#Billy Russo Fanfics

[billyrussohaven]

Into My Web Masterlist

Into my Web

Dark!Vampire!Billy Russo x Female Reader

Cowritten with @the-cult-of-russo

Ratings: Explicit 18+ ONLY

Warnings: Although this chapter might not include it, this fic will include; Sexual situations, swearing, human slave, biting, blood, murder, obsessive thoughts, dub con, Stockholm syndrome, gaslighting.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2- Chapter 3 - Chapter 4- Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18 - Chapter 19 - Chapter 20 - Chapter 21 - Chapter 22 - Bonus Chapter

[imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend]

Penny For Your Thoughts

Pairing: Billy Russo x F!Reader

I saw this gif and got super horny for Billy again, so this is what happened. You can also blame @becauseicantthinkwritings, @frying-panties, @dreadfulxives18 for encouraging me 😜

Warnings: 18+, minors do NOT interact, smut, explicit sexual content, alcohol consumption, super dirty talk, use of pet names (darling, baby), Sugar Daddy!Billy vibes, oral (M receiving), PIV, reader has multiple orgasms, creampie

“Darling, my leg’s falling asleep.” 

You pouted, not that he could see, and snuggled your face further into Billy’s neck. You were sitting on his lap, with your butt mostly on one of his thighs, cuddling up to his chest. He was still dressed in a full suit and had merely sat down on the couch for a drink, but you’d crawled onto his lap. You needed to feel his warmth, smell his cologne, and just be close to him.  

You’d been lonely without him, spending the day feeling empty after waking up with his cock inside you. He’d left you blissed out, cum seeping between your legs. He wanted to clean you up, but he was late for work, and you assured him that you could clean yourself up. 

The sound of Billy setting his glass down shook you from your memory. “Darling,” he said again. He ran his hand through your hair and pulled on it slightly. 

You let him pull your head back so he could look at your face. 

“Hi, Billy.” You said. You hadn’t even spoken since he’d gotten back. You just needed to feel him.  

He smiled gently. “Hi, baby. I need you to get off my lap. I can’t feel my toes.” He let go of your hair and smoothed it back in place. 

“Kiss first?” You bargained. 

Billy grinned. “For you, of course.” He leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on your lips. 

You pouted as he pulled away.  

“What’s that face?” he asked. He knew what it was, though. 

“Nothin’,” you said, knowing better than to push him. 

You got off his lap and slid to the floor instead, resting your chin on the knee of his other leg as he stretched out the one you’d been sitting on. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” You asked, looking up at his pensive face. 

“Just thinking about my day.” He rubbed a hand over his beard. 

“How was work?” You asked. 

Billy shrugged. “It was hard to focus, with the image of my cum leaking out of your little cunt constantly flashing through my head.” 

You felt your cheeks flush, but more pertinently, you felt arousal pool between your legs. You bit your lip for a moment, before you released it. “Maybe that’s something you need to see again.” 

A beautiful, sexy smirk took over Billy’s lips. “Oh? You think that’ll help?” 

“Maybe. Or maybe you need your cock in my mouth?” You trailed a hand up his leg and over his groin, which was starting to grow hard. 

He grunted at your touch. “Maybe I need both.” 

“Maybe you’ll get both, if you ask nicely.” You batted your eyelashes.  

Billy’s tongue darted out to wet his lips. “I ain’t nice, though.” 

“Yes, you are.” You disagreed. You continued rubbing your hand along the outline of his cock over his trousers. “You bought me those shoes I really wanted last week, even though they were full price.” 

“They weren’t that expensive.” He grunted. 

“They were two grand.” You scoffed. 

“Pennies.” Billy quipped. 

“You wanted to take care of me this morning. Almost made you late for work.” You said, still trying to tell him that he was nice. 

“Well, had to do something for the excellent pussy I got.” He drawled. 

You rolled your eyes.  

“Well, you’re quite nice to me. You’ll never change my mind.” You said. Despite your many attempts to refuse him, Billy had been very generous to you. All the money he’d given so far had been used – in addition for pleasurable items like a new phone, or non-necessities like those designer shoes – for student loans, medical bills, and even your rent before you’d moved in with him. 

You unbuttoned his pants and did your best to free his cock, but he ended up lifting his hips so he could pull his trousers and underwear down his legs instead. You pumped him a few times in your hand as you gathered some saliva in your mouth, before you let it dribble out onto his cock. 

“Fuck,” Billy said.  

You then lowered your head and took him in your mouth, moving your head down until your nose touched his skin. You let his cock tickle the back of your throat for a few seconds before you pulled back and started sucking on the tip. You teased the slit with your tongue and stroked him with your hand before you started bobbing your head. 

Billy groaned. “Now I’m remembering why I’m so nice to you.”  

The corners of your lips turned up, but you couldn’t give him the smirk you wanted to with his cock in your mouth. Billy always seemed to enjoy getting head from you, and with the way he treated and pleased you after, you didn’t mind giving it. 

It was difficult to take all his length in your mouth though, so you stuck to using your hand near the base to stroke and squeeze what you couldn’t fit past your lips. Every now and then you would stop to suckle and lick at the swollen head, tasting the precum that was starting to spill.  

Billy’s fingers wove into your hair, and you started to take him back in your mouth. You knew that he liked it when you struggled to take him all. 

“Lemme feel that little throat choke on my dick.” He said, voice thick with arousal. 

You fought your eyes from rolling back in your head as you felt yourself soak through your panties. You focused on breathing steadily through your nose, as Billy slowly thrusted his hips to fuck your mouth. Your fingers dug into the cushions of the couch, your pussy ached, but you let Billy use you. You wanted him to use you. 

You were finding it harder to breathe and were getting a little overwhelmed trying to continually disengage your gag reflex, and tears had started spilling down your cheeks. When Billy noticed, he trapped his bottom lip between his teeth. 

“Fuck!” Despite his roar, his rhythm slowed until he eventually pulled your mouth off him.  

Your used jaw hung open for a little bit, and some drool slid off your tongue and onto your lap before you could close your mouth. 

Billy delicately cupped your face and wiped away your tears. “Are you okay?” His voice was dripping with fake sympathy, but you loved it. 

You tried to speak, but you could only nod. “Poor thing. Your brain’s probably leaking out of your little cunt, just like your mouth. Can’t even talk.” 

You whimpered. You were so wet. Your panties were absolutely drenched. 

“Fuck, baby. Get up here, lemme fuck that wet little cunt.” 

Your legs were stiff from kneeling, but you sat down on the couch and pulled your dress off. Billy kissed you immediately, hands expertly ridding you of your bra and tossing it behind him, so he could twist your nipples with his fingers. One hand went up to wrap gently around the front of your throat and he pushed you so that you would lay back. 

He moved his kisses down your throat to your tits, giving both of your nipples a wet suck, before he kissed down your stomach. 

He looked up at you, his eyes menacingly dark with arousal. “I can smell you, baby, and I haven’t even taken off your panties.” 

“So wet. Just for you, Billy.” You whined. 

“Let me see.” He said. “Take ‘em off.” 

You lifted your hips and pushed your panties down and pulled them off your feet. You dropped your panties to the floor, a little embarrassed at how you’d soaked through them when all you’d done was suck his cock. 

Billy took one look at your glistening center before he slammed his cock inside you. He didn’t even bother to get undressed, but you felt the heat of his skin through his clothes. 

You gasped hard at the intrusion. Usually, he warmed you up with his fingers, so now it felt like he was splitting you open. “Fuck, Billy... ‘s too big.” You practically sobbed. You realized you were still a little sore from this morning. 

He gave one thrust, but then settled deep inside you and remained still. “What’s that?” He kissed your lips once, then your cheek, then began sucking on your neck. 

“You’re too big!” You whimpered. Your hands clutched at his suit desperately in an attempt to ground yourself. 

He chuckled into your neck. “You’re a big girl, you can take it. Can’t you?” 

You whined as he pulled back and pressed in again. He was everywhere, it was too much, yet you wanted more. 

He looked up at you and saw the single tear slipping past the corner of your eye. “Oh, darling. If you’re gonna cry, I can just stop. Don’t want to hurt the little baby with my big cock.” He kissed the trail left by your tear. 

He started drawing back, but you cried out, “No!” 

He held still, looking down at you with a smug smirk he was trying poorly to hide. “No? But I don’t wanna hurt your little pussy.” 

“Please, don’t stop. I can take it. You made me so wet, Billy. I can take you, I promise.” 

“Are you sure?” He asked, cupping your cheek sweetly. 

You nodded vigorously. “Promise, I promise.” 

Billy tapped your lips with two fingers, and you opened your mouth immediately. You sucked on his fingers, lathering them with your tongue before Billy pulled them out. He used them to press against your clit, and your hips arched up into him and your cunt clenched around him. 

Billy grunted. “Such a tight little pussy. And it’s all mine.” 

You nodded in agreement. “All yours.” You sighed, enjoying the way he was stroking your clit.  

He started thrusted again slowly, but only for a few beats before he started fucking you earnestly. His hand abandoned your clit, so he could push one of your legs up against your chest and grip the arm of the couch in his other hand to allow him to rail you into oblivion.  

Little sighs and moans were leaving your mouth unconsciously. You wondered if they could be heard over the sound of Billy’s skin slapping against yours. You were certain that they could, when you gave a particularly high-pitched whine as the tip of his cock hit that precious spot inside you. 

Billy grunted. “Sing for me, baby. Let me take care of you. Like I always will.” 

His words were what drove you to your orgasm, even more than the feeling of his thick cock dragging against your walls. Your body did indeed sing for Billy as you came. 

Your vision kind of blacked out, and you could just barely hear Billy’s strained chuckle as he continued fucking you. “So gorgeous when you cum all over my cock like that. Your little cunt is fluttering all around me, baby. Feels so fucking good.” 

You whined, getting a little overstimulated by his continuous thrusts. “Billy.”  

“Yeah?” 

“Mm, Billy.” You couldn’t say anything else. 

Your vision came back into focus and there was a smirk on his lips. “I see your brain is still leaking out of your cunt.” 

You opened your mouth to try to speak, but his hand when back to your clit and you gasped at the contact. 

“Cum for me again, baby, then I’ll fill up your little cunt.” 

Your back was arching from the attention to your clit and the building of your second orgasm. Your bare nipples brushed against the smooth fabric of his suit jacket and the peaks tightened even more at the friction. Everything was too much. 

“Oh, don’t know if I can.” You mumbled. 

Billy kissed your lips and slid his tongue into your mouth to tease yours for a moment. When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours. “You can, baby, I know you can. You’re so good for me, aren’t you?” 

You nodded, almost reluctantly. You didn’t want to do anything but please him. 

“Yes, you are.” He said proudly. With that, he started rubbing your clit rapidly and he didn’t stop until your walls were convulsing once again. 

“Oh, Billy, ‘m cumming.” You cried, fingers digging into his back. 

“Fuck, yeah, baby.” His rhythm stuttered a little bit before he gave some hard thrusts and came inside you. His hair was out of place and fell in front of his eyes, which were squeezed shut in his bliss. He’d never been more beautiful. 

You wrapped your arms tighter around him, so that he would settle against you. You needed his weight to ground you because you felt like you were going to float into space. Billy planted a few soft kisses on your cheek, jaw and behind your ear. 

He pulled away then, and you groaned when his cock slipped out of you. You watched him watch his cum drip out of you. His dark eyes sparkled. 

“Goddamn.” He said, his voice deeper than ever. 

You bent both your knees and brought them close to your chest, opening yourself up for him. You ran your fingers gently through your folds and swiped at your entrance. You brought your fingers to your mouth, glistening with the combination of your cum and his, and sucked them between your lips. You moaned, mostly for show. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” You teased. 

Billy smirked. “You’re something else.” 

You released your fingers, smiling up at him sweetly. “Think that will help you be less distracted tomorrow?” 

He chuckled. “Definitely not.” He tucked himself back in his trousers. 

You grinned. 

“Come on, darling. Let’s take a bath.” 

“Can’t walk.” You said simply, not even trying to move. 

He shook his head, still grinning, but took you up his arms anyway. 

You smacked a kiss on his cheek. “Love you, Billy.” 

“Love you, too, baby.” 

~

Author's note: I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it 😌

Taglist: @kayhi808 @idaoftheburningmind @quellmythirst  @kahlanmars @catherinnn  @crowssixof  @musicalggirl  @insssanemind  @loubombshell @misscaitygrace @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations

(please tell me if you want to be removed from my everything Billy Russo taglist, I just kinda look through everyone I have tagged on other stuff consistently)

[hungermakesmonsters]

(Once Bitten) Twice Shy

Chapter Nineteen

Plot summary : Desperate to get away from your controlling family, you take a job in New York as a wealthy vampire's blood source. A million dollars awaits if you can make it through a year, but life with Billy Russo is not going to be as simple as you think.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R  Chapter Rating : R

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Violence. A lot more violence than usual. All chapters will contain mentions of blood. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story. 

Word Count : 5.6k

A/N : I'm not crying, you're crying 😭

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO | CHAPTER THREE | CHAPTER FOUR | CHAPTER FIVE | CHAPTER SIX | CHAPTER SEVEN | CHAPTER EIGHT | CHAPTER NINE | CHAPTER TEN | CHAPTER ELEVEN | CHAPTER TWELVE | CHAPTER THIRTEEN | CHAPTER FOURTEEN | CHAPTER FIFTEEN | CHAPTER SIXTEEN | CHAPTER SEVENTEEN | CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

MASTER LIST

Chapter Nineteen

There was a light at the end of the nothingness that you were fighting so desperately to get to. It got brighter and brighter the closer you got, causing your head to hurt and your eyes to strain. Turning away from the light, you felt something soft against your face, something that smelled like... laundry detergent?

The realisation that you were still alive came slowly, scratching away in the back of your mind as you struggled to open your eyes and force yourself awake. The dream wanted to hold you a little longer and almost managed to pull you back under, but the light was so bright.

A pained murmur escaped you as your eyes finally opened, straining against the midday sun pouring through the windows. You squinted, struggling to focus tired eyes on anything. Your head was pounding but, soon enough, familiarity started to stir inside you.

You knew where you were. 

You were in your room. In your bed.

In Billy’s penthouse.

(You were home.)

You tried to sit up, but you were too tired, too weak to do anything more than lift your head. That’s when you realised he was right there at your side, his head buried in his folded arms at the edge of your bed, Bill the Beagle beside him. You tried to think back, tried to remember what had happened, but everything felt like a blur, like it had all just been some horrible nightmare.

All you could really remember was wanting to be with Billy.

“Billy?” Your voice was a hoarse whisper, your throat aching and straining.

Your neck - you’d been hurt, hadn’t you? You reached for your throat and felt the edge of your bandages, but you didn’t have time to think more about it, not when Billy finally lifted his head and looked at you.

For a few seconds, he just stared, the dark circles under his eyes betraying the fact that he’d been at your side for a long time.

How long had he been there?

How long had you been there?

“You’re awake,” he muttered in disbelief as he took your hand in his, gripping tight. “I thought - I thought I’d lost you...”

All you could think to do was squeeze his hand, not sure what you could say to make him feel better because you couldn’t remember. You had no idea what he’d been through.

“Wh-what happened?” You managed to ask, and watched, again, as he fell silent and stared at you uncomfortably.

“Drake, he -” he started and stopped, his gaze dropping, “- we came to save you.”

He’d rescued you.

Despite everything you’d done and the pain you must have caused him, Billy had risked his life to come save you. He hadn’t given up on you.

“How long have I been back?” You asked. “How long was I sleeping?”

“Three days.”

There was something else, something he wasn’t telling you, something that had shame etched across his features, but it was hard to focus, hard to think about anything beyond the fact that you were safe and you were with him again.

“I don’t feel right...” you muttered, closing your eyes again for a few long seconds.

“I know, hummingbird,” he said tenderly, brushing his thumb across the back of your hand. “I know, but it’ll get better, I promise. You just need to rest.”

You didn’t know what any of that meant. You didn’t know what it was but, again, you were too exhausted to think straight, too out of it to fully grasp the situation. Billy reached for you with his free hand, softly stroking your hair, trying to lull you back to sleep before you could even think to ask any questions.

But you felt cold and uncomfortable despite the thick blanket on top of you. More than that, you felt starved for comfort.

You felt awful and all you wanted was a hug.

“Billy?” You asked, fighting against sleep.

“Yes?” He answered, his hand slipping from your hair to your cheek.

“Can you hold me? Just for a little while?”

“Of course,” he said, his voice breaking just a little, “I’ll hold you as long as you want me to.”

You managed a weak smile as Billy pulled back the covers and climbed into bed. He laid beside you and let you snuggle closer, getting yourself comfortable before wrapping his arms around you. Resting your head on his chest, you let out a contented sigh as he started to stroke your hair again.

For a few moments you were silent, thinking back to the last time he’d held you; how you’d both been so happy, so content. And you’d ruined it.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, burying your face against his sweater.

“Oh, hummingbird, whatever for?” He asked, sounding like his heart was breaking.

“For always causing you so many problems,” you answered with a sniffle, pressing closer to him, suddenly worried he might pull away.

His arms tightened around you and you felt his lips press against the top of your head.

“You never cause me problems, hummingbird,” he told you firmly, though his voice still sounded broken and strained. “I’d go to hell and back for you, to keep you safe, and it’d never be a problem for me because I - I love you. I love you so much.”

A tear rolled down your cheek and you felt so overwhelmed that you didn’t know what to do with yourself. You felt safe, loved, but more exhausted than you’d ever been. It felt like all of this was just some wonderful dream that would be snatched away from you the moment you dared to look away, and you just couldn’t stop crying.

“I’m so tired, Billy,” you told him, tears falling more freely, soaking into the fabric of his red sweater.

“I know. I’m so sorry about that but I promise you’ll feel better soon. You just need to rest, okay?” He told you gently, pressing another kiss to the top of your head.

“Will you stay with me?”

“Always,” he answered and you had no idea just how much he meant it.

Despite your tears, it wasn’t long before your exhaustion won out and you drifted off but, true to his word, Billy stayed with you, holding you tight as you slept.

------------

As he laid with you, Billy couldn’t help but think back to that night, to the hotel, to the moment leading up to finding you on the floor with your throat torn.

The elevator ride felt like it took a lifetime, like every second was time you didn’t have, and the longer it took, the more afraid he felt. He couldn’t stay still, he was practically vibrating with rage, eager to get to the prick that had tried to take you from him, eager to snuff out his miserable existence. He could see Madani out of the corner of his eye, watching him as he tried not to crawl out of his own skin. 

Frank stood on his other side, completely stoic and prepared for what was to come, but Billy knew better than to think his friend was unaware what was going on. He’d seen Billy like this before, he knew just how tenuous his self-control really was.

Madani checked her gun and Frank did likewise. Billy left his holstered, instead gripping a knife. That was all he needed; this was personal and he wanted it to hurt.

The elevator let out a ding before the doors slid open.

The first goon didn’t even have a chance to unholster his sidearm before Frank dropped him.

Billy looked at Madani; “go find her, we’ll deal with Drake.”

She paused but only for a split-second before nodding and starting to move into the penthouse suite, disappearing into one of the bedrooms, while Frank and Billy pressed on to the living area.

Another goon popped out and met a quick end with Billy’s knife in his throat. There was no telling how many of them were squirrelled away in the suite, but Billy was going to relish finding out.

Everything became a blur the moment he first set eyes on Justin Drake. He looked at Billy with a hint of familiarity, like he’d done his research, and grinned. His face was painted dark red with blood, and Billy knew immediately that he’d hurt you, though he wouldn’t allow himself to even contemplate that you might be dead.

“What a pleasant surprise,” Drake remarked. “But I’m afraid you’re late to the party.”

At Billy’s side, Frank had another goon by the neck, pummelling him with the butt of his gun. Billy’s fingers tightened their grip on the knife and things started to get hazy.

He cleared the distance, trading blows with Drake. At some point they’d ended up on the floor, ripping and tearing at each other, both trying to gain the upper hand. His knife ended up in Drake’s thigh, while Drake’s fangs tore into Billy’s shoulder. 

