#Camilla rambles

[featherbreak]

USE ME. (a cinematic Camilla Hect cosplay music video)

notes & TWs:

TW for fake blood. heart crimes abound. I filmed all of this during 3 days of intense hyperfixation in October/November 2023, and after much Life Happened, edited it all together in June/July 2024. it is a labor of love, an embarrassing love letter to the more-unhinged-than-she-lets-on codependent cavalier exemplar that is Camilla Hect, and an intense appreciation for the "psychosexual mess of roleplaying and bad meals" that is Nona the Ninth.

i hope you enjoy it. i have more thoughts & stills to share, but i need to fling this into the internet before i continue to overthink it and utterly lose my nERVE AFTER ALL THESE MONTHS AAJFSkdhgfdhg

[ashennflame]

I decided to make playlists for each of the Greek students in The Secret History.

A few things to note about each playlist:

I purposefully made it so that each playlist has exactly 100 songs in it so that I can force myself to discover new music in order to fill out the playlists as well as properly capture an exact vibe while still having diversity in each playlist.

I wanted each playlist to be completely unique, therefore there are no exact overlapping songs in any of them, with the exception of different covers of the same song being in multiple playlists.

This is how I personally interpret each student to an extent, and it may be a bit different compared to others.

The playlists are mostly based off of vibes. There are songs whose lyrics as well as vibe fit the character (in my mind), but there are also songs that are based solely off of the vibe even if the lyrics don't fit.

The songs in each playlist may change over time as I find new music that I feel better fits over another.

I hope that these playlists can be thoroughly enjoyed!

[Characters associated with each playlist in order]

Richard Papen

Henry Winter

Bunny Corcoran

Francis Abernathy

Charles Macaulay

Camilla Macaulay

[darlingian]

The locked tomb books just keep showing examples of true love in all its extremes. In a couple examples: Abigail and Magnus who would have died rather than go through the lyctoral process. A sweet and tender sort of love. Ianthe and Coronabeth who keep making decisions to come back to eachother for better or for worse (usually worse) regardless of who they hurt or use in the process. Palamedes and Camilla who are two halves of one whole, who show over and over the meaning of real loyalty and absolute commitment. 

And then there’s Harrowhark and Gideon. Messy, mean, awful, hurtful, beautiful, scathing, riotous, bruised, devoted, desperate, and despairing, to the ends of the universe, sort of love. These books show all kinds of love outside of the romantic, often easy, sort of love. I absolutely adore what Tamsyn Muir has explored in these books. That in the life and death of it all, who wants to kiss who is not nearly as important as who would you kill god for? 

[quadrantadvisor]

Owl House/Boiling Isles biology headcanons from a fic idea I never wrote:

Witches have a wider range of color vision than humans. A lot of magic puts off infrared light (meaning Luz is missing out on like, half of what spells actually look like).

Humans, however, have a better sense of smell. Witches are better at digesting potentially hazardous materials, but humans have to worry about poisons. Humans are also highly specialized to smell petrichor (via Wikipedia, "able to detect it at concentrations as low as 0.4 parts per billion"), and witches can't smell it at all. (Luz is like, "I miss the rain smells in the human realm so much. On the Boiling Isles the rain just smells like burning :/" and all her friends are like, "what. are you talking about."

Witches don't have an appendix, but they do, coincidentally, also have a random organ that doesn't have much of a purpose and sometimes ruptures and kills you. It's located slightly above the right lung.

Kinda obvious but, ears. Witch ears have a greater curve than human ears and taper into a point. They have some limited mobility, allowing the witch to pinpoint sounds, and they play a part in emotional expression. For a witch, it's not really that strange that human ears are round, it's more that they don't move at all. They're completely stiff, and it makes humans difficult to read. (Luz is lucky she's otherwise very expressive, or else she would come off as nearly emotionless. As it is, sometimes people think she's not being genuine, because her ears don't match the rest of her expression, like when someone smiles without their eyes.)

Humans have slightly denser bones than witches. As a result, humans weigh a bit more on average and put on muscle easier.

Witches can't digest lactose

A high tolerance for most human poisons means that alcohol isn't a popular drug for witches. It technically affects them in a similar way, but their tolerance is such that it's not an effective way to get high. Most of the drugs used recreationally on the Boiling Isles would kill a human instantly.

Witches have a different pulse beat from humans, since their hearts are designed differently to accommodate the bile sac (and grimwalkers' pulses are even more unique, since they have a galdorstone. Rather than the thump of blood valves, Grimwalkers have a sort of magic hum that pulses their circulatory system.)

[wondrousmay]

Hmm, it’s interesting that Endo-sensei has his own colour-scheme for the city hall girls that’s different from the anime. This is his second time that he drew Millie and Camilla with different hair and eye colours than the anime.

Credits to wak_on_spy for the reference

[joznii]

her shenanigans take 10 years off his life

[curtwilde]

Henry vs Julian

I have been thinking about this a lot. While Henry clearly admires and models his scholar self on Julian, their essential difference is in how they perceive the Ancient Greeks.

