#Calicohands

[disabledpirate]

[artsyhamster]

CJizzy week time 8)

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Izzy Ship Alignment for S2

Spoilers for if you want to avoid s2 Izzy talk. (minor spoilers for the S2 teaser, and the interview Con did last December) PLEASE disagree with my rankings. I would love to know how y'all feel about this.

I saw someone online reference the tiny interview Con had last December about Izzy's direction this season. Where it's referenced that Izzy understands himself emotionally, and is a romantic in a unrequited love.

I thought the obvious, 'Oh, Izzy/Ed, Izzy recovers from that'. BUT someone on TikTok mentioned how funny it would be if it were an unexpected character he ends up with.

SO I made this outcome chart:

The vertical columns: How it would affect the story. In a Chaotic way, a neutral way, or a 'lawful' way where I feel that it benefits the world/story around Izzy.

Horizontal columns: How bat shit I would go. Evil = I will never emotionally recover, THE DRAMA. Neutral I'm having a lovely time, and enjoying the ride. Good= YES! CHARACTER GROWTH!!!!

This is not me ranking ships, but the general vibe they bring to the plot we can see from the trailer. EXPLANATIONS DOWN BELOW.

Lawful Good: Single, but happy: This is where I predict s2 will end off. It's smart. Izzy is out of an emotional relationship where he's under his boss. He's finally free. He can be happy and single, or go into S3 looking for someone.

Neutral Good: ButtHands: It wouldn't change much in the story, but overall I'd think it's fun. Purely for the confusion of it all. They don't like each other...and yet.

Chaotic Good: Blackhands: It would change a lot in the story, and I wouldn't recover. Especially if it's just an unemotional one-off that leaves Izzy devastated. I don't think it would work...but the character growth???? Unmatched.

Lawful Neutral: Ouizzy, I love it, it's really fun, and it wouldn't change all that much in the story. It wouldn't force Izzy to change too much, besides maybe being kinder. Frenchie gets another bodyguard, and the banter would be fun.

Ture Neutral: Jizzy. They are almost the same person but Jim is supported by someone in their lives. I don't personally see it, but I do see that these two would get on together. Mild changes to the story, and I'd be satisfied with it.

Chaotic Neutral: SteddyHands: COULD YOU IMAGINE. A mainstream tv show with a poly couple as leads? And it's messy as fuck? It would take another season to set up, likely introducing Stizzy this season, and ending it off in the middle in S3. But it would have major consequences in the story, and I wouldn't be well after.

Lawful Evil: Rizzy: Izzy is able to be his tired, overworked, and violent self with someone who gets that at some level. It moves the plot forward while also being a badass scary couple.

Neutral Evil: RETROACTIVE CALICOHANDS WOULD HURT. Ngl, finding out Izzy sent someone he kind of cared about would affect Izzy's story, but not the overall plot. I wouldn't recover, Izzy would have a big regret arch, and I'd write fix it's.

Chaotic Evil: Just Stizzy. A freshly 'single' Izzy leaves Ed, and goes to find Stede, but oh no. Stede genuinely wants to get better and be loyal to his crew. Izzy finds himself falling infatuated with his boss' ex. Stede still loves Ed and is going to find Ed. But Izzy just has to chew on his lip as he falls for his Captain AGAIN. Stede needs to figure out that you can love people in different ways. We get a messy love triangle and STEDE is in the center. I WANT THIS. I won't get it. BUT WHAT IF.

[I forgot Lucius/Izzy, but to me, it sits right at the True Neutral or Chaotic Neutral. It wouldn't change too much in the overall plot. It shows huge growth for both people. The only reason it would be Chaotic is how Izzy would be perceived by the crew]

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

No but it blows my mind that we never actually saw Izzy and Calico Jack interacting... Like we know they knew each other in the past and we know they talked to each other before the events of We Gull Way Back... I want to see them in the same room! I want to know what the vibe is! Hello!!

[jellybeanium124]

calico jack the tik tok influencer and his tummy troubled boyfriend

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

The way that I'm so sure that Calico Jack calls Izzy "sugar tits". Even if they're not dating or fucking. Even if they've only met one time and it was when Izzy tried to get Jack to go get Ed and Izzy came away thinking that Jack was lazy and unserious and Jack came away thinking Izzy is an uptight bootlicker and they hate each other, Jack still calls him Sugar Tits. It's a universal truth.

[blakbonnet]

Jack spending weeks trying to get Izzy into bed by making increasingly blatant innuendos and coming on real hard but Izzy with his shit self esteem and just a general lack of any idea what flirting even is doesn't get it at all and Jack keeps falling flat on his face with every little eyebrow waggle

Jack: Is that a roll of doubloons in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? 😏

Izzy: ... are you an idiot? It's a fucking carrot!

[laceratedlamiaceae]

An Improper Little Seductress

words: 16,060.

tags: Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, Getting Together, 5+1 Things, Fluff and Humor, Innuendo

After being banished from the Revenge, Izzy has a plan to save Edward from Stede. Before he gets a chance to put it into action, he runs into Calico Jack, who has a way of derailing plans. Fortunately for Izzy, Jack has a better plan: Jack will teach Izzy how to seduce Ed. And if, in the process, Jack ends up seducing Izzy, well... Would that be so bad? Or: 5 things Jack taught Izzy about Ed and 1 thing Ed taught Izzy about Jack.