Billy felt himself slipping, giving in to the rage that was so desperate to escape, the anger inside of him that wanted nothing more than to punish the piece of shit that had hurt you.

As they rolled and tussled, Drake pressed a thumb against Billy’s eye, his other hand at Billy’s throat.Billy lashed out, swinging punches and tearing his fangs through Drake’s arm until he managed to retrieve the knife from Drake’s thigh.

Before he had time to register what had happened and what he’d done, Billy was on top of Drake’s lifeless body, his throat cut in a way that even a vampire couldn’t recover from. His hands and clothes were slick with blood and viscera. But there was no time to think about what he’d done, not once he heard Madani’s shouts and felt Frank’s hand on his shoulder, pulling him back to the moment.

He needed to get to you.

Scrambling to his feet, he almost fell as he made his way to the source of the shouting; to you and Madani on the floor in a puddle of your blood.

Despite Madani’s reassurances that help was on the way, he knew it was already too late.

His breath caught as you looked up at him, his hand quickly grasping yours.

“B-Billy,” you choked out, “you’re h-here...”

He squeezed your hand, already knowing that he couldn’t let go, that he’d never let go. He didn’t even try to hold back the tears that were starting to well in the corners of his eyes.

“I told you,” he muttered, feeling like his heart was breaking in two, “I’ll never let you go.”

And he wouldn’t. Not now, not ever.

You tried to mutter an apology, but your voice came out so weak and small, your life slowly slipping away from you. 

Panic and dread started to fill his chest, knowing that the end was getting closer.

“Dont. Don’t try to talk. Just - just stay still, stay with me, it’s going to be alright.” His eyes never left yours as he spoke, wanting so desperately for you to know that he was there and that nothing bad was going to happen to you. He wasn’t going to lose you.

“I l-love -”

“Hey - hey, hummingbird, keep your eyes on me. It’s going to be okay,” but he could see you slipping, he could see that last spark of life in your eyes dimming.

He knew he needed to do something, that he couldn’t just let you die, but there was only one option and Billy knew it was the one thing you didn’t want. Billy only had a second to think about it, he couldn’t waste any more time than that - he’d rather you hate him forever than lose you completely.

“I’m sorry,” he told you, voice fraught and broken. “I love you and - and I’m sorry. I know you’re going to hate me but...” he fell silent for a moment but there was no response. You were still breathing but only just. There wasn’t much time left.

He shouted for Frank.

“You gotta turn her,” he begged, pleading with his friend.

“Bill she don’t want -”

“You think she wants to die?” He snapped. There was another beat of silence and it looked like Frank wasn’t going to back down. His stomach threatened to turn itself inside out. He couldn’t take no for an answer. “If you don’t do it, I will.”

“You’d infect her?” Frank asked angrily. “Make her like you?”

“If it means keeping her alive,” Billy answered back.

“She wouldn’t be alive, not like she knows it. I -”

“What would you do if it was Karen?” He asked, watching as anger flashed across Frank’s face just at the mere thought of anyone hurting Karen this way.

“You love her that much?”

“I can’t live without her,” he answered, tears still rolling down his cheeks. “I won’t live without her.”

You were barely even there anymore when Frank moved to your side and looked down at you, a silent apology in his eyes as he leaned down and sunk his teeth into you.

Then, they’d brought you home and tended to your wounds, hoping that the bite would take and that you’d turn.

Billy had sat by yours side the whole time, barely moving, only daring to close his eyes for an hour or so at a time. And, since that moment, he’d felt like there was an invisible countdown, a clock slowly ticking down to the moment when you realised what had been done to you. 

The moment you would start to hate him.

------------

It was dark when your eyes opened again. A whole day and a half had slipped by unnoticed but to you it felt like only a few hours had passed. You felt sharper - still tired and cold, but you finally felt like you could think straight. You finally felt like you could fill in some of the blanks and figure out what was going on.

Billy was still with you, still holding you. When you slowly lifted your head from his chest, you realised he was asleep and, while you had so many questions, the last thing you wanted to do was wake him. He’d been so tired earlier, he’d looked as bad as you’d felt and just as overwhelmed. He needed rest.

Lifting a hand to your neck, you realised that not only were the bandages gone, but so was the cast from your arm. Your throat felt normal, not even tender where you’d been bitten. It was almost like it had never even happened.

But how could that be?

How long had you been recovering?

More to the point, was it even possible to recover from a wound like the one Drake had inflicted?

You tried to remember that night, tried to think back, but all that remained were a collection of fuzzy memories; Drake trying to get you to leave, Madani appearing at your side, Billy holding your hand, and Frank -

Moving suddenly, you pulled away from Billy’s arms and scrambled out of bed. Your legs felt weak and unstable, like you hadn’t used them in days (because you hadn’t).

The more questions you had, the more the pieces started to fall into place. You’d been hurt, badly, so badly that there shouldn’t have been any coming back from it. And, now, Billy was in your room - how was he in your room?

You wanted so desperately to find another conclusion, something better than the one you were stuck with, but the more you thought about it, the more you came to realise that there was only one thing that made a damned bit of sense.

He’d turned you.

You were a vampire.

“Hummingbird?” Your eyes snapped to him as he spoke, seeing the worry etched on his face despite the darkness. “Are you -”

“Tell me you didn’t...” you pleaded in a low but desperate whisper, torn between anger and sorrow.

His expression became one of shame as he slowly got out of bed and took a step towards you.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice breaking, “I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” You demanded. “Why would you -”

“Because I couldn’t lose you,” he answered, daring to take another step towards you. “Because I love you and I could bear to lose you like that.”

As he reached for you, you took a step back, his fingers ghosting your hand as you pulled out of reach, and you could see the hurt in his eyes as you did. But, regardless of whatever was going on in his head, Billy gave you the space you so obviously needed and fell silent, letting you process what was going on.

“Tell me what happened,” you finally asked, trying so hard to hold back tears.

Billy let out a slow exhale and let his gaze drift towards the window. It took him a moment to start but, once he did, he didn’t stop until he’d told the whole story, leaving out no detail. It didn’t help. Not one bit. In fact, knowing what he’d been through to rescue you only seemed to make it worse.

“Please say something,” he gently prompted after a minute passed in silence. “Even if it’s just to tell me that you hate me...”

The problem was that you didn’t know what you wanted to say because you didn’t understand how you really felt. You were angry - so fucking angry - that he’d turned you, despite know it was something you never wanted, but you could also remember how scared you’d been, how you’d wanted nothing more than to just be able to be with him again. 

Now Drake was gone and you didn’t have to worry about Billy losing you to age or illness; every obstacle that had been in your way was gone now and, if you wanted to, you could be with Billy.

But there was something else, a thought you couldn’t escape.

“You turned me into something you hate,” you finally said.

He’d been clear from the start, hadn’t he? Billy didn’t like vampires.

“No, that’s not -” he shook his head as he struggled to find the right words, “- could never hate you.”

“You hate vampires, you hate being a vampire.”

“No, I - maybe I did, but I don’t anymore. What was it you said to me?” You trailed off, trying to remember the exact words. “You were glad that Frank turned me, you were happy that I’m a vampire because, if I wasn’t, we never would have met And that - that made me glad to be a vampire.”

You stayed silent, only shaking your head in response.

“My sickness, the way I was infected, and the way it’s led to me hurting so many people - that’s what I hate,” he tried again, “but you don’t have to deal with that.”

“I can’t give you blood. You don’t need me anymore.”

“Hummingbird -”

You reached for him suddenly, taking his hand and pressing it to your chest, above your heart; a heart that no longer raced for him.

“I can’t even be that anymore,” you told him, unable to stop a tear from rolling down your cheek. “I’m nothing... I’m worthless to you.”

“No, you’re wrong. You could never be nothing to me. You are my little hummingbird. And I love you; I loved you as a human and I’ll love you as a vampire,” Billy told you, his voice turning firmer, more certain, almost like he was angry that you didn’t believe him. “I know you didn’t want this, but I couldn’t live in a world that doesn’t have you in it.”

He kept his hand on your chest until you turned away from him.

“Can you leave me alone?” You asked softly, needing some time to unpack everything that had happened. 

“Please, don’t shut me out, humming -”

“Please, Billy?” You begged, still trying to hold back your tears until he was gone. “I just need to be on my own for a little while.”

There was silence, for a few seconds before he finally relented. “Okay, but I’ll be out in the penthouse, in our spot, waiting until you’re ready to talk. However long it takes...”

And, then, he was gone.

Hours passed as you tried to wrap your head around it and tried to understand how you really felt and, eventually, you realised what it was; you’d never wanted to be a vampire because the prospect of living forever terrified you, the idea of spending an eternity feeling like you didn’t belong, feeling unloved...

But that wasn’t how things were now. That wasn’t your life anymore. You weren’t just living how your parents wanted you to live, you weren’t just following rules and only ever doing what you were told. You did belong here and if you were certain of anything it was that Billy did love you.

(Still, what was to say he’d still feel the same about you in fifty years time?) 

Eventually there was a light knock on the door and, before you could think to say anything, it opened. 

Karen looked at you with what could only be described as absolute relief on her face and you quickly moved across the room to greet her, throwing your arms around her. She held you tight, muttering about how glad she was that you were alright, that you were safe. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” she said, “we’ve all been so worried.”

“I’m sorry, I never meant to -”

“You don’t have anything to apologise for. We’re all just glad you’re safe,” Karen told you firmly. “After the first couple of days we started to worry you might never wake up, but Billy stayed by your side the whole time.”

“The whole time?”

“For days - we couldn’t even get him to leave to sleep,” she explained and the thought alone caused your chest to ache.

He’d been with you the whole time, watching over you for days, not sure if you’d ever wake up. And the moment you had woken up, you’d sent him away. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how it must have felt to him, how much it must have hurt him.

You held her for a few moments more until you realised that, under the sound of her voice, you could hear the steady thrum of her heart. Pulling away, you took a step back, making some space between you as a pang of hunger caused your stomach to cramp.

“I brought you somethin’ for that,” Frank said, as if he’d read your mind.

You hadn’t even realised he was there, you’d been so focused on Karen.

He held out a glass to you and you immediately felt sick. Blood. He’d brought you blood. You didn’t dare ask where from, though you quickly found yourself wondering if it was Karen’s. When you didn’t take it, Frank turned his attention to Karen, asking for a moment alone with you. And, when she left, the sound of her heartbeat went with her, allowing you to focus on Frank.

“Look, I -” he sighed, “- I know you didn’t want this life an’ I’m sorry that this is what it took to save you.”

“Why did you do it?”

“‘cause I’ve never seen Bill care about somethin’ the way he cares about you,” Frank answered. “losin’ you would’ve destroyed him. He told me that he wouldn’t live without you.”

Wouldn’t. Not couldn’t.

“He said that?”

The thought alone was enough to turn your stomach, that he’d do something so extreme, that he thought his life wouldn’t be worth living without you. And,deep down, you started to realise that you felt the same, that a life without Billy wouldn’t be worth living.

Frank nodded. “I know it ain’t my business, but he did what he thought was right. He didn’t think you deserved to die on some hotel room floor, bleedin’ out and terrified. An’ I know all this is gonna be a big adjustment for you, but we’re all here for you an’ we’re gonna help you through it.”

You offered up a slight nod of your own before reaching out to finally take the glass from him. Lifting it to your nose, you took a sniff, shocked to find that beneath the expected coppery tang, there was a hint of sweetness.

Turning away from Frank, you dared to take your first sip, your body instinctively reacting and gagging.

“‘s okay, that happens the first time,” he offered more gently than you’d ever heard him speak.

You took a breath before trying again, taking another slow sip. It went down easier and, almost instantly, you started to feel a little bit better. The hunger pains started to lessen and subside the more you drank and the ache in the back of your head seemed less intense.

When you’d drained the glass, you wiped your lips on the back of your hand before turning to face Frank again.

“Where is he?” You asked, even though you were certain you knew the answer already. He’d be exactly where he said he would be.

“He’s out there, talkin’ to Madani,” he answered but didn’t offer any more than that before reaching into his pocket and pulling out your phone. You watched as he placed it down on your desk. “You’ve got friends here, whenever you need us.”

Frank left it at that, leaving the room. Karen poked her head around the door and said her goodbyes, telling you that she’d take you out to Josie’s with Matt and Foggy as soon as you were feeling up to it. Then you were left alone again.

You let a few minutes pass before deciding to go find Billy, but the moment you reached the adjoining door between your rooms and the penthouse, you froze. 

Billy and Madani’s voices were easy to make out and you couldn’t help but listen in.

“Given the amount of evidence that was found in the hotel room and on Drake’s phone, connecting him and his associates to several high-ranking members of congress and the State Department, Homeland are less concerned about how he died and more bothered about cleaning up the massive mess that’s just landed on their laps,” Madani was explaining.

“So, they don’t care that me and Frank were there?” Billy asked.

“They’re not happy about it and, from now on, I think they’ll be paying close attention to you and Castle but, for now, they’re not interested in pursuing charges,” she explained, and you let out a soft sigh of relief.

There was a moment of silence before Madani spoke again.

“I should also tell you that we recovered the body of Mary Poots. Krista Dumont offered up a full confession after speaking to Layla El-Faouly -”

“You found Layla?” Billy asked.

“She found us when she heard we’d taken Dumont into custody,” Krista explained, “she wanted to make sure we understood that neither you nor she had anything to do with Dumont’s crimes. She also made it very clear that she had asked you to turn her.”

“So...” he started, letting that one little word hang in the air for a few seconds, “that answers all of your questions, doesn’t it? All the women you think I murdered have been accounted for.”

“That’s right,” Madani answered, “but I’m going to have to ask that you don’t leave town, we might have more questions as the case progresses.”

At that moment, you decided that you’d eavesdropped enough and quietly slipped through the door. Billy noticed you as Madani got to her feet, and her gaze soon followed his. Before Billy could say or do anything to stop her, Madani was making her way towards you, eyeing you in a way that made you feel like a monster. Like a vampire.

“I know you didn’t want this,” she said, not bothering to lower her voice so Billy couldn’t hear. “I can keep you safe if you want to press charges, if you want to go on record about everything that’s happened here. You don’t have to -”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you told her, earning a look of annoyance from Madani.

“I was there, I saw -” 

“You saw Billy and Frank saving my life.”

“If that’s the story you want to stick with, fine, but I can’t protect you anymore after I leave here.”

“I don’t need protection,” you said, your eyes flashing to Billy for a moment, “I’m perfectly safe here, but there is someone who does need your protection.”

“Who?”

“My sister, Irene. Drake found her, he had pictures of her and her kids, he threatened them and I don’t know if anyone else in the Maggia knows about them,” you explained. “I don’t know if they’re going to go after her as revenge for Drake.”

“Okay, I can look into that for you,” Madani told you. “Now, are you sure that this is where you want to stay.”

“Yes.”

All Madani gave in response was a shake of her head and the slightest of shrugs before heading to the elevator. You watched as she left, keeping your eyes on her, even though you could almost feel Billy’s gaze burning into the back of your head. Even when she was gone and the elevator doors were shut behind her, you kept your back to him, still feeling a mess of emotions that you didn’t know how to untangle.

“Hummingbird?” He said softly.

Finally, you took a breath and turned to face him.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he said, “you didn’t have to protect us...”

“Yes I did.”

He didn’t move, though you could tell that the distance was killing him. He was giving you space, he was respecting your wishes. He was reminding you that you always had a choice when you were with him.

Slowly you made your way towards him, watching as he stayed perfectly still, letting you decide how close you wanted to be. You stopped in front of your usual spot on the sofa, letting your gaze shift towards the window, noticing the colour of the sky; sunrise.

“Will you sit and watch the sunrise with me?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the window as you sat.

“Of course,” Billy uttered softly, taking a seat beside you, but still giving you some space.

The view wasn’t as spectacular as sunset, the window was facing the wrong direction to really appreciate it, but it was still something new, something you hadn’t shared with him before. The sky seemed to glow with pinks and oranges that slowly gave way to blues over the New York skyline. It was beautiful.

You reached for his hand, lacing your fingers with his, but you didn’t dare look away from the window.

“I’m sorry I stole this from you,” he whispered after minutes had passed in silence. “I’m sorry that you’ll never get to experience this for real again.”

It took a few seconds for you to find your voice, for you to decide how you wanted to respond.

“I wouldn’t be experiencing this at all if it wasn’t for you,” you answered, squeezing his hand. “Missing out on sunrises and sunsets isn’t why I didn’t want to be a vampire.” You paused, letting out a sigh, still watching the sky. “My whole life, I just felt like I was existing, that everything I did was to make other people happy. I didn’t want to live forever because I didn’t want to do that forever...”

“And now?” He dared to ask.

“I want to be happy, here with you. I want to stay with you.”

“Why does it sound like there’s a but coming?”

“But I need more than this,” you explained. “I need a life of my own. I need to be able to make my own choices; go out when I want, find a job, do something that’s just for me. I think after everything, I deserve to be able to live on my own terms.”  

His hand found your cheek, urging you to look at him, to see the conflicting emotions on his face.

“I want that for you too, hummingbird,” he told you. “I want you to have the life that you want, a life that makes you happy, even if... even if you don’t want me in it.”

His gaze dropped and your heart ached, untangling your hand from his, you reached for him, taking his face in your hands and forcing him to look at you, just as he’d done to you a moment earlier.

“Of course I want you in my life, Billy,” you told him. “It just can’t be like it has been. If I’m staying here, it needs to be as your equal; no more games, no more arguments, no more pushing me away to protect me. I love you Billy, but I can’t go back to that.”

“I promise,” he told you. “Whatever you need. I’ll do anything just - please give me one more chance. It’ll be different now. I’ll be different.”

You blinked back tears as you closed the distance and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

“I love you,” he whispered as his arms wrapped around you. “Always.” 

“Promise?”

“I promise,” he muttered against your lips, his thumbs tenderly wiping away the tears that had managed to escape you. “For as long as you want me, I’ll love you.”

“I’ll always want you, Billy,” you told him, smiling softly before kissing him again. “I’ll always love you.”

End Note : 😭😭😭 I am going to do an epilogue because this chapter felt a little bittersweet, but at the same time I wanted to end it that way because if felt like an appropriately gothic inspired romance ending. But, I've left a few loose ends so that I can always return to do a second series with Billy and this reader character. Whether you've followed this from the start or only just found it, thank you so much for taking the time to read it, I really enjoyed writing this fic and I hope you enjoyed reading it.

As ever, thank you so much for your support/reading/liking/reblogging/screaming at me in the comments, it's always appreciated! Have a great weekend!!

ALSO as I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I have an omegaverse Bucky Barnes fic in the works, the first chapter will be posted on Sunday. Otherwise, I'm going to post the epilogue to this next Friday then take a week or two off before I start posting my new Stalker!Billy fic.

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future chapters! If tagging doesn't work for some reason (aka Tumblr being dumb) I post most Fridays around 7:30 gmt.

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[spaghettificationandpretzels]

Hello my dear! So excited for Kinkfest! Could I please request praise kink & size kink with Mr. Sex-On-Legs himself, Billy Russo? 😍

Thank you so much for requesting, everyone seems to like size kink with this man!

Masterlist

A soft touch

Contains: Protective Billy, violence, oral sex (f receiving) fingering, P in V, fluff.

1.3K words

Billy is very gentle and sweet, at least with you he is.

Billy was so proud, the charity auction you had put on for Curt's group had raked in more than enough to keep the doors open and butts in seats for months to come. To make matters even better, he got to stick to the rich assholes who acted like donating a few bucks on their out of the Anvil office was saving humanity.

He walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulders as he whispered into your ear. "You did good tonight gorgeous."

You craned your head and kissed him, and his fingertips grazed your cheek as he spun around to pull you close. "You wanna get out of here?"

Billy grinned. "Fuck yeah."

He took her hand and led you outside, but before he could open the car a shout stopped you both in your tracks. "Hey, baby why don't you leave the pretty boy and have some fun with me?"

Billy went stiff as a board, placing you behind him so he could stand between you and the yelling man. "Billy, let's just go."

