#It makes me doubt if I want to spend my time in this at all since after all time is limited and we can but spend it in a handful of things

[elshenanigans]

When playing the game, i finished Keith’s ending first. What if MC was avoiding realizing Eddie and Volt because they’re scared the two of them were doing the same thing? Playing into their emotions to be realized.

(sorry if this is a lot lmao)

SPOILERS FOR KEITH’S REALIZATION

anon why are you in my brain this is genuinely why i refused to realize Eddie and Volt for so long because i was scared the ending would disappoint me or break my heart and i couldn’t face it

i would love to write a fic like this PEAK angst ugh okay here are some thoughts

the homeowner, after realizing Keith (especially if you got the love ending with him) is absolutely terrified that everyone else is just using you to become real, and that you’ll just end up alone again after everything.

Keith’s actions infect every relationship you have with the poison of distrust from then on. you don’t know who to believe, who to suspect, even who truly loves you.

maybe you’d start pulling away from Eddie and Volt, because for them to do the same thing and completely abandon you after the love you have poured into them, it would destroy you. surely it’ll be easier if you just…cut them off first. before they can hurt you.

no conversation, no explanation, you distance yourself. you can’t bare the thought of just…asking them about it, because what if they validate your biggest fear?

what if everything has been a lie? to get you to help them maintain the bar, to appease you, to get closer to becoming human, to leave you and never come back.

when you go from visiting the breaker box every day to maybe twice a week, of course the boys notice.

plus, they run a freaking club. they have eyes and ears everywhere: there is no way they wouldn’t hear about what happened with Keith and all they want to do is comfort you but you just won’t let them.

you continue to realize objects that you’re friends with, but refuse to bring the topic up with any of your lovers until completely necessary.

questions about Keith make you shut down immediately and your boys make the connection very quickly that you’re afraid they’ll abandon you.

Volt’s first reaction would be to get upset that you could even think such a thing. did their declaration of love fall on deaf ears? did they do something to make you doubt them? were they not affectionate enough?

as someone who’s been alone for most of his existence, Eddie is the one to remind him that it isn’t about them. it’s about you and your trauma from being abandoned. he knows that it’s nothing they did and that this is your way of protecting yourself. because it’s what he did.

so instead of trying to force you to believe them (because they know it won’t work) when they say that they adore you and want to spend the rest of their lives with you, they start dropping hints just in passing every time you come back to the club

Eddie is subtle. or what he thinks is subtle. he’ll start vaguely mentioning a life with you.

“Hey spark, what’s your ring size?”

“Where do you want to live in the future? I’m thinking some place just outside of the big city so we have our privacy and a nice commute for work.”

“You know, before Volt, I thought I would be alone for the rest of my life. I know I don’t say it a lot, but I’m glad to have you here with me, my love.”

Volt is bold. he wants you to know he is planning on being there for the rest of your lives.

“Darling, where should we honeymoon when we get married?

“Do you want children, my dear? I was thinking two would be nice. But of course, if you want to only focus on us forever I would be just as delighted.”

“You know, Eddie and I would love to build a club with your tastes in mind, live wire! If we ever branch out, we’ll name it after you. Just imagine it now, the three of us the owners of the brand new Live Wire Nightclub! No? Not that name? Okay, we’ll workshop it.”

basically they would try to undermine your own brain and get you truly believing that they want a future with you.

it would help somewhat of course, but of course they know that their words alone won’t be enough to break through your trauma. so they’re also patient. as they watch all of the other dateables be realized, they try not to feel jealous and enjoy the time that they have with you.

the less dateables there are in the house, the more you show back up at the club and the more anxious you get. you know that it’s time to realize your partners. you’re just terrified of the outcome.

but you can’t stand the look on Volt’s face anymore when he hears about every other object that gets realized. so you swallow your anxiety, your fear and your trauma, and bite the bullet when it’s finally only you, them and Skylar left.

and imagine your complete surprise and delight when you realize them and they stay around. of course, they go out and try different jobs and find themselves, but they always come home to you at the end of the day.

after the opening of High Voltage Realty, they propose to you that night in bed. they’ve had the ring since they first started making money at the diner, but they know that the moment is right after you’re all coming down from your highs and you finally mention Keith.

you thank them for staying with you, for always being true to themselves and to you, for loving you.

and Eddie just slowly reaches into the nightstand drawer and slips a diamond ring onto your finger.

i had so much fun with this oh my god thank you again anon for prompting me with this!! i might write a full fic but we’ll see after fry my heart lol

[justaz]

yeah no being upset about them doubting his loyalty and trustworthiness is its own little thing. i've just seen so much "bah the seven evil!! they hate nico and want him dead!!" propaganda that it genuinely is so annoying because that's not what happened at all 😭😭

(the below essay isn't me arguing or being mean i'm just yapping because i love dissecting characters and their dynamics, sorry if it sounds mean or passive aggressive at times, it's not meant to be i just don't know how to convey my tone thru text)

they never doubted saving him, they were just wary about how to go about it and yeah jason and leo doubted nico himself which i think is a fair stance for their characters to take considering everything but also just from a pure objective and intellectual stance - that's literally how you make plans. by thinking of any and everything that can go wrong and planning for it. annabeth probably already had micro-plans in the case that something like that was happening. not because she doubts nico as a person but because it pays to plan for literally every possible outcome.

