#But please be aware that certain topics may be mentioned in every (if not most of my) Valentino posts

[crystalflygeo]

Marks of a warrior ft. Zhongli + gn!reader

cw/tags: hurt/comfort, self-harm mention (reader), scars, pretty suggestive but not full blown smut for once PLEASE these are delicate topics DO NOT READ IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.

notes: Listen, as usual this is very self-indulgent, but also very personal, not everyone may feel like this of course and I hope not to make anyone feel insulted or uncomfortable, I try not to "romanticize" just... some comfort for the depression hours ok?

The satin sheets pool around your waist as you sigh, soft and nervous.

This was… the first time you got this far, and it made your heart skip a beat.

It was very intimate… and intimidating.

And despite that, there was a certain rush of excitement as Zhongli pulled off your clothes. You helped shake them off, a bit clumsily, and blushed as he stares at you.

And now here you are. Clad in just your underwear, shy and sitting on his lap, faces mere inches apart.

Those golden eyes travel over your skin, committing every curve, every mole, every strand of hair, to memory. Zhongli does not only look, he evaluates, he appraises that which he likes or finds fascinating. Studying it and, if enticed enough, the ex-archon’s gaze would turn covetous. Like a dragon wanting to claim and possess a new treasure.

Like how he stares at your right now.

There’s a certain hunger in his eyes and you almost shiver at the intensity of it, averting your eyes and subconsciously bringing up an arm to cover yourself. “D-Don’t just stare, I’m-”

“Beautiful.” He cuts off in a husky low voice that has you shivering for real now. He leans in to plant a kiss at your shoulder, your hands shoot up to his bare chest, curling there and feeling the smooth muscles.

Zhongli trails kisses up your neck, to you jaw, your cheek, your nose and you squeak when you feel his hands explore your body. Large and warm, trey trace your ribcage and brush at your nipples, you sigh.

“All this… just for me.”

You still cannot comprehend how can he look at you like that, with so much love, so much longing. How are you so lucky to have caught the eye and heart of someone so kind, so perfect. A deity, no less.

“Zhongli…”

His hands dip lower, circling your waist and there he finds something. You tense.

His thumb brushes along the scars on your hip and you flinch not-so-subtly.

This is the first time he's seen them.

The first time anyone has seen them.

Dark ugly slashes that you wish you could forget, you could undo.

"Please don't." You mumble urgently, nervous. "I..." Your lips purse together and you frown, conflicted. "I-I'm uncomfortable."

"Alright." Zhongli replies simply, his hands slide up your sides and he leans in to kiss a spot in your chest instead. A bashful smile returns to your face.

His lips meet yours in a slow but heated kiss, you can’t help but want more, be a little demanding. You arms drape around his shoulders and you pull yourself closer. The skin-on-skin contact is electrifying and you moan low.

Breathing each other’s air, pressed so close, so intimately entwined. You lose yourselves in lips and tongue and teeth, in soft hums and small noises and silent smiles.

It's nice, you think, to be so... wanted.

“You act as if you were ashamed. Warriors would often pride themselves on scars.” He says suddenly. “They are a symbol of victory. Another day to live after having faced danger and endured hardship.”

You huff a little, averting your gaze. “I’m h-hardly a warrior… those scars…” You gulp. Surely, he understood…? “They’re not from battle I… I did them myself.” You feel cold creep up your body. Dread. You feel painfully aware of them now, and the pain they bring… the memories.

He hums against your skin, nuzzling there softly. “Ah but that is where you’re wrong, my dear. Those are proof you have faced one of life’s strongest and most difficult enemies, your own dark thoughts. That which cannot be seen, cannot be easily fought, cannot be understood but for the one facing them alone.”

Your breath hitches a little.

“I, for one, I’m glad you’re here today. With me. Glad that you won that battle.” He punctuates every comment with a fleeting kiss, tickling your collarbone. One of his hands rubs at your shoulder, the other is warm on your thigh.

You blink rapidly and press your forehead into his chest, hiding the tears that wet your eyelashes.

How can he be so…

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

You stay silent in his embrace a little longer, as he rubs circles on your back.

“T-Thank you… Zhongli. One day I’ll tell you about it, but… now…”

He shushes you and leans back to lie down on the bed, bringing you along and still staring at you with that same reverence. Your pelvis brush together and you gasp. The warmth is back and growing to a full flame.

And this god, this perfect being splayed here below you…

“It’s fine if you don’t. Don’t feel forced to… you deserve to feel comfortable in your own body, and your scars do not take from who you are, nor they define you.” He cups your cheek, eyes half-lidded. “Don’t think about it now…”

You lean down with a smile and kiss him again.

[genshinfanboy]

His treasure

|Hello everyone who sees this. The reader will be older than Cyno by a few years. This is an au with some Canon references. This is a one-shot so expect it to be long. As always please feel free to change the pronouns to fit your own. Enjoy and have a lovely day or night.

Scenario: Cyno became the king at a young age. As he became an adult there was pressure to marry. Though his gaze only fell upon the one person who was always there for him, who was always by his side for as long as he remembered. The issue was the person was a servant.

King Cyno x Servant Male reader.

Warnings: Mentions of assassinations, minor injuries, spoliers of Cyno's stories, and super long. |

Cyno had been crowned King for several years now. The desert could be considered harsh and there was the constant feuds with the forest neighboring the boarders. There was constant pressure for him to wed and produce an heir incase his fate alligns with his parents. He detested the notion he had to marry a suitor. He didn't want any of them. His gaze only fell on one person. He was amazing in Cyno's eyes. They both had similar morals and stuck to their core principles. The older male had his full trust. He had also been by the young king for so long. Cyno knew he shouldn't have fallen for his attendant but he couldn't help it. His duties are something he can't compromise on. He needed to be hard to keep the throne from corruption and the people safe.

Cyno knew that the other cared about him. Even after he had offered his body as a vessel for a powerful spirit. The older male was there every second tending to the young kings needs. At first Cyno thought it may have been to gain favor from the new king. It was a very common thing among the palace after all. The servant had just been put into the position right before his parents death so he wanted to be safe than sorry. Though the older male did something that very few did after his ascension to the throne he comforted Cyno.

The young king would often wake up from nightmares as the spirt inhabiting his body and his parents death took a toll on him. The servant had become aware of this one night after a really bad dream. Cyno had woken up with a small yelp of fear and panic. The guards didn't hear but his attendant did. It surprised the young king but he later found out the other had a good sense of hearing. From that night on if cyno woken from a nightmare he'd find his loyal attendant by his side and ensuring the young king got back to sleep. Cyno is still certain there's some witch craft at play because his attendant was able to get him to sleep with ease every time a feat his parents couldn't even manage.

Cyno didn't prefer calling those who work for the palace that had been there for awhile servants. He had gained their respect and they gained his. An older one named Cyrus was like a father figure to him. The servants of the palace were good to him. They just had a different fate from the start. After all he was just lucky to be born into royalty. If push came to shove he'd be judged the same as everyone else if he committed a sin. The scales spare no one and that's what he loved about them. They were fair and just no matter position or bloodline. He devoted himself to that line of principles.

Cyno had trained a lot and became one of the strongest fighters to be known. He has to credit some of his strength to an ancient spirit he offered his body too. He was currently in a meeting to discuss and deal with matters. Though none of the information was new. The older advisors had been beating around the bush for a week. They were too stuck on minor issues and wouldn't let him get much of a word in other wise. He started thinking of a joke that may make his attendant laugh finally.

He tuned out most of it as the thought of his beloved filled his mind. Then his thoughts started to become consumed with thoughts of the other. The advisors switched topics to a matter he was already working on. He had consulted Cyrus about the matters earlier that day. He was still paying half attention to what was being said. Though he thought their motives were becoming self servant and he'd have to do an investigation on them soon to determine motives.

Cyno gave a sigh and started to reminisced about (Name). The older male had become his attendant so long ago. He seemed like a more trustworthy advisor than all those at the current meeting. He was also trained to be able to protect the king with both his mind and body. As were most attendants that served the throne before him. The training to become a royal attendant wasn't easy. The young king admired the other's dedication.

(Name) was ready to sacrifice his life for his king. Though Cyno would prefer though the older male would trust his life in the young king's hands. It left a bitter feeling in Cyno as he'd be upset for the other risking his life. His feelings may have clouded his judgement a bit on that thought process. However it was because the other had stolen his heart.

Cyno was constantly talking about the other. So much to the point his mentor who was from another nation as well as his closet friend enjoyed teasing him about it. She was like an older sister to him as Cyrus also treated her like his own child. Lisa would also mention how diligent (Name) was when he was sent to library by Cyno. He'd make sure to get the books and scrolls asked as well as asking her for additional materials that may prove useful.

The advisors had started another argument with each other. He quickly put an end to as they all seemed to be intimidated by him when raising his voice. They went back to talking in a civil manner. He thought a great joke and remember when (Name) first became his attendant he'd live to hear the other's wonderful laughter fill the room from his jokes. It made Cyno prideful to hear genuine laughter rather than the standard forced laughs. That was when he was younger so the laughs could've been amusement rather finding him funny but Cyno would take it. He hadn't heard the laugh for a bit. He'll have to pull out his best jokes to he it again.

If he ever had a problem he knew he could lean on the other. He fell hard when he was in his early teens. That was because the other stood up for the young king. He was lost with very little guidance as several older advisors wished to gain more power in their favor. (Name) made sure they remembered who was the king. There was also that assassination attempt on his life involving his food.

A cook was paid a hefty sum to get rid of the king so one of the advisors could take the throne. (Name) declared to the staff that to ensure their king's safety he'd prepare every meal. His mother had been a royal chef for years and so the attendant learned a lot. The young king greatly loved all of the meals prepared. That had made Cyno fall for the other even more. After all very few would manage to remain firm with that choice.

Cyno was still figuring out how he could wed the older male without any issues. He remembered when he first started falling for the other. He was constantly in the library for his studies. He had to learn a lot in a very short time. He was pushing himself hard after all he was the desert's king now. He had gotten very little sleep. (Name) found him late in the evening with a few light sources and a large stack of books by him.

(Name) frowned seeing his king. He knew the young king hadn't slept for a few nights now and was worried about his health. He walked over determined to coax the light haired male to rest. He grabbed the book from Cyno's hands and marked the page with his bookmark. It was a mourning flower pressed on a small sheet he made himself. "My bookmark will keep your page and I'll put the book on your nightstand so you'll be able to pick up where you left off tomorrow. Tell me what stack you've read and I'll put them away while you rest. Then set aside those that you haven't." He stated keeping the book away from the young king.

Cyno tried reaching for it but his height proved to be an obstacle. "(Name) give that back now this is an order. I have no time to rest. The forest and Akademiya are both becoming pressing matters. I still need to learn about our other political ties and....." He started to argue and was cut off with a finger to his mouth. His eyes widened after his brain caught up with the action. Since he'd become king everyone had just put his thoughts first.

"You're no use to anyone if you deprive yourself of sleep and press yourself until you can't anymore. Your health may not be your priority but it is mine. So we can do this the easy way or I am going to pick you up take you to your room and sort through your piles of books myself. I will help you get ready for bed and everything but I refuse to allow you to continue on this destructive path." (Name) stated with a sigh. He gave a stern look to his king showing there was no room for debate.

For some reason Cyno's heart began speeding up. He saw his attendant in a different light. The older male made his stomach feel like there was a swarm of butterflies in it. His cheeks dusted a light pink and he started wondering if there was something wrong with him. That was the day he learned of a different kind of love. He stood up from his seat and resigned to listening to his attendant.

Cyno quickly pointed to which stacks he had read and which ones he still needed to review. He got a nod and soft smile. He had no clue what feelings had begun forming at the time. He felt his exhaustion catching up to him and start swaying. His attendant was quick to pick up on it. Cyno put his hand on a nearby book self not thinking about the weight he'd put on it.

The case shook a bit and the next thing he knew was there was several books falling. His reaction time was significantly dulled from his lack of sleep and he froze in place. He didn't feel pain though. It took him a second to realize (Name) pulled him into his warm embrace and took the force of the books that fell. "Are you ok my King?" Cyno was shaken much like the book shelf originally. He didn't typically like being called "my king" but coming from the older male made his heart stutter.

The meeting was starting to drag on and on. The advisors talking themselves in circles. He wondered how his parents dealt with any of their round about ways of talking. He gave a small sigh to himself. He turned his full attention to the advisors wanting the meeting to be nearing its end.

"King Cyno we need you to pick a spouse soon." One of his advisors said finally addressing the King. "May I suggest my daughter? She is exceptional and would perhaps suit your tastes." Cyno had to refrain from rolling his eyes. "There is nothing to gain for anyone except for you if I marry your daughter." He stated matter of factly. He could tell that angered the advisor. While the others agreed with him.

"A political marriage between him and the princess of flowers Nilou would be a better choice." Another advisor piped up. Cyno crossed his arms this meeting had turned pointless. "If that's all you have left to discuss this meeting is over. I don't want to hear another word about it." He said firmly the conference room was silent after his statement. He stood up. "Alright then this meeting is over and I'll be going to attend to my other duties."

Cyno left the room without another word. He was a bit irritated to say the least. He went to some of the matra that worked under him to look into his current advisors. The power of the throne had all be transferred to him. He can finally start weeding out the corruption for the betterment of the people. He was also planning on meeting some diplomats from the forest to start working on peace with them. He felt a bit at peace knowing their God will be at the meeting.

He pinched the bridge of his nose for a second before walking to his room. He heard a confrontation going on in the hallway approaching his room. He sighed before making his way to the voices. "I am not trying to poison the king. Now move out of my way." Cyno started walking faster to confirm if the person talking was indeed his loyal attendant. When he turned the corner his suspicion was true. The older male didn't notice him. She had grabbed on to him very harshly. "Please let go you're going to make me drop the king's food and you're starting to hurt my wrist."

"King Cyno! Thank goodness you're here. This servant here put something in your food. It was a powdery substance that he mixed in at the end it looked nothing like seasonings. I'm positive he's trying to poison you." Cyno looked at the girl. She was the daughter of the advisor that spoke earlier. He looked between the two. "Considering he's the only one allowed to touch my food I highly doubt it. Also go to a guard next time don't be a fool. Your father probably told you to get on my good side however assaulting my most trusted attendant isn't the way to do it." Cyno's tone was definitely a bit irritated.

"Also dealing with an attempted assassination by yourself is foolish and a way to get yourself killed. Next time talk to a guard. Come on (Name)." Cyno stated watching her quickly let go of the other and back up. She looked like a fish out of water watching the two walk away as though one of them had just slapped her.

The two made it to Cyno's room and (Name) set down the tray on the table in the room. He grabbed the older Male's hand and inspected his wrist. "Good she didn't seem to have left a bruise or a mark. Now (Name) care to tell me what extra ingredient you put into my food?" He said. He absolutely surprised the other. Though cyno knows he puts seasonings in as he cooks to infuse the flavors. I've watched you enough times to know." Cyno said staring deeply into the other's eyes scanning for any hint of a lie.

(Name) sighed. He gave a small smile knowing he couldn't lie. "You said you were feeling under the weather so I contacted your doctor penpal from the forest. I've also noticed your nightmares have returned. So I had made what he recommended after consulting some of the palaces doctors. You're stubborn when it comes to your health my king so I was planning on sneaking it into your food. I made sure nothing would do you harm." He answered. He had a look of surprise when Cyno stepped closer invading his personal space a bit

"I see. Would you mind getting me the book I was reading earlier? I left it in my study. Its the same one I asked you for earlier. I want to sit down for a bit and enjoy the food you prepared." Cyno responded stepping away. He walked towards the couch. "Of course my king." He said once the words left his mouth the young king once again felt the butterflies. His cheeks dusted pink as the other left.

(Name) walked into the study and picked up the book. After he grabbed it he noticed a bookmark that looked familiar. He picked it up and inspected it. After picking it up he came to the realization that it was his bookmark. He always wondered what happened to it but then remembered that night in the library. It seemed Cyno had kept it after he placed it in his book.

He made his way back to his king's room. He knocked before getting permission to enter. "It seems I have to mark you as a thief my king." He said walking over and handing cyno and the book making. He made sure to put emphasis on the word mark. He saw the king's eyes lighten a bit. "That joke was bad. All these years and you have no sense of humor. You left it in my book after taking it away from me. Consider it compensation." Cyno responded.

