#Cirrius-Akiyo's bunkdump

[cirrius-akiyo]

FOCAL POINT 

Remember this fic? Yeah, the fic that I last updated on 19 September 2020. 

Guess what, I’m about to update another Chapter because Buck Begins finally provided me with some twisted inspirations, and I’m so hyped in writing ‘em. 

So happy to share with you guys soon ^-^

[cirrius-akiyo]

Could I please request 78."You’re worth it.” from the angst/fluff list?

Thank you Lovely Nonnie!

This is from the Fluff/Angst Prompts List

Read this on AO3

LOVE & AFFECTION IS A GOOD CONSIDERATION

///

Blinking himself awake, his mind sluggishly wonders what wakes him up in the first place, disturbing his restless sleep.

It was then his bladder reminds him that he needs to pee, forcing him to finally move.

Eddie groans as he stiffly kicks the cozy blanket away that somehow got twisted alongside his body, shivering as the cold air kiss his clammy skin. He honestly doesn't feel well rested at all, but it's better than puking his guts out like he did the day before.

As he forces his achy limbs to work, Eddie silently applauds his self-restraint for not dragging the blanket together with him to the toilet (which would be greatly frown upon by Buck).

Speaking of Buck...oh wait, thinking of Buck, Eddie suddenly remembers why he was colder than before; he vividly remembers that his personal heater was not beside him when he woke up.

Finishing his business in the toilet, Eddie returns back to the bedroom to confirm his suspicion all along.

True enough, his boyfriend is not in their bed.

Buck's side of the bed is void of any trace of body heat and the bedding is undisturbed at all, save for some wrinkles, which probably by Eddie's own doing with all of his restless twisting and turning.

Feeling like he won't keel over anytime soon, Eddie decides to grab his tossed blanket and haphazardly wraps himself in a makeshift burrito before leaving the room to search for his missing lover.

Out of habits, Eddie stops by at Chris' room to check on his son, but refrains himself from passing through the doorframe. God knows how much Eddie misses his little Superman. That poor boy had not been in close vicinity with him for the last two days, to prevent him from catching whatever it is Eddie is having.

Buck has been diligent with sanitising, spraying and wiping clean everything Eddie has touched (or even looked at) for extra preventive measures, not wanting to take any chance.

Oh...thinking of Buck, again, Eddie now remembers the reason why he was standing in the hallway in the middle of the night, depriving himself from the tranquility of sleep.

To find his missing Buck.

His son needs to learn to share; his jumbled mind supplies.

Eddie wanders down the hallway and towards the living room with careful steps, his blanket still heavily draped over his shoulders.

Lo and behold, on the couch there lies his slumbering lover, completely dead to the world.

Eddie smiles at hearing the occasional soft snores while taking in the view displayed around him.

The television is switched off, but beside the couch, there lies the book that Buck currently is fixed on, forgotten on the floor. Looking at the table lamp that is still on, Eddie assumes Buck had fell asleep reading his late night fill, a habit that usually done in the privacy of their bedroom, underneath the warm sheets.

Picking the book up before setting it down on the coffee table, Eddie then plops down on the floor clumsily with his body leaning onto the side of the couch, directly facing Buck's sleeping face.

Under the glimmer of the yellow light, Eddie could see the haggard lines on his partner's face. The two days old stubble and the unkempt curls are enough proof of how Buck was on his toes these couple of days. Eddie had called in sick two days ago, and Buck has been taking care of him right after getting off from his 24 hours shift one day earlier when he should have spend his day off decompressing. Eddie knew Buck's last shift was not an easy one the moment he stepped inside their home if judging by the tired lines and rigid stance, but his strong headed boyfriend had insisted that everything was fine, and that they should focus on to get Eddie better soon.

Selfless idiot.

And an adorable idiot too, drooling all over the couch cushions.

Buck is laying on his side with the fleece throws tangled down below his knees, and his right arm somehow got tucked underneath his sleeping t-shirt, effectively dragging the fabric upwards, revealing sufficient amount of abs that makes Eddie's mouth water.

The small patch of happy trail does makes Eddie happy regardless of his current ailments; come sniffles or smiles.

Eddie doesn't realize when he had scooted down along the couch and closing in to Buck's torso, but the view is magnetic. The hard lines of the abdomen, perfectly contrasting with the softness of Buck's skin is so inviting.

Blaming his health condition and his scrambled state of mind, Eddie swears he could feel the comfortable warmth radiating from Buck's exposed belly, and without much thought, he places his head against the exposed skin, feeling completely blissful and content with the heat. Eddie nuzzles deeper into the warm skin, inhaling the musky smell that is definitely Buck while savoring the coziness and soon enough, Eddie is feeling himself falling asleep.

But it shouldn't be like this.

While it pains Eddie to wake Buck up, his better judgement knows that their current positions are not going to be kind for both of them. Their couch is not big enough to contain Buck's long limbs, and Eddie wouldn't want to spend his recuperating day listening to Buck whining about his achy joints.

His not so better judgement then decides that the best way to wake the snoring man up is by a very unorthodox method.

And without lifting his head up, "bruuuuuuurrrrrrrrhhh," Eddie blows raspberries hard against Buck's belly as long as his congested nose allows.

"Whuzza?" Buck startles awake, his body jerking back against the couch with clear confusion drawn on his face. His hand that was tucked underneath the t-shirt automatically moves downward to rub his tickled stomach.

Eddie smiles in triumph, satisfied with the outcome.

Buck looks around the living room, trying to find his bearing as he blinks rapidly, chasing the sleep away. His eyes finally falls upon Eddie who is sitting cross-legged on the floor parallel to his stomach, wearing a shit-eating grin.

"Eddie, what are you doing out of bed?" Buck croaks, still rubbing at his slightly wet skin. "Wait, did you just blew raspberries on my belly?" His eyebrows pinched and nose scrunching in confusion.

Eddie grins wider, shrugging his shoulder in dismissal, refusing to admit or deny any crime committed.

"You menace. You could just wake me up like how a normal human being would." Buck groans as he stretches across the couch, cracking and popping his back. "You should go back to sleep." Buck chastises as he settles down again, as if readying himself to actually sleep out in the living room, on their short-ass couch.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Eddie retorts, frowning as Buck does not move to get up.

"I was reading." Buck answers simply, stating the obvious fact.

"You usually read in our bed." Eddie counters as he throws his body onto the little space that is left on couch, pressing their bodies together in order to fit. Buck welcomes him and pulls Eddie into a warm embrace.

"I don't want to disturb you with the light." Buck replies in earnest, tightening his hold against Eddie's warm back, noticing that Eddie still has some temperature, but not as worrying as yesterday.

"But I'm sure you must be tired taking care of me and handling Chris, especially after a 24 hour shifts." Eddie looks up to meet Buck's soft gaze.

"You're worth it."

The open expression of love got Eddie shies away, burying his head at the crook of the taller man's shoulder. He is not used yet with the fact that someone actually cares for him, loving him so readily when he himself still a broken mess.

Both of us got baggages, Eddie. Maybe it is time for us to help carry each others' so the burden won't be too heavy.

"Your back will hate you tomorrow." He mumbles instead, trying to lighten the mood.

"That is for my future me to worry."

"Future you will whine for at least a week." Eddie scoffs at Buck's ridiculousness.

"I don't whine." Buck retorts, whining.

"Come back to bed. I need my personal heater back." Eddie tugs at the collar of Buck's ratty t-shirt.

"Now I know my place in this relationship. You only use me for my body heat."

"Don't forget the sex. And taking care of my son. And cooking." Seeing that Buck does not make any move to get up, Eddie burrows his nose against the man's chest, drinking in the scent that is Buck with every breath.

"Good to know your fever doesn't strip away your asshole-ness." Buck tighten his grasp, squishing the sick man in mock tackling all the while tickling lightly on Eddie's side.

Hearty laugh escapes from the brunette.

"You should be happy I'm coherent enough to have this conversation." Eddie looks up once again while catching his breath.

"I'm happy with you everyday." Buck leans forward and bridging in their gap, fully intend to go for a kiss.

Eddie places his hand on the apple of Buck's cheek to stop him from going any further. "You sap, and while I am very much interested in a kiss right now, but we couldn't risk for you to get infected." Longing colours Eddie's expression as he speaks, regretting not being able to catch Buck's breath, warm against his own lips.

Buck smiles his soft smile. "You. Are. Worth. It." He parrots his assurance from earlier, stressing each and every words.

Buck gazes into his lover's unsure eyes and leans forward to kiss Eddie's chapped lips chastily, silencing any incoming protest from the man.

"Worthy enough for you to get sick?"

"You know, in the law of contract, love and affection is a good consideration. So this love is always worthy."

Eddie blushes deeper, but blaming it on his fever.

"Are we contract boyfriend now? Am I a boyfriend for rent?" Eddie quips to deflect although he understands every weight behind Buck's analogy.

Buck snorts at the prospect of renting Eddie as his boyfriend. "No, but how about in the future, both of us enter into a contract of marriage?"

The room stills in deafening silence, and both of them seems to hold in their breath, neither want to break the moment.

After long seconds passed, finally Eddie dares himself to speak.

"Are you...proposing?" Eddie's cracked voice wavers, unsure of the implied meaning, not daring to let the budding of hope blossoms in the pit of his stomach.

"Not now...I uh...I want to do it properly, but that's definitely what future you and me would be getting into. I guess." Eddie could see the stiffening of Buck's shoulder as he turns his face sideway, away from facing Eddie, refusing to meet his eyes.

It pains Eddie that his response has cast a doubt in his boyfriend's voice. With their upgrade in relationship to live-in couple is still relatively new, it dawns on him that Buck's insecurity about his place in their home is still rearing its ugly head. Buck would think that things between them are going too fast, when in reality Eddie has always wanted Buck that way.

