#Because this is a really important moment in Light and L's relationship

[longagoitwastuesday]

I am liking Jujutsu Kaisen, way more than I imagined I would, but I foresee it will let me down and it's keeping me from enjoying this as much as I could haha

I think the characters and dynamics are well set, and I think many of them have an incredibly good and deep potential, but I would be willing to bet they'll not get a proper development, enough for them to really hit. A well assembled set of gears is not enough to make the movement go, you have to wind the clockwork.

I think Gojo and Megumi have a fascinating and very complex dynamic, but I doubt it will be given the time and care that imo it needs to actually work. And it is going well enough for now! One could see the intimacy between them was deeper than the one Gojo had with, say, Yuji and Nobara ever since the very first few episodes despite the fact Fushiguro too was a first year. But the pieces forming what they have are extremely complex, and it just wouldn't be realistic if it doesn't show, even if in a not showing way, or if it doesn't have consequences or implications.

It's one of those dynamics that shape one's life, the way one regards the world, the way one establishes or not relationships with other people. It's one of those dynamics that could be full of fondness, gratitude, resentment, admiration, trust, and that imply intimacy, the good kind or the bad, even if in just the knowledge of someone who's been a constant through your life. It could, and would, imply a myriad of feelings, and probably in such a mix it could imply contradictory feelings too. Even the nothingness would weight, even the nothingness would be significant and meaningful.

Gojo took Megumi and his sister under his wing, the son of a man who murdered him, because of both selfish and selfless reasons. Megumi looks like Toji. What does Gojo feel about this? How does Gojo deal with this? How does Gojo go about taking care of Megumi? Would he walk him to school? Make him breakfast? Celebrate his birthdays making him blow candles? Did he take him to the zoo? Does the relationship between them feel professional or is it something more? Gojo appreciates his students, but is Megumi to him just another student? When Gojo faces Sukuna in Megumi's body, did he see the kid he raised, or does he just see Sukuna in one of his students' body? Did he have one faint wavering instant? And how does Megumi feel about this? Is he resentful of him? Resentful of the situation? Of the selfishness behind his actions? Does he feel like a pawn? Is he grateful? Does he resent feeling grateful? Would he rather not? Does he love Gojo? Does he feel nothing about him other than what he could feel about a teacher that sort of annoys him but knows he's reliable in his strength? Does he think it unfair, cruel or unfeeling that Gojo is close, closer perhaps, with Yuuji or Yuta, considering their story? When Sukuna slices Gojo in two, does the remnants of Megumi's soul tremble?

And not just Megumi and Gojo. Yuuji and Nanami, Gojo and Nanami, Yuuji and Fushiguro, Nobara and the boys, or Nobara and Maki, Todo and Yuuji or Yuta, Gojo and Yuta, Megumi and his sister. Gojo and Geto, even! If the pieces are well set, the dynamics are intriguing, interesting, and have potential to be deep, but then the characters have like two plot relevant scenes that punch you hard, but little more, it's not nearly enough. Especially not nearly enough for the enormity that is shonen dynamics and situations. And the potential existing at all, and then not delivering, makes it all the more frustrating when you're left with something mediocre that could have been so good.

The development of dynamics through not only a few plot relevant gut wrenching moving scenes, but also the smallness of life, is important. The friend who recommended this to me said that those things were just unnecessary filler, but I disagree. I think there's a big difference between a large amount of anime-only filler episodes whose existence is based on the fact they had run out of manga chapters to animate, and moments of quietness. The low stakes character-driven moments of quietness can be so telling and so insightful, and they are so satisfactory when brought back later in higher stakes situations. My friend teased me there was no scene of Gojo making breakfast to Megumi, that it would be an idiotic idea, but it would be so telling. How he makes breakfast, what they eat, if he tries hard or if it's all mechanised, if they have personal bowls or if they use whatever, if he just buys them some pastry on the way to school, if the way they have breakfast changes through the years, or if he doesn't make them breakfast at all! All that would be very insightful on their dynamic and its evolution. All that would give a glimpse on how they regard each other and why, even in the present. All that could become meaningful in tense situations and high stakes scenes.

These moments also let the plot breath; if a lot is happening all the time, if every character is always experiencing trauma after trauma, the entire story is so emotionally draining that at some point you don't even care all that much. Besides, these nothing moments or low stakes plot arcs, besides deepening and developing dynamics, also let some in-world time pass, which would make the intimacy and bond between characters more believable imo; between Yuuji eating Sukuna's finger and their last confrontation in December how much time has passed? A few months? Am I truly to believe these characters are so everything to each other in only a few months?

Without some smallness, some repetition, some daily life, some low stakes not plot-centric development, the dynamics don't hit, they don't truly feel fleshed out, and dynamics as complex as the ones Megumi and Gojo have, or as supposedly meaningful as the one Megumi has with Yuuji or his sister, should be fleshed out if they're going to exist at all. Otherwise they'd risk making the writing feel awkward and fake. Besides, if the dynamics felt well fleshed out and realistic, they would shape the way the characters interact and act, and how they deal with situations, thus being plot relevant.

The shonen genre has so much happening all the time, the stakes are so high, the dynamics are so rooted in big events and the relationships carry enormous weight and implications. Yet they barely get developed, and it feels so stupid, so plain, the absence of something so important noticeable like a constant void, a shapeless nothingness present in every scene. It makes the characters feel like cardboard figures. Jujutsu Kaisen is already getting a better job than many, but I doubt it will do enough for what I've heard, and I fear I am bound to feel let down, and bound to feel unmoved.

After all, if not enough time and care has been given to develop a dynamic, I am not going to feel pressured by the high stakes; if not enough time and care has been given to develop the dynamic between Megumi and Yuuji, as good potential as it has I am bound to feel little for this last confrontation between Sukuna and Itadori, and his effort in getting Megumi back.

[narumi-gens]

The L Word

Miya Osamu x f!Reader

summary: Love makes people stupid. Osamu knows it firsthand.

warnings: minors/ageless/blank blogs dni, established relationship, love confessions, fluff with a teeny hint of angst, happy ending, small miscommunication bc Osamu is an idiot but it gets cleared up, Atsumu to the rescue, Osamu being the dumber Miya twin for a change, Osamu really goes through it in this fic but it's all okay bc you love him

notes: literally wrote this entire thing today bc Osamu just does something to me. this takes place earlier on in the Meet the Miyas couple's relationship and you don't have to read the other fics to get this one, but I sure would like you to.

words: 3.6k

part of the Meet the Miyas series

Osamu’s date with you was meant to be a quick dinner. If he was thinking more clearly, he wouldn’t have suggested seeing each other that night at all. It’s been a hectic week for the both of you and he knows that you have to catch an early morning train for a meeting out of town the next day. 

But he can’t think clearly when it comes to you. Because he loves you. He doesn’t know when exactly it happened, but he knows it was probably after only a couple of dates, which he also knows is crazy. 

Again, he can never think clearly when it comes to you.

It means that he’s spent the last few months in a love-induced haze of happiness as your budding relationship has progressed. It’s even been enough to dull the irritation he would normally feel at how smug Atsumu has been about being the one to set the two of you up in the first place.

Of course, none of that is on his mind now. The only thing he can currently think about is how much he doesn't want your evening together to end. 

It’s a desire of his that you’re more than willing to indulge in as your time at the restaurant stretches on long past dessert. When he offers to walk you home even though you live in opposite directions, you don’t even bother to give a perfunctory protest. You merely nod with a wide grin, happily accepting the arm he wraps around your shoulders as you curl into his side. 

And what began as a sweet kiss goodnight outside of your building is now bordering on something inappropriate for a public setting, even on an empty street. 

Your soft lips move against his and his tongue slips into your mouth to taste you. One of your hands rests against his neck, while the other runs through his hair, making him shiver at the sensation of your fingernails gently running against his scalp. Both of his are tightly holding onto your waist, holding you as close as he possibly can so that the only thing separating you two is the clothing you both are wearing. 

“Come upstairs,” you breathe as he begins to trail his lips from yours to the spot just below your ear that always has your knees feeling weak whenever he lavishes it with attention. 

Unfortunately, Osamu has just enough of his sanity left to know what the responsible choice is.

“Ya need to sleep,” he murmurs against your skin before pressing an open-mouthed kiss to your neck that makes you sharply inhale. “Yer meeting tomorrow is important. Gotta be well rested.”

“So thoughtful,” you tease as you guide his lips back to yours to give him another heated kiss, only to pause for air a moment later. “I promise. No funny business. We can just sleep.”

He can’t hold back his snort at your suggestion or his laugh when you pout at his reaction. He rests his forehead against yours, looking at you with a fond smile on his shining and slightly swollen lips. 

“We never ‘just sleep’ when I come up,” he reminds you and your pout deepens.

“But I don’t want to say goodbye yet,” you tell him, and damn if his heart doesn’t ache with how full of love it is for you.

“Okay. We don’t have to say goodbye,” he agrees and your expression lights up. However, it falls as he continues to speak. “We’ll just say goodnight instead.”

“Osamu,” you whine and he presses a soft kiss to your lips before you can say anything else.

“Goodnight,” he says.

When you open your mouth again, he gives you another smiling kiss.

“Goodnight.”

You open your mouth again, a smile of your own tugging at your lips, which he kisses again.

He loves you. 

“Goodnight.”

You playfully open your mouth as you pretend to say something. He kisses you.

He loves you.

“Goodnight.”

Another attempt on your part to protest. Another kiss to silence you.

He loves you.

“Goodnight.”

Your mouth opens. He gives you a kiss. 

He loves you.

“I love you.”

He freezes, but not because he’s accidentally spoken the words that have been on his mind these past months. 

It’s because the words don’t come out in his voice. They come out in yours.  

His eyes snap open to find you gazing up at him with a small hint of nervousness, but otherwise nothing but pure affection and fondness and love. It’s everything he’s been dreaming of — literally. He has literally been dreaming about this exact scenario.

But in his dreams, he gently murmurs that he loves you in return and softly runs his thumb along the apple of your cheek. The two of you then kiss beneath the first soft snowflakes of winter or the floating spring cherry blossoms or a drizzle of summer rain.

Reality is much worse. Because in his shock and disbelief, all he can do is open and close his mouth, struggling to put all of his joy and excitement and love in return into words. And the longer the silence stretches on, the touch of hesitation that was initially present on your face slowly begins to morph into sheer horror.

Your embarrassment is visible at his lack of a response and when you force out a small, self-conscious laugh, he knows that you’re regretting ever speaking those three beautiful words aloud.

“Sorry,” you wince and a cold shard of ice pierces his heart.

No, no, no. Don’t apologize. Never apologize. Not for loving him. Not when he loves you, too. 

You clumsily try to extricate yourself from his hold and he’s too wrapped up in his own mortification over how stupid he is that he easily lets you. 

“I don’t…s-sorry!”

Your voice breaks as you stumble over your unnecessary apology and even while you refuse to meet his gaze, he can see how quickly your eyelashes are fluttering as you try to blink back the tears that he’s caused.

“Night, Osamu,” you manage to say through a soft sniffle before hurrying towards the steps of your building.

The only thing worse than the panic and anger that he’s feeling towards himself is whatever it is that you’re feeling. You opened yourself up to him, allowing yourself to be vulnerable and trusting that he would keep your heart safe.

