#BUT HONESLTY THIS WAS SO FUN TO COLOR | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unknownwriting · 3 years

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Hiiiii, can I request of Ace survived b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ f̶u̶c̶k̶ A̶k̶a̶i̶n̶u̶ and his s/o was pregnant with his child then after 2 years of time skip (they don't know Ace survived) can please Luffy & Sabo reunited with Ace, to his s/o and child and having family moments 🥺🥺🥺 👉👈

ｓｕｍｍａｒｙ- requested ^^

ｗｏｒｄｃｏｕｎｔ - 2.9 k, i honeslty could write a whole book

ｓｏｎｇｉｎｓｐｏ- i love you - billie eilish

ｃｈａｒａｃｔｅｒｓ - Portgas D. Ace, Sabo, Monkey D. Luffy

ｗａｒｎｉｎｇｓ - None :)

ａ/ｎ- my sense of time is fucked. I could’ve swore it was Tuesday...but i still had a lot of fun writing this. I cried half the time but Ace 🥺🥺 so I hope you enjoy

(unedited)

“The weeds!! The weeds Luffy!! Not the flowers!” (Y/n) shouted as she leaned out the kitchen window. Even then Luffy still began to yank out the barely budding roses. For as much as he wanted to do the garden, Luffy sucks at it. (Y/n) eyes trailed over to the small pile of weeds and roses, where Luffy continued to toss the roses in. Let out a heavy sigh, (Y/n) called out to him again, “Luffy! Not the roses!”

“Huh?” Luffy hummed as he looked up and around before finally making eye contact with (Y/n). She scoffed at her absent-minded brother-in-law as she stated again,

“Your weeding the weeds, not the roses.”

“Eh? But they all look the same?” Luffy hummed as he looked back to the pile of weeds and roses then back to the rosebuds in his hands.

“See the little green ball on top of that the stem, those are roses that have yet to bloom. Those need to stay in the ground so they can bloom, what your getting is the other green plants.” (Y/n) explained as she pointed down the weeds that surrounded the roses. Luffy’s eyes followed as he began to finally see the difference between the 2. And with a chuckle, Luffy had gone back to work pulling out only the weeds this time. (Y/n) scoffed once again as she leaned back from the window and turned around on her heel and looked back at her blonde brother-in-law. She was so grateful for Sabo and Luffy. They sat through everything with her and supported her throughout it too. Keeping her safe and healthy when she found out about Ace’s death, being there to help her through her pregnancy even sitting with her through her labor, and even now they still come and visit her regularly, checking up on her and her family. The trio of brothers are the best people she has ever met. Brightening her smile, she shook her head and began to walk past them.

“Ya’know for as much as Luffy wanted to do the garden, you’d think he’s at least how to do it.” (Y/n) sighed as she made her way next to Sabo at the table. She had taken a spot right next to him and picked up the pair of pants she was stitching back together. Sabo continued to shuffle through some paper as he glanced over at (Y/n) and chuckled.

“Well, you pretty much banned him from doing anything else. The garden is the only thing Luffy can do now.” Sabo pointed out, taking the pile of papers in his hands and setting them to the side, then began working on the other pile.

“...It’s his fault for being so reckless. If he’s your brother you should’ve raised him better.” (Y/n) huffed, cutting the string off the pants and tying them up. (Y/n) was currently fixing a pair of Estelle’s pants that were destroyed when he and Luffy were playing. It wouldn’t be a big of a problem if it wasn’t one of Estelle’s good pants. It was one of the best days Estelle had though, so it was easy for (Y/n) not to get too mad.

“Ace was the one who was the closest to him. I lost my memories although that time.” Sabo answered, as his gaze shifted down to the paperwork

“Looks like Imma have to call Ace out on that then-”

“Mama!!” A loud voice had shouted as the door to the small house swung open and a small (h/c) colored child had rushed in. (Y/n) was quick to drop the pants and open her arms to greet home her child.

“Estelle! Welcome back, baby.” (Y/n) smiled brightly as she gave a huge hug to her child. Estelle giggled and happily hugged back. Estelle wasn’t gone for long, only about 3 hours but it was easy to tell that he missed his mom. He definitely takes after his dad, being a very family-orientated person. Standing up from her chair, she pulled away from Estelle yet keeping him on her hip, she smiled, “We’re you nice to Doctor Cherry?”

“Yeah, she even gave me a candy.” Estelle proudly shouted as he stuck out his tongue and showed (Y/n) its blue color.

“Wow, You must’ve been such a good boy. I bet Dcotor Cherry was happy to spend the day with you.” (Y/n) smiled, as she set Estelle back on the floor and looked up at the red-haired lady that stood at the door.

“Of course, Estelle’s one of my best patients.” Cherry smiled as she looked down at Estelle. Estelle giggled loudly as grinned up from his mother's side. Cherry was another person who stood by (Y/n) when she was going through such a hard time, helping (Y/n) nurse back to health and helped a lot with the pregnancy. She was another that was close like family. As Cherry took a step into the house, she had opened her mouth to speak again but Sabo and Luffy were quick to interrupt.

“You’re not even gonna say hi to your uncles. Estelle, you make us so sad.” Sabo teased as he and Luffy walked up to join (Y/n). Quickly turning around to the sound of the voices, Estelle smiled brightly again.

“Uncle Sabo, Uncle Luffy!!” Estelle shouted as he jumped into their arms. The boys were quick to hug back and spoil Estelle in all types of affections. (Y/n) smiled at the view, that's one of the many things that she wants Estelle to learn that no matter what family is always important. With Estelle already being a very family-oriented person, it seemed that (Y/n) didn’t have much of a lesson to teach. Giggling to herself, (Y/n) turned back to Cherry to see what she was gonna say early. Once Cherry had seen that (Y/n) was back on her, she began again,

“Someone was asking around for you early today. I’m not sure who, but he seemed almost desperate.” Cherry explained as she watched (Y/n) face twist into shock and just for a moment, there was a huge flash of hope in her eyes that seemed to cloud her judgment for a moment. It was for a brief moment, but even with that flash of hope Cherry could tell that (Y/n) wants, more like needs, to see who it is.

“Asking for (Y/- Ow!!” Sabo hisses as he quickly pulled his arm towards him and began to rub the red spot that Estelle pinched, “He’s still in his pinching phase? I thought we were over that.”

“With Estelle? Of course not, he still goes around pinching everything and everyone. I’ve been trying to get him to stop but he doesn’t want to. I’m surprised that you thought he grew ou-”

“Ow, ow, ow, ow!! My nipples!!” Luffy cried as he pushed Estelle away from him. With the pain still written over his face, Luffy cupped his nipples and hissed. (Y/n) laughed as she watched Luffy sit there trying to soothe the pain running through him.

“Yeah no, he’s still pinching.” (Y/n) laughed before her, and Sabo, both turned back to Cherry and continued to question her.

“Who’s looking for (Y/n)?” Sabo questioned. It was easy to tell that his overprotectiveness was kicking him. The only response that Sabo got from Cherry was a shrug and then slowly walking out of the house as if to lead the others. Sabo then turned to look at (Y/n) asking the same question to which (Y/n) only ended up shrugging too.

“I’m not sure. Sail with Ace and Whitebeard-san I’ve met a lot of people, so I don’t know.”

Sabo hummed in response as he began to follow Cherry outside. Something inside of (Y/n) made her so anxious, but something has her heart racing, palms sweating, and her legs aching. Something about this guest just had her body aching, as if she couldn’t sit still. In the back of her mind, a small voice continued to echo, but there was no way it could be true. He’s dead, he passed away 2 years ago. Last time (Y/n) you can’t raise the dead either. So with one last shaky sigh, (Y/n) began to make her way out the door and towards Sabo and Cherry. Trying to push back her feelings, it’s like this every time, always getting her hopes up only for them to come crashing down. She tries to keep her cool.

“So, does it look like anyone we know?” (Y/n) questioned, as she took a spot next to Sabo’s side. Sabo let out a small grunt as he squinted his eyes to see the figure. (Y/n) had followed suit. Just at the bottom of the hill stood a man with broad shoulders. He looked around confused as he stumbled around the bottom of the hill. A soft laugh left her lips as she watched him, he looks so out of place.

“I-I-I….I don’t wanna jump to conclusions here, (Y/n), but doesn’t that look like-“

It didn’t take long for the man to make eye contact with the 2 at the top of the hill. He starred for a moment as if he was taking in the view before he smiles brightly and slowly began to make his way up. As if the world has stopped around (Y/n). That smile. That was the same smile that started this whole adventure, that made her happy even on the saddest days, that was the same smile that she fell in love with. It was hard to believe. As if time itself has stopped, (Y/n) stood there speechless. She couldn’t even muster a sound or a reaction. Something like this never happens, maybe one in a million but last time she checked the skeleton on Luffy’s crew was the one. This was impossible, it had to be a prank or something. This couldn’t be happening and just as (Y/n) had open her mouth and rat at the person standing below them a laugh echoed through the field. It was real, this is all real. That laugh was one she couldn’t and wouldn’t forget. That laugh belongs to her later lover,

“Ace.” Breathlessly and barely above a whisper was all she could do. She was scared if she said it any loud she would have started to cry right there. (Y/n) began to inch forwards slowly trying to wake her body up and tell it to move. God, if only she could wake it up faster. Soon enough those baby steps turn into bigger ones then fast ones, then finally she was running. She was running as fast as her feet could carry her down the hill. Tears swiftly fell from her eyes as she made her way to her lover. Maybe dreams do come true. After all these days, weeks, months of wishing, her wish came true. And even now it’s better than what she wished for.

Not being able to stop herself and not even trying to, (Y/n) jumped straight into Ace’s warm embrace for the first time in years. Automatically (Y/n) inhales deeply taking in Ace’s smell of burnt ambers and sunk deeper into his strong and warm embrace. By now she couldn’t help the waterworks from coming. Neither could Ace, the 2 of them held each other close, taking in each other scent and loving embrace. As if this moment latest forever, the 2 of them didn’t let go for as long as they could. However, (Y/n) can only cry so much into his shoulder before taking a deep breath. So barely pulling away and with a red-eyed and snot-filled face, (Y/n) smiled as she tried to speak up the loudest and clearest she could.

“Y-y-y-your… you’re alive!! Ace is alive. Your alive!!” (Y/n) cried as she tried to call out to the others however your attention was all on Ace. She was scared that if she looked away he would disappear, so she kept her around him and locked her eyes with his.

“I’m alive. I’m really alive.” Ace sobbed back keeping his eyes locked with (Y/n)’s. She didn’t even care if his voice has reached them, she doesn’t want it to reach them. All she wants is to be with Ace now. Smiling through her tears, she pulled her hand up to Ace’s cheeks and began to rub her thumb against his freckled cheeks feeling his rough skin against hers. Ace, still through his tears, smiled and hummed as he leads into her hand, enjoying the softness and warmth her hands had provided. This moment should last forever, they both wished. Just as (Y/n) has dropped her hand to his chest and was able to lean in to kiss his lips that she wanted to feel and taste once again, 2 pairs of very loud footsteps came behind them. Before the 2 of them could even react, 2 bodies came crashing down onto them.