"Not if I propose first."

Buck's whole face immediately lit up in a dazzling way that could possibly blind Eddie, but that is enough for him to see the tension melts away from the blonde.

And even if Buck's bright smile could blind him in reality, Buck is definitely worth it.

[cirrius-akiyo]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, Porn with Feelings, Established Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Not Beta Read, Bury me under my grammatical mistakes, Fluff and Smut, Romantic Fluff, Soft Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Soft Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Soft Evan "Buck" Buckley, They're so in love with each other, Romance Series: Part 5 of Cirrius-Akiyo's Bunkdump Summary:

Buck always marvels at how easily he fits in Eddie's hand, and Eddie has always handle him with the outmost care.

Or..

A fic where Buck has feels with Eddie's hand.

Dear @novemberhush, here it is. 🙈/

///

Grounding.

That's the best word Buck could come up in describing Eddie's hand the first time he patted Buck's shoulder after saving the man with the live grenade stuck in his leg. Both of them were still high with the raging adrenaline and Buck swear he could float around if not because of the grounding hand on his shoulder, earthing him. And after the earthquake, seeing Eddie hugging his son so tightly, that was when Buck knew, albeit unsure, that he has fall in love with the man.

---Read the rest on AO3---

[cirrius-akiyo]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Songfic, Sickfic, Sick Evan "Buck" Buckley, Sick!Buck, Light Angst, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not Beta Read, Married Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Soft Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Worried Eddie Diaz, Caring Eddie Diaz, Sleepy Cuddles, Medical Inaccuracies Series: Part 5 of Love in the Dark Summary:

Eddie is not much a religious man, but he has always pray for God to take him first instead of Buck.

Or,

A soft fic with the two being so disgustingly in love with each other.

[cirrius-akiyo]

Hello!! From the angst/fluff list may I please request 18. It’s late.  Shouldn’t you be asleep?” and 86. "Don’t be scared, I’m right here.”? Is it possible to combine them, if not that's fine. Your fanfics are amazing ❤❤❤

Thank you my lovely! This took longer than I thought, but thank you for bearing with me.

This is number 18 and 86 from the Fluff/Angst Prompts List.

You can read the full version here at AO3.

Or you can read half of it below (it's too long to post all of it here):

Peering Through the Veil

Staring down at his half empty mug, Eddie silently curses the chamomile tea for failing to calm his jittery nerves. So much for false advertising.

It is past 1.00 a.m. and the rest of the crews are all in their respective bunks, saves for a few who are still wound up with residual adrenaline from their last call, Eddie included. 

But Michael and Shawn are off onto the rooftop searching for some fresh air, leaving Eddie alone in the kitchen with his thoughts.

Long minutes passed when Eddie hears the heavy footsteps climbing up the staircase leading to the loft. Thinking it is either Michael or Shawn, Eddie doesn't turn around to acknowledge their presence.

"Eddie?"

The familiar gruff voice got Eddie to swivel his head around, and his gaze falls onto Buck, whose eyes are still droopy from sleep. His hair curls haphazardly on the top of his head, a menial proof that at least someone got a good rest.

"It's late. Shouldn't you be asleep?" Buck breaks a yawn as he heads towards the cabinet, reaching for his favourite mug and fills it with water. Chris was the one who gave Buck the mug, insisting that Buck is the Mr. Red Hot Superhero and Eddie didn't have a heart to explain to the boy on the double entendre and that 'red hot' might implied something else. Yet Buck had happily received the mug and has been using it ever since, and even got mad when Billy had used it that one time.

Eddie shrugs. "In a bit. Finishing my tea first." He explains, lifting his half full lukewarm tea for Buck to see.

Buck seems to contemplate his simple answer while taking in small sips and Eddie swears he could feel Buck is peering through his mind.

Sure enough, Buck plops down onto the chair opposite to Eddie.

"Is everything okay?" Buck asks, one hand is playing with his mug, swirling the clear liquid around.

Who is Eddie kidding? Of course Buck could read him like an open book. They've been attached to the hips since Eddie's day one, and still going strong despite all the unsavoury circumstances they're stuck in, recent develoments included.

Risking a glance towards the other man who is still clearly anticipating for a reply, Eddie wipes his face harshly in search for some composure, and lets out a resign sigh.

"Hey, just because our relationship is on hold, doesn't mean I stop caring about you, Eddie. You are still my best friend. So what's up?" Buck leans forward, expressing his attentiveness.

Eddie sighs again. "Chris has been asking why didn't you stay the other night." His kid is too smart to not not noticing the shift in their schedule.

Buck bites his lower lip, worrying the tender red flesh. The lips that is not for Eddie to kiss anymore.

"Do you want me to talk with him? And if you wanted me to, I can sleep on the couch." Buck hesitantly offers, clearly not wanting to overstep the line Eddie had drawn himself.

"You'd do that?" Eddie's eyebrows shot up at Buck's suggestions.

"Sure. Anything for Christopher." The simple answer manage to gnaw on Eddie's core. 

The small smile that adorned Buck's face pains Eddie, tugging at his heart over and over and making it aches. All because he could still see the longing and hurt that still linger underneath the blonde's concrete mask. The mask Eddie himself had forced Buck to put on, albeit indirectly.

They do read each other openly.

"Buck..."

"Don't worry Eddie. I understand. I won't overstep." Buck stands up quickly after making the promise, rushing to put away his mug and hastily making a run towards the bunk room, leaving Eddie alone with his thoughts all over again.

Isn't this what Eddie wants? For them to take a break? Then why watching Buck leaving hurt Eddie so much when he was the one who left first?

* * *

"I think we should take a break." The words that came out from Eddie's mouth caused Buck to stiffen, his smile fell off his face. They were in the station's parking lot, ready to call it a day, and although Buck looked forward to seeing Chris, an invitation from Eddie never came.

"Are you...are you breaking up with me?" Buck timidly asked, not really looking at Eddie in the eyes. He just kept playing with the hem of his shirt, trying so hard to will the tears from falling.

"No. No. I love you Buck. But I don't think I am where I want to be yet. Chris loves you so much that I am afraid for things that might be...if we take our relationship further this fast." Eddie felt like a jerk for putting the devastating look in Buck's eyes. But in all honesty, that was not all the reason.

"I don't understand Eddie. What did I do wrong?" Buck whispered brokenly, slowly, so slow that the sound had tugged hard at Eddie's heart, making it ached with wants. "Was it because I told you I want to marry you someday? Was it too much?" Buck rambled on, trying to find the logical explanation for the uncalled situation.

Eddie stepped forward to put his hands on the younger man's shoulder, cutting his rambling short. "No, no, Buck. I promised you, you did nothing wrong. It is all on me...I...uh," Eddie struggled to find the right words, when in reality he had already single-handedly shattered the pure heart belongs to the man he loves.

"I just wish we have more time to navigate this newfound dynamic. My parents are coming down in few weeks. They are staying until Christmas and I don't want to spring this news to them. We're not in the best terms yet. I just don't want them to come out with more reason to force us, or worse, to move Chris back to El Paso." Excuses, excuses. That's all Eddie thought of when he heard himself sputtering the words out.

"So I was thinking, let's put this on hold first and see how the circumstances goes. They will be staying here for about three weeks, and you should be having a fun Christmas without needing to meet my parents." More excuses. Sad, sad case of flimsy excuses.

Eddie honestly thought Buck will put more fight, but...

"Okay." His flimsy excuses got Buck to resign dejectedly with one simple word, and Eddie had never hated himself more for causing Buck's glow dimmed.

"Just so you know, I'll be here and I love you." Buck tugged his shoulders free from Eddie's hold and start to walk away towards his Jeep without giving Eddie another glance. He loves Eddie too much that if Eddie truly wished for this, he'll gladly do it even if his heart shattered beyond salvation.

* * *

It has been two whole weeks from the fateful night of them taking a break from their relationship. Or Eddie forcing them to take one. Buck and Eddie still work fluidly side by side as if nothing has changed between them. Buck still jokes and let himself be carefree around him just like before, making Eddie feel like he has been thrown back into the past, before the day when Buck had declared his undying love to him.

Back to the status quo of being just best friends.

And Buck is doing a damn good job at being one.

They would still have the movie nights and weekend outings with Chris, but that's about it. The kisses, the lingering touches and the warm embraces of them making love are completely absent from their routine. Buck would dashed out of their home once Chris is tucked in, never stayed long enough for a beer or two, leaving Eddie completely lost for words.

Eddie knows he should be more proactive to insert normalcy into Chris' life that doesn't include much Buck-Time before his parents arrive, but honestly his heart can't look at the face Chris or Buck made if he told them that their plans are cancelled.

Eddie looks down from the loft, his gaze searching for a tall blonde that was not his. Buck is downstairs at the rig, trying to polish whatever dirt is there tainting the already shiny metal.

"You'll regret it if one day someone come and sweep him off his feet. He has the right to move on you know, even though he's quite firm of waiting for you." Hen suddenly piped up beside him, biting into her apple nonchalantly.

"You know?" Eddie sputtered. While they did come out to the team when they first got together, the pause in their relationship is not a public statement. They still live in each others' pocket when they're at the work, just devoid of small kisses and hand holding here and there.

"He told me because he doesn't want us to make things awkward between you two with our unwelcome remarks. To treat you guys like before both of you got into the relationship. And from what I see, you guys really did." She explains, a sad chuckle thrumming through her throat.

Eddie just nods. He doesn't really know what to say to that. Buck still look after him even he doesn't have to, just so Eddie wouldn't be uncomfortable from the peering eyes and gossiping smiles.

