#But just in case...im...dedicated!
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This whole project with crime and punishment 2007 makes me laugh so much. Give a mouse a cookie type of deal. Im going to create better captions for it...okay, ill find higher quality footage without a watermark for a little extra effort. Well...i guess i could upscale it too, and do some editing to make it a little clearer, 1080p.... and i can change the color grading, too...
#floyd.txt#I love this book so much and its a good adaption...#But also the captions take the most effort ahahah#I think no matter what ill find a way to keep it accessible online. Youtube vimeo dailymotion etc#I doubt itll be taken down ive actually seen uploads from almost a decade ago.#But just in case...im...dedicated!#First episode is taking a minute due to certain changes and i was really extra with the opening captions#I synced the fade ins and outs and all of that. Stupidly tedious with preimier pro... blegh#This will come up until its over im sorry this is what im spending part of my nights on. Parts of my day when possible.#All these passion projects...months long projects...this book!!@#The doll does make me laugh too. I always wanted to do this. Im going to make rodya. I love him that much :)#Hes good beginner sewing wise. I helmed everything and what not and had to rough it up lol
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One thing I'll tell you for free is that I fucking love being niche. I love enjoying very specific genres and I love creating for a very specific subset of people.
There is no group more dedicated to one another than the 5 freaks who all smoke in the parking lot together while they share pictures and stories of this one hyper-focused thing that only they enjoy.
#maybe it comes from being big into horror (where there are many subgenres that are carefully defined) idk#but i've always enjoyed things for the few and not for the masses#and not in a 'oh im so different and edgy no one is like me' kind of way#just in a 'i know what i like and i like what i know and that makes me happy' way#and let me tell you man the people that enjoy niche things are DEDICATED to them#and it's lovely#people tend to be so much kinder because we're all working in a smaller space together#like i hear a lot about people who write canon-centric ship fics getting lots of demands and being subjected to poor treatment#but in my experience with reader insert that is not the case at all#people are so sweet and grateful#i've had some run ins with mean people but not many at all#mostly that tends to come from outside the niche#so i appreciate these little communities we build together because solace is hard to find in today's world#and it means everything to have it here
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Weekczek #2
I miss the weekly posting, the doodling and accidentally making cool stuff while I was at it, so yknow... why not bring it back? 👀✨
Soeedpaint and alt colors under the cut!
#my hope is that i wont be doing it alone but while the concept is evaluated by friends im just gonna start it for myself#it feels a bit scary to have it on my personal accounts instead of making a dedicated one where things can be the lowest of efforts#but oh well worst case scenario I'll have a lot of deleting to do in a while :V#so keep an eye out for Thursdays#i plan on having a doodle waiting for you here each week 👀✨ cant promise they will be pretty tho :V#weekczek#is the tag for it if you want to mute it or follow :³#doodle#sketch#gillian the human bard#bg3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 tav#BratniaDusza's OC#friends oc
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no i havent caught up on skybound yes these two images make me so fucking sick im going to commit shockwave level crimes
#theyre sick theyre sick theyre sick theyre sick#transformers skybound spoilers#just in case#but GOD THEYRE SICK#i think more decepticons should view megatron as a spiritual figure the way people do op#but also its important that specifically soundwave feels this way#megatron IS the decepticon cause and soundwave is nothing if not dedicated to the fucking cause#biting my hands until they bleed. blood and violence and pain#anyways. im a normal man
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I feel like in the past the mix of this site being used for both activism and fandom helped contribute to a lot of unhinged politicized fandom discourse where yeah ofc there's a political tie to media but ppl used it as... a form of activism where it was given disproportionate importance compared to other activism discussions? Whereas now we're swinging to the opposite site of How Dare You Care About Meaningless TV Shows When Politics.
Like... we can have a mix of realizing there's more important stuff to focus on than shipping discourse in the world at large without also minimizing the insane doxxing and death threats behavior going on in fandom that people in fandom have to take into consideration to be able to do their hobby, esp given how those attitudes stem from irl political climates at times in ways that are telling to study. Hobbies are kinda how we prevent activism burnout also. Crazey how that works.
