#Because he is not and I loathe people who make him seem like a dumbass

[enjomo-arch]

I love how the novel really nicely references Ace's leadership. It's not only charisma or his heroism that pulls people closer to him but something above it. He very easily manages to catch people following his steps and finding a strange interest in him. Instant fondness or even respect -

[sapphire-weapon]

I can't help but pick apart characters I like and resonate with. Where RE is concerned, it's kinda infamous to offer only little insights and tidbits. That personally leaves me to deepdive into fanbase opinions and thought pieces. Anyway, my question is, do have any favourite headcanons about Leon and his lifestyle/personality? :)

My two cents is that he's very introverted and a little bit awkward and lonely. Idk if that's obvious, or maybe you disagree? Just curious, if you'd like to weigh in with anything extra. :)

The thing about Leon is that I don't think he's introverted by nature; I think his emotional breakdown and subsequent depression and drinking problem sort of forced him into that lifestyle. This is for both versions of Leon, too -- Remake and OG. I think that pre-RE2 he was fairly extroverted (OG moreso than Remake, but still both) and would've rather gone out than stay in.

And while his actual nature hasn't changed, his mental health and lifestyle both have. On some level, he'd still prefer to go out than stay in, and he'd rather be with people rather than be alone, but his job keeps him pretty socially isolated, and the depressive part of his brain doesn't have the energy/doesn't want to be bothered with trying to navigate around it, because he also has a newfound sense of paranoia and self-loathing to fight through, too. So his brain just kind of goes "it's not worth it" now.

I think it's gotten worse as he's gotten older, too. OG RE4 Leon still seemed to want to try to hold onto some part of who he was before Raccoon City -- ID Leon, too. But then we start getting into Damnation and then RE6 and then Vendetta, and he just seems to crawl further and further into whatever post-trauma hole he's dug for himself.

Remake Leon is a slightly different beast in that regard; his character arc seems to have been accelerated a bit compared to OG, and he just went straight to the level of cynicism and self-isolation that his OG counterpart doesn't hit until RE6.

He's definitely lonely, though. There's no denying that. Leon exists in a world so far removed from the average person that he probably doesn't even remember how to have a normal conversation anymore.

Could you imagine post-RE4 Leon trying to just like... date normally...? Leon, who was kidnapped and coerced via the threat of violence against a child into his career -- a man who's been completely estranged from his family since 1998 -- just sitting there listening to some girl talk about how her boss is a dick and she's having problems with her sister or something. He's just like "... yeah that sounds... that's crazy :T" He's the personification of can'trelate.jpeg

And the people who do understand him are so physically far from him (I think Chris and Jill still live in Europe, at least for part of the year, if I'm not mistaken) and have their own lives that it's not like he keeps in touch with them very well.

Most of Leon's life probably blurs together, and he has a horrible concept of time as a result. Like, he'll go several years between actually physically seeing/hanging out with Claire, but every time he sees her, he's like "I just saw you last summer" -- but no, he very much did not.

Very few of his days are different from the last. He wakes up, works out, showers, goes to the office, comes home, has a few drinks and dicks around, then goes to sleep. Every day. And he doesn't really do anything much on the weekends, either. He cleans if he can muster the will to do it (fuck it, if not; it's not like he lives with anyone or ever has guests), and then he drinks and dicks around some more. And then the weekend is over. And the cycle repeats.

And when I say "dicks around" I mean that Leon has watched so many movies at this point in his life that he actually could be fun for conversation if he would just pull his head out of his own ass and realize that even normal people have, like, hobbies and interests and shit.

And while I make fun of him for being a dumbass idiot butt monkey all the time, I do genuinely think he reads a lot -- both fiction and nonfiction. Especially once ebooks really start taking off and becoming a thing.

I like to think that the big secret that he'll never tell anyone is that he's a sucker for a good romance. It's not his preferred go-to genre or anything, but every once in a while, he'll self-indulge and live vicariously through a romance story.

This next headcanon is 100% just me projecting, because this is what I did during and after my own breakdown when I still lived on the east coast -- but when he does want to get out of the house, he waits until late at night (like 11pm or later) and then goes and just. Watches the ocean.

And thinks about throwing himself into it. But never does.

[shadowxamyweek]

So... I run this blog, yeah? This one, a ShadAmy ship blog, in the good year of our lord 2022.

Why?

I like the ship. You say, 'yeah no shit dumbass,' but I really like the ship. It is the ship that formulated a blueprint for my fleet of favorite ships all under one flag. It is my ship of dreams.

And I'm not someone who grew up with Archie, which is where a lot of old-school shippers come from. I knew ABOUT Archie and what I knew scared me. Even post-reboot, I didn't want to touch it. I was firmly entrenched in the games and the games only (to a large degree, I still am. They are the only actual 'canon' in my opinion, no matter the many cool things IDW and Archie may have done.)

I'm also not someone who just wants to see their fave in a cute ship. They're both favorites of mine -I like them both separately just as much as I like them together.

So why the fuck did I love these two characters together so much when they hardly even talk?

This moment.

Because it was always going to be this moment.

I'm about ten years of age playing this game, my mind being totally blown by the plot and the characters, and it all comes to a grinding halt... to talk.

But me liking this scene didn't happen right away.

It happened in stages.

(Trigger warning. Heads up for mild mentions of gaslighting and issues with eating disorders. Shit you not, this is canon to their history.)

Part 1- Why do I like Shadow?

I knew from the start I liked Shadow.

There's something about a character that is not a 'nice person,' but they are, very much, a 'good person.' They are, in their own way, trying very hard to do the right thing.

Shadow was designed as a weapon, first and foremost. That's what G.U.N. wanted them for and that's how Gerald found his funding, even if he was also designing Shadow to be a cure/aid for Maria on the sly. Shadow went through a lot of hell because of that. Yet regardless of his history, he still makes the decision to get up every day and do his best to solve whatever situation is in front of him, bit by bit, striving steady forward to make the world a better place.

Too often, the messy, personal business of having to recognize your faults is minimized for the protagonist and amplified for everyone else that they are with. Especially in recent media (last 10-years ish, in my opinion,) you don't get a lot of protags that might not be likable all the time. You don't have that moment where they realize what they have done, are reeling from guilt and self loathing and shame, and have to make the conscious effort to do better.

But Shadow is.

This is a character who was gaslight (actual genuine memory manipulation with malicious intention I CANNOT make this shit up), fed a lie for purpose, their personality weaponized. Their love turned into an atomic bomb.

Then, they had to unlearn that and become themselves again.

I want more heroes like that. I want heroes that were or could have been villains, and instead of and dying in a last redemptive act (as if it makes up for everything they have done), they live... and they have to keep living. They have to keep learning. They have to be... you know... people.

I know a lot of people debate over whether or not Shadow as actually suppose to stay dead after SA2, and in everything I have read, the evidence seems inconclusive. Either way, I'm glad they brought him back. I'm glad they made him live and learn (pun intended) and choose to be better. Not as a weapon, not as a cure, but as themself.

That makes for a great story and character study. That's always the sort of thing I want to sink my teeth into and stay awake reading and rereading and coming back to it with new eyes.

Furthermore, Shadow... well, they are a person who scares people. The design, the demeanor, the articulation (or lack thereof) in regards to motivation and thought. It doesn't matter if they mean to, it happens.

And they're fine with it.

They don't need to be verbal all the time. They don't need to understand social cues or unspoken rules. They are allowed to go off and stare at nothing and think in the quiet because it's comfortable. This guy was living my fucking dream.

Also, Shadow was also my first introduction to Nonbinary Thoughts that I had ever seen. This person walks in with their highlights and eyeliner and fluffy self with their dope kicks and sweet color pallet and a cool voice and I had all sorts of joy lighting up inside me. This was like glam rock. This was like seeing Mercury or Lennox for the first time, or realizing that sometimes, the chick-parts in theater productions are played by boys and the dude-parts are played by girls. I dunno how else it put it. It's the moment you go, 'ooooh,' before you flip the flimsy table that the binary gender code has placed itself upon.

This fantasy hedgehog bastard and I have a lot in common, and I've leaned on that a couple of times to remind myself I'm not alone because, for the longest time... I didn't know any living people who had gone through what I had. I have since found friends over time with similar situations, and they all mean the world to me, but Shadow for years was the imaginary friend of a lonely kid who scared the other kids.

That means a lot to me.

Part 2- Why do I like Amy?

I use to not like Amy.

(As such, the order of thought for this segment is going to be different. Sorry in advance.)

I hasn't played any other Sonic game before SA2, so my first encounter with her was not the best. I didn't understand why she was here. I didn't understand why she acted the way she did. I didn't like her voice actor, or her dialog lines, or how she was just written as 'the girl'. Every other character got to be cool and do shit and be playable and Amy was just There(tm). Later I played SA1 and realized she was cool but how she was written in every game seemed to just be decided by dice. Yeah, they used the same dice, so the basic characteristics stayed the same, but the way they were portrayed or portioned fluctuated drastically. I never knew what she was going to show up like.

And that's partially on me- I was stuck in a binary jam as a kid. Still, even beyond that, she as a character and I did not gel.

And then I played Sonic Battle.

(tw // eating disorders)

I keep saying I need to replay Battle, if only to get evidence of this. There's a part of me that wants to believe I made it up, just to avoid the implications, but I know I didn't.

In Battle, like in SA1, SA2, and 06, you play through multiple perspectives of a story (always did like that sort of gameplay.) During the story, you get to be both Cream and Amy, and you find something out during this.

Amy has an eating disorder.

This may be a headcanon, and I am biased, but this obsession to the point of illness with her weight and figure has appeared a couple of times including out if gameplay (I know, breaking my own rule about game canon focus). For an older example, there's an issue in the Sonic manga Spin and Dash where Amy falls for one of Eggman's schemes for weight loss since she's worried she's gaining weight. She then comes back emaciated, asking Sonic and Tails if she looks pretty. Most recently, there is official art of Amy punching a punching bag with a picture of ice cream on it while Germal watches, which is a direct reference to that I am about to relay.

In Battle, you go against Amy several times in a form of combat called Boxercising. Canonically, it is stated that Amy got into Boxercising to get stronger and help out more on missions, but then became obsessed when she realized she could lose weight. Though Cream protests all the 'training' saying Amy is too tired due to her lack of eating and constant training, Amy keeps insisting she wants to go another round. You do this a few times, and then, it is revealed that she has been wearing weights this entire time.

I use to wear weights all the time, around my ankles and under long pants so nobody noticed. I did it to try and lose weight. You want to know what happens when you do that? You fuck up your ligaments and tendons. I had to take a second. Then, I went back to the game. It got worse from there.

After the fighting, Amy passes out. When she awakens, after a bit of dialog, she asks then-Emerl how she could loose more weight. The robot proposes a ridiculous training regiment and a diet in which Amy is to only eat salad leaves and some other minimal insane bullshit, and though Cream is horrified, Amy insists she can do it.

And I hated it.

I hated how of course it was Amy. I hated how this was played for laughs. I hated how they'd pick the Girl Character(tm) because eating disorders are coded girlish apparently and once again I'm sitting there hating everything to do with everyone but especially whoever thought that was funny or let that mistake (if it was a mistake) slide or whatever. I was angry.

But it was at that moment I saw Amy in a new light. I had never seen another character go through this, not in the way I did. I decided to go back and give her character a second look.

What I found upon putting aside my own self loathing was a wonderful character. Yes, she, like everyone else, suffered from tone changes between games, but at the core, she was a really wonderful person doing the best she could out of love for everything and everyone.

Yes, she is stubborn and maybe sometimes a bit selfish. Yes, she has tunnel vision and sometimes that causes a problem. I will remind the court that the kid in canon is 12/13 and which one of you was the perfect preteen? I reiterate my point about flawed protagonists. I reiterate my point about multifaceted characters. I reiterate my point that a person is allowed to be a person and that makes them better than a cardboard cuttout that can be projected upon.

She's not a manic pixie dream girl, she's a fucking supernova.

She loves her friends, her found family, her home, her planet, the strangers she meets on the street, everyone. This girl will remind you to take care of yourself right before she throws hands with god. This girl is a badass because she loves fiercely and terribly. No, not in the 'cool, masculine way' that seemed to be the only permissible volatile love I saw in media, but in her way.

It's not a thing that just is. That sort of love comes from wanting to love. Making the conscious decision to love, and act on that love, in the best way a person knows how.

Just like you, or I, or anyone else.

And how deeply, how furiously, how passionately and totally a person can love everything, anything, and in spite of whatever is going on, decide to act on that love with a desire to do good for the sake of doing good.

That means a lot to me.

Part 3: The Ship of Dreams

We come back to this moment, because it was always going to be this moment.

An unstoppable force meets an unmoveable object.

But they are not on opposite sides. In fact, they are very much on the same side. These two love fiercely and terribly. They want to do the right thing. They are willing to sacrifice happiness and safety in order to achieve that.

And once they realize this, they work together to do the right thing out of love.

This post, I think, does a very nice job of elaborating on a facet of that concept.

---

@wizardofthebog

The “This character who is flawed, traumatized and hurting cannot be saved by love. But they can choose recovery because they are loved”-trope makes me just… I think I need to lay down.

@theoneandonlymagiscientist

“saved by love” and “choose recovery because loved” look similar on the surface, perhaps because the end results look similar, but they’re so different really. It’s passive vs. active; a story is about the person who’s making choices, being proactive. If Character A is saved by love, then it’s not them the story is about, it’s about their savior, Character B. If Character A chooses recovery, then they’re the one the story is about. Character B is the side character this time.

One is the narrative of taking what is broken and fixing it. It is not about the ‘broken’ person, it’s about the ‘savior’ who ‘fixes’ them.

One is a tale of healing. It is not about one person ‘fixing’ the other, it’s about the person who makes a conscious decision to not let their pain define them.

In one, the story is about the person who loves the hurt person, and the hurt person’s pain is incidental to the main character’s arc. In the other, the story is about the hurt person themself, and the other person’s love is incidental to their arc.

I hope I’ve said this well enough. My words may not be coming out the right way to express what I’m trying to say. Sometimes they do that.

---

There's also this quote from Guillermo del Toro

---

"The beast doesn’t need to transform to be loved. He doesn’t have to turn into a boring fucking prince to be loved. Or renounce to the essence of who it is. To me love is not transformation, love is acceptance and understanding."

---

And what about these closing lines from Niel Gaiman's observations on love given at a friend's wedding?

---

"- In the darkness you will reach out a hand,

not knowing for certain if someone else is even there.

And your hands will meet,

and then neither of you will ever need to be alone again."

---

I believe in love: the concept, the idea, the goal. I believe that, upon achieving the goal of fostering love, in maintaining it, enabling it to thrive, to be happy and be healthy.

I believe in people and the power they have as individuals, and how that power finds new strength when people work together as a unit, as a team, as friends and confidantes and lovers.

Love to me is being in lock step, hand in hand, walking forward together.

And I just so happen to see it in these two silly, fictional hedgehogs.

[ikkaku-of-heart]

@rubidusmagnet​​ asked: The tension in the bar had finally escalated to the brink. A serrated blade floated dangerously close to the jugular of one asshole that couldn't keep his damn mouth shut and further scraps threatened the rest of the bar staff that looked stupid enough to interfere.

" So you think women become pirates for shits an' giggles huh?"

The tip of the knife followed the movement of the man's adams apple as he swallowed nervously. Kid's dangerous smile dared the man to speak further of the shit he'd been on all night, but it seemed he now lacked the balls to do so. A shame really.

He truly loathed anyone who spoke badly of his crew but including the members of others in the same building? A real dumbass decision to be sure, and one that likely wasn't going to let the bartender continue on tending for the rest of the night let alone his life.

(ummmm have this I guess?)

When Ikkaku had walked into the bar maybe an hour before, she had immediately assumed she’d end up in a fight with the Kid Pirates. It was pretty much the routine between the two Worst Generation crews, though Ikkaku hadn’t really been in the mood for it. She’d been looking forward to getting to relax and have a drink in peace.

Yet surprisingly, before anyone would stir the pot, the female members of Kid’s crew had called her over to join them for a drink, and the men had paid her no mind beyond a nod. Perhaps they figured since it was just her, there was no point in a brawl. She was just fine with that, and Hip, Boogie, and Quincy turned out to be pretty damn cool to chat with.

By her second glass of rum, however, she absolutely understood why they’d invited her to join them. Solidarity. Because there was an idiot behind the bar who was talking shit about female pirates. Saying stuff like how they were weak, just in the game to get attention from men. At first she wondered why the female Kid Pirates weren’t shutting him up, but she quickly realized they simply didn’t think he was worth it. He was a dumb civilian whose opinion meant nothing to them.

They knew their value just as much as she did. Ikkaku could respect that, and he wasn’t the one serving their drinks. Hell, she wondered if he realized they were part of the same crew as the Kid Pirates. Maybe that was why he felt bold enough to comment.

By the end of her third drink, though, the guy was getting even more obnoxious by the minute, and she had just about had enough. Especially when he’d decided to comment about how female pirates were basically glorified prostitutes. But Quincy put a hand on her shoulder to keep her from seated, and she quickly discovered why.

Eustass Kid was apparently just as sick of the bartender’s shit as she was. Ikkaku couldn’t say she disapproved, though. Besides, a guy like that would probably only learn his lesson if it came from another man. Especially one with a violent streak as wide as Kid’s.

While torture wasn’t exactly her favorite thing to watch, Ikkaku could still appreciate watching Kid make a dumbass regret his words, and she’d be foolish to try and stop him anyway. Plus, he was standing up for his crew. It was the right of any captain to get his point across that disrespect for his people would not be tolerated.

“Pity this place doesn’t serve popcorn,” Ikkaku said, watching the bartender wet himself. “Feel like this could be one hell of a show.”

[bisluthq]

I get the vibe that Josh doesn't like himself either tbh and idkw //

I get the vibe that Jack likes himself a lot tbh and idkw…

Jokes aside, he actually seems pretty confident in his looks and apparently his singing voice, but he’s hard on himself when it comes to acting imo. He said he likes to look good and you can tell he knows he looks good in a lot of his posts, other than complaining about his height, he seems pretty comfortable with the way he looks. I do think you can tell he’s uncomfortable with his height by the way he stands though, his posture isn’t the best.

When it comes to acting, he’s said that the reason he’s an actor is because that’s what he was good at and he’s said that he knows when he’s done a good job, but he’s also talked a lot about how uncomfortable he feels in a set. I guess he wants reassurance? Because he’s talked about the reactions he gets on stage and about loving to make people laugh, and I guess he feels uneasy when no one is reacting to his acting on a set? Plus he gets bored.

And then we have the story about him only managing a high pitched sound when Saoirse asked him if he was okay, which makes me think he’s still shy talking to girls (and boys) if he likes them. His vibe was also very different in the Juli Roberts interview, you could tell he was kind of starstruck and seemed a lot more shy than usual.

He seems pretty confident in some areas but pretty insecure in others

Well, again that’s healthy. Some self-loathing and insecurity is human nature. If you get up every morning and love everything about yourself, either you need to be legit incredible or like you’re a fucking tool.

The problem imo is when you’re debilitated by your insecurities (eg my anon who is struggling to make conversation with the boy she likes at work) and/or if they’re dysmorphic in a way that’s actively harmful (eg thinking you’re not qualified for stuff you’re qualified for, thinking you’re fat/ugly in a negative way etc).

But like everyone *should* have insecurities and like a bit of a sense of self-loathing because it’s genuinely a hallmark of intelligence. If you wake up and look at yourself each day and go “fuckkkk yeah I can’t imagine being better than this” you’re most likely a dumbass. Confidence is being like “here are X things I’m legit great at” but like even if you feel strongly about that there’s gonna be stuff you’re like “and here are X things I suck at but that doesn’t define who I am.”

[diamondcitydarlin]

Reasons why S*lki as a plot choice/pairing sucked that have nothing to do with morality issues against self/incest (this is not for people who like the pairing no matter what, this is not meant to shame people who like it. I have no personal problem with people who enjoy it, just the pairing itself and the way it was written and no I don't want to argue about or debate this because these are already my points):

- It was never necessary, to the point that anyone who wasn't already going to be sold on the idea that I've watched the show with or talked about the show with gets extremely confused when it happens. 'Wait...what...? When was this built up...?' Their dynamic around episode 3 seems to be setting up for a fun sibling or friend/frenemy dynamic that could have worked just as well (if not more successfully), so much so that when they start making eyes at each other at the end it feels like it came out of nowhere- and that's because it did. Because it was based on a male fantasy wish fulfillment subplot that was in the first script before any of these characters had anything to do with Marvel or Loki. That anyone other than Michael could find something redeeming in 'mediocre time travel guy who makes 13 year old boy jokes' / 'kickboxing lady with no other personality than gurl boss and pretending she's not attracted to the main character as she must be for the sake of the writer's wish fulfillment' is a miracle in and of itself.

