#Best Cream For Dark Skin Tone 2020 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

love-skincareroutine · 4 years

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Best Cream For Dark Skin Tone

New Post has been published on https://skin-care-routine.com/best-cream-for-dark-skin-tone/best-cream-for-dark-skin-tone-2/

Best Cream For Dark Skin Tone

A. The 13 Best Sunscreens for Dark Skin Tones That Don’t Leave a White Cast

One of the biggest (and in our opinion the most dangerous) beauty myths? People with darker skin tones do not need sun protection on a daily basis. But here’s the truth: although melanin provides some sun protection for darker skin tones, it is not enough to ward off these harmful rays. This means that anyone, regardless of skin tone, can develop skin cancer – which, according to a study by the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology, tends to result in worse outcomes for black women, as cancer is usually diagnosed at a later stage. Not to mention that SPF is an important part of any skin care routine, because “with cumulative sun exposure you may notice increased expression lines, decreased elasticity and discoloration”, says dermatologist Dr. Meena Singh, MD .

Now we know that not all sunscreens are created equal – and in the past many of these options were not made with melanin in mind, making them look meaty and unfavorable. The good news, however, is that thanks to recent advances in innovative textures (think sticks and serums with a clear SPF, colorful creams and non-greasy gel formulas), more and more skin care companies are offering sunscreens that do not leave a white glow. (As a reminder, you don’t need a bottle of SPF 100; SPF 30 broadband is enough).

To help you choose an invisible SPF that’s right for you, we’ve found (and tested) the best sunscreens for darker skin tones, including a 50 SP tinted CC cream, a cheap sunscreen and moisturizer hybrid, a beautiful balm for lips with sun protection factor and sunscreen for and by women of color.

1. Black own parasol

a. Moisturizing sunscreen Ultra Sheer SPF 30

A sunscreen for women’s dark skin. The formula is completely clear and gives a beautiful glow to the skin. For moisturizing without being oily or sticky, it is an effective makeup base.

b. Umbra Pure Physical Defense

Zinc oxide is the gold standard for sunscreens. It blocks a larger area of sunlight than titanium dioxide and can be more stable. However, zinc is difficult to formulate in a portable sunscreen, especially on darker skin, as it is very white. This formula gets it right. It disappears on the skin, even with the dark color of the skin. Mineral sunscreens are especially useful for dark skin, as they deflect heat, which worsens hyperpigmentation, says Dr. Singh.

c. Defense Refresh Setting Mist SPF 50

Dr. Singh points out that the sunscreen must be reapplied throughout the day (especially every two hours) to maintain protection. It looks good for a day at the beach, but how about a day at the office? Spray this spray directly on your makeup – it will update your appearance and protect your skin.

2. Best parasol for face

a. Anthelios Clear Skin Dry Touch Sun Protection SPF 60

This lightweight chemical sunscreen contains no oxybenzone and is designed for oily skin. It absorbs silica and helps you stay free of radiation.

b. Green Defense Daily Solar Mineral Protection

A mixture of titanium dioxide and zinc oxide (with an antioxidant boost from Echinacea) creates a protective shield on the skin that not only blocks the sun’s harmful rays, but also blocks visible light from digital devices (which also accelerate aging) . “I prefer mineral-based sunscreens or physical blockers that contain zinc oxide or titanium dioxide because they provide better protection against discoloration and dark spots,” says Dr. Singh.

c. Clear Ultra-Light Daily Fluid SPF 30+

“Since many of my patients are prone to greasiness and acne, I always recommend checking the labels and making sure that the products are oil-free and non-comedogenic,” said Dr. Singh. This ultralight sunscreen gives both boxes and contains a liquid texture that hydrates and is instantly absorbed.

3. Best umbrella for hyperpigmentation

a. Hydra Vizor Invisible moisturizer of broad spectrum with sun protection SPF 30

Still not convinced that you need to use SPF every day? Maybe that will convince you: Rihanna says that. “The biggest misconception about SPF is that blacks don’t need it,” she told OprahMag.com last year. “And as a black woman, I’m here to say it’s a lie. I hope the melanin community, like everyone else, knows that SPF is for everyone and every day. That’s why she created this 2 in 1 moisturizer and sunscreen that combines reef-friendly SPF 30 with niacinamide (to reduce the appearance of dark spots), hyaluronic acid (for hydration) and aloe vera (to soothe).

4. Best parasol for sensitive skin

a. Complete daily broadband SPF 30

“I usually recommend the use of moisturizing sunscreens for dry skin. Most sunscreen moisturizers for the face can do this, ”says Dr. Singh. This oil-free and fragrance formula with zinc oxide has more than 300 five-star reviews on ulta.com.

b. Invisible shield

Sunscreens (you know who you are) now officially have no more excuses: this antioxidant-rich sunscreen clearly works (meaning you don’t even have to worry about whiteness) and is made with active microcapsules that act and are instantly absorbed by the skin and leaves no sticky or greasy residue.

c. CC + cream with sun protection factor 50+

This all-in-one cream is powered by mineral sunscreens and is Dr. Singh’s current point of contact. “There are shades for each skin tone, they work as a concealer and are free of oil with a matte finish”, she says.

d. Hands screen FPS 40

Your hands also need sun protection! Although it is powered by chemical screens, there is no oxybenzone. It also contains sea buckthorn fruit extract and argan oil for extra moisture.

e. Lip sugar sunscreen with SPF 15

The lips also need sun protection. Moisturize and protect them with this lip balm from Fresh. Beeswax, jojoba oil, black currant seed oil and sugar give this balm its creamy and moisturizing base, while SPF 15 does the job of sun protection. In addition, the balm is available in more than 10 beautiful shades (read: Lips don’t look gray).

5. Best sunscreen primer

a. Full spectrum Matte Ambition Skin Primer SPF 20

For those moments when your makeup needs to last all day, this mattifying primer with SPF is the right choice. It is not white, it goes smoothly and absorbs excess oil. The finish is matte without looking dry. A win-win situation!

B. These Are the Best BB Creams for Dark Skin Tones on the Market

In my research, in total transparency, it was not an easy task to find good BB creams with shadows. Needless to say, more work definitely needs to be done to diversify options for black women. Now that you can’t, let’s move on to what you’re looking for: formulas suitable for brunette girls. BB creams are essentially for the intermediate. You know, those who are not in full coverage formulas, but still want a little help with their skin. The best thing about BB creams – either beauty balms or stain balms – is that they are made with a close-up approach.

BB creams pamper your skin with good things like sun protection, antioxidants and lots, lots of moisture. Basically, a staple for a cold month, they keep your skin glowing all the time. Most formulas are smooth and creamy, so you can easily mix some of them with your hands. Below are our tips for the best BB creams for dark skin tones.

1. Overall, the best: bareMinerals Complexion Rescue moisturizing gel with SPF 30

If you can’t choose between BB cream, CC cream and colorful moisturizer, this multitasking balm may be just what you’ve been waiting for. It has the sensation of gel on the skin and is one of the widest color palettes on the market. BareMinerals keeps you in harmony with natural formulas that contain no harmful fragrances and ingredients.

2. Best for oily skin: CoverGirl Clean Matte BB Cream

This provides a perfect covering mist for a comfortable matte finish. It should smooth your skin without adding shine to keep oil production under control.

3. Best for acne-prone skin: Clinique Acne Solutions BB Cream Broad Spectrum SPF 40

If you don’t seem to be recovering from acne or a shiny T-zone, choose this mattifying BB cream, specifically designed to solve these skin problems. You can expect light to medium coverage that will do a good job of hiding imperfections, but will make you forget that it is there.

4. Best for dark spots: NARS Pure Radiant Tinted Moisturizer SPF 30

NARS has always been friendly with brown girls. This soft, velvety texture works well to hide signs of discoloration or dark spots and to hide fine lines and wrinkles.

5. Best drugstore: IMAN Cosmetics Skin Tone Evener BB Cream

Vitamin C is an essential nutrient necessary for the growth and repair of tissues in all parts of the body, including the skin. However, we cannot produce it ourselves. For the skin, it helps promote collagen, relieves discoloration and fights free radicals.

Iman always covered the brunette girls with his perfect dark line. This BB cream is no different and you can be sure that your healthy selection of ingredients will suit even the most sensitive skin. It is a paraben-free blend made with lots of vitamin C and antioxidants to help your skin maintain a youthful appearance with internal lighting.

6. Best coverage: Black Radiance True Complexion BB Creme SPF 15

This beauty balm has been specially developed for darker skin tones with ingredients that enrich the skin that fuse this makeup product into a skin care product. The light, oil-free cover leaves a simple but adjustable finish with SPF 15. You can use this product as a full-complexion intensifier or treat areas that need extra love.

7. Better finish with dew: Smashbox Camera Ready BB Cream SPF 35

Plasticizers act as softening and moisture binding agents, such as butter, oils, esters, lipids and fatty acids. It can also be used to describe a category of products that contain these ingredients, such as lotions, creams and ointments.

Smashbox doesn’t joke when it comes to reporting. This BB cream gives you a natural-looking shine as if I had woken up thanks to the shine you get from its emollients and pearl optical pigments. Apply as much as you want. The texture is so creamy that you can even use your hands.

8. Best quality: Bobbi Brown BB Cream SPF 35

Bobbi Brown kept an eye on all colors with this moisturizer. Wrap your skin in moisture with all the emollients contained in this tube. This is essentially a sparkle shot for your skin. It has a moist consistency that keeps sun damage under control.

9. Best CC cream: IT Cosmetics CC + cream with sun protection factor 50+

Although it is technically a CC cream, it gives your skin the warmest hug to create the effect that we all crave so much. It does an exceptional job of leveling your skin tone and working overtime with SP 50 and anti-aging benefits.

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voiceless-terror · 4 years

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Going Back (The Magnus Archives)

Whumptober 2020 Day Thirty: Wound Reveal

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Characters: Jonathan Sims, Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood

Summary:

“I can’t even feel it anymore, really. She just liked to see what colors she could make me turn.”

Martin could’ve thrown up.

Jon returns from the Circus through Helen’s hallways. Martin and Tim see the aftermath.

The room wouldn’t stop spinning.

He kept it together just long enough to get Melanie out of Elias’s office. Jonathan Sims, Human Shield. Who would’ve thought it?

But now, stumbling down to the Archives, he wasn’t so sure. Everything was scrambled, neither here nor there. His arm throbbed and the hallway tilted, or perhaps he tilted. Wouldn’t that be funny? Just walking sideways down the hall while everyone stared. Don’t mind me! He let out an involuntary giggle- did it echo? Like Helen’s voice echoed? Like poor Michael’s? No, not ‘poor Michael.’ He tried to kill you!

Right, right.

He was getting some looks. Jon was starting to get used to this whole ‘pariah’ business. He was never the most social person, but people would still greet him in the hallways. Now, though. Now they just stared and whispered. It’s not their fault, of course. He knows he doesn’t look good. Jon hadn’t seen a mirror in a good long while, but he certainly wasn’t feeling good, The Circus had done a number on him and it’s not like he had time to make himself presentable before going back to the office. The Distortion wouldn’t have allowed them to make pit stops. Be funny if it did, though.

He laughed again, stumbling into a wall. A woman looked as if she wanted to help, reaching out an arm that was slapped away by her companion. “Leave him,” the man whispered. He was right to. Jon was starting to think this whole avatar business was contagious.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered back in an attempt to be reassuring. It probably would have come off better if his voice didn’t have the consistency of sandpaper. “I’ll be gone soon enough!” He smiled and they scurried off, looking horrified. Huh.

He didn’t know what he meant by ‘gone.’ Out of their hair, back in the Archives, dead in a hole somewhere. It was all the same to him.

There was a song playing in his mind, an incessant, repetitive tune that should be cheerful but it was not. He hummed along with it.

Ten minutes or two days later, he stumbled through the door to the Archives, tripping down the stairs at a rate more like falling. No one was there to greet him, perhaps it was lunch time? Jon was very hungry. But that wasn’t a good indicator of time- Jon was always hungry now. For answers, for food, for someone to look at him without anger. Hungry hungry hungry.

Someone must have left a thing or two in the break room. Martin always had snacks lying about. Maybe he could have one of Tim’s protein bars? Melanie’s Gatorades? So many choices it almost made him weep.

Elias was always saying he chose this. He’s starting to agree. He always wanted more- more answers, more information. The choice was always easy then- go wherever the knowledge takes you. So why was this one so goddamn hard? Just pick some food, any fucking food you’re so hungry-

It would be nice if someone picked for him. He hadn’t had to choose his own food for a while, but now the options were just overwhelming. Just let him have one more thing out of his control. He wasn’t ready to go back to normal, not just yet.

But they had to move forward, he knew that. Jon wanted answers and so did the rest of them. They never liked the answers he gave them. Is that Jon’s fault, really? Maybe. Everyone else seemed to think so. Elias didn’t tell them he’d been kidnapped, but he’d been gone all the same. It’s sad isn’t it, when you become a person no one will miss? Jon missed them. Jon missed everything that was real, flesh and blood and warm. Jon was selfish that way.

But now he had an answer. Something good that came out of all of this, a lead. Tim would be happy. He might even thank him.

The world tilted and Jon tilted with it.

________

“Hang on-is that Jon?”

Martin peered into the break room on his return from lunch; he wasn’t expecting anyone else to be here. But there was a small figure there in the dark, swaying on their feet. He rushed over and flicked on the light switch- it was Jon! His excitement was dampened, however, when he got a good look at the man.

Jon looked bad. Martin didn’t think he could possibly look worse than he did after Daisy brought him back but no, this was definitely worse. At least then he’d been angry, rushing around and demanding answers from Elias. Now though, he was just...swaying, his eyes distant and cloudy, not even noticing the other occupant in the room. His hair was tangled and long, his face was gaunt. He was drowning in his clothes- clothes that were dirty and blood stained and torn as if he spent the last month living in the woods. “Jon?” he asked hesitantly, inching forward in the room like he was approaching a spooked animal. “Jon, are you alright?”

