth to your neck, rubbing it with his thumb.

you slightly whimpered.

“it’s too big, pa. it won’t fit…” you furrowed your eyebrows.

“if wasn’t too big a few weeks ago.” he replied, stretching you out more and more by the second. you painfully moaned as connie’s thumb started to rub your cheek.

“you good… shit..” connie threw his head back for a second before moving closer to you. you grabbed his shirt to pull him closer to you. while he moved closer, he grabbed your hands and intertwined your fingers, pinning them down to the bed as he started to move his hips.

“yeah..” you looked up at him. his eyes were closed at first. a few thrusts in, he looked at you. you could barely function because of the pleasure, it felt like it was all over your body. it’s been so long.

as he looked into your eyes, making noises he didn’t even know he was making, the same with you, you felt your eyes start to water again. you slowly started nodding. you didn’t know why. you just did.

connie leaned down to kiss you again, holding on to your hand tighter, thrusting at the same pace but harder. “fuck, connie..” you moaned softly. “i hate you so much…” you moaned again, making connie close his eyes and groan a little.

“i’m sorry.” he muttered, putting his face in your neck again. he could barely hold your hand. he tried to, but it felt like he was losing all his strength.

your eyes rolled to the back of you head and you moved your hips with connie’s. “you know ion be meaning to do you like that…” he said against your neck as he started kissing it again.

“uh huh..” you said softly. you didn’t know if you were replying to him or reacting to the feeling he was giving you. he moved his hand to your neck, slowly starting to thrust faster, making you moan louder by the second. “i like you for real…” he softly moaned against your ear.

“i…” you couldn’t get your words out clearly because of the grip he had on your neck. connie moved away from your ear and looked down at you, his grip on your neck didn’t change at all. you looked up at him with glossy eyes.

you held his wrist, feeling yourself come closer and closer to an orgasm. “i… like you too.” you mumbled enough for connie to hear. connie furrowed his eyebrows, nodding slowly before groaning softly.

you moaned one more time before finally feeling yourself finish with him, both of you out of breath as he let go of your neck.

connie leaned down to rest his head on your chest for a few seconds as you started to rub his back and head.

he wrapped his arms around your waist and looked up at you.

there wasn’t anything else to say. seemed like it.

he got off of you and fixed his self, letting you put your jump suit back on. “you ready to go?” he mumbled, looking at his neck in the mirror as you put your heels back on.

you silently nodded.

[i-cant-sing]

im WRITING NOTES AGAIN!!!

ok so i had to reread the ending of TTAU pt 9 cos i was confused on why y/n was crying! but im refreshed, that’s just so sad to me. it must’ve felt very dehumanizing with how the royals (specifically Miriham ) treats y/n and to have her niqab ripped off of her. and her broach stolen too, but idk if she cares for that. i’m mostly focusing on the niqab being her coverage and her way to feel closer to her religion. idk maybe im reading too into it.

AGH BALDWIN MENTION!! RAHHHH RAHHHH RAHHHHH

Ibrahim PRAYING to have y/n fall in love with him too. I FEEL SO ROMANTICAL!! that’s just too cute , it’s not forcing y/n to be with him but hoping she comes to love him aswell , RAHHH I LOVE IT

also i feel like with him wanting her…idk if he’ll actually help her get Out. maybe get out of the royal area , or something. but idk about…letting her leave him?! it makes me suspicious but then he prayed for her and now idk…his intentions just seem 🫨 to me. it’s shaking me around

mustafa bringing more broaches for y/n to wear, i wonder if he realizes that mihirmah is taking them without asking yet. or if he fr thinks y/n is still giving them away cos she doesn’t care.

im so stupid for not finishing that paragraph before writing something.

“there's no way he doesnt know Mihirmah is the one taking them when she openly flaunts them in his face.” is deadass the next sentence

“Baris asked as he looked through your closet.” i bet, he’s judging so hard. his ass is the type to throw something out cos he thinks it’s ugly.

another baldwin flashback 😭 STAWP , i’m trying to hate him in peace

"Because... I have to look for a present for Mustafa." SHE PLAYING BARIS LIKE MONOPOLY “present for Mustafa ☺️” LIAR !!!

"Have you stolen it?" RAHHHH I FEEL SOMETHING WEIRD IN MY TUMMY! DOES SHE KNOW ? DOES SULTANA KNOW SOMETHKNG SHE SHOULDNT ?

“Have you stolen what you came for? What exactly were you looking for? Mustafa's gold? His jewels?" bruh nvm. i’m stupid for thinking she’s smart.

“Just like Isabella, he will betray you every chance he gets.” that’s gotta be rough. like y/n has no one. literally no one. she’s just by herself until she can get home to her family, to her brother. i mean, y/n is clearly capable of surviving on her own, but it must be incredibly lonely and sad ! RAHHHH Y/N ! GOVE Y/N A BREAK!

“But... where did the portrait go?”

1. one of the boys has it hanging up cos “oh it looks so similar to the loml” 🤮

2. someone took it as black mail and is going to accuse y/n of witchery

3. it’s getting fixed up from where bladwin made out with it and they’ll find out it looks so similar to y/n and think y/n is related to royalty cos “why did a king 400 years ago have this portrait painted IF NOT IT BEING THE LOVE OF HIS CRAZY ASS LIFE ! AND Y/N IS A DESCENDANT AND CLEARLY NEEDS TO MARRY ONE OF THE BOYS THIS INSTANT! “

4. someone burnt it for y/n already

“ "I may not know how to hunt, but you do. So... shall we?" You asked patting the horse. “ y/n just makes herself seem like the weirdest person ever in both time periods cos she just wants to get OUTTA THERE! she does Not care if they think she’s crazy, she’ll say whatever to get where she needs to go.

“You both stared at each other, heaving and trying to catch your breath before breaking out into a laughter.” this horseback riding/chase scene is giving Anthony & Kate love story in Bridgerton. next thing we know Mustafa is gonna be going 🥴😵‍💫🤯 for how y/n smells. (this joke is gonna be lame if u haven’t seen bridgerton, i apologize)

“And somehow, you would soon hit the bullseye in his heart.” this shit corny as hell.

do it again

“…looking off into the distance as you remembered the old couple who helped you.” RAHHH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT! thats so saaaaad,

“‘…Maybe I'll see them there, just from a distance?" Mustafa nodded at your request. How could he say no to such an innocent ask?” *5 Seconds of Summer’s song Wrapped Around Your Finger starts playing *

“Those words, that praise... isnt that what he's yearned for all his life?” oh damn. this dude fell in love with a time traveling scammer. get in liiiine buddy, GET IN LINE!!!

“Doesnt he ever deserve to even delude himself that he has a chance at being the next sultan?” this whole paragraph just opened this character to me in such a naked way, it makes me FEEL REAL EMOTIONS! STOP IT! 🤮😭 also #daddyissues

“ "Wherever it'll be the most prominent." He smiled gently. “ hey, i’m just gonna jump off this cliff rq, ok? but fr tho? THIS IS TOO CUTE!! idk y/n’s plan with this is cos she doesn’t NEED to get him a gift, maybe it’s to get closer with him so he’ll have more leeway with her walking off without him? i’m under the delusion that she might be falling in love tho 🤷🏽‍♀️

“…or the way his heart warmed when your pupils dilated and he was ready to give you the world if you asked for it.” her pupils dilated ? well, she’s definitely attracted to the man 😀 right ? RIGHT?