- Ok I lied this is about self/incest but maybe not the way you think; I'm not going to outright say incest pairing = bad. any anyone who likes it is bad. I watched Game of Thrones and I remember the complex dialogues we had about Jamie and Cersei. I'm not inherently against the depiction of an incestuous relationship, I just think, like with Jamie and Cersei and as with any complex plot, the various complexities of entering into a situation like this need to be dealt with in some way. Where S*lki is concerned, nothing is dealt with. Despite the fact that we never really know where she comes from exactly (tho we definitely see her in Asgard as a child), that we have no answer as to who raised her, if Thor was also her adopted sibling, how much of her and Loki is similar (like twins), despite the fact that her last name does seem to be Laufeysdottir which would suggest she and Loki do in fact share DNA and a biological parent even if it's a different version of him, NONE of that is addressed by any character at any point (Mobius just makes it about how weird it is to fuck onesself, which is another more hypothetical conversation). For me, the ambiguity makes it weirder than if they had just been like "yea we're technically some form of siblings but oh well we love each other" because it just feels like the writers/powers that be wanted a m/f romance sO BAD they just avoided the issues this one inherently brings up. Which, to me, feels creepier. It's not helped by fans insisting that there is no relation of any kind when that's pure headcanon, there is no canon material that definitively says one way or other and interviews don't count because the author is dead and most people are going to be watching the show for clarification and not looking up every dumbass interview Michael has ever given.

-Which brings me to the next point: every justification for them sucks and is not supported by anything substantial in canon. 'Loki is a narcissist of course he would fall in love with himself' Multiple canon sources directly refute that Loki is anything other than self-loathing with a healthy dose of 'pretend I'm confident and endlessly narcissistic to gain an upperhand'. Also 'fall in love with yourself a la narcissus' sounds like a really great nasty, unhealthy, toxic story that I would 100% enjoy, but this is I presume meant to be healthy. And true love. Therein lies the problem.

- Sylvie should have been allowed to exist for a substantial amount of time without having a male love interest (that might be her/her twin/her technical relation) thrust at her for the sake of his man pain. That her story is practically tied in with Loki's issues until the very end is an unnecessary loss, particularly when their relationship and meaningfulness to each other could've easily existed without the underscore / promise of love/sex at the end of the rainbow. Female characters have a long history in media of becoming the fix-it glue for male characters' issues. That Sylvie's romance with Loki was written before even really know who she is says a lot about how things haven't changed much.

- No one has ever said bi men who date women aren't valid. No one has never said bi women who date men aren't valid (I am one lol). What we ARE saying that it's a bit sus when het male writers technically label a character as bisexual and THEN choose to immediately sideline them into a m/f relationship with no intention to explore their attraction to other people and characters. The difference is reality vs a conscious choice made by someone that has no interest in actually prioritizing queer representation in a meaningful way, but absolutely wants kudos for giving us scenes of two men talking intensely in close proximity and for having a character vaguely allude to sleeping with other men.

- Sylvie / B-15 is better. You know it is. I know it is. LOL THIS ONE'S SILLY BUT...also for real. Let's be real here lmao.

[bigskydreaming]

Doing some writing today off and on between errands and work, and jumping around various Kings of the Sky installments, specifically Dick, Jason and Cass stuff, so probably gonna post snippets from a bunch of them as I go. 

(Kings of the Sky is an AU that goes canon divergent from the point of Jason calling Dick for advice for dealing with Bruce after the Garzonas case and where things end up going dramatically different from that point on. Including Jason not dying, being part of his own lineup of Titans between Dick and Tim’s, Dick being adopted not long after the Church of Blood incident, Cass being the third Wayne kid to be taken in and adopted and with Tim and Duke being next and then Damian coming along later once they find out about him. This is basically my ‘the family’s alright’ AU with largely ‘Good Dad Bruce’ except for Dick and then Jason yelling some sense into him about the other, respectively, in the first two installments, just FYI).

Anyway, this bit is from a story called “In Their Shadows Grow Trees Of Good and Evil,” set about a year after Cass has been adopted, when she and Jason are both sixteen and Dick’s twenty-one. Also just FYI, because canon has never been specific about what ways Cass is neurodivergent due to the comic-book style ‘rewiring’ of her brain so that she could learn to speak later in life, I tend to go with her being dyslexic and having aphasia. She sticks exclusively to sign language and being a silent presence in her costumed personas, so that there’s no chance of people connecting the dots between Black Bat and Cassandra Wayne, as she mostly speaks verbally in her civilian persona and doesn’t hide her aphasia. The reason there’s not likely to be any obvious signs of aphasia in the snippets of her I post is because I wait until I complete something to choose words at random to replace with aphasia-born mixups, so its more realistic and I’m not gearing her dialogue towards deliberately placed moments. Just in case you were wondering.

In Their Shadows Grow Trees of Good and Evil

“Hey Todd,” sneered an exquisitely obnoxious voice. “Why’s your sister so fucking weird?”

Jason sighed the sigh of a soul a mere century into its eternity of damnation as he rose from the lunch table he’d been studying at and crammed the rest of his books into his backpack. Then he pasted a cheerfully bland smile on his face and turned around, geared for academia warfare (teenage prep school edition).

“Hey Craig,” he said brightly. “Why’d you come out of the womb so ugly your parents had to tie a piece of steak around your neck just to get the family dog to go near you? Mysteries abound.”

The advancing junior slowed a step, momentarily rocked by his truly impressive return volley. The grimace Craig’s already gargoyle-esque features twisted into made his face even more unpleasant to look at than usual, which was quite the feat. Jason would have applauded if just looking at it hadn’t already turned him to stone.

But the bargain basement basilisk kept on towards him rather than turn tail and skulk off to pop his emotional blisters, so Jason sighed a sequel to his first one. Looked like it was one of those days where Craig felt up to powering through. Guess someone had eaten their self-esteem Wheaties that morning. Joy.

“You think you’re pretty hot shit, don’t you, Todd?”

Jason shrugged. “I mean, to be honest I kinda have a one track mind, so right now I’m mostly just thinking about punching you in your mistake.”

“My what?”

“Your face,” Jason elaborated with exaggerated patience.

“Huh?”

“Oh my god, I’m saying your face is a mistake. See, its not as fun when I have to stop and explain it to you. Ugh, you ruin everything.”

He neatly sidestepped the older boy as R2-Dumbass stayed frozen, smoke coming off of his internal CPU while trying to catch up. For a second Jason thought he was home free, but then he remembered the universe fucking hated him so haha, sucks to suck. Also, a small crowd had gathered to witness the verbal jousting match, and nothing invigorated an asshole like Craig more than an audience of like-minded peers. So there was that too.

“Whatever. Laugh it up all you want, you little shit,” the junior rallied. “But just remember, mocking your betters will never change the fact that you were born street trash and you’ll be street trash until the day you die.”

Honestly? Not his best effort. Jason almost felt bad using any of his good material. Seemed like overkill at this point. But he did have a strict Scorched Earth policy to maintain, so.....

“Yeah but my dad could buy out and ruin your dad so that means I still win, right?”

He smirked as the barb landed and Craig’s face set into a sunset vista of strangled purple and furious red. Bam. Direct hit.

“Listen, you - “

“Oh for fuck’s sake, it was rhetorical,” Jason interrupted. “I don’t actually care what you think even a little bit. Nobody does. You don’t matter. Please go be irrelevant elsewhere, you’re fucking dismissed, you loser.”

“Speak for yourself, charity case.” Oh goodie, Craig’s backup singers had finally arrived. Now if only he could remember to care enough to learn their names in the first place. Seriously, who told the extras they could have lines? “All the jokes in the world can’t change who and what you are.”

Jason shrugged and continued nonchalantly up the hill to where his sister was standing with arms crossed, staring down at something on the other side.

“True genius is never appreciated in its own time,” he tossed back over his shoulder. “I’m sure I’ll be immortalized in song eventually.”

The mob of morons deigned to let him go without further incident. Though he suspected that had less to do with his scathing wit and more to do with him being headed towards Cass. She was immaculately presented as always, wearing the Gotham Academy uniform like she was born to it despite hating its uncomfortable stiffness every bit as much as he did. But that was just Cass for you. 

For all that she still struggled at times to engage verbally or speak up in social settings, her mastery of body language remained without peer. She could chameleon-camouflage her way into matching poise and posture with anyone - a skill that had allowed her to walk into school on her very first day with her head held high as though she owned everything in her sight. Exuding so much Queen Bee Intimidation Factor even the other hive queens were afraid to approach her  themselves. Sending forth their drones to try and woo her into an alliance, only to see her remain oh-so-casually above it all, a slightly contemptuous smile adorning her lips.

Basically, she scared the shit out of their classmates without them having anywhere close to a true understanding of why, and Jason was outrageously jealous. Rude. Unfair. Why did his siblings always get all the cool toys when all he had was his rakish charm, scintillating intellect and debonair.....nah, who was he kidding. He was fucking awesome. 

“Sup, sis,” he said, cresting the hill to stand beside Cass. “Just FYI, I just took a popularity bullet for you, which means you owe me your dessert tonight. Its a family rule that’s totally a real thing and definitely not something I just made up right now because Alf is making chocolate soufflé.”

She made no acknowledgment and remained stock still, a Colossus at Rhodes peering down into the shifting shadows of the parking lot below.

He peered down as well, though with absolutely no idea what they were looking at. Solidarity, yo.

“So are we staring fixedly at anything in particular, or should I just pick my own spot and commit?”

His humor was totally wasted on her as always. Instead of laughing and telling him what a lovable goof he was, she just inclined her head in the direction of a blonde girl where she was standing next to the driver’s side door of a Mercedes-Benz, dictating final commandments to her peons before departing. Well, probably. Jason was just guessing, based on his own body language reads, and like, general disdain for literally everyone at this school that wasn’t related to him.

He made a face. An extra special one reserved just for this classmate in particular. “Ugh, Madison Dunleavy? She’s the worst.”

Cass raised a cool eyebrow. “I thought Craig Hendricks was the worst.”

“He is. They’re both the worst. Its a hotly contested position here at Gotham Academy.”

She rolled her eyes and nodded back down at the Queen of Air and Darkness. “So. You know her?”

“Nope,” Jason said. “Come to think of it, I’ve actually never seen her in my life. No idea who that is. Can’t help you, sorry. Shall we go home?”

The Eyebrow of Inquisition speared him with clear intent. Who the fuck needed words when you could pack the Encyclopedia Britannica into a single facial expression?

Jason sighed gustily. 

“I had a slight altercation with her freshman year that led to her declaring her undying enmity for me until the end of time. The word nemesis may or may not have been thrown around once or twice. I can’t recall.”

The Eyebrow of Inquisition lowered nary an inch. Ugh, she wanted more? Why did everyone in his family hate privacy, with the obvious exclusion of himself when snooping through Cass and Dick’s rooms for blackmail material, which was actually intel-gathering and thus another matter entirely.

“Okay so basically what happened was my first week here I overheard her talking shit about me and not even twenty minutes later she was pretending to kiss my ass in homeroom, like probably because of Bruce, y’know? So I just busted out laughing and told her to fuck off and die and she has inexplicably loathed me ever since.”

Avoiding further Eyebrow Inquisition-ing, he made a show of peering around aimlessly. When the silence extended and it was clear Cass was absolutely not going to break first, Jason waved a hand in dismissal and took to peering oh so casually at his fingernails. "I suppose I was less tactful back in those days.”

He chanced a look up, finally, and saw his sister’s eyebrow had somehow managed to mighty morphin power ranger its way into a configuration evoking both judgment and disbelief, with the latter perhaps aimed at the idea he was significantly differing in the tact department these days either.

“I don’t love the implications your face is making right now,” he told her.

She ignored him, because of course she did. 

“Does she know Dick?” She asked instead. Jason shrugged.

“I mean, maybe? She’s probably seen him around at one of those stupid galas we have to go to, and actually I think maybe she has an older brother who was either in Dick’s grade or like, one above or below it? I don’t know.”

Now both eyebrows were doing the dance of disbelief. Okay, so maybe that was poor situational awareness on his part, since it wasn’t like Gotham Academy was a big school with a ton of other kids and also he’d only been in the same class as Madison for like over two whole years, but whatever. There were extingent circumstances.

“Look, she’s a total snob who’s always looked down on me and in return I willfully ignore both her existence and that of everyone and everything even tangentially related to her. Its called equality, Cass.”

She pursed her lips and went back to the peering, because of course in the mind of Cass it made total sense that the Grand Inquisition didn’t need to be followed up by any explanation on her part, what the hell. Like was he supposed to have inferred it?

“What’s this all about anyway?”

“I heard her talking about Dick earlier,” she said without peeling her eyes away from her personal recon mission. “I don’t know what she said though, I just heard her say Grayson, and then I was busy looking at what her body was saying. I know it was about Dick because she shut down when she saw me. And I didn’t like the way she....looked....before that happened. The way she was talking. It was.....”

Jason frowned but held back any follow-up questions while he waited - with total patience because he wasn’t an absolute cad, thank you very much - for his sister to find the word she was hunting for. It was a major source of frustration for her, that whatever neural map her brain followed put body language and spoken language in totally different regions of her brain, separated by a fairly great divide. Meaning she usually had to make a conscious choice to focus on body language or conventional languages - whether verbal or sign. But it tended to be one or the other; she’d yet to master taking in and comprehending both forms of ‘language’ at the same time. And none of them had quite figured out how to convince her that she wasn’t actually missing anything when she chose to focus on one specific form of communication - that she was still observing far more than most people ever would.

“Proprietary,” Cass settled on at last. She nodded her satisfaction with her choice of word, and Jason waited a whole two point five seconds before sticking  his whole foot in his mouth.

“Proprietary?” He asked with a scrunched nose as he weighed that for possible context and implications. “You sure?”

She glared. He winced. It was a whole thing.

“Yeah, I know, sorry, sorry, I heard it the second it was out of my mouth. We don’t actually have to experiment with the legitimacy of if looks could kill.”

Cass rolled her eyes, but eh. That could’ve gone worse.

Jason swiftly redirected attention anyway. Discretion is the better part of valor, after all.

“So. The Queen of Air and Darkness was talking about our big bro, and her mood was.....proprietary, huh?” He recapped while digesting the info like a boss. “Well. Definitely not loving that, I gotta say. Hold please.”

Pulling out his phone and pulling up his most recent texts, he began typing furiously.

“What are you doing?” Cass asked.

“Texting Tom,” he replied, because duh. Hah, now it was his chance to have the answers that should be patently obvious and thus make with the ‘are you kidding me’ when she asked obvious questions she should know the answer to! How do you like them apples, sis?

“Why are you texting your boyfriend right now?”

Jason rolled his eyes, because fair is fair, but never ceased texting for a moment. Time was of the essence here, probably. Well, maybe. Okay probably not. But it’d still been like half an hour since he and Tom had last texted and that’s a very fucking long time in teenage years.

“To be our getaway driver tonight, obviously.”

She stared at him. He didn’t look up, but he could feel it anyway. He was very intuitive like that.

“What?”

Jason heaved another sigh, one keyed to tones of ‘oh my god, do I really have to spell this out,” exasperation. He was just racking up the bonus points here. It was really too bad this wasn’t an actual competition he could actually win and this was all just pettiness taking place wholly in his own head. Lame. 

“Well, clearly we now have to go snoop in Madison’s house aka lair to see if its actually a house or a full on lair. Because she’s either a creeper or like, legit evil, and its important to know which one before we proceed, because obviously we can only bust her for being a weird creeper about our brother as Jason and Cass, whereas if she’s legit evil, that’s gotta go down as Robin and Black Bat. I’ll handle the snooping, you’ll take look-out, but we still need a wheelman and that’s why I’m texting Tom. This is all very mission-oriented, okay. I’m a professional.”

“Right,” she affirmed, while sounding anything but convinced. “Why don’t we just tell Bruce?”

Without looking up or breaking stride, he said: “I’m going to give you til I finish typing this sentence to figure out what was wrong with what you just said. Remember that we are talking about hypothetical danger to our brother, and also Bruce’s idea of a proportionate response to any of his children being in even hypothetical danger. And also our brother’s idea of a proportionate response to Bruce’s idea of a proportionate response. Look, you’re still new so I’m gonna need you to just trust me on this one. Its gonna be a no on telling Bruce without further intel.”

Cass said nothing in response to that, which meant that she was conceding the point and recognized the wisdom of his words. Or maybe that she was just gonna go ahead and do what she wanted anyway and just wasn’t bothering to fight about it, but it was probably that first thing.

“Well you better not just make out with your boyfriend all night,” is what she said at last, and that got his attention reeeeeal quick like.

“Umm. Wow. Okay. So, first off, you’re not the boss of me and who I make out with and when, so jot that down. And second, now I’m definitely going to make out with my boyfriend extra hard, with the exception of when we are actually on our recon mission because as previously established, I am a professional. And also, again, you’re not the boss of me.”

Jason ignored her Eye Roll With Extra Emphasis, and instead just held up his phone to Text With Extra Emphasis, as he read along with what he was typing.

“By the way babe, we have to make out extra hard tonight,” he said, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth while he dragged out his dictation with the kind of focus that usually led to Bruce asking why he couldn’t apply as much intensity to training as he did to pettiness. “Cass has suddenly decided she can dictate terms to me and I need to shut that shit down ASAP, so thank you in advance for your assistance in this matter. Smoochies and other gay stuff to the best boyfriend ever.”

Jason frowned as a response pinged back seconds later. 

TheCatsMeow: ....the things I put up with for the sake of your weird family dynamics.

TheOnlyRobinThatRocks: Yeah, yeah. You’re a saint among were-panthers. Must you mock? Why can’t you just tell me I’m pretty instead?

TheCatsMeow: Sorry. Let me try again. OMG you’re so pretty Jase how did I get so lucky xoxo.

TheOnlyRobinThatRocks: No. Its too late. It feels forced and unbelievable now. You’ve ruined it forever.

TheCatsMeow: Got it. From now on I will only tell you that you’re repulsive and hideous.

TheOnlyRobinThatRocks: I’m breaking up with you.

TheCatsMeow: But after I help you with your mission tonight.

TheOnlyRobinThatRocks: Obvsly. I’m a professional. Why do people keep forgetting this?

TheCatsMeow: And also the making out to spite your sister.

TheOnlyRobinThatRocks: Yeah we should do that first too. I mean we already penciled it in.

[skiyoosmi]

if fate permits

chapter twenty

a taste of his own medicine

previous < masterpost > next

“Hey… uhm… I’m sorry. I’m not sure where to start because I’ve been the worst friend to ya for the past weeks. But I want to start with an apology, I guess… yer probably tired of hearing it, right? … it’s something I’ll never gonna be proud of, my pettiness, I mean… but yeah… I’m sorry, YN. I hope ya believe me when I say yer impo–”

Beep! You sighed, ending yet another voicemail from Atsumu. It’s been almost a week since you and your brother moved out of the apartment and ever since the day after that, your soulmate has yet to cease dropping more than three voicemails every single day.

It wasn’t that you haven’t caught sight of him at school; in fact, you see him everywhere. It’s just so happens that you couldn’t help but avoid him like a plaque. You think he knows it though and you’re actually glad that he’s trying to respect your space (except for the endless ringing of your phone which only gets sent straight to voicemail every time, much like today). Which is why right now, you only stared at his contact, contemplating whether you will entertain his ‘apology.’ He sounds like he regrets it, after all and the fact that you only have less than 10 days before your flight wasn’t helping the situation.

“You know, if you keep having a soft heart like that, I’m betting a hundred bucks you won’t get too far once you become a famous writer. A lot of people will take advantage of you, you know. And don’t even get me started with those haters that disguise themselves as critiques,” Speaking of the devil, Kiyoomi suddenly spoke up, his figure leaning against the doorway of your room, much like the pose your father had when you were leaving your previous apartment.

Hundred bucks, you begin to think, where the hell would your jobless ass get a hundred bucks? You won’t tell him that verbally, of course; you value your life too much to even risk being strangled by your brother’s own hands.

“What do you mean soft heart? Where’d you even get the idea that I’m going to talk to him, doofus!? No way, he needs to learn his lesson,” You huffed, turning to him with an eyebrow raised, as if challenging him. He scoffed, entering your room, and sitting on your bed. You were kind of surprised he did given that your room was still messy as hell; but once again, you opted to keeping your mouth shut.

