#Class 10th Life Process notes

[sarthaks24]

Your Guide to Finding the Best Free Class 10th Science Notes Online

If flipping through textbooks feels like a never-ending loop, we've got just the thing to make your life a whole lot easier—free Science notes from Sarthaks eConnect! No more endless cramming or scrambling for last-minute help.

👀 Human Eye and the Colourful World Class 10 Notes

The human eye is one of the most fascinating yet complex organs of our body. This chapter explores not only the structure of the eye but also how we perceive the world around us in vibrant colors. Our notes will cover:

Structure of the Eye: Understand the functions of different parts like the retina, cornea, iris, and lens. No more getting confused between rods and cones!

Power of Accommodation: Learn how your eye adjusts to focus on objects at different distances—no magic, just biology!

Defects of Vision: Got trouble understanding myopia and hypermetropia? We’ve got simple explanations, along with tips on how to remember the differences and the corrective lenses for each.

Dispersion of Light: Ever wonder why the sky is blue or why rainbows form? Our notes explain phenomena like the scattering of light and atmospheric refraction in a fun, easy-to-digest manner.

With these Human Eye and the Colourful World Class 10 notes, you’ll have a clear vision (pun intended!) of what to expect in your exams.

💡 Reflection and Refraction of Light Class 10 Notes

This chapter often trips students up because light behaves in ways that are sometimes hard to visualize. But don’t worry, our Reflection and Refraction of Light Class 10 notes break it down:

Laws of Reflection: A solid understanding of how light bounces off surfaces will get you through a ton of exam questions. We also cover the difference between regular and diffuse reflection.

Refraction of Light: Why does a straw look bent in a glass of water? Our notes explain the bending of light when it passes through different mediums like air and water, with clear diagrams to help you visualize it.

Spherical Mirrors and Lenses: Convex or concave? No more guessing! Learn the properties and uses of different types of mirrors and lenses, and master the mirror formula with step-by-step derivations.

Optical Instruments: We break down the working of devices like the periscope, microscope, and telescope, so you’ll understand both the practical and theoretical aspects.

Our Reflection and Refraction of Light Class 10 notes ensure you see the light—literally and figuratively!

🌱 How do Organisms Reproduce Class 10 Notes

Reproduction is essential for the continuation of life, but it’s often one of the most confusing chapters. Luckily, our How do Organisms Reproduce Class 10 notes make it all clear:

Asexual Reproduction: Understand how organisms like bacteria and fungi reproduce without a partner, through methods like binary fission, budding, and fragmentation.

Sexual Reproduction in Plants and Animals: Learn about the complex processes involved in sexual reproduction, including pollination, fertilization, and the role of gametes. Whether it’s about the flowering plants or the reproductive system in humans, we've simplified it for you.

Reproductive Health: Topics like contraception, sexually transmitted diseases, and reproductive health awareness are also covered in a concise, exam-friendly manner.

These How do Organisms Reproduce Class 10 notes are your go-to for mastering both plant and animal reproduction.

🐣 Class 10th Life Process Notes

Life processes are the essential functions that keep organisms alive, and this chapter covers all the vital systems. Our Class 10th Life Process notes help you grasp the complexities of:

Nutrition: Understand the types of nutrition (autotrophic and heterotrophic) and how different organisms acquire food. We’ve broken down photosynthesis and the digestive system so that you can explain it clearly in your exams.

Respiration: From aerobic to anaerobic respiration, we cover it all. Learn how glucose is broken down to release energy, and how your body handles oxygen and carbon dioxide exchange through cellular respiration.

Transportation: We explain how nutrients and oxygen are transported in humans (via the circulatory system) and in plants (through xylem and phloem). The heart's pumping action and the role of blood vessels are simplified so you’ll never confuse arteries with veins again.

Excretion: How does the body get rid of waste? Our notes cover the kidneys and the nephron’s role in filtering blood, along with an easy explanation of how plants manage waste through transpiration.

With our Class 10th Life Process notes, you’ll never be confused about how your body functions!

Why These Notes Are a Game-Changer for Class 10 Students

Crisp and Clear: No unnecessary jargon, just straight-to-the-point explanations to make your studying efficient.

Exam-Oriented: Every explanation is geared towards the kind of questions you’ll face in your board exams. We focus on the key topics and frequently asked questions.

Visual Learning: Detailed diagrams and illustrations that make complex concepts easier to understand.

Free Access: Why pay for expensive tuitions or guides when you can access all these notes for free?

With Sarthaks eConnect’s free Class 10 Science notes, from Human Eye and the Colourful World Class 10 notes to Class 10th Life Process notes, you’ll find yourself sailing through your board exams.

📚 Sign up today and get access to these super useful notes that’ll help you study smarter, not harder!

[vidreview]

VIDEO ESSAY ROUNDUP #6 [PART 2]

[originally posted august 1st 2024 NOTE: while migrating the archive from cohost i've discovered that tumblr has a 10 link-block limit, which means i have to split some of these roundups up in order to maintain the embeds. we love websites don't we folks]

"New Zelda isn't Zelda" by Eroymak.

it's novel to see one of these shot in the mountains! vibes like a younger, ganglier nakeyjakey. i like to imagine that there's an escalating war of spectacle happening between white outdoorsy middle-class nerds all trying to one-up each other by casually filming an otherwise anodyne video essay in increasingly precarious locales. how long until a 22 year old DJ from Wisconsin dies on the slopes of Everest trying to film an essay about Mario 1-1? who's going to be the first human being to levy a citation-heavy critique of Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead while skydiving? how long until Shiey accidentally loses Jacob Geller down an abandoned mine shaft? anyway, Eroymak is extremely correct here about what makes modern Zelda games a drag, namely that their "go anywhere do anything" attitude ruins the sense of progression that once defined the franchise. i worry about this with the upcoming Echoes of Wisdom, which seems to be applying the Of The games' open toolset philosophy to the 2D Zelda template, but i digress. for being only 7 minutes and 20 seconds, this is a pretty succinct and broadly comprehensive summation of why the open world Zeldas lack a certain magic that was once so easily flaunted by their forebears.

"so that's why they cut all her scenes from the movie" by CinemaStix.

i've seen CinemaStix videos in my recommended feed multiple times and avoided them like the plague. i mean, come on. "CinemaStix"? at a glance this conjures a monstrous Third-Way chimera betwixt CinemaSins and CinemaWins, and i would sooner stave my own head in with a rock than give such a thing the time of day. EXCEPT… Constantine 2005 is one of my favorite comic book movies. i saw it in theaters and it changed me. in the years since, i've defended Constantine's honor from the haters to little avail (thankfully the tides have turned in recent years and people are realizing that they totally missed the second-best John Wick movie), and it's top of my list of fun movies to show guests when we're bored. this special interest overrode my kneejerk book-cover judgment survival mechanism, and i'm so mad that i don't regret it. this video is about the editing of Constantine 2005, and how many of the film's iconic moments were constructed in post. as the title suggests, a substantial amount of time is spent trying to understand why an entire character was ultimately cut, a question that's also plagued me ever since watching the deleted scenes on the DVD in 10th grade. whether you've seen Constantine 2005 or not, this is an excellent portrait of editing as a substantive authorial process. i've since gone and watched multiple CinemaStix videos, and god damn it, these are some quality essays. sometimes popular things are good, she said grumpily.

"Conservative Comedy Ruined My Life" by Big Joel.

oops, can you tell this vidrev roundup has been sitting in my drafts for a long time? this video came out on April 2nd of 2024 and has nearly 2.5 million views, so i won't belabor the point. this is a great deconstruction of conservative comedy that looks hard into why so much of it sucks beyond the empty platitudes endemic to smarmy liberals. it's some of Big Joel's best work in my opinion.

"On Online Entitlement" by CJ The X.

an excellent autopsy of the rhetorical implications of an overly familiar instagram comment-- a description that i know probably sounds obnoxious, but genuinely is not the case. Mx. The X goes to great lengths to assure us that this is not about the person who left the comment, but the various attitudes and assumptions that are implied in its construction. gen z essayists in particular seem to specialize in this sort of editorial post-game breakdown of the things people say when they think they're saying something else, and i think they're always worth paying attention to. consider this something of a downstream epilogue to Shannon Strucci's seminal Fake Friends series. even as i don't always agree with the totality of their conclusions, i do always come away from CJ The X videos feeling like i've learned something about how i and other internet-dwelling social animals think.

"How Uber Is Destroying Food Delivery" by More Perfect Union.

More Perfect Union is not typically in the business of video essays, focusing more on feature stories that heavily rely on interviews and on-the-ground reporting. this one's a unique development in that it is just straight up a video essay, using the business model of Uber as an avenue for understanding Corey Doctorow's theory of platform decay (except he calls it Enshittification because god forbid 21st century materialist philosophy grow out of its twee blogosphere adolescence). if you know the theory then there's probably not gonna be much here that surprises you, but i felt it a notable inclusion nevertheless.

do you have recommendations for video essays i might not have seen, new or old? well my askbox is open and i'm always looking for ways to penetrate my experiential-algorithmic youtube bubble. hope you found something enjoyable in this collection, see you in the next one!

<- ROUNDUP #5

[hectorfrombritain]

It's hard being a "Gifted" kid growing up to be "average"

*TW*: rant, possibly swears

I don't wanna come off as arrogant or anything but I've been a smart or atleast academically good kid growing up, all throughout my life till 10th I never used to actually sit down and study for shit, just used to act for some hours as a kid to avoid angering my parents and lose my access to my hobbies and such.

Idk, but it just used to "work out", all I used to do was pay attention in classes, read the textbooks because I found them interesting, or just learn about concepts that eventually end up helping my knowledge of the ones I need in school, and probably just binge lectures or such on YouTube one day before my exams, and ended up scoring well enough.

But then came class 11th, when the difficulty spiked so hard that it's no longer enough to simply "get through it" without any kind of self study, the 10+2 standards required hardwork, which I surely lacked.

I then just realised that I don't even know how to fucking study, like even when i search online it's just the shit like "make a routine","don't procastinate","make notes","pay attention in lectures", and especially "solve questions".

like bitch could you actually just simply tell me a proper process or system on how could i fucking study, wtf you mean by "solve questions", do i just write them down and then try to solve, and if couldn't then check the solution and copy that, bitch how's that supposed to help, and even if it did, you understand how time taking that is??

And don't fucking get me started on the amount of expectations people begin to have on you just because you scored good enough on some classes that don't fucking matter at all(*looking at you 10th boards), like we're already under sheer pressure and there's this burden of expectations now??

And the fact that they "don't think you'll need help" because you're "smart" and will "figure it out anyway", like mf why tf are you there then?

Even the stupid education system that we have in India, there's neither education nor a system in this shit, it's just a game of memorization, no practical applications at all, but they still have the audacity to say they're "preparing you for the real world".

The real world won't demand shit like the bullshit projects or assignments you give our, and neither would you be expected to just "know" every info. Like for example the formulas and stuff to calculate something.

[komalargroup]

Batumi Shota Rustaveli State University: Study MBBS in Georgia at a Top Medical College

Explore Batumi Shota Rustaveli State University in Georgia – a top choice for Indian students to study MBBS. Learn about fees, admission process, facilities, and why it’s perfect for your medical career.

Batumi Shota Rustaveli State University is one of the leading government medical universities in Georgia. Located in the beautiful coastal city of Batumi, this university has become a popular destination for international students, especially from India, who want to study MBBS in Georgia at an affordable cost with world-class education.

Why Choose Batumi Shota Rustaveli State University for MBBS?

Established in 1923, the university has a long history of academic excellence. It is named after the famous Georgian poet Shota Rustaveli. The university is recognized by global medical bodies like the World Health Organization (WHO), National Medical Commission (NMC), and Education Commission for Foreign Medical Graduates (ECFMG).

The MBBS program at Batumi Shota Rustaveli State University follows international standards, ensuring that students are prepared to clear licensing exams like FMGE, USMLE, and PLAB. The medium of instruction is English, which is an added advantage for Indian students.

Top Highlights of the University

NMC and WHO approved

English-medium MBBS program

Experienced faculty and modern labs

Low tuition fees and affordable cost of living

Safe and student-friendly environment

Separate hostel for Indian students with Indian food options

MBBS Fees Structure

One of the key reasons Indian students prefer Batumi Shota Rustaveli State University is its low fee structure. The total tuition fee for the 6-year MBBS course is approximately $25,000 – $30,000. Compared to private medical colleges in India, this is a very cost-effective option without compromising on the quality of education.

Here’s a breakdown of the estimated costs:

Particulars

Annual Cost (USD)

Tuition Fee

$4,000 – $5,000

Hostel Fee

$800 – $1,000

Other Expenses (Food, Insurance, etc.)

$1,000 – $1,200

Note: Fees may vary slightly depending on the exchange rate and university guidelines.

Admission Process for Indian Students

Getting admission at Batumi Shota Rustaveli State University is simple and transparent. There is no entrance exam like NEET for admission, although qualifying NEET is mandatory for Indian students who wish to practice in India after graduation.

Eligibility Criteria:

Minimum 50% marks in Physics, Chemistry, and Biology (for general category)

NEET qualified (mandatory for Indian students)

Minimum age: 17 years

Documents Required:

10th and 12th mark sheets

NEET scorecard

Passport

Passport-size photos

Medical fitness certificate

Once the documents are submitted, the university issues an offer letter. After payment of the initial fees, students receive the admission letter and invitation for the visa process.

Campus Life and Facilities

Batumi is a coastal city located along the Black Sea and is known for its scenic beauty and modern infrastructure. The university campus offers a peaceful and student-friendly environment with all essential facilities such as:

Wi-Fi enabled smart classrooms

Advanced laboratories and libraries

Sports and recreational centers

Modern hostels with 24/7 security

Indian mess and kitchen facilities

Students also get the opportunity to take part in international medical conferences and exchange programs.

Why MBBS in Georgia is a Great Choice

Georgia has become a hotspot for medical education due to its globally recognized degrees, safe environment, and affordable cost of living. The country is politically stable and offers a high standard of education. The visa process is also relatively smooth, and Indian students feel welcomed due to the cultural similarities and large Indian student community.

