#CURRENTLY LISTENING THROUGH THEM RN AND GOD THEY CAN ALL SING

[lamina-tsrif]

girl help my brain is boku wa doctor

[kibbits]

Time to share some Starry lore because I’ve got a cute scene in mind. I love to vocal stim, sounds, phrases, but particularly songs. I’ll hear a song that feels just right and I’ll sit and chew it for hours til my throat’s sore. Currently favorite is The Valentine in Starfield (Is it still a sea shanty if it’s in space?). The reason I bring this fun fact up is because I can just see myself sitting for hours stimming with boys over new songs. Especially if it’s any new pieces for the theater. While the scripts and lyrics are predesigned by Fazbear, there’s something unquestionably their’s in performance that make it worth repeating. Worth remembering. Humming through daily tasks. Parroting their tone, their voice. Another sign of their existence that’s more then the capacity to destroy, then just simple property… They do end up being slightly upset when the Glamrocks try to introduce their songs to stimming sessions. (Sun/Moon: “That’s my human bonding time :(“ Monty: “Get cooler song selections then Sock and Buskin.” Freddy: “Pls do not misuse google search privileges to make insults.”)

- ✨Starry✨

Starry, hi!!! <33

!!!! HELL yes I echo songs a lot too!!!!

Unfortunately often 1-3 lines on repeat fgklgjkldfjg currently it's Villainous Thing, but I keep mixing "Let me see those smoky eyes" and "Let's remove those pretty clothes" and I end up singing "Oh dear, let's remove those smoky eyes" which. not the same fgkldjl

STARRY?! HELLO?! YOU REALLY GOT ME TEARING UP OVER THAT DESCRIPTION AAAA?!?! Also ABSOLUTELY -- for both the stimming, and making the songs their own.

God I'm imagining it so hard.

Eyndr suggested I draw a 'Y/N repairing the coat' last magma, and I haven't posted it cause I never got done, but yknow what? You get a WIP sketch fgkldgj Imagine they're singing

(Goose by Eyndr! Sun is stimming with a ribbon, like I do, except that I like to wrap it around the pads of my fingers, but he doesn't have those, so he has the bad habit of letting it run between his finger casings. Also I wanted a domestic vibe for this and also thought it'd be hilarious to have 'fanservice' with Sun being shirtless. Also, a more masculine Y/N! First beard I've drawn I think???)

One of the three absentmindedly starts a song and the others join in almost immediately. Unless it's a headache day, the backstage is never silent between those three, there's always a bit of humming or singing or even just echolalia.

Which. Mood. I always immediately and absentmindedly want to join in on sounds or singing in vc -- which. being in vc at all, and talking?? is a new development for me fgjdgkl but my god it's nice to be vibing and singing with a friend while doodling -- shout out to my bestie @eyndr ! I love hanging out for games or project days so much aa One day discord and spotify won't make us sing rounds/canons fghdj

ALSO HELLO YES SPACE SHANTIES?!?!!? TWO OF MY FAVORITE THINGS LET'S GO I'M LEAVING RN TO GO LISTEN BRB

Ough that's nice!!! I loved it! ; w ; Ehehe, I tend to have work songs/sea shanties days where that's all I listen to, so I getcha and good choice! > :3 Haven't played that game, but I do play No Man's Sky and I wish there was random space shanty singers to find waugh!

Also now I'm totally imagining a Faz Space Opera yeeesss 👀👀👀

Back to BaL! Sometimes, for fun, all 3 purposefully mess with the cadence or pitch, either to make each other laugh or just to get creative or because it sounds nice, and they end up liking something and it's like "!!!!"

When they sing that version later, it feels like theirs -- like it's those moments spent together. Proof of their existence and how it affects the world around them positively. Reminders that they're loved, and they love (in a cosmic kind of way, but also it's a self insert so fuck it we BaLl (aaaay finally used the joke @lavenoon fgjdfklgjld).

Also yeee I can see them being really, ACTUALLY insulted when one of the animatronics, who doesn't know because those little sing-stimming sessions are private with Y/N, jokes about how those songs are lame and they should be singing some of theirs instead because they're catchier. Oof

Which, just now, made me realize that BaL Sun's anger runs cold, so he just goes totally silent, straightens up and get that intense stare. Maybe Moon's even the one who talks through the speaker to deflect and does that overly-sweet anger of like "Catchy, huh? Hopefully we don't catch those inflated egos of yours -- there's barely enough space for all of us and your big heads as it is! We'll come back later~!" to excuse themselves (and then prank them to hell and back of course! But there's no proof : )) ) (ALSO OH MY GOD SOCK AND BUSKIN THAT'S FUCKING GOLD. THAT'S SO CANON NOW AND THE BOYS THINK IT'S HILARIOUS)

Back to the singing, I think that another thing that they do especially well is that they can sing at the same time, so even for solos they can add back vocals to each other, or play around with the pitch since they do-and-don't share a processor and can adapt in microseconds -- wait actually they can definitely sing rounds, too!!

Oh my god now I'm imagining them singing rounds with vastly different moods at the same time, perfectly calibrated so that both of them come out loud and clear and also enhance each other's -- lining up or losing one of their voices at just the right moment to be chilling. It's like you're getting the song and the reprise but both at once

Thanks for the ask Starry!!! Always excited to see you in my inbox <33 And I'm going to be rotating this in my mind for a WHILE fkljdgjkld

[rowan-guerrins]

9 fandom peeps to get to know better:

thanks @dragonagelesbian for tagging me! i am so eept rn so i have,,,, no idea how coherent this’ll be lol

3 ships you like: gigolas (gimli and legolas; i refuse to use any ship name other than the most ridiculous one lmao) (they invented love methinks); nerdanel x fëanor (their love and epic divorce compel me… rotating them in my brain like The Cube); and bagginshield (idiots 🫶). i like (love, even) many ships akfkskf but right now im in my tolkien era (again.) so uhhh yeah. all tolkien ships here. shoutout to dinkus tho.

first ship ever: literally aragorn and arwen. i was obsessed with them and wanted them to be my parents. in after-school daycare i would sit in front of a whiteboard and draw a big ole castle and draw out my elaborate fantasy role play i had w a friend in which i WAS their child. this brainrot has been with me for as long as i can remember i inherited it i will live forever with it. incurable disease (liking tolkien) haver.

last song you heard: squints. well earlier i was SINGING many songs from the broadway beauty and the beast musical but that was acapella so that doesn’t count. it’s uhh. (opens spotify). well i’m halfway through doom days by bastille (doom days by bastille my beloved). so that. (unless you do count what i was singing for some reason. in which case. uhhhh. if i can’t love her. THEE beauty and the beast song of all time. helloooooo is this thing on do you hear me? do you understand? it’s the musical song of all time to me actually. it’s so good. listen to it. evermore wants what she has.)

favorite childhood book: uhhh so i only remember really early childhood and later childhood. i know i had other favorites between like 5-8 or so. but you’re getting what i can remember ajdjwjd. as a YOUNG kid i loved “goodnight moon”. the kids book of all time. and in later childhood, outside of my obsession with the warrior cats franchise (a given), i really loved the inheritance cycle books. i need to reread them so bad SO BAD. also i need to get the illustrated edition of eragon. shakes.

currently reading: “the fellowship of the ring”. don’t look atme. don’t— look. look. when i said it’s my tolkien girlie era again. well. yeah. anyway. i am. 97-98% thru it so probably it will change to two towers. also TECHNICALLY. i am still. technically. reading “carmilla” (she’s somewhere in my room but i don’t know where oops). and also. technically. “the silmarillion” (LOOK.), because i need to actually read it all the way thru for once and not just skip to the bits about my favoritest worst guys alive who are hated by god and also do war crimes but they’re funny. so it’s. look. it. it’s okay. hey look at me. the murder is not a big deal. it’s all so catholic here. i’m more worried about that.

currently watching: stares into the distance. it’s been so long since i’ve watched anything. at least TV/movie-wise. i watch a simmer’s streams and youtube vids is that anything? no…. naur…. i think the last. thing i watched was. uh. an episode of ATLA.

currently consuming: BALDURS GATE THREE. i am obsessed w my tav rn. i restarted my playthru bc i wanted to good recruit minthara bc i feel like she’d have a crunchy dynamic w my tav, lleuad. somehow less crunchy than i expected but we just got her so who’s to say. anyway. shakking,,,, look at Them. (talking to one of the besties.)

currently craving: japanese curry……… mmmm. with. chicken katsu. yeag

tagging: open tag bc actual tagging always gives me anxiety lmao. if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged!

[void-and-virtue]

First off, thank you for tagging me @moondal514 . This looks fun! It’s insane to me that anyone would consider me a mutual but I’m happy about it sksksks

currently reading: Nothing in particular? There’s a bunch of books I want to read but my brain is SO not on board with me branching out in the book direction rn. I did finally cave and read Son Nefes in full yesterday, even if that is only book-adjacent (It’s really good. If you’re an AFTG fan and haven’t read it, you should. Even if you technically already know all it says from various posts floating around).

Fic wise, it’s whatever @jtl-fics has going on with Fluent Freshman. It’s just prime comedy complete with memes, 11/10.

favorite color: Midnight Blue. I will sing my love for it from the rooftops.

last song: Take Me Back To Eden by Sleep Token. I’m frothing at the mouth about the entire album, but the title song in particular is rotating in my mind like a rotisserie chicken.

last show: I haven’t watched anything in so long I literally can’t remember. @statistical-improbabilities my beloved is trying to bully me into Shadow and Bone and The Good Place and I’ve had my eye on The Legend Of Vox Machina since it came out so my next pick is most likely gonna be one of those.

currently watching: YouTube. If anything, it’s YouTube. I cycle through video essays, Hollow Knight content, Critical Role VODs and the YouTube channel of the animal guy from TikTok like nobody’s business

last movie: Probably my nth rewatch of Howl’s Moving Castle about a year ago (oh god, what is time?) I really wanna go see Across The Spiderverse—the first movie was SO GOOD. Also, Everything Everywhere All At Once when I get around to it (can you tell how I’m always late to trends?)

sweet/spicy/savory: People here expect me to CHOOSE??

currently working on: My beloved monster child of a WIP that is shaping up to be absolutely MASSIVE. It’s an Andreil soulmate AU with telepathy because I am forever true to my brand of ‘what does it do to a person if they have mental superpowers, would that be fucked up or what?’. I passed 110k on this yesterday. It’s still potentially less than half the story. Save me.

current obsession: Take Me Back To Eden by Sleep Token. Ooooh my god. I started listening into this album a couple days ago but sat down today to listen to the entire thing in its proper intended order and. I have ascended into a whole other plane of existence. I am experiencing emotions in colors previously only known to mantis shrimp. I can see my Spotify Wrapped of this year going completely down the drain as this album becomes the only thing I listen to for the entire rest of the year, on repeat. I wish this was an exaggeration. I am dead serious. Sorry to my friends on discord who will be subjected to my lethal case of Not Shutting The Fuck Up About It for the next while <3

6 mutuals: I have no idea at which point following a blog makes that person become a mutual. All I know is that @statistical-improbabilities @i-think-i-lost-my-phone and @swamp-world are legally obliged to put up with my bullshit. @dumbenby I’m roping you into this too <3

Anyone who sees this and feels like doing it (or sees it and wonders why the hell I didn’t tag them because we’re obviously mutuals (I’m sorry)), feel free to take this as your invitation to go ahead and/or yell at me <3

[outofcontexturi]

sun 2nd oct 2022 journal

im sick. i think i have a cold. my right nose is blocked and my throat is dry. im going to get better but it is annoying to have a blocked nose. currently drinking some sort of lemsip. I started my actor cv. gonna finish it by the end of the week. but im gonna send my headshots off tomorrow. i keep attracting people into my day to day life. im caring less about what people think of me regardless of whether im sober or not. i’ve come down from my high rn but im in a good mood right now. these past couple of days has been good/ with a stroke of luck on my side. i swear yesterday could’ve gone so left for me but i listened to myself and God and it worked for me. thats how i know God has better plans for me. alfayd ansd issac were smoking near alfayds house and a police car pulled over to check what was happening and then kept it pushing but before all of that happened a part of me was like ‘DONT SMOKE NON OF THAT URI”. i genuinely think that if i had done so i would’ve been arrested. well all of us would’ve. God genuinely has my back. I love myself. I think i live a cool life. and i feel rich and famous. i feel it. i carry myself like someone who is. I also met two ladies Barbara and Sally on the DLR. its so crazy cause i forgot my airpods on my way to rehearsals yesterday and was irritated but on my way home i met these lovely ladies and we spoke about life and shit. they were so kind and conversational. they made my journey so worth it. God bless them. i was high af when i was speaking to them and bless them they thought i was tired haha but tbf i was tired from yesterdays rehearsals but still i was high lmao. its currently 11pm. rehearsals with karoline tomorrow. something new. excited to see what happens. im also building what i would like to call “showcase stamina” cause these rehearsals take a lot out of you and just the social aspect of things can be difficult but i would like to think im handling things pretty well. i had some visions of meeting doja cat and chloe bailey and all these beautiful women and being close with them. It’ll happen. thats my calling. i’m meant to be around stars and beautiful things and beautiful people. I’m creating the life i want. I believe i am a star. because i am. i just am. I attract the right people. i’m great at conversation. i’m handsome. i can act. i can sing. i can entertain. if i wasn’t meant to be doing this i would’ve given up already but nah im seeing this whole thing through to the fucking end and i will see everything i set out for. EVERYTHING. I WANT WILL. BE. MINE. EVERYTHING. I am a light to people. i attract beautiful women. people want to know me for me. i get money. im paid. i’m working. life is good. God loves me. my family love me. people love me. i feel like the person i want to be. i am the person i want to be. God bless me. end time: 23:08pm.

[flufflepuffle296]

Heathers au: Beautiful Songfic

This is more centred around Veronica/Marinette so not really any mentions of Heather/Heather/Heather. Sorry if someone’s done this before I apologise I just got into Heathers like two days ago. Also I changed some lyrics and took others out to make it more “realistic”. Sorry I suck at endings, it’s 5:30am rn and this is my first fic so be nice please! (I’m on mobile so I can’t add the keep reading tag so sorry if you don’t like this) xxx

I brushed down my dress: I couldn’t give them anything to criticise me over. Everything had to be perfect. I had to be perfect. Chloé sat next to me, my beautiful fiancée, slipping on her kitten heels. She may be 3 months pregnant but no Bourgeois woman would be seen wearing flats. I was in a red floor length a line dress — I grew out of my childish pink years ago, before it even went out of fashion! My hair was twisted into two plaits that were knotted together into a stylish bun at the back. Chloé meanwhile had stuck to her white and gold aesthetic, currently in a slim fitting white dress, showing off her small baby bump, decorated with gold jewellery. I rummaged through my drawers, trying to find a lipstick, when a thin book toppled out. I picked it up, and laughed fondly when I saw what it was.