Julian's interest in the Ancient Greeks is true interest, he admires their high and exalted values. For him, the Greeks were the highest point of human civilization, and the closer he comes to his own time the more his disdain increases - the Roman Catholic Church he holds in contempt but it's still a 'worthy enemy' not as bad as the Presbyterian Church. It isn't mentioned but he must hold modernism and it's philosophy with disdain - modernist moral vacousness being a direct contradiction of the idealist values loyalty, honor, chastity etc. that were so exalted by the Greeks. Which is why he is always cherry picks, sees only what he wants to see, and invents what he can't - both for himself (his ambiguous involvement with the Isrami government) or for his students (encouraging Richard to lie about his life in California). Since he can't time travel back to Greece himself, he must try to live that life as much as he can and believe himself a character in a Greek play. But it comes, not from a place of wanting to escape his current reality, but true admiration of the ancient Greek way of seeing and doing things.

Henry is a true modernist. The monologue about feeling dead is central to his understanding his character:

Maybe it stems from his near death experience but he sees the world as inherently meaningless, God is dead and heaven and hell have been revealed to be man-made constructs, there is no punishment for evil and since there is no moral line. I think he subconsciously realised all of this before coming to Hampden, but to truly accept it would have been soul-crushing. So he tries to escape it by immersing himself in the Greeks, I imagine the absolutist values, vague representational ideas pertaining to each god might have interested him but really, it could have been anything else, the Medieval Age or the Victorians, anything. He just needed something to be obsessed with, to give meaning to his existence which he subconsciously knew to be meaningless. So is his adoration of Julian, he admired and wanted Julian's ability to almost half-live in another time when, in his view, things mattered more (we have divinity in our midst). It also explains the Bacchanal which is otherwise so out of character for him. The appeal was to escape the soul crushing knowledge of meaninglessness - even if for a while. To worship and call on Dinosiyus with the blind belief of the Ancient Greeks, a kind of belief that simply cannot exist anymore in the postmodern, post-Neitzche world. His harebrained plans also came from the same impulse, including the poison plan, and the one way ticket to Argentina.

I suspect that what subconsciously drove him to murder bunny, aside from the obvious fear of getting caught - is the same thing that drove Mersault to murder the Arab - it's the old existentialist question, if good and bad are relative and there is no punishment for evil, how far can one go? Bunny's murder was Henry's existentialist experiment with himself. And, I think in a way it confirmed for him what he already knew, they escaped unscathed and he didn't feel any of the fear or remorse he expected to feel. While it did give him the momentary sense of power, the feeling that he could now do whatever he wanted if he can be clever enough to not get caught, since he won't be punished for it otherwise. While it gave him enough courage to go get the girl he always wanted - it did confirm for him the inherent meaninglessness of the world. Also, conversely, Camilla could have been another experiment - something must matter, was it love? Camilla was the only girl he knew and he was fond of her - he may not even have thought of her romantically before considering he never cared to act on it in all the time he had known her. But either way, Julian's abandonment broke him.

Coming back to Julian, Julian's abandonment omakes perfect sense to me - he was disgusted by the modernist moral vacousness in his students. He himself was a moral man, but his morals operated on his own standards. He based it on the Greek sense of Honour, not the more modern sense of Justice. His basic instinct was the preservation of his own purity - he couldn't possibly keep on as their teacher. But also, to turn them in would be against his sense of honour - he must have very little respect for the police and law enforcement as institutions being the kind of person he is. Not to mention it would mean his having to be in frequent contact with the police and court. From his point of view atleast, leaving is the only thing he could have done, really.

For Henry however, he sees that his obsession with the Greeks as well as his admiration for Julian as the sham that it really was, is disillusioned with the world, shattered. Except for his fondness for Camilla he didn't really have anyone he loved, he saw his friends as pawns, wasn't close to his family, didn't have any goals in life with everything in his reach with his father's money - the only person he had really loved was Julian, and there he was betrayed. His obsession with the ancient Greeks was also thus tainted with Julian's betrayal - since it wasn't true interest at all, only a disguised attempt at escapism - it wavered and fell apart, and he didn't have a reason to live anymore.

.

Side note : Richard falls between the two. Like Julian, he had a real interest in the ancient Greeks, but he didn't put them on a pedestal like Julian did. He realised that like his own time, and like all other times in history the Greek civilization too had its own good and bad aspects, and he wanted to learn about it for its own sake. But he doesn't make it his life, or use it to escape his own reality - outside of his classes he was very much rooted in his own time.

[jacketpotatoo]

Scavengers Reign is really good and everyone should check it out! It’s an adult sci-fi animated series with the most gorgeous animation and worldbuilding. Very Annihilation by Jeff Vandermeer vibes. There’s a character named Ursula (who’s my fav) and I’m convinced it’s a nod to LeGuin.

[greatandquestionablecontent]

I love the Gender of Palamedes and Pyrrha in Nona the Ninth.

(I’m only 20% into the book so some of these may later be addressed, disproven, etc)

Assuming that Palamades was originally assigned male at birth and Pyrrha was assigned female at birth, and that they were both previously cisgender…

Are they trans in the traditional sense? Well, not exactly. Are they cis in the traditional sense? Well, not exactly.

