#Because EYE think it’s funny even if it’s a dated meme format

[2008hondacivic]

[omgfloofy]

State of the Fic: dal segno al coda

For the month of August, I made it my goal to hit 200k words across all three parts of dal segno al coda, the two preview fics, and the "Meanwhile, Elsewhere..." side stories to go alongside it.

I pulled it off yesterday! Yet I somehow feel like there's so much to do still. It's crazy. You'd think with 200k words, that there would be a lot done, but I mapped out all the chapters in a spreadsheet so I can have an 'at a glance' look at my progress, and I still have so much to write.

I'm thankful to having outlined the whole story already, though. So I know where I'm going with everything.

If you had a chance to read it, We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming is the first of two preview stories for the whole fic. This takes place very late in the story, and there are a ton of references to events across all three parts of dal segno al coda in it.

I have a lot of progress done with Date Night, the next of the preview shorts. Where as We Interrupt is a bit intense, I hope that Date Night is just more fun and fluff, since it's stuff that couldn't be put into the main story and fit the narrative. Date Night should also be the first time the formatting and storytelling methods of the main story should be in play, whereas We Interrupt was more like something you'd read in the Meanwhile, Elsewhere... sidestories.

Nevertheless, I have an idea of where I stand on things. I might slow down a little just to get a breather on things before November, because I'd like to throw dal segno al coda back into NaNoWriMo again this year and see where I end up after that 50k push is done.

A sample from part 2 with Noctis and Luna is below the cut. This is, of course, unfinished and may change in the editing process, as always.

One of my favorite things of writing this has been Luna. Looking at stuff with her in Kingsglaive and in Dawn of the Future made me realize that she's a bundle of trouble wrapped in fanciful clothing, and tied off with a bow of prim and proper behavior. It's a LOT of fun to play with in some scenes, and what's even more delightful, is that Noctis was absolutely not been prepared to come face-first with some of these moments.

I also can't unsee the "Barbie Mugshot" meme now with Noctis and Luna because of this scene.

I'll let you all try and figure out why they were arrested in the first place and where they are for it, though. :D

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Noctis knew they were being held long enough for their identities to be figured out. He settled down on the bench and set his head in his hands. They were important enough that if anyone figured out who they were - which was possible with a little bit of work - everything about this plan would fall apart.

"Are you okay, Noctis?" Luna's voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he looked up without any correction to his terrible, slouched posture.

Noctis lied, "Yeah. I'm fine." Whether she believed it or not, Luna simply set a hand on his back. He found that the gesture was surprisingly soothing, somehow.

Eventually, the silence between the two was broken as Luna couldn't contain her laughter. "I... have never had a mugshot taken before."

This got Noctis to sit up suddenly and he looked at her with his head tilted. "...you wanted to get a mugshot taken?"

"No, not really." Luna leaned back against the wall. She was seated next to Noctis on the bench. "It was just kind of..." A pause. "Neat?" She gave him a faint smile.

"Neat." Noctis repeated. He wasn't quite sure how to take this.

She rolled her eyes a touch and shrugged. "It is not every day that someone like us is arrested." A pause. "Like a normal person." Luna somehow sounded excited at this.

"Normal people don't get arrested," Noct complained. He might have even sounded like he was whining. Somehow, something in either his response or tone was funny enough to get another laugh from Luna. All he could do was give her a side-eye for it.

Clearly, she didn't care. "They certainly do," As Luna stood up, she patted Noct's head lightly before she walked to the bars. She clamped her hands onto them and tried to peek around the corner from them.

"A few years ago," Noctis didn't have a chance to say anything before she continued. "I read this book called The Message of the Haunted Bridge where the heroine, Faye, got a little too close to the secret, but the villain actually had a connection to the police. So to keep her out of the way long enough for his dastardly plan to kick off, he had them arrest her."

Luna turned around and leaned against the bars, still grinning. "I feel a little like her at this moment."

Noctis sat up, finally. "Except there is no villain with a dastardly plan. We just got caught somewhere we shouldn't have been."

"Doing," Luna added with a finger point. "Heroic deeds."

She was so confident with her response that Noctis just tilted his head back and bumped it against the wall. He couldn't believe he was hearing this. However, at the same time, he remembered reading her messages in the journal, about how lonely she was and that there was little to do outside of her duties as Oracle while she was in her golden cage.

He may have been a little confused at all of this, but at the same time, he couldn't help but find it adorable.

When Noctis mentally tuned back in, he realized that Luna was now talking about how Faye escaped her cell. With a sigh, he pushed himself up off the bench. She shouldn't keep talking like this when someone could come in at any point and catch them.

In fact, as Noctis walked up to Luna, she had already pulled a hair pin free from her braid. She quickly bent it until it broke into two pieces and then started to reshape one of the halves.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to pick the lock and get us out of here."

Noctis tilted his head. "You're going to what?" He wasn't sure he heard that right.

Luna didn't seem bothered by this at all. "Ravus taught me how when we were little."

"He taught you how to pick a lock." Noctis repeated, incredulously.

"He certainly did." Luna didn't look up as she answered, and instead jammed the half of the pin into the lock.

[rilakiwii]

- long distance relationship with nct

part1; nct dream version

(back to my favorite format!! also, how do I open requests? help lol)

- - - - ——— mark

꒰ messages you all the time!

꒰ I can feel like he would even spam you sometimes-

꒰ hating on time zones 24/7

꒰ because, he wants to talk to you so bad but you are asleep...

꒰ 100% he would stay up late for you, often falling asleep while talking which is super cute

꒰ "soooo... you asleep?"

"it's literally 3am!!!"

"but, you aren't asleep!!!"

"I'm not saying I waited for you but that's exactly what I did..."

꒰ sending little "vlogs" to each other

꒰ thinking about making a couple youtube channel one day

꒰ because let's be honest, we all at least once thought about making one and he thought about it too-

- - - - ——— jaemin

꒰ probably met on Instagram

꒰ he would love all your photos; your main hype man!

꒰ "omggg, so pretty!"

"that's so aesthetic, I can't-"

"are you even real?"

꒰ you would send eachother cute packages for birthdays and other extra occasions

꒰ they would include lots of snacks and plushies

꒰ so you have something to hug! even tho he wishes that you could hug each other... plushies need to be enough for now!

꒰ sending cooking recipes and then cooking the meals on FaceTime (or something else if you, like me, don't have iPhone lol)

꒰ and then eating it together

꒰ even if it didn't end up being that well

꒰ y'all are basically married haha

- - - - ——— renjun

꒰ you would be the one to start a conversation because he's a bit shy

꒰ calling to eachother very often; of course he thinks you look very lovely but your voice- that's what makes him melt

꒰ I can imagine him singing to you

꒰ doing your homework together (if you go to school of course)

꒰ he's a smart boyyy

꒰ playing Animal Crossing together

꒰ because you two are the sweetest bubs

꒰ lots of gifts and messages in the game

꒰ you both like to take 'things slow' but still are super close

- - - - ——— haechan

꒰ you would meet on discord

꒰ y'all would play lots of games together

꒰ probably Minecraft- what can I say, it's a perfect game for dates! (I know what I'm talking about-)

꒰ lots and lots and lots of flowers for you!

꒰ also, many wholesome memes

꒰ he would probably also make some himself!

꒰ lots of heart emoji

꒰ cute lunch dates on discord

꒰ probably matching the food so it would feel even real

- - - - ——— chenle

꒰ chill and funny but also super sweet couple

꒰ just pure goals!

꒰ you probably would share Spotify

꒰ making cute playlists for each other but also trolling with putting meme songs between

꒰ using reaction pics instead of emojis

꒰ you would share a lot of your friends and play games together

꒰ I feel like sometimes he would prank you and pretend that he can't hear you or something like this

꒰ watching Netflix together and suddenly changing into the finest movie critics

꒰ making bets about what'll happen next in the movie/series

- - - - ——— jeno

꒰ going back and forth on twitter

꒰ making lots and lots of plans for the future

꒰ like, meeting eachother and traveling to lots of places

꒰ finding a niche game and trying best to beat eachother at speed running it

꒰ 'I love you but I'm beating your record today'

'Aww... you wish'

꒰ playing made up bingo while watching silly and 'cheap' movies

꒰ 'yes! I got bad green screen clipping!'

꒰ I feel like he would send you his hoodie one day and you would do the same

꒰ so you could feel each others presence at least in a small way like this

- - - - ——— jisung

꒰ DEFINITION OF ADORABLE COUPLE

꒰ 'I miss you' messages even if you guys talked like half an hour ago

꒰ sending selfies with 'xyz check!' ('lunch check!', 'school check!', 'dance training check!')

꒰ sometimes just sitting on FaceTime (or something else) and not even talking

꒰ despite the long distance, you guys like to 'feel' each others presence in this way

꒰ he has you on his wallpaper and you have him too

꒰ or the eye color lockscreen from TikTok (if you don't know - there was a trend to make wallpapers where would be hearts in the color of your so's eyes)

꒰ proud boyfriend, always says great things about you when someone asks about it

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[random-french-girl]

Could you possibly do a goodfoe/shoni brotp? Thank you!!

Hi Anon!

Sorry it took me so long to do this! Since Toni and Shelby are canonically... not just friends, I’m gonna answer this brotp meme with some romantic stuff, obviously. Here you go!

What in-jokes do they have with each other?

There MUST be an inside joke involving lychees. When they all live together post canon and Shelby adds “lychees :P” to their grocery list on the fridge every time it’s Toni’s turn to go grocery shopping... the first time Toni takes a pic and sends it to the group chat with like eye emoji + fire emoji because she wants everyone to know she’s gonna get laid tonight but all that happens is that the other girls reply with various iteration of “oh you’re going to the store? can you pick up some chips” and “dont forget the milk”. Very disappointing. 

Are they the “I’ll pay this time if you pay next time”-type friends, or the “I’ll pay for my food and you’ll pay for yours”-type friends?

Oh they’re gonna fight about who pays Every Single Time, methinks. It’s not serious though, they’re just both stubborn and wanna treat their gf. Unless Toni’s like: “You should pay, actually. Hashtag reparations.”

Who’s more prone to pranking, or otherwise messing with, the other?

Shelby, 100%. Toni loves it.

How do they text/message each other? Proper punctuation and capital letters, egregious overuse of emojis, mostly in meme format…?

Lots of emojis (hearts... hearts everywhere...). Toni definitely sends memes. 

Do they exchange jokey birthday presents, or deeply thought-out and meaningful presents? Or both?

Thoughtful, probably? Although I don’t know if either of them are super gift-oriented. 

They go on a road trip together. Who drives, who picks the music, who’s in charge of snacks?

Shelby drives. Toni picks the music (non negotiable, she’s never giving that much power to Shelby ever again, she still has nightmares about having to listen to christian rock). They both pick snacks thinking of what the other would want most, so they end up with their favorite snacks even if they didn’t buy them themselves :’)

What do they think of each other’s family?

OH BOY. Toni thinks they’re the worst kind of homophobic & racist white christians, full offense :) Shelby’s probably... very protective of Toni when it comes to her mom, but also very supportive if Toni wants to reconnect with her? 

Do they have any nicknames for each other?

I guess “princess”, but only if Toni is angry at her, so I’m not sure that counts. Shelby starts calling her “baby” after like, a year of dating, which makes Toni’s brain explode. Martha thinks it’s both adorable and hilarious. 

Who’d be the first to try and patch things up if they had a fight?

Toni! 

One of their phones goes off in the middle of the night. Who’s calling whom, and why?

Toni would call her without regards for Shelby’s sleep schedule, yes. It’s because she loves their talks, and she misses her :’)

What’s their favourite funny story about something that happened to the two of them?

Hmmm. Toni probably LOVES telling the story of their first kiss. (”She couldn’t resist my raw sex appeal any longer...” “Toni, that’s not how it happened at all.”)

Would they do a joint cosplay? If so, who would they dress up as?

Oh, I can see Shelby convincing Toni to do a couple costume for Halloween, but only if Toni gets to look Really Cool. Cue Fatin taking pictures of them like the mom in Mean Girls. 

Do they have any TV shows that they watch together? Are there any shows they have wildly different opinions on?

Toni tries to get Shelby to watch detective/mystery shows with her, which doesn’t work. Shelby likes teen shows, but Toni’s not a fan of the drama. Eventually, Martha tells them to try Planet Earth and they love it! Very relaxing, ideal for cuddling, and they both love animals. 

Which one is the “fight me” friend and which one is the one who tries to keep the peace and prevent their friend from punching a total stranger?

Toni is the fight me one. Shelby is very good at keeping the peace, but also will not hesitate to cut a bitch if necessary - and she’s much more terrifying than Toni when it comes to it.

One of them comes up with an ill-advised but mostly harmless idea. Does the other one egg them on because they think it’ll be funny, or try and talk them out of it?