“Ace!!” The 2 of them sobbed as all of the 4 bodies fell over in the grass. Both Luffy’s and Sabo’s sobs could be heard for miles, like (Y/n) and Ace, they couldn’t hold back their tears. So all 4 of them laid on the ground and just sobbed, they couldn’t do anything else. Each one of them held onto the other with such an iron grip, it was hard to breathe but nobody wanted to move. The only time they moved was when Ace pulled back and started at Sabo for a while trying to figure out who it was.

“S-s...sabo. Y-you’re alive too?!!” Ace gasped as he could feel more tears falling. Sabo looked up and smile at him, nodding. And Just with that simple nod both of the boys began to cry even harder and the hug got tighter. This whole hug was a mess, they were all crying loudly. People in the village soon came to even check on them but none of them cared. After 2 years each of their dreams had come true and nothing else mattered.

“Welcome home, Ace.”

“Luffy don’t-!” (Y/n) tried to protest all she wanted, but as soon as she had put down the food, Luffy was all over it. And taking after his uncle, Estelle was right there digging into the food with Luffy. Let a heavy sigh past her lips as she walked back into the kitchen to get the rest of the food.

“Oi! Luffy save some for us!!” Ace’s voice rang through the house as a loud thump followed along with Luffy groaning in pain. Like music to her ears, hearing Ace’s voice once again causes (Y/n) so much happiness and relief. Having her black-haired lover back is the best feeling in the world.

After all 4 of them had somehow managed to stop the tears, they didn’t spend a moment from each other. Where ever one went the others always followed because they were all scared that if they left then Ace would disappear. Although, out of the whole reunion, being able to reunite Estelle with his father was the best part. Luckily he’s only 2 so things weren’t awkward and he was able to quickly adapt to Ace. Being again to finally introduce Ace to his son and Estelle to his father was by far the best part. It only made (Y/n) cry even more.

“Hey, Daddy you can’t hit Uncle Luffy. Mama will get mad at you.” Estelle laughed as he waved around the bone. Even the word was foreign to Ace, it still took him a while to get used to even being a dad. But after staring at Estelle for a moment, just taking in the fact that Estelle’s actually his kid. Ace chuckled and smiled.

“Oh, will she now? Last time I check, I think I can handle your mother when she’s angry.” Ace chuckled as he leads back in his chair and crossed his arms. She could cry just looking at him. After all these years he hasn’t changed a bit. Messy black hair, freckled skin, a huge smile that could light up the room. The only thing that had changed, was the giant burn mark on his stomach. It was huge and very upsetting but it’s not like Ace didn’t have scars from before. With one last shaky breath, (Y/n) pushed back any sadness she had and quickly replaced it with joy. There is no way (Y/n) was gonna be sad.

“You better think again fire boy.” (Y/n) had stated as she hit the back of his head while she took a seat next to him at the table. Ace hissed at the pain while Estelle laughed in response. Sabo and Luffy were quick to follow in suit. All their laughter sounded like music to her ear. There really wasn’t anything else she could wish for. Ace was back, she’s having dinner with her family, and she was happy. It was all too perfect, it was almost like this whole thing was a dream. God, (Y/n) was terrified that it was all just a dream. The thought of having them go back to a time where Ace was gone and that-

“Ouch.” (Y/n) hissed as she grabbed her arm. Looking over next to her, she saw Estelle gigging up at her. Estelle and his pinches are gonna be the death of her.

“You so deserve that for early. Good job, Estelle, you’re learning quickly.” Ace laughed out loud as he looked over at his son. Estelle smiled bright and laughed along with him. (Y/n) couldn’t even be mad, but she wasn’t about to let Ace get away with it.

“Oh, you watch it, because last time I checked Estelle was still a mommy’s boy just like his father.”

#one piece #one piece x reader #Portgas D. Ace #sabo #monkey d. luffy #portgas d ace x reader

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callilouv · 2 years

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Dottore hand brainrot. His hands are very rough because he has so many scars/burn marks etc. from his experiments. His hands are a little thin and bony and his veins are pretty visible. It's fun to trace all the little marks and veins. He says its stupid when you do that but he actually really likes it and it calms him down <3 He used to bite his nails when nervous so you started painting them. Normally that wouldnt stop him but seeing you upset about the color chipping he begrudgingly stops. (he hides them under his gloves because he refuses to let anyone else see the silly color combos)

ACK THIS IS ACTALLY SO CUTE,,,,,,,

Pls I love his hands either way<33 Ngl I love it when the veins r visible?? Like not the ones that are POPPING out but the ones that r still under the skin but u can still see them bc he is pale ifykwim??¥|*\ idk I think it’s cool<3 would probably give him lots of hand kisses<3 (I WILL give him lots of hand kisses) PLS I USED TO BITE MY NAILS TOO?? not even when I’m nervous, it just became habit and I do it like it was second nature</3 would LOVE to laint his nails though because I would honeslty have so much fun w designs >:0 will I give him Barbie pink nails for the fun of it? Yeah<3 FJSKNXJ

#ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ mail received #ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ anonymous #★ favorited!#ANON U R A REAL ONE FR THANK U I AM INDEBTED TO U🤝🤝

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anexor · 3 years

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Ah, Krexok, the Masked Phoenix xemself. Honeslty I really wish that that campaign lasted long enough to give xem a fulfilling story but it really just... didn't. Half of our party went into various branches of the military, so we had to cut it short.

Krexok came from a unique background; in the world that the campaign took place in, a cataclysmic event occured and humans decided to place themselves as the rulers of the land, and any other race was used as slave labor or... worse.

Krexok's ancestors avoided this fate by fleeing to the First World. Though, they're not all quite Tengu anymore, Krexok is pretty close. Xe used to live quite comfortably in the first world as well, until one of xyr close friends decided to kick them out onto the material plane for... little more than a prank, really. From then on, Krexok vowed to get revenge, at any cost.

This one was really fun to build, and also my first attempt at miniature trees. My local grocery store has a floral section with a bunch of preserved mosses that you're supposed to use for terrariums, but honestly I think they make fantastic trees and bushes at this scale. This was also my first color printed miniature from heroforge and honestly I've never been anything short of amazed at the tools on their site.

#pathfinder #diorama #honestly this was the easiest one I've done so far

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franeridart · 4 years

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Anon said: Do you have any more of the comics where Kiri's cat gets into Bakugo's apartment?? B being a dumbass is adorable hrnfjf

I don’t, sorry!! But the very amazing extremely skilled chonideno wrote a whole wonderful fic on it, so you can read that if you want more!! I still can’t believe she did that for me ily mag ;;;

Anon said: kirishima with......... a braid

Honestly the best thought horikoshi should get on that already 🙏

Anon said: i think... that bakugo should give kirishima a sleeby nose smooch..... as a treat.........

Anon said: hello it is i, sleeby nose kiss anon, and i want to say that kiri should also get to wear bakugo's sweatshirt. as a treat. i think he deserves it.

I think kirishima deserves anything and everything in the world and then some so honestly yes, bakugou should absolutely do that! It’d be very soft and it’d make me very happy

Anon said: your blog is a kirishima fucking goldmine thank you for your service in these dark ass times

I’m very glad you enjoy my indulging myself for the past 4+ years hahahaha the more kirishima there is in the world the better, that’s for sure 💕

Anon said: WHAT is your drawing process please reveal your secrets I am b e g g i n g you

It’s nothing complicated, honestly! I sketch out a very rough idea of what I want to draw, then line it as loosely and smoothly as I can manage, add flat colors on another layer, shadows on a multiply layer clipped on the flats one, and then adjust the light/intesity of the colors with a airbrush tool on an overlay layer - it’s really the simplest process known to human artist hahaha I posted a step by step on my patreon at some point, but maybe one day I’ll find a way to make a process video and show you guys how I do it.................... maybe if I’ll ever get to buy an ipad, that’d make my life easier

Anon said: OH MY GODYOUR VIGILANTE AU JUST-- HSJXJDJDJS THESE IDIOTS

So very glad people are still finding and liking that one! I had fun for the little it lasted, it was a very self-indulgent au haha

Anon said: Your art is honeslty the only thing keeping me going atm cause I'm going through a tough time rn and your kiribaku art just 🥰🥰🥰 also what program do you use?? I've cycled through so many and I cannot for the life of me find a good one

Thank you so much! I use easy pain tool sai, which is the easiest, most simple program I could find since I’m easily overwhelmed by too complicated things lol it’s got its shortcomings but it works perfectly for the little I have to do :D

Anon said: so i, like, keep going back and reading and re-reading that really long kiribaku comic (the one where kiri won't let baku kiss him) and everything about it makes me happy!! like, your art is already such a delight to look at but you also write them so well and it makes my heart feel all bright and happy and that comic feels like a culmination of all of that and i just feel like '!!!!!!!' everytime

Oh god I nearly forgot about that one, I loved that comic! Had so much fun making it and it was so satisfying to post it 😭😭 I’m happy you still like it and go look at it!! feels very very good to know, thank you! ;;; <3

Anon said: you draw touches, like hugs and stuff, and remind me that i'm a bit touch-starved and i honestly can't say i regret it

Sorry I hope this means that you don’t regret looking at my art even if it reminds you of being touch-starved because I’m!!!! glad to hear that??? though I really hope you’ll get to be hugged soon, anon! ;;;;

Anon said:For some of your black/white art (lineart), do you mind if people color it with proper credit?I like to color manga panels, and I really like your art, so, along with crediting you, is it okay if I color your peices?

I’m not a hundred per cent opposed to it, but I’d prefer it if you could ask before doing so telling me specifically which piece we’re talking about! Cause there’s a couple I’d prefer didn’t get reposted in any form or way, after all ;;

Anon said: I was looking through the jujutsu kaisen tag and found you and looked through some of your recent art and I was about to follow you and then I realized I already followed you for your bnha stuff

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! glad to hear I could make you want to follow me twice over, then!!! 😁

Anon said: Reminder to drink water and relax, overworking yourself isn’t healthy and we all need time to wind down!

Anon thank you!!!!!!!! The same goes to you, take care of yourself!! <3

Anon said: you are the light by nine lashes has me feeling kiribaku feelings and i have not a single person around me who i can tell ;n;

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH I absolutely do know the feel, please feel free to come cry about them in my inbox whenever you’d like anon ( TT^TT)9

Anon said: Could you do a tutorial on lineart? Yours is so clean I’m jealous

It’s not like I don’t want to, it’s just that there’s very little to it I could actually make a tutorial about? I try to keep my sketches vague and simple to not trap myself in the need to make the line look exactly identical to the sketch, and I try to keep my lines as long and uninterrupted as possible, let my hand kind of go the way it feels most comfortable to it if that makes sense, and I use ctrl+z A Lot to be sure the line flows the way I want it to in the direction I want it to go, and that’s honestly all there is to it! It’s not really about technique as much as it is about letting yourself keep as loose and fast as possible while putting down the lines, I really have no idea how else to explain it I’m sorry m(._.)m

Anon said: Sorry if this is an overasked question, but... what are your pronouns? I don’t wanna misgender you -.-

she/her! and don’t worry, you asking is no bother :D

Anon said: can ppl send, like, random hcs or thoughts to you? not like, drawing requests, you don't take those i know, but just because?

Hell yeah, please do!! I love to hear thoughts and headcanons, it makes my own creativity itch to get to work!!

