#BUT ofc bestie! i am cooking as we speak

[ihatebnha]

uh i know you are not too well rn with like answering asks and shit AND THAT IS TOTALLY FINE NO WORRIES feel free to ignore this but fuck did i have a shit week and i am currently drunk and everything just sucks balls and i was wondering if you could give the poor (aka me) some shoto headcanons you have? can be the RANDOMEST shit i just wanna laugh at my serotonin boi or feel something that isnt wanting to d word (!not seriously! i am just dramatic) okay thanksBUT FEEL FREE TO IGNORE IF YOU WANT

"not too well" LMFAOOOO BESTIE treating me like the sick victorian child i am, IT'S TRUE!!!

you are absolutely the sweetest tho, so incredible, and i'm so sorry to hear you've had a hard week! headcanons are somewhat easy for me so OFC i can think about this with you! i really hope u feel better (and not t o o hungover) soon tho, keep me updated!🥺🥺🥺

hope these are okay! i love u <3

(warning: gender neutral i think... mostly fluffy things like shopping and talking on the phone anddddddd him being on ur side during fights)

-

LMFAOOO I guess to dive right in, one of my fave personal Todoroki headcanons is that he LOVES being on the phone with you

Whether you're actually speaking to him about something important or just breathing into the receiver, he's paying attention

Which is funny because even when you're not talking to him... if you don't put the phone on speaker, he's getting real close to you just so he can hear what's being said...

Also does the: *mouths* "who is that?" or asks the literal second you hang up when you're talking to someone else...

(Your friends are like" "y/n... is that Todoroki in the background?"

At the same time, though, he can't use facetime for the life of him. He really does try, but it just goes super terribly because he literally isn't able to sit or hold the phone still and talk at the same time

Though it's more: "why would we video call when I could just come over?" except he literally means it...

(So stick to voice calls unless he's away on missions LOL)

And while I definitely think Todoroki is soft (and especially with you), we can't forget he's also super... headstrong, too

He's the boyfriend who does not shy away from (politely) sending back a wrong order or asking for extra napkins or something

And even more so, defending you when you need it

(I talked about Bakugo doing this too, but) Any fight you need to fight becomes his fight, too

Whether it's against your family or your boss or WHOEVER, he's stepping up to bat LOL it's honestly insane

"Actually, I think y/n said..." or, "you're being really unreasonable about _. I think _..." and it ends up being really forceful and cold... that type of stuff

(BRUH AND if it's over phone/text, he'll try to take the phone away from you so his input can be heard)

And maybe this is just some kind of trauma response for him, but I think he will literally only watch kids movies. Literally. Absolutely refuses to watch anything other than like, the latest D*sney movie

"They're actually very entertaining" like ???

Also, you know that one meme "It's a banana, how much could it cost? $13?" THAT'S HIM!!!

You honestly can't go shopping with him because if you even breathe in the direction of something, EVEN IF YOU DON'T NEED IT, he's trying to buy it

Whether you're at the grocery store or the Gucci outlet... "OMG, look at that—" *putting it in the cart*

And getting him to put anything back is almost i m p o s s i b l e (even if the reasoning is logical, like you can't eat 7 expensive pudding cups before they expire)

So, love language as gift giving, most definitely

Also LMFAO, literally horrible at giving fashion advice

Refuses to say you look bad in anything even when you obviously look bad... because "even if it's unflattering, I don't mind what you look like. If you like it, wear it..."

Bruh.

ACTUALLY THOUGH it's the same with cooking. You could make a recipe entirely wrong and he just would not notice OR admit it

It's funny, too... because even if you didn't cook it or he doesn't like whatever it is, he absolutely wants a bite of whatever you're eating

"But... you don't even like hot fries?" + "So?"

(Cal also had that amazing toxic trait for him about how he's always just... eating your food LMFAOOO and I 100% agree)

And oh my god, this man is like a fucking... gnome??? I don't know, but he literally saves everything you give him. EVERYTHING.

He definitely has a special spot for all the trinkets/notes/gifts you've ever gotten him... and you probably find a 3-year-old dried out flower or something from a card you gave him in his desk at some point

(And when you go to toss it, he's like, "give that back. I was saving it" LOOOL)

I also think... whatever books he sees you reading, he tries to read, too

And he gets weirdly invested in activities you can do as a couple... even though he's also kinda competitive about some of them

You knit, he knits (and looks over at your piece ever two seconds)... you take yoga, he takes yoga...