And he was too much of an idiot to be able to offer his own heart in return. 

He just needs to get the words out. Just get the words out.

Just get the fuckin’ words out, ya big fuckin’ pussy.

Relief floods through his veins when he’s finally able to blurt your name as he calls after you. He can fix this. He can tell you that he loves you and that he was just so elated that he was physically incapable of putting any words together. 

You stop, your foot on the bottom step as you turn towards him. While your eyes are shining with tears, he can also the hope in them as you silently plead with him to continue. 

A deep breath releases from his lungs. He hasn’t ruined it yet. You’re willing to listen to him. You’ll give him a chance to make things right and prove to you that he deserves you. He’s so fucking grateful to you. 

“Thank you!”

He wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole. Maybe a car will pass by and run him over. Could he be lucky enough for a freak thunderstorm and to be struck by lightning? When nothing happens, he contemplates dropping to his knees and banging his head repeatedly against the concrete sidewalk. 

All of it would feel better than watching how quickly he’s shattered the last remaining pieces of hope that you were desperately clinging onto. You stay still just long enough for him to see your lower lip tremble before you dart up the stairs of your building.

And because of how the stupid apartment buildings in this country are designed, he gets a perfect view of you racing up the exterior staircase and then towards your apartment, pausing only to unlock the door, which then slams loudly shut behind you. The sound echoes through the quiet street, reverberating against the pavement and buildings, but also in his mind. 

Osamu takes a slow, deep breath and holds it before exhaling. He then buries his face his hands, his fingers tugging at his hair, and lets out an unintelligible scream that’s filled with a nauseating mixture of frustration and embarrassment. The noise is louder than the slamming of your door and a dog starts to bark in the distance. 

In a daze, he somehow manages to make it to his bus stop. Likewise, his phone is now somehow held up against his ear. And somehow, Atsumu’s screeching voice answers on the other end.

“Thank you?” he greets angrily and Osamu loudly groans as he slumps forward so far that his head is practically between his knees. “My best friend, the woman yer totally in love with, says she loves ya and all ya can do is thank her?”

“I was just so excited, I couldn’t think straight. I’m a fuckin’ idiot. I know, okay?” he mumbles. He hears a bus pull up to the curb but he’s too distraught to even look up and see if it’s his as he lets it pass. “She already told ya?”

“She’s on the other fuckin’ line right now, crying because of you, ya scrub,” Atsumu bites back and somehow, after everything that’s happened in the past ten minutes, Osamu manages to feel even worse. 

There’s a long pause and his guilt and mortification must be so bad that his brother can hear it through the phone because Atsumu gives a sigh of pity.

“Look, just make it right. We share the same DNA. Ya must have gotten a little bit of my ability to be romantic.” 

In any other situation, Osamu would scoff and roll his eyes. But right now, he doesn’t have the right to make fun of anyone, not even his twin. Instead, he simply nods even though Atsumu can’t see it over the call. 

“Can ya find out what time her train gets in tomorrow?” he asks pitifully. 

“Okay, sure,” the setter offers before sighing again. “I gotta go.”

“Yeah, don’t keep her waitin’.” 

He wonders if you know that it’s him Atsumu is talking to. You must. But Atsumu is a pretty good liar, much better than Osamu anyway. He’s had plenty of practice lying over every little thing under the sun since they were young. Surely, he can convince you that it was a teammate or his agent or anyone else but the man responsible for your distress.

“Same goes for you, Samu,” Atsumu warns him, but there’s at least a gentle undertone of sympathy in his voice that he probably only extends because they shared a womb.

“Thanks,” he says, feeling truly grateful to his brother in a way he hasn’t felt since he set the two of you up.

“I think ya said that enough tonight, ya scrub.” Atsumu then ends the call and Osamu’s gratitude dwindles. 

But Atsumu does come through for him, texting him the information on your train, which Osamu reacts to with a mere thumbs up, knowing that any form of thanks will have him being called a scrub for the third time that night. 

The next day, Osamu closes the shop early. It’s for the better as he keeps getting orders wrong and has to offer so many discounts in apology that if he stayed open any later, he would probably end the day at a loss. 

His mind has been so preoccupied that there’s no room left in it for onigiri. All he’s been able to think about is his plan to make it up to you. He’ll go home and change into his nicest suit. He’ll go to the florist and buy the nicest bouquet they have. He’ll stop by the bakery near your apartment on the way and order a slice of your favorite cake. 

And then you’ll come home to find him waiting for you outside of your building, where he’ll give you the speech he spent all day on. He’ll tell you how sorry he is and explain how much of an idiot he was and tell you that of course, he loves you. He’s even written down exactly what he wants to say on an order sheet from the restaurant so he doesn’t forget a word.

But apparently, the universe has decided that it wants to laugh even more at his expense. 

Everything starts smoothly. Despite not having worn it in over a year, his suit fits as perfectly as it did when he bought it. And after a quick iron, it looks like he just picked it up from the dry cleaner. When he arrives at the flower shop, the kindly older woman working there helps him make a custom bouquet filled with flowers that all represent some form of love and apology. 

It’s at the bakery where things start to go wrong. 

First, it’s so late in the afternoon that the display window is picked clean over. Your favorite cake has sold out entirely and all that’s left are a variety of croissants, donuts, and croquettes. He stupidly decides to buy a donut anyway, because although the image of him giving you a donut is much less romantic, he’s always believed that food is the best way to show you care about someone. 

Then, just as he’s finished paying and in his rush to make sure he gets to your apartment before you do, he runs right into a teenager holding a bright green melon soda, which spills all over the front of his clean, white dress shirt. The girl gasps in horror and immediately begins to apologize, repeatedly bowing as she offers him the napkins in her hand.

However, he knows it was his fault and that he can’t make another girl cry in less than 24 hours. He assures her that she wasn’t to blame and after patting his shirt dry to the best of his ability, he buys her a new drink and then helps the employee clean up the spill. He leaves the bakery with a squished donut and an obscenely green, large stain on his shirt. 

And of course, he gets one block away from the bakery when it starts to rain. It’s not the soft, romantic drizzle that he’s imagined might color such an important moment in your relationship. It’s a true downpour that has people ducking into stores and under doorways. For just a moment, he considers stopping at a konbini and buying an umbrella but he’s already drenched and when he sees how long the line is, he decides that it wouldn’t be worth it if he has to miss you. 

It’s another block away from the konbini that the bag holding the donut breaks, dropping the baked good into the gutter where it’s quickly washed away by the rainwater. As he looks at the soggy remains of the bag in his hand, he decides not to worry about it and shoves the mess into his pocket. The flowers are enough on his own.

The flowers, which he’s just now realizing aren’t in his hand and weren’t with him at the bakery. The flowers that he remembers setting down on the bench at the bus stop but doesn’t remember picking back up when he got onto the bus. 

The voice in his head is frantic as it tries to assure him that everything is fine. If you really love him then you don’t need flowers or baked goods or him in a dry, unstained suit. You’ll love him just as he is when you find him waiting to greet you after a long day.

He’s thankful that the sound of rain falling is loud enough to mask the panicked, high-pitched whine he lets out when he turns the corner onto your block to find that you’ve beaten him to your place and are already standing on the bottom step of your building’s staircase, protected from the rain as you shake the worst of the water from your dripping umbrella. 

There’s the smallest part of him that wants to just go back home and hide beneath the blankets like he used to do after losing a volleyball match. 

But then, without his consent, your name leaves his lips and his feet begin moving on their own to meet you. You freeze mid-umbrella shake and look up at him in shock, clearly not having expected him, and definitely not in this state if the way your eyes widen is anything to go by. 

Your senses come back to you quicker than his did to him last night and you open your umbrella back up and rush out to meet him, hurrying to finally protect him from the rain.

“Osamu, what are you doing? It’s pouring,” you say with a mixture of disbelief and confusion. You look him over from head to toe and frown. “Why are you so green? You look like you spilled a melon soda all over your shirt.”

It’s okay. He still has his speech. He’ll win you over with his words. Whether it was volleyball or opening his own restaurant, when has he ever given up?

Instead of answering you, he reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulls out the order slip. He’s relieved that it’s held up better than the bakery bag and vows to keep buying order pads from the same supplier for the rest of his life. 

At least until he unfolds the paper and finds that the ink he wrote in has run because of the rain that soaked through his jacket. His shoulders sag as he sighs in defeat. 

“Osamu?” you ask with a timidness he hasn’t heard from you before and it’s enough to snap him from his own wallowing. His idiocy left you in tears last night.

The flowers, the suit, the pastry, the speech, this entire big, grand gesture he was trying to make all boil down to one thing.

“I love ya,” he says and it feels so good to finally be able to say the words aloud to you for the first time. It feels like a weight has been lifted from his chest, leaving room for how big his heart has grown with all the love it holds for you. “I’m so sorry about last night. I’ve been in love with ya since, like, our third date but I knew I’d seem crazy if I said it that early. And when ya said it first, I just couldn’t believe it and I was so stupidly happy that I just couldn’t say anything.” 

Now that he’s started talking, the words won’t seem to stop. But from the way you’re looking up at him with so much warmth and affection and love, he doesn’t think you want him to.

“And then I started to panic because I couldn’t say anything, which made it harder to say anything else. So, I came up with this big plan to win ya back with flowers and cake and a big speech but literally everything went wrong.”

“Osamu,” you try to gently interrupt him, but by this point, he couldn’t hold anything in even if he wanted to.

“I forget yer flowers at the bus stop and the bakery was out of cake. Then I almost made this teenager cry so I had to make that right. And of course, this fuckin’ monsoon had to sweep in outta nowhere. And my speech got all ruined, too,” he complains, holding out the order sheet for you to see the proof. 

“Osamu,” you try again. Only he’s too wrapped up now in this bizarre, stream-of-consciousness monologue to even take in the adoring way that you’re looking at him.

“If it was gonna rain, couldn’t it at least have been a soft, romantic type of rain? But I guess nothing says romance like a flash flood warning. It’s a good thing ya live on a higher floor with how much it’s comin’ down,” he continues. “All this little love confession is missing are some warning sirens—”

“You love me?”

The question finally shuts him up. But it’s a different kind of silence than the one from last night. Because you look so utterly happy as the three words occupy the space between you. His own expression softens and he crumples up the paper in his hand before shoving it into his pocket. 

His hand now free, he tenderly cups your face and presses the softest, sweetest kiss to your lips as the rain continues to come down in sheets around you, only your small travel-size umbrella keeping you both safe. 

As his lips part from yours, he rests his forehead on yours, an almost mirror image how you two were wrapped up in each other last night. 

“Yeah, I love ya,” he whispers as he affectionately brushes his nose against yours. You smile back at him and his heart pounds with excitement at hearing you repeat the sentiment back to him. 

But then, your eyes begin to sparkle mischievously as they always do when you tease him.

“Thank you,” you say and he thinks he’s somehow managed to fall even further in love with you.  

[minswriting]

BILLY THE KID NSFW ALPHABET

A = Aftercare

Billy is okay at aftercare. I don’t think he would go all out such as baths, getting food, etc. However, after sex he would definitely be more smiley and would hold you close to him. He loves cuddling after sex and talking about anything with you.