No answer. Jon was humming, a strange, childish tune like something from a music box or an ice cream truck. Tim was silent and still behind him; Martin wasn’t surprised he was unwilling to help. It was a horrifying picture, after all, and he and Jon weren’t on the best of terms. Martin managed to get close enough to venture a hand on Jon’s shoulder.

This seemingly broke him out of his fog and stopped that god-awful hum. His eyes cleared as he turned to Martin and smiled- Martin had always wanted Jon to smile at him but not like this, never like this. Happy and dreamy yet somehow manic. “Oh!” he croaked; he sounded as if his voice hadn’t been used in days. “M-Martin, you’re here!”

“Yes, I am,” he explained slowly, trying to match his smile if only to put him at ease. “Are- are you alright, Jon? We haven’t seen you for a while, and you look- well, not great.” That was an understatement. There was a strange, glowing sheen on his otherwise unhealthy frame, like a doll that’d been covered in greasepaint. It was unnerving, to say the least.

“Yes!” Jon said excitedly, grabbing at his arm with thin, spindly fingers. There was a desperate strength behind it. “Now that you’re here. Where’s Tim? I have to- I need to find Tim!”

That was not a good idea. “Erm, are you sure?” he hedged, trying to usher him into a seat but Jon was having none of it and pulling at his arm insistently. “Jon, I really think you should get to a doctor, I mean look at you-”

“Tim!” Jon called in that croaking, animated voice. The man in question looked irritated at first, and then clearly disturbed by the man in front of him. “Tim, I have news.”

Tim backed up as Jon approached and leaned forward on his desk as if imparting a secret. ‘I know where it’s going to be. The Unknowing.” Martin watched as Tim’s eyes lit up unwillingly and he grabbed at Jon, pushing him into his own desk chair. Easy, Martin wanted to chide, though he knew Tim wouldn’t heed it. He had a one-track mind when it came to dealing with the Circus.

“Where?” Tim asked urgently, his hands on Jon’s shoulders as if ready to shake him lest he gave the wrong answer. Martin noticed the way Jon leaned into the touch, threatening as it was. “Where?”

“A wax museum!” The words were...delighted. Jon was smiling like a child giving a teacher the correct answer and that strange, clouded look was coming back into his eyes. “I don’t know which one, though. They didn’t tell me that.” Who?

“Who?” Tim echoed his thoughts and pushed Jon up straight as he listed to the side. “Was this- was this one of your powers? How long have you known?”

“No, not this time,” Jon patiently explained. “I was there. I’ve known for- hm, Elias said - about a month!” What? Tim’s eyes narrowed and his hands gripped harder. Jon didn’t seem to notice. “I would’ve told you, but I was all tied up!” He reached his hands up imploringly, sleeves slipping down his arms to reveal wrists rubbed raw, clearly infected. Martin gasped and even Tim let up, looking nauseated.

“Jon,” Martin kneeled by the chair, trying to meet his eyes. “Jon, what happened? Who did this to you?”

Without Tim’s help, Jon fell to the side of the chair, only supported by it’s arm. His shirt, worryingly baggy, slipped off his shoulder to reveal deeply bruised skin, blooming a purple and green that seemed to extend beyond what they could see. Jon must have noticed their horrified stares, for he rushed to reassure them.

“I can’t even feel it anymore, really. She just liked to see what colors she could make me turn.”

Martin could’ve thrown up.

“Who’s she?” Tim stuttered out, horror rooting him in place though his hands twitched in what look liked an urge to help.

“The clown. Nikola. Needed- needed my skin for the dance. She couldn’t cut me up yet. I was almost-” Jon was no longer there with them, not anymore. “I was almost ready.” He pitched forward, eyes rolling back in his head and Martin rushed to grab him but Tim got there first, sweeping an arm under his chest and pulling him back up on the chair. There was a feral, unhinged look in the man’s eyes- anger, fear, and something he couldn’t name making his arms shake even as they kept Jon in a tight grip.

“Should- should we get him to the hospital? This is bad, Tim.”

“No!” Jon shot up in the seat, arms flailing in a sudden panic. “No more- no more strange hands! I don’t w-want them touching me, please Martin, I don’t want to I don’t want to-”

“Shh,” it was Tim who hushed him, leaning Jon into his side and taking most of his weight. He was completely attentive now in an entirely different way- Martin would say it was protective if he didn’t know the man’s real feelings. “We won’t. How about we take you to the cot, have a rest, yeah?”

“Tim…” Shouldn’t they be doing more? A nap wouldn’t cure him- he needed real medical attention.

“Just for now,” he said and his tone didn’t leave room for any arguments. “He doesn’t want it. Not right now.” Martin wondered what made him suddenly attuned to Jon’s needs- as if a switch had been flipped at the mention of a clown. He followed behind like a lost puppy, watching as Tim took a still-murmuring Jon into Document Storage.

“Their hands, Tim. I don’t- too much touching-”

“I’ll let go of you as soon as you’re settled,” Tim promised, laying him down with the utmost care as Martin watched from the doorway. “I’m sorry-”

But Jon’s arm shot out and grabbed at Tim’s as he tried to walk away. “Not- not yours. I-I didn’t mean yours.”

And to Martin’s surprise Tim sat down, leaning back against the cot and entwining his hand with Jon’s. His eyes held that same far-away look as Jon’s, as if he were trapped in a memory and seeing something else entirely. Martin suddenly feels like he’s intruding.

He shuts the door and lets them be.

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27285688

#whumptober2020 #no.30 #wound reveal #fic #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #tim stoker #martin blackwood #angst #bit of hurt/comfort

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tarlos-spain · 3 years

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Sicktember Day 6 - Nebulizer A little astronaut in hospital

Fandom: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)

Relationship: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand

Characters: Carlos Reyes TK Strand Owen Strand

Elisabeth Strand-Reyes suffers from asthma attacks, nothing serious, but everything is serious for TK.

TK entered the hospital waiting room like a hurricane sweeping through a town and inadvertently knocked over the nurses' display. The man who was there talking to a colleague looked at him startled and annoyed by the interruption.

He apologized as calmly as his state of near hysteria would allow. Owen walked in a second later when he had found where to park the car and rested a hand on his son's back.

Gabriel and Andrea were there too.

"Come on, they're over here." Said the Ranger in a really calm tone of voice, which contrasted with the anxiety attack TK was about to have. Her own father seemed calm too, everyone was quiet and all TK wanted to do was scream, grab the nurse by the collar and force him to tell her where her husband and daughter were.

Luckily for the nurse and for TK who would have ended up in the police station, Gabriel was right, there were Carlos and Eliza, the policeman sitting on the edge of the bed holding the nebulizer over his daughter's face so she wouldn't drop it and would be calm.

The little girl, a small cup of Carlos, with olive skin, black curly hair, and dark eyes; her eyes were reddened because she had been crying, it was normal that at four years old she did not understand why she suddenly could not breathe, why she had had to leave school early with a cab or why her father had been so tense until five minutes ago when they had put that thing covering her nose and mouth.

Carlos nodded to TK to come closer, at the same time turning to the little girl and stroking her little head.

"Look who's here, Eli."

"Daddy!" said the little girl under the nebulizer. "I'm going to be an astronaut and Daddy is training me."

"Ah, so now you want to be an astronaut." TK took a seat next to the bed, like everyone else, Carlos was quiet as everyone else and if there was one person he could trust and feel at ease with, it was Carlos. "What happened to be a vet?"

"That too." The girl coughed.

"First we're going to finish the training that will improve your ability to breathe in space," Carlos said. "Eli has told me that being a veterinarian is all well and good, but there are no veterinary astronauts trained to heal creatures in space."

The girl nodded her head so hard she almost knocked the nebulizer off her face.

"Veterinary astronaut sounds like a great choice to me," TK replied on the verge of laughing and looked at Carlos. "But for that, you're going to have to study hard aren't you?"

"And do a lot of sports and be brave and strong." Neither of them managed to get the girl to keep quiet and calm down to continue with the treatment, but that also meant they were feeling much better.

Gabriel and Owen said they wanted to spend some time with their granddaughter so they could go for coffee. Carlos took him across the street, there was a Starbucks and everything was easier for TK.

"A frappuccino with cream, cinnamon, extra vanilla, and on top in a large size," TK said taking a sip. "That's bad news isn't it?"

"Not really, Eli is fine, he still hasn't gotten used to asthma attacks and how to control them, but it hasn't gone bad this time."

"Why did he have to inherit that from me?"

TK tried to cover his face with his hands but Carlos held them between his hands.

"She's taken the best of you, baby. She's just as pretty as you and you've seen her in there, she's calm because she's strong, and because she doesn't scare easily, like her father. Remember the fire at home? I was on the verge of collapse and when it looked like we were about to die you managed to stay calm."

"She looks so old."

"Five years for the daughter of a paramedic and a cop is a lot." Carlos moved in for a kiss. "And thanks to the nebulizer we have a future astronaut in the family." TK burst out laughing, but he knew his daughter was stubborn enough to do it if she really put her mind to it."

"Now seriously, what did the doctor say?"

"That she's fine but that she needs to watch her exercise a bit, especially on days as dry as today, but I've already told the school to keep an eye on her. And before you say it I've already ordered a nebulizer from Amazon, the same one they have here at the hospital for when we have an emergency at home or for when Eli wants to train for space."

"How have you been able to fix everything while I've only been able to overwhelm me and let my dad bring me to the hospital?"

"We each have our strengths. You soothe me knowing you're on your way and I soothe you with your favorite coffee." Carlos replied wrapping an arm around TK's neck. "The doctor has also told Eli that the best asthma therapy is a movie on the couch with his dads, popcorn, and his favorite juice."

"Hmmm, family evening lying on the couch, sounds interesting."

"And pizza for dinner?"

"Sounds good to me." TK kissed him back and leaned over the cop's shoulder. "Some of the kinds of little space animals Eli wants to treat."

"I have no idea, but that gets us out of having little animals he brings in a stray from the street." Carlos s stood up and tugged on TK's hand. "Come on, we better get back before your father or my parents decide to start buying their granddaughter all the toys and books about astronauts."

The two of them looked at each other almost bolted back to the hospital, if there was one thing their daughter had gotten out of the two of them it was being persuasive with her grandparents, who never managed to deny her anything.

#Sicktember 2021 #nebulizer #family #granparents #daugther

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starkerintheparker · 4 years

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starker reclist - PWP

What better way to celebrate RDJ’s bday than spreading some pwp love, amirite :D I decided to just share these without the usual commentary because there are only so many ways to praise hot smut and I’m not that well versed in English lol. Some fics are plottier, some are porn with feels, others are unapologetic filth. Suffice to say they are all sublime and top notch wanking material, 10/10 recommend. Please mind the tags and stay safe. Happy meals! 😈

Last updated: April 25th, 2020. All new additions will be marked with ***

• a little bit scandalous by @paspleurer (3k, completed)

Summary: “What do you think about dessert? I’m thinking the creme brulee, but—”

“You could eat my ass,” says Peter. "After you've already come inside of it."

Tony sets the menu down on the table with jarring force.

• A Special Love by @darker-soft-starker (completed)

Summary: “You know - the thing where I tell you that I’m too old to be kissed on the lips,” Peter answers, reaching out linking their hands together over the gearstick. "Where I tell you none of the other fathers kiss their sons like we do and isn’t it weird?”

Author’s warning: Incest roleplay (no actual incest), semi-public sex, exhibitionism, public foreplay, armour kink, slight incidental daddy kink, nff.

• Babysitter (AU) by @readysetstarker (5.4k, completed)

Summary: Tony was desperate. Ten minutes before he was supposed to leave for work, brushing his daughter’s hair in the bathroom and promising her a fun day at the zoo with her babysitter (he had already paid for the tickets online, the receipt for them sitting on the counter), he had gotten the call that she wouldn’t be showing up. He needed to be at work to negotiate a deal with investors, they needed him there, but she had been adamant about not showing up and hung up on him mid-plea.

• Ballerina!Peter and Construction worker!Tony (AU) by @starkerforlife6969 (completed) Part 2 is winterironspider

Author’s warnings: mild dub con (super mild, Peter turns out to be a mega-slut and we love it), innocent peter, feminisation, multiple orgasms, rimming, mild cock warming, mild cock-slapping.

• Berries and Cream by @stfustucky (5k, completed)

Summary: There's no way in hell they're going to fit all the Avengers into two cars, not unless Peter sits on Tony's lap. And there's no way in hell Tony is going to survive the ride all the way back to the tower unless Peter stops squirming like that. Unfortunately for Tony, Peter doesn't seem inclined to sit very still tonight. Whoops.

• Breaking Character (AU) by @cagestark (8k, completed)

Summary: Tony Stark, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and spy for SHIELD. Working with another SHIELD spy, the infamous Spider, he will take down an infamous human trafficking ring in New York. But the act they have to put on will demand more from Tony than he ever thought he'd have to give. Not that he minds.

• Bruisable and Sweet by @bloomblood (completed)

Summary: Tony has a meal in Peter’s humble, college dormitory bed.

• Captured (AU) by @areluctantsblog (1k, completed)

Summary: In another a universe, reluctant as he may be, Peter Parker has to find out that being Spider-Man inevitably means being a celebrity, too. As far as he’s concerned, the only good thing resulting from this is that from time to time he gets the chance to lay eyes on the fashion industry’s most handsome face, that of photographer Tony Stark’s. When one day Peter is sent on a photo-shoot with the living legend, things take an interesting turn.

• Coming Untouched by @starker-stories (4k, completed)

Summary:

“So, is it true?”

“Which thing? I presume you stood there, outside the door, eavesdropping on our entire conversation,” Peter said, miffed.

“That you can make yourself come without touching yourself even once during your… session?”’

• Context Clues (A/B/O) by Anonymous (8k, completed)

Summary: Peter is crying. Those had been FRIDAY's exact words, and the reason Tony had run upstairs and bypassed the privacy lock on the kid's door. Context is kind of everything.

• Desperado (AU) by @starkercrossedlovers (completed)

Summary: Desperado Tony come to town and takes Peter with him when he goes.

