#Christly

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Pavilion,tent of royal rangers"

Fisher of men"

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[poligraf]

A great man, I take it, is a man so inspired and permeated with the ideas of God and the Christly spirit as to be too magnanimous for vengeance, and too unselfish to seek his own ends.

— David Thomas

[lumierecharity]

GOOD FRIDAY SERVICE: CHRIST SUFFERED AND DIED FOR ALL

 GOOD FRIDAY SERVICE

Today we relive the events of Good Friday. In this service we remember and honor Jesus Christ the Son of God Who came to earth to save all humanity from sin. We can never thank the Lord enough for all He has done for us. Let us remember Him with honor and dignity in this worship service. 

WELCOME

We pray for all in the world. We remember those who have gone before and those who suffer now. We pray for God's Grace to bless our world. We thank God for all His Help to us.

GOOD FRIDAY READING

The reading of the Passion of Jesus Christ. During these readings we remember the events which took place in the last hours of Jesus' Life on earth. 

Let us never forget the price Our Savior paid for us: so deep is His Love.

READINGS:

THE LAST SUPPER

St Luke Chapter 22, verses 14 to 16

 14 When the hour came, Jesus and his apostles reclined at the table. 15 And he said to them, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. 16 For I tell you, I will not eat it again until it finds fulfillment in the kingdom of God.”

St Luke Chapter 22, verses 19 to 20

19 And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.” 20 In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.

THE BETRAYAL

St John, Chapter 13, verses 21 to 30

21 After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.” 22 His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant. 23 One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him. 24 Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, “Ask him which one he means.” 25 Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, “Lord, who is it?” 26 Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. 27 As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him. So Jesus told him, “What you are about to do, do quickly.” 28 But no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him. 29 Since Judas had charge of the money, some thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the festival, or to give something to the poor. 30 As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.

THE DENIAL 

St Mark, Chapter 14, verses 27 to 31

 27 “You will all fall away,” Jesus told them, “for it is written:

“‘I will strike the shepherd,     and the sheep will be scattered.’

28 But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.”

29 Peter declared, “Even if all fall away, I will not.” 30 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “today—yes, tonight—before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times.” 31 But Peter insisted emphatically, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the others said the same. THE AGONY St Mark, Chapter 14, verses 32 to 46  32 They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” 33 He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. 34 “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.” 35 Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. 36 “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” 37 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Simon,” he said to Peter, “are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch for one hour? 38 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 39 Once more he went away and prayed the same thing. 40 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him. 41 Returning the third time, he said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 42 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

Jesus Arrested 

43 Just as he was speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, appeared. With him was a crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests, the teachers of the law, and the elders. 

44 Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him and lead him away under guard.” 45 Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Rabbi!” and kissed him. 46 The men seized Jesus and arrested him.

THE TRIAL St Luke, Chapter 22, verses 52 to 53  52 Then Jesus said to the chief priests, the officers of the temple guard, and the elders, who had come for him, “Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come with swords and clubs? 53 Every day I was with you in the temple courts, and you did not lay a hand on me. But this is your hour—when darkness reigns.” THE VERDICT St Matthew, Chapter 27, verses 15 to 26  15 Now at the feast the governor was accustomed to releasing to the multitude one prisoner whom they wished. 16 And at that time they had a notorious prisoner called Barabbas. 17 Therefore, when they had gathered together, Pilate said to them, “Whom do you want me to release to you? Barabbas, or Jesus who is called Christ?” 18 For he knew that they had handed Him over because of envy. 19 While he was sitting on the judgment seat, his wife sent to him, saying, “Have nothing to do with that just Man, for I have suffered many things today in a dream because of Him.” 20 But the chief priests and elders persuaded the multitudes that they should ask for Barabbas and destroy Jesus. 21 The governor answered and said to them, “Which of the two do you want me to release to you?” They said, “Barabbas!” 22 Pilate said to them, “What then shall I do with Jesus who is called Christ?” They all said to him, “Let Him be crucified!” 23 Then the governor said, “Why, what evil has He done?” But they cried out all the more, saying, “Let Him be crucified!” 24 When Pilate saw that he could not prevail at all, but rather that a tumult was rising, he took water and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, “I am innocent of the blood of this just Person. You see to it.” 25 And all the people answered and said, “His blood be on us and on our children.” 26 Then he released Barabbas to them; and when he had scourged Jesus, he delivered Him to be crucified. THE CROSS St Mark, Chapter 15, verses 21 to 39  21 A certain man from Cyrene, Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus, was passing by on his way in from the country, and they forced him to carry the cross. 22 They brought Jesus to the place called Golgotha (which means “the place of the skull”). 23 Then they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it. 24 And they crucified him. Dividing up his clothes, they cast lots to see what each would get. 25 It was nine in the morning when they crucified him. 26 The written notice of the charge against him read: the king of the Jews. 27 They crucified two rebels with him, one on his right and one on his left. [28]  29 Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, “So! You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, 30 come down from the cross and save yourself!” 31 In the same way the chief priests and the teachers of the law mocked him among themselves. “He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! 32 Let this Messiah, this king of Israel, come down now from the cross, that we may see and believe.” Those crucified with him also heaped insults on him.

The Death of Jesus

33 At noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon. 34 And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”). 35 When some of those standing near heard this, they said, “Listen, he’s calling Elijah.” 36 Someone ran, filled a sponge with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink. “Now leave him alone. Let’s see if Elijah comes to take him down,” he said. 37 With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last. 38 The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. 39 And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, saw how he died, he said, “Surely this man was the Son of God!”

