#But it is right for me and my husband

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Hello bex!

Idk if you elaborated on how you became poly but may i ask what those feelings where exactly?

I dont exactly know what that concept means, i have only heard it on tiktoks about reddit💀

Im sorry if its a loaded question... Im just curious but understand if you dont want to answer

Well sure Anon! I've touched on this before, but hey, I don't mind talking about this again. Bexxx Lore under the cut.

I first started thinking critically about this, like fifteen years ago, literally half my life ago now. I was online and discovered this artist who made this comic that first introduced to the ideas of polyamory, the comic in question was about a married couple opening up to a third and them all being a throuple, I adored it. Furthermore, I had never seen anything like that, I was raised catholic and every person, every movie, show, book, thing, had always preached the idea you are with one person and one person only and anything outside of that is cheating, bad, wrong, impossible.

So to see this, the idea, the very concept that there are other relationship dynamics, that multiple people can be with or not with multiple people in varying ways, all open and honest and communicating? That it was okay? Blew my tiny teenage bi brain wide open.

It felt, I dunno just like right, I felt attached to it very quickly, some part of me just totally clicked into place. I knew I wanted to pursue it.

The idea of polyamory is that you have the capacity for love and care and want to be with more than just one person in a romantic, intimate, and/or physical sense.

So let's jump ahead a bit.

I'm with Mr.Bex, years before he would become Mr.Bex and before we got married. We'd been dating for a while, and he knew about my polyam proclivities and suggested we try doing it. We were both very young, we got together at like 18 and 19, we had known each other a long time, knew we were in it for the long haul but had very little experience outside each other. So we decide to begin our polyam journey.

We talked a lot about ideas, what we wanted, boundaries, and we kept talking about it, and we still talk about it.

Our first experience is with one of our best and closest friends, the eventual MOH at our future wedding, we both started seeing her and it was awesome. It was a FWB thing, and it was so fucking good, it confirmed everything for me, I can do this, I can have multiple complex relationships with different people, get my needs all met without putting all the pressure to satisfy me on one person and the same for Mr.Bex.

We've been with multiple people now, both separately and together, and it's been great. We have been open/polyam for the vast majority of our relationship.

I am just a very open, caring, non-jealous person. I think I have always been poly, I just needed something to tell me it was even an option to wake me up to it.

It just fits me and what I want and need the best.

[astrhae]

"I'm very good at forgiveness. It's one of my favorite things."

[mrghostrat]

catch me monching on @chernozemm's cottage wives like an everlasting gobstopper

[b0nelessdoodles]

tfw you're three deep in anchordeep and you get the notif that you're baby has been neglected so you turn into a speedrunner to get home

[sentientsky]

here, have some silly little good omens valentine’s day cards from your local arospec dumbass

[hey-must-be-a-devilbetween-us]

Just been thinking about how when Aziraphale said that 'Nothing Lasts Forever' and Crowley immediately took that in a totally different way than Aziraphale intended.

The look of surprise and confusion that quickly becomes desperation that takes over Aziraphale face as Crowley walks away, he calls out to him, begs him to come back to him, and quickly covers it up with 'to heaven.'

he didn't mean them, he would never mean them.

(a lot more under the cut)

the places would change, the circumstances would change, the people and the play and the drama would change, they have always had different seasons of their relationship.

but them, together, as always been as constant as the tides and the phases of the moon, even if they get separated for a month or a decade or a century, they always come back together.

Also been thinking about how Crowley doesn't have faith in a lot of things (for obvious reasons), but the most heart breaking is how he has no faith that underneath it all, no matter what, Aziraphale loves him and wants to be with him, even though he has a mountain of evidence of it.

Its been pointed out that Aziraphale this whole season has seemed to be trying to get closer emotionally to Crowley, 'shooting his shot.'

'Its our car, its our bookshop, its our plan to save Gabriel, take my hand lets dance while you tell me what's wrong my dear boy.'

More than just an arrangement, more than fraternizing, more then just friendly banter over drinks and food, it always was more, but now they can act like it, Aziraphale is going for it in his own way.

and Aziraphale is so obviously frustrated during the fight that Crowley doesn't see that.

but come on, you can't blame Crowley at this point, Aziraphale is effectively asking Crowley to change literally everything about themselves and forget a millennia of trauma and anger and guilt and self-loathing.

It sure makes it seem like Aziraphales love is now suddenly conditional on them changing.

I don't think Aziraphale sees it that way though right?

He doesn't see it as 'I will love Crowley more if they are an angel.' he sees it as 'Crowley will be happier as an angel surely? They will also be safer with that designation.' and 'any sacrifice will be worth it if it means we'll finally be able to be safe and together.'

See, I don't think Aziraphale even wants Crowley to be an angel again.

I think he's trying to convince himself that he wants that, which is what makes the Metatron offering that in the first place so damn insidious.

I think in his heart of hearts, appointing Crowley to be an angel again is just as much of a sacrifice to him as leaving his beloved bookshop, leaving earth with all its wonderful music and color and life and stories and people, but what does that say about him as an angel?

Everyone can sneer and look down on him for having affections for a demon but there is some plausible deniability that its just bad circumstances, Crowley just happens to be a demon but he's really very lovely once you get to know him, in spite of it all.