• Drabbles by @starkerforlife6969 (290k, ongoing)

Summary: These are all starkerforlife6969’s tumblr drabbles/stories in one collection, aside from the Mafia Boss One. Mostly starker, but there will be winterspider and spidershield and spiderstrange.

• Eight Stops (to make you mine) (A/B/O) by @starkerkeyz and @the-mad-starker (9k, completed)

Summary: He clutches onto the alpha's forearm and gives Tony another nip, harsher with his spiked up desires. "Eight stops," he tells the alpha, "that's all the time we got. Think that's enough…?" They can only have a quickie but Peter thinks it just might be the best sex he's ever going to get. He gives the alpha's cock another squeeze, trying to convince him to say yes. "Plenty." Tony unbuckles Peter's pants one handed, smirking against pale skin. He rubs his stubble into the omega's lightly bitten scent gland just to rile him up.

• From Across the Bar by @readysetstarker (3k, completed)

Summary: Tony took a slow sip and listened to a pair of new broadcasters talk about upcoming sports games and a player’s most recent scandal about steroid use. He couldn’t have cared less, personally, but there was nothing else on and he wasn’t really here to watch television. Not if the cute brunette trying to scope him out without being noticed had anything to say about it.

• From Thy Bounty by @ibby-writes and feyrelay (30k, completed)

Summary: Tony’s eyes are always dark, but now there's almost no iris left. He looks hollowed out. There’s something terribly hungry there, despite the feast they've filled themselves on.

• Further Assistance by @learned-foot (4k, completed)

Summary: Besides, it would be unethical not to tell Peter what he saw, right? He’s pretty sure that would violate some sort of boundary. And if the kid wants to go down the path of creative experimentation, it’s kind of Tony’s duty to make sure he does it safely. He basically has to help.

• half doomed and you’re semi sweet by noctiphany (2k, completed) underage

Summary: “Peter,” Tony says, his tone flat, and Peter shudders. “Peter,” Tony says again, impatient and with a hint of threat. “I’m waiting.

• Heal Me by Mezzymet (7k, completed)

Summary: His love for the man probably bordered on hero worship but....you could love someone and not be in love with them. Obviously.

• I could be your whore, Mr. Stark by @stfustucky (10k, completed)

Summary: Peter needs a cover story for his shady behavior as Spidey, and half the school thinks he's an escort anyways, so Peter just leans into the rumors. Tony, being the good friend and teammate that he is, agrees to corroborate the cover story by letting everyone think Peter is his own personal slut.

• Indulge Me by @learned-foot (370 words, completed)

Summary: Peter likes it best when Mr. Stark is rough and taking. Read it together with Under Someone Else.

• Jealousy is Ugly (Except When It's Not) by @yadds (4k, completed)

Summary: Peter has a boyfriend. Tony can't stand it.

• Kinktober 2019 by @readysetstarker (38k, completed)

The whole list is amazing, my personal favorites are the glorious upskirt/semi public sex (ch 6). the breathtaking mirror sex (ch 7) and the sweet praise kink (ch 9).

• Just a little bit, just enough by @bitter-lemon-water (25k, completed)

Summary: So somewhere in between devastation, uncertainty, fear and disconcertment—Peter settles. Alternatively: Tony pulls. (Peter lets him.) (Peter wants him to.)

• Just Listen to Me by LeafyGreenQueen773 (3k, completed)

Summary: After the spider bite, Peter's senses are “dialed to eleven”. That includes in bed. Peter talks Tony through what feels best to him.

• Later for later by @unsettledink (15k, completed) sex pollen, top!Peter

Summary: “You,” Peter says, again, mouthing at Tony's skin. “I want you. I trust you. This is a terrible, terrible idea, Tony knows. The worst. And yeah he's normally all for terrible ideas, but this is… no. (The one where Peter gets hit with a sex drug, and Tony is not prepared for this shit.)

• Me, You & A Tattoo by @starkeristheendgame (4k, completed)

Summary: Peter gets Tony's name tattooed on his ass after a not-bet with MJ. Really, it was just a matter of time before Tony found out.

• Morning (A/B/O) by @starkerstarkerstarker (completed)

Summary: Peter’s breath hitches, eyes on him like he expected him to do more, but when he doesn’t, when all he does is lift a brow, he frowns, his bottom lip pushing out. “If you want something, princess, go ahead.”

• No Control by @paspleurer (500 words, completed)

Summary: Mr. Stark’s conditions are simple— no touching himself, and no talking. And Peter wants to be good, he really does— but his senses make it so hard.

• Paint my Body Gold by @spidey-stuff (14 k, completed)

Summary: Tony is desperate to rid himself of his inappropriate attraction before the last barrier holding him back crumbles as Peter's 18th birthday rapidly approaches.

• Perfect by @learned-foot (639 words, completed)

Summary: There are a lot of things that should make Peter embarrassed right now, starting with the fact that the first time Mr. Stark kissed him—about half an hour ago, though it feels like another world—he came in his pants within seconds.

• Peter in Heat (A/B/O) by @starkerforlife6969 (completed)

Summary: Peter’s presenting and Tony knows exactly how to take care of him.

• Red Light District series (AU) by @starker-stories (17k, ongoing)

Summary: Everyone knows that Tony Stark is a playboy who has dozens of women passing through his life and through his bed. What everyone doesn't know is that Tony Stark is deeply closeted, longing for something he can't ever have -- a life and a love with another man.

• Reversal by @learned-foot (4k, completed)

Summary: Sometimes, Tony is the one who needs to be praised.

• Still Use Work by @learned-foot (6.5k, completed)

Summary: Peter has a problem. Tony attempts to solve it. To be helpful, obviously. That’s the only reason.

• Sweet for me, my Honeybee by garbagesinboy (10k, completed)

Summary: Peter's got a sweet tooth, and Tony's got a problem. In which Peter Parker consumes way more sugar than the average human ever should, and Tony Stark suffers many many boners.

• Tremolo by @lilsoshie and @marvlouse (4k, completed)

Summary: “You’re gonna ride me,” Tony decides, easing his fingers free and cherishing the unhappy whine the move inspires. “Up, come on.”

“Tony,” Peter says, a complaint, an exhausted plea.

• The Third Idea by @cagestark (12k, completed)

Summary: Tony walks in on Peter jerking off twice in one week, and realizes that his lover needs a little more from him. So he gives him less; a week without cumming should do it.

• This fire is out of control by feyrelay (2k, completed) sex pollen

Summary: There's really not enough room in their hiding spot to fuck, but Peter's temperature is rising from whatever they've been given, and Tony-Well, Tony's determined.

• Once Upon a Time, there was a Sloshed Bunny and a Guilty Man by @starkerchemistry (completed)

Summary: drunk!Peter dirty talks Tony on the phone.

• Up to Eleven by TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsG (15k, completed)

Summary: He watches those five minutes. Watches them again, and again. Tries to tell himself that he’s seeing something other than what FRIDAY is showing him.

• wasn’t built in a day by orphan_account (7k, completed) dubcon

Summary: Peter files “massive hard-on for Tony Stark” under “things I can’t tell Aunt May.” It’s tied at the top of the list with “I’m Spider-Man” and “I’m responsible for Uncle Ben’s death.”

• Weird by tuesday (2k, completed)

Summary: It wasn't weird, okay? A lot of people wanted to have sex with the Iron Man armor. A lot. There were entire forums and Instagram and Twitter accounts dedicated to it. There had been internet wars fought solely over which Mark was the sexiest. There was endless speculation over whether Tony Stark was among their number and whether and how he actually had outfitted one of the armors with the ability to make good on all that sleek, sexy promise.

It wasn't weird.

"It's a little weird," Tony said.

• what’s the point of a clear raincoat with no hood? by CarnivalGoldfish (7k, completed)

Summary: Tony buys Peter clothes because he likes Peter wearing what he bought him. Peter realizes this is not normal.

*** when the world has dealt its cards by thisismydesignn (3k, completed) underage

Summary: Tony Stark has never claimed to be a role model, let alone a good influence. Case in point...

• You Learn Something New Every Day by @sbiderslut (4k, completed)

Summary: This man looks right at them and remarks, happily unaware of the kiloliter can of worms he just RPG-ed wide open, “The bond between you and Mr. Parker is truly remarkable, Tony. You could practically be father and son.”

• Your Eyes Only by tuesday (4k, completed)

Summary: It was an accident. Tony did not, as a rule, check up on Peter these days, and while he had kept the monitoring programs, they were there in case of emergency.

#starker #reclist #peter parker x tony stark

214 notes · View notes

capesandshapes · 4 years

Text

The Last Resort: Chapter 2 (Adrinette)

Summary: After an akuma attack goes wrong, Adrien finally learns Ladybug's secret identity and finds himself falling even deeper in love with his friend. He thinks he's finally gotten lucky when she declares to him that she's currently in the business of falling love with anyone but her previous crush... until that crush turns out to be him. Now Adrien has to somehow convince the girl of his dreams to fall back in love with him, while keeping his own identity a secret from her. Well, if there was one thing his father taught him, it was how to multitask. Chapter Summary: The Cat's Out of the Trunk, Good Morning Beautiful. Marinette explains why she refuses to date Chat, Adrien begins a new morning routine, and it turns out old emotions may die harder than habits.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alya closed the distance between her and Marinette quickly, her arms wrapping around her smaller friend and her face burying in the girl’s hair while Adrien could only watch. The two girls stayed like that for a moment, Marinette’s eyes closing in what seemed to be thankfulness as her hand slowly patted Alya’s back. But it was only a moment, Then Alya pulled back to face her friend, her face shaped into a wicked grin.

Alya pressed her lips to her friend’s forehead with an overexaggerated mwah, a loud pop resounding as she quickly pulled back. “Well, you know what, I love you,” she declared, “and someday Adrien’s going to wake up and realize that he does too... if he hasn’t already.”

Marinette snorted, rolling back from Alya with a bemused smile, “you’re the worst.”

“I’m the best,” Alya proclaimed. “The best listener, the best blogger, and your best friend.” Leaning her weight on the side of Marinette’s chair, Alya asked, “speaking of being your best friend, and seeing as how I don’t see anything that could possibly keep you busy… Maybe we could have a sleepover tonight? Possibly run through all my theories, some Adrien related and others not?”

And while Adrien would have loved to hear those theories and possibly see his lady’s reaction, the thought of remaining in a dark trunk didn’t exactly sit well with him, nor did the fact that he could only hold up his transformation for so long. A loud groan escaped his mouth without permission, gaining Alya’s attention and suddenly startling Marinette.

“What was that--” Alya began to ask.

“Floor!” Marinette immediately yelled, suddenly hoping up from her desk chair and walking in front of the trunk. She gestured to the floor with her back turned to Adrien, and he could only imagine the look on her face. “You know, the floors in these old houses! What are you going to do? I mean its Paris, its 2020, everyone’s having a housing crisis--Can’t fix all the floors! Even if you wanted to fix them and make them less noisy and less inconvenient. Those floors!” She quickly sat on the trunk, crossing her legs and no doubt posing herself in an innocent manner. “But um… Sleepover. You here, with me, alone. Tonight.” Her nerves were evident in her voice, “Can’t do it, really busy...Making a raincoat for a friend.”

Alya let out a laugh, “Which friend?”

“Wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you.”

More laughter, Adrien heard the floor actually creak as Alya neared closer. “Alright,” she said, “you have fun with that. I’ll keep my eyes out for it on your Instagram.”

“Of course,” Marinette gave a strained reply as the trap door in her room creaked.

A moment passed in which she no doubt listened to Alya’s footsteps going down the staircase, much like Adrien was doing. He could hear her stand up from the trunk as the footsteps faded further away, a heavy inhale audible from outside. Suddenly, the lid of the chest opened entirely, Marinette’s face coming into view.

“Don’t. Say. A. Word.” Marinette immediately spat.

Adrien’s eyebrows raised, his legs hooking over the side of the trunk as he used it for leverage to pop out of the confining space. After taking in her dead serious expression, he couldn’t help but grin, “I don’t know what you’re referring to…”

She shot him an unimpressed glare.

“I guess the cat’s out of the bag,” he laughed, “or trunk, more like it.”

“And I’m going in it,” Marinette deadpanned, placing a foot in the trunk before stating rather over dramatically, “close the trunk and bury me in it.” After a moment of thought, she said, “and don’t forget to take the earrings off first.”

“No can do, m’lady,” he replied, his hand wrapping around her wrist as he pulled her closer, his grin stretching ear to ear like some sort of Cheshire Cat rip off. “You like him,” he stated, more for his pleasure than to inform her. “You like Adrien Agreste.” It felt electric and absolutely invigorating to say while looking at her, his Ladybug, and watching the pink bloom over her cheeks.

“I don’t!” She replied, “Not anymore!” But when the color left her face, she decided to correct the statement, “I mean I do, as a friend. I like Adrien as a friend now, only a friend. I don’t love h--”

He couldn’t let her say it. He cut her off before she could finish the statement, saying in an almost teasing tone, “Then prove it. You don’t even have to know who I am, just date me instead.” He rested his chin between his thumb and pointer finger with a devilish look, his other hand pulling her closer as he almost dared her to actually look at him, “I think I’m a little more handsome than the Agreste boy, wouldn’t you agree?”

Marinette jerked back her hand from his, her eyebrows knitting close to each other as she replied a simple, “No.”

He deflated slightly.

“You just don’t get it because you love doing this so much, but I…”

“You...?” Adrien’s face fell.

Marinette looked away from him. “I want a lot more than this, you know?” She cringed at her wording before clarifying, “I mean you and I could never date like normal people. We could never have picnics, watch movies at each other’s houses, go out to dinner, go to school dances, or spend a single peaceful night together.” Seeing how his face contorted in thought, she carried on, “I mean patrolling and beating up bad guys together is one thing, but there’s so much more to love. Could you even imagine Chat Noir walking me to school? That’s not something that can happen, kitty.”

“But if you let me tell you who I am--”

“Then I’ll love you just because you’re Chat Noir,” her hand drifted to his cheek, her thumb creating circles on his skin. “No one else would have a chance to know me like you do, and I might miss out on something great.” Her eyes were sincere as she stated, “If I fall in love, I want it to be as a civilian, just a normal girl. If you take off that mask right now, then I won’t get that.”