My old Collège and Lycée diary.

I flipped through it, landing on the page that stuck most clearly in my mind. It was the day my class reminded me of my current reality at that time, shocking me out of a bubble that had surrounded me during the summer holidays that year.

September 1st, 1989.

Dear Diary: I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think that there's good in everyone, but—here we are! First day of senior year!

And uh... I look around at these kids that I've known all my life and I ask myself—what happened?

I bit my lip. What happened? I knew darn well what happened. Lila Rossi. She came in, flaunting her friendships and connections, a new disability every other week to cry about, another rumour about me coming out every 3 days.

Alya ended our friendship, Adrien continued to cry about Lila’s feelings. Lila just kept doing what she did best. The class gave up on changing my mind and instead decided that calling me names would be better. Because logic?!

“Freak!” “Slut!” “Burnout!” “Bug-eyes!” “Poser!” “Lard-ass!” Were the insults they liked to yell daily. Yeah, they weren’t the most creative...

We were so tiny, happy and shiny. Playing tag and getting chased. Singing and clapping, laughing and napping. Baking cookies, eating paste.

Nino and Kim used to come over to the bakery when we were kids, where we’d gorge ourselves on sweets, before celebrating our sugar rushes by chasing each other in the park and then crashing on my sofa, cuddled in blankets and laying on top of each other.

Then we got bigger, that was the trigger. Like the Huns invading Rome. Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school: This is the Thunderdome. Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon. College will be paradise, if I'm not dead by June!

But I know, I know, life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray for a better way. If we changed back then, we could change again. We can be beautiful...Just not today.

I scoffed at my optimism back then. Them changing? They never did, I don’t know why I bothered trying at that point. I should’ve moved on but hey! We all make mistakes. It’s just that sometimes you make 11 friendships worth of mistakes.

“Freak!” “Slut!” “Cripple!” “Homo!” “Homo!” “Homo!”

I cringed as I read their old “insults”. They would write homophobic messages across my locker, getting Alix to spray paint a few slurs across my work after I came out as bisexual.

Things will get better soon as my letter comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown. Wake from this coma, take my diploma. Then I can blow this town. Dream of ivy-covered walls, no smoky French cafés. Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!

I had purposefully sent out applications to universities far away from these people, from Paris. All three schools accepted me, something I can’t say about my classmates, most of whom were rejected for essays on false information (sourced by Lila) and a quick scan over the Ladyblog meant not a single newspaper would even consider my ex-best friend. Gabriel Agreste, as I later found out through my internship in America, had to bribe several schools with double tuition to get even one to accept Adrien, after he got exposed as sexual harasser and disgraced hero “Chat Noir”. I turned back to my diary, having to peel off rock hard gum from the page that someone had smeared in “revenge”.

Le Chiên Kim. Third year as linebacker and eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick.

“What did you say to me, skank?” He would yell, his fist raised in the hallway.

“Aah, nothing!” I then cowered. I may be Ladybug, but he was 150lbs of pure rage. No one can compete with that!

But I know, I know... Life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray, For a better way. We can be beautiful...

“Marinette! Wide load! Honnnnnk!”

He was the smartest guy on the football team. Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf.

“Hey! Pick that up! Right now!”

“I’m sorry, are you actually talking to me?” He used to snarl, his hands covered in sauce from knocking my tray.

I stood my ground, I had been practising for this moment. “Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on me. You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant.”

Kim then smirked, crouching down to eye level and pressing a finger to my forehead. “You have a zit right there...” he pointed out, causing the cafeteria to laugh at my expense.

I used to ask myself “Why... Why do they hate me?”

And hear Adrien whisper “Why don't I fight back?”

Watch as Max Googled “Why do I act like such a creep?”

Listen in on Lila stamping her feet in the bathroom asking “Why won't he date me?” Clearly frustrated.

Kim panicking as he wondered “Why did I hit him?”

And Chloé sob down the phone “Why do I cry myself to sleep?”

I would stay up late, screaming, begging. At my lowest points I would cry out “Somebody hug me! Somebody fix me! Somebody save me! Send me a sign, God! Give me some hope, here! Something to live for!”

I remember when I first met my real friends. The famed trio had gone into the bathroom and I followed after them, clearly my throat.

“Who are you?”

“Uh... Marinette Dupain Cheng. I crave a boon”

“What boon?” Chloé asked, filing her nails.

“Um. Let me sit at your table, at lunch. If our class think that you guys tolerate me, then they'll leave me alone...”

Chloé threw her nail file out and began circling around me, running her hands through my hair, commenting that “For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure!” Before coming to a conclusion.

“And ya know, ya know, ya know? This could be beautiful. Mascara, maybe some lip gloss, and we're on our way. Get this girl some blush; and Kagami, I need your brush. Let's make her beautiful.” Sabrina and Kagami, chimed in, echoing her words.

“Let's make her beautiful...”

“Let’s make her beautiful...”

“Make her beautiful...Okay?” Chloé ordered, dragging me out with Kagami and Sabrina, driving me to her hotel. They sat me down, taking my hair out of its bunches and brushing it out. Kagami painted my nails a deep navy with surprising precision, manning my cuticles. Sabrina twirled my hair into a high bun, leaving a few pieces at the front to frame my face. Chloé came back from her wardrobe, throwing a blue blazer and grey skirt at me. I changed into my outfit for them, to which they clapped their hands in glee. They dragged me back to school, taking in everyone’s reactions to the new and improved me. This became my new daily outfit for the rest of the year — the class couldn’t find anything bad about it, and even if they did Chloé would threaten them with her father’s power.

I was happy with my squad. Kagami taught us Japanese and Chloé taught us American English that she’d picked up from her mother. I taught them self defence, under the guise of learning it from my mum, unknowingly training them for the day I would rip Chat Noir’s miraculous from him, before slamming it into Kagami’s palm. I needed help that day, so thrust them bee and the fox miraculous at Chloé and Sabrina respectively. They became permanent heroes, Kagami under the name “Noirette”, Chloé under the new guise of “Buttercup” and Sabrina “Renard Rouge”. Akuma attacks have never lasted more than 15 minutes since we got rid of that alley cat, and we’ve been closing in on Hawkmoth recently.

I shook my head, snapping the crude book shut, throwing the diary in the bin. Today was going to be the day I made peace with all that happened, our 10 year school reunion. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna make up with anyone, just that I will finally leave everything behind. I found my lipstick and smeared on the crimson lip, smacking my lips together. I grabbed my clutch and helped Chloé stand up, though she wobbled a little in her heels. I slid her miraculous into her updo, blowing a kiss at her as to not ruin her makeup.

We met up with Kagami and Sabrina in the hallway, Kagami in a wine red suit with gold jewellery, and Sabrina was in emerald green to compliment her red hair. We stepped into the limo awaiting us outside and set off, arriving at the school 10 minutes later. We walked up the steps, hitching up our dresses and arrived in the courtyard. It had been lit up with fairy lights, with stands of food and drinks scattered around the court. Our old classmates were huddled in small groups, whilst Mlle. Mendeleiev’s was in a large group, enjoying each other’s company after 10 years apart.

No one noticed us, until Rose pointed at me and whispered “Who’s that with Chloé?” The group turned to stare at us, trying to place my face. Adrien looked up from talking to Lila, who seemed to be flaunting a rather tacky Gabriel engagement ring, and whispered,

“Marinette?!”

The class began gossiping amongst themselves, “Marinette? Marinette? Marinette?!”

I ignored them, their childish ways were behind me, and walked up to Aurore and Mireille, fawning over their relationship. They turned Kagami, asking her about her life and squealing over her Olympic medal for fencing. I grinned as I watched my old class, happy that they had moved on from each other — well apart from Alya and Adrien, who were still hooked on Lila. I was finally, content! I thought back on my diary, one particular paragraph standing out to me at this time.

And you know, you know, you know, life can be beautiful. You hope, you dream, you pray, and you get your way! Ask me how it feels, lookin' like hell on wheels...My God, it's beautiful! I feel so beautiful... And when you're beautiful...It's a beautiful frickin' day!

Chloé boasted my achievements, my business, my awards, and the entire of Mendeleiev’s class started chanting “Marinette! Marinette! Marinette!”, much to my embarrassment. I boasted her’s in return, Sabrina revealed how far she’d come as a lawyer, Kagami swung her prized sword from side to side as she listened to us all catching up, laughing at the memories.

It really was a beautiful day.

[jasperwhitcock]

the rules: tag five or more people that you are thankful for in your 2020, that you're thankful exists in a world that's hard to live in. whether that be through random reblogs on your posts, or people you have had full blown conversations with. whether it's just seeing them in your dash, or interacting with them.

here to be gross again & catch up on another tag game *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

tagged by the angel that is kate @leahclearwaterdefensesquad

i love talking to u all everyday hehehe y’all saved my 2020

@inthemiddleofmymidnight i love u sm kimmie. my first friend on here. 🥺 i am giggling thinking of how shy we were... can u believe we’ve been bffs for like ten months... how is that possible?? i’ve literally already poured my heart out to u like 5 times this month so imma just keep it as ilysm. u literally bring me joy

@bellaskhakis neighana 🐎 ilysm!! i love having u in my life. it’s like we’ve been friends forever. i’m lucky to have u to always keep me humble 😩 hehe i’m kidding but also to give me advice or just to listen or be there. ur wonderful & i can’t imagine this year without u

@the-golden-onion mads... ew i’m laughing at myself... the way literally every speech i’m making sounds like the most basic speech made at a wedding... i’m being SINCERE here it’s not my fault i love all of u 😭 ok but mads i ADORE u. u keep saying how we’re a light in ur life but ur for real a light in our lives. i love having someone i have so much in common w that i can freak out abt acnh or pll or harry potter or twilight or mythical creatures or cute animals or writing fanfics or WHATEVER. my life is sooo much better w u in it. i’m obsessed w u

@howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen emma EWWW not me TEARING up ew make it STOP! emma thank u sm for the absolutely like relentless positivity and love and support u give all of us. the way u choose kindness and optimism is literally inspiring. ur the most caring, sincere, sweetest person in the world & all of our lives are severely improved having u around. ur like our sister

@bellasredchevy kae i admire u SO much. i eat up anything u post or anything u say... ik i’ve said it before and i think it sounds like mega cheesy but i think u just carry urself w such grace & wisdom (im embarrassed to say this when like our relationship is founded on a mutual love of TWILIGHT like tf sdhfdjfhfj) but i rlly just think ur so smart and compassionate and so u have the BEST takes & it really reflects on how u view the world and i just appreciate the expectations u have for how people treat each other (again this sounds SOO weird LMAO) i love u ur literally a part of the reason i joined the renaissance

@teamjacobthot dij i love the energy u bring into my life. ur always honest and blunt and hilarious and understanding and i feel like u just see things for what they are which is refreshing considering i’m someone who overcomplicates things. ur so beautiful & talented & just the coolest. i just thought abt u saying “is this let it go” like 2 minutes into frozen and i’m dead 😭 ilysm and also keep forgetting to tell u but jesy leaving has plunged me right back into another little mix lewis and i am sooooo sad

@cullen-collective ok i just had a moment of panic bc thinking abt u singing reminded me that the ratatouille musical is STREAMING RN LIVE AND I FORGOT but anyways. kaity i keep saying it but ur voice has BLESSED our lives. grateful for all the beautiful singing snaps & also the snaps where ur just telling stories bc i love listening to u talk hehehe. ur the sweetest and so funny & i love ur passion

@paulxlahotee i LOOOOVE u i’m so obsessed w ur TALENT & i admire u soooo much. ur literal JOY and i am so happy that the four l*ko did not make u d word... at least i hope so... has anybody heard from michele today??? she still w us? 😩 ur beautiful and hilarious i’m so lucky to know u!!!

@kaquiche taryn ILYSM ur literally the first person i remember interacting w my blog... it’s been u & me from the beginning baby 😩 u make me laugh so much and i love that ur always down to clown. ur just so supportive and silly and cute and i love u ok all of my messages are sounding like i am dr*nk i just love y’all ok leave me alone. also i didn't even see ur message abt zoom last night and now i feel sad that we all abandoned u. i spent my near year w u in spirit

@phil-dwyer-stan-account addison my dream in life is literally to hang out w u and go to the hello kitty cafe and disneyland and to skip in a big field of wildflowers in cute dresses. i love u!!! ur a cute sweet hardworking angel who deserves soooo much!!