THE TOMB 

St John, Chapter 19, verses 38 to 42  38 Later, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for the body of Jesus. Now Joseph was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jewish leaders. With Pilate’s permission, he came and took the body away. 39 He was accompanied by Nicodemus, the man who earlier had visited Jesus at night. Nicodemus brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds. 40 Taking Jesus’ body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with Jewish burial customs. 41 At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. 42 Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there. SILENCE Spend some time in silence. Let us remember all our brothers and sisters throughout the world. Let us pray for all. COMMUNION Receive communion. If you cannot attend a service, receive Jesus in your heart. If this is your first time to know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and you wish to receive Him as your personal Savior, you can do so at the following link: http://churchinterfaith.blogspot.co.za/2016/06/how-to-receive-jesus-christ-as-your.html  FINAL WORD We remember that the tragedy and sorrow of Good Friday is not the end. This sad day leads towards the glorious Easter Resurrection of Our Lord Jesus Christ Who triumphed over our real enemies - satan, illness, death and the long estrangement from our Father God.  Let us go forward in peace and silence to serve others as our Savior taught us. Let us help others with Christly love, friendship and kindness. .  Go in peace from this blessed service to love and serve the LORD. Spend as much time in prayer this sacred night as you wish. During this time let us pray for all especially for those most in need

With thanks to youtube

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[hargrove-mayfields]

Christmas was supposed to be a time for family, that’s what Steve has always been taught anyways, but, seeing as his parents don’t really understand what it’s like having gone through what he and his friends have, they aren’t much of a family these days.

Steve was never of the Christly faith, he was Jewish actually, but the family chose to celebrate Christmas for its messages and the staples of the season. Things like the wood burning stove crackling with warmth and watching snow coat the evergreens in the backyard. Baking and relaxing and peace on earth and such.

The festivities of both of his holidays weren’t quite dampened as much as his faith was the moment a six foot faceless monster dropped out of the ceiling with intent to kill him. Though last Christmas went pretty shit anyways, for the first time in years spending that time of year with someone he genuinely cared about, only to realize in retrospect it hadn’t been a mutual love and cheeriness.

Steve isn’t sure about getting into the festive spirit this year, whatever that even means to him anymore.

He doesn’t decorate as much as he used to; something about having all those lights in his house, the way they used to wrap around the banister and frame the huge wreath above the mantelpiece, it just makes him paranoid now. No sense of wonder filled nostalgia and warmth in his chest, instead just waiting for the moment they start to flash and signal something coming after him. A festive beacon signaling his location across dimensions, that’s a big ‘no’ from him.

He realizes about four days before Christmas that his apathy had bled into the rest of his traditions too, altogether forgetting to bake the cookies he’d inevitably eat all by himself anyways, or to write cards to family members who probably only trashed the envelope without opening it. Steve can’t stop himself from this depressing spiral either, every last idea of mirrored baubles and other delights shot down in a heartbeat with a negative one twice as strong.

Hell, he even forgot to fish out an old bayberry candle from the attic, which is enough on its own to make him worry a little. His Ima always told him if there was one tradition he could never give up, it was the candle, and every year he’d light that thing and watch it like a hawk to make sure it burned down to the base starting on Christmas Eve morning. It’s bad luck to not. The whole family will be cursed by every god imaginable.

There’s a little flier in his mailbox for Christmas Eve service. Even if his faith has been tested, he can say for certain he’ll never be Christian. His faith and his identity are linked in some ways too tested and true to just move on.

Still. He considers going. Christmas Eve service won’t be enough to undo the damning of his soul for forgetting the candle, and it won’t change his mind on the religion thing either.

It’ll get him out of the house, though. Maybe allow him to see some old faces. Connect with real humans again. There’ll be coffee and cookies anyways, and one of his favorite parts of Christmas has always been the baked goods.

Blame it on all that’s happened in the last year, but Steve decides to go, if not just because he’d failed at achieving literally everything else he had on his to-do list for the season. He’d at least rather feel like he was being judged by old church bitties than feel the crushing weight of having nothing at home for himself.

He’s already late when he does show up at the church, as in -the old people have stopped bullshitting and the service had actually started- late. Actually, he’d been there for a half hour before then at least, but sat outside in his car until he mustered the courage to go inside and face what he’s quickly realizing was a bad decision.

Steve is forced to sit at the very back of the church since, even if he won’t be listening, he doesn’t want to interrupt everybody else. Not a bad deal for someone who guilt-tripped his own sorry self into coming in the first place, but the problem he has with the situation is the company.

He thought this would be helping. It isn’t.

See, most of the church is full of families, people grouped together in their little circles and rubbing it in just how lonely Steve is this year.

In the last few rows there are a couple of other loners like him, but even those are mostly full of people who look generally friendly with each other at least. Steve doesn’t have the luxury.

Billy Hargrove’s taking up almost a whole pew for himself, slouched down with his legs all spread, like he doesn’t want to be seen. Knowing Hargrove the way Steve thinks he does, he assumes that’s exactly the case. That the asshole got dragged along by his nice family to church, to celebrate the community he made it a point to terrorize since day one of being in Hawkins.

Steve’s God isn’t quite the same as the one from this church, but whoever is up there, if anybody, he curses them for creating such a dick as Billy and sending him down to bother Steve.

Maybe he’s projecting a little, but all the same, the only seat left where he’s not going to be interrupting something is right next to Hargrove.

If he had any pride left he’d turn and walk out the door, but he’s only here because he’s already at rock bottom. Might as well spend the holiday with someone who’s probably going to kick his ass again for being a bother.

