10. Friends and Family - Part 1
If you’re reading as a one-off, this part (1/2) is set at a small dinner party at Highgrove in early 1987 with Camilla and close friends attending.
If you’re reading as part of Tea Time - this is chapter 10 - part 1.
She’d been in fits of giggles all evening. The sort that, once amplified with a large glass of red wine, were not only infectious but a belly crunching and holding your sides in pain sort of hilarity. And they were feeding off each other. She’d start and he’d not be able to control himself and then they were off again. There were six of them sat at the dinner table and she’d been on cracking form all night. Until she got the giggles. At one point she was bent double in laughter, clutching onto his hand to try and control herself. He found her so funny, tears were streaming down his rosy cheeks and he absently stroked her back whilst she recovered. This didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the party but they were too busy enjoying themselves to comment. After eventually regaining control of their faculties, they sat properly again, their chairs a little closer together than before. He reached for the bottle in the middle of the table and started to top up glasses.
“Darling, if you pour me any more, I’ll be quite tipsy.”
“You’re already tipsy, my love. Stay over. Then it doesn’t matter.”
This did cause a few eyebrows to raise about the table but neither of them noticed.
“Well let’s see who needs a top up. We don’t want anyone falling behind.” They all looked towards Martin who lifted the other bottle of wine and filled up everyone’s glass to the brim, ignoring Camilla’s protests.
“To sit in solemn silence on a dull, dark dock…”
“In a pestilential prison with a life long lock.”
It was Charles’s turn and he joined in easily. “Awaiting the sensation of a short sharp shock.”
“From a check and chicky chopper… oh, for fuck’s sake.” She fumbled the line and reached for her drink. “You pick the one that’s practically a tongue twister.”
“Drink up, Darling. Never mind. You can choose the next one.”
She took a swig of her drink and held it up. “The Mikardo!” The rest of the party laughed and toasted with her. “This one’s difficult… I am the very model of a modern Major-General…”
Everybody laughed, watching the next person eagerly.
“I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral.”
“I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical…”
“Hear, hear!”
“From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical…”
“I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters Mathematical…”
Charles smirked as he recited his line, “I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical…” then looked at her as her face fell.
“For absolute fuck’s sake. Who the fuck even knows that line?!” She drank from her drink without attempting it.
“It’s easy, Darling. ‘About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news, with many cheerful facts about the square of the…’”
“…Hypotenuse! Yes I know that bit! I’m not playing this. You’re all too good at it. I’ll be passed out paralytic in ten minutes. Charles, Darling, go and get us a pack of cards. I’ve got something we can play.”
“Strip poker?”
“Piss off, Phillip.”
“Seen as you’re the only female.”
“You too, James.”
“I have a feeling HRH wouldn’t like that.”
“Wouldn’t like what?”
“Us, being inappropriate with you, darling.”
But Charles returned before she could answer.
“Okay, everyone has to choose an animal.”
“What sort of animal?”
“It really doesn’t matter. Any animal. I’ll be a chicken, for example. Darling, Latin for chicken?”
“Gallus gallus. I’ll be a Chironomus.”
“A what?”
“A midge.”
“You’ve chosen a midge?”
“Mytilus edulis! I’ll be that!” Martin beamed across at her. “It’s a mussel, Camilla, darling. Your Latin is shoddy.”
“Wait! You need an action for your animal!”
“Drosophila! And I’ll flap my wings like this!!” James exclaimed.
“What on earth is a mussel going to do?”
Martin closed his hands and opened them up together, his fingers outstretched, making her giggle. “Mytilus edulis!”
“Spheniscidae!!” Phillip started flapping his arms to the side and squarking.
“Good god.” She looked across the table at the men, making ridiculous gestures, including Charles who was buzzing and using his fingers to pinch people, pretending to be a mosquito.
“Oryctolagus cuniculus.” Declared Peter.
“Absolutely not.” She watched him do a pretty good imitation of a bunny rabbit before breaking out into laughter. “Alright, fine. You public schoolboys have to use the Latin and I get to use the English. Then it’s fairer. Darling, deal out all the cards. The game is simple. We turn over our cards together. If your card matches someone else’s, then you call out their animal and do their animal’s action. The first one to do it, wins the cards. If there’s no match, the cards go in the middle. Now, if anyone’s card matches the one in the middle you have to call out a predetermined word to win the cards. What word shall we use?”
“Sex!”
“No.” She paused to control her laughter then cackled as a better idea came to her. “We’ll have an unspecified sexual act. A different one each time!”
The game almost broke the table. With all of them slamming their hands down and shrieking out various animal noises, forgetting the Latin, dancing around rather than miming the action and going to town with different sexual acts; they were in hysterics before the game could end. Charles did particularly poorly, loosing his entire hand due to false shouts and then sat in a state of anticipation to win the middle cards, his sexual suggestions getting more and more depraved. Eventually they came to a stop, jaws aching with laughter, and they moved into the sitting room, where she curled up next to him. That didn’t go unnoticed either but they were both too drunk by this point to think about it.
The conversation got steadily ruder and more raucous the later the evening got and Camilla was finding it increasingly difficult to ignore the incessant pawing that Charles was doing, stroking her hands, rubbing her knee, tickling her, touching her, kissing her even, albeit her arm, her shoulder. Anywhere he could.
“Truth or dare?” Martin’s voice sounded above everyone else. There were general moans of disapproval. “Eton style!”
“Which means?” Camilla wasn’t sure she wanted to know.
“We bully just the one person until they crack.”
There were general murmurs of approval for that.
“So do we pull straws?” Camilla asked.