You didn't have time, the man was already swagging over, his drunk gate wobbling as he walked. You wrapped your hand around his upper arm and tried to pull him, but it made no difference. "You should listen to your girl buddy, you wouldn't want to embarrass yourself getting into a fight you can't win."

You tended to forget how tall Billy really was, how imposing his height could be with just a change in his mood because he never gave you a reason to notice it. "Go the fuck home, I won't ask again."

Damn alcohol and its effects because all the man did was laugh and rear his fist back. Billy didn't even need to think to stop it, he just dropped the man with one punch. He watched the man get up and hobble away, ignoring the string of obscenities that came from his mouth. He placed his hand on your lower back as he opened the car door and helped you inside. "Sorry about that gorgeous."

You reached out and grabbed his hand, looking over his bruised knuckles as he smiled down at you. "Are you alright?"

He nodded. "Yep, that guy was nothing."

He pushed your door closed and climbed into the driver's seat, kicking the car over as his hand found your tight. "Let's go home."

****

Billy placed his folded suit jacket over the chair back and cleaned his bruised hand in the sink before walking behind you and unzipping your dress. "Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?"

You nodded. "Twice."

He kissed a path from shoulder to shoulder across your upper back, ending up kissing a line from shoulder dome to neck until his lips were at your ear. "Then let me tell you again, you look beautiful."

Your dress fell to the floor, and he walked in front of you, stretching his hand out for you to take so you could step out of the pile. He walked you to the edge of the bed and paused, his eyes moving up and down your body to take in the lacy set of lingerie. "I'm am the luckiest man on the planet."

You unbuttoned his dress shirt as he slid the straps of your bra off your shoulders, licking his lips at the newly revealed skin when it hit the floor. He stilled for a moment, his fingers drifting down your chest until his thumb was circling a nipple with the softness of freshly fallen snow, and then the air caught, and his lips slammed into yours. There was a rush to shed the rest of your clothes, and then you were scurrying up the bed with Billy hovering over you.

He was rock hard, his long, thick cock standing attention as the tip leaked with his arousal. His lips were on yours again, all lust and heat and his massive hands grabbed at whatever flesh he could reach. It was hard to know where to touch, there was just so much of him that it left you spoiled for choice. His back rippled under your hands as you dug your nails into his skin when his lips sealed around a nipple, your head falling back into the pillows as heat filled you.

The other one got the same treatment and soon enough, he was pressing kissing all over your abdomen on his way further down. He lifted your legs over his shoulder and kissed every inch of your thighs that he could reach before looking up at you through his long eyelashes. "Can I?"

"Yes please."

You loved the way he held you when he did this, his forearm thrown over your hips, keeping you still while he licked at you like he wanted to win some prize and the other holding your thigh, his fingers pressing into the skin in indistinct patterns like he was typing out a code. A gasp caught in your throat as the hand on your thigh moved towards your centre, his fingers slipping under his lips as he slid them inside you.

His thumb replaced his mouth, and he looked up at you with a soft smile. "Does that feel good, Sweetheart?"

"Yes." His lips were back on you as he stroked your G-spot with his calloused fingertips as you wove your hands into his hair. Pleasure zipped up your spine with each pass of his tongue and curl of his fingers and you yanked his hair as he moaned against you. "Billy.." He groaned an affirmative, and you held him to you as you came, him riding the wave with you until your hips stilled against the bed.

He pulled away, wiping his face with the back of his hand before kissing a line up your body to your lips. He took your face in his face, resting his forehead against yours and smiled. "You're so good for me." You spread your legs and he settled between them, gripping his cock and rubbing it up and down your slit. "Can I?"

"Yes please." He didn't leave you waiting, sliding home with a grunt as he hiked your legs over his waist with one hand.

He buried his face in your neck as he started to rock his hips, his voice tight with pleasure as he spoke. "My good girl, I love you so much."

He shifted angles to hit your G-spot as he picked up sped, and you tilted your head to the side to give him more room to suck at your neck as he ran one hand downwards, between your bodies to rub your clit. His lips broke away from your flesh so he could gaze into your eyes, his face filled with affection as he watched your expression fill with pleasure. "Can you give me another one?"

You gasped and nodded with each hitch of his lips, and he smiled. "I know you can." Your nails dug into his back as the edge approached and he kissed you again, nibbling your lower lip as he pushed you into a spine snapping orgasm. "Good girl."

He shifted again, putting his weight onto his hands as he chased his high. With one last thrust, he collapsed on top of you, his chest heaving as he kissed you softly. He rolled off you, moving onto his back to take you with him so your head rested on his chest. "Thank you gorgeous girl."

You sighed. "I should be thanking you."

He smirked and pressed his lips to your temple. "No, you have no idea how much I love you."

You turned your head and pressed a kiss to his firm chest. "I do, and I love you too."

He wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in your hair. "I'll run you a bath in a bit, I just want to hold you a little longer."

You laid your face on his cheek, and his eye fluttered closed. "I like the sound of that."

Fin

[fluffyprettykitty]

Billy Russo's NSFW alphabet

Pairing: Billy Russo x female reader (no other specifications!)

Word Count: 2000 words

Warnings: oral sex, multiple sex positions, sex toys, gun kink, choking, temperature play, cum play, sub/dom roles, praise kink, phone sex, if I missed anything major please let me know!

Author’s Note: what won the poll yay! template can be found here! Dedicating to my fellow billy hoe @that-sarcastic-writer, ily, here's some porn <3

PS: dividers & banners by @/saradika

Main Masterlist ・❥・Billy Russo Masterlist

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Billy is big into aftercare after sex, he likes taking care of their partner, soothing their skin, applying lotion, helping them shower, and cleaning them up thoroughly, he is into taking care of his own so he wants the same treatment for his partner.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Billy's favorite body part of his is of course his cock, he is the type of guy who has given a nickname to it and always refers to his cock as a second person rather than a body part. Now as for his partner Billy is into necks, he loves kissing and caressing and watching you squirm just from the most innocent touch.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Billy truly does love cumming, he says that it's a work of an art. and god's gift to mankind to cum on your body, he does prefer cumming on you rather than inside you cause he loves watching it spread but he's never opposed to a creampie either.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Billy would never directly tell you because he loves not losing control but he loves it when you take care of him, like praising him, telling how good he's doing, it just makes him go harder and rougher on you hearing your sweet praises. His pride though won't let him admit it because he also loves playing into the sensual dominant role as well.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Billy is one of the most experienced men in the world. He has been into women since he was a teen and knew how to chase them and make them his therefore there have been many one night stands in his life, some longer than one night and some multiple times a year. In short Billy has never met a woman he couldn't flirt with.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Billy loves it when you top him. He loves sitting back on the couch or the bed and watching you work your body on him. He will guide your hips or hold your back or your breasts helping you leverage your movements better. He is truly into the visuals and if he could he'd had you like this several times a day.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Billy is more serious than most, he loves praising you or guiding you and in a moment he might tell a joke to relax you a little but for the most part he sticks to the main part.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Billy is very much into himself therefore he takes really good care of his body with several trips to beauticians and what not so he is very well groomed and most clean.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He can get very intimate as in he loves being a romantic a heart and he loves that primal position of taking care of a woman. He loves caressing you and soothing your skin and kissing you again and again making you feel loved in the moment and watching you look at him with eyes full of love. He will whisper several i love yous in the right moment when he feels the need to.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Billy mostly likes jacking off to your pictures or videos you took together when he's away on his business trips. He loves setting up his screen to watch your pretty body or calling you to hear your sexy voice and he grunts and strokes his cock when you tell him to. He is very into masturbating together over the phone.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He is a very kinky man. There isn't any sexual position he hasn't yet tried but one of his favourites is lingerie. He loves buying you the goods himself and watching you model for him, or keeping one of your panties in his pocket.

Billy is also very very into choking you but also loves it when you choke him as well. He gets extremely aroused when you wrap your hands around his neck and squeeze and if it wasn't for his extraordinary military discipline he'd cum right there and then.

Another kink of his is temperature play, whether wax or ice or anything else he loves that slow sensual build it gives you, and loves taking his time fucking you and building up the suspense towards the main act.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Billy is the type of person who could have you anywhere and on any surface available but he's absolutely favorite is shoved up in a corner a little bit away from preying eyes because he honestly couldn't wait to get you home to fuck you. Second favourite is the car for the same reason. Then comes the bedroom only for that nice long morning fucks.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

What doesn't turn him on. Billy is a very horny man by design, because he's incredibly passionate and genuinely extremely active in all senses he rarely rests. Being in the same room with you is what drives him crazy the most, he can't spend too much time together without wanting to fuck you or thinking of how to shove you in the nearest corner. If anything you've always wondered how he can live with constantly having an almost hard-on.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Billy would never do something you didn't want to do. He is very big on boundaries and discussing kinks and what not with each other.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Billy does love giving more than receiving only cause he is such an expert with his tongue and he knows how much you also love it. Billy loves taking his time and turning into an all night activity with his shirt off cause he will get sweaty, his fingers working inside you or on your thighs and his tongue close to your cunt teasing you and working you. He also loves eating you out from the back whenever he watches you lean a little too much on the counter and he can barely help himself. Billy also likes when you ride his face whenever work stresses you a little too much.

Now as for him, he is never opposed to one although his favorite is when you want to do it while he's driving. Something about your mouth on him, your ass up with his spare hand slapping you or fingering you gives him such an insane power trip that keeps him going. Although he never would say no to a messy blowjob when he's working hard on a case.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Billy can truly be anything you need him to be. Fast or slow, he loves to build it all to keep the momentum and give you the maximum pleasure. Billy switches it up several times, going from slow to rough back to slowly kissing right before hitting the edge and back at it again. At stressful days at work he works your body like a boxing cage and on other days he works your body like a violin. It all depends on the circumstances.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He is not opposed to a quickie although he does prefer it longer. He usually goes that route during dinner parties or outings with other people. He is incapable of keeping his hands to himself even if you had fucked a minute before arriving everywhere so his option to not let other people get too suspicious is a quickie. A quick fill as he loves to call it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Billy loves experimenting, trying new things, new positions, several role play parts, trying out new toys or new ways. He is a very risky man in all aspects of his life so he makes sure his bedroom activities are also extremely adventurous.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Billy's stamina is incredible, he is the very definition of an insatiable man and therefore it's hard for him to stop. He could last a whole day teasing your denying you his cock when he feels like to but if you keep on teasing him yourself he would try his very best to please you. He always make sure you cum first regardless, but mostly he gives it all in the end.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Billy didn't had toys on his own before he met you but after he managed to build quite a collection. All of different speeds and volumes and what not, all to be used on you, when you get him his first cocksucker he almost whines about it but he does secretly use it when he's away. Now as for the cock ring he keeps it on until you tell him to take it off and he listens like the good boy he is!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Billy loves to tease but his endgame is always to fuck so his teasing doesn't take too long to stop. He just loves watching you squirm in the moment until you beg him.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Billy can ber very loud for a man, he moans and grunts and talks a lot during the act. He moans when he eats you, he grunts when he fucks you and he groans when he gets inside you. It's hard for other people not to hear you when you go at it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Billy does love his toys. But what he loves the most is his guns. He is not one to hesitate to use it during the act once he knows he can trust you and you are about as crazy as he is. He loves taking the cool metal side up your things and teasing your entrance till he slips int inside and in the same vain he likes it when he keeps it against your neck fucking you from behind. He might like it a little bit more when he also makes you cum on it and then has you lick it clean but that's for you to find out.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Billy has a perfect adonis-like body, his military training has given him the discipline and the motivation to always keep at it so this with the combination of how well-groomed he is gives him the perfect body. Now as for his cock, he is a bit lengthy cause of his tall build and girthy enough to make you remember him forever.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Billy has an incredible sex drive because he is a constantly horny man. Even worse than a teenage boy. He is always ready for it anywhere and in any place.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Billy does sleep quickly afterward especially after having taken a shower with you and wrapping you tenderly inside his arms. He sleeps with his chin on your shoulder and drifts when your breaths match up.

If you want to be notified about my future stories please follow my library blog @fluffyprettykittylibrary and turn on notifications!

[e-dubbc11]

Only You’re The One

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Swear words, alludes to smexy time(mostly PG-13), Billy being possessive and jealous, mentions of Billy’s commitment issues, no use of “y/n”

Word Count: 2K-ish

Summary: A brief run in with your ex puts Billy in a mood and has him wondering about how the love he has for you compares to your previous relationships

A/N: Random thought, good thing there are a lot of pictures of Ben online. I like to use a different one for each of the moodboards I make. Title is a song by Lifehouse that I’ll link at the end (one of my favorites)

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

A quick run-in. That’s all it was.

A brief encounter with an old boyfriend while on a night out with your current boyfriend left Billy feeling possessive, unsure, and a little jealous.

You could see the frustration in his onyx colored eyes that shined like two flat black marbles under the warm city street lights. His cheeks were flushed with anger and he gripped your hand tightly as you continued to walk down the sidewalk.

His silence was a sign of irritation, anger, and what he considered to be weakness. And it was because you knew he loved you more than anything but the threat of anyone taking you away from him scared him to death.

It hasn’t always been easy. He was easily triggered by any man’s glance lingering a little too long, an innocent smile in your direction, and god help them if they tried to flirt with you in front of him. Sometimes they were just THAT bold but that was no excuse for him to threaten them like he did or worse and you repeatedly had to tell him that…firmly.

Fuck, you loved him for it though. No one fought for you as hard as Billy did, loved you as fiercely, and that just deepened your love for him. Nobody would ever take you away from him. You’d never let them.

It pained you to watch him suffer in silence, to not be able to always say what he wanted to or to express to you how he was feeling. The smile had disappeared from his face as soon as your ex stopped you mid-stride, Billy’s eyes slowly narrowed when you introduced them to each other, and there was a thread of warning in his voice as he said “Nice to meet you.” Billy’s lips pulled back to reveal clenched teeth as you politely smiled and said “It was nice to see you” then you continued the walk home.

As soon as the elevator doors closed, Billy turned feral, the hungry kisses, his teeth nipping at your chin and jaw then kissed the smooth skin of your throat, and lightly biting the spot where your neck meets your shoulder, making you gasp into his ear.

Intense desire burned in his eyes for you as his hand disappeared under your blouse and tickled the sensitive skin of your stomach. Hearing his name escape your lips turned him on and you could feel his hard cock against your core as he pushed up against you in the corner of the elevator.

His touches and kisses were urgent like he was trying to prove something and he encouraged you to touch him more like he was starved for your affection when it was clear to you that he just needed some reassurance. Billy wanted to feel your nails scratching his scalp or your hands clasped behind his neck with your legs wrapped around him as he lifted you off the floor and pinned you to the wall.

There was a touch of acid in his tone as he sharply said, “You’re mine.”

Your eyelids were warm with his breath and a growl came from deep down in his throat as he continued to firmly press his body against yours like he didn’t want you to escape. The grip he had on you eased only after you whispered against his ear, “I’m yours, Billy. It’s ok. You don’t have to hold on so tight, my love.” Billy eased up on the tight grip he had on your hips and slowly backed away to allow your feet to touch the floor. “Thaaaaaat’s it.”

Looking up at him through your long dark lashes, you wanted to reassure him and tell him that he was the only one for you so without saying anything, you raked your nails against his scalp and gingerly pulled down on his neck so you could touch your forehead to his. It was calming and soothing to him and helped to bring your breathing back to normal.

Billy’s lips touched yours again, softer this time, and you faintly tasted the vanilla and cloves on his lips from the bourbon he had earlier tonight. He stayed close and long enough to be able to inhale your scent and feel the warmth of your skin against his fingertips.

You could still smell the spicy cologne left on his shirt from this morning as you loosened his silk tie, it felt cool to the touch as it slid through your fingers just as the doors to the elevator opened again on the penthouse floor.

With your knees trembling slightly and your legs threatening to give out, he laced his fingers with yours to lead you off the elevator and quickly ushered you inside.

It felt good to be home.

The two of you left a trail of clothes from the front door to the bedroom and you wasted no time falling into each other, Billy teased you and touched you right where you needed it the most, he took his time ravaging every inch of you, your body short circuited when he touched you but in the best possible way, and he didn’t stop until you were overstimulated and he pulled every orgasm out of you that he possibly could. Or, in his words, until you were “properly fucked.”

Still tangled in each other’s limbs, your eyes opened again before his did after a short sleep. Your eyes flicked from his hand enclosed over yours, up to the peaceful look he had on his face as he slept. Listening to the steady beat of his heart, a slight smile stretched across your lips as you felt his chest gently rise and fall underneath your head.

His raven colored hair had fallen down onto his forehead to graze the top of his eyebrows, you wanted to move it away from his eyes but you didn’t want to disturb him.

He slept so little.

You managed to unravel yourself, throw on one of Billy’s t-shirts, and get out of bed all without moving the mattress too much. You needed a drink of water. As you started to tip toe out of the bedroom, you heard his soft silvery voice cut through the silence.

“Did you love him?” He choked out with bitterness in his voice.

Your heart sank like a lead weight and shattered as soon as it hit your stomach. The lump in your throat prevented you from giving him a rapid response.

Finally, without turning around you managed to choke out, “Billy…”

“Did you…love him?” Billy repeated again.

You turned to face him. Billy’s jaw was clenched, his breathing was shallow, and his stomach muscles stiffened. Although you knew running into an ex would probably happen at some point, you had hoped it wouldn’t.

“At one time, yes…yes I-I did.” You replied, walking back toward the bed.

Billy’s top lip curled back away from his teeth, he shook his head and said in a frustrated tone, “I guess that’s the difference between your exes and mine. I never loved them, any of them. And I’ll never be the only one who’s loved you.” His New York accent a little heavier now.

Billy’s childhood experiences had prevented him from forming any kind of romantic relationship. It had always been purely physical but you were different and it all changed the day he met you.

The wall he put up was no longer impenetrable, his smiles traveled all the way to his eyes, and the ache and heaviness in his heart seemed to finally subside. He knew it would always be there but it hurt just a little bit less.

Your body went numb as you climbed back onto the bed and into his lap. Billy never had a model for what love is, he didn’t know how but he knew when he was with you, he felt…different.

“Well…that’s love, Billy.” You had said to him months ago with a warm smile.

He replied, “But I’ve never known what that feels like, sweet girl.”

“I think you do now.” You had said, pushing yourself up onto your toes and gently pressing your lips to his.

He knew there had been other boyfriends but he never had to meet them face to face, shake their hand, or forced to watch the way they doted on you, hung on your every word, or think that they even came close to loving you as much as he did.

Billy rested his hands on your hips while you snaked your arms around his neck. He briefly closed his eyes as you delicately scratched his scalp with your fingernails; it was one of his favorite things you did for him.

As you brushed his beard with your thumb, you just smiled at him and replied, “Billy, my love…you’re right…you aren’t the only one.”

Billy looked confused and suddenly his face was overwhelmed with sadness, almost anger but before he could react, you finished your sentence.

“But you’ll always be the one who loved me the most.” You said as a tear streaked down your cheek. “There’s a reason I’m not with any of them anymore, Billy.”

He didn’t say a word, just smiled his perfect smile and pulled you in closer. Holding you in a crushing grip, Billy’s lips collided with yours, his tongue parted your lips to entangle with yours, and his hand traced along the sculpted hollow of your throat. You choked on your need for him with his mouth slanting over yours and you never wanted to let him go.

“Because you’re meant to be with me, sweet girl. I know I love you more than any of those others ever have.” He growled. “But I could tell, I could see it in his face that he still loves you, and I just…” Billy paused. “I just want to be the only one who gets to love you.”

His competitive nature had him striving to be the best at everything. He didn’t care what he had to do but he was going to win…especially when it came to your love.

You could feel all the muscles in his body tense at the same time. Billy was a marine, a scout sniper, physically strong, smart, and determined but sometimes it was easy to forget that there was a scared, broken little boy inside who just wanted to be loved.

He wanted affection but didn’t know how to ask for it without appearing vulnerable and he always wanted to be in control. But there are always going to be circumstances that he can’t control which he was still in the process of learning.