And God forbid you do something by yourself, because he's AT LEAST going with you to watch you do it (and cheer you along, too)

Soccer dad vibes except its just for you LOL

AND FINALLY... I literally spent all of dinner secretly laughing about the fact he absolutely sleeps in EITHER: a matching silk pajama set, or like a traditional grandpa: in a webbed tank top + trunks.

So fucking funny to see him getting water in the middle of the night like this:

Honestly... he probably even sits like an old man, too:

[lunaastoir]

fluff/relationships w the liyue crew

characters included: xiao, childe, beidou, and zhongli

ik i forgot ningguang i promise i’ll include her in part 2, i just didn’t have time :(

all x a gn! reader 

my liyue babies :,) ft. ningguang in spirit

an: i was listening to my soft playlist (more like listening to cupid’s chokehold on repeat, no i am not basic 🔪) and i thought some fluff headcanons would be cute w these sweet people

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

xiao

ok so no surprise that he hates liyue harbor

he hates anything w a lot of people in it so he prefers to stay at wangshu inn tyvm

but by contrast, you love liyue harbor sm (it’s gorgeous i mean c’mON)

you go there often to retrieve your commissions in order to stay closer to xiao (liyue harbor is closer than mondstadt he argues but you’re well aware that they’re both equally far away)

so if anyone asked, xiao would absolutely refuse to go to the harbor like i hate people??? why would you even ask???

but,,,he’s so sOFT for you

if you asked??? he would agree in a heartbeat

but since he’s >:( angsty boy, he makes you think that he won’t go even when he’s already decided that he’s coming w you

he puts up the “if you so require, then i guess i will assist you with your travels in liyue harbor” but in reality he would definitely have said yes even without the almond tofu

while he hates the harbor, he thinks that with you anything is bearable :,) simp

you take him to see xinyan to vibe w her music and you can tell he really enjoys it

even tho he’s like 🕴 the entire time, you see the softer look on his face and the very slight smile on his lips as he listens to the music and watches the crowd

so so so cute very soft for him

i do see him as a subtly touchy person in public like brushing the hair off your face, swiping his thumb across your cheek, or gently pulling your hair back when you have a plate of food in your hands 

the type to link your pinkies together - he claims it’s so you don’t get lost but yk better 

after the concert is done you take him to that one waypoint near mt. tianheng and the both of you just watch the city lights and the way they reflect beautifully on the water surrounding the harbor 

personal headcanon that xiao absolutely loves stargazing since he believes the stars are the one true constant in his life especially since he’s experienced so much loss (basically they’ll never leave him god i hate myself why do i make everything SAD)

mini headcanon off of that - he doesn’t stargaze with people,,, like ever 

it’s something he loves to do alone so the fact that he lets you stargaze w him and even allows you to shift your head onto his lap while you watch the sky is a huge deal 

he loves it when you softly whisper abt how your day was or something you saw that made you laugh 

he just loves hearing your voice, it automatically calms the voices in his head 

you absolutely ADORE when he has flowers in his hair especially cecilias (cecillias? ceccillias? idfk) and you make a point whenever you go to mondstadt to pick a fresh batch of cecilias just for xiao while enlisting the help of your favorite bard  

these soft moments on the mountain are usually when you’ll sweetly tuck in a flower or two in his hair while laughing 

he’ll blush fiercely while looking away but will tuck the cecilias in securely as you’re unable to do so due to the position you’re in on his lap

all in all - this was not meant to come out as a date idea but we’re going w it 

this is so cute xiao pls let me put flowers in your hair sweet boy <3

childe

god, loml, my favorite war criminal after eren yeager 

there’s never a dull moment w this man - if you wanted peace and quiet, why the hell are you dating him bestie???

is the type of person to yell out “Y/N, i can’t believe i ran into you here!” if he sees you somewhere even tho you explicitly told him you were going to be here in the morning (ik you have a good memory ajax don’t lie to me 😐)

i don’t see him as being obnoxious w pda unlike someone else kaeya but he would definitely participate (think: handholding, cheek kisses, an arm around your shoulders)

loves it when he comes home and sees you in an apron cooking 

domesticity just makes his heart melt so you can be sure that your face will be peppered w a lot of kisses afterwards <3 

absolutely ADORES it when you trace his scars absentmindedly when you’re lying down or even when you’re having dinner in public  

he’s been far from his family for so long that small acts of mindless affection like this really make his heart happy 