@volturialice g once again... i am truly ur FAN i’m a volturialice STAN. ur one of my absolute FAVE blogs. i think ur genius & feel ~honored~ to be friends hehehe

@anagonyeet / @sethrights ama i love u so much i’m truly so grateful we became friends!! i’m so happy we’ve kept contact bc ur the sweetest, most supportive, and caring friend. i can’t believe u show up to support all my endeavors sdfhdghjkf. my fave follower on my animal crossing ig account hehehe

@leahclearwaterdefensesquad kate thank u for the tag!! ur so wonderful & i so appreciate all the leah content & that u think of me so often for tag games!! ily

and a thank u & i love u to all the blogs that are sweet friends of mine or post content i love & admire – @kellythepitiablefangirl (ur so talented... i adore ur art) @iknowyouloveme-thanks (u consistently make me laugh w ur posts) @renegadepack (thank u for the wolf pack content & also ur resource post... i’ve linked it a million times) @edwardsvirginity (another blog that made me join the renaissance bc i loved their posts) @edytheelizabethcullen (the SWEETEST angel ilysm) @rosaalee (ur moodboards are everything) @bellas-dumptruck-ass (funny & lovely & the best url) @emmettmc-heart-y (the KINDEST soul) @carllisle (happy every time i see ur url in my noties) @notquitetwilight (current god of the renaissance) @panlight (the funniest... thankful for keeping up w the cullens every day) @cockmcstuffins (the most iconic) @influenzabella (an absolute cutie) @witchyangela (elle is also an angel who provides the wolfpack content that we need) @angelasglasses (a sweetheart)

& all my moots!! i wish u all the happiest 2021 ♡♡♡

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #454

“last thing i remember, i was running for the door  /  i had to find the passage back to the place i was before”

Last thing you bought online? Did you like it? I have no clue. Could you date someone who didn’t drive (and didn’t show an interest in ever getting their license, either)? I don't know. Public transportation isn't a big thing here at all, and even whenever I get my license, my partner needing to get somewhere while I'm needed elsewhere could be problematic. I think it would also depend on why they don't want their license. Like if they had a traumatic wreck, I couldn't blame them. How would you react if your artwork became famous? That'd be fucking amazing. Would you get your nipples pierced? I've briefly considered it. I ultimately wouldn't, though. How many people know your birthday? Without the assistance of Facebook, a few, I guess. My immediate family, Sara, uhhhh... Has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship you were in? Yes, and it worked. For the better, though. He had a bad reputation. Have you ever watched a whole hour long infomercial? Ha, yes, this one time with Girt. It was a vacuum infomercial. We were just really bored at my place and... okay, I have no justification for watching that whole thing lmao. What is your current MySpace song? I still remember it was "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Beddingfield lmaooo. What is your favorite kind of meat to put on your sandwich? Ham. Which one of your exes do you feel like you have the most chemistry with? Sara or Jason, idk. How do you feel about people who make Facebook profiles for their pets? I don't care. Have you ever personally known a pair of conjoined twins? No. What was the most disturbing thing you have ever heard your mother say? Mom and my older sister got in a fight once and Mom yelled that she was a slut. I don't know why, but... it never left me, and I GUARANTEE it never left Ashley (who is not a "slut," by the way). This was when she was a teenager, so it's been many years and I can absolutely promise you Mom regrets it, big time. I don't even have to ask. Is there something in particular you like to look at photos of? What is it? Mark and meerkats, ha ha. Chewy chocolate-chip cookies: like or dislike? Chewy is the way to GO. If your boyfriend/girlfriend wanted to dress only in the opposite sex’s clothing, would you support that? If not, would you leave them? I wouldn't care. I'm pansexual, anyway. Anyone can be attractive to either gender's clothes to me. I think assigning clothes to a specific gender is dumb, anyway. Do you think your grandmother is/was beautiful? I only remember how my maternal grandmother looked, and yeah, she was a pretty lady. Which of your fields of interest are you a total expert on? Mark, ha ha. I know way too much on a person I've never met. When was the last time you got all dolled up? Not since last October when I did a witchy Halloween shoot with friends. Do you ever name objects? (i.e. mp3 players, guitars, cars, etc.) No. Do you have a criminal record? No. Last person you took a nap with? Sara, years ago. Well, unless you count my cat. He always comes running when he hears me getting comfy in bed, ha ha. Does seeing your mother cry automatically make you feel sad as well? Yes, and angry because I want to stop whatever it is making her cry, but I usually can't. Do you think someone likes the same person you like? I have no idea. Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever? God no. Have you ever been to craigslist.com? Yes; I've adopted and rehomed pets from there. What about eBay? Mom's bought stuff from there. Have you ever used Nair? Yes, on my legs. It's just as exhausting as shaving with how thick my hair is. Are you medicated? I think I'm on too much medication, personally. I want to try weaning off my OCD prescription, because I haven't had problems in a long time, but my psychiatrist doesn't want to? Which is odd to me because when I came to him, he was stunned by how many different meds I was on. He's concerned that the symptoms will just re-emerge, but like... I've beaten OCD before, for many years. I can do it again. I trust him with my life though, because he saved it, so I just go with what he says, honestly. Do you shape/fill in your eyebrows? No. Have you ever stolen/borrowed clothes from an ex? I've worn Jason's pajama pants before because I found men's pj pants more comfortable, and besides, sometimes I spent the night when I didn't plan to and needed something more comfortable than jeans. Could you make a statement about anything political? Texas' new "heartbeat bill" is fucking bullshit and is going to get so many women killed from DIY abortions. Do you think you’ve already met your soulmate? I don't believe in soulmates, but I do believe I met the person I loved more than I could ever possibly love somebody else again. Do you get the feeling something good will happen in your life soon? Fuck if I know. Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche? Yes. Have you been to McDonald’s in the past month? Yes. Have you ever slept over at your best friend’s house? I have. How often do you go bowling? Very, very rarely. I haven't been since I was on a date at the end of 2017, I wanna say??? Or was it '18??? Last time you were in an apartment? Not since Colleen still lived in one and I was visiting her. Have you ever seen a live seahorse? Yeah, in aquariums. Would you like to have your own yacht? I mean I wouldn't say no if you offered it to me for free, but I'm not exactly interested in one. I'd probably just give it to my dad. He'd be on Cloud 9. Winnie the Pooh or Tigger? Pooh! :^) What’s the unhealthiest thing you’ve eaten today? A brownie with caramel drizzle. Mom bought a box of them to split between Ash and her family and us, so I had one. :x Thankfully though she gave more to Ash, because I don't like having treats in the house for my weight's sake, but a little something sweet occasionally keeps you sane when you're trying to lose weight. Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink? Ew, no. What is something you’d be happy to receive as a gift, that doesn’t cost a lot? I'd really appreciate something hand-made, like a drawing or something. What kind of music does your significant other/crush like to listen to? He likes mostly the same stuff as me, but also more indie-ish stuff than me. Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what colour his/her eyes were? Jason. His eyes are brown. Are there any themes from TV shows that you like to sing along to? Supernatural. It's inevitable that I'll sing, ha ha. Do you eat dessert after dinner? Very, very rarely. Have you ever had too much to drink and felt embarrassed about your behavior the next day? No. When you go out drinking, what do you prefer to drink? I don't go out drinking, but if I was to order a drink right now, I'd go for a sangria. That sounds soooo good rn. What was the last animal that you saw? My cat. Venus is in her hide as I'm answering this, so I can't see her. What was the last thing that you said to one of your siblings? I told Nicole bye when she was leaving the other day. What is the most expensive thing that you’ve purchased that you paid for: My snake. What is your favorite messaging program? Discord, nowadays. Do you eat fast food more than 5 times a week? Yikes, no. Have you ever almost drowned? No. Have you ever learned something shocking about someone through Facebook? It wasn't shocking in a bad way, just very unexpected. One of my friends has been an egg donor twice, I wanna say? What’s the scariest living animal that you’ve petted? I have no clue. Nothing that dangerous. Well wait, I shared the story of holding a tarantula before, and I was still kinda nervous to do so when I did. She was a total sweetie, though. Do you remember the first conversation you ever had with the person you currently have feelings for? I actually don't. Other than he got my attention with "lip ring girl," lmao. Do you dread certain days of the week? If yes, what day/s and why? No, because they're all the same to me. If you eat oatmeal, do you have it plain or do you have certain toppings that you like to add to it? I add a bit of sugar. What is the funniest or strangest thing you’ve ever heard somebody say in their sleep? *shrug* Choose one - Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: Milky Way, 100%. Do you use Mozilla Firefox? No, I use Chrome. Who is your favorite person to hug? Sara. Have you ever had to have a mug shot? No. What was the last thing you carried to your room? Water. When was the last time you had a late night phone call? Damn dude, I couldn't possibly tell ya.

[cullxtheherd]

Long(-ish) time listener, first-time caller here - just wanted to say that I really love your take on Jacob, and that your taste in music is A+! Also, I come offering a few songs that I think have big Jacob vibes - "Unsainted" by Slipknot, "The Heresy" by Mushroomhead, and "Feed the Machine" by Nickelback (just trust me).

hglkghjl oh my god hi!!! how are you?? first of all thank you what the heck skjhdndkf you are absolutely too nice sjdhsdjskdf but i am glad you enjoy my stupid shit™

and i am gonna dive into these songs rn.

yes but i would like to counter with this slipknot tune [x] and also this one cause i kinda forgot about them and now im scREam? [x] GLLHKGLLHBKGLHKGLKL

holy shit yeah i love mushroomhead but it's been yEARS since i properly listened to them- like?? since you had to buy the dvd to see the music videos cauce mf TV would not play them skjdskjsk i did not even know they had new content out?? tbh ksjfkdfjdkj?? but alsoo [x] and [x] anddd its taking me aGES to answer this cause im on a trip through songs of my younger years and like THANK you!!!! i am having so much fun skjfdkdjf

oh. my god okay. it's. it is. it. has taken everything in me to type nickelback into my youtube search bar. i'm really over here like:

hgkhlgkhlghll okay but i AM listening here i go pray for me...

okay. here's the thing. if chad fucking kroeger wasn't singing this i would really like this- the guitar solo is a little extra, but i've also listened to dragonforce and completed that shit on guitar hero0 jAYSUS CHRiST- anyways! i?????????????????? am going to have a lil quick jacob inspired music romp, join me if you like!

5 bands/artists, 5 songs below the cut!! but, FIRST!!

a warning: these first three groups will be triggering and offensive in many/multiple ways! please be prepared!!

𝙺𝙾Я𝙽:

Never Never: [x] - this is particularly nice™ if you follow my he was married timeline;

Shoots And Ladders: [x] - this pertains to childhood sexual abuse i haven't even had the stomach to write about yet for the Seed boys and it's not part of my timeline currently, but. it is definitely part of my headcanons and there is not enough brain bleach for me to ever live the same ever again 🙃

All In The Family [x] - i do not think this needs any explanation but i ammmm hahahahhahahahhksjud imagining john and jake hghg;glghlhglhgljhgl

It's On! [x] - i really forgot how much i miss early 00s/late 90s rock aaand wow so much of it it very The Seeds™

Coming Undone [x] - wow how hot was jon davis kdjskjdks i mean he still is but hewlp senmdddd shheelpppshdaslkf

𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐇 𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒:

The Becoming [x] - yeah 😢 it really do be like that. if you've never heard this before it can be a little... jarring, unsettling and/or painful to listen to, especially if you aren't in a good or positive headspace. there are a lot of sudden and loud mechanical/industrial type of noises as well a running background track of people screaming out in pain so... enjoy. that.... i actually?? really love this song and the entire album. it describes the fight with mental illness well in my opinion.

Mr Self Destruct [x] - it's perfect. would also very much work for Joseph but i do think this is just verrrryyy, sickeningly Jacob

I Do Not Want This [x] - this is another that is just not good if you aren't in the headspace for it

Big Man With A Gun [x] - this is just. explicit. and rude. and accurate. you're welcome.

Eraser [x] - don't listen to this if you're feeling low or not well mentally. definitely a deputy ship song.

bonus cause i can't follow rules even of my OWN making and i could go on for an embarassingly LONG time about NIN in relation to any one of my muses and sjkdnksdfns here you go:

The Perfect Drug [x] - this is a great song for any seed/deputy ship tbh but kdjkfdjfsnkfndhbf this a whole ass mf ass jacob seed ass mood and i am yelling out loud and my dogs are barking and all my cats ran awAY AaaaAaa

𝑺𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒎 𝑶𝒇 𝑨 𝑫𝒐𝒘𝒏:

Violent Pornography [x] - this song makes me laugh out loud to be honest?? i am not? a sane individual

Cigaro [x] - LMAOOAHAHHAHAHSJABSDKAS UBISOFT SHOULD HAVE HIRED ME FOR THE WHITETAILS RADIO SOUNDTRACK BYEE HHHAJKDnsaf

Suite-Pee [x] - sorry but this is apparently just funny meme time now im hahjdgsfkjddgf

War? [x] - accurate meme hour continues

I-E-A-I-A-I-O [x] - glhfmlkfgmlkdfg i'mm ghlghklgkhl the absolute mutterings of a ginger madman trapped between two mountains

𝓛𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓗𝓾𝓻𝓸𝓷:

The Ghost On The Shore [x] - fricken love this song and this group

Drops In The Lake [x] - pooor ol widower. i've been toying with a universe where his wife is still clinging to life, mostly burnt and nearly dead in that old veteran's center and hahahaha this doesn't hurt at all 🥴

Long Lost [x] - this is fine. not imagining my otp. nope.

The World Ender [x] - 🤠🗡

Yawning Grave [x] - this is also a lucifer jam as fuck

𝕰𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖔𝖙 𝕸𝖔𝖘𝖘:

Silver + Gold [x] - super good ship song for character arcs; dep ship or not

Closedloop [x] - 𝒊𝒕'𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 . . .

I Heard [x] - what a fuckin jam. also wow how cute is elliot?? ? wow

99 [x] - i dont have anything to say its just so accurate and so good

Without The Lights [x] - this is a very accurate interpretation of a physically and sexually abusive relationship through dance, please use caution! but this is going to be accurate for any canon type relationship with jacob or maybe even all of the seeds. personally i refuse to write any strictly non-consensual material, but i am fully aware this is more than likely something that happens. having been in similar relationships in the past this video goes on repeat a lot and i can't even begin to say how beautiful it is- i cry every single time.

"𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝓰𝓼 𝔀𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭 𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓸𝓭𝓼 . . ."

hoLY COW if you made it this far you deserve something dont u... hmnnn. i'm sure i have something somewhere on a hard drive

that should do sjdkjfkd ok i love youu thank you for sending me this ask akjnsfdskf i hope u are having a great day!! bye!!

[imdreamingwiththestars]

YOU ASKED FOR MUSIC ONES --> 1, 16, 74, 85

I just know I’m gonna forget every song I’ve ever enjoyed doing this

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

Okay so I don’t actually know the answer to this but I’m gonna guess. I listen to WAP a lot, I’ve heard sweater weather and I kissed a girl so many times I can sing them half coherent at 4 am (yes this has happened before), I think my remaining 3 top songs are probably pussy talk, 505, and airplanes (b.o.b and Hayley Williams? Fuck yeah) also anything by lorde or Adele. This was originally Taylor Swift erasure so I’m fixing it, I listen to Exile at least once a day, Red got me through so much shit and I still scream sing it when it plays. Enchanted is so cute and romantic and I know love story by heart.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Oh god the amount of stuff I could say here, I’ll do my top 3 because I can’t choose.

I adore the neighborhood and they’ve been one of my longest loved bands. I think I started listening to them 4 (?) years ago and I’ve bonded with so many people over them. One of my favorite people in the world got me back into listening to them this year.

Arctic monkeys. Boy oh boy could I rave about them for hours on end. I’ve been listening to them for a while and I’ve known most songs since they came out. I recently got thrown back into them by the same person mentioned above and they’re kinda dominating my brain rn. They’ve got so many types of songs, there’s something for every mood and I think that’s a beautiful thing.

Finally, 5 seconds of summer. I’ve loved their music frequently over the years but my best friend absolutely adores them and so I’m now consistently listening to them. I absolutely associate music and bands with people so whenever I hear their music or someone mentions them it makes me think of her. (For the record this isn’t the same person as arctic monkeys and the nbhd)

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Airplanes by B.o.B ft Hayley Williams, it reminds me of my childhood and I could listen to it forever. It just makes me feel so free and nostalgic, it reminds me of the childhood I yearned to have. And drops of Jupiter by train, it’s a song I’ve loved for years but my best friend has basically made it our song. I can’t hear it without thinking about spending the summer at her house and having sleepovers after swimming all day. Paper rings by Taylor Swift I cannot stress this enough. This song makes me dance and smile like I’m in love with life, I can’t accurately express my love for it.