“Billy…you know that’s something neither one of us can control, I can’t help the way they feel about me but you are the ONLY one who will ever GET my love in return.” You said with a hitch in your voice but with assurance.

Again, Billy didn’t know what to say but at that moment, his endless brown eyes said everything he couldn’t say out loud. They said “I love you” and “thank you for loving me.”

You weren’t expecting him to but he said the quiet part aloud.

“I love you and thank you for loving me, sweet girl.” Billy whispered against your lips.

He let his head fall into your neck and shoulder after he kissed you again. You could feel his warm breath going through the t-shirt and brushing against your skin underneath as your lips curled to reveal a loving smile.

“You’re easy to love, baby. Frustrating as fuck sometimes but easy to love; And I love you too.” You said with a little laugh which made him chuckle too.

Billy Russo was so much more than his money, his charm and his good looks. If anyone, including his mother, had bothered to look a little deeper they would have seen an unwavering, intelligent, hard-working, wonderful man and the only wish he had was to mean something to them other than for the money in his pockets or a piece of arm candy. Lord knows he wasn’t perfect but he was perfect for you.

Billy didn’t anticipate someone like you to come into his life, someone that tried a little harder, that didn’t give up on him when he shut down, or that really wanted to get to know the man underneath the fancy suit.

You were unexpected, a startling surprise yet welcomed and you were the one he had waited his entire life for.

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[tuiccim]

Wrecked (Epilogue: Six Months Later)

Pairing: Alpha Billy Russo x Omega Reader

Trigger Warnings: References to infertility, love triangle, Omegaverse canon possessiveness

Summary: When Frank Castle found his way to your small town bar, you thought you had finally found your Alpha despite being a “wrecked omega” but when his best friend, Billy Russo, blows through town, your world tilts on its axis. You thought you found your happy ending but was it just more wreckage for your life?

A/N: Thank you to my beta reader and hype princess, @whisperlullaby

Wrecked Masterlist

You sashayed around the gorgeous kitchen of the apartment you shared with your Alpha. The move to New York had been easier than you ever believed. It was strange, being in a place where people either didn’t know you at all or knew you as merely a mated Omega. Billy had ensured that your mark was highly visible and then had added a giant rock to your finger so no one questioned it. You smile as you hear him come through the door. 

“Hey Gorgeous,” he calls as he saunters towards you. 

“Mmm, if it isn’t my wickedly handsome Alpha,” you tease as you wrap your arms around him for a kiss. 

“How was your day?” He asks as he looks into your face while grabbing a healthy handful of your ass. 

“Great. Everything’s almost ready. How was yours?” you smile as you separate from him to check on the food.

“Good. One note of interest, I got a call from Frankie,” Billy leans on the counter. 

“Seriously?” You say, eyebrows raised. Frank had been a ghost since he disappeared from your life. You had heard the rumors revolving around the mysterious Punisher. A certain drunk driver, his father, and a few corrupt police officers had all met their end in unusual circumstances.

“Yeah, he’s here in the city,” Bill says. 

“Really? I assumed he was long gone by now,” you shake your head. 

“He’s coming by tonight. You didn’t happen to make extra?” Billy asks with a devilish smirk.

“Are you serious?” You gape at him.

“As a heart attack,” Billy eyes you. 

“Did you tell him about us? That I was here?” You narrow your eyes. 

Billy makes an unconcerned face as he shakes his head. 

You can’t help the smile that quirks your lips, “You are a very bad man.”

“Mmhm, but a very good Alpha,” Billy pulls you into his arms. It was a silly thing you said to each other often. A playful game that often led to playful times. 

“So very true,” you laugh as he pulls you in for a kiss. 

When you finally part, he tilts your head back and growls possessively, “If he needs to crash for the night, I’m gonna fuck you until all you can do is scream my name.”

“Oh, really? So, it’ll be the same as every other night?” You lean your forehead to his as you both laugh. It’s interrupted by a heavy-handed knock on the door. “I wonder who on Earth that could be,” you snark with feigned wide-eyed innocence. 

“It’s either gonna be an old friend or a new enemy. This is gonna be fun,” Billy says cockily as he heads for the door and you turn to grab plates and utensils for dinner. 

“Hey Bill,” Frank’s familiar, gruff voice makes your nerves jump. 

“Frankie, where the hell have you been? Wait, don’t answer that, I don’t want to have to testify in court,” Billy chuckles as he claps him on the shoulder. 

“Uh, I didn’t realize you already had company,” Frank says, obviously having spotted you. 

You turn around to face him and smile, “Hi Frank.”

Frank stops in his tracks and stares for a long moment before bellowing, “Iiiiiii fucking knew it! You son of a bitch!” 

You watch Billy go rigid as the two stare at each other. Several tense seconds ticked by before you began to open your mouth to break the silence, but then you see the corner of Frank’s mouth quirk and then Billy smirks. The next thing you know, the two are laughing. You stare at them bewildered. When they finally look at you, their laughter renews, probably because of the look on your face. 

“I knew it. I knew you had a thing for her,” Frank pushes his best friend’s shoulder. 

“Oh, yeah? How was that?” Billy challenges him disbelievingly. 

“I hadn’t thought about it until you got there but an Omega that can’t get pregnant? Right up your alley. Only Alpha I’ve ever known that didn’t want pups,” Frank says. 

“You’re full of shit,” Billy counters.

“It was half the reason I left. You think I didn’t know it was you that sent me that note? You wanted me out of the way… and I knew I couldn’t give her what she deserved,” he says in a rare moment of transparency. 

You narrowed your eyes as Billy’s head whips around to see if you caught Frank’s words. And their meaning. You had always questioned if it was Billy that sent that message to Frank but you had never wanted to ask. Crossing to him quickly, you grab the front of his shirt and slam him back into the wall. You stare at him, anger clearly written across your face, “You are,” you pause and give a playful little smirk, “a very, very bad man.”

“But such a good, good Alpha,” Billy grins sexily before grabbing you and reversing your rolls. He presses you to the wall, his hands grasping your ass as his lips descend on yours. You get lost in it for a moment, your tongues dance and bodies heat up. Until someone clears their throat loudly. You giggle guiltily as you distance yourself from Billy. 

“Would you like to stay for dinner, Frank?” You ask. 

“Love to. What are we having?” Frank chuckles. 

“Meatloaf and mashed potatoes,” you roll your lips in to keep from giggling, remembering it was the meal you were eating when he told you Billy was coming to town. It was funny that you even remembered that. But it was the moment that started a whole new life for you, one with Billy. 

“My favorite. Do you think I could get a meatloaf sandwich to have for lunch tomorrow?” Frank asks with an enigmatic smile. It let you know he remembered that day, too. 

“I can arrange that,” you nod. 

“So, uh, the bar?” Frank asks. 

“Sold it,” you say simply as you fill plates.

“The cabin?” He asks.

“Sold it,” you reply nonchalantly, setting a plate in front of Billy. 

“What are you doing to keep busy here?” Frank continues his questions. He glances over at Billy to catch the possessive expression he’s glaring with and instantly reins in the smart remark about Billy keeping you busy that was on the tip of his tongue. He really didn’t want to tangle with a newly mated Alpha and his best friend had always been a little unhinged. 

“I’m opening a new bar in a couple of weeks,” you look at Billy to calm him as you set down Frank’s plate. 

“Really? By yourself?” Frank’s eyebrows raise. 

“Well, it’s more of a club. I have an excellent team helping me,” you wink at Billy as you impart information that should get an interesting reaction from Frank. “Cecily moved here to help and, of course, her pack came as well.”

Frank nearly chokes on his food, “Pack?!?”

“Yes, her Alpha, Jordan, and Beta, Robbie.”

“Jordan? Jordan Jordan? Jordan from the bar, Jordan? Like, Jordan?”

You’re laughing too hard at this moment to speak so Billy answers for you, “Yeah, that Jordan. He’s a good guy. They both are and Cecily with them works. Somehow.”

“That’s crazy,” Frank muses.

“Yeah, it was,” you admit.

“That’s cool. I’m glad they’re happy. And you, both of you,” Frank reassures. 

“Thanks, Frankie,” Billy nods as you smile at him. 

“A club, huh?” Frank steers the conversation back to less emotional ground.

“Yeah, I can show you the space if you’d like,” you offer. 

“Maybe,” Frank demures. “What’s it called?”

You glance at Billy who grins and shakes his head while looking down before looking back at Frank with a smile, “Wrecked.”

Please follow my sideblog @tuiccimfanfiction​ for update notifications. All series and new stories will be reblogged to it. You will only receive notifications when a new part or story is out! Nothing else will be blogged to the page. I can’t thank you enough for your support!

[quellmythirst]

Desperation

Summary: you and your boyfriend move to the city. Little do you know, your ex had plans of his own.

Ex!Reader x Billy Russo

4.3k

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. DON'T BE SHOCKED THAT BILLY RUSSO IS A MANIPULATIVE STALKER. smut, swearing, alcohol, pet names, manipulation, stalking, lying, fluff, reconciliation, exs to lovers, cheating. Dead Dove Do Not Eat.

"Billy?" You think as you walk down the aisle of the grocery store towards the tall man in a dark suit, his hair almost the same as his had been the last time you saw him, "can't be him." You try to reason, he's probably still overseas and you haven't seen him, since… well, since he walked away from you all those years ago. You're just about to turn, having talked yourself out of it when the man turns and sees you.

"Hi,” he rakes his hand through his hair, “is that really you?" he squints, his head tilting to the side in curiosity.

"Billy," you smile, trying not to melt at how happy he seems to see you, “Hi.” you give him a small wave.

"How've you been?" He asks, stepping towards you, "I didn't know you lived in this neighbourhood." Billy lies. He knows you and your little boyfriend just moved into the apartment building next to his.

He wasn’t surprised that it only took a week to memorise your new routine. You always moved like clockwork, just like you did when he knew you all those years ago. It was only when he spotted you last night staring out into the city lights that he decided that it needed to be today. You have been living on takeout for a week and you always did hate that. You’ll need a home cooked meal after a week of moving and unpacking. It's perfect. A perfect place for a chance meeting of old flames. 

"I've been okay," your eyes glance over him. He looks good, better than good. His suit is so perfectly tailored and shit, is that armani? Billy's shiny dark hair is combed back in a way that looks effortless but you know he would have taken years to perfect. You’re so focused on ogling him that you forget to say anything for a second, "We just moved here."

"Good choice,” he says, like he isn’t just itching to reach out and touch you, “it's a nice neighbourhood." He pauses, taking a step toward you, "we?" He asks, trying to feign ignorance like he hasn't kept tabs on you since he got back. Like he doesn’t know about Ash the guitarist or Leo the bar owner or Bobbie the artist. All of them, useless, appalling mimics, comparisons, terrible shadows of Billy and none of them as useless as James the entrepreneur who always claimed he was one shot from making it big.

"Yeah, Jim said there’s opportunity in the city. So we decided it would be easier to move," you shift, why is he looking at you like that? “Be where the action is and all that.”

"Jim, huh. Sounds nice." He takes a step back, hoping that you're going to follow his movement like you always used to. You’re looking at him almost like you used to, except now your eyes are darting to the left, seeing if anyone sees you, if you can run maybe?

"He is." You step forward, "he's a really good guy." He is, he’s nice, reliable, he loves you and he isn’t going to fuck off to a war the moment things start to get real. 

"I'm happy for you." His hand reaches out wanting so badly to touch you after so long. But instead of holding your cheek like he wants to, it lands on your shoulder. Billy smiles so sincerely at you, and says the one thing he’s always known to be true, "all I ever wanted was for you to be happy."

"Hmm. Yeah " you step back from his hand, his intense gaze getting a little too much for you. Your stomach and heart swirling from the way those pretty brown eyes stare into your soul, "well it was nice seeing you. I better run."

"Wait," he calls as you turn to leave, catching your wrist in his hand, “before you go. I'd really like to catch up for coffee sometime."

"I don't know Billy."

"Please, it'll be fun. Can’t we just- It’s just coffee. It’s been what? 5 years?” 7 years, 6 months, 1 week and 3 days. “I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to.”

"One coffee." You give in so easily like you always have, scribbling your number down on one of Jimmy's business cards and handing it to Billy, "in case you deleted my number."

"I didn't."

"Just let me know when you're free."

XXx

"Hey,” Billy smiles as you answer on the fourth ring, “just wanted to see if you were free tomorrow?" Billy says as you answer the call and when you stay silent he keeps talking, "if you're not, that’s cool. We can catch up another time."

"I ah-"

"What's wrong?" He says, instantly recognising your tone. The tone that says you’re angry, but you don’t want to show it. Billy knows you're with him, he saw James. He watched the both of you go up the evaluator ten minutes ago. 

"Now isn’t a good time." you stutter out, hanging up the call. 

Billy picks up his glass, swirling it as he leans onto the large window of his apartment. He spots you in a second. Your hand on your hip while James turns away from you. Billy sips at his whiskey as you pace your apartment. James follows you, his arms flying around wildly. You spin on your heel, as Billy clicks open his phone, easily selecting your number and calling again under the guise of concern.

He knows the moment your phone starts ringing and you flip it over on the counter. James looks like he's yelling now. When the call rings out, Billy flicks open a message as you sit down in what looks like a huff.

Hi, you seemed upset. Hope everything is ok.

James is still swanning about, flapping his arms about as you sit on the sofa. Billy smiles, it took a lot of work to get you an apartment directly opposite his. It was worth every penny to get to see you argue with the man you up tried to replace him with. Like you could ever replace him, he sure as shit had a hard time trying to replace you.

Billy smirks as the theatrics of the rest of the argument unfolds, the scotch in his hand empty as your boyfriend starts to throw clothes into a bag. You follow him, trying desperately to get James’ attention. He should have put mics in your apartment, so he could listen to this man tell you how insecure he is, how he knows he’ll never compare to the love you shared, tell you he knows how much better you’d be without him and how it eats away at him. 

You’re crying, Billy hates it, but it needs to be done. He pours another drink as the idiot finally leaves with his bag. Billy waits. Waiting for the call that he knows is coming. Who else could you call? You don’t know anyone else in the city, there's only one person in this city of millions who knows you well enough to make you feel safe. So, he waits. Waits for the call that he knows is coming.

It only takes 2 hours. He’s been watching you, you cried into the couch for 30 minutes before grabbing a bottle of wine and slipping into the bedroom. He resists the urge to go to you, to wrap his arms around you and dry those pretty tears. An hour later you reappear with a tub of ice-cream and lay down on the couch. He’s on his third glass of whiskey, when his phone starts to vibrate. He waits a moment, setting his glass down before reclining and reading the text.

Kitten: Billy, are you free now? 

Billy: I am. Is everything alright? You seemed upset

Kitten: Fine, just have some time to kill.

Billy: Do you know Cool Beans? It’s on the corner of-

Kitten: yeah, The red brick place? I know it. Can we meet in 30?

Billy: I’ll see you there. 

Billy arrives a few seconds after you, following you down the street will do that. He watched you, your shoulders hunched over, your pace quicker than he thought it would be. You must be desperate to see him. Good. 

He enters the cafe, immediately spotting you sitting at a table near the back wall. You look so beautiful in those yoga pants, your pretty hair tied up in a bun. He only sees that your face is still fresh from where you tried to wash the tears away, when you lift it from your hands.

"Didn't mean to be late,” Billy lies as he approaches your table, "got caught up with a work thing.” his face changes to concern as he gets closer and he can see the red in your eyes. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying?”

"Yeah,” you rub your eyes and smile up at him, “I only just got here."

Billy spends the next hour asking you a million questions, like he doesn’t already know. Sure, he doesn’t need you to tell him, but he loves to hear you talk and the way you tell your story. He loves how talking distracts you and you start to smile. 

You’re on your second cup of coffee and your third piece of cake when you let out a sigh. Small tears run down your cheek as Billy reaches out to hold your hand. “You can tell me, maybe I can help?” he tries to comfort you, without reaching too far too fast.

Resting your head in your hand you look up at him. Whispering about how your boyfriend decided to go on a fishing trip with his friends suddenly. How you thought you’d be spending the weekend together and now you’ve been left in a city you don’t know by yourself. You leave out some of the hurtful things James said to you, brushing them aside as you squeeze on Billy's hand. You really want to talk to him, to sort this out, but he’s screening your calls and all because you had a call from an old friend. You confess all this to him and he just stares at you, his eyes sympathetic and you feel like you’ve crossed a line. “Sorry, you just wanted a coffee and I’ve dropped all this on you.” you start to pull your hand away, but Billy gives you a tight squeeze.

"Why don't you come hang out with me? I don’t live far from here."

"I don't know. I’m sure I’ve already ruined your day.”

“Don’t be silly. It'll be fun. We can watch legally blonde and eat junk food.”

“You promise?” you wipe the tears from your cheek, “I feel like I just lumped all my problems on you and now you’re just trying to make me feel better.”

“I am. I just thought you might wanna see a friendly face,” he pauses, standing up and grabbing your coat, “maybe not be alone.”

“I really don’t want to be a burden.”

“You could never burden me.” Billy helps you slip on your coat, and when you duck away from him he steps in front of you, “I mean it. Never.”

“Thanks,” you give him such a tiny smile.

“I’m just down the street.”

“Alright, lead the way.” you agree, thoughts of sitting alone in your apartment looking over everything. Replaying the fight over and over again/ Wondering where James could actually be, is he going to come back? This is exactly what you need, a distraction and if the distraction happens to be a tall, handsome, expensive suit wearing old friend, who are you to complain? Maybe today is just the luckiest unlucky day ever.

You walk together, your shoulders brushing as you make your way down the busy street. Billy walks you in a circle, around several unnecessary buildings hoping that you don't notice that his apartment building is opposite yours. But as you approach the glass towers you point out your new place on the other side of the road. 

“Weird, what are the chances,” you ponder, thinking it must be fate that Billy lives just across the way from you. Maybe moving to the city was the universe's way of telling you things are looking up. Billy’s changed so much since the last time you saw him on that cold winter night. He’s grown, seems more mature, more at ease in his own skin. But the way he looks at you, the feelings that swim still inside your heart, maybe this wasn’t a good idea. You glance over at him and he’s still smiling at you, in that soft, warm way that calls to you.

“Yeah, that is weird. Small worlds huh?”

“Mm, must be.” You shrug, following him up to the elevator.

When you make it to his apartment Billy tries not to be smug about how much bigger it is than yours. About how his huge windows have a clear view of the city and how you're already taking off your coat and making yourself at home.

“Do you want a drink?”

“Yeah that'd be nice. Do you gave any-”

“Prosecco? I think I have a bottle here somewhere,” He opens the fridge with 3 bottles in it, ready and waiting for you.

“Thanks,” taking the glass he offers you. You relax into the large sofa, resting your drink on your knee. 

“So you had a fight and he left huh?” Billy asks, sitting down next to you. A drink in his hand as his arm spreads out behind you on the couch, “Seems a bit extreme.” 

“Basically. I can't believe he'd be so jealous.” You huff, taking a sip of your wine, “we haven't seen each other in years. And he just- I don’t get it. That he could think-” you roll your eyes, trying not to see the way Billy is looking at you.

“I wouldn't have called if I knew it was going to be a problem for you.” he gives your shoulder a squeeze, “You should’ve just said.” like he would’ve listened, like he wouldn’t have tried again and again.

“I know, he's just being irrational. Hopefully he'll come around.” you shuffle, adjusting yourself on the couch and resting your head on Billy's shoulder. It feels nice, safe. Like for the first time in hours you can breathe again.

“He's an idiot if he doesn't,” he moves to wipe away a tear that's falling down your cheek, “he'd be an idiot to lose you.”

“What does that make you?” you ask, peering up at him, forgetting just how close your faces are with your head resting on his shoulder.

“Biggest idiot ever,” his sincerity beaming into you, “or luckiest man alive, to run into you in that store. Take your pick.”

“Billy.”

“Kitten.”

“Haven’t heard that in a very long time,” the mention of your old nickname sends a shiver down your spine and the blood pumping into your veins like it always did when he called you that.

“Haven't said it in a long time either.” his hand brushes along your cheek, “I missed you, Kitten.”