“It’s written all over your face, dear sister. Plus, you’ve said that a million times already I’m actually tired of hearing it now. After all these years, you think I don’t memorize every habit you have?” He replied, hands taking some of the clothes that were still stored in a brown carton and beginning to fold them neatly before standing up and putting it into your closet. He really does take after your father, from appearances to characteristics, “Your eyes, they speak to me the loudest, telling me every bit of your feelings. In fact, I’m kind of puzzled Atsumu never found out through them. But then again, it just supports the truth that he’s as dumb as he could get.”

This boy doesn’t really miss a chance to voice out his disfavor for your soulmate, huh? You wonder what is it that made him dislike… no, wait dislike was an underestimation… rather, loath Atsumu to the core. Bad first impression? No, your brother was not that petty. Did they have a fight you never knew about? If Atsumu and him ever fought, you were sure as hell you’d be the first one to know, seeing as your best friend practically whines and complains at you at every single thing in his life… so why?

“He hurt you and not just once. It’s not supposed to be my business but technically speaking, you are my sister before you were his soulmate and that’s all I needed to dislike him,” said Kiyoomi, continuing to fold your clothes as if what he said was practically nothing. Was he a mind-reader? You don’t know but perhaps, you could try to convince him to start up a fortune-telling business with you and earn millions.

“… You’re so creepy, ‘Yoomi,” You spoke up after a few moments of silence while he sneered, obviously not pleased with your comical reply, “Forget it! God, it’s so hard to have a serious talk with you.”

You only pursed your lips before bursting out into laughter, making him glare at you before his eyes softened. He hasn’t heard that pure laughter in a long time, after all. For some odd reason, he is proud that it was him that made you happy again like that, even for just a short while. After watching you work on something he doesn’t really know what, probably for the play, (it’s a relief you still have a smile on your face while you were on it though), he stands up, stopping by the doorway again when he heard you speak, “Thanks for being there, ‘Yoomi. Can’t imagine my life without my best brother.”

Kiyoomi knows he’s far from being the best brother in the world; he wasn’t expressive, sweet nor overprotective… but hearing those words from you means he’s at least good and somehow, he’s fine with that. He remains quiet before saying, “You know, your friend Hajime, I think he’s nice.”

He doesn’t say anything more, but he knows that his words reached you; he didn’t miss the way you blushed, after all. He takes note of making you flustered more often.

Osamu grumbles under his breath in annoyance, clenching then unclenching his hands as he watched Yui cling onto his brother’s arm like there was no tomorrow. Doesn’t this girl have any decency left in her blood? They were in the public cafeteria of the university, good heavens! And they haven’t even officially became soulmates AND a couple.

The last thing he wanted on his agenda today was to become a third wheel, much less to his brother; and the fact that it’s not even with you, the true soulmate, his favorite Sakusa (he won’t let Kiyoomi know that though), and best drinking buddy, makes it more unbearable for the gray-haired lad. He could only scowl so hard at his twin, who on the other hand, remained unmoved. At least that’s what Osamu sees but unbeknownst to him, Atsumu just wishes he could go and find you as soon as possible.

He has had enough of you averting your gaze each time you catch each other’s eyes at the theater room. According to his brother, your flight is in ten days which means he only had a few more days to make your friendship right; to make it up to you and prove that you are, indeed, an important figure in his life (cue Osamu’s mocking last night when they talked: “HAH!? You sure do have a peculiar way of showing her that she’s important. You’re making me want to laugh and choke you at the same time.”)

“Oh! Iwaizumi-kun, Tooru and… Sakusa YN?” Yui trails off, making the blonde perk up at the sound of your name, turning his body quickly only to find you already looking back at them with… disappointed eyes? As quickly as it came, it disappeared and soon, you were smiling and waving at Osamu, completely ignoring your “best” friend. Atsumu can only stare at you in disbelief; never, not even once, had you disregarded his existence like that before. Even when you had small arguments, you made sure to acknowledge him with a simple nod.

In addition to your indifference, Hajime only furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at Yui’s greeting, as if he doesn’t know Yui at all, not even as an acquaintance. Hence, the three of you only proceeded to the table Makki, Mattsun and your brother saved for you.

“Eh? Iwaizumi… ignored me?” Yui frowned, obviously not used to being disregarded by the boy who used to give her a greeting every time they come across each other. As far as she could remember, they ended their bond in good terms, without anyone having to feel angry at the other so why is it that he acted that way? Did he hold a grudge after all?

Meanwhile, Atsumu gazed into nothing, your sad eyes flashing into his mind and staying there. Have you given up on him already? Did his nightmare that day actually came true? His trail of thoughts was cut off with Osamu’s voice speaking with amusement plastered on his face, “ooh, a taste of his own medicine, huh YN?”

He smirks, finding his brother’s suffering oddly satisfying. He too, like Kiyoomi, has his limits as to Atsumu’s undesired talent of hurting you (he knows the blonde was also suffering but you know, it just really gets on his nerves how blind his twin could get). So right after saying that, he stands up, picking up his tray that holds his food and beginning to walk where your table was.

“Samu! Where are you going?” The said lad looks back at his blonde twin weirdly before shrugging, “YN and Kiyoomi’s table, where else? You can’t expect me to stay on the table with you two, it’s weird.”

“So… you really can’t remember anything about your soulmate? Like who it is or something?” Oikawa asked, staring at Hajime’s hands, as if he’d be able to see anything on his pinky. Unfortunately for him, the ex-captain was not given the ability to be a Moira so he wouldn’t be able to see any changes no matter how long or hard he looks. The spiky-haired lad merely groans, feeling a headache coming due to his dear friend’s pestering, “Yes. I told you that already. I just woke up, saw my thread black and now, I can’t remember anything about who it is.”

“But you can remember us? It’s just the soulmate stuff you forgot?”

“Well, I’m talking to you right now, am I not, you dumbass?” Hajime snarled; an inch close to punching his best friend in the face. Beside him, you look down, feeling the sadness and heartbreak for him because even those feelings were lost the moment he woke up. If you let go of Atsumu, will this also happen to you? You can only give a pathetic laugh at your silly question; of course, it will. You weren’t some kind of special Moira that will be exempted from that ‘curse.’ But you wonder, how would he react? Would he be sad? Or would he just forget about you too and just throw everything you had away? It seems so easy for him to do that, after all.

Now that you witness what’s gonna happen upon cutting the thread, a part of you somehow wishes you should’ve just told him when it was still early, when you were still young and problem-free. Maybe he would’ve given you a promise like those in the movies wherein he says he would marry you once you get older. Maybe he would’ve been able to love you if you could’ve just given him a chance to do so. But it’s your fault, isn’t it? Because you were a coward; you were so greedy for true love that you can no longer have it, you think to yourself.

In the midst of your rather negative thoughts, a warm hand pulls you away from mentally beating up yourself further. Looking up, you find Hajime looking at you with soft eyes, as if assuring your heart that: “You’ll be fine. I’m here. I’ll keep you safe.”

Maybe… just maybe, the universe has given you another chance for true love.

marga's notes. I HAVE FOUND A NEW HUSBAND AND HIS NAME'S BENIMARU SHINMON

taglist is closed

[mojjisxng]

hold me like you wanna | sunghoon x reader

genre- angst, fluff, sort of enemies to lovers

warnings- a single curse word lmao, angst (themes of self hatred)

word count- 1.3k+

no capital letters intended

a/n- I FINALLY DID IIIIT!!! writer’s block has really been fucking me up lately, so i’m proud that i’ve actually done this. it’s probably a little short and won’t be very good, but i’m not angry with it. this scenario is based off of the song ‘hold me like you wanna’ by somebody’s child. i put in some of the lyrics throughout (but they’re not i order). i hope you enjoy it 🥺

- issy💕

[9:35pm]

just another normal wednesday evening at dance practice, you know except the fact that i was crying over- no, having a mental breakdown over the boy i both hated and loved the most. park sunghoon. you see, i’ve had a huge crush on him for so many years, but he’s always been so unreachable due to being the most popular boy in school. his utter perfection really began to peeve me and i let all my frustration and insecurity build up. well, up until we had to work on a school project together anyway; that’s when i totally messed everything up, even though i never realised it in the moment. i was so horrible to him while we were working together, making snide comments here and there. this became a regular thing between us both; it had gotten so bad that we had become the worst of enemies. despite all of this, i could no longer pretend and broke down, alone in that practice room.

You're acting like a kid

“why are you crying, dumbass? you look like a stupid little kid who dropped their ice cream.”

i snapped out of my reverie and glanced towards the source of the voice that i know all too well, tears still streaming down my face.

“oh shit- you’re CRYING crying. what’s wrong?”

“you wouldn’t understand,” i retorted.

“try me.”

And you tried your best, and you don't succeed

and that’s when the dam broke and all my twisted up emotions started to unravel and overflow; “i just hate feelings things, all right! i can’t stand feeling so insecure about myself and how i can’t match up to everyone else. even though i try my best with everything, i’m not pretty enough, not loud enough, not smart enough and not even kind enough to ever be loved by anyone; and i hate myself so much for it!” at this point, i was yelling, more in frustration at myself than sunghoon, my face was wet with bucket loads of tears and my fists were clenched too.

I don't want you to feel like I did so...

sunghoon’s soft voice brought me back down to earth, “hey hey just breathe okay, it’ll help you calm down.”

“why are you even being nice to me sunghoon, have you forgotten that you hate me?”

“i don’t hate you y/n, and you’re struggling right now, i don’t want to see you like this, even though you really piss me off,” he remarked as he sank down against the wall. i was trying to process what sunghoon had just said, when he solemnly added “come here.” i tentatively shuffled over to him, apprehensive of what he was going to do. was he going to shout at me, hurt me, laugh at me- oh, he just pulled me to sit in between his legs. all of my muscles froze because i was so shocked at his newfound tenderness. he clearly noticed how tense i was, as he rubbed a hand on my back and explained himself, “i just want to comfort you or whatever because you just sound so broken. it’s weirding me out, you never act like this. what’s wrong y/n, tell me. like were you rejected or something?”

i absolutely could not tell sunghoon the truth because he’d just despise me even more, so i had to vaguely tip-toe around what i truly wanted to say to him.

“no, not exactly. i’m just feeling a lot of things right now. one of those feelings should be something positive, well it usually is for other people anyway. but for me, it’s not an exciting emotion; it just brings me pain everyday. as it consumes me, it makes me feel nauseous and anxious without fail, yet it will only bring more harm if i act on it. it’s just another thing in life that i’m failing miserably at. i just want to give up, i feel too inadequate for anything good to happen to me,” i lamented, in total dejection, as my silent tears dropped onto the wood floor.

You don't have to say anything

the air was still between me and sunghoon for a beat too long, so i looked up, only to be met with a glassy-eyed sunghoon staring at me in pity. “y/n, stop! don’t say things like that; you’re breaking my heart. i loathe that you can say thing like that about yourself. you’re more than what you say you are, even i know that.”

“why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden? keep being vicious to me, that’s all i’m worthy of. i don’t deserve true happiness because i’m just a bitter and lonely girl, who takes out her own insecurities on other people!” my body was shaking as i cried and i could not look at sunghoon, it was too humiliating.

but even after the lifetime of self doubt that i held inside spilling out, sunghoon only gently tugged me closer to him, so that i was curled against his chest. he then asserted with utmost confidence, “you deserve the world y/n, actually no, you deserve the whole universe. i know you don’t believe me, probably because you don’t seem to like me very much, but i like you. i like you a lot. so when you started to act negatively around me, i was extremely upset so i reciprocated the malicious behaviour. but hey, it never stopped me from liking you and it sucks that i caused you so much inner conflict. my god this is so embarrassing.”

to say i was gob-smacked would be a complete understatement. the knowledge that he actually liked me, whether i believed it or not, made me feel even more guilty so i started to divulge the truth, “no no no you can’t possibly like me, you’re too good for me, like totally out of my league. oh god oh god OH GOD i’m such a mess...the only reason i started being mean to you was because your perfection irked me so much, that it made me enraged at you. i didn’t want to feel so defeated, so i made an enemy of you instead.”

“oh y/n, you were never one for being up front and simple,” sunghoon chuckled, “but at least we both know that our feelings are mutual.” he didn’t even give me a chance to answer, as he caressed my cheek with one hand, and placed the other on the back of my neck to pull my face closer to his, taking my breath away. he closed the gap between us, moving his plush lips against mine. when i realised what was actually happening, i returned the kiss. however, all good things have to end, and let me tell you, the kiss felt like it ended just as fast as it had started.

we fell deep into each other’s eyes, dumb smiles etched onto our faces and a blush painted onto our cheeks. i was the first one to break the silence this time around, “so ummm sunghoon, i know we got off to a rocky start, but would you be willing to give us a go? what i’m trying to say is, do you want to go on a date with me tomorrow, to ummm that popular café down the street o-or s-something?”

“there’s no other way i’d want to spend tomorrow,” sunghoon affirmed, “but right now all i want to do is stay right here with you in my arms and make up for lost time.”

Just hold me like you wanna

[tsukiida]

honey — bakugou katsuki

— info :: bakugou x gn!reader ; sfw ; fluff & humour ; 6.04k words.

— contents :: quirkless reader ; reader’s pov ; scheming friends ; dumbass!reader ; slight cussing ; confessions.

— synopsis :: if there’s one thing that you have in common with bakugou katsuki, it’s obliviousness to the other’s feelings. a haunted house is the best place to resolve misunderstandings.

— note :: it’s been a while; I finally finished this!! :D it’s a continuation to bakugou’s “pining”, and I’d suggest reading that first for the full experience™ but there are hints dropped throughout “honey” to give you an idea of what happened! I hope y’all like this! :)

quite honestly, you've got to be the biggest idiot possible.

really, you had the best chance.

it’s not like confessing to bakugou katsuki would be that bad, right? the most he’d do is turn you down with a scoff and then go back to pretending you don’t exist while chasing his heroic dreams.

he’s not big on humiliating people unless they’re— a: aspiring heroes, or b: midoriya izuku.

he definitely wouldn’t lord it over your head and tease you about it.

kaminari really gave you the best opportunity to get things out in the open!

and you let it slip through your fingers like an idiot.

furthermore, you really did also say that you have absolutely no romantic interest in the explosive pretty boy. you acted like the idea of harboring any feelings towards him shocked you. you also acted like he was the weird one for thinking you liked him.

while having a raging crush on him which really makes your heart beat and bounce around in your ribcage as if getting a firsthand taste of his quirk.

have you mentioned that you’re an idiot?

right, you have done that enough times, so maybe the next step is to explain why.

you’d been out running an errand when you’d come across midoriya izuku.

midoriya; the only other quirkless student in your year, in junior high. you’d never talked much to him, but you’d felt a sense of camaraderie with him whenever you saw him. the school was small enough that you could count the number of quirkless people on one hand.

you and deku were included in that number.

the only reason why you didn’t get picked on for the reasons he did was because you never wanted to be a hero.

and you avoided bakugou katsuki like the plague.

to be honest, you hated him at first.

you’d seen it all, but hadn’t been able to do anything other than giving midoriya a few words of comfort which felt hollow to your own ears. you still blamed yourself a little for having never helped him properly.

you loathed bakugou for being as powerful as he was, as arrogant and stuck up as he was, and for being the petty bully who really thought he was better than someone just because of a quirk.

you were bitter. not because you didn’t have a quirk, but because people like him made people like you feel like you weren’t worth anything.

that’s why, when you chanced upon midoriya after such a long time, you were elated.

you were so happy when you found out that he really did have what it takes to be a hero.

if you deliberately ignored bakugou, then that’s entirely on him and not on you.

you won’t be taking responsibility for things that aren’t your fault.

…you were also wary of him.

you didn’t want him to blow you up if you so much as smiled at him.

not that he deserved seeing your smile anyway.

that’s what you told yourself right in the beginning. and that’s what came to bite you in the ass, because some days you have to do your best to conceal your smile at the mention of the stupid explosive boy’s name.

he really does scare you, you didn’t lie about that. but despite that, your brain thinks that it’s fun to get flustered over someone who scares you. just a little bit! he’s losing that scariness rapidly in all situations except when you’ve seen him in action as a budding hero. you just get worried that he’s going to take one look at you and decide that you’re getting in his way, a nuisance to everyone, and whatever else he can think of you.

in all honesty, you’re aware that he was an idiot in middle school, and the majority of his issues stemmed from his convoluted relationship with midoriya. if midoriya himself can forgive him, then you don’t really have a reason to hold grudges. and you know he’s grown. he’s matured to an extent you never expected from him, but perhaps that’s how he goes through life.

exceeding expectations is something he’s great at.

and he’s grown into someone wonderfully inspiring, if not intimidating.

—juuuust a little!

…

uraraka finds out first.

you love that girl, but you could do without her knowing about your embarrassing crush on one bakugou katsuki.

if only she’d actually helped you out, instead of teasing you subtly to the point that you couldn’t even stay in the same room as bakugou—to the point that you vehemently denied any sort of interest in him when midoriya innocently brought up the other boy in a conversation.

it becomes a reflex to avoid anything related to bakugou and romance in the same space. which is how you landed yourself in the mess with kaminari.

so you’re going to blame uraraka. she’s definitely at fault! it’s not your wimpy self to blame!

“uraraka,” you end up mumbling into the phone, rocking back and forth while hiding your face against your knees, wishing to be swallowed whole.

“uraraka, i told kaminari that i don’t like him.” despite having promised yourself that you won’t bring the whole thing up with her, you can’t help it. she’s still your precious friend that you’re very fond of, and the same friend who wrangled out from you all of your embarrassing opinions of him.

“uraraka, he’s going to hate me now. he’s going to think i don’t think he’s cool or strong, or whatever else that might hurt his pride. he’s going to completely stop paying attention to me now!”

you may claim that you blame her, but you’re aware that she’s not at fault. she always tries hyping you up when you’re nervous and comforts you when you’re down. perhaps you’re taking advantage of her kindness, but you really don’t want to be left alone with your thoughts. and it really is her fault for being so encouraging when it comes to dealing with your feelings for bakugou katsuki.

so when your friend just wordlessly hums in response for the third time, your fingers clench in your hair and you let out a frustrated sigh. raising your pitch obnoxiously, you whine, “uraraka!”

“i love you, but if you call my name like that one more time i will tell deku.”

you freeze, not sure if she means telling him about your not-so-little crush, or merely the fact that you like singing uraraka’s name. she laughs mischievously, clearing up your confusion much too quickly, prompting you to let out frantic apologies and make her promise that she won’t let the cat out of the bag.

“really, though,” you mumble, “he didn’t even remember me. he asked me if i was messing with him using my quirk. i had to tell him i was quirkless and then deal with his anger.”

that gets her attention in an entirely different manner. she sounds positively incensed when she asks you why it matters if you’re quirkless, and you give her reasons that sound weak to your own ears.

“and how are you messing with him?”

that leads to you telling her about one of your earlier interactions with bakugou, back when you’d first started being friends with midoriya’s class. you mention how you were about ready to pass out when bakugou’s question registered in your mind and you had to tell him you were quirkless, before you’re back to bemoaning the conversation with kaminari.

and something clicks.

not in your brain.

but in uraraka’s.

…

it’s not just you avoiding bakugou.

bakugou avoids you like the plague.

the sensible part of you is relieved, but another, bigger and dumber, part of you is hurt. of course he’d avoid you if his friend asked you if you liked him, and you said you didn’t.

but ouch, you really didn’t expect it to hurt this much.

not that something like this should even matter to him, right? maybe it’s you who’s suddenly noticing that he avoids you, because now you have a reason to fixate on rather than trying to lie to yourself that bakugou is not entirely indifferent to you. he really has no reason to pay attention to you.

it all makes sense, but it doesn’t stop you from feeling saddened every time bakugou blatantly ignores you. nor does it stop you from going out of your mind wondering why kaminari, too, seems to avoid you at all costs. it’s not like you said you didn’t like him!

yes, it makes sense perfectly. but not to you.

it makes absolutely no sense to you.

…

midoriya’s advancing steadily in his hero career with uraraka’s help, because the latter convinces you to come meet up with the two of them on a rare day out, and the former conveniently drags bakugou out too.

really, such heroics, all for a friend’s pathetic love life? how heartwarming.

you’re still in shock at how easy it was, and god, you don’t want to think about the implications, with the way bakugou’s eyes flit from one to the other when he’s not looking at you.

you also don’t want to admit that you’re stealing glances out of the corner of your eye at the blond when you don’t feel his eyes boring into you.

talk about awkward.

you’ve always been enamoured by how smart bakugou actually is, but it works against you when he corners you after uraraka and midoriya mysteriously vanish under the guise of training.

(that too at an arcade, because gaming supposedly helps achieve better reflex. why is a quirkless person with no interest in being a hero even invited to this outing? one will never know. the only games being played here are with your frayed self-control.)