Shelby tries to talk Toni out of ill-advised ideas. With only mixed success. 

Who would win if they arm-wrestled?

Shelby, but only because Toni lets her win every time.

Who’s better at what type of video games, and how competitive are they when they play together?

Toni’s better, because she has a bit more experience. They’re actually VERY competitive. It’s insufferable to play with them.

One of them ends up in hospital for something serious but not life-threatening. What does the other bring along when they visit in order to cheer them up?

Shelby brings Toni so much chocolate. And candy. 

How huggy are they?

They both love hugs! Very physically affectionate in general, once they are fully comfortable with each other.

What was the moment when they first realized that they’d become friends?

Hmm. Complicated question in canon, tbh. I think Toni probably realizes there’s more to Shelby than what she thought in episode 7 - that’s when she makes an effort to be nice and comfort Shelby after Leah goes on her lil rant. This might also be the moment for Shelby, actually? It’s their first real conversation after all, the first time they actually connect and share stuff about themselves. 

[floralovebot]

Helia and Tecna friendship headcanons? -lambofzenith

AHHHHHHHHHH okay so

helia is really bad at technology right? pretty much anything that isn't covered in red fountain lessons, he's a complete no-go at. tecna takes it upon herself to try and help him understand basic technology a bit more and it goes so wrong. helia is literally the mom that squints their eyes and holds their phone away from their face while using One pointer finger to type everything. tecna hates it so much.

helia naturally doesn't understand a single thing that comes out of her mouth when she's talking technology but he still supports her nonetheless

helia is surprisingly rational most of the time! he's a firm Push All My Emotions Down And Then One Day I'll Die kind of person so even during really stressful missions, he's good at keeping a level head about things. tecna really appreciates this and it's not rare to see her, helia, and timmy discussing mission-related strategies During The Middle Of A Fight

tecna has a tendency to talk while she works (only noticeable around people she's comfortable with though) but she gets a little self-conscious about it. she knows it's not Bad or anything, but it doesn't seem Right either so she tries to keep quiet most of the time. helia on the other hand is so used to working while it's noisy that he's totally chill with it. they've gotten used to just vibing in the same room, working on their own things, and not actually talking to each other during it. they're comfortable around each other :) helia doesn't mind when she rambles out loud and tecna doesn't mind him pacing around the room every five minutes. symbiotic relationship.

tecna doesn't like talking about what she went through in the omega dimension, even with timmy. however, she does occasionally draw things out when she really needs to vent and can't think of any other way how. she's always been good at sketching due to her background in designing gadgets so this wasn't a weird transition for her. helia told her about this anonymous place for artists to submit their art with absolutely no names attached and after checking to make sure it was legit and she was completely safe, she started to submit one or two a year. she doesn't like to do it often but it does help to sort of "get it out" without actually talking about it.

while helia is notoriously Bad at video games, he does actually like the more "physical reality" ones (think that virtual reality tecmy scene!) mainly because it feels close enough to real life that he doesn't need to rely on just technology to do it. tecna and helia often have very competitive gaming matches but specifically within those kinds of games otherwise, he's really bad at it and she gets annoyed that he can't remember any of the buttons.

speaking of competitions, helia has an inner bet going on of How Much Can I Pretend To Not Know Jackshit About A Specific Technological Topic Before Tecna Notices. what he doesn't know, is that tecna knows he does this and has her own inner bet of How Long Can I Explain This Specific Topic Before Helia Gets Bored And Moves On. so far, the score is mostly even, with helia only winning because timmy isn't aware of this mental battle and will often jump in to explain things too. helia is very smug about this and tecna can't say anything to timmy otherwise she loses the fight that no one actually set firm rules on.

timmy is just really happy that his two best friends are also friends and sometimes he tries to invite helia and flora on their dates. tecna is okay with this only because she thinks it's funny. florelia were also okay with it but started to not be because they realized that their version of a date and tecmy's version of a date was extremely different. they've started to come up with increasingly ridiculous excuses for why they can't go and so far timmy is the only one that hasn't noticed. poor timmy, he genuinely thinks flora's best friend cactus is sick and needs care 😔

when timmy isn't available, helia will call tecna for any technology related issues he's having. on one hand, she likes that he trusts her and can rely on her, on the other hand, she's told him ten separate times not to leave his computer running all the damn time. (tecna: please turn the computer off when you're not using it. this will immensely help solve all of the problems you've been having. helia: okay so i'm gonna leave it on all the time?). he's not trying to be difficult though. he just forgets everything and assumes it should work regardless (he a little stupit).

roxy gets so much gender envy from both of them and it confuses her all the time. they have no idea what a gender envy is though and they're mostly just wondering how they stop giving it to roxy since it seems like it agitates her??? help please???? researching the matter doesn't help and it ends up becoming a meme on winx stan twt because tecna made a very official and serious post asking about the severity of "gender envy" and needing to know how contagious it is. now whenever either of them posts, earth teens just comment gender envy at them. helia still doesn't know what it means.

they don't watch movies/tv together but they will binge-watch the same shows and then talk about them later on. tecna's formatting is still very formal and functional meanwhile helia bounces off multiple points and forgets to make a conclusion. he stresses her out so much.

helia notices when tecna has stayed up too long for too many nights and will occasionally send her a "please sleep" message when he knows timmy is already asleep and can't do it. she doesn't always listen but sometimes she will, but not before sending the same message back because why the fuck is he up at this hour huh dumbass?????

tecna has a pet bird and helia has multiple cats and they absolutely cannot be in the same room together. her bird is constantly trying to fight his cats and while they're usually well behaved, he's genuinely scared they're gonna try to eat it (tecna: stop calling my bird an "it"; helia: stop putting your bird near my cats 😐)

they actually don't like hanging out when one of them is upset. they both have a hard time talking about their emotions (for different reasons obviously) and they always end up feeling like they have to say something when they're together. they just really prefer hanging when they're both in a good mood or at least calm. whenever one of them gets upset, they stop hanging out together until that person feels better.

connected to the last point, you'd think that would mean they don't know a lot about each other, but they surprisingly do! they're both relatively observant people (tecna gets better every year) and they're actually really good at figuring out why the other is upset and what would help. they just don't talk about it.

although, on a similar note, the one time they did have an emotional talk, it was about timmy. tecna was feeling upset again and worrying over whether or not she's "too logical/not emotional enough" and it was the one time where she actually allowed herself to hang out with him while being upset. they had a genuine heart to heart about things and especially about how she's way too hard on herself. they thought it would be awkward since they actively avoided this kind of thing but it wasn't! it went very naturally and helia even teared up a bit. he's very proud of her and the effort she makes every day and since that talk has been much more vocal about it.

when they went to earth in s4, they both spent way too much time learning about Earth Things; tecna about earth media (canon), and helia about animals since that's what flora was talking about. he started calling tecna "chip" after that because chipmunks reminded him of her. she disagrees with this assessment and he refuses to admit he mixed up chipmunks and squirrels. he still calls her chip to this day, and fortunately, it's grown on her. unfortunately, he calls timmy "chip" too, and now it's a hassle to figure out who he's talking to.

helia is surprisingly interested in zenith technology despite not understanding it all! he enjoys walking through the streets of zenith with tecna while she proudly points things out so he can go "ooo aaa" at everything. sometimes she tries to explain how things work and his mind starts playing elevator music automatically. tecna has gotten really good at knowing when helia is just. brain empty no thoughts because she recognizes the Empty look in his eyes. she enjoys catching it live and trying to figure out why he's just. not thinking (usually it's because he either doesn't understand something or got bored) (this happens often when sky starts talking) (sorry sky)

tecna is one of the winx (besides flora of course) that helia trusts the most. not in an emotional or friend way, but in a physical, we're on a mission way. she has good control of her magic and knows how to use it. she's good at thinking of strategies and applying them properly to the situation. and after the omega dimension, he had a newfound respect for her previously unknown to him survival skills. if he were even in severe danger, she would be the first winx he'd call (depending on the situation, she is occasionally ahead of flora).

helia is really bad at sharing details. he tends to go straight to the conclusion but doesn't share how he got there (adhd king 😌) and tecna is the best person to call in when this happens. her logical questioning makes it seem so easy because she has the patience and knowledge to connect the dots and ask the right questions. when anyone else tries its more like (helia: i'm sitting in a pool of blood; person: uhm do you know where it's coming from?; helia: probably the stab wound; someone: did you get stabbed??; helia: oh yeah definitely.)

[actualaster]

Impressions of Episode 2!  Spoilers not just for the episode, but for the game--including parts towards the end of the game.  Screenshot-heavy

Also, NTWEWY Release Date Trailer reference at one point.

First up!  Love the proper intro!  Shame about what happened with the original intro being swapped out, there’s some spots where this version of Twister doesn’t quite fit.  But it fits better than the use of Calling they used as as a last-second sub in the first episode.

(For those who don’t know, one of the band members for the group that did the original song was involved in a criminal scandal so the music was pulled, apparently that’s not uncommon.  I feel more bad for the poor bandmates who’ve had their reputation tarnished by association, y’know?)

so!  first up on visuals!  New Noise!!  Wonder if these will show up in NTWEWY?  They don’t look as much like Noise as most others, missing that tattoo component, but they remind me of the Bats and the Sprogs.  Curious to see if that happens

FORESHADOWING with MR. PRODUCER HIMSELF.

So, we get some interaction between Neku and Shiki right off the bat when the episode starts, which involves Neku’s whole “I don’t like people” thing, and we see Beat and Rhyme join ‘em and they have a discussion.  Get some of the talk of everyone’s values colliding, which IIRC is a W2 sort of convo w/ Asshole Jesus?  Can’t quite remember...  Either way, get some more insight into the characters.

RHYME IS TOO CUTE HERE THIS IS SO PRECIOUS

Ahaha...  This sequence hurts.  The framing makes it so clear what they’re getting at with these two being siblings.  Also this entire bit is good, helps establish details about the characters both overtly through conversation and subtly, like the framing of this shot.

This part also hurts, Shiki getting so excited she forgets, just for a moment, what’s going on.

Honestly the entire sequence with the Prince is funny, and helps give some good insight into the characters.

Also. Same, Neku, Same.  That’s exactly my face when people start losing their minds over some RL celeb that’s apparently sexy or something lol.  But also starts to work in the importance of fashion and trends in this sequence.

The description is different but ultimatley the idea seems roughly the same for Imprinting--though Shiki knows what it is rather than Rhyme explaining memes.

(shame we couldn’t get “what’s a meme?” animated lol, but that’s probably just a funny thing in the ENG fandom and it IS based of the JP original ver)

Interesting way they handled Eri here, with her wearing a different outfit.

Dude talking to Makoto’s a Reaper, I’m betting--since he’s lacking that sort of washed out look the RG folks have.  Specifically planted here to give the Players the idea for what their mission is, if they’re paying attention to their surroundings and/or in the right area at the start of the day.

Nao and Sota make another appearance after their Ep 1 cameo!  Good way to introduce them before W2!

[knee-jerk reaction of screeching because THE FUCKING MOST ANNOYING FUCKING PINS EVER]

Also the fact that the dude in Red who was talking to Makoto says his boss is pressuring him to spread them around makes me pretty confident, aside from the “lacking the washed out RG look” that he’s a Reaper.

This was very interesting--the Support Reaper let them through because Shiki was holding a Keypin.  Setting the precedent for “this pin caused a wall to be cleared for us” but at the same time...  Not opening the wall itself.  And I wonder why the Reaper didn’t seem to care that a Player was holding onto a Keypin?  I mean, the Reaper addressed it with “take care of that pin”, so I suppose they’ve acknowledged it but still feels odd.  Then again, might be a case of “Player with a Keypin?  Higher ups didn’t say anything about that.  Welp, not my problem then.” and just not wanting to deal with it lol

also look at the Support Reaper (guy in red w/ the facemask)’s outfit.  Compare it to what “Neku” in the end of the latest (as of this posting) NTWEWY trailer was wearing--it’s pretty much identical except “Neku” is wearing black instead of Read (Harrier Reapers wear Black), is this “Neku” in NTWEWY a Reaper now?  Or trying to blend in and appear similar to a Reaper for some reason?  Or is it just coincidence?

see how similar they look?  (I know it looks purple here but the boxart it’s black so I assume it’s just lighting)

Then again, since the art seems the same between game and anime (or very similar, the eyes are handled looking the same it seems to me) it could be something else...  (Of course, who even knows if this is the real Neku?)

Anyway...

AHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh shiki, if only you knew that the second player pin is because of the bullet that wasn’t stopped XD

Working trends in somewhat, interesting to see that.  Makes total sense they’d do it this way since the “trends change based on what Players use in battle” is a game mechanic that I can’t see being easily worked into the story in another format, so this swap makes plenty of sense.  Using Imprinting on the Prince to get him to plug the advert makes sense.