“ "crochet your anger away, Y/n." “ I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT Y/N’s FAMILY!! THEYRE TOO CUTE !!

“…you finally sighed exaggeratively, as if this wasnt exactly what you wanted.” awe damn, mother fucking bitch. I AM DELULU! I HATE IT! i should’ve known, y/n is a scammer girl 4 lyfe 😣

“ “I do. But unfortunately, I had given it away to a Roman diplomat as goodwill." “ liar. he’s got it. i’m calling it rn. he’s got IT ! HES HIDING IT SOMEWHERE!!!!!! RAHHHH U LIAR!!! I DONT TRUST ANYONE NOW!!!!

“By the time you two left Manisa, Mustafa had decided that he was going to marry you.” damn bruh. u quick asf with that, huh? u love y/n thaaat bad ? OOOOH u wanna kiss y/n soooo baaad! he’s a little simp! simp! simp! simp!

“Mustafa doesnt have Suleiman's respect. “ oh damn that spiral was a little crazy. i like that. that’s my type of spiral.

“…he could only hope you dont mind that he lied to you about the portrait.” …i knew it 😩 I KNEW IT 😣 YOU CANT TRUST BITCHES ANYMORE ! WHAT HAPPENED TO HONEST GODLY MEN WHO DIDNT LIE 👹 AND CHEAT 👹 AND BE MEN 👹 ! RAHHHHH

“For him to stare at, to clear his mind as he peered into those eyes above the paint smudges, that looked eerily similar to yours.” hey now. let’s all chill out and not look into that, ok! let’s just stare at the portrait that was made 400 years ago, and is missing the bottom half of its face cos of no reason what so ever. don’t ever try to make a artist try to replicate it. don’t do anything crazy.

“On returning to Constantinople (present day known as Istanbul),” instantly reminded me of that scene in Umbrella Academy w/ Five fighting all those agents in a doughnut parlor. (i keep referencing things and just hoping you know one of them 😎)

“…your eyes being trained on the sad man who was busy buying vegetables.” RAHHH STOP I FEEL SO SAD ! THESE TWISTS OF EMOTIONS ARE TORTURE (i’m jk, i love being melodramatic)

“…but deep down, he knows he only stepped in to impress you.” HEADASS! this dude a simp.

“Mustafa threw a pouch of gold coins and told him that the debt is paid. Period. “ period 💅🏽

him still thinking of y/n saying she’s proud of him? HES SO INFATUATED WITH HERRRRR RAHHHHHHH

“…not knowing about the shit storm that was about to come.”

1. mihirmah is mad

2. the other lover boy (Mehmed) is mad

3. the sultana (that ISNT mustafa’s mom) is mad cos her kids are mad

“…but it seems like sweet talking didnt make a dent on you” ok? bitch tf? SAVE MY GRANDFATHER FROM GETTING HARASSED AND PAY OFF HIS DEBT! then we can talk, tf? Y/n DOESNT OWE U ANYTHING BITCH

“ "You're clearly accusing me of something, so say it." “ oh man, i just love when a women doesn’t let bitchass men walk over them. PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE GIRL ! YES BITCH!!

“…they still stay here, only leaving when the sultan takes them along." “ you saying only a lady’s baby daddy or real daddy can take them out of the house ? get the FAWK out of my face , THIS DUDE GOT ME MAD!

“Is he- did he just say you tempt men?” barf. this man is the definition of “i trust You, i just don’t trust men around u,” BITCH SHUT UUUUUUUUPPP

“…but the moment these men know that you're a woman, you're meat for them.” this sounds like projection, mother fucker. get into some therapy. BARF

“This veil that you seem so proud of?…” why did this make me feel attacked? this made me even more upset for y/n, cos ??? y/n has every right to be proud of it even if “It only makes men to want to rip it off you more”, that isn’t Why y/n wears her veil. maybe i’m not using the right words or expressing my feelings right but it just made me really mad.

“but you're wrong if you think I'm using my veil, my covered body to invite men to stare at me." “ oh beautiful. she put it into words for me.

"I AM THE NEXT SULTAN! I AM UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO MAKE SENSE TO YOU!" the gasp that i just gusped!! HOW DARE YOU!!

“His hand reached up and grabbed your niqaab, threatening to yank it off you.” i’m feeling VERY VIOLENT THOUGHTS!

“Do you think you can stop me from making your worst nightmares come to life?"” 😮.

“he found it necessary to reprimand you.” 🤢

“He patted your cheek to make you nod, and he finally backed away and left you alone in the hall.” 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

“how Mehmed had lifted up your veil and traced your skin.” that was a deadass traumatizing scene between the two and all the palace bitches got from that was “ohhhh they’re in loooooove” SHUT UUUUUUUP

“You want Mustafa to lose- you want Mahidevran to lose!” oh this bitch is crazy. her thots spirals just like her sons, apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

“..it doesnt register at first the hard smack she delivered to your face.” god damn. y/n never catches a break in this awful place. GET HER OUT ! GET HER OUT NOOOOW!!

“Hurrem turned to look at you, grimacing at your bloodied face.” oh god damn. i just hate everyone atp.

“…then that is what I will say- Mehmed did this to me.” y/n is too smart for her own good. FUCK THEM BITCHES UP WITH INTELLIGENCE GIRL!! GET THEM WITH UR UPDATED SCHOOL TEACHINGS!!

“But if you were to help me escape-" “ i hope to god this bitch helps y/n leave PLEASE GOD PLEASE

“Baris walked in with Mustafa, Mehmed and Mihirmah, all looking at the state of your injured face.” oh damn, my girl isn’t wearing her niqab 😩

“…it was Mehmed's eyes that pricked you and you quickly grabbed your veil, tying it around your face to cover it.” he’s cool for that, ig. i still hate him and want him to die and want him to fall on his face and break his nose and i want his dad to stop loving him.

“Suleiman's eyes widened at the state of your face- bruised, bloodied and swollen.” THIS ANGST IS CRAAAAAZY! DUDE ITS CRAAAAAZY !! I GET WHY Y/N WONT SNITCH BUT PLEASE ! PLEASE ! LET SOMEONE BE SMART ENOUGH TO FOGURE IT OUT ON THEIR OWN ! (i’m asking for too much ik) WHERE THEY CAN IGNORE Y/N TRYING TO LIE ABOUT HOW SHE DOESNT KNOW! PLEASE

“No. No, she couldnt have.” YES SHE COULDVE U DUMB BOY! PLEASE ! PLEASE ! JUST FIGURE OUT UR MOM IS A DUMB BITCH ‘ PLEASE

“ Suleiman's sixth sense was keeping him unsettled” NAUR BITCH ! ITS MORE LIKE A 5 1/4th OF A SENSE ! UR SO CLOSE BUT SO FAR ! PLEASE ! SOMEONE PLEASE !