#fran answers #i woke up the other day with eight new asks and i had a little heart attack thinking something had happened LMAO #it was just a lot of love though sob thank you sm <3<3<3

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daisies-write · 4 years

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And he said “nope” - Part 2

Deal with the Devil

Hisoka x weak!reader; soulmate AU

Ok so we decided to go with a light and fun story! I suppose it isn’t what’s expected of a Hisoka x reader but with Ari we had so much fun imagining different scenarios where both are forced to work together, it just started to take life on it’s own! I hope it won’t be disapointing for you and that you’ll like this serie as much as we do! @kuuredere

-Yasu

Previous chapter / Next chapter

TW: none

Writer: Both of us ! (Ari and Yasu)

Word count: 1965

This is how your "contract" began with Hisoka, with one simple deal: to continue with your life without being disturbing each other, as if you two never met. You would never work together anyway. You had morals and Hisoka was… Hisoka.

But strangely, since then your life had seemed to take an ominous decline and you were starting to wonder if the Universe had something to do with it. Too much had happened in too little time: losing your car, having your apartment infested with cockroaches, and finding out that your partner might be having an affair. Well… it couldn't be worse, after all.

" You are fired. "

Ah. It could, actually.

You were sitting on a bench somewhere in a park, with a big box full of your things lying at your feet, trying somehow to reach your partner on the phone. After the fifth call, you gave up. They must have been busy ...

You clapped your hands over your eyes, sighing loudly, twisting in your head everything you could do to find a job that paid as well as your last but there were very few options and the remaining ones didn't appeal to you one bit. You weren't desperate enough to striptease yet, that's for sure, and going back to babysitting was a big no.

"Maybe they were right in the end," you mumbled in your despair. “I'm not meant to be a Hunter and I'm not made for the big city.” A sad chuckle escaped your lips. “A real little peasant, haha. "

As if trying to mock you, the sun and the sky were extremely bright that day. Or maybe it was to support you...

" Well! I got this! I will not be discouraged for so little! "

You got up on your feet, determined, and then sat down again almost instantly.

"I have nowhere to sleep."

You expressed yourself with yet another long sigh. If only you hadn’t met this Hisoka, if only you hadn’t gone to see that damn battle at Heaven Arenas with your friends, if only you had said no, your life surely would have just as chill, like it used to. Seeing in color was fun but not necessary.

"I don't like pink," you thought as you saw a kid make a big bubble with his chewing gum.

"My, it looks like my kitten is doing badly ~," said a voice you recognized all too well.

Slowly turning your head to the side, you could finally confirm your fears: Hisoka was looking at you with a big smile, a hand on his cheek and mocking eyes.

"Hey, Satan," you answered instinctively.

He laughs at your words.

"I’m pretty sure I’m even worse, but thank you nonetheless."

“Go away. I don’t have time to mess with you. And like, don’t you have a fight today?”

Hisoka shrugged.

“The guy isn’t worth my time, that’s all.”

“So you thought about stalking me?”

“I thought about watching children play but I found you like you would find a wart,” he said nonchalantly.

You just started at him, genuinely creeped out.

“Get out of here, pedo.”

He laughed again.

“Make me.”

“The sexual innuendo of this sentence is way too big so you better stop using it unless if you want to bang me,” you said, unphased. “But there’s a hint: you ugly.”

“Wow!” Hisoka placed a hand to his heart, a pout on his face. “You didn’t seem quite so aggressive last time. Something bad happened?” His eyes found your box and his smirk came back. “Fired?”

You said nothing, but the displeased expression gave him confirmation.

“Your fault.”

“How’s that? Oh, let me guess,” his finger taping his lips in the most frustrating exagerration of his excessively dramatic self. “You couldn’t stop thinking about me and got distracted from your work, so of course, your boss told you to never come back because of your uselesness. Tragic love story!” He sighed. “But then again, who could resist me? I feel sympathetic for you. <3″

Your disgust grew just at the thought of being in love with Hisoka. He annoyed more you at every word he spoke, at every breath he took but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing this. You prefered playing his game and use your sarcasm to counter his and perhaps, distract yourself from your harsh reality.

“Well, if you’re so sympathetic, you could buy me a house-”

“Nope, <3″

You tried, at least!

“My apartment have been infested with cockroaches, so honestly, I really need a house. If you know a place, tell me.”

Hisoka eyed you for a second.

“Are you really unclean to the point of having cockroaches in your whole apartment?”

“What ? NO!” you yelled.

He just laughed again, shoting his head back. You bite your lower lips in embarassment as you saw the eyes of everyone else in proximity glaring at you. Your cheeks burned in fluster.You’ve been too loud.

“I have an idea!” you said to Hisoka after chacking your burning face away. “We could swap houses! That way, you could live with your family!”

His laugh died and he looked at you, pleased that you started playing with him.

“They said they missed you, you know? That you shouldn’t have run off and left them without saying anything,” you continued.

“I,” started Hisoka through a shit eating grin, “hate you so much and I urge to kill you but it would be no fun with you.”

“I think one of your brothers at my house is called Steve. Steve really, really misses you.” You smiled. “I feel like you two were very close.”

You liked insisting on each and every word of your sentence.

“Impossible. I’m too sexy to be related to Steve.”

“You’re sure? I thought you were twins. I could barely tell you apart!” Your voice sounded more and more amused with each syllable leaving your mouth. It felt so natural. “Wow.”

Honeslty, playful bander with Hisoka was fun. A real game, a match one of you had to win; he was never phased by any of your words so you kept sending sly insults back and forth in this oddly lively and convivial disgust you shared for each other.

Unfortunatly, everything must come to an end, right? You stopped quick in your teasing when you saw a familiar number appearing on your phone. Your smile vanished in less than a second and the atmosphere wasn’t so light anymore. Your partner was calling you, but in all honesty, you didn’t want to answer now. Or more like you didn’t have the heart to.

Hisoka raised one eyebrow.

“Lover?”

“I guess.. They’ve been cheating for a while, so no, not really anymore,” you said, trying your best to seem nonchalant about it.

“And you’re okay with that? You don’t seem like the type who’d have an open relationship.” His voice sounded like he took great joy in your suffering.

“Well, they found their soulmate. I know them,” you gulped. “I know them more than I know myself. It’s been hard on them and they aren’t ready to talk about it but I’m aware of what they’re doing at night. I saw their messages by accident.” You shrugged. “I’m only waiting for when they feel like it’s time.”

You stared at the number until it disappeared.

“Liar.”

You looked over to Hisoka again, slightly disoriented.

“You can dump them since you found your own soulmate.The break-up wouldn’t be so hard on them if they knew this.” He chuckled. “You’re just slowing down the inevitable fate of your couple. You don’t want to be alone and that’s all there is to know.”

You glared at him, now. Your heart was beating loudly against your chest, in pure anger. How could he read through you so easily? You didn’t like that one bit and you were disappointed in yourself for oversharing. He’s your soulmate, yes, but he’s still Hisoka.

“Please. Not now.”

“Sucks to be you, love.”

An awkward silence fall upon you both, or at least upon you. While you were frantically texting your best friend to ask for a place to stay, only to be met with a lenghty apology, you searched for other ways to find a place to sleep tonight. The motel rooms prices were way too high and you didn’t know how long you’d need to stay, nor how much it’ll cost to have your appartment clean again. You couldn’t face your partner and you were too ashamed to call your family. Your pride would end you but you prefered sleeping in the streets than having them look at you disapprovingly. Your whole world was falling apart and you blamed it all on Hisoka. And yet...

Hisoka’s eyes didn’t leave your figure. His mind was racing and it seemed like it was the only thing it did since he met you. He didn’t speak when he saw you frown and sigh and type desesperatly on your phone, swipping through your contacts, hesitating over a room price, checking over and over again if anyone could help you. His mind was still racing when he told you:

“I guess you can come to my place for a while.”

You were utterly speechless and goggled at him for a few seconds. It isn’t like Hisoka at all to propose help. He had something in mind, you knew as much, but you couldn’t help but feel floored.

“Who are you and what the heck did you do to my soulmate-?”

“Awww, you refer to me as your soulmate, that’s adorable.”

“ANSWER-” Honestly, you didn’t care about the volume of your voice at this point. You were too shocked.

Hisoka just laughed it off and looked at you, openly condescending and still smiling. Does he ever stop doing so ?

“I will have to take on a mission so I won’t be at Heaven Arenas for a while.” He pointed at you. “You can take my room there while I’m gone.”

You were too confused.

“But why? You gain nothing by doing this!” You frowned and wrapped your hands protectively against your body. “I won’t have sex with you!”

“Don’t worry, I’d rather die,” he rolled his eyes. “I let you take my room because whatever happens to you if you sleep on a bench in the parc happens to me as well. And even if I’m pretty sure I can manage, I don’t want to wake up in the morning with a hole in my belly. You got it, darling?”

“Wait, what do you mean everything that happens to-’

But he didn’t let you finish your sentence: he took your box and walked away without giving you any other explanation.

“Hisoka, wait!”

Well, at least you got a rather interesting piece of informations. You didn’t know everything about soulmates but you sure knew that even if you were linked by fate, Hisoka wouldn’t do this without solid motives. Everything about him screamed to you to never trust him but you needed your box and you needed a roof over your head. You wouldn’t let your guard down for now. You probably couldn’t beat him in a fight but he didn’t seem like he’d kill you so that was already a good point.

You made a mental note to look more deeply into all of this and untangle the mystery of his help and quickly followed your jerk soulmate.

“I said wait, asshole!”

“What, miss me already? Do you want a goodbye kiss?”

“Don’t say such repulsive things,” you replied, gagging. “I’ll need the room’s key.”

“Here,” he tosses it to you before adding “just don’t go looking around my stuff too much~”

This was going to be... interesting.

#hunter x hunter #hxh #hxh x reader #hisoka x reader #hisoka morrow x reader #hxh hisoka #hunter x hunter imagines #hunter x hunter x reader #hisoka imagine #hisoka morrow #hisoka morow x reader #imagines #hxh 1999 #x reader #hxh 2011 #hxh imagines #soulmate au #imagine a soulmate au w/ a weak s/o

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volleyball-dontknowher · 4 years

Text

Almost caught + getting pulled away

Summary: you and your husband are having some fun which your kid almost catches you in the act AND you two are about to have fun but your kid drags your husband away

Characters: Daichi, Kuroo, Bokuto

Warnings: NSFW

THIS IS TWO REQUESTS IN ONE I DIDN’T SEE THAT THE TWO WERE SO SIMILAR UNTIL AFTER PRESSING POST

A/N I know that this has been a kinky thing on Tiktok and like I am personally not one to want kids to catch their parents so you get to see how these suave men avoid getting themselves caught so I am sorry to who asked this, it is not just like that because it makes me uncomfy BUT THE OTHER PART I ADDED AFTER POSTING SO IT IS AN UPDATE!! AND IT IS MORE APPROPRIATE AND I AM COMFY WITH IT

Daichi

You and Daichi always put your kids down for bed and tuck them in before anything happens between the two of you but when you both start getting at it you let out a louder than expected moan as Daichi slips two fingers into your pumping them fast and hard

Lucky for you, your door was closed so Daichi’s reflexes catch the door creaking open and he pulls his hand back before the door is opened fully, after all, he is trained to listen for things out of the ordinary and he knew that the closed-door should not be creaking so

he is still wearing his shirt and boxers so he hops right out of bed and goes to pick up your little girl and gives her a sweet kiss on the head before going to tuck her back in and reading her another bedtime story cooing about how “one story wasn’t enough for you tonight” and talking about how she needed some “time with daddy” and she was so enthusiastic with answering and he sat and read her a story until she was dead asleep and then he turned on the ambient noise and came back to the bedroom