as for the whole nico being a rogue agent and even betraying percy - through percy's eyes, nico did betray him in the last olympian. regardless of the fact that hades manipulated and stabbed nico in the back, nico still took advantage of percy's trust to lure him down into the underworld to gain something from his father - a plan that percy had been fearing since the end of botl. we know that nico didn't expect anything bad to happen to percy, but in percy's eyes, nico still betrayed him and that decision ended up getting percy imprisoned and put literally everything at risk. with percy's fatal flaw being personal loyalty, he was incapable of getting over it and even nico himself says at the end of the river styx scene that percy doesn't trust him anymore.

while i am a firm believer in the complex-brotherly relationship between percy and nico, this is like one of the scenes that strains their dynamic, bianca's death and the "broken promise" (even though percy never broke his promise but that's its own thing) being the other one. the "complex" part really starts to shine here especially because now they've both been "betrayed" by one another but they still do care for one another as nico jumps at the opportunity to make it up to percy and then in the throes of battle percy sends mrs. o'leary to fetch nico. and while they may have made up a little after that and bonded a bit, the next time percy sees nico (in canon text), percy has amnesia and is just trying to find his way home, and nico is lying and pretending he doesn't know percy which was probably so infuriating because percy was grasping at air and here nico was, somene who knew percy but was pretending he didn't.

again, we as the audience know why nico is doing that, but through percy's eyes, nico is consistently being a rogue agent in a way which i think gives his own personal deliberations validation because yeah! to percy, nico's loyalty is always in question because he does his own thing! but he does side with the good guys most of the time! but he did side with minos all those years back which almost resulting in percy and co dying to the titan army. nico sided with hades in luring percy down to his throne room and ended up getting percy imprisoned and putting camp half blood in danger because percy was meant to be their main fighter and kronos and his army were fast approaching. then in camp jupiter, nico was lying and acting shady even though that one turned out alright.

i get being upset about ur fave being doubted, i'm not attacking that at all lol i'm just saying it makes sense in the narrative for these characters to doubt him the way they do. nico is more a rogue agent and always has been. he refuses to stay at either camp and wanders the world and spends more time in the underworld with the dead rather than the living. at least circa mark of athena.

which i can't remember for this part specifically so idk if it was mentioned in canon or not so someone else tap in here - but leo was possessed by the eidolon to fire on new rome. an eidolon being a spirit of the dead. it might offer some more substance to leo's hesitation and doubt in that scene but i can't recall if they figured it out at that point or not so disregard if i'm wrong lol

in conclusion, i don't think it's stupid to be upset abt ur fav character being doubted like this but also from the other characters perspectives it makes sense to question him because from their point of view and limited perceptions of him as well as strategic plan-making processes, doubting him here just makes sense and is completely valid. even with percy. especially with percy imo. i'm honestly surprised annabeth didn't say anything either considering her plan making thing and the whole nico knowing where percy was while she was breaking down for months over his disappearance. but whatever lol

i was honestly just more annoyed at the villanization and hate people spewed regarding the seven for this scene because they want to protect their precious little gay boy who does nothing wrong ever in his life and needs to be coddled because he's perfect and the seven are big evil nasty horrible ugly monsters who laughed in glee when they heard that nico was dying slowly and painfully because they hate him soooooo much. like. no?? that's not what happened?? pick up the books i beg???? nico dickriders and glazers just annoy me so much because they twist canon in order to make nico the perfect angel when he's not!! he's weird and mean and misunderstood and sweet and offputting!!!! stop erasing him and his complex relationships just to make him a perfect sweet little white gay boy!!!! it's like they don't even like the character, just the idea of him. it just feels lowkey fetishizing-y because i swear they only like him because he's gay and dating a boy and white. idk. i enjoy nico's character in canon but nico glazers are the bane of my existence

I beg. Please. Reread the books. I need the reliance on fanon to stop. Canon is right there.

No one “debated saving Nico”. They all agreed immediately to save him:

When Percy was dreaming of Nico trapped in the jar he said: “‘Nico,’ Percy said, ‘where is this place? We'll save you....’” - Literally the first time he sees Nico, he decides that they’re going to save him

Then after Percy tells everyone at the table, their reaction is: “‘The giants are trying to lure us," Annabeth said. ‘They're assuming we'll try to rescue him.’ / ‘Well, they're right!’ Hazel looked around the table, her confidence apparently crumbling. ‘Won't we?’ / ‘Yes!’ Coach Hedge yelled with a mouthful of napkins. ‘It'll involve fighting, right?’ / ‘Hazel, of course we'll help him,’ Frank said. ‘But how long do we have before... uh, I mean, how long can Nico hold out?’” - Of course Hazel agrees immediately, as does Coach Hedge and Frank

After discussing the seeds, Piper says: “‘That's not much time,’ Piper summed up. She put her hand on Hazel's shoulder. ‘We'll find him. At least we know what the lines of the prophecy mean now. 'Twins snuff out the angel's breath, who holds the key to endless death.' Your brother's last name: di Angelo. Angelo is Italian for 'angel.'’” - Piper agrees immediately and brings up the prophecy which reaffirms the importance of Nico and a key part he plays in the quest, which means they need to save him

Percy introspection and final vocal agreement: “Percy stared at his jelly donut. He had a rocky history with Nico di Angelo. The guy had once tricked him into visiting Hades's palace, and Percy had ended up in a cell. But most of the time, Nico sided with the good guys. He certainly didn't deserve slow suffocation in a bronze jar, and Percy couldn't stand seeing Hazel in pain. ‘We'll rescue him,’ he promised her. ‘We have to. The prophecy says he holds the key to endless death.’” - Which is the set up for what people are actually in such an uproar about, the questioning of Nico’s loyalty even though the question is completely valid as Percy points out here. Nico is more a rogue agent, he does his own thing like when he lured Percy down to the Underworld to receive information about his mother. Sure he didn’t know what Hades would do, but Percy didn’t know there was a deviation to the plan in the first place - a plan in which he was already risking his life, trusting in Nico only to be betrayed even if Nico didn’t mean for it to be one.

