Once, there was probably a plan for the two of them to spend their festivals like this. He knows Ulster's council had wanted them married after Leonster's liberation, but a part of him wonders if it had gone back even farther than that. When he had been taken to her home the first time, had it been done with the idea that it would be a bride's family protecting her groom? Their fates had been written long in advance, but to what detail? To what end?
What picture had the people of Leonster and Ulster drawn for the two of them, and how far had they deviated from it in truth?
“ Miranda, ” he calls out her name. “ It's the Winter Festival. ” He wonders if she'll grow a bit exasperated with him for spelling it out like that for her. At what point had he begun to anticipate her responses? He hardly knew her in their youth, and their reunion had proven that too. Every moment seemed so unpredictable, a storm that he had to brave and temper with each thing she yelled out at him or expected of him...
But now? The tempest... it has calmed. She still has her bark and her bite, but somehow, he flinches at it a little less now. It is just a part of her, and he thinks he knows her a little better now even if it's not to the extent that the people had once planned out for them.
“ I got you something. ” He holds out a gift wrapped box for her, and when she opens it, what lies inside is a thin gold circlet bearing a small green gem in the center. It is not too unlike the headband she wears over her forehead in battle, but it has an elegance to it less befitting a battlefield and more befitting a ballroom. “ I don't know if you'll like it, but... ”
It was his fault that she had taken on all this rage. It was his fault that she had committed herself to this life, that inferno in war desperate to claim all that she had lost. In her, he sees a bit of himself.
But the times are changing. They are moving from war to peace, and just as he must step into his role as a prince, she too must return to being a princess. He cannot claim to know the future, but he can attempt to have a hand in it. He gifts her this symbol of peace, knowing it can never be enough to make up for all that his existence has taken away from her in the past.
But at the end of the day, he tries to tell her one thing through it: that he sees her not as a fool but instead as a girl.
When she was younger, her mother had asked her if there was anything she wanted to get for Leif for the Winter Festival and Miranda had rattled off a long list of things. The situation necessitated that they never ended up spending a single festival together, of course, but she was young and it was fun to imagine picking out gifts for the friends who had come to her house.
Now, years later, for the first time they are able to celebrate the Winter Festival for the first time and Miranda doesn't have a single idea of what to get Leif. Unclouded by the rose-tinted glasses of childhood, is there a single thing she knows about him? His likes? His dislikes? All of the things she had wanted to give him in the past no longer felt suitable, so she gets him nothing at all.
Just as he expected, Miranda shoots him a withering look. "I am well aware that it is the Winter Festival, Prince Leif. I do own a calendar, you know."
She isn't actually mad. She hasn't truly been mad at him for a very long time. Annoyed, maybe. He does have a way of getting on her nerves, but she no longer curses his very existence.
(Maybe she still does sometimes. She doesn't really mean it, though. Not like she did before.)
In her fifteenth year, the wounds on her heart had bled and bled and bled. By the next year, a painful scab had formed that she couldn't help from picking at until the bleeding began again. Eventually, though, her hands stop finding their way to pick at the scabs during idle moments. Left untouched, the scabs will one day heal into scars. Messy, jagged scars that would never disappear completely, but nevertheless they would eventually fade until there are nothing but thin white lines.
"You got me a gift?" The 'why' and 'what are your intentions' are left unspoken, but nevertheless abundantly clear from her expression. "I will be the judge of whether I like it or not, so hand it over."
The circlet is a dainty little thing, the kind of jewelry that she would have worn if things hadn't gone horribly wrong. Rather than the kind of tiara that doubled as armor, she would have worn something pretty and delicate like this. She would have kept her hair long and worn a dress that complimented the gold and green of the jewelry. She would have gone to show her parents: see, look, I'm a girl who suits these kinds of things, too.
Holding it now in her hand, she fears it is much too delicate for her. She hadn't become the kind of girl that suited something like this in the end, something that could very well snap if she put the tiniest bit of pressure on it. If it snapped, she could try putting it together again, but it would never be the same.
It doesn't, though, because she holds it preciously in her hand.
"It's fine, I suppose," she concedes. A beat passes before she says the words she truly means. "...Thank you, Prince Leif."
She doesn't try it on now, but later in her room she will replace her usual tiara with the circlet and look at herself in the mirror. It's different, but maybe different is okay.
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If anyone remembers the Kikagoods CJD doll I ordered around Christmas, well... it got cancelled.
It was delayed until April and I didn't want to wait that long, so unfortunately the CJD project is cancelled. However... I got a replacement for the doll and it's what I wanted, so in the end I'll be posting a review for that one when it arrives sometime soon.
Kikagoods has been a good service so far and their customer service is really nice so please don't blame them, and this doll I recently have replaced with is a backup to the original order. I won't be revealing it until the day it arrives because I wanna surprise y'all but the hint I'll give is PEETSOON 1/12 scale BJD.
But in all, I'm sorry I have to cancel the CJD project. In the future though, I'll save up money to make it into an Obitsu 11/Nendoroid Doll project, I have the listings saved and all I need to do is calculate how much everything will be and try for the cheapest route.
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