LMAO.  SAME NEKU, SAME.  THAT IS SUCH A RELATABLE FACE.

I gotta wonder, though--using the Prince this way instead of the Players making it work, seems like that might not make Makoto get a big head about “his” success which would alter things in...  W2, right?  The ramen shop stuff’s W2.

So.  We have a few interesting massive deviations here.

First up, a look at the influence of the Red Skull pin on people.

And second...

A Familiar Looking Noise Symbol, found on the Shibuya River...  Megumi’s Noise Symbol.

Obviously a massive deviation as Players start getting Erased--despite the Mission being cleared.  Neku and Shiki are on the chopping block when...

A familiar bit of hair reveals their savior who’s not about to let Megumi end their little Game early using some underhanded tactics like “Earsing Players after the Mission is cleared”

I’m very not sure how I feel on a personal level about this decision, but on a narrative level I fully get where they were going with this.

It establishes a very powerful Noise, and if they remain true to the game later it’s foreshadowing that Megumi’s involved heavily.  AND it establishes (through subtle implication you’d not necessarily get if this was your first time watching and didn’t catch the hair) that Joshua is a very powerful person.  Before being in the Game.

Shiki comments on the unsualness of it, too!

I do, however, think they did real justice to the Eri and Shiki revelation.  I still wanna know what that “accident” is that killed Shiki, though.

And here we see a person having his ENTIRE WORLD rocked by the revelation that he’s dead.

Also we got a slight flashback to the incident that killed him, too blurry to see much but a little bit of one.  We saw a little of that in Ep 1, too, IIRC.

AND THAT’S IT FOR THE EPISODE

Well.  Except for the title card for Episode 3

WHO’S READY TO HAVE THEIR HEARST SHATTERED LIKE GLASS OVER THAT SCENE?!

[tenmaudaisbitch]

[HQ!!] Little Giant BOYFRIEND Headcanons~! (SFW)

Post time-skip. Ever wondered what it’d be like to date one of the LGs? No? Here you are anyway! _ft. Udai Tenma, Nakashima Takeru, Washijō Tanji, _Hinata Shōyō, Hoshiumi Kōrai!

Udai Tenma

Getting together with Tenma happens slowly because he doesn’t realize he’s even in-love with you. He doesn’t want to be “that guy” who assumes things and just thinks you’re being really nice to him and is content with your company.

BUT, as soon as he realizes these feelings are beyond friendship, he confesses basically the same day because patience is NOT a virtue or a practice he really believes in. He sees it, he wants it, he goes for it. When you say yes, he basically cheers. He’s a dork.

When Tenma’s working (and he’s a very busy man), he doesn’t respond to his phone much but to make up for it he sends you goofy selfies on his food breaks. Try not to send anything back too often because he blushes and can’t concentrate.

Tenma’s not a bragger and doesn’t talk in-depth about his personal life much, but he mentions you a lot in everyday conversation so gets embarrassed when he has to finally introduce you. Please don’t tease him! His friends are pretty chill and treat you like they’ve known you forever because of it, so it’s actually a pretty nice dynamic and they invite you to go out with them often even when Tenma can’t join.

He’s always very interested in your interests, hyping you up and encouraging you. He doesn’t care if it’s just a casual hobby or a potential business venture, he’s just really impressed by everything you do and if you give him something he puts it by his trophies.

Tenma likes making you cards even if there’s no holiday. As an artist and writer, he likes drawing your face or favorite things and is more comfortable talking about his love for you on paper. If you open up his manga in the stores, you’ll notice he’s mentioned you in the forewords. “My lover and I went to a fireworks festival and had a lot of fun. It inspired page 35 where…”

Nakashima Takeru

Getting together with Takeru is more-or-less an accident. He’s an overworked guy in V. LEAGUE Div. 3 with a day job and family responsibilities. He meant to confess to you months ago but it just kind of didn’t happen

SO, one day when you’re over and he’s wrangling his siblings, he refers to you as his significant other in his frustration and nobody bats an eye except you. “Takeru… what was with the partner stuff?” “Oh. Oh crap! Sorry!”

Takeru is very meticulous when it comes to you. Communication King, there’s no part of your schedule he hasn’t memorized and although there’s nothing romantic about being penciled in, he puts forth the effort to make every second together worthwhile. There’s not a single reservation the two of you have never met. He prefers quiet places where he can just look in your eyes and listen to you talk.

When Takeru’s working his phone is completely off. But don’t worry, his fancy watch will tell him when to turn it on so he can meet your scheduled video calls. It’s the highlight of his day to see your face again and he doesn’t care how goofy he looks with that grin plastered wide on his face.

The Nakashimas are basically your second family. They’re pretty nosy about your relationship and most of them follow your social media. Expect care packages in the mail and complaints if you don’t call enough. Sometimes it gets overwhelming but there’s no love quite like the Nakashimas when you come over and they rush to embrace and feed you.

Takeru is a bit oblivious sometimes when it comes to your interests if they’re not on your personal calendar. But when you tell him all the things you’re up to, he takes the information as very vital and researches it so you can have a proper discussion next time. It’s a bit intimidating, but very hilarious if the interest is something very nerdy and specific like ‘rock formations in the Himalayas’ or ‘K-pop fandom demographics and class.’ It’s very easy to tease him by making something up just to see him take it seriously.* He’s a fan of cuddling – he doesn’t care if you’re in public or not, he loves his arms around you and the security it provides him. Takeru will bury his head into you and just inhale. He can go for hours if you’ll let him.

Washijō Tanji

Let’s pretend this man is single… Getting together with Tanji is a very standard, romantic affair. He didn’t upload pictures on his dating profile (he didn’t know how) but his ‘resume’ was very appealing. He likes to watch sunsets, read, and try out expensive restaurants and overall just sounded like an athletic guy who takes his coaching job very seriously. A self-made, albeit serious man.* When you first meet him, you’re a bit intimidated by his scowl and wrinkles but you find out immediately he has a subtle sense of humor and isn’t off-put by your very different lifestyle. If anything, it seems he prefers the change and after the 5th date, he asked you to be exclusive. It’s in the 6th date as an official couple that you find he’s a lot more outspoken than he lets on and he smiles a lot more.

Tanji takes holidays very seriously and always discusses with you (sometimes months in advance) what the two of you should do. He makes reservations you wouldn’t be able to get otherwise because of his connections and pre-planning. Going on the rare date with him is always a glamorous, expensive affair. Your photo album and social media are absolutely wild with the amount of beautiful, professional photos you two have. Otherwise, he enjoys just staying home with you and idea of a date is food prep for the week.

He sends you short messages like “where r u” and “k” so don’t expect much. He expects to see you so doesn’t understand the need to call or message often. But if you send him selfies he always saves them to his camera roll (and then forgets they’re there).

Tanji brings you around work often and all the kids initially fear you by proximity. But give them some time, they all come to see you’re not as scary as Coach and even learn to adore you. He doesn’t act that differently when you’re around but at the very least they can hide behind you. If he can bring you on outings, he will always try to, which the athletes appreciate.

Tanji is more a listener than a talker, which only gets frustrating if you don’t have anything left to say. But ask him any questions you have and he always has an answer. You find out rather quickly that he has quite a history and he’s probably the most fascinating person you know. “What do you mean you’ve been to jail?” “Wait, you met the president?” “You were in a band?”

His affection is in all the subtle things he does to improve your lives together. He’s very considerate and enjoys doing chores for you (even when it’s your turn) or anything as simple as making you breakfast in bed when you had a long night. At first you were a bit wary that he seemed to not care about things like hugging you or saying “I love you,” but realized over time he’s a very affectionate person when your daily life became mysteriously easy.

Hinata Shōyō

Getting together with Shōyō is an adventure to say the least. He’s a hot commodity on a surface level, he has many friends and he’s beautiful and fit and really passionate. You don’t even think he's romantically interested in you until one day when he just tells you he loves your laugh and wants to hear more of it. OH. OKAY? But he shuts down any potential serious relationship, promising that when he’s accomplished his initial goal and you’re still single, he’d like to try. Ugh.

True to his word, Shōyō asks you out like it’s a proposal, taking you out for a romantic dinner almost the day after he’s signed on to MSBY. You complain that you could’ve been taken by then, but Shōyō just smiles and tells you he’s very lucky.

He’s a bit scattered when it comes to making plans with you, so appreciates when you do it for him. Shōyō always brings flowers no matter if it’s a café or amusement park, he just wants to make it obvious why he’s there with you and nothing scares off any potential threats to his date like a man carrying a bouquet. He especially loves water parks and silly events like illusion-based museums.

Shōyō is an awful texter when it comes to staying on topic, but he makes you laugh often, sending you messages and memes and links across every social media platform any time he’s free from practice. He doesn’t remember which conversation he was in, but wow isn’t this funny! Do this quiz with him! What did you get? Oh, sorry, did he not respond to your email? And now he’s liking everything on your Instagram. Shōyō…

You basically adopt Natsu as your little sister and it drives Shōyō up a wall because she always tells you embarrassing stories about him and is far brighter than he takes her for. Sometimes you come over for some home cooking and Shōyō pouts over it. “I’m your boyfriend, you should be coming over to see me!” Some of his friends don’t even know you exist because he doesn’t talk about anything but volleyball, but they find out pretty quickly from his erratic social media posting and obvious bias to your personal posts.

Shōyō has a hard time related to anything besides sports, but makes an effort to shut up and listen to you every now and then (he’s had to practice). He’s far more distracted by how adorable you look talking about your passions than your passions themselves. If you happy to be really into volleyball, prepare to talk about nothing but.* When the two of you are alone, Shōyō loves dancing with you, tickling you, and just physically touching you in any way he can. If you tell him to stop he’ll whine about it, though.

Hoshiumi Kōrai

Getting together with Kōrai happens dramatically and suddenly. You meet by chance and he’s immediately taken to you because you don’t know who he is but still treat him, a stranger, so kindly and seriously. It’s a little overwhelming but he’s such an honest, earnest guy that you can’t help but find him endearing.

After he tells you everything about him (in detail) Kōrai invites you to come watch him play. When you do, he’s so happy and finds you after the game and asks you out right then and there before the embarrassment of what he’s done settles in.

Kōrai sometimes forgets that planning outings is a 2-person venture so has to be told to step back and consider your own schedule sometimes, but he takes it in stride. He’s just excited to spend time with you and as long that happens, doesn’t care about when or where or who plans it. Take him to carnivals and festivals because he’s an expert in precision with rigged machines and loves winning you things.

He doesn’t care much for social media, but sends you very long, ranting text messages about all his thoughts like it’s a diary. It was a little scary at first to receive paragraphs from your boyfriend but now you find it cute that he wants to tell you everything about his entire day. You and Kōrai have lots of late-night and early-morning calls, regardless of if you’re talking or not. He just wants to hear your voice or know you’re there.

Kōrai invites you to meet his family often despite always complaining about it. His parents ask you lots of casual questions and like knowing what you’re up to, although his siblings are far more interested in the more intimate side of their baby brother. Kōrai doesn’t like it, not at all. He’s very protective and it’s fun to see him get riled up over you, even though it’s obvious they’re doing it on purpose. He trusts his friends with you completely, sometimes leaving you with them at outings even when he forgot to even introduce you.

Kōrai doesn’t mean to talk over you but gets very wrapped up in his own head sometimes. If you tell him he’s been doing it, he gets embarrassed and is very attentive to you. He remembers a shocking amount of your conversations and always has follow-up questions. Kōrai is at his happiest when you ask him about volleyball, though.

He has a hard time initiating physical affection, but is always happy to reciprocate and mostly just tells you how much he likes you whenever it comes to mind.

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Alex ze Pirate Mini Review 2: Underappreciated and how Sam should deal with an abuser.

Last time I gave a general overview of how Sam is treated by his “friends”. Now I want to give a more specific example, that will also show how Dobson’s storytelling abilities are not really all that good, particularly when it comes to pacing or building up any sort of conflict.

You see, for the most part Alex ze Pirate is just a collection of stupid artwork (not even concept art, just random artwork Dobson makes of his characters dressed as something random) and one page strips with a stupid punchline, with Sam most of the time being the receiving punching bag.

There have however been a few individual, short stories over time. And when I say short stories, I mean short. As in 15 pages for a very cheap set up, a few jokes and a punchline. Those include stories such as All that Glitters (where everyone except Alex breaks into a fortress to steal something), The Wish Fish (the only halfway okay story of them all because it is just meant to be comedic) and Best Laid Plans. However, near the end of the initial run of AzP, Dobson did a three part story (partly) focused on Sam in that format, which started off with the chapter I want to talk in this post: “Underappreciated”.