“ Her hands hiding under her sleeves.” OH THANK GOD ITS A FR 6th SENSE ! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!

“ "It’s okay, sultana. It was an accident." “ i did all this begging and for WHAT? whyyyy y/n ?! whyyyy do you have to care about the timeline and the fact that you’re literally controlling the future with what you doooo! whyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!

“ All this time, I thought she was cheating on you but Hurrem set her and me up. “ so CLOSE! YOURE SO CLOSE! Hurrem’s son is just a fucking crazy misogynistic that deserves the PLAGUE ! idk what plague, of if there is a plague at this time , but i hope he gets something bad!

“He now understands why his mother wanted him to marry you. You- you are the key to having the throne…” i like that he Just now got it! i like to think he truly likes y/n all on his own without the mission of the throne. it definitely helps his feelings, he gets the girl he likes and the throne. but he liked her fr, just for her.

“…had his blood boiling at the sight of your face uncovered as Baris applied healing balms to your wounds.” is this dude ever Not mad ? gtfo

“He corrected you before turning your face to him harshly” i just realized this dude is a real yandere. like an actual yandere. i forgot that this is what it’s all about. i’m all like “hes dehumanizing y/n!” “hes misogynistic !” like bitch look at wtf ur reading. ofc he is. he’s a yANDERE ! i’m sorry, dear author! i forgot where i was for a second!

"If you can do it yourself, then why let Baris do it? Do you enjoy his touch?" i still hate him.

“…because you dont want to stay in a place without the only sane person who had your back.” as far as we know….as far as we know.

“…besides giving him curt replies, which he doesnt notice because his head is so far up his-“ BARF BARF BARF! i hate him

“Mehmed has fucking lost it, and I need to get out of here right now.” PLEASE PLEASE GET OUT AS FAST AS YOU CAN! PLEASEEEE

"I'm saving your ass. Duh." i don’t trust ur Baris. someone def paid him to do it.

"He's having their eyes stitched up for staring at you." oh he’s CRAZY CRAZY! those poor people! y/n is going to feel so guiltyyyyy NAUUUR ! nawt more trauma ! leave my girl aloooooone!

“Keep a low profile and try not to seduce any more unhinged men.” little does Baris know…theyre in a story written by someone who will definitely have that happen :)! i’m sorry y/n ! i’m sorry for what the author with put u thru!!

“He had been paying me since the moment you set foot in the palace to keep you safe.” ibrahim! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU IBRAHIM!!

“So thats what Suleiman wanted to discuss with you.” Y/n ! LOVE IBRAHIM! PLEASE LOVE HIM! (i’m jk, but fr, i’m glad y/n is getting out)

“They're in love with me. And when they heard I was leaving, they decided to come along. “ baris, you devil man. i knew you were good this whole time…

“Maybe you just lucked out-“ i don’t want to scroll down. i don’t WANT TO MNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN! I JUST WANT TO TURN OFF MY PHONE AND DELETE TUMBLR AND LET THAH BE IT!!!

“You were struck by lightening.” god damn. just god damn. just- ohmygod! OHMYGOD! HO ! MA ! GAWD ! CAN SHE HAVE ANYTHING ? CAN SHE JUST GET A BREAK FOR A SECOND?’ CAN SHE JUST FEEL HOPE AND JOY FOR A SECOND?!

“ "I know where she is." He stood up, Mehmed following behind him. “ NAUUUR! THE GRANDPARENTS!! THEYRE GONNA DIIIIIE ! PLEASE NO! PLEASE GAWD NOOOOOOO!!!

“She killed herself the next day. She had jumped off the roof, but she didnt die instantly. She died as Hurrem watched from her balcony, and she refused to alert anyone to help the poor woman.” the old couples daughter, nooooo! just nooooooo! at least they can meet with her when they die,,,hopefully from old age!!

"BY THE ORDER OF SEHZADE MUSTAFA! OPEN THE DOOR!" it’s not gonna be from old age, they are Not dying from old age.

“ "Do it. Save Y/n." He told her, but before anyone could react, Mehmed sliced off the man's head, “ IM ACTUALLY CRYING. LIKE FR ! this isn’t faiiiiir! i mean? i know they were gonna die and i kept joking but IT WAS TO COVER THE PAIN! PLEASE NOOOOOO

“Mehmed kicked her in the back and the old lady fell to the ground. “ she died just like her daughter…kinda ? that’s so sad. i’m so upset!

"Fine." He pulled out his sword. "May the better prince win." god damn. just god damn.

“Mehmed was going to win and she needed to be there to witness it.” she’s as crazy as her damn brother. why tf did i think she was a lesbian and in love with y/n. i should’ve known 😣 i was pushing my gay agenda , the republicans r right 🫨 IM JUST FUCKING AROJND! i’m KIDDING

“ "I am better than you. In every way." Mustafa raised his sword to drop it on Mehmed's neck, just as cruelly he had done to that old woman.” SCREAMING! IM SCREAMING!!

“But that will be for another day-“ nauuur bitch. ur brother is gonna kill you! TURN AROUND BITCH ! TURN AROUND’ RAHHH NOOOO RAHHHHH

“People who more than willingly began microdosing Mehmed with poison.” i didn’t Not expect this. ho em gee

“You slammed your fists as the room began catching on fire.” y/n and fire! god damn. you’d think fire is a yandere for this poor girl. ohmygodddd

“The next moment, Mustafa's head was chopped off.” THE. GASP. I. JUST. GUSPED. NAUUUUUR I LIKED HIM THE MOST! NAUUUUR NAUUUUR NAUUUUUR

“It’s on.” oh mygod. OH MYGDOD

“Whatever time you land in, it'll be better than the one where you almost burn to death. Right?” RIGHT ?! RIGHT?! god PLEASE SOMEONE! GET THAT DAMN SCREEN FIXED ! PLEASE !

i’m feeling so many emotions. everyone died. girl when u said “ no one gets hurt “ or something like that. i was like “oh some ONE will die” bitch i didn’t think EVERYONE! the old couple! mustafa ! fuck head! like god damn bruh. i wonder how badly this will fuck with the timeline in the future.

ibrahim is at war rn and waiting to get home to his soon to be wife! the sultanas have lost both of their eldest sons! hurrem has some leftovers, so i wonder who will be in charge next.

the old couple gets to see their daughter again, and i loved how they loved y/n. i wonder why the old lady was choking y/n tho? was it to kill her so she didn’t have to go with mehmed & mustafa?

mustafa dying really upset me too. he had a genuine connection with y/n i feel like (besides ibrahim ofc) and i really liked him. you fleshed out his character so well that it shocked me when he died! he must’ve been scared, surrounded by people who wanted him dead. his mom far away. the love of his life (y/n) meeting an uncertain fate in that random castle. his brother just dying infront of him. i thot he had his army with him too, so im surprised Mehmed’s men were surrounding him. it’s just sad!