He sighed, his head leaning into her touch as he slowly closed his eyes, seemingly admitted defeat, “fine.”

*****************************************

“So tell me again why you’re forcing me to wake up a whole hour early,” Plagg yawned, but it did not diminish the audible nature of his irritation, “When you already show up at school well before everyone else.”

Adrien sighed, placing his head against the glass of his car door window as he also fought the urge to return to sleeping. “We’ve gone over this, Plagg. I talked to Nathalie, and she said that this was the only way she could imagine making room in my schedule for this. If this is what Marinette really wants, then…”

“Then you should walk her home instead,” Plagg whined, “so it’s not too suspicious. Heck, you could even give her a ride, maybe she’d like that.”

“Plagg.”

“You know that girl’s late all the time anyway!” Plagg reminded Adrien, “and your father said that if you show up even a minute late to one of your classes, then it’s another day of no school for you. You’re seriously putting things at risk here.”

“And?”

“And?!” Plagg’s voice grew louder but trailed off quickly. In a mere moment, the cat’s demeanor changed, his ears perking and his tail drooping as his nose pointed up in the air.

Adrien’s did as well, enticing smells filling the street as the Dupain-Cheng bakery came into view. Mrs. Cheng stood outside, propping the door open as she flipped the sign, clapping to herself with a pleased look on her face as the streets of Paris began to fill with the smell of freshly baked bread. Passerby quickly began to file off the street and into line as the scent grew, each hoping to grab some of Paris’s greatest baking before it ran out.

“Cream cheese danish-- No, a cheesy croissant-- No, a cheesy quiche…” Plagg began to demand, “or all of the above.” With a lick of his lips, the Kwami declared, “maybe you trying to date bakery girl won’t be such a bad thing…”

“I’ll say…” Adrien agreed, his mouth partially falling open at how enticing the smell of a just-opened bakery was. No wonder Ladybug always smelt so good; her parents had managed to create an aromatic paradise with mixtures of flour and yeast every morning.

The car rolled to a stop in front of the bakery, the Gorilla quickly hopping out of the driver’s seat to open Adrien’s door before he could manage to do it himself. The Gorilla nodded his head to the bakery as he opened Adrien’s door, hinting that at least one banana cream eclair would be required for the boy to carry out his plan. Adrien nodded in response as he got out of the car, giving his bodyguard a quick thumbs up and grinning as the man returned the action. Adrien was fortunate that his father paid him well, especially if he had to provide treats for his bodyguard and Plagg every day he insisted on walking with Marinette.

Pulling the strap of his messenger bag a little bit tighter and straightening his back, Adrien inhaled hard before getting in line. Keeping his head down and his hand angled on his forehead so that it blocked the majority of his face, he waited peacefully in the quick-moving line, mentally practicing what he would say to see Marinette at such an early hour a million times.

He was on a million and one when he got close enough for Tom Dupain to notice him, only three people between him and the counter.

“Adrien!” The baker’s voice greeted from behind the counter. Heads turned with his greeting, but the man paid them no mind as he quickly exited the kitchen to place a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “What are you doing waiting in line? You know you’re one of Marinette’s friends now; you hardly have to go through the bakery doors. You can use the back entrance like Alya.” Shrugging his shoulders and seeming to not realize even part of the reason Adrien was there, Tom added, “you can drop whatever you have for her on the kitchen counter; she’ll probably be up in a few hours.”

“Um, actually,” Adrien blinked, overwhelmed by the man. “I was hoping to get some of your pastries, you are the best baker in town. And then, you know…” Tom’s akumatization as Weredad flashed before his eyes, causing Adrien to mumble his words too lightly for the man to hear.

“Excuse me, son. I couldn’t hear that last part!” Tom smiled.

“I said…” The words were lost once more in the bustle of the bakery.

“Just a little bit louder, Adrien!”

“I was hoping to walk Marinette to school!” Adrien yelled.

Tom inhaled and Adrien flinched, unsure of how the man would react after the absolute trainwreck that was brunch with Chat Noir.

“Sabine, did you hear that?!” Tom called across the bakery, his arm snaking around Adrien’s shoulder and holding the boy closer to him like one would a son. “Adrien is walking our daughter, Marinette, to school!” His expression was practically blissful as he called to his wife, “pack up one of everything!” He swiveled back to Adrien, his face filled with so much genuine glee that Adrien almost thought that he should be the one selling happiness on billboards instead of the blond. “Now you go up there and, no matter what she says or how grumpy she may seem, wake Marinette up. I’m sure she’ll be delighted to see you once she comes to.”

**********************

The light blue light of early morning streamed in through Marinette’s windows when Adrien entered her room, providing just enough light for him to get up her staircase without hassle and sit at the edge of her bed. Still, even with the dip of his body sitting on her mattress the girl did not move, her eyes still shut tight to the morning.

Marinette released a small sigh as her body flipped his way, her feet seeking the warmth of his legs as she nestled in sweetly to her bed. Her long eyelashes fluttered only once as her knees raised back into the fetal position, murmuring words softly to herself. It would be easy to watch her, but it wasn’t exactly his place, and Adrien currently had a deadline to fulfill.

“Marinette~,” he cooed, setting a hand down on her waist to shake her gently. “Wake uuuuuup.”

“Mbleg,” Marinette responded.

“Marinetteeeee,” he tried again.

“Nuh-bluh,” she said, half-asleep.

He held back the chuckle that tickled the back of his throat, his voice teasing as he continued, “Marinette, it’s Adrien Agreste.”

“Nuh.”

“I’m here to walk you to school.”

“Un-mn.”

He rolled his eyes with a grin, allowing his side to fall against the bed as he faced her, his body filling in all the spaces where hers curved. With his face just inches from hers, he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers momentarily before enacting his evil plan.

Puckering his lips, he grabbed her shoulders and, taking advantage of the short distance but never fully touching her, blew a gust of air up her nose.

Marinette’s eyes flew open and she sprang back, screaming, “AH!” And then, noticing Adrien, she screamed again, “AAAAH!” Her hand slapped down on his shoulder as her screaming stopped, once, twice, and again; her eyes scrutinizing him as if she was worried he’d bite her or something.

Adrien flinched at the contact, but couldn’t help but laugh, “Marinette!”

“Adrien!” She finally acknowledged, her jaw immediately falling open. “It’s you! You’re in my bed! Now! With me!” Her eyes widened, “Oh my god, I just hit you.”

“Your parents sent me to wake you up,” he explained.

“They sent you to wake me up?” Marinette repeated, her eyes drifting down from him to her pillow. Her mouth stretched wide as she tried to paint a distracting smile, immediately grabbing the pillow near Adrien that she’d previously been resting on and flipping it over, as if he hadn’t just seen her drooling seconds before. “I mean, that’s just-- wow, what an occasion, you waking me up and all.”

Adrien nodded, “Yeah, I was just in the neighborhood picking up pastries, can’t beat one of your father’s croissants, and then I thought, maybe I should walk with Marinette to school today?” He twinkled at her, adding innocently, “if you want to, that is.”

It was adorable when she was awestruck. “Walk? With you?” Adrien nodded and there it was, a deep blush that Marinette had likely been holding back. “Let me just get dressed, and then we’ll…” She nodded to herself as if affirming this was real before springing to her feet. Taking in Adrien with even wider eyes, she looked between him and her bed, only seeming to inhale and never exhale. “You stay here. I’ll get dressed but, you stay here,” she stated, and it hit him that she was obviously afraid that he’d disappear into thin air.

“I’ll stay here, right here, on your bed, and I’ll wait for you. Okay?” He chuckled.

“Okay,” she finally exhaled, casting him a nervous look as she approached her stairs. He beamed at her in return and she immediately looked down, her face a ruby red as she disappeared down the stairs.

"...Don’t like Adrien anymore,” he muttered as she disappeared, rolling onto his back to grin even wider at the ceiling. “Right,” he laughed.

#adrinette #adrienette #adrien agreste #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #mlb fanfic #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #my fanfic #no beta we live hard we die harder

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artemishphm · 4 years

Text

ARTEMIS LUNA GREY

IDENTITY

Name: Artemis Luna Grey

Nicknames: Temis, Art, Artie, Mis, Moonie, Pip, Honey, Lunetta

Gender: Female

Age: 11 - 17 (in-game, 1984-1991); 47 (present day 2020)

Birth Date: 31st August 1973

Species: Human

Blood Status: Half-blood

Sexuality: Bisexual

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Ethnicity: Caucasian/White

Nationality: Half Italian, Half British

Residence: London, England

Myer Briggs Personality Type: ENFJ-A

THE MAGE

1st Wand: Acacia, Unicorn Hair, 12 inches, pliable

Garrick Ollivander found that wands made from Acacia were difficult to match with a wizard. Acacia wands generally refused to produce magic for anyone but their owners, but conversely, seemed to withhold their full power from all but the most gifted wizards.Owners of Acacia wands were generally subtle wizards, as wands made from this wood were generally unsuitable for what Ollivander termed "bangs-and-smells magic".

Wands with unicorn hair cores produced the most consistent magic, were least subject to fluctuations and blockages, were most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts, and were the most faithful of wands. However, they do not make the most powerful of wands (unless the wand wood compensates) and are prone to melancholy if mishandled.

2nd Wand: Laurel, Phoenix feather, 12 inches

A laurel wand cannot perform a dishonourable act, although in the quest for glory (a not uncommon goal for those best suited to these wands), laurel wands have been known to perform powerful and sometimes lethal magic. Laurel wands are sometimes called fickle, but this is unfair; the laurel wand is unable to tolerate laziness in a possessor, and it is in such conditions that it is most easily and willingly won away. Otherwise, it will cleave happily to its first match forever, and indeed has the unusual and engaging attribute of issuing a spontaneous lightning strike if another witch or wizard attempts to steal it.

The Phoenix feather his is one of the rarest core types. Phoenix feathers are capable of the greatest range of magic, though they may take longer than either unicorn hair or dragon heartstring cores to reveal this. They show the most initiative, sometimes acting of their own accord, a quality that many witches and wizards dislike.Phoenix feather wands are always the pickiest when it comes to potential owners, for the creature from which they are taken is one of the most independent and detached in the world. These wands are the hardest to tame and to personalise, and their allegiance is usually hard won.

Animagus: American Staffordshire Terrier

(Real footage of Barnaby playing with Artemis, Rowan rec)

Misc Magical Abilities:

Parselmouth

Just like her brother Jacob, Artemis is a Parselmouth. She realized she was one when learning about Vipera Evanesca in her fifth year, a snake told her all about his life and she talked with him about her friends.

Seer

Artemis can see the future with her inner eye. She rembers giving prophecies since she was born and how she cried when she couldn’t see her brother’s future anymore, she can’t also see her own future. Artemis hates having prophecies at the most random times (example: when Barnaby was about to kiss her for the first time).

Animagus

Artemis can switch to a dog. She learned to do it with Talbott, even though they aren’t really close. She is not registered in the ministry.

Legilimency

Artemis was born with the ability to read other people’s minds.

Wandless and nonverbal magic

Artemis learned to cast nonverbal and windless magic with Rowan during their second year while they got bored during one of their sleepovers.

Boggart Form: Rowan’s dead body waking up and telling Artemis that it was her fault that she was dead.

Riddikulus Form: Rowan laughing with the fun that she bought with with Artemis

Amortentia: (What do they smell like?) Rain, Cookies, Vanilla and Fire

Amortentia: (What do they smell?) Snow, Shepherd’s pie, Fresh Laundry and a hint of sandalwood

Patronus: Unicorn

Patronus Memory:

Dancing her heart out at the end of the fourth year with all of her friends in the courtyard thanks to a muggle stereo Jae had managed to smuggle in the castle

Mirror of Erised:

She sees her whole family just being there with her smiling, telling her how much they love her.

Specialized/Favourite Spells:

Flipendo

Episkey

Riddikulus

Depulso

Protego

Colovaria

Arresto Momentum

APPEARANCE

Faceclaim: Amanda Arcuri

Game Appearance:

Height: 5′5 (169 cm)

Weight: 110 lbs

Physique: Slim

Eye Colour: Green

Hair Colour: Natural: brown, but she changes it every two weeks

Skin Tone: Ivory

Body Modifications:

Her mother pierced her ears when she was born. During her years at Hogwarts she got a lot of other piercings on her ears.

She got a septum when she was 15

She also has a small sun stick & poke on her wrist. She got it with Rowan when they were 13 & bored. Rowan has a moon in the same place.

Scarring:

She has small scars on her fingers due to failed spells

She also had a scar on her lower belly but she doesn’t remember how she got it.

Inventory: (what do they carry on them?)

Popcorn (”you always have to be ready to watch Merula fail at duels”), her mother’s necklace, candy, eye-liner, one of Barnaby’s rings and a dugbomb (”just in case”)

Fashion:

Converse are a must, she’s always wearing them (even when she shouldn’t). During the weekdays when she is not wearing her uniform you can find her sporting an old hoodie and some sweats around the castle. When she’s outside or on special occasion she has a 90s style,

I’ll link her Pinterest style board here once I do it.

ALLEGIANCES

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Affiliations/Organizations: The Grey family, The circle of Khanna, House of Gryffindor, British Ministry of Magic, Order of the Phoenix

Professions:

Gryffindor prefect (1988-1991)

Auror (1992-present day)

HOGWARTS INFORMATION

Class Proficiencies:

Astronomy: Outstanding

Charms: Outstanding

DADA: Outstanding

Flying: Exceeds Expectations

Herbology: Outstanding

History of Magic: Outstanding

Potions: Outstanding

Transfiguration: Outstanding

Electives:

Care of Magical Creatures: Outstanding

Divination: Outstanding

Muggle Studies: Acceptable

Quidditch: TBD

Extra Curricular:

-Duelling Club

Favourite Professors:

Minerva McGonagall

Severus Snape

Sybilla Trelawney

Silwanus Kettleburn

Least Favourite Professors:

Patricia Rakepick

RELATIONSHIPS

Brother:

Jacob Apollo Grey

He used to be Artemis’ best friend, but after his disappearance she couldn’t help but think that their bond would never be the same

Father:

Xavier Grey

Xavier left when Artemis was 3. He never came back.

