#But I'm still *thinking* about it

[itsnightsyo]

Today's late night exercise is making peace with the fact that whatever you create and publish online is now in the people's hands, and maybe they will do a thing with it that you don't like. But I already made peace with this more than a decade ago. OBVIOUSLY I know how the internet works!

But the new thing to think about is: I am also allowed to have my own boundaries WHILE acknowledging that people can read my stuff however they want and do whatever they want with it.

Yeah I'm allowed to NOT like a person's interpretation or ship or opinion or idea or or or or or, while also explicitly NOT preventing them from having it if they want to. We can both be free. It's canon and headcanon. I'm so glad I can expect the distinction to be respected, and that it has been respected so far. I'm very very grateful for how kind everyone is.

But now I do want to, in advance, make peace with the possiblity that some day will come where it won't be respected, because that will inevitably happen. It's the internet after all, you're nobody's dad and they'll do whatever they want, the only rule is that there are NO rules! And well, I accept the challenge, I'm just not going to avoid saying what I like and what I don't like if asked.

[goddesstrolls]

Omnius: Man, get your dog

Masuni: Aw he don't bite

Omnius: YES HE DO!!

Darric:

[njadastonearm]

I finally got around to confronting Benny in this playthrough (mostly because I wanted to reset my Legion reputation so they'd stop ambushing me every five minutes) and as I was walking around the Tops I realized that there are no women amongst the Chairmen -- there's one woman working as a cashier (not sure if the cashiers/dealers are set or randomly generated?) but that's it. Not even the unnamed random Chairmen or Rad Pack dancers walking around are women. And I guess that seems kind of silly given the name but the group is also obviously inspired by the Rat Pack which did have women in it.

The only other factions in the game that have zero women are Caesar's Legion (the only women at the Fort, named or otherwise, are slaves), the Powder Gangers, and the Omertas (I guess this may depend on if you consider the prostitutes and the receptionist members of the family, but dialogue with Joana and Dazzle certainly imply that the prostitutes are more like property, not members of the family). The reasons for the disparity in the Legion and the Powder Gangers are explained directly in the game (the Legion bars women from combat; the Powder Gangers are escapees from a men's prison). The Omertas aren't addressed directly but the only women you can talk to are or were previously prostitutes, and while there are also male prostitutes it's notably the women who are treated as lambs to Clanden's slaughter -- even if it isn't explicitly addressed, it does give the impression that there's a certain ingrained misogyny in how they run their business. (Meanwhile, the only all-female "faction" is Maud's Muggers, who only appear with the Wild Wasteland trait and who also are literally just three old ladies hitting you with rolling pins.)

But while it's implied (through bugged dialogue) that Benny has definitely used women to his own ends and uses slightly misogynistic comments, there's no obvious reason why the Chairmen wouldn't have any women in their ranks. Even if there was an underlying misogyny, I'd expect something like the Rad Pack Review to have showgirls instead of men in suits or a token higher-up woman in Swank's place or as somebody's wife, even if she doesn't have much real power. Certainly there are also places in the real world where women just aren't welcome, but they usually also aren't welcome as guests or customers, which the Chairmen seem to have no problem with. I just find it kind of weird and something that doesn't make sense.

[micamone]

actually i think one of the best, most unhinged, type of fan art is a whole-ass site dedicated to it. just fully immersing yourself in the universe to make a functional website that would be in it. it’s writing it’s coding it’s art WHO is that insane enough to do that to themselves. i love it.

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

How do you regard someone who screwed you over so completely that it changed the course of your life, but like, for the better?

Maybe that's overstating this individual's influence. Maybe i would've found my way here anyway, but i don't know how; i was on a completely different path.

This individual's betrayal set me back quite a bit and shattered my trust in some aspects of myself. But because of that, I've been smarter, more careful and more strategic in my choices. Because i didn't go through the door they slammed in my face, i chose a different path and ended up having a lot of good things happen to me much sooner than they otherwise would have, and finding a future to work towards which is much brighter and more attainable than what I was working towards before. I was spared from miserably trying to do something that's just not for me, and set on a path that, while tough and miserable at first, put me on a much faster track towards contentment.

Maybe i should thank them. Then again, it still smarts. 🤷

[marta-bee]

I haven’t actually made more progress on the fic from a few weeks ago, but today I was composing a scene in my head as I walked home from the movie. Odd how much easier it is to write when said writing isn’t actually possible, innit?

[captainjonnitkessler]

Sometimes I wish we would start calling out the performative radicalism on this site for the poser bullshit it is. "Remember, it's always morally correct to kill a cop!" "Don't forget to firebomb your local government office!" "Wow, it sure would be a shame if these instructions on how to make a molotov cocktail got spread around!"

Okay. But you're not killing cops or firebombing government offices. You are posting on a dying microblogging website to a carefully-curated echo chamber that has radicalized itself into thinking that taking the absolute most extreme position on any subject is praxis but that anyone discussing the most practical way to effect actual change is your sworn enemy. You do not have the street cred OR the activist cred to be talking about killing cops, babe.

[liquidstar]

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

[robyn-i-guess]

liking someone platonically is so embarrassing like. yeah i admire you. yeah i think about you all the time. yeah i look forward to every time i see you even if it's only for a minute. yeah it's all platonic and yeah i couldn't explain this because it'd sound romantic. fucking hell

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hey now, Let her cook!

[cowardlycowboys]

girl who needs to ask for reassurance would rather be stabbed than admit they have needs

GIRL GENDER FUNNY‼️ POST MADE BY MOST FEMININE HE/THEY SHUT UP‼️

[impulsivelycontentious]

I'm still thinking of that $10,000,000 vs $1000 a day poll because My Brain Be Like That and now I'm thinking of people's trust in banks and the economy and the marshmallow experiment and how it didn't prove what people claimed it did and how poor kids trust adults who promise marshmallow later a whole lot less and then what is the marshmallow? The lump sum or the $1,000 a day? The promise that you get to keep it or the promise that there will be more?

What do you trust less?

[lgbtlunaverse]

Nothing will dispell the "the curtains were just blue" myth faster than writing something yourself, because the amount of pretentious symbolism i am putting in my silly little fanfics is ridiculous. I mean SO much with these words, literally every single one of them. This fic has twenty five typos and zero correct uses of punctuation but if there's curtains you bet your ass I put thought into what colour they were.

[herd-reject-arts]

So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this

Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.

So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"

It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead

Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[barghest-land]

first 10 days of jurassic june! i'm slow with it but still going ;__;