BUT SO GOOD! i’m so excited to see how this goes! how far it goes! i’ve really enjoyed annotating while i read as well, i feel like im more immersed in the story! thank you for chapter 10! it was delicious 😩

11/10 review, amazing, showstopping fabulous <3333

and yes, the old couple was killing y/n to save her from being taken advantage of by the ottomans, as their daughter was. in a way, they had good intentions for y/n.

[floofeh-purpi]

Getting isekai'd?! (Part 6)

Sagau! Genshin Fatui x Gn! Reader (ft. Your bsf)

『Beloved fluffball/s mentioned below! 💜』

@justmare @mc-cos-charm @keirennyx

NEW FLUFFBALL ADDED TO MY COLLECTION!! Mwehehehehe >:3

☆

A/n: Almost at 50 fluffballs guys! 🥹

Warnings: Swearing, grammatical/spelling issues, bbg if you srsly forgot you have vitiligo, I couldn't find the image that I always use in the header thingy part so I had to improvise, y/b/f/n and you being silly.

【Part 5】

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

The 5 signs that Our Holiness has descended upon Teyvat:

1. Golden blood.

2. The sound of Their Majesty's 'Kalimba' playing in the air.

3. Shooting stars.

4. Their Holiness' lovely voice.

5. Their dog that Their Majesty calls "Siberian Husky" yes aka your big baby sitting on your lap.

The Cryo Archon letted out a a quiet gasp. "How could I have forgotten the melodies My Grace used to play..." she thought as she closed the book and putted it back to its shelf, her shoes clicking against the floor of her icy-cold palace.

☆

You hummed a song to yourself as you helped your friend build a wooden house in Minecraft. "Yo should we just do milk chocolate or dark chocolate planks?" You asked with a stupid grin on yoir face.

"Bitch you could've just said oak or dark oak planks... 😭" Your best friend said affectionately. And yet you deadass expect them to take you seriously when your like this. "But now im hungry wtf?" You both said in unison.

"Bruh."

"Bitch? Anygays wanna go to the kitchen together?"

"Sure~!" Y/b/f/n said in the gayest fucking way possible.

You both turn off your computers and went to the kitchen.

☆

You guys were eating (f/f) Y/b/f/n was eating it because you were eating it too :3 until a knock on the door rudely interrupted you guys' snacking session. "Stupid fucking door..." Y/b/f/n thought. How dare the person interrupt their precious time with you? But anyways, they go to the door open it, only to see a certain gingerhead whose alias is the literal opposite of what he is *EHEM* Child...

"Hello comarde! May I come in?"

"Yah, sure. 😐" Your bsf made some space for him to go through the door. "HOY (N/N), WE HAVE A VISITOR! PISTE KA" Y/b/f/n yelled at you.

"PISTE I HAVENT FINISHED MY FOOD" Tartaglia sweatdropped slightly as you cursed back before you took the last bite of your (f/f). You started to make you way into the living room. "Hah?"

"Oh? Is this your roomate, comrade?"

"Yas, this beautiful person over here is (Y/n), aka the other person you saw in that photo near the fireplace. 😍" Childe's smile faltered abit as he remembered how your bsf nearly made his skeleton jump by by saying that behind him. "Right..." But the moment he looked at you, his first thought was: "HOLY SHIT THEY LOOK MORE PRETTIER THAN THE PHOTO" He thought, not realizing he blushing like a fucking strawberry.

"Is bro ok...?" You almost had a hand on your mouth as you practically called one of the villians in the game one of the most casual terms you know.

"Nah. He'll be fineeee..."

☆

Eeeeeeee finally done!

【Part 7】

Published: July 2 2024. 3:21pm.

[underworld-park-offical]

PIP: Yes and I'll get the uhm

PIP: I'll get the uh

PIP: I’ll get

PIP: …

PIP: Lemme get ahhhh

PIP: Boneless Pizza 

PIP: And uh

PIP: Two liter of uh

PIP: Coke

HEIDI: …

HEIDI: The fuck kinda pizza?

HEDI: And the two liter machine broke, we got one liter tho

PIP: The fuck you mean B?

PIP: Alright look, 

PIP: Let me get that pizza BONELESS

HEIDI: Uh? Pizza don't got bone in it

PIP: Tf did I just say then

HEIDI: U said "Lemme get it BONELESS " like pizza got a damn bone in it

PIP: Y'all got BONES in ya shit then

HEIDI: Nah

PIP: So what's the problem?

HEIDI: DICK HEAD name one pizza that got bone on it

PIP: Just don't put them shits in my pizza bruh how many times I gotta say it

HEIDI: Bruh jus explain to me how tf pizza can be boneless?

PIP: If it don't got bone in it iss boneless

HEIDI: Son, what school u go to

PIP: dawg I don't understand the problem just make my shit BONELESS  DEADASS

HEIDI: I'm deadass not making this pizza…

PIP: Fine, then you deadass  better get me exactly what I want

PIP: Why are you so…

PIP: frumpy?

HEIDI: Excuse me?

PIP: You heard me

PIP: You won't even get me a boneless pizza 

PIP: How do you think that makes you look?

HEIDI: erm.

PIP: FRUMPY

HEIDI: You wanna play that way, huh?

HEIDI: Number 1, F = (m)(a) = (1000 kg)( 3 m/s²) =

3000 N.

PIP: What.

HEIDI: HMMMM a = F/a = 200 N / 2.5 m/s² = 80kg

PIP: Is there a manager I can speak to?

HEIDI: OHHH, YOU WANT THE ANSWERS  TO THE CROSSWORD ???

HEIDI: Ahem

HEIDI: One is centripetal, two is negative acceleration, three is plate tectonics, four is relative motion, five is slope—

PIP: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

HEIDI: SIX IS SPEED, SEVEN IS AVERAGE SPEED

PIP: WHAT'S EVEN THE GODDAMN DIFFERENCE?!

HEIDI: OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED!

HEIDI: AHEM

HEIDI: THE MITOCHONDRIA IS THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL PIP: CAN I JUST GET PIP: MY GODDAMN PIP: FOOD PLEASE

TWEEK: WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING NICE??? PIP: I AM BEING NICE!!

TWEEK: BY YELLING??? PIP: FUCK YOU RESPECTFULLY

HEIDI: OKAY FINE, I'LL GET YOU YOUR GODDAMN BONELESS PIZZA OR WHATEVER DUMB QUEER SHIT YOU ORDERED

HEIDI: What do you want you low budget Super Sonic?

TWEEK: Uh yeah uh

TWEEK: What's this thing?

HEIDI: Do you have are stupid?

TWEEK: …

TWEEK: What?

HEIDI: Do you.

HEIDI: Have are.

HEIDI: Stupid?

HEIDI: Bitch?

TWEEK: …

TWEEK: What

TWEEK: What nonsense are you speaking?

TWEEK: What

HEIDI: That is a MENU

HEIDI: Say it with me

HEIDI: MEN

HEIDI: U!

TWEEK: Oh! A Meenew!

TWEEK: Cool!

PIP: Ignore him, he’s an imbecile

TWEEK: Hey! I'm not…

PIP: Anyways, he’ll have a pudding

HEIDI: We don't serve pudding here

TWEEK: No… no pudding???