#Txt#I am also not immune to overly politicizing fandom#But also I use the site in the curated fashion one would use fandom dedicated forums in#So of course that's my focus here and ofc i process a lot here specifically thru a fandom lens#Ofc other people do too if you look at it in that way#So it's probably bizarre for ppl who do come here primarily for activism to see posts abt#fandom drama btwn posts abt the world being on fire#Ofc that contrast makes fandom stuff all look totally meaningless#when... every community has these discussions esp within curated spaces#It's not stupid to care about fandom bs that impacts me in fandom#And it is in fact weird to assume my posts here are a reflection of my understanding of the world and#a performance of everything I'm doing or not doing to help a cause#Just like someone who uses this site for activism probably has an irl club they're in#for a less stressful hobby. Or at least I hope they do#The difference is that's not under surveillance bc it's offline lol#And im sure clubs or whatever have their insane drama too that needs attention sometimes#Maybe I'm overly sensitive to these things as a person w health issues that make#my options for socializing fairly limited - so the specific brand of unhinged social shit#that happens in online fandoms does weigh more heavily for me and the tons of other ppl#like me who hang out here bc we don't have anywhere irl#But idk I don't think it needs to be an extreme case for there to be some basic understanding#of why fandom is like... important to people... and that other people on a site#where you can so easily curate ur experience are gonna be talking abt stuff#relevant to the way they've curated their experience#Barging into the crocheting subreddit like why aren't you talking about pothole maintenance in New Jersey#Ik tumblr is more mixed up but that's what this feels like sometimes#Specific spaces for specific things. What a concept.
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the writers should've just committed to the one-sided pining daxton, but they're cowards who refused to accept that it's fundamentally impossible to write a version of paxton who is not in love with devi
#nhie#nhie s4#never have i ever#paxton hall yoshida#devi vishwakumar#nhie s4 spoilers#nhie spoilers#nhie meta#my post#like youre telling me that everything about his character regressed EXCEPT his feelings for devi???#he's been in love with her since his junior year!!!!#he spent all of season three hung up on her and we never see him move on but somehow he's magically over her#when his entire arc is literally about him retreating to his comfort zone and returning to his high school???#what the fuck are you talking about#fucking terminal case of 'he would not say that'#unless you dedicate an enormous amount of screen time to him moving on it just Does Not Work#and honestly the ending felt too picture-perfect and neat with everyone paired up#paxton pining but resigned to not getting back together might have been a bit of a bummer but it would've been more real to life#and fit the messy & imperfect vibe of the show#also im a sucker for pining#tho i mean. darren barnet was def doing his best to show that paxton still has feelings for devi even with the scraps the script gave him#tag ramble
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Abigail Baines - Dolorifuge
Bernadette You are my liberty I celebrate the day That you changed my history of life and death Will always lead you into love and regret But you have answers And I have the key for the door to Bernadette
All images used are not mine, credits to the rightful owners on Pinterest
#abigail baines#criminal case#criminal case mysteries of the past#moodboard#aesthetics#the passage of the song was quite fitting#inspired by a tumblr post regarding the song#that the memory of bernadette brings neither joy nor grief#this is what happens if you keep listening to your saved songs#abigail my beloved#i need to write about you#she haunts the narrative of ivory hill - capitol peak#may i elaborate on the fact that her murder was a reflection on what lawson had to witness#and then how her murder was the one that drove him to dedicate himself to justice#only for the same motivation to become obscure since his perspective on certain situations changed but the connection was still there#yet in a way he tries to assure himself perhaps that he does it for justice which was also for her#yapping atp so im just gonna shhh
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I've been like "damn my bed is squeakibg more than usual, maybe something's finally wrong with the frame" but then just now i moved something close to the bottom frame & it's magically less noisy. Idk how that happened but. Ok.
