#But when did he ever talk about the horrors of his marriage! These invent

[jerrylewis-thekid]

In the US they have realized that posting videos defaming and putting Jerry Lewis in a bad light earns money (I'm absolutely sure that this kind of video is all monetized). And here they increase in number. I find a new one almost every day and frankly I am tired. It is the Americans who set themselves up as right-thinking judges. Those who cannot live without weapons at home, violent, racist, anti-Semitic, homophobic and deeply ignorant by nature, exporters of democracy using weapons. Those who have forgotten and / or pretend not to know the extermination of Native Americans,but they to point the finger.

[deadnburied13]

BORN INTO TRAGEDY

On January 19, 1809, Edgar Allan Poe was born in a hotel where his actor parents were staying between shows. Within a few years, his father abandoned the family and passed away and Poe's mother succumbed to tuberculosis -- the same disease that would later kill his wife, Virginia. Poe achieved greatness as a poet and writer but his literary fame would not come until years after his mysterious death.

But Poe wasn’t simply a melancholy author who wrote about premature burials, sinister black cats, and talking ravens; he was much more. If you’ve ever read a modern mystery or horror novel, you can thank Poe. He invented the modern mystery story, mostly invented science fiction, and was the first writer to take the horror stories of the Gothic era and set them in modern times, starting a trend that continues today.

My own fascination with Poe led me to writer a book called NEVERMORE, a look at the mysterious and macabre writer, his tragic life, unexplained death, and lingering hauntings. In it, I delve into the strange and bizarre world of Edgar Allan Poe, from his early life to his tragic marriage, his insane grief, his dramatically failed career, his links to an unsolved murder, and the mystery of what happened to the writer during five days before his unexplained death.

Even more than a century and a half later, no one knows what happened to Poe before he was found delirious on the streets of Baltimore, Maryland – or what killed him. Why did he disappear and then show up in an incoherent state, wearing another man’s clothes? Where did he go when he vanished and who was the mysterious “Reynolds” that Poe whispered about in his dying breath? And, perhaps strangest of all, does he haunt the mysterious graveyard where his body is buried? And who is the stranger who appears at Poe’s grave each year on the anniversary of his birth, leaving roses and cryptic messages behind?

@troytaylor

If you're interested in a true story of mystery and madness, real-life horror and the supernatural, I think this is a book you'll enjoy. Take a look and get a signed copy at https://www.americanhauntingsink.com/poe

[lunaekalenda]

So this is an angst request about Erwin! To basically lay it out Erwin and reader are childhood friends and she has always been pretty attached to him, as they grow up he goes into the survey corps and she goes with him as well, and she eventually develops a crush on him and he does too just that he keeps it private to himself.

okay! i hope you like it and sorry for the waiting!! 💖

continuation to the request:

Over time they start falling apart. Either way during an expedition the reader ends up passing away and since then one of the reader's best friends has been passive aggressive with Erwin even when he became commander. So the night before the retaking of Wall Maria he calls that friend into his office and he asks them why they have been acting that way ever since she died. The friend confesses that the reader loved him so much that she didnt care what happened to them and that. The friend confesses that the reader loved him so much that she didnt care what happened to them and that she didn’t care when he fell into the arms of any other woman because she just wanted him to be happy. And that's why the friend was always so mad at Erwin because he never even spared a glance at her. So then Erwin dies and he meets her again and it can end on either fluff or angst if you want to. You can do it in any POV you can! Thanks!

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❁ erwin x female!reader

❁ spoilers! some cursing also, one mention of suicide word, original character introduction, non-canon events and deaths.

❁ a/n: sorry, anon! it took longer than I expected to write this because i kept editing it :’) i hope you like it <3 sorry for any errors and for making this so long :’’) also, i’m not following the manga exact events!!!! also sorry if i messed something up :(

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“You’re what?”

“I’m joining the Survey Corps.” Erwin looked at you, his blue eyes fixed on yours. He left the papers on the desk, getting up. Even knowing he’s just a teenager, he’s pretty tall. But, after all this years, it doesn’t intimidate you.

“You’re not” He says. You raise an eyebrow, looking at him.

“You’re not my father to decide what can I do and what I cannot do. If you’re joining, I’m joining.” Erwin sighs and looks at you fiercely. You keep your gaze in his.

“I have the same possibilities to die as you have, Smith. So don’t fucking dare to tell me not to join.” 

“I have the same possibilities to die as you have, Smith. So don’t fucking dare to tell me not to join.” 

Both of you passed the tests to enter the Survey Corps. His intelligence and your strength made the two of you stand out. You cared for Erwin, always checking on him on your training expeditions, and being there when he rans out of gas or needs assistance. Even when he tried to convince you not to, you joined anyway the elimination squad. Erwin joined as well, but his strategic brain made him talk to the heads of the army. Lion waited for you after an intense training. Erwin was entering the Commander’s office. Lion sighed.

“He’s always so occupied with high class men...” 

“I’m happy for him.” you say. Lion was cleaning his boots.

He has been your friend since both of you entered the elimination squad, and he’s like a big brother to you now. He rolls his eyes.

“Because you love him.” He says. He was not wrong: A little teen crush on Erwin evolved to the point that you love him. You know he doesn’t feel the same for you, or so you think. He always treats you kind of cold, and more since he entered the Corps. You know he feels responsible of you joining because of his ideas, but you where totally free to join. That doesn’t excuse his new cold attitude towards you. Lion sighs again and gets up, his boots now totally clean. 

“He doesn’t look at you that way, y/n” He says. Maybe he’s right, totally right, but the heart doesn’t choose who to love. That’s why you’re deeply in love with him. And because you know him better than anyone. His fears and his goals. The way his blue eyes soften when he talks about something he loves. "But, I do understand you." he says. "Love is just a fucking problem and a headache if it is one-sided" He palmed your shoulder before going out of the tent. Sighing, you stand up and follow him. Erwin comes out of the Commander’s tent at the same time. You look at him and he looks at you. You smile at him, a little smile that he is silently adoring, silently wanting to kiss, to feel it against him.

"Come on, Erwin." The Commander makes Erwin walk behind him, and his expression keeps being the same as usual towards you. You decide it's time to stop making him notice you. He doesn't want anything romantic with you, so just let him be. If he wants to search a cute soldier to get married or a girl to have fun is his decision. You're out of it.

But you didn't know how much he cared for you, how deep in love he was. Just watching the corners of your lips making a little smile makes his heart beat faster, the way you are so close to him even when he is treating you like that hurts him. If he wasn't a soldier, he would ask you to go out with him. He would take your hands sweetly and make you dance to an invented song just to see the way your lips curve in a smile of joy. He would take you to long walks and give you his jacket when you're cold. He would ask your hand in marriage and kiss and nude your body with care and tenderness. He would marry you happily, have maybe a couple kids, if you want to. Live a easy and quiet life.

But he decided to be a soldier.

That means he's risking his life every time he puts his feet out of the walls. As you do. That's why he wants you to leave and search someone who cares for you and loves you deeply. He wants to be that one, but knowing that maybe he'll die in the next expedition, leaving you alone and heartbroken, scares him. He knows you're brave and strong, but a close loose is not a easy thing. Even for you. So he decided to keep a cold attitude towards you.

Years passed by and your crush for him was still there, as intense as always. He is candidate to be the next Commander, as he always wanted to. His desire for knowing why humanity has to be in the walls while the titans can be free out there. Lion knocks on your room door.

"Did you heard the news?" he asks, entering. You shake your head. "We'll go on an emergency expedition tomorrow." Lion sits near you. An emergency expedition. There was a rare type of expedition, the emergency ones: they're made when a strange titan comes around and takes a lot of normal titans with it, near a town or village. "We're leaving tonight at 5. Be ready." You nod. "And try to sleep a bit, yes?" you nod again. Lion leaves silently and you prepare yourself to sleep some hours. You know that going without sleeping will make you an easy prey for titans. At five o'clock, you're all marching towards the entrance of the wall Maria. The Commander assigns your squad to the front.

The expedition starts calmly, even when the atmosphere in the soldier’s files seems tense. Lion rides a horse near you, in silence, and you know Erwin goes behind, with all the high soldiers. You can’t feel titans near, even their steps. That’s why the Commander yell scares you. 

“There’s a sparkler!” he yells. You look at both sides, finding easily the black colored flame.  “Elimination squad, go and find that damn thing and kill it. Rescue squad, find survivors and take them to the barricade.” You nod, following your squad leader. After a long time riding, without finding signs of a titan near, you start to think that maybe it was just a bad joke of one of the juniors.

That changes when the girl next to you yells, suddenly trapped in a big hand. A strange titan, with an enormous mouth, smiles at her, as if it were trying to tell her that it is going to enjoy every bite of her body. And it does. You saw comrades die because of titans. Smashed, eaten in a bite or even suicides. But you never, never, saw a titan split a comrade in two parts. Her waist bleeds while the titan swallows her legs. The scene is truly gross, how the blood stains the mouth of the titan, dripping to the ground, making the daisies turn red in a cruel metaphor of life and death. 

“Eva...” Lion whispers. All the color has left his face. You’re incapable to look to other side, just to the horror expression in Eva’s face, freezed forever while the titan eats her. Then, it’s gaze searches new victims. That’s how you react, when its bloody smile is pointing on your direction. Lion yells.

“y/n!” 

Your ODMG goes fast and reaches a near tree, where you hang. The titan looks around. You have it’s neck really close to you. It’s just having it distracted and attack him.

“Lion, distract him!” You yell, hiding behind the trunk. Lion starts to move on the ground, the big eyes of the titan following him fast, his hand trying to reach the fastest soldier of the army. You point with your ODMG to its neck, the perfect angle for attacking it. Once your hooks are well placed, you take two blades and jump. 

The attack is one the trainer show you. It’s almos infalible, it has a 0′1 margin of error. It’s impossible to fail. You speed up, trying to reach its neck. But you found its teeth before.

Your expression is surprised when the titan opens its mouth, taking you into it. Your blades made cuts in its mouth because of the speed.

“y/n!” Lion yells, taking out his blades. He goes fast in your help, but maybe it is too late. You feel how the titans’ teeth part you in two, as you saw it did with Eva before. It is instant pain. How you body gets split in two. How the titan parts from your body, to pull the part it has between its teeth far from the other part of your body, using two fingers to hold your upper part. You’re still conscious about what is happening. You can see other titans fighting against your comrades. You can watch them die, as same as you’re about to do. There’s no way to save you.

This is not a romantic book. Erwin is not going to appear in his white horse, just in time to save you. He’s not going to leave the army to take care of you. He’s not going to kill that titan in revenge, yelling and covered in blood. So, that’s why you close your eyes, leaving your body, without making resistance against the titan.

When Lion killed it, it was late for you. Lion tried to wake you up, to make you open your eyes and look at him. But you couldn’t. Your soul was watching him from above.

The news reached your home and Erwin. He went to your house, to show respect and give the sorry to your family. 

It hurt him in ways he couldn’t imagine he would get hurt. It was a continuous reminder in his heart, that now you’re not going to smile at him in the corridors or be behind him when he needs you. He cried. He cried a lot, in private, in his room. He regretted every single cold gaze, every time he ignored you thinking it was the best for you. He regrets all the times you reached him to talk with him, and he ignored you to talk with high ranked soldiers. He regrets not confessing to you.

And now he can’t do anything about it because you’re not longer there.

Lion feels guilty, he thinks he could have saved you, but you jumped on the titan’s mouth. It wasn’t his fault. Erwin knows he was your best friend there, and he knows he should go and show his respects to him too, but he can’t. Not now. He decides to wait. The wound is too recent.

That’s how years passed by, slow, and Erwin got upgraded to Commander. He got new soldiers, new squads and new faces. But he stills think about you. About how you would like to meet Hange. How Lion is training the new ones. How well you’ll understand Levi. 

He decided that it was time to talk with Lion. Breathing deep, he started to walk towards the barricade. There, Lion was making a ponytail to a young girl, that seemed like a cadet. The girl made the army’s salute towards her Commander, salute that Erwin made back. Lion looked at him, his face tinted with anger, like every time the Commander walked near him. Erwin knows he feels bad because of what happened to you but, angry at him? Why?

“Can we talk in my office?” the blonde man asks. Lion keeps looking at him with anger.

“Why would the Commander need me?”

“Just a couple of minutes, and then you can go back to work.”

Lion reluctantly agrees, following the Commander back to his office. Once they’re in, Erwin starts to talk.

“I know y/n’s death has...”

“Oh, so now you’re going to talk about her.” Lion says. His arms are crossed.

“What do you mean?” Erwin asks. Lion walks toward him. The two of them are similar in height, but Lion is more corpulent.

“You never talked to her when she was alive. Even knowing that she was there for you every fucking time you needed her. She wasn’t your fucking dog, Commander.” the way Lion spits the word makes Erwin realize that he isn’t his favorite soldier. “She was a girl. A girl with feelings, a girl that loved and suffered. A human. Not your war machine, not your gas station, not your shield. A girl.”

Erwin wasn’t getting where was Lion trying to reach with that conversation. 

“What do you mean?” he asks, quietly. Lion let out a little sarcastic laugh.

“She was in love with you, Commander Smith. She told me a hundred times that it didn’t care if you were watching another woman because that means you’re happy.” Erwin’s blue eyes shot open in surprise. “She was in love with you. That’s why she was always around you, helping you and caring for you. It wasn’t luck. It was love.”

Erwin got dizzy. That’s why you were always so sweet to him? Always trying to get closer to him, to make sure he was secure, to make him notice you. 

How was he so blind? 

“I...” Erwin was at a loss of words. Lion sighed.

“I don’t know why you were so cold to her. Why? She was the sweetest girl out there and you treated her with coldness.”

He asks himself the same. Why? To protect you or to protect himself? Was he trying to make you happy or trying to extinguish the love he felt for you? Was it for your good-being or for his?

Was he being egoistic or abnegated? 

Lion left the office without looking again to Erwin. 

That night, Erwin’s mind was a mess. He only could think about you. About how you cared all this time for him and how he couldn’t save you. But he had an expedition the next day. Even when he wanted to cry and break things and scream, he needs to sleep. He’s human, after all.

He dreamed about you. About how your smile was always for him, and he couldn’t see it. That’s why there are purple marks under his eyes. Levi looks at his Commander, saying anything. Just his normal silence when he looked to the front again. Erwin survived to a lot of battles, a lot, even when one of them costed his arm. But he survived. Even when he wanted to die, because you’re not longer with him. But he obligated himself to keep going.

“Today, we’re fighting to recover a part of Wall Maria, to recover the district of Shiganshina from the titans. Soldiers, offer your hearts!” all the soldiers yelled back to Erwin. He looked at the sky.

Some hours after, the Commander told all his effectives to offer themselves along with him. He knew it was difficult to win towards the beast titan, the one that throws rocks. He talked to Levi earlier, and the Captain asked him if he had a plan. Levi was sure everybody was about to die. But the Commander told Levi that, risking his life and his cadets lives, there was hope for humanity. That’s why Erwin was looking at the distance without fear, the silhouette of the Beast Titan could be seen from where he is. Yelling to his subordinates once again, he made the army advance. And a lot of stones appeared in front of them. He thought about you, about how you where always brave, even when things were complicated.

That was the last thought he had, before getting hit by a rock.

Erwin didn’t expect to find you again, pretty as always, with your beautiful hair clean and shining. He was there, in front of you. You were also wearing the Corps uniform. His eyes started to form tears.

“Erwin?” You asked. He nods. Your watery eyes understood that if he’s there, in front of you, it means he’s dead. You run, hugging him. His scent is as clear as always, his arm tangled on your waist. You cry on his chest and he cries on your neck.

“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, y/n...” he says. His breath is irregular and his big hand massages your waist.

“It’s okay, Erwin. It’s okay.” Your hand strokes his hair, quietly. 

“I told my soldiers to die for the humanity. I sacrificed them for what?” the shock after commanding a whole army, being aware of all the lives he risked for humanity, made him break. You hugged him, being there for him. "Why are you here, with me?"

"Because I love you." you simply say. "I'm still in love with you, Erwin." you answer. He looks at your face.

"You're not angry at me?" he asks. You shake your head.

"I guess you had your causes to avoid me. Maybe you don't like me even a bit or something, and that's totally right."

He knew he needed to explain everything to you, but, for now, he just need to feel your arms around him.

Now, you have all eternity to be together.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Season Zero: The Yo-yo Crimes of Jounouchi Pt 2

OK, last we left off, we were in a different Youtube video. This one I grabbed off of 2 different videos (you’ll see their watermark in the corner change) and it makes me appreciate the quality that our other episodes have been, honestly. A little bit of compression going on in these, just to give you even more of that nostalgic feel of watching a bootleg anime from the 90′s your brother got from his weird high school friend’s Napster account.

Because this is done with subtitles on, it takes more caps to cover it. Part of why I rewrite the dialogue in these recaps is to help abridge stuff, and so consider yourself warned...there’s a lot of caps in this one. For most of you, that’s probably not much of a problem. But I’m just letting you know because...I sure wasn’t expecting it to be over 40 caps for half an episode, and I’ll probably just type less to make up for that. (Tumblr keeps Erasing All My Words anyway, so this is for the best, but that’s a tech issue I already went into in another post.)

(read more under the cut)

So, to start off, Yugioh and co. walk up to a bar like a really weird version of a bar joke and are like “do you know where we can find the yo-yo gang?” And, much like a video game npc, the bartender was like “I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about, and I heard every part of their intimate conversation. Let me give you all the details, children.”

Hey, PS, there’s an entire Wikipedia entry about the bar joke. And that is wild. Apparently the first bar joke was from Ancient Sumeria, and Wikipedia was like “Here is the Sumerian joke, but we Do Not Get it. Please don’t try to get it.”

The joke being: "A dog walked into a tavern and said, 'I can't see a thing. I'll open this one'."

Damn. I can’t believe the Sumerians were onto meme humor before we ever invented memes. They were in the Galaxy brain over there in the land before time, holy crap. Depositing their memes knowing that 7,000 years later mankind would look at the world’s first joke and be like “I don’t get it!” while all the millennials and zoomers with our MB of nonsense memes on our phones are like “No. I get it.” Good on you Sumerians, that is freakin the best joke ever made. 7000 years to get to the punch line of confusing the hell out of all us. Bless.

They promptly tell Miho that everything was resolved and that she should go to bed and she was like “Cool!” and exited stage left. Bye, I guess. Anzu also went home, but she didn’t have to be tricked into doing it, she just went the hell to bed.

(PS, I just realized that if I want to write less...I should probably not look up Wikipedia articles about the world’s first ever bar joke. But y’all, habits die so freakin hard, and I just feel like it’s very pertinent to this Yugioh recap, although I know it’s really not.)

Yuugi and Honda decide to visit the warehouse and harass Jounouchi. In the context of the show, they’re going out of their way to pull their best friend out of society’s systemic downward pull of a life of crime and most likely turning into exactly like his Father. But, the way that it’s storyboarded makes it look a lot like these kids just show up out of the corner and this gang was like “Damn it, again? OMG small children, please leave us alone!”

Honda hands over the symbolism sash, to which Jounouchi symbolically says “Nyeh.”

And Honda didn’t take it very well.

After tending to his kidneys for a little while, Honda decided to go back at it again at the Krispy Cream and do some sort of insane parkour over this completely ordinary fence.

Ah, the very first instance of real duel law where you duel over a relationship. In later seasons duel law is invoked for things like Mai’s marriage and the right to date Tea (and then just kind of forgetting you ever won the right to date Tea twice). But to think the very first time was Honda dueling for the right of Jounouchi to be part of nerd gang because Jounouchi had fallen to the dark side yo-yo gang across the street run by some 40 year old man with blue hair.

How many times is Honda gonna fight with a broom? Like are they just magnetized to his location? where are they even coming from?

Freakin janitor powers over here, put him in a Final Fantasy style RPG. I want to see what his limit break would be.

Not like it matters, because Hirotani very quickly explains why these yo-yo’s are at all a threat.

Which honestly shouldn’t be...so lethal? Seems like the weight is all you need, not really the spikes. But it’s at least stronger than Honda’s janitor stuff.

Unfortunate for Honda that he just destroyed an antique.

So with lightning reflexes, Yuugi does what he does most:

The death yo-yo ricochets back and does this little itty bitty scrape to this guy’s face and he’s real bothered by it. Although it’s like...well dude, you’re a 50 year old high schooler, I don’t think people will notice the scrape compared to everything else falling apart in your life.

And so then the Yugioh Season Zero team was like “oh shoot is it time to torture Yuugi???” and they got hella excited.

Like I thought it was just Yuugi’s class that were a bunch of disturbing criminal disasters, but I guess it’s the whole city. Like...was Yuugi’s class the good school?

I mean, it can’t be, there’s no way...

but like...is there a good school in this universe? How does anyone survive till graduation? If you so much as disgrace a yo-yo, you will get the torture treatment that I sure did expect in Yakuza games, but not so much in Yugioh, tbh.

Just a reminder: This is the third time we’ve beat up Yuugi this episode. Within the first meeting of Yuugi and Hirotani, he beat the tar out of Yuugi within eye shot of Jounouchi. So like...Jounouchi was reallllllllllllllllly lax on that deal, right? Like...he took his toot sweet time to realize “yeah this just ain’t ever gonna happen.”

And then the yo-yo wars begin.

Just like Solid Snake crawling through the radiation chamber.

Hirotani throws his Fyper-yoyo, Jounouchi intercepts with his Eireboy, and Hirotani’s completely terrible yo-yo just flies off the string again because Hirotani should have just sticked to using his fists. No wonder they wanted to recruit Jounouchi so badly, their yo-yo game is so off.

We never get a door to darkness in this episode, dipping our enemies into mind horrors. Instead, we get home-alone style traps. But, this makes sense. Not only do the show makers have to make Yuugi avoid solving problems with magic in front of Jounouchi, they also have to make it Jounouchi’s choice to leave Hirotani behind. If Yuugi did it for him in like...some sort of duel law situation...then that sort of leaves out Jounouchi’s choice in the equation.

Not like this ever really comes up in later seasons, since who even follows through with duel law and marries Mai? But like, it does feel like Season Zero calls out the later Seasons a bit in this regard. Honda got beat up because he tried to win Jounouchi back by force (or game, I guess.) That was just another form of coercion on the heels of Hirotani’s. What Jounouchi actually needed was to make his own decision to leave.

...most other anime I’d be like “I’m sure that’s just a translation error” but not this one.

So Yuugi runs to the roof where Jounouchi will never see this.

My audible sigh reading this line about fight club roof.

These stupid gang members went into Yuugi’s native territory, not just a fight club roof, but on a warehouse? They were dead before they arrived.

This was like maybe 3 frames of animation in just rapid succession, it was pretty silly and good.

Reminder that like 4 minutes ago, Yuugi was about to get like executed on a meat hook.

Speaking of getting executed on a meathook:

Hope you like the idea of glass in your eyes, because this anime’s got it.

They chase Yuugi around, in a sequence that was done mostly to conserve frames, so you rarely saw the ground until this shot:

Lots of falling down this episode, but unlike Tea, who fell from a warehouse ceiling once and just kind of rubbed her ass after and was like “ah damn it.” these guys won’t come out of it virtually unscathed.

Also, Honda is here now:

Jumping off of his symbolic sash trapeze, he decides to do in Hirotani for good.

Hey so like...walk the dog is a fairly gentle walk that a yo-yo does slowly on the ground right?

Just pointing out how sensitive Hirotani’s fingies are.

And he...didn’t appear to be dead, so I don’t have to add to the bodycount...but it’s gonna be a real long road for recovery.