As you can see, the chapter starts off following some basic rules of storytelling in comics. Two establishing panels for the location at which the story takes place initially and showing what Sam’s duties are. Nothing really bad yet. The only thing that sticks out being just the fact that a) Sam does not have his own bedroom and has to sleep in a useless outlook and b) he sleeps in his regular clothes. But hey, nothing to get upset about initially, perhaps he just prefers it like this at the moment. But with the next two pages…

The problems start to show. Page three establishing that Atea herself is just a cunt who can’t even have the basic decency of wishing her “friend” a good morning or giving him a thank you for bringing a morning beverage as she has other selfish priorities on her mind. Like wanting to lick the shower water of Alex’s skin.

Also, go fuck yourself Uncle Peggy. As in, get both your arms ripped off, shoved up your butthole with those hooks and then get hanged on those stomps like a chandelier. I wouldn’t even mind the fact here that Peggy left a mess, if the face he makes in the last panel was not obvious of the fact he left the bathroom like this on purpose and that he is rather happy of making Sam’s day extra miserable by the fecal matter he left behind. Combined with any previous strip of the comic showing that Peggy for no reason likes to get the boy in trouble and even wants to see him die, this just shows once more of how much of an asshole he is. If the last panel just showed him with a groogy hangover look, obviously unaware of how much discomfort he brings unintentionally to Sam, that would be one thing. But intentionally making Sam’s day miserable despite the obvious fact the boy is the first one to do anything around here, while making one of the worst drawn “HAHA, I am such a rascal faces” I have ever seen (and I have seen shitty anime en mass) makes me hate the character more than Dobson intented.

And then there is page 5…

And it is in my opinion the saddest page in the entire comic arc, even compared to the “heartbreaking” stuff Dobson wants to pull up in the last third of it. Because though it is meant as a joke, the general execution is too cruel, crossing into “dude, not funny” territory and showing just how little the crew cares for Sam. Talus, Sam’s “best friend” not even aware he is around, everyone stealing Sam’s food with that stupid “Yoink” sound (seriously, I wish the characters would get punched in the vaginas each time they make this sound in any of Dobson’s strips) and then leaving Sam behind with smug faces, ready to do whatever they want to do, while he, likely stinking of feces and not even having showered properly, has also to clean up after those pigs, who can’t even eat in a proper manner ( hey Atea, use a fork instead of holding the bowl) and silently. I mean, they are pretty much pigs when the noises they make are loud enough, they make the font of the writing change randomly into whatever Dobson has on his computer with every sound. Not to forget the mess they leave behind. And they call Sam the Slob?

Anyway, on to the next page…

And who the heck left their Hello Kitty toy in the bathtub? Also, I hate the way Alex’s face is drawn in the lower left corner. Something about the eyes in relation to the shit eating grin just looks off. Less “smug” and gleefully awaiting whatever she plans next and looking more like Dobson when someone tells him his opinion and reasoning for it is bad, but he can’t yell back at them because they are part of a minority and so he has make a “good face” to a bad situation, while internally he is already imagining how to strawman them in some fake news worthy facebook post.

And then we get to page 7. Which features the WORST addition to the “Alex ze Pirate” canon Dobson has ever thought up. An embodiment of what is wrong with Dobson when it comes to inserting internet culture related stuff into his own work. Ladies and gentlemen… the lolcat pirates

Yeah, those Hello Kitty rejects who ironically look still more like a proper cat than Spot in Danny and Spot, are essentially one of the worst jokes Dobson has ever created. Because they are a joke without a punchline. See, all there is to them is that they are sentient cats, that speak in a manner associated with lolcat posting. And that is the “joke”. Their speech pattern being based on a dumb internet meme that was popular at the time Dobson drew this page. It is like if you portray an Asian by making them talk with a shitty racist accent and that supposedly counts already as comedy. It is not funny, because there is nothing really done with it in context of the story. Like no one addresses the weird way they talk. Also, with the font Dobson uses, it is just an eyesore to any reader and the text gets aggravating the more the captain of the cats talks. It shows why lolcat pictures only had very short sentences accompanying the pics, cause reading more than 8 words written in this manner tingles a part of your brain that makes you want to shout “English motherfucker, do you speak it”?

Don’t get me even started on how the joke would get lost to anyone unaware of lolcats and how dated the joke already was back when the page was posted, which is one of many reasons why comic artists should just in general avoid memes in their work, if they hope for it to pass the test of time. Instead let me just point out the fact that though Alex said “All hands prepared for casting off” on the previous page (which is also a very unnatural way to give the order “Everyone get ready! Take off in 10 minutes”) not all hands are on board, seeing how Uncle Peggy is missing on this page (and spoilers) many pages of this afterwards. Weird. I thought he would be onboard the moment Alex mentioned they are going to hijack a ship full of pussy. Lastly, this is Alex being a “badass”? Taking over a ship full of little furballs you can defeat with a laserpointer, a squeaky toy and catnip? Sam, this is not just “almost” embarrassingly easy, this is literally on a level similar to stealing candy from a baby. That is mentally handicapped. And without supervision. In a candy story.

At least it turns out there is genuinely something worth stealing on this ship. Otherwise all Alex would have accomplished on that very day would have been animal abuse for the sake of entertainment. Though now it also gets me thinking: A place called Katsville, the revelation that the captain is supposedly the child of a high ranking military feline within the sea force of an entire species of sentient cats… how exactly does the world of Alex ze Pirate function? Look, I do not want to get into too much detail about this point here yet, because it is a bigger issue with the worldbuilding (or rather lack thereof) of this series in general, but what is the “consistency” when it comes to races and species in this world? See, One Piece for example is overall a very “cartoonish” and fantastic world (more cartoonish than what Dobson creates on average) when you think of the fact there are fish men, giant seacows and seamonsters, sentient furry creatures, islands in the sky, sentient weather phenomenons etc next to humans. And while Oda does not really spend time elaborating in very high detail how his world works, the sheer abundance of those elements and how they were established pretty early on in the story and are revisited constanly, with the cartoonish flavor and humor of One Piece on top of it, makes those oddities feel organic and a part of the world.

Not so much in AzP. Here over 90% of the time any character not related to the crew is some generically drawn human, in a very generically human setting with jokes just not cartoonish enough. So the world of AzP feels more “realistic” and less oddish, making then things like Talus, the lolcat pirates and once a giant sea dragon that looked like Elliot’s rejected cousin

Stand out like a sour thumb that looks like this

But I digress. Lets see what makes Sam, who just seems bored and wants to end his miserable life/drink his sorrows away, throw the cat captain against the wall.

Okay. Sam’s overall reaction makes it clear, the locket is important. So “kudos” for establishing this and in doing so also create within a moment a bit of intrigue for the reader. After all, why does this locket get such a reaction out of Sam, who we know so far as more happy go lucky or deadpan in parts, instead of looking genuinely distraught. Heck, the fact he even tells Alex to shut up when she commands him around should highlight how out of character finding this locket truly makes Sam.

Then there is Alex’s reaction to being told to shut up, which she takes with as much dignity as someone telling Dobson to just stop fawning about underaged lesbians in a toddler show.

Jesus Christ, she faces being told she looks like a guy with more grace than that. I mean, isn’t she used to being told to shut her trap? Cause if I were her parents, I would have told this entitled redheaded whinner a few times over the course of her childhood to shut up.

Scum sucking cabin boy… said by a butt ugly whore who would genuinely suck scum off if it means she can finally get laid instead of being mistaken for a man. By the way, with that angry face she makes in the first panel, I can totally see why others would mistake her for a dude. She just looks unpleasant and not in a funny way like that red panda girl from Aggretsuko. See, when she gets angry, it looks hilarious and cute because of the contrast to how the character looks ordinarily. This is just Alex looking even more unpleasant as usual.

Now, before I continue with the next pages, I like to point out the face Sam makes in the upper panel and Sam’s overall body language in the last one.

It is obvious that Sam is meant to be in a state of mind where he knows for what he is getting yelled at and where he genuinely reacts in a hurt manner. His body shaking, his head tilted down, not saying even a word. You would expect that the next page of this comic would be a follow up. Seeing Sam, who is pent up, lashing out in some way. Either for example by justifying why he said it, getting sad, angry, perhaps even violent in that situation. After all, so far the way this story has been structured, a lot of emphasize was put on the fact that Sam is treated not well and that finding this locket actually has an uncommon effect on him. Heck, even the title of this chapter hints on the idea, that we should get some sort of huge reaction out of Sam now on the next page, as this is supposed to be Sam’s story.

Instead it is just Alex grumbling and grinding her teeth, unable to comprehend that someone finally told her something every reader with more than 20 braincells said when reading this comic series. And this in my opinion is from a structural point, one of the biggest missteps in this story. Obviously, this is supposed to be a comic about Sam, based on title and him being the one character in it with the most emotional aspects so far. And it is also obvious that this is not just meant to be a silly gag comic but supposedly one with emotional weight. So, where is that weight so far, aside from the panels showing Sam being miserable because he gets the short end of the stick by his friends? Sorry to hijack this thing here now with my own ideas, but if I had writen this story, page 12 and 13 would have actually been an immense turning point for me in the dynamic so far. Why I would have let Alex shout at Sam for insubordination, I would have made it more than one panel of Alex calling him scum and also end likely with Sam, who obviously reaches a limit the longer she goes on about it, end punching her in the face, perhaps even knock out. Show truly just how far Sam is pushed emotionally at this moment, keeping it however ambiguous if he hit her because of her words hurting or because of something else, in doing so focusing also the attention to the reader back on the locket.

As an aftermath of this, Alex would (if not knocked out) hit Sam back, much to Atea’s and Talus horror, later implying additionally that Sam left because of being hit by whom he thinks is not just his captain but a “friend” (oh yes spoiler, Sam is gone in the next chapter)   or the next page would be of Alex waking up back in her hideout from having been knocked out. Atea and Talus informing her what happened, her deciding to deal with Sam later on after recovering (who accompanied everyone back on the island temporarily) only for the last page showing Sam deciding that he is leaving the island, ending the chapter on Sam in a small boat slowly drifting away from the island. You know, something to give the chapter the feeling that the “shut up” moment is an emotional turning point in this story and that there might be something bigger going on that resulted in Sam deciding to leave, without having him however go full Meg Griffin as in the Family Guy episode “Seashell Seahorse Party”, chewing Alex and the others out for the way they treat him. Cause honestly, as much as I like for Alex, Atea and Talus to be chewed out and face consequences for their actions, doing so would likely just be (like in that Family guy episode)  a pointless fillerbuster in the bigger picture of things, as no real consequences would come out of it.

Well that and just like the writers of Family Guy, Dobson is just equally loathsome and thinks he can write whatever sick joke he wants and can on his characters, basic decency or consistency in writing be damned.

But back to the comic, where things just “end” as shown here instead of any real emotions boiling up and a cliffhanger that may genuinely beg the question what is going to happen next to anyone involved in this thing.

 Cause really, by the time it is night and Sam says it is time to go, you are not surprised he wants to go, even if he did not have a genuine emotional outburst within this chapter. After all, who wants to stay with “friends” like this, with Talus and Atea not even trying to cheer him up and instead ignoring his obvious need for comfort in this uncomfortable way, as if they are a bunch of racists trying to look away as someone beats a black person in front of them into a pulp. The only question you may ask yourself by the time the last page is hit, is who that generic looking girl is, whose picture has been photoshopped into the locket.

 Something we may not find out by the time the next chapter and part of this review hits, but will get to eventually. Until then guys, in order to end on something happier, funnier and just genuinely more pleasant than what this story presented to us so far, have something silly and Super Sentai related here for the sake of childish entertainment.