“oi, if you’re gonna avoid me, don’t be so obvious about it.”

“a—? avoid you?” you practically squeak, and his annoyance seems to increase. there’s something else that you can’t really put a finger to. you’d say he almost looks agitated? but there’s nothing to agitate himself over…

…unless he still thinks you’ve got a raging crush on him.

“nope!” you hastily respond before realising he’s not even said anything to you, but hey, it’s as good an answer to his complaint about you avoiding him.

why’s he complaining, anyway? shouldn’t he be glad no one’s getting in his way?

you ask as much, and he all but growls, words escaping him as you take a step back. bakugou is more susceptible to dramatics than one would think. you used to find it funny, but when such behaviour is aimed at you, you’re not sure how to respond.

“you think you can actually get in my way?” he bursts out, and you make a show of thinking about it, when internally every single one of your brain cells is rioting, self-composure in shambles as you’re rudely made aware of how little distance is between the two of you.

that’s fine, you’re strong, you’re not going to be weak in the face of bakugou katsuki’s incredibly attractive glower.

no, you’re not whipped, thank you very much, to the uraraka-shaped devil materialising in your mind.

ah, back to the matter at hand. it’s not possible for quirkless little you to get in his way, is it?

anyway—

“aren’t you the one avoiding me?” you’re going to try and turn this situation around on him even if it means confronting things you don’t want to.

he scoffs in disbelief, but by that time you’ve worked up the courage to look at him, and you see the look in his eyes. you’ve spent enough time around him to know what that means, even if you barely ever look at him. he looks like he’s been caught, and isn’t that the funniest little thing?

he notices the twitch of your mouth, his own eyes narrowing as it’s your turn to be caught now.

“kaminari,” bakugou says in lieu of a response, and your heart jumps in your throat. you don’t mind dropping a subject if he doesn’t plan on grilling you on it too—changing the subject would be great, but he just picked one even worse than the last!

“he’s stupid, don’t pay attention to him.”

“uh huh, he sure is,” you laugh nervously. if you’d had your bearings about you, you’d never have said that. as it is, your mind is still shaken up and hoping that he doesn’t catch on to the fact that you are the stupid one.

you’re also very busy battling a smug uraraka and shouting at incompetent old you for swooning in the face of your biggest problem. and for, you know, missing that golden chance to confess without anxiety.

“look at me.”

nuh uh, nope, not possible. you’re not going to survive looking into his pretty eyes.

he lets out another frustrated sound, and you wait for him to blow up again—maybe even cause explosions. you wonder why he’s not been doing that lately.

he gets tired of your stalling, and surprises you by getting in your line of sight, locking eyes with you.

ah, impatience is such a gorgeous look on him.

…and you’re insufferable.

“i am not avoiding you. why would i, idiot? there’s nothing i need to avoid you for.”

you nod, not quite believing him, but you really want to just move on from this. a part of you wonders if you should come clean. but bakugou really doesn’t seem like he wants to hear anything about that. it’s in the way his eyes flit away momentarily and his expression sours, and in the way he seems to be pushing himself to hold onto some shreds of self-control.

all you can do is nod, really.

“where’s deku?”

you’re barely able to carry on the conversation, making some excuse or the other as to your missing friend(s), doing your best to act like you don’t have a clue either. if he finds your behaviour suspicious, bakugou doesn’t comment on it.

he does comment on something else. again.

“you don’t have to keep avoiding me just because of pikachu either.”

really? there’s nothing better for him to talk about? you thought you were past this! and calling kaminari ‘pikachu’ is not that smart!

“pikachu was cute…” you mumble. and you need to be louder, because you don’t want bakugou leaning in any closer to hear you.

the proximity is doing things to you.

things like making you forget that he probably hates your guts and doesn’t want to spend time with you, nor talk to you, at all. things like how he’s probably upset at being stuck babysitting you while midoriya and uraraka are off who knows where. things like making you discuss the cute factor of a magic ball–inhabiting yellow electric creature when bakugou clearly means the boy who almost outed your silly crush.

the boy who was giving you the best opportunity to confess!!!

if there’s one person who will never let you forget that, it’s your own self.

bakugou makes a sound that almost sounds like laughter, but there’s no way, right?

he shuffles back slightly, making it that much easier to breathe before he drops another bomb.

“school festival.”

you blink.

“it’ll be next month. make sure you’re free.”

oh. the stupid part of you is internally rejoicing, but since there is no way that he’d actually ask you to come—

“a-are you asking me to visit…?”

no no no, you didn’t mean to ask—

bakugou gives you a flat stare, and you gulp. so you were right for once.

you mull over it for a moment, the concrete under your feet extremely interesting before meeting his eyes again, “am i allowed to?”

“you practically live with us with how often i see you in the dorms. you think they’ll stop you now?” he snorts, rolling his eyes, but there’s not as much bite to his words as one would expect.

he has a point.

but you can’t really see reason when every single cell of your body is screaming ‘IT’S A DATE’ over and over again.

you groan, before swallowing back the sound. uh oh, bakugou’s going to think you don’t want to—

“come when you can.”

hands in his pockets, he walks off as if he wasn’t just making you go through all stages of panic.

…

uraraka tells you why she vanished. she was simply being a ‘good friend’ and trying to get you and bakugou to reconcile. you politely tell her it wasn’t required, especially because there wasn’t much that happened.

except the fact that he asked you to turn up to the festival, so that’s nice, at least.

uraraka doesn’t react as expected, again, and she utters the cursed words that you never wanted to hear out loud. “aw, a date!”

“uraraka, no!”

but it’s too late. it’s been said and now you can’t think of anything else. you know it’s not a date, any sane person would know that, but you can’t stop thinking of that one stupid word and bakugou and the school festival and spending time with bakugou at the festival—

“uraraka… the festival— i’ll need to see him. i’ll see him having the time of his life while he’s in his element, i’ll see that infuriating face— i’ll have to spend time with him—”

“y/n,” uraraka gives you a look that’s the perfect amount of wary and pitying to make you embarrassed, but there are bigger things to worry about than your friend’s opinion of you.

“this is bakugou we’re talking about. he’s not that open about having fun unless it has something to do with murder.” the fact that he won’t be keen on spending time with you goes unsaid, but you know what she’s hinting at. “also, i don’t think you find his face as infuriating as you say.”

“still. bakugou katsuki. he… told me to— agh—”

and you’re back to square one, where the very mention of bakugou katsuki has you confused out of your mind because you don’t know how to act around him.

perfect.

…

time passes quicker when you’re hoping for the opposite, you find out when the days go by faster than you can blink. there’s just a week left before you have to see bakugou again, and it makes you nervous every time you think about it. which is a lot of times.

you’ve not seen the class in a while, since everyone told you they have a ‘surprise.’ you know they’re aiming to outdo their previous performance at the festival, you’re rooting for them. but without one of your main sources of entertainment, things haven’t been eventful.

except the conversation you have with kaminari over text, because of course he somehow procured your contact information and of course he felt like he had to make amends.

maybe you were expecting it because you were already on edge from when bakugou confronted you, but kaminari doesn’t beat around the bush and gets straight to the matter, which is quite unlike the last time you both talked. that time.

“haven’t got the chance to check in w/ u in a while, we’ve been crazy busy! i hope u’ve been well >:D” shifts to “we’re good, right?” sooner than you’d like, and you’re left staring at your screen in shock as you try to think of an innocuous response that doesn’t give away your true emotions.

kaminari is too quick, and he doesn’t even give you a chance to think of a lie before the next ping distracts you, leaving you staring at the latest message in horror; “blame bakugou! he’s the one who told us you like him! i’m really sorry! :(”

it’s nice of him to apologise, but you really have other things to think about.

like how it’s bakugou katsuki himself who apparently thought you had a crush on him.

he knew.

he knows.

he knows he knows he knows—

no, no, he doesn’t know. he can’t. maybe he was just suspicious.

and on the off chance that he does know, then of course. he’s smart. you’re stupidly obvious. of course he’d figure out.

but he doesn’t seem to hate you. he was the one who approached you every time! when he asked you to turn your quirk off, when he supposedly instructed kaminari to ask you if you liked him, and when he told you to visit for the festival.

you like to think that he’s just too busy training to even realise that you like him. you hope that’s the case. you can always come clean and admit that yes, you really do like him. but there’s also your lame excuse of a pride that remembers the unreadable expression on his face when he’d heard you then, before promptly leaving, the door shut slamming shut behind him.

perhaps it’s not your pride, but guilt. you don’t want to be annoying and get in his way. there are too many things going on in his life already, why would you want to add on to all of that with your silly lies? the same logic applies to a confession too, argues the part of you that lives and breathes denial.

looking at it from another perspective, bakugou likes the attention and admiration. maybe it would’ve been for the best if you’d just admitted—

it’s too late now, so the most you can do is type out a hasty response to kaminari before he suspects your silence.

“it’s totally ok. we’re good :DD will see you guys soon!”

it’s purely to hold yourself accountable and not weasel your way out of the inevitable trip, but kaminari’s enthusiastic response manages to bring a smile to your face.

…

the evening before the grand day, you call uraraka up before the jitters can defeat you. she doesn’t react much other than humming and speaking a few encouraging statements while you lament over your luck and try to subtly ask her how bakugou has been doing.

“i’m sure he’s… excited.” you can practically feel the smile gracing her lips, and you know she’s having fun at your expense. when does she not?

you know she’s also having fun when she calls you a whiny complainer and says bakugou would probably blow up if he knew even a bit of it, and you – predictably – complain more, blaming her for meddling and bringing you to this point.

bakugou doesn’t need to know about your penchant for whining when things don’t go your way. you think he’s only ever seen you smiling and speaking politely with everyone, if he’s even been looking. that’s good, you don’t want him to find you bothersome. you’ve been doing your best to appear sophisticated around him.

…

no amount of complaining and whining could prepare you for when bakugou turns around and grabs at your wrist.

bakugou’s too close again—things are suddenly eventful.

“too damn slow, are you trying to get lost?” he grumbles as he pulls you through the throng of people, and you smile weakly, internally telling yourself to get your act together and not let on how frazzled you feel at that moment.

you don’t know whether it’s your own skin heating up under his touch, or if his quirk is responsible. for a moment, it reminds you of when he asked you if you’re using your quirk on him. it’s sudden enough that it makes you snort under your breath before you catch yourself. he gives you a quizzical look out of the corner of his eye, and you shrug, smiling lightly. that sates his curiosity, and he looks ahead again as he moves towards a predetermined destination.

it’s a lot easier to deal with his hand against yours after that. eventually, he lets go, and you find yourself missing the warmth for a moment.

the warmth completely leaves you when you find yourself in front of—

“a haunted house.”

“congrats. we’re going in. let’s see how shitty it is.”

you get the sinking suspicion that he plans to rip everyone’s confidence to shreds, and you don’t want to be around for that, but he doesn’t give you a chance to protest. you’re not supposed to be overstaying your welcome or overstepping your boundaries either, so you resign yourself to following him around quietly and perhaps apologising to his victims if he goes too far.

you’re his only victim.

you only make your way through a few scares before you get the scare.

bakugou katsuki promptly turns to you, glaring. you, being the genius that you are, take a step away from him. this continues till you’re best friends with the wall, and you try not to panic at the feeling of something slimy now clinging to your shoulder.

how can you, anyway? you’ve got bakugou staring at you with a contemplative look, almost as if he’s looking into your very soul.

“you talked to the idiot.”

“there are many idiots,” you mumble, knowing full well which idiot he’s referring to. you hope kaminari hasn’t tricked you yet again. did bakugou put him up to that conversation— there are too many things you don’t feel you have in yourself to think about.

something changes, then, and he lets out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. he seems agitated, almost awkward, and you wonder why.

“you piss me off.”

huh? is he talking about how much you get in his way and bother him and make things hard for him and—

“kirishima told me.”

…did another person figure out about your crush? kirishima’s always seemed really sweet, and you don’t think he’s the kind that would deliberately spill any secrets. it wouldn’t be manly, right?

“he told me i should apologise.”

“huh?” you really can’t hold it in. why is he the one apologising? shouldn’t you…? and why is he apologising by telling you that you piss him off?

“he said i shouldn’t have put you on the spot and then avoided you. dunno why he thinks he has any say in the matter but you know what i realised? maybe you think like that too. maybe you’re,” he spreads apart his fingers before making a fist and scowling at it, “hurt. and you really did avoid me after that.”

you don’t say anything, still stuck on how constipated he’d looked just moments ago. you’re not supposed to be amused right now.

“oi, say something. aren’t you gonna deny it?”

still nothing.

“say something before i leave this place without you.” your incredulity shows on your face, and he huffs, “what do you want?”

“i… i don’t need an apology… everything’s okay…” it’s not, but you don’t want him to look further into this. there’s no point. “i’m not hurt, bakugou. there’s no reason for you to apologise.”

“then why’re you still acting so jumpy? i told you, just forget about what the electric idiot said and go on merrily through life. i told him not to bring it up with you again.”

“he said you told them i like you.”

he mutters something under his breath, no doubt cursing his friend out after you throw him under the bus. but he doesn’t let it affect him, straightening up again as he looks at you.

“miscalculation,” he shrugs, “i told them to drop it after you said you didn’t.”

“you believe me?” you shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but it slips out before you can stop yourself.

“no shit. you telling me you lied?”

you gulp. all of a sudden, the slimy wall is so interesting!

“stop avoiding my eyes, dammit!” bakugou comments, frustrated, and you inhale sharply.

“stop making me so nervous, then!”

uh oh. you shouldn’t have said that. it’s the game changer.

“i make you nervous?”

you don’t answer, hoping he drops it. he doesn’t, and he repeats the question. still, you can’t crumble just because he looks impatient, and you shrug non-committally. something tells you that the situation is steadily turning against you.

”hey, tell me. i make you nervous?” his grin is absolutely roguish as he waits for you to answer.

you still don’t speak, telling yourself that you won’t rise to the bait, you won’t respond to him because you’ve said way more than you needed to—

“weakling,” he sing-songs, and your jaw clenches.

“being nervous around someone isn’t necessarily a sign of weakness, bakugou. sometimes it’s also a sign of being wise.” there goes your plan.

“hah, are you saying that you’re wise for being nervous and avoiding me? what am i gonna do, eat you?”

“i don’t know, maybe executive some explosive murderous strategies?”

“i wouldn’t do that,” he spits out, running a hand through his hair. why is every pore of him screaming agitation? “it’s no fun defeating you when we’re not even competing.”

“oh really? then what’s your idea of fun?”

“when you tell me i make you nervous even though i’m not doing anything.”

“aren’t you supposed to be apologising to me?”

he snorts, “never. i only told you what some idiot thinks. but i can understand why you avoid me, i make you nervous after all.”

his self-satisfied laughter infuriates you, yet makes your own lips twitch.

he lets out a put-upon sigh, and scuffles the floor with his shoe.

“me too, dumbass.”

“huh?”

“you make me nervous too, idiot.”

“huh?”

face mere centimetres away from yours, he lowers his voice to a whisper, “i’ll only say this once, so keep your ears open if you want to know. i miscalculated. i thought you had a thing for me because you didn’t meet my damn eyes always gave pretty answers whenever you talked to me. but you didn’t. i was…” he gulps before clearing his throat, sounding far too aggressive in that moment before he practically grits out: “projecting. i was projecting because i’m apparently into you.”

you stare at him speechlessly. try as you might, you can’t think of a response. you don’t even know what he means by the last bit. surely he couldn’t mean…? why you, of all people? but you’re worried he might leave, his threat from earlier still rings clear. so you resign yourself into taking his words at face value and admitting the truth.

no, it’s not resignation. it’s the resolve you’ve been lacking for a while now, finally coming together after hearing that from bakugou. even if this is a cruel prank, you’ll survive. you just need to get it out before it consumes you and ends up being a what-if, years down the line.

“you may have projected, but it wasn’t a miscalculation. it’s… not entirely… unreciprocated. the feeling is mutual, you could say.”

it’s out now, and you’re alright. the ground doesn’t swallow you up, bakugou katsuki doesn’t blast you headfirst into slimy walls. nothing happens. the moment remains suspended in time, or perhaps time is suspended in that moment.

bakugou’s eyes narrow as he mulls over your words. he glares at you again. it’s muted.

“if it’s reciprocated, shouldn’t you be doing your best to cling to me every chance you get?”

him being reasonable and quiet puts you at ease. the words come out more easily.

“shouldn’t you have done the same?” he scoffs at your question, but doesn’t offer a response, so you continue, ”bakugou, you know why you avoided me, and i know why i avoided you. i didn’t want to get in your way. and i didn’t want anyone else to catch onto it.”

“was deku in on it?”

you know how he’ll respond if he knows midoriya had an inkling before him, so you hastily dispel the suspicion from his mind.

“you said you don’t know me well.”

“bakugou, you didn’t even remember me when we first met,” you reason with him, and he scowls. “it applies to both of us; we really don’t know each other enough.”

taking a deep breath, you continue, “as for the rest of it, i panicked. i admit i didn’t deal with the conversation as well as i should’ve, and some of the things that i said weren’t the nicest. i know it was hurtful even to kaminari, but i couldn’t help it.”

bakugou scoffs, “if anyone’s hurting, it’s only him. not that he has any reason to be.”

you wince as you’re reminded of the texts the boy sent you. now that you’re thinking clearly, you feel slightly bad for having been cold to him, and lied. but there are bigger matters at hand.

“you actually remember that conversation?”

“no shit, why else would i ask?”

“but… why? why do you remember it? that makes me feel a little guil–ty…” you trail off as sparks fly off his fingers, the explosion possibly unintentional. it allows you to see his face clearly in the dark, and the red tint to his ears surprises you. he’s glaring at the wall, not meeting your eyes, and your heart promptly melts.

“aw, bakugou, i didn’t know you cared—”

“shut the hell up!”

you wait for him to calm down as he sets off more explosions, but the smile on your face refuses to leave. he doesn’t seem to mind it either even as he glares at you, because there’s no harshness in his eyes.

“this doesn’t mean we’re dating,” he eventually declares, and you raise an eyebrow. “i won’t spend my time on things like that. we like each other, big deal.”

“i just said whatever you feel is not entirely unreciprocated. who says i like you?” you ask in a rare show of humour as you roll your eyes teasingly. sobering up, you nod slightly, “you could’ve worded it better, but i understand what you mean.” you hold up a hand to stop him from interrupting you. “don’t worry, i have no intention of getting in the way of something you’ve wanted practically your entire life, bakugou. it’d be stupid of me. and i know neither of us are ready for that level of commitment yet. it’s enough if we— you know…” you look at him pointedly, not wanting to utter the words. but it’s bakugou katsuki, and he’s run out of patience from after all the teasing you’ve subjected him to.

“it’s enough if we what—? tell me, i don’t know.” he leans in again, the petty side of him thriving. you’re starting to get used to his proximity; it’s what you tell yourself but you barely stop yourself from averting your eyes.

“i’m just saying it’s enough if we like each other. we can get to know each other slowly and that’s it. we don’t need to jump into something that has a low success rate in the first place.” he gives you an incredulous stare, and you elaborate, whistling, “high school flings are mostly just flings, bakugou.” it’s not the truth, but it’s not entirely a lie.

he makes a face at you. eventually, he exhales.

“so? you like me? can i ‘pass it off’ as that?”

“will you ever let that go?” you groan, and he only responds with a cocky tilt to his lips. “yes, i like you. i wonder why i do,” you huff. “why’d you bring me to a haunted house of all places?”

“so you could get scared and beg me to save you.”

(you make a note to yourself to tell uraraka later that it wasn’t a date. but truthfully, you’re not disappointed about that.)

you stare at him, unamused. “you scare me much more than any haunted house could.”

“then stop getting scared!”

from the way his face is angled away from yours, you’d almost think he’s pouting. your eyes move between his face and the steam—

you wait for his hand to stop steaming before reaching forward and taking hold of it.

you give him a wry smile.

he returns the gesture with the same wild eyes and disarming grin that first drew you to him.

…

word got out that someone had been threatening a visitor in the haunted house. bakugou’s friends are convinced that you both had another fallout—kaminari is too scared to even look in your direction. good for you, because he misses every time you and bakugou lock eyes.

you frequently find yourself stifling laughter.

— note :: thanks for reading!! :) please let me know how this was; a lot of effort went into it and I’m not sure how to feel about this, so feedback is really appreciated! :)

— taglist :: @kur0samu​ ; @mylife-demonstrates-murphys-law​ & @sorrythatspussynal​ ; @i-need-air​. If you want to be removed from or added to my taglist (for bnha or all works), please send an ask. :)

[avionvadion]

Sessrins do not interact. You will be blocked on site and without question. Stay in your own god damn tags. We are not changing the anti tag either. The point of it is to AVOID the tag if you don’t like it. Stop doing the stupid.