And now, with the gang back together Jounouchi is back at school knee deep in make up assignments he’ll probably completely ignore since we know that in a years time, these fools are going to be trapped on Pegasus’ island, and at that point school will be just that place you talk about when you try to remember why you’re friends with Bakura.

---hey aren’t those chairs attached to the desks?

Because...holy crap, Anzu.

Honestly this is what you see before you die, but I guess Jounouchi died off screen after the episode ended, so I don’t have to add him to the deathcount (again). RIP.

Alright! That took like...8 tries to get Tumblr to save this one, but it managed! (well...I guess “managed” isn’t the word you’d use for a typing program that takes 8 tries to save)

Next time, we’ll be back to S5, for an arc I’ve heard is kind of boring. We’ll see. If it truly is, I can condense episodes into fewer posts. Or maybe it’s a secret gem? I guess we shall see.

And if you just got here this is a link to read all the Season Zero recaps from the start:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yuugi-muto/chrono

(there’s also a link to read all the Yugioh posts we wrote from the start in chrono order but straight up, this file won’t freakin save, and I just can’t even will myself to look up that link again. It’s on the home page of this blog on the right.)

[cybernaght]

Guardian rewatch: Episode 5

I thought this would be a shorter recap. Ha!

Every now and then throughout this show we are getting CGI wide shots of the Dragon City, mostly establishing the time of day. They have three settings: nighttime, daytime, and sunset/sunrise. While quality-wise those wide shots would not feel out of place in a video game from ten years ago, with buildings looking all rubbery, I actually really like this sunset sky. I also appreciate that they firmly establish that this is city is not, in fact, a real place. I almost wish the architecture was a little bit less familiar, but making the city look truly otherworldly here would make location scouting much harder. As it happens, the buildings on the forefront have a very 60’s art deco revival inspired feeling, and there are some distinctively neoclassical buildings peppered around as well. We can also see that the roads are very wide, and generally there is a hint of Stalinist grandioseness about the downtown. Unfortunately, it looks nothing like the locations and sets the characters are running in; we also get a feeling that the Dragon City is very large, which is not entirely consistent with the very few locations that were available when shooting the series. This shot does, however, remind me the city I grew up in (Moscow).

The actual plot of the episode centres around Huang Linqi and his fiancé, Li Jiaqi, going missing - it will be important, because their disastrous wedding will produce the most Clark Kent moment that Shen Wei will ever have. We also meet the parents of the couple, who are stinking rich and extremely unpleasant. It also introduces us to Butler Wu (Wu Tian’en) and his son, who will become important in later episodes. Butler Wu is not actually the villain of the piece, despite this shot clearly telling us otherwise. 

Back at the university, Shen Wei is having a morning tea with his dean. He holding his teacup with almost god-like elegance, very close to actually covering his mouth when he drinks, which is extremely old-fashioned. This is in stark contrast with him brazenly and un-gentlemanly showing his ankles. 

Shen Wei is asked to move off campus, because, apparently, having a chief of the special task force showing up at your office is bad for the reputation. Since the professor does not look surprised, and states that he has already found a flat, I’m guessing that he was clever enough to have predicted this turn of events, and used it to secure the place a breath away from Zhao Yunlan. It is up to speculation as to when he started scouting for an apartment: it could not have been more than a few weeks since he met Zhao Yunlan, and finding a flat can take a while. 

At the SID office, we are treated to a lovely moment between the team members, crowding around Lin Jin’s new invention: a popcorn-specific microwave.

It’s very sweet to see the team indulge in some nonsense outside of their case work, made even better by Wang Zheng being there. The fact that Zhao Yunlan is on board with his department’s time and resources being spent on a popcorn maker only makes this scene better. He is crouching on the table, because chairs are for the weak.

After inspecting the crime scene, Zhao Yunlan is spending some time outside chatting to Buttler Wu, and comments on Li Jiaqi’s good looks, since Zhao Yunlan is a man who can appreciate beauty.

As Xiao Guo is awe-struck at his boss’ ability to note someone’s prettiness from a distance, Chu Shuzhi literally rolls his eyes calling those “instincts of a beast”, and Zhao Yunlan fails to reprimand him for the remark, because… fair enough. Very fair enough. It’s hard not to relate to Zhao Yunlan, a self-admitted bi disaster. 

Shen Wei is being shown his new apartment. He does not even look around it, staring instead at Zhao Yunlan’s front door across the hall from him.

Moving here is a completely senseless thing to do. How on earth is he planning to hide his Hei Pao Shi persona while being a next door neighbour to the chief of SID? My conclusion is that from a character stand-point, it’s nothing but an act of desperate devotion; from a narrative stand-point, this codifies that their relationship is about to get very intimate indeed. 

The SID members are interrogating Buttler Wu: as is often the case, instead of bringing him in, like they did with Shen Wei, they hijack a cafe nearby to have a more relaxed conversation. As they talk, Shen Wei is making his way past the cafe, which both Wu Tian'en and Shen Wei notice. 

Shen Wei proceed to follow Butler Wu, who calls him out on it. This leads to a removal of his glasses so epic it warrants a jump-cut to close-up, on top of the dutch angle used mere seconds prior to it.

Instantly recognizing Shen Wei as Hei Pao Shi, Wu Tian’en sinks to his knees in reverence. Again, fair enough. After having a brief conversation about their shared history, Shen Wei states that Butler Wu is not allowed to lay a hand on Zhao Yunlan. 

“Chief Zhao? You’re stalking him?” 

“You don’t need to know more.”

That is not a no. Mostly because that is a yes. 

Shen Wei promises to not take Wu Tian’en away before the man resolves his current problems, adding that he hopes his old acquaintance won’t have any regrets when that happens. As Shen Wei walks away, he muses “Then how much time is there left for me?” 

(And I have to fight an uncomfortable sinking feeling in my stomach, which is occurring a lot as I rewatch those series.) 

The same evening at the SID offices the team is struggling with the case so much Da Qing suggests asking Hei Pao Shi’s help. Zhao Yunlan bristles at the idea, and… calls Shen Wei instead. Of course he does.

To be fair, he does so to check whether the other man is stalking him, but he also calls him by his given name rather Professor Shen, reinforcing that he makes this enquiry as a friend, not at as the chief of the Special Investigations Department. 

During the phone call Shen Wei is absentmindedly playing with the corner of the publication he is reading. 

While Yunlan does not deny that he still thinks Shen Wei is potentially up to something dodgy, he still proceeds to ask his advice on the case. This continues the dynamic from the previous episode: it’s not that Yunlan is completely blind, it’s just that he trusts Shen Wei regardless of the secrets he might be hiding. 

Moving on, here’s what I have to say on he topic of bad CGI. There are several reasons in the world for a piece of visual media to have a poor quality computer animation. It could be laziness, or it could be absence of imagination, both of which are inexcusable. It also could be absence of funds, as is the case with the Guardian. And, honestly, I am alright with that. It’s not their fault, and I would much rather see this drama as it is - bad CGI and all - than none at all. 

And, the quality of CGI here has energy similar to Live Action Sailor Moon (PGSM), which I honestly find both nostalgic and endearing. 

That show also has a talking cat, but it’s performed by a literal plush toy on strings, so Guardian certainly wins here.

While Huang Linqi and Li Jiaqi are being kept together (possibly in an alternate dimension, seeing as how they have emerged from the lake completely dry), they talk through their relationship issues, and the audience finds itself with a sugar-sweet take on the arranged marriage/strangers to lovers trope. I feel a little bit bad about their disaster wedding now. 

At the same time, Xiao Jun and Wu Tian’en’s story is a tiny echo of Shen Wei end Je Zun: the son thinks his dad left him to fend for himself when he was young and vulnerable, and distrusts the very concept of love because of that perceived abandonment. Unlike Je Zun however, he stops to have an actual conversation, which ultimately forces him to quit his senseless act of revenge, and make the first step on the path of reconciliation and redemption. This is Guardian telling us that communication skills do, in fact, matter. 

He also drops this bombshell of a line, which hurts my heart a lot.

“In the face of death every love in the world is mere foam”

On an entirely separate note, I am very glad that the actor who plays Butler Wu is wearing nice thick knee pads. 

They are very visible, and they make a little “boing” when he hits the ground, but the actor has to fall to his knees twice in this episode, both times on hard surfaces, one of which is literal gravel, and I’m happy that the production is being considerate of their actors’ physical well-being. 

While this episode does not mark the first time Zhao Yunlan is being understanding to the Undergrounders in pain, this is the first time anti-Unvergrounder bigotry is explicitly framed in a negative light. The two evil businessmen, who cast a child aside just because he has special powers, are shown as unquestionably in the wrong. Xiao Jun is lightly scolded for his rash actions, but he is not brought back to SID in cuffs, and he is not immediately given away to Hei Pao Shi. Far from that: he is brought in softly, to spend some time at his dying father’s side. 

As Butler Wu slipping away, we once more see Guo Changcheng being recklessly heroic, as he is prepared to use the Longevity Dial to share his life force. Instead of letting him do it, Zhao Yunlan snatches the Hallow away and decides to perform this particular miracle himself. This is the same man who will later sacrifice his eyesight to bring people’s lives back. Bai Yu’s acting in that moment is utterly phenomenal, showing a whole range of emotion from horror to determination to dismay in mere seconds. 

Hei Pao Shi teleports in, and, without a preamble, scolds Zhao Yunlan (the first episode in the series-long “don’t touch the Hallows” saga), and then asks him whether it’s worth shortening his life for an Undergrounder. This is in equal parts a provocation and a test, because I’m fairly certain that Shen Wei was going to save Wu Tian’en anyway. 

As SID members beg Hei Pao Shi to save Butler Wu in perfect unison, Zhao Yunlan states that a person is a person, regardless of their origin. Shen Wei notes inwardly that SID had changed, and, as expected, heals Butler Wu, while Yunlan stares at his power with relief and awe.

Since I have talked about the wide shot of the Dragon City, let’s talk about its counterpart in the Underworld. 

I have failed to notice before that there appears to be a vast city next to the volcano river, some way away from the royal Palace, looming over it. Geographically, this makes little sense: we will see characters leave the Palace and instantly end up in a city square throughout the series, but I still really enjoy this wide shot. It is also interesting to see the architecture of the place. It is somewhere between (western) medieval abodes and futuristic shipment container blocks, with living spaces built on top of each other, crammed-in, and unpleasant. I also love the lighting here, contrasting blue and red.

Hallows random power #n: projecting their brethren. Imagine how useful it would be if they also did that for the Brush and the Lantern.

The next day, Zhao Yunlan and Da Qing are on a leisurely morning jog, while Yunlan is wearing bottoms that my partner refers to as “sheggings” (as in, shorts + leggings)

They are talking about Shen Wei, naturally. In my head-canon, Zhao Yunlan is driving his colleagues nuts because can’t help himself but bring the good professor up every goddamn minute of every goddamn day.

As they turn the corner to go home, they bump into the subject of discussion, who informs them that he moved into the building, and leaves abruptly looking more than slightly pleased with himself. 

Finally, we are treated to Guo Changcheng’s surveillance exam. I don’t know why he thought this outfit would make him look less conspicuous. 

Eventually, the SID will learn that some of their staff members don’t have to be fighters or detectives. In Xiao Guo, they have found the heart of their team, and that is enough. 

Next up, Episode 6: The Coat Zhao Yunlan Will Buy

—

PS: I have mentioned earlier, that I have a sinking feeling as I watch Guardian, and I would like to elaborate on that. You see, I am very scared of flying. It’s an irrational fear, but it is the one I nonetheless have. There is a very specific feeling I get just as the plane starts gaining speed on the runway: there is joy, because at the end of this journey they is something to look forward to (my parents’ hugs, a drink with a friend, a favourite place, a new city to explore), but there is also a painful anticipation, as I brace for the moment the aircraft will tilt upwards, knowing that I will be pushed back into my chair by gravity, battling against an onslaught of a panic attack, shaking, learning to breathe, fighting with everything I have to keep my heart rate down. Watching Guardian from the beginning, knowing where the story is going, mirrors that feeling perfectly.

PPS: The following conversation happened with my partner as I way typing this recap.

My partner: Do you think Shen Wei ever wears sheggings?

Me: Sweetie, I think he would rather die. 

[berrydoodleoo]

big bro gladio

This was just supposed to be a few quick headcanons? Instead it’s a fic. Less dialogue and action than I usually put in my fics, but eh. Anyway, have my thoughts about Gladio and his relationships growing up.

***

Like Noct, Gladio has spent his life on guard against false friends.

When he was seven, his dad pulled him aside after weapons training. “I don’t want you hanging out with that boy Lycus anymore,” he said, apropos of nothing as far as Gladio could tell. 

Shocked and angry, Gladio pestered him for an explanation, and eventually Dad said it was ‘a potential security issue’. Gladio spent hours trying to visualize how Lycus could be a threat to him -- Gladio was bigger and stronger, Lycus was hilarious and fast on the field but had no combat training whatsoever -- when he realized that wasn’t the point at all. Lycus could be a threat to Noctis. And as ever, anything that happened to Gladio was actually about someone else instead.

He imagined that his Dad had caught Lycus doing something when he stayed over. Going through his office, maybe, or trying to get into the weapons cabinet. He doesn’t mean to, but somehow the rest of the class turns against Lycus as well, and he stops speaking up in class, stops being funny and starts being mean. But not to Gladio; Gladio doesn’t talk to him anymore. As ordered.

Later, he learned that Lycus’ dad was in an argument with the King about infrastructure development in his district. That was all it was.

It’s not that he doesn’t forgive his father -- there are lots of things he’ll never forgive him for, but he’s learned to live with them -- it’s that he’ll never stop resenting him for it. Hating him, for making Gladio an instrument of his thoughtless cruelty.

~

It’s not that he envies Noct. Yeah, Gladio has to guard him, but Noct also has to guard himself, all in preparation for his future as the King. And Gladio has seen how the King lives.

Early in his training, he spent a lot of time trailing his Dad around, just seeing how things worked. After Noct’s thirteenth birthday, the press suddenly shifted their attention from the Prince (who they speculated about wildly -- was he doing well in school? Did he have friends, a girlfriend, post-traumatic stress disorder? Did he cry at his mother’s grave every year?) to the King. Was he planning to remarry?

Remarry? The King?

Gladio wasn’t sure where the question came from, but when it hit, it hit everywhere. Every state banquet was suddenly an opportunity for photos of the King and his conversation partners, accompanied by endless speculation about what that smile meant, that hand shake, that choice of drink, or tie, or watch, and so on. If the person they targeted didn’t answer their questions, they became the target of even more speculation. It wasn’t just the gutter press, either. Gladio turned on the TV at prime time one day and was shocked to see an hour-long special about the King, his courtship and marriage with the Queen, and the potential legal issues surrounding his (rumored) remarriage. They were going to have a special segment about the Prince, with a psychologist to talk about step-families and trauma.

Gladio turned it off, feeling voyeuristic. Everyone in the Citadel was tense after that, bristling with rage, but there was nothing they could do about any of it.

Gladio, in his role as his father’s obedient shadow, was also made privy to a top-level conversation on the topic between Clarus, Cor, and Drautos. Some of the figures pursued by the press had merely been caught in the crossfire, they concluded. Others were attempting to use the publicity to their advantage, which was not a problem for their offices. A few, maybe, had real aims on the King, and ‘love’ didn’t seem to be an option they even considered. Clarus ordered thorough security checks and surveillance on the biggest names, and the whole thing made Gladio sick.

But it didn’t end there. A few weeks later, to Gladio’s horror, the Council had their own version of this discussion, this time with a political slant. All directly in front of the King himself. His Majesty didn’t seem perturbed by the discussion -- he exchanged a Glance with his Shield, but remained otherwise unreadable -- and yet Gladio burned with embarrassment and indignation for him.

~

So as much as Gladio resents Noct sometimes, he also pities him. And so he guards himself, socializes carefully, makes friends among the children of his father’s associates, and never gets too close to anyone.

In high school, he falls in love once, and he’s too busy with dates that ended in making out and heavy petting to notice at first. When he did, he broke it off immediately, cited some excuse about his duties and his dad not thinking the relationship was a good idea. All he could think about was getting away, getting away, getting away. When he got home, his heart was still pounding, and he checked all the locks and codes twice. Was he scared, or guilty?

When they told him they’d confronted his father, his heart stopped. He was certain he was about to be caught in his lie. But the rambling, teary argument that followed revealed that Clarus had been sympathetic but firm, and had invented a completely false conversation to back up Gladio’s falsehoods. 

Afterwards, he never brought it up with his son, and Gladio never asked.

~

After high school, in the Crownsguard, Gladio makes a new set of friends. Many of them are older than him and worldly in ways he isn’t. They have their own routines, which Gladio is indoctrinated in. The whole idea of ‘friends with benefits’ was a pretty sweet deal, he felt, especially since these ‘friends’ often went out on assignment afterwards and he never had to see them again.

(Except Ignis. They only hook-up once -- okay, twice -- or maybe three times -- but they don’t talk about it. More than the weapons training or survival courses, it’s the most dangerous thing they’ve ever done.)

At the same time, fifteen-year-old Noct makes his first friend. Prompto. Weird kid, goofy, but likeable. Not cool, really, but then, neither is Noctis. They spend their time goofing around, playing video games and doing homework. Unlike Gladio’s ‘friends’, Prompto stayed, and Gladio was happy for it. Noct needed a friend.

Not like Gladio. Gladio didn’t need anything.

~

During his training with the Kingsglaive, Gladio developed a reputation of sorts. He was known for taking people on flashy dates to exclusive clubs (getting in was effortless, for him), hooking up, and then moving on. All perfectly friendly and above board. He worked himself to exhaustion all week, spent most of his weekend in bed with someone new, and went back to the routine again on Monday. Never the same person twice.

His peers admired him for it. His Dad asked a few questions, and when Gladio snapped, he backed off with a scowl. Iris … Gladio convinced himself she didn’t know what was happening.

Noct and Prompto started dating then, too. It was a terrible idea, and Gladio knew it, but it was clear the kids were in love and besides, he’d seen how the King lived. How Noct would one day live. Hell, he was already half-inside the bubble anyway. He covered for them, even from Ignis for a while (and boy did Ignis give him shit for that), and then he and Ignis covered for them together.

It was good. Nothing was missing, everything was in its place. It was good.

~

When the treaty discussions start up, Gladio ends his dalliances with his fellow Glaives and ‘Guard members. He needs to be focused. No holes in his, and thus in Noct’s, security; no gaps someone could wriggle their way through. It’s easier than he thought it would be. He takes up reading to fill his sudden spare time.

Before the betrothal is announced, Prompto and Noct stop … doing whatever they’d been doing. Noct called it ‘hooking up’, but couldn’t quite pull off the lie. Prompto started training with the Crownsguard, and Gladio had to stand by and watch Prompto run, face-first, into the same hook-up culture he’d just left behind. It was different, from this angle. He didn’t like that Prompto was getting off with people he didn’t know. He didn’t like how they didn’t care about him, how they used bad pickup lines and groped him in public. How they didn’t know about his photos, or his parents, or the kitchen scale on his counter, or his obsessive knowledge about calorie counts and chocobos.

They didn’t love Prompto, but Noct did. From a distance. The kid had turned into a good actor at some point

Prompto got pulled into the wash cycle of hook-ups and break-ups fast enough, but Noct continued on alone. More and more his eyes came to resemble panes of glass, from which something shadowy and mute peered out in silence.

~

After Altissa, Gladio starts sleeping beside Ignis. Just sleeping. They end up spooned together most of the time, Gladio at Ignis’s back, looking out into the darkness that Ignis can’t see. Guarding him from it. Ignis is weird, strangely muted and palpably discouraged, but he clutches back at Gladio as hard as Gladio clutches him.

~

In Zegnautus Keep, Gladio wakes one morning to see Noct and Prompto talking. They know he’s up and moving, their conversation soft and halting behind him. He hears when they fall into a kiss, and stays turned away, giving them their privacy. His face is burning but he’s also amused, a little heartsick, and quietly happy for them.

It’s the last morning the four of them will have together, although they don’t know it yet. Further in the Keep, the crystal and the darkness are waiting. Even further in the distance, a blood-stained dawn calls their names.

~

As they set out into the Keep again, Noct pauses and looks at him. At Gladio. His eyes are full of questions and uncertainty, like a kid who needs to hear that everything will be okay. That he’s done everything right.

“What?” Gladio asks, confused.

Noct just sighs. “Nothing.”

Gladio stares at his downturned face a moment longer, trying to figure him out. He doesn’t think he’s done anything to make him mad. 

“All right,” Gladio says finally -- dubiously -- and without another word, he leads the way.

[libraryleopard]

jesus take the wheel

Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolo di Genova, 1.3k, no archive warnings apply, read on ao3

“Maybe I’d be a better driver in America,” Nicky muses. “Everything is opposite, over there. Switching things up might help.”

“I don’t think we need to test that hypothesis out,” Joe says. “Nothing is better in America.”

Or: A domestic one-shot in which I project my terrible driving skills onto Nicky.

The thing is, Nicky is fine driving when it's life or death. (Well, not death, he supposes. But there’s certain phrases you can’t drop from your vocabulary, no matter the language or century, and hyperbole has its place in every dialect.)

The point is, he’s great behind the wheel of a car when careening and explosions are involved. When the goal is to get away as fast as possible with a minimal amount of limb regeneration, consequences be damned.

But anything more mundane? Well. There’s a reason Joe is the designated driver. Nicky tends to drive like an army is on his heels, no matter the circumstances.

“I miss horses,” Nicky grumbles. “You never had to care about stop lights when there were horses.”

“Horses didn’t have air conditioning,” Joe points out, drumming his fingers aimlessly on the steering wheel. “And they smelled a hell of a lot worse.”

Nicky can’t exactly argue with that—the twenty-first century may have its horrors, but the torrent of cool air pouring from the car vents is certainly not one of them. He props his feet on the dashboard, eyeing the red light ahead. “There’s no one here, anyway, can’t you just go?” The tiny eastern European town they’ve settled in for the time being–just until the dust settles, Andy claims–is small enough that even on a weekday, the main intersection at the center of town remains empty.

“That, my darling Niccolò, is exactly why you have not been entrusted with the leadership on this most delicate mission,” Joe replies.

“Yusuf,” Nicky sighs. “I think I could manage a grocery run.”

“Nicky,” Joe sighs back. “Your lack of respect for the great traffic laws of Croatia says otherwise. I will compromise Andy’s baklava for no one. Else we might find ourselves testing the limit of our immortality rather sooner than we expected.”

“What about Malta?” Nicky retorts. “I was a superb driver in Malta.”

“You were superb in many ways in Malta, my love,” Joe concedes, a smile tugging at his lips. Nicky knows exactly what Joe’s remembering when he side-eyes him, gaze catching on his lips. “But as the car still ended up a flaming wreck, I’m not taking that as proof of your everyday driving skills.”

“Those were unique circumstances,” Nicky protests.

“And these are not.” Joe eyes the stoplight, which remains stubbornly red.

“Maybe I’d be a better driver in America,” Nicky muses. “Everything is opposite, over there. Switching things up might help.”

“I don’t think we need to test that hypothesis out,” Joe says. “Nothing is better in America.”

Technically, Nicky can drive. He has the license to prove it—several dozen, actually, though since the names and birthdates are far from accurate, they don’t exactly prove much. He’s just not…particularly up to date. They all have blind spots in this modern world–Andy’s attitude towards smartphones is a reluctant reliance above some mixture of confusion and paranoia and Joe occasionally finds himself less than clear on the ever-shifting borders of countries (when, exactly, did the Soviet Union stop regularly appearing on the news?). Nicky’s blindspot just happens to involve four-way intersections and general bemusement at yield signs.