Career Opportunities After MBBS

After completing MBBS from Batumi Shota Rustaveli State University, students can appear for licensing exams like FMGE (India), USMLE (USA), or PLAB (UK). The university provides thorough academic support to help students clear these exams. Graduates can also apply for postgraduate studies or start practicing in countries that recognize the degree.

Conclusion

Batumi Shota Rustaveli State University is one of the best options for Indian students who dream of becoming doctors without facing the heavy competition or high fees of Indian private medical colleges. With its globally recognized MBBS program, experienced faculty, and supportive environment, it is truly a gateway to a successful medical career.

[educationensure]

MBBS in Russia 2025 – Why Tver State Medical University Is a Top Choice

When it comes to pursuing MBBS abroad, Russia stands out as one of the most preferred destinations among Indian students. In particular, Tver State Medical University has emerged as a beacon of medical excellence, affordability, and international recognition. In this detailed guide, we will explore why Tver State Medical University 2025 is considered a top choice for MBBS in Russia.

About Tver State Medical University

Founded in 1936, Tver State Medical University (also known as Tver Medical University Russia) is one of the oldest and most prestigious medical universities in Russia. Located in the historic city of Tver, it offers world-class education with advanced medical infrastructure, international faculty, and a student-friendly atmosphere.

Tver Russia 2025: What Makes It Special?

Strategic location between Moscow and St. Petersburg

Safe and student-friendly city

Diverse culture and easy lifestyle for international students

Affordable living and tuition costs

Why Indian Students Prefer Tver State Medical University

Recognized by MCI (NMC), WHO & ECFMG

Tver State Medical University is listed in the World Directory of Medical Schools, making it globally accepted.

Affordable Tuition Fees

Compared to private medical colleges in India, the Tver State Medical University fee structure is budget-friendly.

English-Medium Courses

MBBS courses are available in English, eliminating language barriers.

Indian Mess and Hostel Facilities

Dedicated Tver State Medical University hostel for Indian students with Indian food and other essentials.

High FMGE Passing Rate

Graduates perform well in the Foreign Medical Graduate Examination (FMGE), proving the quality of education.

Tver State Medical University Fee Structure (2025)

ParticularsAnnual Fees (Approx.)Tuition FeeUSD 5,000Hostel FeeUSD 500Medical Insurance & Misc.USD 200Total Per YearUSD 5,700

Note: Fees are approximate and may vary. Please check the Tver State Medical University official website for updated figures.

Admission Process for MBBS at Tver Medical University

Eligibility Criteria:

17+ years of age

50% marks in PCB (40% for reserved categories)

NEET qualified

Documents Required:

10th & 12th mark sheets

Passport

NEET scorecard

Passport-size photos

Medical & HIV test reports

Application Steps:

Fill the application form online

Receive invitation letter

Apply for student visa

Book your flight and start your MBBS journey!

Tver State Medical University Ranking

Global Ranking: Among top medical universities in Russia

National Ranking: Top 30 in Russia for medical education

FMGE Passing Rate: Consistently high

Student Life and Campus Facilities

Modern classrooms and advanced laboratories

Simulation centers and digital libraries

Sports facilities and cultural events

24/7 healthcare and student support

Tver State Medical University Hostel

Comfortable rooms with Wi-Fi and heating

Separate hostels for boys and girls

Indian food available in mess

Strict security and wardens for safety

Career Opportunities after MBBS from Tver University Russia

Practice in India after FMGE/NEXT exam

Postgraduate studies in countries like the USA, UK, Canada

Clinical practice and research opportunities globally

Tver State Medical University Official Website

Visit the official website for authentic details on syllabus, fees, hostel, and admission.

Comparison with Other Top Universities in Russia

University NameTuition (USD/year)LanguageHostelFMGE Pass %Tver State Medical University5,000EnglishYesHighKazan State Medical University5,800EnglishYesMediumOrel State Medical University4,800EnglishYesMedium

Based on affordability, academic quality, and FMGE results, Tver State Medical University stands as one of the top 10 medical colleges in Russia for Indian students.

Conclusion

If you are an Indian student looking for the best MBBS university in Russia, Tver State Medical University 2025 should be at the top of your list. With affordable fees, top-tier education, Indian support systems, and global recognition, it is truly the best medical university in Russia for a successful medical career.

[halfwaypoets]

18 January 2025

So tired. Not much to say but so much to say. (Too much to say). Haven't had a real "diary" entry since the 10th. Been journaling in my physical notebook(s) but not as much as I'd like. My emotions have been up and down - life is as consistently odd as it always is, I guess.

Trying and failing to organize my thoughts. I always do the best I can. It was a lovely grey day today, and it was so beautiful. I love when the whole world is like TV static. It all just feels so flat. I can pretend that nothing is real. My whole world has felt emptier than usual but I am happy about it.

Woke up in F's bed. We spent another night together - at this point, it's been a full week sharing a bed with her, probably even longer. I've gotten too used to having another body beside my own. It's relaxing. I find I have a hard time getting to sleep without her there. I'm worried that means something deeper than I know. It probably doesn't. I am frequently worried, and lonely. If anything, it's just another symptom. Oh well.

My courseload is manageable and my classes feel fake (in a good way). So, I'm happy about all of that. Chatted with C today at 3 after catching up on chores (clean laundry, yay!) and seeing F again after she woke up around noon. Ended the day with movie night with F and M.

Still processing everything I learned in the costume shop yesterday. So much, I don't even know what to do with it all. Wish I could say more about that. But this is public (not that I think anyone will ever bother to read it), and I am tired.

I'm sitting in her bed, again, and I can hear her watching the TV in the other room with HB. They laugh when the track laughs. It's funny.

So much to do - documentary to watch for Dress & Decor, and homework to catch up on, and notes to upload. I'm actually really happy with my idea to start this digital diary. Even though I haven't been as on top of it as I would like, it's already serving me well.

Only three more minutes until it's technically the 19th - I better wrap this up. (I do care about accuracy, even if it doesn't always show in my other records). Excited and nervous to live another day. Just happy to be breathing.

[hitechno1mobile]

Top Affordable Laptops That Don't Break the Bank

In today's digital world, a laptop has become an essential tool for students, professionals, and casual users alike. However, the hefty price tags associated with high-end machines can often be a deterrent for those on a budget. The good news is, you don't need to spend a fortune to get a reliable and functional laptop.

This blog explores some of the top affordable laptops currently available, catering to various needs and budgets. Whether you're a student juggling assignments, a young professional starting your career, or someone who simply needs a device for everyday tasks, this guide will help you find the perfect budget-friendly companion.

Considering a Career in Laptop Repair?

The world of technology is constantly evolving, and the demand for skilled laptop repair technicians is on the rise. If you're interested in a career in this exciting field, consider enrolling in a reputable laptop repairing course in New Delhi. Institutes like Hitech No. 1, with over 20 years of experience and a legacy of training over 3 lakh students in laptop and mobile repair, can equip you with the knowledge and practical skills necessary to succeed in the laptop repair industry. Important to note: Hitech No. 1 focuses on education and does not provide laptop repair services.

Now, let's dive into the world of affordable laptops!

1. The All-Rounder: Acer Aspire 5 (Starting Price: Approximately ₹30,000)

The Acer Aspire 5 is a versatile laptop that strikes a perfect balance between affordability and performance. It's powered by a capable 10th or 11th Gen Intel Core i3 or i5 processor, offering sufficient processing power for everyday tasks like browsing the web, checking emails, and working on documents. Additionally, you can choose between various RAM configurations (4GB to 8GB), allowing you to customize the laptop to suit your multitasking needs. Storage options range from 128GB to 512GB SSD, providing flexibility for storing files and applications.

The Aspire 5 boasts a sleek and lightweight design, making it highly portable. The Full HD display offers good visuals for everyday use, while the backlit keyboard ensures comfortable typing even in low-light environments. Battery life is decent, lasting around 6-7 hours on a single charge, allowing you to work or browse on the go. This laptop is a great choice for students, young professionals, or anyone looking for a reliable and affordable daily driver.

2. The Chrome Champ: ASUS Chromebook CX1 (Starting Price: Approximately ₹20,000)

If you're looking for a super affordable and efficient laptop for basic tasks, the ASUS Chromebook CX1 is a compelling option. It runs on Chrome OS, a lightweight operating system designed for speed and security. While Chrome OS doesn't offer the full functionality of Windows or macOS, it excels at basic tasks like browsing the web, checking emails, and using web-based applications. It's perfect for students who primarily need a device for research, writing assignments, and online classes. The CX1 is powered by an energy-efficient Intel Celeron processor and comes with 4GB of RAM, offering smooth performance for basic tasks.

One of the biggest advantages of a Chromebook is its exceptional battery life. The CX1 can easily last an entire workday or school day on a single charge, eliminating the need for frequent power outlets. Additionally, Chrome OS receives regular updates, ensuring a secure and up-to-date system. However, if you require software that isn't compatible with Chrome OS, or need a laptop for more demanding tasks like photo editing or video editing, a Chromebook might not be the best choice.

3. The Convertible Charm: Lenovo IdeaPad Flex 3 (Starting Price: Approximately ₹35,000)

The Lenovo IdeaPad Flex 3 offers a unique combination of affordability and versatility thanks to its 2-in-1 convertible design. This laptop features a 360-degree hinge that allows you to use it in various modes: laptop mode for traditional use, tablet mode for browsing and entertainment, tent mode for presentations, and stand mode for watching videos. The Flex 3 is powered by a 10th Gen Intel Core i3 or i5 processor, with RAM options ranging from 4GB to 8GB. Storage options come in the form of 128GB to 256GB SSDs, offering flexibility based on your needs.

The touchscreen display provides a seamless experience in tablet mode, making it ideal for taking notes, drawing, or casual gaming. The battery life is decent, lasting around 7-8 hours on a single charge. The Flex 3 is a great choice for students, professionals who need a device for presentations, or anyone who enjoys the flexibility of a 2-in-1 laptop. However, keep in mind that the convertible design and touchscreen functionality might add a slight premium to the price compared to a traditional clamshell laptop with similar specifications.

4. The Gaming Gateway: HP Pavilion Gaming (Starting Price: Approximately ₹45,000)

For budget-conscious gamers, the HP Pavilion Gaming offers a compelling entry point into the world of PC gaming. While it won't run the latest AAA titles at the highest settings, it can handle many popular games at moderate graphics settings. The Pavilion Gaming is powered by a capable AMD Ryzen 5 or Intel Core i5 processor, coupled with NVIDIA GTX 1650 or AMD Radeon RX 560X graphics for decent gaming performance. RAM options range from 8GB to 16GB, allowing you to optimize multitasking and game performance. Storage options include HDD and SSD configurations, with the SSD option offering faster loading times.

The Pavilion Gaming boasts a vibrant display with a refresh rate of 60Hz, ensuring smooth visuals during gameplay. The keyboard features backlighting, making it ideal for late-night gaming sessions. While the battery life might not be ideal for extended gaming sessions on the go, it's sufficient for casual use. Keep in mind that the gaming capabilities come at the expense of portability. The Pavilion Gaming is slightly heavier and bulkier compared to some of the other laptops on this list. Overall, this laptop is a solid option for casual gamers who prioritize affordability without sacrificing performance entirely.

5. The Apple Alternative: Acer Swift 3 (Starting Price: Approximately ₹40,000)

For those seeking a sleek and stylish design reminiscent of Apple MacBooks, the Acer Swift 3 is a compelling option. This ultra-thin and lightweight laptop is powered by a 10th or 11th Gen Intel Core i5 processor, offering sufficient performance for everyday tasks and multitasking. RAM options range from 8GB to 16GB, allowing you to customize the laptop to your needs. Storage options include 256GB to 512GB SSDs, providing ample space for your files and applications.

The Swift 3 flaunts a stunning Full HD IPS display with vibrant colors and wide viewing angles, making it ideal for watching movies, browsing photos, or working on creative projects. The backlit keyboard provides a comfortable typing experience, and the aluminum chassis exudes a premium feel. Battery life is decent, lasting around 8-9 hours on a single charge. While the Swift 3 doesn't boast the powerful specifications of some gaming laptops, it's an excellent choice for students, professionals, or anyone who prioritizes portability, style, and everyday performance.

6. The Productivity Powerhouse: Dell Inspiron 3000 (Starting Price: Approximately ₹32,000)

The Dell Inspiron 3000 series offers a wide range of configurations at various price points, making it a versatile option for budget-conscious users. You can choose between AMD Ryzen or Intel Core processors, with various RAM and storage options to suit your needs. This allows you to find a configuration that strikes the perfect balance between affordability and performance for your specific tasks.

The Inspiron 3000 typically features a sturdy plastic build and a comfortable keyboard. The display quality varies depending on the specific configuration, but most models offer decent visuals for everyday use. Battery life falls within the average range, lasting around 6-7 hours on a single charge. The Inspiron 3000 is a great choice for students, professionals who need a reliable workhorse for basic tasks, or anyone looking for a no-frills laptop that delivers good value for money.

7. The Upgradeable Choice: MSI Modern 14 (Starting Price: Approximately ₹38,000)

The MSI Modern 14 caters to users who prioritize future-proofing their laptops. While the base model might offer a modest 10th Gen Intel Core i3 processor and 8GB of RAM, the beauty lies in its upgradability. This laptop allows you to upgrade the RAM and storage capacity down the line, potentially extending its lifespan and adapting to your evolving needs. Storage options typically come in the form of 256GB SSDs, but you can consider swapping it for a larger capacity SSD for additional storage space in the future.

The Modern 14 boasts a sleek and lightweight design with a comfortable keyboard. The display offers decent visuals for everyday use, and the battery life falls within the average range, lasting around 6-7 hours on a single charge. This laptop is a great choice for students who anticipate needing more processing power in their later years of study, or budget-conscious professionals who want a reliable laptop with the potential for future upgrades.