you have him drunk on your love luv haha see what i did there 

he will let you put makeup on him. no i do not take criticism ⛄️

he already has on lowkey thick eyeliner,,, don’t be shy put some more bestie 

he will shamelessly go out in public w whatever you made him wear - doesn’t really give a shit even tho he has a reputation to maintain 

speaking of reputation,,, yk his mask? yeah that one - the red hair accessory that he has on his head

well on the mask, he attached a little charm the both of you got together on your first date during lantern rite 

it’s this adorable fox that we all shamelessly kill for meat and he placed it so it anchored to the side of his mask so when he fights it isn’t a nuisance or anything (does that make sense??? i hope it does) 

his subordinates notice and while they’re stoic around childe, behind closed doors they do whisper abt the mysterious person who’s captured his heart 

not so mysterious anymore when they literally see him cling onto you during his daily patrol around the harbor 💀

it’s ok tho he’s lucky he’s cute 

bestie,,, pls give him a neck massage 

i just KNOW he’s tense there idk something abt the way he carries himself just screams “my neck hurts so bad someone pls help me i would ask but my pride literally will not let me”

so give him a neck massage :) don’t worry tho he’ll definitely return the favor and then some

LOVES TICKLE FIGHTS 

he’s obsessed w them,,, it’s just the faces you make??? he can’t get enough 

he loves seeing the pure joy and the brief fear (he’s kind of a sadist) in your eyes before he attacks you w those damned hands 

it reminds him a lot of simpler times w his siblings and he’s happy he brings you joy and makes you forget your worries - at least for a little while 

all in all, he’s a good boy and no i will not tolerate childe slander 🔪 kaeya slander tho 😏

beidou

you pulled beidou??? wow everyone’s jealous (pulled as in literally from the banner and in this context but no i do not have beidou and no i definitely do not want to talk abt it)

god made beidou and zhongli just so all of us could have a sexuality crisis 

anyways, being w her is hard i will not lie 

not bc she isn’t a capable lover - no, quite the contrary 

she’s an amazing partner but the problem here lies in the fact that she’s almost never on land 

it’s hard working a long distance relationship but y’all love each other so it works out :,) 

when she is physically present however, expect to never be bored 

she’ll quietly fix the wrinkles on your shirt or fiddle with your fingers in her hands while she recounts her adventures out on sea 

she sometimes gets worried she bores you, however the way your eyes light up every time she tells a tale always reassures her otherwise

definitely the type to let you use her claymore if you want to learn 

she’ll provide useful tips as she tucks her hands into your sides gently, positioning you correctly so you don’t hurt yourself 

miss girl is an AMAZING cook 

i just know she cooks the best meals - i mean she’s friends w xiangling after all 

whenever she comes home from a voyage she’ll always insist on making something for you even if she’s abt to pass out 

pls tuck her into bed and promise her that she can make you something in the morning <3 the poor woman needs rest 

brings you back trinkets but they’re actually very practical 

she knows you won’t have much use for a simple charm (not that there’s anything wrong w that) but she believes you’ll like something practical more so she might get you a new engraved knife from the most recent place she’s been to 

definitely the type to surprise you when she docks 

i can imagine her anchoring her ship out a little ways from liyue harbor and rowing to the dock in order to make sure you aren’t alerted of her presence (i’m sorry the mental picture this made in my mind is SENDING ME INTO ORBIT but she means well i love you)

will take you to remote spots she’s found in her travels through liyue 

for example - the little heart shaped island and the island quest (?) that you had to use kaeya the bridge maker for in order to get to im sorry i’ll stop w the kaeya slander

she’ll get you seashell bracelets or necklaces idk why but she gives me those vIBES 

they’re super nice ones too, only the highest quality for you 

yes she’s a bruh girl but i also see her as someone who would enjoy intimate moments like watching the sunset or something 

“yo wanna catch the sunset, i heard it looks sick from the jade chamber” said before ahem it yk fell from the sky

kasdjksfashfjsahf yes ofc i would love to catch the sunset w you pls come home luv

anyways, she is a woman i would give the world for 

zhongli

ok gimme a sec i need to get my gentleman mode on 

this man,,, THIS MAN 

everything w him is so soft like your entire eXISTENCE w him could go in a museum it’s that beautiful 

in the morning when he visits you, he always brings you a cup of your favorite tea and a bouquet of glaze lilies he got from madame ping

holds the door for you, pushes the chair out for you, uses a napkin and brushes sauce off your lips when you’re eating - you name something sweet, he’s done it

secretly loves it when you fuss over him 

he doesn’t like to fight but say he encountered a group of hillichurls he couldn’t avoid and promptly defeated them but ended up tearing a part of his tux(?) (is it a tux? i could not tell you)

not that big of a deal, i mean it’s a scratch, he’s a 6,000 year old god, he’s dealt w much worse 

but seeing the worried crease in your brows as you usher him to sit at the table while quickly grabbing antiseptic to clean his wound