But Hargrove doesn’t even look at him when he sits next to him, his head is tipped back against the seat and there are sunglasses perched on his nose, despite it being dark out already and one a dreary winter day when there was no sun to begin with. The only indication that he even noticed Steve’s presence is that he moved his leg away so he and Steve aren’t making contact.

Steve’s not going to act like he suddenly likes the guy, but he can tell something is up with him. He asks, pretty bluntly, “What’s a guy like you doing passed out drunk in a church, Hargrove?”

Billy’s face shifts slowly into a half-assed smirk, looking mostly like he’s in pain from forcing the expression, “Why, you want in on it?”

“Honestly, it wouldn’t suck as much if I had a drink first.” Steve shrugs, trying against every instinct in his body to be civil with Billy. It’s not like the other boy is much of a threat the way he’s slumped down and broken looking anyways. Steve feels almost bad for passing judgements.

Until Billy calls him on his hypocrisy, hardly even looking in his direction, “You came in here alone. You wanna be here, Harrington. Don’t act like you’re like me.”

Arguing back with those assumptions, Steve insists, mostly because of the nerve of Billy to assume his situation insults him, “Well I don’t see your family around.”

“‘Cause they're too embarrassed to be seen with me after I beat your sorry ass. Ruined a reputation that didn’t even exist yet. They're up at the front, putting on their happy family routine to make up for it.” Billy relays.

The tone of his explanation would imply that it’s nothing to him, just a mild inconvenience no larger than their own dispute, but his demeanor reads otherwise. And suddenly makes a lot more sense to Steve.

Steve’s definitely chastened, reluctant as his heart tells him to be in trusting Billy, “Oh. Couldn’t you have just.. stayed home then?”

“No way. And get up to more trouble while the rest of my family has to pull the weight of our publicity. Yeah right.” Finally Billy sits up a little straighter, if only to mumble, mostly to himself more than for Steve to hear, “That’d only get my ass beat worse, even if I didn’t do shit.”

And really, as much as Steve is never prepared for what spiteful bullshit is about to come tumbling out of Hargrove’s mouth, this is especially surprising. Like, the kind of unexpected that leaves him speechless and just staring for a moment.

He settles on blurting out, “You.. didn’t have to tell me all that.”

Maybe bitter, or maybe perfectly unbothered in that annoyingly trademark Billy Hargrove way, he meets Steve’s disaster of an attempt at coherency with a simple, “You didn’t have to accuse me of being a drunk either. But the more you run your mouth, the more I feel perfectly justified in giving you that concussion.”

“Never heard of a joke, have you?” Steve tries again, thinking he can be on a bully’s level now, but clearly that wasn’t the vibe Billy was actually going for.

Billy scoffs, glaring with suspiciously wet eyes under those tinted glasses at Steve, “Right. ‘Cause it’s so hilarious, getting to see the new King of the bullshit high school hierarchy at an all time low. You’ve got lots to laugh at Harrington.”

“But I’m not. You think I don’t got my own shit to deal with? Like I just wander into a church I don’t even worship at, an hour late and without my best on, just for fun?”

Knocking himself down a few pegs succeeds in getting Billy to warm back up to him, inviting a new interest in his expression, “So what’s your sin then, Harrington? What’s got you crawling out here and stooping to the peasant level?”

For more reasons than just their location, Steve answers honestly, if not somewhat dramatic, “Incurable loneliness. Being an idiot. Never being good enough. Forgetting to light my goddamned bayberry candle.”

“That bad, huh?” Billy fake winces, the edge bleeding back out of his demeanor. It reminds Steve of the Billy he’d first met that night. Before he’d lied and things went to hell.

Speaking of, Billy abruptly comes out with what they’ve both been thinking, “Look. Do you even believe in all this.. this savior bullshit?”

Steve shrugs, swallowing the fear of denouncing tradition in favor of impressing Hargrove, “Nope. And if we’re being really honest, I only came here because there’d be food.”

“Exactly. Our problems ain’t gonna be fixed by the big man in the red suit or whatever. You and me Harrington, we gotta take this shit into our own hands.” Billy rambles, and for a second it looks like he’s about to put his hands on Steve’s shoulders, before he changes position at the last minute and rests his arm over the back of the pew instead.

Why does Steve kind of wish he had touched him? He brushes it off. They’re playing mind games right now, talking about shit without talking about it. He’s gotta focus or he’ll fall behind.

“And just how are we going to do that?” Steve hums, some part of him wondering at this point if he is just amusing a drunken Billy.

But the other boy surprises him once more, challenging how convinced Steve is in his perceptions of him, “Step one, let’s just get outta here.”

Steve’s mouth feels dry and his stomach feels in knots.

“Uh, Hargrove. Didn’t you like, just say you had to be here though?”

“That was ten minutes ago. I’m a new man now, unrestrained by the confines of a paternal dictatorship keeping me bound to this holy house of worship.”

That doesn’t make it any more obvious to Steve what his intention is, if anything just making him more confused. Feeling like a jackass about it, he asks for clarification, a problem that has every bit to do with himself and his expectations, and not so much with Hargrove’s, “What?”

“I said fucking stick it to Neil Hargrove and to God. And let’s go already before we get struck down or something.” Billy stands then, the preacher thankfully deep enough into whatever speech was going on that only a few churchgoers turned to glare at the interruption.

Steve realizes he doesn’t have much choice, or desire, to do anything but follow Billy.