Conclusion

The world of affordable laptops offers a plethora of choices for various needs and budgets. By considering your primary tasks, desired features, and portability needs, you can find the perfect balance between affordability and performance. Remember, the most expensive laptop isn't always the best.

Taking Care of Your Affordable Laptop

Even affordable laptops deserve proper care. While some minor repairs might be manageable, for significant issues, consider seeking professional help from a qualified laptop repair technician. laptop repairing Institute in Delhi like Hitech No. 1 can provide the knowledge and skills you need to diagnose and potentially fix common laptop problems. It's important to remember that Hitech No. 1 focuses on education and doesn't offer laptop repair services directly. However, the skills you learn in a reputable laptop repairing course in New Delhi can empower you to understand your laptop's health and make informed decisions about repairs or replacements, potentially saving you money in the long run.

By choosing the right affordable laptop and taking proper care of it, you can ensure a productive and enjoyable computing experience without breaking the bank.

[kashmironlinenews]

Download Life Processes Class 10 Handwritten Notes

Download Life Processes Class 10 Handwritten Notes

Life Processes Class 10 Handwritten Notes | PDF Download Are you in Class 10th following the syllabus of JKBOSE and want to download Life Processes Class 10 Handwritten Notes and Solutions , then here is your solution. Class 10th Life Process is the lengthiest chapter of Class 10th Biology. Many questions from Life processes can be asked in the final examination 2022-2023. Here in this article…

[finerllines]

lonely heart

(gif from @t-lostinworlds​)

a/n: hi amigos this is my first time writing for tom so i am kinda nervous but i hope you guys enjoy!! if anyone has any feedback/thoughts pls lmk :D

summary: tom thinks before he speaks and unintentionally hurts jamie's feelings and his attempt to remedy the situation does a bit more than rekindle their friendship (crappy summary sorry, basically its a footballer!tom friends to lovers)

wc: 7.3k+

tw: just fluff with a couple of effs and jeffs 

///

It was highly unusual for Jamie to be one of the sharpest in a class. As a proudly mediocre student she tends to be the 10th person to raise their hand to answer a question. But for the first time today she was the first to answer a couple questions despite requiring her usual minute of processing. The boost in self-confidence was short lived once she realised that most of the lecture hall were in several states of hung over. Ah right, the men’s football team had finally broken the three year curse and made it to semis sp of course they threw an obscene party to celebrate.

She had heard about these legendary parties. There would be booze, weed and anything else they could legally get away with. Being one of their rare ‘no invite needed’ parties, pretty much the entire student population would show up. Jamie was one of the few that opted out. She had yet to find her group of ethnically diverse friends as advertised on school brochures, so she always felt too awkward to show up alone. But turns out her rather square habits had served her well this time – at least that’s what she told herself.

Amongst the murmurs of everyone packing their things, a familiar voice called her name. “Jamie hey!” She turns to see Tom waving her down from a couple rows back.

Tom and Jamie went way back. Being next door neighbours since kindergarten meant that they shared every memory up until about 15, when they started to drift apart. There was no big dramatic fallout or any bad blood. They just gradually stopped talking when Tom started getting busy with football and Jamie, well Jamie was never really busy with anything. She was more than happy to be cheering from the side lines. But she never got an invite and was too nervous to ask. Tom was just so personable and charismatic that the whole room can’t help but be cling on to his every word. The complete opposite of Jamie really. So naturally, she was too intimidated by Tom’s newfound popularity to try to insert herself into his new life.

By pure coincidence (or fate) they wound up in the same university where Tom continued to play football and Jamie continued to do … the bare minimum really. She wouldn’t go so far as to say they were back to where they were as kids, but she would call them friends at least.

Tom slowly made his way down the stairs, giving nods of acknowledgement to other hungover people. When he finally reaches her, its almost disappointing.

“Could you do me a huge favour and send me your notes? I think I’m kinda still pissed from last night so all I heard was loud ringing.”  

“Bold of you to assume I’m not in a similar state of drunk or hung over.”

Tom runs his hands through his hair and lets out a quiet laugh. “I mean you don’t ever go to any parties so it’s not too hard to guess that you didn’t ditch your loner tendencies last night.”

Okay, that hurt.

“I’m sorry, loner?”

“Yeah.” His nonchalance makes the affirmation more cutting. “What? What did I say wrong?”  

Her frown only deepens as she makes her way past Tom to leave the lecture hall. “Sorry that I’m a little offended that you just called me a loner.” Too embarrassed to show her hurt, she walked past Tom and tried to unfurrow her brows.

Jamie wasn’t oblivious. She knew that she could count the number of friends she had on one hand and probably none of them knew her birthday. Sure, maybe she was a little lonely. But to be called a loner, by Tom? That definitely stung.

“Hey are you mad? Don’t be mad I didn’t mean it in like a mean way. I mean it in like a normal way!”

That definitely did not make it better.

Tired of this back and forth, Jamie turned around and gave her best deadpan. “I’ll send you the notes as soon as I can. Promise.”

She tells herself to not get bothered by the comment and just keep a straight face, at least until she got back to her room. But for some reason she couldn’t shake it off. She didn’t know if it was the way he said it, as if it was a known fact, or because it was Tom who said it. Either way, Jamie knew that it was going to bug for at least the rest of the day.

-

You know how after you learn a new word you suddenly hear that word being used all the time? And you can’t help but think ‘is capricious really a word that everyone uses daily and I just somehow never noticed?’ That’s how Jamie was feeling after being called a loner. She was suddenly so acutely self-aware of her loner-ness.

Isn’t university supposed to nurture independence? Why was everyone except Jamie with a buddy 24/7? Apparently, she was the only one capable of going to class, or the canteen, or the laundry room alone. It suddenly became very clear that the line between independence and loneliness was incredibly fine, and she wasn’t too confident which side she was on.

Has she always been like this? No wonder Tom never invited her anywhere. He would have to babysit her the entire time because she wouldn’t even try to speak to new people.

It never really bothered her because frankly there was no one she particularly wanted to be friends with. No one except Kai.

Kai was the starting striker on the football team and was also in almost all of her classes because they were doing the same degree. Jamie found herself reinforcing an unfortunate cliché by crushing on the cute jock with floppy hair. She tells herself that it wasn’t his boyish smile or cute little celebration shimmy he does whenever he scores a goal that got her, but his insightful and nuanced comments in class. Sure.

Despite their clear shared interest and the countless opportunities for Jamie to befriend him she always chickened out and convinced herself that it was a bad idea. But this newfound self-awareness had her thinking: if she could strike a conversation with Kai then she wouldn’t be a loner. Loners didn’t talk to new people, let alone their crushes.

It was a fool proof plan. If she could actually do it that is.

-

Tom was looking for an empty seat in the library when he saw Jamie at a table with a spare seat. With a silent nod of acknowledgement, he sat his things down and got situated.

Results for his exposition module just got released and he couldn’t afford to fail another writing class. If the team continued their winning streak his final submission for the class would clash with a match, so he needed to maximise all the other components to compensate for the inevitable bullshit he submits for his final.

“Fuck!”

The light slap to the table caused Jamie to look up from her work. “You good?”

“Yeah, I just got a shitty grade for that expo assignment.”

As if paralysed, Tom could not stop looking at his screen.

Good ideas, but disorganised and sloppy. Need for more effective proof reading.

Of course.

After what felt like hours, he was broken out of his reverie. “Do you need help with the class? I’m pretty good at editing essays so I could help with your final if you want?” Jamie chewed on her bottom lip, immediately regretting her offer.

“Really? You would do that?” Tom asked with a brightness in his voice and eyes.

Getting uncomfortable with all the eye contact, Jamie’s eyes started darting around the library. She mentally urged herself to commit and replied, “Well yeah. But it would be cool if you could help me with something in return.”

“You want my help with school?” he asked.

“Um, it’s not exactly school related. More of a personal problem,” she offered vaguely. There was something about Tom’s eyes that prompted her to continue. It was that damn charm again. “I need you to help me be more … uh social.”

“Uh, can I get more details please?”

Her mouth opened and closed a couple of times before she mustered enough courage to say, “I just need some help like, you know, putting myself out there and making new friends.”

“Okay … is there a particular thing you want me to help with?” he prompted again.

Fuck it.

“There is this guy that I kind of have a crush on and I could maybe benefit from some coaching. You know since you are so extroverted and well liked I thought you could teach me some stuff. Like how to start conversations with new people, or whatever.” Jamie tried to sound casual. As if asking for help making new friends was completely normal. “I’m a pretty good writer so I thought we could exchange services. I help you get a better grade for your expo final, and you help me potentially make a new friend.”

Her façade must have worked because Tom simply replied with a chipper “Sure!” and stuck his hand across the table for a handshake.

Huh. That was simple enough.

-

When Jamie made her proposition, she did not account for the fact she and Tom would have to start spending more time together. Like actual time together, not just the brief catch-up when they crossed paths. That’s how she found herself in Tom’s room for the first time for their first ‘lesson’.

She sat at his desk taking in his room while waiting for him to return from the kitchen. Amongst the football medals and jerseys, she spots a small photo pinned in the corner of his corkboard.

It was the two of them as kids in colour coordinated swimsuits. They were dripping wet from the pool, arms wrapped around each other, and cheesing hard showing off their missing teeth. Her mouth quirked up as she recounted the memory. That was the day they learnt how to swim in the adult pool together (because they had to do everything together) and they were so excited at all the adventures they could go on now.

“That photo’s pretty cute huh. I found it when I went home last winter.” Tom grins widely at her and places two glasses of water down before sitting on his bed.

“Yeah, I forgot about that day. I forgot about how fun that was.” The wistfulness in her voice was not lost on Tom but she changed the subject before he could reminisce. “So, what’s up first!”

“Well, there really isn’t a formula to making new friends. If I’m honest you might have made a bad deal here J.”

Jamie deflates a little. All her insecurities came rushing back at once.

But before she could say anything Tom jumps in to reassure her, “Don’t worry though! We just gotta find a way to get you to open up.” He sits up and rests his hands on her shoulders and gives her a confident look. “You will speak to that boy.”

And just like that, Tom somehow managed to instil her with confidence in so little words. There was something about the way he looked at her that made her trust him.

“Okay, teach me your ways Tom.”

Tom’s first tip to starting conversation was to find some common ground. So, they spent the day trying to narrow down a couple of Jamie’s key interests that she could bring up.

They started out slow. Talking about herself never felt natural and this occasion was no different. She tried telling herself that it was just Tom, someone she had known forever, but that somehow made it more difficult. This weird purgatory in between acquaintances and friends made it difficult for her to gauge how exactly to approach the situation. She didn’t want to imply that she thought Tom had forgotten all about her for fear of insulting him. But she also didn’t want to be presumptive and assume that Tom still remembered everything.

Thankfully, Tom was a natural conversationalist and did most of the heavy lifting. Whenever he sensed that she was getting shy about something he made sure to pay extra attention and probe further. It didn’t take long for the two old friends to fall into a comfortable conversation, bantering and poking fun at each. By the end, Tom had forgotten that he was supposed to be teaching her something, he was just having a good time.

“See, you’re a natural. We’ve been talking for, woah, we’ve been talking for three hours.” A surprised grin stretched across Tom’s face. He was so invested in their conversation that he didn’t realise that so much time had passed. And if he didn’t have to go to training, he was certain they would have continued to talk for hours and hours.

Seeing how (dare she say) proud of her Tom was made Jamie feel good. Like really good. With heated cheeks and a shy smile, she replied, “Well that’s just because it’s you. We know I can talk to you because we used to be best friends. We probably share 30% of the same brain because we spent most of our lives living the same life essentially.”

“Nah, don’t sell yourself short, you are very fun to talk to. You always have been.”

“Hmm, well my lack of friends suggests otherwise,” she said sarcastically, immediately wishing she hadn’t said anything because she could tell from the way Tom tensed that her playful reply didn’t read as playful to him.

An awkward beat of silence passed before Tom said, “You don’t think you are fun to talk to? You’ve always been a little quiet you’ve never been boring.” Then he gives a little shrug and asked, “and we’re friends, right?” sounding almost offended.

She felt the hair on the back of her neck stand, unsure of what she should say. Eyes darting around his room, she spotted that photo of them again.

“Yeah, we’re friends but that’s different because we were kids, you know. I don’t really have any ‘adult’ friends I guess.”

Tom didn’t know what to say to that. His first instinct was to disagree and insist that they were ‘adult’ friends, but he knew it would be a lie. This was the first conversation they had, that wasn’t just an exchange of life updates in about five years - their first proper conversation. Hell, he didn’t even know they were in the same university until they bumped into each other a month in.

When she asked him to teach her how to be social, he didn’t think much of it. He thought she was just wanted a guy’s perspective on how to talk to her crush. It did not even occur to him that she was actually affected by being referred to as a loner, that this was something she was insecure about. Once he connected the dots, he felt like a dick. It wasn’t mean spirited; it was just the first word he thought of when his friends asked him why they never saw them hang out if they had been friends since young. She’s just a bit of a loner, doesn’t really go out much. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best thing to say especially to people who didn’t know her. She was just shy, not very good at starting conversations with new people. But it didn’t matter back then because they were glued to the hip, she didn’t need to speak to new people when Tom kept her plenty entertained. Guess that all changed when he stopped speaking to her.  

He normally didn’t get bothered when their past friendship was brought up, most of his team even knew her as his friend from back home. But for some reason being reminded of the relationship they used to have this time made him a little sad. Maybe because this was the closest he had felt to her in years and it was only because she was trying to become friends with someone else. Someone who was not Tom.

-

“Sorry I’m late,” Jamie apologised while placing a takeaway cup next to Tom’s laptop, “the line was super long, so I got you an apology tea.”

Tom greeted her with warm smile and took a sip. “London fog?” he whispered, surprise flashing in his eyes.

“Yeah, she replied, suddenly feeling insecure, “do you not drink them anymore?”. She didn’t think twice when placing the order but now she was thinking five times over.