“It’s barely been a century,” Nicky protests. “Give a man some adjustment time.”

Stoplights are not really the problem, if he’s being honest. It’s more the sudden vehicular evolution that really threw him–how a few automobiles cruising at thirty kilometers an hour exploded into a world-wide industry of speed that always catches him off guard when he looks away for a few years. Now they talk? And drive themselves? It almost seems a waste to stay on top of such an ever-evolving invention. By the time he’d gotten comfortable with a stick shift, they were practically obsolete.

The light finally flickers green and Joe eases the car into acceleration with a whiff of exhaust and a rumble of tires against concrete.

The thing about cars, Nicky supposes, is that they truly remind him of how far he’s come. There’s always a moment—a pure, unavoidable split second—when his foot hits the accelerator and he realizes just how unrecognizable this world would be to the man he once was. This great hulking beast of metal and glass at his command, roaring through smooth stone streets with a belly full of gas and sparks.

Never in his wildest dreams could he have dreamt such a thing. Not in his days as a priest with his rosary smooth beneath his fingers, not once he’d traded worn beads for a knight’s sword, heavy with purpose and intended glory. Not even once he’d seen his flesh improbably knit itself together, once he’d met the eyes of a man once placed as his enemy and felt a spark that was anything but animosity. That mankind could forge metal and distill substances from the depths of the earth into something he could tame with a single press of his foot, with the turn of a key, is still remarkable to him.

He likes to remind himself, still, of the everyday miracle of living so long. There’s always heartache, always the wounds that fade from flesh but never soul, but there is also this moment here in a creation his civilization never lived to see, alongside a man he would have died hating if not for a turn of fate.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Joe asks as they slow to another stop. He’s always testing out new idioms, letting his tongue trip across the fresh inventions of language, as fleeting as sugar between the teeth.

Nicky shakes his head. “I don’t like that one as much. Are you supposed to be paying me to speak my mind? And pennies are so transient, I’m sure they’ll be gone in a few decades and the whole phrase rendered useless.”

“Better make use of it while it lasts,” Joe says. He reaches out for Nicky’s hand without even looking, easy as breath, and smoothes a thumb across the back of Nicky’s hand.

Nicky traces his own finger across his husband’s hands, the contours almost as familiar as his own. They wear rings for now, having deemed this place and time safe enough to indulge. They’ve been married almost more times than Nicky can count—in Arabic, in Italian, in English, in Dutch, in silence, in a dozen more languages than he can count, alone beneath the sky or in grand churches or mosques—yet they’ve always had to be cautious about it. Perhaps the world is finally beginning to catch up, in fits and starts, to what they and so many others have always known to be true in their hearts, even if only witnessed by the shadows.

“We should get married again,” he says, suddenly. “It’s been long enough since the last time.”

Joe tilts his head, the evening light pouring through the windshield sparking gold from his brown eyes. “You think? Perhaps we should spice things up and get a divorce for once.”

Nicky scoffs. “That involves more paperwork than either of us is willing to cough up. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

Joe laughs. “Fair. Another marriage, then.”

“Yes.” Nicky laces fingers tight with Joe’s, feels how perfectly they weave together as if some long-ago creator molded them to fit. “Now that Nile’s here. It’d be nice, I think, to celebrate with someone new.”

The unsaid between them: that this will be the first wedding in centuries without Booker, where he can’t get wine drunk and quote rambling sections from classic literature on love and commitment and they’ll all pretend his tipsiness isn’t to hide an edge of bitter jealousy. That Andy may not live to see the next time they exchange vows.

But at least they have Andy for now, and Nile, and each other.

“It would be nice.” Joe’s free hand is still splayed on the steering wheel and for a moment, Nicky is possessed by the urge to take it, to take all of him, and hold him tight, Croatian traffic safety laws be damned. Nicky at least knows enough to check in the mirrors that the road behind him is clear before he leans in and reminds Joe that there’s one language their mouths will always be fluent in, no matter the century.

[thenightling]

The Dreaming (2018) in a nut shell

Full plot of The Dreaming (2018 run).  This is copied and pasted from a Discord conversation because I didn’t feel like repeating myself...  That’s also why it’s a bit disjointed.

I'll explain the whole plot as best I can, bear with me. There's this monstress named Dora living in The Dreaming, and she's got a chip on her shoulder since Morpheus had once promised her she'd never have to be afraid ever again and that was shortly before The Kindly Ones.  Anyway, she's been haunting the dream of this woman dying of throat cancer (revealed to be Rose's mother).  Daniel goes MIA and doesn't seem to want to be found.

Suddenly these "blanks" generic looking humanoid enterities start pouring in from cracks in the dreaming.   Mervyn invents a racial slur for them of Soggies (totally not "wet backs").

While Daniel is gone Judge Gallows (another old DC horror host) takes over The Dreaming and promises to make The dreaming great again.

Dora befriends one of the blanks who is very child-like and names him Ziggy. Merv starts penning them up on behalf of Judge Gallows and even attempts to lynch Ziggy. 

Merv has a grudge.  Shortly before Judge Gallows took over Lucien used the helm to un-create Merv's friends right on the steps of the caslte and it was implied to be out of spite

("I did warn you." - said by Lucien).  It's a "They took our jobs" thing, apparently. The blanks are more efficient. No immigration metaphors here, nope.

Lucien is apparently slowly losing his mind / going senile.  He can't remember anything.   Eventually Judge Gallows gets defeated and replaced with this weird AI, yes an AI named Wan.   WAN, as it turns out was created by this character who looks suspiciously like Steve Jobs. Actual character name: Hyperion Keter.

Totally not Steve Jobs had a nightmare decades before where Dora was attacking him.  he had confronted her in the dream and told her she's not real.  This caused her to have an existential crisis and flee into The Dreaming where Morpheus had tended to her and sealed her own memories to protect her mind.  He also hid the newly re-created ruby dreamstone inside her to aid her until she no longer needed it.

Steve Jobs-Knock-off guy creates Wan with the intention of invading and conquering The dreaming.  He thinks all the ills of humanity come from dreams.  Greed, superstition, religious zealousness.   Oh, by the way, Judge Gallows heavily indicates that Morpheus caused the civil war and holocaust by creating him (Judge Gallows) to prey on man's fear of "The other". So anyway, while that was going on Daniel was playing human and dating Ivy. Steve Jobs sends some occultists to steal a lock of Ivy's hair to control her.  Ivy gets upset when Daniel won't let her tattoo him since she's a tattoo artist. (that's where I grew to hate her).  She doesn’t accept no means no with his bodily autonomy.  Daniel apologizes to her and proposes marriage.  He gives her an emerald ring.

The occultists (working out of Fawny Rig) control Ivy and she gives Daniel a dream catcher / tree of life tattoo that works as a geas to bar him from The Dreaming and prevent him from calling out for help.

Ivy tries to "apologize" by giving him a cup of tea but it turns out to be poisoned.   Desire (or what appears to be Desire, it might be posthumous Morpheus in disguise, the face is always partly hidden and he's very thin) warns Rose of what's going on and Rose slaps the drink from Daniel's hand but he's already had a taste.  Daniel, freaks the f--k out.

A dog walker eats his own fingers right there on the beach.   Someone screams until their vocal chords burst in their throat.  Daniel is maming and mutilating right and left (and this is NOT where those partiers were killed, that was earlier and said very nonchalantly during the dating montage.  Daniel made some drunk bachelor party guys who cat called Ivy walk into the ocean and drown...  I think he killed the entire party...)

Daniel finds the occultists and traps them all in terrible nightmare half-concious states but still weakened and unable to return to The Dreaming he goes to apologize to Ivy, knowing she was being controlled but it's too late, she's ODed and brain dead.

He takes her soul with him to flee to another universe.

Dora, meanwhile, gets a hold of Destruction's sword, briefly meets up with Nuala (who has learned Titania's true name thanks to Daniel stopping by for help with the fae).  Daniel gets the egg that Titania has from back during the original Books of Magic, this is the "Mundane Egg" able to open or create another universe.

Anyway, back in The Dreaming Wan (the AI) is trying to run things and doesn't know it has a secret dark side programming to destroy the place.

Wan legitimately wants to do good and blacks out when the other side takes over. An AI with a split personality. Wan talks Abel into taking the initiative and kill Cain...

Cain does not revive. Wan also digitizes the entire dreaming library because of Lucien's memory problems.   Lucien decides he wants to die.

Abel scooped out Matthew's eyes with a spoon and gives him his own eyes so Matthew can see what he sses, the secret that Wan is destroying The Dreaming. Matthew with giant human eyes sticking out of his tiny raven head, Abel (whose eyes grow back), and Dora, head out to save the dreaming.

Cain, meanwhile, his soul was uploaded into an AI at the home of Not-Steve Jobs. So he's there.  The heroes make their way there and learn the story of why things are happening.   Poor not-Steve Jobs was dying of cancer (this was really tasteless to model him after Steve jobs).  And Daniel briefly came to him, showing him what he was destroying in destroying The Dreaming,  Hyperion tried to set things right but his own minion stopped him.

Dora shows up and accidentally shuts down Steve's life support system. Rose gets told more exposition dump from "Desire" (I'm telling you, there are clues it's actually Morpheus) She hijacks a bus to get to Steve Jobs'  place. Here we discover the re-created ruby dream stone was inside Dora the whole time.  Lucien, meanwhile, had tried to be re-abosrbed into The Dreaming with the help of his dream friends (eve, Merv, etc).  And he has a brief visit with Death who introduces him to Steve Jobs and gives him a special book that has all of Lucien's lost memories. Dora returns to The dreaming with the dream stone, and her, Lucien, and the other dream folk are able to summon Daniel back, breaking the geas spell he was under (Ivy is left behind).

Dora is a Night Hag, by the way.   That was her big secret besides having the ruby in her. They kept harping on how special she was, that she wasn't like the others in the Dreaming. ...she was a Night hag, that's it.  They kept going on about her being special, this big secret, she's a night hag.  Eve delviers a line I cannot forgive.  She says something like "We were worried he only kept us around out of laziness or loneliness. We were wrong."  They were HAPPY they were there as a failsafe, as tools in case he got captured again in the waking world.  They would rather be tools than for someone to want them around out of loneliness?!  Daniel uncreates Wan but as Wan begns to fade the good side of Wan helps Daniel set things right and apologizes for its other personality. Daniel erases Rose's memory of the entire adventure (which I think is bullshit).  She lost her f--king daughter, you asshole!  And Lucien learns to be 'More assertive" and when Daniel requests he come to the throne room so he can thank them formally Lucien says no, because he's drinking with Dora.

"character growth" TM

 hated Simon's run of The Dreaming but not as much as I hate Caitlin R. Kiernan's. 

Dreaming Waking Hours is about a Nightmare named Ruin who escapes to the waking world because he's fallen in love with a mortal.   It's so much better but all the events of Simon's Dreaming are still canon so that's a problem. The villain being modeled after Steve Jobs even if he sees the error of his ways in the end was totally tasteless. My hands ache from writing all that out...

Oh, and Cain is back to normal (for him) he and Abel took turns in a sort of tag team tormenting the tech support for Wan, via nightmares. So they couldn't intervene in stopping the destruction of the AI. That was actually a fun scene. "There will be no tech support today." Cain shows up with a chainsaw.

Also the reason "not Steve Jobs" knew about Dream was because he found a journal from an occultist at a garage sale that described Morpheus' capture.

I think I'm still traumatized from reading it, especially the early issues where Merv was used as a Trump supporter allegory. And Abel did give Matthew back his normal raven eyes while they were in Steve Job's house.   Though don't ask me how Abel even did the initial eye surgery of putting his eyes in Matthew while he was blinded.  

Someone tried telling me Simon Spurrier wasn't trying for a Republican metaphor, he was making a commentary on the Tories How is that better?!?

It's still a very dated political reference.

[aion-rsa]

Top New Horror Books in April 2021

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Where horror meets speculative fiction you’ll find inventive fears and chilling uncertainty. Here are some of the horror books we’re most excited about and/or are currently consuming…

Top New Horror Books in April 2021

Whisper Down the Lane by Clay Chapman

Type: Novel Publisher: Quirk Books Release date: April 6

Den of Geek says: A quasi-historical novel dissects memory and moral panic. What could be a flat story about mistrust has set itself apart with positive reviews praising both the fun and the terror.

Publisher’s summary: Inspired by the McMartin preschool trials and the Satanic Panic of the ‘80s, the critically acclaimed author of The Remaking delivers another pulse pounding, true-crime-based horror novel.

Richard doesn’t have a past. For him, there is only the present: a new marriage to Tamara, a first chance at fatherhood to her son Elijah, and a quiet but pleasant life as an art teacher at Elijah’s elementary school in Danvers, Virginia. Then the body of a rabbit, ritualistically murdered, appears on the school grounds with a birthday card for Richard tucked beneath it. Richard doesn’t have a birthday—but Sean does . . .

Sean is a five-year-old boy who has just moved to Greenfield, Virginia, with his mother. Like most mothers of the 1980s, she’s worried about bills, childcare, putting food on the table . . . and an encroaching threat to American life that can take the face of anyone: a politician, a friendly neighbor, or even a teacher. When Sean’s school sends a letter to the parents revealing that Sean’s favorite teacher is under investigation, a white lie from Sean lights a fire that engulfs the entire nation—and Sean and his mother are left holding the match.

Now, thirty years later, someone is here to remind Richard that they remember what Sean did. And though Sean doesn’t exist anymore, someone needs to pay the price for his lies.

Buy Whisper Down the Lane by Clay Chapman.

The Drowning Kind by Jennifer McMahon

Type: Novel Publisher: Gallery/Scout Press  Release date: April 6

Den of Geek says: You won’t want to go near a body of water for a while. Highly-praised author McMahon looks into the deep as an author one critic called a fitting heir to Shirley Jackson.

Publisher’s summary: When social worker Jax receives nine missed calls from her older sister, Lexie, she assumes that it’s just another one of her sister’s episodes. Manic and increasingly out of touch with reality, Lexie has pushed Jax away for over a year. But the next day, Lexie is dead: drowned in the pool at their grandmother’s estate. When Jax arrives at the house to go through her sister’s things, she learns that Lexie was researching the history of their family and the property. And as she dives deeper into the research herself, she discovers that the land holds a far darker past than she could have ever imagined.

In 1929, thirty-seven-year-old newlywed Ethel Monroe hopes desperately for a baby. In an effort to distract her, her husband whisks her away on a trip to Vermont, where a natural spring is showcased by the newest and most modern hotel in the Northeast. Once there, Ethel learns that the water is rumored to grant wishes, never suspecting that the spring takes in equal measure to what it gives.

A haunting, twisty, and compulsively readable thrill ride from the author who Chris Bohjalian has dubbed the “literary descendant of Shirley Jackson,” The Drowning Kind is a modern-day ghost story that illuminates how the past, though sometimes forgotten, is never really far behind us.

Buy The Drowning Kind by Jennifer McMahon.

Near the Bone by Christina Henry

Type: Novel Publisher: Berkley Release date: April 13

Den of Geek says: Isolation often makes for some good, character-focused horror (maybe this year in particular). A mix of human and monstrous violence haunts this mountain.

Publisher’s summary: Mattie can’t remember a time before she and William lived alone on a mountain together. She must never make him upset. But when Mattie discovers the mutilated body of a fox in the woods, she realizes that they’re not alone after all. 

There’s something in the woods that wasn’t there before, something that makes strange cries in the night, something with sharp teeth and claws. 

When three strangers appear on the mountaintop looking for the creature in the woods, Mattie knows their presence will anger William. Terrible things happen when William is angry.

Buy Near the Bone by Christina Henry.

Top New Horror Books in March 2021

Later by Stephen King

Type: Novel Publisher: Hard Case Crime Release date: March 2 Den of Geek says: Stephen King, author of The Stand, The Shining, and many more, needs no introduction. The top name in horror is sure to be the one everyone is talking about.

Publisher’s summary: The son of a struggling single mother, Jamie Conklin just wants an ordinary childhood. But Jamie is no ordinary child. Born with an unnatural ability his mom urges him to keep secret, Jamie can see what no one else can see and learn what no one else can learn. But the cost of using this ability is higher than Jamie can imagine – as he discovers when an NYPD detective draws him into the pursuit of a killer who has threatened to strike from beyond the grave. 

LATER is Stephen King at his finest, a terrifying and touching story of innocence lost and the trials that test our sense of right and wrong. With echoes of King’s classic novel It, LATER is a powerful, haunting, unforgettable exploration of what it takes to stand up to evil in all the faces it wears.

Buy Later by Stephen King.

The Second Bell by Gabriela Houston

Type: Novel Publisher: Angry Robot Release date: March 9 Den of Geek says: Horror meets legend in a different take on the werewolf. Author Gabriela Houston has been praised for her character work and mixture of grounded realism and chilling fantasy.

Publisher’s summary: To the world you are an abomination; a monster with unholy abilities. You’re shunned and left to fend for yourself. Your only chance of survival is to tap into that dark potential – would you do it?

In an isolated mountain community, sometimes a child is born with two hearts. Such a child – a striga – is considered a dangerous demon, which must be abandoned on the edge of the forest to protect the community. The only choice the child’s mother can make is whether to leave her home with her infant, or stay behind and try to forget.

Miriat made her choice. She and her nineteen-year-old striga daughter, Salka, now live a life of deprivation and hardship in a remote village, where to follow the impulses of the other heart is forbidden.

But Salka is headstrong and young, and when threatened with losing everything, she is forced to explore the depths of her true nature, testing the bonds between mother and child.

The Second Bell by Gabriela Houston.

Our Last Echoes by Kate Alice Marshall

Type: Novel Publisher: Viking Books for Young Readers Release date: March 16

Den of Geek says: This YA pick reminds us pleasantly of Twin Peaks or Alan Wake. A spooky setting and a protagonist with a strong hook to its location promises a tightly constructed story.

Publisher’s summary: In 1973, the thirty-one residents of Bitter Rock disappeared. In 2003, so did my mother. Now, I’ve come to Bitter Rock to find out what happened to her–and to me. Because Bitter Rock has many ghosts. And I might be one of them.

Sophia’s earliest memory is of drowning. She remembers the darkness of the water and the briny taste as it filled her throat, the sensation of going under. She remembers hands pulling her back to safety, but that memory is impossible–she’s never been to the ocean. 

But then Sophia gets a mysterious call about an island names Bitter Rock, and learns that she and her mother were there fifteen years ago–and her mother never returned. The hunt for answers lures her to Bitter Rock, but the more she uncovers, the clearer it is that her mother is just one in a chain of disappearances. 

People have been vanishing from Bitter Rock for decades, leaving only their ghostly echoes behind. Sophia is the only one who can break the cycle–or risk becoming nothing more than another echo haunting the island.

Buy Our Last Echoes by Kate Alice Marshall.

Top New Horror Books in February 2021

The Burning Girls by C.J. Tudor

Type: Novel Publisher: Ballantine Books Release date: Feb. 9 Den of Geek says: A spooky thriller set in a small village promises ghostly visitations and weird happenings that a single mother and her daughter need to investigate. Evil lurking in churches and exorcisms are a horror staple, but the historical grounding here gives it a unique texture. Publisher’s summary: A dark history lingers in Chapel Croft. Five hundred years ago, Protestant martyrs were betrayed—then burned. Thirty years ago, two teenage girls disappeared without a trace. And a few weeks ago, the vicar of the local parish hanged himself in the nave of the church.

Reverend Jack Brooks, a single parent with a fourteen-year-old daughter and a heavy conscience, arrives in the village hoping for a fresh start. Instead, Jack finds a town rife with conspiracies and secrets, and is greeted with a strange welcome package: an exorcism kit and a note that warns, “But there is nothing covered up that will not be revealed and hidden that will not be known.”

The more Jack and daughter, Flo, explore the town and get to know its strange denizens, the deeper they are drawn into the age-old rifts, mysteries, and suspicions. And when Flo begins to see specters of girls ablaze, it becomes apparent there are ghosts here that refuse to be laid to rest.

Uncovering the truth can be deadly in a village with a bloody past, where everyone has something to hide and no one trusts an outsider.

Buy The Burning Girls by C.J. Tudor.

What Big Teeth by Rose Szabo

Type: Novel Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux Release date: Feb. 2 Den of Geek says: Fans of the human side of werewolves or the everyday life of the Addams Family may like this story of a student returning home to a strange place after a taste of the outside world. Written for a YA market, but the inventive concept means it has crossover appeal. Publisher’s summary: Eleanor Zarrin has been estranged from her wild family for years. When she flees boarding school after a horrifying incident, she goes to the only place she thinks is safe: the home she left behind. But when she gets there, she struggles to fit in with her monstrous relatives, who prowl the woods around the family estate and read fortunes in the guts of birds.

Eleanor finds herself desperately trying to hold the family together―in order to save them all, Eleanor must learn to embrace her family of monsters and tame the darkness inside her.

Buy What Big Teeth by Rose Szabo.

Never Have I Ever by Isabel Yap

Type: Short story collection Publisher: Small Beer Press Release date: Feb. 23 Den of Geek says: At Den of Geek we’re always looking for horror that mixes with science fiction and fantasy. Isabel Yap does exactly that. A well-established writer with short stories in genre pillars like Tor.com, Lightspeed, and Strange Horizons, her stories are vivid and unsettling. She’s garnered praise from authors including Tamsyn Muir. Publisher’s summary: “Am I dead?” Mebuyen sighs. She was hoping the girl would not ask. Spells and stories, urban legends and immigrant tales: the magic in Isabel Yap’s debut collection jumps right off the page, from the joy in her new novella, “A Spell for Foolish Hearts” to the terrifying tension of the urban legend “Have You Heard the One About Anamaria Marquez.”

Buy Never Have I Ever by Isabel Yap.

Top New Horror Books in January 2021

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In the Garden of Spite by Camilla Bruce

Type: Novel Publisher: Berkley Release date: Jan. 19

Den of Geek says: This novel for fans of the line where true crime meets horror follows Belle Gunness, a real life serial killer. This looks like a darkly fascinating portrait of a wicked and deadly woman, showing how the “Widow of La Porte” clawed her way through history, leaving victims in her wake. Publisher’s summary: They whisper about her in Chicago. Men come to her with their hopes, their dreams–their fortunes. But no one sees them leave. No one sees them at all after they come to call on the Widow of La Porte.

The good people of Indiana may have their suspicions, but if those fools knew what she’d given up, what was taken from her, how she’d suffered, surely they’d understand. Belle Gunness learned a long time ago that a woman has to make her own way in this world. That’s all it is. A bloody means to an end. A glorious enterprise meant to raise her from the bleak, colorless drudgery of her childhood to the life she deserves. After all, vermin always survive.

Buy In the Garden of Spite by Camilla Bruce.

In Darkness, Shadows Breathe by Catherine Cavendish

Type: Novel Publisher: Flame Tree Press Release date: Jan. 19

Den of Geek says: Intentionally disorienting fiction can be hit or miss, but in this case it sounds like the non-linear storytelling adds to the intended feeling of a nightmare. Old-fashioned Gothic horror fans with a taste for dark fantasy might enjoy this one. Publisher’s summary: In a luxury apartment and in the walls of a modern hospital, the evil that was done continues to thrive. They are in the hands of an entity that knows no boundaries and crosses dimensions – bending and twisting time itself – and where danger waits in every shadow. The battle is on for their bodies and souls and the line between reality and nightmare is hard to define. Through it all, the words of Lydia Warren Carmody haunt them. But who was she? And why have Carol and Nessa been chosen?