[the-sixth-first-clarinet]

Band ships (Flute Edition)

I may or may not do this for other instruments as well (but I’m planning to)

Flute x Flute:

Both are extremely quiet, one in a shy way one in a mild threatening way

A couple that mostly keeps to themselves, but when they do interact they seem very sweet and docile (most of the time, will screech high notes at you if threatened)

Pass notes in band class, Band Director turns a blind eye since both are mostly well behaved and decent players as well

Flute x Piccolo:

Will play beautiful duets in class whenever there’s a break

Probably the top two flutists, Piccolo being first chair and Flute not being far behind

Piccolo keeps getting told to play piccolo because they’re the only one in the band who can do it and be the least sharp

Power couple, two of the most talented people in the entire band and they are overly humble about it

Compliment wars, since Flute is the better flute player out of the both of them but can’t play Piccolo so Flute insists they’re inferior

Flute x Clarinet:

The clarinet is a total crackhead, which slowly gets flute out of their shell

Flute is the sweetest thing, and is always willing to listen

Clarinet is just constantly touch starved and hugging Flute, which just makes Flute quietly smile

Flute x Trumpet:

Trumpet is a lot more insecure than Flute originally thought

Flute may seem quiet but can and will fight you if you insult Trumpet

Trumpet is happy to have someone to vent to

A very dorky and cute couple despite expectations

Flute x Bassoon:

Flute will occasionally pretend to their friends Bassoon isn’t in band and made up a weird sounding instrument to pretend that they are in band with Flute

Bassoon is a quiet kind of chill but is extremely talented and probably also plays a low reed instrument

Flute is more upbeat and is one of the only people who can make Bassoon smile outside of when they’re messing with Band Director

Make an awesome (if somewhat unconventional) duet, and play together all the time

Flute x Oboe:

Flute looks up Oboe jokes and says them in class constantly, to which Oboe replies with flute jokes they already know and didn’t have to look up

Two of the most out of tune people in the band, especially when they try to tune together and both end up so sharp Band Director cuts themself

Secretly a very cliché couple, content to just be around eachother making jokes or just sitting happily in silence

Flute x Bass Clarinet:

Bass Clarinet is frequently absent, but Flute convinces them to come to band occasionally

Bass Clarinet is considered one of the coolest people in the band, and Flute is happily their background support

Flute is always stressed out on Bass Clarinet’s behalf, Bass Clarinet is very chill but appreciates Flute’s concern

Bass Clarinet never gets enough sleep, which means sleeping with their head on top of Flute’s on the band bus

Flute x French Horn:

French horn is very unique and kind of weird by most people’s standards, but Flute has liked them for years

French Horn grows to like Flute seemingly out of the blue and Flute becomes a lovesick mess

They’re happy dorks together, and most people view them as odd, but they’re fine with that

They have conversations about literally all of the weirdest things. Take any of their conversations out of context and all the other instruments would ask Band Director to put them in a mental hospital, but their conversations are all good natured

Flute x Saxophone:

Flute plays everything in the highest octave while Saxophone blasts the lowest octave they can while playing meme songs (so much Seven Nation Army)

Flute would fight anyone who insulted saxophone, but Saxophone would fight them first and win

Saxophone is more of an egoist than people expect trumpet to be, but is also considerate of others feelings (and Flute appreciates that)

Saxophone breaks Flute out of their shell and people start wondering if Flute was always this much of a crackhead underneath their shy appearance

Flute x Euphonium:

Euphonium is a meme lord and found the need to educate Flute about vine and tiktok

Flute finds tiktok cringe but gets addicted to it anyway because Euphonium’s videos are hilarious and adorable

Euphonium’s weirdness and Flute’s mellowness balance out and everyone thinks they’re adorable

Euphonium is, in fact, adorable until someone calls their instrument a baritone, then Euphonium is slightly angry and adorable

Flute x Baritone:

Baritone is also a meme lord but found educating Flute about meme formats and reddit more pertinent

Flute calls Baritone a Euphonium every once in a while just to annoy them, to which Baritone calls them a Piccolo

They quietly share the same sense of humor, and shoot looks across the band room when Band Director says something they both find funny or can reference a meme to

Flute x Tuba:

Tuba is extremely laid back and defensive at the same time, which makes them come off as awkward

Most people except Flute steer clear of Tuba, but Flute finds their awkwardness cute

Tuba tries so hard to play well and finds it frustrating when Flute can (seemingly effortlessly) play better than them

Flute and Tuba play in a duet where Flute tries to help Tuba with phrasing and articulation even though they know nothing about playing a brass instrument

Flute x Trombone:

Trombone is a total crackhead who is also a major dork

Flute pretends to think they’re above Trombone but in reality admires that they can be themself all the time

Flute constantly asks to try Trombone’s trombone, and does the “slidy thingy” all the time

Trombone asks to try Flute’s flute once and can’t even make one sound, and Flute just laughs so Trombone keeps trying because they love Flute’s laugh

Flute x Percussion:

No one knows how they became a couple

POLAR OPPOSITES

Percussion is a complete idiot, always doing things that might hurt them or others because they didn’t think before they acted

Flute claims Percussion as “their idiot” and Percussion is fine with this as long as they get to keep trying things like chucking mallets at the bass drum from across the band room and trying to time it right to play songs

Band Director is baffled why a good student like Flute would ever date Percussion and makes jokes about it in class all the time

[homespork-review]

Spork Introduction

CHEL: Hi! I go by Chel, they or she pronouns, and I’m the one spearheading this project. I still like at least a fair percentage of Homestuck, but after the ending disappointed me a great deal, I got bitter, and when Hussie pissed me off further by Godwinning himself, I decided to do something about it. I’m no longer angry about it, but I felt I’d benefit from picking out what I hate from what I love so I can focus on the latter without annoyance getting in the way, and also to benefit my own writing efforts.

BRIGHT: Howdy! I’m Bright, and I got into Homestuck fairly recently. After ploughing through the archive and digesting for a while, I realised that I was thoroughly annoyed by how something enjoyable had fallen apart so comprehensively. I am looking forward to the time-honoured practice of ripping the story apart to identify its weak points and shout at them.

FAILURE ARTIST: Hello, I’m Failure Artist (call me FA for short), she/her/herself pronouns, and I’m so old-school they burned the school down. I was introduced to Homestuck via Something Awful’s Webcomic thread. I checked the old mspadventures.com site and the latest update was [S] John: Bite Apple. After watching that bizarre piece of animation, I had to know what the hell happened before then. I found I enjoyed the wit of the comic though I didn’t really care much about the plot. It was only when Act 5 came around that I became a serious fan. I currently have 122 Homestuck works on Archive of Our Own. I have a lot of free time, you see. I am very disappointed in how Homestuck ended. Possibly there was no completely satisfactory way it could end but it still could have been better. I feel like Hussie was a juggler who threw a lot of balls into the air and ignored them as they fell to the ground and some fans think not catching them was a master move since you’d expect he’d try to catch at least one. Sadly, lots of the problems with the ending are embedded deep within the canon.

TIER: Hi hi. I am Tier, a very late newcomer to the wonderful world of Homestuck (2018 reader!) and average fan overall. I love this webcomic to bits, but the low points are deep and I enjoy seeking out what the heck went wrong. Not particularly analytical myself, hope that's cool!

CHEL: Cool by us! We’ve already done plenty of analysing before we started, as you may realise from my Tumblr’s “homestuck ending hate” tag (at @chelonianmobile).

FAILURE ARTIST: But let’s put that aside for a moment and talk about the good stuff. 

Homestuck is incredibly innovative. It is the first true webcomic. It’s not just a print comic posted online. It uses not just still images and words but also animation, music, and interactive games.

Homestuck is the latest adventure in the series MS Paint Adventures. MS Paint Adventures started as a forum adventure. In forum adventures, the OP acts as a sort of Dungeon Master and other forum members give them prompts. Andrew Hussie’s previous works under MS Paint Adventures were Jailbreak (which is little more than Hussie dicking with the prompters in scatological ways), Bard’s Quest (Choose-your-own-adventure), and the actually-completed Problem Sleuth. Problem Sleuth lacks the music and animation and despite the weird physics shenanigans is a simpler story than Homestuck. The characters aren’t even two dimensional.

Homestuck (and the previous MS Paint Adventures minus Bard’s Quest) are set up like adventure games. Adventure games are where the player is a protagonist in a story and are usually focused on puzzle-solving though sometimes there’s combat. In the beginning, these games were purely text. The player would type what they wanted to do and the game would spout back text describing it - assuming the computer parser understood you.

CHEL: Oh god, I HATED that. I wasn’t around for the heyday but I’ve played a couple and

Pale Luna

was barely an exaggeration (horror warning).

FAILURE ARTIST: As graphics improved, adventure games started using them, but the commands were still in text. Only later was the point-and-click interface created and players didn’t have to guess what exact sentence the computer wanted them to type. Homestuck and the other MS Paint Adventures play with that frustration while paying tribute to the genre. The game within the comic uses RPG elements but the comic itself is set up like those good ol’ adventure games. In the beginning, Homestuck was guided by commands from forum members. Even after he closed the suggestion box, he used memes and fanon created by readers.

CHEL: How good an idea this was varies, as we’ll be showing.

We probably don’t need to describe Homestuck much more. Everyone here who hasn’t read it will doubtless have heard of it. Almost everyone with a Tumblr will have seen fanart, almost anyone at a convention will have seen cosplay. Shoutouts have been made to it in professional works such as the cartoon Steven Universe, and the Avengers fandom latched onto “caw caw motherfuckers” as a catchphrase for Hawkeye to the point that it’s now often forgotten it didn’t originate from there.

FAILURE ARTIST: The Homestuck fandom term “sadstuck” for depressing stories/headcanons somehow leaked into other fandoms. Using second-person is actually cool now and not just for awkward reader fics. Astrology will never be the same again.

CHEL: Now, in the interests of fairness, we will say that when Homestuck is good, it’s amazing, and it’s good often. The characters at least start out appealing and are all immediately distinguishable; even with the typing quirks stripped, it’s easy to tell who said what. The magic system is one of the coolest I’ve ever seen, who doesn’t love classpecting themselves and their faves? Hussie also shows a lot of talent for the complex meta and time travel weirdness, and it is fascinating to watch a timeline thread unfurl. And whatever else one says, it’s a fascinating story that’s captivated millions. I think it is deserving of its title as a modern classic.

However, as the years have passed, we have ended up noticing problems, big and small, and they nagged at us until we decided it had to be dissected. Our intention here isn’t to tear apart something we loathe entirely. It’s to take a complex work and pick out what works from what doesn’t. As I said, when Homestuck is good, it’s very very good. But when it’s bad, we get problems of every scale from various offensive comments to dragging pace to characters ignoring problems and solutions right under their noses to an absolute collapse of every theme and statement the comic stood for before.

The comic is ludicrously long; eight thousand pages, or thereabouts, to be specific. Officially one of the longest works of fiction in the English language, in fact. Naturally, we can’t riff that word by word in any timeframe short of decades, and we can’t include every picture, even if that was permitted under copyright law. Instead, as comics have been done here before, we’ll recap most of the time, and include sections of dialogue and pictures when particularly relevant to a point.

Here are the counts we’ll be using, possibly to be added to later if we find we forgot anything. Most of these counts will only start to climb post-Act 5, but we’ll be keeping track of them from the beginning. Most of them could have been fixed with a decent editor, which is sadly a hazard of webcomics, but still frustrating to read.

TIER: Note: we started this endeavor months before the thought of a "technically not but still we'll count it" set of canon epilogues were a twinkle in the eyes of the fandom. That is, by the way, a whole 'nother can of worms that will be dealt with at a later date if that ever comes around. We're judging Homestuck the Webcomic as a whole, so no after the credits stuff is to be noted for whatever reason.

ALL THE LUCK - Vriska Serket constantly gets a pass or gets favored over every other character. This count is added to every time she pulls some shenanigans with which others wouldn’t get away. ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY? - Sometimes it’s not entirely clear whether a thing is supposed to be taken seriously or not. We don’t require hand-holding through every joke, but when, for example, we’re supposed to take one instance of violence seriously while a similar case is supposed to be funny, this count goes up. CALL CPA PLEASE - Instances of creepy sexual behaviour (and perhaps particularly gratuitous acts of violence) from the thirteen-year-old cast. Now, mileage may vary on this one. We won’t pretend that thirteen-year-olds are perfect pure angels, especially thirteen-year-olds growing up in what is openly supposed to be a nightmarish dystopia. However, when full pages focus on said behaviour, there comes a point of it being very uncomfortable to read. Clarification: does not refer to cases where the adults do something heinous, this is strictly when the kids do. CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS - When an offensive joke or comment is made, particularly when not justified by the personality of the character involved, or presented in the narration as being okay. GET ON WITH IT! - When the pace drags. ‘Nuff said. Hazard of the format, but it makes archive bingeing very annoying. GORE GALORE - For unnecessary and/or excessive torture porn which is treated less seriously because it features troll characters, and therefore less “realistic” blood colours. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC - When the comic does something mentioned in How Not To Write A Novel, and it isn’t justified by the webcomic format. HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING - Characters repeatedly neglect to do something about or even react to terrible happenings, either because they don’t care even if they should or they forget they have the capacity. Not necessarily anything to do with their magical powers, either - characters ignore personal problems that are right under their noses, too. IN HATE WITH MY CREATION - For reasons that are unclear, Hussie chose to create characters he apparently hated writing, or at least ignored in favour of others. Every time he’s clearly disrespecting one of his own characters, this goes up, whether it’s by nerfing their powers or changing their personalities. RELATIONSHIP GOALS? - Romantic relationships in particular get fumbled quite often. Ship Teasing is used with skill, but that skill tends to be lost when the characters actually hook up. Fumbled friendships and family relations can also come under this heading. SEND THEM TO THE SLAMMER - When characters other than Vriska get away with something morally questionable. Covers everything from sexual harassment to not trying to save people from the apocalypse. SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS - Later on in Homestuck’s run, Hussie tried to make up for the offensive humour and casual -isms counted by Clockwork Problematykks above. How successful he was at this varied. This count goes up whenever an attempt at progressivism is waved in front of the reader but doesn’t stand up under scrutiny. WHAT IS HAPPENING?? - When the already confusing plot kicks it up a notch. Admittedly this is as much a selling point of the comic as it is an issue, but either way, we’re going to keep track. Points will be added to when it gets confusing, and taken away when a previous confusing thing is explained adequately. WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM - What is shown about Alternia repeatedly contradicts what we’re told about how different it is from Earth. For example, trolls still use heteronormative terms even after it’s established they reproduce bisexually, and the demonstration of the class structure doesn’t always add up. This count goes up every time that happens. It also goes up every time something happens which strongly implies Hussie was envisioning the human kids as white, despite his later claims that they were always supposed to be “aracial”, and every time their economic statuses don’t add up either.