But like...giving Aziraphale the opportunity to make Crowley an angel again and he doesn't want to take it because...he loves Crowley exactly the way he is? That he may have had a crush on the angel he was, but it was truly The Demon Crowley that he fell in love with.

I think Aziraphale is gonna need some time to get brave enough to say that with his whole chest (but dear lord will it be wonderful when he does.)

And the Metatron knows this, and he knows Crowley is exactly who he is supposed to be, and so The Metatron knows that Crowley could never ever say yes to going back, it goes against his very nature, he knew that Crowley would take it exactly the way he did.

(Ergo more evidence that splitting them up is the whole goal because they're just too powerful together.)

So, Aziraphale is stuck in the worst way I can imagine.

He's given the opportunity to have everything he should want, so he's trying to make the best of it even though it decidedly isn't what he wants, because its evident that the meddling from Heaven and Hell isn't going away, the Metatron is giving him the path of least resistance, isn't that going along with Heaven as far as he can?

Every word he says to Crowley about how wonderful it will be and how this is an amazing opportunity and we'll be together and we'll make better choices, we'll make a difference.

Its trying to convince himself just as much.

I think Aziraphale is terrified of going back to heaven by himself, but what other choice does he have? He's terrified about what will happen if he doesn't, and not because of any explicit threat by the Metatron, but what it would imply about him, if they knew exactly how he felt about Crowley, what might they do to them both?

and that's why the Kiss™ is so horrible and beautiful at the same time, its harsh and it looks like it hurts when their teeth bump together and it is so desperate, but Aziraphale still clings to Crowley, trembling and whimpering (jesus christ sheen...)

More than an expression of romantic love (because by God herself have they expressed it in so many ways for thousands of years,) its a plea to stay, choose this, choose us.

And Aziraphale wants to, but he can't, and its agony, but how could he explain that to Crowley when he barely understands it himself, he doesn't recognize what the Metatron has done.

That's why Aziraphale seems just as angry at the kiss as he is fucking devastated, its not a 'how dare you kiss me,' its an 'how dare you kiss me right now, in this moment, when if it had came earlier everything might have been different."

"How dare you kiss me now to just let me know everything I'm giving up, and not just because you wanted to."

"How dare you make this our first kiss."

Aziraphale doesn't see the Kiss™ as the Hail Mary that it is, he sees it as a spiteful bitter thing, something that he has been yearning for forever being twisted into something to hurt him, but I think he can see the sadness and fear in it too, so he forgives Crowley for it.

And of course, Crowley takes that to mean, "I forgive you for kissing me when you know that's not how I feel, for trying to manipulate me." or something to that effect, either way its enough for him to leave the conversation, nothing more to say.

I think Aziraphales next arc is going to be all about being open and honest and brave, which is in exact juxtaposition to the traits that made him grow closer to Crowley in the first place and that's what really fucking gets me.

From giving away the flaming sword, the entire damn arrangement, trying to thwart the apocalypse, to the very fact that he loves Crowley.

"I'm a fallen angel! I lied! To thwart the will of God!"

"Yeah, ya did, but I'm not gonna tell anybody, are you?"

"Then nothing has to change."

Except it did, and it does, if they are to get their happy ending in their cottage in the south downs.

anyway, yeah that's all i wanted to say i think, how was your guys week so far?

gif credit:

@starklystar @raggedy-spaceman @spooks-ez

(if i missed anyone or miscredited pls lmk!)

cont in reply (i like what i wrote here so i'm trying to keep track lol)

[formulaaone]

from Williams’ tiktok

[duu-kiwi]

I bet aziraphale wrote about the day the universe was made, about the angel whose voice recited the words that created the stars, about how bright they shone, and still shine, in those angel eyes✨🪐

Here you have some detailss and a cropped version with just!! them!!!

edit: prints link !

[veinsfullofstars]

👑 Sworn Partners ⚔️ 

(ID: Kirby series fanart of King Dedede and Meta Knight being cute and in love. Top panel - bust shot of DDD scooping MK up into his arms, smooshing the flustered knight against him in a great big hug as a little flurry of hearts bursts from them. Middle panel - bust shot of DDD holding MK in his arms, gazing down at him with an easy grin as the knight pushes his mask to the top of his head, a fond smile on his face as he gazes back. Bottom panel - bust shot of DDD and MK leaning in together to meet in a kiss, eyes closed and faces flushed, the king holding his knight tighter, the knight gently cupping his king’s cheek. More little hearts hover around them, the biggest just above their heads. In all panels, DDD's crown and MK's armor are - as usual - touched with white highlights and dusted with sparkles. END ID.)

Sketch started some time early 2024, render started 03/18/24, finished 04/15/24.

[felsicveins]

His heart belongs to another

And no other heart will do

[majunju]

jihyun ...

[fyoht]

oh my god. look at him. what a little bitch.

[okadaizoirl]

getting severely clear just how many people have never heard someone tell a trans man "honey, gay men call each other 'sis' and 'queen' all the time"

(or maybe never listened when a trans guy opened up about it)

[2-dsimp]

never met anyone who call me wife and feel this slu- i mean sexxy 👁👄👁💦

[peachyutdr]

i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D

[crawley-fell]

Don't speak, I know what you're thinkin' I don't need your reasons Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Don't Speak by No Doubt - The Brainrot Series

(requested by @10-days-of-freakin-olives)