“it’s just a scratch, my dear. do not worry i’ve dealt with much worse.”

you quietly protest abt how “yes zhongli, i understand you’re an archon and have gotten worse injuries but i’m worried about infection just please let me take care of you ok? <3″ 

when you say that he feels weird emotions,,, wdym take care of him? 

he’s always taken care of himself or been expected to take care of others as the former ruling deity of liyue so having someone else genuinely worry abt his wellbeing creates a warm feeling in his chest 

he strikes me as the type to knit you something??? idk maybe it’s the grandpa vibes but i headcanon that he would knit you a scarf for the colder weather, it’s cute 

in the privacy of your home, he really likes picking you up

he loves it when you wrap your legs around his middle while he gets up to go do the dishes or smthg 

domesticity go brrrr

if you’re into making flower crowns, he would totally have you on his lap and wordlessly hand you a glaze lily whenever you expectantly hold your hand out while weaving the flowers together 

he expects you to make the crown for yourself but when you place the crown on his head and it fits perfectly while simultaneously tucking a glaze lily behind your ear, he looks at you dumbstruck 

his mouth parts open in awe and it’s quite literally the cutest thing

you’ve broken him 

thinks it’s the sweetest thing - will keep it on his head for the whole day 

he’ll even put it in water before he sleeps so it won’t wilt and he can wear it the next day <3 

scenic picnics!! scenic picnics!! 

the type to take you to the nicest spots in liyue to chat abt the history of the land w you over a cup of tea and your favorite food (whatever you like, he doesn’t mind)

recounts the people he’s met in his long life before finishing off by saying you’re by far the best person he’s met 

zhongli strangles lovingly come home soon 

thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3 

[sparrowmoth]

A, T and Z for the ask game? <3

@moorsgrimhilde Thank youuu, my dear! 💖

A - Ships that you currently like a lot.

I’m completely, utterly, madly obsessed with Matchablossom. 👉👈 I’m planning to write fic for them at some point, which is the highest honour I can bestow upon an OTP djakgjsdkgkd.

I’ve also got lots of TWST dynamics, romantic and platonic, on the brain. Jamikali and Malvil my beloveds, plus ultimate besties Jamivil, etc, etc. I want to write (more) fic for these ones, but my muse has been shy so idk when it’ll happen.

And ofc ofc I’m STILL and forever into Jaylos, but after thinking about nothing but them for two years straight, I’ve been letting them cool off a bit so I can enjoy them fresh, you know?

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

I wouldn’t seriously die defending any of my headcanons since I find it… off-putting when other people unironically treat theirs as Secret Canon, so to speak, but that said, hmmmm, here's some faves...

Descendants: Carlos and Mal are nonbinary. Carlos and Evie were best friends growing up (out of my way, book canon djakgjksdg). Jay has dyscalculia. Jafar murdered Jay’s mother (I wrote a short fic about that particular headcanon). Some years after getting to know him, Roger and Anita decide to surprise Carlos with one of their dalmatian puppies as the ultimate show of trust and belief that he’s not like his mother (I wrote that one into a short fic, too). Beast is cheating on Belle with Fairy Godmother and everyone knows it.

TWST: Jamil has a pet tiger (remember how we talked about this, yeah, it lives in my head rent free). Kalim is like a Disney princess with animals. He opens his window and wild birds just come and perch there and sing to him and climb all over his arms and shoulders and he has one-sided conversations with them because he’s actually really desperately lonely and always yearning for no-strings-attached connection.

Vil has a cat (you: “named PRADA” and ur so right for it), which Malleus gave him. The cat is white and fluffy and has the soul of a diva idk ajskgjsdkgd. Malleus plays piano and violin well enough to perform at a concert hall, but he never brags about it or plays for anyone outside his family and, later, Vil, so it’s a little known fact about him. Vil plays guitar (as a hobby, so he’s pretty low-key about it; he likes to relax by sitting alone in his room in comfy clothes and composing songs on the acoustic guitar he inherited from his mother when she passed, which is another headcanon I have about Vil) and flute (professionally trained for a role, but it’s not his passion).