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

I’m currently listening to East of Eden by Zella Day (check her out I fuckin love her music) but I just listened to single by the nbhd and be my mistake by the 1975 (had to include both because I can’t remember which I heard first)

Music is really special to me in a way I don’t think it is for everyone, it’s a love language. When I love people I make them playlists, when I feel something strongly I make a playlist for it. I’ve listened to music for some of my best and worst moments and formed associations beyond a point of realism. I can hear a line from a song and just get such feeling or such a memory of someone or something from it. Music is the love language I’m most comfortable with, my top 2 standard ones are quality time and words but music is my favorite. Sometimes I can’t find the words but you bet I can find a song for it. Music is one of my driving forces and I grew up surrounded by it. It’s my favorite thing on earth and if I couldn’t listen to it I think I’d go insane.

[gordvendomewhore]

tumblr user gordvendomewhore keeps crying over their bif/derby playlist

okay so i have some requests im working on rn but i decided to take a small break and make this post instead! uwu

basically this is just a mini examination of my berby playlist!!! i’m just gonna go through these songs and say which perspective i imagine the song to be from and some other stuff lmaoo

currently there’s only 6 songs haHA, so i’m doing this post now before i add some new ones!!

also,, even though this is a,,,, shipping playlist,,,,,, all these songs are somewhat angsty,,,,,,,,,

but it fits them so whatever HAHAA enjoy

btw here’s a link to the playlist on spotify and a link to the playlist on youtube you wanna listen along! and honestly i recommend you do but it’s not necessary lol

boxin’(g)love - the polarity

bif AND derby,,,, but like 70% bif and 30% derby LMAO

okay with this title there’s no way i couldn’t have included this

while i think berby has the potential to be soft or fluffy, i don’t think that’s the number one thing that really,,, represents them yknow??

doesn’t stop me from loving it but still LMAO

to me, they’re the definition of unrequited love, but not your typical one sided version of it lol

i think that,, they both love each other a lot yknow??? but their own history, personal issues, and flawed personalities keep them from ever expressing that in its full capacity

this song encapsulates that feeling perfectly!!

the singer and the person they’re talking about obviously have communication issues, leading to both of them having more feelings of resentment rather than love

and it gets to the point where the relationship is nothing more than one big, drawn out, and frankly unnecessary battle

this song is fantastic though LMAO stream the polarity

venus flytrap - feng suave

100% bif.

oh my god this song,,,,,, this song is so SEXY AAAAAA literally i used to listen to this on repeat 24/7

my yearning aside, i imagine this to be from bif’s point of view for pretty obvious reasons hahaaa

bif and derby are both naturally cold people; their love languages are not ones that people see often, and are ones that some might not even consider love lmao

but out of the two of them, bif is definitely the more loving one

in a weird,,, strange way that feel like i can’t describe/explain properly, they would stay together forever yknow?

maybe not romantically, sexually, or even physically, but i think they would always be on each other’s minds

derby would be able to repress any feelings he has and pretend that life is fine and dandy, and while i think bif can also do the same, he definitely can’t do it as well because it’s,,, derby

in simple terms, derby is like a drug, and when you combine his addictive presence with his manipulative nature, you have a person that you feel you can never escape

this sounds so toxic, because well. derby IS toxic HAHAHAAAA but we can’t forget that yknow. bif is just as horrible

this pairing is just two shitty people being shitty with each other LMAOO

if you search up the meaning behind the lyrics of this song, the creators of the song say this: “The lyrics describe a story of love, where the protagonist sings of himself as “just a bug stuck in a Venus flytrap”, in which he'll eventually die.”

i just think it fits them in a sick, twisted way

but hey! sick and twisted fits this ship better than anything else

i love you so - the walters

for the first couple listens, i always associated this song with bif but i kinda,,, see it from derby’s pov now 😳

hmm so probably like?? 60% derby and 40% bif

the first verse just SCREAMS derby harrington

here’s part of it:

I just need someone in my life; To give it structure; To handle all the selfish ways; I spend my time without her

derby is very much a selfish person, everyone and their mom knows this, so it’s no surprise that his selfishness would also apply to his love

personally i think it’s his raging insecurity and lack of anything in his life ever actually being his and his alone that makes him this way, but that’s a whole examination for another day HAHA

but yes yes, i think that no matter how strong derby’s feelings were for bif, he’d inevitably try and escape at some point for the sake of self-preservation and,,, fear.

as for bif, take basically all the points from the last song LMAOO

the second half of the first verse really applies to him i think:

You're everything I want; But I can't deal with all your lovers; You're saying I'm the one; But it's your actions that speak louder; Giving me your love; When you are down and need another

bif feeling used by derby,,,,, bif knowing that the words of love and affirmation that derby is feeding him aren’t exactly lies,,,,,,,,,, but still knowing that they aren’t the truth either,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

feed me the angst give me the angst YESSSS!!!!!!

lovefool - no vacation

okay this is a controversial take but,,,,

this is a derby song HAHAAA

it’s that first verse again dude it’s just so derby harrington

i think that,,,, the lyrics describe him quite well if you look past the surface

Guess I was a fool for believing you; Yeah the truth hurts more than a lie or two; More than a lie or two

strangely enough, i think bif is a very honest person. he lies when he wants to, because he’s a fucking prep lmao fabrication and manipulation are two of their favorite things

but overall he feels he has nothing to hide

derby is obviously the other way, like canonically so

there’s literally dialogue from the other preps of them going like, “derby told me [insert thing]! he would never lie to me!!”

like literally gord says, “Am I really the best dressed at Bullworth? I must be, Derby wouldn't lie to me.”

and so i think it’s very fitting for him to be afraid of vulnerability to the point that he would rather prefer lies from other people over the truth

like he’d 100% prefer if bif lied about loving him rather than genuinely being honest about it, because how the hell is derby supposed to handle someone else’s emotions when he can’t handle his own lmaooo

this totally isn’t the derby kinnie coming out 😼

anyway i’m probably interpreting this song incorrectly and looking too deep into it but i don’t care because this is a derby harrington song!!!!!!!

everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears

i don’t have a big explanation for this song lmaooo

it’s just a song that perfectly encapsulates the preps’ characters

ESPECIALLY derby but all of them in general

like this isn’t even a ship song i JUST associate it with the preps HAHAHA

there are worst things i could do - grease (vanessa hudgens)

okay so i haven’t ever watched grease in my entire life (other than the glee episode dedicated to it but that DOES NOT COUNT LMAOO)

but i know how important this song is to the character (rizzo) and the meaning behind it in general so it feels wrong for taking this song and trying to spin the meaning to fit some bully ship HAHAAA

this song does remind me a lot of derby though so it has a special place in this playlist :))

OOF sorry for the weak ending LMAOO

but if anyone read this entire thing 🥺 thank you!!! i know that this playlist is super short, but i’m working on adding new songs!!!! i’ll try to have some of them be more happy haha

btw,,, i also have two other ship playlists (vance/bryce and petey/gary) if anyone wants me to do a post on those too, but they’re not exactly popular ships at the moment so LMAO (especially vance/bryce HAHA)

but yess thank you for reading!!

(also please note that i’m not intentionally glorifying toxic relationships if it seems like it!!! exploring complex and angsty relationships dynamics is just really fun to me lmaooo

but if you are uncomfortable with anything i wrote about on this post feel free to dm me or send an ask or something and i’ll take it down!!)

[merlinsbed]

I’m listening to my wangxian playlist (and procrastinating on watching a documentary for my cultural anthropology class) and having lots of feelings about it so have some rambling about some of my favorite songs (this is gonna be long so most of it is going under a cut):

Without You by Ursine Vulpine, Annaca I think is like perfect for the 16 (13 if we’re going with book) years when wwx was dead. beginning of the song puts me in mind of the end of the bloodbath at nightless city when wwx dies and then his grief in the aftermath of it (this is like my absolute favorite song for them rn I mean the lyrics “can you hear my cry / and oh lullaby / drifting through the sky” definitely makes me think of lwj playing inquiry looking for wwx and the ending lyrics are so good omg: “I don’t wanna live a life without you / I will watch the world burn without you” the whole song is incredible though seriously)

My Medea by Vienna Teng, in addition to being one of favorite songs in general, I think is a great song for wwx, probably during the burial mounds era? “no haven for this heart / no shelter for this child in mazes lost / heaven keep us apart / a curse for every mile of ocean crossed / for I must die for what I’ve done / a twist of fate a desert sun / for I see what I destroy” just gets me every time I listen to it

Tightrope from The Greatest Showman I think is fantastic from lwj’s perspective I mean like the LYRICS “hand in my hand and we promise to never let go / we’re walking a tightrope / high in the sky we can see the whole world down below / we’re walking a tightrope / never sure never know how far we could fall / but it’s all an adventure that comes with a breathtaking view”. it kind of puts me in mind of the single log bridge line

And So My Heart Became a Void by Ursine Vulpine, Annaca is another good tragic one imo, more from wwx’s pov. “oh my love what have I done / there’s nowhere left for us to run / and I was standing in the sunlight / and I can’t bear the sight of you / oh my lover what’s on your mind / you’re caught between two ways of life” just. ugh. I love it

Labyrinthine Heart by Sleepthief (feat. Jody Quine) I think really captures their relationship pre wwx’s death when there are so many obstacles keeping them apart “It’s the loving way / that you say my name all the time / I can feel / night with you by my side / but will darkness release me / I hear you cry / locked away in your cage / and I want to try but I’m caught / in this maze of design” also “through the corridor / yours forever more and you’re mine / I can see / daylight with you by my side / and no walls to enclose me” god at this rate I’m gonna quote the whole song lmao I can’t help it it’s all just so beautiful!

Us vs Them (The City Will End Tonight) by Denmark + Winter is really good post resurrection imo. “it’s us against the world / I won’t let you down” like enough said right? I mean it’s LITERALLY lwj and wwx against the entire cultivation world at one point!

Lovers Death by Ursine Vulpine, Annaca is actually one I go back and forth on a bit because I’m not 100% sure the chorus fits but the VERSES ARE SO GOOD “I’ve seen what love looks like / I’ve seen it’s beauty when it’s alive / I was roaming in it’s paradise / it’s gold it’s blue it’s in the skies / but I am a witness to love’s death / there’s no blood there’s no body there’s nothing left / oh my darling don’t you ever forget I wasn’t prepared for the end” again I think it works really well for nightless city when wwx dies. and listen I will freely admit that I’ve like imagined that whole scene while listening to that song and it is so. fricken. tragic. it just. it just ups the tragedy factor of wwx’s death by a million

Rewrite The Stars from The Greatest Showman with lwj as zac efron and wwx as zendaya. like the thing I love about the live action that puts it at the top for me in terms of favorite adaptation is the whole star crossed lovers thing it has going on between wwx and lwj in wwx’s first life which rewrite the stars captures so well. it specifically puts me in mind of the time during the sunshot campaign up to wwx defecting after the phoenix mountain hunt with lwj trying so hard to help wwx and be there for him even though he doesn’t understand the whole situation (because wwx doesn’t TELL him) and wwx wanting lwj there but also not wanting to hurt him and like lqr doing his best to keep them apart and I could keep going

Carry You by Ruelle and Fleurie is a beautiful somewhat tragic somewhat hopeful love song from lwj to wwx post resurrection imo. “you are not alone / I’ve been here the whole time singing you a song / I will carry you” is the chorus and just UGH lwj always being there to catch wwx when he falls, refusing to leave his side even when it means turning against everything he’s ever known, like I just think it really captures the steadfast devotion he shows wwx, the sheer depths of his love

Closer by Mike Perry, Sonic Avenue, Hot Shade (Feat. Mikayla) is another song that I think captures the pining of their relationship during wwx’s first life, post war. “can we go back to that summer / when we just had each other / I still hear the song in my heart” puts me in mind of reminiscing about their days in cloud recesses, simpler happier times when they didn’t feel like they had the weight of the world on their shoulders. the whole song gives me a bittersweet, longing feeling like I picture wwx lying awake at night in the burial mounds thinking back on those days and trying not to become overwhelmed with longing

Never Look Away by Vienna Teng is another good one. “Let me uncover the silver in your dark hair / the weight of your bones / I want to witness the beauty of your repair / the shape you’ve grown / for you are made of nebulas and novas and night sky / you’re made of memories you bury or live by” I tend to think of it being from lwj to wwx but it also works the other way imo as well but like these LYRICS GUYS “so if you’re out there in the cold / I’ll cover you in moonlight / if you’re a stranger to your soul / I’ll bring you to your birthright / I want the storm inside you awoken now / I want your warm bright eyes / to come back to me / and hold on to me / you know that I won’t lie”

that’s not the whole playlist but these are my current favorites (especially the ones by ursine vulpine with annaca performing vocals I highly recommend the whole album it’s only 5 songs and they’re all amazing)

[thewritingstar]

1-200 we're all in quarantine so got nothing to do. Might as well ask pls

oo anon you were gonna ask anyways lol. But I did this hella quick during a zoom.....

1. What is your middle name?

-Rose

2. Do you have any nicknames that aren’t derived from your actual name?

-Star

2. Do you have any allergies?

-Penicillin (not really thou), but no

4. What is the longest your hair has ever been?

-Lower back

5. How well can you write in cursive?

-Its readable

6. Name one item on your bucket list.

-Going to all the Disney parks in the world

7. Have you ever been on a blind date?

-haven’t even been on a real date

8. What is the oldest piece of clothing you still wear and how old is it?

-prob like five years ago and its jeans

9. How often do you eat out at a fancy restaurant?

-nothing like I have to dress up but maybe once a year??