“Billy.”

“Do you want to watch the movie?” he asks, so softly his fingers gently stroking over your cheekbones, “I can move, if it makes you more comfortable.” he doesn’t want to, doesn't want to ever let you go now that he’s finally got his hands on you. "Or you can yell and scream at me," he suggests, "like old times. “Take some of that anger out on me." He hopes you take the bait, desperately wants you too. But this is important, you need to choose this. Even if he had made getting you to this choice possible. 

“Is that what you want?" you ask, pulling your head back.

"What I want? I told you already, all I want is for you to be happy."

"Oh." You stand, hands on your hips, "how could that possibly be true?" You turn from him as you start to walk away, "I know that's a lie."

"It's not a lie, Kitten."

"It fucking is." You spin, your eyes glaring daggers into him. Fuck, you're beautiful, "you want me to be happy?" You stomp, "I was happy. Once. A long time ago." You shout, stamping towards him with your finger pointed at him. So pretty when you're angry. "You were the person who took that away from me."

"I miss you."

"You miss me?" You slap at his chest, "it's your fault you don't have me!"

"I need you."

"The only thing you ever needed in your life was violence. You never needed me!" You feel the fury in your hands start to shake as Billy lets you slap at him.

"I always needed you," he stops your hands holding them close to his heart, "I needed you so badly it scared the shit outa me."

"So you ran." You pull your hands free, glaring up at him with such defiance in those pretty eyes.

"I did." He reaches out for you, but you step back, "not my finest moment. Probably the stupidest thing I ever did."

"So what now, Billy? We’re just meant to be friends?" You throw your hands up in the air, "pretend like whatever we had is gone?"

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what William?"

"Don't."

"What William? Tell me I'm wrong."

"I think we’re getting too heated. We just need to take a breath." He hopes you take the bait, that you see his lie for what it is. So he turns away, " you don't mean that."

"This conversation is not over, William." He can hear you stomping towards him, "don't you fucking turn away from me again." You shout grabbing him by wrist and slapping in his face when he turns back to you.

"You feel better now?"

"No. You asshole. I don't feel better!" You attempt to slap him again, but he catches your hand in his.

"Stop."

"Fuck you."

"Yeah, fuck me. I'm an asshole." He stares down at you, watching your eyes as he releases your hand. "What are you going to do about it?" His eyes trace over your tongue as it slips over your lips.

"William." Your hand wraps onto his collar pulling his lips to yours and you melt into his kiss. Shit, did he always taste this sweet? Yeah, he did. But with the tang over whiskey on his tongue you may become addicted. His hands slip into your hair, holding your face so close as you cling to him. His heart soars as your body presses into him, his hands unable to control the way they roam over your body.

You can’t stop kissing, neither of you saying anything as you rush to undress each other as he guides you both towards his bedroom.

You fall back onto the bed together, both panting from the lack of air. "Are you sure about this Kitten?" He asks you, he needs to know. He craves it, the knowledge that you want him just as badly as he wants you.

"Is It wrong to want this?" You ask, your hand already travelling down his torso towards his cock, "that I missed it?"

"You miss me too or just my dick?"

"I missed all of you."

"Are you worried he will find out?”

“I hadn’t even-” he cuts off your train of thought.

“We keep this between us." He slows down the pace of your hand, gently pressing kisses into your neck, "I won't tell a soul, just tell me you want me."

"I want you." That's all he needs to hear as he grabs your legs wrapping around your waist as he leans down over you.

“Tell me again.”

“I want you, Billy.”

"Fuck, you’re so wet already."

"I am"

"For me?"

"Yes, Billy."

"Good girl, now open up for me." He says as his cock prodding at your pussy, itching to get inside. He swipes it up and down, gathering your wetness on his cock, "let me in, kitten." He moans as he reaches the end of you.

He kisses you fiercely, the feeling of coming home overwhelms him as he thrusts into you. His hands gripping tight at your hips, his chest weighing down on your as your fingers roam over his back. 

"I missed you," he breaks the kiss, his nose bumping yours as he stares down in your eyes, "did you miss this?"

"Missed you, so much." You moan in reply, your nails digging into his back. You need him closer, need his hands all over you and his marks on your pretty skin and his name on your lips.

"You're so fucking beautiful."

"Billy, you-" you pant his cock grinds into you, brushing against your g spot.

"That's it. Clamp down on me, Kitten." His hands slip up from your thighs, grabbing a better hold at your waist so he can pound his cock into you, "Shit, you feel too good. I need to- slow."

But you're so close, you can't slow down. You grind your hips into him, feeling the head of his cock flexing inside you and making your legs start to twitch, "you're getting close"

"Please don't stop, Billy."

"I won't."  He moves you, grabbing hold of your waists and pulling you up onto his lap. "I got you." His strong arms lift you, fucking you onto his cock, your head barely hanging on as your clit starts to brush against his lean torso. 

Your arms wrap around his shoulders, your fingers in his hair, pulling his head back from your tits and making him look up at you, "I missed you."

"I love you." He admits as his fingers bite into your side, "I love you." You free his hair and his face slides into your tits, exhaling into the soft flesh, biting and pinching with his mouth.

"You-" you try to breathe, "you can't mark me Billy."

"Say that you love me." He moves to the other breast swirling your nip in his mouth, his eyes not leaving yours.

"You can't- he'll"

"Mean it."

You grab at his hair again, pulling him off you as your hand connects with his face, "I love you."

"Do it again."

"I love you." You slap him again, this time following it up with a kiss as his hands slip up your back and cradles you close to him. 

"My Kitten." He sinks you back into the mattress, his whole body towering over you as he moves faster and more desperately. "Fucking perfect Kitten." His cock is so deep inside you when he starts to grind down into you, "cum for me." He keeps it in, the grinding sends your legs wild as your back arches underneath him, "what a pretty girl," he whispers as his lip brush over yours, "cum Kitten." He grips at your thighs, holding your pussy over his cock when you try to squirm away, "cum for me."

You moan his name, along with a garbled cry that sounds like a chicken let loose as your back arches all the way off the bed, your tits push into his chest and your eyes start to cross.

"Keep cumming Kitten," Billy's cock throbs inside of you and the wave still going, "fuck I'm so close." He pulls out just a little, before plunging back in, "where do you want it?"

"Insi-" you try to say as another wave of pleasure washes over you.

"Kitten," he smiles, as his own pleasure is reaching its peak, "you want to take my cum inside you?"

"Yes."

"You want me to fill you up?".

"Please Billy."

"Good girl." He starts to shake, his eyes open wide as he watches you still riding out your own pleasure, "I love you." He screams as he floods your insides with his cum. 

He doesn't stop and within seconds you feel a third wave washing over you and your whole body starts to twitch as your mind goes numb, "I love you." You whisper ,your words hoarse and breathless as you start to gently comb your fingers through his hair.

"Kitten," he whispers into your shoulder as his whole body drops on to you, "you ok?"

"Great, beyond great."

"Not angry anymore?"

"No." 

"Good, I'm going to roll us. You ready?" You give him a small nod and Billy rolls you on top of him. His fingers dance along your spine as you rest on his chest. "I'll grab you some water in a minute. I just wanna hold you a bit longer."

"Mm, this is nice." You start to pepper kisses on his chest, "I missed this the most."

"The angry fight sex?" He laughs, brushing your hair from your face when you look up at him.

"No, the cuddles after." You reach up and boop his nose, "you're always so sweet after."

"How could I ever stay mad at you when you take me so well? My pretty Kitten." He holds you tighter, like if he doesn't you're going to drift away again. “And then you smile at me like that.”

"See, sweet."

"Only for you."

"Hmm," you ponder, still wrapped up in your afterglow, "no one ever loved me the way you do." you whisper the throw away thought.

"They couldn't.” he gives you a tiny kiss on your hand,  “Noone else appreciated how spectacular you are."

"I'm not, I-".

"You are the most incredible person I've ever met. And I never knew what you wanted with me or what I did to deserve you, but I know that my life is not right without you in it. In whatever way I can have you."

"Billy what are we going to do about-" he cuts you off with a kiss.

"Don't." He pleads, "not while I'm still inside you. This is all I need," he gives you a squeeze, "to know that you're mine, that you love me too."

"I'm not yours." 

"You have always been mine, Kitten."

[dreamcatcher92]

Hide & Seek

Summary: You want to play a little game with your boyfriend.

Warnings: Smut, language, 18+ minors do not enter, dom/sub, use of calling Billy “sir” 

You couldn’t help but giggle while you hid under the big four post bed that you and Billy shared. You wanted to play a little game of hide and seek with Billy. You loved role playing and messing around when it came to sexy times with your hunk of a man. 

Today, you decided to hide underneath the bed and wait for him to come strolling in from a long day at work. Your panties get more and more soaked the more you imagine the things you would do to him and the things you want him to do to you. You are madly in love with Billy and he feels the same about you. 

Suddenly, you’re ripped from your daydreaming when you hear the front door open and shut. Billy walks in and peels off his black coat and hangs it on the coat hook by the front door. He can tell that it’s eerily quiet. 

“Babe?” He calls out. 

Silence is all he is met with, but he knows you’re home. Your stuff is here, so he knows now that you want to play. He smiles.

You cover your mouth and giggle as silently as possible. You can hear him walking around, but suddenly, complete and utter silence. Then, he grabs you by your ankles and pulls you out from under the bed. You let out a squeal. 

You laugh and turn over on your back to look up at him, “Hi Billy.”

Without saying a word, he leans down and picks you up off the floor. He doesn’t give you a chance to move or say anything before he’s laying deep passionate kisses on you and taking your clothes off. You don’t fight him and just let him do whatever he wants to you. You’re his.

“Lay down.” He says sternly as he leans back from a kiss. 

“Yes, sir.” You say with a menacing grin. 

Slowly, you laid down on your back and Billy quickly undressed himself. You didn’t have much time before he was on top of you because once you called him sir, it was on. It was like fuel being poured onto a fire. 

You wrapped your legs around Billy as he lay on top of you leaning on his forearms that lay on either side of your head. He begins to give you soft gentle kisses on your mouth. You moan into his kisses and run your fingers through his thick dark hair. 

He begins kissing his way down your neck, down your stomach, and then without warning, he’s eating your wet pussy. You toss your head back in pleasure and grab ahold of the bed sheets for dear life. It doesn’t take you long before you’re cumming in his mouth. Billy knows exactly how to get you off within minutes, which makes him even harder and his cock is aching to fuck you.

He gets up on his knees between your legs and positions his hard cock dripping with precum against your soaked entrance. As he pushes inside you, you let out a loud moan from how good he feels filling you completely. As he fucks you, you scratch red marks and welts into his back. 

“Faster! Ah! Harder Billy!” You scream out as you begin to inch closer and closer to orgasming once more. 

“Fuck baby!” Billy grunts as he thrusts hard and fast into your cunt. 

Billy reaches down and presses his thumb to your clit and begins to rub circles. Almost immediately, you're thrown over the edge. You clench down and cum hard around his cock. 

“Billy!”

“That’s it baby, there’s my good girl.” He says continuing his pace until he cums and fills you up.

After he finishes, he rides out the high for a few more moments before he falls to the bed beside you. He pulls you to his chest and kisses your forehead. You look up at him breathing heavily and smile. 

“I love you Billy.”

“Love you too beautiful.”

[becauseicantthinkwritings]

Never Quite Enough

Part 5

Billy Russo x Reader

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Warnings: Angst, insomnia, more angst.

"Can I confess something to you?" Matt asks.

You look up from your phone in surprise, blinking like a deer caught in headlights. He's dressed in his crisp white shirt and suit pants, his jacket somewhere nearby. 

He looks pristine, but you know you prefer his undressed look even more, the sight of his bare chest was a soothing balm on the open wound that was your life.

You wait patiently for his words.

"I think... he really likes you. Genuinely." 

You let out a long sigh. 

"That sounds like his problem. I am done with him." You say quickly, on a harsh breath.

"Are you?" He challenges, with a calm tone.

You swallow, honestly, you didn't know.

It's been weeks. Nearly a month and a half since you broke up with him, the same amount of time you'd been together. 

Why was climbing out harder than falling in?

Something tugs in your chest, you let out a soft breath. You feel bad for letting one person comfort you for another person's actions.

"Matt." You say his name slowly, looking up at him, the space of his countertop between you.

You swallow.

"I'm sorry." You finally say.

"What for?"

"If I've- lead you on, or made you feel uncomfortable- please just tell me. I'd rather you tell me you're tired of me, than being forced to tolerate me."

He lets out a harsh breath, moves around the counter swiftly.

Before you can process it, your face is buried in his clothed chest.

He smells like the gentle lavender soap he uses, and you're too stunned to do anything other than breathe it in.

"You're not leading me on. I promise, and I'm not just tolerating you. I like you."

A little sob hiccups from your throat, the strength of his adoration pours into you, fills, overflows.

"I've been tolerated my whole life." You say into his chest, tears falling freely, "The first time I felt like I could exist was with him, and even that had been a lie." You grip the back of his shirt, sobbing into his chest.

He shushes you softly, his stubbled cheek pressed to the crown of your head.

His body tightens around you, it makes you feel worse, like you're forcing him to comfort you in some way. You cry harder.

Matt holds you through it, and when your violent shaking turns into little hiccups, he leans down to kiss your forehead, his thumb swiping at one cheek, to push your tears away.

"He's hurt you so badly, and It's up to you to decide whether that damage can be fixed or not. But you need to know that you're not tolerated, you're appreciated. By me...and by him."

"How do you know?" You protest, looking into his unfocused eyes.

"I heard him say it. To his friend, Frank, that day at the gala. I heard him tell Frank that he loves you."

You blink, drawing your head back in shock.

Love?

You sniffle, Matt's words have knocked the sadness right out of you, replacing it with surprise.

 You reach for a tissue sitting on the countertop.

"That can't be right." You hum, wiping at your nose, and dabbing at your cheeks. You'd have to re-do today's makeup before work.

"His actions were awful, and the things he did do not deserve forgiveness. But his feelings now are genuine." Matt says.

Now?

Your shoulders drop.

They hadn't been genuine before?

When he'd offered you one of his shirts to sleep in, on the very first night you'd slept over, the hidden eager look in his eyes... that had been fake?

Of course it was, your mind supplies, you feel like you're sinking lower with each thought.

Like a full tub being emptied, you feel the emotion drain right out of you.

You spend a solid moment like that, in disbelief at the emotion just leaving you, rejecting Matt’s last words without another second of consideration.

You part your lips, finally sucking in a deep breath that doesn’t hurt.

Your mouth parts wider in relief. 

For the first time, you feel true nothingness, and not the numbness of the refusal to process emotion that you were used to.

It's liberating, you close your eyes in bliss.

Somehow, you'd managed to turn your turbulent emotions off.

Like a switch, flipping inside you, centred around your confused feelings. Your brain doesn't know how to feel, so it stops feeling.

You know Matt wasn't the type of man to lie to you, it wasn't even in his nature to stretch the truth. He was a man that could only speak fact, and something said with this much surety could only be true.

But that didn’t mean you were capable of accepting his words. Instead you smile at him, wiping at your tears.

“I should get to work.” You respond, looking up at him with a small smile on your face.

.

The world around you is interesting, when you can’t feel a thing. Nothing matters, at all.

You smile at Dex easily, engaging him in conversation, a past version of you would probably be feeling absolutely hollow inside. Instead, you simply exist, only answering questions when you’re asked, smiling along to small talk.

There’s no sadness, or despair, or hate for yourself.

There’s nothing.

And nothing had to be better than everything all at once...right?

It’s peaceful now, your work gets done much faster, headphones on to help you focus, you feel like pushing yourself to see how much you’re capable of, only stopping for a few short breaks throughout the day.

It feels good, getting things done ahead of time, it makes you feel like you’re being efficient  in a space you’ve only felt desolation for a long while.

You only realise how late it is when the night cleaning crew shows up.

Only then you decide to amble on home, a bowl of ramen in your arms, tucked into your couch in the dark of the night before bed.

You don’t see Matt that night, probably busy at his own job, and you’re okay with that, knowing that you shouldn’t be using him as any type of emotional crutch in the first place.

The problem comes when you try to go to sleep.

You find that you can’t, you don’t feel sleepy. 

You toss and you turn and you sit up and you have tea and press the heels of your hands against your eyes and struggle with being awake when you should be asleep.

You have nothing to help you sleep, so you curl up in bed and close your eyes and pretend that you’re asleep until morning when your alarm goes off for work.

Silence and nothingness are your associates now, and however inconvenient, you prefer it to whatever was there before.

He loves you, your mind tries to interject during your morning routine, and you stop comically while brushing your teeth to stare dead ahead at yourself in the mirror.

Love… I barely know what that is, you answer.

You resume brushing your teeth.

You’re acutely aware that at some point, you’re probably going to crash. People aren’t made to be awake for long periods of time and feel this fine about it.

Being at work is pretty okay, and you don’t feel like ripping your hair out at the first inconvenience. 

It’s your second day of working late, and you’re dealing with it well. You’ve put your phone on do not disturb and with your headphones in, you’re lost in your own world of report reading and analysis.

Really, you should have known that letting your guard drop would tempt fate too much. The fickle way life tended to work around you should have had your walls up permanently.

But in your exhausted state, leaning against the wall gripping your bag with one hand while waiting for the elevator, it was hard to keep any sort of defense up.

So when someone says your name in mild surprise, the only response you can give is a raise of your head.

He looks as exhausted as you feel, and you wonder if he sees something similar in you. His jacket folded neatly over one arm, phone in his palm.

“Hey Mister Russo.” You say softly in greeting, straightening to take a step into the elevator.

He doesn’t say anything for a second as the doors close.

“It’s late.” He comments, and you turn your head to glance at him.

“Yes it is.” You agree, unable to stay steady on your feet, you lean against the wall of the elevator too.

“You look tired.”

You let out a slow breath.

“I’ll live.” You answer.

“We should talk.”

You groan, tilting your head back.

“You’re making me wish I’d taken another elevator.” 

“Let me drive you home.” He answers as if you hadn’t just expressed your distaste for him.

You raise your head to look at him angrily.

There were so many things you wanted to say. Leave me alone. Take a hike. I don’t want to talk to you. I’d rather chew nails that get into a car with you. Why are you looking at me like that? Do you love me?

In the end, you say nothing, and the doors to the elevators slide open, and you step out without even a goodbye.

The lobby is quiet, dimly lit, very much somber and lacking the life that there usually is during the daylight.

You only get a few steps out of the elevator before he’s blocking your path with his tall frame.

You huff, looking up at him, willing him to go away.

“Can we please talk? Please?”

You were so irritated with having to experience him and his constant persistence of you. You blink, angrily clenching your teeth together.

“Why? Why should I even give you a chance, Billy? So you can lie to me more? Hurt me more? What’s it going to take for you to realise that we’re over?”

He lets out a sharp breath.

“We have something. You know we do. There’s a voice inside you that tells you we’re right for each other. I hear it too.”

“You’re wrong,” You answer softly, “There’s no voice.”

He shakes his head.

“Don’t lie, don’t act like-” He cuts off, letting out a slow breath.

“Like what?” You prod.

“-Like you don’t care!” He hisses, “Stop acting like this was nothing.” He says, gesturing to the space between you.

“This was nothing.” You clarify.

He looks frustrated, all you can do is observe him with a casual tilt of your head.

“What you did was unforgivable. What could you possibly want from me now?” You follow up, after he’s unable to speak.

“Another chance.” He utters.

You raise your eyebrows.

“To do what?” You felt like you had to break this down for him like a child.

“To prove to you that my feelings were real,” He takes a step forward, getting closer to you and forcing you to tilt your head up to keep looking at him.

“To show you that I think you’re the best person on the planet. That we have something,” Billy’s hands raise to cup your face, his eyes dark, a void pulling you in, “worth fighting for.”

He leans in, and it only just registers in your tired brain that he’s going to kiss you.

“I have a boyfriend.” You whisper out in a rush in an effort to deter him.

His only response is a small smile.

“Break up with him.” he answers simply as his mouth meets your in a soft kiss.