They almost wordlessly end up at Steve’s car, Billy himself having been driven with the rest of his family and having no other way to get home.

It’s still tense between them, this spur of the moment Christmas truce not doing much to ease Steve’s worries. Things feel even more awkward than they need to be, at least to Steve.

Billy, on the other hand, makes himself right comfortable in Steve’s car, like they’d been best friends all along and this was a perfectly normal thing for the two of them to be doing.

Somehow it simultaneously made Steve really want to get closer to him,so he could understand the way his head works to make him so sporadic in a way Steve himself had never been good at being.

Part way through the drive, Billy had cranked the heat in the car all the way up, a sign he’s not taking his first white Christmas that well. His salt-stained boots are kicked up on his dashboard, and the sunglasses he wore for no apparent reason were finally removed to be looped onto the collar of his jacket.

He wasn’t lying about the beating. Behind the shades wasn’t a drunken, out of focus gaze. No.

A bruise the size of almost the entirety of his left cheekbone stretches and warps into his swollen brow, where a cut near his eyelid forces it half-shut.

“You’re not nervous are you?” Steve needs the reassurance.

They could both get in trouble from the man they both know landed that bruise on Billy’s cheek. Getting caught wasn’t a question, they would know he wasn’t at the church anymore, it was just a matter of what excuse Billy could come up with that wouldn’t get him in more trouble.

“Me? Never.” Billy just shrugs him off, though again adds something under his breath, sort of like a filter for the truths he finds painful to speak, “Just hurry up and take me as far away from here as possible. I hate this stupid hell hole and I don’t want Neil’s ass dragging me back in there.”

And it’s not like Steve is going to disagree, he’s admittedly had his problems with being lonely, and he’s got his own reasons for why Hargrove might just be the best company he could make right about now.

Still, because it’s their thing, he gives him a hard time all the same.

“We were enemies when I walked into that church. Why should I do anything for you?”

“‘Cause we’re both two out of place fuck ups in the very back of the house of God. And we both know you’re too soft to hold a grudge anyways. Since I decided to forgive you, the way I see it, we might as well have never met ‘til tonight. Perfect meeting, perfect reason to help out.” Billy explains it, again like he’s fixing himself to be a real genius, but Steve’s skeptical of how easygoing he is.

Those shaking hands don’t go unnoticed from him. Or the scratchy, high pitched lilt that trails after each word Billy speaks.

Steve is more than willing to move past the fight at this point, but there’s something that may or may not even have anything to even do with Hargrove himself, that stops him from just letting them be close like that. Something that Steve has kept a secret his whole life.

Something like a boy crush.

It’s not even Billy’s fault that he pushes back against this friendship, preventative measures for the future. Steve talks dismissively. “Nah, I don’t know man. I think you’d prefer it if my first impression of you wasn’t formed right now.”

Billy doesn’t even look at him, “Fucking rude, Harrington.”

“Dude, you reek like booze and old cologne. You’ve got that nasty bruise on your face and I can tell from the way you’re acting there’s more. You’re a disaster all around.” And maybe Steve was a little harsh, but he's almost offended by the way everything Billy stands for directly goes against the image of him he’d built in his head.

The kid he’s talking to now is nowhere near the same douche that he thought for sure was going to kill him. Not to say he’s a sweetheart, but Steve doesn’t even know why he thought Billy was such hot shit.

Probably something about fantasy. Attraction versus adrenaline and all that.

Billy himself isn’t in the least bit offended though, and Steve can tell that’s only because he’s reading him and his attempt at playing Billy’s game like a book.

There’s a smirk that just barely plays at the corner of his mouth, at least the side without any injuries, the dead giveaway of his clarity, “Well then. What was your first first impression of me like? What makes it so special?”

“I don’t know man. You looked intimidating I guess. Glared at everyone in that parking lot like you already owned the place. And you were a thousand times more put together. Before you were just pretending to be all rough, a hoser by definition, but now you’re really a mess.” Steve is rambling again, trying his damndest to not say the part out loud where him and Carol Perkins had been gossiping about how Hargrove’s ass looked in those jeans.

His genuine first impression a hell of a lot more confusing and even worse to admire to a bully than the way he sums it up.

“Damn. And here my first impression of you was that you were a prissy little thing just like Wheeler sitting right next to you in your fancy rich boy car. Here I thought you saw yourself as better than me.” The tone of Billy’s voice sounds almost impressed, actually looking over to Steve in the driver's seat.

His face is so analytical, so smugly uncalled for. Like pure satisfaction, because he cracked the goddamn code, “But no, I get it now. Pretty boy had himself a crush. Still does too.”

Steve almost slams on his brakes.

“Hold on. I never said anything like that.” He denies it outright, because it is true. There’s a swell of panic in his chest at the thought that he’s too obvious. Over who else might know.

Billy clarifies a little more, “But you don’t need your damn words to see it. This overly critical, hiding your feelings shtick. Probably learned that from your girl. Tearing me apart like your first thought wasn’t how fucking hot I am in three layers of acid wash.”

“Christ, where the hell did you even get an idea like that?” Steve acts bigger than he feels, at least he’s good at that, always has been.

“Lighten up. You think any old meathead’s gonna notice something like this that easy?” Billy waits for an answer but Steve can’t speak. The other rolls his eyes and continues, “I see through that shit ‘cause I’ve done it all too. Open your fucking eyes.”

Call him neurotic, but Steve is still skeptical, “No way. You’re talking about shit that doesn’t happen, Hargrove. It just doesnt! Whatever *this* is, it doesn’t have anything to do with me, alright?”