Argo II scoreboard right now is 5/8 vocally agreeing to save him, no matter what the rest say, the votes are in favor of a rescue mission, especially with the importance the prophecy places on Nico. The only ones who haven’t vocally agreed to save him are Annabeth, Leo, and Jason.

Leo starts the vocal questioning of the safety and security of the plan: “‘Uh...’ Leo shifted in his chair. ‘One thing. The giants are expecting us to do this, right? So we're walking into a trap?’ / Hazel looked at Leo like he'd made a rude gesture. ‘We have no choice!’” - Leo is simply questioning the plan and Hazel reacts viscerally because she’s so focused in on Nico being in danger that the slightest hesitation seems like a worse problem than it is. Nothing against Hazel, I’d react the same way if it was my brother, but still Leo never said “let’s not save this emo loser” he’s just saying that there is a clear threat posed here that they’re walking right up to

Leo and Jason voice the same opinion: “‘Don't get me wrong, Hazel. It's just that your brother, Nico... he knew about both camps, right?’ / ‘Well, yes,’ Hazel said. / ‘He's been going back and forth,’ Leo said, ‘and he didn't tell either side.’ / Jason sat forward, his expression grim. ‘You're wondering if we can trust the guy. So am I.’” - They don’t question saving him, they question the plan and Nico’s loyalty. For good reason. Again, Nico is established more as a rogue agent. Who’s to say he didn’t side with the giants and is in cahoots with them to lure the Seven into this trap for Gaea to bring Bianca or his mother back? They’re pointing out concerns and questions, it’d be idiotic to go into this situation with a half-baked plan and no backups if they don’t consider all possibilities and Nico’s loyalty has always been up in the air which is a huge red flag in this situation

Climax of the “debate”: “Hazel shot to her feet. ‘I don't believe this. He's my brother. He brought me back from the Underworld, and you don't want to help him?’ / Frank put his hand on her shoulder. ‘Nobody's saying that.’ He glared at Leo. ‘Nobody had better be saying that.’ / Leo blinked. ‘Look, guys. All I mean is-‘ / ‘Hazel,’ Jason said. ‘Leo is raising a fair point. I remember Nico from Camp Jupiter. Now I find out he also visited Camp Half-Blood. That does strike me as... well, a little shady. Do we really know where his loyalties lie? We just have to be careful.’” - And then Hazel blows up and storms off. Frank reassured Hazel that no one was saying that then gave Leo the push to make it clear that wasn’t what he was saying and that’s what Leo was going to do (clarifying his point) before Jason cuts in and defends Leo from the offense that Hazel is on. He reaffirms that they’re just questioning his loyalty, they have to be careful when going to rescue him, they never said they would leave him to suffocate and rot.

Please stop this propaganda and reread the books or at least the wiki. I swear fanon has y’all in a goddamn chokehold.

Anyways, here’s the apology scene so y’all will maybe shut up:

“‘…Sometimes demigods make bad choices.’ He looked sheepishly at Hazel. ‘Like sometimes we're too suspicious. And we speak without thinking.’ / Hazel stared at him. Slowly it seemed to dawn on her that he was apologizing. / Jason elbowed Leo. / ‘Ow!’ Leo yelped. ‘I mean, yeah...bad choices. Like not trusting people's brothers who, you know, might need saving. Hypothetically speaking.’” - Apologizing for being suspicious and not trusting Nico, not apologizing for not wanting to save him, apologizing for their suspicious words against Nico’s loyalties hurting Hazel

[sonnet009games]

Patreon Launch Day!

Have you ever wanted to give me more money? What? No? Oh. Well, have you ever wanted to see sneak peeks of upcoming releases, or cut content, or dissections of past work, or Q&As both in- and out-of-character, or other kinds of behind-the-scenes miscellanea? Have you ever wanted to play little interactive mini stories?

Well, today I’m launching the sonnet009games Patreon! It’s only one tier, at £4/month, and that grants you access to everything on offer, including access to polls to vote on future posts.

Here’s the schedule:

1st Sunday of the month: Sneak peek! 2nd Sunday of the month: Vote on next BTS! 3rd Sunday of the month: BTS! 4th Sunday of the month: Q&A chat! For longer months we’ll rotate in an interactive mini story, released on the 5th Sunday of the month!

We’re launching today with a sneak peek, a BTS, and an Incubus interactive mini extra already available!

Find it here!

Why a Patreon? Why now?

It’s hard out here, making a living! I try to keep my games as affordable as possible and always skew toward under-charging when in doubt—I know we’re all struggling! But it does mean splitting my time between game development and a more traditional 9-to-5 to keep me afloat. Plus, as adult-themed games become more contentious, my ability to reach new players diminishes more and more.

A Patreon might just help relieve the financial burden a little, giving me more time to devote to game development and maybe even the ability to do some currently prohibitively expensive things, like invest in multi-platform releases and things like that. That’s the dream.

I also finally have a good idea of something I could offer in return that people might actually be interested in!

What will a Patreon change about this blog?