It melts you, like it usually does. His bearded face creating tingles as it scratches against yours and for a moment you feel so whole.

And then you’re pushing him away, because you don’t deserve this, because you are not someone you believe is worth fighting for.

“I’m sorry.” You murmur, unable to meet his eyes, “I just don’t believe in us the way you do.” You step to the side, and dodge his hand when he tries to grab your wrist.

He calls your name behind you as you leave, the sound is soft, pleading.

You don’t look back.

.

When he touches his lips, he can still feel you there.

Like you own his mouth, and now every kiss is yours, and every smile is for you.

He needs you, so badly that it hurts him.

There’s also a sober part of him that wishes he had the capacity to leave you alone, let you heal from him, leave him behind and move on with your life. But the selfish part of him, the part that fought for scraps in a house of too many people, that part of him clings to the love he has. 

In many ways he’s still a child, he acknowledges, always quietly hoping that someone could want him, listen to him, talk to him about every useless topic on the planet.

He’d found that in you. Someone to listen to him, not just give a vacant smile when he spoke, or roll their eyes, exhausted at his small, unpracticed attempts at conversation. 

He loved the little niche tidbits of information you knew, he was always learning something exciting, or something that made you light up when you spoke.

And then he’d- done that.

The little boy that never had anything, sabotaging his one chance at love because somewhere deep down inside, he didn’t know if he was really capable of it. Maybe he wasn’t. He’d never had it aimed in his direction really.

Who had loved him? Ever in his life? 

Frank was the closest thing he had to a brother, Billy had no doubt that the Castles loved him. 

And it was good, but it wasn’t enough. 

Now more than ever he knew that, lying awake, fingers pressed to his mouth where he could still feel the softness of your lips. He knew what being enough to someone had felt like.

He knew he’d do anything to have that again.

.

You can’t sleep at all.

It’s way worse than before.

Things had been okay when you couldn’t feel anything, but one kiss had brought it all back. Now, you were just sad all over again. 

Each time you kissed him, pulled you together, and each time you left him behind, you shattered even more.

Like glass that had been broken once, being hammered into splinters. You didn’t know how much of yourself had been damaged, beyond hope of repair already.

And yet still, you couldn’t forget him.

The soft heat of his touch, the sound of his breaths. You spend the entire night thinking about him, and wishing you could think about something, anything else.

.

There’s a box waiting on your desk when you get in the next morning.

It fits in your palm, wrapped in blue floral gift paper with a black bow on top. It screams Billy.

“That from Matt?” Dex asks, as he’s walking by and observes your handling of the gift.

“Probably.” You lie, tugging at the bow.

“Hope it’s something nice.” He wishes as he steps away, going back to whatever he was doing.

His wrapping is precise, no fold is haphazard, the bow sits right in the middle, perfectly equidistant from all edges.

It pulls a smile to your face. You almost don’t want to open it, the effort put into wrapping is a gift in itself.

You doubt Billy had given many gifts in his life- or even gotten them. He’d only mentioned it once that he didn’t have parents, and that he grew up in the system. You’d wanted to ask about it, but you’d never gotten a real chance.

You wanted to know how many gifts he'd gotten, how many happy birthdays.

You shouldn't care, it shouldn't matter to you, but it did.

You take the wrapping off carefully, wanting to preserve every bit of this, something that could be remembered later, savoured when you needed something to think of in the darkness of the night.

You tug the lid off the box quickly, eyes locking onto the shimmering gold in the box.

Your mouth parts in surprise.

It’s a simple present, butterfly hair clips in a gold colour. Each wing of the shiny butterfly is attached to the clip with a few small springs, it means that every slight movement makes the wings appear as though they’re fluttering.

All of a sudden, you’re a little girl again, staring at similar clips in someone else’s hair. You gulp, looking around for a note, an explanation as to why.

You’d only asked your parents once for them, and then never again.

His note is lodged beneath the lid of the box, and you take your time prying it out, opening it.

‘Saw these and thought of you.

-Billy

x.'

You blink back tears, looking at the delicate clips once more.

You don’t take them out of the box, despite how badly you want to. You settle for just running a careful finger over the fluttering wings, a quiet appreciation of something you’d forgotten you wanted.

The clips are so shiny that they were bound to catch attention, which was the last thing you wanted here. Maybe later, after everyone was gone, you could indulge yourself in trying them on.

It was a brilliant gift, something small and seemingly unimportant, and yet, an item that he hadn’t known you’d desired from the moment you first saw them.

Warm, something trickling into the very depths of you, a feeling you want, a feeling you yearn for. 

You reach for your phone, with calling him in mind, his extension seared to your memory and you just want to talk to him-

You slam the phone down just as fast. A few coworkers looking over at you in your peripherals.

Dread spills over inside of you, a paralysing fear that you were playing directly into his game, that this was a ploy, or even if it wasn’t, you couldn’t just go back to normal with him. He’d done something unforgivable, and you had to be rigid in your inability to absolve him of his actions.

He’d made a bet, with his friends, to see if he was capable of being in an exhausting relationship with you, because everyone thinks that you were annoying.

Because he thought that you were annoying.

You tuck his gift into the top drawer of your desk, letting the pain of his betrayal reorient you.

Billy Russo did not like you.

.

“Shit.” You curse, glancing at the time on your phone. You’d been so zoned into your computer that you hadn’t even noticed that the work day had been officially over for a while now. 

You sigh, leaning back, opening your top drawer to grab a page marker for the document you just sent to print. 

You spot the little gift box tucked into the back of the drawer and you can’t help the smile that pulls onto your face.

You drop everything you’re doing, reaching for the box happily. 

You take your time, pinning one clip to either side of your head to pull some of your hair back, opening your front camera to admire the little fluttering clips.

You loved the little things, delicate in your hair, glittering with the movement and the lights and you make a mental note to avoid the possibility of getting it tangled in your hair as best as possible.

You get distracted by the sound of the printer beeping in the distance to signal your print was completed and you get up to grab the file. 

A few hours later, you hear the elevator nearby make a small sound as it stops on your floor. You look up, alert and the awareness of how late it is makes you a little scared.

It’s him that rounds the corner, crisp suit, his jacket tucked under his arm. He pauses when he notices you, your eyes meeting, before a little smile pulls onto his face.

“I figured you’d be here.” He hums, approaching you.

You huff, glancing back at your computer screen.

“You just can’t seem to leave me alone, can you?” You bite back.

When he’s quiet for too long, standing beside you, you turn to look up at him.

There’s a strange expression on his face, something that washes the coldness inside of you away with gentle warmth.

“What?” You ask, trying to keep your voice harsh.

Why are you looking at me like that?

“You’re real fuckin’ pretty.” He answers.

You make a sound of annoyance, turning back to your computer to continue working on your excel sheet.

Do you love me?

Your fingers freeze on your keyboard when he kneels in your peripherals next to you.

What in God’s name was he doing?

You let out a harsh breath.

“Billy-”

His hand reaches to touch something in your hair, it’s only then you remember that you’re wearing the clips he gave you.

“-These look so much better on you than I’d imagined.” He whispers, turning a strand of your hair over between his fingers.

You look down, unable to meet his eyes.

“I’ve always wanted them, since I was little. My parents fought a lot, and I could never work up the courage to ask for them. Then, when I got older, I could never find them.” You glance up at him for a moment before looking away, “Thank you, I love them, but that doesn’t change anything between us.”

His eyebrows pull together sadly, a reflectiveness to his eyes that wasn’t there before.

Do you love me?

“You should go home, it’s late.”

You give him a tired smile.

“Yeah, I know, I just have a little bit more to do.”

“Do it tomorrow. You shouldn’t be here so late.”

“I don’t know why you’re complaining,” You mutter absentmindedly, “I’m making you money.”

He grips your chair, turning it quickly away from your computer until you face him.

You meet his gaze with an annoyed look of your own.

“I have enough money.” He answers with a teasing expression. The corner of your lip twitches in amusement.

“Whatever.” You say, trying to turn your chair back to your computer, but he only grips it tighter to keep you in place. His eyes dart to your desk, and then he reaches for something, grabbing it off your desk and moving away quickly.

When you look back at your desk you notice your wireless mouse is missing.

“Hey!” You stand, taking a few steps toward him. He mirrors your movement, taking a few steps back as well.

“Give that back, Russo.” You warn, approaching him again, this time he doesn’t move, encouraging you to try getting closer to him again.

When you’re within grabbing range, he grins, hiding his hands behind his back.

“Shut down your computer and go home.” He tries again.

“Or what?” You challenge, reaching around to grab at his hands. He shifts the mouse from his left to his right hand quickly, forcing you to get even closer to him, to try grabbing it.

“Or I throw this thing out the window and unplug your computer.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” You argue, gripping his fist in yours and trying to pry his fingers open.

He pulls his hand away from you easily, giving you an evil grin before raising his fist with your mouse above his head where you couldn’t possibly reach on your own.

You don’t even try to jump for it, only crossing your arms and looking up at him.

“I could knee you in the balls. I’d get it really quickly that way.” You threaten.

He tips his head back and laughs, and you find yourself smiling too. You take the chance, using the distraction to jump and grab his fist. 

But your attempt seemed to be exactly what he wanted because in the next moment his hand is on your waist, using your own momentum against you to spin you, switching positions so that he can press you against the wall that was just behind him.

You gasp, looking up at him in bewilderment. His scent floods your nose, reigniting an ache inside of you, one that yearned for him.

He watches you carefully, doesn’t do anything more than uncurl his fingers, so that you can get the mouse sitting in the palm of his hand.

You look at the mouse, and then back into his eyes, letting out a slow sigh, wishing for something you can’t quite put your finger on.

“Thank you.” You say, taking the mouse from him, and ducking under his arm to slip out from between his body and the wall. 

Sitting at your desk once again, you groan in annoyance as he grabs a chair from a nearby desk and sits himself near you.

“What now?” You ask, barely looking at him.

“I’m not leaving till you do.” He answers simply.

"For a CEO, you seem really bad at getting the message." You grunt out.

He sighs, leaning forward to prop his elbow onto your desk, and then after a moment, he rests his face in his hand, looking at you calmly.

"I'm sorry." He says softly.

"So I've heard." You answer, deciding to save your work before he actually unplug your computer.

"Have you been sleeping?" Billy asks on another soft breath.

"Yes." You lie.

"You haven't. It's why you're here so late. Because you go home, and you lie awake, staring at the ceiling." He says, and you get the feeling that he isn't only talking about you.

"Can you blame me?" You snipe, trying to focus on your screen so that you can pretend that this conversation isn't happening.

There's a long silence before he speaks again.

"I hate myself."

Your chest squeezes harshly, brain halting any thoughts of work. You stare at the computer screen, feeling pressure build behind your eyes.

You wipe an unsteady hand over your mouth for comfort.

"Yeah well, that makes both of us." You reply shakily.

"I've always kind of hated myself," he continues, and you peek a look over at him to find that he's shifted, his hands in his lap, bending a paperclip out of shape while he speaks, "Even when I was a kid, I told myself that there must be something very wrong with me for my mom to not want me."

You take a deep breath, listening to him, finally hearing him open up about himself for the first time.

"I almost got adopted once, interview with a family had gone well, they let me move in with them for a trial period. I almost had what I wanted most, and then-" He gives a shake of his head, to knock the memory loose and you want so badly to reach over and take his hand, to stop him from worrying the paperclip out of shape, only to try to reshape it again, "-I punched their son in the face for something so dumb I can barely remember it. They dropped me back the next morning without a goodbye."

You watch in your peripherals as he puts the paperclip back into shape, except it doesn't look quite right, a little misshapen after his touch.

"My therapist says I've always had a penchant for self sabotage. Always worried that something good will be taken away, so I ruin it, so that at least it's ruined on my terms." He grins, "What a nutjob."

"You? Or your therapist?" You ask.

He huffs out a surprised laugh, looking up at you for a second, watching you return his laugh with a wry smile of your own, before glancing away.

Do you love me, Billy Russo?

"Sorry. I don't mean to force your forgiveness with a shitty story of growing up in the system. I just- well- I was hoping it would help you… understand me a little more."

“Don’t apologize. I get it. We’re all just trying to heal from something.”

“What are you trying to heal from? Besides me?”

You turn away, unsure if you want to tell him, unsure if you can speak for so long without shutting down.

You rub your knuckles against your lips absentmindedly.

“It’s stupid.” You whisper.

“It’s not. I promise.”

You feel anxiety flutter in your stomach.

“I’ve always felt like I was too much. Too loud, too clingy, too unattractive. Like if I was just tolerated, everywhere I went. I made friends, and then after a while, they’d leave, without explanation and with the number of times it happened, I kept thinking to myself that it had to be my fault.”

You try to swallow the lump in your throat.

“It’s the only logical explanation, that I’m okay to befriend and talk to a little, but I’m not enough to maintain a friendship with. I’m not enough to be held on to.”

Why weren’t you enough?

You stop talking now, taking a deep breath and holding it to fight off your tears.

He reaches for your hand, and you let him, you can feel the paperclip pressed between your hands.

“I see how badly I fucked up now.” He says softly to you, “And I want you to know that every inch of you is worth fighting for, and I fully intend to show you that.”

You close your eyes, shaking your head with a sad smile.

“Billy-”

“-no buts, you’re about to see some of the most desperate grovelling of your life.”

You laugh in disbelief.

“You’re insane, Russo.”

“Yeah. Don’t tell my therapist.”

.

He wants to hold you so badly. Wrap his arms around you, and feel you lean against him.

In the elevator now, he keeps glancing at you, his eyes drawn to the little fluttering clips in your hair and his heart clenches so tightly in his chest that he swears it stops beating.

“Let me drive you home.” He offers, hoping that you’d let him, instead of taking a taxi at this hour of the night. 

He watches the clips flutter more as you shake your head, a smile pulling onto his face at how adorable you look.

“We’re not there yet, Russo.” You respond.

Yet? He thinks hopefully.

.

.

.

[billyrussohaven]

Into My Web

Chapter 22

Dark!Vampire!Billy Russo x Female Reader

Cowritten with @the-cult-of-russo

Ratings: Explicit 18+ ONLY

Warnings: Although this chapter might not include it, this fic will include; Sexual situations, swearing, human slave, biting, blood, murder, obsessive thoughts, dub con, Stockholm syndrome, gaslighting.

A/N: Final chapter! We hope you've enjoyed this story as much as we did writing it! 😘❤️

The house was silent as you made your way back upstairs to the bedroom. The only sounds to comfort you were the wooden floor creaking under your bare feet and your sniffles. You went after him when he had left, when he ran away from you for the second time since he took you home months ago. Only this time it wasn't to save you from him, it was to save himself from you.

Your heart had dropped when you didn't find him anywhere, when you saw the empty driveway outside. You had cleaned up downstairs for him, leaving no trace of the evening ever happening, hoping it’d please him when he’d come back home, if he ever was coming back. The thought of him abandoning you was raw and excruciating.

You picked up the dress on the floor, your chest squeezing painfully at the fresh memory of you two dancing downstairs earlier, how wonderful it had felt, being in his arms that way. You put it away in the closet inside its fancy garment bag. You went through your bedtime routine on autopilot and hesitated, looking at the empty bed where he had left you. You could still see him looking back at you in horror, how you made him flee from his own bed, how you had been the one to fuck everthing up.

The pain was so deep, it made it hard to breathe. Anything would be better than this, this feeling, this hole inside you. You picked your pillow off the bed and walked to the closet without thinking, shutting the door behind you, locking yourself into it on purpose. You felt the usual panic kick in, the walls closing in on you from all sides. But you focused on it this time, wanting to feel anything else than your painful heartbreak. You put the pillow on the floor, picking one of his jackets in the dark to cover your shaking body now in a tight ball on the wooden floor.

You deserved this, the panic, the pain. He’d be pleased to find you here, punished without having to lift a finger. You broke down, unable to hold the panic at bay anymore. Your chest was racking with loud sobs and hyperventilated until your vision blurred, until you finally passed out and darkness took over.

By the time Billy got home, his head was still a jumbled mess. He'd come up with a solution to the problem but it didn't soothe him at all. When he stepped inside, he listened out for your heartbeat, feeling his body relax somewhat when he heard it. It was steady, you were asleep. He trudged up the stairs, his feet feeling heavy as he followed the sound of your heart. He wondered just how you reacted when he left. He couldn't imagine you'd been happy about it. When he got to his room, he frowned when he didn't see you in the bed like he expected. No, you weren't in bed. Because your heartbeat led him to the closet. He blinked at it, confused why you'd be asleep in there. You hated the closet, he'd used it as a torture chamber for you for months. He didn't understand why you'd voluntarily be in there.

He opened the door slowly, his frown deepening when he saw you curled up asleep on the floor. He could smell the salt still lingering on your cheeks from your tears. Apparently he'd made you cry by leaving the way he did. An odd and uncomfortable feeling hit his chest and it felt a lot like guilt. He loathed it. He crouched down in front of you, shaking your shoulder a little.

"Get up," he muttered, anger still boiling away inside of him from the god awful night he'd had. And now he was annoyed that you'd put yourself in the closet and he felt bad about it. He wasn't the one that put you in here yet he felt guilty anyway. And this was exactly why this wouldn't work anymore. Now he knew he felt something, it changed everything. He felt vile things like guilt over stupid shit and he didn't like it one bit. There was no way the situation could carry on as it had been. It was all ruined.

You looked up at his dark silhouette towering over you, the bedroom light behind him obscuring his features. You got up to your feet as he ordered you but you were unable to meet his eyes. He seemed furious at you still, agitated and it made you skittish. You wanted to say something to him but you couldn’t find your voice so you stayed silent, looking down and waited.

He blew out a sigh at how you were acting, his head a swirl of too many things to pinpoint. The alcohol also wasn't helping. He put his fingers under your chin and tilted your face up to his. He looked at you for a moment, hating how the uncomfortable feeling in his chest got worse.

"Why are you in the closet?" He asked softly, dark eyes boring into you.

You opened your mouth a few times, not sure how to answer him or what to tell him.

“I...I upset you. I made you leave your own bed and ruined the evening you had planned for us,” you said, swallowing thickly when you heard your voice wavering.

“I couldn’t bear the thought of failing you, of upsetting you. So, I punished myself, knowing very well that was all I deserved for it,” you added, your fingers playing with the hem of his shirt nervously.

The uncomfortable feeling turned into something more painful and he frowned before wrapping his arms around you. One of his large hands cradled the back of your head to his chest as he breathed in your scent and let it wash over him.

"It's fine. Let's just… forget about it, alright?" He asked with a sigh. He was done talking about it, all it did was remind him of the shitty situation he'd been put in.

“Okay,” you whispered, feeling better at being in his arms again. Yet there was an odd feeling at the nape of your neck, something instinctual nagging at you. You ignored it and pressed yourself closer to his body, focusing on him instead.

He moved away, cupping your cheeks as his eyes scanned your face, memorising every inch of it. You really were the most beautiful person he'd ever laid his eyes on. He tried to ignore the dull ache in his chest as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, lips lingering for a moment.

"C'mon," he said quietly, leading you out of the closet. He let your hand go once in the room and toed off his shoes as he started to undress. He felt exhausted. Confused, conflicted and that goddamn guilt was still eating at him. Like heavy chains wrapped tightly around him as they squeezed the life out of him.

You picked your pillow and moved into the bed, already naked since you didn't bother with clothes earlier. You looked at him as he undressed, your heart squeezing tightly at how handsome and perfect he was. You laid down on your side of the bed facing him and gave him a weak smile.

Once he was stripped down, he moved to climb into bed. He lay on his side facing you, tucking some of your hair behind your ear and letting his fingers trail down the side of your face.

"You're my favorite person, you know that?" He asked softly, allowing himself to be soft in the moment. It was confusing, being this angry yet feeling so gentle at the same time. He couldn't help it now he was here with you. He allowed himself to have a moment of raw honesty because it wasn't like it mattered now anyway.

You felt your heart stop and skip a beat, it made you gasp. His words washed over you, making you smile a little wider. You didn’t trust your voice so you nodded, scooting closer to him, needing to be in his arms, safe.