SK8: Kaoru doesn’t use labels, but if he did, he might choose nonbinary or genderqueer. Kaoru and Kojiro are both cat people. Kojiro likes to sing while he cooks and has a really beautiful voice, but he doesn’t seem to realize it; Kaoru thinks about complimenting him on it sometimes in moments of weakness. Kojiro’s hair is naturally curly, but he straightened it for a while in high school. Kaoru and Kojiro end up adopting Miya at some point. How it happens matters less than that they do.

Magi: Ja’far is ace and Sinbad is aro. That’s the most important headcanon I have for them. 💕

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go!

FREE SPACE. NICE. I’m going to use this free space to ramble about how much I love you, Sofia. I know we’ve talked about this before and even just the other day, but I’m so happy the Descendants fandom brought us together and I’m even happier that you got me into TWST (and SK8!! You’re responsible for that too djsakgjksdg). I just love our conversations, they’re so much fun and you always vibe on my wavelength. You’re so sweet and so passionate and upbeat and funny (I’m still thinking about that “with your tears?” line DAJSKGJSDKG… I stg I’m going to incorporate that into the fic when I write it) AND JUST I think you’re really neat and I am a fan. Of you. djsakgjkdsg. 💖💖

A - Z Fandom Asks

[jjuzoir]

request: Hello! Can I ask headcanons about being childhood!besties with Miya twins (about child and about adults)? (by nonnie!)

a/n: ofc baby!! sorry for taking so long 🤧 every time i try writing something happens it’s ridiculous 😔 anyway sorry if it’s bad ive been ✨struggling✨

- Being friends with one of them is like, hard enough— but the two? Good luck.

- You three met via your parents— yes, it’s like that, you were the new kid and awkward as hell. Your parents were having none of that shit and made a playdate for you with the twins, it’s embarrassing, you were like 13 and that’s kind of embarrassing for you and you knew it.

- Like, here you were a newly turned teenager, sitting on a couch with two guys your age all watching a weird cartoon and you all want to die.

- But at some point, you three start acting like you had known each other for your whole lives. You three fight to this day on who cracked the ice, Atsumu swears it was him and his sense of humor but you and Osamu are not taking that shit, like with what humor?

- You start hanging out after school, since you three went to the same school it started bleeding into school time and your teachers hated you three.

- During middle school you three were known to your teachers for being insufferable— more like, Atsumu and you. You two were the type of kids to pass fake notes with the stupidest shit written on it, like middle school humor, “Miss Poopy Pants” and “ICUP” so the teachers would have to read it aloud.

- Osamu and you? Known to the lunch ladies, you two were the first to arrive and gobble down anything and everything especially onigiri. They even snuck you two snacks for class— yes, you were the kids who had a whole grill in the back. Always eating.

- You three didn’t skip class though— I feel like Atsumu might’ve tried to convince you but ultimately forgot.

- During gym you three would always be in the same team if you could pick but it would end with Atsumu and Osamu fighting about dodgeball and getting disqualified leaving you alone.

- They got into Volley around then and you became their number one cheerleader, you’d fight anyone who’d say they weren’t good.

- By high school you three were known for being kind of chaotic!

- You know your parent’s discussed what school they’d put the three of you together in, they joked about separating you guys and you almost cried no joke.

- So you three go to Inarizaki together and when I tell you everyone is annoyed by you three and your shit I mean it 💕

- Especially the volleyball club, you decided to become their manager at the same time the twins got in— they were happy, finally a manager and some new kids; good, good.

- Until they learned about how absolutely full of shit the three of you are, Atsumu and Osamu are already a handful together but you? You add a whole new spice to this shit and it’s ✨embarrassing✨ for them.

- You and ‘Tsumu always goof off and get lost because you two were fighting over something, it takes the whole team’s willpower to not let you stranded.

- “All I’m saying is since Osamu looks like Atsumu, would anyone really notice if we just dye his hair yellow?”

- But they are also thankful, you manage to bring a semblance of peace during their fights. It doesn’t take much for you to calm them down, so they keep you around even if you sometimes distract the two of them too much.

- You’re still their number one cheerleader! Whenever they manage to score you’re the first to jump around and congratulate them, they’d never tell you but it’s kind of sweet seeing you so proud of them. They’d rather die than tell you though so shh.

- You being there brings a new level of competitiveness, they gotta make you proud! You’re cheering your little heart out for them; they can’t embarrass you now.