Mother:

Jennifer Bane

A very cold woman, she never know how to show her love to Artemis. After Jacob left she became verbally abusive towards her daughter.

Love Interest:

Barnaby Lee

Penny Haywood (one-sided love, 1985)

Best Friends:

Rowan Khanna

Jae Kim

Nymphadora Tonks

Tulip Karasu

Penny Haywood

Rival:

Merula Snyde

Ismelda Murk

Andre Egwu (friendly bc of quidditch)

Enemy:

Patricia Rakepick

Acromantula

Dormmates: (Who’s in your MC’s dorm with them?)

Rowan Khanna

Skye Parkin

Barnaby Lee (when he doesn’t get caught, sneaked in)

Pets:

Niffler named Plato

Abraxan named Achilles

Fairy named Roger

Closest Canon Friends:

Badeea Ali

Charlie Weasley

Bill Weasley

Liz Tuttle

Skye Parkin

Murphy McNully

Closest MC Friends:

Lizzie Parker ( @lizzieparkerhphm)

Luna Powell (currently 2nd year, one of my MCs)

If u wanna be friends with Artemis just dm me! I’d love to!

PERSONALITY

Artemis is kind, loyal and funny. She’s a bit bossy sometimes but she always everyone’s best interests at heart. She would literally do anything for her friends. She’s really impulsive and that often puts her in very dangerous situations. She’s also really smart.

MISC

Artemis started dying her hair during her second year, after Tonks pulled prank on her and put dye in her shampoo. She loved so much her green hair that she decided to always change her hair color (Colovaria helped, a lot too)

None’s ever seen Artemis with the same hair color for more that three weeks. Her friends often don’t recognize her from behind when she has a new dye

Artemis and Tulip throw the best parties. They got caught only once.

There’s an unwritten rule at Hogwarts, what happens at their parties stays in their parties.

Artemis loves muggle music, especially Queen and David Bowie.

Even though Snape is always pretty harsh, he’s one of her favorite professors (and deep down he has a soft spot for her).

Rowan and Skye found her during OWLs week at three am crying her heart while singing “love of my life” to a piece of paper where she had written “outstanding OWLs” and a bowl of ice-cream, probably stolen from the kitchen. They never talked about it.

Artemis is in love with the moon. She doesn’t know why, but she’s always felt connected to it. That’s why you can often find her in the astronomy tower just staring at the moon.

She ofter sneaks Barnaby in her room because the feeling of his arms around her helps her ease her nightmares and, when she has her visions, he’s able to calm her down almost instantly.

When Rowan died, he slept with her for two months. None of the professors said nothing.

Thanks to @hogwartsmystoryfor the template <3

#hphm #Harry Potter Hogwarts mystery #hogwats mystery #mc #hphm mc #character template #finally #jacob’s sibling #hphm jacob

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witchyfashion · 5 years

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Wtichyfashion Skincare routine 2020

Skincare I am going to be completely honest right here and right now, my skincare regime is excessive. AND THATS HOW I LIKE IT OKAY!!! I realize for some of you that my routine will be ridiculous and do I go overboard? Why yes I do. But you know what I like being boujie when it comes to beauty products (within financial reason) and beauty routines. I admit there are fads that I want to try, not the vampire facial because for various reasons but other stuff. To save time i'll just list the products and tell you how I use them. -on makeup days I was my face three times after I take my makeup off -I use scrub brushes - Also no matter how well you take care of your skin you have hormones that will fuck it up. - while this works for me it may not work for you -I also like to try new products so I wil switch it up every now and then, ive also heard that your skin can build a tolerence to products so you need to switch up products no and then. -The Body shop tea tree scrub- I use this every night. This is the thing that helps me with the painful pimples that I get

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Innisfree greean tea foam cleanser- I just bought this cleanser and already it has become one of my favorites. Its gentle on the skin yet effective. It doesn't strip the oils from my face. A little goes a long way, sersouly I use about half a pea size and its more than enough.

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Alba Botanica hawaiian detox warming cleanser- Alba Botanica is one of my go to skincare brands, But this face wash isnt my favorite. I feel like this facewash was ment for oily skin. Too much use and my skin becomes dry and the warming sensation has a bit of sting to it. I use it on the days I wear makeup.

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Dr Bronners tea tree cleanser- I have bad body acne. I can use your typical body wash or showers gels on my chest and back. I've tried other antibacterial cleansers and this is the only one that works. I still get acne but its not painful cystic acne.

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My other favorite cleansers include: Burt's Bees Skin Nourishment Gentle Foaming Cleanser

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Burt's Bees Cleansing Oil with Coconut & Argan Cleanser

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essences: thayer's witch hazel: Thayers basically reigns in the witch hazel game. It tones, cleanses, and controls oil. Witch Hazel is a great alternative to alcohol astringents. Alcohol astringents will over dry the skin stripping it of the needed oil which you do need some. Thayers is well trusted because some witch hazel brands will add a bit of alcohol which in my opnion defeats the purpose of using witch hazel. I know that the rose is the most popular but am personally a fan of the lavender.

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innisfree green tea balancing skin ex- This is just a little extra to restore mositure to you skin, I mean I just washed and scrubbed it I do want to dry I out.

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moisturizers: mineral fusion spf 40 moisturizer-When I'm going to be outside most of the day I wear this moisturizer, even during winter. Since using this moisturizer my face has not been sun burnt. I cannot stress enough that everyone needs sunscreen, even in the winter, there are still sun rays. Proper moisturizing and sunscreen are the best age defense.

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Burts Bees Brightening moisturizing cream- On days that im just going to hang around the house I still wear moisturzer. Because im not out in the light I opt not to use a moisturziour with sunscreen. Instead I use the Burts Bees Brightening moisturzing cream. It evens skintone and helps with dark spots and discolouration. I like using this to help with the discoloration of my acne marks and with some sun spots.

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soap and glory speed plump-I mostly go this because I needed a nighttime moisturizer and this was on sale. When I looked it up and saw that soap and glory doesn't test on animals I thought I'd buy it. Its not bad but inst a must need for me. After I applied the moisturizer I alternate between sleeping masks Overnight masks: innisfree green tea sleeping mask- What can I say I really like this skincare brand, I have yet to try a bad product from them. I bought this mask for those times when I need that extra moisture. Like their other products a little goes a long ways.

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Tonymoly Panda's Dream White Sleeping Mask- I use this mask for my dark spots and acne scars. I had this sun spot that was a good size, in addition to a scar spot thing. I started to use this mask and they faded away.

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Eyes lilyana Naturals eye cream: The eyes are one of the aeras that age first. I learned that the younger you start taking care of your eye aera, the less age there will be. Even though there wasnt much age aroung my eyes I defentely saw a change for the better

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my lash serum etude house-I Finally got my hands on this. It peaked my interest a while ago. I always had pretty long lashes I just wanted the fullness. Now I do have extensions, im my friends little guiena pig I still use it though. I also am using on my eyebrows as I say other serums where you can use it on both.

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makeup removers make up wipes: In my experience there are two brands of makeup whipes that I will buy. The two brands are Petal Fresh Pure and Burts bees. They dont irritae my skin and they can get the makeup off without elbow grease.

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etude house lips and eye remover: For a while finding a cruelty free eye makeup remover was not easy. It was actually the one product that was keeping my from going completely cruelty free. Now it isnt too hard to find a remover but for a while it was. So I turned to Korean skincare. This remover is priced very reasonable and is effective.

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bliss makeup melt-This peaked my interest and I had to try it. I use it as an alternative to the wipes to reduce the waste I make. I pump twice and whipe it on my face and like the name implies the make up just melts away. I just rinse it off and traces of makeup are gone.

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#beauty #makeup #witchyfashion #beauty tips #crueltyfree #cruelty free #vegan #etude house #Korean beauty #burts bees

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skincarebeautymakeuptips · 4 years

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The Top 5 Waterproof Concealers for Summer 2020

While a global pandemic might have kept up inside for months, it’s time to go outside and celebrate the sun (while practicing social distancing of course). An outdoor day at a private pool or a secluded beach might be just what the doctor ordered to cure your quarantine blues. Since you’re going outside in the hot summer sun, you’ll want to make sure your makeup contains SPF and waterproof formula so you don’t have to spend all day worrying about your look.

Here are the top 5 waterproof concealers for summer.

#1. Effacernes Waterproof Protective Undereye Concealer by Lancome

Eliminate all signs of fatigue or aging with this natural-looking coverage. Its waterproof formula makes it perfect for summertime wear. It can cover your dark circles and minimize the sight of fine lines around the eyes. Lancome is a well-established brand that you can count on and trust. This concealer can help you look summer-fresh.

#2. Double Wear Waterproof All Day Extreme Wear Concealer by Estée Lauder

This flawless-looking concealer lasts up to 15 hours and can withstand a beach trip without blinking an eye. It is transfer-resistant and has medium coverage that is buildable for stubborn spots. Get even-toned skin and hide unwanted blemishes with ease. Choose a Double Wear Concealer shade that matches your foundation or go one shade lighter.

#3. Infallible Full Wear Concealer by L’Oreal

L’Oreal features this full-face concealer in a wide range of colors so you can get just the right blend. You’ll get a flawless matte finish that can double as a contour or highlight product in different shades. Get rid of undereye circles, acne scars, fine lines, and age spots in a snap. This is a full-coverage formula so a little goes a long way.

#4. BAREPRO 16-HR Full Coverage Concealer by bareMinerals

From the makers of the world-famous mineral powder foundation, comes this cream concealer stick that glides on smooth for 16 hours of nonstop waterproof coverage. Color correction and blemish concealment have never been easier. The formula also nourishes the skin and protects it from the harsh sun and other environmental factors so you can sit back with your umbrella drink in an air deck chair and relax. The BAREPRO formula is built to last and contains additional SPF protection. You can get a matching foundation from his brand as well.

#5. Amazing Concealer by Amazing Cosmetics

If you want one truly amazing product in your makeup bag this summer, then go for the brand so confident they named themselves “Amazing.” The Amazing Concealer is trusted by both professionals and everyday enthusiasts alike. You’ll get all-day waterproof summer-wear with some cucumber fruit extract to nourish your skin at the same time.

No need to worry about the dark circles under your eyes from last night’s late-night bonfire when you have the best concealer backing you up the next day. A lightweight waterproof concealer can help you look fresh and dewy at the beach this year. Whether you need a waterproof concealer or a variety of other skincare or makeup products, you should consider using Mira Beauty to find & compare thousands of beauty products, user ratings, reviews, and recommendations so that you never buy a bad beauty product again.

Source: https://stylevanity.com/2020/06/the-top-5-waterproof-concealers-for-summer-2020.html

#concealers #waterproof concealers #mira #beauty #makeup #summer #beaches #pool #makeup lovers #makeup addicts #skincare

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drkeerthanakalva · 4 years

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Advanced Pigmentation Treatment to Brighten Skin Tone

Pigmentation is a skin condition that refers to as dark spots on the skin. Aging, hormonal changes, sun damage, side effects of medications, genetics, smoking, pollution, pregnancy, and underlying medical disease can cause pigmentation. Pigmentation mostly occurs on the face, hands, back, back, and affects an individual's overall appearance. Dr. Keerthana Kalva, one of the best dermatologist in Hyderabad, provides various effective skin rejuvenating cosmetic treatments using advanced technology and procedures.

Dr. Kalva, first properly analyses the condition of the patient and then conducts various laboratory and blood tests to determine the major causative agent of the skin or hair disease. After proper analysis, Dr. Kalva provides a customized treatment plan to deliver successful results. Pigmentation can occur in both dark and light skin people, and pigmentation is caused when excess melanin is produced by the body or when the skin tries to protect itself from the harmful effects of UV rays emitted by the sun. This makes the affected area of the skin dark compared to the normal color of the skin. Melasma, freckles, sun spots, liver spots, hyperpigmentation, are the most common types of pigmentation. Each of the types of pigmentation has a different cause and range of treatment. Pigmentation patches are darker than surrounding skin areas, and if this condition is not provided proper treatment at an initial phase, the condition can worsen over time. At Inform Clinics, Dr. Keerthana Kalva, the best skin doctor in Hyderabad provides various advanced and effective pigmentation treatments in Hyderabad, which include:

a. Lightening creams: These creams contain skin lightening agents that help to lighten the skin tone and help correct melasma, age spots, and other hyperpigmentation problems.

b. Laser treatment: This method uses laser light that is absorbed by the dark pigmentation, such as freckles, age spots, acne scar, melasma, and this laser light is selective to dark pigments and does not cause damage to the surrounding skin areas. The laser light breaks down the dark pigmentation into smaller particles, and the body's immune system removes the broken down pigments. The lasers also improve the blood circulation, boost collagen production, promote the growth of new skin cells, and helps an individual to achieve a lighter and brighter skin tone. Skin experts provide pigmentation laser treatment in Hyderabad at Inform Clinics using advanced and safe laser technology.

c. IPL or Intense Pulsed Light: This treatment corrects various types of pigmentation problems. IPL is a non-invasive treatment uses light energy that is absorbed by the dark melanin-containing target cells, and it does not disrupt the skin surface. This treatment works best for fair and olive color skin tone. Within a few sessions, one can see a brighter and clear skin tone.

d. Mesotherapy: In this treatment, fine needles are used to inject essential serums, enzymes, vitamins, minerals, skin lightening agents into the middle layer of the skin to treat pigmentation. This treatment helps in skin rejuvenation and rebuild the damaged collagen fibers.

e. Chemical peels: Various types of chemical peels such as superficial, medium, and deep peels contain essential acids like salicylic, mandelic, glycolic, lactic, TCA, and many more, all of which help to fight pigmentation problems. The chemical peels target the different skin layers at different depths. Depending upon the pigmentation depth, the type of peels is used. The peels remove pigmentation, exfoliate the dead skin cells, stimulate collagen production, and offers a lighter skin tone.

f. Microdermabrasion: This treatment uses a minimally abrasive treatment that gently exfoliates the damaged skin layer and is effective in treating age spots. It shrinks large open pores, improves hyperpigmentation, and reduces fine lines and wrinkles.

g. Fractional CO2: This treatment uses skin resurfacing mechanism that removes the damaged skin layer and reduces fine lines, wrinkles, deeper pigmentation, and offers a youthful and lighter skin tone. The treatment creates microscopic holes in the skin, which allows the skin tissue to heal quickly, remodel the skin collagen, and the new skin is younger, smoother, and healthier.