IF YOUR KID INTERRUPTS

omg he is going to be so sweet like you two were making out on the bed when you hear a little knock and he just smiles instantly and goes to see what she is up to and when she says that she wants to play he gives you a sweet smile and can’t help but go play with her

The two of them are peas in a pod and he helps her color in her unicorn pages and then watches Sophia the first for the third time with her completely forgetting about what he was going to do with you and just focusing on your daughter until she goes to bed then his attention is back on you

Let’s just say that baby #2 was on their way after tonight

Bokuto

Bokuto is going to be super risky with the two of you having sex if your kid is down for a nap he is going to slip a quickie in there really quick because he doesn't want you to lose the passion you two had before your little surprise

You are super observant with how long your kiddo is asleep every day because he sleeps from 3:06-3:37 exactly every single day without fail so that was the time that the two of you looked forward to together

Today Bokuto decided that he wanted some good old fashioned oral during this time and at this point, you and Bokuto knew each other’s bodies so perfectly well that you had the other finishing quickly

You decided to suck him off first which had him moaning and groaning as his fingers tangled in your hair before he started to eat you out

Bokuto knew you better than he knew himself and today he decided to be a complete tease and crawled under the covers and had you begging him to please give you what you wanted and he had just gotten started when the alarm on your phone signaling that your little boy woke up went off, instead of stopping Bokuto took this as a challenge of “can I make my wife orgasm before my kid enters the room”

Bokuto starts going and he goes fast and hard with his mouth and fingers and has you right on the edge when you feel him slide up the bed and pull you close to him placing a little kiss on the top of your head right as he waddles into your room smiling at the two of you asking when it’s snack time

Bokuto smiles and tells your son that he can have a snack now and turns back and winks at you before telling you that he’ll finish his snack later

GETTING DISTRACTED BY YOUR SON

Your son tells him he wants to play during his nap time after Bokuto had been dirty talking and riling you up all day and you almost protest but then Bokuto instantly says yes and smiles

He ends up wearing your son out so much playing outside that he gets almost double even triple the normal nap time and your son is tired early in the day so the two of you end up doing it twice that day and when you ask him how he wore him out so well he just smiles and says something dumb like magic

Kuroo

If you get caught with Kuroo then it is going to be in the worst and most compromising positions, you two expected for your little girl to spend the night at grandma’s house tonight but she ended up wetting the bed so they came back to get an extra pair of pants for her because she kept insisting that the ones you packed for her weren’t the ones she wanted to wear

Lucky for the two of you, your mother in law calls you before entering the house asking how dinner is going (the two of you forgot about getting dinner and went straight to sex) and when you said it was going great she explained the situation and told you that she was right outside of your house and they would be grabbing new pants for her before heading out

You quickly pushed Kuroo up and had him lock the door before coming to lay back in bed silently with you as you heard the door open

You ended up cock warming with him for the little bit of time as you both bit little marks onto each other’s shoulders and when you heard the door finally swing back shut you waited a few minutes before getting back to what you were doing before

IF YOUR DAUGHTER DISTRACTS HIM

he will pout for a second especially if you push him to stop being a tease and be a good dad but honeslty he chooses her every single time over you anyway because she is a daddy’s girl and you can’t help but be a little jealous

He spoils her rotten and builds a fort in the living room with her but every time she goes to get something he pulls out his phone and sends a dirty text to you before continuing to play with her to remind you that he didn’t forget about you

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skunkyemerson · 4 years

Text

Bnha/MHA characters as Real-Time Fandub Games Quotes:

Amajiki: I’VE BEEN MADE OF LUNCHABLE MEAT!!!

— —- —

Iida(bursting through Bakugo’s wall): GIVE ME THE BOOKS!

Bakugo: Just use a door, asshole!!!

— —- —

Villain: You have thirty seconds before the island fucking explodes you Hot Topic wannabe and you blue gumball son of a bitch, you ruined my life I hope you both die.

Iida: Hot Topic?!

Tokoyami: No, my secret!

— —- —

Kirishima: You know me, I’m all about keeping it real! That’s why my hair is dyed.

Kaminari: Hm, what color is that, is it red or scarlet?

Kirishima:...You know, I don’t like labels.

Kaminari: That’s so fucking fair dude.

— —- —

Mineta: I feel like there’s a pervert here. Nope...Wait. I knew it. I’m the pervert! Hooray!

— —- —

Bakugo: Honestly, I’m not fucking with anymore Redboxes, last time I did, it spit a bunch of quarters at me.

Kirishima:...Wait, you don’t put quarters in there.

*Bakugo stops and turns around*

Kirishima: What were you...Bakugo, were you putting your quarters in the card reader?

Bakugo: N-No...

— —- —

Toga: Ok so, have you ever tasted human blood before? *click*

Twice: Why did she hang up?

— —- —

Hatsume: I can’t believe you’ve done this, this is all your fault!

Uraraka: I can’t believe your tits are one polygon!

— —- —

Koda: Hey Tokoyami I have a question. Since I’m so pure, can you please explain to me how you fuck crops?

*FIVE MINUTES LATER*

Tokoyami: I didn’t-I didn’t wanna have to explain that to you Koda, I didn’t want to! You forced my hand-

Koda(traumatized): PLEASE...

Tokoyami: Now you’re scarred for life and I’m gonna have to take you to therapy and it’s just...

Koda: Yeah, I think I need some help now...

Hagakure: After explaining how to fuck plants, I think I’m a veggie!

— —- —

Mina: I am happy with myself! I have a positive mental attitude!

Shoji: God I wish that were me.

— —- —

Midnight: Honeslty Joke, you should stick with a new career, I don’t think standup comedy is your thing.

Joke: Ohhhhh. You mean I should marry a very handsome and wealthy man who has stock in the diamond and ring business?

*Aizawa climbs out of the sewer*

Joke: THERE HE IS!!!

Aizawa: Hey, what’s up good looking? Also hi Joke.

— —- —

Deku: Oh this? It’s my arm!

— —- —

Tokoyami: Square Enix...The creators of Final Fantasy: Spirits Within. I can’t wait to watch that on my sweet rig.

— —- —

Bakugo: Why do I have a gun?

Hatsume(on earpiece): Yeah it’s a gun, I made it for you! You’re gonna use it at some point!

Bakugo: Am I gonna shoot Deku?

*cuts to Bakugo holding a paper*

Hatsume: It’s a restraining order from Deku after you shot him with the gun!

— —- —

Mina: Have fun you guys. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, or anything I would do, or anything anybody else wouldn’t do.

— —- —

Iida: Do you have a seven letter word for potato?

Tokoyami: Uhh Sans Undertale.

Iida: Oh, I remember Sans Undertale!

Tokoyami:....I remember him too, man.

— —- —

Deku: Todoroki, you never told me you were related to a pro hero.

Todoroki: I am, and I hate it.

— —- —

*Recovery Girl healing Deku, and walks out to All Might.*

Recovery Girl: There’s no easy way to say this, All Might. He’s part table now. *walks away*

All Might:....WHAT? I mean that’s bad but also WHAT?

Deku: I...I gotta get out of here...I can’t support mugs and dishes, please, I gotta get out of here...

All Might: You can’t even support yourself!

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

Text

Scottrospective: Scott Pilgrim and the Infinite Sadness

Welcome back my Scottaholics! We’re moving right along fun and fancy free just a few days later from Book 2 to 3. Which fits: As I mentioned in my review of book 1 I first encountered Scott, Ramona and Wallace in a free comic book story, and VERY intrigued, bought volumes 2 and 3 from the same comic shop after reading it in line.. or maybe I went there again later and bought them. My brain is a foggy sinkhole. Point is I was hooked from then on out, and bought the next three volumes as I came out, and through the internet because by then i’d leanred to use Amazon. Ironic given Ramona’s work for them is not only iconic to the series but plot important in volumes 1 and 2. As is Scott’s package toss in the movie. But the story of my long wait for volume 4 can wait for February. Point is it was these two and Free Scott PIlgrim are the ones I poured over again and agian, obessing over as a teen and the ones that stick in my brain the most. But even with that last time the exaustive process of covering it exposed a LOT of volume 2′s weakness: While it has a lot of iconic scenes, including Scott accidently convincing a man to skateboard himself to death, the Ramona and Knives fight, the envy call, the flashback, and is still very enjoyable..it also feels the most like a collection of loose events out of the books. Good stuff and character and tone wise better than last time.. but not quite as narratively strong. The series was GETTING there, the art was solidfiying into it’s final form, the characters were in the right place, SCott was more likeable.. but it hadn’t quite hit it’s stride yet. Three guesses when it did and the first two didn’t count. Infinite Sadness is one of my favorite volumes, along with 4 and 6. And while part of that is nostaliga and a personal connection.. the bulk of it is just this volume being even BETTER on the re-read. I picked up subtle bits that I didn’t notice before that only enritched the experince, the pacing is sublime, the character work is top notch and compelling, the art work is finally crystlalized into what the series is known for, and would only get even better as it goes, and the fights are some of the series best. This is one hell of a story and I warmly invite you to join me as I break it down after the break.

Previously on Scott Pilgrim: Scott defeated Lucas Lee, the second Evil Ex, met Luke Wilson, and prepared to go to his ex girlfriend’s concert despite this being a terrible idea to discuss a gig. It was there he and Ramona found out Envy’s base player Todd, the douchenozzle who she cheated on Scott with, is also the douchenozzle Ramona cheated on Lucas with.

So we open.. exactly from that moment, with Scott and Ramona starring wide eyed while the band plays in an utterly dazzling sequence that’s been brought up a notch in the color remaster. Also one of a handful of moments that was barely touched from page to screen, with only slight adaptations to make it better on screen, and the addition of Metric’s now iconic “Black Sheep”. And when reading the scene.. I couldn’t resisit turning black sheep on as it matched it perfectly.. so yeah have the Clash at the Demonhead performance from the film

youtube

So while that worms it’s way into your head, let’s talk about the character designs for Clash Of the Demonhead, since volume 2 is the last time in the color editions O’Malley really talks about character origins and stuff. I could’ve missed something of course, we’ll see as we go won’t we. I just saved it for here as the Volume 2 review was running a bit long as is and while their shown on covers and on the back cover of the black and white edition, they don’t show up in person and in their full glory till the last panel, hence saving it for here where Envy and Todd are the main antagonists and Lynette is... plot relevant.

Envy was based on the front woman for the band Metric, Emily Haines, designed much like hanes to be a tough, confrotnational, sexy woman, his words not mine, who’d gone through a lot of change in a few years since according to him, and i’m willing to take his word for it since I don’t know the band outside of the one song he picked for the movie, a lot of the bands songs are about that. And honeslty it makes me want to check them out more, as does how awesome black sheep is I can’t belivie I took this long, and is supremely intresting as I hadn’t realized there was a good reason there wasn’t just an original song written for clash at the demonhead. I mean if you base your character on the frontwoman for a band why NOT use one of their songs.

Speaking of band, Plumtree’s drummer, Lynette Gillis, was the inspiration for Lynette Gycott, though the final version of her is more cold and robotic and less like Gillis than initially envisioned.