HEIDI: No sir, we don’t have pudding

TWEEK: ( starts to cry like a lil bitch )

HEIDI: …

HEIDI: We have jello?

TWEEK: IT'S NOT THE SAME!! WAHHHHH!!!

PIP: He’ll just take a coffee

TWEEK: I DON'T WANT COFFEE!! I WANT PUDDIN!!

PIP: Shut

PIP: The

PIP: FUCK UP!

PIP: (SLAP )

TWEEK: ( Ugly Crying )

HEIDI: O….

HEIDI: Kkkkkkayyyyy…

HEIDI: What does the walking fetus want?

PIP: The what?

HEIDI: The child

HEIDI: What can we get for your child?

TWEEK: Right! My

TWEEK: My child

TWEEK: …

TWEEK: Her names Silly String

HEIDI: Cool

HEIDI: Cool cool cool

HEIDI: What does… HEIDI: Silly String

HEIDI: Want to eat

TWEEK: Uh…

TWEEK: What do kids eat?

TWEEK: Do  kids even eat?

HEIDI: Yes, kids eat, captain obvious

PIP: Tweek she’s eating a crayon

TWEEK: Oh

TWEEK: …

TWEEK: Do kids eat crayons?

PIP: No

PIP: No they do not

HEIDI: Does

HEIDI: Does Silly String

HEIDI: Want the jello instead?

TWEEK: No

TWEEK: I'm not feeding her that garbage

PIP: Can we just get a round of tater tots?

PIP: Please

HEIDI: Sure

HEIDI: Whatever gets me to stop talking to you 

HEIDI: And whatever gets me paid 

PIP: Well! That went over nicely!

TWEEK: You slapped me

PIP: It's a start

TWEEK: No

TWEEK: It's really not 

PIP: I'm recovering

PIP: I'm changing

PIP: I'm metamorphosing

PIP: I'm evolving

TWEEK: …

TWEEK: Whatever

TWEEK: You seeing this shit, Silly String? 

SILLY STRING: ( Grunt of disapproval  )

PIP: What, so you’re getting your child to hate me too?

TWEEK: You  hate us

PIP: I mean

PIP: True

PIP: But I'm changing

TWEEK: Liar

PIP: Okay I'm lying

PIP: But Estella put me in a fucking time out

PIP: So I have to act  nice

PIP: Even though I really

PIP: REEEEALLY

PIP: Don’t want to be

SILLY STRING: ( confused grunt )

TWEEK: Estella's your grandma, Silly String 

SILLY STRING: ( surprised grunt )

PIP: Ugh

PIP: I hate Mum…

TWEEK: You see her as a mom too?

PIP: I

PIP: Uh

PIP: NO PIP: I NEVER SAID THAT

PIP: She's just so overprotective of us all the damn time

PIP: IT'S ANNOYING

TWEEK: SHhh

TWEEK: Don't shout!

TWEEK: There's people behind us…

TWEEK: Why the fuck are they looking at us like that?

PIP: It's the queer stare

PIP: They're harshly judging you

TWEEK: Oh god…

TWEEK: Heyyyyy

TWEEK: Silly String, say hi

SILLY STRING: ( excited grunting  )

TWEEK: You all look

TWEEK: SO  cool

TWEEK: Did you come from the Pride Parade?

TWEEK: Er- I mean…

TWEEK: Uh…

TWEEK: This is my son

TWEEK: …Daughter?

TWEEK: Child?

TWEEK: I don't know what Silly String is…

PIP: Didn’t you call her, “her ” earlier?

TWEEK: I mean,

TWEEK: YEAH

TWEEK: That doesn't mean I know

TWEEK: Wait

TWEEK: What are  you, Silly String?

SILLY STRING: ( I don't know grunt )

PIP: It's a mystery!

PIP: How are you all this lovely evening?

PIP: Just SWELL I presume?

TWEEK: Pip your eye is twitching

PIP: IT'S HAPPY SEIZING!!!

TWEEK: No… no pretty sure it's twitching

PIP: HAPPY. SEIZING. I'M SO JOYFUL I'M EXPRESSING IT THROUGH MY EYE!

TWEEK: …Sure…

(Edits made by @pissblanket and @zemoleinyourtrashcan)

[sapphire-weapon]

I'm gonna have anon off for a while.

Ring anon from last night ruined it for everyone LMAO

Asking about something stupid is one thing

Asking me to invest time to research something that I'm not entirely sure of is another

But when I waste like an hour of my life looking for something because you refuse to give me actual context for a question because you very likely haven't actually played the game you're asking about

And the payoff at the end of that search turns out to be the intellectual equivalent of getting rickrolled because it's THAT FUCKING STUPID and you would've KNOWN it was stupid if you'd actually just played the game and seen the context for yourself instead of immediately running to me

Especially when I have asked you guys REPEATEDLY to not send me things like that or ask me about them

No. You lose asking privileges.

That shit deadass ruined my night bruh LMAO

[zacharyleartist69]

YO! So I wanted to rant a little about something; I finally read Long Live the Pumpkin Queen.

!Spoilers Warning if you haven’t read the book yet!

I’ve been holding back on reading it since I was like procrastinating but since a good friend of my sister gave it to me might as well read it and… I have thoughts lmao.

Just be known, this is just my opinion and that is it no hard feelings if you don’t like my feelings towards this book then scroll away:

First off, I love the interaction between Sally and Jack since it started off with them getting married and going to their honeymoon to Valentine Town. However, as soon as Jack and Sally got home, they were BOMBARDED with Halloween stuff since this takes place two weeks before Halloween. Sally was so pressured by the whole queen business that she try to talk to Jack about it but got the “we will talk about this later” line… BRO.

Because of this, Sally fled to the woods where all the holiday doors are at and destroy the queenly dress and crown she was wearing and fled deeper in the woods with Zero following her. Upon this, she discovers a hidden tree with a door on it that shaped like a moon. Curiosity got the best of her and she ended up opening it only to get blast by the scent of lavender and other smells that would put people to sleep. She was about to go in, but since the book takes place after the events of the movie Zero got that trauma moment and try to drag Sally away from it trying to protect her. He ended up succeeding and fled away with her arm in his mouth and she chases after her… leaving the door open 😞.

The next day arrives and everyone was deadass sleep- hell even Jack is asleep. But there is something that everyone has that Sally saw every time she stumbles around them; Sand.

Sand everywhere dude and soon we were introduced to the Sandman himself. The way they describe him was so fucking ominous that I got fucking chills from it. This motherfucker did not hesitate to put not only the whole Halloween town to sleep, BUT ALSO THE OTHER HOLDAY TOWNS. Bro went to work Fr fr lmao. Now he’s hunting down Sally to put her to sleep so she try to find a way to stop him.

With the Sandman free and everything, Sally needs to know where Sandman came from so she traveled to Dream Town after talking to a leprechaun (which by the way it’s in sight on how he talked to Sally).