He felt his heart racing when he heard (Name) give a small giggle. He looked over and saw the other with a smile. He felt now or never was the time to admit his feelings. "I should put you under arrest for stealing." He stated making the older male confused. "After all one's heart can be considered their greatest treasure." He said with a blank expression. They'd have a lot to navigate but the bookmark was his greatest treasure as it came from the one he loved. They'd have to work around stuff and he was planning on just adopting a child to raise as his heir. He wanted to be with (Name) and end the discussions him getting married. As to him there was only one person who could own his heart. His most valuable treasure belongs to (Name) alone.

[pandoraslxna]

Aging up characters and questionable content

Theres a lot of drama going on in the avatar fandom and I just wanted to elaborate my opinion on this, since it affects me and my works too.

I‘m trying to be as respectful as possible and chose my words wisely because I really don’t want to get canceled or upset people.

First of all, I just want to make it clear that everyone is entitled to have their own opinion, especially about sensitive topics like these and I fully respect that!

I have a few mutuals and I also follow a handful of other great authors who consider aging up minor characters as questionable and that’s absolutely fine with me. As long as you don’t treat me as less than a human, you will always have my full respect. I‘m always trying to be friendly to everyone and I obviously still support your works, even if we don’t share the same opinion on this.

I also don’t force them or literally anyone to consume my content and I know that some of my mutuals (probably most) only follow me for my fics about characters that are canonly adults (Jake, Quaritch, Tonowari, etc…) and I don’t mind that either.

I do my best to make sure that my fics are tagged properly, that I use the correct content warnings and also the 'read more' option, so everyone who’s not interested in certain posts can simply ignore them. I’m also always up for constructive criticism and please don’t hesitate to let me know if I didn’t include any important warnings on my fics or if there are any triggers that I forgot to mention.

What I’m trying to say is: I appreciate if people just scroll past content they’re not interested in. If I can do it, you can do too. No matter how questionable some fics may be, nobody is forcing you to consume them. As long as the author tags their fics properly, of course!

Which is why I‘m also speaking up to every author out there: tag your fic properly! Make sure people can avoid your works if they contain anything that could be triggering– that goes from soft to explicit smut, to non-con, to dub-con and to literally any kinks, AU’s and tropes there are. Give your readers a warning beforehand, so they know what they’re about to consume. And please, please, please make sure to use the 'read more' option on tumblr (this is very important to me personally too)! And if someone points out that there are warnings or tags missing on your fics, please appreciate that they’re reaching out to you, I‘m sure their intentions were good. It really doesn’t hurt to include some more tags, even if they seem 'unnecessary' to you -> better safe than sorry!

Just be mindful of each other and treat everyone with respect, so we can all avoid any unwanted and most of all unnecessary drama and enjoy this fandom together.

Now, back to the main topic of this post:

I personally don’t view this type of content (or myself) as predatory or necessarily wrong, just because the characters are aged up. I‘m fully aware that sexualizing minors is wrong and it’s not my intention to create sexual scenarios about underage characters! To me, this is all just fiction. They’re not real. They’re literally blue aliens lol. I also consume and produce dark content like non-con and even stepcest au‘s, but that is something I would never ever support or want to experience in real life!!! I really can’t stress this enough, this is just fictional to me. And just because I age up characters or think they’re attractive in the movie, doesn’t mean I’m attracted to minors in real life. (I‘m not even attracted to guys that are only a year younger than me…)

I‘m also not aging them up to make myself feel better or because I think it makes the whole situation morally right, I’m aging them up because I’m only attracted to guys that are my age (or even older), which is basically the complete opposite of a pedophile as far as I know (?). I really hope that somehow makes sense and I’m not digging my own grave here…

However, I really can’t say this enough: I am absolutely fine that people have different opinions about that and if you’re following me and I ever post something that makes you uncomfortable, even if we’re mutuals/friends, you can unfollow or block me! I just want people to be comfortable on my blog and don’t force anyone to see content that is triggering to them or goes against their believes.

What I don’t support however, is people making fun of others publicly. Talk however you want about my work in private, idc. You can send me a DM if you want to say something, but please don’t encourage others to make fun of me, my works or others.

If you ever accidentally read something, because let’s say the author didn’t mention certain kinks / tropes or literal anything that’s triggering to you beforehand— reach out to them in private. And authors on the other hand, should be mindful of the content that they create and give people the option to avoid them. But please don’t cause public drama, don’t cause a literal witch-hunt. Online bullying can really fuck up peoples lives and mental health.

I think most drama could’ve been avoided if people were just more respectful towards one another and would handle things in private.

I really really hope that I chose the right words for this, as someone who’s not fluent in english it can be so hard to defend myself or get my point across lol

Last but not least, I just want to say thank you, especially to all my mutuals who continue to be respectful towards me, even if they have other opinions regarding the aging up of characters and all that. I‘m just glad that you’re here and chose to enjoy my other works instead. ❤️

[the-s1lly-corner]

Attention TADC fans!

I'm officially opening requests for characters! Below the cut will be my base list of rules in regards to requesting and that sort of thing!

To everyone who followed me for creepypasta, do not fret! Creepypasta is still this blogs default and I'm not going to stop writing it for the forseeable future, I will still be responding to creepypasta based asked in the meantime

oh also, im adding this right before i post this but i do have fluff alphabet requests open for creepypasta, but to my TADC fans, how do you guys feel about the possibility of me reposting that list and letting you guys ask for it? im still kinda itching to do alphabet stuff... let me know ! ill probably do it anyways but i want yalls input!

without further delay:

RULES:

please do not spam requests, i know it will be hard to enforce this on my end since i want to keep anon enabled since i know it can be intimidating to ask for stuff non-anonymously

since the main cast + caine only totals to 7 characters i will allow people to request the entire cast in any given request, WITH THE KNOWLEDGE that the more characters the shorter their list of hcs will be

please do not pester me to answer your request, i will very likely answer your initial ask. consistent breaking of this boundary will result in warning, and if further boundary breaking takes place, the request will be terminated

^SHOULD NOTE! sometimes tumblr eats the requests you guys send in so simply asking if your request made it through is 100% totally fine!! I'm specifically talking about people who try to pressure me to answer sooner, I want to make that clear because I do not want to discourage anyone from reaching out about that sort of thing

Reader is GN by default, you can request a specific gender but know it likely wont be important due to my writing style

WILL WRITE:

SFW, angst, comfort, hcs, short imagines and scenarios!

As mentioned I will do all characters, asides Bubble since I don't think there's much that can be done for them

Poly, LGBT, readers with disabilities and/or disorders (will let it be known here that i am in no way well versed in every disability/disorder, however i will attempt to do basic research for the request)

I am also comfortable with writing platonic requests and found family dynamics! I am not limiting myself and you guys to romantic stuff!

reader abstracting, while this may seem contradictory to some of the things in my will not write segment I have written about grief and loss before and I don't think it fully fits the category of what I won't write + death in general, so it shall get a pass

really there isnt much i will turn down that comes to mind, if something is breaching a line or making me uncomfortable i will let you know

reader inserts, ocs, and the like are all welcome here! im not too confident with oc x character stuff due to the simple fact that i fear i may interpret your oc wrong but i am still willing to try!

WILL NOT WRITE:

general problematic stuff is an immediate no

^so like, straight up abuse and abuse adjacent topics since as far as Im aware all the characters in TADC are adults (if I have that wrong please please correct me!!)

i am also iffy on yandere requests, this one is more on a case by case basis so please be sure to specify the intensity of it, since that will really be a make or break for whether or not if the request is accepted

NSFW, this blog is for the most part SFW. I occasionally vague certain aspects, however nothing is ever explicit. That's how far I'm willing to go with these things and I want to keep it that way

Full fledged fanfics; a lot of my scenarios/imagines tend to border on that just on a much shorter scale and in a slightly different format, but I am not totally confident in my ability to write proper fics :(

no graphic depictions of gore or self harm, and i ask that you keep that out of my inbox in general. topics like SH are allowed, however covering requests for the act of it as its happening is an automatic no (IE if you ask me to walk in on a character walking in during an act of self harm), the same applies to suicide

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

i have a nasty habit of not proofreading my stuff, so grammar and spelling mistakes are bound to happen unfortunately. this tends to be a worse issue when im posting on mobile (which i am doing less and less since i like typing on a keyboard more)

^ on top of that i struggle with writing, english is my first language but i have a hard time getting stuff out right on top of having dyslexia so please be patient

i typically tend to respond to requests fairly fast, typically within a day or two, though i do have some periods where it may take longer. (possible) same day delivery YAHOO!!

back to a forewarning, i have a habit of rambling and adding additional ideas and concepts into a request though for the most part i think i remain on topic (that just means you get a little extra content for your request ueueue)

[solarisgod]

I’m sorry if this is disrespectful at all, but how did the cluster realize they were OSDDID?

Hello, Anonstar! This is a fantastic question, not disrespectful at all, no worries! Thank you so much for giving us an opportunity to talk about the Starwake System with xyr DID more! We have a post that entails general information of xyr condition here for an additional reference. While we will answer this question and cover few related topics around the Starwake System's DID, we will also be providing information with our own personal understanding and experiences with OSDDID to support certain details in the answer, as listed below:

 ⁰ Based on our own personal experiences and / or understanding with OSDDID.  ¹ Dissociative Identity Disorder Research (n.d.). DID Basics: Presentation.  ² Boyer, S. M., Caplan, J. E., & Edwards, L. K. (2022). Trauma-Related Dissociation and the Dissociative Disorders: Neglected Symptoms with Severe Public Health Consequences.  ³ Dissociative Identity Disorder Research (n.d.). DID Origin: Synthesis.  ⁴ Dissociative Identity Disorder Research (n.d.). DID Identity Alteration: Time Loss, Black Outs, and Co-consciousness.  ⁵ Encyclopedia of Psychology (n.d.), Dissociative Barriers.

* Content warning note : This answer mentions ableism, general child abuse and distress, car accidents; deaths, mental health related denial, misdiagnoses, and general traumas; so please read with caution.

Before we answer the questions of how the main Starwakers realized they have DID and were aware of each other's existences, it's important to first know the details of how the Starwake System's Dissociative Identity Disorder was formed, as provided from the study post that was shared above, along with the " basis " of OSDDID :

The first known alter is Micah Xenowake who developed Dissociative Identity Disorder when xe was five years old. Xyr mind fragmented from two to five due to the extreme stress Micah experienced in constantly moving between multiple foster homes, with the frequent changes happening in a short amount time of xyr life while feeling like a stranger in many homes, as well as xe faced every forms of abuse and neglect in several past families. From these events for three years, xe experienced episodes of dissociation and depersonalization before xe split off Phoebus, formerly known as Lyght, during a case when xe was trapped in a dark locked basement as forced to sleep there for the first time.

OSDDID is a mental condition that exists essentially to protect the individual from continuous distress and traumas while it can give them the necessities that people in the world have failed to provide. The quote, likely from this Tumblr post : ❝ I think ultimately you become whoever would have saved you that time that no one did ❞ is one of the best ways to explain OSDDID on its essential core.

Generally, in most cases, OSDDID have a covert nature and it is difficult to recognize in a person ( DIDR, n.d. )¹. This is to avoid danger and maintain protection within the system and the main fronting individual themself from traumatic events or external factors that is a threat to the system's and / or fronter's wellbeing ( i.e. abusers )⁰. Although there are severe health consequences that impact various life aspects in the long run from self identity and wellbeing, to personal relationship and academic studies, etcetera, OSDDID is meant to save the child, having symptoms like amnesia that acts as a defence mechanism to help them lose memories of traumas and dissociation as a form of psychiatric escape from traumas they can't physically retreat from ( Boyer et al, 2022 )².

Multiple alters exist in most systems, although depending on the alter's source ( that brought them into existence via splitting ), history, and role functions, as well as the system's level of amnesiac barriers and their current living conditions, they may not be partially to fully aware of some other alters or everyone else in the system ( DIDR, n.d. )⁴. This is generally because of the dissociative barriers that exist between the alters, which are psychological barriers that obstruct an individual’s ability to access memories or emotions related to an event, usually of traumatic nature ( EOP, n.d. )⁶. The barriers may prevent one alter to be aware of another, but some alters can develop certain degree of co-consciousness, ❝ the ability for two or more alters to remain present in the body or aware of the outside world at once ❞ ( DIDR, n.d. )⁴.

| Explanation of " Co-consciousness Levels " from the Dissociative Identity Disorder Research ( n.d. ) :

❝ [ . . . ] Co-consciousness is not necessarily extended to all alters. It may be that Alters A and B are always co-conscious with each other, but only Alter A can be co-conscious with Alter C. Meanwhile, Alter D may be able to watch the other alters although the others are not aware of Alter D and their activities in return, and Alter E might not be aware of any of the other alters nor any of the other alters aware of Alter E! Finally, Alters F and G might be co-conscious with each other but have to leave post-it notes for the rest of the system in order to communicate, and Alter H might be co-conscious with Alter A only some of the time or under certain conditions while Alter I has the ability to allow or not allow others to be co-conscious with them as they choose ( para. 5 ). ❞

Even though an alter is aware of the fronting alter who doesn't know they exist, depending on the system's current living environment and circumstances, the alter may not reveal themself to the fronter for many reasons from protecting the fronter and / or system while avoiding jeopardizing them, not feeling safe and comfortable enough for their existence to be known, to not finding it necessary for them to be a direct part of the system's life while they only prioritize internally stabilizing the system.⁰ However, the fronting alter may experience " partial intrusions " without knowledge or understanding of the sources if that alter is also present ( DIDR, n.d. )⁴. OSDDID having the covert nature in general explains why most systems don't realize they have OSDDID until later in life, especially at the age of twenties to even thirties.⁰

Re : The Starwake System's DID discovery and awareness, Micah was the one who got the official diagnosis from xyr OSDDID specialist and therapist when the system in April 2023, the time when Micah and Adoniram had a car accident from an unknown cause. Micah tried to save Adoniram who was trapped in the seatbelts as their car was upside down with the oil spilled out, but before xe could get him out, Phoebus fronted, seizing full control of their body, and abandoned him to protect the system and especially xem, forcing Micah to experience a blackout before xe " woke up " on xyr hospital bed, learning that Adoniram disappeared ( but was declared dead by the officials when his body couldn't be find a few weeks of search and rescue after ).

It's important to note Astereus / the Starwake System was misdiagnosed three times : ( 1. ) Borderline Personality Disorder at age fifteen, ( 2. ) Bipolar Disorder at sixteen, ( 3. ) and eighteen with Schizophrenia while being told Dissociative Identity Disorder wasn't real. In addition, when Micah was eight, xyr amnesia and time losses from the blackouts was believed to be linked to extreme fatigue due to sleeping poorly, having insomnia. There was little information on DID nor general dissociative disorders at the time when Astereus grew up, hence, not many non-professional and professional people could understand xyr experiences nor have the knowledge to see the symptoms are based on dissociation and dissociative identity.

Micah's close friend and occasional detective partner, Daniel Darling, have OSDD-1, a partial form of DID, and after Micah shared xyr experinces of time and memory loses to him, from sharing similar experiences, he said xe could have OSDDID. For seventeen years since xyr third attempt of diagnose, Micah believed xe have Schizophrenia and xe was hesitate to seek diagnosis for the fourth time, but from Adoniram's first death that Micah have painfully failed to prevent it from happening because of the blackout, this gave Micah the push to reach out to xyr art and music therapist, Alyx, who referred xem to the OSDDID specialist and then finally, at the age of mid thirties, xyr DID therapist confirmed xe does have DID after all.

With the other main earliest known Starwakers' DID realization and awareness :

Phoebus : They have always known Micah since they were created, being co-conscious with them as Micah was in distress from being trapped in the basement that was completely dark. Because Phoebus have the main responsibilities of ensuring safety and stability within the Starwake System, they were able to keep close track of the system changes and alter creations while their co-consciousness developed further over time. From this, they were able to learn Philos' and Phobos' existences. Before, Phoebus couldn't understand how they and Micah shared the same body, but they had a strange tugging feeling akin to protectiveness with Micah that made them focus more on being with Micah rather than dwelling on the wondering of " what they are ".