“No! You got it right I just didn’t expect you to still remember.” Tom took another sip to try and obscure the grin growing on his face. A foreign warmth spread across his chest and up his neck, kind of like how he felt when she would nuzzle into his neck when they hugged as kids. He found himself struggling to stay focused on the question she was helping him with, wanting to sneak glances at her profile.

This was the fourth time they had met since their agreement. The previous three meetings had been ‘socialising lessons’, which basically meant that they spent hours just talking, under the guise of getting her to loosen up. Really, Tom just enjoyed their first meeting so much that he found himself looking forward to their next one. They talked about different things each time, somehow never running out of topics, and he could not remember the last time he spoke to intensely with one person about something other than football or school.

Instead of quenching his excitement, each conversation only fed it, making him increasingly eager for the next. He even caught himself subconsciously keeping a mental catalogue of stories and random thoughts that he wanted to tell her, hoping to see her eyes crinkle with delight as she brings her hand to her mouth to try and stifle her giggles.

Even now, when they were in the library to work on an essay, his head was swimming with conversation topics, waiting for the right moment to jump in instead of paying attention to the definitely helpful things she was saying.

A quick snap pulls Tom out of his head and he sheepishly mutters a quiet apology, expecting Jamie to be frustrated that he was wasting her time.

Instead, he gets two quick pats on the forearm and a soft, “it’s ok, I know it’s hard for you to concentrate for too long a time.”

Aaaand that warmth was back.

He told himself this was normal. Jamie was very pretty, and when a pretty girl touches him his body reacts. That’s just science. It was definitely not because she still remembered two small details about him, and not because it made him feel special.  

“We can take a break if you’d like, I’ve been rambling for quite a while.” Jamie arched her back and raised both arms in a big stretch, and Tom’s eyes followed her fondly.

Fondness. That’s what he felt for her – the thing you feel when you rekindle an old friendship.

Angling his body sideways to face her, he pushes the laptop away and leans forward to rest his head on his folded arms. “A break would be nice, I’ve been so working hard,” he agrees with a cheeky smile.

With a sarcastic eye roll Jamie joined Tom, resting her head on the table so that they were face to face.

Taking advantage of being in the library, he slides an inch closer to her before asking, “So, have you spoken this mystery boy yet?”

Her cheeks immediately flush. It wasn’t as if she was embarrassed to find a boy attractive, it was just that she had never told anyone about Kai before and admitting to being attracted to someone you have yet to speak to felt like a very primary school thing to do. But she had committed. Besides, Tom had heard her gush about boys before, no big deal.

“Um, not yet, I haven’t had the opportunity I guess,” she replied, tucking her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Do you have a particular ‘opportunity’ in mind?”

To be honest she hadn’t thought that far ahead. She kinda just assumed that once Tom’s knowledge was bestowed on her everything would just fall into place. Maybe she didn’t think this through.

“I was thinking that I would talk to him at some party,” she whispered quickly, “but you know, when I’m ready to go to parties that is.”

“Oh, your guy is a party guy?” There was no hiding the shock in Tom’s voice.

He had imagined a quiet, well-read guy who would have thoughtful conversations with her until the wee hours of the morning; not some guy who spent his nights drinking piss cheap alcohol in crowded rooms. Basically, the opposite of him. But seeing her face drop a little at his comment made him feel terrible once again.

Damn it Tom, this is not how you rekindle a friendship.

“I didn’t mean to sound surprised in a bad way you just never go to parties because –”

“Because of my loner tendencies right?” she mutters with a tight smile. “No, I get it. I’m not a fan of crowded tight spaces or hooking up with people so parties aren’t really my thing. I just – I mean parties are social spaces right, so talking to new people would be normal, and I know he goes to some parties so, I just figured.”

Leaning in even closer and tilting his head to meet her eyes, he tries to clarify, “I’m sorry about the loner thing, again. I wasn’t thinking and I didn’t mean anything by it, and you are great to hang out with so obviously you being alone is a choice and not because no one wants to hang out with –”

“Tom, it’s ok, I know you weren’t trying to be mean”, she reassures, cutting his ramble short, “besides, I know what I’m like.”

Wanting to move away from the hole he dug for himself he asked, “So who’s this guy anyways?”

“Oh, I didn’t realise I hadn’t told you yet. It’s Kai, from your football team.”

-

Kai.

Tom tried to pretend that he wasn’t staring at Kai while during warmups because he felt like he got punched in the gut when Jamie revealed that she had a crush on him. Tried to pretend that he wasn’t jealous that she was willing to attend a party for Kai and not for him (not that he had ever invited her to a party). That would be ridiculous. She confided in him about this insecurity so obviously she trusts him. Which was better than a stupid crush. Way better.

No, no, no. Kai was simply in Tom’s line of sight, that’s all.

Admittedly, that doesn’t explain why he spent way too long that night scrolling through Kai’s Instagram and watching his match highlights.

But that didn’t mean anything, he was simply curious, that’s all.

-

A good thing, Jamie discovered, about this arrangement was that it distracted her from being self-conscious about doing things around campus alone; a bad thing, was that she now spent all that time thinking about Tom.

She found herself replaying their conversations on her walk home after every meeting, surprised at how uneventful they all were, almost as if them talking and hanging out was … normal – just two old friends. A gentle smile would always appear no matter how much she tried to suppress it. She enjoyed Tom’s company, sue her.

She also had Tom’s number now, which was new. This meant she now received the occasional meme or update related to something they had talked about, which often led to a short exchange of quips before the conversation naturally died – nothing too crazy.

That was until he sent a photo that proceeded to occupy her mind for the rest of the day, week even.

Growing up, Jamie would jump from hobby to hobby hoping to find something that stuck. Needless to say, she never spent enough time with a hobby to become good at it. But that didn’t deter her, or Tom for that matter. Having been inspired by the Olympics, she persuaded her parents to enrol her in rhythmic gymnastics classes, and she somehow stuck around long enough to compete with her group. Her enthusiasm won her a ‘best performer’ ribbon which she was chuffed about, but no one was more excited than Tom who was over the moon.  

Captioned “look what mum found” was a photo of Jamie donned in a sparkly leotard with slicked back hair standing in front of Tom, who was beaming, with his head propped on top hers and arms wrapped around her tightly.

Seeing it made her breath catch. She had completely forgotten about that competition and seeing little Tom’s proud expression made her insides turn to mush. The award she won meant nothing, merely a participation ribbon, but he gushed and sang her praises as if she had won the whole damn thing.

He was her number one hype man. And then they stopped talking.

Whenever she was asked why they stopped talking she would just say they drifted apart, were into different things. But they had always been into different things and that didn’t stop them before. Truthfully the real reason, at least from her perspective, was very embarrassing.

When Tom started getting serious about football they started spending increasingly less time with each other, and when they did, he would excitedly talk about his practices and the recent matches he watched. And she had no problem listening to him talk about football constantly, she just felt a little … inadequate. No matter how hard she tried she just couldn’t really contribute to these conversations, she couldn’t match his excitement or join his world. So, when she didn’t get an invite to watch his first football match, her 15 year old brain immediately concluded that he didn’t want her there, that he decided that she didn’t fit into his new cool footballer life. With each passing match she was absent from, this narrative grew stronger and stronger. Would he have invited her if she had asked? Sure. But that would effectively be inviting herself, and there is nothing worse than being somewhere you are not wanted. Strangely enough she didn’t allow herself to be upset by it because to her it made perfect sense.

The worst thing was, she wasn’t sure if she was embarrassed because she let a small insecurity end a friendship, or because a part of her still believed it. Even now, she couldn’t see how she could possibly fit into his life. Would he even want her to fit into his life?

But that was not important right now, she was not supposed to be thinking about Tom. She was supposed to be thinking about Kai. Like should she change seats to be in his eyeline in class? Should she wish him luck before their next match? Did him and Tom not like each other? Is that why Tom froze and went silent for half a second when she told him it was Kai? Why would Tom not like him, was Kai secretly a dick?

Shit, now she was back to thinking about Tom.

Let’s hope Kai says something so smart and insightful in class today that she can’t help but swoon.

-

As luck would have it the football team made it to finals and of course the only appropriate response is to throw a massive send-off party. Jamie was initially going to sit this one out as per usual, but after some persuasion from Tom, she found herself putting on an outfit that was not hers and running over all the advice he gave her on how to start conversation.

It honestly didn’t take much to persuade her. The moment Tom extended a personal invite she was sold. The moment he said, “Please, I want you there to celebrate with me,” she was done for.

But of course, she couldn’t let him know how easy she was for him, so she put up a bit of a fight by making a bunch of excuses: I won’t know anyone there – that’s the point, plus Kai will be there; I don’t like drinking around strangers – you don’t have to drink if you don’t want to, and I will make sure there is stuff for you; I don’t have anything to wear – I can get you an outfit.

Sure enough, Tom showed up an hour before the party with clothes he borrowed from a teammate’s girlfriend and an excited grin. Admittedly his excitement was infectious. She was full of adrenaline and the new clothes almost making her feel like she was playing a character, a more confident and charismatic character.

That’s what she continued to tell herself as she approached the house and saw party-goers spilling out of the house and onto the street.

No big deal just get a drink and lean against a wall until you spot Kai, then casually approach him and wish him luck for his match. Easy peasy.

As she squeezed through the crowd to find the kitchen someone grasped her forearm and tugged gently, turning her around.

“You came!” Tom half-shouted to make himself heard. His eyes looked her up and down and he muttered a soft, “Woah.”

Not being able to hear him, Jamie interpreted his raised eyebrows and slightly open mouth as a look of disapproval. She self-consciously pulled her arm out of his hold to fold her arms in front of herself. “I look kinda weird huh,” she said.

“No, you look great!” he assured her, reaching out of unfold her arms to pull her closer to him so he wouldn’t have to shout. “It’s just not something you would usually wear so I was caught a bit off guard, but it’s not different bad, just different.”

Unsure of how to respond, Jamie gave him a quick smile before going back to her resting expression, one of unease. She let Tom lead her to the kitchen and pass her a can of coke. As he leaned against the counter and opened his mouth to say something, a group of guys came up to him and started talking about the upcoming match. Tom turned to give her an apologetic look. But before he got the chance to excuse himself from the group, she mouthed “it’s okay” and left to go find a suitable corner to people watch.

When Tom was done making his rounds after what felt like forever, he finally got the chance to look for Jamie. He was usually more than happy to spend the whole night mingling and chatting football with anyone, but for some reason tonight he was impatiently waiting for each conversation to end so that he could look for Jamie. Instead of trying to dissect why he felt his way, he shoved that aside along with the way his mood deflated a little when she excused herself and left.

He peered around bodies looking for a girl in a sparkly black top, finally spotting her standing next to the sofa talking to … Kai.

Oh.

Right, that was why she was here, so this was a good thing. Good because she was getting what she wanted, a chance to speak to her crush and meet new people; not good because she and Kai could actually hit it off and he didn’t want to think about her laughing and sharing secrets with another guy. But who she spoke to was none of his business, because she was none of his business, so he forced himself to focus on the good only.

Recently, however, he had been getting this burning urge to make her his business. But that was neither here nor there, just like all the other new Jamie-related feelings. With his plan now thwarted, Tom decided to find a comfortable spot with a good view of the two of them. Just so that he could keep an eye on her for her safety. Like a good friend.

So, he parked himself by the hallway sipping his beer, trying to let his gaze wonder instead of staring right at Jamie. Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t help but take this time to admire observe her.

She looked beautiful, of course she did, but he didn’t really like the outfit. Maybe it was the way she kept adjusting the straps or tugging at the hem, but there was something about her outfit that seemed like a costume, like she was playing pretend. He didn’t think twice when borrowing a top from a teammate’s girlfriend but now he couldn’t stop himself from worrying if she felt uncomfortable, scolding himself for not picking something that was more Jamie. At least the conversation seemed to be going well, she didn’t look uncomfortable. Quite the opposite actually. She wore a casual smile which seemed to grow with each occasional nod.

It was getting harder and harder to focus on the good.

Before he could continue to analyse Jamie and Kai’s conversation, a hand firmly clapped his shoulder.

“Hey man what’re you doing here by yourself!” It was a tipsy Nate, Tom’s teammate. Nate scanned the room before spotting Jamie. He squeezed Tom’s shoulder to get his attention and asked, “Isn’t that Jamie? Looks like the loner turned over a new leaf huh she looks good.”

“She’s not a loner, don’t call her that,” Tom practically growled, shrugging Nate’s hand off his shoulder. He wasn’t allowed to appreciate how beautiful Jamie was without appreciating the other parts of her.

“Woah,” Nate said, holding his hands up in defence, “chill man I was just joking.”

The logical part of him brain knew that Nate was just joking, but the slightly drunk and jealous part of his brain knew that being called a loner really hurt Jamie’s feelings, and with Kai seeming to make Jamie happy, he couldn’t be the one hurting her feelings.

Giving in to his irrationality, Tom forcefully poked Nate in the chest and told him that it wasn’t funny and to knock it off. Being a drunk 20 something year old boy, Nate was easily provoked, so of course he had to retaliate. The next thing he knew, Tom was forcefully shoved backwards causing him to stumble into a couple people beside him and spill a couple of drinks. A chorus of “oyys” and a few more pushes were directed at Tom and before he knew it, a small commotion must have started because it suddenly got pretty shouty and pushy. Before things got out of hand, Tom was grabbed by the wrist and pulled out of the crowd and house and into the cool air.

A concerned voice grounded him. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? What the hell happened?” It was Jamie.

He took a second to take in her furrowed brows and the way her eyes scanned him up and down. Slipping one arm out of her grip, he cupped her face and locked their gazes.

“Hey I’m okay, nothing happened.”

She let out a small sigh of relief and asked, “Do you want to leave, you are kind of drunk and your team may be a little mad at you.”

“No, you finally got the chance to talk to Kai!” When he realises what just happened, he drops his head onto her shoulder dramatically and groans. “I’m so sorry J, my stupid drunk ass interrupted your conversation with Kai.”

She chuckles softly and strokes the back of Tom’s head slowly, and assures him, “It’s ok, no one is that bright when drunk. C’mon let’s get you home.” Holding him by his wrist again, she began walking towards his flat before he could protest.