“You didn’t even ask my impression of you. I could tell you, about.. about the way I fell for every little freckle and dumb eyelash on your dopey face? I could fucking tell you but we’d probably still be here well into the new year if I did.”

Steve grips the wheel tighter, “No, Billy.. I mean it. If you’re pulling something on me... just save it for someone who wants to hear it.”

“I’m not though. Honest to God.” Billy tilts his head back against his seat and laughs at himself, the seriousness of the situation escaping him. He’s also fucking nervous, which Steve can see.

It makes him regard the next thing Billy says with at least a little more trust. All he wants is to have somebody like that. Billy smiles when he sees those walls coming down,

“Well, I guess two queers running away from Church on Christmas Eve probably shouldn’t swear on the big man like that, but you get what I’m sayin’, Harrington.”

Whether this was a bullying or a love confession, Steve wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, and it’s fucking confusing. He crinkles up with nose and eyebrows in an obvious puzzling expression, “I.. guess I do?”

“Aw, don’t go getting’ shy on me now, Harrington.” Billy snickers, finally shifting that piercing gaze away from Steve to the window beside him, asking in an unceremonious change of subject, “Where’re you taking me anyways?”

“Since you’re laying it on so damn thick all of the sudden, I figured I’d just take you back to my place.” Steve all but grumbles sarcastically, stressed from this conversation, from it being Christmas, from everything else going wrong in his life.

Billy at least can sense that, allowing the subject change to carry them in an almost casual conversation. Almost, if not for the overly flirtatious tone he takes on, “Sure. You got a present waitin’ there for me this Christmas?”

Steve’s face flushes and he can’t handle the heat. He shuts it down with a shrug of his shoulders, “Dude, I don’t even have a tree up at home. Best I can promise is what you were probably already hopin’ you’d get.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Wrapping paper that important to you? I can figure something out.”

Billy shakes his head; it’s his turn now to look at Steve like he’s lost his mind, “No. I was just fucking with you about a present. I meant about the tree.”

“Yeah, I didn’t decorate at all. But.. what’s that even matter?” Steve glances over at him, seeing the hurt behind that baffled expression and knowing instantly there’s something more there, another mystery about Billy Hargrove that will remain unsolved, because he turns the attention off of himself as quickly as that expression fades behind a new one of determination.

“Not gonna lie Harrington, I was totally down to blow you and just pretend the serious parts of this conversation never happened and never speak to each other again. I kinda thought that was the path we were going down here. But now that I know how deep this goes, and I’m invested in this shit way too much.”

“What does that even mean, Billy?”

“Means we’re skipping all the sex bullshit and we’re gonna light your goddamn candle. And do every other thing on your list of failures this year. You know, since you’re totally head over heels in love with me, it’s my job to give you your Merry Christmas.” Billy explains it like he’s got it all planned out perfectly. Like he’s some kind of genius.

Steve rolls his eyes, mostly because it hides how easily flustered he is by Billy’s proclamations, “Oh come on. It’s not like that..”

“What? You’re having a hard time this year, for obvious fucking reason- did I mention I already hate your parents?”

“Billy.” Steve warns, not ready to sidetrack another topic to talk about something that will only make him depressed. It’s not as easy for him to hate his parents as it is for him to hate Billy’s.

Billy nods in unspoken understanding and goes back to his point, “All I’m saying is, the point of havin’ someone like me around, is to make shit better. Right?”

“I don’t know man, since I seem to remember the last time I tried to help you first, you told me you weren’t a charity case and to never bother you again..”

Steve never forgot that attempt, even after everything that went down between them. It was just one time, in the showers after their way too high contact game of basketball. The angry red belt scars on Billy’s back caught his attention and he’d brought it up, only to be shut down.

There was always a sick, guilty feeling in his stomach about never trying again after that.