The answer lies deep in the darkness… 

Buy In Darkness, Shadows Breathe by Catherine Cavendish.

A Dowry of Blood by S.T. Gibson

Type: Novel Publisher: Nyx Publishing Release date: Jan. 31

Den of Geek says: Dracula retellings are common, as are takes on the famous vampire’s wives. This one sets itself apart by focusing on a relationship between the wives themselves, coloring in the classic story with what the author calls “sapphic yearning at the opera.” Publisher’s summary: Saved from the brink of death by a mysterious stranger, Constanta is transformed from a medieval peasant into a bride fit for an undying king. But when Dracula draws a cunning aristocrat and a starving artist into his web of passion and deceit, Constanta realizes that her beloved is capable of terrible things. Finding comfort in the arms of her rival consorts, she begins to unravel their husband’s dark secrets.

With the lives of everyone she loves on the line, Constanta will have to choose between her own freedom and her love for her husband. But bonds forged by blood can only be broken by death.

Buy A Dowry of Blood by S.T. Gibson.

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[ryanmeft]

Ryan’s Favorite Films of 2019

A stuttering detective,

A top hat-wearing vamp

A forced-perspective war,

A bit of Blaxploitation camp

Prisoners on a space ship

Having sex with bears

A writer goes remembering

Whenever his pain flares

  A prancing, dancing Hitler

A gambler high on strife

Here will go cavorting with

A mom who becomes a wife

A family plot with many threads

Three men against their own

A stuntman and his actor

A mobster now quite alone

Doubles under the earth

Two men in a tall house

Are here to watch a woman who

Is battling with her spouse

A family’s plans for their strong son

Go awry one night

A man rejects his country

Which is spoiling for a fight

 A house built by his grandpa

(Maybe; we’re not sure)

Looks out upon three prisoners

Whose passions are a lure

  All these are on my list this year

It’s longer than before

Because picking only ten this time

Was too great of a chore

  What are limits anyway?

They’re just things we invented

I don’t really find them useful

So, this year, I’ve dissented

  You may have noticed this time out

That numbers, I did grant

Promise they’ll stay in this order, though?

Now that, I just can’t

  I’m always changing my mind

Because, after all, you see

Good film is about the heart

And mine’s rather finicky

  There are a lot more I could name

(And I’ll change my mind at any time)

For now, though, consider these

The ones I found sublime

 20. Motherless Brooklyn

I’ve got a (hard-boiled) soft spot for 90’s neo-noirs like L.A. Confidential, Red Rock West and Seven, and Edward Norton’s ‘50’s take on Jonathan Lethem’s 90’s -set novel can stand firmly in that company.

19. Doctor Sleep

There’s something about Stephen King’s best writing that transcends mere popularity; his work may not be fine literature, but it is immune to the fads of the moment. So, too, are the best movies based on that work. This one, an engaging adventure-horror, deserved better than it got from audiences.

18. Jojo Rabbit

There was a time when the anything-goes satire of Mel Brooks could produce a major box office hit.  Disney’s prudish refusal to market the film coupled with the dominance of franchises means that’s no longer the case. If you bothered to give Jojo a shot, though, you got the strange-but-rewarding experience of guffawing one moment and being horrified the next.

17. By The Grace of God

I’d venture this is the least-seen film on my list; even among us brie-eating, wine-sniffing art house snobs, I rarely hear it mentioned. Focusing on the perspectives of three men dealing with a particularly heinous and unrepentant abusive priest and the hierarchy that protects him, it’s every bit as disquieting and infuriating as 2015’s Oscar-winning Spotlight.

16. Waves

You think Trey Edward Shultz’s Waves will be one thing---a domestic drama about an affluent African-American family (and that in and of itself is a rarity). Then it becomes something else entirely. It addresses something movies often avoid: that as life goes on, the person telling the story will always change.

15. Transit

You’re better off not questioning exactly where and when the film is set (it is based on a book about Nazi Germany but has been changed to be a more generalized Fascist state). The central theme here is identity, as three people change theirs back and forth based on need and desire.

14. American Woman

Movies about regular, working class, small-town American usually focus on men. This one is about a much-too-young mother and grandmother, played brilliantly by Sierra Miller, dealing with unexpected loss and the attendant responsibilities she isn’t ready for. 

13. Marriage Story

There is an argument between a married couple in here that is as true a human moment as ever was on screen---free of trumped-up screenplay drama and accurate to how angry people really argue. The entire movie strives to be about the kind of realistic divorce you don’t see on-screen. It is oddly refreshing.

12. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Quentin Tarantino’s love letter to 70’s Tinseltown is essentially a question: What if the murder that changed the industry forever had gone down differently? Along the way, it also manages to be a clever and insightful study of fame and fulfillment, or lack thereof.

11. High Life

Claire Denis is damned determined not to be boring. Your reaction to her latest film will probably depend on how receptive you are to that as the driving force of a film. Myself, I’m very receptive. I want to see the personal struggles of convicts unwittingly shipped into space, told without Action-Adventure tropes, in a movie that sometimes misfires but is never dull.

 10. Dolemite Is My Name

And fuckin’ up motherfuckers is my game! Look, if you don’t like naughty words, you probably shouldn’t be reading my columns---and you definitely shouldn’t be watching this movie. Eddie Murphy plays Rudy Ray Moore, the ambitious, irrepressible and endlessly optimistic creator of Blaxpoitation character Dolemite. Have you seen the 1975 film? It’s either terrible and wonderful, or wonderful and terrible, and the jury’s still out. Either way, Moore in the film is a self-made comic who establishes himself by talking in a unique rhyming style that speaks to black Americans at a time when black pop culture (and not just the white rendition of it) was finally beginning to pierce the American consciousness. What The Disaster Artist did for The Room, this movie does for Dolemite---with the difference being I felt like I learned something I didn’t know here.

 9. 1917

Breathless, nerve-wracking and somehow intensely personal even though it almost never takes time to slow down, it is fair to call Sam Mendes’s film a thrill ride---but it’s one that enlightens us on a fading historical time, rather than simply being empty calories. Filmed in such a way as to make it seem like one continuous, two-hour take, for which some critics dismissed it as a gimmick, the technique is used to lock us in with the soldiers whose mission it is to save an entire division from disaster. We are given no information or perspective that the two central soldiers---merely two, in a countless multitude---do not have, and so we are with them at every moment, deprived of the relief of omniscience. I freely admit I tend to give anything about World War I the benefit of the doubt, but there’s no doubt that the movie earns my trust.

8. Ash Is Purest White

Known by the much less cool-sounding name Sons and Daughters of Jianghu in China, here is a story that starts off ostensibly about crime---a young woman and her boyfriend are powerful in the small-potatoes mob scene of a dying industrial town---but after the surprising first act becomes a meditation on life, perseverance and exactly how much power is worth, anyway, when it is so fleeting and so easily lost. What do you do when everything that defined you is gone? You go on living. This is my first exposure to writer-director Jia Zhangke, an oversight I must strive hard to correct in future.

7. Knives Out

The whodunit is a lost art, a standard genre belonging to a time when mass audiences could appreciate a picture even if someone didn’t run, yell or explode while running and yelling every ten minutes. Rian Johnson and an all-star cast rescued it from the brink of cinematic extinction and gave it just enough of a modern injection to keep it relevant. Every second of the film is engaging; Johnson even manages to have a character whose central trait is throwing up when asked to lie, and he makes it seem sympathetic rather than juvenile. The fantastic cast of characters is backed up with all the qualities of “true” cinema: perfect camerawork, an effective score, mesmerizing production design. As someone who didn’t much care for Johnson’s Star Wars outing, I’m honestly put out this didn’t do better at the box office than it did.

6. A Hidden Life

After a few questionable efforts and completely losing the thread with the execrable vanity project Song to Song, Terence Malick returns to his bread and butter: meditative dramas on the nature of faith, family, and being on the outside looking in, which encompass a healthy dose of nature, philosophy and people talking without moving their lips. That last is a little dig, but it’s true: Malick does Malick, and if you don’t like his thing, this true story about a German dissenter in World War II will not change your mind. For me, what Malick has done is that rarest of things: he had made a movie about faith, and about a character who is faithful, without proselytizing. That the closeness and repressiveness of the Nazi regime is characterized against Malick’s typical soaring backdrops is a masterstroke, and the best-ever use of his visual style.

5. The Lighthouse

Robert Eggers is a different kind of horror filmmaker. After redefining what was possible with traditional horror monsters in The Witch, he returned with something that couldn’t be more different: an exploration of madness more in the vein of European film than American. Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe are two men stranded in a lighthouse together slowly losing their minds, or what is left of them. The haunting score and stark, black-and-white photography evoke a nightmare caught on tape, something we’re not supposed to be seeing. It’s not satisfying in a traditional way, but for those craving something more cerebral from horror, Eggers has it covered.

4. Us

I have become slightly notorious in my own little circle for not thinking Get Out was the greatest film ever made, and now I’ve become rather known for thinking Us just might be. Ok, so that’s definite hyperbole: “greatest” is a tall claim for almost any horror movie. Yet here Jordan Peele shows that he can command an audience’s attention even when not benefiting from a popular cultural zeitgeist in terms of subject matter. It’s a movie with no easy or clear message, one that specializes in simply unsettling us with the idea that the world is fundamentally Not Right. I firmly believe that if Peele becomes a force in the genre, 50 years from now when he and all of us are gone, his first film will be remembered as a competent start, while this will be remembered as the beginning of his greatness.

3. The Last Black Man in San Francisco

Ostensibly about urban gentrification, this story of a young black man trying to save his ancestral home from the grasping reach of white encroachment is a flower with many petals to reveal. Don’t let my political-sounding description turn you off: the movie is not a polemic in the slightest, but rather a wry, sensitive look at people, their personalities and how those personalities are intertwined with the places they call home. Though the movie is the directorial debut of Joe Talbot, it is based loosely on the memories and feelings of his friend Jimmie Falls, who also plays one of the two central characters. If you’ve ever watched a place you love fall to the ravages of time and change, this movie may strike quite a chord with you.

2. Uncut Gems

When asked why this movie is great, I usually say that it was unbelievably stressful and caused me great anxiety. This description is not usually successful in selling it. The Safdie Brothers have essentially filmed chaos: a man self-destructing in slow-motion, if you can call it slow. Howard Ratner has probably been gradually exploding all his life; he strikes you as someone who came out of the womb throwing punches. He’s an addictive gambler who loves the risk much more than the reward, and can’t gain anything good in life without risking it on a proverbial roll of the dice. His behavior is destructive. His attitude is toxic. Why do we root for him? Perhaps because, as played by Adam Sandler, he never has any doubt as to who he is---something few of us can say. He’s an asshole, but he’s a genuine asshole, and somehow that’s appealing even when you’re in his line of fire.

1. Pain and Glory

When I realized I would, for the first time, have the chance to see a Pedro Almodovar film on the screen, I was overjoyed. His movies aren’t always great, but that was of little concern: he’s one of the handful of directors on the planet who can fairly call back to the avant-garde traditions of Bergman or Truffaut, making the movies he wants to make about the things he want to make them about, and I’d never seen one of his films when it was new and fresh, only months or years later on DVD.

It seems I picked right, as his latest has been almost universally hailed as one of the best of his long career. An aging, aching filmmaker spends his days in his apartment, ignoring the fans of his original hit film and most of his own acquaintances, alive or dead---he tries hard to put his memories away. Throughout the course of the movie, he re-engages with most of them in one way or another, coming to terms with who he is and where he’s been, though not in a Hallmark-movie-of-the-week way. Antonio Banderas plays him in the role that was always denied him by his stud status in Hollywood. It isn’t simply him, though: every person we meet is engaging and, we sense, has their own story outside of how they intersect with his. Most engaging is that of his deceased mother, who in her youth was played vivaciously by a sun-toughened Penelope Cruz. Perhaps Almodovar will tell us some of their stories some day. Perhaps not. I would read an entire book of short fiction all about them. This is the year’s best film.

[vindvin]

օƒ ցօӀժ ąղժ çɾìʍʂօղ.

𝖜𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖓 𝖎𝖓 𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖇𝖔𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖕𝖝𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖋𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖙.

two months worth of writing, this thread encompasses most.

pxssionfruit/thegildedone ; Chailee's hands were bunched into fists of rage at her sides as she refrained herself from lashing out at the commotion that had overtaken the townsquare. A shoe flew past her head, falling miserably when it didn't hit it's supposed target of her father who stood in the midst of it all, his arms raised as he preached on. A snort slipped past her mouth and it only earned her a glare from the man in front of her. And soon enough, the poker face was back, her ears perking up at the mention of the catastrophe that caused the whole town to gather. Oh, how she'd love for it to be for a feast instead of the issue at hand. "It must be done! A virgin girl or the whole town will perish! We have no choice!" her father, Robert exclaimed in an exasperated tone which did nothing to reassure the frenzied town since he only got shouts and yells and another surge of shoe hits. Chailee remembered the story and lore about how a girl would be dolled pompously and be sent off amidst a flutter of flowers and tears to the mansion that sat atop the hill to the monster that lived there, never to be seen again. It was the tale that got children to scamper to bed every evening, the kind to even make grown men shiver in their worn boots and the old women to whisper and add more than necessary spices to the story. The antagonists of the stories differed all the time; some said he was just a cruel man who wanted a harem of young girls, some imagined a fearsome diety who was always famished and liked feasting on the souls of virgins and so on. She'd never believed in any of it... until now, that is. Even then, it was just a speck of doubt that had nestled itself in her mind. "We can't let our daughters be sacrificed to such evil anymore!" a woman screeched, causing Chailee to snap out of her reverie. Dark gaze followed the span of the crowd to land of the stout woman who had called out. From her spot, Chailee could notice the tear streaks that had stained Mrs. Lee's plump and red face, the woman a haphazard mess as she pushed forward so she could stand face to face with Robert. The girl who was no older than 16 summers thought back to the time when the town had such meeting again; it was 10 years ago and she was just a tiny little creature, clinging onto her father's leg in fear as the crowded kept shouting again. Back then, it was Mrs. Lee's daughter who was sacrificed. Bone chilling horror was quick to settle in Chailee's body when she realized that Bethany had been the same age as she was now. She was quick to gauge the situation; there were several other girls of the same age and they were all considered at the ripest time to live their lives, marriage ensuing soon for most. The ongoing argument would soon dwindle down to select the lamb and it was only a matter of time before the girl was gone and life would resume again for everyone else. Sure, the occasional prayer of remembrance would take place but really, no one would care for another ten years or so. It had to stop. For the sake of all of their futures. Chailee's feet moved on their own accord, small yet lithe frame pushing past the people in front to get to the front, her face composed in relaxed resilience. Or maybe, defiance was the more appropriate term. "I volunteer." She spoke, tone loud and calm as if waiting for the impending loom of the storm. The crowd quieted down in shock, her father staring back absolutely flabbergasted. It was strange how she found the way his mouth fell open and closed like a fish as he tried to find the words to take sense into her funny. But there was no talking the girl back. "Do not stop me, father. I should be no different than any other girl here. Please." There was no argument after that. Instead, the crowd dissipated to get the preparations of the farewell done. She knew what would follow; prayers to bid her goodbye and a safe journey (though she didn't know whether it was to the mansion or to the afterlife), feasts to fatten her up, bathes and pampering to make sure she looked the part of a pretty lamb. She had always been sure it was an act and never one for fanfare, she'd made up her mind. In two days, she would be sent off on the lonely path to the haunted mansion but Chailee had other plans. She left that very night, quiet and clad in the simplest of outfit of trousers and a shirt. They were the clothes of a man, much less one of a young woman but she didn't care. She'd filled her burlap bag with her favorite books and armed herself with her father's sickle just in case and off she was, on her way to her doom with the tune of the local lullaby on her lips.

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venitempus/vindvin ;

all good stories begin with ‘once upon a time’ and end with ‘happily ever after’. his once upon a time started in 1401, when a silly little boy decided to play with a witty old hag. still a teenager back then, he believed his charm, his promise of love, and his adoring gaze would be enough to make her bless him forever. he loved living, and wanted to live forever – she loved him, so she granted his wish. but, when she was preparing her potion, she saw – he was holding another. enraged, and betrayed she made sure his ‘forever after’ would be filled with pain, and suffering. so much pain that he would wish he was dead, but he would never be able to die. a bitter heart brings about a bitter life – and with the taste of iron on his lips, he succumbed to his deepest, narcissistic desires. centuries melted in a pot – all that hatred, that rage, that unfathomable hunger. he has lived through it all, over and over again. it was his curse to fall, and rise with the tide, it was his demeanour that made him a monster, that made him impossible to look at. his fangs so sharp, they would tear anything apart – and they did. when he stepped out of the shadows people would quiver, their pale bodies would crumble – in an unexplainable worship, infatuation, admiration. beauty was his curse. and blood was a cure he could not afford – the price of life for his immortality, he paid it even when he did not want to. he tore everyone apart – their hearts meant nothing to him, his own was stone cold. his ‘happily ever after’ ended when the first drip of blood coated his sinful tongue. his handsome features did not wilt over eons of suffering, and his oh-so-sweet smile never perished in front of a challenge – the witch did not take away the one thing she fell for. he must admit, after centuries of fun, being stuck in a castle was quite boring, to the point that he would do anything for a little entertainment. this era was disobedient, they casted him out like a stranger – even though he owned them, he was their rightful ruler. he was forced to inflict pain and fear from afar, he was obliged to hide his face from them – and what a pity it was, for his eyes were truly mesmerising. he could not hide for long, though. so he invented the cursed terms – he wanted his fun, so he asked for a new companion every year. a young girl would be sent off to visit the mysterious dark castle, and she almost always arrived on a stormy night. seeking warmth, quivering in fear – she would step inside never to be seen again. he did create the myth of it all quite well, his servants mingled with the public and spread rumours, rumours turned into a cry for help. but he was not really interested in stripping these maidens, or taking them forcefully. that was rather disgusting to him – although, they always ended up begging to be taken. his purpose was another, he wanted to have someone that could challenge him intellectually, that could put up with his moods, his wit, his temperament – someone he could make his companion for life. he was rather lonely, and as mentioned, very bored. but all girls who ended up in his company were either too scared, or too promiscuous. so what can a poor vampire do when his prey does not behave? of course he had to kill them, one by one. *** “sire,” a man entered, quivering from head to foot, covered in water. it was a stormy night, and aloysius was stuck inside yet again, obliged to watch the drops of water wash his immense windows, draping his legs over his throne’s armrests. with a bored expression, and a frown that would tell anyone to ‘cut their story short’, aloysius addresses his subject. “what is the matter now, latrell?” his gaze drifted, as a small object caught his interest. it was shining in the old man’s hands, and he put an effort into hiding it. aloysius’ smirk grew, and in a swift movement, he was in front of the old man, startling him with his speed. “s-sire, I-“ aloysius pressed a finger over his lips to keep him quiet. the man’s face turned red, and he wanted to scurry away quickly. he grabbed the silver dagger from the man’s hands with a twisted smile, playing with it like it was a toy. “are you trying to kill me? how exciting, latrell! but you have to do better than this, really,” his smirk grew wider, he leaned in to whisper in his ear. his voice deeper, and emotionless. “silver does not kill me, but it sure kills a silly human,” aloysius pressed the dagger against the man’s chest, watching him gasp for air with a smile. he pushed the dagger in, the man stopped breathing. after he dropped dead, aloysius stepped over his body and walked away, still bored out of his mind. “thank you for trying, marley. but that was rather anticlimactic. make sure his blood is collected, just in case,” he glanced at is humble servant, a young boy with mousy features. he was head over heels in love with aloysius, and obeyed his every wish. nobody inside the castle liked it when their master was bored, he tended to lash out. so sending ‘hunters’ in was one way to entertain him – and usually they would send more experienced hunters, some that put up a fight. now, those were exciting to kill. *** the big day has arrived, and aloyisus was up early. he hated the sun, and because of his curse, he could not really touch it – it would burn him, but not kill him, so what was the point? he dressed up elegantly, and debated whether he should wear the golden mask, or the black one – he decided gold. he enjoyed hiding his face at the first encounter, he was well-aware that his good looks could charm anyone into submission – and he liked a challenge, he enjoyed it when they squirmed and screamed. when the night fell, he was ready to welcome his new victim. he waited, his servants were around him looking elegant, and put together. aloyisus was towering over all of them, he was rather tall – it made him look more intimidating. when the knock on the door came, aloyisus smirked. he let his servants answer, waiting at the top of the stairs, like a lion awaits its doe. he looked like a masterpiece – the inside of the castle embracing his flawless appearance. it was paradise – and it was hell. the perfect in-between, the home of lost innocence.