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#interview TOMORROW which now that it's approaching is stressing me out#tbh the bed was stressing me out a little too bcause i hate when it makes noise like that but im happy it was a normal fix :)#telling myself they will probably not ask me back bcause my interviewing skills suck & i'm not prepared for questions abt my current job#but. worry me anyways.#thinking about 5calls again... idk. i just feel so busy lately. but maybe after interview everything will be fine#*for 5calls i want to make a video on how to call from an android phone since aac doesn't work on a phone call like that#options are: bluetooth speaker; use external device (like a pc); call from a landline and use your mobile phone for aac#since like ... ? in my case i *don't* have a dedicated device & *do* have phone anxiety & i just think... maybe if i make a video#[...] it can help other people? can help try and make more change in the world?#well. that's not job related at all. so whatever. i'm probably going to fuck this interview up but i need sleep beforehand... sigh#wish me luck? thoughts and prayers? send a job my way through those avenues? idk. or none of the above it doesnt really matter#i'm just scareeeed of everything 24/7 like cant get gas (worried money) cant go outside (worried Everything) can't make phonecalls (augh)#outside meaning like. drive somewhere i can go out my house & wander neighborhood at least
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FINALLY DONE WITH THE ISAT OC! SOLEIL!!!
The creature... So first things first is some info about them pre- disappearance of The Country. They're a loyal follower and avid worshipper of The Country. They love the Universe sooo much that they made a wish to be able to read the stars, and the Universe answered. I like to think that the stars are talkative, some can predict what will happen in the near future, some are just "chatting" to each other about the stuff happening in the world they overlook. It's a somewhat useful ability that Soleil used to use to be able to either predict someone's future (rarely though, the stars hold many different futures and it's hard to figure out which is whose) or use it during funeral rites to have a more reassuring experience to the ones mourning that their loved one arrived safely among the stars.
And then they found out about The Cursing of Chateau Castle-- they kiiiinda got Really obsessed with the book series that they wanted to know more about it but there wasn't any more copies of it in the Country's language so what better way to deal with that but teaching itself how to understand the Vaugardian language, and by doing that they got to learn more about the Vaugardian culture and was really amazed by it (considering that they spent most of their life with the Country's culture instead, learning about a different culture is a great feeling). One thing led to the other and it also led Soleil to travelling to Vaugarde (something that their family wasn't all that happy with but they stay silly).
And so we're back at the present time! Now to talk about some details on its appearance.
Its Craft type is Scissors! The eye on the center of its chest and the eye by its nape are in fact EYES and not just accessories (although they did try to make the eye on its chest appear to be like a mix between a star shape and the Change Symbol).
After spending some time in Vaugarde, they learned about Body Craft in which case they decided to experiment with it in regards to its eyes.
Since being in Vaugarde, there wasn't much use to its star sight and there also isn't a way to "turn it off." So instead, they decided to separate its Normal sight from the Star sight by adding another pair of eyes on its body.
The eyes on its face are blind. They can't see through it anymore but they Can still see the stars (they can't read it anymore however cuz of the Country's disappearance).
If they focus on the stars using those eyes, they'd get a REALLY bad headache and a star sign appears on its eyes. Nothing to be afraid of probably, its head just Really hurts.
The glass covering the eye on its nape is a one way mirror. You won't be able to see the eye but the eye can still see you.
With its vision split, it actually took them awhile to get used to that. It takes a lot of concentration and focus to see both from behind and from the front. When Soleil gets tired from doing that, they either close the eye on its nape (if the place is safe enough) or unfocus it enough to the point that most of its vision becomes blurry with only being able to see blobs of shapes and shadows which helps them be alert enough in case something comes running at them from behind.
All the round objects you see on its body are Bombs. They found out about Bomb Craft in Jouvente and was so fascinated by it that their inventor brain (inventing, crafting, and repairing stuff is a special interest of theirs). They now like making bombs and inventing new ones (only they have the recipe of those).
The bombs they invented only detonates via a Craft spell, it's basically as safe as an ordinary ball to handle unless detonated. Also the scissors at the top of their head has a cover on its tip. It's Very Sharp. They mainly use that (either the tip or the scissor blades itself) to cut the bombs dangling on its body.
Despite the multitude of bombs they carry, they aren't actually much of a fighter (they just like bombs). Most of its Craft spells are basic/beginner level. The one and only Powerful Craft spell they have is a shield/defense spell that they practiced several times. It's capable of negating all damage for 2 turns with a 5 turn cooldown, they wanted to master that spell to make it so that bombs won't hurt them no matter the close proximity.
Its hand signs are "broken." They used to mimic the hand signs that the Universe (I'm mainly referring to my design of the Universe) makes. But after forgetting about everything in regards to it, they can't remember what hand signs they used to make but the familiar feeling was still there.