Philos : In the beginning, she didn't know other alters existed until some weeks later since she came into existence, she met Phoebus in their internal world, although Philos only viewed Phoebus as an " imaginary friend ". It was when Phobos came around, Philos then came to a thought that there was " something wrong " with them, but wasn't sure how to describe this position. Philos met Phobos some time later out of curiosity, being drawn to its sharp and aggressive personality. Philos learnt Micah's existence at the same time as Phobos.

Phobos : Phobos also had no awareness of the other alters in the beginning, but at a certain point met Philos who sometimes visited it via sharing co-consciousness. Phobos thought Philos was a ghost possessing their body, but didn't make a huge deal about it when Phobos thought it was cool to have a ghost, even though it thought Philos himself was annoying to be with. Phobos learnt about Phoebus and Micah when they were a preteen, Phoebus co-fronting to stop it from retaliating one of Micah's and Adoniram's bullies who hurt them. Phobos didn't care about what they are or have to make them share a single body as long as it can have some freedom interacting with the outside world.

Ultimately, Micah was the only main Starwaker in the system who didn't have complete awareness of having other alters until xe was in mid thirties. The reasons Phoebus, Philos, and Phobos kept their existences hidden from Micah, even after a point when Micah was fully independent and free of continuous stress and danger, are that Phoebus felt as it'd be best to give Micah the most " normal and peaceful " life as possible that xe couldn't have when xe was younger, originally seeing this life they share was Micah's rather the whole system's. Phoebus was also afraid if Micah knew about their existences, xe'd shun them and learning the fact xe have DID would distress xem, which was a case as xe was in denial for a few months, having strained relationships with the others and especially Phoebus, before xe came to terms with xyr DID and everyone improved on communicating and connecting with each other since.

Although it took a very long time for the Starwake System to finally have the answer to what they'd go through from xyr DID, and the answer was overwhelming for especially Micah, they're all still most grateful they would find the time when they could understand their DID and each other more to hold a healthier and stronger system.

[unfunnyaceartist]

I love the internet

Its just some people on here that I dislike.

I think the internet was an incredible thing to happen that changed countless lives across the globe! It makes things easier. You can find people who understand you, share creations, share interests, share thoughts, buy, sell, show, perform, comfort people, help people, make friends, get support, start a business, spread awareness, and much more! Its a powerful tool that is often underappreciated. It is a PRIVILEGE. Not a right.

Now there are some people who use the internet to harm rather than help. Some choose the veil of anonymity to harass people. Some abuse and manipulate people. Some share hateful or inappropriate content, even though they're well aware of children on the internet.

With all of the amazing advantages technology brought us, came people who sought to use it in overall not good ways. Now more than ever its easier to come across something traumatic, inappropriate, cruel, scary, manipulative, illegal, and horrific things. All it takes is one wrong click for a child in elementary school to stumble across 18+ websites. All it takes is one typo to ruin a persons innocence. All it takes is one "prank" to traumatize someone. Im grateful my parents limited my internet access as a child. I know for a fact I would have stumbled upon some stuff that would have near irreversibly altered my mind. Lots of totally cool and normal things exist for certain audiences that arent really unethical, but the thing is, a lot of sites wont make sure of age. Most just have you click a checkbox that you are 18 or older. Its irresponsible in my opinion.

I'm going to make one example of my last point using a game im very familiar with that isnt a huge issue: Doki Doki Literature Club. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!! also this is so unlike me lmao. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I GOT ANYTHING WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM BAD AT WRITING SO HFUKJSGJh

It is a FANTASTIC indie psychological horror game with many interesting aspects and dark topics. The problem? Its marketed as a dating simulator with a cutesy style. A kid who failed to read more or heard from a friend saying to check it out as a prank (the latter happened to me) can easily download the original free game. Well, no biggie, right? It has a warning at the beginning, so it should be fine, right? Wrong. Lets take a look at the disclaimers.

Do you see that? "This game is not suitable for children or those who are easily disturbed" and "Individuals suffering from anxiety or depression may not have a safe experience playing this game." Now Ive played this game more times than I can count. Ive done every route, ive gotten every ending, i've gotten every secret,I even used to have a lot of the dialogue memorized, so trust me when I say, yes, this game can be incredibly unsettling at times, but its not the worst thing one can encounter. However its easily accessible as its completely free. The issue with the warning screens is a few things. One, you literally can just click through them without reading them like many do. Two, people may only skim the text or not care enough to go to the link. Three, IT DOES NOT SPECIFY WHAT IS DISTURBING!!! Lets take another look at the first warning: "This game is not suitable for children or those who are easily disturbed". Well, this game is marketed as a a cute highschool dating sim. For all parents or children know it could just be a bit spicy, and I know from experience, kids usually think they're grown enough to handle these things. What if a child goes in expecting a makeout scene when they go to Sayoris room to check on her before the festival only to find her corpse? Now what about the other warning? "Individuals suffering from anxiety or depression may not have a safe experience playing this game." And then it gives a link for content warnings. yes, this is better than the first IMMENSELY but the problem still stands that for all they know it could just have high stress parts or mention things like abuse or breakups or intercourse which can be triggering to some, and lets be honest, how many kids do you think will actually go to the website to read the content? Probably little to none unless their guardian figure makes them. I played this game in late fifth grade, and I thought I was practically an adult. Oh how wrong I was, BUT THATS OFF TOPIC. It would be much more beneficial and logical to just say 'this game covers dark, disturbing, and triggering topics and contains graphic content.' or something along those lines, OR EVEN VERIFY THEIR AGE. Without proper research an elementary schooler who was pranked by their friends (like me) could easily be traumatized. Im very glad I did research on it prior to my gameplay.

MY POINT IS THE INTERNET NEEDS MORE SAFETY AND STUFF BUT NOTHING STUPID LOL OKAY BYE SORRY FOR THE ABRUPT ENDINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

[internalself]

i read your piece on transdisability and trace, and it explained things well for me- you are good at explaining things in depth. however, i have a question on the topic of trans race (as a black person who also uses a transid label). please don't take this in bad faith. i hold no hatred for those who id as trace. i'm just curious about things regarding it, and how to understand! sorry if anything is worded oddly.

how would a person trans race (whether poc2white, poc2poc, white2poc) go about expressing their incongruence in a way that Doesn't come off as/is.... racist? for example, as someone who partially identifies as an animal, sometimes i express this by wearing animal ears or talking about things that relate them back to how i am an animal, or how ive experienced these things that animals do. but how nonhuman animals and animals cultures exist are wildly different.

however, if a transrace person wanted to express their racial incongruence by wearing things closed off to members not apart of that culture (like certain native american items such as the headdress being closed off to non natives, or in the black community it being looked down upon for nonblacks/whites to wear braids in the way we do as them having ties to slavery & tribes across the sub saharan as well as nonblacks being able to face less repercussions wearing our hair vs us facing them) would that not be.... wildly inappropriate to do? or be racist if they were doing things related to the race they see themself as, such as emulating closed cultural things or speaking of the experiences of (bodily) x race folks as if it were their own, or even wishing they had experienced them?

im aware race is a social construct and its function is to oppress and separate, but it can come off as odd when people aren't that race try to take claim of those cultures and races, whenever (in the case of poc2poc/white2poc, or even otherace2 white ethnic groups such as the sami) these people tend to have already had so much of that culture taken away from them, typically by the dominant racial group. from what i see i feel like it'd veer less into possibly racist territory for trace folks to context with other cultures that aren't theirs without taking claim to them, or even making desires to have different features like a different skin type or hair type known without trying to take claim to an ethnic grouping or other race. but then again... i don't know trace people, only vaguely observed. I'm just wondering how in these circumstances would People who identify as trace not just be racist. I'm sorry that this got super wordy! I'm just curious and went off on a tangent on how i viewed it and all. have a nice day!

This ask has taken me a while. Because it's very long, at least on mobile. In the future, I'd really appreciate asks with multiple questions to be cut into smaller asks, or things that can be condensed to be condensed at least with a TLDR. this has been making my executive dysfunction... do what it does best.

(Not mad)

Further, when I mention race in here (and all my posts) I mean cisrace unless I specify trace people specifically. If you get triggered or dysphoric by talking very bluntly about race like I will be, this may not be the post to read.

I also want to note I'm always a little hesitant to touch on the topic of trace & similar race & ethnicity inconcruence. It's probably the most controversial and it's easy to troll and target, and it forces me to release more information about myself than I'm super comfortable with? If that makes sense.

Race is also a very... subjective and touchy topic generally that many people have different experiences with unlike age and species. So a LARGE part of this is just me bouncing ideas off the wall to hope they break some bricks. There's no right or wrong answer. My opinion on this subjective topic is not the one truth. Especially because not every trace person is the same, and will navigate their identity differently.

I want to start answering this with a correction real quick. You mention war bonnets, i assume when talking abt an ambiguous headress.

1. Clarify next time. "Headdress" is not a n8v only word, it generally is a word for any head-dress... in other words, ordimental hats.

2. There's no "Native American culture" we have MANY cultures. War bonnets are plains tribes pieces. Further, they're so closed that not just anyone can wear one. I wouldn't. It would be like saying any Christian can just walk up to the pope and steal and wear his hat. Like, most wouldn't do that because they understand that's a hat that is specific to someone's job connected to spirituality. (I only use this comparison because it's an easy thing to invision.)

3. Appropriation does not necessarily come from the action done, but benefits gained. Non native people can own spiders web charms! They're not closed to specific people who earn them, or a part of sensitive ceremonies. It's a baby's thing. The issue comes when non native companies start selling dreamcatchers and outcompeteting native sellers. The issue of appropriation happens here because native people are hated for having our cultures, and suffer for that- but what is seen as "consumable" and "marketable" from us can be sold while we continue to face an ongoing genocide. That's the issue.

4. I'm not black, so correct me here if I'm wrong. But the way appropriation fits in here is explained similar. White people wearing black styled braids or dreads often do so because it's "trendy" or to fill some other kind of social niche they will benefit from- while black people wearing the hairstyles will be still discriminated against for it. A white woman with cornrows has a better chance to be picked up for a job than a black woman with cornrows because of racism at play, but when like so commonly these days, random pieces of mostly black American culture is scraped for trends for mostly white people, the white woman may benefit online from the "trend"- and at the end of the day she can just go back to her natural hair styles, while the black woman wears it to protect her hair and keep it healthy, and can't just have "white hair" any day. The white person can safely benefit from the trend and kick it to the curb to be "outdated" whenever, which the black people who had it scraped from is now forced to deal with the fallout of- and usually face MORE lash back from people now that it's "outdated."

The differences here and a few things I want to point out are...

The trace person isn't doing this by trend we can assume. (While I can't encourage styling your hair in ways that aren't meant for your texture and may damage your hair and scalp) this person is also likely to face social knockback.

Not all trace people choose to take /any/ steps to transition. I'm not shaming those who do things to validate themselves, but many choose not to, this kind of interaction is not necessary and therefore shouldn't be held to trace people as a whole, but rather to the individual depending on your personal feelings on the topic. I am trans species and I don't personally clothe myself in any way that validates that... it does nothing for my dysphoria. Many trace people are similar. Ask yourself if you think transgender people are controversial to yourself if they choose to transition physically because the patriarchy exists.

Not all trace people are white, so we can't really approach these with this binary "white people vs everyone else" view.

Not all trace people are trace to an existing or any race. Many people consider themselves raceless in different ways or not having a human race, or a race from a fictional setting, etc. Hard to appropriate when your race is "wolf."

I really can't speak much on the idea of white 2 poc trace people- its not my experience and I don't know much about it.

I feel like a lot of this can be summed up with the help of asking yourself if you see them as valid or not. Because if you see a trace w2poc person as still white and don't validate them, you're gonna see a lot of these issues the same way people claim transgender people are "appropriating being a woman." Even if they claim to be understanding they'll still insist a trans woman as a man. Would it be tone deaf for a trans woman to say she wished she experienced more misogyny? Yeah it could probably feel that way. It's all ill say on that, because I have not ever been nor am I a woman, and I've never wished my experiences with race was worse. While I can understand how someone may find it validating (even negative attention is attention, and after being starved of attention towards a silent facet of yourself, you may crave anything), it can be upsetting to see though. It's less of a real wish from what I've seen, and more a cry of "anyone, anything, can anyone see me? Even if you hate me?"

I absolutely do believe that all trans identities should be treated softly and with an understanding about the violence of the walls we've put up in the past. But just like how being transgender has intersections with sexism... I feel like we need to talk about a controversial statement I'm about to make.

I believe there's an intersection of transness and race. (And disability but this is not the topic/time for that.)

Let's look at the way people react to well known trace people. Oftentimes, immediate disgust. The transphobia, same as ever exists in this intersection to say, "look at this crazy person! They think they can change the way they are! They're wrong and deviant!" But racism is also present. Almost always, especially from white crowds, there's a surge of racism flung at the individual- under the guise of "gross I hate transness!"

I've seen people describe the intersection of transphobia and misogyny as "transphobes treat trans people they way they wish they could treat cis women. Because they see them as women just enough to be misogynistic and violent, and trans enough to justify that." And I want to say I think similarly, many people treat trace people poorly the way they wish they could treat other races, or even their own. It's an excuse to be racist. A trans->black person will be seen as black enough to be hated for their blackness, and trans enough to be considered a joke.

I will also finish off here by saying I am not uncritical of the actions of much of the community. I've vented to people before about how it can be frustrating to see people waltz in and act in ways that put a bad taste in my mouth. But I've also interacted with lots of very good faith trace people who are very mindful and understanding of their identity. The loudest voices are trolls, and it concerns me moving into a time where transid is becoming slightly more visible that people are almost entirely unable to ignore bait or recognize trolling. I have seen genuine people who are... interesting in the way they choose to interact with race.. but I chalk them up to being uneducated and kids most of the time.

For the most part I see this with transjapanese people who's only exposure to the idea of being Japanese is anime, usually children's anime as well, which gives them a really skewed perspective on the racial experience. I've also met people who have a very in depth knowledge they've gathered from respectfully asking others, reading articles and stories by others, etc. It's usually just a victim of misinformation, lack of information and confusion of the topic.

I also want to point out how in different countries, different experiences can exist. Going back to the idea of transjapanese people, a lot of people begin to pull comparisons to the experiences of asian americans.. but we live in a world where Japanese people in Japan /are/ the majority, and /are/ the preferred race of many in the country when it comes to race based bigotry. A white person absolutely could suddenly find themselves treated poorly for their race in japan as soon as they're anything other than a tourist. It's worth noting the way race works outside of America. A lot of discussions tend to focus here, but the American experience with race is not a universal one. A Japanese person in Japan is not likely to be called an English slur for Asian people. In other countries, that may change.

The topic of nativeness and blackness are both very unique in their foundation in America and that American foundation being about suffering. But I also feel like they're special in their lack of very clear cut borders.

While it's a hot topic, nativeness is hard to define. Blood quantum is a twisted tool of white supremacy, there is no "percentage when you stop being native." Lacking identity with your nativeness, losing your care for your ancestor(s) is, to many, where it starts/ends. This is unique because of how many, still to this day, native kids are kidnapped and unable to connect to their cultures. They're placed in white religious families and essentally wiped of their "nativeness." These kids do not stop being native, until they choose to stop being native. A mixed child is not less native if their skin is lighter or darker than their native parent. They stop being native when they choose to stop being native. A mixed child's child, listening to oral stories from their native grandparent is not less native in this moment. They're not ever. They're not white until they decide to be. It's hard to describe to you. In a world that wants to genocide us, physically, culturally, you can't judge it based on physical build, you cannot judge it on cultural connection. If you uphold being native in spirit, you are native, to an extent. Many native nations have a long history of accepting members of other tribes, other counties, other races. If you fight alongside us, in a world against us, to the oppressor you become my sibling. To me, you become my sibling. Does that make sense? It's why so many have to reconnect. It's why reconnecting is so hard. No blood quantum is required to join the Cherokee nation, for lots of us, what makes someone native is a very... heavily debated topic. Some n8vs have a very hard line, saying as soon as you disconnect culturally you're gone forever, or if you didn't grow up on a reservation. Some are very loose, saying anyone can reconnect. I'm looser on it, and it makes me happy (though, anxious) to see transnative people. We're in a cultural(+) genocide. I don't think you can afford to be picky with who keeps that culture alive, so long as they're respectful.