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pxssionfruit/thegildedone ;

Chailee had no idea how long she was walking for; all she knew was that the biting cold of the night had started settling over her bones, causing her to shiver despite the line of sweat that had started to appear over her flesh. Goosebumps rose on her skin, her breath slipping out of her mouth in a mist that just melted and disappeared into the fog. The moon had rose into the sky, the wide silver saucer illuminating her path to the haunted castle. There was no speck of stars, nor was there a trace of cloud. It felt ominous, as if the impending loom was not enough to scare her wits off. No, she wouldn't be scared. She snorted another burst of warm cloud and paused her steps, head tilted back to watch the moon for a moment. It was an ugly thing, scarred and imperfect yet it always looked down on the world in what she thought was a dauntingly mocking smile. Her eyes narrowed into little slits as she gazed at it; there were thousands of folklore that surrounded the moon just like how the monster who lived atop the hill was in the middle of others and she had never been one to believe in them. To Chailee, it was always just one moon. That familiar, yellow, solitary moon. The same moon that silently floated over fields of pampas grass, the moon that rose -a gleaming, round saucer- over the calm surface of lakes, that tranquilly beamed down on the rooftops of fast-asleep houses. The same moon that brought the high tide to shore, that softly shone on the fur of animals and enveloped and protected travelers at night. The moon that, as a crescent, shaved slivers from the soul- or, as a new moon, silently bathed the earth in its own loneliness. And she wondered if just like the moon, the monster was lonely. Just as hideous, sinister and mischief filled yet so protective. Sucking on her inner cheek, she resumed her journey, fingers finding the strap of her burlap bag to keep close.The trek to the foot of the hill was a short one, given how the village was small but the moment she'd reached, she was intimidated by how it towered over her, feeling as small as ever. Swallowing her fear, she went on. And as the time passed, the fog grew thicker. So did the stench that rose from the ground. It was mostly the fecal remains of the stray animals, trash that had been disposed carelessly into piles but underlining everything else was something more potent and the cold only made the stench stronger. Chailee could taste it on her tongue and she forced herself to bite back the bile that rose in her throat, eyebrows furrowed with focus. It was a perilous walk, her breath labored as she stumbled on rocky ground that had been littered with several things she had no heart or mind to find out about. She'd fallen to her knees several times, dirt among other things crusting her boots and trousers and when she raised her hand to wipe the sweat off her face, she smeared murky liquid on her caramel skin. At that point, she was sure she was stinking as bad as the hill itself, knowing she looked like a mess. She was regretting not waiting further so that the rest of the villagers would help her up but it was too late; she was on her own. She didn't know what time it was, nor did she have an inclination of how long it took her to reach the top, her destination barely a couple of feet away. From up close, it looked like a castle instead of a manor or a house so many people had called it. It felt like a fortress too, with arcs that disappeared way over her head and poles that seemed to disappear into the sky. Chailee felt insignificant standing at the foot of the steps that led to the porch and discarding the stick she'd picked up earlier to help herself, she climbed up, almost flinching at the way the wood groaned under her weight. She couldn't flee now, nor was she going to allow herself to be scared. Swallowing thickly, she raised her fist to rap thrice on the wooden door which caused it to creak open under one particular knock. As it heavily swung open, her steps slowed down as she took her first step in. "H-hello?" she hadn't expected her tone to come out in such a mousy squeak so squaring her shoulders and stepping further into the foyer. "Hello? Anybody home?" This time her voice echoed off the walls of the castle, bouncing off the corners and into the dark hallways. It was fascinating to say the least, how her normally huskier tone could sound so hollow and as the echo increased, it got deeper as if it were a monstrous groan who gave her a reply. They came in like some sort of pageantry formation, aligned and barely making a noise. Her breath hitched in her throat and she involuntarily took a step back but halted, figuring from their decent clothes, they were simply servants. They couldn't hurt her, right? The brief thought of taking out the sickle in her bag passed through her mind until one of them spoke, the man in the middle who bowed his head to her as if she was some sort of reality. "Welcome, Miss. My name is Marley and please, you have no reason to fear being here." Chailee wasn't sure if she heard him correctly, his words earning an arched brow. Sure, she had no fear. But figuring that a snarky quip would do her more harm than good, she nodded and composed her face into what she hoped to be a serene smile. It just came off as awkward and toothy. Marley nodded, gesturing the other servants to make way before he motioned for her to follow him. And she did, eyes wide as she took in the sight of the somewhat grandiose castle. Despite it's dark and morose decor, it was calming and aloof. Definitely a juxtaposition from the colorful ways of the village she was from. Her visage had contorted into one of awe as she took everything in, not having realized that they had stopped only coming to a standstill the moment dark gaze fell onto the man who stood at the top of the grande staircase. He exuded power, even from where she stood. The kind who preyed on the weaker ones. Yet somehow, the light of the moon that burst through the windows behind him enveloped the man in some sort of ethereal glow. She remembered a phrase from that one particular book of preaches her father read about one particular being so beautiful that he was cast from the skies. Or something along the lines. She hadn't been keen on reading that one honestly. But supposedly if this man was what she had read about in her father's book, why was he wearing such a grotesque thing over his face? Couldn't be. Her breath came out in a mild scoff as she took a step forward, shoulder brushing against Marley's who just cowered in fear in front of the man. Chailee's face was serene even if her eyes were hard, the tilt of her jaw defiant and stubborn. "Hello. My name is Chai," she spoke, tone loud and clear as she came to a stand at the foot of the stairs he stood on. Her tongue snuck out to swipe across her bottom tier, realising she was parched but went on whatsoever. "Would you mind if you took your mask off? I might as well see the face of the one who is going to eat me, right?"

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venitempus/vindvin ;

❝ And all with pearl and ruby glowing Was the fair palace door, Through which came flowing, flowing, flowing And sparkling evermore, A troop of Echoes, whose sweet duty Was but to sing, In voices of surpassing beauty, The wit and wisdom of their king.* it was once a castle filled with laughter, and bright light – the rooms would embraced splendour, they would bathe all eyes in crystals, and gold. and with every step, every spin, one could get drunk in its glory – people praised it for days to no end. it was once lively, it was once paradise. it still was incredibly charming --- within the massive walls of the gothic castle, there was beauty contained only but in its colour – richly decorated, a masterpiece for everyone who was lucky enough to see it. the interior was vast, and tall – it almost got lost in the moonlight, the eye could not grasp just how much it entailed. the drapes were scarlet, made of velvet – they did not cover the intriguing windows, lavishly ornamented with delicate orchids. the rose wood was a staple piece in the hallway – the stairs, the balustrade, the occasional wood figurines. the floor squeaked – it was old, history ate at it, the scent of old wood was wrapping the entire room. pillars carved with love, uniquely disproportioned – all gothic art found its beauty in inaccuracy, in immense and pompous decorations. there were renaissance-style paintings framed in gold hanging, of men and women who looked like they have been around for a while. the brush strokes mimicked those of masterful artists like michaelangelo. they were forced to stare at the doorway – and from the ceiling hung a marvellous golden chandelier. the consistent orchid-pattern held in the golden swirls, the light was dim and pleasant, enough to support the room’s glory. old books were arranged on small shelves – their spines colour-coded, fading from a pale red, to a deep red. ❝ But evil things, in robes of sorrow, Assailed the monarch’s high estate; (Ah, let us mourn!—for never morrow Shall dawn upon him, desolate!) And round about his home the glory That blushed and bloomed Is but a dim-remembered story Of the old time entombed.* --- but death clung on its drapes, death crept in, death reached its claws, death was craved in its wood. they stopped coming – guests hated death’s breath. and the once glorious castle stood solitary on a hill, it told the story of the rise and fall, the tide of life – and its towers reached the sky, its inside was hollow. it collapse in its breath-taking excellence, embraced the shadows of evil, absorbed the blood, filled the void with nothingness. it was empty, and broken. just like his heart. ⚜⚜⚜ when he stepped down the stairs, he looked as though he was floating – so flawlessly did his steps embrace the crimson carpet, and the wooden floor. his hands were behind his back, the golden mask obscured his smirk – it was creepily staring at everything around. he was elegant – perhaps not the first thing one expects from a supposed ‘monster’. he looked more like a prince than an evil beast, his white shirt and dark pants made him stand out in the sea of burgundy. his clothes were perfectly fitted for him – no doubt a personal tailor fashioned them for him, and only for him. his servants bowed in obedience, they did not like to keep their heads up when he passed by – his musky scent made them painfully loyal, and terribly scared. there was something off about the way he moved his hands, his pale fingers extending to fold gracefully, falling on his chest as he bowed to welcome his guest. aloysius took his time observing the girl, he did not move from his spot – he was closer now, yet not close enough. there was distance between them, his cold eyes analysed every single muscle in her body. it was impossible for any detail to escape his keen eye – the way she clenched her hands, her neck, her attire, her young face, her neck. yes, she did have a pretty neck – young, firm, pale. he resisted his beastly thirst, and thankfully she could not see his fangs peeking through. other than that, she looked awfully normal, almost boringly so. aloysius struggled to keep his attention on her, she did not promise anything different – it took him a moment to spot the object peeking out of her bag. now, that was interesting. girls hated weapons – he knew that much, especially young ones like her. they adored the ornate dresses, the beautiful stockings their parents forced them to wear. but she had none of the astonishing decorations victorians praised themselves for – she almost looked like a man. he wanted to dissect her, dig deep into her mind and find out just why she choose to look like this on her funeral. it was bugging him, so much so that he decided he shall let her live for now. even if she was carrying a weapon. “sire, I’m sorry, w-we didn’t-“ a servant, who just noticed the weapon, stuttered and tried to approach aloysius. his master cut him off, raising a hand to stop him from walking. it was a sudden movement, and it made the servant step back, almost stumbling over his own feet. two female servants came to his aid. the movement behind did not bother aloysius, as if he could see everything despite not looking. “that would be enough,” he said, his voice pleasantly melodious. there was an undistinguishable accent coating every word, and it did made the servant gulp. aloysius did not tolerate mistakes, his generosity made marley look at the girl in a last dying hope. but he looked away quickly, not wanting to be discovered. aloysius stepped closer, allowing his presence to crash into her like a wave – he got close enough to be indecent. he looked at her for a while, before speaking. “I do not think chai wishes to be hostile,” his voice almost sounded commanding. he did not care for her wishes, it was his will she shall obey. he made it seem lighter by taking a step back, and by letting out a short chuckle. “silly of me, I should have known you are not an admirer of art,” he did not mean to sound superior – well, perhaps he did. his ego was as big as his --- personality. and he felt at an advantage as a species. he slowly removed the mask, revealing his handsome features. his face was immediately caressed by the soft light, and his lips curled into a sweet smile, almost too blissful and alluring. “I have no clue what stories you heard in the village, but I surely do not eat my guests. my name is aloysius, and whilst you are here, you may make yourself at home. of course, there will be rules. I am sure I can count on you to be as pleasant a guest as I will be a host,” and with that he stepped away, walking towards the living room. he uttered a last command before disappearing from view. “give her some decent clothes, will you?” it was a signal for his servants to approach the girl. an older lady bowed respectfully, and offered to carry her bag. marley seemed quite excited. “madame, I think our lord likes you. he is not usually like this,” he said hopefully, as if he was not quite sure about what he was saying. he knew aloysius’ hearing was sharper than any human’s, so he tried not to insult, or give away too much. the servants followed his steps, and marley made sure to stick as close as possible. they led her upstairs – supposedly her room was there. -- *notes // fragments from e. a. poe’s poem the haunted palace: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/52370/the-haunted-palace mask inspiration: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/43/38/e7/4338e77728edfae8350869d39a8ab6c6.jpg aloysius’ outfit inspiration: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EWYRy1tU8AwjaRq?format=jpg&;name=large interior inspiration: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/1b/9f/93/1b9f9355cdd17cacb85d0e1080663ed1.jpg

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pxssionfruit/thegildedone ;

The castle was a morose place in it’s beauty- grim and underlying of darkness in the way the shadows seemed to be dancing in a whimsical rhythm in the moonlight and how every corner seemed to be hide beasts that willed their preys into their arms. Chai was quick to take everything in; how the servants easily fell to his will and command and how their eyes had a glazed look in them, unfocused yet still at their own will. It was fascinating but she was more intrigued by the man. He moved with stealthy grace. It looked like he was floating above the ground, his body barely contorting in the way a human would move as if a single motion would disrupt the perfection and elegance he carried himself with. She didn’t realize she’d kept a breathe pent in her throat until he spoke and she released it in a huff of warm air, gaze flitting to the servant who cowered in fear. It was funny how the mundane stumbled over his own feet, such a stark contrast to the man who stood atop the staircase. A chuckle slipped past Chai before she even realized it and she would have laughed at the sight had it not been for the mocking tone that resounded next. Thick eyebrows furrowed together trying to decipher whether the man was serious, the mocking tone that underlaid the otherwise generous words that spilled out of him taking her aback. He spoke with charm and grace but there was a hint of taunt in there, as if he was superior than the rest of them. Then again, he probably was, given how his monstrous beauty wasn't mundane in the least bit. She'd never taken commands well, even back in the village but realizing that a quip dripping with snark here and there wouldn't fair her well at all, she pressed her lips together, gaze falling to her dirty boots in an attempt to hold herself back but when another pair of shoes, one that seemed like a mirror with how polished it was stepped into her line of vision, her head lifted, raking the length of the man who stood in front of her with a condescending smile on what was rather a handsome face. Doe eyes that was as dark as pools of obsidian stared back at her, authority etched onto the proud nose and the high plains of his face even if his mouth curved into the sweetest of smiles ever, meant to disarm her. It was alluring and captivating, a haze of wonder and awe engulfing her entire being. How could a person be this beautiful? He couldn't be real, he was a monster. The haze was gone as soon as it came, her own stare sharp and focused despite the politeness she spoke with. Thank you, Mrs. Ruth for the little lady lessons. "Thank you for opening your home for me, Aloysius." Chai murmured, nodding once in a bow. She wanted to continue, prying further into the stories she'd heard out of sheer curiosity but he moved before she could carry on, the command he'd uttered the last of what she heard and saw of him before he disappeared into the shadows. The grip on her arms wrenched her out of her thoughts, the weight of her burlap sack taken off her shoulders and it's comfort was gone as was the man of the house. Casting a look of dismay towards the direction he'd taken off to, Chailee allowed the servants to lead her further into the castle, past dim hallways and corridors that were lit with oil lamps and onto a brighter lit extension of the castle after countless of twists and turns of paths. "M'lady, this is your suite. Master had it arranged to what a lady would like,"Marley spoke, pushing open a set of doors so she could walk in. "Should you require or like it to be changed, please let me know." Whatever he said did not register in her brain, the beauty of the room inside leaving her speechless. The first thing she noticed was that even in the moonlight that shone from the wide windows and the several candles someone had painstakingly lit to brighten the room, it was fit for a lady. Marley had been right in that sense but it was not gaudy, so unlike the frilly and girlish decor she knew girls her age were fond of. It was elegant and discreet enough for her to call it home for once. Her eyes trailed over the enormous room, from the carpeted floor to the massive bed that could probably fit her family of five comfortably and to the three women who stood in the middle of the room, their heads bowed as they approached. "These are your ladies in waiting, m'lady. Mariah, Jeannette and Agnes will always be by your side, should you need anything."Marley spoke again, his hand resting on his chest as he bowed again. The ladies followed suit, dipping their bodies close to the ground in a curtsy and Chailee only took a step back, unsure how to process the courtesy they treated her with. Such pleasantries were uncommon where she was from. Clearing her throat so she was loud enough, she carefully arranged her visage into a cordial beam. "Please, you can call me Chai. And I don't need anything, thank you very much. No bowing too please." The woman in the middle approached, her elderly face composed into one of utter obedience as she bowed again. Protests bubbled in the young girl's throat, close to spilling when the woman spoke. "My name is Mariah, miss. We are at your service, per the Master's orders. Now if you will, your bath awaits." It didn't go unnoticed that they refused to call her by her name and her request of no bowing met deaf ears; this needed to change. But she would leave it for now, making mental note of it being one of the issues she needed to take with Aloysius later. For now, a bath sounded and seemed like a very good idea. She smelled of dirt and other unpleasant odors and if she dared to sniff herself, the stench would cause her to faint. Nodding, she let Mariah lead her to the little door that opened to reveal a marble-carved bathroom, the tub that sat in the middle steaming with warm water and scented with something rather mouthwatering and reminiscent of lemon and flowers. Her jaw dropped at it all, unable to believe the rather generous and subdued fanfare they'd welcome her with; Aloysius didn't have the air to be kind or welcoming from what she had felt earlier, but surely he wasn't too bad. The bath did her immense good, the tight muscles that formed everywhere on her body loosening under the heat of the water and steam. She was prodded, scrubbed, brushed and washed, her handmaidens refusing to let her to anything by herself, even when she was getting dressed. Chai had started making a point to fend them off anyhow she could but to no avail, their hands and fingers were always on her, preparing her for what Mariah had said dinner. The thought of food caused a rumble of hunger to erupt from her belly and she thanked Heavens that no one was around to hear such embarrassing sound. The women in waiting had left to clean the bathroom, leaving Chai alone in front of her vanity desk to scrutinize what was there. She was decent-looking now that she was clean and rid of dirt, clad in a proper outfit for a young girl instead of her brother's and father's old clothes. It was a suffocating dress, the corset tight around her torso and she wiggled, trying to loosen it a tad until she was satisfied. Exhaling, she then reached to her hair which they'd tied into a neat updo of braids and fiddled around, pulling out the pins her locks were held with, dark waves tumbling free over her shoulder and down her back. There, much better. She grinned a self-satisfied smirk at her reflection, the image of the village girl back only for it to fade when Marley walked back in. "If it pleases you, my lady, the Master awaits you in the dining area." Chailee nodded, lifting herself from the little cushioned chaise and sauntered to Marley, fingers bunched in her skirt to keep her from falling. She was led the way she had come, the way already ingrained in her brain for future use. The dining area was another grandiose part of the castle, as morose and grim as the hall she'd first met him in. Yet unlike then, there was no man in sight nor any sign of another being, whether it be a monster or human. Marley was long gone, leaving her alone in the midst of the room. "Aloysius?"she called out, taking a few steps further into the room so she could stand in the middle of it, head turning left and right in search for him. ----- her bedroom: https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e4/6d/e7/e46de721864fdbf9705dcecddce3b903.jpg the bathroom/hammam: https://pin.it/1yENyPG chai's outfit inspiration: https://pin.it/7l2unhV

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venitempus/vindvin ; 

the beauty of the castle was transported in the dining area, the large room was richly decorated, but hollow – his steps were loud, and the floor squeaked occasionally. he paced in an unusual manner, other servants were waiting for his orders, looking quite terrified at their master’s change of temperament. they did not know if they should expect a feast or a bloodbath, it was never certain with aloysius. he finally sat down, two of the women approached and bowed down respectfully, waiting for their orders. aloysius ignored them, he was lost in thought. “what makes you so morose, sire?” a soft voice spoke from one of the portraits hanging on the wall. it was the image of a beautiful boy immortalised to look young forever – a dorian gray, if you will. aloysius eyes fell on the image unimpressed, two of his servants stepped back shocked by the painting’s ability to speak. but they have learnt nothing in the castle was normal, and aloysius’ magic was certainly not only contained in his sharp fangs, and unusual taste for blood. “mind your own business, will you?” aloysius dismissed the portrait and got up, making his servants get up as well. he finally noticed the synchronised movements, and the doe eyes – he gave them a glare. “you too, partir,” the way he moved told them enough, they left as quickly as they could. aloysius approached the portrait, who looked down at him with a satisfied grin. “any reason you choose to torment me today, roderick?” he locked eyes with the painted ones – and he could tell pink paint bloomed on the boy’s cheeks. “uhm, well – I thought she reminded you of someone,” the portrait said boldly, and aloysius’ eyes darkened, they were dangerous. if he could slash the canvas open – he would. if he could drain the portrait of blood – he would. the words affected him – and he knew exactly why. he will not be able to kill this one, and it was not because her brave nature amused him, no. it was because she looked like her – the witch who cursed him, who made him live forever, miserable and thirsty. part of him would have killed her on the spot – but that face still held power over him. it could be that the girl was her descendant, it would not be unheard of. if there was even the slightest chance they were related, killing her would only make his fate worse – the witch will certainly not like having her daughter, or whatever she was, killed. he did not know how the portrait knew of his thoughts, it seemed to know a lot – and he had no doubt his ‘knowledge’ was a gift from his old enemy. “what do you know, roderick? you are just an old, painted buffoon,” aloysius turned away, and just as he did, he heard a sharp laughter, and a screech that almost made him go deaf. his heightened senses were a curse – especially when a mental portrait starts screaming for no reason. he turned around and saw the image melting – aloysius’ face was impossible to be read. his feelings were also difficult to decipher – he thought he has been poisoned for a moment, the sudden reaction took him slightly off guard, for about a second. roderick’s skin melted off, revealing his skeleton, jaw clattering in a continuous laughter. aloysius rolled his eyes, and sighed. “boring. now stop the theatrics, we have guests,” roderick almost pouted at him – yes, with skeleton face and all. aloysius watched the paint get absorbed back in the painting, roderick’s face appearing again. “do that again, and I will sell you at an auction,” aloyisus said as serious as ever – he was not amused by the portrait’s intrusion and game. “listen, listen, listen, sire,” he started calling when he saw aloysius walk away again. “what I meant is that she looks like a man,” he continued, more desperate now, trying to get aloysius’ attention. “you have fun with men, right?” but aloysius was already gone. “insolent fool,” a portrait of a woman whispered, rolling her eyes, before scoffing. roderick pouted again, then stopped moving. aloysius felt the need to get away from people – from servants and annoying portraits. the living room at the end of the hall was empty now, and the portraits there never bothered him. there was a big piano in the room, and if aloysius ever looked peaceful it was when he was playing it. the portraits there loved his presence – especially if he played something for them. the moonlight was shining on the keys, and aloysius was compelled to approach. he touched the delicate surface, and sat down. he did not need any music sheet – he knew the notes by heart, he has played this composition many times. and light as a feather were his fingers on the keys, they spun and twirled and created the sweet sound of beethoven’s moonlight sonata. and the portraits closed their eyes, and listened mesmerised, the sound was loud in the sullen castle – adagio sostenuto. it almost sounded like hope, like an entrance to heaven – and aloysius looked so peaceful and beautiful. such man could not be a blood-thirsty killer, could he? – the girls who watched him play always asked that, until he managed to prove them wrong. the notes start to weigh on him, lower, and lower. the entire room vibrated with his music, and the moon was splendid – his body swayed slightly as his fingers skilfully embraced the light notes, almost dancing on the keys – allegretto. the lights were switched on, and the entire atmosphere was jolly, matching the sudden turn in his concert. some maids caught themselves dancing around, swirling to the music – and some servants joined them. it was as if the entire castle transformed into a ball, and everyone was happy. the speedy notes made them all spin around, aloysius’ fingers moving faster, his face in a serene concentration – presto agitato. the small crowd started to cheer in their dance, and even the portraits joined in – one of them mimicking a conductor. meanwhile, the music reached the dining area and roderick smirked. “you should join, missy,” roderick spoke to chai out of a sudden, looking at her with his painted eyes – his youthful, yet malicious face, he would have told her more, but he thought convincing her to go away for now would benefit him somehow. “you certainly do not want to miss such a spectacle.” the party only got louder, and more enjoyable with every new section, it even felt as though the entire castle was moving along to the music – the curtains dropping, unfolding and folding. some feathers floating, writing words in the air – and the fireplace was roaring furiously, flames moving to the beat. marley was the only one who looked distressed, he did not like how everyone chimed in – if their master sees them like that, it will not be good. he tried to stop them – but even he was captured by the music. it was as if the piano was enchanted – and perhaps it was. their hearts almost burst with every note, fascinated, excited, and absolutely in love with their little show. they did not stop dancing until the last notes hit the piano, in a graceful ending. aloysius stood up, and they all cheered so loudly the entire town might have heard them. to marley’s surprise, aloysius’ good mood was still present, so he bowed to accept the cheers with the grace of a prince. “marvellous” “breath-taking” “it was beautiful, sire” – the praise never ended. and aloysius stepped in the middle of the room, and the entire castle was once again silent. -- living room inspiration: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/76/1a/8c/761a8c08193f27732185766dc52bddef--piano-living-rooms-piano-room.jpg the song (it has the sections in the description, that should help along!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Tr0otuiQuU

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pxssionfruit/thegildedone ;