Finally Todd..was based on Scott, and while he evolved out from that a bit especially in powers.. the concept basically stuck as Todd is a stronger, dumber, more agressive and douchey version of Scott whose mistreatment of women is far more deliberate than Scott’s untetional douchebaggery.

So after some interview segments for some sort of documentary on the band with the crowd, we cut to our heroes after the show, all standing around and being nervous. Stephen’s first words are “Decent show eh, told you they were good”.

Admitely re-reading this one and answering a reader question, unrealted but it got me to thinking, made me realize Stephen wasn’t AS much of a dick as I thought: I didn’t think about the fact Scott and Envy’s blow up cost him their old band which was close to singing, and that Scott both as revealed in volume 3 and in bits here, was kind of a dick towards the end, intitating the breakup while drunk and belligernt and saying a facepunchingly dickish comment we’ll get to. So he wasn’t BLAMELESS and it’s understandable Stephen dosen’t hate her as much. She was friends with his horrible albatross of a girlfriend and didn’t break his heart.

However.. he’s still an asshole and deserve jeff blim’s theatrical fuck you up there. He still ignores Scott’s pain, or the fact that most of the breakup WAS Envy’s fault as we’ll see. We’ll get into it in full obviously but for the cliffs notes so I can yell at a fictional grumpy closted canadian man: She slowly drifted away from him, treated him like he had no say in a band he helped found or took his feelings into account in the record deal, and cheated on him with Todd and possibly another guy. And as seen here she used her fame to bribe her ex and friends into showing up just so, as we see, she can torture him and his new girlfriend a bit. Envy is not a good person and Stephen is ignoring that and his friends VERY obvious emtoinal turmoil. Especially dickish since by this point Scott has clearly swallowed his pride and agreed to a show with someone who really DEEPLY hurt him for Stephen and Kim’s sake.. and he’s not even remotely greatful for it clearly. The only reason he’s not the biggest asshole left in the building is because Todd, Envy and Julie, queen of bitches, is in there.

So after a save point gag that goes nowhere, Envy shows up to take the group back stage... awkward, uncomfortable and very intentional silence insues to makes Scott even more sweaty and nervous and Ramona visably and understandably annoyed. Knives tries to talk to her hero but gets ignored because Envy’s a bitch.. and so’s Julie who not only joins in the shunning of a fucking teenager who clearly loves this band, but also is clearly trying to conversationally surgically attach her lips to Envy’s ass. Her toadying is obnxoious as you’d expect and as transparent as you’d expect, trying to drudge up old nostalgia while Envy’s clearly barely intrested, and the only thing that makes it more tolerable than normal Julie is Envy clearly barely tolerates this and likely is only going with it because she could be a useful minon in the future.

Thankfully this is broken up. Unthakfully it’s by knives shouting her most iconic line:

Given Envy is shown to not be the best person.. her response is to have her cyborg goon belt knives in the face

Which leads to an even better line seconds later

Envy then to just .. complete the circle of being a bitch has NEil take knives out then mocks her when Julie explains why knives and neil were even here. And it’s VERY telling that even Julie, who was must minutes from humping envy’s leg and begging to go with her when she leaves, is visably put off by Envy’s attitude. So while Ramona is understandably fucking done with this, as even she has some shred of sympathy for the teenager who tried to stab her a day ago, Scott has to take a minute to have a flashback. We see two brief bits of Scott with Envy, at the start of their college band Kid Chamelon where they were all happy.. and shortly after the breakup where Scott is miserable, in the middle of the street, sadly saying their name while saying “I’m so alone”.. explaning that desert bit from volume 1.. and making it ten times more painful. Nicely done Brian.

So with Knives gone we get our usual character age intros and descriptoins, my favioritte being Stephen “wants a damn buritto dammit” which I can relate to and thankfully got it monday. He also does show a bit more of his noble self as, things have escalated to the point even he can see Envy has some sort of evil scheme planned and he walked right into it so he asks what her ulterior motive is. Julie pipes up with “She dosen’t NEED ulterior motives she was written up with in spin!”

So Envy grills Ramona a bit clearly trying to make her squirm..though at least when Julie TRIES to jump in she shoots her down, like some asshole pulling a yappy dog on it’s leash hard. Eventually Scott flips out and .. well I don’t want to overpanel this review but this is just.. quotes cannot do this justice.

The result.. is the reveal Todd is psychic due to being a vegan and he throwing scott through a wall with telkenisis, kyle!

It’s explained he has these powers because he’s a vegan and even was top of his class at the vegan academy. Citation... needed. Not because of his power but because Todd may be one of the stupidest beings that’s ever lived. And I once had a friend whose other friend told me, since they’d be going to diffrent high schools and he was trying to pass off his mummies curse of keeping him from destroying himself with his own stupidity, tried to run into a wall to loose weight. No I don’t get how this would’ve worked but having known the guy I guarnatee he was arrogant and dumb enough at the time to try it. Nowadays I assume he’s much better... I assume. You.. you’d have to be to have survived another decade.

Todd is also THAT kind of smug dickhead. Thankfully I haven’t met one in real life or online, as the two vegetarians I have known, one of my best friends micheal and my uncle drew, the former of whom now also eats fish and the latter of whom gave it up once he moved to places he could get meat that was raced humanely easier, but who I still respect for having that amount of self control. But Todd is a clear parody of the type of vegan and vegetarian who think their better than everyone.. by thinking he’s even BETTER than regular vegans because not every vegan can take the strain of psychic powers, with Kim naturally sniping at him.. then flipping him off when he says “don’t get snippy babe” and is very lucky he has psychic powers as otherwise he’d suddenly be wondering where his dick is and why kim’s holding a broken bottle.

Brian also pokes fun at the old 90 percent of your brain trope. You know the old one that claims you only use 10 percent..

But it’s only because your only ACTIVELY using it and the rest is simply other functions. But hey we got Deathstroke out of that claim so good enough. Todd claims it’s because the other 90 percent is curds and whey. This might be the greatest use of this outdated trope in human history. No.. no.. it is. It exactly is.

Envy brags that’s why he can’t beat him having clearly traded disappearing up her own ass for disappearing up todd’s, Julie was also crammed up there, it was getting crowded. Envy claims to have been with todd since age 11.. which.. is more.. delusion than anything and she brushes off Ramona rightfully pointing out that’d mean he cheated on her with Ramona as Rammy trying to distract her and trying to smack talk SCott more who has another flashback.

SOME YEARS AGO.. I DUNNO 5? 5 YEARS AGO?

We see Scott’s first meeting with Envy, who was rooming with Julie. Julie, it might shock you.. has not changed at all in 5 or so years. She’s seen bitching at her roomate Natalie V. Adams, the future Envy, for not wanting to get drunk and high and for hanging out in her room with all her anime posters and stuff. As you can tell, she’s a vastly diffrent person at this point, a nerdy interverted otaku and as you can probably guess now the flashbacks have started at the top, we’ll be seeing how she became the sexpot rockstar she is now and how that drove a wedge betwene her and Scott. Julie SHOCKINGLY does not take this well and as Stephen to kil lher if she ever becomes friends with her. I mean I would but If I could travel into fictional works I certainly woudln’t be wasting my time murdering Julie. I’d be asking kim out and trying to get into some cool video game ablities myself. I ain’t got time for that bitch.

Next cut Julie is ... even worse as she’s calling Scott some “jerky jerky ladykiller”, pointing out he’s hooked up with recurring background characters Sandra and Monique. Now GRANTED, Scott could’ve hurt them and Julie could be right for once.. we’ve seen he has a history of being an insenstive douche by pure accident. But.. from the sounds of it given his encounters with Sandra and Monique were both in seperate ladies rooms, as in casual hookups I assume are common in universities. As long as he used a condom and dind’t lie about being in it longterm, who the hell does it hurt. Same if he and Natlie ended up being that. He’s not a “ladykiller” if he got busy on a washroom sink. He just had casual sex in an awful location and given Scott is both horny and stupid freqently, I could buy he either inittated it clumsily and sandra and or monqiue went for it, or one of them thought he was cute and wanted a quick one with him and it just never went anywhere either due to lack of intrest or Scott being kind of a moron. I don’t buy he INTENTIONALLY hurt anyone, he MIGHT of hurt Sandra she seems kind of ditzy and might’ve not realized it wans’t serious.. but it just entirely sounds like a casual, consesual one time hookup with two seperate women. And as long as he wore a condom and repsected their needs what the fuck is it Julie’s buisness. BEcause their here freinds? I mean they told her but they weren’t expecting her to play dick sheirff with scott probably. And Natlie is not her buisness: their not really friends.. she’s just trying to ruin Scott’s day. I honestly get the sense she only hates Scott because she can’t get rid of him, Stephen won’t dump him as a friend and he fucked her friends once. Which makes me hate her MORE. Natlie/Envy however also calls bullshit and thinks Scott’s much too awkward to be a ladykiller. Accurate. I mean he’s good with women and gets dates easily, he’s just not inteitonally leaving them high and dry. He’s just not great with empathy.

Scott snaps back to the present and gets pissed.. and we get the real reason for the outburst as he shouts “You you ass! She USED to be NICE!”. It’s very clear that Scott blames Todd for Envy’s change into an cold and cruel person. But .. that’s not on him entirely. I do think Envy’s cattier, more cruel “play with prey like a cat with a mouse” personality at this point is due to Todd feeding into her worse impulses.... but the flashbacks make clear even before she saw him again she was slowly changing as a person for better, gaining a drive and passion for music.. and for worse, shutting scott out cheating on him and generally not carring about anything but her career, especially Scott. As much as he wants to belivie it she didn’t MAGICALLY change into a bitch overnight and beating todd won’t fix that. She became what she is as a choice. Todd just made what she became worse.

After the predictable result of Scott getting flung into the air and falling back down, he has another flashback and we see the next phase of their relationship: Scott, Envy and Stephen playing in a band for Stacey and Wallace (!), whose hair is certainly a... choice. And the two falling in love and julie grilling scott on if he and nat are a couple because why stop making me wish for a bus to hit you NOW Jules?

So we then get ANOTHER iconic line and another scene that was perfectly translated into the film

Comic gold no matter the medium.. Brandon Routh just nailed it and I watched the scene again before writing this just out of curoisty. Flawless stuff. Check it out

youtube

I will say however that while Movie!Envy’s response of just quickly covering is pretty funny.. I prefer the comic’s envy’s utterly baffled and pissed off “What are you talking about Todd?”. Even she can’t fathom what the fuck just happened. But since it’s late and Todd’s brain is pretty fried, Envy calls for everyone to get some sleep and they’ll regroup tommorow at 1pm at Honest Ed’s. Honest Ed’s WAS a famous discount Store in Canada that sadly closed in 2016, making what ‘s about to happen to it here sad in hindsight. It was known for big sales, big spectacle and i’ts larger than life owner who sadly passed a few years after this volume. But god bless him for giving this series one of it’s best settings. More on that when we get there for now FLASHBACK

Back in College, we see Nat’s change into envy as she sells all her stuff for some bitching new boots and cd’s and during sex with Scott asks him to start calling her Envy. Their still somewhat happy, as the next flashback has Scott remembering their 8 month anniversary and her playfully mocking him as the girl.. before we get a much starker one of him telling her he loved her and her not responding.. and looking at him.. more.. bored than anything.

