The thing I was most afraid would happen, happened
I thought the end was coming
But then it didn't
And now I live in permanent limbo
But it is better
It is moving forward, I think
Another thing that I never thought would happen, did
I am fucking 40. How's that even possible?
Michael surprised me with a trip to California
I feel so ungrateful, cause it was a nice trip, I enjoyed it
And I appreciate him trying his best at organizing it and keeping it a surprise
But it wasn't an Edu's 40 birthday trip
It would have been great as just a trip to California
It was mostly things he enjoys
No kayaking, no camping, no hiking, no ziplining, no learning to surf
Just nice hotels and restaurants
And that's the thing, I enjoy those things
And I feel like a fucking spoiled brat for feeling a bit disappointed
But those are not the things I want to do
If I had planned a trip for his birthday, that's what I would have done
I'm sure he would not enjoy it if for his birthday I took him a week camping and hiking
I don't know, I still feel like an unappreciative bitch
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Tagged by @besnail to post 5 fave songs, thank you!! 💖 I'll just go with some severely underrated favorites of mine:
The Beachland Ballroom by IDLES - the studio recording is more polished of course but seeing Joe Talbot screaming his heart out just hits different, ya know.
Vidar by Legacy of Vydar - this one isn't necessarily heart-wrenching or touching in any way really, it just slaps severely. This band dropped a dozen tracks and then fucked off forever, and I'm grateful they were here at all.
JUDAS by The Reverent Marigold - I don't understand how tumblr isn't all over this, I mean toxic yaoi but it's t4t Judas/Jesus? Hello?? I thought you guys loved that. Just check out these insane lyrics: Is counting silver now the only time you think of me? / I, who dared to love unblinking / The bright son of Galilee? / On the mountain he held all creation in his sight / And foresaw the killing kiss we shared at Gethsemane that night / So down through the ages, let my name be ever known / As the one who gave him up to death so he could roll away the stone / You curse me but he loved me, too / And held me in his arms / And I am only Judas Iscariot / He was the son of God
Ring of Fire by Frayle - I just know it in my soul that this cover would have blown the thigh-high boots clean off Johnny Cash.
A Good Thing by Kyle Stibbs - I want a full-length album about all the fucked up shit this family has going on but at the same time, this song is soooo effective with how short it is that it's hard to be disappointed there isn't more.
Tagging @amdusccias @fat-fem-and-asian @cannedmonster @frizox @weird-ecologies @voidsparkk and whoever else wants to share some music!!
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Doberman, they stood proud
The ferns loomed as I lay
The waves slapped like shin to wood
And I laid, I laid, I laid
IDLES - The Beachland Ballroom
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MY TOP 9 ALBUMS OF ALL TIME
tagged by @belladonnafey
couldn't sleep, saw ur tag zoph (<3), and here we are. I'm a big album listener so this was a struggle for me, but I tried to avoid all my short term obsessions and only pick my absolute favs, ones I could listen to no skips at any time (order here isn't a ranking or anything, solely was aesthetic for the collage)
lungs (deluxe) - Florence+the machine
fav songs: I'm not calling you a liar, bird song, kiss with a fist
every spare moment for the entire summer of 2014 my brother and I played Minecraft on a LAN server together and I listened exclusively to a YouTube playlist of this album on repeat and that's definitely part of why I am the way I am
heretic pride - the mountain goats
fav songs: autoclave, lovecraft in brooklyn
funnily enough, not one of the three goats albums I have on vinyl, the others are better for living room activities that my record player is good for (lounging, plant watering, etc) but this one is still my all time fav
wasteland baby - hozier
fav songs: almost (sweet music), wasteland baby
RIP my college roommates in spring 2019 because I listened to only this album for approximately 2.5 months and I think they hated me for it (blasting it out loud, singing badly, etc)
Grace - Jeff buckley
fav songs: lover you should've come over, dream brother
this album is so so cool, I mean even discounting Jeff buckleys angelic voice, the haunting guitar? the early modern English hymn?? lilac wine AND hallelujah??? makes me feel incredible
sound and color - alabama shakes
fav songs: this feeling, shoegaze
this whole album makes me just dance/sway around my apartment feeling like I'm the most soulful and tender person alive
post-war - M. ward
fav songs: Chinese translation, right in the head, rollercoaster, magic trick
makes me so indescribably nostalgic for a life I've never lived. when I heard Chinese translation for the first time I was like hmm I'm different now
collapsed in sunbeams - Arlo parks
fav songs: too good, eugene
got the vinyl from my library on a whim to listen to while me and my roomie did a puzzle and spent the next 2 weeks of the hold just glued to the record player, haven't bought my own copy yet but it's on my wishlist FOR SURE just perfect lazy living room vibes for me
crawler - IDLES
fav songs: the beachland ballroom, meds, car crash
massive thank you @azertykeys for recommending me idles bc this album is a go to for me when I'm coding and/or also just in my feelings
bridge over troubled water - Simon & Garfunkel
fav songs: keep the customer satisfied, the boxer, the only living boy in New York, why don't you write me
my parents listened to quite a bit of Simon and Garfunkel when I was a kid and I didn't realize I knew them until I was like 20 and my friend was playing their greatest hits and I knew every word to every song. she was like why do you know so much Simon and Garfunkel and I was like oh is that who this is? anyway love this album, my vinyl is a treasured posession
only reason mitski isn't on this list is because I can't choose between any of her albums
other honorable mentions:
<COPINGMECHANISM> by willow
hospice by antlers
woman on the internet by Orla gartland
case/lang/veirs by case/lang/veirs
transgender dysphoria blues by against me
fetch the bolt cutters by Fiona apple
she won't make sense by the harmleighs
this was long so absolutely no pressure, but tagging @azertykeys @heart-to-hearts @bromaine-lettuce @junewild @unnonexistence @navigatorwrongway and anyone who sees this and wants to give it a go
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