"That boy wears his heart on his sleeve and we all see how he loves you. He still does. I know because he has this look when he thought nobody is looking. He's good for you, you know. Not just you, but for Chris too. And I see how you look at him too. Just hurry up to catch up, or you'll regret it soon." Hen pats his shoulder firmly before walking off to throw the pit, leaving Eddie to soak in the sage words she left behind.

Gazing back down to where Buck is, Eddie couldn't help but to feel a spark of jealousy at seeing Buck chatted animatedly with Gillian who is pawing at the man's bicep nonchalantly. Eddie purses his lips. The audacity of some.

Hen doesn't need to remind him, he already regretting their little arrangements the moment he went spewing those nonsense that night in the parking lot.

///

Staring at the shift schedule written on the white board, Eddie couldn't help but to frown, feeling the unsettling nerve bubbling up from the pit of his stomach. And the Christmas songs playing on queue in the background only help to fuel his misery.

Of course he would see Buck's name listed on Christmas Eve and Christmas day.

"Did the white board offend you or something?" Chimney pipes up from his side, blowing bubblegum in his way of picking at Eddie.

"Or something." Eddie grumbles, skimming through the names that will be joining Buck later, grimacing when Gillian's name listed on both days.

"Ooh, pissy. Does this got to do with the fact that your parents are in town or the fact that you won't be spending Christmas with Buck?" Chimney continues to taunt him, jabbing where it hurts.

Both, okay! Eddie wants to scream at Chim who is looking extra smug for being able to push on his button. And for the love of everything holy, Eddie should see this coming. Chim and Hen might not tease them, but Eddie should know he wouldn't be spared from some ribbing, especially for putting Buck through this arrangement. Buck is their little brother after all, blood ties or not.

Deciding that while he loves Chimney, Eddie could strangle him to death with his own bubblegum if he stays any longer, so Eddie walks away towards the gym in search for the source of his troubling thoughts.

Buck is on the treadmill running gracefully at full speed, and Eddie stops on his track to admire the view for a while.

Buck has always been beautiful, graceful in everything he does, and Eddie has witnessed them countless times, admiring the nimbleness, either fully clothed or not. But now the later seems like a distant memory at the back of his mind. And Eddie is reminded again at how his sheets has been so cold these past weeks.

Buck must have notices him from the corner of his eyes and immediately slowing the machine to a stop before stepping down to meet Eddie halfway. Pulling out his earbuds, Buck throws a smile at Eddie as a greeting.

"Hey." Buck huff, still catching his breath. "You need a spot?" Buck glance at Eddie up and down before noticing that the older man is not in his gym attire and smiles sheepishly at that, murmuring an apology. Eddie could painfully hear the dwindling eagerness in the blonde's voice.

"I saw your name on Christmas shifts." Eddie whispers, not wanting to push Buck away with unnecessary argument. "You didn't tell me you're working. I thought you have this year's Christmas off." We're both off.

Buck rubs the back of his head, the tell-tale sign of impending lies or deflection.

"I uh... I owe Jake to cover some of his shifts."

So a lie then. Eddie knows very well Buck doesn't owe anyone to cover their shift this half year.

"You don't have to do this Buck. I'm sure Cap will find somebody else to cover his spot. You've been working on Christmas for three years in a row now." Eddie tries to talk Buck out of it, partly because he doesn't want him to be in a 24 hours shift with Gillian and her unwelcome pawing, and partly because a tremendous guilt is clawing on his conscience.

The little voice in his head is niggling at him that this year is supposed to be their first Christmas as a couple, and Buck must have look forward to it. But his stupid ass had put themselves through this mess and Eddie now has to lie on the bed that he had laid. Just peachy.

"I do, actually, have to do this." The cut off tone in Buck's reply just confirms his thought.

That Buck decides to work throughout Christmas because he doesn't has anything to do or anyone to celebrate with, since Maddie and Chim will be out of town to celebrate with his adoptive parents. And Buck does not want to be left alone. A notion Eddie should be familiar with. Or the one people he does want to be with had pushed him away.

The hurt look on Buck's face crushes his heart, because he knows damn well he had put it there himself.

"Look, you at least deserve a time off." Eddie tries again, but with each seconds passing as he stand before the heartbroken man, Eddie knows it is futile. It's too late now.

Eddie Diaz has single-handedly robs Christmas and all of its joy and happiness off Buck.

///

Turns out it did not take another person to swept Buck off his feet, but a broken beam.

And Eddie couldn't believe the news when Bobby first told him, his Captain's voice echoes against the ringing of his ears. Eddie could hear Bobby's frantic voice on the line asking if Eddie still there.

No. Eddie shouldn't be here because he should be there.

No.

Buck should be here instead.

Buck should be here, celebrating Christmas morning soon with him and Christopher. Buck should be sitting down with him watching Chris tears open every presents with glee. From the kitchen, Eddie's wild gaze falls upon a meticulously wrapped box among the arrays of gifts under the tree, remembering Buck has passed it through Carla to give it to Christopher, earning Eddie a disapproved glare from the iron lady.

"Yeah, I'm here Bobby. Where are they taking him?"

///

[cirrius-akiyo]

Chapters: 1/? Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)/Original Female Character(s)

Sometimes, Buck wishes he was born a female, then maybe he could easily confess his undying love to his best friend.

Or,

A feeling realization fic loosely based on Conan Gray's "Heather".

---------------------------------------------------

"You're still coming over tonight right, Buck?" Eddie asks while his head still stuck halfway inside his locker, packing the last of his things before going back home for the day.

"Sure. I'll just need to make a quick stop for gas and I'll come over with the pizza." Buck replies, not even lifting his head from where he is tying his shoelaces.

Eddie chuckles in elation. "Oh good. Thought you'd cancel on us with the storm." Eddie says as he locks the locker before joining Buck who is already standing at the door of the locker room with an umbrella waiting in hand.

"I'll storm the weather just to spend some quality time with Christopher, you know I will." And with you. But Buck just let the words die on the tip of his tongue.

They both carry on to walk side by side in sync towards their designated parking spaces located next to each other.

It is one of many moments that Buck loves. These small chances to be with Eddie. Call him selfish, but Buck will seize any moment to be in Eddie's space, the man that he comes to love so hard. Not that Eddie knows. Moreover, his best friend is as straight as the umbrella he is holding.

"Triple cheese and classic pepperoni, right?" Buck chimes as Eddie slides into his truck, angling the umbrella so that not a drop of rain touch his best friend.

"You know the drill." Eddie smiles while igniting his monstrosity of truck (as Buck described it) up.

"See you in a bit." It feels so intimate, bound by their little promises as if they are in their own little world, speaking their own tune and having their own routine. Buck allows his heart to relish in the present a bit longer.

///

The storm is not a merciful one and between the gas station and the pizza place, Buck is already halfway soaked to the bone.

Standing in front of Eddie's front door, Buck grimaces at the puddle forming under his shoes, feeling a little guiltier as the water follows into the doorway.

Eddie immediately comes with a towel in hand before taking away the pizza boxes. "You're soaked." He comments.

Buck takes the towel gratefully. "Thank you, Eddie. That is very observant of you." He quips jokingly while patting his body dry, not that the towel could dry much with how soaked he already is.

"Come on, let's get you in the shower. I'll lend you some of my sweaters later." Eddie pulls Buck's hand and drags him towards the guestroom. Buck shudders, some from the rain, but mostly from the warm touch of Eddie's hand in his. He immediately wills his heartbeat to calm down, because this lingering touch surely is to be missed greatly later on.

The shower is a quick one, just enough to warm him up. Stepping into the guest room, Buck can see Eddie already laid out a change for him, consisting of Eddie's favorite sweater and sweatpants.

Buck immediately feels giddy thinking how Eddie could simply lend him his favorite one just for Buck to sleep in and that tonight he'll be sleeping surrounded by something that smells of Eddie.

"It looks better on you," Eddie says from the doorway.

That immediately snaps Buck from his creeping minds. "What?" Buck stutters sheepishly. Real smooth, Buck.

"The sweater. You look good in it." Eddie compliments again. "But I want it back. That's my favorite." Eddie teases lightly.

"We'll see if you get it back." Buck retorts relieved Eddie didn't catch him daydreaming.

"Come on. Christopher is whining the pizza is getting cold." Eddie grabs Buck's hand again, and his treacherous heart starts to thump heavily again. This is all platonic, Buck. Buck chases his wishful thinking again.

They settle in front of the television and proceeds with the dinner and movie, just like every Friday night when both of them off from work. As usual, Christopher is nicely squeezed between the two man, delighted that his Buck is staying for the night due to the storm outside.

///

They are halfway through the movie when Christopher finally can't keep his eyes open anymore.

"I'll get him to settle for the night." Buck offers, already guiding Chris towards the bathroom to wash up. Eddie just hums appreciatively, taking another swing of his second beer.

Moments later, Buck returns to the living room, all satisfied that Chris is out in a blink. The school must be tiring for Chris today, who is usually vibrant with so much energy.

"Hey." Eddie greets when Buck steps towards the couch.

"Hey to you too. Are you planning to let loose tonight?" Buck shots up an eyebrow, seeing Eddie cracking up his third beer. Eddie is not the one usually getting all hammered up. In fact, he is the 118 designated driver every time they went out together, alongside with Bobby or Athena.

Eddie hums, relaxing more into his drinks. "Just feel like it. With you here, I think why not just a few more. We're both off tomorrow." Eddie smiles more widely to Buck, the alcohol is starting to affect him.

Buck knows he needs to take Eddie's words on face value, just the literal translation of them. But his mind just read the words as; "I trust you to watch over us when I am drunk." And that trust, Buck will wield them proudly.

Eventually, both of them focus back to the movie playing on the screen. But then, after the movie almost done, Buck could feel Eddie is slowly inching toward him on the couch and he immediately stiffen, not daring to hope.