The most effective way to prevent pigmentation at initial phase is to avoid excessive sun exposure, and other is to prevent the picking of scabs, injury spots, and acne. Pigmentation concern does not correct on its own, but an expert can help to correct this concern effectively.

Inform Clinics is the best skin clinic that provides optimum customized treatment for pigmentation and other skin concerns. At the clinic, the procedures are performed under the supervision of skin expert Dr. Keerthana Kalva. To know more about the cost of pigmentation treatment in Hyderabad, visit Inform Clinics.

Blog Resource: https://drkeerthanakalva.wordpress.com/2020/06/10/advanced-pigmentation-treatment-to-brighten-skin-tone/

#Pigmentation laser treatment in Hyderabad #pigmentation treatment in Hyderabad #Best dermatologist in Hyderabad #Best skin doctor in Hyderabad

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nlavance · 4 years

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Nulavance Anti Aging Cream

Nulavance Cream is a sound still natural skin tone arrangement that plans to lessen the moles and pores from the skin tone of the individual. A specific ladies can without much of a stretch upgrade the skin tone effortlessly. Our answer will handily permit any ladies to diminish all the contaminations from the skin tone of the individual. Any individual can undoubtedly appreciate the successful working of this arrangement with no sort of deterrent or inconvenience.

Nulavance Cream is genuine in all the nations and individuals from anyplace can without much of a stretch make out the buy. Individuals of Canada are truly adoring crafted by this arrangement still they are appreciating the powerful working of it. In the event that you are searching for improving your own skin tone, at that point we are here to help you out with our best arrangement.

WHAT IS NULAVANCE ANTI-AGING CREAM?

The most ideal approach to battle wrinkles is to utilize an item with attempted and tried fixings. The stunning thing about the Nulavance Cream recipe is that the entirety of the dynamic fixings it contains have their examination tried advantages, for example, peptides and regular fixings. What's more, this cream has a double activity in the manner it supports your skin. It both relieves your skin and has hostile to maturing, wrinkle-smoothing properties. These two impacts are best when consolidated. Why? In the event that you have mitigating without hostile to maturing, your wrinkles and barely recognizable differences won't be tended to.

HOW DOES THE FORMULA WORK IN THE SKIN?

The counter maturing cream may work uniquely in contrast to other enemy of maturing equations. It may not reason results like irritation or skin aggravation. This skin recipe may lessen wrinkles, scarce differences, imperfections, and dull spots. It might improve skin tone step by step and give glossy skin inside half a month.

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF USING THE NULAVANCE FORMULA?

Nulavance may support collagen creation in the skin. It might make your skin milder and smoother inside half a month. This item may stop skin harm and assemble firm skin structure. A lift in collagen creation may give a shining and immaculate face.

Nulavance may give dampness to the skin under the eyes. It might eliminate dark circles and puffiness around the eyes. One may get excellent skin under the eyes. The minor imperfections, for example, dull spots, flaws, and skin break out may fix in the wake of utilizing the skin cream for quite a while.

Skin is the most uncovered part. It gets messy and sleek because of residue, poisons, and UV beams. This enemy of maturing cream may eliminate flotsam and jetsam of the skin. It might eliminate earth, oil, and debasements from the skin and make it more white. One may get a brilliant and excellent face with the normal utilization of this enemy of maturing recipe.

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galivantingg · 4 years

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Short Story Slam 2020

June 8th

for @short-story-slam

July 2015

This was probably the hottest summer in a long time, longer than Nim can remember. The sun beating on the back of his neck, sweat dripping down into his eyes; ah, who couldn't love this. The unbearable heat, the unforgiving sunlight, the lack of wind. Yes, this is exactly what Nim needs. His optimistic thoughts were interrupted by someone walking up to him, saying nothing. He looks at the girl. She has pretty olive skin, long dark hair, and almond shaped eyes. She's wearing shorts and a white tank top, in hopes that it would reflect some of the heat off of her. Nim was wearing the same.

"You utter bitch, how dare you wear the same thing as me," the girl said, with a small smile on her face.

"What can I say? I'm your biggest fan," Nim grinned at her. She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Sign my face Maeve! Please!"

"Shut up you asshole, let's just go. I want ice cream," She turned away but couldn't hide the smile that came to her face. Nim and Maeve had met the previous school year, through one of their other friends, Michael. Since then, they had become very close, spending every afternoon when school ended together, usually at Nim's house. They did everything together, school projects, sports, shopping. If one didn't know any better, they'd say the two are a couple. Sometimes Nim wishes they were, but that's a secret. He kept it buried down deep, never letting it see the light of day, paying it no mind.

They chatted while walking down the street, heading to the corner store and then on to the park nearby. Nim was very animated, talking with his hands, and the occasional glare was sent his way. Maeve didn't like drawing attention to herself, and walking around with Nim was like walking around holding a flashing neon sign that said Look At Me!! Suffice to say, they were an odd pair. Nim was outgoing, although he only had a few close friends. He was friendly with everyone, knew all his peers names, but he didn't really hang out with them, at least not one on one. Maeve was quieter, preferring to sit in the library with her homework or a book, just enjoying the silence. During class she always sported her earbuds, one plugged in and the other dangling from her neck.

Say what you will about the two, but they made it work. There was no closer pair.

Nim made a show of opening the door for Maeve, flourishing with his hand and doing a little bow. She rolled her eyes at his antics but proceeded through the open door nonetheless. Nim greeted the woman at the desk, he was a familiar face, and the two teenagers puttered around the aisles for a few minutes, wondering what to get. It was a hot day, ice cream was definitely in order, but what else?

The bell above the door jangled with another customer coming in. Maeve and Nim finally decided on what they wanted, and walked up to the desk ready to pay. They waited patiently in line behind the young man asking about lottery tickets, making small talk.

Then the man pulled out a gun, and threatened their lives.

"Shut up and do as I say or I'll blow your damn heads off!" He yelled, a frantic look in his eyes. Nim and Maeve reacted instantly; dropping the goodies in their hands and putting them up in the air. The shopkeeper was frozen, but flinched hard and did as the man said when he repeated himself, this time waving the gun in the woman's face. "Give me all the money in the register, and all the lottery tickets you have left." The woman hesitated. "Now!" He screamed, firing once into the air. The window he was aiming at shattered, and Maeve let out a small scream. The shopkeeper shakily started gathering everything he wanted, leaving them in silence.

That damn silence.

"Sir?" Nim said hesitantly, his voice barely above a whisper. The young man whipped around, pointing the gun at Nim. He didn't flinch.

"What do you want," the man had an edge in his voice, and edge that told Nim that if he didn't tread carefully, he could end up dead.

"I'm sorry but you're really scaring me, could you let us go please?" Nim had to try. His first instinct was to protect Maeve, not because he loves her, but because she's his friend.

There was a flash of rage in the young man's eyes and he lunged towards Maeve, grabbing for her collar. Nim could see it all in slow motion. The man grabbing Maeve, placing the gun to her temple, and then shooting her. Something came over him, and he reached out to the man before he could get to Maeve, grabbed his arm, spun him and flipped him in the small quarters. Candy went flying everywhere, but Nim only had his eyes set on that gun. That machine of death, of hatred, or terror. Quick as he could, he twisted the arm he was holding and put pressure on it, stepping over the man and stepping on his other wrist. When the man finally let go of the gun, Nim swooped down and picked it up in his hand, stepping back towards Maeve as fast as possible, holding the deadly weapon with both hands. The man scrambled to his feet, arms up, and in the distance, Nim could hear sirens.

No more silence.

"Don't move," Nim warned.

"Nim," Maeve sobbed. "Nim what are you doing put the gun down."

At the sound of her words, Nim relaxed, shoulders dropping and arms lowering slightly. His eyes softened, and he began to realise what exactly he had just done. He is currently holding a gun, an actual loaded gun, and pointing it at a person. It doesn't matter who this person is or what his intentions were. This is a living breathing person, that Nim is pointing a gun at. The man lunges forward again, desperation in his eyes and messing up his movements. Before Nim knew what he was doing, he pulled the trigger, shooting the man right in the head. The man crumpled forward, a pool of blood beginning to form art Nim's feet. Nim lets out a gasp, his shoulders shuddering. The sirens got louder. So did Maeve's crying. Almost completely empty, Nim releases the clip, letting it drop onto his feet. He tosses the now useless gun at the man's feet, and slowly lowers himself onto his knees, his hands clasped behind his head.

"Maeve," her sobbing got quieter. "Leave now. Go back home. I'll tell my parents to update you. You shouldn't be involved in this. Go, now." Nim's tone was quiet and even, no room for argument. He heard her feet leaving, winding through the aisles until the bell above the door jangled once more.

September 2015

The trial.

Charged with: murder in the first degree.

Defensive pleads: killing in self-defence.

Reduced to: manslaughter with a deadly weapon.

Verdict: Not guilty.

Nim goes back to school.

November, 2015

Nim: Where are you?

Maeve: Hanging out with friends today too, I'll see you tomorrow in eng

Nim: Stay safe

Nim locked his phone and slid it into his pocket, looking around the now empty hall. He masked his face, but couldn't help the ugly feeling that rose up inside in him. Maeve had been doing this since the second week of school, and it's now November. Of course Maeve can find other friends, she doesn't have to stay with Nim every free moment she has. She doesn't owe anything to Nim, she never promised she'd hang out with him. She doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to. Besides, Nim knew she was going to move on from him, find new friends and all that. He encouraged it even. And, she had been doing this almost every single day anyway, so it wasn't like Nim wasn't used to spending lunch alone.

So why does it still hurt so much?

Why does it chip away at Nim's heart every time he gets that text?

Because he loves her, and he wants to spend all his time with her.

It was a realization that was a long time coming. It was something Nim had been putting off for years, too scared to admit it, always skirting around the fact. He didn't like it. Didn't want it. No thanks, come back never. Not for him. Except it was. He is in love with his best friend, and there's nothing he can do about it. He certainly can't tell her. That's the downside of being in love with your best friend. That's the one person you go to for these kinds of things, but it's a little different when it's them you're in love with. So Nim kept it to himself, letting it eat away at him like a rat to a leftover burger tossed near the garbage bin in some back alley. He let it fester, and consume, and eventually, he let it rot.

On that happy note, he turned on his heel and walked down the hallway, neck bent, heading for the doors closest to his house. The hair outside was brisk, and he breathed in deeply, letting the fresh air convince him for a moment that he was whole, that he was sane, that he was. It didn't last. It never lasts. Nothing ever lasts, which is exactly why he needs to let go of Maeve. She obviously wants to move on, so why not let her.

With that mentality, Nim moved forward. He didn't text Maeve anymore, asking if she was going to spend lunch with him. He'd wait three minutes at their spot, and if she didn't come, then she didn't come. He'd make himself a sandwich, and put on a show, spending the fifty minute lunch period wrapped up in another world. Then back to school. And that's how things went, until one day, it changed. He happened across Maeve in the hall with her new friends, and one of them had her sketchbook out open to a drawing of a wolf. He couldn't help but compliment her on it. She invited him to spend lunch with them. Suddenly, Maeve was thrust back into Nim's life, and he was part of this group of four others, four others who seemed to actually want to get to know Nim, who seemed to actually want to spend time with him. So he spent time with them, and discovered that hey, these were actually some pretty cool people. They had the same interests as Nim, preferring to spend lunch outdoors during the good weather.

So why did Nim still feel empty?

Why did his heart still hurt?

Why did his morale continue to erode?

Easy, Maeve was still in his life. It's hard to fall out of love with someone when you go from never seeing them to spending every day with them. Nim saw her every single day now, and he was loving it. He loved being her best friend. Maybe it was the fact that she was broken, and needed help. Maybe it was because she understood Nim, who was also broken, and needed help. Maybe it was simply the fact that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever met, inside and out. Whatever the reason, he hated it, but cherished it at the same time. He cursed himself for doing this, for falling for someone who was off-limits. But it meant that he was capable of these feelings, he was capable of caring for someone that deeply.

So that's how it went for the next couple of years, until one November, Meave got a boyfriend. A boyfriend who blew her off, who told her she's pretty one day and the next tells her she's average. He says he wants to spend all this time with her, but then says he's too busy, and never makes any plans. He never put in the effort to treat her right, but that isn't even the bad part. The bad part is that she just accepts it. Maeve loves it. She's totally hung up on him. She expresses anger towards him for this attitude, but when it comes down to it, he calls, she comes.

It was killing Nim, so of course, he gets himself involved.

Their relationship doesn't get any better.

Maeve gets worse.

January, 2017

Nim: Why can't you see what's happening Maeve? If he really cared, then he'd be there. He's not.

Maeve: Why can't you see it's none of your fucking business. You didn't have to get involved. It's my problem, and I can deal with it. He's just nervous, he doesn't know what to do. You don't know anything. Besides, he really cares about me. I need this.

Nim: Why can't my support and love for you be enough? Isn't our friendship enough to tell you that you are worth it?

Maeve: Our friendship isn't enough to keep me alive.

Maeve switches schools.

May 2017

Nim: Hey, if you want to come to the athletic banquet just let us know and we'll tell Harrison. He'll sort everything out, you'll just have to pay. Hope you're doing alright

Two Weeks Later

Nim: If you don't want to come, just fucking say so, instead of ignoring me.

Maeve: You of all people should know that sometimes I just can't talk to people, that I don't want to talk to people. I thought you would understand, but apparently you don't.

How was Nim supposed to know? She didn't say, I don't want to talk right now. She didn't turn on her read receipts, she doesn't even show up to their badminton practices anymore. Nim didn't even know what he was feeling, but he knew it wasn't love. He didn't love her anymore.