- But you can't always win, so whenever they (unfortunately) lose, you’re always the first to comfort them. You all go to your house and chill for a while, they get kinda quiet and you can feel how tense they are but they’d rather spend the afternoon after a bad match with you.

- Bet your ass you three watch Power Rangers and you all fight about who the best Ranger is; Atsumu says it’s Red Ranger and Osamu is about to snap his neck when there’s a whole Black Ranger, but they can agree to bully you when you say you like Green the best.

- Back to you being their manager, I feel like they’re kind of better behaved? Like, they get into less trouble and are less likely to fight because Kita sends you to scold them and it’s embarrassing being scolded by someone who thought the Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters was also Michelin Man.

- Now to their individual quirks; Osamu loves it when you help him cook or cook for him, he feels all happy you take the time to make him something— especially when they’re practicing, he really appreciates you coming in with some food for him and the team. He likes the fact you take care of him in small ways!

- “Awww, the little bug cares about me~”

- “Shut up, next time I’m putting cyanide in your stupid Onigiri.”

- Atsumu likes it when you’re just there, not even talking, just vibing together. He likes how you two don’t have to always talk to know what’s going on, it’s probably what he loves the most about your friendship. The fact you just get each other is something he kind of loves.

- Sometimes ruins it by saying dumb shit but it’s okay ♥︎ No it’s not ♥︎

- “Do you ever think about Taemin Paula, like who’s Paula and why are they taming her?”

- “‘Tsumu go back to being quiet, please just shut up.”

- Oh, let’s talk S/O! The two of them are protective over you, you’re their best friend!

- Osamu is more vocal about what he dislikes, he flat out tells you not to go out with them, pointing out all of what he doesn’t like and why he gets bad vibes or why he feels like they’re just not it.

- Atsumu doesn’t say much, he’s got his fair share of flings and dates— good and bad, though, it’d be unfair of him to tell you what to do. But you can tell when he doesn’t like someone you’re seeing.

- This is only if they feel like the person isn’t good enough, it’s not like they don’t want you to date. They’re just careful of it, you’re like a sibling to them and they wouldn’t want you to get heartbroken.

- Speaking about heartbreak; they get very mad at the person, you’re amazing! Why’d they go and fuck you over like that.

- Atsumu would throw hands, it’s in sight with the other person; especially if he never got bad vibes from them, he’s so mad he wasn’t there to see the red flags.

- Osamu is behind him and he’s not stopping his brother, he knew something wasn’t right about them and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t give them a piece of his mind.

- But at the end of the day, what’s most important to them is making sure you’re alright at the end of the day. They care about you, dummy.

- They’d come over to your house and cheer you up, Atsumu would tell his jokes and Osamu and you would laugh at how bad they are 💖

- “I’m glad you feel better but I’m startin’ to feel kinda bad here myself-“ “Maybe get better jokes <3”

- Once you three graduate you still keep in touch, probably more with Osamu since he’s not always busy like Atsumu; in other words, even during your adult they torment you 💕

- You’re so proud of the two of them though? Like, you’re always bragging about them, it’s just so !! Seeing the kids you grew up with become successful? Amazing.

- “Have I told you about how my childhood best friend is a PROFESSIONAL, yes PROFESSIONAL, volleyball player?”

- “[Name], I am literally his fucking brother shut up.”

- Osamu and you totally make fun of Atsumu, it’s gotten to the point you always try embarrassing more each game. Your latest (very successful, much to Atsumu’s dismay) attempt was wearing shirts with ugly childhood pictures of Atsumu, I’m talking about the type your parents bring up to make fun of you and a banner that said “Tsu-Tsu our superstar!” or something like that.

- He almost cried on national television, he was horrified, the worst part? You were in front row seats meaning that everyone the camera panned in to one of the players you’d be in full view.

- “Atsumu, is that [Name] and Osamu?” “You were so fucking ugly as a child oh my god-“

- Sakusa is having a field trip with this, that thing won’t die as long as he lives— this man will film this shit, tape it and pass it as a family heirloom.

- “Kiyoomi could you-?”

- “Don’t talk to me you gremlin baby.”

- “This was months ago, let it die!”

- “You lived your whole childhood looking like that, I don’t think I will.”

- The three of you reminiscing about high school together at Onigiri Miya? Yes, it happens and it’s ♥︎

- “Do you remember when Osamu shoved a marble up his nose, stupid kid…”

- “Tch, rough words for a fucker who bit into a brick because it looked tasty.”