10. How grammatically correct are you when you text?

-rules don’t apply in text

11. Can you drive stick?

-hell no

12. What foreign country would you most like to visit and why?

-japan because I think it would be so cool

13. Nutella or peanut butter?

-NUTELLA

14. At what age did you have your first kiss?

-...............ahahhahahh

15. DC or Marvel?

-DC. Harley Quinn owns my ass

16. Have you ever hosted a wild party?

-my parties consist of drinking capri suns and playing cards against humanity and Mario kart

17. Name/author of the last book you read cover to cover. Do you recommend it?

-...ooof haven’t read a book in a while

18. How many of your Facebook friends do you actually hang with?

-my mom

19. Have you ever donated blood?

-I was apart of a cancer study so I used to donate my blood (and pee) to science

20. From 1-10, how much do you like decorating for holidays?

-8 I love to decorate but I’m not allow near the Christmas trees

21. Coffee or tea?

-vaniila iced lattes or raspberry ice tea own me

22. What is your go-to Starbucks drink?

-Vanilla bean frap with extra vanilla

23. Last show you binge watched?

-currently its assassination classroom

24. Dogs or cats?

-puppy’s

25. Favorite animated Disney character?

-Jessica Rabbit, Dumbo, Rey, Tamatoa and Guedo

26. Have you ever cooked a big family meal by yourself?

-mostly baking for my family

27. Favorite winter activity?

-Staying inside

28. Have you ever butt dialed anyone?

-probably

29. Can you blow a bubble gum bubble?

-yes

30. How early in the year do you start celebrating Christmas?

-my mom plays Xmas music year round

31. What emoji best describes your life right now?

-the wilting rose

32. Are you fluent in more than one language?

-nope

33. What is the longest you’ve ever kept a New Year’s resolution?

-I don’t make them

34. Have you ever successfully been on a diet? Did you gain any of the weight back?

-I’m on a diet to gain weight and its not going well

35. Are any of your grandparents still alive?

-only on my moms side

36. How good are you at communicating through facial expressions?

-hahaha my face gives everything away and I can read people pretty well

37. Have you ever gotten a commercial jingle stuck in your head?

-EDUCATION CONNECTION! Get connected for free

38. Have you ever left a movie theater before the movie was over?

-Nope

39. Do you consider rapping singing?

-rapping is in its own ballpark...its why its called rapping

40. Does your home have a fireplace?

Yep

41. Favorite non-chocolate candy?

-sour gummies worms

42. If you could have only one superpower, what would you want and why?

-oooof ummmmmm maybe teleportation

43. Have you ever locked your keys in your car?

44. Do you listen to any religious music?

-noooooooooo

45. Do you drink soda? If so, which one is your favorite?

-I hate soda

46. What was your ACT score?

-do not do me like this (21)

47. Rice or quinoa?

-rice

48. From 1-10, how good of a driver do you consider yourself?

-like an 8

49. Do you like horror movies?

-nope

50. How easily do you cry?

-uh depends on what it is

51. Do you have any tattoos? If so, of what and where?

-no but I want some

52. You are hanging with your closest friends. What are you most likely doing?

-being dumb and quoting tik toks at target

53. Can you handle spicy foods? What is your spice limit?

-not very well

54. Can you play any musical instruments? If so, which ones?

-no

55. Are you more introverted or extroverted?

-middle of the road

56. Last CD you bought?

-Folklore by Taylor Swift

57. Do you like roller coasters?

-yessss but they cant be extremely tall

58. What day of the week is laundry day for you?

-uhhh depends on when I have time

59. Have you ever played spin the bottle?

-uh maybe once but I was in fourth grade and walked away

60. How long have you known your best friend?

-I’ve known my bestie for 16 years (met when we were 4)

61. Can you eat using chopsticks?

-yes!! I usually eat my Chinese food with them

62. Do you have any stickers on your laptop computer? If so, what are they of?

-no because I need to get a case for my iMac and iPad

63. How often do you say y'all?

-every fucking day. Y’all is my go too

64. Favorite flavor of ice cream?

-cookie dough, pralines and cream, blue raspberry sherbert, vanilla, coffee

65. How long was your longest relationship? Are you still with that person?

-my longest relationship was like three weeks in fourth grade with my friends cousin who I saw twice

66. Star Trek or Star Wars?

-haven’t seen either but prob Star Wars cause r2d2 is cute

67. How good are you at math?

-ehhh I’m okay at stats

68. Have you ever acted in a play or a musical?

-used to do the plays in middle school :)

69. How often do you read/pay attention to your horoscope?

-not much my horoscope but just my sign in general

70. What is the shortest your hair has ever been?

-just above my shoulders

71. Have you ever broken any bones?

-my big toe

72. Do you like to go fishing?

-nooooooo I went fishing once and it pooped on me

73. Do you believe in evolution?

-of course

74. Favorite costume you wore for Hallowen? How old were you?

-I was perry the platypus…. 19

75. Real or fake Christmas trees?

-fake!!! WHO WANTS TO CLEAN THAT UP???

76. How many pillows do you sleep with?

-usually 1-2 but like 5 in the winter

77. Do you live in an apartment or a house?

-House rn

78. How many of your friends are of the opposite gender?

-in my close circle, one but I do have many boy homies

79. Have you ever had a near-death experience?

-many times

80. How long have you been at your current job?

-four weeks

81. What kind of car do you drive (year, brand, model, color)?

-white car

82. How flexible are you?

-not super but mama can bend

83. Have you ever ended a romantic relationship?

-haven’t even started one

84. Phrase you say the most?

-“I’m uncomfortable” “Y’all” “I would let J.D from heathers…..”

85. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same gender? If so, did you like it?

-no but I wish

86. Do you own any homemade clothing?

-not that I know of

87. Do you like fast food?

-yessss

88. Have you ever given anyone CPR?

-nope

89. Have you ever learned to do anything from a how-to video on YouTube?

-I fixed my moms glasses yesterday with a video so she wouldn’t have to spend a shit ton of money

90. Describe your sense of humor.

-if Always Sunny in Philadelphia and “vine comp that butters my eggroll” had a baby

92. Favorite cereal?

-no

93. Have you ever auditioned for a reality competition show?

-no

94. Have you ever gotten a TV theme song stuck in your head?

-Sugar, spice and everything nice, these were the ingredients…….

95. Do you believe in ghosts?

-indifferent

96. Do you think there is life on other planets?

-hell yeah

97. Have you ever given money to a street performer?

-yep

98. Your deepest fear?

-lets not go there

99. Pancakes or waffles?

-waffles but I don’t even like them that much

100. Are you still friends with anyone from high school?

-yep, my friend circle dates back to elementary

101. From 1-10, how good of a dancer do you consider yourself?

-7

102. How much of a patient person are you?

-I can be extremely patient. Once waited three hours in a dressing room with my friend and I didn’t have a phone

103. Do you know your IQ?

-no but its prob god level

104. Do you eat meat at all?

-mama loves meat

105. Do you own any clothes from a garage sale or a thrift store?

-I think so

106. Have you ever bought anything from a flea market?

-yess my mom used to take me to flea markets all the time

107. Have you ever quit a job?

-early this year

108. Have you ever gotten a song you dislike stuck in your head?

-many times

109. Any movie(s) you can watch over and over and over again and enjoy just as much each time?

-robots to ratatouille

110. Do you or have you ever worn glasses?

-just sun glasses

111. Have you ever skinny dipped?

-when I was like 6

112. Are your birth parents still together?

-yep

113. Have you ever been in the audience for the taping of a TV show?

-not that I know of

114. Favorite type of cookie?

-chocolate chip or the sugar cookies with the pink frosting on them (I’m a whore for them)

115. Have you ever been broken up with?

-nope

116. How often do you smile when getting your picture taken?

-most of the time

117. Have you ever accidentally dialed 911?

-yes I have and I was 6 and bullied for it for years by my uncle even though my cousins tricked me into doing it

118. Oldest memory?

-throwing a chair at a kid in preschool for stealing my cookie

119. Have you ever been the victim of a nasty prank?

-nope

120. How often do you snort when you laugh?

-uhhhh a lot

121. From 1-10, how good of a singer do you consider yourself?

-5

122. Favorite Disney song?

-uuuuuuhhh Shiny, See the Light, Why Don’t you Do Right, Show Yourself

123. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

-hopefully in la

124. What is your Myers-Briggs personality type?

-I’m an advocate

125. Have you ever had a fortune cookie fortune come true?

-I think so

126. Name one thing you wish people would stop posting on social media.

-fascist, racist, homophobia stuff

127. Last musical artist you saw live?

-Jonas brothers

128. Credit cards or cash?

-cash cause I feel like I didn’t spend anything

129. Favorite fandom?

-the powderpuff girls or fairy tail

130. What is your astrological sign?

-Aries

131. Have you ever been fired from a job?

-nope I’m a good noodle

132. Any hidden talents?

-I can do the cinnamon challenge

133. Can you surf?

-nope

134. What motivates you to do well in life?

-the fear of failure

135. Your worst physical feature?

-my acne

136. From 1-10, how much are you like your father?

-mehhhhhhhh like a 4

137. How lucky do you consider yourself?

-I’m a pretty lucky person ngl

138. Name a moment in your life when you were pleasently surprised.

-when I won a coffee maker at my senior grad night raffle

139. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty?

-nope

140. What type of shoes do you wear the most?

-my converse

141. Favorite summer activity?

-getting coffee

142. Favorite song to sing in the shower?

-any Taylor swift song

143. Have you ever lived with a roommate you did not get along with?

-my parents sometimes

144. Have you ever lived on a farm?

-my grandparents owned a cherry farm when I was little

145. Have you ever kept a diary or a journal?

-tumblr is my diary

146. TV show or movie you quote/reference the most?

-Always Sunny, The Office, Gotham

147. How often do you get mad at yourself?

-constantly

148. Have you ever gotten any stitches?

-only in animal crossing (he’s so cute)

149. Have you ever been hunting?

-no

150. Favorite YouTube channel?

-Jenna marbles, try guys, mukbang edit channel, drama channels

151. Have you ever had a pet besides a dog or a cat?

-I had a mouse once

152. From 1-10, how well do you work with others?

-9

153. Are you friends with any of your exes?

-I don’t got exes

154. Apple or PC?

-I have an Apple Mac rn but I think I loved my pc so much so I’m getting used to the format

155. Do you collect anything?

-what don’t I collect? Funko, pins, so much stuff

156. Have you ever seen any Broadway plays or musicals?

-I saw Newsies and A Music chorus

157. Any missed opporunites you wish you had taken?

-I’m not too sure

158. Have you ever uttered a spoken hashtag?

-yes

159. Do you have a pool at your house?

-nope

160. What is the longest you’ve gone without sleep?

-like 24 hours and it was hell

161. Last thing that made you laugh?

-a meme 20 sec ago

162. Disney or Nickelodeon?

-Disney

163. Name one celebrity you wish was still alive.

-Billy Mays (Oxyclean dude)

164. From 1-10, how much are you like your mother?

-maybe a 6

165. Your best physical feature?

-my hair

166. Earbud or earmuff headphones?

-earbud

167. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender?

-..hmmmm sometimes I think it would be cool but I’m pretty content with being a girl...

168. Do you have any piercings anywhere besides your ear lobes?

-my nose

169. How often do you wash your hair?

-every other day usually

170. Showers or baths?

-I love a good bath but I take showers more

171. Have you ever been a bridesmaid or a groomsman?

-noooo but I wanna be

172. Bottled or tap water?

-bottle

173. What was your favorite TV show when you were a kid?

POWERPUFF GIRLS

174. Any guilty pleasures you’re willing to discuss?

-watching glee

175. Favorite video game?

-Mario kart

176. Have you ever gotten a New Year’s kiss exactly at midnight?

-nooooo why are there so many questions about kissing

177. How many of the United States have you visited?

-four, ive passed over a few more in a plane

178. Have you ever given money to a homeless person?

-yes

179. Have you ever gotten a surgery?

-no

180. Your least favorite food?

-cheese

181. From 1-10, how competitive are you?

-depends. I’m like a 6 but I can be pushed to a 10 when motivated

182. Do you like wearing hats?

-only a snap back occasionally

183. How much of a jealous peron are you?

-ehh not really

184. What was your SAT score?

-900-1100 (stop nationwide testing doesn’t work and I didn’t learn eveything)

185. Have you ever voted for a reality competition show?

-no

186. Does anyone in your family currently serve in your country’s military?

-my cousin

187. Snowboarding or skiing?

-I don’t do snow

188. What celebrity would you most want to play you in a movie about your life?

-jack black

189. Have you ever been a Boy or Girl Scout?

-hell no

190. Have you ever dyed your hair?

-many times

191. From 1-10, how good of a cook do you consider yourself?

-7

192. You have just opened up a web browser. What is the first site you visit?

-this cursed site

193. How many things can you do with your weaker hand?

-a lot

194. Were you involved in any academic clubs in high school?

-honors i guess

195. Have you ever played hooky from school?

-like twice

196. Are you comfortable with watching rated R movies?

—-not with my parents

197. Do you root for any sports teams?

-bold of you to assume i do sport

198. First thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

-pee

199. If you could take home any one animal from the zoo, which one would you choose?

-a lizard

200. Tell something about yourself most people don’t know.

-uhhh ummmm (I have a tik tok with 7.5k followers) 

[emmetthimbo]

Reader got a singing job and Robin only finds out when she goes somewhere to hang out with Steve and the kids? (You can choose the song, but rn I’m obsessed with Donna Summer) :) Also, I’ve read all of your other Robin stories and I love how you write!

Thank you so much this is so nice!! Not listened to Donna Summer in ages so I’ll give her a listen, for this fic I’m going off the piano bar scene in the politician because I’m head over ass for Lucy Boynton and also I don’t sing so reader plays piano instead I’m sorry this is gods path 😳 let’s go lesbians

Working at Enzo’s wasn’t the worst job in the world. Customers tipped well, and you got to practice piano, something you’d neglected a lot during the school year. Sure, your fingers had started to ache and cramp more than they used to, but it was a good pain. Better than sitting in your garden all summer anyway.

Day shifts were always quiet. You preferred them to evenings; they didn’t bustle. So you sat at the stool, playing some slow jazz riffs to the 3 customers that were currently in the restaurant.

You got so engrossed you didn’t even notice the rabble of kids walking in, which is quite a feat considering it was like a pack of buffalos stampeding through the restaurant. They sat themselves down at a table by the window, far from the few other customers, but well within your earshot. You recognised a few of them; Mike Wheeler was Nancy’s brother, and you’d babysat Dustin Henderson a few times back in sophomore year. You recognised Max Mayfield from the papers, her brother a casualty to the events at star court. But then again, half the town was. Another boy, who looked vaguely familiar in his red bandana, laughed with the girl. You weren’t surprised to see Steve Harrington sat with them either. He was a nice guy really, and you’d been almost friends in high school, until he started dating Nancy. Now, you were shocked to see Robin Buckley jogging in after them all, and taking a seat next to Dustin.

You and Robin had been fairly good aquaintances for a few years now. You were both in band, and had shared a hotel room now and again, but the last time you did, something happened between you. To be honest, you couldn’t tell if Robin was straight or if she just didn’t like you, but you’d kissed her against the hotel room door, and she’d pushed you onto the bed, and you’d fell asleep together. You woke up the next day to an empty bed, empty hotel room. You shared glances, but hers were always fleeting, unlike your lingering stares.

Yet here she was, in some cute blue jeans and a detroit red wings t shirt, smiling with a bunch of kids and Steve “the Hair” Harrington.

You continued to play, switching to a more mellow tune, that remained unrecognisable as it was completely improvised and probably sounded like shit because of how distracted you were. Then again, you could have been playing the funeral march and nobody would really pay attention. A vinyl could do your job for about $3.