[comicteaparty]

September 23rd-September 29th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from September 23rd, 2019 to September 29th, 2019.  The chat focused on Neguri-Senpai by Neguri Senpai.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Neguri-Senpai by Neguri Senpai~! (http://neguri-senpai.blogspot.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until September 29th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. Of all the strips in the comic, which joke/scenario did you find particularly relatable in terms of what it’s like to be at school or crushing on someone? In what ways did it make you reflect on life or how media portrays these situations?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Given the comic features a lot of pop culture references, which of those has been your favorite so far? What about it really made you smile, and what do you think the comic can teach us in terms of how pop culture can be used for comedy?

mariah (rainy day dreams)

1. My favorite scenes have been where Aoi tries to recreate Neguri-senpai in various forms of media. I found the video game one particularly funny X') I really like the contrast of how proud Aoi is of her creation but how off they are from the original. It reminds me of how much I loved all my badly drawn husbando fan art as a kiddo. http://neguri-senpai.blogspot.com/2019/02/neguri-senpai-new-game.html?m=1 2. I think Aoi's eavesdropping and creeping on Sana when it comes to Neguri-senpai is pretty relatable. I definitely have felt a similar anxiety about perceived romantic rivals in the past. I think the strip where it turns out Sana was just talking about her cat is a really good example of this. http://neguri-senpai.blogspot.com/2019/01/neguri-senpai-what-did-you-just-say.html?m=1 As far as reflecting on life and media goes, while I think the feeling captured rings true to life, it also makes me kind of bummed that these two's relationship is just fighting over a guy (who I assume is unattainable since he's a teacher? But then again who knows since it's playing on manga tropes). I feel like that kind of angst is common for the teenage girl experience, but I also wonder if part of that is because it's a trope that's so reinforced by media that it just becomes expected. Anyways, two girls fighting over a guy makes me sad if I think about it too long. This has been my TED talk.

3. I think Sana is my favorite character. Maybe exclusively for her goth socks XD Aoi is also very good. 4. Man, my only experience with JoJo is the one episode I watched and all the Twitter memes so I feel like most of those jokes are probably lost on me TuT I do really love whenever someone yells NANI??? though XD I laughed a little every time reading through. I also don't get a lot of the coding jokes, but the ones I do understand have really landed home

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite composition in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Do you believe that Aoi will ever be able to date Neguri Senpai? If so, how do you imagine that would happen? If not, how do you think the comic will comedically resolve Aoi’s crush on Neguri Senpai?

RebelVampire

1) My favorite strip so far I think is this one http://neguri-senpai.blogspot.com/2019/08/neguri-senpai-alone-on-roof.html where Aoi is suspiciously summoned to the roof but whoops, nope, it's just for a picture. I really like how this strip plays with the Japanese school roof trope cause it makes the comedic payoff that much sweeter when it's not any romantic or delinquent things. 2) A strip I found super relatable about going to school was this one http://neguri-senpai.blogspot.com/2019/07/neguri-senpai-finals.html where all the girls are discussing whether or not they failed a test. I think basically everyone has done that after a test, regardless of confidence, so it's just one of those moments that I think is universally connecting. I do not miss the stress of worrying about passing or failing a test. XD In terms of reflection, it did make me think that of all the school tropes media messes up, this is actually one that is very spot on to what real life is like, which is pretty rare. Yet, makes for good comedy because of this quality of being universally relatable.

3) My favorite character at the moment is probably Aoi. I just like how earnest she is, how crazy day dreamy, and how enthusiastic she is. It's the perfect combo where even her personality flaws really seem endearing, so I want to see her achieve happiness. 4) My favorite so far was this one where Aoi thought of Speedwagon: http://neguri-senpai.blogspot.com/2019/05/neguri-senpai-i-need-man-like-that.html While I don't know a whole lot about Jojo having been banned from watching it, my boyfriend really loves Jojo. So through him there is one fact I do know, and that's Speedwagon is a beloved character. So it really made me smile to see this show up in the comic and be proven true. XD In terms of what the comic teaches about how pop culture can be used for comedy, I think the biggest lesson is that it's a double-edged sword. If the people know what it being referenced, immediately creates that connection that's needed for comedy. But on the flip side, all those references will fall flat if the person doesn't know the references. So it's great to use, but also gonna be hitting some really niche audiences.

5) My fave composition is the last panel from this strip http://neguri-senpai.blogspot.com/2019/03/neguri-senpai-judgement.html WHat can I saw? I'm a big fan of angles and the whole dark overshadow thing to bring that nice oppressive atmosphere. It really sells the joke. 6) Until the end of the comic, I think the only date Aoi will get will be a joke one. Like one of those ones where she tots think she's going on a date but nah, Neguri Senpai just wanted her for some mundane reason. Like running errands for the school. But I do feel overall if and when the comic ends, it'll be on a happy note with Aoi getting with Neguri Senpai. If only cause there is no comedic rival yet after Aoi.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. Of the fourth wall breaks in the comic, which one did you find the most interesting and why? In what ways were this comic’s fourth wall breaks unique compared to other comic’s that do it?

Ash🦀

1. I actually really loved the lovingly recreated video game version of Neguri-San who dies five minutes later, as I found it to be the most relatable. I too take five hundred hours in character creation only to remember I have no hand-eye coordination. Also, I was quite glad when they showed Neguri-San’s younger self, because until that moment I thought he was another student and so I was quite confused. Not the dynamic I personally go for but it cleared up so much of my confusion. 2. When they’re all on the beach comparing bodies and Aoi’s like “but how will I compete with someone built so beautiful?” Man that was a MOOD. Been in a committed relationship almost 9 years though so I guess I figured it out. Also, if that’s foreshadowing Aoi’s eventual fall for Sana, that would be the best. 3. Sana is my favorite, because she plays off Aoi so well and seems like a capable and headstrong young woman. She’s really fun to watch. 4. The speed wagon joke was hilarious and you cannot change my mind. Also, wish I understood a lick of coding. 5. The strip when Aoi and Sana were in the classroom and Aoi was staring menacingly? Honestly? The best use of comedic tension that I saw. 6. I highly doubt it. She’s a student, and while it’s cute of her to have a crush, it would be inappropriate for it to be reciprocated. 7. I really enjoy Sana and Aoi interacting. I find their rivalry the most interesting, because Sana seems the most capable rival. She’s smart, she’s driven, and it’ll probably come to a final showdown with her. Also, her stand actually got me to nose exhale, which doesn’t sound like much, but before noon it is a monumental feat. I’d love to see them more directly interacting rather than talking about each other. and heck, maybe they’ll be the couple in the end. Love a good rivals to something more story. 8. Honestly I’m not too big a fan of wall breaks, but it does give me a chuckle every time they blame the author.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. The comic also features a lot of references to computer science and programming, so which of those has been your favorite? Alternatively, which concepts do you wish you understood more to get the joke?

The Q

9. I think the layout is really funny. This comic wouldn't have worked as well with a "traditional" print-style format. The jokes are well-paced, too, something we don't often think about when we (well, I) read commics! 10. WHAT ARE STICKY KEYS FOR? I know them as the annoying suggestion that pops up everytime I use my shift key too much... In general, I can feel a lot of the programming jokes fly right over my head, which is too bad, but that probably just means that I wasn't ever the intended target audience anyway. And that's okay. Honorable mention: the last panel of this strip http://neguri-senpai.blogspot.com/2019/08/neguri-senpai-animal-friendly.html is adorable!

RebelVampire

7) I think I enjoy seeing Aoi interact with Sana. They just have a really cute but funny comedic rivalry that is enjoyable to see unfold. Even when they aren't directly talking to one another their attitudes towards each other is pretty entertaining in itself, which is always a good sign. 8) I really enjoy the merch plug strip http://neguri-senpai.blogspot.com/2019/06/neguri-senpai-what-big-number.html if only because Aoi's face and reaction to that is hilarious and seeing Neguri Senpai enthusiastic about something just...it's laughs all around. Which while there are certainly comic's that do fourth wall breaks like this for self promo, I find this comic to be a bit unique just cause of its execution of the comedy. It doesn't really toe the line with what it is (which is something I see a lot), so I appreciate the energy of upfront in the face nature about it.

9) I really like all the little programming inserts in the comic. Like a lot fo the jokes surrounding them are so specific that I think for a lot of people they fly under the radar. But I like the accuracy for them. It's like that sort of niche inclusion that doesn't hurt the other comedy but really adds a nice chuckle factor for when you do recognize the joke being made. 10) And speaking of the above, my favorite one was definitely this one: http://neguri-senpai.blogspot.com/2019/03/neguri-senpai-judgement.html I have been on both sides of that situation before, and like the accuracy is on point. You're always going to judge people for their code editor of choice regardless of language involved. But I like that even if you don't specifically understand that part about it, it's still relateable in that one of them is being singled out for a potentially bad choice in a comedic manner. So just all around, A+ for that strip.

snuffysam

Oh man, this comic is a lot of fun. I think this was the joke I laughed the hardest just due to the nonchalant pacing of it - http://neguri-senpai.blogspot.com/2019/01/neguri-senpai-what-did-you-just-say.html My favorite character is probably Neguri. He's seen as this god by all the girls, yet he's awkward and almost a literal blank slate character. That sort of subtle humor is just really funny to me, so he's my pick.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. Of Aoi’s rivals for Neguri Senpai, which one do you find the most interesting, especially in regards to their dynamic with Aoi? What other sorts of rivals are you hoping to see?

snuffysam

I think the comic's biggest strength is, for lack of a better word, how bizarre it is. Like the comic does have recurring themes of course (programming jokes, pop culture references, parodies of the school romance genre), but in terms of each individual strip I have no way of predicting what'll happen next.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. In general, what other sorts of comedic gags are you hoping to see in the comic? Alternatively, where are you hoping the loose story found within the comic goes?

RebelVampire

11) I have to agree with @snuffysam here on strengths. I think the comic is just extremely unique. Like individually you can find aspects in other comics, but all together it makes for a one-of-a-kind experience you cant really predict. And unpredictability is good for this sort of comic since its keeps things interesting. 12) It's definitely gotta be Sana imo. I think even if Neguri wasn't in the picture, they'd be destined rivals who would compete over everything. Yet they're both equally kind of exaggerated in personality in ways I would not peg for the typical sort of girl rivalry you see for school comics like this. In terms of other rivals, I hope Aoi has to deal with like a secret admirer one so that she can't exactly confront that rival. Maybe go the mystery detective route trying to figure out who it is.

13) I'm looking forward to more A+ programming jokes. They have some catching up to do if they want to compete with all the Jojo references. But also as I've complimented them, I just overall enjoy them a lot. 14) I'm actually hoping to see more gags with that one rival (whose name i forget) who is extremely blunt and vulgar about her intentions towards Neguri. Just the concept super entertains me, so I'm really hoping she gets to be in more gags that involve wordplays and stuff.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Neguri-Senpai this week! Please also give a special thank you to Neguri Senpai for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Neguri-Senpai, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://neguri-senpai.blogspot.com/

Neguri Senpai’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/negurisenpai

Neguri Senpai’s Merch Shop: https://streamlabs.com/negurisenpai/merch

Neguri Senpai’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/NeguriSenpai

[wintersqueenmab]

Silly, do all the questions you definitely deleted. All of them.

Well, since you asked so nicely, sure. Under the readmore to save dashboard space.

1. how tall are you?

I’m 5 foot, 9 inches tall, or 175 centimeters for those of you using metric units.

2. what is your body type?

Softer than I’d like, but otherwise pretty standard.

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

I do like the color of my eyes, and I think my hands are pretty nice.

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Partially, yes. However, the top of my head is currently a cotton candy riot, so not that part.

5. are you more outgoing or more shy?

I like to pull off the shy -> outgoing combo for maximum damage.

6. are you more femme or butch?

Being AMAB, I’m pretty sure I’m automatically on the butch side. Not where I’d like to keep it, though.

7. are you tol or smol?

I don’t think 5′9″ is very tall, or very small. The middle it is, then.

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

Definitely vodka aunt.

9. weird habit?

Does eating popcorn seeds count?

10. favorite meme?

I’m a sucker for bass boosting in the middle of otherwise normal videos.

11. do you sing in the shower?