Bro the way they describe Dream Town was so fucking detailed- like Shi I want to be there and sleep almost all day fuck. But when we get to the section of meeting the governors, everything fell apart for me. The governors names are Greta and Albert which was pretty cool. Then they dropped the biggest bombshell for me; These two were Sally’s biological fucking parents. The way I GAGGED at this part of the book so hard that I had to put the book down and process what I just read. Sally got parents. Like actual biological parents. I have mixed feelings about that bro Fr fr. Anyways, they had a little family moment until Sally asked them about stopping Sandman and everything… bro… Tell me why instead of helping her, her parents ended up chopping down the groven trees, where she came through by the WAY, to keep sandman out of the Dream Town… BRO!

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ALL ABOUT?????

I was so fucking mad bro on my mama I was so mad that I almost stopped reading cause of how stupid it was. But I pressed on because I was curious on how it will turn out since Sally discovers a way to stop the Sandman. She has to put him into a deep sleep that’s all. But now she can’t fucking go back to Halloween town cause her parents chopped down the trees like come on bruh.

At a desperate attempt, Sally manages to convince her parents to let her go home and so they show her the way to go to the human realm in their world so that she can go to a cemetery to go back to Halloween Town (wow that’s a mouthful). The funniest thing ever is that Sally ended up in Queen Elizabeth the Second’s place and got inspiration from her to keep going good for her.

Finally she made it out of the human realm and made it to Halloween town and start working on a potion to put Sandman to sleep, but she has to lure him somehow. She had a bad bitch moment where she stands up against the Sandman as soon as he discovers her and fell in the fountain with the help of Zero. Now that the sandman is asleep, everyone started to wake up and Jack and Sally had a reunion moment which was so fucking CUTE SICJSNXKANXN.

Out of no where, Greta and Albert ended up popping up in Halloween town after Sally showed Jack the door to Dream Town and met up with the other Halloween residents hovering over the sleeping Sandman. Albert gets points for saying the funniest line ever like homie was like “yeah throw him off the cliff!”. Until The Sandman woke up and he became nice????? Like all this time he just needed to sleep… okay buddy 😭

In the end, Sally adjusted to her new life as a Pumpkin Queen with Jack by her side and live happily ever after.

Also Doctor Finklestein gets banished for hundreds of years kidnapping Sally and making her forget where she belongs, bro was desperate Fr fr 💀.

In conclusion, I think this book is pretty neat and have moments where I practically enjoyed reading but some not so much. At some point I was getting frustrated that Sally was written like a stereotypical protagonist that beats themselves to hard to the point they cry themself too much like come on bro. But either way I have to give props to the author for making her a badass near the end of the book.

Over all I give it a solid 8/10, it’s a good book would read it some time to time but when I feel like reading again lmao.

I can’t fucking wait to read “Sally’s lament” when it comes out this October the cover looks sick and the “What If” was so fucking clever.

[wendytestabrat]

the episode that ruined changed kyle's character

i swear we gotta talk abt the episode “toilet paper” bc i feel like s7 was the season that rlly changed kyle’s character, and it’s ESPECIALLY evident in this episode. prior to season 7 (mainly seasons 1-3) kyle was a toxic piece of shit with no guilt or remorse whatseoever and was even worse than cartman LOL. like there was soooo much terrible shit kyle did in the early seasons like threatening to break cartman’s head open in “cow days” and forcing him to ride a bull AFTER HE JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL over some terrance and phillip dolls and then in “fat camp” him and stan torment and exploit kenny by making him do all this gross shit to make money off of him and i could go on and on. but then out of nowhere in s7 they changed kyle to the sanctimonious up his ass person he is today who only cares abt taking the moral high ground and stopping cartman above all else. it’s like bruh how did kyle go from being a sociopathic maniac who has no problem harming others to getting upset over literally just TPing someone’s house? LOL i swear in the episode kyle is deadass LOSING SLEEP and can’t live with himself over something so trivial and stupid. ok yeah it’s wrong to TP someone’s house but he acts like this is the worst possible thing anyone could do to someone, when it’s just harmless prank a lot of kids pull (at least back in the day when kids used to actually know how to have fun, now all of them are on their phones). like oh nooooo this family has toilet paper all over their house and has to get it all off it’s TRAGIC. it’s like kyle has done way more atrocious shit that actually harmed people so i don’t get why that’s the one thing that breaks him and makes him go through a moral dilemma LOL. AND ALSO there was this moment in “the ring” when i had re-watched it not too long ago of kyle TPing a house with stan and cartman and he’s all happy and doing it with 0 hesitation. so yeah that was inconsistent AF and just makes the “toilet paper” episode look dumb.

[turnedpalefromlackofsun]

TELL US THE STORY

Ok ok

So

I was saying the worst head empty moment I've had*

*That I can remember

Was this one time during an exam when I wrote my dad's name on my exam because I forgot mine. I didn't even realize, I was like hmmmm name. What names do I know? Automatically wrote my dad's name.

So a couple weeks go by and I still didn't realize that was a mess up because I was just going over the answers in my head like yeah I got that one. Got that one. Ooooof I only did that one partially correct. So if the professor gives half credit for half correct work and then a baseline 5% for an attempt --

All that good stuff right

Exams get graded and I get a 0. I was like WHAT? NO!! I can argue my points back right now! Tf they think I did? Cheat? I can resolve the the paper right now! I'm gonna fight!

And the professor goes "oh is this yours?" That's when I noticed that wasn't even my name and I was like "oh yeah thats mine that's my dad's name"

And this guy goes. This guy deadass asks me "how do I know your dad didn't take your exam"

BROTHER!!!! YOU WERE THERE!!! DID YOU SEE A 50 YEAR OLD MAN???

And I was ready for some knowledge test or retaking the test or getting grilled or whatever. This mf who is the professor who was there!!! He asked me HOW DOES HE KNOW MY DAD DIDNT TAKE THE EXAM????

Its so over. So I was like, bro I can call my dad right now. And also my dad doesn't even know my field of study. But whatever I'll call him. And so I called my dad on video call and the professor goes "yeah I don't recall seeing him there but he could've been sitting in the back" IS THIS GUY FR? bro is CRAZY!!

so I was like damn this guy is a brick. OK then, what if I brought back eye witnesses? People who were sitting next to me? And do you know what he said to that

He said I could've bribed other students to pretend I was there.

And I was like ooooooh shit this guy is an absolute brick and if he's not convinced, he's gonna report me for academic dishonesty.

No ok. See. For some reason at this point, both me and the professor forgot that he had 6 TAs there acting as proctors for all sections of the rook. I didn't notice them so I forgot they existed.

I deadass have no idea why the professor didn't know this. Maybe he was testing me? But bruh! I was taking the test! Why should I notice anything?

So I'm in my TA section and I'm like brooooo the professor is gonna beat my ass I'm gonna fail and then die. And the TA was like if it's academic dishonesty just confess. And I was like noooooo the professor doesn't even believe I was there. I couldn't say the full reason because I think it's hard to believe that a person can be this

Head full of bubbles

And she was like oh is that it? I saw you.

And then I'm sure I said something stupid in response to learning this and then they started checking student IDs for future exams and everything got resolved.