Is Palamades genderfluid? Not really, presumably. He’s always a guy he just sometimes occupies the body of a woman, in the most literal sense.

Pyrrha has a lot of experiences of a trans woman (as our modern western Earthly understanding goes), like being assumed to be Nona’s father, having frustrating stubble (that Palamades says isn’t worth the risk of necromancing away). Nona absolutely never questions that Pyrrha’s a she, only that Pyrrha used to be like Palamades and Cam but lost her equivalent of Palamades (lots to unpack there too).

Also, ponder what if one of them was already trans? Like, imagine if Pyrrha, 10,000 years ago, was AMAB, transitioned socially and possibly physically, and then after that is now is in a new male* body. But it’s been 10,000 years so she’s used to it, she just wishes the stubble didn’t grow so fast. Her body is strong and useful and she cooks topless in the kitchen. She’s used to being referred to as male, but obviously is she/her at home. Are there ever times she tries to get the public to read her as female or is she content with “boymoding” when out of the house?

They all have so much else going on I don’t imagine they bother with things like binding and tucking and there’s so far no indication Palamedes is concerned with physical dysphoria. Fair enough! He’s just happy to not be a handful of bones! Well, I dunno if “happy” is the primary emotion I’d ascribe to him. That’s Nona’s.

(Tfw ur gender is happy, but in a girl way).

What if Palamades had originally been AFAB and medically and socially transitioned? Coulda done his top “surgery” himself probably lmao.

Camilla binding before her turn is up, out of consideration, is also an interesting vibe to ponder. I kinda like the headcanon that he doesn’t really give a shit but that she would offer it anyway if he wanted. That said, I think binding would be inconvenient and bad for emergency running.

My primary headcanon is that Camilla is a sturdy sports bra kind of gal anyway and that works best for both of them 😎

That’s not even touching on the potentials of trans fem Camilla.

Side note, I’m obsessed with the fact that they leave each other pages and pages of letters. WHAT IS IN THE LETTERS. I don’t even want to know all of it, outside of what’s plot important. I want the fandom to have freedom to go nuts.

These have been your early morning NtN gender thoughts. Thanks for coming to my dead talk.

[flowersforfrancis]

[fizzlewizard404]

/// TOH FINALE PROMO SPOILERS

havent seen anybody bring this up so like. WHERE THE FUCK IS CAMILLA

[featherbreak]

y'allllll I'm going to Dragoncon! for the first time! I wiil have RIBBONS for EVERY CHARACTER because I HEAR THAT IS WHAT YOU DO and also I like gifting/barter cultures, and I am very stoked to share these with folks.

here's when and who to find me as:

Friday: TLT MEETUP TIME! I'll be there as Canaan House version Cam - with my best beloved Pal! (we will be So Matchy.) & a bevy of friends - come trade for a Go Loud ribbon & have a brainrotting good time with us.

Saturday: I'll be running around all day as Nona with a ... uh ... variation on Noodle. it'll be very silly. please come find us.

Sunday: VERY excited to debut this cosplay that only 2 other people in the entire con will recognize, but I'm pleased with how it turned out - everyone's favorite grudge-holding swordswoman Pali Avramapul no I don't have a type idk what you mean from Victoria Goddard's Nine Worlds universe, best known for The Hands of the Emperor and many other stories.

*(I may be there on Monday as well, but have zero planned cosplays.)

I'll post the ribbons after the con, but in the meantime, it'll be a fun side quest! I hope to see folks there!

[gravedangerahead]

TLT characters as these emoji mixes my keyboard lets me make

Gideon:

Harrow:

Nona:

Pyrrha:

Mercymorn:

Jod:

Augustine:

Ianthe:

Cam and Pal:

Part 2 on a reblog

[rizzo-rat]

Sorry in advance

[palamedeeznuts]

I love how much Camilla Hect is always moving. She's so deadpan and stoic so you expect to see her standing stock-still all the time but then it's like "she shifted from foot to foot for a full hour and then tossed five swords from hand to hand for the remainder of the conversation :)"

How in the bone bubble she was probably shuffling her feet and prodding the bone wall and pacing around the perimeter a bit and that's the only reason Gideon remembered she was there at all for that whole scene lmao

(Together with Pal pushing his glasses up his nose all the time, they were just a couple smartass kids who COULD NOT SIT STILL and I love that. Pity the librarian tho.)

[jbm04]

Things Camilla could have discussed with Kiriona during their private truck ride:

Quick update on where they've been/what they are doing. (Not detailed since they seemed short on time?)

Update on the stance of the sixth house in regards to the empire.

Cam could very well have had a "hey I'm dying, I need you to do something for me..." request. (Not her style though I think).

Recruiting Gideon in whatever Cam/Pal's fight was against the empire. Not sure why but I think Gideon would do this.

And another important thing I'm thinking of is:

What if there were instructions in Harrow's letter for Cam regarding Gideon?

I also want to note that I don't think Gideon was joking about being a tactician at the beginning of GtN. I do think she has a plan now. They all just needed to get information and then get in formation. Which is what they were doing in that damn truck.