Back in the present our heroes try to wait out the rain under a bank thing, can relate to the times i’ve visted the city and came out to rain, and when that fails Kim says she’s off and will see them at practice and tells Stephen to blow her when he asks her if she’s going to Honest Ed’s, then seems genuinly confused if he pissed her off before heading home. Swing and a miss stevie, swing and a miss.

Scott is hungry and sorta drags Ramona, whose not in the mood for anything, over to Pizza Pete’s a nearbye eatery. It’s there they happen to run into Other Scott... Other Scott is another guy named Scott. He dosen’t do much in the books. But the name Other Scott is objectively funny and he is objectively nice so he’s fine in my book and I applaud the movie for using him as Wallace’s love intrest. Though I wouldn’t be REMOTELY suprised if they were fucking in the books too. And of course with him is Wallace himself, who really is just.. entering this volume in the most Wallace way possible.

A little drunk, eating some cheap but good food, with a million dollar style and in just the exact right place at the exact right time. If that’s not Wallace Wells, I don’t know what is. Wallace and Other Scott were clubbin, not a huge suprise given Wallace has his own deep and complicated social life we never see and Wallace is naturally a little bit absolutley livid when he finds out Scott went to see Envy’s show anyway despite you know, putting him in a misery coma. Who do you think has to clean you and feed you when your like that Scott? Elves? Well I mean .. Wallace MIGHT be an elf.. but he stilld soen’t want to do either of those things. He breifly gets sidetracked by the fact that Scott is wearing his shirt.. maybe. I mean he wore it the other day but given their living situation it’s honestly hard to tell. Ramona reminds him of his priorites

That’s part of the fun of rereading these again so soon after rereading them in december: I’m noticing tons of little moments like this I didn’t really before. The two explain things, including Ramona pointing out Scott’s extra stupid around Envy. I mean it’s a bit mean to point out given this is clearly a lot for him.

Wallace brushes it off and promises to help him train like a true pal before being prompted to talk about this new boy he picked up Mobile.. who we wont’ see in person for a while but Wallace is clearly head over heels for and begs Scott to let him have the apartment.. or more accuratley Ramona, whose clearly not in the best of moods with Scott, to take him. His sales pitch is immaculate

So she agrees and a friendship is forged based on mutual hatred and being someone’s dipping sauce bitch. I’ve forged longer lasting friendships on far less. Also Wallace forgot his keys but wisely banked on his Gladstone Gander esque luck to help him out.. seriously i’m convinced he has a lower yield version of that. Or God wants to bang him but can’t because his penis is so powerful it CAN SPLIT A MOUNTAIN IN TWAINNNNN. You make the call.

So they sleep it off, and Scott heads home early next morning.. and forgot he gave wallace his keys. Thankfully wallace finds him, and even got him donuts for when he came back, what a guy, makes you cry and I did. He also shows off a new trick about using your chi to dust rain off you. Turns out Mobile is psyhich which.. dosen’t come into play but for vallad reasons: Scott assumes Mobile can just.. give him psyhic powers and training but a) he and Wallace JUST met and while they’ll remain together for the rest of the series, it’s a big ask to have him help train his best friend to fight a man as dumb and chisled as a mountain, and B) “It dosen’t work that way” meaning scott’s probably not psi adept and even if he can be taught, there’s not NEARLY enough time for him to get good enough at shielding himself from Telkenisis in time given Todd’s already fighting him today and has two other oppprotunites afterwords to beat his ass to death. There’s just not enough time. So scott collapses with a donut in his mouth.. are .. are we sure this isn’t just a more attractive more sucessful canadian alternate me?

We flashback to when Wallace met Envy and since i’ts post-becoming envy, it dosen’t go well and he hates her immidetly, and expects Scott to break up with her asap.. which while bitchy.. actually woudl’ve been a good move in the long run. And “Bitchily phrased but a good move in the long run” has apparently always been Wallace’s go-to move.

In the present Wallace helps Scott , who thinks everything sucks, realize it does not, with the help of fresh bacon and perspective, helping him avoid thinking Envy is “back” when she’s just vistiing and somewhat forces him to admit it’s not happening again nor should it. And implicity your both with other people, you’ve moved on, stay moved on. ANOTHER Flashback, this time with Envy asking Scott how he and Wallace met after dinner with Scott’s parents. It’s the story we’ve been hinting at since.. uh last volume.

And indeed it is somewhat gay! Behold! The origin of a friendship to piece the heavens or .. something like that. I’m tired.

It’s a quick breezy story that honestly both explains a lot and is what you’d expect; Wallace taking an intrest, Wallace presumibly realising Scott is straight off screen but deciding fuck it I like this guy let’s be pals instead, and jjust sorta showing up at his house. But since it’s Wallace and he and Scott both love gaming.. it just stuck. And it’s easy to see why. Scott’s a bit of an introvert and Wallace is a ton of an extrovert. Wallce is nice, naturally charming and endlessly cool, and as you can see it took him probably just an afternoon to go from freaking scott out for showing up randomly, to Scott talking the guy up and clearly being the bosom buddies they are now. The two just ballance each other out well. Wallace need’s scott’s weirdness and general heart, and Scott needs Wallace to keep him from running into the brick walls of life via his own stupidity and conflict avoidance. It’s what they do, they make it a two player game.

So later that day, and some off screen training later, presumibly to the song Two Player Game despite the fact it didn’t exist yet, our heroes (Scott, Ramona and Wallace), Villians (Envy and Todd) and other not so much evil as just cretionus assholes (Stephen and Julie) arrive. It’s also clear that Envy just made up the challenge as she went and I fucking love it, just saying they’ll run to the back, try and kill each other and no psychic powers, with Scott’s own handicap being “He isn’t a surivivor” which earns a rightful you unebleiviable bitch from wallace and a just ast rightful “fair enough” from Scott.

Stephen wonders what the deal is and Julie’s answer is... I don’t.. I can’t unpack this.

Meanwhile Wallace says “I hate her so much” Which I THINK was meant for Envy, but as a teen I interpited as being for Julie. Then again it being BOTH is entirely possible given no one can stand Julie for more than five mintues other than Stephen. And that’s because he’s still in the closet and hasn’t come out as bi or gay and thus sees her as a safe option or he really sucks with his taste in partners. Or a little from collumn a , a little from collumn b. So yeah Scott wants a Strategy and Wallace has.. nothing other than “Well he can’t use his powers so.. use that. I guess.. I dunno. I’m hungover” though Ramona warns he can’t go long without using them without freaking out. So gooood? I’m starting to think Kim is the most useful member in his crew for this fight.. and she’s the one who decided to nope out of it because she didn’t want to watch his ex pick him apart mentally and her muscly new boyfriend pick him apart with MIND BULLETS. Wallace isn’t really helping this go round, though he’s still a treasure, Ramona is trying but dosen’t have much, and Stephen thought bringing Julie was in any way shape or form a good idea. Which really sums up their entire relationship so it’s not surprising, it just makes me question why the two are friends at all.

No really, out of Scott’s three close friends.. this friendship feels the most like two guys who just used to hang out but have no real reason too other than convience. Wallace would go to bat for scott.. with an actual bat.. to Envy’s skull. He just dosen’t want to go to jail.. again. Kim pines for him, pun intended, and also does care, she just dosen’t show it because scott’s kinda a moron parade and an insenstivity brunch rolled into one. So she sticks around even though it hurts to. Stephen.. lost his big shot in part due to Scott (Though Envy’s pushness and lack of consideration for his feelings didn’t help), his shrew of a girlfriend hates him and he’s not that good at bass... and I just got it. While Tornoto’s a big city , he’s probably not sure if Kim would be doing this without Scott. He’s.. entirely still his friend because he needs a bass player and kim’s a damn fine drummer whose hard to replace. I just got it.. it makes him a self serving douchecanoe for only being someone's friend because he needs a bass player even though he doesn’t like him, but I at least GET IT now.

So the rush into Honest Ed’s begins and.. my god this whole sequence is sublimely redelcous. It feels like what would ACTUALLY happen if two guys fought for the reasons scott and todd are fighting: just two idiots dinking around in a discount store. Scott dosen’t even last a few seconds before shouting in response to Todd’s taunts “We are all dead”, tripping while looking for eyeware and well..

Meanwhile Todd starts to break down while shouting FATHEERRRRRRR like all good psychics. As for how long this beautiful nonsense has been going on....

Oh and if you thought it hadn’t gotten redicously hilarious enough... wait till you see what’s next.

No words.. should’ve.. sent a poet.. got a tubby asshole who reviews comics, disney shows and disney comics instead....

So we then get a montage in todd’s head with his SHOCKINGLY OLD dad telling him he dosen’t have the willpower to be a vegan.. Lynette telling him she’s his for the taking and Envy will never know as she opens her shirt, and

Gideon.. showing he not only consults the league but confriming what the audience and scott realized: He’s behind these assholes.. but it also shows how much. He’s actively coaching them.. and granted we KNEW the exes were in contact with one another given Lucas was having an understandable sigh about Matthew.. but this shows Gideon isn’t just some player and this isn’t some automated service. He brought them all together. The how ends up being hilarious, and we’ll get to that but while it was obvious he was the final boss this is a nice and terrifying bit of clarification. As for what happened next.. well Todd freaks out with his powers from not using them

Really sad in hindsight.. but still really funny despite the horrifying concidence. So yeah our hero declares victory but dind’t really when and things just kinda end. This segment went basically nowhere and acomplished nothing. .but was still really fun, with great lines and is one of the most memorable and awesome scenes in the series. It also shows the series growth between volumes: Last volume had a lot of cool moments.. but no real plot structure, just a bunch of things that needed to happen to get here. With Volume 3.. things are VERY tightly plotted, and even a fun but kinda pointless diversion like this... still fits in perfectly, giving us a second Scott and Todd fight to build him up, showing off just HOW powerful Todd is, and fleshing out the tofu headed douche a bit. As we’ve seen this volume still has it’s little slice of life moments the series does well. their just well put into a very compelling and fast paced plot, one we’re fully invested in as we see Scott’s torment and Ramona’s mounting anger at envy’s bullshit. It helps that Envy and Todd are the second best big bads of a volume behind gideon himslef in the fimale, with Roxy close at their heels if you were curious. Envy just oozes ego and superiority and is fun to watch every time, while we see moments once in a while that show she’s still human underneath even if she acts like a goddes.. and is admitely one of my types but that’s enough of that. She provides a nice contrast to ramona, also being standofish and mysterious but wheras ramona is clearly mysterious out of shame for a past she’s not proud of Envy is out of a past.. she has no reason to flee from and was never that bad.The only part Envy kept was Todd which was an objectively bad decision.