- “I was young!”

- “You were 16, piss head.”

- A lot of the time you just like spending time with each other, even during your busy schedules you always do your best to talk to each other at least once a month.

- Sometimes it’s just talking over the phone and other times it’s going to fancy restaurants that Atsumu pays, other times it can also be trying to make new recipes with Osamu as Atsumu just cringes in the back.

- They're just always there for you, yes you fight and yes they’re kind of annoying but you care for them and you don’t mind it. You’d rather spend a whole other lifetime having to endure their teasing than not have them at all.

[mrs-daddyissues]

considerably

~ C H A P T E R   2 ~

~ Masterlist ~

Pairing: Alfred Pennyworth x OFC

Series Summary: Sarabi Nichols is Bruce Wayne’s life long friend that aids in creating weaponry and making outfits. When she was younger she had a thing for Bruce but now her taste has aged. Considerably. Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce’s guardian and butler is more her style now. Despite this knew found liking, Sarabi feels trapped. She can’t talk to Bruce about it and clearly can’t mention it to Alfred. The only person she has is her best friend, Claudia. Sarabi has to fight the things she feels for the older man because he could never feel the same way back, right?

{Normal} Playlist

{Slowed+Reverb} Playlist

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 1426

Author’s Note:

This part should be much more interesting but be warned, this story is kind of a slow burn *evil laughter*. It is a bit slow but the pay off will be worth it. I promise.

Sarabi awoke to find herself wrapped in the warm embrace of her bed. The black and gold covers engulfed her body as soft morning light poured through the sheer window curtains. Sarabi was still dressed in her clothes from the night before. Sarabi couldn’t remember how she got here, the only thing she could think of was the massive headache she had.

She arose from her slumber and planned to go find some Advil when something on her bedside table caught her eye. It was a bottle of Advil, a glass of water and a note written in elegant handwriting.

For that headache, Miss Nichols.

“Thanks, Alfred,” Sarabi grumbled as she gulped down the tablets quickly. She smiled softly at the note knowing from how she was addressed and the handwriting that the British gentleman left it for her. That was Alfred’s best quality, his gentlemanly persona that he carried for anybody he met. ‘How sweet of him’ Sarabi thought to herself before rising from the comfort of her bed.

She dragged her feet towards the walk-in wardrobe to look for an outfit. While she was gone, Bruce had bought even more clothes for her as it seemed. She picked up a new baby pink sports bra, matching shorts and didn’t even bother with shoes. 

After taming her hair as well, she trudged down the large Wayne Manor stairs and into the kitchen. As she neared the kitchen, her nose picked up the most delectable smell. She turned the corner, chasing the smell and ran straight into Alfred’s chest. She let out a surprised yelp as she felt her feet slipping. With effortless grace, Alfred wrapped his arms around her and stopped her fall. He pulled her back up against his chest as Sarabi’s heart raced. Her heart wasn’t pounding just because of the near fall but because of how his light brown eyes stared into her’s behind his glasses. 

Though it was only a few seconds it felt like an eternity. Sarabi could feel her body relax but also tense simultaneously. She felt good. She felt at peace but her heart still fluttered. Her stomach did a small somersault that she barely picked up on. The things she was feeling confused her. Was she just jittery because of the near fall? Or was it something more? Sarabi shook the thoughts from her head and hoped that Alfred couldn’t sense the change in her demeanour. 

“Miss Nichols, are you alright?” Alfred asked concerned as he slowly let go of her body. Sarabi felt a sort of melancholic cloud drift over her as his arms slipped from hers. This feeling scared Sarabi most of all. 

“Yes, Alfred, thank you. I could smell your cooking and came running,” Sarabi hoped her joke would ease the tension and it worked. Alfred let out a small chuckle before moving to the side so she could walk to the bench. 

“So, should I take it as a compliment that you ran right into me?” Alfred queried as he pulled out one of the bench stools for her. 

“Most definitely,” Sarabi sat down as Alfred started dishing up her bacon and eggs. 

“Ah, Master Wayne, how did you sleep?” Alfred delicately placed Sarabi’s plate on the bench before dishing up another for Bruce who had just walked in. 

“Like shit, I mean crap,” Bruce corrected himself as Alfred stared him down. Bruce took a seat next to Sarabi and devoured his food. 

“Where is Claudia?” Sarabi inquired, looking around for her bestie and partner in crime.