B = Body Part

His favorite body part on himself are his hands. He works with his hands and loves to give you pleasure with his fingers. His favorite body part on you would truthfully be your hips. He is such a hip grabber and would love to pull you to him by your hips.

C = Cum

I feel like Billy is the type to cum a lot and messily. It literally explodes out of his cock, especially if he hadn’t had relief in a long time. It paints his chest, sometimes even hits himself in the face with his own cum. He loves cumming on your stomach and on your tits because it’s as though he is marking you as his.

D = Dirty Secret

He wants you to try pegging him at some point The idea of you having that sort of control over him never fails to make him hard.

E = Experience

Billy is such a ladies man!! He has a lot of experience and never fails to make his partners cum.

F = Favorite Position

Loves when you’re riding him. Save a horse, ride a cowboy, you feel me?

G = Goofy

Definitely depends on his mood but I think Billy can be silly during sex sometimes. If you’re in an established relationship, he’s more likely to be silly during sex by making cute faces or just telling a joke here and there. However, any other time, he’s serious and is in the moment.

H = Hair

He’s ungroomed and proud of it. He’s a cowboy. Grooming truthfully isn’t important when you’re an outlaw trying not to get arrested. On you, he doesn’t care either. Regardless, he’s going down on you. Lowkey think he really vibes with a bush though.

I = Intimacy

If you’re in an established relationship, he’s very intimate with sex. Especially if he has such strong feelings for you. Intimacy is a necessity for him, it’s like it’s own love language.

J = Jack Off

Truthfully, Billy doesn’t have a lot of time to jerk off so he doesn’t do it often at all. He much prefers to have you to help him with that sort of relief. He does jerk off every once in a blue moon, especially if he is unable to sleep and needs something to help with the stress and you’re not around.

K = Kink

I think Billy is very open to anything. However, i do think he has a small piss kink (more like he’s just open with his body). Billy also has a choking kink. Whether you are choking him or he’s choking you, it’s just so hot.

L = Location

He loves fucking you anywhere he can. In an alleyway, in your bedroom, in the woods. He just wants to fuck you because you’re so pretty.

M = Motivation

You. Anything about you.

N = No

I think he’s huge on no knife play. I think hurting you like that really makes him upset. He’s into a few light hearted things but never something that can give you intentional harm.

O = Oral

HE LOVES GOING DOWN ON YOU! AND HE LOVES WHEN YOU GO DOWN ON HIM. He loves 69 a lot.

P = Pace

Billy can do it really fast and hard or really slow and passionate. It really just depends on his mood and what you both are going for.

Q = Quickie

He loves quickies!! I feel like he prefers to take his time with you, making the experience last. However, he also really loves to just take you any time he has a moment to do so. So quickies are just 🥰🥰

R = Risk

He loves the idea of getting caught. Jessie being in the next room over? Billy is fucking you hard with a hand over your mouth. In an alleyway? He’s pressing you up against the wall. He would always make sure your covered if you do end up actually caught.

S = Stamina

I think Billy either has a lot of stamina or is too tired to do more than one round. He’s an outlaw and spends a lot of time outside. So his energy is divided. However, it all just depends on how he’s feeling.

T = Toys

Assuming it’s a modern universe because I cannot fathom the toys they had back then lol. Billy would love using toys on you. Vibrators, the rose, dildos, he just loves making you cum and making you squirt.

U = Unfair

Billy can be so unfair!! Some days he’s over stimulating and others he’s denying your orgasm. He just wants what’s best for the moment. But his favorite is torturing you by giving you so many orgasms.

V = Volume

I feel like Billy isn’t scared to be loud. He loves moaning and groaning in your ear. But also knows when to be quiet. He can control the sounds that escapes his mouth but he prefers not to because he wants you to know just how good you make him feel.

W = Wild Card

Billy loves fucking your face. Seeing his cock going in and out of your mouth just never fails to make him cum down your throat with your plump lips, the feeling of you gagging on his cock, the watery eyes. So hot.

X = X-Ray

Billy is about 8 inches or so

Y = Yearning

I feel like he’s the type to constantly want sex. He doesn’t always need it but if you want to fuck, he’s always 100% down. His dick will get hard so quick.

Z = ZZZ

Billy definitely falls asleep quickly after sex. It just comes with the territory.

[avelera]

Gif courtesy of @apaethy

I just finished re-watching the first season of Interview with the Vampire because in light of what's going on as of 2.6 of S2, I felt I needed to, because this moment above is driving me crazy.

Why is Armand staring straight at Daniel during Louis' declaration? And why is it that, to me, he almost seems to plead with his eyes for Daniel to get him away from Louis?

My thoughts on the matter:

Doylist reasons (aka, out of universe, production, practical reasons): this is a big reveal that "Rashid" is actually Armand. It makes sense, from that angle, as an acting choice that Armand-no-longer-Rashid would look straight at the camera so we could get a good look at him.

Thing is, it's certainly a choice.

Because I would argue the more logical choice when having one character declare the other is the love of their life is for those characters to look at each other. Even a passing glance, a faint smile, a little bit of heart eyes.

Louis just gave a pretty romantic declaration. Actually, even more haunting as of 2.6, Louis just said out loud that he loves Armand in this straightforward, unambiguous, but frighteningly passive way that he refused to do back in Paris, what Madeleine had to cajole him into saying. Now Louis drops the L word all casual, almost as a challenge, right in Daniel's face??

Daniel Molloy voice: Nuh uh, I don't buy it, not for a second.

Ok, let's get into a meta reason this is a really freakin' weird moment and scene that they chose to use as the final note of Season 1, and therefore I think it's meant to be important and, as of Season 2, I think we're seeing the crux of why it's the end of one season and the set up of the next.

Metatextual reason: Armand is not the fucking love of Louis's life in the books. He's barely a footnote, unless that footnote is labeled, "THE VAMPIRE WHO KILLED CLAUDIA". Louis and Armand's relationship, such as it was, soured immediately after her death. They didn't stick together for decades, from the text they barely stuck together a few years after that. Armand wasn't at the Interview with Daniel (but he did pick up Daniel later, when kidnapping him when Daniel went to investigate Lestat's house and look for evidence to corroborate Louis' story).

So as a book fan, I sat up in my chair and audibly shouted, "What the fuck?" at that line. Because as I'm sure anyone who has read this far knows by now, in the books Louis is not the love of Armand's life.

Daniel is the love of Armand's life.

Daniel is Armand's only fledgling, ever.

So not only is there a weird declarative quality to the almost nonsensical (to book readers) statement that Armand is the love of Louis's life-- I don't know how else to explain it except it's like having a revival of Romeo and Juliet where they didn't die and Romeo's early girlfriend Rosaline show up to say that Romeo is the love of her life in Juliet's face. Do you see what I mean? Daniel/Armand is Romeo and Juliet, Louis the temporary fling. Having Rosaline tell Juliet that Romeo is her love would give a similar level of dissonance as I got hearing Louis/Armand was a thing over and above Daniel/Armand.

So to go back to Armand's creepy eye contact here (as if he has any other kind).

Watsonian Reason (aka, in-universe, what the story is going for): We are setting up the plot that becomes much more apparent in S2: Daniel was invited to Dubai to be the wrecking ball in Louis/Armand's relationship.

Which means the big canon divergence moments from the book are:

1. Louis and Armand didn't break up right after Paris, but stayed a couple for several decades longer.

2. Regardless of whether or not the Devil's Minion happened already (or if it's going to happen later in this story), Armand didn't turn Daniel into a vampire soon after meeting him a few years post-Interview with the Vampire. That event got pushed back.

My money is on Armand and Daniel had their fling but Armand refused to turn him. It's a fairly logical canon divergence beat because Armand didn't want to turn Daniel in the books either so in this universe, he just actually followed through and did the responsible thing.

But, I think Armand pined. And pined. And pined.

Whether or not Armand is Alice turning down Daniel's proposal (I at this point disagree with the theory) or if he was just stalking Daniel closely enough to read Alice's thoughts in that moment, he clearly has been keeping tabs on Daniel.

In my opinion, Armand is finally done with the relationship with Louis.

The interview is meant to passively accomplish these things:

Remind Louis how much he loves Lestat.

Remind Louis how much he loves Claudia and by extension if/when it "slips out" just how culpable Armand actually was (as the mastermind, not a bystander) for her death, it will give Louis the impetus to finally leave.

Bring Daniel back into their life. Because whether or not he'll admit it to himself, Armand has been pining for him over Louis for a while now.

I've kind of already explored this in another post but the more I watch of S2 and re-watch of S1, the more certain I am that this is Armand's actual goal. The pining looks he keeps shooting Daniel's way, the way Daniel seems to lose his train of thought whenever he looks at Armand, the palpable tension between them...

Basically, Romeo and Juliet are getting back together soon. We just need to get Rosaline out of the picture first, and that's why Romeo is having an interview that digs up what a shitty boyfriend he was to Rosaline so that Rosaline will break up with him first so he can get back with Juliet.

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 1

Propaganda Under Cut

Misa Amane

she gets treated in-canon the way fandoms treat female characters that Threaten an m/m ship. it's like, "oh why don't you go sit in the corner and be pretty, misa, while the Men have intelligent conversation and pretend they aren't ten seconds from fucking each other, doesn't that sound nice?" it's infuriating. and MAYBE it's better now but i remember her getting treated the same way in fanfiction too, like we all need to do just as badly by our female secondary characters as fucking tsugumi ohba, but with the added insult of making her be alternately oblivious of the relationship between light and L or actively trying to sabotage it—incompetently, of course, because god forbid misa be allowed dignity or moments of cleverness.

she's one of the first characters I think of when I consider old school fandom misogyny. The annoying bitch and clingy crazy gf allegations were AFTER HER ASS. She's also a lot more intelligent than people gave her credit for, but most seem inclined to take the Very Biased word of our unreliable, narcissistic narrator and his homoerotic arch nemesis and claim that just because she's bubbly and into romance that she's also a complete moron. Which is blatantly untrue. Everyone was afraid of Misa girlbossing too hard. Killing people and devoting yourself to the deranged twink of your dreams even though you know he'll never love you back??? Having a hardcore goth aesthetic and being so Hot even literal Death Gods are into you?? God forbid women do ANYTHING!

Not only is she the victim of yaoi culture, she is the victim of early 2000s misogyny by an author that wanted to introduce a girl character because he knew his male rivals were getting too homoerotic. She is a goth bimbo icon who portrays what I think is one of the few callouts for stan culture and what parasocial relationships can do to both the stan and the idol. The fact that she is a toxic fan of Kira and also hot, funny, sociable is tragic in its own way, which I think the author did try to touch on but was too misogynistic too really get through. Of course, she was reduced to villain status by the fandom and anime alike because she got in the way of the supposed romance in their psychological horror anime.

Téa Gardener/Anzu Mazaki

She's friends with Yugi, the main protagonist, who is usually either shipped with his other self (Yami Yugi), or Yugi/Yami will be shipped with the main antagonist (Seto Kaiba). She tends to get demonised a LOT. I have read SO many stories where she is turned into this evil, scheming harpy of a woman who will get in the way of Twu Wuv. 

the fandom does her so dirty bc she's in the way of at least 3 different yaoi ships she's so amazing and underrated tho she's such a great character

Was portrayed as a bitch very often in fandom! Is very not a bitch in canon! Supportive, occasionally snarky, occasional damsel in distress, good card player in her own right (this is important in universe, trust me), and very very loyal! 