"Have I told you, you look stunning in that sweater?" Eddie whispers in a hoarse voice.

Buck stammers, not really knowing what to do or say. Yet, Buck dares to turn his head to face Eddie, observing the flushed cheeks and hazed eyes. Eddie is clearly drunk.

"Eddie..." Buck warns as Eddie leans in, not wanting to take advantage of the situation despite his heart is raging hard against his ribcage, rivaling the storm outside.

Eddie stops with their lips barely touching each other at Buck's admonishment.

"You're drunk," Buck states, trying hard to level his voice and hide his nervousness.

Eddie scrunches his face in confusion, not understanding the implications.

"But I want to kiss you," Eddie says like it is obvious and Buck is the one not making any sense.

Buck knows Eddie and this is not his normal behavior. "Kiss me when you're sober." If you remember this moment.

Buck has been wishing for this for a long time, but he wishes Eddie was sober.

"If I am sober, I don't think I'll kiss you," Eddie says in a hushed whisper. "Sorry." Eddie continues to take another gulp of his drink like nothing life-altering situation just happened between them.

Stunned, Buck just agrees even though the fact that Eddie literally just confessed that he doesn't want Buck in his waking moment just shred his heart to a pulp.

Buck goes to bed that night with a heavy mind after shuffling a very much drunk Eddie to his room.

And as he predicted, Buck couldn't sleep a wink that night even though Eddie was able to drift away as soon as he hits the pillow.

When the morning comes, like Buck also foresee, Eddie doesn't remember a thing, and so, life moves on just like it was before, leaving Buck in his broken mess.

---Read the rest on AO3---

[cirrius-akiyo]

50* + buddie sorry but if you want to write both that is okay with me hehe

Read in AO3

@buckleysjareau , I couldn't help myself but to do both 49 and 50 from the Fluff/Angst Prompts List

I hope you'll enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it.

Thank you for the prompts. 🤗🤩

The moment Eddie agreed to throw himself into the underground fighting scene, he never thought in a million years he would get addicted to the adrenaline roaring through his vein with every punch that followed. Eddie thought he would be able to quit anytime he wanted to, because he was still in control, he needed to be in control. He woke up every morning convincing himself that those days would be his last in the scene, that he would stop when he could, that he would not let himself astray more than it was, but every triumph and money stacks he received at the end of his wins made it harder and harder to quit.

Of course, things got out of hand because the next thing he knew, his opponent was not breathing and Eddie knew without intervention, the man was as good as dead. Calling for an ambulance to the scene was a risky move, but deep inside he knew he is a firefighter first, and so he braced himself for the consequences as he dialed the 9-1-1. Consequences that include exposing himself open in front of Bobby, confronting the ghost of his stewed anger towards Shannon and towards himself. Consequences that had forced him to talk with Frank, leaving out all of his skeletons and miles long disappointments for a stranger to see.

Now, the consequences of his bad decision had come back to taunt him yet again, forcing him to wait once more at the wrong side of the hospital room.

Moving Christopher’s weight from one side to the other, Eddie wipes away the stray tear stains painted on his son’s face who has his head cradled at the crook of Eddie’s shoulder, still sobbing silently. The hushed sobs compel Eddie to stifle his own as he inspects the gauze on Chris’ left elbow, examining his own aching knuckles.

Eddie’s focus shifted from their minor injuries as he looks up at the direction the clicking sound of booted footsteps belongs to none other than Sergeant Athena Grant, who is walking towards them with urgency and purpose.

“How is he doing?” Athena queries as she takes a sit beside Eddie, her back stiffs against the hard chair, staying alert with any impending news.

Eddie purses his lips and spats bitterly in a hushed whisper, “Are you asking about Chris or Buck?” Because right now, both of them are far from being okay by Eddie’s definition. Hell, he himself is far from okay at the moment, so excuse him for struggling to contain his emotion.

But credit to Athena, she does not sway a bit with his little outburst and simply clarifies, “both.”

“Sorry.” Eddie exhales roughly, wiping his face with his free hand.

Athena smiles empathetically. “Don’t be. We are all strung out with the news. I have talked with Maddie and Bobby. She will be here soon. The rest of the team will come once their shift is over.”

Eddie nods, grateful for her help because the thought of calling Maddie or the team totally skipped his mind with his sole focus fixed on his family and their safety. “Chris got some bruise on his elbow when he skinned himself falling down. Other than that, he’s quite shaken up. Buck on the other hand,” Eddie paused, pushing the queasy feeling down before continues, “he was barely responsive when they brought him in. The doctor said something about possible concussion and broken ribs.” Eddie breaks his eye contact with Athena, not wanting her to see his brimming tears.

“How about you, Eddie?”

“What about me?” Eddie retorts defensively, pulling Christopher tighter into his embrace, as if he is ready to pick up the boy and run away, away from this mess and nightmare.

“As far as I’m concern, you’re a victim too in this attack. So, tell me, how are you doing?” She repeats herself, demanding for a no-bullshit answer.

“I’m fine. Buck took the brunt of it.” That is definitely a ‘bullshit’ answer.

Athena arches an eyebrow, giving Eddie a skeptical look but does not pries further on the subject.

Instead, she proceeds with her business with, “Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?”

There it is, the million-dollar question Eddie has been dreading the moment he saw Athena walked down the corridor. Because to answer her questions, Eddie needs to relive the hellish moment again, visiting his past mistake and he is not sure if he has the gut to do it.

“Can we please do this after Tia Pepa picks up Christopher?” Eddie tries to compromise, ignoring how broken his voice sounds, because he really doesn’t want to subject Chris through the torment again.

Athena nods in understanding. “Sure. I’ll wait right here with you, or do you want to be alone?” She asks as she changes her posture, preparing to leave if Eddie wanted her to.

“No, stay please. I don’t want to be alone.” Eddie pleads, not sure what comes over him as the words leave his mouth.

“Sure, honey.” Athena relaxes in her seat, but her keeping her guarding stance.  

 

///

 

“Are you ready, Eddie?” Athena starts, pulling out her notepad and pen.

Eddie nods, not trusting his words now because he would never be ready. All his life, he never would imagine himself being a victim, having caring countless victims in his few years of service, but today’s incident has changed the narrative.

“Do you recognize who hurt you? Hurt Chris and Buck?”

“Yeah. He uh… I uh… fought him once… during the street fighting, and uh, he lost quite a big sum that day.” Eddie grits his teeth, nausea building up behind his throat as he remembered the thrills he felt when he received the winning stacks, the elated face of Christopher when he bought him the latest Lego set using the bloody money. 

“Do you have a name?” Athena proceeds stoically, not a bit fazed by Eddie’s dirty little secret.

“Jake…um, Jake Woodson? I think so, yeah.”

“How about you tell me what went down from the beginning.”

Eddie shuts his eyes, trying to recall the mirage of the daunting memories. He could feel his palm getting sweaty under the visible stress. He really doesn’t want to do this, but the son of a bitch needs to pay for hurting his family, and so Eddie perseveres.

“We were at the park. The one near the firehouse.”

*

“It’s getting dark. You think it’s time to go home yet?” Buck asked as he shoved his hands into the pocket of his brown jacket.

“Yeah. I think we burn enough of Chris’ energy for today. I’m tucking him tonight.” Eddie smiled cheekily at the prospect of Chris easily falling asleep.

Buck pouted. “You always tucked him in when he already burned out. It’s not fair,” the man half grumbled.

Eddie chuckled heartily, grabbing Buck’s elbow as they strutted towards Chris who was still immersed feeding the ducks. “But you love it.”

“I do, but we are stopping by the McDonald’s afterwards.” Buck flashed him an evil grin.

“No, we aren’t.” Eddie chastised.

“Hey Chris! How does a McFlurry sounds?” The shouts caught Chris’s attention right away and he beamed at the promise of dessert.

“You vile, vile man.”

“You love me.”

“I know I do.”

*

“We were walking back to our truck when he approached.” Eddie continues.

“Jake Woodson?”

Eddie grimaced at the name, but nods in confirmation.

“So, what happened then?” Athena prods as she tries to paint a clearer picture of the incident.

“We were completely blindsided. I was about to help Chris into his seat when suddenly this man shoved me to the ground, bringing Chris down with me. That’s how Chris…” Eddie gestures to his left elbow, hoping Athena would comprehend.

*

“Hey! Get away from my family!” Buck growled before pushing the man away from Eddie and Chris who were still stunned on the ground.

The man, who Eddie swears got bigger from the last time Eddie saw him, sneered at Buck and before Eddie could warned his husband, Jake grabbed Buck’s head and smashed it hard to the side of their truck, painting the metal red.

Eddie screamed as Buck collapsed in a heap, his face scrunched in a mixture of daze and pain as blood sluggishly trickled down his temple.

*

Eddie lets out a harsh sigh, looking down at the tear drops staining his jeans.

“Do you want to take a break?” Athena places her hand on the sobbing man’s shoulder.

Eddie shakes his head. He wants to get this done and over with.

“I want to help Buck, but Christopher was crying behind me. I couldn’t simply leave him alone. What if Jake attacked him?” Eddie sheds angrily at the tears that doesn’t seem to be stopping.

The torn feelings he had felt at that time was agonizing.

“So, I…I pushed Chris to hide behind the truck…oh God! I should help Buck faster! I should...I should…,” Eddie breaths bleakly at the thought as he shuts his eyes close, trying to replay the moment where he could do better.

Athena immediately kneels in front of Eddie, trying to calm down the man who is now borderline hyperventilating. “Eddie, Eddie! Listen to me. Listen. What you did was right. Buck would want you to put Christopher’s safety first.”

Eddie inhales, feeling his breaths stutter in his chest.

“You have to breath. Calm down now, Eddie. What you’ve been through is traumatic, but you have to breath.”