A huge fan of The Cursing of Chateau Castle, to the point of practically making it part of its identity now that a HUGE chunk of its memory is missing. Its outfit is a modified version of what they think Lady Irene-Janine-Karine wears.
Its personality is a mixture of Lord Josephandre, Pierre-Jacques-Erneste, and Lady Irene-Janine-Karine (aka the Chateau Trio!!! Love those three...).
Its name, "Soleil" is just something they found in a book and decided to use for itself. They don't remember its name anymore.
#ariart#ariaoc#isat oc#isat spoilers#theres some danger in the fact that sol took pierres personality too considering that pierre betrayed the party that one time--#honestly if i think about sol harder i begin to realize that theres A LOT of things wrong about them mentally#what forgetting a country with a belief system you were incredibly loyal to does to someone i think.#also making it so that sol was the npc that translated that one issue of the cursing of chateau castle from vaugardian#into the language of the Country. if you were to enter its home. youll be greeted by a LOT of bookcases and shelves and books#and therell be at least 4 of those dedicated to the cursing of chateau castle. original version and the ones they translated#there will ofc be sections where its about the Country tho. actually i think if siffrin visited its home he'll be able to know more#about the Country. if he became close friends enough to be able to enter the rooms with the books of it. sol couldnt read them#anymore but feels as though those books were important so they moved it elsewhere for safekeeping. making sure to maintain it too#also yea you can now see exactly how im pushing the isat worldbuilding to its limits via body craft#i like to think that if in case body craft operates in a similar manner to alchemy in that by Changing something theres an equal#exchange to be given. if its Changing your appearance to a new one then the equal value to be exchanged is the Old appearance#but if for example theres a missing body part. youd have to find Something else of equal value to replace it then#and by going off of that same principle. if a body part has two functions (like with sol's eyes having a special sight to it)#then by Changing its appearance. the equal value follows the same principle of the: exchange Old for New#except that in sol's case. with the addition of a body part that has two functions. technically speaking they can Separate the#two functions while still following the usual method. it's just that now theres another set of eyes on its body. still a New appearance tho
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Where's that post that went "If you're obsessed with hating a famous person it's still a parasocial relationship"
#“Im xyz celebrities' biggest hater” Great! If you dedicate your time to that you will be a great case study of parasocial relationships#Parasocial relationships by themselves are not something to be used as an insult because they're just a type of media interaction#It's not a buzzword. It's a psychological phenomenon#But man#Something about the way that phrase is most commonly used reminds me of how commonly misunderstood codependency is#The semantic drift is significantly worse for 'codependency' but I'm really starting to feel like we're getting there#Okay okay psychology rant over. I'm just rambling#txt
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Fuckit I am not making yet another side blog (at least for the time being) we post story n' ocs on main here You just might get memes and media blorbos and commissionwork and cool art from other ppl sometimes alongside it lol
#Been thinking about spark of the eye and how much muse I have for it#and debated on making a side blog for it but im like... ya know... i dont wanna spread my work too thin ya know??#zodori rambles#I wanna give ppl somethin to sink their teeth into and I want to focus more on it!#If yall dont know what SOTE is it's izarri's story I am working on! It's currently in planning phase but i'm working on a lot rn#I DID nab the tumblr name spark-of-the-eye just in case tho if I ever did want to make a dedicated blog#didnt want someone to nab it first so its mine lol
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lennon and kennedy if it wasn't clear
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Spent the afternoon reorganising to make room for Aigis tomorrow :')
#there was. so much. dust.#i have a lot more free space now though. theres more figs coming so im gonna need it#also no. the cds and game are not in those paper cases. i moved them to better ones. these are just decorative now#i have 3 squares dedicated to prsna now. with another that has a few spillover things in it#tedpost#teddies cabinet of curiosities
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everyone's hopping off the corny train but NOT ME because I wasn't corny enough in my last ask smh
Cuz like I'm gonna be so 100% I always worry that I'm being super annoying by sending you so many asks abt literally fuck all GFHDGFD but I do genuinely like chatting and sharing thoughts w/ you + stream squad its honestly the most welcomed I've felt in a fandom in a LONG time and i'll always be grateful for that <3 Like when I first started posting rgg content (after being pretty much dedicated to an entirely different niche for like years beforehand hgfdgfh) I was worried that it'd just flop and I wouldnt have anyone to talk to (I mean besides eso but WHATEVER) so it's really nice having you + co to share brainrot with c: Also know that you are a blast to watch on stream fr like if you were annoying WHY WOULD I BE ATTENDING EACH AND EVERY ONE EVEN AMIDST MY FUCKED SCHEDULE?? dummy 🙄
Also also even if I don't mention it often enough do bare in mind that all your art is hella inspiring to me both drawn and written like your fics are so yummy my guy they have their own little corner in my brain anyways CORNINESS over (for now at least...)