RAGE FILLED RANTING BELOW.

(I did not filter my language. I’m like this close to throwing up. I’m so sick of this. This last episode better be the last because-)

Ah yes. Nothing to make an already not-so-good day worse is by Sunrise possibly getting a season 2 for Trashahime. Gods, I feel sick. How are they even getting approval for it???

It’s ratings have been dropping since episode 15 because of the obvious child grooming and pedophilia, and even more since the blatant homophobic, transphobic, and racist displays, and the continued disrespect towards the OG cast. What the hell even is the plot?????

Finding the dream butterfly?? Well no one seems to care about that. Definitely don’t put any effort into searching for it. Defeating Kirinmaru??? Well no one seems to care about that either. Man doesn’t even seem to care or remember what his own evil scheme is. Zero???? Sorry who is she again??? Some scorned lady who made rainbow pearls from tears because Toga said he wasn’t interested in her?? Oh wait- suddenly the reason why tetsusaiga and tenseiga exist has changed?? Trashahime is literally rewriting all the lore that was stated previously in the original Inuyasha series??

Well gee, that does explain SOMETHING here. Or does it? Because why, if in all that time in the OG series when the rainbow pearls were “existing”, didn’t Naraku think to grab them alongside the Shikon Jewel???? Not to mention the new time wheel or whatever which can REWIND TIME.

SO THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE OG NARAKU COULD HAVE KILLED INUYASHA, STOLEN THE JEWEL, AND COULD HAVE EVEN FORCIBLY TAKEN KIKYO LIKE HE WAS PLANNING!??? As a result, Kagome would never have come to the feudal era because the Jewel would never form inside her body, Miroku would have been swallowed up by the Wind Tunnel, alongside any illegitimate kids he might have had, and Sango would have never lost her village. BUT HE DIDN’T!???? WHY!????

This is the most evil, sinister, douche canoe, mastermind in anime itself. A monster who has killed thousands of people- murdered entire towns and villages on a whim, and to create a mother freaking river of blood to open a gate to the underworld, who had been plotting for over FIFTY YEARS. This is a man who sold his soul to demons because he was so lust-hungry for a god damn priestess and was bitter towards Inuyasha for “stealing her” from him. You KNOW he would have snatched up those pearls. You KNOW he would have used that dumbass time wheel to make things work in his face.

BUT HE DIDN’T. Why? Oh, I know!!! Her’s what the explanation is!! Because it’s not god damn canon and Sunrise is pulling things out of their asses to make a story that doesn’t make sense and has zero continuity at all- so much so to the point that they’re trying to rewrite the original and ret-conning next to everything that involves Inu no Taisho/Toga/Inupapa.

The protagonists have zero motivation, don’t care about anything, never ask questions, and are literally just existing for the purpose to exist because a perverted old man (Sumisawa) wants to live out a fantasy where he can have a child bride. 🤢 There’s no way this can be getting a second season. No way.

If this followed OG Inuyasha at all, MirSan would have been busting their asses to find InuKag and save them. Koga would have murdered Yawaragi (?)(I don’t know her stupid name) for selling Moroha into slavery AND he never would have pawned her off to someone else at all!!! This is KAGOME’s kid. Koga would kill himself before letting anything happen to Kagome or Moroha.

And Sesshomaru. LORD SESSHOMARU. This man despises schemes. Loathes them. He hates manipulation. He is straight forward, proud, and the literal guardian of children. He would never go along with Kirinmaru, and he sure as hell wouldn’t marry one of the two kids he’s been protecting for a solid year. Rumiko Takahashi herself stated that his ideal WOMAN was someone ELEGANT and REFINED. Not a freaking wild child.

There is no “great 14 year scheme” that’s in the planning. Not with Sesshomaru. That isn’t even Sesshomaru in the god damn Trashahime garbage hole!!!! They’re nothing more than cheap imitations.

And Rin. She was eight years old when she lost her parents and brothers to bandits, and became a traumatized mute because of it. She was then repeatedly abused by the villagers who took her in. Later, she was killed by wolves. Revived by Sess, she travelled with him. Later dies AGAIN because her soul got snatched away when she was kidnapped to the underworld. Revived by InuKimi.

And- what??? You mean to tell me she’s supposed to be dying for a THIRD TIME in the trash heap you call a show??? Dying, after having been raped and abused by the adult who was meant to be a safe space, a guardian, a protector. Forced to give birth. And no one fucking cared. A fifteen year old girl.

Yeah, no. This ain’t Inuyasha. It’s a fucking insult. To the series, to those who hold the series close to their hearts, and to those who have gotten out of some very very dark times because of this series being such a comfort.

And it makes me sick to the stomach knowing this... this awful disgusting trash is possibly getting a second season. Just let the garbage burn already. Please. Nobody wants this. Everything after episode 3 just went to shit. Just stop. You’re no “true fan”. You just want to destroy it. Make people ashamed of having watched or read Inuyasha. Stop fucking pretending to care and own up to your own bullshit. Please.

[yayteaberry]

*SFW* Dumbass! (Bakugou)

When you were about two years old, your family made a huge move from America to Japan. Your father found suitable hero work there so that’s where you stayed. His quirk worked much like a wolfs, giving him heightened senses and much more mobility. Naturally you inherited the physical aspects such as a tail and ears, though much of you remained human like your mother.

Growing up, you quickly bonded with your neighbor's son, Katsuki Bakugou.

Your fiery and determined attitude worked really well with him and he made for an excellent playmate. He could handle your tendency to roughhouse and wrestle, if anything he seemed to enjoy it. You two were inseparable, spending a near unhealthy amount of time with each other, this carried well into your schooling years.

Despite claiming you had your own intentions behind it, you did follow him like a lost puppy. It was quite obvious to everyone around you that you’d do anything for him, except for him of course.

You were almost dangerously defensive over him, snapping at people who questioned or pushed at him while you were around.

It made you seriously upset when other people touched him or got to speak with him more than you, heavily sulking and pouting until you got your opportunity for his attention.  As guilty as you could feel about it in retrospect, you really can’t help it.

When you had his attention all to yourself, you loved to spar with him more than anything else. It wasn’t like it was a special activity but still it felt like something between you and him. As you grew up ‘wrestling’ became something skin to sparring and then just became a routine part of training once he got into UA.  Though there was a nostalgic undertone, in the past it used to be something he’d only do with you, and you were having a hard time letting go.

Currently you were waiting for him to come back to his room so you could ask him to do just that. He enters his room right on time, totally unperturbed you were already inside since you’d made a habit of coming in anytime you wanted.

“Hey! Lets go practice!”, you chirp as you hop off his bed, excitedly skipping up to him.

“Nah, I just finished up doing that with Kirishima for the past hour and I wanna take a break.” He speaks as he nonchalantly drops his bag to the floor. 

It’s somehow more insulting that you can smell how sweaty he is. 

“What the fuck do you mean ‘no’?”, with a disgusted huff you size him up, angry enough to just tackle him already.

“Fucks your problem? I didn’t promise you anything today.”

You pout as you often do, crossing your arms over your chest, ears pinched back. “Yeah but why would you run off with him like that! I’m right here! You in love with him or something?”

He rolls his eyes and matches your stance with his standard snarl, staring you down. The height difference does nothing to make you intimidated, and it never has. “I can do what I want. He asked me first and either way I need to branch out and win against different people who actually provide a challenge.”

You scoff and throw your hands at your sides after balling them into fists, stomping your foot down to accent your disapproval. “I do provide a challenge, you don’t win every time you asshole! I bet he was really terrible at it, not nearly as good as me!”

The way his face scrunches up a moment makes you narrow your eyes, not sure what he’s thinking about. When a big grin breaks out you feel your rage double.

“You’re jealous of him.”

That makes you nearly explode, snorting out a scoff and shaking your head. “Not in your wildest fucking dreams! I am not jealous!”

“Yes, yes you are.”, he says after a laugh that makes your face feel hot.

“Stop talking so calmly! I just said I’m not so I’m not! Shut the fuck up! Shut up, you’re so dumb sometimes!”, you shout back at him, turning your head to the side as you instantly loathe your inability to shut your mouth.

He only smiles wider, leaning close into your personal space, gently flicking your nose. “You totally are, I can see it.”

You swat at his hand and growl, tail bristling as you go fully defensive. “I said shut the fuck up! There’s nothing jealous about me! I just don’t think you should be spending your time with such a loser!”

Easily he grabs your hand, tilting his head and speaking with such a mocking tone you have to keep down the urge to bite him. “Oh? And, just who do you recommend replacing him? If not him, then who? If you’re not jealous then I assume you’ve got another person in mind. C’mon, I’m all ears.”

With a harsh yank you get your hand back, pushing on his chest and getting even more frustrated when he doesn’t budge. “Shut up! I said shut up! Stop being such a bastard about this!”

“Why should I? You’re the one freaking out.”

“I AM NOT FREAKING OUT!”, you shout, freaking out.

“It’s adorable that you get so upset just because I spent an hour with someone else, you’re all pink in the face over it. That’s jealousy if I’ve ever seen it.” He can’t wipe the smirk off his face when you act like it, he did always find it cute when you get so heated over him giving you attention. 

“I’m not upset and I’m not jealous! I just don’t like you accusing me of things that I’m not! You’re a fucking idiot!”, you continually spout, upper lip curled up as your breathing turns into gruff pants, barely avoiding the urge to start barking. 

Despite how you look fit to maul him, he finds himself perfectly comfortable grabbing one of your ears, delicately massaging it between his fingers. The action almost instantly starts working to calm you down, feeling so good you lean into it without realizing it. Though you’re still pouting, the raging fire has simmered down greatly.

“I can’t only spar with you, I do need to improve my technique.” He speaks as he continues, now using both hands for both ears.

You puff out a large breath, “Well why can’t you do that with me? I can change my fighting style, do different things. If you need something different then why can’t you tell me what?”

“Why is this so important to you? We hang out a fuck ton outside of doing that so whats the difference.” His voice is laced with annoyance, making you wince internally.

“Because he’s got his stupid hands all over you.”, you reply, mildly hypnotized enough by his massaging that you let some of the truth slip out.

“So you should be the only person allowed to touch me?” He raises an eyebrow at that, nearly letting out another laugh.

Your stomach sinks at the implication of what you’ve said, attempting to fishtail your way out of it. “No! Just, that, well! Why’s it even matter, you’re not listening to me anyways! God is it too much to ask that you pay some attention to your best friend sometimes!” You grab at his wrists and pull his hands away, tossing them away.

“What the hell would you even call this right now? You even sleep in here most nights, how the fuck can I possibly give you more attention! Do you wanna be attached at the fuckin hip!”, he says with an exasperated grunt, pinching at the bridge of his nose. 

“Shut up! It’s just comfortable here is all, not a crime to have preference! S-So what if I like it in here? So what if I don’t think you should let just anybody get their hands all over you!” You anxiously fidget with your hands, shrugging passively despite your raised volume.

“So you admit that you’re upset about me sparring with Kirishima because you don’t want him to touch me!”, he says while he points an accusatory finger towards you.

“Yea, whatever! So what!”, you shout as you throw your arms up, sitting back on his bed forcefully enough to bounce a few times, “Not a fucking crime is it! It’s contact, I’m part wolf you know, it’s kinda in my blood!”

“I have to do other shit besides enable your needy ass, you should be grateful I allow you to do all the shit you do!” He puts his hands on his hips, leaning down to get in your personal space.

“I’m not fucking needy!”, you shoot back instantly, nails digging into your palms.

“That’s right, you’re needy AND jealous!”

You can’t handle anymore slander being thrown at you, lunging off the bed and tackling him to the floor with a loud growl.

He goes down but flips you underneath him the moment he makes full connection with the ground, holding your wrists together in one hand above your head. Squirming around somewhat violently gets you free, pushing him by his chest to get him away. Once he’s off balance you shove him back onto the floor, sitting on his back.

As you grab one of his arms to twist, he shoves you backwards hard enough that you tumble off. That disorients you long enough for him to pin you down, his chest against your back and your face partially mashed into the floor. You can’t reach him like this, so you get up on your knees before he’s able to hold your hips flat down, wiggling like before to see if you can escape.

But, it doesn’t work, all it does is make him grunt strangely as your tail awkwardly presses into his stomach. To submit so he’ll get off, you relax, your ass settling against his lap.

“Giving up? Say it, say you’re giving up!” He says with the usual grit, tugging one of your arms backwards.

You yelp in pain, no longer willing to go gently into defeat. “I’m not giving up, I just want your boner out of my ass!”

“Don’t distract and fuckin’ lie, say you’re done!”, he punctuates his sentence by yanking your arm.

Just to prove a point you made up on the spot, you wiggle your hips against him, definitely winning by the way he lets go of your arm and sits upright to grab at your hips instead, letting a soft ‘fuck’ slip past his lips.

You’ve already started crawling away when he shoves you forward, falling onto your face with zero grace.

“Hey! Asshole, don’t push me!”, you whine as you rub at your nose, nearly sneezing.

“Serves you right!”

“Oh, for fucking what!”, you get back to your feet, seeing that he’s sat down on his bed.

“I don’t have to explain it to you!” He plops down onto his bed, once again crossing his arms over his chest.

“So that means you’re so cowardly you won’t admit that was a dirty play!”, you spit out at him as you stomp over to him, standing in front of him.

He nearly jumps up, getting right in your face to try and make you back down. “Don’t think I forgot what you’re trying to distract me from. This is all because you can’t accept that I can’t be up your ass all day like you are up mine!”

You don’t fold in the least, if anything leaning in close enough that your nose bumps into his. “Fuck. You.”

“Jealous bitch!”

“Stuck up bastard!”

The staring contest you’re having is intense, full of tension that threatens to explode if you so much as blink.

Suddenly, there’s a shift in the energy, gaze softening for just a split second before he presses his mouth onto yours. It’s not until he pulls away that you realize that was supposed to be a kiss, turning red as a tomato as your eyes widen.

Bakugou was actually blushing, looking at you as if he’s having a hard time with something. Which did scare you a bit since he was always so sure of himself. “You’re fucking stupid sometimes but you know you’re mine. So, just say it.”

“... What..?”, you say after a full ten seconds of star struck silence.

He grimaces and collects himself for a moment before speaking through gritted teeth. “I’m asking your dumbass to go out with me.”

“That’s not really asking, you didn’t even phrase it as a question...” Your eyebrows knit together as you shoot him a confused look.

“Well what’s your fucking answer!” He rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue against his teeth, something he always does when he’s nervous.

“Of course it’s yes, I’m not completely braindead,” you smile and kiss him on the cheek, very pleased over the outcome of the argument, “only stipulation is that you tell me before you rub yourself all over another person. In return I’ll stop threatening to bite everyone.”

[phasmwrites]

connected || bakugou katsuki

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Female!Reader Warnings: Smut (18+) Word Count: 6238 A/N: This is a part of the bnharem pen pals collab that can be found here! I don’t really know how I feel about this fic, so please be kind, I hope you all can find some enjoyment in it 💖 tagging @lady-bakuhoe​ @ramen-rambles​ @redbeanteax​ ily guys so much 😭

MOD DEKU [Today at 20:43 PM] 

Hello everyone of the All Might Fanclub Discord! Welcome back to another week where we discuss our favorite hero, All Might! This week’s discussion topic is: Which battle of All Might’s is your favorite? Be sure to let us know down below! 

Y/N [Today at 20:46 PM] 

I think All Might’s first fight back in Japan has got to be my favorite, against that sludge villain? He saved two kids and fought back when none of the heroes could!

 NumberOneHero [Today at 20:46 PM]

Uh, fuck no. First of all, the one who was ‘captured’ didn’t need anyone’s help, alright? It was obvious he was about to kick the villain’s ass before All Might even got there.

 Y/N [Today at 20:47 PM]

It kind of looked like he did need help- 👀

 NumberOneHero [Today at 20:47 PM]

Well you’re obviously a fucking idiot, as per usual.

 Y/N [Today at 20:47 PM]

Excuse me?! 

 NumberOneHero [Today at 20:48 PM]

Did you forget how to read? I said you’re a fucking. idiot. as. usual.

 Y/N [Today at 20:48 PM]

Okay then, what’s your favorite fight, asshole?

 NumberOneHero [Today at 20:48 PM]

Fuck you, I don’t have to tell you shit. 

 MOD DEKU [Today at 20:49 PM] 

Enough @Y/N @NumberOneHero this is the FOURTH time the two of you have gotten into a fight within this server. This is meant to be a fun place to discuss All Might, if you two refuse to stop bickering I will have no choice but to remove you both from the server, this is your final warning.

 Y/N [Today at 20:50 PM]

I’m sorry 😔 it won’t happen again!

 NumberOneHero [Today at 20:51 PM]

Whatever.

 ・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・

 You slammed your phone down onto your nightstand in frustration, yet again finding yourself irate from the childish behavior of the one guy in the Discord server you joined roughly two months ago. It had started out as a way for you to talk to others about one of your favorite pro-heroes of your childhood, but slowly you began to resent the notifications you received all because of one asshole. The fact that you even slipped down to his level, spewing out insults in return just made your stomach churn with self-loathing. 

The cellular device laid face down on your wooden table taunted you, as you wanted to apologize for your rude remarks only minutes earlier. Even if you didn’t receive an apology in return, which you were fully prepared not to, it would clear your guilty conscience, right?

That was when your phone buzzed with a private message notification from him.

 ・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・

 NumberOneHero [Today at 21:01 PM]

FUCK YOU, IF DEKU DIDN'T RUN IN TRYING TO "SAVE" THE OTHER KID, HE WOULD HAVE DEFEATED THE SHITTY VILLAIN WITH NO PROBLEM. THERE WAS OBVIOUSLY JUST TOO MANY EXTRAS GETTING INVOLVED, BUT YOU DON'T SEEM SMART ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND.

 Y/N [Today at 21:01 PM]

Wow okay 💀 you really had to dm me to insult me some more? What are you, seven?

 NumberOneHero [Today at 21:02 PM]

I'M JUST TELLING YOU FACTS, IDIOT. WHAT MORE WOULD I HAVE TO SAY?

 Y/N [Today at 21:03 PM]

I don't know, maybe try to have a conversation without the screaming, like a normal person?

 NumberOneHero [Today at 21:03 PM]

I'M NOT SCREAMING.

YOU'RE NOT WORTH MY TIME ANYWAYS.

 Y/N [Today at 21:04 PM]

Ouch, my poor heart 🤧 whatever shall i do...some stranger on the internet yelled at me

 NumberOneHero [Today at 21:04 PM]

FOR FUCKS SAKE, I'M NOT YELLING.

 ・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・

 A few days had passed from your conversation with the asshole on Discord and you had made the decision to mute the server over the weekend to avoid receiving notifications from it. You knew you would only feel compelled to speak to people, and you weren’t ready to deal with some stranger berating you once more. Although you did find their rage humorous, you had preferred to not be called an idiot each and every time you pressed ‘enter’ on a message. 

The weekend had slipped past your vision in a haze mixed with avoiding responsibilities and sleeping excessively. It almost seemed like no time had passed from the moment you left work on Friday and returned early Monday morning and before you knew it, you were seated at your desk at work twirling a pen between your fingers. 

The closer the clock on the wall crawled towards the afternoon, the quieter the office had become with less people power-walking through. Working for a pro-hero’s agency often meant that the hallways would be bustling with activity, but you found yourself enjoying the brief moment of serenity between eleven and noon. 

“Bakugou! I saw you were in that new All Might documentary bro!” That was of course until pro-hero Red Riot’s voice suddenly echoed through the lobby. You perked your head up and watched both him and Ground Zero begin making their way towards the elevators, “How does it feel being a movie star?”

Bakugou grunted in immediate response, elbowing Kirishima in his ribs to push him out of his personal space, “It was just an interview, you idiot.”  

The files in the ash-blonde’s grip intrigued you, knowing exactly where he had planned on dropping them off, your desk. Of course, rather than gently lay them on your desk, he allows the documents to drop unceremoniously onto the hardwood, scattering all within your vicinity. Your jaw unhinged at the sheer audacity of him. 

“Hey! You could have just handed them to me!” Your voice carried throughout the third floor; this had been nothing new between the two of you though. He always seemed to find new ways to get under your skin, whether that involved referring to you as his shitty secretary or casually dropping scattered reports onto your desk. He always saunted off towards the elevators with an arrogant smirk painted on his lips while you could practically feel the steam releasing out of your eardrums.