Eddie tries his darndest best to hold himself together.

“That’s right. Keep breathing, Eddie.”

“Okay. Okay.” Eddie chokes back the sobs.

“Are you good to continue?” Athena eyes him.

Eddie nods feebly as he levels down his breathing pace.

“When I got to them, Jake was kicking Buck in the chest.” Eddie swallows hard, recalling how Buck tried to cover his head and chest in a losing fight. “I threw some punches but he won’t relent. Keep snarking about how I should lose everything too like he did.”

“Do you know what that means?” Athena asks further as she jots down Eddie’s statements.

Eddie shrugged, completely clueless. “I don’t know. I just know that I won big that day. I haven’t fight him again afterwards.” He hangs his head low as shame and guilt slithers up his spine.

Eddie is pulled out of his self-loathing when he heard a female doctor asks, “family of Evan Buckley-Diaz?”

Both of them stand up in record time, meeting the doctor halfway who is smiling softly, but Eddie does not dare to let his heart hope, not until he could see Buck is alive and well for himself. Because the last time Eddie saw Buck, the love of his life was half-conscious with blood covering most of his face.

“I’m his husband. Is he okay?” In any other circumstances, Eddie is always proud to tell anybody who is asking that Buck is in fact his husband, but never like this. Not in this sterile hospital corridor surrounded by death and diseases.

“Your husband is going to be just fine.” She starts off with assuring note before continues, “he sustained a nasty concussion and two broken ribs, but he is very lucky there is no internal bleeding, neither in the head nor chest, just some major bruising. Head wound tends to bleed a lot, a fact that I’m sure both of you are familiar with.”

“Can I see him?” His voice timid. The smile that never leaves the young doctor’s face did little to nothing in comforting his racing heart.

“Of course, but he is asleep now. He will be disoriented and most likely in pain when he wakes up later, but other than that, he should recover just fine with plenty of rest.” The doctor finishes off cheerily.

Eddie lets out a breath he didn’t realize he’s holding. Buck is fine. He is fine. Buck is alive. The mantra resonates throughout his body, vibrating at a wild pace throughout each cell.

But he is pulled out of his stupor when Athena pats his back. “I knew his thick skull would come in handy sometimes.” She chuckles wetly, and Eddie swears he saw the Great Athena Grant sheds a tear.

 

///

 

It was almost midnight when Buck stirs groggily, whining unhappily at the assault of pain his body is experiencing.

Eddie approaches his husband almost immediately, calming the struggling man in a hush manner. “Easy Buck.”

At the mention of his name, Buck looks up hazily towards the caramel-brown eyes that hold his world. “Y‘kay? C’ris?” He slurred, flinching as he tries to swallow.

Eddie lets out a wet laugh at Buck’s question as he fetches the water and guiding his husband for small sips.

“We are both okay. Some bruises, but you’re the one who manages to land on this beautifully crafted hospital bed.” Buck doesn’t seem to miss the broken notes in the man’s jesting laugh, but he chooses to let it slides as he turns his head around the room, noting the absence of their son.

Seeing the confusion on Buck’s face as he starts to thrash around, Eddie know exactly who is Buck looking for. “Chris is at Abuela’s. He’s fine.” Eddie emphasis on the word ‘fine’, just so Buck would calm down in his bed.

Yet Buck gives him an unimpressed look, sensing some omission of facts through Eddie’s cracked voice.

Eddie sighs dejectedly. All the time they have spent together, obviously Buck could easily read through his lies even in his groggy state.

“Just some bruises when he fell, I promise.” Eddie confessed. “But you on the other hand…” Eddie tries to find the right word that won’t hurt so much, but suddenly his eyes starts to dampen again.

This time, in the private company of his lover and away from judging eyes, Eddie couldn’t help himself but to cry.

“I almost lost you so many times before, but nothing compares of almost losing you because of my own stupid mistake. I am so sorry, Buck. I swear I never thought it would come down to this.”

“Eddie, I’ll do it all over again just so you and Chris will be safe.” Buck’s voice is definitely stronger and Eddie wonders where does Buck pulls the strength from, because right now Eddie is feeling weak on his knees himself and if he had not been sitting, he would definitely collapse. As his tears fall free, Buck seems to be more alert than before and Eddie couldn’t help but to feel ashamed his outburst has ripped Buck from his well-deserving rest.

“Do you think I’m broken? Because you’re the one on the hospital bed, but here I am struggling to contain myself when I should be the strong one.” Eddie hangs his head low as more broken sobs escapes him.

“Eddie, look at me.” Buck cups Eddie’s chin with his right hand, wary of the IV lines as he pulls his lover’s face towards him. “Eddie, nothing is wrong with you. Struggling is what we do best, and people like you and me struggle because we care, we’re not giving up and we’re trying to stay afloat. Am I wrong?”

Eddie tries to look away, but Buck's face and arched eyebrow say that he demands a response. 

“No, you’re not. You’re right.” Eddie lets out a small smile at Buck’s words of affirmation.

“Heck yeah, I’m right. I choose to marry you and I’ve chosen to stay with you throughout your struggles.” Buck plops down on the pillow. “But for now, I’m struggling to stay awake. Get in here with me?” Buck scoots over and pulls his blanket to make space for his husband, careful of the lines  and wires hanging around him.

“I’m sure it will be a tight squeeze.” Eddie shakes his head affectionately at Buck’s proposal, not that he would fight it much if Buck insists.  

“Please. I sleep easier with you close to me.” And there is the puppy eyes attack and Eddie finally relents as he climbs onto the bed gingerly, trying not to jostle Buck’s ribs much.

“Athena was here. She said your thick skull is what saved you.” Eddie whispers against Buck’s shoulder, basking in the warmth that seeps through the thin hospital gowns.

Buck only smiles at the remarks, already half asleep.

Eddie knows he should update their family soon, but that is for future him to handle, because right now, he just wants this moment to be just for the two of them.

“I love you and all your struggles too.” One last confession before both of them paddles through their dreamland.

[cirrius-akiyo]

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)/Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Angst and Feels, Heavy Angst, Feelings Realization, Oblivious Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, hurt!buck, Getting Together, Internalized Homophobia, Not Beta Read, bury me under all of my grammatical errors, Soft Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Angst with a Happy Ending, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug, Friends to Lovers, Sickfic, Sick Evan "Buck" Buckley, Fever, Delirium, Worried Eddie Diaz Summary:

Buck wants to move on, he really did, but Eddie is catching up. Will they arrive at the place they both wanted to be?

CHAPTER 2 - NOT AS PRETTY IS FINALLY HERE!

------------------

When he woke up the next morning, Buck knows something is not right. He feels hot and cold all at the same time, and his throat feels scratchy and raw. With how long he was stranded in the rain last night, coupled with heavy crying, no wonder Buck feels like death loomed over today. Buck curses the toxic rain when violent coughs suddenly rattle his aching chest.

But...his mind supplies; at least he doesn't need to show up at the firehouse, plastering his happy face when clearly he is not okay, physically or emotionally. Buck decides to take the cold as a blessing in disguise and promptly calls Bobby to call out from today's shift.  

///

"We'll be a man down today. Buck just called out. He's down with cold." Bobby commences the morning briefing by informing the crews of the latest updates.

It is not unusual for them to call out from time to time, but Buck never did. Even during his last massive migraine, he still come to work, only to be driven home by Bobby with a flask of hearty potato and carrot soup in tow.  

And with Buck's track record, this definitely a reason to worry.

"Is he okay?" Eddie frets, distress clearly drawn on his face.

"He said it is just a common cold, but we will keep high alert on him." Bobby assures, trying to calm the distraught man.

"Don't worry, man. I'll ask Maddie to keep an eye on him. You'll have your partner back soon enough." Chimney says while patting Eddie's back as the morning briefing continues. With Maddie approaching her due date in less than 3 months, she already drop off some shifts. The stress from intense 911 calls are not really good for the baby, and she's been yapping at Chimney on how bored she is. So maybe this is a win-win situation.

Eddie is still unsure about that, but something is clearly wrong. For one, he feels like Buck was behaving oddly these couple of weeks, but he was still all smiles and cheery with the team and Christopher. Just...weird, at least to Eddie.

Not that Eddie has the opportunity to inquire, with his free nights spent with Heather. Thinking back, it has been some times since he last hang out with Buck, just the two of them. Maybe he should drop by later. Not for beer as usual, but maybe with some food from Abuela.

"Control center to Eddie Diaz." Chimney quips, jerking Eddie back to the present moment.

Hen puts a hand on Eddie's shoulder with a concern look eyeing at him silently.

"I'm just worried about him. Does Buck seemed okay lately to you guys?" Eddie's question goes unanswered, just acknowledged by collective hums by the duo.

Hen exchanges side glances with Chim, a silent communication transpired between them, totally unnoticed by Eddie who is still very much bummed out without his partner today.

Read the rest on AO3

[cirrius-akiyo]

Evan: But I'm dying for a cheesecake. How could you. :( 

Eddie: You will not die from a cheesecake craving. 

[cirrius-akiyo]

Last Lines

I was tagged by this lovely @kitkat0723 . Pardon the lateness. This week has been hectic. 

---Post your last line! Your last paragraph! Your last magnum opus (or first magnum opus? Not sure how that works). Anyway, do the thing. Write the words. Share the stuff.---

Honestly, I am writing three WIPs all at the same time because I am an indecisive bi**h and even worse at stringing the words together. 

From WISH I WERE HEATHER:

“Do you love her?” Hen asks straight to the point, eyes firmly set on Eddie. 

“I mean, she’s great and all...,” Eddie dwindles under her scrutinizing look. 

“No. Do. You. Love. Her?” Hen asks again with a more pointed look. 