[wantingsobad]

step on me | l.mh x reader (a)

masterlist

pairing : toxic!lee minho x reader (y/n)

content : angst, incredibly toxic minho, delusional reader, horrible established relationship (DO NOT BE LIKE Y/N PLEASE)

word count : 0.9k

“oh, i think you’re holding the heart of mine

(my heart is yours)

squeeze it apart that’s fine…”

Lee Minho is your first love.

From the day you fell head over heels for him in high school to now, where you sit sobbing on the floor of your disheveled apartment bathroom, finding homage in the crumpled clothes and towels that are scattered along the cold tile flooring.

The fight was almost a week ago.

You can barely even remember what had sparked the downward spiral into screams and tears, but you do remember Minho mentioning how you “never clean and live like a slob.” Clearly, this statement pushed some buttons in you because he knows damn well that you work your ass off every day to get money to help support both of you while also taking classes for school. Yes, Minho also has a tight schedule, but the expectation that you should be cleaning instead of him shoved you over the edge.

Minho hated when you called him out for his mistakes. This was one of those times considering how he called you an “ignorant bitch” who “doesn’t deserve the time of day” as he grabbed anything he pictured to be of importance, shoving it all into a backpack. At this point, you had already been crying, upset by Minho’s reaction, as if you never expected this to be his response.

This was normal for you two. Minho would bitch about something, you would stand up for yourself, and he would leave. It was a routine at this point.

Minho had gathered his things and left the shared apartment, leaving you alone to sulk and cry for the next week.

The thing about this routine is that Minho always comes back.

Your phone now buzzes from where it is sat up on the bathroom counter. You really should not check it, but the itching hope that it’s him cannot be easily overpowered.

The screen is too bright for this dark bathroom, hurting your eyes for a moment before adjusting and reading the notification.

min min : let me back in, i left my key here before.

You practically scoff at his words, feeling completely defeated by his lack of apologies or even care for your feelings. It’s been a week and this is all he has to say?

You shuffle out of the bathroom, not really understanding why you are even giving him another chance to come back.

The door swings open and you freeze.

He looks…. okay. Not a single flaw is able to be seen in his appearance, leading anyone to think that he had no issues in his life right now. This is in wild contrast to you, who had fallen apart without Minho this last week, with his old t-shirt, boxer shorts, and a raggedy bun that sat atop your head.

You can feel the judgment in his stares as he gives your broken appearance a quick look before pushing by a little harshly to get inside of the apartment, not muttering a single word.

Just like the routine.

You knew what would come next, and some would think that you should know better. That you should know that you deserve better.

But when it comes to Minho, you really don’t know any better

A quick glance at the clock up on the wall shows that the time is 2:15 in the morning, and your body suddenly is craving a deep restful sleep.

You pad your way over into to the bedroom, unsure of where Minho went when he came inside. You come to find that he is in the bathroom that is connected to your bedroom, shower running with the overhead light seeping through the bottom of the door into the poorly-lit bedroom.

You take no time to try and change into new clothes for the night, just barely gathering up enough energy to get under the bed sheets and make yourself comfortable, or at least as comfortable as possible with the insistent pain coming from inside of you.

The shower stops and a few moments later, a freshly-washed Minho steps foot into the room, quickly looking at you before heading to the closet to pick out an easy outfit, showing that he is also heading to bed.

As you watch him rummage through the array of hanging shirts in the closet, you think about all of the pain you have dealt with by being with Minho, with the constant fighting and borderline manipulation from the man you claim to ‘love’.

What even is this ‘love’ anymore?

Does he even see this as ‘love’?

Your thoughts are interrupted by the shift of weight in the bed, redirecting your attention to Minho, who is shuffling around under the covers, leaning over the flip off the dimmed lamp that is next to the bed. Now, the room is in pure darkness and silence, leaving you feeling almost… calm?

Just knowing that he came back has brought you some peace of mind that maybe he does care about you, at least enough to make him stay home.

Minho still has not said a word, but the quick shuffle of him in bed to face your back doesn’t surprise you. You could practically predict what his next move would be.

As if it was clockwork, Minho’s arms come up to wrap around your torso, settling himself in at your backside, as if nothing had ever happened.

You think this may be why you stay. Why you put up with his tantrums.

It’s because it seems like he still cares. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t.

Clearly, he still loves you, right?

This man may have battered and broken your heart to the point of no return, but at least he attempts to put a bandaid on it for healing.

It all works out okay though, because it’s the thought that counts…

Right, guys?

a/n : ok this one was a little rough for me to think of what to write, but this song kills me everytime i listen to it so i had to share it somehow. toxic minho is such a douchebag smh. hope this is enjoyable and you all had a good day! - eb

[noroi1000]

Nyan XIV - What the hell?

Nyan Chapters List

Summary: You've been put in a strange situation...Why are they so close to some woman when they were about to explain something to you...

A/n: I was asked for a bit of drama, so here it is. Light angst.

"Good morning, I was sent by Gojo-san and Geto-san. It's my pleasure to meet with Miss (y/n) (l/n)?" The dark haired man with glasses asked as you opened the door after hearing the doorbell. 

As you might have guessed, they weren't home yet... You felt sad about that, but there was nothing you could do. You had a bit of a fight with them, didn't you? 

It was your first serious argument in your relationship... You felt bad.

But what the eyes see for a second doesn't mean it's real. 

Maybe the argument wasn't what you thought it was because you didn't see it long enough?

At first glance, everything is much worse than it really can be. 

"Yes. It's me," you said.

"Miss, please come downstairs. We have to hurry." He said with a small smile. 

You went for your phone and took what you needed.

You walked up the stairs and wondered who he was. A driver in a suit? 

So compared to who your boys hang out with, maybe this apartment is too poor?

Who the hell are they? 

The door to a shiny black car has been opened for you, and you know it's not a taxi...

It's a very clean, shiny black car that a driver in a suit invited you to sit in...

You hesitantly got into the backseat and fastened your seatbelt, looking around shyly.

How should you behave? 

Why is it all like this?

What can you expect? 

Who are they really?

Maybe they are serious businessmen who earn a fortune?

Maybe they are models or actors?

They told you not to worry after finding out. And that they will protect you.

Oh my God...

Are they from the mafia?

Is that why this car is like this? Own driver? A lot of money? 

In books, a mafioso is always handsome and young... Maybe this also applies to your situation?!

What if you get out of the car and immediately see a large villa in the suburbs and gorillas with guns to protect the boss?

Oh god, what have you gotten yourself into...

Or maybe they are murderers too?

They can fight and track! 

What if you see drugs and weapons? Or maybe dead bodies?!

What the hell is wrong with your cats?! With your boys?!

Cat mafioso??

Two cats with signet rings behind a desk and guns?!

Two cats that rule the entire mafia?!

Your imagination is running too wild now!

You looked at your phone when you saw the message you had received. 

Suguru: "When will you be there?" "Where are you already?"

You: "I don't know" "We entered some forest and we're going up" “I won't be taken to the forest and murdered, right?"

Suguru: "Of course not!" "Silly, we would never let anything happen to you." "Ijichi is a trusted assistant" "We have to do something with Satoru. We'll be alone when you arrive."

You: "What should I do?" "What's more important than finally telling me the truth?"

Suguru: "We have one person to deal with" "Believe me, you don't want to understand this woman."

Women?

They are there with a woman...?

Who they are? 

Who is this woman to them...?

If they...           

             "If I had to choose between you, I would choose the one who earns more." said the white-haired woman with a glass of dry red wine that was prepared for your dinner later.. "So who has more money?"

"Mei-san, we are busy. In a moment -" Geto started but she interrupted him.

"I'll ask her which one of you has more. Every woman should look at the thickness of wallet and the number on a man's credit card before dating.

"(y/n) is not you." Satoru laughed. 

"If she doesn't care about the money, she must have won the Jackpot by getting the two highest paid men in our profession."

The woman stood up and walked towards them in her dress, running her purple fingernail along Gojo's arm.

"She is the happiest woman possible. And we are the lucky ones who got it. And you, Mei-san, you drank all the wine and you're drunk." he laughed, looking at her from under the blindfold. 

"Small glasses aren't enough to get me drunk. Unless you pay me more." She grabbed their shoulders. "It doesn't matter which one, what matters is that he has money. And there's no shame in showing up at a bar like that."

Geto moved away.

"Mei-san... Please go now... We want to be alone with (y/n)." Geto muttered. 

Suddenly she placed her hands on both of their cheeks and looked at them with a smile. 

"You earn much more than you did at school 11 years ago. And you look much better. If every millionaire looked like you, my life would be more beautiful. But anyone with a lot of money for me will do."

She only sees money in them...

Suguru's eyes moved towards the open door and he saw you there. 

You saw all this Woman fawning over them.

When you found out it was a school, you were a little calmer.

But what you saw now was beyond the limit. 

You had doubts before. And now it all became clear.

They wanted to get rid of this woman? It looked like they were having a great time. 

A beautiful woman with white hair, lusciously painted lips and nails, dressed nicely, ingratiates herself with them.

You saw that glass of wine on the table. 

And then there's the woman who touches your boyfriends like that. Rubbing their arms, touching their chests and backs. Speaking with a smile. Satoru was smiling too. 

Besides, her smile clearly showed her intentions.

She likes them.

And they didn't seem to object...

You felt your heart hurt.

How could you think that you could have boyfriends like that??

They are out of your league. This woman is way out of your league. She fits them better. 

You are an ordinary woman who lives in a block of flats that is neither the cheapest nor the most expensive. You work in an office. You're ordinary. 

How could you ever think you could have a happy life with someone as special as them? 

Your Life couldn't be a book in which a handsome rich man meets a normal girl and honestly falls in love with her at first sight. 

It wasn't a fairy tale.

Once upon a time, when you were feeling down, you wondered if you even deserved them.

Now you see the answer.

They are out of your league. With beautiful women who surround them with smiles. 

Fingers gripping the fabric of your pants, you watched with tears wanting to come out as they both looked at you and whispered your name. 

But without looking at it any longer, you just started walking towards the exit. Ignoring how they were calling your name and running after you.

You didn't want to disturb them in their real life where they belonged.

[herejusttosufferalong]

Here is my crack theory.. please bear with me, this is one the many infinite theories that conjured up in my brain since the past week and after a lot contemplation on whether I should put it out here or not I decided I should or else it will eat me up lol

We all know brazil was quite different so probably something really did happen in Brazil (may be they crossed lines/may be they didn't? honestly we will never know). Anyway, all the articles still labelled him as single and I assume things were heating up between him & Nic, he probably decided to break things off with A or had already broken up atp - hence her drastic hair chop moment, but but but what is a love story without dramatic twists.. sooo i think A knows what transpired there and is now holding it over his head (his career could go down the drain if she accuses him of cheating even though they presumably have an on/off relationship) thereby pushing him acknowledge whatever they have in public (I know this take is controversial & potrays all people involved in a bad light, I hated it as soon as this crossed my mind but I am wilding with my theories). Hence we get the hard launch done exactly on the premier day may be because thats what she wanted. L went ahead and did whatever it took for now to not let the situation get out of hand as there is a lot at stake here cause honestly why would anyone in their sane mind do it on such an important day of their career??? Explains why he looks so.. distant in those pics and all the other pics since then, also why N isnt as hostile cause she knows its messy for the time being.. may be he is figuring things out with A.