You finished up playing your haphazard jazz remix, eyes remaining on the back of robin’s head, deciding it was time for your break. You lit a cigarette, spinning round on the piano stool and taking a sip of the drink that was far too strong for this time of day.

“Hey,” you spun around, Robin leaning against the back of the piano, eyes ogling at you from the table across the restaurant.

“Hi,” you all but gasped, almost choking on your cigarette.

“Not a big smoker?” She asked, smirking at you. Your heart raced.

“Hmm? Oh, it’s mostly just for something to do,” you say, clearing your throat.

“Oh, Cool.” She said, knitting her fingers together.

“Are you... do you.... um... what?” The girl started to laugh as you stuttered. You took a long swig of your drink.

“Sorry, it’s cute when you stutter,” she said, her ears tinging pink as your eyes bulged.

“Is it?” You asked, dumbfounded.

“God you’re such a dingus,” she muttered.

A new found wave of confidence washed over you, a mixture of nicotine and alcohol and adrenaline mingling in your bloodstream, possessing you to say what you said next.

“Yeah, but I’m a dingus you just called cute, so...” you said, smiling.

“You got me there,” she smirked, and you both laughed.

“Got any requests?” You asked her, suddenly eager to impress.

“You’ll have to let me think about it first,” she said, suddenly seeming deep in thought.

“Ok... so are you a big red wings fan?” You asked, pointing to her shirt.

“Well my dad is, which I guess means-,”

“You don’t have a choice,” you finished, and she grinned. You’d die to make her do that again.

“That sums it up, yeah,” she replied, looking down at her shirt.

“My dads like that with the bruins,” you said, and she gasped.

“God, the bruins suck,” she said, feigning disgust.

“Dude the red wings suck, you’ve barely even won a Stanley Cup,” you said.

“Yeah because the stupid Rangers keep hogging it,” Robin retorted.

“That we can agree on,” you said.

“Do you know any De Bussy?” She asked, changing the subject back to piano.

“Yeah, Claire de Lune?” You answered.

“That’s his best work,” she replied.

“Coming right up,” you said, putting your cigarette end in the ash tray and draining the rest of your drink.

“I’ll be back with a review,” she said over her shoulder as she walked back to her table.

“I’m counting on it,” you said back, before throwing your muscle memory into the works to play the classical piece. You noticed that Robin had moved seats, now sitting on the other side of the table, and was watching you play with glazed over eyes.

——

*one month later*

“I can’t believe work let you dress like that,” Robin said, slumping into your passenger seat and slamming the door shut behind her.

“Like what, exactly?” You asked, pulling away from the sidewalk and into the quiet road.

“All cool and sexy and normal,” she said.

“What about black jeans and a turtleneck is cool and sexy. I look like a ninja,” you reply.

“Yeah, ninjas are hot,” she says, sliding her finger into the neck of your top and pulling it back, to release it with a dull snap.

“Aww, the trucker look is hot too babe,” you said, earning a swat on the arm.

“God I can’t believe I’m dating you,” she said, smiling against her tone.

“And every day with you is a gift,” you replied, smiling at the cheesy line.

“Shut up and drive, dingus,” she said.

“Cute dingus,” you corrected.

She didn’t say anything, just leaned over the box and kissed your cheek, then placed her hand over yours on the gearstick.

An. Yes I strayed from the prompt Yes I’m sorry for that. But this went places. Too detailed and nothing really happened but oh well we live and learn hope this is ok for u anon 💖