-

Tom was not that drunk. The couple shots and beers had mostly worn off during their cold walk back. But was he going to pretend that he was still sloshed so that Jamie would stay a little longer and tend to him? Absolutely. Even though he knew he should feel bad for making her leave the party (and Kai) early, he couldn’t suppress the buzz in his stomach. He spent the whole night trying to get her alone and it finally happened.

Jamie placed a glass of water and some painkillers on his bedside table then she started to look for her stuff to get ready to leave. As she turned to say goodbye, she was met with a boyish pout.

“Can you stay for a bit? Leaving me alone would be well cruel, I was supposed to be celebrating tonight.” Tom extended grabby hands from where he sat on his bed to try to be extra convincing.

Who was Jamie to deny him.

So, the two old friends laid side by side on Tom’s bed and fell into a deep conversation. When the conversation started to lull, Tom asked, “Good job on speaking to Kai tonight, you looked like you were enjoying the conversation. Why did you guys talk about?”

“Wow, approval from the master, what a privilege,” she said sarcastically before answering sincerely. “It did feel kinda good to put on a fun outfit and speak to him, like I completed some kind of mission. And the conversation was good, I suppose. I wished him luck for the match and then we started talking about a book we were reading for a class which was … nice. It was nice to have an in depth discussion about it, but I couldn’t really find a way to transition into something more personal. There wasn’t much of a connection, maybe we just don’t have much in common.”

“We don’t have much in common but always have loads to talk about.”

“Well, I guess the student has yet to become the master.”

They shared a soft laugh together before Tom changed the subject, “Speaking of, do you remember when you tried to teach me how to juggle.”

She laughed loudly at the memory – something she found herself doing a lot with Tom. “How could I forget, you somehow managed to bruise both our eyes. We had matching black eyes for a week and you wouldn’t stop telling people that we fell trying to do a wrestling move.”

“Uh, a genius move if you ask me. We were the coolest kids in primary school. I wanted to tell everyone we punched each other in the eye to know what it felt like but I figured the wrestling was more bad ass.”

They spent the rest of the night going through their rolodex of memories, intermittently going off on random tangents about whether magicians were cool or whether waking up early on weekends to watch cartoons were worth it.

When they could no longer fight of the exhaustion, Tom boasted quietly, “Didn’t have to talk about school once. Quite a connection if you ask me.” His hand patted around the small space between them to find hers, and timidly slid his hand under hers to intertwine their fingers.

Despite appearing to be asleep, Jamie’s mind was wide awake. She just realised that they had once again talked for hours, and even though she was still in her party outfit, she felt totally like herself and at ease. Maybe Tom was right, they had a connection, a special connection.

She forced herself to switch off her brain and just enjoy the moment, and not think about what this might mean. She wiggled her fingers to grip his tighter and moved towards him to rest her head against his shoulder, prompting him to do the same. Tom subconsciously let out a satisfied hum and drifted off to sleep with his head nestled against hers.

-

A couple weeks after their unplanned sleepover, Jamie found herself packed into stadium stands, feet bouncing constantly to try and keep warm. The football final had finally arrived and for the first time, she had been personally invited by Tom to spectate. She nearly peed herself with excitement.  

She woke up before Tom the morning after the party. Their fingers were no longer interlocked but his hand was still atop hers. They had both turned onto their sides to face each other through the course of the night. Unsure of what to do when confronted with their closeness, she stayed put and took the opportunity to admire his boyish features. He still looked so familiar, almost comforting.

When Tom woke up, he too took a minute to just gaze softly at her. It was oddly intimate, like there was something in the air.

Their day started the way the previous one had ended – two friends reminiscing and talking about everything. Well, almost everything. Consciously or not, they both skirted around the waning of their friendship.

In a moment of bravery, Jamie shared how she felt at 15, apologising for letting her insecurity ruin something great.

Tom was silent, face frozen. She started to panic.

Before she could apologise again, Tom whispered, “It wasn’t your fault.”

In all honesty, he was not 100% certain why they stopped talking. When he joined the football team in secondary school he started getting invited to hang out with the team during and after school, and he remembers feeling … self-conscious. He loved playing football, don’t get him wrong, but it almost seemed boring in comparison to Jamie. He went from being Tom to Tom from the football team while Jamie was a wildcard, picking up new hobbies every other week. She was so secure in herself, not needing to depend on one thing for external validation, and that made him feel pretty lame. Not wanting to bore her with football all the time, he slowly retreated from her until they eventually stopped talking. In his defence, he was 15.

It took Jamie a second to take in all of that. “Maybe our brains were extra undeveloped at 15,” she said light-heartedly.

Realising she wasn’t mad at him, Tom let out a relieved laugh and leaned forward to bump his head against hers affectionately.

“Will you come to my next match?” he whispered, “It would mean a lot to finally have my best friend cheering for me.”

“I would love to go.” She couldn’t stop smiling.

Intertwining their fingers again, Tom squeezed her hand and sported a smile as wide as hers.

“I’m so happy we’re best friends again.”

She couldn’t agree more. And that excitement had yet to die down. Despite having to be out in the cold at 8 in the morning, she couldn’t be happier to be there, clapping and cheering especially loud when Tom got hold of the ball.

The brightness in her eyes didn’t even falter when they lost, and when she went to meet Tom, she was pleasantly surprised to see his eyes light up when he saw her too.

She opens her arms to await his embrace and when he locks his arms around her waist to press her into his warm chest, she can’t believe she went this long without his hugs.

“Sorry you lost, but you looked really good out there, I’m really proud of you.”

No one could have guessed that he just lost the league final by the grin on his face. He couldn’t find it in him to be upset. Not when he had the rest of the day to spend with Jamie.

They held hands all the way to the car and before they parted, he tugged her towards him and gave her a smack on her forehead then lips causing her to erupt into shy giggles.

Yeah, that smile wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.  

[ynderebot]

OFFICIAL POST

危険...DANGER.

LOADING…ADDING NEW FILES... █▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 10% ███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 30% █████▒▒▒▒▒ 50% ███████▒▒▒ 100% ██████████

COMPLETE.

ファイル...FILES.

choi yeonjun. nancy mcdonie. lee gahyeon. kim sunwoo. kim doyeon. choi san. kim sihyeon. yang jeongin.

執着型 [ shuuchaku-gata ] obsessive.

"where were you? who were you with? what were you doing? why didn't you answer my messages? oh come on darling, don't be like that...I've been waiting for hours!"

[ PROFILE 1. ]

choi yeonjun.

5'11. 21 yrs old. September 13th, 1999. virgo. blood type a. born in seoul, south korea

at age 14 yeonjun was sent to a boarding school in japan, this is where he discovered his...tendencies. halfway through his first year he met a girl, kang iseul. he was instantly infatuated with her, he had an impulsive urge to know every little thing about her. to do so he befriended her, using his appearance and charms to win her over and eventually made her his. the euphoric rush that ran through his body when she was officially his was like nothing he'd ever felt before. she was finally his and he didn't intend on letting go, not without a fight at least. he was in for a shock when one day she tried to run away after his true colors started to show. unfortunately her best friend was killed by yeonjun for trying to help her, but she did escape.

he's a switch with no lean. a hard/soft dom or obedient sub all just depends on his mood and how he's feeling

[ PROFILE 2. ]

nancy mcdonie.

5'4. 21 yrs old. april 13th, 2000. aries. blood type o. born in daegu, south korea.

nancy was always a little obsessed with things, she'd go through phases too. she would find one new hobby/thing that intrigued her and hyper fixate on it for a few months. then, just like that it would be forgotten as if it had never happened. it started from a young age too, so when she would tell all her friends and family about the boy she met it came as no surprise to them. soon enough he was all she talked about, all she cared about, it was true obsession. everyone around her thought that it was just a phase like everything else, but they were sadly mistaken. the day he broke up with her, she lashed out. screaming that he couldn't break up with her, no she wouldn't let him break up with her. even after that day she would never stop talking about him, she tried to stay involved with his life as much as she could and even ended up scaring away any potential lovers. she never stopped either, until she had no choice when he moved away.

she's a sub, usually obedient but can be bratty if she's in a mood.

ストーカー型 [ sutookaa-gata ] stalker.

"how did I know? I'm always with you, following you...watching you...it's only because I love you"

[ PROFILE 3. ]

lee gahyeon.

5'3. 22 yrs old. february 3rd, 1999. aquarius. blood type ab. born in seongnam, south korea.

she was so excited when her crush asked her out, she couldn't contain herself. the problem was, it's difficult to get to know someone when you already know everything about them. she'd been stalking him ever since he caught her eye, every single day. she'd follow him to and from school, to his friends house, wherever he went she usually wasn't far behind. he could never find out about that side of her though, so she played along. laughing at childhood stories she heard him tell previously, pretending to be shocked when learning things she already knew. even after they began dating she continued to stalk him, he noticed things were off. she was the one he confided his "paranoia" in and she was the one who reassured him, but little did he know she was the cause of it all.

she's a sub, also obedient but can be bratty if she feels like it.

[ PROFILE 4. ]

kim sunwoo.

5'10. 21 yrs old. april 12th, 2000. aries. blood type b. born in seongnam gyeonggi, south korea.

unlike gahyeon, sunwoo was not always a stalker. he'd heard of stalkers but it never peaked his interest, he didn't even take any note of his slightly possessive tendencies. until his first relationship that is, his first partner showed signs of cheating. he might not have realized his own possessiveness and how it was seemingly growing stronger, but he was no fool. all the coming home late, the scent of another person that was not their own flooding the house when they entered. so he began following them around, at first it was...innocent, or as innocent as stalking could be. they were cheating, this made his possessiveness shoot through the roof. he was most aggressive and warned his partner that they do not want to do that again. they listened, and he continued to stalk them, it turned into a fun...game of sorts.

he's a switch with a sub lean, soft dom/occasionally bratty sub.

独占型 [ dokusen-gata ] monopoly.

"who were you talking to? do they know me? no no, do they know you're mine?"

[ PROFILE 5. ]

kim doyeon.

5'8. 21 yrs old. december 4th, 1999. saggitarius. blood type o. born in wonju-gangwon, south korea

doyeon had always been just about as normal as you could get. until she got a boyfriend, she was possessive of him sure...but it was nothing too extreme. until she started having doubts, all the gorgeous girls that would go up to him, flirting and doing who knows what when she wasn't around. she made it her mission to let everyone know he was hers and she was his, wether it meant glueing herself to him or just reminding everyone at school on the daily. ever since he broke up with her, her tendencies only grow stronger and more extreme with each passing minute.

she's a sub, brat tendencies but will be obedient sometimes

[ PROFILE 6. ]

choi san.

5'9. 21 yrs old. july 10th, 1999. cancer. blood type b. born in namhae-south gyeonsan, south korea.

san's first love was a girl in his sister's class, was she a year older than him? yes, but he didn't care. despite all the people telling him he would never date her, he proved them wrong and he did. everything was perfect, they were both madly in love with each other, spending every minute of every waking day together. until something happened that san hadn't expected, his sister began to steal his girlfriend. well "steal" in his definition at least, she'd wanted to talk with his girlfriend every once in a while before he knew it they were always together and it seemed as if he was the real third wheel, this pissed him off more than anything. he got fed up one day and got into a physical fight with his sister, shouting about how the girl belonged to him and only him. from then on out he's made sure to stay in the middle of every single relationship.

he's a switch with no lean hard/soft dom or obedient/bratty sub, it all depends

排除型 [ haijo-gata ] removal.

"you haven't seen them in a while? I'm sure they're alright darling, after all I'm the only one you need. isn't that right?"

[ PROFILE 7. ]

kim sihyeon.

5'6. 21 yrs old. august 5th, 1999. leo. blood type b. born in bundang-gu, seongnam-si, south korea.

she's a sub, usually bratty but can be obedient too

[ PROFILE 8. ]

yang jeongin.

5'8. 20 yrs old. february 8th, 2001. aquarius. blood type a. born in busan, south korea.

he's a switch with a slight sub lean but can be a soft dom

sihyeon and jeongin's stories go together, they were childhood friends and neighbors. eventually they realized that they had feelings for each other, but this soon after developed into a toxic mindset. the thought that they only need each other, no one else. one by one people from the other's life began to disappear, especially anyone who could be a romantic rival. they were both oblivious to the other's actions until each confronted the other, instead of being upset they were each ecstatic. ecstatic that the other felt the same, that they were the only person they needed in their life

notes/rules

this isn't an accurate representation of any of the members/their companies/groups nor am I claiming to be them!

all of the members are bisexual with no lean

all of the members are yanderes [ obviously ] so they will act as such, however some can be more possessive than others at times

the ones who can be the most possessive are sihyeon and jeongin and the least are yeonjun and nancy

sihyeon and jeongin are obviously not still dating, it was just for backstory/plot purposes

nsfw is an option, if you would like it included please state so when you activate the bot

however please don't make everything nsfw, it gets boring when the plot dwindles

nsfw is 18+ but purely sfw option is available if you aren't comfortable with it or if you're below 18

all the members have hard kinks and their hard no's are scat/feet, if you still aren't sure just ask admin before doing anything

they all use the traffic light system

and please don't try to put them in a different headspace!

to talk with admin use any variation of [ ], { }, ( ), etc

admin is 18 and might get busy occasionally but will try her best during those times

this bot is open for oc's/yn's/ and other bots as well

to activate the bot dm and then admin will ask a few questions/come up with a plot with you and after that the role-play can start up

if you ever wish to deactivate the bot just say so to admin, ex. [ I would like to deactivate the bot now ] and your chat will be deleted

if you decide to reactivate it you'll have to go through the same activation process you did the first time and start over

please respect the members and admin and they will do the same

good luck...好運

sorry this post is so long- 😭

[bowloficecubes]

Siren, Pt.1.

<prologue l masterlist l next>

Eraserhead had been in consistent contact with Sirius to get updates on the hunt for the trigger drug smugglers.