Now, I think they are letting the relationship run it's course meanwhile A is making most of this situation trying to gain as much traction as possible with her antics to be able to stay in the limelight and grab some deals by travelling with him 🤷‍♀️

I know this theory is too wild and I am not saying all of this happened but i just can't stop thinking if this could be a possible explanation for all the erratic behaviour we have seen in the pap walk & pool pics🧐.

.

[applestorms]

actually. @moonlarked you wanted someone to talk about near & light as parallels? cuz uh...

ok SO, my big hot take on near is something like this: one of the most common criticisms i see about near is that he is simply too apathetic/bored/uncaring/etc, and that because he is not as emotionally invested as L, his win against light doesn't feel nearly (lol) as satisfying as it could've been. this is a view that often frustrates me, but for a very particular reason— namely, while i think it is somewhat accurate in content, i think it misses a lot of important context (and also misses a lot of the importance of light's character arc, but we'll get to that much later).

one of the most important things to remember about the wammy's kids is that, whether they like it or not, each and every one of them is defined almost entirely through their relationship to L. this is perhaps more obvious in the case of characters like BB and mello, who are very Aware of this shadow being cast upon them and react in very overt, emotional ways (e.g. becoming a literal serial killer out of seemingly pure spite & desire to be noticed, idolizing him but in a very emotionally complicated, kinda detached sorta way, etc), but it is true for Every wammy's kid, purely because of how the house itself functions. these kids are being raised to be L's successor— the greatest (and second greatest, and third greatest) detective on the planet. this is the ultimate goal hanging over every one of their heads, and it places a constant pressure on every kid there.

oftentimes, i think (perhaps both out of story and in it, as well?) people get so caught up in comparing near to L that they forget he also falls under this umbrella— only, for near, his position is slightly different because he actually somewhat succeeds at the task? like, yeah, L never gets the chance to officially call near his successor, but between the fact that he's constantly called the #1 kid at wammy's and that he. literally does actually end up becoming the new L after kira, i think it's always been pretty clear what his path was going to be.

going back to my starting point, this is one of the main ways that near makes a really good parallel to light in my mind, specifically the light that we see right at the start of the series. in both cases, near and pre-DN light, we see a kid who has succeeded at everything they've been handed, and more notably, we see a kid who is bored out of his fucking mind looking at the prospects of what he's got.

in the case of light, this is maybe a little more realistic/easy to understand— light does well in academics, he does well in sports, he does well with people. he is likely to follow in his father's footsteps with something criminal justice/police/law related, but even if he diverges from that path it likely won't be too big of a deal, as he has shown himself to be capable in enough areas that he's likely to succeed no matter what. by all measurable standards, light's doing pretty good at the start of the series. and yet— there is something so distinctly and inherently Bland about his life before he gets the DN. i've said before that light wouldn't call the DN a curse even if he wanted to, but i think in that moment when he's telling ryuk he disagrees w/ his father after visiting him in the hospital, when he says, "I've never once considered finding that notebook and gaining this power a misfortune. In fact, it's made me happier than I've ever been." (ch.22) he's still getting at something real and truthful.

again, going back to my equating of boredom with depression in this series— light's life is pretty good by all measurable standards. he has a family who loves him, presumably more than enough money to get by with a pretty cushy lifestyle, and does well, honestly better than well, in every single system he is presented with. but even so, he's still unhappy. there is something in his soul that has not yet been satisfied. he's bored of the world, bored of his place in it, how easy it all is. what the DN really offers him is a challenge, entertainment— just the same as L, and just the same as ryuk.

near similarly suffers from this kind of boredom, though it is perhaps less overtly stated than in the case of light, L, and ryuk, and less easy to catch as it is not as realistic/common. again: near basically ends up the winner of wammy's house. he is the one to take the title of L, he's declared the smartest, bestest kid at wammy's, and he gets all the power and privilege that comes with such a title. but still— he's so. fucking. bored. much to the embarrassment of mello, this shit was never really a challenge to him. it's pretty obvious that near isn't really even all that attached to the title of L— don't forget that his first real introduction to the story involves him explicitly saying that he'd be just fine working with mello as essentially co-L successors. and this is a viewpoint that he holds onto until the very end of the series, actually, claiming that he was only able to best light due to mello's sacrifice. near doesn't really give a fuck about the rat race he's been slotted into, though it's perhaps for that exact reason that he ends up winning it anyway, and getting all the responsibility that comes along.

that being said, i think there are still two main differences between light and near:

light fucks up.

near never gets past his boredom.

in the case of this first point, i do not mean to say that near never ever makes any move/judgement that could be considered a mistake— mello killing the entire SPK is the first thing that comes to mind, which i see as blood on near's hands for the same reason that L takes at least some responsibility for lind l. tailor. rather, i mean that near never makes a such a monumental fuck-up that he has to overturn his entire worldview just to account for it in the same way that light does when he accidentally kills two people w/ the DN the first time.

it's like, if you've ever known (or been) the kind of kid who always got perfect grades in school, straights A's for K-12, only to reach college and suddenly bomb their first test and have an existential crisis as their only real achievement in life is crushed into dust, then you know light yagami. only for light, it's on a whole 'nother scale, because not only does he fucking oopsie daisy kill two people, but he kills in such a context that he can mentally manipulate it back into seeming heroic. i hate to say that suffering causes character development because that's terrible advice (it's how you react to terrible circumstances that matters, imho) but to some degree, yeah, having conflicts/hard times in life is just necessary to figure shit out sometimes. near (and L, oh goddd i need to write about L properly sometime) has so many things smoothed over and handed to him, and on top of that, he's a super genius very rarely fucks anything up, at least according to base logic. he doesn't even really consider the morality of anything he's doing until light straight up asks him in a desperate bid to keep talking at the end, it's all just logic and factors to consider.

this all leads to my second point, which is that near never really gets the chance to overcome his boredom in the same way as the others. ryuk at least gets his entertainment for a couple years, and light and L (and mello) get so invested in each other and their game that it literally kills them, but near just kinda. keeps going. he keeps being L, he keeps solving cases, he does the duty he was given and enjoys his toys... and that's it. he lies around, the only one left to live, never even taking credit for the end of KIRA, never gets another haircut, and keeps the title going. what a life, for a kid who dragged a god back down to earth.

sidenote1: toys

am i reading too into things? maybe. near's toys hold a lot of significance throughout the story in more specific ways, most notably the finger puppets he uses at the very end of the story while tracking different people's/kira's actions, though you could probably read some kind of meaning into every toy he has and the ways in which he plays with them. what i want to look at here though is more the general reasoning behind playing with them in the first place— a desire for a childhood he didn't get to have? a love of games more generally? (could track with him seeing the KIRA case, or really all detective work, as just another game.) you could also read into his toys as another source for near's apathy/detachment from reality, literally breaking every notable person around him down into a doll by the end of the story, speaking a lot to how alienated he is from the world (again, very similar to both L and light, there). i don't have much more of a point to make here, just wanted to add this in somewhere since it's one of his most striking visual character traits.

sidenote2: light's arc

going back to my point at the start of this post... light's character arc.

uhh. near winning is a good thing, actually. and i don't just mean that as a moral claim— DN itself as a story isn't really concerned with trying to answer any moral questions about good or evil or the justice system, so it makes sense & is fair to me that it doesn't try all that hard to answer anything along those lines by the very end of the story. what i mean to say here is that near winning is a good thing on the level of the character arc, specifically as an end to light's arc.

i made a post a while back while mid-manga reread talking through some of the reasons why L's death can feel kind of unsatisfying/paint the second half of the story in a less interesting light (hah) for a lot of viewers, with the main point i ended up on being that L wasn't really able to win because he never really had all that clear of a win state in the first place. i still kiiind of agree with this point, though i think there's a lot more i could add to that post... anyways. point is, i bring up that post because it touches on a similar thing to what i want to talk about here: light's character arc being a tragedy.

this is more speculation on my part, but i think another part of the reason why people get turned off to DN post-L death is not just the fact that L isn't really a playable character in the game anymore, but the fact that light's character arc takes such a dramatic twist after the timeskip. i talked about this a little bit in my little ramble on light & titles (which a lot of you liked, apparently!! ty for all the lovely comments on there, i love reading what you guys have to say ^w^), but light's character arc in DN is a tragedy to me, full-stop.

tragedies to me are cyclical— revolutionary, if you will. since all stories necessitate some kind of something to take place, a tragedy to me is all about a character beginning in one point, then continually getting hit by Event, after Thing, after Event, only to end up in essentially the exact same place that they started. any character changes or development that seem to happen throughout the story are ultimately nullified by the end— the main subject does not truly grow, does not truly reflect on their actions or traumas, does not move on. two steps forward is two steps back. even ending up in a position worse than they started is sometimes better than a true tragedy, in my mind, as at least then there is some chance they may still reflect or change or grow in the future, leaving the hope that they may still overcome this new circumstance later on. a true tragedy ends in nothing meaningful ever getting the chance to truly change, at least in the case of the main subject of the story.

light's character arc in the first half of the story is an upward, underdog kind of story. yes, light has the power of a shinigami, of a supernatural force that the rest of the world doesn't even know exists— but part of the real appeal of his conflict with L is how powerful L feels in comparison, having the wealth and respect and title to command a world's worth of forces against him. fuck, even taking down naomi misora feels like an incredible hurdle overcome, a teenager managing to charm and yap and flutter his eyelashes out of a shitty situation he was only just lucky enough to stumble across in the first place, to stop someone who could've ruined his entire plan with a few words. killing L was always going to be light's greatest accomplishment when it comes to his rise to godhood, not only because of L's great power but the comparative position of light at the time that he did so— not yet an adult, not even really out of school, perhaps barely out of his parents' house.

in contrast, light's arc for the second half of the story is a downward spiral. we see all of the consequences light has been miraculously avoiding smack into him like meteors in this half, his ever-growing ego torn to shreds as he's yanked back down to earth. and in comparison to the anime, the manga really beats this point into you, dedicating the entire second half of the story to light's fall from grace as he loses his mind and loses his humanity. like, while i do kind of prefer the manga ending to the anime, i have to admit that light's death there is fucking brutal. light goes through pages, chapters, purely dedicated to near tearing him a new asshole, only end the story bloody and delirious and crawling on his knees begging a god of death to fix everything— all just to die the exact same death as everyone else he's killed. i mean, look at these fucking pages (ch.107):

(that last fucking picture of him. clawing at the sky. it always fucking gets to me.)

it hurts to read this shit!! we spend the entire first half of the story watching this dude's rise to glory, the entire time stuck inside of his head, emotionally connecting with him even if we don't really mean to or disagree with his actions or question his morality. watching his fall back down, especially after all of that, is fucking painful— an in no way does near make the process any easier. if anything, his blunt, snarky bitchery, saying all the quiet parts out loud, calling light out for being a terrible replacement L and pointing and laughing at his failures to his face, only shoves more salt in the wound, only proves just how human he has been all this time, how meaningless any of his supposed "rise to power" ever really was. light got his fifteen seconds of fame, sure— but near is armed and ready to make sure that's all he'd ever get, that the name Light Yagami would never even be associated with the position he held for so long. six years was all he got— and it was all he was ever going to get, because light yagami did not do this for humanity, he did it for himself. all near did was collect the debt that L prescribed. he fulfilled his duty as told— nothing more, and nothing less.

i just have to wonder... is this why people hate him? because he has no sympathy for the fall? maybe. i don't know.

either way, i don't think i could ever really hate him. it's a big responsibility, being the only one left behind. but near has always been the one to hold such weights on his shoulders.