Ironically, that’s one of the only places I don’t sing.

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

A couple times, but never in any seriousness.

13. are/were you a theatre kid?

Not currently, but I definitely was in high school. Would love to go back.

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Nah, son. Shit’s expensive.

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

Yes, but in a good way.

16. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

Sadly not.

17. favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

“Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.”

18. last movie you watched?

Spider-Man: Far from Home.

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

In front, definitely. Doing theater has shown me that I love being in the spotlight.

20. favorite tv show?

Toss up between Steven Universe and A:tLA.

21. meaning behind your url

Comes from an old username I had a long time ago. I still use Rydyr for most things online.

22. reason you joined tumblr

Kingdom Hearts fandom, then almost immediately comboed into Homestuck.

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

Probably samysticeti.

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

Lord of the Rings.

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

Nope.

26. have you had sex?

Sure have.

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

Yes, several times.

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

I once told my dad that my brother had destroyed my writing journal to get out of writing in it for the day. It worked!

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

Getting to know systems and the best way to exploit them is pretty dang neat.

30. describe your best friend.

Always there for me, even when I don’t want them there. But they know better.

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows.

Now, what makes you think you’ve earned that?

32. how do you feel right now?

Slightly irritated at the amount of formatting work I had to do for this (a lot), but otherwise good. Go listen to Starlight Brigade if you haven’t heard it, it’s fantastic.

33. what is your biggest fear?

Not becoming who I want to be.

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Glory, by Bastille.

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

Being more outgoing has, in general, done a ton for me.

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

Yeah. That’s life, though.

37. something you fantasize about.

Financial stability, a harem of cuties, being in a harem of cuties. Lots of unattainable goals.

38. last time you cried and why

A while ago, probably over past relationships.

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

A dumb play my friend made in a League of Legends match.

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Always.

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

Honestly, nobody. Without sounding like an edgelord, there’s a lot I don’t want people to know because they’d just worry.

42. the last time you felt broken?

Last night.

43. are you starting to realize anything

Many, many things.

44. are you more dominant or more submissive

Depends on the context, obviously. I try to be assertive in everyday life, but I think I’m more submissive in the bedroom.

45. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if you treat me with respect.

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

I don’t have any real preference, but I think I’d feel weird if I dated someone significantly younger than myself.

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

That’s not fair; I have too many crushes to single anyone out. One of the pros/cons of being poly.

48. do you have any kinks?

Look, there’s a whole ass list here. Gotta get more specific.

49. first thing you notice in a person?

Probably their voice if I’m actually interacting with them. If I’m seeing them from afar, it’s their hair.

50. how can someone win your heart?

By being sweet to me.

51. been rejected by a crush?

Of course.

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

Tons of times.

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

If they were down, yeah.

54. is trust a big issue for you?

Like, do I have trust issues? Not really. Is it a big thing for me in a relationship? Once we hit a certain point, yeah.

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

A couple of them, yeah. Not nearly enough, though.

56. is confidence cute?

It’s fucking sexy.

57. what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

Good for them! They’re living their best life. Fuck jealousy.

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Probably not. I love being with funny people.

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

At least one of them does. I try not to make it a big deal.

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

I’ve embarrassed myself in front of my partners more times than I care to count.

61. do you want to get married

Not unless the government gets really cool about a lot of things really quickly.

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

Lied to people that trusted me.

63. three things that turn you on.

Confidence, a nice pair of legs, and the ability to take charge.

64. who do you hate?

Nazis.

65. favorite term of endearment?

Stardust.

66. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

Probably some fucking Homestuck characters, I dunno.

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

Both. Both? Both are great.

68. what do you look for in a possible partner?

We gotta like the same stuff. Also want to get freaky in the bedroom the same way.

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

Sixty-nine, eyyyyy. Uh, all of them.

70. are you good at flirting?

Only when I’m unaware I’m doing it.

71. who was the first person you came out to?

My friends in high school.

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

Yes! Several.

73. is your crush wlw?

Some of them are, yeah.

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

Pretty much literally any attractive person. I think about it a lot.

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

I wish you’d know me

As I’ve gotten to know you

See me as I am

76. do you fall in love easily?

Love, no. Infatuation? Almost pathetically so, yeah.

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Boy fucking howdy, yeah.

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yep.

79. are you a forgiving person?

Extremely. I just wanna be friends with everyone.

80. what is your “type?”

Kind people that can slam me against a wall and make me thank them for the privilege.

81. fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

B O T H

82. tall girls or short girls?

I’d love to be with a girl that just fucking dwarfs me in height.

83. hugs or kisses?

I fucking love hugs. And I’ve had strangers tell me I give great hugs, so I wanna share that with others.

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

Fuck, dude, I’d sure love to get twirled.

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

A tummy kiss that transitions into a big fucking tummy raspberry.

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

Neck kisses, hell fucking yeah.

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

Hair, absolutely. Too many people are ticklish.

88. making out or soft kisses?

I don’t understand why I need to choose here. They’re both great in different situations.

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

Waist! Easier to pick people up that way.

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

I’m pretty confident in my ability to be attracted to nearly anyone that’s nice to me.

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

Butterflies, with blushing only when I get embarrassed around them.

92. have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

Yes and yes.

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

Well, being AMAB, this was pretty early. It took me a lot longer to accept being into guys.

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

There was this one time I just nerded out about MtG for like ten minutes, and she was just sitting nearby. When I saw her, I almost died.

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

Rosemary from Homestuck. It’s so good.

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

“Are you sure you can’t just pick one person and stick to them?”

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

Like six hours ago.

98. what is love to you?

Love is caring about another person more than yourself. It’s wanting the best for them at all times. It’s being happy when they’re happy and being sad when they’re sad. It’s seeing the universe in their smile, and glimpsing eternity in how they make you feel.

99. ask me anything.

Well, this sure is awkward. If you read all this, congrats! You know more about me now than my own parents probably do. Have a great night, everyone.

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[kyulkyungs]

baker!heejin

I’ve been reading a lot of bulletpoint AU’s recently, so the format will be really similar. I’m... returning to my old roots!!! (at least for a little bit aljslghdh, it’s better for me to goof off instead of writing full on, poorly transitioning scenarios)

so it starts off with lovely leader lady jeon heejin, she inherited the bakery from her grandparents after showing she had a knack for baking and running the place

the parents were all for it too she’s so good

so she’s like in charge of it all with her parents guiding her every now and then and no one really minds because she’s the sweetest thing and they would totally grovel at her feet and pay her to do so

and any rival stores nearby absolutely adore her too because she is??? so polite and nice?? and where does all this come from????

she visits other bakeries for fun and talks with everyone and asks how they’re doing and everyone knows her name and face

but who doesn’t, right?

she’s actually a regular customer at a couple bakeries nearby and is constantly recommending things to her own customers

but she gets super shy when people compliment her on her work ethic and skills so young

hyunjin started out as a regular customer since she loves bread so much, but eventually started working there after she accidentally broke something and offered to work to pay it off since she had no extra money on her

it turns out you were practically the same as hyunjin in that case

you were a pretty regular customer because your friends absolutely loved the sandwiches you made, but the bread always came from a certain bakery

heejin has seen your face numerous times already and knows your name and talks with you sometimes

but you never... learned hers?

it was kind of weird, thinking you were always around so much and she already knew your name but you dunno hers at all, you only know her face

you’re always just in and out even when she strikes up conversation so she doesn’t seem weird

(she does, there’s no denying it)

but the thing is she always gets a little flustered around you because she thinks you’re really cute and your voice sounds really nice

and she accidentally blurted all of that out so you tripped and knocked over a little flower vase on the top of the counter and it was a really simple vase, but you insisted on paying it off

but hyunjin knew of heejin’s interest in you and brought up her similar situation and how she works there now cause it was a good paying job and a friendly environment

and it’s not actually that bad sounding because you could use a job right after you quit your last cause it was just not working out

so you ask if it’ll work for her and you can give her your number for the schedule cause you really...... have to go.... your friends are over again and want food

so you casually slip her your phone and tell her you’ll text her later at the register

when you leave she swears she explodes a little on the inside and hyunjin is like “you better give me a raise” and heejin is like “sTOP”

but you’re just sitting on the other side of the door freaking out because you had a longer conversation than normal with such a pretty girl and you just gave her your number asfgDFJGNFDSG????

that night you get a text from her and it’s in the most formal format you can imagine

like she’s using the most formal words and proper punctuation and syntax and everything

she seems so professional but in reality she’s just really nervous because she doesn’t... actually.... text a lot of people

she prefers calling over texting but she found that it’s be kind of weird??? especially when she’d just blurt out how nice your voice sounded over the phone too

anyways you’re confused for a second because this seems so much like a robot that without thinking you reply with a

“u okay?”

and you’re waiting for her next reply and it seems like a while until her next text has dropped all sorts of formalities and there are spelling errors every other word

and it’s not because she got nervous and her hands were shaking a little

honestly it was really, really endearing and especially when she used a little emoji and akljsdlgjfg

she apologized for being so weird, she’s never really texted someone before??? except her grandma, but her grandma replies in dog memes

and then this somewhat casual conversation somehow evolves into her talking business but also getting to know you better

when you go over the schedules and when you can start coming in, she realizes that you share some hobbies and interests

it’s like a mini planning date over texting and it’s the most adorable thing

after confirming days and times and what you’ll be doing, the two of you chat a little more and she even sends you a dog meme her grandma sent her a while ago

after a couple weeks or so, you’re used to working around the place and help out with baking and cleaning overall

also.............

those mini texting dates keep happening

heejin will casually ask you how work was after you had gotten home or before bed, telling you to let her know if it’s too much, if you’re not feeling well, want to try out a snack, or if there’s anything else you need

then it morphs into another getting-to-know-this-really-cute-person session and if you were able to see her as she’s texting you, you can see the huge puppy-like smile and flushing cheeks

she gets genuinely excited to text you

she’s even got even more accustomed to texting and uses more emojis more frequently and picked up some internet slang from you

it’s kind of cute when she tries to use it and then asks if she did it right afterwards

but for some reason???

she just doesn’t talk to you face to face

even when the two of you are working in the same area, she refuses to turn your way

maybe it’s just a comfort thing, but it’s still???? so weird????

you’re afraid that you creep her out or you have the wrong number and it’s some random person who either is coincidentally also named heejin or they’re playing along

hyunjin assures you that you’re doing just fine though, she even confirmed the number, and you saw that they actually don’t text as often as you already do with heejin

hyunjin absolutely adores you and is very adamant about you calling her “the all powerful and great one” because she started working there before you

but in other words, hyunjin likes to dote on you sometimes

even if in cases where you’re taller or stronger, she still decides to ease the burden on you and just take the task off your hands

she will casually waltz up to you and mess with you too

she’s a pretty funny and really soft girl, and affectionate too

you were staring at heejin while she was at the counter talking to a customer and hyunjin elbowed you and laughed a little bit

you elbowed her back and quickly got flustered

heejin was watching the entire time and she felt kind of....... sad

that night you expected her to text you again but she just? didn’t.

so you used the same line you did from the beginning

“u okay???”

and she replied almost immediately, as if she were staring at her phone waiting for you to make the move

she asked you if you liked hyunjin

you were confused because ??????? hyunjin????? the girl who eats the treats she just made and sneaks even more into her bag because she knows she can get away with it hyunjin????

she took your unresponsiveness as a yes and immediately shot out this large paragraph of text

it was impressive, but you also saw..... that she was picking up formalities again, the text was so unlike her

it went all about how you were a really good person and hyunjin is really, really special to her

you got what she was implying, but the main thing you noticed:

she was mainly talking about you

it was how great of a person you were and these weren’t just words of admiration, like you could sense some longing in them

eventually she probably realized what she was doing and immediately stopped abruptly in the middle of a paragraph and said that she’d see you tomorrow at work

you bothered her a little more after, but it looks like she hurriedly stuffed the breadsticks in her bag and fled the scene :(

you walk in really early the next day, before hyunjin usually gets there because she gets caught up doing something else before opening up

you catch heejin sorting out the freshly made treats and then smiles at you, but it’s a little empty

“it’s your last day, then you’re free to go.”