From FOCAL POINT:

But one thing that kept niggling at the back of his mind was; how are you suppose to tell your son that his Buck, his best friend, his Pops, is not coming home tonight, or ever, God forbid. How? How do you save your son from going through the heartbreak when yours was already broken? 

From upcoming installment for the LOVE IN THE DARK SERIES:

There will be a day when Eddie will not be able to feel the thumping anymore, which he prays to be far away from now. His selfish desire also wish for GOD to take him first, saves him from the devastation of losing his husband and soulmate. 

---

Putting these out here, there are some serious angst going on, but I promise, I am a sucker for Fluff that should be stuck somewhere during the brainstorming. 

Tagging these awesome writers that I am seriously curious about their latest WIPs @teambuddie-118 @matan4il @diazbuckleysworld @madamewriterofwrongs @vampirebuckley @casscent @thisissirius @hearteyesforbuck

[cirrius-akiyo]

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sickfic, Songfic, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Whump, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Not Beta Read, Established Relationship, Married Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Emotional Eddie Diaz, Sick Evan "Buck" Buckley Series: Part 1 of Love in the Dark Summary:

"I kissed Ana."

---I am finalizing the 5th installment for the series, so here I am shamelessly reposting this one---

[cirrius-akiyo]

Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Domestic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Fluff, Married Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Established Relationship, Bury me with all my grammatical errors, Not Beta Read, Songfic, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Fluff and Smut, Explicit Sexual Content Series: Part 4 of Love in the Dark Summary:

Buck is going to fight for their love. Sugar, sprinkles and all.

[Finally we reach to the final chapter of the fourth installment ;) Thank you all :)]

Salvation of a Sinner

Eddie can smell his husband first before seeing him when he wakes up that morning. Buck smells like warm sugar and chocolate, with a hint of whipped vanilla.

For the last two and half days, Buck and Chris have been experimenting with the baked goods they supposed to prepare for the upcoming Bake Sale. Chris was quite indecisive and Buck having all the time on his hand now, decided to indulge their son and to try and see what came out the best.

The baked goods were then brought to the 118 with voting papers attached. The station actually looked brighter the moment Buck stepped inside with Carla in tow, all smiles and radiant. Eddie could see the small tension in Buck's shoulder melted away when he chanced a glance towards the locker, seeing his nameplate and gears were still there, loyally waiting for the owner to return.

Eddie himself can't wait for his husband to be cleared for duty, but presently, he needs to get ready for work, which will be long and arduous without Buck besides him.

He shifts towards Buck who is still very much asleep, marveling at the view of the peaceful features. Warm breath puffing in small huff from the parted mouth and Eddie can't resist but to lean down and kiss the edge of the red pouty lips. Buck scrunches his face when Eddie's morning stubble scratches his nose.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Eddie nuzzles into his husband's cheek, deliberately scratching the skin with his stubble knowing that will goad Buck awake.

"Ugh, go away you scratchy devil." Buck croaks, voice thick with sleep as he tries to push Eddie away before snuggling deeper into his pillow.

"Well husband of mine, do I need to remind you that you got 300 batch of Krispy treats and brownies to make today?" Eddie proceeds to scratch Buck's tousled bedhead, feeling the soft hair there, which only cause Buck to melt further in content.

"It's Rainbow Rice Krispies Treats and Cookies-and-Cream Oreo Fudge Brownies." Buck sasses. Those two got the highest vote from 118, much to Chris' delight. Despite being indecisive, Buck knew Chris was leaning towards the two, so if Buck rigged the votes just to give Chris some sense of validation, their son doesn't have to know.

"Which will not get done by themselves, fancy name or not." Eddie sasses back.

"Urgh, you’re so mean." Buck whines while stretching his elongated body like a cat. "Why can't you stay home and help me bake 'em?" Buck then plops his head into Eddie's lap, smacking his face into his husband's stomach, teasingly blowing raspberries like he usually does with Chris.

Eddie just chuckles, reminding himself how much he loves this man not to smack his arse away.

"Because you know I can't bake shit and I don't want to get my feelings hurt when you kick me out of the kitchen later. And also, why I already enlisted Carla's and Abuela's help." Eddie replies.

"You don't have to do that, you know. I can manage myself." Buck curls his hands around Eddie's waist, content with the warmth there.

"And risk Abuela killing me? No thanks." Eddie quips back. He swears even before they got married, Buck is already Abuela's favourite grandson. The man is charming, Eddie can't compete with that. But most of all, Buck is still prone to exhaustion and dizziness. Eddie sometimes caught him trying to steady himself once in a while, and while that obviously worries him, Eddie doesn't want to be condescending or patronising to Buck. Buck will hate him if he was to be treated like an invalid.

His hand then slowly travels to Buck's lower back, nearing the edge of his sweatpants and start to trace meaningless pattern there which only cause Buck to shudder with anticipation.

"Don't start something you can't finish, husband." Buck warns, breathing slightly hitched. He is not to be left alone in wanton if Eddie decides to rile him up before leaving him unsated.

"Who said I can't finish them?" Eddie smirks, bowing down to meet Buck's lips before kissing him causing Buck to grin in delight like a Cheshire cat.

"Prove it." Buck challenges.

Later, Eddie will find himself rushing through their front door trying to get to work on time, but not before leaving a very satiated husband in his wake.

///

Evan: The treats are almost done! >_< *image attached*

Eddie: They look fantastic, sweetheart! Good job! :)

Evan: But this treat *image attached* is far from being done. ;)

Eddie chokes on his freshly brewed afternoon coffee. One moment he was looking at arrays of fancy looking brownies and Krispies Treats cooling on their respective trays, then another moment he was staring at his half-naked husband, covered only in the “Lick the Spoon” apron. Buck was standing against the kitchen counter, flaunting his miles long leg with one hand teasing the gap between the thin material of the apron and the milky skin while licking a chocolate covered spatula held by the other hand. Some chocolate even dripping onto his bare chest. How did he even manage to snap this picture?

Eddie: R you crazy? Carla might see you! Or Abuela or Chris!

Eddie swears he never type that fast in his life before. He’s anxious, slightly furious, nobody is going to tell him otherwise, but he’s still saving the picture for you know, record purposes. But Eddie really wants to save Abuela, Carla and Chris from the nightmare of catching Buck sauntering around in their house naked.

Evan: Why? This treat isn’t that inviting? :(

Eddie: Evan, NO. =_=

Evan: Mean. :(

Eddie puts away his phone, determines to finish up his coffee before another alarm rings. They were having back to back medical calls all morning, so a quiet afternoon is very much appreciated.

When he is halfway through his cup, his phone vibrates again. Eddie rolls his eyes, expecting another antic of Buck sulking.

Evan: How about now? *image attached*

Eddie sputters, immediately stands up and fled downstairs while muttering furious curses under his breath, leaving a very confused Hen and Chim who are throwing each other silent glances, wondering what’s going on with the man.

“What’s up with him?” Chim whispers underneath his magazine. Hen shrugs. “Maybe a stir-crazy Buck is driving his husband out of his mind again.” Chim scoffs. “Glad I’m married to the other Buckley.” Hen smirks deviously. “Don’t be so sure. She’s still early in her pregnancy. Wait until she’s big and swollen, then we can have this conversation again.” She pats his shoulder before standing up to fix her own cup of coffee, leaving a very rattled looking Chim.

Safe in the deepest part of the storage room where nobody can take a peek on his phone screen, Eddie dares to open again the last image Buck has sent to him, slowly releasing his breath that he doesn’t even notice he’s holding. Eddie emits a strangling noise once the image popped up.  

Buck is in their bedroom, grinning widely at the mirror while still wearing the damn apron. Only now his bare ass is on full display, with little to nothing left for imagination saves only with the ribbon-loop of the apron loosely tied on his waist.

Buck flaunts his body in a way that he definitely knows is able to wake Eddie’s primal desire and he can’t risk gawking upon the picture in the common area. He has a reputation to hold, a man of principle that is not easily swayed by his sexy and charming husband.  

Eddie: Goddammit Evan! I’m at work. >:(

Evan: See you at home, husband. :)

Evan Buckley-Diaz is a menace and a chaos, but Eddie loves him anyway.

///

Later when Eddie return to a quiet home, his mouth water for totally different reason. Buck is no longer in the skimpy apron. Instead he found his husband sleeping on the couch engulfed in Eddie's LAFD hoodie and a very short shorts. Booty shorts short. His bubble butts perfectly filled them in, and it took greater self-restrain than Eddie initially thought he needed to stop himself from groping that ass, hard. From the look of it, Eddie dares to say Buck is trying to entice him when he comes home that night but finally succumb to the grip of sleep.

If Eddie didn't notice how tired Buck looks, Eddie would have him ravished there and then, consequences be damned. Plus, his husband has been riling him all over at work, but Eddie is a sensible man who thinks with his brain and not his dick, and his brain is telling him Buck needs his rest and sleep.

"Let's get you to bed, sweetheart." Eddie pulls Buck hand, trying to tug him into sitting up after he switches off the TV that is still flickering at the background.

"Carry me." Buck whines adorably, now hunching forward into Eddie’s tummy, still half-asleep.

Eddie scratches Buck's scalp before scooping him up in bridal carry. Buck has gained some of the lost weight, but he's still far along from bulking up to how he was before. At least his face is less gaunt, and he has more definition in his cheeks now.

Eddie peeks inside Chris’ room when they passed his slightly ajar door.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Eddie asks once Buck is safely deposited onto their bed. He then drags their duvet to tuck his husband in and fluffing his pillow up, pleased to see how content Buck looks.

"Em hmm." Buck replies albeit inarticulately.