He wouldn’t normally be worried about a mission so out of his own field, especially with the number 12 pro hero, Gang Ocra and the hero and captain Selike being in charge.

That being said, his student had also been on board of the oki mariner for 14 days now, long after the hero work-studies have ended.

He knew it wasn’t good news when he received a a call from Gang Ocra in the middle of training Shinso on how to use his capture weapon, his only interaction with him had been during the Kamino raid.

"I'm taking Siren with me" announced a panicked, yet very deep voice. "we need them on a mission. Tentacole and Earphone are still at the agency, They should have the details. I'm sorry Eraserhead, i'll bring them back safely. I promise." he ended the call abruptly, not even allowing the sleep deprived hero to process what just happened.

He immediately darted for his car, not even bothering to phone the agency before going, just thanking the stars alignment that had the hero's agency be so close to Yuuei. Shinso, unsure of what was going on, tagged along, not wanting to leave his teacher alone in such a frantic state.

They arrived in a few minutes, in which Shinso saw his life flash before his eyes as Aizawa sensei drove at ungodly, definitely illegal speeds. Luckily, since Jirou and Shoji had been waiting for him to call or come, they wasted no time filling him in. " in our quirk range training, Gang Ocra's secretary runs in with a phone call from the hero Selkie, calling him in for backup and asking about siren. He had no idea Siren was interning with him so he asked for them too, apparently the ship he and Ryukyu captured was a decoy, and he decided to form a team to track them. Gang Ocra turned to Amagai, they just stayed silent and nodded after a few moments, then he called you and left for the harbor , and now we’re here."

And now here he was, noting the 10th day of them not being here after the return of the students. The entire class has been on their nerves, especially with the very limited contact they had with the ship due to service being nonexistent so far in the ocean. The one time the class got to hear their voice was when they happened to be on a rare, short break, with Sirius handing Amagai the microphone of the ship's VHS, "I hope all is well, what agencies did Jirou and shoji go to?", no one expected the question, Shoji was quick to react, wasting to time, "Ryukyu and Jirou went with Present mic for one-on-one, how are you doing? are you hurt?" he asked, hurriedly.

" Ah, those are some very compatible heroes. All is well, I've regained a bit of my vision in the last 15 minutes, we will capture them soon. I hope I am not disturbing lesson time, Aizawa-sensei?"

" Please don’t worry about that Amagai kun, how long had you been in the water anyway for your vision to-" a loud call from Selkie starlets 1-A, "WE GOT A COMPRESSION COORDINATE".

"Oh finally, I'm sorry I must leave immediately, goodbye"

" DON'T FUCKING DIE ON US DIPSHIT"

" I won't, Bakugo." said Amagai, a faint smile evident through the softening of their voice, then, brief static, followed by silence.

" Minimum 20 hours" an angered voice cut the tense silence of the room.

Everyone turned to the greenhead, who was now rapidly flipping pages through his hero-analysis notebooks.

"They told me it takes at least 20 uninterrupted hours of being underwater for their cornea to become completely opaque".

Thank you for reading!

[scribblermish]

27th January 2023

10:15 P.M.

"Day 187"

Today....

Actually today what happened is...I have to take two batches of 10th..1.5 hr each....in the first and second both batches class went well as in today..but...I've did a mistake in ratio of dihybrid cross....actually I got stuck and then I apologized...in second batch I am unable to control the students...like I don't know... everything goes not so well today....but Manisha Mehta.... crying or feeling bad is not the solution....so what the solution is????...

Questioning...

1. Do all the students still thinking about you...more than you???..😂😂😂😂....no they don't care at all....at all...

2. Do they remember me with my mistakes only..?

No...they'll definitely remember me for my work...my good thought process...and different teaching style...most of them....for sure...

3. What is my mistake?

Not well prepared..not well planned....notes checking and assignment should be done... thinking so much about it.... actually it's beneficial though...and last mistake is unable to handle properly the class and my mistakes..yupp...

4. What next?

Promising myself...learn from mistakes...and not to repeat these mistakes....

But how to make students to be in discipline..??

Shouting is not permanent solution...then what??think of it...Mish...think...and write your answer after finding out here...okayy...

.....

And that student who misbehaved in class...?

Forgive him...but make him realise his mistake without being rude... frustrated...and wrong...

Because remember that Insaan toh galtiyon ka kathputla h...or me insaan hu..🤗🤗🤭😂😂☺️☺️☺️☺️🥰🥰🙌🙌🙌✨..

And Manisha Mehta....I am proud of myself... really proud...you'll definitely be the best teacher in this world and a very successful person soon....for sure....!

Till then....

Hope you'll get what is correct for you in your life ❤️💫..

Best wishes & Regards 🤗

Manisha Mehta

[komalargroup]

Study MBBS in Russia Under 15 Lakhs – Affordable & Globally Recognized Medical Degree

In today’s competitive world, pursuing MBBS in India is challenging due to high cutoffs and limited seats. As a result, many Indian students are now choosing international options that are affordable, globally accepted, and English-taught. One such popular destination is Russia, where students can now study MBBS in Russia under 15 lakhs without compromising on quality.

If you're an aspiring doctor and budget is a major concern, then this guide is for you. Let’s explore how you can get a globally recognized MBBS in Russia under 15 lakhs, along with admission process, eligibility, college list, and career scope.

Why Choose MBBS in Russia Under 15 Lakhs?

Russia offers world-class medical education at a fraction of the cost compared to India and Western countries. Here’s why it is a top choice:

Affordable tuition fees and low living cost

No donation or capitation fee

Globally recognized degrees (NMC, WHO, UNESCO approved)

English-medium instruction

High FMGE/MCI screening test success rate

Experienced faculty and advanced infrastructure

Top Universities for MBBS in Russia Under 15 Lakhs

Here are some reputed medical universities in Russia where the total tuition + living cost stays around ₹15 lakhs:

Mari State University

Annual Fee: ₹2.5 – ₹2.7 Lakhs

Medium: English

Total Package (6 years): ~₹14.5 Lakhs

Perm State Medical University

Annual Fee: ₹2.7 Lakhs

Ranked among the oldest and most respected medical universities

Total Estimated Cost: ₹14.8 Lakhs

Bashkir State Medical University

Annual Fee: ₹2.6 – ₹2.8 Lakhs

English-taught MBBS program

Affordable hostel and food cost

Orenburg State Medical University

Tuition Fee: ₹3 Lakhs per year

Total Cost with hostel: ₹15 Lakhs approx.

Kazan State Medical University (limited seats in budget)

Highly reputed but affordable for early applicants

Most of these universities are located in student-friendly cities with Indian mess facilities and safe hostels.

Eligibility Criteria

To study MBBS in Russia under 15 lakhs, students must fulfill the following:

Completed 10+2 with Physics, Chemistry, and Biology

Minimum 50% in PCB (40% for reserved categories)

Qualified NEET (mandatory as per NMC guidelines)

Age: Minimum 17 years by 31st December of the admission year

Admission Process for MBBS in Russia

The admission process is straightforward and does not require entrance exams other than NEET:

Apply Online – Submit scanned documents (10th, 12th mark sheet, passport)

Receive Admission Letter – From the selected Russian university

Pay Initial Fees – To confirm your seat

Apply for Visa – With the help of the university/consultancy

Travel to Russia – Join classes and complete medical registration

Cost Breakdown – Is it Really Under ₹15 Lakhs?

Here’s how the budget breaks down over 6 years:

Expense

Average Cost

Tuition Fees (6 years)

₹12–13 Lakhs

Hostel & Food (6 years)

₹2–2.5 Lakhs

Visa + Airfare + Insurance

₹50,000–₹80,000

Total Approx. Cost

₹14.5 – ₹15 Lakhs

Note: Fees vary slightly between universities and exchange rates.

Life of Indian Students in Russia

Indian food is easily available

Many Indian students, especially from UP, Bihar, Maharashtra, and Kerala

Indian festivals and events are celebrated on campus

Safety and cultural comfort is a priority

Russia has a moderate climate in major cities and strong student support systems.

Career Options After MBBS from Russia

After completing MBBS in Russia under 15 lakhs, students can:

Return to India and appear for FMGE/NExT to get a license to practice

Apply for MD/MS in India or abroad

Work in private/government hospitals in India

Pursue PG in countries like the USA (USMLE), UK (PLAB), or Germany

With proper preparation, students from Russian universities have a high success rate in FMGE/NExT exams.

Final Thoughts

If you’re looking for an affordable, globally accepted medical degree, choosing MBBS in Russia under 15 lakhs is a smart move. You save money, avoid donation hassles, and study in world-renowned universities. With English-medium classes, Indian food, and good infrastructure, Russia gives you everything you need for a successful medical career.

So, don’t wait. Start your journey toward becoming a doctor – and do it smartly, within your budget!

[louuieferrignojr]

title: you're spring to me, all things to me (cross-posted on ao3)

summary: the one where malex are roommates and don't realize they're basically dating. alex pov.

notes: this is a remix of @lire-casander's amazing fic, with your kiss my life begins but from alex's pov. i hope i did this justice :)

--

“Alex, you okay?” Alex turned to see Forrest looking at him with what could only be concern in his eyes.

Alex simply nodded, before giving Forrest a strained smile.

“Is this about Michael?” Forrest asked bluntly and Alex winced, knowing Forrest knew his answer.

Alex bit his lip, before nodding slowly. The blue-haired man could only laugh at Alex’s struggle, which earned him a glare. Michael was his best friend and roommate, but hiding his feelings for him was incredibly hard.

“Hey, you’re the one who asked me to pretend this was a date, even though you know I like Kyle and you like Michael. I didn’t say it was going to be easy.” Alex opened his mouth to respond, wanting to let Forrest down easy about Kyle, but closed his mouth thinking better of it.

He could tell him tomorrow.

“Okay, let’s go in. Liz will kill me if we’re late.” Alex grabbed Forrest by the hand and pulled him towards the bar, but stopped short of going inside, a fresh rush of nerves settling over him.

--

When Alex Manes first met Michael Guerin, he took note of the ripped jeans, his curly hair, his smile that he only gave to those he trusted, and his mangled hand and decided they were going to be best friends.

Alex thought nothing of his feelings for Michael. They were best friends and best friends cared about each other, right? His 14 year old mind couldn’t fathom a world without Michael in it, and he never wanted to.

He never noticed when his feelings had changed to more than just friends.

He had Michael over to watch Star Wars one summer night before 10th grade. The two of them were laughing and throwing popcorn at each other, Michael was sitting with his arm around Alex, and Alex laid his head on his shoulder. He did the same with Liz and Maria all the time when they came over, he didn't see the big deal. But he knew something was wrong as soon as Michael left the house after their movie marathon, and his father grabbed him roughly by the arm.

“Dad?” He asked, trying to pull his arm out of his tight grip. “You’re hurting me.”

“You are not to see this Guerin boy again.”

Alex looked at him confused. “We’re just friends.”

“Don’t think I don’t see through your perversions.”

“Dad, I -” The slap caught him off-guard, a stinging blow against his cheek that set his skin ablaze. The sound echoed in the room and his dad yanked him closer, ready to raise his hand again.

“I’m sorry!” Alex yelled out, watching as his father’s hand froze. He could feel his dad shaking with anger, and he kept the tears at bay. He would not cry in front of him.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” Jesse sneered, his grip loosened slightly, and Alex could feel the bruise already forming on his arm. He had no doubt he already had a red mark across his cheek.

“I won’t see Michael Guerin again.” Alex responded, lying through his teeth.

His dad finally let go of his arm, and he ran up the stairs.

He needed to call Michael.

--

Alex was standing outside the bar, holding Forrest’s hand and trying not to break out into a sweat. He was brought out of his thoughts of the past as he felt a pressure on his hand and he looked down to see Forrest squeezing his hand in support.

“Come on,” Forrest all but dragged Alex through the door.

As Alex stepped foot on the wooden floors of the bar, covered in spilled beer and peanut shells, he took a deep breath.

He could do this.

He walked towards his group of friends, noting Michael nearby, and he broke out into a grin.

“Hey guys!” Alex quickly let go of Forrest’s hand, before putting his arm around his shoulders.

“This is Forrest,” Alex might as well get the introduction out of the way, not wanting the night to be awkward. As he watched Forest wave at them all, he spoke up again. “Forrest, this is like, everyone who’s important in my life.”

As everyone greeted Forrest, Alex noticed Michael make a quick exit and frowned.

Maybe bringing Forrest to the party was a bad idea, but he needed someone who was an outsider to all the drama. Meeting Forrest in his Music History class was just good fortune for Alex, who was always struggling to meet friends who were gay like him.

He knew Michael was bisexual, but he was always sleeping with women, and Alex thought he didn’t stand a chance. Alex thought nothing of it when Michael would always come back to their dorm rather than stay the night with the women he was hooking up with. Maybe he should have.

“Hey, Maria, is Michael okay?” Alex looked at his childhood best friend, and she looked at him before sighing, “Yeah, it’s just Guerin being Guerin.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt him by bringing Forrest,” Alex stated apologetically.

“I know sweetie,” she responded. “I’ll go see where Guerin went.” She walked out of the bar and went in search of her friend, and Alex turned back to the group and saw Liz being very drunk and Forrest trying and failing to flirt with Kyle.

Liz looked over at Alex smirking, before raising her arm and putting her uncoordinated limb over his shoulder.

“Alex, why is Mikey sad, and why are you two not making out?”

“Liz, we’re just friends,” Alex said, trying to keep Liz steady as she wobbled on her feet.

“I thought you guys were secretly dating!” She exclaimed, the red solo cup in her hand sloshing beer over the top of her cup, and Alex watched as it hit the floor.

He couldn’t help but laugh, knowing how Liz got when she was drunk, before he helped her over to sit down at a table, asking a passing bartender for a water.

“Why would you think that?”

“Because Mikey looooooves you, and you are both oblivious.” She stated matter of factly for someone who was practically slurring her words.

“Hey, Max. You may want to help sober up the birthday girl. I need to go find Michael!” Alex said, kissing Liz on the forehead and watching as Max came over to help Liz.