No matter how hard she looked, he was no where to be found. Chai stood in the middle of the dining room long enough for her eyes to get adjusted to the darkness, somewhat finding it welcoming in it's eeriness and gloom. The palace and the glory of the hall she'd met Aloysius in was the exact opposite of the colorful town she hailed from and she found it a breath of fresh air, even through the earthy stench of the palace. She sucked in a breath, gnawing on the inner flesh of her cheek as her fingers wrung each other in nervousness. Was this the moment she would die at his hands? Her heart skipped a beat before picking up in her chest, deafening in the middle of the room. Maybe he was just late, the little mousy voice tried speaking bravely but to no avail, the million and one thoughts all had bloody and gory endings. "Stop stressing that pretty head of yours, will you?"a voice spoke, wrenching Chai out of her miserable reverie. Her head whipped around to find the voice who spoke yet stared at the empty room once again. Had she imagined the voice? "Non, non! You are not imagining things, I assure you! Here! On your right! Psst, look here!" With baited breath, she slowly turned the direction of the voice, gaze widening in surprise (maybe fear?) and hands flying to her mouth to hold back the little shriek that threatened to bubble out of her throat. A boy, surely no older than her, stared back at her with a grin so toothy, she could see the mischief on his visage. He wore his hair in an unruly fashion, the mop of ginger locks a stark contrast against the dark background he stood against. He looked like one of the boys who would be caught stealing cookies from the patisserie back in the village, deserving a smack on the bum from Mr. Grosventre. But despite his face, his clothes told another story, in the way the fine fabric of his shirt even shone from the painting- wait, what? Painting? Her steps were cautious but the glint in her eyes were curious as she approached the portrait on the wall, unable to hold her hand back from reaching out in the want to touch the canvas. "Tch, do not touch me, young miss! Should you want to come in too." The boy cackled as he watched her hand drop back to her side as fast as it had reached up. "Y-you speak,"she murmured, breath coming out in a shaky huff. It wasn't a question nor was it a statement; she just needed to wrap her head around this fascinating magic. The boy in the portrait watched her with impatience, mouth down-turned in pout of distaste. "You know, I did want you to be different from the other ladies who'd walked in before you. Alas, you seem to be as a floundering goat as all of them!" He exclaimed, sarcasm dripping off his tongue as he rolled his eyes before feigning a bore glance as he inspected his fingernails. Chai's eyes narrowed just a fraction, grin as toothy as his initially was, blinking once in innocence. It was a look that had come in handy often back home to get herself out of trouble and there was no doubt she would use it around here to get her way. "Do you often speak to your guests like this? Well, I would be an old grumpy cat too if I were stuck in a portrait. Pray tell, what happens when the canvas is torn or ripped? I remember seeing a knife somewhere around here..." She trailed off as if deep in thought, making sure he caught the way her eyes roamed the little space from her left to right in search of said knife. She wouldn't hurt him, not at all. But she would find entertainment in bothering him all the time. "Gah! Such a brat! You remind me awfully of someone!"he scoffed at her, in turn only him just a coquettish shrug and a bat of her eyelashes. "But you're funny. You may call me Roderick and I hope you stick around here for long, Miss Brat. It's been a long time since we've had entertainment in this ramshackle of a decaying pla-" His words were cut short by the melodious note of a piano ringing from somewhere, Chai's head turning to the side to find the source of the noise. It was euphony, the gracious and elegant kind that began sad but quickly morphed into a joyous one. Roderick and her stood in silence, appreciating the piece of music that played, transcending the space of the castle and engulfing the two in what was jolly ecstasy. Her lips curved slightly at the corners at the way the notes picked up, the sounds of cheerful laughter and shouts adding to the solo orchestra. Roderick took one glance at her face and snickered at the way her eyes had glazed over with awe, expression one of pure intrigue. “You should join, missy. You certainly do not want to miss such a spectacle." His tone and words were tempting, her feet moving on their own accord as she trudged the way the voices and music came from. There had been a little corridor right beside the grande hall that she had missed earlier on her inspection, the path lit with little oil lamps. For once, even the shadows seemed like they were cheery instead of their grim selves. Perhaps they were truly enjoying themselves, who knew? Chai stood by the door, hand resting on the wooden panel to push it wide enough so she could peek in. And the sight inside was enough to have her breath hitch in her throat. It was a ruckus but she felt the happiness that the room burst with, enticing the small frame of the girl who peeped in. Everything moved, from the tapestries and the curtains to the candle holders and feather dusters; they were all fluid in their dance, gone into the euphoria of such a masterpiece. But her gaze flitted to the man who had started such fete. Aloysius sat in the middle of the room, on the bench in front of the grande piano and had lost himself into the music, oblivious to the celebration around him until the very last notes. His fingers were lithe and expert as they came to a dwindling stop from the furious tapping on top of the ivory keys and Chai did not miss the satisfied smile he smiled as he lifted himself from the cushioned bench, graceful and royal as ever as he bowed. At that moment, she thought of it impossible that he was such a monster, especially when all of his servants and friends(?) cheered on him so loudly for. She envied him -them- for it; she'd never had a chance at experiencing such joy back in her village. Once the applause died down, she pushed the door open and walked in, hands placed politely in front of her as she cleared her throat, trying to get his attention. It was not only his that she got, but the whole palace's. It was dead again, every single sight of life gone and it broke her heart to see it. The once warm atmosphere was cold once again despite the fire that burned brighter than ever in the fireplace. But she knew she couldn't take it too heart- she was not mistress of the house after all for them to welcome her with such fuss. "You play wonderfully,"she began, voice coming out timid which was so unlike her. Chai cleared her throat again, taking a few steps closer so she stood in front of him. Her foot were awfully loud even if muffled by the carpet and she held herself from grimacing. "As if for your own celebration. Why didn't you join them in dancing? Do you dance? Would you like to?" The questions erupted past her mouth before she even knew it, her hand held out in an invite. It sure was a feeble attempt at decent cordiality and even friendship; he said he wouldn't eat her if she misbehaved after all. A if on cue, a note from the piano resonated against the castle walls, once again bringing life to the place. Her head tilted slightly so she could look over his shoulder to the massive instrument that stood majestically behind him and grinned, noticing how the keys moving on their own. Of course, it was enchanted too. With her grin still in place, she beamed up at Aloysius, barely a foot away from where he stood towering over her. "I think even it wants you to dance." She chuckled, nodding towards the direction of the piano. [ living room inspiration (as I had it in my head): https://i.pinimg.com/564x/cd/0c/df/cd0cdf34c8d3731c54260b9fd0f2948a.jpg roderick: https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e5/61/c4/e561c419b7e7cfa2db3c4d71d00a602c.jpg piano piece: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdduPpnqre4 ]

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venitempus/vindvin ;

in the fit of laughter and joy, aloysius has forgotten about his guest – kind of. he did not show any surprise to see her walking inside the beautifully decorated room, and the room’s noise died with her arrival. he regarded her – she looked more presentable. he could get used to the emerald flow she was wearing, it suited her. however, it looked old-fashioned. perhaps it was a practical joke at his expense, something along the lines of ‘aha, you are old, so let us entice you with something close to home’. surely, it was not her fault. and he wanted to glance at the maidens who were already giggling behind their palms. such childish behaviour should be punished, he would have punished it. but his mind was at peace, he was satisfied with the theatrics – he did not want to lose his peace. it will not last long anyways – and the hunger, the thirst, the murderous fever will return, and capture his entire being. it was his curse, and he accepted it. her praised made him smirk, he enjoyed hearing about himself – his arrogance trapped him in this convoluted story to begin with. her bluntness did not seem to move him, but he was impressed. she was truly different – which girl would invite a grown man to dance? it was not a custom, of course, he did not mind tradition much. it was most unlikely, and peculiar. he knew victorian girls were straightforward when showing their undergarments, but none would have dared to step forward and ask for something as innocent as a dance. they lived in a fairy tale with a prince they expected to do everything for them – lay with them, invite them to a dance, shower them with riches. and they liked it – the entire scenario has gotten too predictable for someone like him. for centuries he has met the same shy girls with a different accent, a different colour, a different smile. suddenly, the pages were blank. and chai was writing her own story – with him, without him. the piano married his heart – he gave it away. and so it tuned whatever fitted, old and new. it was a piece aloysius was only partly familiar with, it still did not make its way to england, not yet. but it was exceptional, he had a lot of praise for the russian composer. it was not the first thought in mind when selecting a tune for a traditional dance – the piano read her as accurately as it read him. the servants were holding their breaths, and for fair reason. for a brief moment he looked like a predator – his expression hardened, and his off-putting darkness was surrounding him with every movement. two girls covered their eyes – they were sure chai’s life was about to come to an end. nobody defeated him, spoke to him like that, not without consequences. she approached him in spite of it – her bravery knew no limits. it would be easy to rip her apart, to drain her pretty neck, to do anything to keep her away. he did not do any of it, he let her come close. he allowed her to disturb his personal space, to be at arm’s length. when he reached his hand out, a servant squeaked – imaging how easily aloysius could strangle her. he grabbed her hand instead, his lips curling in a dangerously charming smile – or was it charmingly dangerous? the piano taunted. aloysius pulled her closer – the song was not made for a duet, but he had to make it work. he started with steps that mimicked the pace of the piece, his arm around her waist, his hand holding hers in a waltz-like pose. but it was a quick waltz, one that made them pace all over the room frantically – the fire flickered, the servants watched bewildered. the entire piece was like a chase, it made the furniture quiver. the piano mocked them – aloysius knew. he looked at it with a smirk, it was almost as if he was scolding an old friend. when the last notes flew like a river he spun her, once, twice, and let her be taken by the rhythm. their bodies were far away, he spun her again and left her under the chandelier’s light as the last note hit. the servants were not sure if they should clap or not, so they stood in silence. “very well, friend. now if you have finished your taunt, why do you not simply play something that would allow a proper dance?” he looked at the piano, it played some notes in contemplation. “chopin should do,” aloysius helped, and the entire room changed. it was not only the light that dimmed, or the flame that flickered slower – but the curtains darkened, there was rain pouring over the windows. and white petals started to fall seemingly out of nowhere, filling the entire room with the scent of spring. aloysius approached her again, this time in a proper waltz – pulling her closer at his chest. his body was cold, and his heart was barely beating – he moved so gently, so lost. they covered the entire room – the atmosphere was enchanting. the servants watched in awe, the portraits closed their eyes in contemplation. aloysius closed his eyes too, he felt the music under his feet – he was fluid, and he pulled her along, like a gentle breeze. the petals turned burgundy as the music reached its darker notes, and the shower of little flowers covered them like the rain did the windows. he spun her, and let her go. all lights were on her, all the flowers surrounded her, moved with her, spun with her – she looked like a gracious swan on a lake of waterlilies. aloysius was at the bottom of the lake, his face was covered by the depth’s darkness, and the reflection of the rain, the moon was only gently brushing his lips. the piece ended, and the room brightened again. the cold blue lights faded to yellow, the room felt warmer. servants clapped, and filled it again with joy. aloysius walked towards the door in their applause. “dinner shall be served shortly,” he announced, and left peacefully. he did not wait for chai, he gave her the chance to refuse to follow – he thought choice suited her best. “sire,” a servant ran towards him, soaking wet. he just entered the castle, and he was panting like a wild dog. aloysius gave him a displeased look, and he fell at his feet. “I tried sire, I did. but they didn’t want to listen,” he heaved. aloysius frowned, and gestured him to get up. “that is quite alright, francis,” he said kindly? it was rather hard to tell where his tone was at right now. “they will not dare disturb me. now if you will, I should have my dinner,” and he walked away. francis was confused, and he got up, running to one of the maids to ask what happened. “she happened, dearie,” the maid said with a chuckle, pointing at chai subtly. “I haven’t seen our lord dance in a long time.” aloysius was in the dining room, roderick gave him a weird look. he choose to ignore the portrait, and it knew better than to disturb the feast. the long table was filled with all kind of food, it looked delightful. aloysius took a seat at the end of it, taking all of it in. he was in contemplation – the servants were already in the room. they usually stuck around during meals, just to make sure aloysius does not suddenly change the menu. he had a beautiful crystal glass in front of him – it was filled with dark red liquid. it could have passed as wine, but nearly everyone knew that it was not alcohol. no matter how drunk aloysius got on it. -- piano piece: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E6b3swbnWg

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pxssionfruit/thegildedone ;

She waited with baited breath at his reaction; somehow she was prepared for the rejection that would come. In his eyes, she was probably just a silly little girl who attempted to befriend a monster. Surely, he wouldn't- surprise rushed through her body, eyes wide when her hand was taken. Chai felt small in his hold, her hand fragile into his strong one. Was he really willing to dance with her? Wasn't she meant to be discarded and treated as if her little wishes and desires were meaningless? Wasn't she just the lamb that had would be soon roasted in the pit for the wolf's dinner? It was clear that she hadn't expected it in the way she gawked, eyes widening enough so the light caught her irises, a flash of gold and green sparkling in otherwise dark orbs. her body stiffened for a moment before it relaxed, the music somehow soothing, crashing against his body. from this close, she could finally take a good look at the man. from the minutest imperfections that were almost invisible to the harsh lines and shadows in his face that seemed as if he had a permanent scowl, he exuded grace and regality. chai didn't understand how someone could be so beautiful could exist, but here he was; cold yet warm in her hold as they moved about the grandiose room in effortless steps, surprisingly able to match his waltz despite how her full skirt billowed at their feet. she had never had the chance to dance such back in the village; her family's finances were such that minor luxuries and hobbies were considered a waste. and right now that she was indulging in it, the worry she had back then seemed so far away. her thoughts were still running rampant in her head, her steps matching his rhythm accompanied by the sway of her body to the music so much that she hadn't noticed she was left alone under the chandelier until she sensed his warmth leaving her side. her face was inquisitive, intrigued by what was to come next when he spoke, his command oozing confidence and majesty. then the world changed, her breath taken by what transpired next. everything was in motion, the room itself coming to life as the music changed. the world darkened significantly outside, the pellets of rain hitting the windows harshly. yet somehow, it was spring's comfort and warmth that began seeping through. the chandelier twinkled in the moonlight and what was remaining of the candlelights as they dimmed, engulfing the room into a whimsical glow. something grazed her cheek with the weight of a feather, falling into her open palm and when she looked at it, in her hand laid a white petal, as soft as a baby's bum or the first of snowflakes she'd caught as a child. it was gone soon, joining the rest of its friends onto the carpeted floor when aloysius took her hand, leading her into a dreamy waltz. how their steps matched was a wondrous feat in itself, chai as fluid as he was when he moved her about the room. it was a beautiful rhythm, one that made her lose awareness of her surroundings, completely throwing herself into the music and the touch that tethered her to the ground. his hand left hers with a force that left her spinning into the middle of the room, her full skirts swarming elegantly at her feet. her eyes had closed, cheeks flushed out of both shyness and joy, her lips curved into the most timid grin she'd ever muster in her sixteen years of life and her hair was a fluid cascade of dark locks that caught the petals. the music dwindled down, the applause that overtook the room a roar that would shame the thunder and lightning that had started picking up outside. slowly, chai's eyes opened, cheeks flushing the same color of the petals that were at her feet and in her hair, searching for the man. aloysius had left her there, in the middle of the room with a crowd of onlookers. her face contorted into one of disbelief as she picked up her skirts and rushed back out the same way she came in after the man. she was too slow- hey, he was just too agile!, she thought to herself as she barged into the dining room, unconsciously leaving a trail of little flowers onto the floor. she glanced at the drenched man who had begun disappearing off somewhere, but her attention was caught once again by the man she had just danced with- she refused to admit that it was a sweet moment. "I'd have thought you were a gentleman!"she exclaimed, tone a bit too loud. she noticed roderick grimacing from his spot on the wall out of her peripheral vision but that did not stop the myriad of words that came out of her mouth as she stepped closer to aloysius, coming to a stand to where he was. "The least you can do is wait for me! My legs are not as long as yours! And you don't have to wear a skirt either and- oh!" the rant stopped as fast as it came, her gaze falling onto the feast-ladden table that sat in the middle of the room. it was filled with everything she could imagine, from a roasted suckling pig to an assortment of quince and cheese, fruit platters to a variety of desserts. she'd never seen so much food in her life; it was enough to feed the whole village back home! she spotted a seat that was readied for her at the other end of the long table- it was too distant, too aloof... just like the man who sat at the head of the table. swallowing thickly, she moved the chair that she was standing by which happened to be on his right and sat down, able to pick up the sounds of the servants running around to fix her new seat for her. "Thank you," she murmured kindly to one of the servants who placed a pristine plate and utensils in front of her. chai's hand hesitantly reached for her fork, the cold metal foreign in her hands. she was hungry and the whole castle was made aware of it when her stomach rumbled, rivaling that of the thunder outside. roderick snickered from his place on the wall in front of her and she was quick to raise her fist that was still gripping the fork, shaking it in warning at the boy in the painting. "Shut up, you wretched fopdoodle!" she glared at him but the boy only snickered harder, his face contorting into a grimace that was sure meant to poke fun at the girl who only stuck her tongue out at him, fist dropping down so she could stab a grape. she was far too hungry to shoot a clever quip so deciding she would deal with roderick later, she started to eat, the grape-tipped fork freezing about halfway to her mouth. she took a glance at the man beside her and hesitantly held the fruit to him in an attempt at being friendly. they did just dance, so maybe he wouldn't be too closed now, right? "Would you like one? I'm sure they are delicious,"she began, mouth upturning into what she hoped was a toothy grin but really was an awkward one. Roderick yodeled a bout of robust and obnoxious laughter, his exclamation causing her eyebrows to thread together into a scowl. "Oh, naive little girl! She wants to give our lord a grape! A grape! Haha!"

TO BE CONTINUED.

( @thegildedone​ )

[littlegalerion]

Drama Piece

I’ve been wanting to write an updated version of this for a while!

Featuring @foxyhearts ‘ bosmer Malika, whom in many an AU is basically Trechire’s adopted daughter. 

How does one break the news that you fell in love with a Tharn? 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“Zamarak said you wanted to see me? Urgently?” Malika laughed, sitting down across from her at the dining table.

Trechire composed herself, folding her hands neatly on the table before her. A pitcher of the sweetest Summerset tea was to her right, a small bowl of sugar to her left. In the distance, Hughe was still munching down on his breakfast, the Senche mount having already expressed he didn’t want to watch this disaster go down. So many servants had been sent in that morning to even set up the furnishings of Trechire’s new Rimmen home, the Hall of the Lunar Champion, but no amount of home comfort could set her at ease right now. She gazed across at the small bosmer woman, seated and kicking her legs, long ginger hair messy and bickering with her antlers. How many years had it been since Wrothgar, where they had first met, and now Malika had been always just a few steps away, a persistent shadow…

No, a daughter.

“You look refreshed,” Trechire observed, smiling weakly.

“I um, helped congratulate the queen’s first night of rule,” Malika smirked, and clicked her heels together a few times.

“Oh,” Trechire murmured. “So you and Khamira too? How does Ayrenn-”

“She’s cool,” Malika purred, shrugging. “They get me, what can I say?”

“Well…” Trechire cleared her throat, and fidgeted with the ring on her finger. “I have some news about last night too-”

“Wait!” Malika squeaked, and almost jumped onto the table. She pointed at the ring. “Is that a wedding ring?”

“Um, well, yes,” Trechire mumbled, and absent mindedly took a spoonful of sugar and dumped it into her cup of tea, mixing it roughly.

“Who, in the green, did you marry?” Malika exclaimed, baffled. “You weren’t dating anyone- WERE you dating someone, and I didn’t know? Who? Who?!” She huffed, crossing her arms. “I hate it when you keep important stuff like this from me! As if I can’t keep a secret.”

“It isn’t that,” Trechire assured her. “But this marriage does need to be kept secret. We both wear our rings, but no one can know, save for a selective, secretive few. One of which is you, because yes, I do trust you with a secret. Of course I do.”

“So who is it?” Malika asked again, smile widening so that Trechire could see her sharpened canines.

Again, Trechire took a spoonful of sugar and dumped it into her tea, swirling it with an iron grip on the spoon.

“He should really be here to tell you himself,” Trechire went on, her tongue feeling dry. She really should have taken a sip of the tea, but she felt like if she stopped stirring it, her heart would stop completely. Maybe that was the better option, though? “He had to continue our dragon hunting further south, but he promised he’d portal back in tonight.” She found herself smiling for a moment, despite her nerves. “He never wants to sleep in a tent again, if he can help it, and he reasoned he may only be able to use his portals for who knows how much longer at his age-”

“Mum,” Malika blurted. Her eyebrows were raised, and a look of horror was creeping over her face. “...Who did you marry?”

Trechire cleared her throat once more, and stilled her hand as best as she could, but still the spoon gently rattled against the fragile cup. “I married Abnur,” she said, and now actually tried to drink some of the tea. This was a fortunate, because Malika slammed down her fists onto the table, shaking it so terribly that the pitcher of tea toppled over and spilled onto the floor. “Let me explain.”

“You had better!” Malika hissed, looking disgusted. “Just...just EW!”

“To you,” Trechire reasoned, not daring to place the cup back on the table. “But we had been...teasing, ever since the Hall of Colossus.”

Malika stiffened. “...What the hell happened those times you two split off in a different than me when we were tracking the information down?”

“We were tracking the information down,” Trechire huffed defensively. “You honestly think I’d get frisky in a dark and smelling dungeon? With Worm cultists nearby?”

“You married Abnur Tharn,” Malika laughed sarcastically, and beat a fist against the table again. “By that logic alone I wouldn’t be surprised if you got wild on a necromancer’s alter!”

“Alright, you’re overreacting far more than what I expected,” Trechire sighed, shaking her head while still holding up her tea. “Please, understand that this doesn’t need to be awkward...”

“After what he did to Ayrenn?” Malika argued. “How do you think she’ll react to all this?”

“I..was hoping you’d keep it a secret,” Trechire sniffed. “Like how you said you could keep secrets?”

“Sure, yeah, sure,” Malika cringed, throwing her hands up in the air as she now jumped from her seat and paced around in circles. “Sure, while I’m busy spending cuddle time with my big, golden honey, I will totally keep a clear head, and not think about how somewhere, all the way across the world, my Mum is busy doing the same, but with the guy who invented and perfected the definition of asshole.”

“He’s changed,” Trechire barked, scowling. “You should be glad for that! That, maybe, is one of the few things to come out of this war for the better!”

“Fine, then let him have his little redemption fit,” Malika seethed. “But not all over you!”

“This is pointless,” Trechire grumbled, and now sat down her cup. Malika huffed and ran back to rock the table, making the cup spin until it splashed all over Trechire, then rolling off the table and smashing to pieces. “Come on!” Trechire snapped, standing to try and pat the liquid off her. “Was that really a mature way to handle this?”

Malika climbed onto the table, eyes burning with fury. “I will spill cup after cup of tea on you. Whatever it takes until you divorce his ass!”

“No,” Trechire whispered back with a still, mocking tone. She rubbed her hands together, sparking some embers on her palms and then hoovering them over her robes to dry herself.

“You’re an altmer!” Malika cried, crawling closer. “Isn’t this a doomed marriage from the start? Just save yourself the pain!”

“I am an altmer,” Trechire replied, as if talking to a toddler. “Fantastic observation! This is why it remains a secret. What Nibenay doesn’t know won’t hurt them, nor his reputation, nor mine.”

“Some marriage that is!” Malika wheezed. “You’re both ashamed of each other!”

“Not ashamed,” Trechire corrected. “Protective. We had a long discussion about this last night when he surprised me with the rings. It’s rough for us on both ends- you think I’m telling my parents? Ayrenn? Ha, you think I’m even going to tell any of the other Companions, back from the days in Coldharbor, if we ever cross paths again? No way!” She shook the heat from her hands, having done the best she could to save her robes. “The only other people I planned on telling were Khamira, Vivec, and Val.”

“What about Tharn?” Malika persisted, kicking her toe tips against the table in an irritated rhythm. “Who’s he going to tell? Not his family, oh hell no. You do realize you won’t be in the will, nor even the documented records of his family tree?”

“Not at the moment,” Trechire hummed, now using magic to reassemble her cup, so as to clean the floor of any broken glass. “But we had documents written up last night with official Imperial regulations, eccentric, signed and stamped by Abnur and then signed by Calo-” Trechire held her head, the tea cup falling apart again as she broke focus. “Oh yes, he knows as well. We needed a witness, and I couldn’t find you, so we finally came to terms with hope he would remain a secret little mouse over all this. At any rate, our marriage is official, and legally binding. We stashed them back in my Vila on Artaeum.”

“And what exactly does that even mean?” Malika huffed. “Suddenly you’re a part of the family and entitled to all his stuff, if you flash them around? No one would believe that, as long as Abnur isn’t there to reinforce it.”

“We just wanted it official,” Trechire growled, mending the cup once more. “We never plan on showing those documents to anyone, even if children come about in our future.”

“Please…” Malika hiccuped, holding her stomach. “Let’s...let’s just not even discuss that. I know how you feel about vomiting, and as much as I wanna hit you with the broad side of my bow right now, I’m not that vengeful as to get sick… So just drop that before it’s out of my control.”