Absolutely nothing! My inbox is still open and I’ll still be posting all the things I normally do. There is no early access to games or advance notification of upcoming releases. The Patreon is purely additional, if you’d like to throw me some extra support and/or if you’re interested in any of the exclusive content on offer.

In fact, you'll even be getting a little extra over here on tumblr, since I'll be sharing the best parts of the Q&As here afterward!

So, basically, if you are financially able and interested in supporting sonnet009games as it endures and grows, that would be something truly amazing and I don’t have the words to tell you what it’d mean to me! And if you can’t or don’t want to, I totally understand! I love all of you for just being here; for buying and playing my games; for sharing your thoughts and theories; for asking questions and making fanworks and, really, just spending even a moment thinking about these worlds and characters that I’m so excited to share with you. <3 Thank you!

Find my Patreon here!

[yurireviews]

I ask this to give you a chance in this industry, review buttonblossom. Do this of you'll never make it far.

watch this star rise, old man

BUTTONBLOSSOM YURI REVIEW

i've seen a LOT of fake yuri-heads losing faith in buttonblossom, claiming "pomni doesn't like ragatha", "ragatha's desperate for ANYONE to like her, pomni isn't special".. but you're wrong you're all wrong.. i am here to prove to YOU beyond a shadow of a doubt that buttonblossom is endgame and to call for the immediate beheading of that evil evil purple rabbit

EVIDENCE 1 - RAGATHA IS NICE TO POMNI BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE.

she puts up with a LOT from her. pomni has left her for dead and been frankly standoffish towards the woman and she does not falter in her kindness towards her (With some exceptions that are guaranteed to knock your socks off!)

to the untrained eye this is just ragatha doing her ragatha shit BUT this is when you need to turn your attention to the coveted SPUDSY'S episode. in this episode we see ragatha at her most unfiltered because she under the influence of the stupid sauce (the sauce that makes you stupid)

this sauce really changes a woman. ragatha starts throwing plates, screaming at customers, shouting profanities. i was frightened! i don't think ragatha's to blame for this - i think the spudsy's corporation needs to be held accountable but that's neither here nor there.

the point is is that she lets her true emotions show and ends up being rude to the entire cast

she calls zooble a grouch,

tells gangle that she finds her annoying when she has her happy mask on (she said NO OFFENSE though so shut UP),

and tells jax that she hates him but doesn't want him to hate HER (jax seems strangely moved by this for whatever reason???) so all around this episode implies that ragatha's actions and her kindness tend to be a bit disingenuous in some cases BUT her actions towards pomni are a whole hell of a lot different when she's high

the WORST, most unfiltered thing ragatha can say about pomni is that "she's FLIRTING with the gummy guy cause she would rather be with an NPC than with US." ragatha is slightly annoyed by other people's quirks but when it comes to pomni her criticism is 'she should be spending more time with ME, why doesn't she like ME'. and then she has the nerve to say that she wishes someone would flirt with her and that pomni could be gayer.. and here the woke left is trying to tell me that this is just a one-sided friendship.. that's pathetic

exception number 2 leads us into our next piece of evidence which is

EVIDENCE 2 - THAT EVIL PURPLE RABBIT THINKS HE'S PART OF THE LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP

everytime they turn around his skinny, purple ass is there BOTHERING them... he's desperately trying to cling to relevancy by having gay tension with ragatha and being endeared by pomni because she reminds him of his dead friend but i'm not falling for his propaganda... and you may be thinking 'yurireview what does HE have to do with this... this better be good...' but my reasoning is solid. the way these two react and act around this man when they're together is very yuriful.

ragatha is aware pomni isn't her ride or die or anything but in the untitled episode she's atleast confident that it's them against jax and that if she can rely on anything atleast she's better than jax, people like her more, etc. she's also strangely posessive of pomni....like relax she's not going anywhere.... but then like two seconds later her world's turned upside down cause pomni takes HIS side after telling her it's okay to be an asshole sometimes

this leads her to SCREAM at pomni for the first and only time EVER because the mere idea that this rabbit man can steal her lesbian jester lover just by being a LITTLE BIT vulnerable towards her once is making her lose her goddamned mind... she's about to be on the digital circus news.. she DOES make sure to apologize right away and seems downright mortified by her actions...but the betrayal doesn't fully sink in until she sees pomni laugh at him mauling a man to death

this moment convinced both ragatha and the entire digital circus audience that pomni has chosen a side and that side was AGAINST her but we need to rewind these tapes... we need to turn back time... we forgot to look at things from POMNI'S point of view...

EVIDENCE 3 - What does Pomni have to say about all of this???

if this woman was leader and founder of the ragatha hate group like you all claim she is why does she gravitate towards her? why is she always attached to this woman's hip? huh? riddle me that, liberals..

pomni IS trying to include her and make her feel better about stuff.. the only reason why her offer to let ragatha bat for her didn't successfully cheer her up is because ragatha doesn't want to win the game and save the circus she wants HER! and when looks back to the stands to see jax and pomni talking she forgets about the kind gesture

we need to rewind the tape even further back to the iconic third episode... kinger tells pomni about his wife and tells her that it's sooo important to cherish those around you because they could abstract at any second

"In this world, the worst thing you can do is... make someone think they're not wanted or loved."

and what does pomni run and do?

she tells ms. ragatha thank you for always being concerned for her and that she feels as if she hasn't been appreciative enough of her.. this means that pomni not only WANTS ragatha but she LOVES her even if she hasn't put two and two together yet her subconscious is certainly doing the work for her..

pomni to ragatha is like a moth to a flame... if you truly sit and think about it

CONCLUSION

we have yet to seen the last of these lesbians. i can sense that they have not hit 'peak-gay' yet but are rapidly approaching that level. if i had any idea of what this future gay scene may entail it would be reflected in my rating but the sad truth is is that my yuri solider had not returned from glitch productions hq.. they shot and killed her as she was escaping with the future episode scripts.... so sad! so i can only go off of what we have..

this is just the button of a blossoming relationship

7/10

yuritastic!