"You're sure you don't need any of us accompanying you? Might be a lil bit late for me to opt out from work, but Carla and Abuela would be glad to do so. I can even cash my shift change with John tomorrow morning." Changing into his night wear, Eddie makes his way to the bathroom to wash up, keeping the door ajar. He already showers at the station beforehand so that he doesn't disturb Buck in case he's already asleep.

"Chris will be there." Buck replies while shifting on the bed to face the bathroom door.

"Chris doesn't count, sweetheart." Eddie leans on the doorframe with toothbrush still in hand.

"Just help me load them into the jeep first thing tomorrow morning and we're good." Buck half mumbles.

"Mmm." Eddie agrees, mouth full of toothpaste. “Are you sure?” He continues after spitting out the foam.

“Positive, Eddie. Now can you come in here faster. I’m cold. Need my human-radiator.”

Finishing up, Eddie proceeds to slide in under the duvet, shutting off the night lamp before pulling Buck into his embrace.

"Alright, your human-radiator is at full service. Go to sleep now. I love you." Eddie whispers to the crown of Buck's tousled head, soft curls tingling his nose.

"I love you more. Sex me." Buck starts to trace lazy patterns on Eddie's abs, nearing more to his happy trails, while trying to grind his groin with Eddie’s thigh together albeit weakly. The thin material of his booty short definitely doesn’t help Eddie’s cause here. While that is very inviting, he doesn't want them to make another hospital trip with Buck in tow. Eddie doesn’t want to be answerable to any of their family and friends as to why Buck is admitted again. Dying by being dicked.

"You're tired. I'll sex you up tomorrow morning if you up to it." Eddie swiftly catches Buck's wandering hand, immediately stopping the man from cupping his dick. If his half-hard dick has eyes, they would be giving Eddie stink eyes at the lost of sensation.

Buck seems to contemplate on the idea. "Sex me up good?" He finally concedes. Buck does feel tired. Exhausted really. If Carla and Abuela didn't help, he's positive Eddie might be coming home to him passed out on the kitchen floor.

Buck feels Eddie's lips pressed against his temple before Eddie brings Buck’s wandering hand up onto his mouth, pressing a kiss to the knuckles.

"The best."

"Promises, promises."

Eddie can feel Buck relax in his hold and melted against his chest. A beat after that, Buck is already snoring softly. While Eddie feels like the weight of the day lifted from his shoulder, the weight of his husband pressing against him grounding him in a very comforting manner. Before long, Eddie finds himself drowsy and sleep comes peacefully to him.

"I thank God for everything

That you showed me, that you showed me, yeah

And I thank God for everything

That you showed me, that you showed me"

///

Buck is not a stranger at Christopher’s school events. Even before they got married, Buck had attended few show-and-tells, few plays and some projects exhibitions. However, when it comes to anything related to Chris’ English Class, Buck tends to avoid them like a plague, worried to collide with one Ana Flores. Buck is a firm believer that no confrontation is the best defense.

Ana Flores who is smart, pretty, lovely and everything nice. Ana Flores who had made Eddie acting like a fool the very first time he met her.

Ana Flores whom in Buck’s drug induced dream, smiling in their annual family Christmas card, who stands beside Eddie on Christopher’s graduation day, who sits at the front row when Christopher standing at the altar, waiting for his spouse-to-be.

So, what if Buck feels threaten by another woman. Hen said his feeling of insecurity is valid when Buck turned to her one day. Even though Ana now is not Chris’ teacher anymore, she is still the teacher responsible for special education kids. So, it was not surprising when Eddie bumped into her during the last parents-teacher meeting that eventually had led to all this mess.

Buck has forgiven Eddie and they’re past that. Even if Eddie still find it hard to believe it, Buck honestly doesn’t hold any anger, what’s more any resentment towards his husband. Eddie has confessed right after he got home that night, and ever since has been trying so hard to make amends. True, the doubt on his self-worth seems to be amplified, but Eddie keep proving to him repeatedly after the aneurysm to not be. Buck takes that as a win.

As for Ana Flores, Buck is not sure about his feeling towards the teacher. It’s not mere resentment, not bitter, not anger but more like insecurity and apprehension. Ana is everything that Buck isn’t. Specifically, Ana has something Buck will never have. A womb. The ability to carry a child. Eddie has created wonderful Christopher with Shannon before. What does Buck have to offer?

And now Buck is sweating buckets under his Henley. Even though Eddie had kept his promise and sexed him up good first thing this morning, they did nothing to calm his nerves when he starts up his jeep.

Buck knows he had come out strong to Eddie, saying he would be fine. But the truth is, he is a nervous wreck. Now Buck is starting to regret denying Eddie’s offer to come along, quoting that the team is already one man down and he did not want to impose Abuela or Carla any more than needed.

Chris is excited, ecstatic to sell the sweet goodness they have baked, and Buck doesn’t want to crash his enthusiasm by being a coward.

So here is Buck standing his ground and staking his claim, fully armored with all the sugary sweetness and one marvelous son (and a slight aching bum).

Arriving at the school, a volunteer leads them towards the registration counter where a teacher is attending eager students and equally eager parents as to their respective booth.

What is the chance that the teacher happens to be none other than Ms. Ana Flores? Well, the chance apparently is 100% for Buck because sitting at the counter, is the Ana Flores, wearing a daffodil hued blouse and sky-blue skirts. There is no denying it, she does look pretty, hair all swaying in the breeze.

Before Buck can collect his nerve, Chris has trudges forward like a man with mission. Well, they do have a mission if 300 brownies and Krispy Treats is anything to go by.

“He - Hello, Ms. Flores.” Chris strides his way towards the teacher, who later smiles brightly upon seeing the little man.

“Hello, Christopher. Are you ready to sell?” Ana greets back, now shifting her whole attention to Chris after another teacher took her place to assist other participants.

“Yeah. We baked – lots – and lots and we gonna sell lots – and lots.” Chris cheers enthusiastically. Watching Chris interacting with his (former?) teacher, Buck has since regains his confidence. You got this, Buck!

Ana looks up and saw Buck, and Buck smiles his thousand-megawatt smile, one that he used to throw around at the crowd of young spectators during their rescue. One that had made Eddie extremely jealous when a young man slipped his phone number into Buck’s pocket after saving his roommate. Here goes nothing.

Buck can’t help to notice Ana’s smile falters a bit after seeing him. Does she had hope Eddie will be the one coming? Alright, time to mark your territory, Buck. Buck braves forward, approaching the two.

“Hi, I’m Buck. I think we have met before.” Buck offers a handshake, still wearing the crowd-pleaser smile of his.

Ana seems to be pulled out from her stupor. “Yeah. Yes. I’m Ana. Umm, yes, we have met before, but we didn’t really introduce ourselves. I’m sorry, I was actually expecting Mr. Diaz. Christopher said his dad will be coming for this Bake Sale.” She replied cautiously while shaking Buck’s hand.

Buck raises his eyebrows. Huh. Cutting straight to the chase, won’t we?

But before Buck is able to open his mouth to cut Ana down a size, Chris chimes in, “Buck – Buck is my other – father, Ms. Flores. He is – my Pops.”

If anything, Buck leers wider. Take that Miss. Oh, Chris is up for a good treat this weekend. “Yeah, the name is Evan Buckley-Diaz, but people usually call me Buck. Eddie is my husband. Technically, I am the other Mr. Diaz. Is there a problem, Ms. Flores?” Buck asks while batting his eyelashes, eyes never leaving Ana’s, feigning innocence rivaling Chris’.

The moment Buck introduced himself, Ana suddenly freezes, breaking the eye contact first. Buck too, freezes because Ana froze, does that make sense? Buck can feel the electrifying tension in the air during the beat of silence between them.

What Buck does not expect is for Ana to blush. “I... well...I am,” Ana is gaping like a fish, trying to collect herself. While Chris giggles as if Ana has grown another set of head, now Buck genuinely pities her. Did he come in too strong? The momentary triumph he felt few minutes ago slowly ebbed out of him. Shaming Ana in public has never been in his plan, because Buck still remember being publicly humiliated after that poor man stole his identity to catfish unsuspecting women.

“Well, Mr Buckley...Diaz...,” Ana stammers.

“Just Buck, please.” Buck offers sympathetically.

“Well, Buck...” Now she is stumbling with the checklist, flipping through the names and stops at ‘E.B.Diaz’ written beside ‘Christopher D. B. Diaz’, oh, ooh, oooh, “your booth’s number is 29. You can unload your goods at the main entryway. Another volunteer will guide you to your booth and help you with the loads.” Ana finally gets her act together, switching into more professional demeanor, albeit a bit tensed.

“Thank you, Ms. Flores.” Buck simply said.

“Sure.” She nods ardently.

“Let’s – g – go Pops. The brow – brownies will get hot in – in the car.” Chris is already tugging Buck to move, blissfully unaware of the tension rising between the two adults.

///

When Ana sets her eyes onto one Edmundo Diaz for the first time, she knew she likes him. After knowing that Eddie's wife is out of picture long time ago, she knew she got a chance. Gathering information from Christopher’s stories, Ana collected that Eddie never tried to date again. The only constant is this guy named Buck whom according to Chris is his and his father's best friend. Chris incorporates Buck into every family-related project or homework.

She saw Buck a few times, picking up Chris from school, and even attended the school play and science fair. Tall, buff, and handsome, but she already got her eyes fixed on Mr. Diaz.

Now that Christopher is not in her class anymore, she finally made her move to convey her feeling to Mr. Diaz. She thought she would be more articulate, but she ended up jump straight to kissing Mr. Diaz after the parent-teacher conference. Which she admits, not her finesse moment, but before she can deepen the kiss, Mr. Diaz pulled back before cursing in long succession of Spanish and English. The man literally dashed across the hallway faster than the school’s track and field’s athlete. Did she feel humiliated? Yes. Will she give up? Absolutely not.