October 2017

He didn't love her, not anymore. At least, that's what he told himself. Hey, whatever helps him sleep at night, right?

January 2018

Time passed. Nim grew closer with Felix and Cara, spending lunches and weekends with them. They would find their little corner in the basement of the school, tucked away from the rest of the world. It was perfect, quiet, simple. Nim couldn't ask for anything better. He had become numb inside, the shock from losing his best friend and the trial. It had been almost three years since the trial, but it was like it had happened yesterday and like something Nim would imagine at the same time. It didn't feel real. How could it be real? He actually killed a man, Nim did. Nim killed a man. A real life living breathing alive man, and he's not in jail. Funny, right?

It's not funny.

He murdered someone. Granted, it was out of self defence, which apparently makes him innocent. How does that work? People in the army don't get charged with murder and that's like half their job. They're expected to kill, hired to kill even. How is that allowed? Lately Nim has been disappearing into his mind, thinking about that afternoon, that fateful day as one might call it. No one would call it that. Fateful day is usually associated with good events, not murder. Felix and Cara have noticed Nim zoning out, and have tried their best to bring him back in when he slips into one of his episodes. His teachers had noticed too, but he often got called out of class to see the social worker, Irene is her name, so they don't say a thing. They just let him go, knowing there is nothing they can do about it. It's up to someone else.

Nim didn't really have a coping mechanism, at least not one he had control over. Yeah he'd zone out, check out from reality, book an appointment with his unconscious, but he didn't have an actual coping mechanism. That's something Irene has been suggesting to him. Find something he can do to take his mind off of the events that occurred. Something productive, something healthy, something helpful. Something good. She suggested writing, but Nim found a better coping mechanism.

Alcohol.

And how, perchance, did Nim come across this coping mechanism?

Cara.

Enter January sixteenth, two thousand and eighteen. Now that's a fateful day. Cara had her birthday party at a hotel, courtesy of her parents, and included was a bottle of tequila. It was the first time Nim had ever had alcohol, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. There were quite a few people there, so Nim only had a couple shots, not enough to get drunk, but enough to get hooked. So began the stretch of partying and drinking, which would last roughly a year. Maybe more. Now that Cara knew Nim was cool with drinking, she invited him over more and they would share a bottle, dancing around her room in their pjs and singing horribly to their favourite songs.

Felix was never invited. Nim asked after the second or third time, and Cara told him it was because Felix doesn't like alcohol, or drugs for that matter. Like really doesn't like them. Fair, Nim thought, but he missed hanging out with him. These mini parties brought Nim and Cara even closer, officially making them best friends.

All of the mini parties were the same, but sometimes Cara would have bigger parties. Invite more people, have more alcohol. One of these parties Nim's childhood friend Josie was invited too. She tried to stop Nim from drinking too much, but Nim couldn't be stopped. Tequila made him warm inside, made his mind happy and his heart light. Tequila made him feel again, well, feel happy. Not physical feeling. He always managed to get some kind of small cut on him at these parties, but he never noticed until the next day.

Nim discovered that people seemed to like him better when he was drunk. They found him funnier, he made conversation easier, and they smiled at him more. Maybe it was because they were also drunk, but it didn't matter. He felt whole again. It was not good. Was that going to stop him? Of course not. You could pry that shot from Nim's cold dead hands and he'd still find a way to get more alcohol in him. Josie tried to stop Nim, but he wasn't having it.

The night passed in a blur. Nim noticed a cut on his foot, asked for a bandaid and was told that if he put a bandaid on it it would grow mouldy, because that's how things work. Drunk people are very smart. He spent half the night taking care of another girl, Julia, and the other half hugging Maeve's ex, claiming to forgive him for it, putting it behind him. He doesn't know why he did that, but he did, and it's not something he can change now. It was a night for sure, not one he'll forget for a while.

February 2018

Time passed again. Somewhere along the way Felix started coming to the parties, drinking with them. Nim doesn't know what changed but he could definitely say he loved spending more time with him. He still wouldn't drink a lot, he'd nurse the occasional beer or cider, but he was there and that's all that mattered. The colder weather brought on photoshoots, which continued on for months. It boosted Nim's confidence by leaps and bounds, having his two best friends, who were very attractive, want to take photos of him. He didn't feel attractive, but they kept taking photos of him. Slowly but surely, Nim became more stable. He started walking with his head lifted up, and his voice tended to waver less. He actually started to like himself, maybe even love himself.

Okay he wouldn't go that far, but he definitely did like himself now.

His best friends became his support system, his parents not knowing what to say or do in order to help him. They threatened to take him to a hospital one night, and the only way to avoid that was if Nim showered and came down to eat dinner. He hated every second of being in that house, but his room was his sanctuary, aside from Cara's house across the street. He'd often be out on dog walks, especially right after school. He took great comfort in the routine. Dropped his bag at home, walked outside to see Cara with the two dogs and off they'd go.

Along with this confidence boost, Nim started taking care of himself again. He still didn't interact with his family much, preferring to stay locked up in his room on his computer. He did, however, start eating again. And showering. And doing his homework. Wild right? His grades doubled in a month because of attendance alone, and he started talking to his teachers, seeing if there was any way he could make up for all the missing work. It turns out, if you ask nicely enough and tell the truth, you do actually get what you want. So he handed in his assignments, and his marks went up again, this time settling around the mid seventies, which is pretty good for missing two whole months straight. His teachers started congratulating him, commending him on his hard work, and he started to see Irene less and less.

He relapsed. It hit him hard, and he started drinking almost every day. He didn't know how to deal with those horrid memories, the sound of the gun, Maeve crying, the sirens in the distance. The cold hard silence of the courtroom. That damn silence. But this time he had his friends, and his teachers. This time he knew what success looked like, had tasted it, lived it, and he wanted it again. He worked his ass off, and kept his marks above sixty. He didn't know what to do. He was functioning, but he felt numb again. Time could only tell.

March 2018

They wanted to go on a trip, the three of them. They looked at Spain and Portugal, they looked at Ireland, Greece, and when Nim's parents told him they didn't want him going to another continent, they looked at San Francisco. Then came the truth. Nim's parents told him that they believe he doesn't deserve to go on a trip with his friends. Why? Because of all the shit he pulled this school year. Because he would spend months in his room, not eating, just sleeping. Because he started failing classes and acting incredibly rude to his family. Nim doesn't deserve to go on a graduation trip.

Nim loses it. He cries. He had been putting in the effort for a solid two months, making a comeback. He was passing all his classes, he was being nice again, he was being part of the family. He was. He was being. But not enough. Never enough for his parents. So he leaves. He texts Cara and they go on a dog walk, to the park. Nim is sobbing the whole time, uncontrollably. He doesn't know what's come over him, doesn't know why this is hurting so hart, but it is. It really fucking hurts. Felix shows up at the park, with Nim's favourite drink and chocolate, two of each in fact. He loves his friends. He really does. Somewhere along the way, they had become his support system. Somewhere along the way, he grew to care so much for them.

So that's why it hurts so much when he finds out they booked a flight to Spain together. Together. Spain. Two weeks. Together.

Nim cries again. His friends will leave him one by one, until he is all alone.

Then something different happens. Cara books them flights to Montreal. The two of them spend a week in Quebec, not as exotic as Spain, or even San Francisco, but it was a trip. They were going on a trip together, them. Felix couldn't come, he had spent a lot of money and needed to work, but he hadn't been forgotten, not even when the two of them went to Spain. Cara got him a shot glass from Madrid, and the two of them got Nim a shirt, a pen and enamel pins. They were thinking of him when they were gone. They thought of him. They really did care.

September 2018

"Is that your key in your pocket or are you just excited to see me?" Felix smirked at Nim. A guy makes one joke and suddenly it's the only joke he's ever made. It's not even one of his good jokes.

"Oh Felix," Nim looked at the ground bashfully, then back up at his friend. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you. . ."

Cara walked over in time to hear that. She lifted her hands up in a placating manner and backed up slowly. "Aight I'm out, that's it. Have at 'er."

The three of them look at each other, then burst out laughing. Their friendship was a weird one. It consisted of a couple and their weirdo third wheel, who is simultaneously their mom, and Felix 2.0. Yep, makes no sense. It was Nim's way of coping with his feelings. He didn't want to be left out, so he inserted himself between them and made up a reason as to why he did. He loved his best friends, he really did, but. But. Every time something like this happened, even though Nim was laughing with them, his heart clenched just a little, and he felt fragile.

It was bugging him, he couldn't figure out what it was.

Oh well, it can't be that important then.

Maybe it was the fact that every time he touched his key he thought of something else metal makes.

Maybe it was the sudden change in thoughts he had for his best friend.

Maybe it was the depression.

Who knows. Certainly not Nim.

"Hey bitch boy," Felix called out. Nim looked up. Felix grinned, "how did I know that you would respond to that?" Nim rolled his eyes and turned his gaze back to the book in his lap. "Why don't you come out with Cara and me tonight? Have a drink, lose the book, maybe dance a little? It could be fun, you never know."

Nim sighed, then looked back at Felix. "Bub you know I don't like that scene," he waited for the reaction of that nickname. Felix looked disgusted. "That's how I feel when you call me bitch boy," Nim looked back at his book.

"Please man," Felix tried again. "For me?" He kept staring at Nim, with that stupid look on his face.

"Don't pull that shit with me, I don't want to go. Don't pressure me."

Felix sighed but left it alone. Cara walked over, and wrapped her free arm around Felix's neck, planting a soft kiss on the top of his head. Nim just looked at them, his heart getting tighter and tighter. Jealousy reared its ugly head, and it took all of Nim's energy to shove it so far down that it would never see the light of day, at least for a bit. He smiled softly at them instead, wishing it was him. He wished he was dating his best friend. But alas, he is, in fact, the bitch boy. He was never going to admit his feelings, it would ruin everything the three of them had. He couldn't do that to Cara and Felix. They had something so good, so precious. He couldn't come between them.

Even if they broke up.

Nim knew it was coming. Cara had admitted herself that she doesn't like commitment, at least romantic commitment. When she had said that, Nim's heart had stopped, and he couldn't help but think that he would eventually lose her. Lately, they've been getting into little spats or something like that. All Nim knows is that their relationship has changed. They aren't as affectionate, and it's not just the end of what people call the honeymoon phase. They were friends first, they're used to casual touching, but that has lessened.

On the one hand, Nim was worried. He didn't want to have to choose between them, to have to pick a side. He couldn't do that. On the other hand, if they broke up, that would basically fix all of Nim's problems. Well, some of them. Actually, maybe not. Who knew.

October 2018

It was happening again. Nim could see the cracks forming between Felix and Cara, the tensions rising, the walls building themselves back up. From the outside looking in, you couldn't really tell anything was wrong. The three of them were just walking to the park, bags slung over their shoulders and the wind lifting up their hair. The sun was shining down on the three friends, reflecting off of Nim's pale skin and soaking into Cara's darker skin. From the outside looking in, it was just three friends quietly enjoying each other's company.

But Nim knew better.

Felix and Cara had another argument. Nim didn't know what it was about and honestly didn't want to know what it was about. Nim just wanted them to get over it. It was selfish of Nim, but Felix and Cara are his only friends. He can't stand it when they aren't getting along but pretend just for him. Nim could tell it was a big argument, because not only was there space between them when they were walking, they also weren't talking. If the fight wasn't bad, which means neither of them was really angry, then their hands would most likely brush, or their shoulders would touch. If one of them was actually mad, they wouldn't touch, but they'd still talk. They weren't talking, they weren't even making an effort to pretend in front of Nim, which means it was really bad.

He knew how this was going to go. They were going to get to the park, he was going to make some jokes, notice they weren't landing, and shut up. Then Felix will mutter some excuse about homework or something and walk home alone. Cara will be even more annoyed and will make some comment under her breath about it, then also make an excuse as to why she needs to go home, leaving Nim all alone, like usual. It always went like this. Nim had become good at reading them since they both tended to keep things to themselves and had also become very good at ignoring the problem. If they wanted to dwell on it they can, but it's not Nim's problem. He wasn't part of the argument, he doesn't have to pretend to be anything. Besides, Nim had discovered that his routine of not asking about it and ignoring it actually helped them get over it, at least that's what it looked like.

Who knew how often Cara and Felix met without Nim.

Not that they needed to include him every time. They were a couple after all.

But it would be nice, to be wanted all the time by someone.

Nim knew exactly what someone he wanted to be wanted by, but he shook his head quickly and shoved those feelings so far down he was afraid he'd shit them out. Cara looked over questioningly, but Nim ignored her. He didn't want to talk about it. Talking about it made it real. He's got a lot of secrets he doesn't want to share, but probably should. Like the fact that he's severely depressed, any social setting makes him anxious, and he literally hates every single thing about himself. That among other things, like how his family also hates him, he once killed a man and got away with it, and he sometimes wants to be a girl, but only sometimes.

Heavy stuff.

"Bye Saint," Cara called from her porch. Nim was so lost in thought he hadn't noticed that they had reached the street they both live on. A flicker of annoyance crossed his mind at the mention of his original nickname, but he kept it from slipping out and waved bye to her. She opened the door and walked inside, leaving Nim to turn and head down the street to his house. He didn't want to go home yet, but he had things to do. He hiked his bag higher up on his shoulder and crossed the street, finally reaching his destination. It was incredibly convenient that his best friend lived across the street from him, and has dogs that's an added bonus, and he could go over to her house any time he wanted. It was his safe haven. The only thing keeping him sane.

He said nothing when he opened the door, knowing no one really cared if he was home, no matter how many times they reassured him. He dropped his bag at the foot of the steps in the corner, planning on picking it up in a minute when he goes upstairs. Nim walks into the kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it with water.

"Hi mama," he says quietly, taking a sip and avoiding eye contact.

"Hi sweetie," Coraline says gently, all her attention focused on the papers in front of her. "Dad won't be home for another couple hours, and then we're going out for dinner with Ken. It's a fend for yourself kind of night. There's pizza in the freezer if you want."