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Jesse

Jac: [Okay, so it's year 2, so she would be just 18 and Jesse would be just 17, it's their last year of school and exams are looming etc etc, all the behaviour has become business as usual so everyone would've just stopped freaking out as hard because you'd wear yourself out otherwise it isn't sustainable, I'm vibing that this is around Christmas time, just because I'm cruel and then we can use the worried Xmas picture LMAO] Jesse: [I like that because then it's not that far into school year 2 aka close to uni looming but it has been ages since her and Amelia started their whole fwb bs so a mood] Jac: [I think it makes sense because it's like, a year since everything started really so it's as raw in a weird way 'cos it's like a shit anniversary lol] Jesse: [agreed, soz boy that I haven't fleshed you out enough to know what's been going in your life for this year besides fame] Jac: [you can be vague, at least, because this convo will not be about you, fill in the blanks later, not all of us are wilding all the time] Jesse: [and not all of us are oversharers like Savannah lol he'd be keeping shit to himself even if it was all kicking off] Jac: [true tea, anyway, I will start this] Jac: Hey, where are you? Jesse: [somewhere he likes to go to write and generally have privacy] Jac: Oh, okay Jac: never mind, it's cool Jesse: ? Jac: I just was gonna ask Jac: well, I don't know what I was gonna ask actually so yeah, ignore this Jesse: What's wrong? Jac: I looked and I couldn't find it Jac: but it was kind of a hole so maybe I just missed it Jac: but I was sick loads and loads I had to get off the bus so I know that's gone Jesse: hang on, what? Jac: You know Jac: I'm not a total mess Jac: I always make sure, after Jac: even if I'm super gone, I've never forgot Jesse: alright Jesse: stop talking in riddles for a sec, I dunno what you're going on about Jac: I went to this party, a week ago Jac: no Jac: more like two, fuck, three? Jac: I don't know, but anyway Jac: I remember looking for a condom in the bin on the floor in the sheets whatever Jac: and I remember because I didn't find one so it got through the haze Jac: and then when I was coming home I was sick and I'd literally just dry-swallowed my pill 'cos I keep them in my bag or my bra or whatever I've got on me Jesse: Fuck Jesse: alright, we can sort this Jac: Where do I go? is it the GP or do I have to go to one of those clinics? Jesse: I'm having a look Jesse: where are you now? Jac: I don't want to go to the doctors Jac: can they tell mum and dad Jac: it's meant to be patient confidentiality but literally everyone found out when Millie H got crabs Jesse: you don't have to do nowt you don't want Jesse: I'll figure something out Jac: I don't have no one else to ask Jac: sorry Jesse: shut up Jesse: you don't need to ask anyone else, I'll sort it Jac: I don't know why I didn't get the morning after Jac: well I do but it's so fucking stupid to say it now Jesse: you never said where you were Jac: just got out of work Jesse: I'll be there as soon as Jesse: get a ☕ Jac: I feel like all of my insides are gonna come out Jac: this is bad Jac: what the fuck am I gonna do, Jess Jesse: don't start, you'll do your own head in before owt's even happened Jac: how the fuck does this even happen Jac: it's ridiculous Jesse: [sends her whatever he's been working on like distract yourself with telling me how crap this is etc] Jac: What are you doing Jesse: what kind of question is that? Jesse: just sent you it Jac: why Jac: I don't have the time or desire to listen to that right now Jesse: are you waiting for me or what? Jac: I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know if you got the general vibe of my messages Jesse: sit down for a bit Jac: fine Jesse: It'll be alright Jesse: I know where we're going Jac: that's the first step in this marathon shitshow, I suppose Jesse: 👍 Jac: your downplay isn't really helping, just so you know Jesse: we can't both lose it, dickhead Jac: if there's a time for it, it's now Jesse: might be in a bit, not now Jac: so you're waiting for your moment, okay Jesse: that alright with you? Jac: not really Jac: but whatever, it's the least of my problems now Jesse: you're 18, they can't say nowt to ma and da that's one less Jac: oh, true Jac: thank god I waited 'til after September to ruin my life then Jac: as long as the receptionists don't catch wind Jesse: they won't give it me, as a lad case I were forcing it down some lass's throat against her will Jac: what do you mean Jesse: if I could just leg it in there for you I would Jac: obviously you can't Jac: we don't know if it's even happened Jac: or what I'm gonna do if it has Jesse: yeah Jac: you're thinking of morning after Jac: but they don't give that to blokes now either Jesse: about as much I know about this, that Jac: have much experience then Jesse: not really Jac: you'd know if you had Jac: probably wait 'til you've earnt more money to rinse you of it Jesse: sounds about right Jac: not worth the negatives at this stage Jesse: tah Jac: not me doing you a favour by not getting pregnant Jesse: obviously Jac: 🙄 Jesse: 🙄 Jac: shut up Jac: you're so annoying Jesse: 🤐 Jac: ugh Jac: you say nothing yet you still say the wrong thing Jac: it'd be a skill if it wasn't clearly the opposite Jesse: what's the right thing? Jac: If I knew that there'd be no need for you or the conversation Jesse: come on Jac: what? Jesse: you reckon I'm getting it wrong, you must have some clue what ain't Jac: I don't Jac: you're just Jac: I don't know Jesse: say it Jesse: might make you feel less shit Jac: ha Jac: wouldn't that be nice Jac: miraculous, even Jesse: 🎄🎅 Jac: I wasn't looking to be the next Mary, tah Jesse: that were Jude's role in the nativity, not yours Jac: her years seriously lacking in talent Jesse: Dunno how top we can say ours is for having me stick a tea towel on my head Jac: it's not a musical Jac: the shit film was made Jesse: could've been if they'd let me have any lines instead of that 🐑 to chuck about Jac: as damning as this glimpse into your psyche is Jac: you really think you chatting about 4 year olds singing silent night is the thing I need right now Jesse: alright, kids ain't the ideal subject Jesse: I get it Jac: no shit Jac: you all do my head in with this shit Jac: honestly, peaking at vaguely racial costuming is the saddest thing I've ever heard Jac: and my life is currently in the toilet Jesse: piss off have I peaked at owt Jesse: ain't even properly packed for my gig yet, like Jac: it's you who's bitter at being snubbed for joseph Jac: no need to read between the lines, dickhead Jesse: never said that Jesse: he was well fit and had 🥇 line delivery Jac: don't be disgusting Jac: I don't know why you even remember these things, any of you Jesse: leave it out Jac: you Jesse: it's bollocks that you're saying you don't Jac: I don't Jac: and I don't care either Jac: and if I have to spend one more minute around you chuntering on about this shit that doesn't matter and never did Jac: I'm actually going to scream Jesse: go for it Jesse: I'm here now, you can properly aim it at me Jac: [just staring him down to make a point of looking at him like #unphased 'you got an appointment?'] Jesse: [we just nodding like yep let's go but not moving because we're rushing no bitch especially not for something like this] Jac: [obviously walking in whatever direction we need to] Jesse: [love a silence that should be awkward but is actually comfortable] Jac: [for you anyway but us losing our mind be happening regardless so yeah] Jesse: [we know he is too but shh because now is not the time for you to be scared sir] Jac: [get this appointment done so you can go away and think about what you're doing] Jesse: [hit her with the feelsy JJ lean while you're waiting so she knows you care though thank you] Jac: [just getting out of there like 'I wanna go to work but I've only just left and they're shut' no place to go casually] Jesse: [he should take her somewhere feelsy even if it is because it's not, if that makes sense, like for it's normality] Jesse: [I'd suggest his work but that's unlikely to be shut unless they had that appointment at a really weird hour lol] Jesse: [somewhere she'd actually appreciate being rn is the point anyway] Jac: [we'll just go anywhere rn 'cos truly nowhere else to go] Jesse: [even if he's just driving/walking you around aimlessly, we're giving you time to think gal] Jac: [we're just scrolling furiously through our phone right now to the socials/texts from said night] Jesse: [meanwhile he's ignoring his because we blatantly have shit that we're supposed to be doing that we're obviously not] Jac: [thrusting the phone in his face casually with a picture of this dude like it means anything 'do I call him now?'] Jesse: [a look like do you want to because we don't know this dude and even if we did it's up to her if she wants to have that convo with him or not] Jac: [when you do that pause like well, elaborate please] Jesse: ['it don't need to be now' cos it really doesn't like you literally just found out and are probably in shock] Jac: [nods like okay 'so what am I doing now?' we literally just wanna be told what to do] Jesse: [we're taking her to get sugary tea and some food even if she doesn't eat or drink it, leading her there like she is a bub] Jac: [probably automatically eating and drinking without complaint we are that out of it] Jesse: [it's okay he's got enough wits about him to go somewhere where they won't run into millions of people they know because not rn thank you] Jac: [just a ball of energy because we need to do something but what can you right now] Jesse: [such a bobbing lil leg under that table, both of y'all] Jac: ['this is not-' shakes head] Jesse: [just looking at her like what because not the time either to put words in her mouth] Jac: ['this was not in my plan'] Jesse: ['do you wanna stick to the one you had or have a different crack at it?'] Jac: ['if it were that easy-' face like it'd be done and we wouldn't be sat here] Jesse: [nods and drinks that tea] Jac: ['this changes it regardless' letting that sit there and sink in] Jesse: [let it hit him how big of a deal this actually is because up until now we haven't let ourselves think about it/have been focused on the minute by minute actions of all this] Jac: ['no matter what I do'] Jesse: ['I'll be about no matter what' like love you babe always gonna be here for you 'dead comforting that, yeah?'] Jac: [scoffs 'yeah, condemning everyone to the same life sentence of an unwanted child about or the gnawing guilt of murdering it is exactly what I wanted'] Jesse: ['murder's a bit strong'] Jac: [shrugs 'not really'] Jesse: [shrugs back like if that's what you reckon] Jac: ['I know what you reckon I should do, alright'] Jesse: [a look like yeah obviously because I think you should do what's right for you] Jac: ['well it isn't that fucking simple, Jesse, so just' the hand mime that's like closing your fingers like sh] Jesse: [mimes the 🤐] Jac: ['you might not say much but you're loud with it, I know you, remember'] Jesse: [a look back like and I know you too] Jac: ['he already has some'] Jesse: [😒 because how old is this man tbh and who is he we don't stan] Jac: ['not like I knew at the time, but I've checked him out since, obviously'] Jesse: [gestures like gimme your phone so I can look] Jac: [does, he can easily be in his 20s and my vibe is a kid when he was like 17/18 and then one a few years later] Jesse: [just stalking this dude and drinking our tea, looks fun and casual but isn't] Jac: ['he has a right to know, right?' like genuinely ?] Jesse: ['Probably, but I ain't gonna force you to tell him if you don't want to'] Jac: ['you aren't going to force me to do anything, or anyone else; but morally...' shrugs 'it'd be better not to know, in loads of ways'] Jesse: ['Did he say owt to you after?' because there is that condom uncertainty so like did he wanna follow up is our question or was he not bothered] Jac: ['no, I don't know him' like duh 'I had to ask Darla his name'] Jesse: [a look like there you go then, don't worry too much about him rn because clearly he ain't worried about if he got your pregnant or not] Jac: [🙄 'obviously it's not a concern until it happens, that's kind of the point'] Jesse: [🙄 back because it is a concern before it happens for loads of people but whatever] Jac: ['is this helpful? he didn't wear a condom, that doesn't mean he doesn't wanna be or deserve to be contacted, by that rhetoric the only people who would would be the ones you didn't need to'] Jesse: ['never said it did, and I never said don't bother contacting him'] Jac: ['just because you don't vocalize it, doesn't get you out of any responsibility for implying it with what you don't, for fuck's sake, when are you gonna grow a backbone?'] Jesse: 'what I vocalised were it don't have to happen right the fuck now and it don't, take a sec for fuck's sake'] Jac: ['no because we're on a fucking timeline here, we don't have a sec!' raising our voice assumedly higher than the hushed tones we've been keeping] Jesse: [putting a hand on her arm like calm down but not a patronising calm down just like the equivalent of the JJ soft hey but not in words] Jac: ['no' and pushing his hand away but in a more calm manner not aggressively so 'the longer you delay this the worse it gets, it has to be dealt with now'] Jesse: [eye contact because we will not be fobbed off hen 'I get that but you only found out about an hour ago, like'] Jac: ['I fail to see the point in meditating on it, like' looking back obvs 'and anyway, the fact remains I still DON'T know what I'm going to do so you've got what you want there anyway'] Jesse: [a look like don't be a dickhead 'you don't reckon you might be in a bit of shock or whatever, nah?' but it's not a question cos we know you are and then a look like you can piss right off if you think this is what I want] Jac: ['and what? if I sleep on it this will be any less of a life-changing, earth-shattering shock?' shakes head like don't be stupid] Jesse: [a sigh because we don't know what to do or what to say] Jac: ['it's very sweet of you to want to fix this-' our tone suggests we think otherwise lol '-but that ain't why I called you'] Jesse: [a look like yeah no shit because we know she didn't have anyone else to call] Jac: ['I literally just need you to help me make the decision and then be there, not make me fucking okay with it, that isn't what this is'] Jesse: ['alright' genuinely we do mean it] Jac: ['thank you' big sigh] Jesse: [getting more tea for you both, it won't fix it but it is our love language] Jac: [just be having a google about all the possible things you could ever need to know for every available option] Jesse: [you too boy while you're waiting for that tea because why not] Jac: [casually terrifying ourselves lol but necessary evil 'cos yeah, can't not do this shit 'I hope you feel fucking lucky not to have a uterus'] Jesse: [nodding because we do after all this googling if we didn't before] Jac: [ah the biological unfairness of being born a girl lol] Jesse: [I hate it and all I've had to deal with are periods so] Jac: [literally being a straight girl/girl who has sex with men is lowkey mental torture like constant worry and if it does happen any outcome is bad like] Jesse: [agreed and y'all are gonna have to go home eventually and that upsets me to think about] Jac: [let us say that's hit you rn bitch 'what are we gonna...am I gonna say? I don't-' we mean speak 'cos literally tis the season lol] Jesse: [when that hits you then because again there's no right answer to this 'if you owt to be said, I can'] Jesse: [*want] Jac: ['I don't want it but-' a massive pause whilst we try to get our voice back to how it usually sounds and not straining 'cos you're about to cry 'cos we don't want that, then when you speak again it's barely audible '- how many more secrets am I expected to carry'] Jesse: [scoots his chair as close to her as he physically can because it's time for another feelsy lean that means 1. I love you 2. you can tell me anything 3. most importantly you can tell this whole fam literally anything even Jude who is a lot] Jac: [shakes head like clearly not but we don't move away] Jesse: [letting this moment happen because it's been so long for you both] Jac: [literally a year in all the senses lol] Jesse: [soz that we've done this to you lads] Jac: ['I don't think I can do any of this'] Jesse: ['you ain't got a choice, not to sit back and do nowt, I mean'] Jac: ['I know'] Jesse: [pushes her tea towards her like drink up because again it's our love language and they can't stay forever] Jac: [at least there's an excuse to go to the bathroom and filmically have a moment] Jesse: [and at least when they get home she's in the basement so he can be doing music shit  lowkey all night without it being blatant that he's checking on her] Jac: [we can skipperoo to that] Jesse: [agreed] Jac: [say that she was out of work 5 ish, say that took an hour at the least two at the most, they get home 7 ish, this is like late/early AM] Jac: Are you awake? Jesse: 👍 Jesse: [strums a note on the guitar or presses one on the keyboard like hello] Jac: I thought you were meant to be talented Jesse: where'd you hear that? Jesse: sounds like a load of bollocks Jac: Probably Jac: isn't everything on the 'gram Jesse: ✔ Jac: you'll have to come with me Jesse: Alright Jac: I just need to decide how to do it Jac: obviously I can't have it Jesse: did you work out how many weeks ago it were? Jac: three Jesse: I can give 'em a ring in a few hours, see how long you'll have to wait to get an appointment Jac: it can be up to 2 weeks Jac: that's what it says Jesse: I'll take the first one they offer us Jac: maybe that's to get it done Jac: it's all confusing Jac: and you can get the pills online and they won't prosecute you now but I still don't know how safe or fast that'll be either Jesse: soon as I can speak to someone, I'll ask whatever we ain't worked out Jac: pills have to be faster, even if they have to order them in, that's only a day or two Jac: two weeks is too long Jac: but the operation might be less scary Jac: I don't know Jesse: [sends her whatever he can find about people's actual experiences even though it's probably terrifying because the only way to really decide] Jac: I don't want to do this Jesse: I know Jac: this is why everyone does it Jac: has the kids Jac: I can't do this Jesse: can you do that though? Jac: I can't do any of this Jesse: not to be a dickhead, but you have to Jac: I know that Jesse: [playing some kind of song from their childhood whether that's a JJ or grandma Ali mood like this will comfort us while we ponder] Jesse: I dunno about waiting times for it but if you want it over and done sooner, the operation takes less time Jesse: couple of hours and you'll be back home Jac: yeah Jac: the pills can take days Jac: and you have to make sure it all comes away what if it doesn't Jac: how would I know what's too much blood Jesse: you'd have to call 'em or I would Jac: I wish they'd knock you out for the operation Jac: that's all Jesse: yeah, I get that Jac: it's punishment anyway Jac: there's no lesser it's just picking one and sticking to it Jesse: are you gonna tell anyone else, other than me and him? Jac: I don't know Jac: there's no point, I guess Jesse: might be a bit of a headfuck doing the 2nd pill at home if ma and da don't know, all I were thinking Jesse: but we could go somewhere else Jac: I don't want them to know Jac: I wish I didn't know Jesse: Alright Jac: when it's over forget you ever did Jesse: come on Jac: keep it to yourself then Jac: I don't want to talk about it Jesse: you might and I'll be about if you do Jesse: don't mean I'll be shouting about it Jac: nah Jesse: up to you, that Jac: just leave it Jesse: I heard you Jesse: I'll leave it out Jac: Good Jesse: ☕? Jac: no thanks Jac: I don't need stained teeth as well as a ruined womb Jesse: I'll pick you up a whitening kit when I go work in a bit Jac: 🙄 Jac: can't really drink tea through a straw like you can your coffee Jesse: if you're willing to look like a twat you can do owt Jesse: nobody's about to 👀 any road Jesse: I've had customers cracking on with all sorts Jac: I'd sooner be found dead in a ditch than be one of your customers Jesse: charming Jac: like it weren't obvious Jesse: never said it weren't Jesse: still a bit rude Jac: what, that I'm not a pretentious hipster that likes to pretend shit music is amazing and everyone else is too stupid to get it Jesse: that you'd rather 💀 than have a ☕ off me Jac: I don't know why you'd expect different Jesse: I never said that either Jac: then why say anything at all Jesse: 🤐 Jac: about right Jesse: 🤏 Jac: what does that even mean Jesse: it'll do Jac: whatever Jac: not as if there's any choice in the matter Jesse: what does that mean? Jac: you're annoying and you've got nothing to say Jac: that's just how it is Jesse: alright then Jac: yeah, case in point Jesse: suits you often enough that it's the case Jac: yeah, love that I hate you all Jac: it's a right laugh Jesse: for us an' all Jac: as I said, no choice in the matter Jac: just get on with it Jesse: 👍 Jac: I'll do the pills Jesse: I'll be about Jac: whatever Jesse: you've gotta have somebody with you Jac: I'm sure plenty didn't and don't Jac: if it gets to much, call an ambulance Jesse: you heard, I'll be here Jac: and I said, whatever Jesse: let me know when then Jac: 👍 Jesse: 👌 Jac: no, it's not Jesse: no shit Jac: so quit with this shit and acting like it is Jesse: you Jac: I'm not Jac: I just wanna face my time and do it Jesse: I'm getting my head round it Jac: why? Jac: what's to get, it won't be here Jesse: that's to get if nowt else Jesse: you've gotta do this Jac: so, that has nothing to do with you Jac: it's my mistake my problem Jesse: all that shit I've read ain't just going in one 👂 and out the other Jesse: and it don't have to be my mistake or problem for me to be bothered Jac: then don't get someone pregnant Jac: really welcome for the cautionary tale Jesse: tah Jac: just go away and go to bed Jesse: I ain't finished, there'll be sod all point going to bed when I am Jac: great Jesse: I'll live Jac: I don't care about you Jac: I'm trying to sleep Jesse: crack on then Jesse: I won't stop you Jac: I can't sleep when you're down here Jesse: alright, I'll piss off Jac: thank you Jesse: night Jac: yep Jac: [the next day/day after potentially] Jac: I got the pills Jac: if you're still interested Jesse: they give you the 1st one at the clinic or what? Jesse: how I read it Jac: then you know Jac: I'm gonna fake an abortion for your attention? Jac: obviously not Jesse: piss off Jac: I'm not in the mood Jesse: I'd have gone with you Jac: no need Jesse: do you need picking up now? Jac: I had a cab Jac: they make sure you aren't gonna get off in a car and crash or whatever Jesse: you home? Jac: where else Jesse: is anyone else about or what? Jac: yeah, if you didn't want to do this Jac: you should've said from the start Jac: then I wouldn't have bothered with any of this Jesse: if you'd have said you were doing it I'd be there waiting for you Jac: forget it Jac: you're more of a hindrance than a help Jesse: for not being a 🧠📖 yeah alright Jac: no, for making this remotely about you Jac: and being such a fucking pushover Jac: sometimes, you don't take no for an answer Jac: I was fucking terrified last night and you just left Jac: so fuck you, I don't need you now Jesse: you told me to leave Jac: and? Jac: I can't do this right now, Jesse Jac: I'm literally fucking killing my baby as we speak and you still wanna say you were just doing what I said, anything for an easy life Jac: you're not my problem now, I shouldn't have picked you, simple as Jesse: well you fucking did pick me Jesse: and you know why Jesse: that's about you, not me Jac: because at one point you could be fucking relied upon Jac: my mistake you're actually useless now, well great, thank you SO much Jesse: I got it wrong Jesse: I'm sorry Jac: I needed you to break through Jac: at least try, my God Jesse: I thought you needed space Jesse: I don't know Jac: I don't have enough of that Jac: it's convenient for you to all leave me alone now Jac: you don't like me, whatever Jac: I just needed you to put that aside for this Jesse: piss off, I've fucking tried for a year Jesse: I don't know how to do this with you any more, I don't know you Jac: this isn't run of the mill Jac: it's pretty special circumstances Jac: it is to me Jesse: tah for that, I hadn't realised Jesse: fucking hell Jac: can you just stop Jesse: yeah Jac: Are you gonna come home or what? Jesse: I'm on my way Jac: okay Jesse: is anyone else there or what? Jac: I think Cammie and Jameson were but I just came straight down so they didn't try to talk to me Jac: they might've gone by now Jesse: I'll come in that way Jac: I wasn't just being a bitch, by the way Jac: I bled through the pad I put on Jesse: it don't matter if you were, they'll live Jesse: do you need me to get you anything? Jac: they're used to it too Jac: I've got the painkillers Jesse: I'll just hurry up then Jac: won't be going anywhere Jesse: [we're not saying anything because we're hurrying lol] Jac: [fairplay hen] Jesse: [is gonna bring her loads of things that she could possibly want though obvs to a laughable degree] Jac: [a hot water bottle is a good idea so say you thought of that lol] Jesse: [yeah, cue montage of him giving her a comical amount of things that she lowkey doesn't want or need but there will be some useful shit in there too] Jac: [okay so just watched a quick video, and the worst is infection, sepsis as very worst, it not all coming away, or the tablets not working and this is worked out by going through more than 2 pads an hour with blood, a bad smell down there, a really high fever and the pain not being helped like at all by pain relief methods; we'll let that not happen because it is enough lol, so the basics are severe pain, cramps and blood, nausea, vomiting, diarhea, being shivery hot, you pass tissue and clots and this is meant to take 1-2 days but can last TIL YOUR NEXT PERIOD, the cramps also last about TWO WEEKS, pregnancy symptoms should ease after a couple of days, like being sick, but you can still have tender breasts for several weeks, you can't take the test to confirm the pregnancy is terminated 'til THREE WEEKS later, because the hormones stay around, you aren't allowed sex for 2 weeks BUT IF YOU DO YOU CAN GET PREGNANT IMMEDIATELY AFTER AN ABORTION but like we won't be, you're also not allowed to bath for 2 days and if you have a shower you have to have someone there in case you faint] Jac: [thought we should have this v basic rundown] Jesse: [thank god he is there and not leaving her for a bloody second because I can't even] Jac: [this is what we say when nobody WANTS an abortion hun, this is brutal, we're so rude] Jesse: [worst christmas ever] Jac: [yeah this tops last year and yours before that Amelia, not that we having a competition but hey ho] Jesse: [also thank god that we said that birthday flower drama happened and they broke up so Amelia isn't there casually like oh hey] Jac: [I was thinking if we do want her to know/be real drama, she could try to hit her up, it is Christmas lol] Jesse: [yeah that's always an option because she'll never get you pregnant hun] Jac: [oops, I meant that the other way around, did not write that properly, like Amelia tryna be a bit casual like hey don't be mad it's Xmas and then Jac could flip and it'll obviously be more than the flowers] Jesse: [well that makes sense because it's Amelia she's probably bought her a christmas gift yet again lol] Jac: [that was my vibe lol, god knows how my boo will be feelsy/rude with that] Jesse: [I was thinking she should get her another gay book that relates to their life like she did last year but like folded up inside is a portrait cos she hasn't done one of her since that one when they were like tweens] Jac: [you can find a list I bet, at least you don't know about the gay baby there isn't, that would be too close to the nose] Jesse: [blatantly like a chanel lipstick because we got the lip balm a year before, a theme so yeah leave that for the bae like you did last year] Jac: [a vibey vibe tbh, soz you do not know what you're coming into] Jac: [but yes, this is gonna be a bonding moment for you two, because it'll stop being like let's talk about it and you'll just have to do it, at least 2 days of the worst, you'll have to distract and comfort anywhich ways you can think of, probably lots of old movies and eating comforting junk, I'm just deciding if we tell JJ ourself or make Jesse rn hmm] Jesse: [I love that for you two even though it has to be in such horrible circumstances, I think he should do it because they'll blatantly still speak to her but at least she won't have to start the convo herself] Jac: [yeah, that makes sense as a moment 'cos we aren't stupid and this is gonna be suspish to all of us but at least then we can keep the other kids mainly Jude from being like HEWWO] Jesse: [yeah because Jude is the last thing we need rn no offense hen but he's literally not leaving her and even he isn't the music bit THAT much plus we said he had a show that he's just skipping which Jude would probably know so she'd be like ??! if not] Jac: [like, I'm down for mentioning that is a thing or having her come into the inbox but we don't need it to get to deathcon 5 levels, like we don't have the energy so she'd just be ignored and I won't make you self-RP] Jesse: [we know it's a thing and we know the vibe] Jac: [mhmm, like at the minute we've probably simply forgotten but we will circle back 'round when we're not quite so in traumatic shock] Jesse: [poor Jude just like why is everyone ignoring me, god bless] Jac: [lmao GIMME THAT ATTENTION, truly JJ I dunno how you tell someone to stop without giving up the info but you've gotta somehow] Jesse: [distract her somehow lads, it's nearly christmas there is shit you can do] Jac: [just going on a suspish amount of Christmas activities haha i live] Jesse: [I feel bad for you hen but like all will become clear one day] Jac: [sadly how it's gonna be]

[anti-pasto]

for the 200 ask thingy, i actually dare you to do all of them. :D

delgaskarthalexhere we go, anon: 

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now, I don’t get them often (if I ever had a crush at all)

199: I was born in: 2003

198: I am really: A 2005 emo kid x a 2008 scene kid x a 2014 tumblr fangirl x Kyle himself

 197: My cellphone company is: Apple

194: My ring size is: Honestly? No idea. Propose to me with a sword.