And I started writing my name as the last thing on my exams so I can use my entire brainpower to remember.

The end

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

TODAY ON Me Never Shutting TF Up About OrangeJuiceVerse:

Let’s talk abt the Disaster Duo.

Aka Kenny McCormick and Stan Marsh. These two… smh they really are each other’s enablers (as Ky pointed out here) in all things. Naturally, I have headcanons that haven’t seen the light of day yet.

Aight so if u know the ojverse, you know that our sweet leading man Stanley Marsh absolutely thinks of Kenny as his Blood Brother In Desperation (someone get this man (me) away from FOB’s discography) and the platonic stenny bond is SO real. They’re always down to do stupid shit together and are 100% the reason Kyle has high blood pressure.

Kenny, on more than one occasion, has done some shit like gone up to Stan like “hey dude you wanna climb the water tower” and Stan didn’t even question it he was just “sure why not” when I say Marj and Kyle were sooo pissed bc Kenny fell off the ladder and knocked Stan off too on the way down lmfao these two idiots were in so much trouble for hurting themselves in a completely avoidable way.

Oh my GOD they set shit on fire all the time out here trying to start a grill because they’ve dubbed themselves the “grillmasters” and then suddenly Stan has no arm hairs. BOTH of them have threatened to drink lighter fluid at minor inconveniences.

As referenced here, Kenny, as a true weirdo artist boy (I’m projecting) once mixed acetone and resin INDOORS (he and Stan were drunk and not thinking) and the fumes were so strong that Stan deadass passed out and it was soooo stupid Kyle was so mad at them. With bigger projects throughout their ENTIRE lives if Ken is like building a big ass sculpture or sum he’s going to Stan and like Cartman will go out to the backyard of the Survivor House to see them dangling from the roof to get the top parts on and just sends a pic in the groupchat to get them in trouble smh

Oh my god I’ve mentioned that Stan had a parkour phase in middle school (referenced here) and who was with him trying to do backflips and vault over walls? Kenneth. This one time they were like “dude we should expand our gymnastics skills” “oh yeah for sure” and they started trying to do that two person cartwheel thing and they THOUGHT they got it down and went to show Kyle but they completely busted their asses like landing in a tangle of limbs and shit (Kenny died) bruh Kyle was SO fuckin mad like “THE FUCK ARE YALL DOIN THAT IN THE STREET FOR” and Stan was all “uhhh cuz it’s a flat stretch of ground? Duh” dumbasses

Canonically in the OrangeJuiceVerse these two are both school mascots (Stan only for the season Kenny played basketball, Kenny through the entirety of hs) and have stupid signature moves that they do in the “stank ass cow suit”. Like Kenny literally gets shot out of a cannon to kickoff football games and Stan does flips that are seriously not safe with the low visibility in a mascot head they actually have no sense of self preservation until someone gets hurt. Ohhh my god one time at a football game Stan was benched for whatever reason and he was BORED so he’s bothering Marj and Kenny and the other cheerleaders and he was full on “wait Ken stand on my shoulders and find Ky in the crowd” so they’re walking around the track like that (stunt buddies at their peak) and no one is watching the game they’re just distracted by whatever tf these two have going on and then the coach notices and is like “goddamnit MARSH! Get on the field!” Smh mans got unbenched for his own safety how ironic

As kids? No one went harder playing superheroes than these two. Cartman may have been the one leaning too hard into the “marketing” side of things (“fatass you can’t call yourself that! It’s a fucking slur!”) but Stan and Kenny were out here terrorizing construction sites bc there was so much cool shit to climb

Even as adults the shenanigans don’t stop dude Stan and Kyle drove over to the city to see Ken and Marj and Ky woke up in the middle of the night and Stan wasn’t there he went to get Marj “dude wake up the guys are gone” guess where the Disaster Duo was? Trying to get into a closed water park by digging under the fence. Yes they were in Trouble.

And when they’re older and Stan’s sober so you’d think he’d be slightly less inclined to do dumb shit? NOPE! He and Kenny are going WAY too hard at paintball and Stan falls off the top of an obstacle bc he was in “sniping mode” and “it’s like irl Fortnite!”

On their own? These two are fairly tame with some exceptions. Together? Someone needs an emergency room.

[fapper]

Bruh i was deadass sleeping and skipping class bc i have a terrible cold and this mf PROFESSOR GENUINELY LITERALLY CALLS ME AND ASKED ME TO COME TO CLASS BRUHHHHHHHHHH. I was like ??????? I was genuinely so shocked like . Now im here coughing and this stupid fawking class has to deal w me coughing

[kafkaoftherubble]

这知己真的... 偶尔真想一手一把糖果、一手一巴掌送你！！！

I'm glad that our 知己 finally made a personal blog so Future Lyns can reblog art from them and show off in this garden.

Oh, it sure sounded really gratifying, alright. "I made this just for you!" said bruh. Even the blog name was a reference to the first nickname Previous Lyn gave them.

Oh yes! Very placated! And the first thing you reblogged is my HikaNatsu art which you deadass strongarmed me into making, by the way. That's so swE——

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Why is that stupid song YOUR HEADER?! AAAAHHH GET IT OUT OF MY HEAAAAAAD!

Why is your profile picture FUCKING SHINJI?! I told you I HATE THAT PIECE OF SHIT! LIKE BRUH I HATE HIM, his voice is not cute, he is not cute, he's pathetic, he's shit! He's—*unintelligible*

Oh, but then I went to see the actual website form of the blog, which will be what we see whenever we ghost-read their shit, and LO AND BEHOLD:

AND EVEN BIGGER IMAGE OF SHINJI WITH A FUCKING PHONE.

Like bruh, do you know how much I wish I can strangle BOTH OF YOU with that phone cord? Why, of all the pictures, you pick this one?! Because I can get a full-frontal assault of his stupid face?!

Also, since when does he have a watch?! That lowkey made me think of Hikaru and his watch and I don't appreciate it! I DON'T! AAHHHHH! I WANNA WATCH EVA I MEAN I JUST WANNA GET EVA OVER WITH ALREADY, RELEASE ME GODDAMN IT!

secretly bookmarked this blog and pinned it on both my desktop browser on Atom and on Zelda's browser

--

After the shit that happened on Monday (check the diary entry titled "5th of June, 2024"), I can't say this didn't bring a smile to my face. Nah, it brought way more. Way, way more. Thanks, Your Princeliness.

I've only compared you to Yoshiki so far, but woooooooow. Don't even pretend to be confused if I start comparing you to Shinji 'cause your ass fucking begged for it.

The proof is in this blog! Least Lyn-placating blog you've ever made. It's as if my colonoscopy's anesthesia is a Red Bull popsicle administered from the bottom.

[lady-lycany]

One thing I could've bit my supervisor for today was, when I told her, that I'm not looking forward to work from 8am-4pm cuz I'll arrive around 5pm at home, will eat something and then have to go to sleep immediately, cuz being social will rob all my strength, and that I won't have no free time for stuff that's important to me. And that woman literally says "I thought you're nocturnal, you can do all the stuff you like at night" and my mom and I look at each other, absolutely confused, look back over to her and say at the same time "When the hell am I supposed to sleep then?!?!?!" 😀 That btch was deadass serious with that sentence, and I was like bruh are you for fckn real?