[patriarchy-academy]

You might have heard of this one

Show me a 42 year old Lockheed Martin executive who wants to leave it all and become a tradwife

Let 's talk about it, shall we?

First of all, lets admit this upfront. Anybody - man or woman - who gets to a very high position in a very established, large, billion dollar company needs to make a LOT of compromises in life.

These compromises inevitably include havign to sacrfice your family for your career. You wont be there at your children's school programs. Or your spouses's difficult day. Or parent teacher meetings. You may be at some, if you really manage well. But most of the times, you wont. Thats just plain reality - this is not even a gender thing. There are only 24 hours in a day, and running a billion dollar company takes about 18-20 of those hours. Yes, seriously.

Now, if as a result of making all those sacrifices over decades, branding yourself a poor spouse and poor parent, got you to the top position in the world, some may feel that there was some compensation for all that grind. Some recuperation of all that was lost along the way. I assure you, the children of such people feel very differently. But I doubt if they would care.

Sure, good for them I guess. They got at least something in return.

But, here's the catch. This highly advertised, golden fate of "being a boss woman" that is being laid out in front of you - this will happen to less than 5% of women. You read that right. Less than 5%.

Some of them will get along ok. Rent a house. Pay bills. Have a little savings for a holiday once in a while, if they are allowed to have one. Thats what their life will look like for 40 years. And, this is the good case. The happy one. Maybe 20%. 25, at best.

The rest of them, the rest, vast, 70% of women who bought into this dream - lets talk about the reality. They will spend 40 years of their lives doing 2, maybe even 3 jobs. They will struggle to pay rent. They will barely be able to afford groceries. They will freeze in winter because they cannot afford heating. They will get fired from one day to another and go begging for jobs to survive. They will live on medication to be able to get up and go to work each day. They will gradually burn out, fall behind, cause each year their workplaces will demand more and more and more from them.

They will go through all this than stop and think - is this actually making me happy? Is this really what my life was supposed to be about? Because it has been put in their head that withdrawing from this nightmare is basically accepting failure

This is what a responsible patriarchal society is trying to make you avoid. I have no desire, and no support, for a societal system that systematically exploits people by showing them false dreams and fake hopes without ever talking about the reality of that world.

So, the reason 42 year old executive (by the way, most executives are 55+ years old, the people who wrote this dont even seem to know this) isnt leaving to become a trad wife?

One, because she got something in return - something that 95% of her "fan following" will NEVER have.

And two, because its too late for her to admit it. Too late for her to have a fulfilling family life. Too late for her to have children. Too late for her to have anything meaningful other than her imagined corporate legacy to live by. After all, a human needs something to cling to - so she clings to her title.

ASk yourself carefully girls -

are you sure you will be in that 5%?

do you want the life of the remaining 95%?

(via 6e39c2d45595098987a93b96d6d5b425.jpg (1000×1500))

[itsgirlcraft]

Chat I just found out I might have to go ~2 weeks without adhd meds ;-;

Which means I have to ration out them now so I can survive my first month of college :'(

If you catch me crashing out or I'm low energy/barely interacting assume it's that 😭

[daftpatience]

one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it

[g1rluninterruptedd]

you could’ve immediately come out the gate with this to actually dive into your point

I made that intro post almost a year ago when i did consider myself a wholehearted radfem. the more i read, the more i see, the more i change. that’s all. trans men are included in my feminism, which is why i say im not a TERF but also not exactly a TIRF because i don’t find that the way i express my feminism includes trans women. it never has and i doubt it ever truly will 

I do understand it, im a female myself i’ve seen whats it’s done but im also not gonna treat women like they’re completely stupid and it feels very anti feminist for me to behave that way. 

I still want to fight for those women, regardless. I don’t think it’s wholeheartedly a waste of time but i also won’t go to the lengths i used to in hopes they’ll change. I’m still gonna do what i can to understand them, but naturally i think im going to spend more time with women who genuinely want out. Me wanting to fight for them doesn’t suddenly make them my “sister” though. And yes, i am gonna tell ppl to fuck off if they expect me to be okay watching women hurt other women for male approval, ie blaming other women when they get assaulted, not believing them, and engaging with uplifting the man who assaulted them. for example, a woman who bashed amber heard ended up getting abused by her BF. of course i recognize she didn’t deserve it, it wasn’t her fault. however, i did also find it nasty the way she mocked amber heard testimony. you are not my sister, but i will still support you

and as i previously stated, most of this stems from me being a black girl, not just a girl. i feel like within this community, women like that do more harm than some many realize. black women are already treated like shit, and i can’t fully support other black women who are willing to kick them while they’re done.

also it was just meant to be a one and done tumblr post, not one of my longer takes. i don’t feel the need to say a million and one things to express my thoughts all the time

like i said, that’s just how i personally rock n roll. 🤷‍♀️ i don’t expect others to agree, that’s just the way i see it all.

if you don’t like the tags i use, awesome! block me but this is tumblr and i wanna use them and im sorry if you don’t like that but imma keep doing it

i support women who support female solidarity. i don’t support women who put male feelings over fellow women. “but women are socialized to xyz” women are not stupid beings that can’t control themselves, think for yourself. if you are willing to backstab the women i love instead of standing with them, why the fuck would i call you my “sister” ?? fuck you??