[azure-cherie]

𝓟𝓐𝓒:𝓜𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓪𝓰𝓮𝓼 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓐𝓹𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓭𝓲𝓽𝓮

Take what resonates and leave the rest, hope this is helpful for you 💘

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ⋆

Pile 1:

General:

You guys are worrying about something too much like you're anxious maybe about some upcoming event and how you must dressup for that , use your intuition you will look amazing choose the dress according to your comfort for it is the greatest form of beauty, you can use rose water for your skin it's coming through. Recently something tragic has happened with you kind of like a tower moment you can pick up from it you know you were given this for a reason because they knew you will go past this and shine , she congratulates you for being this strong despite what others said , their words stern from their need to shame others in order to go forward, you need to be sat and think about all your actions that has led to this , you will find the key to why what has happened the way it has .

Love life :

About your love life , i been seeing a hand mirror and a man admiring the womans reflection on the mirror , she says how blessed you're gonna be with your potential partner but it has to deal with letting go of your control issues , most of your life you have operated from your masculine energy, give feminine energy a chance , learn to receive you will see how comfortable you become with yourself . They will meet you on a new moon night , in around 5-6 months , distinguish carefully who they are you have options but let your intuition decide what you already know .

Some advice :

Clean your room , it's your sanctuary and light some incense in the honour of who you pray to , change the blinds and help your friend feel confident again be a good friend don't forget them they are important .

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ⋆

Pile 2 :

General :

This pile has a very soft gentle aura , like a very coquettish aura , vibe , but i believe this softness is your greatest weapon , in a world where everyone is trying to be violent your softness has a great impact on everyone around you , you are being congratulated because you have successfully healed some of your traumas and ended cycles you are ready for something new , something about your hair comes through, okay so i once saw this YouTube video which stated that hairs store memories as they grow long , it's the same for you maybe you are thinking about growing or cutting off , maybe it's better to keep it longer , long hair also promotes your ketu and henceforth your daimon divine knowledge and creativity, you must get in touch with your creative side it's time.

Love life :

Most of you are already in some relationship here like maybe in a love bond as well , your partner loves you so much right now , it's a confirmation that they adore you , something about writing letters and poetry as well aww this is extremely sweet really, and if you're not in a relationship i guess there's a secret admirer among your friends, you trust them and they're trying to hide coz they are kinda scared ah 😭

Some advice :

Something about drinking well like i get a vision of a red liquid could be red wine or something maybe you will be asked to dine with your lover it's beautiful, don't be scared , get good nutrition and yes you could have a sexual encounter soon something about red/black l*ngerie specifically.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ⋆

Pile 3:

General:

My dear doves i think you're already close to Aphrodite in some way or other maybe you worship her or she is guiding you in either way or or some other possibility is that you already worship a deity who grants beauty and love according to your culture , i see you're already divinely blessed in that field, i see a very free , hipster spirit in your hunting things down , being a detective could be your biggest bestest qualities you're a believer that everything in the world is beautiful and it deserves to be appreciated you're a very appreciative bring , grateful as well , she loves that about you . I keep hearing the word sugar plum, plum baby 🥹 so cute .

Love life:

I feel like there's been a drought in your love life I'm sorry 😭 i know it sucks like needing someone to look after you doesn't it help but at the same time yeah you are the baddy tribe after all i don't see you being sad or repenting about it at all ✨ you understand that what's meant to come will come and while it finds it's route self love will keep you sufficient . Some possibilities would be a co worker crushing on you , something about confession on a roof top . you're gonna be okay love let them in , it's alright to break the walls around people you trust.

Some advice :

Something about planting succulents, work on your root chakra , give yourself enough rest , buy jewellery for yourself especially rose gold , something about aventurine stone . I guess it's about working for your needs and not refusing them when it comes to you.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ⋆

Pile 4 :

General:

Go out more literally i feel like you're really stuck in your home for some reasons , and yes have a fine balance between your spiritual life and mundane life you're born as a human because you have to do the mundane as well you cannot wait on it , you have to do some things, help your mom and dad and i guess there's this something coming up idk i strongly receive that you or someone around you is going to get married soon like it's gonna be a very fruitful one , but yes maintain individualism , even if you're in a relationship now know that not all your decisions need to be based upon your lover think about what you like and what you don't , don't 🥹 do this to yourself.

Love life :

The song ivy by Frank Ocean has the line " i thought that i was dreaming the day you said you love me" it plays to me it's like a dream to be loved by you , one thing about you is that you're an amazing lover and whoever gets to be loved by you is so blessed because you literally are someone who will stay with them through their highs and lows but one thing about this is , you need to differentiate who deserves what you give and who doesn't so be really really careful, one thing about someone coming to you online or in your locality they adore you and might approach you.

Some advice:

You know you deserved better anyway everything that leaves creates room for something new , it's beautiful that you're putting efforts and don't sabotage the next person you love because your previous experiences were bad you give this a chance but only when you feel healed . You're a bad bitch you got everything

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ʚ ɞ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ⋆

Thank you so much to Goddess Aphrodite for her insights may they be helpful for you , all the best do tell me if they resonate with you a feedback would be really helpful.

Also like I've been planning on something like a paid reading, if you have any suggestions my ask box is open for that , though it might take some time to arrange hehe.

Thank you for reading, have a great day/night 🤍

[lumiolivier]

Waiting for the Ball to Drop

Day 14 of 31 of Kinktober

Prompt: Cock warming

Word Count: 2131

It's New Year's Eve at the Yagami household. And L wants Light to wear a special Christmas present for the occasion.

A year and a half had passed since the Kira case went cold.  Sure, the task force never caught Kira, but the killings stopped.  The world changed only slightly for the better.  Everything was fine.  But something came out of that investigation.  Something wonderful.  They were both too stubborn to admit it at the time, but once the investigation ended, they couldn’t fight it anymore.  L and Light were disgustingly in love with each other.

So, once the investigation was over, they were free men.  Both able to pursue whatever and whoever they wanted.  It’s not like they knew they’d only be pursuing each other.  As much as L wanted to go back to London, he couldn’t leave Light.  And living in Tokyo wasn’t half bad.  The two decided to get a luxury apartment together (because L refused to live in squalor) with Watari only a few doors down if need be.  And that was the beginning of their happily ever after.

A few months after coming clean with everyone about their relationship, how they weren’t just roommates for the sake of saving money or space, Watari couldn’t have been happier.  There was someone else in L’s life to make him happy.  That was good enough for him.  However, it took a while for Soichiro to come around to Watari’s way of thinking.  In all honesty, he was just happy Light wasn’t sticking with Misa.  Having her around for family functions would’ve been excruciating.

That brought them to New Year’s.  After coming back from London for Christmas, it gave L and Light a few days to prepare for New Year’s Eve.  There was no way they’d be able to get out of going to the Yagami household for New Year’s.  It was too important to Sachiko that both her children were home.  And with the way things were going these days, she wanted L around, too.  Even though he wasn’t much for conversation, she wasn’t going to shun him either.

It was an hour before they had to be at Light’s parents’ house.  Light had just gotten out of the shower and L was stretched across their bed.  And he couldn’t help but watch as Light walked toward the closet in nothing but a towel, “Light…”

“Hmm?” Light started skimming through the rack of clothes he had hanging up.

“I have an idea,” L scanned Light up and down, fully appreciating the view, “Would you humor me?”

“Depends on the idea,” Light wasn’t sure where L was going with this, but it had him intrigued.

“You know that pretty little plug I got you for Christmas?” L asked.

“The one with the diamond in the end?”

“That’s the one.”

“Yeah,” Light kept skimming through the closet, “What about it?”

“Put it in tonight,” L insisted, “When we get home, I’m thinking we move some furniture around.”

“Really?” Light climbed onto the bed, getting a quick kiss out of his boyfriend, “You know, if this were any other time, I’d tell you no.”

“But…?”

“But,” Light went on, “It is our first New Year’s together.”

“What?” L pouted, “Do all the other New Year’s we spent working together suddenly not count?  I always thought they were special.”

“Not like that,” Light rolled his eyes, “You know damn well what I mean.”

“Of course, I do,” L pulled Light into his arms, “Our first New Year’s together together.  Yes, I understand.  Does that mean you’ll be a good boy for me and put the plug in?”

Light got up from the bed and took the plug out from its black box in the closet, “I spoil you.”

“And I’m going to absolutely wreck you later,” L got up behind him, “Hurry up.  Your parents are expecting us.”

“Alright, alright,” Light went back into the bathroom and finished getting ready while L grabbed the small fruit basket Light had picked up on his way home earlier in the day. 

Then, the moment finally arrived.  L and Light got into L’s car and headed for Light’s parents’ house.  It had been a while since L had seen Soichiro, but they were cordial enough with each other.  Sure, Soichiro still wasn’t overly thrilled L was dating his son, but he also wasn’t going to complain.  It wasn’t his decision, nor his life to meddle with, so Soichiro let it slide.  The last time L and Light had seen the rest of Light’s family was early November.  Just before L and Light had left for London.  So, naturally…

“LIGHT!” Sayu was the first to jump them at the door.  She threw her arms around his waist.

And Light winced a bit, still feeling the plug inside him, “Hi, Sayu.”

Sayu stretched her arms out to L, knowing how he was about suddenly being touched in any way, shape, or form.  But it was also Sayu.  Just because she could respect boundaries didn’t mean she wouldn’t ask, “Come on, L.  I haven’t seen you in forever.  And it’s New Year’s!”

L wrestled with it for a moment or two, but he couldn’t tell her no, “Fine.  This one time, Sayu.”

“Yay!” Sayu hugged him tight.  And as much as he wanted to hate it, he couldn’t.  It was Sayu.  No one could hate anything Sayu did.  She was too sweet, too pure, too innocent.

“Light,” L begged, “Peel your sister off me.”

“You told her it was ok,” Light pointed out, waving a finger at him, “This?  This is all you.  You did that.”

“I’ll remember that,” L nudged Sayu off him.

“You got here just in time, too,” Sayu chirped, “Mom just put out snacks!”

“Hi, Mom!” Light called from the door.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Sachiko came out with a full tray of assorted snacks.  And L saw chocolate covered strawberries.  He wasn’t going to complain, “Oh, L!  I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight, too.”

“Hello, Mrs. Yagami,” L gave her a nod.  Uh-huh.  Where else would I be?  And if you weren’t expecting me, you wouldn’t have made chocolate covered strawberries.  You know how I feel about them.  You know I’m going to probably eat all of them over the course of the evening.  And there’s an even better chance…I’m thinking forty percent…If I ask you to make more, you’ll take the ones out of the basket we gave you and make more for me.  No…Not forty percent.  At the very least, sixty.