"Okay, thank you. I've got some homework I need to do, so I'll see you tomorrow." Nim puts the glass down and turns on his heel, picks up his bag in one smooth motion and climbs the staircase quietly.

September 2019

Nim was laying in his university dorm bed, eight months later, staring blankly at the ceiling. He was trying to avoid thinking about exactly what he was thinking about, but the more you tell yourself not to think about it, the more you do. It was getting to the point that Nim could no longer ignore it. His big secret. It's been months, and he still feels the same way, so it's probably safe to say that it's real. Phooey. He couldn't take it anymore, it was like it was killing him from the inside, which is weird considering what the secret is.

It had been about six months since Cara and Felix broke up. Thankfully it didn't really affect the friend group, which is amazing because Nim doesn't have any other friends. He's glad that it didn't come between their friendship. Honestly, Nim wanted to cry. He didn't know what to do. He was crushing on Felix, hard. It was probably the biggest problem he had. You know, aside from the crippling depression and anxiety, and the fact that he hasn't gone to class in a week, and hasn't handed in any assignments yet. Oops. Love that for him. On top of all that, because of course there's something worse happening on top of all of this, Cara is mad at him. Because he told her how he feels. Not his brightest move, but he needed his best friend. So not only is he feeling all of this, he's feeling all of it alone. Yay.

See the thing is, Cara said she doesn't want to be involved. Nim told her that she is involved, no matter what she wants. She's involved on both his side and Felix's side. She said no, she doesn't want to know that Nim is feeling, doesn't want to know if he tells Felix, and certainly doesn't want to know what Felix says to it. On one hand, Nim completely understands. Nim wouldn't want to be involved, so he gets it. On the other hand, he needs his best friend, his best friend who knows both of them as well as she knows herself. He needs the only other person besides Felix who knows him and Felix.

It's not like he can text Felix and be like "hey so I have this massive crush on you, got any idea on how I can get over it?" And that's the other thing. Nim doesn't want anything to come from it. Okay, that's a lie. He most certainly would love to date Felix, but out of respect for Cara, Nim knows nothing will ever happen. He made that clear and he made it clear that he is scared of his feelings, and he doesn't want them. He doesn't want his feelings for Felix. But he has them, and saying something out loud counteracts that thing so yeah he's planning on telling Felix at some point.

Oh wait, there's more. The local superhero, yes they exist, yes it is dumb, yes they actually wear spandex, no Nim doesn't know why, has been harassing Nim to join him on his mission to take down his nemesis and his newfound sidekick. Bad guys having sidekicks before the hero does? Weird. The point is that Nim is way too busy doing absolutely nothing to help out Captain Sunshine. Yeah, that's his name. Legit. Funny enough his powers have nothing to do with sunshine or light of any kind. He's a teleporter. But enough about Captain Stupid, it's time to get to the real problem.

Nim was supposed to clean.

Oops.

Guess he's going to sleep instead.

The next morning he did not clean, but he did shower and go to class, so there's that. He's at his desk, actually working for once when someone strolls into his room.

"I'll give you three seconds to get out before I call the cops," Nim said halfheartedly. A part of him thought it was a robber or someone coming to kill him, which would be nice, but the other half knew he isn't that lucky.

"Oho, but I am the cops," the person said. Nim recognized the voice and groaned out loud. Of course, it was him. "Come on, don't be like that! We could do great things together!"

And the final thing on Nim's mind, the sudden remembering of his powers. I mean he suppressed his feelings for like ten months and suppressed two mental illnesses for however many years it was. Turns out he's basically Magneto, (copyright) so yeah, that's fun. He turned his chair around to face Captain Stupid and gave him a deadpan look.

"Yeah, the severely depressed kid is going to make a great addition to your team of one." Nim gave him a flat look but could feel his will weakening. This is what happens, every single time. If anyone wants or needs something from him, Nim is more than willing to supply to the best of his ability. He'll literally do anything to make someone else happy, even if he hates that person.

Cough cough JADYN cough cough.

"See you say that now, but you haven't even tried it." Sunshine looked at me with that stupid look on his face. "I got you there, admit it."

"Fucking fine, but you're paying me for this. A bitch needs to eat."

And that's how Nim became a paid intern superhero.

For a while, Nim was too exhausted from running around in spandex, it was black and grey, there's no way he's going to draw more attention to himself than he needs to, to actually do anything other than patrol and go to classes. Then one day he got so fed up that after patrol he sat down and did all his work for the next week, which was a brilliant idea because he had three assignments due that week that he hadn't started. Teehee.

Then he slept for sixteen hours straight. Good thing it was the weekend.

January 2020

"Man do we really have to do this? I'm tired, you're probably tired, I got shit to do and I'm really not feeling it tonight. Raincheck?" Nim tried, he really tried, but he knew it wasn't going to work. Captain Darkness's (Jesus these names are horrible, like seriously who came up with them) sidekick was never one to back down. They had gone toe to toe all of twice, and to be honest, Nim had barely made it out. He's a pretty shit sidekick.

"You know the answer to that," the kid snarled. Nim wondered briefly how old he is. He can't exactly beat up a tween now, can he? "Let's go."

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die."

The other guy blinked. "Are you seriously quoting The Princess Bride at me?"

Nim nodded. "Gotta show you how little I actually care right now. But let's do this, then I get to go home."

And so they fought. Very poorly. They have not been trained well. One thing Nim does know how to do, however, is take off a mask. Which is what he did to the kid. Who isn't really a kid, and is in fact, Felix. How did he not see this coming?

Fuck.

Nim noped outta there real quick.

He got home, ripped off his suit and shoved it deep into his closet, then sat on his bed, thinking. He knew something was off every time he had seen Captain Darkness and his minion. There was something about the way his body moved, the tone of his voice, the very presence he had. How did he not see this coming? He sat there for several hours, only noticing when the door opened and Felix of all people walked in. Nim didn't even lift his head.

"Doing a big ol' thinmk?"

Nim looked up, still shell shocked. "Uhh,"

"I'm going to take that as a yes. I need to talk to you," he looked at the floor. It was then that Nim realized that Felix was nervous. He was probably going to tell him that he's secretly an intern to the only villain in the city, which, like, why? Why tell Nim? Unless he knows that Nim is Sunshine's intern. Which would be so funny and not at the same time.

"Lay it on me brother," Nim spread his arms. Felix apparently took that as an invitation and clambered into Nim's embrace. Honestly, not what Nim was expecting. His heart got all fluttery and he hoped that Felix couldn't tell. Felix mumbled something into Nim's shoulder, too quiet for him to hear. "What was that?"

". . . I kinda like you."

What.

Felix leaned back and looked Nim dead in the eye. "I like you,"

The.

He kept staring at Nim, waiting for a reaction. Oh, fucking, boy.

Fuck?

"Ah," Nim let out.

"Ah?"

"Ah," Nim confirmed. "Not really sure what I'm thinking if I'm being honest. I mean, I like you too man, I have for a bit, but, but. . ."

"But Cara," Felix finished for him. He sat up fully, his leg pressing into Nim's. Jesus his heart is still fluttering.

"Even if we wanted to be together," Nim said slowly, not sure how it would be taken.

"We can't. Because of what Cara and I used to be."

"Exactly." Nim looked down at his lap, his heart filled with so much happiness and so much dread. Why. Why him? Why does this shit always happen to him?

Felix took Nim's hand. Lord take him now. He squeezed it gently.

"Yeah,"

Yeah.

Loving his best friend was like loving fire. You needed fire, you needed it to live, but at the same time, it consumes all your oxygen and eats you alive. Loving Nim's best friend was like loving the one thing you knew you couldn't have, no matter what you say or do or anything. No matter what, you can't have it. You can't touch fire, not without being burned, but Nim still wanted to grab the fire, pull it close, and never let go. He wanted to keep hold on Felix for the rest of his life, never let the other boy go, but that wasn't realistic. Nim wanted a life with Felix, wanted to marry him, buy a house with him, own pets with him, hell maybe even adopt with him. Nim was ready for that now, but not only was Felix most likely not wanting or ready for that, but things also change. Realistically, that would happen at least in ten years, but who knows how either of them will be feeling about the other in ten years?

If Nim's being honest, he wants it to be Felix for the rest of his life. He can't imagine meeting someone else that consumes his oxygen and eats him alive like Felix does. Nim is so ready for this, but knowing Nim's luck, Felix isn't. Sure Felix said that he likes Nim too, but what if he's just saying that because if he didn't he thinks he might lose Nim? Of course that's not going to happen, Nim has dug his claws in and he's never letting go, but Felix will always have his doubts. Actions speak louder than words. At the end of the day, Nim loves Felix, he really does. That's it. There's no but. Nim loves Felix. Nim wants to be with Felix. But does Felix want to be with Nim? That's what's holding Nim back. That's what's always holding Nim back.

One Week Later

Nim couldn't stand it anymore. He loves his friends, he loves how they are, but he truly likes Felix. He wants to be with Felix, but he can't. Because of Cara. No aggression towards her, it's totally fair. He just wishes it wasn't the way it is. He wishes they could be together. He wants to cry. Again.

What is he going to do?

Nothing.

He was going to do nothing, say nothing, feel nothing.

Winter break came and went. The three of them spent every day together, and it was killing Nim. He could feel his willpower crumbling, his morale breaking. It felt like shit, honestly. He felt like shit. Who wouldn't? What was he going to do? What? What could he do?

Apparently, he was going to throw himself into school and his newfound job. He spent the next few weeks ignoring his emotions, dividing all his time between school assignments and patrolling the city with Sunshine. If he noticed anything different about his intern, he kept it to himself. The weeks seemed to pass in a blur, but at the same time, Nim looked at the calendar on his desk and noticed that it wasn't even February. What the heck.

A knock came from his door. "Come in," he called, not wanting to get up. Nim is the epitome of laziness. He turned his head to see Sunshine walk in, his body language tense. Oh boy, this'll be fun.

"Captain Darkness was spotted with his intern over at the Fayron, it's time to head out." Nim nodded grimly, literally giving zero shits. He stood and pulled on his suit (gross) following Sunshine ou the door. The two of them took the transit, yes the transit, down to Fayron Bridge, getting strange looks from the other people on the transit with them. If this were a movie they'd be walking in slow motion, determined looks on their faces, wind messing up their hair. But this wasn't a movie. How did Nim know? He was extremely tired, and could not hide a yawn. Superheroes don't yawn.

Someone get Nim out of here.

One Week Later

Nim: Can I talk to you? I need to get something off my chest

Cara: :0 what's up?

Nim: Look, I really like Felix. I really truly do, but I'm scared. I don't want to like him. It feels like I'm being disrespectful to you, and you know that's the last thing I want to do. I couldn't keep lying to you about it, it's not fair to you, and I guess I just needed to tell someone. I hope you're not mad at me

Cara: . . .

Cara: Honestly, I don't really know what to say. If you really feel that way about him, then you need to tell him. Just don't involve me. Don't tell me how telling him goes, don't talk to me about this, I don't want to be involved.

Nim: But you are involved

Cara: No, Nim, I'm saying don't involve me any further. Don't ever mention this to me.

Nim: I'm sorry, you know I didn't mean to make you upset, or make you think about things you didn't want to think about. That's not my intention. I guess I just wanted my best friend. You need to be honest with yourself and with him

Cara: No offense, but don't tell me what to do. I am an open fucking book. I don't know if you're asking me for permission or for my blessing, but leave me out of it. I want no part in this. If you keep bringing this up, I believe it will affect our relationship.

Nim: That isn't what I was trying to get across at all. All I wanted to know if I would lose my best friend for something I can't help. I want to stay friends with you, I don't want to lose you too.

Cara: No guilt-tripping, let's just move past this, okay?

February 2020

Sunshine and Darkness had ended up on the far side of the building, leaving their little sidekicks to duke it out in a dimly lit room. Why were these kinds of fights always in dark creepy buildings. Whatever happened to actual proper rooms to fight in, like at a dojo or something?

Anywho.

"Man come on, do we really have to do this? This whole thing is bullshit, it's not even our fight, it's theirs. Let's just leave it at that," Nim tried pleading with Felix, who didn't know that Nim knew that it was, in fact, Felix under that hideous mask. Felix snarled. "Are you serious bro are you a fucking animal like what?" Nim could feel the exhaustion settling into his bones, into his very soul. It was dragging him down, tearing him apart, burying him alive. All these bottled up emotions, all this stress, it was finally getting to him. He just wanted to sleep forever. He didn't even care about getting what he really wants anymore, it doesn't matter, it won't last. He will never truly be happy.

Felix lunged at him, and Nim let him. Nim let himself be tackled to the ground, the wind getting knocked out of his lungs as he landed. Nim let Felix sit on his torso, landing punch after punch onto his face. Tears of pain and exhaustion dripping down his face. He felt his jaw groaning in protest, felt his nose break and his lip split, blood pouring out and mixing with the tears. He felt his temple bruising, cuts opening on his forehead, and he felt his life slowly leave his body. Felix stopped, breathing heavily, just sitting on Nim. Through puffy eyes, he watched as Felix's right hand, the same hand that belonged to the arm that bore his best friend bracelet with him and Cara, reach up and slowly pull the mask over Nim's broken face.

He didn't even flinch.

But Felix did.

He flinched so hard that he staggered backward off of Nim, hands coming up to cover his mouth in shock. Nim couldn't even find the energy to waggle his fingers at him, or smile. He had no energy anymore.

"Saint?" Felix whispered. "It can't be, no." He moved closer, wiping the blood and tears gently from Nim's face. As his face became clearer, horror dawned on Felix's face. "No," he gasped out, tears soaking the cheeks of his mask. He ripped it off, revealing his face for the second time to his supposed enemy. "Nim, what are you doing here?"

Nim let out a weak, shaky laugh. "I needed money and Sunshine was willing to pay."

"You knew, going into this fight you knew it was me and you didn't say anything. Why? Why would you let me hurt you like this, why didn't you tell me? I never wanted to hurt you!" Felix was sobbing at this point. Nim reached up and cupped his face, smiling gently despite the pain.

"Because I love you," he said.

#short story slam 2020

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