Like I said earlier, I'm not black. But I want to, with my understanding, go further from here by saying "black" is a vague word that means different things in different places. A lot of the time here in America it means specifically black Americans with a history connected to American slavery and segregation, etc, hence 'black culture' but in different parts of the world it may mean anyone dark skinned. It could mean anyone of African decent, it could include people from south America, I know there was a discourse a few years ago about if native Australians could call themselves black. If someone in America fit the bill, many people would consider them black, not asking or caring if they're a first generation immigrant or if they're a tourist or even African at all. Many mixed people are considered black regardless of if they self identify as being black or mixed. Etc.

So similarly I think there's a sort of... I don't know, food for thought about these 2 ideas of race especially in an American context that are especially flexible and poorly defined with the socal contrast of race.

Sorry if I missed anything, I tried to comb through the text block multiple times to catch every point but I'm very, very dyslexic. I may have missed things, feel free to send them more condensed. Further, I'd like if you'd read this post on race as a social construct if you haven't already, reader. Seeya! And of course, thank you for the question I hope I answered it as well as you'd like.

All of our culture and idea of race is a construct- but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. [Link]

[words-etched-in-her-skin]

Hello, dears! ❤️First and foremost - apologies for the lack of content lately! Writer's block has been a bitch 😅 But I come bringing gifts 👀 This fic is a follow up to this ask here -

https://www.tumblr.com/words-etched-in-her-skin/670658060137660416/so-i-got-a-stand-in-the-market-in-the-village?source=share

It's about 5k words, and includes some soft tentacle sex (incase you're not into that) I do hope some of you will enjoy! ❤️

***

Her scent hit you before you even saw her, just like it had every Thursday before that for the past two months. The intoxicating mix of cinnamon and sea salt. It was a smell that never failed to spark butterflies in your stomach and push a warm flush across your cheeks. You straightened out your apron, dusting off any excess flour and quickly fixed your hair.

“Why don’t you just ask her out already?” Your co-worker Annette snorted.

“I- .. ask who out?”

You did your best to act innocent to her words, but the older woman only rolled her eyes.

“Oh, please. You act as if I haven’t had ring side seats to the two of you flirting with each other for the last several weeks.”

At this you blushed even deeper, biting your bottom lip.

“Y-you know I can’t just ask her out….”

“Why??”

“She’s a lord for Miranda’s sake!”

“Pft.. a lord that flirts heavily with you every time she’s here.”

She wasn’t wrong. Sal always made it a point to compliment you, throwing you a wink or two. And lately she seemed to even look for excuses to hang out at the small shop longer than usual.

But still, that didn’t change who she was.

“I just..”

“Look, if you don’t ask her out, I just might.” The older woman chuckled.

“ANNETTE!”

She snorted even louder this time before patting you hard on the back. “I may be old, but I know a good woman when I see one. And Sal.. Sal is one of the best.”

You couldn't argue with that. Sal was the best woman you knew. She was kind, compassionate, strong.. and not to mention, the most beautiful woman you had ever laid eyes on. You gave Annette a small smile before sighing.

"She is.. Sal is-"

"Heh, Sal is wha'?"

You felt all the heat rise to your face the moment you heard her voice, quickly turning around.

"Uh.. is here! Sal is here!" You added nervously, making her chuckle - the late morning sun shimmering off a particularly sharp tooth within her grin.

"Aye.. tha' she is."

Sal gave you a little wink that you felt almost immediately in your core, bringing more heat to your face.

“Ah.. “ You paused, clearing your throat. “So.. just the usual today?”

A soft chuckle and smug smirk, “Aye, maybe a lil’ more.”

You hurried off to fill Sal's usual amount of flour and various spices - a single fresh vanilla bean always requested with each order. You remembered Sal telling you that’s why she first started coming to your humble little shop, she'd commented on how you were the only place in the village to keep them in stock - which was mainly due to the fact that Annette spent years learning how to grow and cultivate it properly in the garden. Something that you were now more than grateful for.

“So, Sal.. how goes it?

“A’ight.”

You listened as Sal and Annette exchanged pleasantries while you continued to finish up the lord’s order. And you were more than certain that the older woman was well aware that you were stalling - making sure the blush had completely gone from your cheeks before placing it all into a wooden crate and heading back to the front - the topic of conversation now at Sal’s favorite type of fish to eat.

“The one tha’ ends up in me mouth, heh.”

All of sudden you got a very clear image of Sal’s mouth, immediately thinking of all the things it could do to you. The blush you had just spent so much time getting rid of now a bristling heat across your cheeks. You cleared your throat, placing Sal’s order on the counter.

“Ah.. what sort of cupcakes are you making, Sal?”

Your heart quickened when her gaze slid over to you, a slight crinkle to the side of her eyes.

“Tryin’ sumthin’ new. It’sa surprise.” Sal grinned.

You felt your blush grow even deeper. “For- for me?”

“Aye.” She nodded. The single word taking residence in your mind, skipping through it freely like a heartbeat. For a moment you had no words to reply with - no thoughts to offer - but you knew if you didn’t take the chance now you never would.

“Um.. so, Sal..”

“Shoot! I gotta go check on that.. pie.. uh, I’ll be back.”

Annette gave you a wink of encouragement before hurrying off to check on her imaginary pie.

“Heh.”

The keen smirk that curled across Sal’s lips made you all too aware that she knew exactly what was coming. You swallowed hard, tucking a rogue curl behind your ear.

"Fuck it. Would you.. maybe want to go out sometime? Ah.. with me?"

*I swear that was the first time I ever heard you curse." Anette laughed. "I was sure you were gonna pass out."

You chuckled, putting the last tray of cookies into the over.

"So did I, honestly."

It had been nearly a month since that fateful day and you could still picture the soft blush that had bloomed across Sal's cheeks like it was yesterday. You had been on seven dates since then.. seven moments where you got to spend an hour or two with the most incredible woman you had ever met. Of course Sal had been more than ready to take your relationship further - in a carnal sense, that is - but she always remained respectful of your desire to wait.

Not that you didn't want to, though. Not that the thought alone didn't make your body ache. Make it burn with desire. But you made a promise to yourself that you'd wait for exactly the right moment with her. Sal was worth that much.

"So.. what time is she comin'?"

"She said she had a meeting with the other Lords and the High Priestess late in the morning, and then she'd be over."

Which according to the position of the sun, should be any minute.

"Shit, imagine havin’ to sit in on one of those. Think I’d rather take a fresh cookie tray out of the oven with no mitt than have to endure that."

You nodded, chuckling. Sal was definitely the most personable of all the lords, that was for sure. Much to the Annette's dismay, Lady Beneviento had always sent one of her dolls to collect any ingredients she needed and you'd only caught a glimpse of the Countess once or twice during one of her very rare trips through that part of the village. As for Lord Heisenberg, he hardly ever made his way that close to the outskirts, but you had heard enough stories about him to make you rather thankful for that. Miranda, though.. well, the High Priestess was never one you wanted knocking at your doorstep.. for any reason.

"She at least tell you where she's takin' ya?"

You shook your head. "Nope, all she said was to please make her some of her favorite cookies."

"Ah.. so that's why you made so many. I see how it is."

You chuckled again, knowing very well that your lemon cookies just happened to be Annette's favorites also.

"Mhm.. one tray for her.. and one for you." You replied with a wink, laughing as your co-worker's face immediately lit up.

"Ha! You're the best."

"Mh.. so you keep telling me."

"Pft.. and I'm sure I'm not the only one."

You couldn't help the deep flush that moved across your cheeks at Annette's smirk.

"I- .. well, no.."

"Heh."

You were about to tell her to hush when Sal's unique scent hit your nose, instantly causing your blush to deepen.

"Don't even need to ask what that look means." Annette chuckled. "I'm just gonna take my cookies and skedaddle."

The older woman was gone before you even had a chance to argue, a blur of lemon cookies and gray hair. Grabbing a small basket from under your work table, you welcomed the small smile that painted your lips as you carefully placed the cookies inside - Sal's scent growing stronger with each breath until it's presence was almost as overstimulating as she was.

"'Ey there, luv. Yer ready?"

The immediate spike - the instant race of your heart - beating loudly as if Sal itself was it's only lifeline. You turned, meeting her gaze and her shark-like smirk. A soft blush across her cheeks.

"Ah, yes. Just about! I'm not sure when Annette is coming back, so I'm just going to turn off the oven and then we can go."

Sal nodded, giving you a smile. "A'ight."

The speed in which you discarded your apron, turned off the oven and fixed your hair rightly earned a tiny chuckle from the lord - a knowing look dancing brightly within the embers of her eyes.

Once exiting the small shop you were finally able to take a good look at your date, a slight drop to your jaw as your eyes raked her over. Of course she was dressed to the nines, a large picnic basket hooked on one arm and you still wearing your work uniform. Her inky black hair shimmering in the mid-day Romanian sun as she straightened her shoulders - reminiscent of an oil spill caught in the sun's light and slicked back in a way that only accentuated her strong jawline and prominent cheekbones. And the fitted suit she wore - a rich dark navy that hugged each and every one of her exquisite muscles - left very little to the imagination, needless to say.

You cleared your throat, doing your best to keep your voice steady.

"Ah.. well.. you.. you look nice."

"Heh, thank yeh. Yer stunnin'."

"Sal, this is literally the same work dress you always see me in."

"An'? Yer always stunnin'."

You blushed, breath hitching as any argument you may have had was swiftly kissed from your lips.

"Charmer." You whispered once you found your breath again - your blush deepening when you felt her smile against your own.

"Aye, maybe."

"Mhm."

You gave her a small smirk before glaring back at the judgmental eyes of the villagers that followed you. Not that any of them would ever dare say anything. Even if homophobia was fairly rampant in the small religious village (which, of course, you always found oddly humorous.. especially considering how many women both Countess Dimitrescu and the High Priestess employed), no one would be stupid enough to question a lord or their actions publicly.

"Sooo.. where are you taking me??"

"Heh.. yer'll see."

She placed her hand in yours, bringing a swift heat to your cheeks as she led you through the small village and towards the Beneviento manor.

"Uh, Sal?"

"Aye?"

"Should we be.. I mean.. we're usually warned against traveling too close to Lady Donna's manor..."

"Heh, yer'll be a'ight. I know Donna's place like tha back o' my hand.. don' worry."

Sal gave you a toothy grin that made you both laugh and worry even more. Though, the genuine warmth within her eyes quickly melted any fears that you may have had and you gave her hand a little squeeze - trusting her to keep you safe for the rest of your journey.

To be honest, even though you'd only know the charming woman for a couple of months, you could easily say that you trusted her with your life. There had been no other person in existence that made you feel as utterly and completely safe as Sal had. And if she told you to close her eyes, take her hand and blindly follow her through fire - you probably would.

To you, Sal was comfort incarnate - the epitome of safety - a warm breeze on an all too frigid day.

"Plus, ain't no better views in town." Sal added as her feet stopped short, immediately making you look up. And she wasn't wrong, the sight before you nearly took your breath away. You had seen the waterfall behind Manor Beneviento from the outskirts many times, but you had never in your life seen it that closely before. It was truly spectacular.

"I- .. wow, Sal. It's beautiful."

"Aye.. a'most as beautiful as yeh." She grinned.

"You hush." You blushed.

"Nah."

The way the corners of her eyes crinkled when she gave you a little wink made your heart flutter in a way you'd never felt before. Gods, this woman would likely be the death of you, and you didn't even care.

You followed Sal a little further before coming to a small field of wildflowers - with colors so bright they looked like something ripped from another place and time. From a land filled with magic and make believe and everything that Sal made you feel inside. It was almost incredible how much more beautiful the world looked when she was around.

You pouted slightly when she released your hand and placed her basket in the grass. A large, comfy blanket unfolded and spread before you with a single fluid motion.

"Yer seat, m'luv."

Her voice was smooth enough alone to make you melt, but mixed with the soft look she gave you and her outstretched hand you could have very easily combusted.

"Th-thank you, Sal."

"O'course."

She took a seat next to you and started to unpack the basket she brought. Since Sal was more of a baker than a cook, it was mostly all baked goods - not that you were complaining - a generous spread of cupcakes, fresh breads and cookies basking in the late afternoon sun, with a bowl of what looked like some sort of pasta to top it all off.

"Well, someone's outdone herself." You said with a wink.

"Heh.. Donna made tha pasta fer us.. after I burnt tha firs' try." She replied with a chuckle.

"Mh.. that was nice of her."

"Aye."

The moment you added your small basket of cookies to the feast Sal immediately snatched one up - eating it in one eager bite.

You chuckled, shaking your head. "Good, I take it?"

"Mhmph." Sal replied, spitting out a small amount of crumbs that made you laugh.

"Not as good as you, though."

You smirked as her eyes locked onto yours, a shadow of lust casting over them and a single sweep of her tongue over her lips as she swallowed - a light sprinkling of pink prominent across her cheeks.

"Yeh shush."

You leaned in ever so slightly, lips a mere inches from her ear.

"Make me."

Words no more than a whisper causing a cascade of shudders across Sal's body and a bite to her bottom lip.

"Yer not playin' fair, luv."

"Hm, and when did I ever agree to play fair?"

Sal chuckled before closing the last bit of distance between you, a dark smirk curled across her lips.

"Mh, a'ight then."

Your lips parted almost instinctively and your eyes closed. Feeling your cheeks flush as she moved in a little closer. Though, all that came from it was a muffled sound of surprise as Sal stuffed a single cookie into your mouth.

"Heh.. now shush."

The utter look of betrayal on your face must have been all too noticeable as Sal let out a hearty laugh. It was deep and husky and only made your heart flutter all the more. How was she so perfect? How had you gone the most of your life without her in it?

You glared at her playfully before swallowing, a supreme pout upon your lips. "Hmph.. rude."

"Eh? Yer teasin' me an' I'm rude?"

"Yes!" You exclaimed, crossing your arms.

Sal only chuckled, bringing a forkful of pasta to your lips as she smirked.

"Heh.. allow me ter make it up ter yeh then."

"Oh, and how- .. mmmm."

You couldn't even finish your sentence, Donna's pasta being one of the best things you had probably ever tasted.

"Mother Miranda, that's good."

"Heh, aye."

Needless to say, the two of you feasted in silence for the next several minutes. The plethora of tastes nothing less than a symphony for your taste buds, with each bite better than the last. Where Sal lacked in the art of savory dishes, she excelled when it came to baking. Her cupcakes were a mastery of all things sugary and an absolute gift to the senses. Perfect blends of sage and lavender, citrus and cinnamon… and her vanilla bean and sweet cream ones were so good that they made you moan out loud - an act that swiftly earned a look from the lord.

It was a look that said everything within a single glance - every desire, every need. The way her eyes fluidly followed your movements, falling to your lips as your tongue traced over them and licked the last bit of cream from them. You felt your cheeks heat almost immediately, a warm tingle across your body that swiftly found residence in your core.

"Sal?"

"Aye."

"Kiss me."

Where Sal's kisses were usually gentle, tepid - the one she gifted you with burned with the heat of a thousand suns. Of a thousand nights where she had nothing but the thought of you and the warmth of her own hands to keep her company. Your back against the blanket and her body flush against yours in a matter of seconds. You moaned into it, sweeping your tongue eagerly over hers and wrapped your legs around her waist.

You were panting when you pulled apart, deep crimson decorating both of your cheeks and a look in your eyes that could level just about anything that came up against it.

"I.. I want you, Sal. I need you."

The first nip against your skin made you shudder - the second, whimper. Each one marking you as her own and slowly stirring the heat that pooled within your core. Without a second thought you lifted yourself up, pushing your lover off of you just long enough to rip your dress from your increasingly heated body before you pulled her back on top of you.

For a moment, though, Sal only sat there. Her muscular frame leaned back while two strong thighs sat on either side of your hips, straddling you. Her lingering eyes - drinking you in as the slightly cooled air of a warm summer day come and gone creeped it's way across your exposed skin - leaving a trail of goosebumps in it's wake and hardening your nipples. And the smoldering gaze that quickly followed only made you shiver all the more.