“????huh?”

you would have payed off your debt by now is what she means, working for maybe only a month and your debt was payed off for that one vase

she looked bothered that you were leaving but that wasn’t the real reason behind her smile

she refused to meet your eyes again and huffed, turning on her heel

you used an anime move and grabbed her wrist so she wouldn’t run away

not again, not like before

“you okay?”

heejin looked really conflicted and bit her lip a little bit, and though the moment was really serious you couldn’t help but..... stare a little

in like a really long paragraph, she started ranting about you and hyunjin again, but this time it was about how hyunjin would be a very lucky girl and you better take care of her

before you know it she’s confessing that you’re such a great person and it’s easier to just text you even though she’s the type that prefers calls because it’s so much easier to hide her excitement and nervousness behind the spelling errors instead of a loud and shaky voice and that you don’t have to see her extremely bright and kind of embarrassingly happy face when you talk to her or how loud her laugh gets when you respond to another dog meme

and that it’s easier not to blurt out “i like you a lot” instead of “i like how pretty your voice sounds”

her face flushes so red and she hides her face in her hands and mutters that this is why she tries not to talk to you at work because it’s so embarrassing and hard

but hearing her say that and not deny it makes your heart thump really loudly

she’s honestly so adorable???

the little fiddling with her fingers and shifting from foot to foot and tucking her hair behind her ear is the cutest thing and you can’t help but just grab her hands and look her in the eyes

and tell her that you like her a lot too and her voice sounds absolutely beautiful

especially when she sings while she’s kneading dough because that’s really hard and she sounds like an angel having no problem

she turns even redder because she never realized someone was listening, but she’s also so sos o so so o oso so happy you would not believe

she practically springs up and plops a big kiss on your cheek and immediately after she pulls back you hear a really loud “yES!!!”

and hyunjin is standing there doing a little victory dance

“i’ve been waiting for you guys to get with each other! seriously, bow down to the all powerful and great one”

anyways

after the two of you finally get together the texting dates are almost like a ritual at this point

they happen so casually now and it’s just so nice to talk to each other

phone calls are a little more frequent too, but the texting has this special feeling between the two of you now

outings together in person are also a thing

heejin likes to take you to her favorite bakeries and the people who own it or work there are very happy that she found someone who takes care of her and they dote on you and embarrass her so much

somehow you got her grandma’s number and all she does is tell you embarrassing stories of heejin’s childhood or send you the latest dog meme

you swear she makes these up herself

if you don’t continue to work at the bakery, you visit there frequently and heejin always has a special treat baked just for you

cue hyunjin complaining that she doesn’t get special treatment.......

cheek kisses are a big thing!!!!!!! she loves to feel your squishy cheek against her lips!!!!

they’re her method of greetings and goodbyes and it’s so cute because she holds your face so gently and kisses both cheeks and leaves with the biggest toothy smile no her face

holding hands is your thing

her hands always feel so soft and kind of cold for some reason

which gives you an excuse to hold her hands all the time because you’re just “warming them up for her”

sometimes you swing your interlocked hands around when walking together and her heart does a little flip because that’s adorable i love this person so much this is also kind of fun

she sings a little more often if you’re around because she’s literally so happy she could sing and it’s so melodic and amazing and aSFKGNKFN!!!!! her voice??? the sounds of angel’s harps?????

whenever the two of you talk face to face you’re always intently listening to each other because your voices sound so soothing and it’s such a nice sound

you both pick up each other’s speaking quirks, like if you drag out a certain sound or say a certain word a different way

there’s a lot of teasing because of this, but hearing each other laugh is also very, very, very good too :)

[leefelixs]

boyfriend lee minho • stray kids

genre: fluff

pairing: lee minho & you

word count: 2306 words

summary: dating minho and all the quirks/aspects of your relationship

note(s): in this house we love and appreciate minho so much.. we miss you so much please come back soon here is the third part of the boyfriend series! as per usual it’s in bullet point format. <3 for all the lovely minho stans! (p.s. this gif was originally created by @hyyunjinn i just can’t seem to find the original post with tumblr’s gif system)

your younger brother jeongin was the focus of your attention most days, you felt it was right for you to take care of him and protect him as he was younger than you and considerably softer compared to most kids his age in terms of personality

as he grew older he had found a passion for dancing and begged your parents to let him take classes at the studio nearby to which you promised you would take him to and from everyday, and the smile on his face when they finally agreed made you set on contributing to your deal

keeping him happy was all that mattered to you but after the first few weeks you noticed your usual cheery brother had grown weary and much more tired, yet managing to force a smile on his face

“it was great” was always his response to your questions about the day but it was obvious in his eyes that he wasn’t entirely truthful

most days you wait five minutes before his classes should end to leave, but that particular day you had been out already and decided even with the extra twenty minutes to spare you might as well start walking and you could just sit and wait for him to come out

as you walk closer to the studio you can see two figures outside and stop behind a tree as you realize jeongin is one of them, his eyes looking at the ground with tears rolling down his face and his fists clenched in embarrassment

“jeongin, you’re doing your best. don’t listen to them. it just takes you a little more but it’s nothing to worry about...”

a boy slightly older than him is rubbing his shoulder with a concerned expression

jeongin hiccups and listens to the boy as he continues on reassuring him he’s doing good and any skills he needs to brush up on he’ll be there to help him throughout the way no matter how long it takes and it’s nothing to worry about

“thank you minho, you’re the best. i appreciate you so much.” jeongin hugs him and the older boy smiles and hugs him back just as warmly

your heart twitches at the sight because jeongin is genuinely so happy and seems so much more relaxed than before and you never knew there was a burden on his shoulders over his ability

minho was his name? minho...you were thankful to him. he was helping your brother out...and come to think of it on your walks back home jeongin had mentioned him briefly, geeking out about how nice and talented he was

jeongin had forgotten to mention how warm and handsome he was though uhm...how fake

as you see jeongin wipe away his tears you decide it’s best to come out now and pretend as if you didn’t see anything to spare him from an awkward forced conversation

“jeongin! how was class?” both boys turn to look at you and his face lights up instantly as he hugs you

minho watches you both and lingers his eyes a little longer on you and wow jeongin had definitely mentioned having an older sibling but failed to mention they were really attractive jeongin what the heck

“uh...” although you pretend not to notice you can feel jeongin shoot the older boy a look who quickly gives a thumbs up and your brother just smiles at you

“it was great! hey, have i introduced you to minho yet?” he eagerly tugs you closer to the older male and wow he is even more attractive up close

it’s a minho thing to be that lethal you know what i mean

minho gives you a warm smile before holding out his hand to shake yours but wow his hands are really soft and you can tell he uses lotion that’s a nice quality right there you trust him

“jeongin talks a lot about you, it’s nice to finally meet the living legend.” his voice is a lot more quiet and calm than you expected but it sounds really soothing and nice

“nice to meet you too, i could say the same thing. thanks for keeping him company, he can’t shut up about you or hyunjin.” and from there the both of you just talk about the classes and jeongin

and the whole time you fail to realize the slightly mischievous look in jeongin’s eyes because yes his plan is working he has waited years for the both of you to meet and speak to each other

not like he had planned to cry or anything to get minho to meet you, but he had definitely made sure to talk about both of you to the other because you’re both his favorite people and coincidentally single and how cool would it be to have his favorite people like each other

after 20 minutes you realize it’s getting a little dark out and reach for jeongin to come closer

“it was really nice meeting you but i think we have to get going since the street lights are pretty dim and we don’t want to get home in the dark...”

“wait! minho...you should give us a ride home,” and you gently smack jeongin’s hand and he gives a little ow and rubs his arm but he really REALLY needs you guys to be together longer

he can feel it his plan is working you’re both interested it’s so obvious please minho don’t fail him

and yes! minho thinks a little

“if you’re comfortable i can drop you both off, i would feel bad taking up your time and letting you both go alone.” and although you feel guilt you eventually agree once jeongin hops into the back of his small car and buckles in (this kid i swear)

the car ride is short lived but pleasant and once you both get down he’s like wait no

and you’re like huh did i forget something? and he blushes a little because he didn’t think this through he has no reason to keep you from going why is he doing that

“i know we just met but i was wondering if i could have your number,” and jeongin just FIST PUMPS because yes it worked it’s happening and you shyly type your phone number into his phone and put a little heart emoji next to your name and he smiles and does the same thing to your phone

once you both go inside you lock the door and look at jeongin with your arms crossed

“i know what that was you little twerp” and he just looks at you innocently with a big grin and shrugs his shoulders, running in to greet your parents

from that point you both text EVERY single hour you have never replied so fast and neither has he

his roommates make fun of him because he’ll leave his phone in his room and wander around the apartment looking for something to do until he hears the ding from his room and speeds back in

every single day you both get a ride home from minho but eventually he’s taking you both to eat, watch movies, do something else

and around five months of the routine jeongin decides he should probably leave you both to do as you please because these “hang outs” are more like dates and he feels like a little baby third wheeling both of you even if you both try to include him as much as possible

especially because around this time minho has moved out into his own little apartment and jeongin is like yeah okay privacy is definitely due here

around the fifth month of this routine as minho drops you both of and opens the door for you, jeongin huffs and slams the door closed

“when are you gonna start dating for real? it’s so painful watching you two awkwardly wait it out.” and he just goes inside and minho starts sweating

there’s a thick awkward silence and he just shuffles his feet as you take a sudden interest in your nails

“i think he’s right.” minho smiles at you and intertwines his hands with yours

“would you like to be with me?”

jeongin takes a quick snapchat of it and saves it in his memories so you can all look back on the day fondly

minho is genuinely one of the best boyfriends a person could have

his heart is so big and he genuinely cares about everyone he meets

before he does anything or plans anything he always makes sure you like the idea or are comfortable with everything

even if it’s a surprise which kind of ruins the surprise but makes the effort a lot more appreciated because he just wants to respect you and any boundaries you could possibly have

he’s so easy going and vanilla too.. he’s right out of a novel

one day you both go to the mall on a date and get frozen yogurt and while he gives you some a little elderly lady gushes over how cute you both are and how handsome your boyfriend is and he just blushes and thanks her

absolutely loves being in contact with you...whether you’re there with him or note he just has to talk to you whether it be through text or snapchats

also the type of couple to have different conversations on every app you use like on snapchat you’re asking how each other’s days were and on twitter he’s sending you memes and maybe on instagram you’re debating conspiracy theories its great

tags you in really..really old school memes like dad material memes...it’s not even funny but you don’t have the heart to tell him

also minho is so good at taking selfies and has such good fashion taste? he loves getting you to dress up with him and try to subtly match

and he takes pictures everywhere you both go and uploads them on instagram

tries to get you to dance to choreo with him and has a lot of patience with teaching you

your mom is always trying to meet him because jeongin adores him and so do you and she’s like i bet i will too

before he kisses you he looks at your lips and then at you like can i,, y’know...sometimes he’ll ask and it’s really cute

“babe have you seen my glasses?” he’s literally tearing up his room trying to find them and you just look up from his blankets and pause netflix because you’re wearing them

“perhaps...right here?” and he laughs and tries to get them but you roll under the blankets and hide

and he lifts the blankets up and you both start play wrestling and you’re pretty stubborn about keeping them

until he starts tickling you and you scream and kick and laugh

he grabs your hands so you can stop moving and after a while your laughter subsides and you can feel the heat rush to your head because he’s kind of...straddling you...and you’re under him and this a very romantic moment

and he’s like omg...i got this..kiss them...it’ll be great

and he leans in

AND SMASHES HIS FOREHEAD AGAINST YOURS and there’s no kiss because you’re both in pain and he ruined it good job minho you tried

whenever you’re tired or grumpy or just in a bad mood he kisses all over your face and plays with your hair to calm you down

he’s an amazing advice giver...he is so good at sympathizing with people and he really does care

oh he loves all music but on the weekends he usually has some type of oldies playing and you’re trying to read something on your phone and he just saunters into view

“dance with me!” and you’re like uh no that’s not happening

“that’s too bad i guess i’ll have to teach you how.” and he just puts your phone down and tugs you up with him

you’re a little clumsy at first but eventually get the simple two step and sway down and it’s so cute and he’s like an actual prince while you’re both dancing

he looks so happy and looks at you like you’re so precious

when you finally have him meet your parents they realize it’s true...he’s perfect. lee minho is perfect everyone

jeongin is like oh yes i told you so

sometimes minho gets sensitive because he’s critical of himself and doesn’t want to put his burdens on you because he feels like he has to take care of you and shouldn’t ask for anything in return

but every time he says that you just hug him really hard and kiss the tip of his nose gently and tell him that’s not true and a relationship has to work on both sides so he has to be open with you

sometimes it leads to arguments between the both of you and it’s really tense but after some hours pass you both realize your mistakes and apologize to each other and promise to try to understand each other more

one day while you’re watching a movie on his couch minho notices how tired you look and gets really affectionate while you lean into his chest and just curl up to him

and he tilts your head up because he really wants to kiss you but remembers what happened last time

“okay...i’m going in” and he kisses you and his lips taste like his mint chapstick and it’s so nice and gentle

and once he pulls away you burst into laughter

“stop don’t laugh at me” and he’s worried you’re laughing because it was bad or regrettable

“i’m laughing because you said ‘i’m going in’, you’re so cute.” and he just gets all quiet because you’re supposed to be getting showered in affection not him

minho really loves when you compliment and fawn over him because he never is kind to himself and when you do it he truly believes it

every day he is thankful to have met jeongin because not only did he befriend an amazing kid but he got to meet the love of his life