Todd meanwhile like all the exes as I re-realized.. is a mirror to scott. Each one has a piece of his worse traits amplified and expanded. So far Patel has been scott’s dorkyness, expanded from

To being a giant showy hipster douche desperate to seem cool and important. Lucas is scott’s afabliity and laziness taken to just outright avoiding a fight.. not nearly as bad as the others given he still has one of Scott’s best qualities with no drawbacks. But Todd.. is probably the ex that mirrors scott the second most. Besides both being base players with shaggy hair, both are delightfully stupid, both have a lot of charisma besides that and both are extremley good in a fight. But noticably.. Todd zigs a lot where Scott zags and the simlarites sort of stop. While both are objectively attractive, Todd is more conventinually chisled while Scott is more adorable, expertly reflected in the movie by having former Superman Brandon Routh opposite former George Micheal, Micheal Cera. Todd’s ablities are mental while Scott’s are entirely in martial arts and later swordplay. Todd has a rough relationship with his dad who never supported him and constnatly doubted him while Scott’s parents fully support him and love him uncdoitoinaly and despite his protests and annoyance with them.. it’s clear he still cares about them and loves them. And most damingly.. Scott treats people like garbage sometimes.. but it’s because he’s oblivoius. He’s a finaical burden on Wallace, cheated on Knives, gave Kim no closure, blew up Stephen’s chances at the big time, and in general can be kind of a dick.. but NONE of that is intetnional. It dosen’t make it okay, the books make that clear.. but it’s why we can still root for him: It’s something that can be fixed. Scott hurts people a lot but he lacks gneuinely malicious intent. He leaves a lot of pain in his wake.. but it’s because he’s socially inept, and again and I say this as someone with atusitim myself, defintely on the spectrum , so he dosen’t GET he’s hurting people unless they tell him. Something that will probably not shock you but I relate to and has happened to me in the past, hence while i’ll clal him a douche or stupid, because he’s both, I do sympathize with the guy as the whilrwilnd of descrution is just him being so intent on being seen as a good person and moving past things he can’t see the wreckage in ihs wake, and the series is about him growing past that mindset.

Todd.. is just an entitled dick who KNOWS he’s probably going to hurt people but does the things anyway because he thinks as a rock star he can do whatever he wants. As a Vegan he’s superior so he’s allwoed to do WHATEVER he wants. He’s so obessed with making his dad not see him as a failure he’s developed an Ego that can only be visualized properly using well.. Ego

That’s what his ego has become. He’s so up his own ass his head is coming out of his mouth somehow. He’s so in love with himself he’s probably googled “How to make a sexy clone of yourself”. He’s scott’s oblivoiusness and selfishness, but with genuine intent. He’s scott if he KNEW what he was doing was wrong.. and said fuck it anyway i’m a rockstar baby. Todd, is EASILY what scott could’ve been at envy’s side had they not broken up.. successful.. but an utter bastard who only cares about themselves. Anyways we cut to practice that night were Stephen is spiraling and Kim declines going to the show.. not for the obvious reasons of wanting to avoid another round of “watch Envy tourture scott before Todd beats his skull in with his psychic powers”, but because she has a date. Lucky bastard. The guys are naturally as tactful as you’d expect about this and suggest she’s doing a collage or puzzles before she shuts htem down and they awkardly recover and I laugh my ass off.

So Scott and Ramona head out, trading some talk and what have you and having some Sushi, not going there often because they can’t afford it.. but it’s cool Scott swipied Wallace’s card. When pressed on his douchebaggery Scott assures her.

We’ll get more into this next time, but needless to say Scott’s mooching is finally becoming a plot point next time. Speaking of next time on the way to the show Ramona realizes “Wait why the hell are we doing this” and convinces Scott not to go as they can relax, have a night off, cuddle and stuff, and then Scott can fight Todd tommorow at the big show. Why DO they need to sit in with two assholes who are only inviting them to fuck with their heads some more. Well okay one asshole while Todd is okay with all this he probably just mubled some “sure whatevers” while trying to solve a rubix cube while Envy outlined her plans to him before rearanging the stickers so he could win.. I Mean with his mind so it’s sitll a little impressive but still.

So they TRY making out, complete with being in their undies.. but it just dosen’t work as both of them keep picturing Envy’s face and that’s not good for either of them.

AND it was at this point fucking tumblr.. ate an hour’s worth of work I just did. Probably not something you need to know or care about but something that pisses me off greatly as I was approaching the end of the review and now have to either retype or entirely rethink what I JUST spent a while working hard on.

And this time I mean it. The only reason i’m not giving up and shelving this review for a bit.. is ithat i’m a stubborn bastard who refuses to give up that easily and who needed to vent about this to somewhere.

So Ramona finally comes clean about Todd.. and in a nice moment admits to cheating on Lucas with him “It wasn’t very nice but I wasn’t a nice person”. It’s a small thing, something I didn’t notice before.. but it’s actually a big step given how guarded Ramona is to admit to doing something this bad. Last volume, just a few days ago time wise, she lied entirely about this and probably has no idea Scott knows already. But she’s being honest, telling him the truth so he’ll be prepared for what’s coming and know the full story. The full story is they were both little shits who raised hell together till Todd disappeared for a while. He shows up as you’d expect, dickishily interupting class before explaning Dairy Scientests kidnapped and experimented on him. He also says this

So he proves his love. in the most badass and horrifying way possible: BY MAKING ONE OF THE TWO BIG NOTICABLE CRATERS ON THE GODDAMN MOON.

One of the series best jokes. Ramona also takes a hard pass to learning about envy and asks about Kim... not for any reason.. just thinks sh’es nice. It’s not like she wants to make out with her face.. a lot. Just.. girl things. SHUT UP. She’s also unsatisfied with Scott’s piss take version of his relationship with her. Closing out the chapter, Knives.. has somehow climbed a huge pile of billboardsi n the middle of tornoto.. which would be awesome.. if it weren’t such a beautifully sad image.

Whelp my heart just exploded with pain at this poor girl whose lost the love of her live, which is a goood thing mind you but dosen’t mean it dosen’t hurt less, her faviorte band and her highlights all in the span of a month. Moving on as we approach the final act, we get a brief scene as Todd orders some Gelato, which is itallian icec ream, very not vegan and Envy does not relaize this. Todd however rants about being a rock star, being so above people and as for the rules

We also get this lovely bit

And then they make out and i’ts treated as a big shocker despite.. us.. finding that out several dozen pages ago. We know already.

Back at Scott and Wallace’s place, Ramona shows up with cool new blue hairdoo, which I agree with Wallace is awesome and admits she changes her hair up every couple of weeks.. someething that in the color version we do see better. We also get a gag that no longer makes sense as he asks if that’s her natural haircolor and she says yay and the caption admits this was funnier in black and white. Eh one or two jokes for some really pretty colors is a fair enough trade.

Scott however once again bitches about his hair, despite Ramona pointing out to him and Wallace that.. there’s like dozens of haircut places within walking distance. I remain unsuprised thier that oblivous. But to shut her boyfriend up she agrees to cut his hair and while they do asks what Envy’s actual name is.. scott’s response .. is pretty heartbreaking “Natalie. She stopped liking it. Then she stopped liking me. So Scott shows up with his NEW HAIR CUT.. aka his old one just trimmed up a bit, but the one you see in modern merch and the game. A bit shaggy but not as long. Scott reassures Stephen whose spiraling with panic that it won’t be the same as last time and they’ll have fun. Kim, understandably and having not been told anything, wonders what “last time was”. After everyone chimes in Kid chamelon i’ts time for another FLASHBACK.. as you were probably expecting by now.. but this time I added some proper effects to spice it up.

So we find out more of whta drove a wedge between the two: Envy slowly but surely took a tryanical death grip on the band, adding some guy named Joel on the drums, possibly the same guy from Crash and the Boys, and bumping Scott to bass, without asking him or Stephen about this and just sorta.. demanding it. While her intetnions are understandable, she just wants the band’s best sound.. her actions are still head tiltingly obnoxious, and clearly show she had not studied rock history yet as usually taking absolute control of the band and ignoring your band mates is the easiet way to destroy a band. Sometimes it’s just envy, pun unintneded but welcome, but yeah.. it’s no wonder they didn’t last. Scott is also shown to be more and more uncomfortable with the band going from a fun thing he did with his friend and girlfriend.. to something that could make him famous.. something he’s very transparently not ready for and dosen’t want. And it makes sense: he was just a dumb college kid in love.. he didn’t start the band for fame or glory.. he just wanted to have fun. Same with his current band. And while in the PRESENT his lack of ambition can be obnoxious and will be a problem in the next volume, here.. he’s still in college and sudeenly got thrust into a career he dosen’t want with a person who no longer loves or respects him. It’s understandable that he’s a nervous , miserable wreck.

So in the present, Stephen is throwing up and asking for julie and Scott.. is a dick and ignores him. Were it anyone else and any other relationship currrently int he books I would actually give a shit. So he wonders around a bit, running into some teens who are intrested in him, word travels fast apparently, Julie, who for once displays a human emotion of concern for Stephen or the closest she can, and thankfully Wallace, Stacey and Micheal,who now has a spooky skeleton ring from the future and badly needs his own spinoff. Stacey TRIES to pump her brother up.. but it’s clear he’s in no good mental place for that and trudges off while Wallace, man of the year, worries about him. One GOOD THING about the astronomical setback that happened is in the orignal draft of this.. I forgot to talk about Stacey. Despite promising to. So here it goes: After this Stacey.. just sorta vanishes from the series. She’s still around and while not super promient gets a decent amount of screentime in the finale, she makes cameos before then. But from this book on she’s no longer a main character like she was in the first two books. There she had several scenes, lots of focus, and her own mini arc in the first one about Wallace stealing her boyfriends. There’s. an actual reason for this as O’Malley regretted naming her after his sister and thus basically stopped writing her unless he had to, sticking her in once in a while to assure fans he hadn’t forgotten her but removing her from the main plot. That being said while his reason is weak.. I dn’t think it’s the ONLY reason she slid into the background. The main cast already had 6 characters, and on top of that this volume heavily focuses on Envy, the next adds Lisa Miller to the mix, and every volume frmo this one on has increased focus on the ex of the week, building them up more as characters and giving them way more screen time. Stacey.. really didn’t have a unique niche or roll in the sotry the other 5 non-scott leads didn’t: Knives filled out the position as the baby of Scott’s friend group, Ramona and Wallace served as better voices of reason, Kim and Wallace had better chemistry with Ramona and thus worked better as her friends, and Stpehn. did nothing she did but still at least had a part to play as band leader and the only one of Sex Bomb-Omb with ambition. Stacey is not a bd character and DID deserve to still be way more prominent.. but her move to the back let Kim take her place and rightfully so. And not just because of the crush on kim thing, Kim’s just more compelling and tha’ts an objective fact. Still would’ve been nice to learn more about Stacey though.

Scott then frees his girlfriend from a conversatoin with Sandra and Monique, as Julie bitchily told both about Gideon which Envy told her about, because as your every couple of paragraphs reminder, Julie is a piece of shit. Scott then orders them some alchols, breaking his usual teetotling and runs into kim, hollie and joseph. with Hollie here to see the band and .. Joseph here to see todd. At least h’es honest.. for this volume. Anyways, our happy couple soon split off for a bit and while we bounce back and forth.. i’m just going to cover what hapepned with each seperately as SOMEHOW tumblr once again ate a good hour’s worth of work, this review is already a day late, and I have both abother one and a dental apointment today. So in short

Ramona and Kim: Kim fills Ramona in on her past.. via tone down, seemingly contridctary, and as we’ll find out later the true version of what happened: She was with Simon, he was a dick, Scott showed up he was also a dick, things happened. I guess. Ramona is disapointed, though Kim does provide some crucial info on her moving to tronto.. and reuniting with scott.

It honestly.. explains a LOT of why Scott is the way he is what happened with Envy. He saw Envy change entirley as a person.. and thus feels changing as a person , and smoking, is a sign of something bad.. when really it just means.. your changing. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst but we area LWAYS changing and it took me a lont time to realize that. The two are distracted from this though by Todd sloppily making out with Lynette in front of everyone.