“If you’d just quit bein’ so stubborn, we got lots of shit to get done tonight. No time for self-deprivation.” Billy remarks casually though, unbothered by Steve’s worries. He even adds with an over exaggerated wink, “Maybe I’ll throw in that present I promised you once you start cheering up.”

~~~

The Harrington house does end up shining brightly that night.

Just as Billy promised, they stayed up all night doing everything they wanted to, no imposed rules or familial traditions involved, no triggers of past Christmases that neither were quite ready to share yet on display.

They don’t bother fishing out the huge eight foot synthetic tree Mrs. Harrington insisted on having to show off, the monstrous thing just there to collect dust in the basement now. They find a smaller one instead, an old fiber-optic tree Steve used to keep up in his room as a kid, his way of sneaking a nightlight past Mr. Harrington’s strict rules for his boy.

The tree is proudly displayed on a side table pushed over to the front window, and decorated with only homemade ornaments. Billy “accidentally” dropped a few of the fancy collector ornaments that used to force Steve’s own childhood creations off.

His mother was obsessed with making everything look straight out of a catalog, but the simple and childish decor was enough for Billy and Steve, without the additional twenty strings of lights in every corner of the house, or the poinsettias and crystal nativities adorning every available surface in the house. That was all a headache.

They light the bayberry candle too, putting it on a fancy dish at the center of the coffee table, not in the fancy sconces he’d have to scrape wax out of later. Billy pretends about a thousand times he’s going to blow it out just to fuck with Steve, earning him equally as many lectures on the bad luck and death and pestilence he’s bringing upon them.

Really that’s the dynamic they have the whole night; Steve flutters around his house an absolute nervous wreck, Billy just tailing after him to remind him that whatever they want to do.

It’s actually fun this once, behaving in a way not for appearances or hollow celebrations. Billy understands making Christmas special, personal. He’s someone who gets maybe one present per year and can’t afford any decorations but generations old glassware and yard sale blow molds.

Steve admittedly wasn’t really expecting to solve so many of his troubles in one go, especially not with help from Billy, who he thought was supposed to hate him after everything. But Billy just makes it so easy to like him, once Steve got the handle on understanding him.

He even got to see that gentle side of him open up. When Steve tangled himself up in tinsel and started to panic, and Billy had to remind him everything would be fine, he got to see it up close. The delicate concern in Billy’s eyes. The softness in his voice.

Okay, and maybe they shared one or two kisses under conveniently placed mistletoes Billy claims to not know the origin of.

He wasn’t all sunshine though, instead of just telling Steve that a Christmas angel or the hard to display window wreaths didn’t need a place in their festivities, he’d taken to literally smacking whatever was troubling Steve out of his hands and making him go do something else while it was put away.

In the end they still don’t do a lot of the things Steve normally would, most things really, but he realizes at some point, after baking a batch of cookies at about three in the morning, both of them wearing his Ima’s glittery aprons, that this isn’t about all that anyways.

What he and Billy started, this Christmas Eve, was a new tradition, one which didn’t rely on expectations, or keeping up with everything everyone ever asked him to do.

All of this was about doing something new, something they hadn’t up to this point been able to call their own for countless unhappy reasons they pledged not to talk about until at least the day after Christmas. Neither saw any need to dampen the cheer they did find this special holiday, all on their own.

Once everything’s sort of wound down, Steve’s head is all fuzzy with a buzz from the cheap alcohol Billy had convinced him to put into the generic gallon of eggnog he had about to expire in his fridge. Billy has a blushing face and a finally relaxed posture.

The both of them are sitting under their tiny tree for reasons neither can remember. Somewhere down the line, they started holding hands.

Steve asks, mostly as a lighthearted comment he doesn’t really expect an answer to, “So, I guess you’re gonna come over for Christmas every year now, huh?”

Billy looks to him and scrunches his nose up, emphasized by the way his face is pink, his smile turns bright and lopsided, the way it looks when he really means it, “Are you kidding me, Stevie? I’m coming over here every goddamn day if I can.”

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Choir: ♪ Holy infant So tender and mild ♪

John: Wait, who describes an infant as mild?

Ted: Yeah, I'm more hung up on tender.

John: Yeah, somebody's eating this baby.

Priest: It's important that we remember just why we celebrate Christmas. We observe the holiest of all days to rejoice in the glory of the birth of Jesus Christ, born not from the seed of man but from divine origin. Never before or since have we, God's children, been blessed by such a miracle.

Ted: Excuse me. Yeah, over here. Hi. Ted, local bear. You're talking about a guy who came alive out of nowhere, right?

Priest: Yes.

Ted: Yeah, me.

Priest: I'm sorry?

Ted: I'm just saying, he's not the only one.

Priest: I don't think that's the same thing.

Ted: Well, you said, never before or since. But… You know, this guy.

Priest: The birth of Christ was a heavenly miracle.

Ted: I mean, what do you call this? I mean, I don't see any Pound Puppies or Monchhichis walking around.

Priest: Christ's birth was clearly ordained by God, marked by the star of Bethlehem, a miraculous beacon from the heavens.

John: There was a star there. Ted: There was a star, right?

John: Yeah, no, it was a shooting star.

Ted: I had a star. John: Yeah.

Priest: Jesus had a divine purpose. God sent him to us to spread the word that He loves us.

Ted (recorded voice): "I love you."

Ted: Your move, Friar Tuck.

Priest: I just want to finish the sermon.

Ted: I'm just saying, I might be Jesus. Might. I'm not saying for sure. I'm just saying it's a possibility. I might be Jesus.

Priest: That is incredibly disrespectful.

Ted: Says the guy eating babies.

-

John: OK, we can't read this whole thing.

Ted: Well, if we're gonna figure out if I'm actually Jesus, we at least got to skim it.

John: I have never seen pages so thin.

Ted: I know. It's like Kleenex with boring stories on it.