He moved your face to his as he kissed you, soft at first before he deepened it. He savored the taste of your lips against his. Kissing you was something he really enjoyed, he could do it for hours. He'd question why his chest was burning so fiercely but he knew why. He was trying desperately to ignore it but it felt like his unbeating heart was being ripped right out of his chest.

Your body moved with the kiss, one hand buried in his hair as you kissed him back with all the love you had for him. You broke the kiss, gasping for air at the intensity of it. You looked up into his dark eyes, tried to read his thoughts for a second before kissing him again languidly. You slid on top of him, your legs straddling him, your lips never leaving his.

He groaned at feeling the weight of your body on his and his hands grasped your hips tightly. He kissed you hungrily as his fingers bit into your hips, arching up at you greedily. His more primal instincts were kicking in and his body was responding to you eagerly.

You reached down between your legs to fist him, rubbing the head of his cock on your folds and making him moan softly. His moan was music to your ears, knowing you were the one causing them. You needed him and wanted him now, no teasing, just him. You moved his dick to your entrance and slid onto him, drinking in his dirty groan.

He loved how you felt all tight and wet around him like this. His hands wandered your body as he arched up into you, letting the pleasure make his mind go blissfully blank. It was relieving for the quiet after all the noise.

You rode him deep and slow, enjoying how he felt inside you and hit all the right spots. You leaned down, resting your head on his forehead, running your hand in his hair. It hurt, your heart was painfully reminding you of the earlier rejection but you ignored it. You had him now, that was all you wanted to focus on.

It felt way more intense than usual and he moaned against your lips as he soaked in how good it felt with you fucking yourself on his cock. One of his hands moved to the back of your neck, his body moving against yours.

"You're so perfect," he murmured with a moan, the pleasure making his head fuzzier than the alcohol did.

You gasped, riding him harder to make up for the painful stabbing at your chest, you turned your head, closing your eyes tightly. You weren’t gonna cry, he was here, he came back for you. Your lips crashed down to his, desire taking over your brain and body.

“Yours,” you said quickly between kisses and pants.

Your words hit him hard and he almost came right away. He growled, wrapping his arms around you before rolling you both over. He pushed deeper inside of you with a dirty moan, his body over yours as he kissed you desperately. The pleasure was getting higher and higher and he was aware his eyes had changed. He was firmly keeping his fangs away though as he kissed you. The beast inside of him was clawing to get out and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold it off for too long, but he wanted to savor you first.

“Oh, Billy,” you moaned, feeling your climax build up fast at the new position. You couldn’t stop kissing him, your hands running all over his chest, his neck, his perfect face. You let a small whimper, feeling just on the edge of your orgasm, ready to fall apart any moment now.

He broke the kiss and trailed kisses down your cheek to your ear as he rut into you like an animal. He was struggling to hold back.

"Cum for me, kitten," he demanded roughly, his lips moving to your neck as he nipped and sucked on it. The sound of your fast heart beat and the feel of your pulse against his tongue had his mouth watering and his dick twitching inside of you.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, one hand tugging at his hair as the world fell down around you. You came hard and loud, holding on to him like a lifeline. A single tear ran down your temple to hide in your hair at the pleasure.

Feeling you tighten around him like that had him moaning and gasping and it was hard for him to stop himself coming with you. He kissed his way back up to your ear and even though the pleasure was intense, the burning in his chest suddenly got worse.

"You deserve better than me, Y/N," he muttered, not giving you a chance to respond as he let his fang descend and he sunk them into your neck. The first sip of your blood tasted like heaven and he moaned, his pleasure increasing tenfold as he came instantly and spilled himself inside of you.

Your entire body tensed up, feeling the stabbing and burning pain of his fangs ripping their way into your neck. You tried pushing him off you even though you knew he wouldn’t budge an inch. All rational thoughts went out the window as the instinctual primal urge to flee kicked in.

“Billy? Billy! Stop. Billy!” You panicked, trying to snap him out of it.

A feral growl tore from his throat at you fighting back. He snatched your wrists, fangs not leaving your neck, as he pinned them roughly above your head using his vampire strength. Soft Billy was gone now, the beast was out and in full control. Your blood was like nothing he'd ever tasted before and he couldn't get enough of it. He drank from you greedily, his high from you mixing with the high from your blood. It was euphoric.

“Billy! Please stop, please stop! Don’t kill me, please,” you sobbed kicking and clawing at him. You let out a terrified scream, everything started to spin in slow motion as he slowly killed you. You used the last of your strength to bite him out of it, your dull teeth sinking in his shoulder so hard you tasted blood. You fought for your life, begged him to stop until your body failed you. You fell back onto the mattress, into the arms of death, whispering his name one last time.

He didn't notice, the pain not even registering to him as he savored every drop of your blood. There was no guilt now, no feelings at all. His animalistic nature was at its peak and he was more beast than man. He could hear your heartbeat getting weaker and weaker as he continued to drain the life right out of you. The moment your heart stopped, something snapped in him as he moved away with a gasp. He didn't feel the euphoria anymore as he looked down at your pale and lifeless face. He blinked at you slowly, the burning in his chest feeling like someone stuffed a grenade into his chest, letting it go off. He tried to tell himself this was the only option but he couldn't stop the feeling of utter devastation that hit him like a train. He'd killed you. You were gone. He'd never be able to hear your sweet voice again, to hear your laugh or see how your face would light up with wonder as he showed you something you'd never seen before. He'd never be able to hold you in his arms or kiss your lips. You were just gone. Just another victim like all the others.

He growled, feeling his eyes prick with tears as he jumped off the bed, running a hand through his hair as he glared at your dead body. He hated you for driving him to do this. He hated the grief that settled over him like a sheet of ice and how the pain seemed to ricochet through his entire body. He'd never regret killing anyone and his body count was too high to even remember. Yet right now as he looked at you, all he felt was regret and he was drowning in it. But it was better this way. This was the only option.

[stvrlightgirl]

Heal me.

pairing: Billy Russo x F!reader

warnings: none

wc: 1k

summary: Your first relationship was toxic, and your ex made sure you wouldn’t forget it. But little did he know, Billy would be the only man who could heal you.

When you told Billy you didn’t really get to experience a true relationship, his heart broke a little. The way your eyes had dropped to the floor, as if ashamed of the past you had no control over, made his chest tighten with an unfamiliar ache. Billy was used to seeing pain — he'd caused plenty of it himself — but something about the idea of you, his sweetheart, never knowing what real love felt like was unbearable.

He reached out, lifting your chin with a gentle finger, his dark eyes softening as they always do when he looked at you. "Doll, you deserve so much more than what you've been given. I promise I’m gonna show you what it's supposed to be like, yeah?”

You nodded, uncertainty flickering in your gaze, but there was also a glimmer of hope that hadn't been there before. Billy smiled, his thumb brushing your cheek with a tenderness that made your heart flutter.

---

The next few weeks were a learning curve for both of you. Billy, who had always been confident in his relationships — however short-lived they might have been — found himself slowing down, being more mindful and patient. He wanted you to know, to feel that this was different. That he was different.

It started with the small things. He noticed how you would hesitate to reach for his hand in public, your fingers twitching with the desire to make contact but pulling back as if unsure. So, he took the initiative, gently intertwining his fingers with yours whenever you walked beside each other, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze.

"You don't have to ask for this, doll," he'd whisper, leaning close so only you could hear. "You can take my hand anytime you want."

And when you finally did—one evening as the two of you walked along the river, your fingers slowly sliding into his on your own accord—the smile that lit up his face was brighter than any city skyline.

Then there were the nights you spent together. You'd told him how your ex would use silence as a weapon, how the absence of words would leave you feeling alone even when you weren’t. Billy hated that. He hated the person who did this to you so much, that he wanted to kill them. So, he made sure to fill the quiet with his voice, speaking to you in soft tones, telling you stories from his childhood, asking about your day, and even sharing silly little thoughts just to make you laugh.

One night, as you lay curled up against him with his arm draped over your waist, you asked him, your voice barely above a whisper, "Billy, why are you so good to me?"

He looked down at you, his expression one of genuine surprise. "You're everything to me. Why wouldn't I be good to you?"

You bit your lip, still not entirely convinced. "I just… I’ve never had this before. I don’t know if I deserve it."

That broke his heart all over again. He shifted, turning you to face him, his thumb tracing the outline of your jaw. "You deserve this and more, doll. You deserve everything that’s good in this world. Don’t ever doubt that. No more of that toxic shit, okay? Just us, taking care of each other."

You nodded, eyes misting with unshed tears. The way he looked at you, like you were precious, like you mattered—it was almost too much. But you let yourself believe him, just a little bit more every day.

---

As the months passed, you began to see the truth in Billy's words. He was patient with you, even when your insecurities tried to rear their ugly heads. If you ever hesitated or pulled back, he was there with a soft smile and a gentle touch, guiding you through the unfamiliar terrain of a healthy relationship.

One night, after a particularly tiring day at work, you came home to find Billy in the kitchen, cooking dinner. The smell of garlic and herbs filled the air, and the sight of him—hair slightly tousled, sleeves of his white shirt rolled up, focused entirely on making something for you—brought tears to your eyes. And you realised that he came from work, probably worn out after training his men all day and still, he stood in the kitchen making you food. You had never known this kind of care before, never known what it felt like to come home to someone who genuinely wanted to take care of you.

"Billy…" you started, your voice wavering.

He turned, concern immediately washing over his features as he saw the tears brimming in your eyes. He wiped his hands on a towel, coming over to you in quick strides. "Hey, what's wrong sweet girl? Did something happen?"

You shook your head, laughing softly even as a tear escaped and slid down your cheek. "No, nothing's wrong. It's just…You. Never had someone who… who wanted to take care of me like this."

Billy’s expression softened as he gently cupped your face in his hands, brushing away the hot tears with his thumb. "You're my baby. Of course, I wanna take care of you. That’s what love is, isn’t it? Being there for each other, making sure the other person is okay. That’s how it’s supposed to be.” He smiled, a small wrinkles forming around his eyes.

You leaned into his touch, feeling a warmth spread through your chest that you were slowly beginning to recognize as love. "I think I'm starting to understand that now." You murmur.

He smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Good. Because you deserve to be loved like this. And I’m gonna make sure you never forget that."

And as he pulled you into a warm embrace, holding you close, you realized that you were finally starting to believe it. Billy had shown you what real love was supposed to be—patient, kind, and full of understanding. He was helping you heal, helping you learn that you were worth all the love he had to give.

And for the first time in a long time, you felt like you were exactly where you belonged.

[xerosah]

I mean this isn’t even normal anymore. How can a man look like THIS!? 😩

[hungermakesmonsters]

(Once Bitten) Twice Shy

Chapter Four

Plot summary : Desperate to get away from your controlling family, you take a job in New York as a wealthy vampire's blood source. A million dollars awaits if you can make it through a year, but life with Billy Russo is not going to be as simple as you think.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R  Chapter Rating : PG

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Nothing of note this chapter, except a moment of sickeningly awkward cuteness (I'm so sorry). All chapters will contain mentions of blood. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story. 

Word Count : 4.8k

A/N : The aftermath of last chapter. Tumblr is still only letting me tag five people at a time, so tags will be in comments again.

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO | CHAPTER THREE

Chapter Four

You woke to find yourself on the sofa, covered with a blanket, alone and with only a vague recollection of what had happened the night before. Your hand had been bandaged and you felt worse than ever. The room was spinning, your head pounding, and finally you understood why; blood loss. You’d drawn blood and, then, you’d let him drink from you; it had been too much and you’d lost consciousness.

It took a moment more for you to remember everything else that had happened; how he’d pressed his body to yours, how he’d kissed you, and how you’d - oh god, your boss had made you come. 

Panic washed over you for a second, your hand reaching between your thighs, terrified that something had happened after you passed out. No. You breathed a sigh of relief and found yourself feeling silly for even thinking that Billy would do something like that. From what little you knew of him, you didn’t think he was capable of that.

Despite being completely alone, you pulled the blanket up, hiding your face and your embarrassment. You closed your eyes and all you could see was his face, blood covered lips and dark eyes filled with hunger - and not just hunger for blood.

You remembered his lips on your neck, the scrape of teeth - fangs - as you came. Gingerly, you ran your fingers over your skin, searching for puncture marks but, thankfully, found none. 

As much as you wanted to move, to go back to your bedroom, you were too exhausted and, soon enough, you ended up falling asleep again. 

Hours must have passed and you certainly felt better for it when you finally opened your eyes again.

At some point a bottle of water and a note had been left on the floor next to the sofa, though you couldn’t say if they’d been there the whole time or if he’d placed them there after you’d fallen asleep again.

You decided to start with the water, taking a slow drink to steady your nerves before reading the note. It was impossible to stop your mind from going into overdrive, from thinking of all the things that the note might contain; was he going to fire you for your unprofessional behaviour, was he angry that you broke the rule about being in the penthouse after 9pm?

Your fingers shook as you unfolded the note and started to read.

I want to apologise for my behaviour last night, it was unacceptable and I understand if you want to terminate your contract because of it. If you want to leave, please let Lissa know and she will retrieve your things from storage. If you choose to stay, you will have the next couple of days to yourself to recover. I’ll be gone until Friday and won’t need blood before then. 

Whatever you decide, I’ve arranged for my friend Karen to visit you tomorrow and, if you still want to, you have permission to go out with her for the day. If you want to leave, she will help you with whatever you need to do so. Please take care of yourself.

Billy.

You read and reread the note, trying to figure out what he wanted from you. The note felt so detached, almost like he was assuming you’d want to leave. 

(Did you? Was that really what you wanted?)

You read it again before sitting up, noticing the dried blood on your pyjamas. Common sense told you to leave, to get your things and get out of there as quickly as possible. Last night had been stupid and reckless, you’d done the one thing you’d promised yourself you’d never do; you’d let a vampire drink directly from you.

Okay, so he hadn’t bitten you, but what was to say that next time he wouldn’t? But, by the same logic, what was to say that he would? He could have done anything he wanted to you, but he hadn’t. And what he had done you’d allowed. No, you’d been an active participant. You’d enjoyed it. (Who were you trying to kid? You’d wanted it.) He’d told you to stay away and you’d ignored him. It had been your choice to feed him, your choice to let him kiss you, even though you knew he wasn’t in his right mind.

Embarrassed as you were, some part of you had wanted what had happened last night and, now, you had to live with the consequences. 

You read the note one last time. Please take care of yourself, you weren’t sure if those five little words made it better or worse. He always seemed so concerned with how fragile you were, and you still weren’t sure if it came from a place of caring or of liability, but it felt like he was staying away from his own home because of you.

No, you quickly decided, you didn’t want to leave. You couldn’t. You needed the money and last night was as much your fault as Billy’s. 

Staying was still far better than the alternative.

Eventually you managed to get up and move to your rooms, grabbing yourself a bowl of cereal on the way to bed. You put the TV on, but more for background noise than anything and spent the rest of the day dozing, only getting up to get more cereal.

Instead of thinking about what had happened, you started thinking about tomorrow, about finally being able to go outside and see some of New York City. What would his friend Karen be like? Would she be able to tell you anything about Billy? Finally, you had something to look forward to, even though you were worried that Billy had only arranged it out of guilt.

You felt much better the next day when you woke up, in part because you were excited to finally go outside and see some of the city but, also, because you were looking forward to meeting Billy’s friend and having someone new to talk to. The weather outside looked cold and wet, so you dressed accordingly, pulling a lovely blue jacket and pair of boots from your wardrobe to put on over your jeans and blouse.

Just before midday, you heard someone calling your name, and you quickly went out to greet them. She had stunning red hair and skin so pale you might have thought she was a vampire if you weren’t about to go out in daylight with her. It was enough to make you pause, to make you wonder how she knew Billy, an odd twinge of jealousy filling you for a second.

“Hi, I’m Karen,” she smiled and held out her hand. You took it and introduced yourself properly, even though she already knew your name. “Oh, what happened to your hand?”

Your cheeks warmed a fraction, looking down at your bandaged hand for a second. “I caught it taking some cookies out of the oven.”

“Ouch,” Karen winced sympathetically, seeming to buy the lie. “Billy said you wanted to go for coffee?”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” you answered, feeling overcome with relief the moment you stepped into the elevator.

“You got any place in mind?” Karen asked, subtly looking you up and down like she was trying to get a measure of you.

“I - I don’t know. This is my first time in New York, I don’t really know where anything is.” 

“And this is the first time he’s let you outside,” she stated.

For a second you looked at her, confused, wondering how much she knew, how much she was supposed to know. Lissa had told you that Billy valued his privacy and you weren’t sure what you were supposed to say in this situation. The uncomfortable look on your face must have been enough to tip Karen off that you didn’t know how to answer.

“He has his reasons,” she started again as the elevator arrived on the ground floor and you stepped out, “I know it probably doesn’t seem like it right now, but he is trying to look out for you.”

“How do you know him?” You asked.

“I met him through his best friend when we started dating.”

“Oh. And is he...?” You left the question unfinished, not sure if it was polite to ask.

“A vampire?” She smiled the sort of carefree smile that you couldn’t help feel envious of, like she didn’t care what anyone thought of her. “Yes, he is.”

Stepping out onto the street, you couldn’t help but stop for a moment, turning your eyes skyward and taking a deep breath. It took a second for your eyes to get used to natural light and, all the while, Karen stood watching you.

“How long has it been?” Her question pulled you back to the moment.

“A couple of weeks, I think?” You tried to remember, but you’d lost track of how long exactly it had been after the first week. However long it had been, it wasn’t really long enough to warrant that sort of reaction from you. Your cheeks warmed a fraction as you looked at Karen. “I’m not really used to being cooped up indoors all the time.”

Karen just nodded, waiting a beat before starting to walk. You fell into step beside her, your eyes taking in the sights of New York. You had no idea where she was leading you but you didn’t care. You were finally seeing the city and you couldn’t be happier.

Less than five minutes later, you found yourself in a little coffee shop, looking at the pastries and cakes on offer before you realised something.

“I don’t have any money,” you told Karen, your cheeks turning red, an uncomfortable sense of shame filling you.

It hadn’t even crossed your mind; you always had a purse with you or your phone, but Lissa had taken them and you weren’t going to be paid until you’d completed a year in Mr Russo’s service. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Karen replied, starting to fumble around with her purse before pulling out a black credit card and handing it to you. “Billy asked me to give you this for anything you need.”

The card had your name embossed on it but there was nothing else to indicate - well, anything at all. You didn’t know if it was a prepaid card or if it had a limit, and there was no way of telling where the money would be coming from.

“The PIN is your birth year,” Karen continued, though she seemed more interested in eyeing the food selection than she was in you.

After a moment more, you decided that you’d ask Billy about it when you next saw him (assuming you ever saw him again, after the other night). You choose modestly, not wanting to spend too much on a card that wasn’t yours and that you couldn’t control. For all you knew, you were spending Billy’s money and the last thing you wanted to do was take advantage of this gesture of kindness.

And that was something Karen did notice, watching you from the corner of her eye with a somewhat bemused expression on her face as you calculated just how much money you’d be spending getting a drink, a panini, and a muffin. Then, you held your breath as you used the card for the first time, preparing yourself for the embarrassment of it being declined.  It wasn’t. You breathed a sigh of relief before following Karen to a little table by the window.

Your eyes were fixed on the street outside, watching as it started to rain, but you could feel her eyes on you.

“You’re not like the others,” she finally broke the silence. 

“What were they like?” You asked with a healthy degree of caution, still not knowing what the rules were and what you were allowed to talk to her about. “Lissa said that they disappointed Mr Russo?”

She sat back, biting her lip and trying to suppress a smile. You couldn’t tell what part of it she found amusing and you didn’t want to ask.

“Disappointed is one word for it, I guess?” she took a breath, obviously composing her thoughts before continuing. “Did you know that you’re the first one he didn’t interview himself?”

You shook your head; you’d applied for the job by email and had spoken to someone (you now assumed to be Lissa) very briefly over the phone. In retrospect, it seemed strange given the amount of money that was at stake.