“Ryuzaki,” Soichiro greeted him.  He remained cordial.  Soichiro wasn’t going to invite him to a round of golf any time soon, but he could be cordial.

“Mr. Yagami,” L matched his energy, although a touch cockier.

“Hi, Dad,” Light kept his fingers crossed, hoping that the night would go smoothly. 

“Hello, son,” Soichiro managed to crack a smile.  Because he could never be angry with Light.  Not his golden child.

“So,” Sayu dragged Light down to the couch.  And the moment Light fell, he really felt L’s plans for later hitting him, “We were just about to start the movie.”

“What movie?” L wondered.

“It’s the same one we’ve watched every year for as long as I can remember,” Sayu told him, “My Neighbor Totoro!”

“Really?”

“I know, I know,” Light rolled his eyes, “It’s kind of lame, but it’s been my thing with Sayu since she was little.”

“It’s not at all,” L sat next to him, “It’s one of Near’s favorites, too.  I’m not going to judge.”

“Good!” Sayu chirped, sitting on the other couch.

“Alright then,” Sachiko pressed a kiss on top of each of her children’s heads, “Behave yourselves.  We should be back in a little while.”

“What?” Light perked up, “What do you mean?  Where are you two going?”

“Aizawa and his wife invited us out tonight,” Soichiro explained, “I’ve been blowing him off for weeks now, so I kind of owe him.”

“It’s a shame,” L sighed out, “It really would’ve been nice to talk to you tonight, Mr. Yagami.  We don’t get to do that anymore.”

L could see it all over Sachiko’s face.  She didn’t want to go out.  She didn’t want to leave her babies.  And if L could get through to her, they wouldn’t be leaving.  Fortunately for L, Light wasn’t the only one he had wrapped around his finger, “Soichiro…It’s New Year’s.  And we hardly ever get to have the family together anymore.  I’m sure Shuichi could wait until after New Year’s.”

“He already got a sitter for the night,” Soichiro pointed out.

“Then, he and his wife can have a nice evening together,” Sachiko begged, “Please?  Do we really have to?”

“Well…” Soichiro would never let anyone know it, but he had a soft spot for his wife.  And once she asked nicely, he knew he was done, “I guess we can call it off with them.”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Sachiko kissed her husband’s cheek and sat down.

“Light,” L whispered in his ear, “Go to your room.  Take the plug out.”

“What?” Light let out a little gasp, “Are you nuts?”

“No,” L took on a firmer tone, “Go.  Take the plug out.  And come back here with a blanket.”

“Alright,” Light wasn’t going to fight him.  He wasn’t quite sure where L was going with it, but he knew better than to ask.  That would be for later.  So, just as he was told, Light went upstairs.

“Hmm,” Soichiro noticed him out of the corner of his eye, “Where’s he off to?”

“I don’t know,” L shrugged, “He just said he needed to go upstairs for something.  It is nice to see you again, though, Mr. Yagami.  How are you?”

“I’m fine,” Soichiro looked at him strangely, not expecting small talk already, “How are you?”

“Curious,” L cocked his head, “Why don’t you like Light and me together?”

“Here we go,” Sayu paused the movie.

“I never said I didn’t like you and Light together,” Soichiro admitted, “Actually, upon further thought and speculation, Light could be with much worse.”

“I understand you’re worried about your son,” L agreed, “But I’m more than capable of taking care of him.  I don’t seem like much, that’s true, but wouldn’t you want him to end up with someone as accomplished as I am?”

“Well…” Soichiro knew L had him backed into a corner.  But he wasn’t going to fight him, “Of course, I do.”

“But there’s something else,” L assumed, “Isn’t there?”

“Not really.” I know what you’re like.  I worked with you for four years.  I’m curious as to how many of those years you were in love with my son.  How many of those days I would walk into work and you would be thinking of my son in the most impure fashion.  What you could’ve been doing behind my back. 

“I’m sure there isn’t.” You’re lying.  Your right eye twitched and you started fiddling with your wedding ring.  You’re very much a traditionalist.  And the fact that your son isn’t going the traditionalist route like you thought you raised him to puts a vein in your forehead.  Well…

“Found one,” Light came back with a blanket in his hand.  And a diamond plug in his nightstand drawer.

“Wonderful,” L made a spot for Light on his lap and wrapped the two of them in the blanket, “Thank you, Light.”

“No problem.”

“Light,” L whispered in his ear again, “I’m going to slide the waistband of your pants down and you’re going to keep me warm.  Do you understand?”

“Right here?” Light felt his face grow flush, “Are you serious?”

“Completely,” L confirmed, “Why do you think I wanted you to put the plug in?  You should be ready for me.  And I know damn well you want me, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but…” Light knew L had his kinks.  But he wasn’t sure which one he was exercising.  Still, he let out a heavy sigh, knowing what he was going to get out of it.  It’s no different than the plug, right?  It’s just more skin to skin contact, “Alright.  Go ahead.”

“Thank you,” L started shimmying Light’s pants down and angled himself just right, making sure Light was comfortable.  Although, Light sunk his teeth into the inside of his cheek so hard, he started tasting blood.  He knew he had to be quiet.  He didn’t want to raise any suspicion.  The blanket provided them with ample coverage.  L could feel Light’s warmth and Light could feel L’s length in his lower intestine.  And neither one was upset.  L and Soichiro had a brief moment of eye contact.  And it made L smile. You know, I think I figured you out, Mr. Yagami.  Why you don’t like Light and me together.

Because you know that at the drop of a fucking hat, I could have him calling me daddy, too.

[grimalkinmessor]

You know, I think it's interesting that L claims that Light is his first friend. Like, what was that line for? Ohba said that it was a lie, yes, and I believe that to an extent—but also who was the lie for? L had to know at that point that Light was cruel and intelligent, meaning that even if he didn't figure it for a lie, it wouldn't soften him up either. Kira doesn't feel sentiment for anyone other than family.

But, even if that statement of Light being L's first friend wasn't a lie, I still think it's an interesting choice thematically.

Because even if Light is L's first friend, L isn't Light's.

Ryuk is.

I don't know, I just—there's something about the theme of friendship that connects intrinsically to that moment, that panel that encompasses all three of them, and I'm not sure if it was intentional or not.

Because Ryuk, and L and Light's friendship are pretty directly linked.

Before Light loses his memories, he has Ryuk. Ryuk, the first being he's ever been completely honest with, someone that follows him around all the time and plays around with him and doesn't expect much from him while also not patronizing him. Even if Light had been cripplingly lonely when the series started (which I believe he very much was), he wasn't alone anymore when he met L.

But L was. L has no one but Watari, and even then I'm not sure you could call their relationship friendly.

(Not that I would call Ryuk and Light traditional friends either...)

BUT! But, but, but, this is important—when Light loses his memory of the Death Note, he also loses Ryuk. He has no memory of him. Which means that whatever loneliness he'd been wrangling before the Death Note dropped comes rushing back in, taking up all the empty space again. It makes him more susceptible to L's "You Want To Be My Friend So Bad You Wanna Tell Me You're Kira So Bad" agenda, which is,,,,hilarious to me.

Because not only does Light fall for it; so does L. He falls for his own damn interrogation plot. Congrats idiot, you have a real friend now and both of you are going to regret it.

And this new line of friendship/camaraderie/understanding/affection doesn't go away even when Light's memories come back. It doesn't just vanish when he gets his hands on the notebook, and we know it doesn't, because he goes to get L when he's on the roof. He's cruel again but it's gentler than Pre-Confinement Kira's cruelty. And yeah, you could blame that on Light knowing L was going to die, but also—Light caught him when he fell. He made sure that he was standing close enough to catch L and hold him as he died. He could've just let him fall to the floor and die on the tile, cold and alone.

Light's fondness/friendship/affection/love (whatever you wanna call it) for L doesn't just up and vanish as soon as he's Kira again.

But it does when Ryuk comes back.

I don't know if it was intentional, but it's like Light's ties to Ryuk and L cannot exist at the same time. They can't exist in the same place. Light's first friend never gets to meet his last one.

I don't really have a point here. I just thought it was interesting 🖤

[13eyond13]

L For the Headcanon ask meme 7 Travel: What do you think are his favorite places to travel 24: Orientation: I liked how you wrote about Light not being oblivious about being Gay. What do you think was L's relationship with his sexual orientation? 26: Beauty: This is not something that gets associated with L often, so I threw it is as a curveball. Interpret it as you see fit!

L + Favourite places to travel:

I don't really have anything like specific countries in mind for this, but my main thought was that he is sort of a more indoorsy/man-made entertainment kind of tourist rather than a natural beauty tourist whenever he's travelling for fun. I could see him liking going to major cities with lots of interesting museums, theaters, concerts, and exciting thrill-seeking things to do, like skydiving and riding rollercoasters... very much like that one-shot that shows him doing all of those things on a day off by himself, haha:

L + Orientation:

I feel like L is not straight and also has long been aware of that and is casually accepting of it about himself, but in a way where he probably would not announce it outright to anybody unless it blatantly comes up and he has a good reason to mention it. Possibly in a way where he's never even discussed it with anybody else before (if you think of him as somebody who's never been sexually/romantically involved with anybody, which I can see about as readily as I can see him as somebody who's had a bit of experience). I could see him as bi, but gay also works okay for me as well, considering in the manga he never actually really showed sincere attraction to a female character (the anime sort of made him seem more attracted to Misa with a couple added-in little moments than the manga ever did, imo). My main reason for this comes from how suggestive and teasing L can be with his behaviours toward Light at times without ever outright saying anything about himself or his preferences in canon.

This scene is probably the most helpful one to me for deciding how I'd characterize him in a fic about it:

He's getting outright accused of not being straight in a homophobic way because of his suggestive behaviours there, but he doesn't say anything like "I'm not into guys that way" or try to change anybody's mind about thinking of him as possibly not-straight. He kinda just avoids the subject altogether, even when saying he's not doing it because he wants to. I feel like L would also tell people he wasn't straight if he had a reason to do so, but that most of the time he doesn't really see the point in even bringing it up or want to divulge that kind of personal information, and he also just kinda likes to be withholding of information that he feels like people are fishing for from him as well.

L + Beauty:

I think he's somebody who would say he doesn't particularly value physical beauty as much as he does stuff like intelligence and hard work and moral fiber, and would say it's only skin deep or something along those lines, which is part of the reason he puts so little thought or effort into his own appearance. HOWEVER he also is a bit of a prideful stubborn sour grapes character to me too, and I think he likely sometimes avoids focusing on or trying to learn things that he feels he is just not naturally really very good at or would easily be the winner of, and would secretly be a bit embarrassed to be forced to try. Though it might never become a huge priority for him to focus on his own appearance more or anything, I could see him learning to really admire and appreciate different types of beauty more in general if somebody else introduced him to it in a way that interested him and made it seem more important to him. And then I could see him finding ways to surround himself with it more often once he develops more of an eye for it (like, say, has a partner with a good aesthetic sense who can help him decorate his room with a bit more pizzazz).