John: You know, I was thinking. How do we know that Dennis isn't Jesus?

Ted: Johnny, Jesus walked on water, all right? Walked! That means he had feet, not wheels.

John: Yeah, that makes sense.

Ted: Oh, wait, hang on. Stop right there. Look, look, look. Matthew 21:31, "Truly I say to you, the tax collectors and prostitutes go into the kingdom of heaven before you." Look at that. Jesus hangs out with hookers.

John: Yeah, and he says there's hookers in heaven too. He sounds a lot like you.

Ted: Oh, yeah, heaven is probably mostly hookers.

John: Wait, so you're paying for sex in heaven?

Ted: You're not paying them for sex. You're paying them to fly away.

John: Oh. Let's see. "And behold, I come quickly, and my reward is with me to give"…

Ted: What was that first part?

John: "Behold, I come quickly."

Ted: Jesus said that?

John: Yeah.

Ted: Yeah, that's not the kind of thing I'd start with "behold." What else? Well, look, look, look. Right there. Right there. John the apostle. Jesus had an apostle named John.

John: Holy shit. Those were, like, his buddies, right?

Ted: Yeah, yeah, there was Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Johnny, Blitzen, and Larry, Darryl, and Darryl. There's no doubt anymore. I'm the Lord Jesus Christ.

Ted: Holy shit. Does this mean you have, like, powers and stuff?

Ted: Yeah, but I probably got to learn how to use them. Flip to the spells.

John: OK, spells, spells, spells. Ted: Spells, spells, spells.

Ted: Wonder what my alignment is.

John: Chaotic good.

Ted: Ah, yeah, yeah. Good, but, like, you know, I might fuck around a little bit.

John: Yeah.

Ted: Shit, we supposed to have dice?

-

Ted: OK, what do you say we try one of them spells, huh? Water into wine, here we go. "Meka leka hi, meka hiney ho. Meka leka hi, meka chiney ho." All right, try it.

John: Still water.

Ted: Fuck! Oh, you know what? It's 'cause we don't have the wand.

-

Blaire: Shit. I mean, how the fuck am I supposed to share a house with somebody who treats me like I have some fucking disease Guess there's no chance he's gonna apologize.

Ted: You know, if I can offer a bit of Christly wisdom, Blaire? You're smarter than he is, so you might have to go talk to him.

Blaire: Oh, fuck that. I am not extending an olive branch to somebody who's against basic equality.

John: Well, that's the thing, Blaire. I don't think he's really even against anything. Think he just didn't want to look stupid in front of his truck.

Blaire: Listen to yourself!

John: OK, then don't do it for Dad. Do it for Mom. Look, she's really bummed out right now, and it's all just 'cause Christmas is messed up. Look, I know it's gonna suck, but…

Ted: But it's like I say in the Book of Romulans: turn the other cheek. Do unto others. Say it, don't spray it. I'll have what she's having.

Blaire: You're an idiot.

Ted: Oh, what do we say to that, Apostle?

John: Four hell points.

Ted: Four hell points.

Blaire: What the fuck is a hell point?

Ted: It's how I determine which of my children, who I love, will be tortured forever.

Blaire: Oh, God. Ugh, all right, all right, I'll… I'll talk to him.

-

Ted: Well, I Jesus-ed the shit out of that one.

Blaire: You? You didn't do anything.

Ted: Eh, I worked in mysterious ways.

Sarah: How?

Ted: Where there was only one set of footprints, that's where I carried you.

Blaire: You watched 18 hours of TV yesterday. You barely moved.

Ted: When it most appears I'm not Jesus, that's when you need faith.

Sarah: Ted, you do know what happened to Jesus, right?

Ted: Yeah, he gave back the Gobstopper, and they gave him the chocolate factory. I mean, I think that's what happened. I'm reading, like, two books at once.

Sarah: They nailed him to the cross and crucified him for our sins.

Ted: Wait, what?

Susan: It was so nice of him to let them do that for us, wasn't it?

Ted: They killed him?

Sarah: Yeah.

Ted: Oh, shit. Yeah, fuck that. I'm out. Wait, maybe I'm Buddha. Buddha was lazy, right?

[noshowjericho]

disctober day 5 - "Partner"

"Agora o Santo Cristo era bandido Destemido e temido no Distrito Federal Não tinha nenhum medo de polícia Capitão ou traficante, playboy ou general" - Faroeste Caboclo by Leigião Urbana

Not quite sure how i feel about this piece considering i somewhat rushed it but my God. Steban and Ulixes in the western AU i have so many senarios and designs in mind. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH TROUBLE ULI GAVE ME i dont know why but he refused to look like himself. I HAD TO PUT FAORESTE CABOCLO LYRICS IM SO SORRY it translates to "Now the Christly Saint was a bandit/Fearless and feared in the Federal District/Had no fear of police/Captain or trafficker, playboy or general."

list made by @ antropomorphis on twitter!

[talonabraxas]

HIDDEN BY A DISK OF GOLDEN LIGHT "The material visible sun is a reflector rather than a source of power. The visible sun reflects the light of the invisible spiritual sun, which is the true source of life, light and truth. The physical nature of the universe is receptive; it is a realm of effects. The invisible causes of these effects belong to the spiritual world. Hence, the spiritual world is the sphere of causation; the material world is the sphere of effects; while the intellectual--or soul--world is the sphere of mediation (between the two). Thus Christ, the personified higher intellect and soul nature, is called 'The Mediator' who, by virtue of His position and power, says: 'No man cometh to the Father, but by me'." -- Manly P. Hall, The Secret Teachings of All Ages "O Thou Who givest sustenance to the Universe, from Whom all things proceed, to Whom all things return; unveil to us the face of the true spiritual Sun, hidden by a disc of golden light, that we may know the truth and do our whole duty, as we journey to Thy sacred feet." -- The Gayatri"Certain Rosicrucian scholars have given special appellations to the three phases of the Sun: the spiritual sun they called Vulcan; the Souler and Intellectual Sun they called Christ and Lucifer respectively; and the material Sun they called Jehovah. Lucifer here represents the intellectual mind without the illumination of the spiritual mind; therefore it is 'the false light'. The false light is finally overcome and redeemed by the true light of the Soul, called the Second Logos or Christ. The secret processes by which the Luciferian intellect is transmuted into the Christly intellect constitute one of the great secrets of Alchemy, and are symbolized by the process of transmuting base metals into gold." -- Manly P. Hall, The Secret Teachings of All Ages "In this connection our solar system is septenary, that it is composed of seven planes, or worlds, and hence that there are seven suns in it, of which we see but one sun, the lowest in degree." -- G. de Purucker, Fundamentals of the Esoteric Philosophy"From this viewpoint the source of material organization, intra-cellular coherency and even consciousness, lies not within physical processes of the body, but are rather causal phenomena issuing forth from fundamental qualities of space-time itself, from the very field of energy sustaining the universe. Yet as this field is nothing but a pure potential, being non-dimensional and infinite in nature, it is also by definition the pinnacle of order and organization – all points unified. Thus the entropic, randomized universe meets its counterbalance in the negentropic, coherent vacuum of space." https://shiftfrequency.com/human-body-universe/?fbclid=IwAR25Z_fQgdt6aqEIMy_NHhluPFytX3mSXnfDt1dV5A0zriYC4QgKCwbHM3U