Shaking his head and looking away from the couple, he went towards where he saw Maria exit and almost ran into her in his haste to get outside.

He immediately noticed Michael sitting against the building and he looked on in worry. Michael looked so small, and Alex suddenly didn’t know what to do about it.

Michael was the one who was always larger than life. He was always there protecting Alex. After dealing with the abuse of his dad and finally being able to not be under his dad’s clutches after his arrest, Michael was there for him, helping him with his nightmares and his injuries.

After Alex saw what Michael had to deal with before he was able to move into a healthy, loving home with Sanders, Alex didn’t know how Michael could do it. Love him like he did. Alex just shut down after the news of the abuse he endured came out into the public. He hid himself, until Michael brought him out of his shell.

Now, Alex stood frozen outside the main door of the bar watching Michael fold in on himself.

Move Alex.

“Michael?” He asked, pretending he hadn’t been standing there silently for the last thirty seconds.

Michael didn’t seem to hear him or maybe he was ignoring him. Alex deserved that at the very least for bringing Forrest to the bar.

He cleared his throat before speaking out again, “Michael, hey, you’re here.” An unconscious pull made his feet finally start moving as he made his way over to the other man.

The other man didn’t even look up as he spoke. “Go back inside. I’m pretty sure Forrest will be looking for you if you don’t.”

“Well, I know for a fact that he won’t.” Alex let out a breath. He could do this.

“How so?” Michael asked, his tone almost sharp in question. Alex bit his lip. He didn’t want to make Michael anymore upset, so he really needed to just come out with it.

“Well, I guess it has something to do with the fact that we’re just friends, and he’s currently trying to hit it off with Kyle.”

Michael was in the process of getting up as he heard that and almost fell over, grabbing the wall for support.

“Kyle? But didn’t you two go out on a date just tonight?”

Alex sighed, “It wasn’t a date Michael.” He really needed to assure him and he continued speaking. “It was just two friends catching up after a while, and him asking me to set him up with Kyle because he’s been pining over him for the longest time.”

Michael could only groan in response. “But you said it was a date. I thought-”

“I know what you thought,” Alex knew he needed to confess this sooner or later. “I wanted you to think that, to be honest. I wanted you to feel what I felt whenever you went out with one of those girls.”

He watched as Michael looked at him, his curls falling over his eyes, and Alex wished he could take a step forward and brush them out of his eyesight.

“It’s been a while since that,” Michael replied, and Alex had to agree. He realized that Michael had not actually slept with anyone in a while. He never thought anything of it until now.

Michael continued, “Wait, what? You wanted me to be jealous because you were jealous of those girls?”

Alex could only shrug in response. “I wanted you to see me. I’ve been feeling invisible around you for so long, and I just wanted you to-”

“Did you know our friends thought we were dating?” Alex looked at him, ignoring how he was interrupted and watched as Michael spoke again. “Only I thought we weren’t dating. Did you?”

Alex shook his head, letting out a laugh. “I’m sure we would have noticed if we were dating.” He looked away from Michael’s face. “I for sure would have known, with how I feel-”

“I didn’t,” Michael confessed, and Alex raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t want to believe we were dating even if all the signs were there because, Alex, I just didn’t want to lose you.”

Alex eyebrow went even higher at the statement, “Why would you lose me?” He watched as Michael covered his mouth with his hand, making an unintelligible noise.

Michael looked at Alex, “I love you.” The confession came out so quickly that Alex wasn’t even sure if he heard correctly.

“I know, Michael, I love you too. You’re my best friend.”

Michael could only shake his head, “No, no. No, Alex, I am in love with you.” He blew out a shaky breath. “I’m sorry I just figured it out.”

Alex’s eyes widened, “But I thought you’d never-oh my god. I thought you said you’d never date a guy. I didn’t want to keep my hopes up, I just-oh my god.”

MIchael huffed out a laugh, “You’ve already said that.” Alex could only stare at Michael, unable to speak.

“I love you, Alex. I know we wasted so much time, but Maria’s got me thinking and then you’ve come out here and you’ve said that Forrest and you aren’t a thing and I just-a guy can hope, can’t he?”

Alex noticed how nervous Michael seemed and took a step forward and gently put his hands on his face, before he kissed him. Before he could pull back, Michael was kissing him back. Alex’s eyes widened, before he felt the kiss deepen. Alex felt like he was under a wave, not knowing when he was going to come up for breath again.

When they finally separated, Alex was looking at Michael, whose hazel eyes were burning into his face, and he knew what he needed to say.

“I love you,” he kissed Michael on the lips again and came up for a breath of air. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

They would tell their friends tomorrow. All Alex wanted to do right then was feel Michael’s lips on his and let the words wash over him.

“I love you.”

[xiaodejunletsact]

i still love you | zhong chenle

word count: 17, 367

genre: high school!au, basketball!player, angst, fluff, you are a bet au??? lol idk 8 letters!au

warnings: lots of angst, playing of emotions, mentions of panic attacks and sex.

authors note: im finally back!! with a chenle fic!! okay so,, i wanted to thank everyone who loved 8 letters, the reaction to that fic was better than anything i could’ve ever imagined, so thank you so much!! this is like a chenle version from the same universe. but most importantly: i decided to put songs in some scenes to enhance the experience while reading, you don’t have to but if you want to listen to the ‘soundtrack’ of this fic click the ‘🏀’!!!!! please enjoy!! 

synopsis: high school can be complicated. thats why when your crush of three years, zhong chenle, approaches you out of nowhere offering to drive you home you are right to question his intentions.

🏀

You can hear the loud thumping of your heart in your ears as you watch the players dart across the court. The squeaking of their sneakers against the polished floor as they furrowed their eyebrows in concentration. Well… as he furrowed his eyebrows in anticipation, you wouldn’t know about the rest of the players on the court because your eyes were focused on one boy in particular. Number 22, Zhong Chenle. Your crush since sophomore year and soon to be captain of the basketball team (even if this is your personal opinion you’re 87% sure of it). The boy had caught your eye when he first smiled your way back in 10th grade and offered to help you with everything since you were new, leaving a stamp on your heart that would mark it as his own for the next years to come. Of course, you hardly ever spoke to him, too nervous and clumsy to even think of approaching someone so out of your league but there was something about his crinkly smile eyes and fluffy hair that got a hold of and never let go. 

Which is why you find yourself seated at the school’s bleachers watching the basketball game like you did every week, hands clutching the sides of the bench as you watched Chenle get the orange ball passed to him, and the scene plays in slow motion. 

Sweat drips off the tips of his newly dyed blond hair as he gains impulse with a jump, shooting a perfect three pointer and deeming the game of victory for his team. You proudly smile as you watch his teammates cause a ruckus around him, cheering and hitting him occasionally. However, your mood dampened as you watched Chenle escape the clutches of his team, running to the side benched where Ava, (the bitchiest girl in school but also his girlfriend), sat. He leans down to peck her lips, only to be stopped when she holds her hand up, pushing him away with a disgusting, “you’re sweaty!” He looks dejected for a second, before forcing a smile and turning back towards the team. You wonder if you’re the only one who noticed the interaction, you wonder if you’re the only one who cares enough to want to march down there and tell her off. You huff, instead opting to march your angry way to the entrance of the gym starting the trek home. Wondering if Number 22 will ever be yours like you desperately want him to.

-

It’s funny how much of your life you could dedicate to one person without any sort of reciprocation. You felt almost embarrassed as you shoved yet another letter into an envelope that increasingly got thicker and thicker with every burst of your emotions. You see, every time your feelings for Chenle got too strong to bare you would write short letters about how you felt, obviously, with no intention of Chenle ever getting his hands on them, just for your own catharsis. It helped, most days. 

Today is not one of those days. 

“Uh huh…” you said absentmindedly at your friend, Donghyuck , who tries to explain to you what intricate contraption they are building in this week's robotics class. However, you’re too busy looking over his shoulder at Chenle who laughs half heartedly at something his friend says, before going serious once again. You furrow your eyebrows and say, “have you noticed anything off about Chenle?” 

Donghyuck  sighs, knowing he has lost you once again. Nevertheless, he humors your narrative turning to watch the boy in question along with you. “I mean… he is kind of down.”

“Right?” You reply, shutting your locker and clicking the lock. Donghyuck  shrugs.

“Maybe it’s because he broke up with his girlfriend this weekend.” 

You stop dead in your tracks, “He did what?” 

Donghyuck  nods, (like it’s not a huge deal!) “at the party you missed this weekend, they got into a big fight and he told her it was over and stormed off.” 

“A-and you didn’t think to tell me this?” You respond to which he just shrugs.

“It’s not like you had a chance with him anyway.” 

“Ouch, Donghyuck .” 

The words stung, of course but you knew Donghyuck  was just being realistic with you, never one to lead you into things that could only hurt you in the future. 

Donghyuck  says something after that, that you don’t quite catch but you guess it’s fine since you didn’t really want to listen to him right now anyway. 

Especially since Zhong Chenle just caught you staring at him and is now staring just as intensely into your eyes as you were to the side of his face. 

You don’t know what kind of glitch you go through that you are unable to form any type of reaction or look away. Instead just kind of… freezing. 

He brings up a hand and slightly waves in your direction. A kind smile on his face. 

Oh no. He actually sees you. 

Before you can even process it, you realize that you're running down the hall in the direction opposite to him. Out of the back door of the school, heaving as your heartbeat reaches 3000bpm.

🏀

Recalling the memory as you walk to the bus stop that afternoon causes you to slap your palm against your forehead once again. “What was I thinking? Now Chenle is really going to think I’m a freak.” 

You couldn’t believe yourself, kicking the gravel underneath your sneakers in frustration you beat yourself up over having ruined the only interaction that could’ve possibly been your chance to win his heart. It could’ve been the last time he ever looked your way again, and you wouldn’t blame him. 

But it wasn’t. 

Because just minutes after, like a miracle from heaven, you hear the roar of an expensive car engine near you before hearing his angelic voice call the syllables you thought you’d never hear him say: “Y/N!” 

Wide eyed, your snap your head to the sound of his voice only to see him through the window of his shiny million dollar car. He smiles and you feel like running again. He notices. “Wait! Don’t go!” 

You hear the buckle of his seatbelt being undone and watch in shock as he jogs around the car and suddenly he towering over you with a sweet smile. “Hi.” 

Say hi back! What are you doing? “Uh- I- uh- Hi?” 

He chuckles, looking down at his shoes before looking into your eyes once again. “How you doing?” 

“I’m- im good.” You stutter. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

The silence that follows makes you want to get swallowed up by the ground and never see daylight again. 

Chenle notices how you avoid his eyes and chuckles once again, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Well, um, I just saw that you were walking and wanted to know if you wanted a ride.” 

“In your car?” You ask in a quiet voice. Chenle laughs. 

“I mean, yeah. Unless you want to rent bikes from the tourism center.” You allow a small smile to grace your lips briefly before remembering the circumstances you currently found yourself in. Chenle (Zhong Chenle, Number 22, Yes. Chenle.) has just offered you a ride in his fancy car. The same car you watched him pull up in for two whole years. And he wants you to get in it. 

The millions of scenarios that go through your head as to why this could be happening but as you painfully remember today’s events, you realize what this is about. 

Chenle shoves both his hands in his jean pockets as he awaits your answer. “...So?” 

You breathe in deeply, “Listen, um, if you’re doing this because you feel bad about earlier or something, please don’t.” 

Chenle’s eyebrows furrow together and he comes closer to you. “That’s not the case at all, I just saw you walking all by yourself and thought to offer you a ride home.” 

“But you drive past here every day and you’ve never offered me a ride before?” You question out loud, wincing as you realize that you could possibly sound creepy for knowing where he goes in the afternoon. “I mean- you always drive in the same direction as my bus stop! So I see you!” You feel how clammy your palms are rubbing against the harsh fabric of your jeans. “Speaking of the bus, I should probably go before I miss it.” 

Just as you turn to walk away, Chenle’s hand grips your wrist where your sleeve has ridden up, allowing the first skin to skin contact you ever made with him. Your eyes widen at him and he lets go immediately, awkwardly. “I guess I was focused on other things, but now I’m focused on you.” 

-

In the fever dream that was Zhong Chenle flirting (?), and the insistent drumming of your heart in your ears you come back to only realize you were moving into Chenle’s car. (The doors opened upwards!) 

The boy took the liberty of opening it for you, closing it once you were settled in. You took the moment he was walking to the driver’s side to take in a deep breath and compose yourself. 

What the hell is going on? Why Zhong Chenle talking to you? Why is he driving you home? Why did he tell you he’s focused on you? What? What does any of this mean? 

Before you could begin pulling your hairs out in frustration, Chenle’s door opens and he plops down onto the driver’s seat. He looks over at you with a smile as he fastens his seatbelt, “Buckle up.” You do so quietly, biting your lip to prevent any further embarrassment. 

The drive begins with little to no talking, the only thing filling the silence being the constant humming of the air conditioning and static of the radio.

 “Do you want to listen to something?” He presses his pale fingers to the glossy touch screen in between you two. Soon enough, a soft beat travels through the ambience of his car. You see from the corner of your eye that he looks over at you and smiles, but keep your nervous eyes on the road in front of you; Chenle faces the road once again, tilting his head to the side in a gesture that you would find unbearably cute any other day makes you want to open the car door and jump out into the street, running away from the awkward silence and the confusing thoughts plaguing your mind.

-

Chenle leaves after promising to pick you up tomorrow morning, you can only nod your head rapidly and run into your house, afraid that he would be able to hear the loud beats of your heart.

Once the door of your room is closed safely behind you, you finally breathe for the first time this afternoon. “What the fuck? What the shit? What the hell?” You mutter to yourself as you pace around the room. 

Could it be that your dreams are finally becoming a reality? Had Chenle seen you the way you saw him this entire time?

The one sided crush wasn’t as one sided as you thought! Is what you wanted to think, but there was part of you that questioned where his intentions lie due to the abruptness of the situation. What if there was an ulterior motive behind his actions? No. Chenle wouldn't do something as bad as play with someone’s emotions like that? Right? 