The rest of them laughed. “No. Nothing democratic like that, Darling. The victim is just chosen.” Charles explained.
“Are we in agreement?” They all spat on their hands and put them in the middle to form a pact. Camilla looked on in disgust.
“Darling, we didn’t actually spit.”
“Oh.” She put her hand tentatively on top of his.
“No. You need to spit on it.”
“Oh.” Bemused, she pretended to spit on her hand and placed it back on Charles’s. “Boys are really weird. We never did anything like this at school.”
“Great!” Martin took charge. “So obviously Wales is the fag.”
Charles rolled his eyes. “No surprises there.”
“And I think we’ll start with a truth. To get the ball rolling.”
“Go on…”
“So are you in love with Camilla or just sleeping with her?”
“Darling, don’t answer that.”
“Shush, Camilla, you agreed.”
“Anyway, he has to.” Peter interrupted.
“Rules of the game,” Charles explained. She shrugged and took a large gulp of wine. “I’m in love with her.”
Murmurs went round the party. “Are you saying that because she’s here in front of you?”
“No. I love her. I love her more than anything.”
“I dare you to prove it.”
Charles reached for her hand and then kissed it. “Darling, could you please leave the room for a minute?”
In a state of shock, Camilla stood up. Peter took her arm and led her out of the room, accompanying her. He followed her out of the room and shut the door.
“Do you love him?” It was a very direct question but she sensed he wanted a real answer.
“Yes.”
“I mean…” he thought for a moment. “I guess I’m asking to what extent?”
“Don’t worry. I’m not about to do a Wallace Simpson.”
“Why not? You love him?”
“Because it would kill him. It’d make a mockery of everything he’s already sacrificed and every ounce of good he’s ever done will go out of the window. What would he do, you know, when everything he’s ever known is gone? Knowing that he’ll never be able to do anything important ever again? That’s his life, you know, even if he doesn’t like it. He’d lose his family, his friends. And we both have children. I can’t do that to them. It would destroy too much.”
“You’ve talked about this?”
“Well, yes, but we’re both of the agreement that…”
He interrupted her. “So we’re not talking about a desperate love affair, then?”
“Are we not? It feels very desperate to me. I won’t ever be the next Duchess of Windsor. But I need him, and I love him.”
“Why?”
“Because… because he’s funny and sweet and so passionate about everything. And I can’t stop thinking about him. Everything reminds me of him. I don’t know. I don’t know why I love him. I just do. There’s nothing really logical about it. He’s like my reflection, I guess. Inescapable. How long are we expected to shroud every shiny item? Because that’s all we’re doing. Covering it up, pretending it doesn’t exist. But it does. It’s there under everything.”
“So it’s an emotional affair.”
“Well, yes, I guess. Amongst other things.”
“I think that’s enough. Interview over.”
She looked at him in confusion but he drew her back to the sitting room where they were waiting for her and he nodded at the rest of them.
“She passed.”
“Passed what?”
“He passed too.”
“Wales, you’re completely fucked.”
“Final dare.” Martin’s voice sounded out and Camilla felt herself growing in trepidation. “Kiss her. Make us believe you love each other.”
Charles laughed. “You’re all a bunch of voyeurs. Not a chance. You’ll get this and nothing else.” He beckoned Camilla with his fingers then pulled her down to sit next to him, pushing his fingers between hers.
“Do they want a show?”
“Yes.”
“They won’t like it if we actually gave them one.”
“No.” But his face was closer to hers now and she felt herself slipping. He kissed her really softly, making all the hairs on the back of her neck stand up then went to bite her chin, making her laugh. She heard the cheers in the background, making her laugh more and shook her head in mock disapproval.
And then they didn’t need to worry and restrain themselves, not that their behaviour changed very much. She was naturally the more bubbly of the two but she sparked all the fun he had inside him and when they settled down around the fire to have one of those deep conversations only drunk people seem to have, he drew her in and she felt the passion behind what they were debating. She wouldn’t join in, not used to the expectation that she should participate and slightly worried that she didn’t know enough to contribute but when they stopped to ask her opinion, he would squeeze her hand, encouraging her, and she’d proffer her thoughts before listening to them getting considered and examined and in some cases, pulled apart. It wasn’t an activity she was usually invited to.
It was very late by the time they left and she found herself alone with him in the hall at the bottom of the stairs. He was looking at her in adoration before he slipped his fingers between hers and led her upstairs. He deposited her on the bed and kissed her neck.
“I don’t have anything to sleep in.”
“I’m okay with that.”
“Yes, but you get woken up in the morning.”
“I’ll get you something.”
There was something slightly awkward about getting undressed in his bedroom. This was different to usual, when they couldn’t keep their hands off each other and clothes fell where they dropped them. He was scrupulously tidy, hanging up his jacket, putting away his cuff links. He smiled at her, sitting on the bed, watching him.
“Here.” He handed her a stiffly ironed t-shirt and a little box. “Put your jewellery in the box. Then it won’t get lost.”
That was the easiest thing to start with. She removed her earrings, her necklace, unfastened her bracelets. Then, with a pang, pulled off her rings too. She didn’t want to wear them. He helped her out of her dress and made her smile as he hung it up in the wardrobe and she crawled into bed. The duvet was heavy and cold and she snuggled up to him gratefully, stealing his heat. He manoeuvred her until she was in his arms, her head on his chest and he clasped the hand next to her face, tracing his fingers over hers. She could feel him check her ring finger and then he brought her hand to his face and kissed her palm and the spot where her rings usually sat. It made her heart ache. He clasped her hand to his cheek, stroking it until she fell asleep.
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