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

does jesus christ mean anything to you/in your worldview/cosmology? curious since, you talk a lot lately about going to church, and draw on the bible ofc, but never mentioned christ in particular, that ive seen.

your work has meant a lot to me btw, thank you. wishing you well.

hi anonymous; i:ve mentioned christ plenty -- in my church notes, in my religious writing, in these asks;

sometimes more subtly than others, because part of christian ideal is son=father=ghost, and it:s hard to reference one of those parts without also needing an unsaid inclusion of the other two; sometimes more overtly: i do not consider myself a christian because i do not believe christ offers salvation for left-handed persons, or that any biblical reference to christ and salvation offered to those righteous at That hand of Lord God has any-thing to do with the left-handed; that when-ever mention in bible covers those heavenly peoples it is explicitly referencing those peoples who are "the word made flesh," mixed here in earthy mistakes--these are the righteous that are saved, and in the shadow of this mentioned group, are those of the earthy origin made spirited by a mistaken spirit: these of the unmentioned hand; secrets of buried earth; the kingdoms of earth; the children of herod; the shadows crept up in the great manse of herod and those who choked in baptism Gerasene at a minor second deluge offered by Christ to that flock of pigs;

these earthy things will be baptised in truth by fire in second death and their customs and mysteries are bespoke to them by earth, and spoken-to by earthy thing Underground: the left-over of hot kiln leaving bone-dry and clean ash to be used as baptism for these people, dry in solemn acknowledgment of the waters of Gerasene that Christ offers these children; solemn acknowledgment of the kiln of earth from which they were cast and the fires outside that will smoke their spirits in second, final, death: Annihilation;

christ as figure, to communication, is variable here in name and inclusion; for greater explanation: christ is a created context by the abstract intelligences; true as any, and illusory as any, but the creating pattern through which christ were Exist are exact what Christ is; a promise of subsumation for the hand righteous and how-ever many splinters fell from that hand; and in the shadow of that Christly pattern: a promise of annihilation for the hand invisible and how-ever many fewer splinters fell from that hand; the lord body god from which both hands connect loves these equal as the body shan't hate its parts, but the pattern and abstraction is biased in its creation of Context and the Word, the Bible, are all of the context bias; take care.

[see-arcane]

If Jonathan were there to hear that you know he’d do a repeat of Oct. 3, hugging her tightly and reminding her that none of it is her fault, probably cursing out god for making her feel unwanted. Just… maybe silently, this time. Mina and Van Helsing don’t like him doing that.

Oh, absolutely.

Just as he is without a doubt still carrying on an inner, 'God, You're on thin ice here, I am THIS close to going full Faustus,' diatribe no matter where he is or what he's writing down. He knows Mina was still in a fit of despair and self-loathing since October 3rd and that this mindset hasn't changed--even with the mental hoop-jumping that was her demanding the boys double-kill her; you know, just in case Good and Hallowed God (Who rightfully hates/hurts/has abandoned her! No big deal!!) decides to fumble her rescue and leave her as the damned undead for...reasons. (You know. Like He did with Lucy. Ha ha.)--because this girl is a master at martyr-level justification for her own pain.

Jonathan has not, does not, and will not ever be on board with that. Yes, he drops the odd prayer into the matter every now and then; he still has very Christly Christian companions and there's a chance Mina will read his journal after the mess...if there is an after.

But internally? Our boy has all kinds of blasphemies locked and loaded for the worst case scenario of God failing yet another innocent life--the most important life in the world to him!--because He allows an overpowered petty undead bastard to get what he wants. Again. Just as Vlad has had nothing stop him in over 400 years of murdering and tormenting victims.

Jonathan, on paper: We are in God's hands!

Jonathan, internally, wanting nothing more than to be embracing Mina with one arm and using the other to dice Dracula into cubes: What's with the lag here, O Almighty? Why does my wife have to make excuses for You and suffer because this ye olde self-made demon has gotten to party unimpeded for centuries?? Why does Your holy Christ cracker get to burn her for the equivalent of an infection incurred by a literal physical assault while her soul remains pure as anything??? PICK UP YOUR PHONE, GOD, I JUST WANT TO TALK--

[wolfram-afternoons]

Christly cherry chapstick I love lying to people

[sugarpkts]

oh good christly and or buddhaly morning btw. as you see fit

[blueiight]

Claudia storyline in the books is very strange cause while Louis and Lestat are both haunted by her and her death is a huge part of their arcs, neither of them really seem to care to hold Armand responsible for torturing and killing her so brutally. I guess Louis sort of does when he's spending decades ignoring him but after that its just never brought up btwn them again and Lestat in TVL is more mad that Armand lied to him about Louis being dead than Claudia actually being dead. Very hard to tell if they really cared or not.

i think the brunt of book claudia’s arc is pretty coherent & rather than the nature of her arc , what ur commenting on is the responses louis & lestat in the books have but they grieve fully for claudia n once again they dont know the full extent of armand’s role in claudia’s death until tva + even then lestat was in the torture rack recuperating from the christly pounding