Unless he didn’t bother because he assumed you’d disappoint him like the others…

“The problem with Billy - with the whole job, really - is that it usually attracts a... certain sort of person. Most of them have only been interested in the money and spending a year living in the lap of luxury. The others are...” she fell silent, smiling as the barista brought your toasted paninis over and, when you were alone again, she looked like she really didn’t want to finish her thought.

“The others are...?” You prompted cautiously.

“They’re the sort of people who want more from the arrangement than Billy is prepared to give,” she answered and, when you obviously didn’t catch her meaning, she continued. “Billy is a very rich man and he’s going to live forever. A lot of people find both of those prospects very attractive.”

“They want him to...” you couldn’t bring yourself to say the words, a lump stuck in your throat at the thought. Karen nodded. “And you’ve done this before? Gone for coffee with... someone like me?”

“Not quite like this, but I did spend time with some of them.”

“What do you mean not quite like this?” 

She paused half way through lifting her cup to her lips and, for a second you could have sworn she winced. Still, she took a drink and didn’t try to answer until her mug was back on the table again.

“His rules weren’t always so strict.” Her head shook. “Look, it’s not my place to tell you any of this. Billy has his reasons for why things are the way they are; it’s to protect you as much as it’s to protect him.”

You opened your mouth to ask more questions but no words came out. Ultimately, it didn’t matter how or why the rules had changed because you’d agreed to them. You’d agreed to the job and you needed the money, so the last thing you wanted to do was get Karen in trouble and maybe jeopardise future outings like this.

“Thank you,” you told her, then quickly clarified; “for telling me.”

Karen smiled, considering her words for a moment. “Billy is a friend, but trust me when I tell you that if I didn’t believe what he was doing was necessary, I would have told him so.”

“It’s okay,” you conceded quietly, shrugging, “I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to do this.”

You turned your attention to your food, cautiously picking up your panini, trying not to burn yourself on the molten cheese that was leaking out the side as you took a bite. It was heavenly; toasted just the right amount, the cheese was sharp, and the tuna -

You dropped the panini back to your plate, horrified with yourself.

No. No-no-no. How could you have been so stupid? You felt your chest tighten a fraction, your stomach tying itself in knots. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Karen asked, obviously concerned.

“Tuna,” you stated, your voice breaking. “I’m not supposed to eat tuna. It’s on the list. He’s going to -”

“Whoa-whoa, back up. What list?”

“The list of things I’m not supposed to eat,” you tried to explain, unable to conceal the panic from your voice. 

This wasn’t you - you didn’t break rules, you always tried to stay in line - and, now, you’d messed up. All you could think was that you were going to lose the job, that Billy would kick you out and you’d have no choice but to go home. You were going to end up back where you started all because of a stupid toasted sandwich.

“Hey-hey, calm down, it’s okay,” Karen tried to settle you.

“You don’t understand I can’t lose this job.”

“You won’t,” she reached across the table, taking your hand in hers, “if Billy finds out, we’ll tell him it was my fault, okay?”

“But -”

“No, buts. Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise.”

You didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to explain the panic that was clawing beneath your ribs. You’d been raised to be good, to be decent, to follow the rules and not cause problems. You’d been raised to fear consequences and, even though you were far from home, that mindset was difficult to escape.

“Here,” she offered, sliding her plate towards you, “we can swap, I got ham and cheese. You only had one bite, Billy will never know.”

It was like she understood, like she could tell just by looking at you how desperately you needed to keep the job - not just because of the money on offer but because you had nothing and nowhere else to go without it. 

Taking the offered plate, you ate slowly, quietly. From time to time, you’d catch her looking at you, concern on her face. Conversation that followed was stilted and awkward as you picked apart your muffin until it was gone. And, once your mug was empty, the outing was over.

“I’m sorry I can’t stay longer,” she apologised as you started back towards the penthouse. “I’ll make more time next week; we can spend a whole afternoon doing whatever you want. We’ll make it a regular thing, every Thursday.”

Agreeing, you thanked her as she rode the elevator back up to the penthouse with you, making sure you were okay before leaving you with the promise of seeing you again next week.

It was strange to know that you were completely alone in the penthouse for another day but, after the incident with the panini, you were very deliberate when it came to the rules. You sat on the sofa until just before 9pm, watching the cloudy sky slowly darken and give way to night before returning to your rooms, even though no one would have known if you’d stayed in the penthouse longer.

That night you laid in bed thinking about Billy - or, rather, you thought about what it was going to be like to see him again after what had happened. Was he as embarrassed by it all as you were? Did Billy Russo even get embarrassed? Maybe it would be better for the both of you if you just pretended that it never happened.

Friday passed in a blur. Every time you heard a noise in the penthouse, you would creep to the door to your quarters and press your ear against it, trying to hear if he was back. Of course, some part of you understood how ridiculous you were being; Billy was so light on his feet that you’d never be able to hear him. But, still, time and time again you found yourself pressed against the door.

After drawing blood, you moved across the penthouse as quietly as you could, looking for signs that he was home and finding none. Once you reached the kitchen and placed the blood in the fridge, you allowed yourself a sigh of relief before turning and -

There he was.

Standing between you and your rooms, a look on his face that you couldn’t decipher.

For a second your lips parted, wanting to say something, but the words just wouldn’t come. Your cheeks started to warm and the silence dragged on for at least ten seconds. Billy looked uncertain, so uncomfortable in your presence. His normally calm and collected demeanour was gone, replaced with a look that made you feel unsettled, guilty even. More than that, you couldn’t help but notice how tired he looked - you hadn’t even realised that vampires could look tired before now.

“You decided to stay,” part-statement, part-question. All you could do was nod, letting your feet carry you a couple of steps closer to him. “I’m glad. I didn’t think you would.”

“I want to stay,” you offered quietly, breathing slowly, trying to keep your heart from racing.

“I’m sorry for the other night. I never wanted you to see me like that,” he said, standing a little taller and seeming to regain some of his usual composure. “It won’t happen again. I never wanted to make you feel unsafe here.”

“You didn’t,” your voice still small as you struggled to find a way to describe any of the things you were feeling right now. “You told me to stay away and I didn’t listen, and I didn’t ask you to stop when I should have. But I just...” you trailed off, not sure how to say the next part.

“What?” He prompted softly, his attention entirely fixed on you.

“I need to make it clear; just because you’re paying me, it doesn’t mean you’re entitled to -”

“I would never think that I’m entitled to fuck you just because I’m paying you,” he interrupted, just as offended by the notion as you were. “Anything that happens here only happens with your consent.”

Did that mean it could happen again if you wanted it to? You didn’t dare voice the question, instead you just nodded.

His gaze dropped awkwardly and yours followed it, noticing something tightly gripped in his hands. A stuffed toy. Before you could ask, Billy had cleared the distance between you, holding out the toy to you. After a moment of confused hesitation, you took it, frowning first at the toy then him.

“When you said you were lonely, you mentioned a dog and I -” he let out an uncomfortable huff of laughter, “- well, obviously I can’t let you have a real dog here but I thought - I hoped - maybe this would help.”

Your gaze dropped to the stuffed toy in your hand, shaped like a beagle with floppy ears and a little pink tongue lolling out of its mouth. You couldn’t remember the last time someone had bought you such a thoughtful gift and that sad thought caused your heart to give an uncomfortable squeeze. When you looked back to Billy, you started to realise that there was far more to the man than you’d originally believed.

“I didn’t know what kind of dog you had, so I just...” he continued, trailing off when he saw your smile.

“Thank you. It’s perfect.” 

It was Billy’s turn to simply nod, seeming just as lost for words as you were for a few seconds before deciding to let you go about your evening. “Anyway, I won’t keep you.”

The conversation was over giving you the perfect opportunity to walk away and recover from whatever this had been, only -

“I broke one of the rules,” you blurted out without thinking, not wanting to carry the weight of it after Billy’s gesture.

A flicker of discomfort crossed his face but was quickly reined in. “Which one?” 

“I ate tuna in a panini when I went out with Karen,” you stated, sounding so ashamed anyone would have thought you were confessing to murder. “It was just one bite. I forgot tuna was on the list. I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again, Mr Russo. I promise.”

You didn’t expect the laugh that followed, or the way the tension seemed to leave his body. His hand found your shoulder, offering a reassuring squeeze.

“It’s okay, it doesn’t matter.”

“But the list -”

“Tuna is on the list because I don’t like it. If I’d been here and had your blood, it would have been unpleasant for me, but I wasn’t here so I’m willing to forgive it.”

(Well, that explained why certain foods were on the list. They were things he didn’t like - did that mean he could tell what you’d been eating from your blood?)

“I spent twenty dollars,” you admitted a moment later, like you were confessing all of your sins to him. (Or maybe you just wanted to keep the conversation going a little while longer, keep his hand on you a little longer.)

His hand moved to your neck, his cold touch on your skin causing your heart to beat a little faster. And you knew he could tell, you knew he could hear the effect he was having on you. 

“You spent eighteen dollars fifty-five,” he told you, amused by whatever this was. “I don’t think you’re going to bankrupt me.” When his little joke didn’t manage to draw a smile from you, Billy sighed. “I’m the one that should be sorry. I haven’t really explained things to you, I guess because I didn’t think you’d even make it past the second week.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m asking a lot of you. Maybe too much,” he told you as his thumb began to softly brush against your jaw. “The truth is, I need things to be like this. I need to have control. I need to stay in control because when I don’t...”

He didn’t have to say it, you could fill in the blanks. The other night was what happened when Billy lost control, it was what happened when the monster overwhelmed the man.

“But,” he continued, “I know it’s not easy to be the person who’s being controlled. I know you don’t really want this.”

“No, I -” the words started to slip out before you could stop them. Billy looked at you expectantly, silently demanding you finish the thought. Your cheeks felt like they were burning, but he was giving you honesty and you needed to do the same in return. “I’m used to rules. I like knowing what’s expected of me. It doesn’t make things easier for me, but I like knowing where I stand. So, I guess I don’t mind following your rules.”

It was clear he had questions but clearer still that he didn’t want to ask them. You were grateful for that.

“You always have a choice here, little hummingbird, even if I sometimes make it seem like you don’t,” he told you, leaving his hand to linger on your neck a moment more before it dropped to his side. Somehow, you felt colder for the loss of his icy touch. He was quiet a moment before; “do you like Thai food?”

You nodded despite the very sudden change in conversation. “I love it.”

“I’ve got nothing planned this weekend, perhaps we could spend some time getting to know each other a little better? Maybe that would make things a little easier,” he offered, a small smile on his lips. “We could order from a great Thai place I know and I could try to answer some of your questions about things.”

Your fingers tightened on the stuffed toy as you smiled. Finally, you felt like you were getting somewhere, like this could become something bearable, something good.

“I’d like that,” you answered.

“Okay then, tomorrow evening at sunset,” he nodded and looked ready to leave.

Nodding in return, you finally stated to move back towards your rooms. Your hand was on the handle when he spoke again.

“Why did you help me?” You could tell from his tone that he didn’t want to ask the question, but the curiosity had gotten the better of him. “You didn’t have to help, you could’ve stayed in your rooms. Instead you put yourself in danger to help me. Why?”

You turned back, despite not knowing how to answer him. And, for a few seconds you found yourself looking at him. There was something there, something about his expression, something that made you wonder if anyone else had ever helped him before. It seemed like such an alien concept to him that anyone might go out of their way to do anything for him.

“You looked like you were in pain,” you shrugged, “and, even though I haven’t always felt completely comfortable here, I think you’ve always tried to be kind... in your own way. So, I couldn’t just stand by when I thought there was a chance I could help you.”

Billy swallowed, like he was trying to rid himself of a lump in his throat. Then he nodded, clearly lost for words. That look you’d noticed only seconds before seemed to intensify and Billy didn’t seem to know what to do with it.

“Thank you,” he finally managed, before giving you one last look and turning away. 

For a second you allowed yourself to watch him as he made his way towards the kitchen but you knew you couldn’t linger, not when the pounding of your heart gave you away. Slipping through the door, you quickly shut it behind you, pressing your back against it for a moment. Looking down, you realised that you had the stuffed dog clutched to your chest. It was silly, such a ridiculous gift, but the fact that he’d listened to you, the fact that he’d thought about what you’d told him, it meant so much.

End Note : Billy was having a Mr Darcy (Matthew Macfadyen version) moment when he handed over the stuffed toy. Place your bets on what she’s going to to call it. I know this one was slow and a little cutesy but I wanted to build some more tension before things start to ramp up next chapter.

As always thank you so much for reading! And thank you so much to all my new followers (I did not expect 200+ followers when I started posting on tumblr). I hope you all have awesome weekends!!

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future chapters! If tagging doesn't work for some reason (aka Tumblr being dumb) I post most Fridays around 7:30 gmt. (Note: Tumblr is currently being stupid and only letting me tag five people at a time, so I'll be tagging people in the comments. Sorry if you get tagged twice!!)

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[spaghettificationandpretzels]

Hi! For the kink thing you're doing - could we please please get a Billy Russo competency + overstim kink (or competency and praise, whichever pairing you prefer). In my mind the reader gets *ideas* when Billy is building something (bc those damn IKEA dressers are difficult) or maybe she goes to Anvil one day and sees him doing like training with recruits or something? Anyway, sorry for the ramble and thank you in advance!

I am!

Masterlist

In the Sniper's Nest

Contains: Consent and kink negotiation, hand kink (you get an extra one), competency kink, fingering, overestimation, P in V, fluff.

1.5K words

You check out the new instalment at Anvil, a sniper's nest that Billy seems to love.

Despite his ear protection, he still heard you ascending the steps of the sniper's nest. It was Anvil's newest toy, the tall structure standing out above the skyline of the flat warehouse. He pulled aside his ear muff and pulled the earplug free, pushing himself up from his position lying on the table in the middle of the room to rush over to greet you. "Hi."

You tapped your own ear muff with a smile. "What?"

He pulled them off your head and placed them around your neck as you yanked the earplugs out. "These are a good look for you."

You chuckled. "Yes, that gun is very loud."

He smiled and leaned down to kiss you, his hand soft on your cheek as you leaned against him. He pulled away, brushing your hair from your face as he looked down at you lovingly. "Now what are you doing here?"

You sighed. "I missed you, you've been busy and we've been missing our lunch dates." You furrowed your brow. "Why are you in your suit?" Normally during training, he wore his grey fatigues.

He sighed. "I just got done showing our client our new space. They were very impressed."

You took the chance to look around the small room. It was set up like an embedded sniper outpost, the walls covered in large charts about wind speed and bullet type, even though it was furnished like a dining room in a dilapidated apartment. The only things that really stood out were the new couch in one corner and the shelves of binoculars and PEE along one wall. "It looks even better than the photos." It really felt like you were in enemy territory.

He took your hand and led you to the table, gesturing to his rifle with a smile. "You wanna watch?"

You nodded, and he walked around the table to the shelves, picking up a pair of safety glasses and a set of binoculars. He placed the binoculars on the table and pulled you close, sliding the safety glasses over your face before booping your nose as you held back your giggles. "You're being silly, Billy."

He bent his head and kissed you again before helping you climb onto the table and settling next to you. His shoulder was back bracing the riffle as you looked through the lens, and the shot shook the room while smoke billowed from the barrel. You didn't see anything until he tapped your shoulder and pointed to one of the trees at the very edge of the property. Another look clarified what he was shooting at as another shot rang out, and a left was blown clear of its branch.

It happened like that each time, the green leaves disappearing in a puff as the boom of the gun jerked the table until he ran out of bullets. When he finally placed the weapon on the ground, you still found yourself unable to look away from the sight, he hadn't missed a shot the whole time. He ran his hand all the way up your back, finally breaking your attention away from the tree. You removed everything from your head and turned backwards to face them. "That was very impressive."

He was smiling, his ego clearly boosted by the look of amazement on your face. "I gotta go back to the armoury and clean my rifle. You wanna come?"

You nodded. "Of course I do."

The trip was short, only down the stairs and through a door before you were standing in an expansive space loaded with guns. He made his way to the large table with you following close behind and began to dissemble the weapon, taking it apart piece by piece before cleaning each part with care, his face a mask of concentration as the burnt gun powdered turned into shiny metal.

"You see something you like?" He looked so smug.

You most definitely did, each movement of his slender fingers was precise and controlled more like a dance than a tedious process he could do with his eyes closed and one hand tied behind his back. "Yes, many things, would you like me to list them?"

If you thought he was smug before, that was nothing compared to how he was now. "Nah, I think I have a pretty good idea."

The gun was put away in his personal spot, and he washed his hands in the slop skin as you watched on, swaggering up to you and lifting you onto the table when he was done. "You need something from be gorgeous girl?"

You nodded. "Many things."

He settled between your spread legs, his fingertips playing with the hem of your jeans as he gazed into your eyes. "Are my fingers one of them?"

It was hard to concentrate on anything when he was touching you, but you knew if you didn't answer, nothing would happen. "Yes, I would like that very much."

He smirked and popped open your jeans, slowly undoing the zip if only to toy with you before his fingers met your core. "You got something you need to tell me about, because there's no way my poor landscaping and the smell of gun oil has got you this wet."

He wasn't pulling any punches, there was no tease or slow build, he was doing exactly what he needed to bring you right to the edge before your brain could catch up. "You're very good at things…" You took a deep breath to gather yourself as heat spread out from where his fingers were on you. "And I like that you're good at things."

The feeling of his fingers leaving your skin shocked you into action and you tugged at his clothes while he tugged at yours, and before long, you were both naked with your clothes in little piles around you. "You know what else I'm good at?"

You knew exactly what answer he was looking for by the way his thumb was rubbing at the inside of your thigh. "Yes, yes I do."

He smiled and returned to touching you with the same insistence as before. It didn't take long for the pressure to build in your core, and he knew it. His beard scratched your skin as his lips worried at your neck, and he smiled into your skin as you clenched around nothing. He didn't stop there, his long fingers filling you before the aftershocks could fade.

Everything was so steady and practised, the fingertips on your G-spot, his lips on yours, each move intentional and purposeful until you were once again cresting the hill into bliss. He was unrelenting, pushing and pushing and pushing until one orgasm faded into another and space reduced to just the two of you in the empty Anvil warehouse.

"Please, Billy, I can't take it anymore." That was only half a lie, you could have told him no if you needed to.

He chuckled warmly, pulling his hand away and sucking his fingers into his mouth with a groan before speaking. "So you don't want me inside you?"

His tone held just a hint of mischief, and you nipped his shoulder as he chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes."

You nodded. "Yes please."

His forehead fell against yours as he slid inside you, taking a careful pace as you leaned your weight into him. He wrapped his arms around your body, controlling the pace as you wove one hand into his hair and held the table with the other. As his speed picked up, he pulled back to watch your blissed out face, grunting like an animal with every thrust as he took in the sight of your screwed tight eyes and heaving chest. "Billy..I."

He kissed you softly, whispering against your lips as his fingers made their way to your clit. "I know, gorgeous, I can feel it. How about you be a good girl and cum for me again."

You were powerless to resist his request, not when he said it so sweetly and as you were swept into the undertow of it, his teeth sunk into your lower lip as he followed you.

You stayed together for a breath before he finally stepped back, smirking as you twitched. "Sorry."

You huffed. "No you're not."

He kissed the corner of your mouth with a smile. "You're right about that."

He reached down for your clothes, dressing you piece by piece before dressing himself. Your eyes went wide, and he paused, looking at you intently as if he could decipher your worry. "Umm, is Jerry watching the cameras?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "I made sure they were turned off when we walked in here."

You fained offence and shoved his shoulder playfully. "You ass, you planned this from the start."

He nodded and kissed you again. "Yep. You can't be mad, you love me."

You sighed. "I do but I'm expecting you to make it up to me, I can't have you scheming all the time."

The look of lust on his face told you what he was thinking. "Oh, don't worry, I will."

Fin

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[fallingfavourites]

the long awaited mag edits are so back baby

@petertingle-yipyip ex is literally my all time fav xreader ever (i say as im 50 chapters behind with reading)

oh help I meant to post this on @favouritesarefalling ... well okay ig 😭

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