Trechire rolled her eyes. “I’m over two hundred and have never bore a child. It’s a possibility. I still have my fertility.”

“Seriously,” Malika coughed, holding her gut.

“Grow up,” Trechire snapped, and placed the cup on the table, now it being her turn to pace in irritation. “I knew you’d get upset, but I expected some sort of compromise, some sort of understanding. Some sort of maturity!”

“Well, I am being mature! Because this is messed up,” Malika argued, sitting back on the table, now tensed as she unleashed either the best reasoning ever or the worst possible thing to bring up to her. “Maybe your parents have a point. Maybe you’re just not right in the head anymore, and you really have gotten desperate!”

Growing still, Trechire turned back to her, eyes wide in shock. From the other side of the room, Hughe stopped chomping, and his eyes poked out from the shadows, glittering with unseen emotion as he watched.

“I...am not  losing my mind,” Trechire spat, not moving from her position. Her words were laced with venom now, shaking Malika a bit. She’d never seen the altmer this outraged. “Funny everyone keeps suggesting that, because honestly maybe that’s why I even noticed Abnur to begin with. From the get go, twenty years ago, he never sugar coated anything for me. No, he’s treated me like the Champion of Vivec, the Vestige, like a capable mage who’s successfully thwarted daedric scheme after daedric scheme, who’s earned the respect of such titles! Yes, I’ve lost...a few loves in my time, and many, many friends…” She was trembling. “But I’m not losing my mind.”

Suddenly Malika felt a stab of guilt for even bringing it up. She remembered Vanus and Caafire’s lectures to their daughter, which they had ambushed her with for months, after the death of Laloriaran, and the final jab at Molag Bal. Not scolding, but the constant peppering and sweet talking of how “it’s alright to be sad” and “take all the time you need to grieve, nobody is judging you.” But then Malika recalled the stories Ayrenn had told her, about her time in custody within Cryodiil, under Abnur Tharn’s mercy.

“Fine,” Malika mumbled, and slowly slid off the table. “You’re not crazy, and neither am I, so I won’t tell Ayrenn.” She shrugged, looking at Trechire numbly. “But I’m not having any part of it. I won’t stop talking to you, you’re my Mum, but he’s nothing to me, and that’s how it is. Forever. Okay?”

“Okay,” Trechire replied in the same numb tone.

Malika threw a look at Hughe, and turned, walking towards the door. Neither mer called out to the other, and both shook as the door opened and slammed shut, leaving their minds to a cold, cruel silence.

[crazynekochan]

Omegaverse Fantasy AU (Approximately in a Steampunk/1920’s transition period): King Gundham has recently been crowned king in his own right after a rather long regency (his father was assassinated when he was younger, not that he’s too upset, since his dad was a violent asshole who never treated Gundham’s mother well. Gundham was their only child, so he became king.) Now that he’s king, his mother tells him that the council is expecting him to start considering who he wants as a mate. He’s not very happy about this, since he’s painfully shy and he doesn’t want to be forced to choose a mate, but this is his mother and he loves her, so Gundham agrees to perform the Soulmate Ceremony.

The Soulmate Ceremony is a magical/religious ceremony where an unmated royal would have a magical rite performed and, at the end, it will show their ideal mate. It works best when the royal is rather open with their intentions and when the ideal mate is shown as actually obtainable (or within their acceptable social range), but plenty of royals have wed ideal mates that are way out of their social circle or required great lengths to even meet in person, much less mate. The Tanakas haven’t had the ritual done for their family members in centuries, mostly getting into political marriages or, on occasion, never officially mating the other parent of their children. But Gundham has much more faith and interest in magic, no prior engagement, and absolutely no interest in trying to woo one of the dams that are practically falling over themselves for him (combination of shyness and disinterest in most, if not all of them).

Sonia, Gundham’s best (and only) friend and a very capable mage in her own right, visits with her wife, Kyoko (they met through an international smuggling case Kyoko was working on), and Gundham asks her to help perform the Soulmate Ceremony, since he can’t do it by himself and he doesn’t want to bring in someone he doesn’t know to help set him up with who is supposed to be the love of his life. Sonia gladly accepts and by the next day, the preparations for the ceremony are complete and Gundham is pacing anxiously in a private chamber next to his throne room out of nervousness (though he would never admit it).

Gundham’s mother, being the saint she is, tells him that he doesn’t have to go through with the ceremony if he doesn’t want to or even get a mate if he doesn’t want to but Gundham reassures her, telling her that he’ll go through with the ceremony. Mother and son share a very sweet hug and they head out into the throne room, which is absolutely filled with the press because a Tanaka hasn’t had the ceremony performed in centuries and this is a super significant event that determines the future stability of the nation.

The ritual goes ahead and, appearing in the magic smoke from the incense, is the technomage (a person with control over technology and who creates such advanced tech that it might as well be magic, never has much, if any actual magic) Kazuichi, who lives near the dragon-infested mountains on the border and has quite a few nasty rumors surrounding him, including him killing his own father and laying waste to his home village with his inventions when the authorities came to arrest him for the murder.

Gundham is smitten instantly, of course, despite the terror and horror from about half of the visitors to the castle and the frantic flood of questions from the press about what the hell that means for their royal family and country (Gundham’s mother is mostly happy that Gundham’s happy; Sonia’s happy that the ritual worked (at least he didn’t go into an allergic shock from the incense like her cousin Nagito did during his ritual) and Gundham’s clearly smitten with Kazuichi; Kyoko’s mentally evaluating all of the information she knows about Gundham’s preferences and how well Kazuichi matches up with them). 

Now, Kazuichi has not done anything from the rather nasty rumors about him; he just ran away from his village to the mountains by using his technology (Which includes humongous magic crystal-powered mecha that he can never actually ride in before getting motion sick from the first step of the mecha) and he quite ardently refuses to interact with anyone that tries to use his technology for malicious purposes, sires from town that won’t take a hint, or the nosy press (he’s got a security system surrounding his property which he activates at will to take out unwanted guests).

He’s taking a social call from his two friends and fellow technomages Chihiro and Miu when there is some rather firm, repeated knocking on his cottage door. He’s not expecting anyone, which confuses him a lot, so he gets up from their planning table to answer the door. Which is when he opens the door to see the actual King standing there (holding a bouquet and blushing bright red into his customary scarf?) flanked by two royal guards (Nekomaru and Akane) and a larger royal retinue and press corp standing just 30 ft behind the King, which he can’t really see because both guards and the King (the actual King!) are very broad and buff, especially the King who looks so much bigger than in the papers (did he mention that this was the actual king?!?)

Gundham is quietly talking with Nekomaru and Akane (they’re giving him a pep talk before he actually talks to Kazuichi) when the door opens and he sees Kazuichi answer the door in messy simple workman’s clothes and wow, he looks so much more attractive in person and his scent is amazing and Gundham can feel himself blush into his scarf, oh, Great Spirits, speak you fool!!

And before Gundham can get a word out, Kazuichi shrieks and shuts the door behind him. And the press caught every moment of it. So this is going to be much more difficult than anyone thought.

—

Mod: The way you wrote this made me laugh so much, especially the end with all the emphasises and their thoughts in the text. Though the best part is by far the fact that Kazuichi’s only reaction to the king is shrieking in fear and slamming the door into his face, for everyone to see and enjoy. (Though the mentioning that Nagito went into an allergic shock when he did the ritual was funny as well, even if I feel so bad for him ^^” But it’s fitting, since this is Nagito and almost dying in exchange for finding his soulmate is just how he works ^^”)

When Gundham does the ritual I could so see him not actually really believing that anything would come out of it. Not because he doesn’t believe in it, but because he likes to pretend that he’s an evil overlord he needs no one and is destined to walk the world alone. Which is nothing more than him trying to hide that he is probably shaking from nervousness and shyness about the prospect of having to court and mate someone. At least until he actually sees Kazuichi and instantly falls in love. No matter if other’s might be in shock that this was supposedly a wanted murderer. Though to his luck he is friends with Kyoko who would be fast to find out what really happened with Kaz’s old village and his dad

The courting would be a pure adventure, because one of the first things Gundham needs to do is actually get close to Kazuichi, who has a lot of high level technology solely designed to keep people away from him. That Kazuichi probably also fears that the king is there to arrest him or force him to give him his service as a inventor to build him god know what also doesn’t help, because no one ever wanted anything else from the poor guy. Though then imagine Kaz’s reaction when he actually learns that the king doesn’t want him in prison or as an inventor for deadly machines, but actually wants him as his mate and future queen. Him, as the queen of the whole kingdom. Now that is something to kick off his anxiety x)

I could also imagine that many within the kingdom, and also the royal court, wouldn’t be very trusting of Kazuichi as a future queen (and maybe also question it if a guy who is destined to love a “wanted criminal” would be a good king) and try to get in-between the courtship or even try to get rid of Kazuichi altogether. This could add in quite a lot of drama

[drsilverfish]

The Riddle of the Sphinx: 14x12 Prophet and Loss

First, thanks to @verobatto-angelxhunter  @gneisscastiel @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks  @mrsaquaman187  for inviting me to guest this week, as part of their ongoing SPN #Metafest project @metafest  

along with several other guests:  @bluephoenixrises  @poorreputation @agusvedder @amwritingmeta   @savannadarkbaby @prairiedust  and

@norahastuff 

I’m going to guest meta about the Riddle of the Sphinx.

Here is creepy Tony Alvarez drowning his first victim. 

Despite an opening dose of Bucklemming torture-porn (ugh - although tbf there was a narrative point, as the drowned girl was a mirror for Dean, just like the slain first-born son and the dude who almost got barbecued were - more on that later...)... So, yeah, despite that, I was thrilled to see this in the visual narrative architecture - the Sphinx Machine Shop, where Tony does his mangled prophecy induced killing.

The Sphinx, as you know, is a fearsome part-woman, part winged-lion beastie, in Greek mythology, who was famous for guarding the entrance to Thebes and asking travellers to solve the answer to a riddle in order to gain safe passage to the city. If they failed, she devoured them.

She is tied in mythology not just to puzzles and their solutions, but to fate...

Here is the Sphynx of Naxos, from the Temple of Apollo at Delphi (560 BCE)

Image from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sphinx_of_Naxos 

The Temple of Delphi was the site of the Oracle of Delphi, who was the High Priestess Pythia (a transferrable role) famous for her prophesies, which came to her in trance-states, supposedly from the God Apollo.

You see the link to SPN’s own Prophet role here.... 

The Sphinx also, famously, appears in Sophocles’ play Oedipus Rex, which became the basis for Freud’s also famous (and relevant a bit later) “Oedipus complex”. Sophocles didn’t invent the myth, but his telling is its most famous rendition. 

Despite his other misfortunes, Oedipus doesn’t get devoured by the Sphinx, because he solves her riddle, a popular rendition of which is: 

“What goes on four legs, on two legs, on three, and the more legs it goes on, the weaker it be?” 

The answer, is - a human (baby, adult, old person with a stick).

Oedipus’ story is a classic story about fate, just like Appointment in Samara (re-worked in an SPN episode, 6x11, but originally an old Mesopotamian tale) which @mittensmorgul  and I were talking about just recently, in relation to themes of fate vs free will in SPN (specifically in relation to the role played by Death - see here for the discussion:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182454009599/mittensmorgul-drsilverfish-mittensmorgul  )

Oedipus’ story is a (f-d up) family drama - rather relevant to our very own Family Winchester [no, NOT because this is all about either of the boys wanting to sleep with Mary Winchester - thanks Dr. Freud - although, come to think of it, Dean did say she was hot in 4x03 In The Beginning :-)]  

14x13 Lebanon promo shot 

When baby Oedipus is born, his father King Laius receives a prophecy that his son will grow up to kill him, and so, he sends a shepherd to expose the baby on the mountainside to die, before that can happen. The shepherd however, not being an asshole, saves the baby, and raises him secretly as his own.  

Oedipus grows up, and he eventually learns from the Oracle at Delphi herself (see above) that he is fated to kill his father and marry his mother. Believing the shepherd and his wife are his true mother and father, whom he loves, he leaves his home in the mountains for the city of Thebes, determined to defy the prophecy.

On the way, he meets a quarrelsome old man on the road, they fight, and Oedipus kills him:

When he gets to Thebes, he finds the King has been slain, by persons unknown, and the town is at the mercy of the Sphinx. Oedipus, by guessing the Sphinx’s riddle, obtains safety for the town and is, in gratitude, appointed King himself and given the widowed Queen, Jocasta’s, hand in marriage.

All is well for a bit, until a plague descends on Thebes, and Oedipus is told that to save the city, he must avenge King Laius’ death. So, he goes sleuthing, with the extremely relucant help of his seer Tiresius, and to his horror, discovers that he is the one who killed the King (that old dude on the road to Thebes all those years ago), that he is the King’s true son, and has, therefore, killed his father and, in marrying Queen Jocasta, married his mother and committed incest, fulfilling the prophecy he set out to escape from. He promptly blinds himself in horror. Poor ancient Greek dude. 

The Chorus laments the power of fate

O heavy hand of fate!          Who now more desolate, Whose tale more sad than thine, whose lot more dire?          O Oedipus, discrowned head,          Thy cradle was thy marriage bed;

http://www.gutenberg.org/files/31/31-h/31-h.htm  - Project Gutenberg translation of Oedipus Rex. 

A reference to the story of Oedipus and the Sphinx is extremely pregnant right now in the SPN narrative, for two reasons:

1) Fate vs Free Will

2) The Ghost of John Winchester

1) Fate vs Free Will

Dean thinks his interpretation of the book Billie handed him in 14x10 Nihilism - apparently the only death of his in which AU!Michael doesn’t take over his meat-suit and burn the world - means he has to sink himself to the bottom of the ocean, in the Ma’lak (angel) box and that’s “fate”. 

Like Oedipus, there is no escape. 

However, 14x12 tells us two things. Firstly, by analogy - the prophecy is wrong. Alvarez thinks he is carrying out the prophetic Word of God TM by recreating a twisted version of the Plagues of Egypt sent by God in Exodus:

1) The slaughter of a first-born son

2) Drowning in the Red Sea

3) Fire out of Heaven

(all of which are mirrors for what Dean thinks is his “fate” right now: death of a first born son; being drowned forever at the bottom of the ocean in the Ma’lak box; being consumed by the AU Archangel Michael’s Heavenly grace/fire).

But it’s a garbled message, received as a result of Prophet Donatello’s comatose scramblings. 

Secondly, screw prophecy - against the odds, Dr. Sexy of the Lord (yeah - you know Dean thought it) is able to revive Donatello, thus preventing further scramblings (aka wrong prophesies). 

CASTIEL: “Dean - if there is a spark, a hope, then I have to try.... you taught me that!” 

I loved that line, with its resonance all the way back, like a skein of blue grace, to the Apocalypse Mark One, when Dean convinced Castiel, in Zacharia’s (also due to return in 14x13 Lebanon) “green room” in 4x22 Lucifer Rising, to disobey Heaven for the sake of humanity (Yes, Dean, an angel did fall for you...). 

In other words, just as the Winchesters beat their “fate” to be “angel condoms” for Michael and Lucifer last time around, by “tearing up the script” and “making it up as they go” (4x22 Lucifer Rising) thanks to the help of rebel angel Castiel, so they can do so again.   

2) The Ghost of John Winchester

In the SPN world’s worst kept spoiler, we know John will return next week in 14x13 Lebanon. We’ve been meta’ing about the ghost of John Winchester haunting the SPN narrative for... forever.  

Here is some meta of mine on the subject from S12:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/158388550099/john-winchesters-ghost-and-the-haunting-of-s12 

John is explicitly recalled, during the brothers’ (beautifully rendered) car conversation in 14x12:

DEAN: “You ever think about when we were kids?”

SAM: “Maybe, yeah, sure, sometimes, why?”

DEAN: “I know I wasn’t always the greatest brother to you.”

SAM: “Dean, you were the one who was always there for me. The only one. I mean, you practically raised me.”

DEAN: “I know things got dicey, you know with Dad, the way he was... and I just.... I didn’t always look out for you the way that I should of. I mean, I had my own stuff, y’know, and in order to keep the peace, it probably looked like I took his side quite a bit. Sometimes, when I was away, you know it wasn’t cos I just ran out, right? Dad would, he would send me away, when I really pissed him off. I think you knew that.”

SAM: “Man I left that behind a long time ago, I had to.”  

AU!Michael, I’ve been arguing since the start of the season, is a mirror for Dean’s self-repression and for John Winchester. See:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179463975289/shirtlesssammy-14x03the-scar-meta-writers

John was one of the major causes of Dean’s self-repression, as illustrated in the convo above, where it’s clear Dean had to grow up too fast to become a substitute-parent to Sam, where he was often obedient to their father to “keep the peace”, and where he was also often, unreasonably, punished by his father in the process (such as, as we already know, when he was sent to Sonny’s after stealing food for Sam in 9x07 Bad Boys). 

According to psychoanalysis, we always internalise psychological constructs of our parents - Freud calls them imagos. So the Riddle of the Sphinx, for Dean, is how to kill (or rather, lay to rest) the ghost of his father (whom AU! Michael is a mirror for) and with it, the self-repression which has wounded him so much, psychically, since childhood, without letting it kill him too.  

Nick, of course (general shudder) also serves as a John Winchester mirror in the episode - his obsessive revenge quest for the slaughter of his wife (aka mirror Mary Winchester) by Abraxas, led to something she never wanted - damage to innocents along the way (aka mirror innocents, Sam and Dean). 

To Conclude

The answer to the Sphinx’s riddle, the one that helped Oedipus avoid being devoured by her was.... humanity.

Light Sphinx, 2015-2016, Mixed media (inc. foam, hand stitched fabrics, LEDs, beads, synthetic hair), 74 x 32 x 54 cm by Tarryn Gill

https://tarryngill.com/Light-Sphinx-Shadow-Sphinx-2015-16 

Dean IS the symbolic representation of humanity (which is why Amara was so fascinated by him, and let’s not forget Metatron’s words about Castiel in 9x22 Stairway to Heaven  - “He’s in love with.... humanity”).  

Our first-born Winchester son just has to believe what this episode showed him -  prophecy can be wrong.

His “fate” - to die, to drown forever, to be consumed by holy grace/fire, to remain trapped by the ghost of his father, by his own self-repression, by AU!Michael, by the Ma’lak box (aka, in subtext, the closet) is NOT the “Word of God”.

And killing one’s father doesn’t (as it did for Oedipus) have to mean damnation, if, the way one does it, is symbolically, by laying his ghost to rest in one’s heart and mind (hello upcoming SPN 300 14x13 Lebanon).

Freud believed the resolution of the Oedipus complex (for boys) was identification with the father (and no, we don’t have to concur with Dr. Freud). Dean has actually been on an oppositve journey, to get out from under his father’s shadow.   

The Jungian solution, which the S14 narrative is offering to the metaphorical Riddle of the Sphinx, is, to turn around and embrace the Shadow-self (the parts of oneself one has repressed) and in so doing, to evolve - to become more fully human.

So, a final salute to Jerry Wanek and team, and the ever wonderful SPN set dressing narrative, for The Sphinx Machine shop!

NB:

You can read my Jungian Meta series here, if you’re interested:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/180906003584/the-shadow-14x08

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/181122764984/14x09-the-spear-jungian-decoder-ring-edition

 http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182299438269/jung-and-deans-journey-towards-self-integration

And if, you want to read more of my SPN meta in general, go visit my blog and look under the “Meta” sidebar tag: http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/tagged/Meta 

Plus, if you want to read lots of other people’s fabulous SPN meta, go check out the “SPN Meta” sidebar tag: http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/tagged/SPN%20Meta 

Thanks for having me @metafest !

DrSphinx out.  

[fuck-onionboy]

where to begin?

i really dont know where to begin, so let’s begin with onision’s earliest interactions with women, the following are excerpts from lifeofonion.com because they seem to have the most comprehensive knowledge of greg’s pre-skye life:

Childhood Girls Greg dated and/or had crushes on in Elementary School.

Aubry

He says Aubry was the first girl he ever dated and the first girl he ever thought he loved. They dated in the 2nd grade. Greg says one day a boy named Phillip said Aubry was his girlfriend and told Greg to get away from her. He said other "nasty things", so Greg asked Aubry if she minded watching him beat Phillip. She said she did not, so he turned around and "began swinging as hard and fast as I could..." Phillip grabbed Greg's long hair and flipped him. Greg says he landed on the ground and Phillip "managed to land quite a few punches." The fight was broken up and Greg says Phillip cried and Greg smiled. Greg says he and Phillip were "ok" after the fight, but Phillip passed away two years later.

He says he and Aubry never talked after the incident.

Alana Greg says he had a crush on Alana in elementary school. He says she always had surgeries on her arm and felt bad for her.

Amber Greg says he fell for Amber in the 4th grade and she was the most beautiful girl he met up until that point. He says he spoke to her on occasion, but in 2005 he said he lost track of her.

[Unknown Name] In the 4th grade, he asked a girl out that looked like Winona Ryder with a letter. She ended up dumping with with a letter.

This could be Amber (above).

Pre-teen Girls Greg dated and/or had crushes on when he was 10 to 12 years old.

Lindsey Greg says Lindsey asked him out when he was in the 5th grade. He didn't understand what she meant and asked, "which movie?" She later broke up with him from a line he believes she got from the WB. He says it was all a "sham", but he thought she was funny at the time.

Julia Julia was Greg's first kiss. He also had his first sexual experience with her. Greg was 11 and Julia was 15. This would have been in 1997. Greg spoke about his experiences with Julia several times over the years. In 2018, Greg named and modeled a character in his 3rd book, Reaper's Creek, after Julia and wrote about their sexual experiences. This caused some controversy due to their ages.In 2019, Greg bought a love doll to sell nude photos and videos of and named her Julia Love.

Crystal Greg says he dated Crystal in the 6th grade. He says she looked like Zooey Deschanel, "except she was Mexican". She dumped him because she thought he had blue eyes, when he really had green eyes.

Teen Girls Greg dated and/or had crushes on when he was a teenager

Monica Greg says he asked out Monica in the 7th grade. He says "she basically looked like Jennifer Love Hewitt with braces." They dated for two weeks. She dumped him because her friend did not like him.

Sharnell

Greg says they dated when he was 15-years-old. He says he groped Sharnell's boob, then broke up with her.

Jennifer Greg had a crush on Jennifer when he was 15. Jennifer is Michael's sister. They attended Greg's father's church. Greg says she was hyper and loved to run. Greg says he had his eyes on Jennifer for a while. He loved her high energy and he thought she was fun. He also notes that he liked that she was inexperienced with boys because he likes "teaching people about everything".

Greg confessed his feelings for her in a letter, but she called him and told him she did not think of him the same way. Greg continued to see her for a while whenever he would visit his father.

Ashley Greg says he met Ashley in his high school Earth Club. They spoke on and off for three years. Eventually they began watching movies together in each other's arms. The relationship came to an end when Greg invented his religion, Sicesca, and they had a huge fight over it. Ashley told Greg she never wanted to speak to him again and he laughed about it.

Unknown Age Greg did not specify when he dated these girls.

Danielle

Greg says he broke up with Danielle because "she kissed me like a garden hose." Greg says years after they dated, she called him to brag about how large her breasts got. Keesha Greg says he thought that Keesha was "literally, psychotically in love with me... like... horror film "in-love"." He says everything she owned had his name on it and "every other word she spoke was one directed towards me, about me..." He says he broke up with her because she hit on him too much. He tied to tell her he preferred smiling as flirting, but she did not understand.

Tia

They were friends, but ended up dating. He said it was weird and when they kissed, he didn't feel anything. They broke up after only dating four days.