[pinkseas]

god. being told "yeah i like being your friend :) i love talking to you i like it when youre around yeah you can join us yeah we want you here yeah we care about you" by people who very clearly very blatantly do not gaf about you will srsly fuck a girl up for Years 😭😭😭

[electricxmayhem]

maybe it’s partially exacerbated by my therapists multi session run of attempting to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me cos i haven’t dated anyone. and he doesn’t like my answer that dating would eat into my chilling and spending time with my friends time.

[longagoitwastuesday]

I am liking Jujutsu Kaisen, way more than I imagined I would, but I foresee it will let me down and it's keeping me from enjoying this as much as I could haha

I think the characters and dynamics are well set, and I think many of them have an incredibly good and deep potential, but I would be willing to bet they'll not get a proper development, enough for them to really hit. A well assembled set of gears is not enough to make the movement go, you have to wind the clockwork.

I think Gojo and Megumi have a fascinating and very complex dynamic, but I doubt it will be given the time and care that imo it needs to actually work. And it is going well enough for now! One could see the intimacy between them was deeper than the one Gojo had with, say, Yuji and Nobara ever since the very first few episodes despite the fact Fushiguro too was a first year. But the pieces forming what they have are extremely complex, and it just wouldn't be realistic if it doesn't show, even if in a not showing way, or if it doesn't have consequences or implications.

It's one of those dynamics that shape one's life, the way one regards the world, the way one establishes or not relationships with other people. It's one of those dynamics that could be full of fondness, gratitude, resentment, admiration, trust, and that imply intimacy, the good kind or the bad, even if in just the knowledge of someone who's been a constant through your life. It could, and would, imply a myriad of feelings, and probably in such a mix it could imply contradictory feelings too. Even the nothingness would weight, even the nothingness would be significant and meaningful.

Gojo took Megumi and his sister under his wing, the son of a man who murdered him, because of both selfish and selfless reasons. Megumi looks like Toji. What does Gojo feel about this? How does Gojo deal with this? How does Gojo go about taking care of Megumi? Would he walk him to school? Make him breakfast? Celebrate his birthdays making him blow candles? Did he take him to the zoo? Does the relationship between them feel professional or is it something more? Gojo appreciates his students, but is Megumi to him just another student? When Gojo faces Sukuna in Megumi's body, did he see the kid he raised, or does he just see Sukuna in one of his students' body? Did he have one faint wavering instant? And how does Megumi feel about this? Is he resentful of him? Resentful of the situation? Of the selfishness behind his actions? Does he feel like a pawn? Is he grateful? Does he resent feeling grateful? Would he rather not? Does he love Gojo? Does he feel nothing about him other than what he could feel about a teacher that sort of annoys him but knows he's reliable in his strength? Does he think it unfair, cruel or unfeeling that Gojo is close, closer perhaps, with Yuuji or Yuta, considering their story? When Sukuna slices Gojo in two, does the remnants of Megumi's soul tremble?

And not just Megumi and Gojo. Yuuji and Nanami, Gojo and Nanami, Yuuji and Fushiguro, Nobara and the boys, or Nobara and Maki, Todo and Yuuji or Yuta, Gojo and Yuta, Megumi and his sister. Gojo and Geto, even! If the pieces are well set, the dynamics are intriguing, interesting, and have potential to be deep, but then the characters have like two plot relevant scenes that punch you hard, but little more, it's not nearly enough. Especially not nearly enough for the enormity that is shonen dynamics and situations. And the potential existing at all, and then not delivering, makes it all the more frustrating when you're left with something mediocre that could have been so good.

The development of dynamics through not only a few plot relevant gut wrenching moving scenes, but also the smallness of life, is important. The friend who recommended this to me said that those things were just unnecessary filler, but I disagree. I think there's a big difference between a large amount of anime-only filler episodes whose existence is based on the fact they had run out of manga chapters to animate, and moments of quietness. The low stakes character-driven moments of quietness can be so telling and so insightful, and they are so satisfactory when brought back later in higher stakes situations. My friend teased me there was no scene of Gojo making breakfast to Megumi, that it would be an idiotic idea, but it would be so telling. How he makes breakfast, what they eat, if he tries hard or if it's all mechanised, if they have personal bowls or if they use whatever, if he just buys them some pastry on the way to school, if the way they have breakfast changes through the years, or if he doesn't make them breakfast at all! All that would be very insightful on their dynamic and its evolution. All that would give a glimpse on how they regard each other and why, even in the present. All that could become meaningful in tense situations and high stakes scenes.

These moments also let the plot breath; if a lot is happening all the time, if every character is always experiencing trauma after trauma, the entire story is so emotionally draining that at some point you don't even care all that much. Besides, these nothing moments or low stakes plot arcs, besides deepening and developing dynamics, also let some in-world time pass, which would make the intimacy and bond between characters more believable imo; between Yuuji eating Sukuna's finger and their last confrontation in December how much time has passed? A few months? Am I truly to believe these characters are so everything to each other in only a few months?