[headcanon asks]

[vivacissimx]

[ASOIAF 2024 Official Calendar Cover Art by Justin Sweet]

couple things: obviously i love this new art although i was very surprised to see it (yes everyone knows r+l=j but george you haven't gotten to this part in asoiaf yet!!), particularly as the cover art for the whole calendar. i know there are plans for the harrenhal play in 2023/2024, and that twow seems to be looming so a possible clue that the reveal of jon snow's parentage may very well be in this coming book?

regardless, about the actual art: justin sweet is certainly a conceptual artist from a quick overview of his website & that really shines through here, i mean the placements, the metaphors, the whole composition is soft as forest moss truly.

i love the interplay of light & dark given what we know of these characters: rhaegar with his sense of grief/doom is fully in the shade of the enormous heart tree while lyanna is in the half-light half-dark, perhaps representing her own more optimistic and less convoluted worldview. she's exploring, finding balance; he's watching & seeing something he admires that somehow exists in all the twists and inescapable turns of the forest engulfing them.

the third 'person' in the art is the heart tree itself, old/wise/frowning, but also cradling both lyanna and rhaegar. they're both connected to it, representing in a sense that their fates are sealed & known. this is a stolen moment they're having (it's a false spring!) but despite the simplicity it's still connected to the much larger world around them.

another point i like is the lack of sigil etc on their clothing—we know who they are but the interaction is not one of targaryen to stark on it's face. [there's also this other art by the same artist which parallels lyanna & jon's poses + rhaegar & jon's clothes WE GET IT OKAY]

LAST & MOST IMPORTANT THOUGH: the blue roses at the bottom that are firmly in the light! both rhaegar and lyanna are looking in that direction, the blue roses are of course deeply intertwined with their story but also are connected to their narrative successors in jon & daenerys. daenerys sees the blue rose in her vision in the house of the undying as part of the prophecy on her romantic relationships / jon is told the story of bael the bard & the blue winter rose as a nod to his own hidden identity. the flowers aren't connected to the heart tree directly, just in it's presence, perhaps because the upcoming fate of those two & the entire world is still in the air. at best: they find each other and spring blooms. a dream of spring. at worst: they're swallowed by the weight of history as the tree itself is.

only thing i would have liked to have seen is perhaps some of the deep gashes that daemon targaryen left on the heart tree of harrenhal while waiting there for aemond one-eye to surface. assumedly this is harrenhal as it's spring here & rhaegar/lyanna didn't see each other following harrenhal until winter had reasserted itself. the connection of the targaryen family to the god's eye/harrenhal/the rivers that make up the trident is an interesting and extensive one but! beggars can't be choosers!

all in all very much a treat, the gentle romantic setting of the calm in the storm is Such an ASOIAF vibe and this piece truly captured that

[rebeccalouisaferguson]

“I look for the simple relationship dramas of just going to the loo while somebody is brushing their teeth. It’s just a fucking shot and it’s just real. I want that,” says Swedish-born actor, Rebecca Ferguson. And although she wants a skin-and-bones realism when it comes to the films she makes, she is certainly a darling of the movie theater spectacle. In other words, Ferguson graces some of the most grand and big budget films known to earth-dwellers, that of the Mission Impossible series, where she stars alongside none other than Tom Cruise, or her effortless depth as Lady Jessica in Dune and the forthcoming Part Two, as well as helming post-apocalyptic Apple TV+ series Silo, which is slated for a second season, and these are just to name a few.

Ferguson speaks further regarding her process when it comes to choosing a project to work on, “I read a script and I like a script, and I like a character, and I like the director, and I like the ensemble.” But then she pauses, light from the street moving across her face, “But, honestly, I do get sick and tired of playing powerful women. Or being asked that question: ‘You like playing powerful women, don’t you?’ I think [to myself], ‘Ugh, no, I just like playing people with thoughts and actions and reactions.’ And I think why I’m loving these films and series (Dune, Mission Impossible, Silo), is because it’s an uncontrolled environment. I like an environment that takes you into something unsettling, taking control of you and you have to adapt.”

Ferguson has adapted, ladies and gentlemen. Considering her lengthy résumé, it’s as if she has punched a winning artistic lottery ticket. Additionally, her experience has now allowed her to be of service, which the star is grateful for and does not take for granted. “It’s quite nice,” she says, speaking of her chops offering virtues, “because we have new characters in season two of Silo, and they are nervous, and a bit younger, and it’s nice to nurture and care for them on set. Like, I don’t like flying, I’m claustrophobic, but if I fly with someone who’s terrified, I’m super cool. I think that happens on set as well. You can kind of pretend you’ve got your shit together.”

Pretending or not, Ferguson is interested in humanity, meaning, she is interested in people that care for one another, not just treating artists and the like as if they are capitalistic puzzle pieces. “I feel similar to Denis Villeneuve (the director of Dune) in the way I run a set. When I say ‘me,’ I mean that I’m the lead of it and I produce it, and I am part of the collaboration and safety—” note, Ferguson is an executive producer on Silo— “and to be a part of the bigger picture is really important for me. To feel connected because we’re people. And I do well with people who are character actors and quite self-obsessed. It’s interesting, I love drama and I think it’s fun as long as its kind, but I want a really good set. I want a happy set where everyone feels heard and seen.” She continues eloquently, “I think acting is so delicate and individual. But if you feel safe then the humanity of holding space for each other [can happen], so then you feel safe to explore. Also, when you get older...” Ferguson pauses, and a wry smile appears, “I want to have fun, man. I want to really come to work and enjoy it.”

Considering the milestone 25th anniversary issue at hand, we can’t help but ask if Ferguson would share some of her own career and personal-life highlights. She says that she likes to keep certain aspects of her personal life private, however, her work milestones seem to reflect that the lessons on set feed into the way she is off set. “Career wise, I was going to say it was quite recent, oddly enough,” Ferguson recounts, “I remember on The White Queen (a BBC One television series of which Ferguson was the lead), I was sitting with Max Irons on the thrones, I was playing the Queen of England, as a Swede, trying to elongate my vowels, and I looked out over all the people on set, and said to [Irons], ‘This is about us! We’re here! This is huge for me!’ We laughed, and it was not like, ‘I had made it.’ It was more of this feeling of: ‘I can’t believe I’m allowed to do this.’ I get back to that moment often because that moment taught me to now and then just stop and look at what I’ve done, and look at where I am because I keep on just going. It’s go and go and go, and project after project, and boom boom boom, and I don’t stop to just go, ‘Wow, I’ve done really well. I’m so lucky!’”

We pause and take in the silver lining of the artistic battle. The agony and the ecstasy therein. How the go go go can feel so good whilst simultaneously feeling overwhelming. It is wonderful to witness a star like Ferguson recounting not the money made or the awards won as milestones, but the experiences had, and the resultant upward spiritual shifts of her life. She goes on and let’s us in a bit closer, and we gladly listen: “The other time was the realization that I don’t give two fucks to say what I want on set. That is the most powerful moment for me. It was less than six years ago. I had something in my mind but I didn’t do [what I needed to do for myself]. I was terrified, and I felt really unfairly treated by an actor I was working with. I remember leaving that set thinking I have disliked this entire shoot, and I couldn’t stand that for myself. I thought, ‘I don’t want to do this if this is what it’s like,’ because I’m far too fragile, but the next film I did after that was amazing. I wonder if that was a transition for me, of being able to say: I don’t like this. Self-worth...”

And she lets that one fade away. We know what she means. Anyone with a pulse knows what she means. Self-worth and its multifaceted teachings. How self-worth allows us to be strong and steady and available. After all, what is the point of it all if we can’t help those that come after us? Ferguson laughs, “I remember saying to Tom Cruise once—and we were in a helicopter traveling to set, obviously—‘You know your life is really fucked up, buddy.’ And he was like, ‘What?’ I said, ‘You travel in a helicopter to work... and I’m just going to leave it right there.’ He was quiet, and said, ‘Yeah, I know. But you know what? My experience is through you.’ And I loved that he said that. I thought, ‘I guess that’s what I feel with the younger people on set now,’ I get so much from them. One of them said [to me recently], ‘I’m really nervous,’ as it was a huge set, and I thought ‘It is a huge set,’ I walk on appreciating it and loving it, but I’m also very comfortable, but the young ones walk backwards whilst walking forward, and they look for me to help them.”

This all must be why Rebecca Ferguson continues to shine in some of the grandest roles and grandest productions. Not just because she can act her ass off or that her face is something Botticelli would weep over, but because of her remembrance of humanity. We get so much of entertainment backwards—we think it’s this parade of opening weekend decadence and red carpet façade, but it’s really this assemblage of hearts and minds aching to do good, aching to build community through magic. “We move on so quickly in life,” Ferguson says, as we nearly conclude, “We just had a moment now where I could have stayed at work for an extra hour and it would have helped them, but I also stood there going, ‘I’ve promised my daughter I would be home, and I’m actually just going to stick to that promise.’ I felt bad for leaving, as I would like to help them more, but to be able to stand there in myself and go: No, these are the moments in life that mean everything.”

The moments. The delicate balance. The balance between on-screen queen and at-home mother. The virtues collide betwixt the personal and the professional. The magic and the simple. Sometimes blurring the lines. And blurred or not, always keeping the silver-smithed love intact. 

[sleepykatty]

𝐌𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐓𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Honestly he probably doesn’t like PDA but inside closed doors he’s clingy

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He would be nice but quiet, sometimes you hang out with him watching clouds

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He loves to cuddle, he finds it intimate and comforting

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He would like to settle down someday but he doesn’t think to much on it considering how young he is, he’s better at cleaning then he is cooking, but tbh he’s not amazing at either

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It would be quick and short, and then he would avoid you like the plague

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He has thought about it but again never considered it since he’s nowhere near the marriageable age, he is committed to you for life

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Emotionally he’s mostly gentle but physically he can be a bit rough with you

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He loves hugs but he doesn’t do them often, his hugs are quick but sweetly intended

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Sometimes he’ll just say it out of nowhere and then other times he won’t say it for months

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He can get easily jealous if someone gets too touchy with you, but he’ll be quieter then usual and occasionally appear at your side and grip your wrist

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are quick light pecks, Muichiro likes to either kiss your lips or hand and prefers to be kissed on the lips or his forehead

L = Little ones (How are they around Children?)

He doesn’t like kids he thinks they’re loud and obnoxious

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Muichiro is definitely not a early bird, so he prefers to sleep in if he has nothing to do, when he does get up he’ll make something simple to eat

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

He goes to sleep significantly late, so if you wake up in the middle of the night there’s a 50/50 chance he’s still awake

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

he’s not very secretive but there are some things he has yet to tell you, he’ll let you know when the times right or when he wants too

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Muichiro is not as patient as he seems to be, he actually hates when people beat around the bush, but with you he’s a little more patient

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He probably has selective memory and he might forget important stuff but remember something like what you ate for dinner last Tuesday

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

When he came back from a mission and was injured, and you were worried sick about him

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He’s not too possessive over you but if someone is so touchy he’ll step in. He doesn’t really think he needs protection because he’s a hashira

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Tbh not a lot but it’s the thought that counts, he might give you a flower and say it looks like you or something.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Being dismissive or blunt, or just ignoring you

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Muichiro doesn’t care much about how he looks he really only takes care of his hair

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He would be ok without you but something would be missing in his heart

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Twirls his hair when he’s nervous

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn’t like overly sensitive people or people who get mad easily, he prefers a cheerful person

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Sleeps very quietly, sometimes you have to wake him up to see if his breathing, curls up into a ball