"Sal-"

You hadn't intended for the simple word to sound so needy - so breathy - but you couldn't have stopped it if you tried. The last letter barely able to slip from your lips before Sal was back on top of you, pulling her own shirt from her body and pressing her ashen skin into yours.

"Stunnin' luv." She whispered, her warm breath skating across your ear. It was all you could do to squirm under her, wrapping your arms around her neck to pull her closer.

"Please.. Sal.."

She chuckled at your need, at your urgency. Sharp nails teasing over your nipples.

"Heh, please wut?"

Two rows of perfectly sharpened teeth glinting in a late afternoon sun as Sal smirked down at you, chuckling once more when you whimpered.

"Cum'on, luv. Jus' use tha' pretty lil mouth o' yers an' tell me wha' yer need."

"Fuck, Sal."

She was the only woman alive to be able to fluster you to a point of cussing, and the smug grin across her face only told you how well she knew it. In fact, you were more than sure Annette had made a point to tell her one day when you weren't around.

You let out an exasperated sigh, face flushed, and grabbed her by the shoulders. "For Miranda's sake, Sal, just fuck me already!"

"Heh, as yer wish."

She gave you the smallest wink before her nails came to your hips, slicing through the thin fabric of your panties with a single, swift movement and exposed your dripping core - the measure of your desire glistening softly in the warm hues of a setting sun. The same hues that basked Sal in an earthly glow, accentuating her unique beauty as well as the subtle blush across her cheeks.

You moaned when her fingers found you, curling deeply the moment they slid in and forcing an immediate arch to your back. The profound heat that spilled across the length of you when she pulled them back out, driving them back in with a purposeful force. A perfect balance of gentle and rough, much like Sal herself. Slow, calculated movements coated in her absolute want of you - each one making your needier than the last.

"M-more.. please.. Sal.. I need to feel more of you."

Your lover's golden eyes looked down upon at you, glowing in an unfamiliar way as she licked over her lips, panting - her fingers stilled deep inside you.

"Can try sumthin' else if yer up for it."

You laid there trembling, body shaking both in curiosity and want.

"What's .. what's that?"

There was no verbal response, just a slight arch to Sal's back as several tentacles slithered out from behind her. Each one wet, glistening. Dancing around her in a way that only made your core ache - clenching around the fingers that still resided inside it.

With a tiny bite to your bottom lip you gave her an eager nod. "Y-yes. I'm definitely up for that."

Before a moment could pass you had a tentacle wrapped firmly around each thigh, forcing your legs even further apart. You whimpered shamelessly when Sal’s fingers slipped out of you - her muscular body, her skin, her scent - all surrounding you, overwhelming your senses as another tentacle began to slither it’s way between your legs. You couldn’t help but buck into it, wanting so desperately to have her back inside you, filling you. But you could tell the lord was in no rush, that your lover had other plans.

“Needy luv.” She whispered, the tip of her appendage teasing over your slit.

“Mmph-!”

She chuckled in a way that made your whole body tingle, stoking the feverish heat that had already taken residence within your skin with each delicious breath that skated over you. The blanket below you already soaked in your need and only getting wetter.

You shivered as a fourth tentacle slowly came around the side of you. Moving along your body and onto your breasts as it inched it’s way over to play with your nipples. The same time the one between your legs dutifully mirrored it’s movements on your clit. It was a symphony of sensations, with each appendage playing it's part - filling your body with an unsung melody.

"Sal-" You whimpered, "please."

The only things to come next were the low growl in her throat and the exquisite stretch to your core as the tentacle between your legs slid in. It was thick, girthy - swollen with desire and filled you so deliciously. You moaned out right as your back arched, legs parting even further for her.

"Y-yes.. m-more.."

Sal moaned at your need, at your utter want of her. The appendages around your thighs growing firmer as they forced your legs open as wide as they could. A heated kiss placed to your lips as a second tentacle slid inside of you, juices spilling from your core.

A muffled "Yes" seared into your lover's lips, nails scratching down her back as her tentacles drove into you. Sliding deliciously over your clit with each thrust. Sal tended to your body like a finely tuned instrument - knowing exactly how to play it as if she'd been studying you for years. Each caress of your skin, every tug at your nipples. The tiny bites that slowly encompassed you and decorated your skin. All working together to push your pleasure higher and higher.

You had never felt such bliss before, never been so completely enveloped in it. The appendages between your legs thrusting faster, harder. Building the pressure within your core to an almost unbearable level.

And gods, how badly you wanted to come for her, to show her exactly how good she made you feel - but the utter need to not lose her sinful pleasure was the only thing holding you back.

"Yer doin' so good fer me, luv."

Words imprinted into your skin like a prayer, like a sin that only wanted you to let go. To give in to your release and the prickling heat that slowly threatened to take over you. Your hips bucked, core clenched - nails dug into her skin so hard that a single trickle of crimson dripped down her back.

"Fuck.. Sal.."

"Tha's it, sweetheart. Just like tha'."

That was all you needed to hear, that little bit of encouragement coated in her praise for your body to be engulfed in nothing but pleasure as you screamed out into the cool summer's air. Every part of you convulsing against her as the orgasm violently swept over you like a wildfire. Singeing everything in it's path and coating your thighs and Sal with your heated desire.

Your whole body trembled as you held her close, riding out your high as her tentacles continued to move slowly in and out of your core until you finally fell breathless to the ground.

For a moment all you could was breath, a shuddering, exhausted mess of bliss and haze. Eyes blurred as your body did it's best to catch up with your brain. But the second they focused, the second they took in the sight of her - cheeks flushed and core wet with desire - you instantly felt renewed. With a surge of energy shooting through you like a raw current, you lifted your body up from the blanket and pushed Sal onto her back.

"Luv, I-"

You placed a single finger to her lips before settling between her thighs.

"Just be quiet and let me show you just how beautiful I think you are, hm?"

Your words had the exact effect you were hoping for, the subtle dusting of pink upon her cheeks turning to a deep crimson.

"Gorgeous." You whispered, trailing small kisses down her jawline and neck before reaching her abdomen. Lips carving out pathways upon well defined abs as you made your way down, enjoying the tiny breaths that escaped from her lips as you did. ".. and such a good girl for me, Sal. So stunning like this."

She growled softly but her blush only deepened, telling you exactly how much she enjoyed it. Exactly how much she liked being praised and tended to like the goddess that she was. Her core practically dripping as you took it into your mouth, allowing her heady essence to cover your face and nose as you lengthened your tongue as far into her as it could go.

The soft moans that fell with each breath, a breath that hitched and heaved with every eager sweep of your tongue. In and out, over and around. Moaning yourself when she grabbed onto your hair and pulled you closer still. You drank from her as if she were the only oasis within a vast desert, as if her desire and her desire alone was the only thing to sustain you. Alternating between circling over her clit and thrusting your tongue into her.

You knew she wouldn't last long, by the nails that slowly began to dig into your scalp and the shake to her thighs. Your arms coming to her hips as you pulled yourself as far into her as you could, spelling out your adoration for her within the soft, wet folds of her core until she was screaming out your name. Until her thighs clamped down and her sweet desire poured into your mouth like a nectar of the gods.

And when you opened your eyes, glowing embers looked up at you through a half lidded gaze as you licked the taste of her from your lips.

"Good girl." You smirked, earning you a soft chuckle.

"Heh. Yer evil."

"Mh, perhaps. But you like it."

She chuckled again before closing her eyes, a soft smile painting lips that you so badly wanted to kiss.

So you did.

Lying next to her with your arm around her waist, her desire still prevalent upon your tongue as it swept over hers. Heartbeats synched and bare bodies flushed against each other. The soft sound of wind blowing through flowers and a waterfall off in the distance. That's the moment you'd be deemed to think about whenever you thought of Sal from that point on - and it was utterly perfect.

***

Ahem.. yes.. well.. I hope you guys enjoyed that 👀❤️

[theyluvlyss]

/ᐠ-˕-マ~ intro !

𝐡𝐚𝐢...

...and officially welcome to my blog/account ! I like to entertain the thought that I am a girl of many interests, talents, and, most definitely, thoughts. so, this is the place where I get to release and showcase them !

it would be an absolute honor for me to be able to, not only do something I enjoy, but allow any others who'd like to indulge to enjoy as well :). but, be aware, my main skill here is my writing, so that's something you'll see most often.

you (reading this lol) are welcome to explore, and should you have any questions at all, don't be shy in asking. I'm a very open book, so this is a non-judgemental, friendly, anyone welcome and encouraged, safe space :).

to learn more on the topic of myself, you can always check out the about me page. to explore what fandoms I'm in and what I love to run my mouth talk about, then you should go to the heart. if you have any questions by the end, you can always check out the faq's page. Continue reading further down to see how my account operates, and what you can do to make this the best experience for yourself ♡.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞

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/ᐠ-˕-マ~ Please respect all boundaries written below or you will be ignored/blocked. Thank you !

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 -

《 ♡ 》 I will write any and everything for whoever is requested, just as long as it's someone from any of my master/fandom lists. don't be afraid to get creative !

《 ♡ 》 be specific/detailed with your requests, it's a hugely appreciated help🙏🏽. and don't forget to mention whether you want it to be a full imagine, a list of headcannons, a oneshot, etcetc.

《 ♡ 》 you can both request in my inbox or dm (direct message) me, both are fine, and I encourage you not to worry about the length or "absurdity" of your request, for a truly good writer will work with whatever has been given (in my humble opinion). "A writer typically writes what they know." - don't ask, I forgot who roughly said this.

《 ♡ 》 please include in your request if you'd like to be added to any taglists ! every single thing I write for will have/has one, and if you'd like me to add your @, just let me know, and I'll be happy to do so. you will be tagged anytime I upload anything related to the taglist you requested :).

《 ♡ 》 as for requesting anything else (such as edits, collages, profile pictures, etc.), just make sure you let me know what/which characters, a certain/specific mood you might want, details and such like that.

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𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 -

《 ♡ 》 as stated before, I will write whatever I'm asked, but please keep in mind that I am only one person with a life outside of Tumblr. some things may take longer than others, but just know I put full effort and passion into every single one of my works that I do, you have my word. also, real quick; no, this isn't my writing style (the whole "lowercase, small words" thing I do is just for aesthetic purposes, my writing style is different).

《 ♡ 》 I do works for "character(s) x reader", "character(s) x OC" (which, again, please be very specific if you're requesting I do an OC of yours), and "character(s) + reader or OC", the "+" being an indicator of platonic/sibling type relationship rather than romantic. also, don't be shy to spice reader up, too ! I love doing dynamic work :D ! ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤExample: bimbo!extroverted!reader x character!

《 ♡ 》 I do write smut (mainly just for the practice tbh), but please be warned and advised that all characters will be aged up (if not already), no matter the character/fandom, and that I probably won't do anything t o o heavy.

《 ♡ 》 I do NOT ship/write romantic relations with any characters who are blood related, nor will I write for any characters with a significant/concerning age gap between them. do with this info what you will one way or another🤷🏽‍♀️.

《 ♡ 》 I do NOT do song requests. It's fine if you want a musically inclined reader or something, I don't mind. but do not give me a certain/specific song to base a work/request off of. I won't be able to do it, especially should you choose a song I don't like. sorry in advance for this😭.

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𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 -

《 ♡ 》 if you don't like my writing, don't read it.

《 ♡ 》 if you don't like the content I post, block me.

《 ♡ 》 please do not leave any negativity/hate speech on my blog. not only will you then be giving me free reason to cuss you out (teehee) but then I'll get petty and ✨️block✨️ you before you can respond /ᐠ>⩊<マ ! no, but seriously, I don't tolerate any unnecessary/unwarranted hate here, so just run along if that's what you're here to do.

《 ♡ 》 if you have any other questions, please refer to the faq's page. if your question isn't on that page, feel free to put it in my inbox or dm me :).

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𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 -

I am open to...

《 ♡ 》 constructive criticism/suggestions. I love receiving help on how to improve my work, or just on some cool tips 'cuz tumblr likes to hide all of the cool stuff from me (like changing the font color to something other than the main seven offered /ᐠ-˕-マ...). just be nice/chill about it, please.

《 ♡ 》 meeting new people. I am always down to make new friends, so if that's what you want, I'm happy to indulge ! My dm's are always open for friendship for ages sixteen (16) and up :).

《 ♡ 》 venting. having a tough day? (don't worry, it's been a tough year for me💀). need someone to vent to who won't judge, will listen, and try their best to help/be there for you? you've come to the right girl. again, dm's are always open, so feel free to drop some tea/drama into the chat as if we've known each other forever, and I'll see what I can do to help :)♡. remember, you always have one person in this world who cares about you, and if you don't, it means I died lol.

《 ♡ 》 collabing/shoutouts. are you a writer, too? or have an edit you wanna show off, but don't know where to post it? I gotchu', bestie. send it over to me, and if it happens to align with one of my fandoms, I'll happily repost, show off, whatever you need me to do with hella credits to you ! I love to uplift my community, so I will take any chance I can to do just that :).

《 ♡ 》 commissions. on the topic of support, you guys are always free to show some extra love (only if you want, absolutely no pressure whatsoever) to ask for something extra specific under the notion that I receive compensation. prices and deadlines are negotiable, for now, so don't be afraid to ask and see what we can do ♡.

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𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 -

I am not open to...

《 ♡ 》 negativity/hate speech. again, I enforce that you do not leave hate. If you don't like anything I post, block me and/or continue to scroll on and find a blog that does interest you. I post for myself and for anyone who appreciates what I do, nothing more, nothing less. this also includes any unwanted religious mantra.

《 ♡ 》 badgering. if you've requested/asked something, please be patient with me. I definitely saw it (unless stated otherwise) and I'm doing my best to be efficient, but again, life happens. although, checking in is much appreciated and I don't have a request limit. I just mean badgering in the sense that I don't need you cussing me out because I didn't throw up words and/or shit out an edit the second you typed up your request💀😭.

《 ♡ 》 pro-shippers/toxic fanbases. do not bring that shit over here, keep y'all asses away from my peaceful, chaotic good self, and this blog. that's all I have to say. this is your only warning.

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𝐬𝐨 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐡...

...that's all for the introduction ! thanks for reading, and I hope your pillow is cold on both sides, you get your favorite food in the next ten minutes, and that your allergy to cats is miraculously cured.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ/ᐠ^˕^マ~ 𝐛𝐚𝐢 !

[cringywhitedragon]

Random thing but I don’t think anyone has mentioned this regarding DDLC regarding certain scenes and the content warning that regular VNs also have

NOTE: THIS POST HAS SOME MENTIONS OF SPOILERS FROM THE GAME DDLC AS WELL AS MENTIONS OF SOME TOPICS THAT MAY BE CONSIDERED SENSATIVE. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THOSE TOPICS AND/OR DO NOT WANT THE GAME SPOILED AS IT IS BEST PLAYED BLIND.

I know how it tries to pull the whole “subverted VN” thing but even then there are a few things that “break the immersion” when it’s needed that actually work and have been seen in actual visual novels that aren’t just designed to be Psychological Horror

Namely that of the more sensitive scenes (Aka that one Sayori scene) and even the content warning.

Now why am I saying this because you may be thinking “Oh Reshi, this is supposed to be a spoof on the old Dating Sim VA so this stuff is there for subvertation reasons.”. First off, yes and no. Yes because it’s supposed to either throw the player for a loop when it happens and to warn them if they are sensitive to this content but also no since these sorts of things happen in even in any regular old visual novels.