[wearfinethingsalltoowell]

My HC is that Jack’s liked Izzy for as long and as obviously as Izzy has liked Ed

It’s the pining chain —Jack likes Izzy, Izzy likes Ed, Ed likes Stede, Stede’s reading the crew a story or something idk

[calicojavk]

calico jack calling izzy various slightly misogynistic nicknames like baby girl and princess and no one knows why until they run into the William at sea and the first thing anne bonny does when she sees jack is call him baby girl

[disabledpirate]

[faggvert]

head empty only izzy titties

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

New CalicoJack/IzzyHands Fic!

When Jack Rackham sank into the depths of Blind Man's Cove, he didn't die. He changed. Later he finds a ship missing its usual captains, and Izzy Hands recovering from a shot in his side

A Post S2 [Selkie] CalicoHands story.

Currently at around 6k words, updating as it gets completed! I have this full fic outlined and can't wait to share more <3

[andithil]

Title: Where There's A Whip Rating: E Words: 1422 Pairings: Calico Jack/Whip, Calico Jack/Izzy Hands Tags: Masturbation, Autoerotic Asphyxiation, Near Death, Missing Scene, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Don't Try This At Home, special guest star Jim Jimenez Summary: Jack turns to the one partner that's never turned him down.

Took me a HOT minute but I finally finished my first lil' OFMD fic... please mind the tags and let me know if you enjoy it! :>

[darkfire359]

My personal ranking of Izzy ships, based entirely on how much I like them:

1. Blackhands: My beloved toxic dumpster fire! Izzy just has so many feelings here, it’s hard to not want to focus on it. Probably a personal favorite just because of all the interesting power dynamics here (which I love). Hard to ever have a happy ending with this ship, but that’s okay.

2. Steddyhands: I feel like all my favorite fics are this. A good way to get the fun of Blackhands without everyone involved being miserable forever. I love it when the dynamic is “experienced vet helping new intern with world’s meanest cat.” I love it when the dynamic is “divorced couple get a marriage counselor, repair their marriage, also marry the marriage counselor.” And I love it when it’s just straight-up Ed and Stede conspiring together to seduce their grumpy first mate. So many fun takes on this!

3. Lusrael: I ship it more every time I see Nathan and Con do anything together. I think it’s the single most likely ship to happen in canon (not counting the Blackhands failmarriage). I think I’m personally just a little less excited by the dynamic in fics.

4. Gentlehands: Hard for this to not just be Steddyhands, but I do appreciate it on its own. Probably my favorite angle is “bitter rivals must team up to win back their ex, have hatesex, spend the whole time imagining their rival is actually their ex, accidentally fall in love.”

5. Calicohands: This ship made me actually like Jack as a character, sometimes. I think Jack’s style of affection of affection is something Izzy could actually accept (tackle-hugs, nuggies, friendly shoulder punch, etc) and while it’s not optimal, our poor baby might be touch-starved enough to like it anyway. I also like Jack having unrequited feelings and the resulting angst (in case you couldn’t tell from my #1 ship).

6. Jackie/Izzy: They’re actually friends, maybe! And Jackie would be the type of dom Izzy would love. Izzy does seem more gay than bi to me though, unfortunately.

7. Izzy/OC: Obviously highly variable. I’ve certainly enjoyed Izzy/Bryce from HoHW quite a lot, as well some other one-off portrayals of Sam. But #7 is probably appropriate in terms of how likely I am to actively seek out such fics.

8. Ivan/Fang/Izzy: I think I saw some art of this like once and it was good art. Also I see David and Con taking newlywed pics together and it makes me like Fang/Izzy more. IDK. They’re there, they know each other, it could happen.

9. Izzy/Roach: They both like sharp weapons. Roach at least tried to give Izzy a sandwich once, which was nice. But they don’t have much actual or implied interaction in the show.

10. Jim/Izzy: I’m very excited about them together platonically. Maybe it could work romantically? But unlike Lucius and Pete, Jim/Olu don’t come off as quite so poly.

11. Izzy/Pete: They could bond over being Blackbeard fans. They could get together by both dating Lucius. Possibilities exist.

11. Izzy/Frenchie: I’ve enjoyed some fics of this, but overall, I admittedly don’t see the appeal. Frenchie taunted Izzy with “In your face, Jizzy!” after he lost the duel. Izzy held Frenchie at gunpoint in a scary (rather than a sexual tension-y) way. It feels like this ship is just happening because Frenchie and Izzy are stuck on the same ship together post-e10.

12. Izzy/Buttons: Butthands is a terrible name. I think Buttons is in a monogamous relationship with the sea. Good art though.

13. Izzy/Wee John: John is big and could lift Izzy in a princess carry. I can’t think of anything else to say here.

14. Izzy/Olu: I feel like this would be a healthy relationship for Izzy, because Olu is the type of person who has healthy relationships. Therefore, Izzy would never go for him.

15. Izzy/Swede: I feel like Izzy would actually hate this. The Swede is probably the least competent member of the Revenge crew. This relationship would be a disaster and not in the fun way like Blackhands is.

16. Izzy/Mary: I really really like them platonically. So much. But I feel like a romance would make negative sense.

17. Izzy/Chauncey: This actually skeeves me out, no.

[jellybeanium124]

cj and izzy would agree that falling in love would be gay and then they straight up just don't.