So, Ana waited for her chance to talk to Mr. Diaz privately.

But her chance never came afterwards. Later, she learnt that Buck was in hospital, which might explain the reason Christopher has been skipping schools for few days here and there.

But now, with the Bake Sale is coming, Ana sure her chance is finally here. Chris had confirmed that his father will be joining the Bake Sale and Ana can't wait. She wore her best outfit, dressed to the nine and even had her hair and nails done.

Then Ana met Buck instead of Mr. Diaz, who appears to be the one accompanying Christopher for the Bake Sale. He’s thinner than the last time Ana saw him, but otherwise looked healthy. Oh wait, scratch that. Evan Buckley-Diaz. E.B. Diaz. The E.B. Diaz. And Ana never had wished so hard upon a star for a hole to suddenly swallow her into the deepest pit, never to come up back again. Let her be buried in shame and disgrace.

///

After a very successful sale at the Bake Sale this morning, Buck and Chris return to their home with heads held high, clearly pleased with the outcome. Buck just earns himself the right to gloat to Eddie for the rest of his life. Despite he can see that Ana was actively avoiding their way, Buck didn’t allow it to bother him. What’s important is that Chris is happy, and he had stood his ground, introducing himself as Chris’ other official parent.

What he doesn’t expect is for Ana Flores to stand before their front door that late afternoon.

“I kissed Eddie.” She promptly blurts out.

Now Buck senses like he is experiencing some kind of deja vu.

///

Ana Flores might be a determined woman, but a home wrecker she is not. If confessing her sin is what needed so she can sleep at night, so be it.

And that's how she finds herself standing in front of the Diaz, no, Buckley-Diaz residence, late in the afternoon after the Bake Sale. Mrs. Dolores had given her some serious side eyes when she skipped the cleaning duty, citing family emergency. Well, technically this is an emergency. A family might be torn apart because she did something stupid.

She has drafted a perfect apology speech during her drive to the couple’s residence, but every word flew away the moment Buck opened the front door. “I kissed Eddie.” She blurts out, as finesse as the first time she kissed Mr. Diaz.

She nervously waits for the impending yells, or even slaps, but they never come. Instead she finds Buck doubling over, laughing his heart out. Now she is even more confused than the first time she discovered Mr. Diaz has remarried. Has another of his aneurysm popped?

“Mr. Buckley-Diaz…?” She inquiries, genuinely concern as to Buck’s health.

“I’m sorry. One moment. Oh, and just Buck, please.” Buck gathers his breath, some small chuckles escaping him.

“Mr. Buckley, please… I am so sorry.” Ana pleads, guilty etched on her sullen face.

“It’s okay. I gather that you didn’t know?” Buck asks back. From her demeanor after Chris dropped the bomb, she looked completely blindsided. Buck couldn’t possibly hold that against her.

Ana nodded furiously. “If I had known, I would never… I swear.”

“I believe you.”

///

The smell of rich chocolate still wafts sweetly through the front door when Eddie returns home that evening. He immediately feels at ease the moment he steps into their little house.

“I’m home.” He calls out to his family whose laughter could be heard emanating from the kitchen. To be honest, Eddie has been slightly on edge about the day, and Buck doesn’t really give him much update except from “it’s great” and “see you at home later”.

“Welcome home!” He hears Buck replies (yells) back to him.

Eddie quickly makes his way towards the kitchen. The dinner table is full of the duo’s bounties today. Chris must have convinced Buck to try everything out and Buck must have been indulging their son endlessly.

“How does it go?” Eddie questions tentatively, rounding his way to hug Buck who is sitting beside Chris.

Buck cheekily shows him the stacks of empty trays sitting by sink, waiting to be cleaned by none other than Eddie himself. Eddie can see how Chris’ and Buck’s eyes glimmers and wide grins spread across their faces, both vibrating in eagerness.

Something crossed on to his mind. “Did you guys sell everything?” Eddie exaggerates his surprise, pleased to see how both are smiling even brighter.

“Y – yes – Daddy.” Chris nods keenly, Eddie worries his neck might hurt.

“Good job big man!” Eddie throws a high five.

From the side of his eyes, he can see Buck pouting. “How about me?”

“Well, you did a good job baking, but I am sure Chris here is the selling point.” Eddie smirks teasingly.

Buck huffs. “Well, then please do a good job cleaning up those trays. Abuela wants them to be shiny when we return them later.” Buck quips before walking away with Chris in tow, ready to turn for the night.

///

Buck returns to the kitchen after finishing tucking Chris in.

“He’s asleep?” Eddie asks from the sink, still trying to scrape away the residues that somehow leaked from the baking paper.

“Not even reaching another page of the book.” Now they are on the first one of the Diary of the Wimpy Kid series. Buck then leans against the counter beside Eddie who is still struggling with the mess.

Eddie hums, still focusing hard to scrape the gooey madness that somehow refuse to go away.

“You only answered part of my question just now. How does it go?” Eddie turns towards his husband, already given up on the trays.

Oh.

“Peculiar yet funny things happened, you won’t even believe me.” Buck provides while hands pulling Eddie closer to him.

Eddie’s eyebrows crease in confusion. “Dare to enlighten me?” His hands in turn snakes around Buck’s waist.

“Ana doesn’t know that we are married. Never know that you remarried. Thought E.B. Diaz is Edmundo B. Diaz, Not Evan Buckley-Diaz. Plus, Chris had graduated from her class when we got married, so she doesn’t really get the notice.” Buck explains, patiently waiting for Eddie to wrap his head on the story.

At that very moment, Eddie’s worldview just cleared up even more. Huh.                

“Evan, I…” Eddie suddenly sounded a little bit on edge. If Ana didn’t know, then the burden of the guilt shifted onto him totally. Eddie only have himself to blame.

Sensing the tensing in Eddie’s voice and the way he is trying to free himself from their intertwined limbs, Buck just embraced him tighter and start swaying their bodies to the invisible rhythm.

“We’re past all that, Eddie. You didn’t know that she didn’t know. Plus, from what I gather, she’s the one who kissed you first, and you didn’t act upon it. This was all a huge misunderstanding. I love you, Eddie. I love our family. Nothing can take that from me, from you, from us, aneurysm or not. You need to forgive yourself, Eddie.” Buck says intently, sincerity and adoration clear in his bright eyes.  

Eddie never thought he can fall deeper in love with Buck, but he does. He whole being just fall in love even more with the man standing in his embrace. Buck is everything good that Eddie never thought he would find again after his first marriage crumbled. Buck just has that kind of power over Eddie, but Buck seems to be oblivious of it. Eddie has never been good with his words, so instead, he pulls Buck closer and press into his husband red lips in a filthy bruising kiss.

“You are my home.” Eddie whispers against Buck’s swollen lips, pressing their bodies even closer with no space left in between them.

“And you are mine.”

[cirrius-akiyo]

"Eddie always love Buck's eyelashes; blonde, long and the way they fan softly on his cheek. Always in order.

But now he hates the fact that those eyelashes are unmoving. Static. Still on the pale waxen skin."

[cirrius-akiyo]

Chapters: 1/2 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz/Ana Flores (briefly) Characters: Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley, Ana Flores (9-1-1 TV), Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Post episode 4x13, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Feelings Realization, Injury Recovery, Pre-Relationship Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Hurt Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Soft Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Worried Evan "Buck" Buckley, Soft Evan "Buck" Buckley, Idiots in Love, Explicit Sexual Content, Communication Series: Part 11 of Cirrius-Akiyo's Bunkdump Summary:

A hospital was not an ideal place and that day was definitely not a proper time for some earth shattering feelings realization. So Buck had squished down the feeling to be dealt with later, and pressed a smile all too fake on his lips that he'd be sure Eddie would notice.

So as it seems, perhaps what is needed is the two of them, side by side for the healing to start.

Or

Three weeks after the shooting, Buck and Eddie lie down next to each other, talking. And then some.

[cirrius-akiyo]

Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Eddie Diaz/Ana Flores (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Ana Flores (9-1-1 TV), Bobby Nash, Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Carla Price Additional Tags: Gun Violence, Major Character Injury, Blood and Injury, Guns, Pre-Relationship, Speculation, Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization, Injury, Head Injury, Speculation of 911 4x13, Angst, Hurt Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Angst with a Happy Ending, Minor Eddie Diaz/Ana Flores (9-1-1 TV), Injured Eddie Diaz, Injured Evan "Buck" Buckley, Worried Eddie Diaz, Worried Evan "Buck" Buckley, Whump, Eddie Diaz Whump (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley Whump, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Speculation of Suspicion only, Nothing from the actual episode, Only based on promos Series: Part 10 of Cirrius-Akiyo's Bunkdump Summary:

Eddie thought he would be more familiar with getting shot at by now after his last tour, but he never could be prepared for the elements of surprise and shock that are soul crippling, that weaken him in the knees immediately at the moment of impact and sending him sprawling on the street in an instant.

Or

A speculation fic based on the 911 4x13 promos.

///

So this fic is written before the actual episode, therefore it doesn't have the dramatic and chaotic effects that we were deliciously served today. But I had enjoyed writing this, and hope you'll enjoy the story too. 

[cirrius-akiyo]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Gun Violence, Major Character Injury, Blood and Injury, Guns, Pre-Relationship, Speculation, Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization, Injury, Head Injury, Speculation of 911 4x13, Angst, Hurt Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley Series: Part 10 of Cirrius-Akiyo's Bunkdump Summary:

Eddie thought he would be more familiar with getting shot at by now after his last tour, but he never could be prepared for the elements of surprise and shock that are soul crippling, that weaken him in the knees immediately at the moment of impact and sending him sprawling on the street in an instant.

Or

A speculation fic based on the 911 4x13 promos.