“Miss Flynn awoke very early and went back to her apartment for work as it is a Monday,” Alfred answered, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Oh okay. Wait, how in the hell did I end up in my bed?” Sarabi asked Bruce but from his bugged-out eyes, she knew he had no idea. Bruce had never been a good liar, well, at least to her.

“I have no clue, Sarbi,” Bruce stole a quick glance at Alfred that Sarabi noticed. She looked over at Alfred and his face remained stoic. Sarabi saw a glint in his eyes as his orbs locked with hers.

“Alfred? Did you?” Sarabi questioned as Alfred cleaned up the dishes. Sarabi wondered how Alfred could manage but she guessed it was possible. He was skinny but still well built from his years as an SAS soldier. He was strong but lean.

“Yes, Miss Nichols, I did. I hope you don’t mind. If you do then I apologise,” Alfred sincerely stated and Sarabi smiled.

“No that’s completely fine, thank you. I’m surprised you managed to carry my ass up those stairs,” Sarabi snickered as she stood up with Bruce.

“I am full of surprises, Miss Nichols,” Alfred quipped as he continued washing up. 

Sarabi’s voice caught in her throat so she slowly staggered out of the kitchen. She gulped in air as confusion filled her veins. Sarabi had no idea why these things were happening to her body. She had no idea why Alfred, of all people, was having an effect on her.

Sure, he was handsome in a classic sort of way and definitely would’ve been hot in his prime time. He also had a hypnotic voice. If Alfred talked about Wall Street statistics she’d be invested. Sarabi would not deny that Alfred had a lot going for him. He was attractive, charming, gentlemanly and kind but he was also about 45 years her senior. That in itself is wrong on so many levels but still, her body and heart felt something. Sarabi couldn’t put a finger on what it was but decided it was a mixture of fatigue and the headache that still lightly pounding through her head. 

“Sarbi, you alright?” Bruce placed a strong hand on her small shoulder, noticing her thoughtful but confused face. 

“Yeah, yeah, fine,” Sarabi shook the puzzled look on her face and smiled. Sarabi couldn’t speak to Bruce about this and felt that even Claudia wouldn’t understand. Claudia made jokes about Alfred being grandad hot and so forth but never had a thing for him. Plus, she was much more interested in Bruce and Diana Prince. Claudia was a classic bisexual, having no idea whom she found more attractive. ‘Bruce’s got the abs and money but Diana’s got the face and body of an angel’ she would always rant to Sarabi. One day she preferred Bruce then the next day it was Diana. Claudia had no idea of Bruce’s or Diana’s secret identities as Batman or Wonder Woman but she knew their maskless personas well. So well that she had battles over which one she could sleep with first. Sarabi had tried to tell Claudia that neither would be interested but she still tried.

“Ready to get back to work?” Bruce suggested and Sarabi patted him on the back.

“I’m actually excited to see what shit you got yourself while I was gone,” Sarabi slapped Bruce on the arm as the two made their way to the infamous Bat Cave. 

“What am I working on today?” Sarabi curiously asked as she walked towards her working desk still kept in prime condition. Alfred was a clean freak and clearly kept her desk scrubbed and spotless. 

“Gauntlets that absorb and dissipate energy, my own idea,” Bruce smugly showed off.

“Actually, Miss Prince’s idea. She’s had those gauntlets of her’s before she was born,” Alfred answered as he stepped out of the lift.

“And Wonder Woman’s gauntlets are there to minimise and weaken her powers. Talk about a real superhero with real superpowers,” Sarabi teased as she sat down at her desk.

“Watch your mouth, Sarabi before you lose your job,” Bruce warned with a wag of his finger.

“You know you love me,” Sarabi blew a kiss in Bruce’s direction as he stalked off to train or do paperwork, it was either of the two.

“Good one, Miss Nichols. I do remember Diana reminding me of how her gauntlets lessen her powers,” Alfred sat down beside her and pulled off the cloth covering the gauntlet idea.

“Here it is or at least the idea,” Alfred corrected himself as they both stared at the drawings.

“Shall we get to work?” Sarabi turned her head to Alfred and instantly regretted it. His stunning brown eyes caught her attention and sucked out all her sensibility. There was another stomach backflip before she snapped out of it.

“Most definitely, Miss Nichols,” Alfred shuffled closer to her and the two worked tirelessly on the idea Bruce swears he came up with.

<<CHAPTER 1<<  ~ ~ ~  >>CHAPTER 3>>