Bakugou Katsuki was one of the most chauvinistic heroes you had ever met, let alone worked for, but you couldn’t deny the way your heart palpitated just a bit harder when he was around. Snapping you out of your train of thought, the phone placed near your computer began to obnoxiously rattle, reminding you to finally take your lunch. Before you retreated from your desk, you made sure to jot down on a sticky note to look further into the documentary the two of them had been speaking of minutes earlier... 

 ・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・

Y/N [Today at 19:34 PM]

Hey, did you see that new All Might documentary that came out? 

 NumberOneHero [Today at 20:19 PM]

Why the fuck are you messaging me…

Yes, I did.

 Y/N [Today at 20:21 PM]

Honestly, that’s a good question 🤔 I’ll just find someone else from the server to ask, peace out.

 NumberOneHero [Today at 20:22 PM]

Dramatic much? The film was fine, I enjoyed it. 

 Y/N [Today at 20:23 PM]

I liked it too! I really thought it was cool to get an insight from a few of his old students when he taught at Yuuei, especially those who are popular pro-heroes today.

 NumberOneHero [Today at 20:23 PM]

Oh yeah? You got a favorite?

 Y/N [Today at 20:24 PM]

Deku’s pretty neat! He’s got a lot of potential…

 NumberOneHero [Today at 20:24 PM]

Give me more reasons to dislike you, why don’t you.

 Y/N [Today at 20:24 PM]

But- hey I wasn’t finished!

 NumberOneHero [Today at 20:25 PM]

Why the fuck did you send the message then?

 Y/N [Today at 20:25 PM]

Are you like some strange 40-year old man who doesn’t understand texting? 

Sometimes people send

Multiple

Messages

To

Talk

Grandpa

 NumberOneHero [Today at 20:26 PM]

I’m 24 dumbass. 

 Y/N [Today at 20:27 PM]

ANYWAYS, I was going to bring up Ground Zero that despite being an asshole, I appreciate his brutal honesty. 

 NumberOneHero [Today at 20:27 PM]

Oh? 

 Y/N [Today at 20:27 PM]

Yeah, I can’t deny he’s got a pretty face to look at, but that attitude 🤢

Are you a big fan of him or something? Your insults sound like his 🤮

 NumberOneHero [Today at 20:41 PM]

Something like that. 

 ・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・

 If one more person attempted to push your buttons at work on this particular evening, you were nearly positive you would develop a quirk just to fling said person out the third story window. The past few weeks had been nothing short of boring, the only “excitement” being the new ways Bakugou attempted to get on your nerves whenever he could.

One would assume after six months of working for him, he would have run out of ideas or even find himself tiresome of it...Bakugou was anything but that. So when he appeared from around the corner with his pace set on reaching your desk, the audible groan that befell your lips didn’t land on deaf ears. 

“Oi, you got a problem?” He cocked one eyebrow up, muscular forearms pressed against the counter of your desk as he rested his chin on himself, “I didn’t realize you were getting paid to bitch and moan.”

You glared at the ridiculously attractive blonde opposite of you in response, “What do you want, Bakugou?” 

“I need you to bring up the villain from last week’s file, ya know, the one with the nasty squid ink quirk? Police want to look over the witness statements and phone calls we received on our end.” He explained, circling around your desk so that his large frame loomed over yours. 

With a curt nod, you began unlocking your desktop and accessing the criminal database that the agency had on hand. Your mind grew preoccupied with the task at hand, entering information into the filters in an attempt to find the files you entered in only a few days prior.

“No, dumbass, I captured the fucker on Thursday, not Friday.” His husky voice centimeters from your complexion had you nearly leaping out of your skin, the realization of just how close he was causing your face to grow warm. You rationalized it by placing blame on the body heat radiating off of him, but it was difficult to even think when he leaned over and laid his palm over yours.

He maneuvered the mouse along the screen, your breath hitched in your throat at the feeling of his large hand, fingers pressing into yours to click the buttons. In an attempt to quell the perspiration accumulating on your palms, your eyes trained on the digital screen in front of you. On the other hand, Bakugou seemed to be none the wiser, “Tch, you know there’s a much easier way to find the file, see?”

After only a few more clicks, the files were pulled up and you could feel the snicker that fell on his lips. He examined the documents, red eyes narrowed as he searched for the specific page with the witness testimonies and statements.  

“Send this to my office’s printer, would you?” His voice that crooned in your ear felt like velvet and for a moment you questioned if he was aware of his actions and just the effect they had on you and your frazzled brain.

All at once, Bakugou leaned back and began making his way back to his own office, shouting about how the papers better be out of the goddamn printer by the time he opened his door. You managed to do as asked, retreating to the bathroom moments later to splash freezing cold water over your face. 

The rational side of you wanted to punch his cocky demeanor square in the jaw, but another part of you, one that you attempted to hide, desired to silence his snarky comments with your lips pressed to his. Why must he have such an effect on you? 

 ・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・

 NumberOneHero [Today at 23:01 PM]

Oi, did you die or something?

 NumberOneHero [Today at 23:11 PM]

Answer, idiot. I can clearly see you’re online.

 Y/N [Today at 23:12 PM]

Ok but why do you care 💀

 NumberOneHero [Today at 23:14 PM]

I don’t, but people on the server have been wondering where you’ve been. 

 Y/N [Today at 23:17 PM]

Oh I didn’t mean to worry them omg 😭 I’ve just felt bad because for a while it was just you and I bickering,, so I didn’t want to bring anymore negativity to what’s supposed to be a server honoring All Might. 

 NumberOneHero [Today at 23:19 PM]

Well they miss your shitty puns and stupid fun facts and I’m sick of having to read their bitching, so get back on already. 

 Y/N [Today at 23:20 PM]

Yeah, okay...thanks...I guess you’re not as much of an asshole as you try to portray 🤪

 NumberOneHero [Today at 23:20 PM]

That face is disgusting.

 Y/N [Today at 23:21 PM]

🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

 NumberOneHero [Today at 23:21 PM]

Why did I even bother wasting my life messaging you?

 Y/N [Today at 23:22 PM]

That’s your problem, buddy. 

So, tell me more about you.

 NumberOneHero [Today at 23:23 PM]

Why do you give a shit?

 Y/N [Today at 23:24 PM]

I mean, it’d be nice to know I’m not talking to a 50-year old man who’s going to try and solicit me for sex. 

 NumberOneHero [Today at 23:24 PM]

You’re delusional.

 Y/N [Today at 23:25 PM]

No, I’m just cautious, thank you. You said you’re 24 right? Me too!

 NumberOneHero [Today at 23:25 PM]

Cool.

 Y/N [Today at 23:25 PM]

What’s your name? 

 NumberOneHero [Today at 23:26 PM]

I’m not fucking telling you.

 Y/N [Today at 23:27 PM]

Fine, dickhead suits you better anyways 🤷

 NumberOneHero [Today at 23:28 PM]

Fuck you.

 NumberOneHero [Today at 23:41 PM]

You can call me K, I guess.

 ・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・

 When you arrived nearly a half an hour late into work the next morning, you were anxiously awaiting for Bakugou to tear you apart with his foul mouth and harsh glare. Instead, you were notified by one of his sidekicks that he would be coming in closer to lunchtime, off running some early morning patrols. 

This gave you ample opportunity to take a small nap at your desk when the telephone remained silent, lack of sleep catching up to you as your forehead met the hardwood desk. You had spent a majority of the night talking with K and surprisingly he wasn’t as unpleasant once you broke past the initial barrier of crass and attitude. 

He explained how he had been one of All Might’s students when he was in High School, recounting numerous memories between him and the former Number One Hero. You were so fascinated by it all, awestruck in the wonderful stories he had to share about the man you and your family had looked up to for decades. Although you don’t regret losing sleep when it was the price to pay to hear more about All Might, your body punished you nonetheless with dreary eyes and a slight headache.

Just as you began to fall asleep yet again, the phone at your side began to ring with Bakugou’s specific ringer. You could hardly manage out a single syllable as you pressed your fingertip against the speaker button, “Hm?”  

“Wake up and come to my office, shitty woman.” He hung up abruptly, refusing to give you the option to retaliate with a harsh comment of your own. 

Your body felt heavy as you trudged down the long and narrow hallway towards his office. The double doors remained shut, allowing you to appear sluggish in stature without him making a rude remark about it. Once you reached the dark wooden doors, you straightened up and stepped through the threshold. 

“What took you so long-” Bakugou began to raise his voice, but was promptly interrupted when his mouth parted wide on its own accord, releasing a rather vocal yawn. He turned towards the row of glass windows overlooking the city, hand clasped over his lips.  

Outside of your control, you reciprocated and yawned just as loud as he had. It seemed like the pro-hero hadn’t gotten much sleep either, from what you assumed to be work-related...or even something more personal. 

“Are you fucking listening?” You were snapped out of your daze by Bakugou’s explosive tone, his body now shuffling towards you until he was within arm’s reach, “Tch, did you actually fall asleep at your desk?”

Shaking your head, you hoped he would believe you, “No, why would you even think-”

“You got some drool on your face, Princess.” The sudden nickname had your stomach doing somersaults, but it was when he reached out a hand to cradle the side of your cheek that had your breath growing shallow. 

Your eyes studied his expression as he swiped away at the drool on the corner of your lip with the pad of his thumb. His own half-lidded pair transitioned his focus onto your chin, pulling your jaw down with light force so that your mouth parted wider. 

Every atom of your being screamed for him to kiss you, to slant his lips over yours and claim you as his after all these months of bickering, but the two of you were promptly broken out of your spell when he received a phone call. 

“Shit...” Bakugou shuffled over to his desk to snatch his cell phone that laid on top of a stack of folders, “You see these reports? They’re pretty old but they need to be entered in the system, finish it before you leave the office today.”

With that, he left his office spewing insults into the phone that had been harshly pressed to his ear. Your fingers reached up to your complexion, digits pressing into the skin of your bottom lip at the thought of kissing him. Bakugou’s intentions were shrouded in mystery, one you still were unable to solve. 

“Whatever.” You sighed to yourself, rounding his massive desk to grab the tall stack of files.

When you managed to gather them in your arms, you promptly took notice of the framed trading card they had been hiding in their wake. Layered with tempered glass was one of the limited edition All Might cards that you remembered once begging your parents for as a mere child. 

One could have gotten lost watching the myriad of colors reflect off of the holographic card, but the tall stack of documentation in your grasp was starting to grow heavy. You made a mental note to ask Bakugou about the card when you got the chance, curious as to how he was able to obtain such a rare card from so many years ago. 

 ・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・

 Y/N [Today at 22:10 PM]

Attachment: 1 Image

Look! My All Might figurine from the Silver Age came in!

 NumberOneHero [Today at 22:12 PM]

Looks cheap and fake.

 Y/N [Today at 22:13 PM]

Okay, rude. 😤 It’s limited edition and I have the paperwork to prove it’s real.

 NumberOneHero [Today at 22:20 PM]

I got a question for you.

 Y/N [Today at 22:21 PM]

Okay? Spill.

 NumberOneHero [Today at 22:22 PM]

Since I’m assuming you’re telling the truth when you say you’re a woman, how do you ask one out?

 Y/N [Today at 22:22 PM]

Huh? You got a crush or something?

 NumberOneHero [Today at 22:23 PM]

Something like that, I’ve never been into shitty romance before.

 Y/N [Today at 22:24 PM]

Omg! Have you ever kissed anyone?

 NumberOneHero [Today at 22:25 PM]

Listen, I’ve done a lot of shit, but I’ve never fucking asked someone out for the actual purpose of a date before. 

 Y/N [Today at 22:25 PM]

I don’t know if that’s sad or adorable?

 NumberOneHero [Today at 22:27 PM]

Fuck off, forget it.

 Y/N [Today at 22:28 PM]

Sorry! Sorry okay well who’s the woman? How do you know her?

 NumberOneHero [Today at 22:30 PM]

She’s worked at my office for a year.

Maybe longer.

It doesn’t fucking matter, how do I ask her out? 

 Y/N [Today at 22:31 PM]

Oh! That’s easy, ask her if she’d like to get dinner with you after work then! 🥰

 NumberOneHero [Today at 22:31 PM]

There’s nothing else I need to do?

 Y/N [Today at 22:32 PM]

I mean, you could buy flowers if you’re really trying to make her swoon.

Make sure she’s not allergic to any first, or that date won’t be happening.

 NumberOneHero [Today at 22:32 PM]

How the fuck would I know if she’s allergic?

 Y/N [Today at 22:33 PM]

I don’t know bud, ask? Ask someone she knows?

 NumberOneHero [Today at 22:33 PM]

Fuck, whatever, fine, thanks. 

I’m not your ‘bud’. 

 Y/N [Today at 22:35 PM]

Whatever you say, good luck!

 NumberOneHero [Today at 22:40 PM]

By the way.

Your shitty fake figurine will never beat the Limited Edition card I own.

Attachment: 1 Image

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・

 You had never dreaded coming into work more than you did on this particular morning. It was only last night, after two months of speaking to the enigma that was NumberOneHero, did you discover that he was none other than Bakugou Katsuki. The man you had been bantering with for months within both the server and the direct messages was the man you worked for, but also the man you foolishly developed feelings for. 

Just the thought of having to witness him with a bouquet of flowers intended for someone else made your heart sink within your chest. You hadn’t worked for him for a year, let alone longer, so your mind grew plagued with doubt the longer you sat on this revelation. 

When a photo came in on your phone from the ‘mysterious stranger’, the last thing you expected to see was the familiar framework that kept Bakugou’s All Might card intact. The color of the desk matched, along with the brand of monitor that sat next to the frame.

You couldn’t stop staring at the messages, re-reading through old conversations realizing that everything he said and did reflected himself and you were so stupid not to realize sooner. The most mortifying thing for you was the fact you had admitted that you were attracted to him, even if he had no idea it was actually you. 

The sound of loud footsteps against the tiled flooring snapped your attention to the one man you didn’t want to see today, his clothing a stark contrast to his usual attire. He had sent his sidekicks out to run patrols and aid with arrests today, stating that he needed to stay in the office to handle paperwork. 

“Do you know how to tie a tie, woman?” Bakugou's voice grumbled out to you, his fingers curled around the loose fabric in his grasp.

You nodded slowly, standing from your chair to reach where he stood, “Yeah, kind of.”

“Kind of?” He snorted, button nose scrunched up in amusement, “What the shit does that mean, you either do or you don’t, dumbass.”

“Give me the damn tie.” You grumbled, snatching it from his hand as you began to set it for him. Much to your surprise, his lips remained pressed against one another as he watched you adjust the knot.

When you had finished, you glanced up at the ash-blonde only to gasp at the proximity of his face to yours while he expressed his gratitude, “Thanks.”

Before you could allow your heart to sink deeper into your infatuation, you rushed out of the lobby with speed that neither of you anticipated. You needed to get away from him, from these feelings that burdened your chest, so you slipped away into the restroom to escape his presence. 

Bakugou attempted to call out your name, eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement as he tried to understand your sudden distress. As he began to follow your previous footsteps, he noticed your phone had slipped from your pocket and was now laid face down against the cold tiles. 

The last thing Bakugou expected to witness on your phone as the screen illuminated with messages was his online alias glowing back at him. 

 ・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・

 NumberOneHero [Yesterday at 22:45 PM]

Listen, I don’t do this often but I wanted to genuinely say thank you.

 NumberOneHero [Yesterday at 22:49 PM]

You might be a thorn in my side, but I’ve come to enjoy talking to you or whatever.

 NumberOneHero [Yesterday at 22:54 PM]

Yeah, that’s it.

 ・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・☆・・・・

 Being called into Bakugou’s office was nothing new, but the trepidation you felt when his piercing gaze met yours had your entire figure growing cold. He suddenly appeared more intimidating, with the way he stood tall while leaning against the edge of his custom crafted desk. In his grasp was your two week’s notice, your eyes focused on the trail of smoke that rose from the paper. 

“When did you know it was me?” He cut straight to the point, haphazardly throwing the letter in the direction of his trash, “How did you know it was me?”

It now made sense why your phone had suddenly appeared on your desk after you swore to yourself that it had been in your pocket. 

Your mouth grew dry the closer he drew himself to you, red eyes drinking in your appearance, “You sent the photo of the All Might card that’s on your desk, I recognized it.” 

Bakugou hummed in acknowledgment, “Why didn’t you fucking say anything?!” 

“Why? Isn’t it obvious why I wouldn’t say anything?” Your breathing grew harsher at the overwhelming emotions flowing through you, deciding now than ever that you were going to make an absolute fool of yourself before exiting this agency forever.

“No, it’s not.” He snapped back, arms crossed over his chest, “Care to fucking explain?” 

All at once the dam you had built around yourself was cracked at the heart, drowning you in your pent up feelings, “I gave you advice on how to ask someone out, Bakugou, I don’t want to watch you use it on some other woman-”

“Why not?” His voice altered drastically from only moments prior, as if he was choking over his own tongue.

The way his fiery irises held your gaze had you unable to move, as much as you wanted to retreat from his office only to never step foot in it again you found your feet glued to the floor beneath you. 

“Because I have feelings for you idiot-” Not another word, syllable, nor breath escaped past your lips before Bakugou’s lips suddenly crashed to yours. His large palms cradled your complexion as he poured every bit of emotion he could muster into kissing you senseless.

After the initial shock had come and gone, you tossed all caution to the wind and returned his affection, arms locked around his neck as his mouth slanted over yours. Kissing Bakugou was nothing like you had anticipated; his lips were soft, hands careful as he slid them over your neck, down your figure until fingers eventually curled at your hips. 

He made an effort to tease you in the process, a gasp passing your lips when his hand squeezed at your waist. This allowed him the opportunity to slide his tongue against yours, leaving no corner of your mouth untouched by him. 

Your hand blazed up to lace your fingers in his ash-blonde locks, pulling harshly in hopes of eliciting a reaction. It did of course, a low groan reverberating from his chest as he began to force you towards the opposite side of his office.   

“Good, because for some fucking reason I can’t get you out of my head either.” He breathed out against your lips the moment the back of your thighs met the edge of his desk, “I’ve wanted you for months, idiot.” 

You leaped up onto the hardwood, legs dangled over the edge as he shoved himself between your parted legs almost immediately, “Bakugou…” 

“I have a meeting in fifteen minutes-” He suddenly groaned at the reminder as his head bowed, the quiet notification promptly alerting him from his desktop. 

When he brought his attention back to you, he nearly lost the ability to breathe at the needy look in your eyes, and the next few words that you spoke, “Show me what you can do in that time, then.”

The airy laugh that escaped his throat was one of disbelief, but it quickly melted into a quiet moan when he suddenly felt your hand cup his hardening cock through his work pants. You smirked victoriously as you pressed the heel of your palm further against his growing erection. 

“Fuckin’ tease.” Bakugou snarled as he finally swatted your hand away from him, instead opting to slide your body further off of the desk so that he could press himself perfectly against your dampening leggings. 

He ground his cock against your heat, a small whine falling from your lips before he brought his own back onto yours and swallowed every noise that you emitted with great enthusiasm. This wasn’t the most ideal situation; Bakugou wanted to ask you out properly, he wanted to take it slow and build the anticipation through every little date. 

Despite that, he refused to deny himself the satisfaction of witnessing you in such a state of debauchery for the first time. He ghosted his lips over your jaw, trailing his mouth towards the expanse of your neck while you desperately pulled his top out of his pants. Your cool fingertips glided along the skin beneath his dress shirt, goosebumps suddenly rising along the back of his neck. 

Button by button you undid the black top, sliding it down his broad shoulders and thick biceps once the last one was out of place. Bakugou’s teeth pressed harsher into your neck, leaving multiple love bites along your jugular in his wake.

“We’re running out of time.” You gasped, clumsily fondling with yet another button, this time the one located on his work bottoms. 

Bakugou groaned as you used your heel-clad feet to fully slide his pants down his thighs, his cock sprung free the moment his briefs followed suit. The sight of his thick cock had you nearly salivating already, disappointed you wouldn’t get the opportunity yet to wrap the head drooling with precum around your tongue. 

“Now who’s wasting time, just staring at my cock like that?” He dug his nails into the fabric of your leggings, tearing them apart where the seam met halfway. Your cunt was glistening from just how wet you were already, his eyes rolling at the realization you hadn’t been wearing panties, “Tch, you expected to get fucked today, dirty girl?”

You mewled at the nickname before realizing just what he had asked, “Oh, all my panties are in the wash...so…” 

Only you could get Bakugou to let out a genuine chuckle as he leaned over to dip two thick fingers between your sopping wet folds, his nose just barely brushed up against yours. 

“I really fucking hate to make this quick…” His teeth met his bottom lip, plunging his fingers inside of you as he wasted no time in scissoring them against your tight walls, “...but I’m gonna make it up to you, baby.” 