Japanese visual novels (Which DDLC is mainly based on) are no stranger to sensitive topics like mental health, blood, death, murder, and even suicide in some instances, espically if it’s in a school setting as a lot of dating sim VNs tend to fall into of what DDLC is trying to parody/pull itself off as. Though usually these sort of things, usually the extreme latter, usually only tend to pop up towards the end of the game, usually if the player is on what we will refer to as a “Bad Ending” of a certain route. It doesn’t have to happen on-screen since this sort of thing can also happen if you are pursuing another character’s route but usually it’s most often front and center in bad ending routes focusing on the specific character which is why I feel it’s kind of a shock that no matter which girl you pursue, even if it is Sayori and choosing all of the positive options for her which would normally net you in these circumstances a good ending (even if it’s due to Monica fucking with the game), this scene will always play out regardless. Same goes with Yuri in Act 2 because even if you spend time with Natsuki (Who doesn’t even have one), you will always get her death scene when you may have expected to have it be the other way around (Tho at this point, the game has already made it clear it’s not just any old VN

Let’s pretend for a second if DDLC was not a meta horror game (Yes I’m aware DDLC: Blue Skies exists but let’s put that aside for now), and was simply just a regular old VN that still kept these heavy elements, these sort of scenes would still work in this case if you make the wrong choices and wouldn’t be unheard of appearing but likely handled more in a heartbreaking way instead of more of a horror element.

Now onto my other point, the warning text at the beginning of the game. Yes I know it kinda gives things away but at the same time it could work into fooling people that DDLC is just a visual novel.

Let’s say that you don’t read the extended one on Team Salvato’s website and only read the ones in the opening seconds on the menu (Namely these and ignoring the Contains Spoilers one from DDLC+):

I mean it kinda gives away that something’s up with this game but doesn’t always point directly to it being a horror game with these sorts of warnings, espically if lets say, you’ve played other VNs in the past since content like this still pops up in VNs that aren’t intended to specifically be horror and it doesn’t always have to just jump out in your face on every route as sometimes the average Joe on the first run of certain games might not even see this stuff even if it’s in the game.

Take School Days which I feel is a good example since how infamous it’s bad endings are and while yes they can be obtained on shear accident by somebody going in blind, not everyone playing the game will come across some of the game’s darker scenes but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there (Correct me if I’m wrong or feel free to provide another example of you wish) so a game like School Days which is a dating sim game at its core could still carry a warning like that of DDLC that a player might see when they boot up the game, even if they happen to get lucky and never get to actually see any of that content.

Just a bit of rambling but idk if anyone else noticed that

[echo-of-sounds]

premature

Small headcanons on Aizawa, Toshi, Hizashi, Fatgum, Gang Orca, and Hound Dog orgasming much sooner than they want to.

I told myself this wasn’t necessary but I couldn’t stop my fingers from writing it.

Aizawa Shouta

Orgasming quickly rarely happens to Shouta. He knows his body. He’s aware of his limits. If he feels himself getting close and knows you’re not, he’ll slow down and focus more on you, either by changing positions or switching to oral for a while, so he can recollect himself.

On the blue moon it does happen, do not laugh. He can tease and taunt you for hours but cannot handle it when it’s done back to him, especially over something like this. He will leave you hanging. Seriously, he just gets up, completely abandoning you on the bed. If you’re really itching for that orgasm, you’re gonna have to finish yourself.

Sho won’t mention it again so you shouldn’t either. He knows it just happens. It’s not like he can control it or anything. But it’s one of the few things that genuinely embarrasses him. And he doesn’t want you joking about it. He’ll pout and scowl for days if you do.

Yagi Toshinori

Climaxing sooner than he wants happens more often than Toshi likes to admit. Sex with illnesses and injuries can be difficult. When he’s actually in the mood and able to get it up, he wants to enjoy everything to the fullest. He’s also the type who loves giving pleasure, so he prefers to finish after you, when he knows you’re completely satisfied. But that doesn’t always work out. If it’s been a while, or he’s just too sensitive, his orgasm comes quickly… like two minutes in and he’s already flushed and finished.

Please, please, don’t laugh. It’s not for the same reason as with Aizawa. Toshi would die of embarrassment. He knows things like that happen, and he can’t stop it. But upon hearing your laughter, he wants to crawl away for some time.

Reassure him with many kisses and a great deal of cuddling and caressing. He’ll use his hands, his mouth, or both, or his small vibrator to finish you. He doesn’t like leaving you unfulfilled.

Yamada Hizashi

Honestly, Hizashi takes it with a grain of salt. It can happen to anyone. It’s not a big deal to him. He turns all of his attention towards you, serving you, whatever way you desire. Do you want to sit on his face? Have him use a vibrator? Stick a dildo in your ass? He’ll satisfy every whim.

He doesn’t mind if you crack a joke or giggle. You won’t be the only one. However, he won’t appreciate you outright making fun of him. You don’t want to actually hurt his feelings. He doesn’t deserve that.

Hizashi’s lucky. His refractory period is shorter than most guys. It’s pretty likely he’ll get another boner. And that just extends your time together in the bedroom. But if you want to assure he’ll get hard again, give him a rimjob. He’s drooling and harder than a telephone pole in minutes.

Fatgum

Taishiro’s in between embarrassed and unconcerned. He’s a little flustered that it happened, but he doesn’t worry that much about it. When it comes to sex, he’s relaxed about most things. Though you will notice a tiny, cute blush on his ears.

He’s the same as Hizashi. He may joke about it with you but he certainly doesn’t want to be jeered at. It can be a sensitive topic to some if pushed enough.

Sit on his face. It's what Tai needs. Since he doesn’t have to worry about his pleasure anymore, he’s able to focus one-hundred percent on you. And feeling and smelling you rub against him is the creme de la creme of his week. He groans from that alone.

Gang Orca

Kugo’s right behind Toshi in who’s most likely to prematurely orgasm. He’s had so few partners and sometimes gets remarkably into it (i.e. horny). Now that he actually has an outlet for his sex drive, he loses himself in the pleasure and finishes abnormally quickly.

And again, like Toshi, please don’t laugh. Kugo won’t be as embarrassed as Toshi. But sex is extremely intimate to him, and he prefers to feel safe and cherished- not mocked or taunted.

To make sure you’re satisfied, he’ll sit you on his lap, urging you to ride his thigh. It’ll let him kiss and grope you as you grind to your leisure. It’ll also allow you to freely fondle him, increasing the chance of him becoming aroused again. Your smell and wetness rubbing along his thigh are remarkably likely to do just that.

Hound Dog

Ryo’s the least likely to finish quickly. He needs a lot of stimulation and a certain level of roughness to get there. When it happens, he’s worlds more shocked than you. He’ll freeze after as both of you stare blankly, realizing he orgasmed five minutes into it.

He won’t be angry if you smile or make a comment, but he will flip you onto your stomach, lift your ass up high, and finger you till you’re wet and sore. His fingers are thick and long and not afraid to push and spread you lewdly.

Ryo might end up doing that long enough that he gets another erection. If that’s the case, hold on because you’ll be thrust around and definitely raw tomorrow.

[merakiui]

it’s 100% okay if you don’t wanna do this since it’s a triggering topic, but I thought I’d send an ask just in case since I haven’t been doing well recently.

Could you maybe write some HCs for Childe and Scaramouche with an s/o who struggles with depression and self harms as a coping mechanism? Again, it’s completely fine if you don’t wanna do it, sorry to bother you if that’s the case

Childe and Scaramouche with a Depressed S/O

cw: descriptions of depression, self-harm, mention of dagger/knife + blood **please avoid reading if this sort of content upsets you! note - you’re not bothering me at all, anon! I hope these hcs are able to cheer you up. feel free to send a message if you’d like to talk or vent! I’ll be here to listen! <3 

💧 Childe 💧

He’s aware of your depression because it’s kept you from doing certain things with him. There have been days where you can’t find the motivation to get out of bed and wash up for the day. Whenever this happens, he tries to cheer you up, asking if you’d like to spar with him or go out to beat some hilichurl camps to let off some steam.

Childe understands that everyone deserves their alone time when they aren’t feeling well, but he wants you to use it for healthy coping mechanisms.

He’s very perceptive, so it doesn’t take him long to find out that you’ve been self-harming. He’ll notice how bandages go missing and how you always insist on wearing long sleeves, even when the weather calls for short sleeves.

And then he’ll notice how often you wash your clothes, scrubbing extra hard in certain areas so that they’ll be as inconspicuous as possible.

He’s no stranger to blood and how to care for specific injuries, so it’s easy for him to piece together what’s going on. And when he finds a dagger hidden in your bedside drawer, wrapped up in a blood-stained cloth, the final puzzle piece falls into place.

Childe doesn’t want to upset you, so he’ll lightly bring it up when you’re in a neutral mood, so as to not worsen your feelings. He’ll gently explain his findings before asking if it’s true.

You’ll admit to it because there’s no point in lying to your lover; he’ll see through you no matter what you say.

Childe doesn’t know everything about depression and why self-harm is used as a coping method for some, but he’s willing to learn everything he can to help you through it when things get rough.

But he can’t help feeling worried whenever he sees your current cuts, always fearing that one day you’ll cut too deep. He has you promise him to never try anything that may threaten your life and he won’t stop pestering you until you’re absolutely positive you won’t fatally wound yourself.

Childe understands that everyone copes differently, but he doesn’t exactly approve of your methods. He wants you to be happy, but he also wants you alive and well, so it’s not a surprise when every sharp object in your house disappears, replaced with friendlier versions that allow you to go about your daily life, free of self-harm.

Rather than self-harm, Childe proposes other means of coping and he seeks to distract you from those thoughts so that you can enjoy your time with him. He’ll stick to you like glue, never truly allowing you to go off by yourself if you intend to cut yourself.

Childe’s annoying when he gets like that, but you’d rather have someone pester you with their affection and care rather than someone who shows no sort of sympathy whatsoever. 

⚡ Scaramouche ⚡

Scaramouche doesn’t really know about what you do in your spare time, other than your hobbies and work. So he almost passes out when he catches you drawing thin cuts along your wrist, blood pooling from the shallow wounds.

He’s quick to snatch the knife, holding it in front of your face like it’s a stolen toy. He’ll harshly reprimand you, wanting to know exactly what it is you’re doing and why you’re doing it.

He isn’t oblivious and he knows of your depression, but he still wants to hear you confirm the truth. And when you do he can’t help but feel upset. It’s evident by your scars that you’ve done this before and he feels very foolish for not noticing sooner.

Scaramouche doesn’t want you to hurt yourself like this again and he makes that dreadfully clear. He always hates having to act stern and mean, but it’s all for the good of your health. The worst case scenario always flashes in his mind: you’ll hurt yourself in a way that’s irreversible and he’ll be too late to stop you.

If you show any sort of displeasure at that, he’s willing to beg. And it’s a strange sight to witness Scaramouche, 6th of the Fatui Harbingers, beg. But he’ll do as much as that if it’ll get you to stop cutting.

You’re aware of the danger and you explain to him that it’s your way of coping. The pain is a familiar comfort and you need it in order to stay sane.

Scaramouche holds your hands in his in order to take your mind off of what you were just doing, forcing you to look at him so that he can get his point across. He wants you to use healthier methods to cope and he’s going to help you whether you like it or not.

He’ll offer an array of substitutes. If you want to belittle his underlings to get rid of some pent-up anger, go for it! If you want to feast like royalty, he’ll gather an entire buffet.

Like Childe, he’s also going to stick by your side. He’s not as clingy as Childe, but he’s definitely going to pester you about it, such as asking to see your wrists and anywhere else you might’ve cut yourself or doing away with sharp objects.

When he can’t be with you, you’ll be in the care of one of his most trusted underlings, who has been ordered to keep you safe at all costs, even if it means prying a knife from your hands.

It can be quite bothersome as you try to break your own coping habit, but you know Scaramouche means well when he takes so many precautions.

Scaramouche will always listen to you; he encourages you to vent to him when you’re stressed or upset over something rather than resorting to a blade. And you’ll find that talking about it with your lover is more soothing than any self-inflicted cut.

[the-original-skipps]

Fluffy Alphabet A-Z

Sano Manjiro aka Mikey

Note: Thank you so much for 100+ followers. I wouldn't have been able to get his far without your support. I'm super overjoyed and glad that you guys take the time to read my writing. I love you all very much as promised I hope you enjoy the fluffy alphabet! 💗

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

> Mikey likes to go for rides on his CB205T and he likes to bring you along. He just loves the feeling of the wind passing and your presence behind him. Maybe sharing some snacks while you both watch the sunset or the starry night sky, talking about random things. He just generally likes being around you even if you're both just sitting in silence.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

> He admires your determination and strong will. Since Mikey is mentally weak, he admires those traits in other people. No matter what you'd always be there to scold him or comfort him. It reminds him of his older brother.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

> Mikey instantly knows if you're feeling down, he just senses it. He'll bring you somewhere where they could both be alone maybe a park or he'll drive somewhere and sit you down. Mikey won't force you to tell him what's wrong but if you do he'll be listening intently. He's not the best at comforting people but makes sure to let you know that he's here for you.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

> Now this is a hard topic to answer. Mikey has pictured a future with his s/o, living in peace after all the rush during his teenage years. However, he doesn't see it happening because he knows it's best if he keeps his s/o away from him in the future.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

> I'd say he's both but mostly on the passive side. He lets you take the lead since he doesn't know much about being in a relationship. He'll be given advice and teased by his close friends but he'll keep their words in mind.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

> Mikey is pretty stubborn and doesn't like losing. If it's a petty harmless arguement, if he's wrong then he'll muttering an apology to you and completely forget about it. It's difficult to get into a serious argument with him unless it's something concerning him or Toman. Say the things he needs to hear even if himself doesn't agree with you. Then he'll leave to give himself space and think about things. Be patient with him because eventually he'll come around.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

> Mikey is very grateful for you being by his side even though he thinks he doesn't deserve it. He appreciates every gesture you do for him from the big things and to the little things such as making him lunch or fixing his hair or just being by his side when he feels he's losing himself.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

> Mikey doesn't hide things, if you ask him something he will directly answer you. He has no trouble talking about a past event since it already happened. Even though he doesn't want you getting involved with Toman, he still tells you about how they're doing or what they're up to. The only things he wouldn't share are his true feelings and his dark impulsivities since he doesn't want to scare you.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

> Just by being by Mikey's side you are a positive influence on him. It will take a long time but little by little he tries to open up about his true feelings and tries to rely on you more. Everytime you sense he's distancing himself, you would have to drag him back and knock some sense into him.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

> Mikey is definitely the type to get jealous easily and his childish tendencies tend to come out. If he sees you getting too friendly with someone he'll keep staring until he's had enough and say "(Y/N) is mine, hmph!" With a cute pout on his face. Be sure to coddle him afterwards because he might give you the silent treatment.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

> Mikey has no experience whatsoever. He has no idea how kisses work. It'll be super rare to get a kiss from Mikey since he's not used to being affectionate. If you're lucky he'll peck you on your cheek or kiss your hands occasionally. Your first kiss with him wasn't planned. Both of you were alone and you were just admiring him as he talked and pressed a light kiss on his lips. He was instantly shocked by what you did as he traces over his lips with his fingers but inside he's feeling all warm. He never knew kisses from you would have this kind of affect on him.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

> It took long time for Mikey to realize that what he felt towards you was more than just friendship. He confessed this to Draken and he replied "huh, obviously you like them you idiot. Hurry up and go tell them." In which Mikey replies by telling Draken to do the same for Emma. It happened when he came to pick you up from school one day on his motorcycle and brought you to the riverside. "I finally understand what I feel, (Y/N). I like you... You don't have to give me an answer right away, I'll wait however long it takes..."