CORNBALL PART TWO 🗣🗣🗣🗣
YOU WERE PLENTY CORNY IN YOUR FIRST ASK DOOFUS WHAT DO YOU MEAAAAAN ill still be happy to read a second round :]]] LIKE YAY im glad i was able to introduce a fun community to you to bond with <3 even if it was 100% by accident and im still surprised i do have a bundle of people regularly stopping by streams And The Ask Box By Now OOP
SPEAKIN A THE ASK BOX THO I LOVE GETTIN ASKS FROM YOU BRO i love talkin bot fuck all.... its like my specialty what... love logging onto a website where i get to do that for free everyday and talk to cool chums in the process....
should still be illegal to say my works are inspirin das fucked up....... ESPECIALLY MY FICS NOOO DONT LOOK AT THOSE
#snap chats#hope the lil Corner Of The Brain dedicated to my slop is on fire as it should be#BUT THANK YOU my fics always make me want to jump out a window and i always think about deleting lke half of them#but i cant cause for some reason people lke them even tho theyre lke. garbage. at least the older ones are the newer ones are chill I GUESS#IN ANY CASE. cannot wait to make the Art Appreciation segment of this post hilarious as i post some bullshit in a sec#EITHER/OR i'm glad you feel welcomed and cozy <3 ik a lot of times ill want to talk with someone bout a thing i like#but either no one knows what the fuck im on bout or they just dont match my energy/vibe SO#im glad i can make a space like that for people :) somehow :)#i should make a discord but statistically those never go well. plus i think everyones already in one LMAO SO#in any case. stream days are very fun cause even if im sweating buckets on making sure i dont say something too stupid#its very fun gettin to be stupid with other people :)#so thanks team LOL appreciate it forever and always 🤧 now excuse me i have to post something stupid
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Just because you had a bad day doesn't excuse you taking it out on others. But if you do apologize to them you can bet your ass most of them will remember you with respect and compassion.
#I had a near exact situation a few years back#i was making a metal-looking engraved sticker to be put on the back of a lil pic as a dedication#(for whom; for what occasion; from whom and when with some extra text)#and this one customer was being real mean about how I phrased one thing#i think it was about writing 1st Holy Communion instead of First Holy Communion as she wanted#now you see I allow myself for some generally accepted liberties to make the text fit the shape of the sticker better#also writing 1st (here in Poland in Roman numerals as I) in this case is even more popular than First#so I kinda assumed im dealing with some karen because the lady made a big deal about it and was getting real worked up#i kept my emotions to myself and fixed the thing#meanwhile my mom (the boss) attempted to calm her down (saying that it's a quick fix that she won't wait long etc)#i didn't hear it all from the back but the woman basically broke down crying saying she's sorry but she recently lost her son#and really can't deal with anything lately#she paid for both stickers even tho I said there's no need#another guy from a week or so ago#nothing major - he was just stressed from work#he left angry that some leaflets for his wife weren't ready#when he came back later he apologized profusely#so yeah#those who apologize are remebered with respect and compassion#those who don't are just... remembered vaguely as an anecdote at best#still hope those who didn't were just having a rough time and weren't actual certified karens#sztefu talks
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as I grow older I have less and less desire to get married and genuinely do not understand why straight people are obsessed with it
#im still going to do it bc i want me and my partner to be protected in case of emergency but like#we already love each other and are dedicated to each other why would marriage change that?#i just dont understand the “obligation” to get married if you love someone???#obviously i know gay marriage is a big deal and it's something me and my partner might have to struggle with in the future so#i shouldnt be saying “i dont wanna get married” bc its a struggle for people like me. im grateful we can legally be together at all#i just dont GETTTTT the big extravagant straight people weddings 😭 and all the drama about it#kasper yaps
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