Without some smallness, some repetition, some daily life, some low stakes not plot-centric development, the dynamics don't hit, they don't truly feel fleshed out, and dynamics as complex as the ones Megumi and Gojo have, or as supposedly meaningful as the one Megumi has with Yuuji or his sister, should be fleshed out if they're going to exist at all. Otherwise they'd risk making the writing feel awkward and fake. Besides, if the dynamics felt well fleshed out and realistic, they would shape the way the characters interact and act, and how they deal with situations, thus being plot relevant.

The shonen genre has so much happening all the time, the stakes are so high, the dynamics are so rooted in big events and the relationships carry enormous weight and implications. Yet they barely get developed, and it feels so stupid, so plain, the absence of something so important noticeable like a constant void, a shapeless nothingness present in every scene. It makes the characters feel like cardboard figures. Jujutsu Kaisen is already getting a better job than many, but I doubt it will do enough for what I've heard, and I fear I am bound to feel let down, and bound to feel unmoved.

After all, if not enough time and care has been given to develop a dynamic, I am not going to feel pressured by the high stakes; if not enough time and care has been given to develop the dynamic between Megumi and Yuuji, as good potential as it has I am bound to feel little for this last confrontation between Sukuna and Itadori, and his effort in getting Megumi back.

[mochinon-yah]

I think i'm just full of repressed aggression, and it's all slowly seeping out every time i interact with the world

[notmoreflippingelves]

So I know, I know, we all hate it when people add comments and especially lengthy ones to posts that are no openly encouraging them. Nevertheless, I'm gonna do so in this particular case because the novel that I was writing in the tags just got too too long and I was frighteningly close to the tag limit.

The things that would fix Esteban Flores are (in roughly this order)

A found family (preferably one totally divorced from connections to his bio family) and/or a small child to take care of.

A heartfelt apology from his biological family (definitely Luisa, probably Elena, and maybe Francisco as well).

A hug x1000

Being shaken

Enough sleep

But most especially the first two.

Esteban's issues stem from being made to feel like an afterthought and/or an obligation to his family of origin. In his mind, he was not chosen or wanted. He was liked, loved even--but he was loved because he was familia--not because he was Esteban. He was not enough in and of himself, especially not when compared to Elena.

Do you know why he continued to tend the cacao trees during the Dark Times? Yes, it was out of love for his family, but I think there's a bit more to it than that. His abuela shared something private and meaningful (i.e. how to take care of the cacao trees) with him that she didn't also share with Elena. He was welcomed into Luisa's world--if only for a moment. This was his, the rare thing that he didn't have to sacrifice to or share with Elena. No one could take this away from him--the moment of feeling seen and chosen. Not even the fact that this moment was very very much an anomaly and the rest of his youth (and his adulthood) consisted of him being shoved into the corner of some family portraits and left out of others entirely---and no one noticing this for years.

In "Something I Would Never Do," Esteban outright states "Years ago/ I did not know/Just how much they cared for me." He's just now realizing after 40+ years that his family just might love him (50+ years if you go back to when Esteban moved into palace); he's genuinely surprised about it and terrified that he's going to fuck it all up. Yes, Esteban has atrocious self-esteem, but these impressions did not come from nothing. Even now, his family keeps him largely at arm's length. He doesn't appear (or isn't even mentioned) in the two family vacation episodes, suggesting he was left behind. His Navidad plans (the ones he has been dreaming of , all alone for 41 years!) are rejected outright by Luisa, and no one even bothers to ask what the Dark Times were like or how he is coping. Everything has changed and yet nothing has changed. He's there, sometimes he is shown attention and affection, but he's still made to feel that he's not really a part of the family in the same way the others were.

All this is pretty bad in and of itself, but it's made worse by the fact that he's not getting his emotional needs fulfilled from outside the family any more than he is within it. As far as we can tell, Esteban's only real friends as a child were Elena and Victor. (Maybe Felicia as well, but she was far more Elena's friend than his). And neither Victor nor Elena could give Esteban what he needed: the feeling of being liked and chosen for himself and that alone.

Elena is family--the same family has made Esteban feel like an afterthought and obligation, merely liked at best and tolerated at worst. But that's oversimplifying things. Elena is also the impossible gold standard that Esteban will always be measuring himself against. (And it's especially galling that she was 1-2 years younger than him, and he was still nowhere near her level). She's the favorite (and Luisa is not subtle about hiding that fact), the priority, the important one. She's the one who has always been and will always be secure in power and confidence and their familia's love--the exact opposite of Esteban.

Victor, meanwhile, was a horrible influence on Esteban, and not just where Shuriki was concerned. His selfishness rubbed off on his amigo, and his competitiveness and callousness brought out every one of Esteban's insecurities and worst tendencies. It's also very strongly implied that their friendship (at least on Victor's side) was rooted in how 'useful' Esteban was. Through El Segundo, Victor got closer to power/the crown and also found someone that he could feel "superior" to. Someone that Victor could consistently beat at races, so that he could feel like a winner. Someone who wouldn't tell Victor to go to hell if he subjected unflattering nicknames upon.

So yeah, Esteban's childhood primary source of affection/attention outside his family were two people who exacerbated Esteban's already huge inferiority complex. One of whom was part of said family that enabled said inferiority complex in the first place, and the other of whom is wrapped up in the event that caused Esteban to lose his family as well.