You cried out at both the name and the feeling of him stretching you out with just his fingers alone, your pussy more than ready to handle him with how wet you were. He pulled out of you, making a quick show of lapping up your juices with his tongue twirling around his digits. 

“Next time I’m gonna get a taste of that sweet cunt with my head buried between those thighs,” Bakugou exclaimed, adjusting himself so that he could begin to tease you with the head of his cock. 

He wrapped his hand around his girth, slowly easing himself past your folds as his lips met yours yet again in yet another fleeting kiss. Your mind was whirling at just how quickly things had changed, one moment you were ready to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been between you two, to feeling his cock stretch out your walls so deliciously as he sheathed himself inside of you.

“Fuck, your pussy feels like heaven.” Bakugou’s own resolve was already wavering as your walls were so constricting around him, greedily taking every inch with fevered enthusiasm. Your limbs locked themselves to his frame, arms chained at his neck and legs locked at his waist once his balls rested against you.

You dug your heels into his back, urging him to move, “Fuck me already, Katsuki.”

The use of his given name without even asking sparked something inside of him, his hips rolling back only to start pounding into you with reckless abandon. His balls slapped against you with every thrust, his cock stroking your walls while he smirked at the sudden change in your demeanor.

Your tongue lolled past your lips, eyes staring at him pleadingly, “Oh, fuck-”

“That’s it, Princess.” Bakugou sneered, nails digging into the plush of your thighs as he studied your every expression, “You feel that? You feel my fat cock stretching out your slutty little hole?”

Nodding, you began to rut your hips up in hopes of meeting him with every thrust, but he had enough of you misunderstanding who’s actually in charge. He used one hand to still your movements, making sure to keep up with his own before using the other hand to grip harshly at your throat. 

You let out a sharp breath of air before it was snatched from your lungs, Bakugou’s red eyes watching with utter amusement as he used his strong fingers to choke you. The way he forced his dominating power onto you had your cunt squeezing his cock in a vice grip. 

The feeling within your lower abdomen tightened every time the throbbing head of his cock met that spongy wall inside of you. Of course, it wasn’t enough and Bakugou was perceptive enough to notice. 

Releasing your hip, he smirked proudly at the way you remained submissive to him, his fingers reaching for your sensitive clit as he began rubbing quick, tight circles against you. He let go of your throat just long enough for you to gasp for air, taking it from you yet again when he knew you wouldn’t go unconscious on him.

“Shit, baby, I’m so close…” His fingers only moved quicker on your engorged bud, refusing to allow himself to cum until you fell apart first, “You gonna cum for me first right? Fuck I want to watch you cum around my cock, come on, be a good girl, fucking cum-”

The guttural cry that managed to slip past your constricted throat was loud enough you both knew he’d have to come up with some excuse for the noise, your pussy clenching down on him as you came all over his cock and custom hardwood desk. With the feeling of you so tight around his length, paired with the sight of your eyes crossed and drool trailing down your chin, Bakugou came as well, releasing a husky groan past gritted teeth.

He pumped hot ropes of thick cum inside of you, hips stuttering and muscles relaxing as he nearly collapsed onto your blissed out figure. You were able to breathe properly once more when he released his hold on your throat, small red indents from his quirk slightly setting off evident on your skin.

“Hey, how am I supposed to leave this office with my leggings torn to shreds?” Were the first words spoken between the two of you, a small giggle passing your lips at the way Bakugou groaned into where his face buried itself into your clothed breasts.

He finally stood up and checked the time, cursing to himself at how he was at least ten minutes late to this meeting, “Stay here, I’ll figure something out when I get back.”

You watched him quickly redress himself, nearly tumbling onto the floor as he shimmied his way back into his pants. Meanwhile, cum was slowly dripping past your folds as you sat bare-assed on his desk. 

“But I have to go back to work too!” 

“Nah, you’re fired.” Bakugou smirked, now fully dressed and running his fingers through his disheveled ash-blonde locks, “I want to date you properly, dumbass, the whole secretary thing will cause problems. Besides, I can get you a job with one of the extras I went to school with.” 

You let out a breath you hadn’t even noticed you were holding, “Fine, Bakugou, only because you got it all figured out already.”

“It’s Katsuki, you had no problem using it earlier to rile me up, you fuckin’ tease.” He pinched at your waist, amused at the way you leaped up in surprise before pressing multiple pecks to your lips. 

After promising to take you out to dinner once his meeting was over, he kissed you one more time before he left the room and you to your own devices. When you began to scour his office in search of spare clothing, you could hear the voice of Kirishima from outside Bakugou’s office door.

“Seriously, dude?! Everyone could hear you, good luck explaining that to the other pros who heard your secretary screaming from the lobby.”

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

the wolf should’ve been afraid of me.

Titans 3.04

just under the wire! ... i hope.

like with the previous review, i’m typing this up as i see the episode. here we go!

spoilers ahead.

1. ... well. that was an interesting cold open.

1.25. i don’t know whether to admire this show’s restraint when it comes to gotham and its excesses, particularly arkham asylum. it’d be easy to go hammer and tongs, like suicide squad (2016) did, or any number of bat media did, at a tropey, colourful~~insanity~~ that can be quite damaging, casting mental illness in strangeness and criminality. it definitely shows gotham as... separate from the rest of the country, its own ecosystem of heroes and villains, a sort of rogue state. 

but that ecosystem is still human, with its heroes needing to clip parts of themselves away just to survive, growing old and needing to be recycled, its villains languishing in the same kinds of systems that fail everybody else who needs to be helped. it’s a quieter, tenser sort of wrongness: not strange enough that you can dissociate, but not close enough that you can completely empathise. gotham is its own creature.

1.5. i know that the reasoning behind this is more doylist than anything, but i’m so glad that joker was killed off with little fanfare right at the start of the season. he is the one man in the batverse that’s transcended its confines as this sort of ethereal boogeyman/eternal edgelord and to justify his presence in the series would mean giving him this tired, overblown importance and too much of a stab at colourful, tropey “madness” in this otherwise-subdued series. i wish all batmedia would follow suit and get rid of this fucker.

1.75. so jason is bucking scarecrow’s control! or reminding him of who exactly holds all the cards right now. circling back to what i talked about in the last review, it’s remarkable just how little time it’s been since jason’s “death” and he’s already got ‘minions’ and elaborately set up plans to track, break and kill the titans. just how long has he been planning this? when did he first look at WE weapons prototypes and think that’s something i can use to blow somebody up? and the most unsettling question: did he plan his own death at the hands of the joker just so that he could break batman?

at this point it’s obvious that the scarecrow at least started jason down this path, but it’s frightening just how far he’s travelled already.

1.8. aaagh, less than one minute in! i’ll shut up. 

2. conner washing his hands at the sink reminds me that he was directly in the line of explosion when hank got blown up and he’s probably got atomised hank-bits all over his skin that he’s desperately trying to wash off.

... you’re welcome.

2.25. conner, don’t you speak to gar fucking logan like that, sir, no!

2.3. if anything it’s the lex part of him that gave him the knowhow to recognise the weapon and build a de-activator for it. 

anyway, for that ‘half-breed’ and ‘talking tiger’ comment?

(i wish, tho, that we actually see conner more interested in the superman part of his legacy, like maybe listening to stories from gar, or even better, dick, so we get a better idea of the pressure he’s feeling to live up to that part of him and not the part that’s lex.)

((i talked about conner’s stages of moral development in his introductory episode last season, but i wonder if the next stage of his self-actualisation would be to further integrate the parts of himself and realise that they are only parts and he, conner, is an entirely different person unto himself that can make decisions on how to use what he has and what he knows. his superman abilities can be used to destroy. his lex knowledge can be used to save.))

3. oh dawn :((

3.25. is this the last we see of dawn and hank? i mean, we know donna is coming back; would it be a stretch to think they’ll try to have a go at resurrecting hank as well?

3.5. “deathstroke didn’t make us into killers.” good, because deathstroke didn’t make jason a killer either. there’s a missing step there you need to be looking for, dick. 

3.75. dick did try to break the cycle, step away from gotham, run from the possibility that he could turn into batman. it didn’t help; he couldn’t fully withdraw from his vigilante persona the same time he loathed it, and batman literally haunted him both asleep and awake. but maybe gotham doesn’t have to turn anybody into anything. maybe gotham has nothing to do with it at all. it’s about taking responsibility, realising some sacrifices are pure bullshit, and building an actual family instead of merely a team.

anyway: hugs!

(oh, also? mr “i hate flying”? i mean, there’s perfectly valid reasons to hate flying that’s not related to childhood trauma, but then again, this guy was literally a ‘flying grayson’ once. also also, remember that he also gets sea-sick. must’ve a lot of fun stories to tell.)

4. ooh that gar/kory confrontation was brief but cool!

listen, i have never seen a psychiatrist with that extravagant an office and SIR I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW--

4.5. kory’s so unused to reaching out for help and it’s breaking my heart that HPG likely is some kind of impostor that’s maybe causing her symptoms in the first place. 

kory and dick have mostly been apart this season but it’s remarkable how their journeys have paralleled each other; kory processes her grief, isolation and existential dread into a determination to take care of this new family she has, no matter what it takes; dick does much the same, forging ahead with plans and solutions until he has no fuel left in him and spirals into a massive breakdown.

4.25. listen titans this really is a TERRIBLE continuity error. we aren’t goldfish; we can clearly remember that two minutes ago it was gar’s upper arm that was burned, not his forearm. COME ON.

“sensory deprivation tank” *SNORT*

anyway, gar is the BEST

4.5. i wonder where these visions of experimentation took place. was it on tamaran, or on earth, after she came to hunt down rachel/trigon and before she lost all her memories? is HPG a part of the scientist group that experimented on her? ... god, i hope not. i mean, i think he is, but it would be cool to have some positive therapist representation in media. 

5. you’d think the van transporting a dangerous supervillain that only batman could catch would be more secure but... i’m also not entirely surprised. 

5.15. i love dick gives ZERO shits about hiding himself or even ensuring scarecrow is adequately contained. just turns away after kidnapping him in BROAD DAYLIGHT and says ‘let’s go’. I LOVE THIS DUMBASS

6. lmao gar is having a really really shitty day SOMEONE GIVE THIS MAN A BREAK or just a goddamn story arc of his own

6.5. i’m really confused about the timeline here. so... sometime ago, kory came down to earth to hunt down trigon, yeah? at some further point down the line she and her sister were kidnapped and experimented on. THEN she somehow escapes but... loses her memory? a few months pass and then we see blackfire alive and well and free; she kills faddei, can impersonate other people, and is clearly seeking out kory. but now she’s still in the experiment facility...? what’s going on?

i’m not entirely surprised about the facility being mostly deserted. either the biggest investors in this project gave up on it and it was left to the most fanatic to carry on, or they were deliberately trying to lure kory and get her to free blackfire--expand the environs of the experiment, so to speak.

7. hopefully barbara is going to get something to do other than listen to various men give her Attitude

8. how do you terrorise a terrorist? well:

i love when dick is a scary-competent motherfucker.

8.25. ooooh, the attack on crane at arkham a ploy to get crane to blackgate? nice one dick, i didn’t even think of that. but why though? to protect crane from the titans? to intercept the van to blackgate and “rescue” him? seems likely--red hood was there, except dick got to crane quicker.

9. still reeeallly unclear about the komand’r situation. was komand’r captured after s2? is this all A TRAP?? if so, why are you stepping into the only thing that can contain you, kory????

9.25. so... definite parallels between dick/jason and kory/kom here. i’m just. i’m still. really confused. i’ll shut up now.

10. this may be my favourite dick look yet:

woodsman!dick in a beanie.

10.5. i unironically love how titans has made this bizarrely-devoted-to-his-moniker, toxin-spewing supervillain into a tamer version of hannibal, psychoanalysing his victims into submission. it’s of a piece with how inward looking titans is, the way all of its villains are obsessed with how our protagonists’ minds work, to the point where they would actually spend time inside of them. 

there are no big plots to end the world. no apocalypses or endgames here. these villains collect the titans’ insecurities like infinity stones. the way the titans defeat them is by achieving character growth--literally winning by the power of love. literally “the real superpower is the friends we made along the way”!

10.7. anyway, i’m betting dick is used to this bullshit from crane and is humouring him in the service of getting more information. the story about the wolf? an implicit threat, not to mention dick getting to control what crane knows about him and what methods he would use to manipulate him.

am i giving dick too much credit here? i don’t think so. he’s really impressed me so far this season.

10.75. like. there’s a real unreliable narrator vibe coming off with every person that talks about bruce (much like how the various members of the titans talked about jason’s motivations) and to buy into crane’s talk about bruce being a psychopath is to fall for the same manipulation that jason fell for. dick is the only person who hasn’t really psychoanalysed bruce this season, and i think some part of his detective brain is piecing things together into a bigger picture.

11. i’m glad kory rescued kom but did she have to kill the scientist?

(i mean, yeah, probably - the less people know that kom escaped the less likely they’re going to have the fucking govt on their doorstep, but still.)

11.5. dick’s gonna come back to wayne manor, stare straight at komand’r and go, well which room would you like? because the team might as well adopt ANOTHER person, yeah?

12. oh MAN that red hood/nightwing fight was AMAZING! and he did the thing! the boomerang escrima thing! i’m so delighted!

12.5. the anger and disbelief in dick’s voice when he says you told crane EVERYTHING?! tells me that he knew exactly what he was telling crane himself.

12.75. “everything you are is because of him” - oh that reminds me of halluci!bruce from last season. i hope we see halluci!bruce again--he is so vicious but so entertaining... so much more effective at tearing dick down than crane or jason combined. goes to show that dick’s biggest enemy is own fucking head.

12.8. oh no! dick’s shot! crane is in the wind with red hood! blackfire is now with the titans! i love it!

honestly this season’s pacing is such a big step up from the last couple. gold star, show.

[magioftheseas]

The Capital Magical Defense Force

For @oumota-events

DAY 1: Magical Boys AU

Rating: T​+

Warnings: Violence, blood, death mentioned, darker implications. Yeah it’s one of those magical au. The daaaaark subversions.

Notes: This is the longest one because we’re starting off with a big bang~ It’s not that long though. It’s just not a ficlet unlike the others. I did really enjoy writing this though. It’s a pretty...fun...au. Yeah. Haha.

Ao3 Link

In just about every world, there are unseen forces to make sure a system works a certain way. That the cogs in the machine turn without fail and that any disturbances are dealt with promptly. These unseen forces can be mundane and dull—but they can also be fantastical...while still incredibly dull.

In this instance, there are two worlds. The dull, mundane one and the dull, fantastical one. The only way to transverse is through contracts between the respective denizens, and it turns out that said contracts are necessary to keep everything in order.

There are benefits, truly. If one world collapses, the other is taken with it. It is within everyone’s best interest that the denizens work together—even if certain manipulations need to be made. After all, the greater good is such a vague and nebulous concept. It’s more encouraging to offer personal gains.

Like, for example, keeping someone alive, be it from sickness or the aftereffects of a horrible, terrible, despairing accident. The desire to live is a powerful force shared among many, both dim-witted and intelligent. It’s an efficient deal to make, especially when the other side of the exchange is not only responsibilities, but special, magical abilities to deal with those responsibilities.

Shame, then, that one particular being blessed with those abilities, those responsibilities, that gift of survival...doesn’t seem to fully appreciate it. Certain arrangements have been made. That being has been assigned to the same areas as another being of a similar caliber, but far more keen to do what must be done.

This is as much an experiment as it is an effort to keep matters under control. Observations are to be as follows...

--

“In the name of the stars, I’m gonna kick your fucking ass!!”

The town hero known as Starboy was being filmed again. Floating about, sending so-called comet punch after comet punch. The monster squealed under the abuse, but it didn’t squeal as much as that fucking eyesore that tailed the magical boy around as he cursed colorfully under his breath.

“This jackass just doesn’t know when to quit!”

“S-Starboy-kun,” the thing whimpered. “Please watch your language! Kids idolize you!”

“Sorry!” Starboy exclaimed, focusing more on the fight thankfully. “It’s just—let me protect the city first!!”

With a battle cry, Starboy summoned all his strength for a starstorm, pummeling the monster more and more until it fizzled out of existence. Starboy was left slumped on the ground and gasping for breath, but still found it in him to whoop for joy.

Unfortunately for him, that moment of victory was short-lived.

“Geeeez, Starboy-chan, I thought you’d really get trampled this time! You didn’t even need any help!” Another magical boy landed on the scene, right next to where the monster had once been and plucking up the fragment which was all that remained.

“H-Hey!” Starboy shouted, more like wheezed. “What the hell—that’s not yours to take!”

“It’s payment for making me worry so much,” he cackled. “You really should be more careful! You don’t want to be killed in the line of duty, now do you?”

Weakened as he was from the fight, dodging Starboy lurching towards him was child’s play.

“D-Dice!!” that eyesore shrieked. “You and Starboy-kun should be working together! Why are you doing this?!”

Dice gave that thing a cold stare, but grinned in Starboy’s direction.

“Because I like you. That’s a lie. I like messing with you. Also a lie! I really—love you, Starboy-chan!”

“Quit messing around!” Starboy gasped. “Y-You—if you need those damn fragments, you don’t have to steal them! You’re a magical boy, aren’t ya?! You should be helping me defend the city! And then I’d split them with ya even!”

Aah. This guy...

“Oh Starboy-chan, I actually, truthfully loathe you,” Dice sighed.

“D-Dice!” the thing shrieked and without looking, Dice had fired a beam that knocked the pitifully contemptible creature out, much to Starboy’s dismay.

“S-SHIROKUMA...!”

Before he could go to help, however, Dice had seized the bow of his uniform, yanking him to not-quite eye level.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’d stop bothering with that thing and join me instead.”

Starboy only scowled.

“Why the hell would I join you when you act like a villain! I-If I could, I’d beat your ass too...!”

Such a remark gets Dice shoving him back, knocking him onto the ground. Starboy glared up at him defiantly, his stare only darkening as Dice grinned.

“It’s a joke, obviously!” he chirped. “After all—what sort of desperate loser would want to ally with an idiot like you?”

Starboy shouted at him, but whatever he shouted, he was already long gone. Starboy shouted again but, being the justice-obsessed type, he switched gears to muster up the strength to go stumbling after the fainted Shirokuma. Scooping the pitiful bear head-looking creature into his hands, Starboy avoided the incoming paparazzi and gracious civilians and rushed off to safety.

The ideal worker. Starboy will be a great boon of energy in the future once his limit is reached.

--

“Dice is such a fucking dick,” Kaito grumbles, rubbing ointment onto his bruises. “We’re both working for the same thing but for no reason at all, he’s self-serving and a piece of shit.”

He observes himself in the mirror, rubbing at the circles under his eyes. He’s been going at this whole magical boy hero thing for almost a year. It’s getting harder and harder, but for the sake of the city, he can’t give up. He’s its protector, after all.

Still, it’s getting difficult. His wastebasket is filled with bloodied tissue and bandages. Shirokuma, at least, is currently resting in a bucket of warm water. Dice’s attack had been as sudden as it was vicious, and for what?

“Why is he such a dick?” Kaito asks, but Shirokuma hums.

“Some people...are just bad. It can’t be helped. I’m sorry if that sounds despairing, Momota-kun.”

“Bad, huh.”

It’s not the first time he’s gotten that answer. When he describes Dice to his sidekicks, he more or less gets the same response. Harumaki even goes out of her way to call Dice a supervillain, which Shuuichi agrees to, but...

Here’s a secret that no one else knows. The crack in the foundation so painstakingly paved for black and white heroism.

Dice has saved his life more than once. When blood rushed up his throat and his knees buckled in, Dice would swoop in and let him save face. It would be passed off as Dice once again taking advantage of the situation...but it always, always happens when Kaito is facing death head-on.

Dice is a dick. A self-serving piece of shit. Possibly a supervillain.

He’s also definitely looking out for Starboy. It’s happened too consistently for Kaito to be convinced it’s unintentional.

If Dice insists on helping him, then surely he can’t be a bad person...except he still acts like a bad person most of the time.

What a headache.

“Feeling better, Momota-kun?” Shirokuma chirps up at him in that big sweet voice that Kaito can’t say no to, even when he probably should.

“Never better!”

A thumps-up. A wide grin. Doing his damnedest to pretend like his lungs don’t want to collapse in on themselves.

--

“Starboy-chan is such a fucking idiot.”

Ouma slams his chest of fragments shut. He still hasn’t figured out what the damn things do, but Shirokuma insists on collecting them so they must be important in some sense. Sure, Shirokuma says that it’s something to do with negative energy and restoring balance, blah, blah, blah—but Shirokuma is a piece of shit liar. And Ouma hates liars.