 193: My height is: Somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″

192: I am allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of 

191: My 1st car was:  94 Station Wagon, by request

190: My 1st job was: being this funny is a full-time gig

 189: Last book you read: Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

188: My bed is: “made”

187: My pet: I have a cat, I love her very much and I will show her to you if you dm me a cursed image

186: My best friend: We don’t use “best friend” for personal reasons, but they’ve been with me since I was 5 so, my one and only Bro

185: My favorite shampoo is: anything with “silky smooth” or “strawberries” on the bottle. i’m not that picky anymore.

184: Xbox or ps3: xbox or ps4  xbox

183: Piggy banks are: really useful

 182: In my pockets: wallet, keys, phone, earbuds, black pen/pencil, earplugs, mini flashlight

 181: On my calendar:  i’m meeting a friend for smoothies tomorrow

 180: Marriage is: something we shouldn’t push so much onto people. it’s a declaration of love, not an end-all fix-all to your life. i can’t ever see myself getting married but who knows!

 179: Spongebob can: continue to be a relevant meme

178: My mom: i mean. we function. i can’t really complain about my family at large but i am defiantly looking forward to living literally as far away from them as i can. 

 177: The last three songs I bought were? psh, you think i pay for music? (folie a deux, lake effect kid, believers never die volume two) (those are albums but its okay)

176: Last YouTube video watched: I watched Markiplier play Uno

175: How many cousins do you have? 11? 12? I lost count

174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother

 173: Are your parents divorced? Nope!

172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes, I have been for a while

171: Do you play an instrument? dude HECK yeah! i vibe on piano, guitar, ukulele, clarinet, and im a drum major

170: What did you do yesterday? I went on a drive by myself.

 [ I Believe In ] 

169: Love at first sight: Nope.

168: Luck: Yes, but luck is something that can be engineered

167: Fate: To an extent

 166: Yourself: I’d say overall, yeah. I still have doubts tho

165: Aliens: Mmmmmm yeah

 164: Heaven: Yes

163: Hell: Yes

162: God: Yeup

 161: Horoscopes: without an ounce of truth, they would have died a long time ago

160: Soul mates: the greeks had seven words for love. i think we have multiple soul mates to fit each of those categories. there are definitely people we’re just meant to vibe with

159: Ghosts: i want to say yes but i really dont know

158: Gay Marriage: yes. its 2020. grow up.

157: War: in theory? no. war is kinda messed up. in reality? not everyone is going to be down to nice diplomatic conflict resolution, and not everyone is just gonna leave people *countries* they don’t like alone, so...

156: Orbs: ??? energies are real

155: Magic: vibes are real

 [ This or That ]

 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: i am a child of jesus

152: Phone or Online: online

 151: Red heads or Black haired:  irdc but black hair bc i am Emo

150: Blondes or Brunettes: blonde?? ig?? easier to dye

149: Hot or cold: hot weather + cold rooms

148: Summer or winter: summer

147: Autumn or Spring: autum (screw spring)

 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla

145: Night or Day: night

 144: Oranges or Apples: oranges (better to share with homies)

 143: Curly or Straight hair: i dont care but curly

 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonald give iced coffee

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate

 140: Mac or PC: pc for vidgya gaemes

139: Flip flops or high heals: ...converse. please. i cant walk properly in either of those

 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 

 137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama: this is kinda outdated but obama

135: Burried or cremated: cremated i aint watch spn for nothin

134: Singing or Dancing: singing. at least that gets better with practice

133: Coach or Chanel: chanel (thank u mr frank ocean and also the neighborhood)

 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: whomst

 131: Small town or Big city: big city and if you say small town you’ve never lived in a small town

 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target

 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: who tf is this

 128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk dude probably pedicure i don’t like people touching my hands and i use them for too much to get my nails done

127: East Coast or West Coast: hnngggggggg west coast has more to do but east coast has better beaches and 

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday 

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate bc then i can give u some

124: Disney or Six Flags: ive only been to disney so disney (though i AM a HARDCORE rollercoaster stan so it wouldnt take much for me to say six flags)

123: Yankees or Red Sox: what 

 [ Here’s What I Think About ]

 122: War: unfortunately sometimes necessary but not as a first resort i went over this already 

 121: George Bush: is that the shoe guy?

 120: Gay Marriage:  be gay. do crime. kiss wife. or husband. or partner. basically, hell yeah

119: The presidential election: america need 2 b single and focus on herself

 118: Abortion: pro-choice and that choice should be made by the one carrying the baby

117: MySpace: tumblr’s dad

116: Reality TV: don’t talk to about abt this

 115: Parents: disgusting. go to therapy. 

114: Back stabbers: if you’re gonna stab me in the back, pull my lungs through my ribcage bc that’s what my ancestor’s ghosts are gonna do to you (thanks great (x a few times) grandma viking ily thanks for the hair:) )

113: Ebay: good for merch and selling books

 112: Facebook: zuck my dick, data-theif

111: Work: i like doing work? like- i enjoy completing tasks and seeing my hard work pay off? it’s not that bad?

110: My Neighbors: old. boring. want me to babysit for free.

109: Gas Prices: i cant really complain rn they’re kinda low and im a little broke so

108: Designer Clothes: i vibe to them, honestly

 107: College: not for everyone but definitely for me

106: Sports: marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport but only technically speaking though you can make fair comparisons to sports such as cheer, and gymnastics where the idea is to put on a show and receive a score in the form of competition. 

 105: My family: disgusting

104: The future: the future doesn’t exist

 [ Last time I ] 

103: Hugged someone: god, don’t ask me this

 102: Last time you ate: uhhh like 9 hours ago? it was dinner and i had pizza

 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: three or four weeks ago by best bro came to visit and we vibed

100: Cried in front of someone: i finished twist and shout at school at the end of a very bad week. it was only a few tears but that’s as close as i get to crying

99: Went to a movie theater: whenever the last star wars movie came out

98: Took a vacation: last year i went to dc over summer break to see the Smithsonian, it was a lot of fun. i was supposed to go to altanta and florida this year but that didn’t happen for reasons

 97: Swam in a pool: last week

 96: Changed a diaper: never

 95: Got my nails done: never

 94: Went to a wedding: its been at least 6 years dude

93: Broke a bone: never, somehow

 92: Got a peircing: nope

91: Broke the law: technically, yesterday. 55 is too slow

90: Texted: just now

 [ MISC ] 

89: Who makes you laugh the most: the person in my snap named “junior”

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cat

87: The last movie I saw: probably into the spiderverse

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: things going back to normal. or somewhat normal. i need school to have a schedule bc i absolutely cannot force myself to function without outside influence

 85: The thing im not looking forward to: ironically, school in the fall. the way we’re going back is going to wreck me more than lockdown already has

 84: People call me: i only ft one of my bros and they know who tf they are if you ask to ft you’re getting fuckin blocked mate i dont do that shit video calls are for WORK and SCHOOL thats IT. but ppl call me by my nickname irl, i go by screech on here. 

83: The most difficult thing to do is: listen to my parent’s political opinions? live in a small town? force myself to be productive without a physical influence and reminder? put up with that one dude?

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

 81: My zodiac sign is: scoprio/leo/gemini

80: The first person i talked to today was: the potential bassist for our potential band? 

79: First time you had a crush: uhh im still not sure if it was a crush but i wanted them to myself and they wanted (and got) someone better. we were just friends so it doesn’t really matter

 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: the person on snap named “the great oracle”

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday, it was my brother

 76: Right now I am talking to: in order of snap names, “vibin ~[^.^]~”, “russian umbrella”, and “mom” (not really)

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully, a job that makes me happy

74: I have/will get a job: as soon as i know what’s going on with school. but like as an adult? wherever will hire me and pay my fairly. being a barista would be fun, but at a local place (not in my current town)

73: Tomorrow: ???? time for bad poetry: tomorrow i will see my friend/ admist this lasting chaos/ we will be each other’s solitude/ while sharing fruity drinks/ and when we both come home/ a smile we will bring

72: Today: idk what this means so more poetry: today i will be sleep deprived as always/ i will think of them and weep/ but no tears will fall from my eyes/ for i know there is a reason/ we went our own way

 71: Next Summer: i fr dont know whats goin on so: next summer i will be/ as happy as can be/ because i will be in pain no longer/ the earth is sure to heal/ and i will heal with her/ so i can enjoy/ the heatwave of next summer

70: Next Weekend: next weekend i will spend/ my days wasting away/ maybe ill finish hannibal/ again/ not that serial killers make the dopamine stay/ i will not see my friends/ or talk to my family/ i will seldom eat/ and live off coffee/ this has been my life/ all quarintine/ god someone please help me

 69: I have these pets: i have four cats, three chickens, and a dog

 68: The worst sound in the world: my dad and grandpa talking

 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Them

 66: People that make you happy: snap name time: the great oracle, junior, vibin ~[^.^]~, russian umbrella, mom, hero, booby-king 48, go to bed, son, pooper trooper, mac&cheese, plain egg biscuit, apple pie

 65: Last time I cried: i dont cry bitch (last week over officals that cant make up they gottdamned mindes)

64: My friends are: my family and i would die for each and all of them

 63: My computer is: an old hp but it play gaemes real good so it okie

 62: My School: is trash but the band pops off

61: My Car: old, fast, clean

60: I lose all respect for people who: are my dad

 59: The movie I cried at was: i cried over big hero six

 58: Your hair color is: blonde

57: TV shows you watch: supernatural, good omens, hannibal, parks and rec

56: Favorite web site: this hellsite or youtube

 55: Your dream vacation: out of the country with beautiful beaches, amazing food, and my best friend

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: the time i split the back of my head open, the time i split my chin open, and the time my then best friend said they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. i’ll let you guess which one hurt the most and which one i think about every fucking day

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium well. 

52: My room is: clean and a reflection of myself, or so i’ve been told

51: My favorite celebrity is: i do not engage in celebrity worship. ill follow them and reblog gifs/interviews but i dont really have a favorite. the less i know abt them the better.

 50: Where would you like to be: my own apartment in nyc

49: Do you want children: FUCK THEM KIDS BRO

 48: Ever been in love: i dont know if it was love. i dont know if it was a crush. what i do know id that i was attached and they didn’t feel the same, and why would they?

 47: Who’s your best friend: we dont really use best friend bc but “the great oracle” “junior” and “vibin ~[^.^]~”

46: More guy friends or girl friends: its 50/50

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: goin fast, the beach, playin video games

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: them

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: go to college, earn degree

 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: commit arson

 41: Have you pre-named your children: FUCK. THEM. KIDS. BRO.

40: Last person I got mad at: they do not understand that they do not know everything about something they’re not even involved in yet

39: I would like to move to: new zealand

38: I wish I was a professional: artist? musican? youtuber? who knows

 [ My Favorites ] 

37: Candy: nerds

36: Vehicle: 1970 mustang gt

 35: President: jfk only bc his assassination is the only good thing abt american history the rest of it is fucked up and shouldn’t have happened. also jfk’s song in assassians the musical goes hard

34: State visited: california

 33: Cellphone provider: verizon? apple? idfk

32: Athlete: what is sport

31: Actor: i don't watch shows or movies

30: Actress: i do not consume media

29: Singer: alex gaskarth or alexander deleon

 28: Band: fall out boy 

 27: Clothing store: hot topic (i will not apologize)

 26: Grocery store: okay harris teeter fucks but lidil’s has aloe vera juice and target at 9 pm energy so idk man 

25: TV show: supernatural...

24: Movie: big hero 6

 23: Website: tumblr or youtube

 22: Animal: snow leopard 

 21: Theme park: busch gardens bc roller coaster go fast

20: Holiday: christmas

19: Sport to watch: snowboarding bc its like skateboarding but on snow

18: Sport to play: anything with havy footwork (marching band is a sport)

17: Magazine: i do not condume media

16: Book: the ranger’s apprentice series as a whole makes up my all-time one favorite book

 15: Day of the week: friday bc its game day baybey

14: Beach: cocoa beach in florida but also i have so much left to experience 

13: Concert attended: i havent been to any notable gigs but i was supposed to go to hella mega

 12: Thing to cook: pancakes

11: Food: pizza or shushi

 10: Restaurant: chiplote

 9: Radio station: i like my local rock station and my local edm/top 40 station

8: Yankee candle scent: anything smoky or vanilla idc

7: Perfume: chanel no. 5 if i even wear it

6: Flower: Hydrangea

5: Color: orange

 4: Talk show host: cecil palmer

 3: Comedian: john maulaney

 2: Dog breed: yes

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ;)

That was a trip. But it was fun, please do things like this more often. Also, I don’t consume media by choice. I’m not sheltered I just can’t be bothered, and I have enough going on. That being said I will now be sleeping. Thanks again, Anon, I hope you have fun reading this :D