And then, Elena was trapped in the amulet and Victor was banished from Avalor, and Esteban was without anyone at all for 41 years. His primary source of attention and affection during this time was the woman who conquered his kingdom and took away his family. Someone who had preyed upon his vulnerabilities from the very start and who kept him alive only so long as he remains obedient and "useful" to her. There's nothing even remotely close to equal or mutual about this dynamic, and Shuriki did even more damage on Esteban's already battered psyche than all of the others combined and multiplied by ten.

Even after Shuriki is gone, Esteban still doesn't have anyone in his life that voluntarily chose to be in his life. His entire social circle is comprised of people that he knows through his family and/or his role as chancellor (and later his magical abilities). There's Naomi, except there isn't, because their dynamic is rooted exclusively in their shared devotion to Elena and their roles on the Grand Council (which is also directly tied to Elena).

Similarly, Doña Paloma interacts with Esteban almost exclusively in reference to his role as Chancellor. Would she give him the time of day if he had no political power or influence?. Doubtful, especially as she seems to really dislike him most of the time. There's a bit more potential for a genuine friendship to develop with Julio or Professor Mendoza, but again, these connections were formed through Esteban's job and we don't really see any interactions that aren't in service to that.

Higgins is explicitly Esteban's employee and given how insensitive he can be to Esteban, it seems unlikely that he has any real non-professional loyalty or affection to him. Same with Armando, except things do seem to a bit more cordial between them.

Esteban seems to have a good rapport with Avalor's allies, especially Toshi and Shoji, but these are unlikely to be anything more than friendly diplomatic connections and ones separated by distance.

So yeah, my boy literally does not interact with a single character on the show without at least one of them doing so out of obligation/duty/job requirement and/or ulterior motive. Fifty years later and almost nothing has changed, Esteban still has nothing and no one to call his own.

[racke7]

Roleplaying in DOS2

As is known by now, I have a lot of opinions about Divinity 2. Both its story and its combat-mechanics.

But it occurred to me today that one of the big reasons I just can't get into the roleplaying-part of this game is that... it's romance-based.

Oh, you don't have to seduce your companions, but it's still working on that same affection-meter you might expect from a dating-sim. Except now it's set in a world where there are way more important things to worry about.

See, when a VN you play has romance in it? That's not between "you" and the "target", it's between the "main-character" and the "target". They often already have a long and complicated history together, and at best you're just kind of there as a peeping-tom and an excellent wing-man.

The main-character is so clearly defined in the text, that projecting yourself onto them is a bit like projecting yourself onto a random rock you found on the ground. You can maybe do it, but like... why.

In a more open-world RPG? This isn't really the case anymore. You're a blank-slate (even if you play an origin-character, the complete freedom from their "original" selves just sends you back to being a blank-slate).

You create this character, and you decide on what it should be considering "important".

(This is a lot harder in DOS2 than Skyrim, because it's a lot more rail-roaded. So you can't just "opt out" of interacting with things that "don't apply" to your character.)

And you do this by playing the game and picking dialogue-options that don't contradict them too much. Except, with how Divinity works as an open-world game where you're basically doing all of the quests and then murdering all of the quest-givers for a few more slivers of EXP?

It's blatantly obvious to anyone that the main thing on the main-character's mind? It's murder.

They might be delighting in it, or they might just be trying to murder people for money and loot, or you might be trying to help people out a bit on your way to divinity. But at the end of the day, the character you're playing as is mostly concerned about killing or not-killing people.

Romance? The world is under siege, people are dying every minute, you need to figure out if this person is more useful to you dead or alive, how can you get strong enough to survive the onslaught-...

You have priorities, is what I'm saying. And then the game wants you to listen to the emotional opinions about a bunch of people whose opinions of you is the only thing keeping them from becoming an active obstacle to you.

It's a fucking dating-sim, is what I'm saying. And even if it's simplistic, the result is that your companions are always teetering on the edge of becoming inconvenient, in a world and situation where you're actively murdering everyone who isn't convenient.

So, whereas in Skyrim I can roleplay as a mercenary, or a thief, or a mage almost entirely through gameplay alone? In DOS2 I'm mainly limited in roleplaying about if I want to fuck a skeleton, or an elf, or if I want to be a racist-lizard's side-piece.

Now, this isn't true if you discard the origin-characters and play with a friend (or friends), because then your main goal can be about saving the world, or claiming the power of Divinity all to yourself, or about trying to scam your friends out of as much cash as you can manage, or even something patently ridiculous like "collect all cheese in the world" (because your friends will be the one forcing the story to progress, and you're just following them around for more cheese-opportunities).

But for recruiting a bunch of origin-characters? It always circles back to romance, and it's-...

Look, I get that this is fine for a lot of people? DOS2 comes from a culture where "I roll to seduce" is a common approach, but like... there's a reason that I've only ever gotten married once in all of my Skyrim-playthroughs (and I immediately went from "married" to "settled down enough that there's no point in playing as them anymore").

Romance in an RPG? Miss me with that shit, let me be a crazy roving band of murder-hobos in peace.

So yeah, these feelings? I'm pretty sure that this plays a very big part in why I find it so difficult to actually get deep into this game. I don't want to seduce anyone, I don't want to sit back and watch from a distance how an origin-character has a deep character-evolving chat with some quest-npc.

I just want to make decisions about life-or-death in an endless quest for power.

[calico-kiwi]

someone save me helllpppppp

[seriousbusiness4130]

also major fuck you at any and all who started using the word autistic as a synonym for something or just someone being stupid.

seriously what the fuck is wrong with you people 😒

fuck everyone who's started saying the r slur again i hate you and i hope your life falls apart and you die alone