But he thinks he hates Starboy the most. Or, at least, he finds Starboy to be the most frustrating dumbass in the galaxy.

Because it’s obvious, isn’t it? It’s obvious that Shirokuma is shady as all get out. It’s obvious that there is something deeply wrong with the magical boy system. There have been so many disappearances and it’s suspicious as all get out how Starboy in particular is being worked to the bone and pushed to the brink.

There’s something seriously wrong with all of it.

Ouma just needs to figure out what before everything goes wrong.

--

To become a magical boy, one needs resolve. To encourage magical boys, a wish is often granted to sweeten—and seal the deal. Ouma’s was a cowardly, stupid wish that he’s still kicking himself for to this day, although in hindsight he should be glad it was so simple. The worthless wish to live as everyone else was dead around him.

He’s still haunted by their faces. He should’ve wished for them but couldn’t. He was targeted and tricked, and now he’s stuck. But the least he can do is make everything difficult for those monsters along the way.

Starboy—aka Momota Kaito...well. Ouma doesn’t know what his wish was, but he suspects it’s as stupidly noble and short-sighted as he’s come to expect.

Oh, yes, he knows that Starboy is Momota Kaito. Who wouldn’t know that? They look the same—although Ouma suspects that magic is at play since no civilians have made the connection. Not even Saihara Shuuichi, a would-be detective.

It’s clear, however, that Saihara-chan has noticed the effects.

“This is the fourth time you’ve had to clear your throat, Momota-kun.”

Momota clears his throat again. He musters up a laugh.

“It’s just been dry. No big deal. You worry too much.”

“Gooooooodness, Momota-kun!” Ouma crowed, skipping in. “Are you dying?! Please, please don’t die! I haven’t even gotten to tell you how much I love you!”

Momota recoils when Ouma jumps on him. Saihara shrieks in surprise but Momota only growls as he tries to shake the brat off.

“Let—GO!”

Ouma does, but not without jabbing the back of Momota’s knee and causing him to topple over. Saihara rushes to steady him, shooting Ouma quite the ugly look. Ouma shrugs that off.

“Whatever it is you’re doing is killing you,” he merely states. “So, you should stop lest you traumatize my poor Saihara-chan.”

“I...” Saihara swallowed, looking like he’d hate to agree but when it came to Momota... “You shouldn’t overwork yourself, Momota-kun.”

“I’m fine,” Momota slurred. “Totally fine. I’m a goddamn Luminary, Shuuichi...” He says he’s fine while learning into Saihara. It’s a bright sunny day. People are no doubt stealing glances, and Momota no doubt has to hide his exhausted face in his sidekick’s shoulder. It’s a good thing Harukawa isn’t here.

Ouma scoffed. Saihara shot him another glare.

“If you’re just here to mess with Momota-kun, you can leave.”

Saihara’s hands tighten on Momota. Goodness, it really is like Ouma is the supervillain tormenting the tired hero.

How boring.

Ouma turns heel, smiling as he waves them off.

I shouldn’t bother. I shouldn’t have to bother.

--

No matter how many times he’s thought that, he ends up in this situation. With Starboy exhausted on the ground and a fragment pinched so firmly between his fingers that it’s this close to embedding itself in the skin. Shirokuma floats around Starboy.

“He’s getting close,” Shirokuma is saying. “He won’t be able to take much more. How despairing. So despairing.”

Ou—Dice swats the thing to the ground. It giggles up at him.

“You can’t save him, you weren’t able to save your other friends. Just give up, Dice-kun. Give into despair.”

It’s laughing, its laughter resounding even as Dice stomps the thing to bits. It’ll just reshape itself and find Momota again. No matter what he does, he can’t get rid of it. It’s part of a damn hivemind after all.

Sighing, Dice goes to Starboy once again, and Starboy is lying there almost prone. Looking painfully pale. His breathing is shallow. At least he’s still alive.

But for how much longer? And what am I even doing wasting my time with this idiot? No matter what I tell him or how bad he gets, he refuses to back down and Shirokuma just eggs him on.

He gets down, rolling Starboy onto his back. Starboy groans and for a moment, he blearily comes to.

“Di...ce... You...again...” There’s a couple of missing words. It’s clearly difficult for Starboy to speak. He groans, eyes screwing shut. When Dice helps him sit up, he coughs and there’s a thin stream of blood that trickles down his chin. “U-Urgh...hurts bad.”

“Well, yeah. You don’t take breaks, idiot.” Ouma tutted him. “Some of the monsters you take are mooks. You shouldn’t waste your time.”

“S-Shuuut,” Starboy slurs. He coughs again. “I’m...s’posed to be...a hero. A-A... Luminary.”

It’s because of shit like this that made it was so easy for Ouma to find Momota in the first place.

And Starboy—fucking laughs.

“Even through that stupid mask of yours, I can tell you’re disproving.” He musters up a bit more strength to speak, for all the good that’s doing him. “You’re really worried, huh?”

“I don’t trust Shirokuma,” Dice said simply. “You shouldn’t either.”

Starboy swallows. No doubt swallows back blood. He sucks in his breath. He shakes. He tries to shake his head specifically. Ends up slumping against him. Dice isn’t as gentle with him as Saihara was, but Dice still has little choice but to help him up.

“Stay with me,” Dice ordered. “You’re not allowed to die.”

He’s wasting his breath. Starboy’s definitely going to die at this rate even if it’s not today. All because—

“I’m a hero,” Starboy is slurring. “Heroes don’t—take breaks...they don’t leave people to die.”

“You’re not a hero,” Dice snapped. One step at a time. “You’re just an idiot.”

“It’s not...not about trust...” Starboy huffs at him next. “Not that...you’d understand that... Ouma.”

Dice doesn’t pause. Far from it.

...idiot.

Ouma Kokichi wonders if it’s a coincidence that he and Momota ended up in this situation together.

...

That’s right. Momota Kaito is going to bring you down. The hero! The Luminary! Won’t that be the Ultimate Despair?

(That’s how she would respond.)

Ouma Kokichi, always so close and yet so far, can’t focus on that right now. He has to save the life of a dying man after all. The results are sure to be favorable.

And yet, also so very—predictable.

Boring.

[silkylious]

Tsunami (Bakugo Katsuki x Fem!Reader)

Bakugo x fem reader

warnings: swearing, angst, fluff

A/N: Ahhhh this is my first post on tumblr, i hope you like some bittersweet  goodness w angry boi. constructive criticism is much appreciated!

Love.

Such a complex, convoluted emotion that many people find themselves falling helplessly victim to. Of course, there are the cheesy scenes in romantic movies that exaggerate and almost drain all meaning from the prickly feeling; sharing a sweet kiss while basking in the cool caresses of dewdrops, or having a dim-lit home dinner -scenes which drove his gag reflex reeling, he simply couldn’t understand the appeal of mushing faces with someone when he had better things to do, to achieve. He was going to be the number one, dammit, he didn’t have time to waste on cuddling and doing “couple-y shit” with some extra. That’s not to say he’d never had a crush, or found some girls attractive, hot even, but he kept in mind all his “crushes” (he loathes that word with a burning passion) were merely fueled by his hormonal mind, driven by pure sexual attraction. Nothing more, nothing less. So, he never sought out relationships.

And that was enough for him to keep his peace, unhindered and undisturbed on his desolate little boat, one that he was rowing tirelessly towards his end goal, with no waves and no turbulences daring to stand in his way of firmly grasping that number one spot.  

Until a tsunami came crashing in, pummeling him off his safe cruise.

That tsunami was you.

He really should have seen the signs -no that’s not right, he definitely noticed the red flags raising in his peripherals, he should have acknowledged them. It started out as small, barely existent ripples, something to break the monotony of his journey and rock his boat gently. You’d always greet him with that stupidly bright smile, the one that made him feel uncomfortable, skittish (though he hadn’t realized why yet), the one that surely made the sun writhe in boiling jealousy. No matter what time of the day it was, how early in the morning or how deep into the night, you always seemed to make it a point to address him with that unhinged, cheeky grin. He’d reply with a curt nod, or a faint grunt if you caught him on a good day, wanting desperately to ignore the brewing sensation inside him.

“Hey, Bakugo! Did ya sleep well?”

He never replied to the tedious question, refusing to give into the one-sided small talk. That didn’t stop you from resuming your daily routine of pestering him about his training progress or babbling about some movie he couldn’t care less about. He didn’t pay an inkling of attention to the stream of word vomit pouring out of your mouth, no, he much rather zoned in on the way your lips move languidly, still upholding that infuriating smile, the way stray follicles fell over your neck, having escaped from the usual updo you were sporting. His concentration faded in and out of the single-sided conversation, managing to scrap together bits and pieces of whatever you were droning on about. Though he never made any effort in reciprocating your enthusiasm, he never shut you down either (like he would most people), and that was incentive enough for you to keep coming back. To keep talking his ear off with a cluelessly precious smile.

Looking back, he probably should have stopped it there, but he didn’t, he couldn’t help but revel unconsciously in your optimism, though he’d be buried six feet underground before he admitted that. It looked all too peaceful, he didn’t mind the soft stir in his boat, and he was more than content to leave it at that. But then you had to go and push your luck.

You were infinitely aware that he treated you… differently, to say the least, your classmates were also painfully conscious of his strangely tamed and, dare I say, docile way he acted around you, everyone with eyes could see it, except him apparently. Even if he was agonizingly oblivious to his own feelings, yours too, your heart couldn’t help but accelerate whenever he displayed a rare act of kindness towards you. One time in particular, he scolded you for overworking yourself while tending to your wounds, his words lacking the usual bite, none the wiser to the chest palpitations he was effortlessly causing. You couldn’t take it, you had to test your luck. You desired to be closer to him, for him to view as more than a nuisance, you wanted to be more than just acquaintances. With caution thrown to the wind, you embarked on a mission to befriend the Bakugo Katsuki.

That’s when the small ripples that would gingerly sway him turned more rigorous; they evolved into waves, ones he needed to smoothly ride if he didn’t want to fall victim to their ferocity.

He became much more aware of your stature in his lifestyle, how could he not? You’d made it a goal to sit with him during lunch, to share with him your bento box, to talk to him at any given moment. And it was then that he discovered a new part of you, one that was hidden behind your tactful persona. It became a common spectacle during lunch, you two hurling remarks at each other, yours more calculated and sarcastic while his were loud and fiery (in true Bakugo fashion), though the competitive grin stretching his lips, wrinkling the corners of his ruby hues gave away his enjoyment. Bakugo could never get over your quick wit, the speed at which you replied to him with your own quips almost gave him whiplash every time, if he didn’t know better he’d think you were regurgitating pre-written comebacks. It took a bit of coaxing at first, but eventually he gave into your petty bickering (all you had to do was mention Deku this and half-n-half bastard that), and then before he knew it, it was part of his routine, but can you blame him? He was presented with a challenge, of course he’d step up to the plate!

Your waves threatened his quaint, little sail, he had to learn to surf them if he didn’t want to topple over. And so, he did, after all, Bakugo Katsuki never backed down from a challenge.

Your comradery only strengthened from there. You trained together, him pushing your limits with his abysmal power and sheer instinct, you pushing his with precise movements and surprising agility. You strangely complemented each other, both in fighting styles and general attitude. He (aggressively) helped you with your academic shortcomings, and though his methods of teaching were very questionable, they proved to be fruitful as your grades had spiked significantly from his (torturous) aid. You’d grown impossibly closer, spending every waking moment together or thinking about each other. Katsuki didn’t know when it became a habit to anticipate your “goodnight” text, or when just the sight of your face made his anger practically dissipate into thin air.

“So, do you wanna come over to study, I’m kinda struggling with algebra,” You sighed sheepishly, scratching at the back of your head.

“No.” came the blunt response.

“Aw, c’mon, don’t be such a meanie!” You jutted your bottom lip out much like how a kid throwing a tantrum would, his eyes couldn’t help but flicker down to the childish pout, when suddenly it turned into a poorly constrained grin. You had an idea. “Well, whatever, I was gonna order takeout from a new place down the road, I heard they have pretty spicy ramen there, but I guess I’ll order for one,”

You watched with mild amusement and well-concealed affection as his fiery eyes seemed to light up at the mention of spicy food. “Fine, dumbass, but I’m only doing this ‘cuz your sorry ass would fail without me,”

“Mhmm, sure thing, Bakugo,” You practically sang, a teasing lilt to your voice.

Bakugo.

That didn’t sound right at this point. Words left him before his brain could even process what he said, what he was insinuating.

“Katsuki.” He mumbled firmly. Your eyes widened a fraction, giving away your surprise.

“W-What?”

“Call me Katsuki,” It came out more assuredly this time, his glare directed forward as you both walked to your destination, missing the soft smile adorning your lips and the affection oozing out of your gaze.

“Sure thing, Katsuki.” His own lips curled into a faint smile, a tiny tug at the corners of his lips.

A push-and-pull rhythm was created between you; your waves pulling him in, only for his skillful hands and sails to conquer them. It was an endless tug of war, neither of you seemed to mind it, it blanketed you both in a sheen of serenity.

The calm before the storm.

It was merely an innocent question, a teasing inquiry at most, directed at him by his electric blonde friend. “So, man, when are you gonna ask (last name) out? Y’know if you don’t ask her soon, someone else will,”

Katsuki could have sworn he switched quirks with the dunce faced idiot, because at that moment his mind fully short-circuited. Him? And (name)? What would even give him that idea? Sure, she was cute and all -wait, cute?? What the actual fuck? His lack of response and the pinkish tint that spread from his cheekbones to the bridge of his nose seemed to get a rise out of Kaminari, because within seconds his head was thrown back, his laughter catching the attention of their red-haired friend. “Yo, man, what’re you laughing at?”

With that, Bakugo seemed to snap out of his trance, sharp eyes snapping between his self-proclaimed friends. His mouth opened, ready to deliver a curt response, something along the lines of “Fucking nothing!” or “Mind your own business, Shitty Hair!” but the other blonde beat him to the punch, loudly bellowing out,

“Bakugo has a crush on (last name)!”

Bakugo wasn’t pleased to say the least, his hand darting out, flexing a lethal explosion that Kaminari barely dodged. Bakugo’s eyes were wide with unadulterated rage, though he really couldn’t tell at who, nor did he care, he was seeing red at that moment and that’s all he could focus on. Before he can aim another strike towards his cowering friend, Kirishima looped his arms around Bakugo’s shoulders, activating his quirk to prepare for the barrage of oncoming explosions that were sure to come his way. “Dude, stop! You’re being super unmanly right now!”

Realizing there’s no point struggling against his friends hold, Bakugo’s figure suddenly slackened, Kirishima very cautiously relinquishing his grip on his friend. Burning rage, confusion, uncertainty and self-deprecation began to settle in Bakugo’s mind all at once, a million questions stampeding his thoughts. He didn’t like that, he hated not being in control, he hated not knowing what was wrong, especially with himself. With a furious shout of “FUCK OFF!” to dispel some of the anger bristling within him, the ash blonde stomped out of the nearly empty classroom, leaving his two friends to share looks of bewilderment.

And that’s when a tidal wave, a tsunami of emotions quaked his lonely ship, flipping it and hurling him off the deck into the freezing cold, wave riddled ocean, leaving him to sink deeper and flail around in a futile attempt at staying afloat.

The coming days, one thing haunted Katsuki like the plague, despite trying his hardest to avoid overthinking, you just seemed to carve your way into his subconscious. Everything reminded him of you, and he absolutely despised it. When had he gotten so distracted? When had his schedule morphed to make room for your presence in his life? When had he began to await seeing you, hearing your obnoxiously sweet voice? When had he gotten so weak? He didn’t need anyone, no one but himself, that’s all he needed to reach the top. If that was true, then why were his days getting more and more bleak as he actively shunned you out, avoided looking you in the eyes and subsequently being blissfully unaware of the look of hurt in your eyes. He knew he wasn’t being fair to you, but he couldn’t help it, he had to put some distance between you.

And so, he kept struggling against the currents, which only made him sink deeper, and deeper. Even so, he kept wrestling with the tides, hoping he’d make it out alive and free.

His absence in your life made you fidgety, but you brushed it off as him having a less than pleasant day, he’d surely go back to normal, right? Wrong. Things continued as they are, you wanted to give him space and all, but it didn’t help that it seemed he was only circumventing you. You wanted to be patient for him, and you were. But even the most patient of people, the most peaceful of saints, had their tipping points.

“I don’t understand you, Katsuki, we were good not even a week ago and now you’re completely avoiding me!”

“So what if I was, huh?! Are you saying that I need you or some shit?! Are you looking down on me, thinking you’re all high and mighty, that you could be the one to befriend the “pitiful lonely guy”?! Are you saying I’m weak, is that it, huh?! I’m not fucking weak, (name), I don’t need you or anyone for that matter, stop tryna coddle me, I don’t need your shitty friendship!”

Ouch, that hurt. He knew he was spouting so much bullshit straight through his teeth, it didn’t even make sense but that was how his self-defense mechanism works. When in doubt, push people you love away in fear of vulnerability. He knew he was being a major asshole, but nothing would’ve prepared him for the look of unbridled hurt and betrayal in your eyes, tears silently carving valleys on your flushed cheeks. Your quivering lip suppressed a wretched sob, before opening to utter a few heartbroken words.

“I see. Sorry I was such a nuisance for you, Bakugo,”

Bakugo, double ouch. That one stung. Hard. He’d never heard your voice so broken, so raw and meek. He walked home alone that day, already regretting everything he said, already missing your bubbly self.

A drift shook both of you away from each other. Your concerned classmates could only watch in silenced misery as you both hurdled yourselves into hero work and training, doing anything it takes to stay distracted. Bakugo thought that at least there would be one upside to arise from this situation, he could focus more on his dreams, he had more time than ever, he can totally utilize this to his advantage. Or so he thought. You infiltrated every crevice in his mind, all he could think about, day in and day out, was you. He’s always prided himself in being self-disciplined and focused, but right now he was anything but. You weren’t fairing any better. Your optimism was missed in the classroom, you forced a smile to reassure your friends, but that was about all you could muster. It seemed there was no end to the spiral the pair of you were sucked into until something happened. Something big happened.

He was kidnapped. Bakugo was kidnapped.

It seemed like a wake-up call to both of you. You could have lost him; he could have lost you. Bakugo realized, strapped to that chair, with the grey-haired, handy man holding a picture of you from the sports festival while babbling some vague threats, that he wanted to protect you, protect what he loved. He loved you. And he had to be better for you. He also realized that he wanted to go back to you. Dammit, he still didn’t apologize for what he said! He needed to return.

He no longer fought against the tide, he didn’t want to, and he wasn’t going to. And with his fruitless squirming against the current coming to an end, he began to rise to the surface, the gradually heating waters holding him afloat.

His return was a giant relief, you wanted to jump into his arms the moment he was saved, but you knew better. He needed time to think, to sort out his thoughts. Though you didn’t expect that he would sort out his thoughts with his fists. With Midoriya. Actually, scratch that, it was a very Bakugo thing to do.

That night you couldn’t sleep, sitting on the U.A. dorms Alliance stairs with a steaming mug of tea between your clutches. Your eyes, which had been transfixed on the constellations lining the night sky, blinked downward when you heard two pairs of footfalls approaching. You instantly recognized the two boys, beaten and battered.

“(name)...?”

His abnormally scratchy voice greeted you, you didn’t have to strain your ears to conclude that he’d been crying. Your stares were riddled with unspoken words, unvoiced feelings, leaving a pregnant tension in the air. A haggard throat-clearing cut through the quiet.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” And with that, the one-for-all user excused himself into the dormitory.

Katsuki shifted his weight, clearly uncomfortable. He knew what he needed to say he just couldn’t find the will to swallow the lump in his throat and say it.

“Hey, umm-”

Before he can get another syllable out, a force collided with him, shaky arms circling his broad shoulders, mindful of the bruises that littered his porcelain skin. Eyes blown wide; he couldn’t fathom the words that were uttered into his chest.

“I love you, Katsuki. I love you.” A sniff followed the heartfelt words, he felt some tears brimming his own lids.

Carefully bringing his arms around you, wrapping them securely around your waist. Katsuki drifted and swayed on your waves, surfing them skillfully, fully abandoning his past ways, no longer would he scuffle with the ebb and flow of the waters that only hoped of propelling him forward towards his goal. His red gems drifted to the sky, mapping out the stars much like a lost sailor would in search of guidance, though he was anything but lost in that very moment.

His lids dropped, thoroughly fatigued from the day’s events, before his head followed suit, descending and placing feather-like kiss on your head, his strong arms keeping you nestled as close as possible against his chest, a quiet murmur with powerful words left his lips,

“I love you, too. I’m sorry.”