We’re also reintroduced to Crash and the Boys, now redubbed the boys and crash, and seemingly playing music without intsturments. The thorughly lovely and rediculous explinaton for this and their new gloves and goggles, i’ll save for in a bit.

Scott and Envy, Scott and Knives: Scott goes out to get some air.. only to find Envy, who despite menally tourturing him for a few days insits they talk like regular people.. Scott wisely counters with “Nat when did we ever talk like real people” and while saying he won’t get to call her that again, it still chips down her walls for a second and shows that a bit of who she used to be, loath as she is to admit it, is still there.

Scott then spots knives... and has a moment of truth. And a hell of a series of reaction panels

It’s a VERY good scene.. that i’ve written about TWICE now but regardless, it shows Scott.. genuinely changing. Ignoring his past actions, running away from them and trying to pretend he never fucked up once... that’s been his go to. It’s his main flaw and hte one that takes the entire series to deal with as we’ll get into. And it’s here.. he faces it for the first time. He’s scared of knives at first.. but realizes.. he genuinely hurt her, and she’s where she is, cold, alone, and huddled in an ally lost and confused, because of him. Sure Envy hurt her.. but so did he.. and what’s worse. he did it just like Envy hurt him. Not thinking of her as a persona nd throwing her away when he didn’t need her. And so after books of build up.. he finally takes some responisblity and talks to her. It’s WHY the books work: Sure scott’s a dick, and remains a bit of one throughout, but.. he means well, isn’t inteitonally a standoffish prick, and slowly grows PAST this, and tries to be better, for Ramona.. and just because it’s the right thing to do.

So Knives reflects on the past few weeks, admitting that it’s been unbearably painful.. but she can’t and won’t go back to who she used to be. She’s lost her innocnce and all that, been dumped by the “love of her life”, been punched in the face by her faviorite drummer and treated like dogshit by her faviorite artist. Todd did nothing for once but gets no credit because of who we’re dealing with here. Point is.. it was a lot and while sh’es not HAPPY.. she’s greatful for it. Scott however.. steps up, saying what Envy did was wrong, she deserved better.. and finally, after how terribly he broke up wit hher.. apologizes for how he hurt her. And while Knives takes this as hope they’l get back together, Scott continues to be very mature, especially for his usual behavior, telling her no, it won’t happen, to give neil a try as whle she is dating him because he looks like Scott he’s not all bad, and that wallce was right: she was too good for him. And while Knives isn’t ready to accept it.. Scott did the right thing. Good for you man.

So while he, and later kim and stephen seperatly, get ready, Ramona.. runs into Envy. Whose oddly nice for ahlf a second.. before bringing up Gideon and giving Ramona a barrage of insults, clearly trying ONCE AGAIN, to knock her down and wreck her. Thing is while Scott clearlya nd understandably has baggage with Envy is easy prey for her manipulative elephant dung, Ramona. isn’t. All Envy’s done is piss her off more and more with each act of high school level mean girl bullshit... and sh’es done with it.

FIGHT’S ON. This Volume.. is honestly where Ramona really comes into bloom, pun intended, as the duetragonist of the books. While the book IS about Scott getting his life together and their relationship and he’s still her hero.. the books are also about RAMONA growing as a person, her own flaws and past, and the climax of all of them.. is just as much about her as it is scott. And this book has her own flaws come into play: Just like Scott she runs from the past, from who she was, and only faces it when needed, which will become more apparent as we go. But at the same time, we get to see far more of her personality as a result as her mysterious facade continues to drop. She’s prone to getting upset, but also clever and witty and knows her limits, knowing that going to that second performance would’ve just done no good and knowing herself very well, something Scott has genuine trouble with. She’s strong, sarcastic and knows who she is and what she wants and this volume finally brings that into focus. Not only that but her fight with Envy, is just as warranted, climatic and awesome as Scott’s fight coming up, as no one has stood up to envy due to her fame.. but Ramona.. dosen’t care. Someone’s gotta stop her, and Ramona’s taking up the job. And the awesome looking hammer.

That being said taking up a giant hammer against a beloved celebrity dosen’t win you any point, so Ramona finds herself discouraged, even if Envy can very clearly handle herself. Thankfully she gets some encouragment from exactly who you’d expect.

And Wallce.. turns out to be pretty useful. At least in this one fight. His shouting not only gives Ramona her fight back.. but keeps distracting envy, leaving her wide open. The tide turns though when Wallace has to pee, and Envy uses the distraction to knock the hamme rout of Raona’s hand and prepare to flatten her. But once again.. someone save sher in the knick of time.. and this time it’s the LAST person you’d expect, as Knives gives the hammer a flying kick.. and then crashes into a wall, and when Ramona, understandably not getting this since she tried to turn her into swiss cheese earlier this week, asks why, Knives admit’s she just wants Scott to be happy. Knives has grown too, and while she’s still obessed with Scott and waiting for themt o break up.. she’s no longer going to try and wedge her way in. If Ramona is what Scott wants, tha’ts what he gets.

All three are distracted by well.. this...

State of your outfits mates. Though that line is iconic. But serously the outfits are hilaroiusly and reaslitically mismatched. Kim’s home made and overdone gothica lolita outfit that dosen’t match her AT ALL, goth yes , poofy goth no. Stephen’s johnny cash outfit he clearly had lying around and Scott’s Dad Suit.

That being said.. still the best looking one of the three. But Envy takes advantage to regrab the hammer and try and murder the two of them.. but Scott sees this.. and well... you get it by now, one more time. Bake me away toys!

So we get the final weeks or days or whatever of the relationship. In a nice parallel to Scott playing Ramona a song he does the same for Envy.. who both questions what this is for then is confused why he’d do something so sweet. Next scene is her getting a call while their cuddling in bed from some guy she idntiefies as Jason and.. barely disguises is clearly cheating on Scott with. and could possibly be todd I dunno. After that we get to Kid Chamelon preparing to sign a deal and Envy.. trying to press Scott into sginging it, ignoring his obvious discomfort, and then casually threanting to replace him. While Scott does give us a face punchingly dickish comment about “How he started this band to meet chicks and maybe he met the wrong chick”... he’s still somehow in the right as while he’s being a manic dickhead... Envy has ceased seeing him as a person or even something she cares about and tells him to get a hair cut and leave.

We then get the breakup itself as Scott goes up to envy.. and she tells him to get out of her life. ack in the present, Scott’s grown enough to realize he has to stop her and does so.. by touching hte back of her knee which.. uhhhh.

So yeah.. he beat her with an orgasm, and that looks oddly hot. And i’m moving on before that last part of the sentence sinks in. Envy, once she recovers, orders Todd to do a murder on them, but Todd’s not there and Ramona, naturally, brags about him having cheated on her. Envy.. denis.. this.

I .. don’t have time to unpack that. This review is late, I have two other reviews to get to today. Time for ANOTHER flashback.

This time it’s Envy teling a story bok verion of her and Toddd’s relationship. It’s a real poetic and well done sequence. In a nuthsell: Envy and Todd were best friends and deeply in love as kids until todd moved away i’m guessing sometime in middle school. Deeply depressed, Envy sailed through life as sort of a ghost, TRYING to find another connection like that, but failing. Todd returned after she graduated though, and gave her a symbol of his love.. a hole on the moon. Yes another one. And they both promised to never waiver as he went off to the vegan academy. Clearly Envy did with Scott... but it paints her ambition in another light. One where she wanted to be big and bold enough for him.. but slowly carved out her old self to do so.

And as is obvious it was pointlness: not only did Envy love someone else.. but Todd never cared as much as she did. As Ramona points out, and relcutnantly because even she feels a little bad about this one, he did the moon trick with her.. and this time Envy CAN’T deny it.. becaue the evidence is right there.

And of course Todd.. makes his case even WORSE by picking that moment to come out of the bathroom, sipping up his pants, with panties on his head, and with Lynette following right after him. Envy.. tries to murder Lynette, her go to, but LYnette teleports out. Because she can do that. Though Envy does hit her cyborg arm so she looes that and the panties and Ramona offers to mount it at her place if Kim takes the panties, but kim admits she wasn’t scrapbooking, she said she was and was just making the dress. Horay, as ramona puts it “Col se can still be friends. Right.. FRIENDS.

Envy TRIES to cave Todd’s skull in, get some therapy woman, but Todd naturally tk’s it away but despite being the king of all assholes DOES care enough not to fight her. Envy... plays nice then knees him in the nuts like he fucking deserves. Todd then returns to being the once and future douchebag by TK’ing her into the crowd and bragging about it.

Scott dosen’t take this well, even after everything and the final fight begins. They have a bass fight.. but like the game i’ts redicuously one sided since Todd both is a skilled bassist compared to Scott.. and is still using his psychic powers lest you forget he’s a bastard man.

The Boys and Crash however show up to even the odds.. and their trainig is the reason they can play music without insturments as they can now manipulate pur sound. Fucking beautiful. But even they aren’t enough and Todd swats them aside.

While poorly is a bit harsh.. the vegan police show up, which is awesome, though the movie got thomas jane for one of them and had that high five so they win. But yeah.. while this is hilarous.. and the scene with them is great.. it’s also the weakest part of an otherwise near perfect book. It just feels a bit anti clmatic that after all this build up.. Todd is just.. beaten with a sloppy depower. The boys and crash would’ve still been a cop out, but it would’ve been a freaking cool cop out. The thing that saves it is afterwords Scott still gets an epic finish: after they devganize him for the gelato earlier, scott headbutts him epicly and wins. He gets money and.

A 1-up, which understandibly terrfies him but will come in hand in a few volumes. Trust me. Scot checks on everyone. Ramona’s fine, Envy is not and breifly blames scott before he points out Todd was a no good cheating dickwad, and Kim is obviously fine as nothing happend, but him asking is a nice bit of charcter growth. Kim asks about kinves but she’s okay and neil is helping her. But theshow must go on and since the headliners are dead (don’t worry he’ll respawn), in parts unknown and in emotoinal apocalypse, someone’s gotta play.

So our heroes have the show of their lives, and crowd reaction is mostly positive with Jospeh noticing htier levels were horrible, a hint for next time, and the crew interviewing everyone.. including a mysterous gentleman having a beer, who has no commenta nd walks away.

Gideon.. was here the whole time,but he’s not ready for Scott JUST yet. Still a really damn cool tease for the final boss.

So we close the next day, Scott and Envy sorta make up, with both apologizing for their behavor and while Scott gets no closure, envy promises to return.. and makes good on it. But.. that’s for the finale. For now Scott’s girlfriend and best buddy give him a moment to baste in his pathos, before heading off. And in a nice bit of metaphor, the clouds part, and our three amigos walk off into the sunset and a bright future. Three down 4 to go. Next time: Lesbian Artist Ninjas! Side Stories! Scott Gets A Job! The Band gets a producer! Kim gets a decent apartment and a boyfriend! Lisa returns! See you in feburary.

Until then if you liked this review, spread it around andi f ther’es a comic you want me to cover, my comissions are open. Until the next rainbow, it was a pleasure.

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim and the infinite sadness #ramona flowers #wallace wells #kim pine #stephen stiles #neil nordgraf #envy adams #todd ingram #lynette gycott #julie powers #other scott #monique #sandra #college #comics #Brian Lee O'malley #oni press

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