In 2005, while talking about their short relationship, Greg says, "she's quite fantastic, she has a wonderful laugh, beautiful eyes, smile.. she just makes me feel comfortable..." They possibly could have still been friends at that point as he kept in contact with many of his exes at that time.

and now we move onto the skye era, which my main source will be lifeofonion still but also skye and shiloh’s testimonies about their relationship. 

skye and greg met in 2001 in their computer class, but didn’t start talking until 2003, and by 2005 they were married and greg was enlisted in the us air force (usaf)

“Skye and her sister, "Netunesa", participated in many of Greg's early websites and videos. For example, they began working on a video series on January 2, 2005 titled Odd Dolls. This was described on their site as dolls doing "hilarious/nasty things to one another.. these things involved such acts as, murder, arson, PDA, swearing, and various other non-PC actions." They made about 24 episodes. Greg said he broke up with Skye for the first time because she was depressed and he told her he could never make her happy. They because friends. In January 2005, Greg signed up for the United States Air Force. A few months later, in March 2005, someone who is believed to be Skye's mother told her to "be careful around Greg" because of his anger. Greg confronts this person through email and explains that he argues with Skye to "teach her something." The next day, Greg sent Skye what seems to be an email talking about a separation between them. He forwarded the email to his ex Tanya and asked her opinion. He then sent his ex another email, seemingly trying to win her back. Two months after the incident, on May 28, 2005, Greg and Skye became engaged. Greg stated, before their marriage he asked Skye to sign a prenup and she cried. Greg now uses this incident as evidence of his claim that Skye put on "water works" because she was interested in his money.”

greg and skye married in august of 2005 and for the first few years of their marriage they moved around a lot due to greg’s military job.

“On January 24th, 2007 Greg wrote a long blog post explaining why he made the decision for he and Skye to stop hanging out with friends and only hang out with each other and family. He explains he chose Skye to be with him for the rest of his life and having friends does not improve it and makes him suffer. Three days later, on January 27th, 2007, two mutual friends of Greg and Skye tried to separate them because the friends believed Greg was bad for Skye. Greg replied to this on his blog and told the friends that they are in-fact the ones that are bad for Skye because they can't look past his personality and they don't know he tells Skye he loves her every day.”

this is clearly the beginning of greg’s isolation and abuse patterns which he continued with shiloh, and continues with kai.

“In a 2008 blog post, Greg reveals his worst nightmare is not about monsters, but of his his wife leaving him or vice versa. This is something he would again say about his [husband], [Kai], in 2016. During his marriage to Skye, Greg would publicly express never wanting to have children. He said it would be selfish to have children due to overpopulation. (this was a speaks video) Years after the marriage (and after becoming a father), Greg said it was Skye who didn't want children and that's why he would say that. Greg revealed a couple of their marriage agreements in a 2010 video titled "Lover's Pact". One is an "honesty pact", to never lie or keep secrets from each other. The other agreement is a "health pact", to stay skinny. He states it would be selfish for one of them to gain weight and not take into consideration the other person's sexual needs. He says it would be hard for them to maintain attraction for the other when they are "intentionally, consciously letting themselves go". Greg spoke more about his marriage to Skye on his OnisionSpeaks channel and would give viewers advice about how to have a successful marriage like theirs. It is believed most of these videos were removed from his channel after the divorce.During the entirety of the marriage, Greg would often talk about he and Skye's relationship fondly online. Even as late as 2010 (the year he divorced her), when Greg was asked "At what point did you realize that Skye was the one you wanted to spend your life with???" he responded "When I realized her morals and interests were almost identical to mine… and that she loved me more than any girl I ever met… even when I’m being annoying or rude… she loves me… as I do her." Now, Greg says he only saw Skye as a friend and describes the marriage as "friends with benefits" or "bros hanging out". He says he was actually in love with his ex Shiree and only married Skye to receive military benefits, such as living off base and not having to live in the dorms. He says he and Skye would watch anime, play video games, and make love, but the making love stopped at the end of the relationship.“

so the patterns of abuse and control continue with the “health pacts.”

“Greg created his Onision YouTube on January 29, 2006. Greg was discharged from the United States Air Force in January 2009. He and Skye lived with Greg's mother for 8 months while they were finding a house. According to Greg, there was an [incident] where Skye was crying and his mother laughed and screamed in her face. He says this was because Skye didn't want help out around the house. After the military, Greg began to seriously pursue a YouTube career. Skye worked out of the house and supported both of them while Greg stayed home and worked on building his YouTube career. When his channel became successful enough to financially support them both, he asked her to quit her job and work for the YouTube channel with him full time. Skye would often act in the Onision Channel skits and appeared in his first viral hit, Banana Song. She would also make appearances in some OnisionSpeaks videos, usually messing around in the background or sitting next to him. Skye also designed some Onision shirts for Greg. Skye was adored by virtually all of Greg's fan base at the time.Skye joined YouTube on February 9, 2008 with her own channel, Tantaga (channel now removed), where she uploaded comedy and blooper videos. The last recorded number of subscribers on the Tantaga channel before its deletion was 13,164. At some point, it seems Skye lost interest in YouTube and would not work with Greg on videos anymore. He says she would lay on the couch all day and watch anime or look at pictures of flowers and dresses on her laptop. Skye later revealed she was suffering from depression. Toward the end of their marriage, the Onision channel became hugely successful. The channel had reached the Top 100 Most Subscribed YouTubers list by 2010.“

so greg was beginning to take off, but his and skye’s relationship was far from perfect, and skye was depressed, probably due to the isolation from her friends and most likely family, and they “divorced” on christmas eve 2010

“On December 24, 2010 Greg announced through his Facebook fanpage that he and Skye had been separated since December 17th. That same day, he uploaded "Greg & Skye Divorced", where he says he and Skye decided to get a divorce because they are not compatible and many other reasons. He says they are still friends and he still loves her. He says he and Skye will still be living together for a while. He says he moved on because he couldn't do it anymore and he hopes she moves on too. He tells his fans to be kind to her and show support because she deserves respect. Many fans were hoping it was a joke, but soon found out it wasn't. As the news spread, it brought mixed emotions to Greg and Skye's fanbase. Most were saddened by the news and some even went as far to say they felt like their own parents were getting a divorce. This news came seemingly out of nowhere to fans, as Greg and Skye seemed to be keeping up the same energy and emotions into their videos as when they first started. Some fans even contacted Greg to tell him he was making a mistake by divorcing Skye. Greg replies in the video "Onision's Divorce Was A Mistake?" saying these fans are ignorant and he did not have a perfect marriage. He says it was sad and draining. On December 25, Greg uploaded the skit video "Demon Possessed Girl" to his main channel. The video featured him, Skye and Cyr. It was the last skit Greg uploaded with Skye. At the end of the skit he asked fans to show Skye love, she could use it due to recent hardships. During this time Greg had his friend Cyr staying at their house. Sometime after Skye had moved out of the home, Greg uploaded the video "She Betrayed Me". In the video he walks around his house as he lists items Skye and her sister have taken from the home. He heavily implies she stole over $2,000 of his items from his home when he was not there. He says he wished she had told him she was going to take items from the home beforehand and that he was still willing the follow the "agreement" they had over living arrangements and monthly payments. Text appears under him, revealing the details. "I agreed to either cover her bills in my home for 2 years, or pay her $1,000 a month for a year outside my home" Greg has since deleted the video. After uploading this video, he uploaded another video showing surveillance footage of Skye and her sister removing items through his front porch. In the video he says he will take legal action. This video has also been deleted.After Skye began receiving harassment due to Greg's videos, he uploaded "Please Leave Skye Alone", where he asked fans to stop leaving hate comments on her channel. Skye says the divorce was sudden and came out of nowhere. Greg states he threatened her with divorce for the first time in June 2010 over an argument about their possessions. He has also stated he asked for one in October and regrets not following through with it at that time. There are two main reasons Greg states as to why he divorced his first wife. One reason is that he was upset that Skye "felt entitled to 50% of his assets". He says he made it clear their relationship was not about material items. He says despite marriage being an asset split in the eyes of the law, he believed they had an agreement that "everything she acquired in her life was hers, and he in his". He says when she wanted their possessions to be split, she was showing greed and he wanted out. The other reason Greg says he divorced Skye was because she "just sat around and browsed the web". He says she began to have problems with motivation and would quit making videos with him in the middle of filming. He also says she once had a "melt down" in-front of him and his mom for no reason.”

so this is where things start to get legally sketchy, he writes HIS OWN DIVORCE AGREEMENT, and follows skye around the house screaming at her to sign it. so it wasn’t legal to begin with because it wasn’t notarized, or written by an actual lawyer, or an actual legal contract in any way, shape, or form, but then he makes skye sign it under duress, making it doubly invalid

“When talking or blogging about his ex-wife, Skye, Greg often posts the divorce contract he created. The contract is dated December 22, 2010. In the contract Greg states that he would let Skye continue to live in his house rent free until December 22, 2011, 1 year. If she moves out, he states he would pay her $1,000 a month. The contract also states, when Skye signs the papers, she forfeits all home ownership rights to Greg. Greg often brings up this contract to prove that Skye ignored her signed agreement to him. He says when she and her sister took items from him home, she stole the signed agreement, although he had already made copies. He says in the end, that made no difference. According to Greg, Skye declined the offer to continue living with him because she was still in love with him and being around him would be too painful for her. (It's worth noting Greg was planning on starting his relationship with Shiloh during this time and shortly after separating from Skye he began living with Shiloh.)According to Skye, after Greg wrote up the contract he demanded her to sign it. "He would proceed to follow me around the house for hours at a time screaming at me that if I really loved him, I would sign the paperwork, Eventually after the endless onslaught, I gave in as my spirit was quite broken." Skye says due Greg forcing her to sign the contract and the fact that it was not proper or notarized, the court determined the contract was null. Skye [pursued] Greg legally for alimony payments. For years Greg has said Skye stole from him by lying about how much money of the Onision business she was entitled to. He says he got scared and settled without stepping into a courthouse.”

this is everything up to the skye era as described by outside sources, my next post will be skye’s testimony of their relationship (if i can find it), if not my next post will be the beginning of the shiloh era.

im sorry this was so fucking long but if you actually read the whole thing sauce me a follow? this is going to be an ongoing project but i just started and appreciate any exposure i can get

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

Six Baudelaires AU, Part Two {AO3} {Masterlist} {Part One}

Chapter Ten → in which the In Auction is planned 

“Lilac, when we get transferred to our next guardian,” Klaus said, “If they make us wear pinstripe suits, I’m going to strangle somebody.”

“I dunno.” Lilac said. “I kind of like them.”

“Of course you do, you goth bitch.” Nick said, tossing a pen for Solitude to catch.

Living with the Squalors was certainly interesting. The Baudelaires lived close to their old home, so when Esme went to work every morning, Jerome could take them out to see their old favorite spots. Violet and Lilac dragged everyone through the Verne Invention Museum, Klaus and Nick made them all visit the Akhmatova Bookstore to look for new encyclopedias or atlases that Jerome would graciously offer to buy for them, and Solitude was excited to go to a place she’d barely noticed before their unfortunate events began- a zoo, where her and Nick would plant themselves in the reptile sections and refuse to see anything else. Sunny didn’t really care to see much, but she did often request that they stop by the Fickle Fountain, where she’d dip her hands or feet in the water and giggle. Jerome would often take them out to lunch, too, or take them to some of his favorite places, and the Baudelaires loved to hear him talk about his memories of the mountains and how their Mother tried to teach him to whistle with crackers in his mouth.

But during the afternoons, the children would return to 667 Dark Avenue, and climb up the long, long, long staircase. When they got back to the penthouse, they’d have to navigate their way through the seventy-one rooms to find where they wanted to go. Only Nick had managed to memorize a path, but sometimes even he was tired or bored and took them down a wrong turn, or they were temporarily splitting up and the group without him got hopelessly lost. They rarely saw Jerome or Esme in the afternoons- though they didn’t mind missing Esme, who only talked about what was in and out and seemed to not notice the orphans at all.

Also, the Baudelaires had been given pinstripe suits in order to be as in as their guardians, but they didn’t fit well. They often had to push or pin up sleeves, and Lilac had to help Solitude and Sunny cut theirs. They added an extra pocket inside Solitude’s, though, to hide Babbitt, who didn’t quite like the loud city or confusing apartment, and spent almost all of their time sleeping in their owner’s pocket, whenever they weren’t in the bedroom, where Solitude would play with them.

While there were many bedrooms, the Baudelaires didn’t like the idea of being separate in such a confusing place, so they found a room with two bunk beds. Violet and Nick called dibs on the top bunks, and Solitude and Sunny slept on piled pillows on the floor, with Babbitt finding a nice bed for themself on a fabric cupholder on top of a desk. Unfortunately for the frog, it was a bit hard to find bugs inside the penthouse, so Solitude compensated by spoiling them with any bugs they happened across outside the penthouse, so long as Jerome wasn’t looking- apparently, herpetology was out, so the Baudelaires weren’t sure how he’d react to Solitude’s pet.

Currently, the Baudelaires were spread out in the living room. Nick and Klaus were trying to read through a book on Emily Dickinson that they’d bought the other day, while Violet and Lilac were going through the newspaper, trying to find something interesting, or some news on the search for Count Olaf. Sunny and Soli, meanwhile, were coloring over the discarded newspaper pages as Babbitt looked for a fly they thought they’d spotted.

“It’s a bit of a mixed bag living here.” Violet said. “I don’t like being in this apartment or having to conform to social norms, but I like being able to go into town.”

“Do you think arranged marriages are ever going to be in?” Nick asked, looking up concernedly. “Cause if Esme tries to marry me off to literally anyone, I’m gonna jump from the window.”

“You’re twelve, Nick, you can’t get married.” Lilac said quietly, trying not to think about how she’d almost been married just a few months ago.

“She seems like the kind of person who’d try to set me up with some rich kid.” Nick said. “And I’m never getting married, not even when I’m older. I’m gonna live alone in the woods, and the only one who can come visit me is Soli.”

“Ihering!” Soli said, which meant something like, “I’ll live with you and we can raise reptiles in the woods!”

“I don’t know what Ihering is,” said Esme, as she walked into the room, Jerome following behind her, “But it doesn’t sound very in.”

Violet quickly stood up, blocking Esme’s view of the corner, where Babbitt had just caught their fly. They quickly hopped back to Solitude, hiding in her pocket.

“Helllo, Baudelaires! How are you doing?” Jerome asked.

“We’re just reading up on Emily Dickinson.” Klaus said.

“Ah, yes. She’s in at the moment, perhaps we could invite her over.” Esme said.

“Emily Dickinson died in 1886.” Nick said.

“Well, that’s no matter.” Esme said. “Children, I came to tell you that I will be very busy. Tomorrow, we will be hosting the In Auction!”

“What’s the In Auction?” Lilac asked, while Nick gave Klaus a disgusted look.

“It is an auction,” Jerome said, “Where everyone gets together and bids on the innest items.”

“I always organize it,” Esme said, “And it’s a smashing event!”

“Smashi?” Sunny asked.

“No, she doesn’t mean we get to smash things.” Violet said quietly.

“It is a fabulous event!” Esme said. “And all the money goes to a good cause!”

“Which good cause?” Lilac asked.

“Me!”  Esme clapped her hands together. “Every last bit of money goes to me! Isn’t that smashing?”

“Actually, dear,” Jerome said, “Don’t you think that this year we could give money to another cause? Like those starving people we read about in the paper.”

“Starving people can’t eat money.” Esme said. “Besides, if we give money to poor people, then they won’t be poor anymore. We’re going to make heaps of money this year. I had lunch with twelve millionaires this morning, and eleven of them are going to attend! The twelfth had a birthday party to attend.”

“This auction sounds like… an interesting event.” Lilac said carefully.

“Oh, Jerome, Gunther’s stopping by tonight, and I need you to take the kids out to dinner.” Esme said. “Can’t have six orphans running around distracting us from our work.”

“Who’s Gunther?” Klaus asked.

“The auctioneer!” Esme replied. “He’s the innest auctioneer in town, and he’s helping me organize! We’re discussing the catalog tonight, and we don’t want to be disturbed.”

“But, darling, I was going to teach the children to play chess tonight.” Jerome said.

“No, no, no.” Esme said. “I already made you a reservation at Cafe Salmonella for seven o’clock. It’s already six o’clock, so you should get moving. Hurry it up, you’ll have to get down the stairs.”

“I didn’t know we were going out tonight.” Klaus said. He and Lilac both shared a dislike of surprise outings, even more than their other siblings.

“Yes, isn’t it delightful?” Esme said. “You all have fun. Tell me all about how in your dinner was!”

“Will do.” Lilac said glumly, picking up Sunny.

Then she turned towards the door and let out a scream. Instantly, Nick leapt to his feet, picking up Solitude and retreating several steps. Klaus let out a gasp and ran to stand by Violet, who pushed him behind her and stared ahead.

Up ahead, Count Olaf had just entered the room.

The kids remained silent, staring in horror at the man. He was in disguise, once again- he wore high, shiny black boots that almost reached his knees, perfect for hiding a tattoo, and over one of his eyes was a monocle. He wore a long pinstripe suit, much like everybody who was in.

“Hello, please!” said Count Olaf. “Esme, are these the children, please, you were telling me about?”

“I- you-” Lilac began.

“Yes, these are the orphans!” Esme said. “Children, Jerome, this is Gunther, our auctioneer.”

“Ah, it is nice to meet you!” Jerome said.

“Please excuse the talking of me.” said Olaf, strutting in and smiling wickedly at the children. “Please, I am not fluent in the English language, please.”

“How…?” Violet asked.

“Where…?” Nick began.

“Bik…” Sunny trailed off.

Lilac recovered first, as Olaf approached her, holding out his hand. “I am happy to meet you, please.”

Lilac recoiled, and snarled, “We’ve met before. Many times before. This man is Count Olaf!”

“I am not understanding, please.” Gunther said. “Please, I am not fluent in the English language, please.”

“Yes, you are!” Kaus said.

“He’s in disguise!” Violet shouted. “And if you just take off his boots-”

“Gunther is the innest auctioneer in town!” Esme said. “I’m not going to make him get undressed just to make you feel better! Apologize to him and go off to dinner.”

“He’s Count Olaf!” Nick said. “Where are the Quagmires? What did you do to them?”

“Esme,” Jerome said, “The children do seem alarmed, maybe we should-”

“Maybe we should listen to me!” Esme said. “I am Esme Gigi Geniveve Squalor-”

She continued ranting about herself, as Jerome listened intently. As he did, Gunther leaned forwards and whispered, “I can’t be Count Olaf, please, because there’s a manhunt for him. I wouldn’t be allowed in, please. And also, if Count Olaf were to be captured, please, what would happen to the poor, poor Quagmires, all alone? Olaf’s the only one who knows where they are, and with him locked up, surely they would starve and die.”

“Whatever you’ve done to them, you’ll regret it.” Lilac hissed.

“What was that, child?” Esme turned around, finally finishing her speech.

“I…” Lilac bit her lip, and then stepped back. “I was just apologizing to Gunther. I see now that he isn’t who I thought he was.”

“Good!” Esme said, clapping. “Now, off to dinner! You don’t want to be late!”

“I’m glad everyone has stopped arguing.” Jerome said. “Children, I know what’ll make you feel better! Why don’t we slide down the bannister!”

The children looked at each other, and Solitude gave Olaf a death glare and muttered, “Fuck you,” thankfully quiet enough that the adults couldn’t hear. Lilac did, though, and she shot Solitude and Nick a glare of her own.

“Alright.” Klaus said. “Thank you, Jerome.”

“I’ll show Gunther the rest of the penthouse, and then we’ll get to work!” Esme cheered. “Ta-ta, children!”

“Ta-ta.” Sunny repeated, unenthusiastically.

Cafe Salmonella was certainly… interesting.

It was located in the Fish District of town, a place that looked, sounded and smelled like fish, due to the fact it was located near the docks of the city and had the scent of the fish that the fishermen hauled in. Cafe Salmonella itself had a theme, and that theme was salmon. The restaurant was colored like a salmon, salmon were painted onto the walls and ceilings, the waiters were dressed in salmon costumes, and every item of food served in the restaurant had something to do with salmon.

“How can they possibly make this much salmon-themed food?” Nick asked, glumly picking at his salmon ice cream. Solitude held out her hands, and he passed it to her; when Jerome looked the other way, she placed it on her lap as a treat for Babbitt.

“It’s apparently very in.” Jerome said.

“Yes. Lots of things are in.” Violet muttered.

“Jerome,” Lilac said quietly, “Do you think there’s something strange about Gunther?”

“Baudelaires,” Jerome said, “I’m surprised at you. Do you know what the word ‘xenophobe’ means?”

“Well, -phobe means ‘afraid of,’” Klaus said, “So I assume it means somebody who is afraid of something. Does ‘xeno’ mean Olaf?”

“No.” Jerome said. “It means stranger or foreigner. A xenophobe is someone who is afraid of people simply because they come from a different country, which is a silly reason to fear someone. I would have thought you three would be far too sensible to be xenophobes.”

“Of course we’re not!” Lilac said.

“Now, I don’t mean to scold you,” Jerome said, “I know you’ve had a very difficult time since your parents’ death, and Esme and I want to do all we can to provide a good, safe home for you. And our neighborhood is very fancy and safe, and if anyone saw Count Olaf, they would alert the authorities immediately.”

“But he was in disguise!” Violet shouted.

“Now, please don’t argue with me.” Jerome said. “I hate to argue.”

“Sometimes it’s useful and necessary to argue.” Lilac said.

“As siblings, we know that very well.” Nick said.

“I can’t think of a single argument that would be useful or necessary,” Jerome said. “For instance, Esme made reservations for us here, and I can’t stand the taste of salmon.”

“Huxley,” said Sunny, meaning, “Maybe if you had argued with her, you could have had a dinner you enjoyed.”

Jerome waved his hand, and their waiter approached. “I’d like to pay the bill. We don’t want the children to be up past their bedtimes.”

The waiter nodded. “I didn’t realize this was a sad occasion.”

Jerome blinked. “Why, of course it’s not.”

“Did you say-?” Lilac began.

The waiter didn’t pay attention to her, instead handing the bill to Jerome and moving away.

As they reached 667 Dark Avenue, the doorman let them in, saying, “Be careful in the lobby. Ocean decorating is in now, so it’s being repainted.”

“Oh, I wish we’d’ve known that.” Jerome said. “We could’ve brought you something from the fish district.”

“Snake?” Solitude asked, peering into the lobby. But as they walked in, they saw no reptile decorations- not even alligators or crocodiles. Solitude huffed and leaned against Nick.

“Has Gunther left?” Lilac asked the doorman.

He shook his head. “I haven’t seen anyone by the name of Gunther.”

“Have you seen anyone by the name of Count Olaf?” Nick asked. The doorman once again shook his head.

The children then headed up the long stairs, passing around Sunny and Solitude as they climbed with Jerome. When they reached the top of the penthouse, they saw Esme waiting for them, leaning against the door.

“Ah! You’re all back! Splendid! I thought I heard you coming!” said Esme. “Children, go to bed, and I’ll tell Jerome all about the In Auction we planned!”

“Is Gunther still here?” Violet asked nervously.

“Oh, no. He left a while ago.” Esme said.

“But the doorman-” Nick began.

“Don’t argue with me.” Esme said. “Off to bed.”

The Baudelaires hesitantly glanced towards each other, and then nodded.

They agreed to go to bed, but they were not planning on sleeping much.