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

> Another hard topic to answer. When Mikey fell for you he fell hard. As much as he wants to spend the rest of his life in peace with you, it won't happen. That is until he goes through "certain changes" and let's say he did. You'll be riding with him on his motorcycle on Christmas until he stops at a certain place. He'll start talking about his past and the times you've spent together. Then talking about how much he appreciates you and thanks you then pops the question. The wedding will be small and privately held with only people close to him and you are invited.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

> It is known that Mikey gives nicknames to those who are close to him. It depends on what your first name is. He'll most likely you use the first syllable of your name plus -chin, -cchi or -chy. Only when he's serious will he use your real name.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

> Honestly, it can be really hard to tell unless you really observe Mikey. You would notice he stares at you longer, or everytime your name pops up in a conversation he's interested. Draken is definitely the first the notice this change in Mikey and teases him for it, while Mikey denys it. The others will slowly start to notice this too. Especially, when he bought an extra taiyaki and gave it to you. Takemichy's jaw dropped at the scene.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

> Mikey won't be announcing to everyone that he has an s/o. However, if someone asks he'll answer honestly. I wouldn't use the word "brag" but he will say nice about you to others. For Mikey, intimate gestures such as kissing are only between the two of you. If someone catches the both of you, Mikey wouldn't be pleased.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

> You wouldn't have to worry about anyone trying to flirt with you or trying to hurt you not when Mikey's around. Mikey cares deeply about you and would give his life to protect you. You wouldn't have to worry about other people trying to flirt with Mikey either since you already have his heart, he'll simple brush them off. He's loyal.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

> As I have mentioned earlier, Mikey has no experience with relationships. You would have to teach him things. Still there will be moments that might seem simple to others but to you, you know it's a way Mikey shows his love for you. For example, draping his jacket over your shoulders or buying an extra snack so you could have some too. If he's not busy with Toman matters, he would want to spend his time with you.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

> Mikey would genuinely support your dreams and passions, telling you to never give up on them. He believes in you with his whole heart, and he knows you would be able to make your goals come true.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

> He would like to try things he never experienced before with you, like taking pictures at the photo booth or going shopping for matching keychains. That being said, what Mikey likes the most is the constant reassurance that you're here for him. Routines like going riding on his motorcycle or just talking with you, it what he like most. He's scared that one day you'd leave him so these mundane routines assures him.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

> You would think Mikey is the forgetful type but he actually pays attention to things. He'll notice you eyeing a certain item in a store or if you're lying to him. He genuinely cares about you and would like to know everything about you, even the shameful parts. Mikey has a hard time with emotions, he may not fully understand your troubles but he'll assure you that he'll be there for you.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

> For Mikey to actually want to establish a relationship with someone. It means he sees you as an important person in his life. However, certain things would have to come before you such as his family and Toman. It is something you would have to understand when dating Mikey.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

> Whenever he looks like he's spacing off during Toman meetings while he is paying attention to what's happening his mind can't help but wander towards you. About what you're currently doing or if you're at home safely. Before he starts the engine of his bike, or has nothing to do he fiddles with the keychain on his keys. It's the matching keychain you both have.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

> Mikey is not known to be the most showy when it comes to showing his affections. It's the little things he does for only you, that shows how much he cares about you. Mikey secretly likes the affection you give him even if he denies it. It surprises him everytime you hug him or kiss him but he never stops you or tells you to stop. Just don't do it in front of Toman. Even if he doesn't want to, cuddle him as the big spoon and it'll make him really happy. Since he's so used to keeping a strong facade, cuddling with you gives him the impression that with you maybe he doesn't have to do that.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

> Mikey will still act as the strong charismatic leader of Toman, where nothing fazes him. He won't outwardly show that he misses you but you can tell by the way he fiddles with his matching keychain or stares off into the distance that he misses you. He might even unconsciously blurt a quiet "I miss (Y/N)...."

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

> Mikey is willing to give his life away to protect you. Just you being with him is dangerous enough who knows who might be out to get him and easiest way they can do that is by getting you. If your safely is at risk even he likes you he would have to break up with you, keep you away from the danger. Because he utmostly cares about your well being and if anything happens to you, it will destroy him.

[nightswithkookmin]

Which members of BTS do you think dislikes ARMY the most 💀

Ait Putin do your thang

Well it can't be Jungkook he has Army tattooed on his body. *snorts.

Can't be Taehyung either cos he's cute and I like him🤷🏾‍♀���

I'd say Suga but really he don't give a fuck about anybody so... also I like my head to stay on my neck thank you very much.

Namjoon is a simp for Army so let's not go there. He's too grateful for Army to hate em it's ridiculous.

Hobi has the most reason to hate us all but really he a self help guru on his off days so no.

Jin Jin JinJinJin Jin Jin JinJinJin

I think Jimin could love us less but he a pacifist. Weird that one. Need to call him back for maintenance checks. Some one remind him he's a killing machine💀

I think they all dislike the toxicity that is prevalent within certain pockets of the fandom, the childishness, charging like bulls at every thing, interfering with their business, they dislike the privacy invasion and constant want of unmitigated access to their personal lives, the constant demand for their attention for them to satisfy our insatiable need for content, subjecting them to impossible standards of behavior, standards of beauty, they detest the power we hold over them such that we control even whom they should love and would punish them should they declare their independence from us by daring to share their loved ones with us.

They hate that there are institutions that hold these powers in trust and enforce these rigorous absurd standards and expectations through capitalist coercion, who censor them on our behalf, who tell them you can't say this or Army will be mad, you can't let them know you are married or in love or are gay, stay away from these topics if you want longevity in your career, you can't sing this song with this member cos it comes off as gay, you should do a live for them even though you don't want to and are clearly not prepared for it, loose weight, gain weight, sit here with this person so your shippers will be happy, this member and that member are too close and not a lot of fans like seeing that, lets mingle, try not to make this live about you two, don't mention you two were together at 4am on his birthday.

That level of censorship is enough to cause resentment even amongst the hosts of heaven much less them and the ones who suffer the most by this have every right to hate but don't because it goes against their advocacy on love and healing.

Then you mention the uneven distribution of support for their projects. Some members get more support on their solo songs than others, sell out faster than others, have more Instagram followers than others. They may not come out to say these things are troubling but when they spit out their 'love all seven' slogan you know immediately what they are speaking to. They are self aware.

While I wouldn't argue they hate army, I would argue just how much and how deep that love goes. BTS have profound gratitude and deep respect for their fanbase unlike any other celebrity and idol.

Someone i knew once pointed out the symbiotic nature of the relationship between Army and BTS and its true. We have a mutually benefiting relationship.

That's not to say they don't chat shit behind our backs they do💀

If I had to make a list at all, I'd be describing the least tolerant of Armys nonsense to the most tolerant and not necessarily who hates army cos none do.

Taehyung is the least tolerant member

Followed by Jungkook

Followed by Jin

Followed by Suga

Followed by..... may be Namjoon /Hobi

Followed by Hobi/ Namjoom

Followed by Jimin/Namjoon

I'm almost always tempted to put Namjoon last and Jungkook first.

But in all the hyung line are more tolerant in my opinion except of cos for Jin. The maknae line are the least tolerant except for Jimin. Jimin is very kumbaya while Jin tend to be indifferent. I don't think he cares much as long as he is in his own happy place.

Please stream Abyss and cry with me. His happy is happy. His sad is sad. Bless his heart.

GOLDY

[xaharadesert]

Immortal MC & Reincarnated LI - Headcanon Pt 2

Arcana Characters (Muriel, Asra, Nadia) x MC

A/N: Part 2 for the lovely @firefly-child! See part 1 for details, it should be the post just before this one! I swear I’ll learn how to make a master post one day :) Nadia’s part turned a bit more introspective than romantic, but honestly, it felt more interesting than simply repeating the same few points about eternal love that I used previously, so I hope you don’t mind!Thank you to everyone who reblogged and left comments on the last post, you’ve all really motivated me! And thank you to everyone who has sent in requests recently, that’s definitely a big boost to my confidence! Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammatical mistakes :) requests are open!

TW: mentions of death

💚Muriel💚

You would have to wait for Muriel to settle comfortably into your relationship before telling him about your immortality, but believe me, it would be worth the wait

At this point, he genuinely trusts you, and knows you wouldn’t lie to him (beyond a couple minutes where he thinks you might be trying to prank him)

He’s not entirely certain how to respond to the revelation and situation as a whole, so he simply… accepts it

Although he doesn’t really ask many questions about it, please don’t assume that he’s not interested

He is— but since you waited so long to tell him, he assumes it may be a sensitive topic, and wants to wait for you to open up at your own pace

His favourite tales from your past are the more mundane ones— he likes to hear about different creatures you’ve met, and places you’ve traveled to that no longer exist

But, to be perfectly honest, he would listen to you talk about almost anything if it made you happy

If you try to subtly hint about his past lives, it’ll go completely over his head

He’ll assume they were simply past lovers, unrelated to each other or himself, cherished, but long gone

So when or if you decide to reveal the nature of his own existence to him, he would be even more surprised than when you initially announced you were immortal

But once again, this ultimately leads to acceptance

A part of him is glad that he can be reincarnated by your side in an endless cycle, even if he can’t remember it

It means that the two of you were meant to be together, and that you would support each other come what may

He won’t ask about himself, and frankly, he doesn’t really want to know

Muriel doesn’t feel the need to compare his current self to his past selves, partially because he doesn’t want to feel as though he’s falling short

He still has days where he feels ostracized, like he doesn’t quite fit in with the life he believes you deserve, and the idealistic implication that comes with reincarnation is one he’d rather not taint

💙Asra💙

Shockingly, he wouldn’t believe you right away

You might think that due to his own connections to magic, he would be one of the first people to accept that you’re telling the truth

But he’s never encountered an immortal on the same plane of existence he lives his everyday life on (and the fact that you had died before did nothing to help)

However, his heart tells him that you’re telling the truth, and he already knows you would never lie to him about something so enormous, so, try as he might, he will eventually believe you

Once he comes to terms with it, he thinks it’s amazing— or more specifically, that you’re amazing

He loves to hear you talk about the past; adventures you’ve had, people you’ve met, places you’ve been, and especially magic you’ve learned

Magic is an ever-evolving concept, and although your old knowledge might not apply to the present, he stills enjoys learning about how it evolved (and it doesn’t hurt that your eyes light up whenever you divulge what you believe to be a particularly interesting fact)

Occasionally you mention a significant other from your past, and his heart seems to tug at him with a feeling he can’t quite place

Jealousy? Longing? … Familiarity?

One thing that genuinely bothers Asra is the fact that one day he’ll grow old, and pass on, and you’ll still exist, alone

So when you reveal to him that he’s been by your side almost as long as you’ve been alive, he’s thrilled

He has no issue accepting that he’s a reincarnation of your past lover, simply happy to know that the two of you are genuinely intertwined on a level that can never be touched by death

Asra rests easier at night knowing that nothing could ever truly separate the two of you, even if he was to die

A small, morbid part of his brain questions if his heart will return to him whole in his next life, or if you will continue to share it— and more importantly, how many more times could he split it in half if you were to be the one to pass away again?

For the most part, he doesn’t think about the possibility that you might be the one to die, but the though does occasionally come to him in the dead of night

And now, knowing that the two of you are so integral to each other that you would find him no matter what life he lived, he is fully aware that he would go to horrendous lengths to keep death from pulling you away

But of course, he tries to focus more on the relief he feels that he’ll never have to leave you, and you’ll always find a way back to him

💜Nadia💜

She doesn’t doubt you, even for a moment

You know infinitely more about magic than she does, and she trusts that you wouldn’t lie to her about something so important

With that being said, by announcing your immortality to her, you’ve just opened the floodgates to infinite questions

She wants to know everything about the past, no matter how mundane you may believe it to be

Nadia is a firm believer in the idea that history repeats itself, and she wants to learn from the past so she can help Vesuvia grow into a better future

She’s quick to make connections that even you may have never thought to make, and is clearly pleased with her own ingenuity (as she should be, she’s amazing)

She seems to be enthralled with even the most basic of knowledge you can provide about past civilizations, and makes a point to take as many detailed notes as possible

Questions about even the smallest details are a constant, so best of luck to you if your memory isn’t perfect

She tries to keep quiet if you seem to be particularly emotional about a certain tale, but sometimes she can’t help but ask for clarifications

You might need to gently remind her that you’re her lover, not a specimen

Setting boundaries about these questions is probably a wise choice

Nadia offers you a more official position as an advisor to make up for her work life bleeding into your down time together

It’s fine if you decline, though— the two of you can work out a certain time every day or two for her to ask whatever questions pool in her mind

When you finally reveal to her that she was alive during most of these past events as well, her initial response is frustration

She’s very much annoyed that she can’t remember her past lives, and wishes she could draw on past experiences to better herself in the present

Overall, her questions remain focused on general life and governments of the past, and she rarely asks questions about her past selves

She feels no need to hear about her old exploits, unless they contain something that you feel could be important to her now

Although she never feels the need to compare herself to her past, she does wonder if some part of her lives accumulated into what she currently was

And if that were true, what would she be like in the future?

In love with you, no doubt, as there was no way she could see herself alone, but would she continue to be good?

Would she always be someone in a position of power? Or would she step away from it in her next life, in exchange for more time with you?

To some degree, it soothes her to know that no matter what she does in her lifetime, she can make up for it in the next

[spanishskulduggery]

Hi, I'm the anon who wanted to learn some basic Spanish and I'm looking for grammars

♡♡♡

So my first recommendation is for www.studyspanish.com/grammar because they have a really good intro to the basics of pretty much all of the grammar (minus some more advanced things)

Also I would recommend: https://tildesites.bowdoin.edu/~eyepes/newgr/ats/

And I can't go over every single piece of grammar in Spanish but I will do a very bare bones overview of the major tenses/moods that you'll find in Spanish and a basic explanation of them

If you're a beginner a lot of this may go over your head until you're there but I'm not totally sure of anyone's level so!

Strap in everyone, it's a long post again and I'm going to explain like a solid 65% of the most important Spanish grammar concepts including tenses and moods, and even I think I need a read more for this one.

I didn't include things like concordancia "agreement (between nouns/adjectives)" and other fundamentals because I assume you probably are aware of those and so I'm focusing more on verbs and tenses/moods, but if you are a total beginner I'm more than happy to discuss the fundamentals in more depth

As always if anyone has any questions on anything I've mentioned here specifically, please let me know. I have no problem delving deeper into specific concepts but this is just a general overview of most of the big grammar concepts you're going to come across as you learn Spanish.

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First things first, they don't totally teach you this in Spanish, you kind of just have to figure it out yourself or delve into it later on by yourself but there are tenses and moods. I mean they teach you that there are tenses, but they don't totally explain the idea behind tenses and moods and I think it helps to know them to keep them straight.

It's not required learning but it is helpful for overall concepts. It is required learning if you're going more into the linguistics side of things though, but practically speaking you don't really need to know what a mood is to use subjunctive, but I find it helps.

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What is a linguistic mood?

In Spanish a mood [modo or "mode"] refers to the ways in which grammar should be used. The moods encompass the tenses themselves.

There are three moods, and really you only need to worry about two.

There's the indicative, subjunctive, and the imperative.

Getting imperative out of the way real quick, it's commands. Commands are very easy to spot because they boil down to affirmative commands ["do it"] vs. negative commands ["don't do it"]. There are some things to mention with imperative but I'll do that towards the very end for miscellaneous grammar concepts

Indicative mood is hard to explain linguistically. It's honestly mostly defined as "not subjunctive or imperative". This is default explanation of things. Most of the tenses are indicative - present, preterite, imperfect, future, conditional.

Subjunctive mood is harder to explain but really important. It doesn't totally exist in English, at least not in a noticeable way so it's something that people really struggle with. Subjunctive mood is usually described as the mood you use for desires, wishes, polite requests, imposition of will, hypotheticals etc

You usually find that subjunctive is 1 of 2 things. It's usually either a kind of imposition of will, where it's one subject making a wish/request or imposition on another subject like quiero que hables "I want you to speak"....... or it's subjunctive clauses. Subjunctive clauses tend to be kinds of conditions, that something will happen once a condition is met; "until", "unless", "so that", "as long as", "provided that", "even if", "as if it were"... Those are kinds of subjunctive clauses.

Some subjunctive clauses make more sense than others for English speakers. It can be its own sort of topic.

...

A Tense on the other hand [tiempo or "time"] in Spanish refers to the time in which grammar is used.

A mood is used to explain the way in which Spanish gets used, but a tense determines if you're talking about it being past, present, or future... or something in between.

You can usually divide the tenses between past, present, or future. There are some "in-betweeners" which I'll mention in miscellaneous but in general it's like this:

Present [things happening now at this very moment] = Present Tense, Present Subjunctive

Past [things that happened or things started in the past (either completed actions or ones that may still be going on)] = Preterite, Imperfect, Imperfect Subjunctive

Future [things that will happen or have the ability to happen] = Future, Conditional, Future Subjunctive [*obsolete now mostly], Imperfect Subjunctive [sometimes] .......also ir + a + infinitivo expressions are somewhere between present tense and future, it's a thing, we'll get there

Again, tenses don't have much to do with the imperative mood because a true command is always "do it" or "don't do it" at that moment. If you're saying "I want them to do it" or "I wanted them to do it" that becomes subjunctive.