Sorry, had to vent about that quick cuz I still can't believe it lmao

Now something positive, besides her stupidity she at least seems to do her job now and really helps with a lot of stuff that can make my life easier in the future.

[pedroscardigan]

off the bat XO, Kitty has a lot of potential. i saw where they were going with it, they tried so hard to make it like a kdrama, where you think one thing, or miscommunication trope, or the enemies x lovers trope, or the villain is actually a good person: all that aside, it failed in many ways. the miscommunication thing was a lot. it made me not really ship dae and her at all. like AT ALL. throughout this whole struggle for her to get to him, and finally end up with him, it felt like uGh bruh are we deadass?? their breakup was ill timed too, but i loved the ending speech. (i have not finished the last episode because i refuse to watch her board that plane)

i had a hard time shipping dae with her in the first place which i think the writers did intentionally because they wanted the audience to engage with the other possible people: Yuri and Min Ho. and you can see the appeal off the bat. i think the bumping into people trope got way too lost in the sauce, and Yuri letting her into the car just cause was absolutely stupid: to sell a “bad girl” villain, you gotta do better but they kept making you want to like her so it was obvious right off the bat we needed to keep an open mind about her. and then, min ho, he was our straight bait. like off the bat every audience member can say without a doubt that min ho is sexy asf. i can say it. we all can tell. he was obviously the other catch. the run in at the grocery store, the cooking for her, the giving her space thing, that was what sold it.

what this show did was rush things, yes. a lot of the tropes are cliche and a bit run, but what the show did succeed on was make the characters lovable. dae is adorable. his soft voice and endearing smile, and Q being the sweet one who happens to be an athlete and our bby gay, and min ho who is like a cat, where once he warms up to you, he lets you pet him, and yuri being our badass lesbian goddess: all these characters great. showing how some koreaboo went to KISS and the show making fun of that was good, but there were times where she was on screen and it was unbearable, like ugh, poor actress who had to play this :( , but also i loved the soundtrack, like these bitches paid MONEY for blackpink and itzy to pop up.

i feel like they rushed though all and all. but i will say this and it might be unpopular. i’m queer and i loved that kitty was figuring herself out. i needed that. it healed something in me because she realized at 17. i was closeted and pushed away my feelings for a girl being petty or feeling a tummy butterflies thing till like college. so this? was relatable af. yet, i still chose to ship min ho x kitty. why? because netflix set it up that way. you KNOW yuri is head strong. she’s after julianna and like the show kept saying, not everything is on kitty’s timetable. kitty getting rejected is bound to happen. i’m glad she fell for yuri and the connected on such a deep level: that’s a real crush and real feelings, but you see the parallels to peter kavinsky and min ho. the mom thing, the suddenly knows things about you, the “not surface level” deep, the “id rather move on with a koreaboo than face my feelings for my friends ex, and even when they get together, i still avoid my feelings because that’s what i do as a troubled lead man” thing. i ship them, i’m sorry. and i hate myself for it but i do ship it.

—my hypothesis is that something next season is gonna happen between kitty having to choose between Yuri and Min Ho. do i agree with this tho? no. —

i disagree with how netflix set up this ship. they give her bi awakening and already set her up for the straight ship. that’s why i’m not surprised. that’s why i knew to ship min ho and kitty together. netflix may say they are for the ppl but they will give the bare minimum. and this is not to say that this makes kitty less bi, no it doesn’t, and this is not to shame bi babes who are in heteronormative relationships, but it’s a reflection and call out to how netflix shaped this. if next season she doesn’t end up with yuri, you know why.

i’m rambling now. but my main point was that they rushed things. they rushed all these deep moments, they added too many plot twists in the season like a kdrama does (but kdramas actually make it good), and they rushed the way people fell for each other. i wish there was a bigger backstory to julianna and how they fell in love . how dae knew the comfort sock thing, the reason why min ho had divorced parents: how that affected him, and making Q a bit more dimensional. i hate when they include a gay character and only make it about them being gay. you only see him date florian, you don’t really get to know Q outside of his quest for Florian and his relationship with him. and even the talks he had with kitty were revolved around men. like bffr. i loved his character on Love, Victor and the undersold Anthony’s acting abilities in this one :(

overall i needed more from this show and i will finish the remaining minutes soon, but yeah. i think kitty’s bi experience was exceptional and beautiful, but the way that the show is setting up it’s love interests, you can see where this shit is going. i’m hoping kitty ends up with yuri, but at the end of the day i know it’s gonna be min ho, and he was played so well and became such a likeable character that i don’t mind shipping it and that’s when the inner conflict is where it doesn’t change the fact that kitty might be bi or pan, but that netflix acknowledges is and still sets her up in a heteronormative society welcomed relationship instead of the one like Yuri’s pushing the boundaries of South Korea one step at a time with interracial love and lesbianism <3

[sea-dukes-assistant]

I hate to bring it up because literally it’s all everyone in the fandom is talking about (and you do not have to post this anon if you do not want to) but dammit I want apologies and condolences to the Philip fans for us having to fight off “Philip is the one who made the racist comment” for 2 years straight after them not only stating flat out in that *exact same interview* that it wasn’t ever him or QE11 but now them completely denouncing that they said the BRF was racist at all.

We were deadass fighting those narratives with our bare hands. Props to us.

Bruh I wanted an apology the IMMEDIATE SECOND this trainwreck said "Nah it wasn't granddad."

Because let me tell you *pauses to drink beer* I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH THIS SHIT FOR 10 FUCKING YEARS, including being accused myself for even liking Sea Duke.

But yeah everyone just assumed it was Sir that said it because that has how the press has always painted him; it's always been a coordinated character assassination campaign from Day 1.

And EVEN STILL, with his fucknut grandson this ENTIRE FUCKING FANDOM WAS SPREADING THEIR LEGS FOR continuously doing things like wearing AN SS UNIFORM IN PUBLIC, ain't nobody out here being like "Oh shit, my bad. That was shitty and I was wrong."

I dunno if it's a thing where the women sucking his dick on here are just embarrassed as fuck (as they should be), or just not wanting to apologize to the "stupid drunk" that "simps for/idolizes" the man they hate (and by association, the stranger running the blog about the man they hate) or what...which by the way if anyone wants to apologize to me, by all means, nut the fuck up and be a goddamn adult.

I can't help but sit here with my beer like

as this fandom goes up in flames because their precious baby boy is not at all who he was packaged as.

That sounded really angry, and yes, I feel I have a right to be. If I hadn't been dealing with it (specifically on a personal level) for so long I'd be less Bothered™, but alas...idiots like to project onto me as if I have control over anything Sir says or does (which shows that my "role" as his assistant is in fact, a fun creative exercise and nothing more). Anyway I really needed to get that out so thanks for giving me the opportunity, and I'm glad to see I'm the only one out here like

with respect to any sort of apology or correction of thought.