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Present

The present tense is probably the most important tense because it encompasses a lot of things and it isn't always talked about fully. Plus it's the tense you use the most.

The present tense as the name implies talks about things happening now. Most of your declarative statements are things happening in the present. "I am", "you have", "we are here", "it is blue", etc tend to be present tense

The other facets of present tense are what make it more important than most tenses. In present tense there are two other important functions: "continuous present" and "short-term future"

Continuous present is synonymous with the gerund/progressive forms which I'll talk about more below in miscellaneous. What continuous present means is that you may be translating it as the -ing forms in your head. For example: leo may be "I read" as a present tense declarative statement like leo mucho "I read a lot"... or it could be leo "I am reading" depending on context. It's very subtle but something like leo el libro could be "I read the book" OR "I am reading the book". If you knocked on someone's door you would hear ya voy "I'm coming (right away)"

With the gerund forms, you are specifically talking about something happening right at that moment. But it is a function of present tense as well. Both are correct, mostly synonymous, and useful in their own ways but I mention it because it isn't often mentioned

There also exists a facet of present tense that is understood as "short-term future". There exists the possibility to use present tense to talk about things you plan on doing shortly or things that will happen in the very near future. This is somewhat different than ir + a + infinitive forms since those can be in any tense. It's just something to be aware of.

Preterite

Preterite tense (also called simple past) is nice and easy. It exists only in the past tense and it's for completed actions.

The hallmark of preterite is that they're actions rather than descriptions, and often involve set time phrases like ayer "yesterday", antiayer/antier "the day before yesterday", anoche "last night" or they include things like times, dates, days, or implied time frames

Think of preterite as "I did it", no muss no fuss

Imperfect

Imperfect tense is all muss and fuss

In linguistic senses, "imperfect" means "not yet completed", or "not yet past". You see it used for description rather than concrete actions and so it is very commonly used for narration and description; telling time in the past, talking about something's appearance or moods, and uninterrupted actions

In the context of preterite vs imperfect the very basic (possibly too reductionist, even) is that the imperfect tense is often used to set up a situation while preterite marks the action that interrupts the setting

In other words; dormía y sonaba el teléfono "I was sleeping and the phone was ringing" is all imperfect and it seems to imply the sleep was not interrupted. Saying dormía y sonó el teléfono is a mix of preterite and imperfect "I was sleeping and the phone rang". It stops being description and marks an "interruption" and if I read that, I would assume either "I" woke up, or we're paying special attention to the fact that the phone rang, and that it's not just casual description

Just like present tense, imperfect tense can be used as "continuous past"... saying leía could be "I read" [past] or "I was reading" [past continuous]. You could also say leí "I read" for preterite, though that's a completed action. Saying leía "I read" sounds more like description to me

You will also find that imperfect tense is used for "used to" to describe habitual things. This can be done with the verb soler [which only really exists in present tense as "to be in the habit of" or in imperfect "used to"]. Imperfect is a simpler way but it is important to note.

So for example: iba a la playa could be "I went to the beach" [description], "I was going to the beach" [continuous", OR it could be "I used to go to the beach" [habit that may or may not continue]

You often see this "used to" with certain time phrases or something qualifying it like cuando era niño/a "when I was a kid" or something like that. It's just important to note because saying something like vivía en Londres could be "I lived in London" or "I used to live in London"... If you saw it as vivía en Londres cuando era joven "I lived in London when I was young(er)" is more specifically a "used to" sort of phrase.

Future

Future tense is exactly what it sounds like

Actions that will happen in a long-term setting. Things that WILL happen, that imply more certainty.

You'll also want to note that it means "shall" as well. It's less common in English to say that, but in older texts and especially the Bible you're going to see future tense like that... no matarás is "thou shalt not kill", literally "you will not kill"... same with no robarás "thou shalt not steal"

Depending on tone, you might see no volveré translated as "I will not return / I won't return" or "I shall not return / I shan't return". Future tense has a sense of finality to it, very much like preterite does in past.

In general I would say that the future tense is unremarkable and kinder to non-native speakers, but do note that there are Spanish speakers who sometimes use future tense the way English might use present tense; serás idiota for example is a way to say "you're an idiot" rather than eres idiota (present tense)

I would say think of that particular expression as "stating the obvious" or "it's a foregone conclusion"... I only mention it because in some countries, especially Spain, you will see future tense used like that sometimes

Present Subjunctive

Present subjunctive is subjunctive mood that takes place either in the present, or the short-term future. It carries that same continuous and short-term future vibe

Again, subjunctive typically works with a set of 2 clauses [that is, two different subjects and verbs] with an imposition of will in some way... or subjunctive clauses. These just happen to be in present

So for example; quieren que (yo) hable con ella "they want me to talk to her"... has two clauses [ellos/ellas quieren and then yo hable] with a kind of imposition of will

This is common for polite requests or someone giving orders; exige que hagamos la tarea "he/she demands we do the homework"

Subjunctive clauses in present are more straightforward once you know the clauses: sea lo que sea "whatever it is / whatever it may be", or para que sepas "so that you know", or antes (de) que te vayas "before you leave"

Conditional + Imperfect Subjunctive

These two are often taught together and for good reason

The conditional tense is indicative, but it talks about something that will happen... as long as a condition has been met. It can be a little harder to nail down, but in "if/then" statements, conditional is the "then"

Conditional talks about things in the future and that can make it difficult for English speakers because we use the same conjugations for multiple things.... podía hacerlo "I could do it" is imperfect so it's past, it means I had the ability to do it... and podría hacerlo "I could do it" is future, so it talks about something you do have the ability to do, but you haven't done it yet

Though I do need to say that "should" is usually either in present tense or conditional: debo decir "I should say" or "I must say"....

But then no debería haberlo dicho "I shouldn't have said that". That kind of should is very often conditional and that can be weird for people

The main thing to know is that conditional isn't unlikely or doubtful, it just hasn't happened yet... but it COULD.

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Imperfect subjunctive on the other hand is a very wide topic. What you need to know for this to make sense is that once upon a time in Spanish imperfect subjunctive was used for the past tense subjunctive [imperfect being "not yet complete", again]... and then you had a separate branch of subjunctive that was more future and that would have been your hypothetical situations and contrary to fact statements

Today the same tense pulls double duty so that's why it's a big topic

You'll see it for past tense subjunctive: querían que hablara con ella "they wanted me to speak with her"

But you'll also see it for more nebulous or doubtful futures. This is the kind of imperfect subjunctive that gets used with conditional tense.

In "if/then" statements, imperfect subjunctive is the "if". And that's what we mean by hypotheticals and "contrary to fact statements"

si fuera jefe/jefa "if I were the boss" is your if statement. I would call this contrary to fact. It implies "I" am not the boss

The "then" would be in conditional because you're talking about some condition being met... si fuere jefe/jefa, no lo haría "if I were the boss, I wouldn't do it"

Or, si tuviera dinero, viajaría en el extranjero "if I had the money, I would travel abroad". You can translate it as "if I were to have".

But don't hate on Spanish for doing this. English does it too. We say "if I was president" and "if I were president" and they both mean a contrary to fact future.

...Oh also I should mention that if you look up imperfect subjunctive conjugation you'll find two forms. So like you'll see hablara, hablaras, hablara, hablaran, habláramos... and you will see hablase, hablases, hablase, hablasen, hablásemos

Both conjugations are correct, but there's a lot of history involved in this that I can't totally get into without it being a big discussion.

Suffice it to say, it's historical, and Latin America tends to use the -ara and -iera forms for both. Spain makes more of a distinction, where they'll use -ara/-iera for past subjunctive, but use -ase/-iese more for the hypothetical subjunctive

So just as an example: both Spain and Latin America would say querían que lo hiciera "they wanted me to do it" because that's past subjunctive

But Latin America would say si tuviera dinero, compraría una casa "if I had money I would buy a house"...

And Spain would more often say si tuviese dinero, compraría una casa "if I had money I would buy a house"

Again, both are totally fine, but I personally don't use the -ase/-iese forms very much in my own life. I see and read them more than I use them myself, but I'm also in the United States and not Spain.

And that's your bare bones overview of the tenses and moods

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I'll also just include some other key miscellaneous grammatical concepts real quick:

Silent Subject (sujeto tácito)

This is very basic and not talked about often, but in English we're taught that we always need to put the pronouns in our sentences. It's always "I do this" and "you do that"

And that makes sense for us because our conjugations have less variation; "do" could be anyone

But in Spanish, it's not as common to include the subject because the subject is often implies by the verb. If hablo only exists for yo, and hablamos is always nosotros/nosotras... then mentioning the pronoun seems irrelevant because it was implied

However, habla and hablan are different; habla could be "him" or "her" or "it" or even usted. And hablan could be multiple people but is it ellos or ellas or ustedes?

It becomes more common to mention the subject if there's a chance you'll be misunderstood

The general rule is you mention your subject and the verb... and you continue on until your subject changes and then you mention a new subject so no one's confused

As an example; ella habla con Marco y siempre menciona sus amigos y familia, pero Marco no habla mucho sobre su vida personal "she talks to Marco and always mentions her friends and family, but Marco doesn't talk much about his personal life"

When it's obvious like yo [except in certain tenses], you rarely mention the subject. Saying something like yo hago la tarea, yo limpio la sala, yo leo el libro doesn't come across as "I do the homework, I clean the room, I read the book"...... it comes across as "I am the one who does the homework, I am the one who cleans the room, I am the one who reads the book"

When you mention the subject over and over when it's obvious it sounds either like bragging like "look at all the things I do aren't I great!", or it sounds like complaining "I'm the one who did this, I'm the one who did that, not you, it was me"

When it's obvious you tend to keep the subject out. But you can put it in when you want some emphasis! Such as yo mando aquí "I'm the one in charge here / I give the orders around here"... which is kind of like if you'd italicized or bolded the "I/I'm" there

Infinitives

Infinitives are the dictionary form of verbs, you probably know that already even if you didn't know what they were called

They're unconjugated so the show up ending in their -ar, -ir, or -er forms... hablar, vivir, comer for example

By themselves you read them like... hablar "to speak/talk"; that's what I mean by dictionary forms

When you come across multiple verbs together, one is conjugated and the other tends to be in either infinitive (or gerund but that's next)

So, quiero aprender "I want to learn", quiero nadar "I want to swim", or quiero aprender a nadar "I want to learn to swim" for example

Also be aware that infinitives can be used as the noun forms of verbs. That is, they are "the action or result of a verb". In English we tend to translate them as the progressive forms, but in Spanish the gerund is a verb conjugation implying motion or continuation

For example: errar es humano, perdonar es divino "to err is human, to forgive divine".

Or hablar es fácil pero escuchar me cuesta "speaking is easy but listening is difficult for me"

Gerund/Progressive

The gerund form (also called progressive) is the equivalent of the -ing forms in English

In Spanish they usually end in -ando, -iendo, sometimes -yendo, and there are a few weird ones here and there because of irregular verbs

They're different somewhat in that in Spanish, gerund is a form of motion or movement in some way, so we don't use them quite the same way that Spanish does - see above with infinitive

You're using this when you're specifically talking about something in the moment.

Very often you're going to see gerund forms either by themselves, or you'll see them with the verbs estar, ir, andar, seguir, continuar or some kind of verb of motion or continuation

As an example teniendo esto en cuenta "keeping that in mind"

Or... estoy aprendiendo "I am learning", voy aprendiendo "I'm learning" [as in "it's a process and I'm in the middle of it" or "I keep on learning and I am making progress"], or sigo aprendiendo "I'm still learning".

Additionally you can see infinitive and gerund used together in some cases: quiero seguir aprendiendo a nadar "I want to keep learning to swim"

Past Participles

The past participles are other conjugations of verbs

While the infinitive is the noun form of a verb, a participle is the adjectival form of a verb

These mostly end in either -ado or -ido... although there's a whole host of irregular ones that you need to memorize

By themselves they can be just straight up adjectives and can lead into the passive voice... or just used by themselves

dicho eso "that said / that being said" where dicho is the past participle of decir

Or something like limpiado "cleaned" is the past participle form of limpiar "to clean"; and you could say el suelo limpiado "the cleaned floor" or la ventana limpiada "the cleaned window"

Past participles lead straight into passive voice, or the perfect tenses

Perfect Tenses

Speaking of the perfect tenses, these are "tenses" that are sort of their own thing but they use forms of the verb haber + past participles

The perfect tense is like a time traveler. It can exist in any tense and any mood (minus imperative). It's function is to make everything just a little more past tense

Again, if "imperfect" means "not yet completed"... then "perfect" means "already completed", since it literally means "done thoroughly"

The perfect tenses make use of haber and you most frequently are going to see present perfect and the pluperfect [sometimes called pluscuamperfecto which is "more than perfect"... aka "past-er than past"]

These follow very closely with English.

he hablado is "I have spoken/talked" (present perfect), and había hablado is "I had spoken/talked" (pluperfect)

The goal of perfect tenses is to make everything a little bit past tense while still keeping the impact of it in the present which is why I say it's a time traveler.

Instead of hablé "I spoke" you're saying he hablado "I have spoken", which means that you're now reporting on what happened once you did it. Maybe you're saying "I've talked with them and this is how it happened" or "I've already talked to them and it made no difference". Either way you're reporting on a past event but it still has bearing on the present.

Pluperfect is the same just more past. You're using the imperfect form of haber + past participle and it's very common in 3rd person narration. This is something that someone "had done". It's still got some bearing on the present but the action took place further in the past

había hablado con él antes "I had spoken with him before" makes it sound like you're reaching further into the past, but you're still going to report on how it went

But like I said, they could be used in any tense or mood except imperative; si lo hubiera/hubiese sabido, no lo habría hecho "if I had known, I wouldn't have done it"

Indirect Commands

Indirect commands are the murky space between the subjunctive and imperative moods

It's very simple though. It's basically you're telling someone else to have something be done. Kind of like delegating a command.

que canten for example is "let them sing", but it could be translated as "sing" as a plural command... it's sort of like pointing to someone and being like "I want them to sing" or "go tell them to sing"

Indirect commands are more polite than regular commands. A command can be rather brusque and impolite, depending on how it's said or phrased. Indirect commands are just nicer.

Instead of hazlo "do it" you might soften it with que lo hagas "go ahead and do it"

Indirect commands can be more impersonal and distant however. They can be used as a more... patronizing tone almost? For example: que así sea is "so be it". Literally that's "let it be so"

"We" Commands

The "we" commands are technically imperative mood but I mention them separately because they show up a lot as "let's"

For example hablemos con ella "let's talk to her"

Or something like seamos amables "let's be nice"; no seamos crueles "let's not be cruel"

It's a less common type of command, where you're part of the nosotros group, but also issuing a command to everyone else in the nosotros group

Sometimes the "we" commands are done just with present tense, but there's always the option: nos vamos could be "we're going" but may be "let's go"... while vámonos is "let's go" specifically

Oh did I mention you can stick object pronouns and reflexives onto these? Because you definitely can; hagámoslo "let's do it" or hagámonoslo "let's do it (for ourselves)"

The next ones are bigger and more confusing so I'm just going to attach my tags and other things that might help if that's okay because they are important but they're big and confusing:

Active Voice vs. Passive Voice

Indirect Objects

Direct Objects

Reflexives / Pronomials Additional reflexive stuff Dativo ético which is very advanced and confusing but involves reflexives so I will include it but just be aware it's like advanced advanced stuff

This is also not including spelling changes for stem-changing verbs and verbs with certain endings like -car, -gar, -zar.

And I also didn't mention irregular verbs just in general so they're really that's more of a linguistic thing. I can just tell you some verbs are irregular and require memorization so you get the spelling right and so you sound smart

I also didn't include por and para because good lord that is a huge topic and very confusing for people so really just better for me to link to more info on it rather than try to explain it because it's hard to do briefly in a way that feels complete and makes sense

Also I didn't include different verbal expressions like tener expressions. Those are important but sort of separate grammar concepts in my mind. If you've studied other Romance Languages you probably have seen them and are familiar, but it's more of a translation thing because English speakers are more likely to say "I am hungry" rather than "I have hunger" for example.