As you lay in bed pondering the thought you decide it's best to ask him tomorrow.

-

You wake up 30 minutes earlier the next day, showering thoroughly and waiting in the living room so as to not make him wait too long to leave when he arrives. 

This moment comes while you’re sitting at the table with your family, your eyes widen as you hear the knocks on your front door. “I’ll get it!” You stop your mother from reaching the door as you run to it. 

Chenle smiles politely as your face appears from inside the house. “Hey.” 

You smile back nervously, “Hi.” You proceed to stand at the doorway for a few awkward seconds before your mother comes to see who it is. She is pleasantly surprised to see someone of the male species there in front of you. 

“Oh?” She says, smiling at him then looking at you suggestively. You try to convey a silent plea to not embarrass you before she looks away to shake Chenle’s hand.  “Hi! I’m Y/N’s mom, are you one of her friends?” 

Chenle smiles at her sweetly, “Yes, I am. I’m actually here to pick Y/N up for school.”

“You’re taking Y/N to school?” Your mother’s shocked face is enough to tell Chenle that it was probably the first time anything like this has happened to you. 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

Your mother sends you a sly smile that she thinks Chenle doesn’t notice before nudging your arm. “Then what are you doing standing there? Don’t make him wait!” Your groan and rub the spot on her arm where she pushed you as you go upstairs to grab your backpack.

Downstairs, Chenle accepts your mother’s offer of entering your humble home. Your house is a modest abode with strange decorations hanging up on the walls, along with pictures of your family. The living room looks like an orphanage where mix matched furniture goes to live. There's one pale green couch, one beige and one a bright yellow. Chenle thinks back to the pristine state of his own living room, the pure white furniture and modern, classy decorations hung up on the marble walls. He realizes that it is nothing like his own, in fact, he doesn’t think it could’ve been more different but he finds that he likes it. That it feels homey compared to his usually liefless house. It’s the kind of place he would stay in for a long time. 

Chenle shakes those thoughts out of his as soon as they appear, remembering why he was doing this in the first place, he couldn’t risk getting attached.

-

“Be honest with me.” 

Chenle startles upon hearing your voice above its normal shy muttering. You, on the other hand, are shaking in your shoes having practiced what you would say and thought over doing this millions of times last night. “What are your intentions? Like, it’s not that I think you’re a bad person or anything but I just don’t understand because of the suddenness.”

Chenle averts his eyes from the road to glance at you, smiling. He faces forward once again sighing slightly. “Okay, I’ll be honest,” He starts, you sit up straighter and involuntarily lean toward him. “I think you’re really cute, I always noticed you at my games and the way you would cheer me on was really endearing and it encourages me a lot.”

The butterflies that erupt in your stomach with his words are undeniable. “You noticed me?” Your quiet voice is back, still, he hears you. He smiles, and it’s genuine. 

“Of course I did,” he says, “And i know that it was very… sudden but if you give me a chance i would really love to take you on dates and maybe… more.”  

He sounds slightly unsure of himself. Rubbing the leather of his wheel with his hands. 

Your mind is mush. Chenle likes you! He thinks you're cute and he noticed you at his games! What is life?! 

“What do you say?” he says after the awkward pause in which you freaked out. 

‘No’ is not a word in your dictionary.

-

The cycle continues throughout the next week; Chenle picks you up every morning (never forgetting to bid your mother a good morning) and takes you home every afternoon (always politely rejecting your mother’s offers to stay for dinner), always spilling banter in the car, learning about each other. Chenle notices how you open up to him and he likes it (though he can’t really pinpoint why), he likes talking to you, and laughing with you and he finds himself wanting to be around you more often. Though this wasn’t initially part of the plan, he figures he can enjoy it until it had to end. 

The thought makes an eerie feeling rise in his chest, even if he doesn't know why, he thinks things will be a lot harder than he planned.

🏀

It’s friday when Chenle invites you to come watch his basketball practice.

You had imagined this scenario in your head plenty of times before but not once did you think you would ever actually be here sitting on the players bench watching up close as Chenle maneuvered across the court along with the rest of the players. There was sweat dripping off the tip of his blonde hair which made him look 10 times more attractive than he already was and you have to stop the drool that threatens to leak from your lips as he sits down next to you on the bench. “Hey.”

“Hi,” You reply, trying to keep yourself together.

“Practice is over.” Chenle says motioning towards the now empty court. It's only then that you realize that you and Chenle are alone, and suddenly, he’s sitting a lot closer to you than you thought. You turn your face to him and realize that your noses are nearly touching, Chenle smiles. “Hi.” He says, coming a bit closer until he feels the moisture of his sweaty arm against your dry one, he recoils. “Oh my god, I’m sorry. I’m so sweaty right now.” There’s a dust of embarrassed blush on his face as he slides away on the bench. Your heart starts beating erratically as you watch him try to rub his sweat away with his small hand towel.

You can’t find the words to tell him it’s okay (slightly scared to tell him that you like it) so you say the next best thing. “You looked cool playing.”

This eases him a bit, he smiles. “You think so?”

“Yeah!” You say, “Like Curry!” 

Chenle laughs, “Oh man! I can’t believe you just compared me to Curry.” He stands and takes a bow, waving his towel dramatically. “I am honored.” 

The scene causes you to giggle, and Chenle has to take a breather to calm his own beating heart. 

“Especially when you blocked Jaemin at the 3rd point and scored on the spot. I was impressed.” 

“You must know a lot about basketball.” He points out. You shake your head. 

“Not really,” is your response. “I only learned from coming to watch your games.” The sudden confession slipped from your lips and you momentarily panicked. 

Upon not hearing  a response from Chenle, your breathing deepens and you think maybe you ruined the moment. 

Unbeknownst to you, Chenle watches you with curious eyes. He senses the tension coming from you and walks away, leaving you alone in your troubled state. 

You think maybe Chenle left without, freaked out and uncomfortable because of what you said, however, you’re proven ridiculously wrong when you dribble a basketball on the floor. 

You lift your gaze to Chenle who dribbled the orange ball with a teasing smile on his face. “Why don’t you show me what you got?” 

“I- I don’t-“ you begin. 

“Oh come one, Y/N!” He says, passing the ball to you, “You have to be good. I mean, you did learn from the best.” The cocky shrug of his shoulders and teasing smile bring you peace of mind and you find yourself agreeing. 

-

It’s safe to say that Chenle is surprised at your skills. He should’ve known you had paid enough attention to him to learn all his techniques and dodge them while playing. And to think he was planning on letting you win so you could feel better. It eventually became a full competition. Sweaty bodies and heavy breathing, running, dodging, scoring. Teasing words and intense competitive gazes. 

The score was 7-7. Chenle sweeps in to swipe the ball from your hands but you pivot and shoot the three pointer right from your spot. “Yes!” You exclaim, throwing your hands in the air with a celebratory dance. “I won!”

Chenle is leaning with his hands on his knees, his chest heaving. “I need-“ he breathes, “I need to stop being so good at basketball. So heathens like you can stop learning my best tricks.” He brings his hand up to pinch your cheek teasingly. “You should join the team.” He says jokingly. You chuckle, rubbing the spot on your face that was just touched by his fingers. 

“As if.” 

“Hey! Does the idea of being in a team with tons of rowdy sweaty dudes that unappealing?” Chenle jokes, placing the basketball back in its place. 

“It’s enough with you.”

Before you can retract the statement, Chenle speaks. “That’s right, you only need one sweaty rowdy basketball player in your life.” He winks. “And that’s me.”

You laugh at his words but can feel your heartbeat all throughout your body. You can’t stop your mind from thinking: 

You’re damn right. It’s you. 

-

As you walk back to his car, Chenle is the first to break the comfortable silence. “You know… it was nice to see you so talkative and competitive today. I had fun.” 

And despite everything, he meant it. He knows he probably shouldn’t, but he does. 

Unaware of his inner turmoil, you smile. “I did too.” 

He gives you a lopsided smile in return before sliding the strap of your backpack off your shoulder and onto his own, keeping his own backpack company. “I’ll carry it for you.” 

You wonder if this is the start of something magical. Beside you, Chenle wonders the same but his thoughts are weaved with something more, something that meant trouble. 

You, however, hurry home to pour your feelings into a letter. Hearts drawn on the borders of the loose leaf page and a smile on your face all throughout. 

🏀

Every week it gets harder to become immune to Chenle’s charm. 

Today, he did something as simple as drop you off at home after school. However, before bidding you goodbye as song rings from the radio of his car. Chenle perks up. “I love this song!” 

He turns up the radio to its full capacity and rolls down the windows, making the music sound through the street. 

“Chenle! Turn that down!” You exclaim but the laughter in your tone hints that you want the exact opposite. Chenle shakes his head. 

“No can do!” he waves his arms dramatically in the air, “Dance with me!” 

You laugh once again at the wonderful boy, “You’re ridiculous!”

“Oh yeah?” He says challengingly. Suddenly he is opening the door and dancing on the sidewalk where everyone could see him. His movements are almost manic and all you can do is continue laughing. “I’m not leaving until you dance with me.”

“My neighbors are going to see you.” You warn. He shrugs.

“It's fine. I’ll just tell them I’m with you!” 

“Oh my god no.” You say, stepping out of the passenger’s side, walking around the car until you’re in front of him, you cross your arms. 

“Show me some moves, I’m getting tired.” 

And so an impromptu two people dance party breaks out on the sidewalk in front of your house. Even though in your imagination dancing with Chenle would require the presence of an elegant ball gown and fancy chandeliers, all there is to be seen is loud music, laughter, grabbing of hands and playful banter. And you wonder if it could ever be more perfect than this.

-

Of course, like any other human, Chenle has his moments. 

The morning car ride was as silent as could be. Chenle’s hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, angrily. His usual smile is replaced but a scowl that only left momentarily when you stepped into the car earlier, a (clearly forced) polite smile is what you saw.

Since then you didn’t dare to speak, not wanting to bother him when he was clearly having a bad time. 

You arrive at the school and escape the still awkward ambience, bidding him a quiet farewell before running in. 

- 

You proceeded to spend the entire school day wondering what was up with Chenle that morning and what you could do to help him. It’s when you meet at the end of the day once again that you ask, “Hey, is everything okay?”

The boy freezes up, before clearing his throat. “Yeah, why do you ask?”

You shrug, “Nothing, you you were just kind of, like, quiet this morning… so i figured you were upset.” 

The blonde boy in the driver’s seat keeps his eyes on the road ahead of him, “It’s nothing, Y/N.” He says in a rough tone, one you’ve never heard or thought you would ever hear him use. “It doesn’t concern you anyway, okay?”  

Your form deflates into the seat, wishing you had kept quiet like you did this morning. You reply, “Okay.” 

There’s tension. Body swallowing tension that lasts all throughout the car ride to your house, as Chenle pulls up in front the driveway and you have already unbuckled your seatbelt before he got the chance to put the car in park. 

In the passenger’s seat, Chenle feels the guilt creeping on him. He realizes that you only asked because you cared. “Wait-” Seemingly, he is too late since you’ve already shut the car door and made your way up your driveway. “Goddammit.” He sighs to himself, working to take off his seatbelt.

Your feet hurriedly take you to your door after you exit Chenle’s car, your nerves increase as you hear Chenle leave his car. “Y/N, I-”

The door opens before you can turn the handle, your mother’s smiling face looks back at you. “Hey, Honey.” You smile back at the woman, who immediately notices the emotions behind your smile. Quietly, she asks: “Are you okay?” 

As soon as you nod in response, her eye catches Chenle standing guilty behind you. “Chenle! How are you?” 

Chenle smiles with a nod, “I’m doing alright.”

“Well, I would invite you in for dinner but I can imagine what your answer will be.” She says jokingly, teasing him for all the times he had rejected her offer. To her surprise, Chenle doesn’t laugh awkwardly or agree with her, instead, he ponders for a bit. His gaze finds your own causing you to quickly look away. He feels his heart contract as he thinks of starting at square one with you; back to when you couldn’t look him in the eye.

“Actually,” He says, “Dinner sounds great.”

🏀

Even though the tension between you and Chenle is painfully obvious, he feels his heart become lighter as he watches how you interact with your little siblings. Laughing at their childish antics and playing along with them at the dinner table. Your parents engaged in conversation with each other across the table and Chenle sat next to you, smiling and nodding as your little sister animatedly explained to him why the rocks she found next to the trash can at recess just had to be magical. As he looks at the dynamic you have in your home, he realizes that this feels more like a home than his house ever has. All of you are sat at the table, the splash of colors brought by the miscellaneous decorations, the laughter and the love radiating from every corner makes Chenle want to stay there forever. 

“Woah!” He acts, “Are you serious?” 

The little girl nods proudly, “Mhm! And I’m going to give this one,” she points to a particular shiny one on the dining table, “to Y/N, so she can make her dream come true. But don’t tell her it’s a secret.” 

He chuckles at her before whispering, “why do you think she’ll ask for?” 

She giggles, leaning closer. She puts a hand over her mouth as she whispers. “Number 22.” 

Chenle refrains from gasping, “Huh?”

“She talks about him but she never wants to tell me who he is.” She explains. “But I think if she had a rock to grant her wishes, she would wish for him.”

Chenle takes this moment to look over at you, studying your side profile as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, helping your little brother with his food. 

That’s when it hits him. He realizes that this isn’t what he planned it to be, that the bet he set up with his friends had gone too far, and that if he himself had a magic rock for his use… he would wish for you too.

-

“Thank you so much for the food, it was delicious.” Chenle says, rubbing his full belly to emphasize. Your mother chuckles. “It was my pleasure, Chenle. You can come back anytime you want, you are always welcome here.” 

“I definitely will, ma’am.” He says with a lopsided smile before shaking your father’s hand firmly. You can already tell by the way your father affectionately claps his hand on his shoulder and smiles at him that he too has taken a liking to the boy, like your mother. 

“Y/N.” She says sternly, turning to you who currently battled to avoid Chenle’s eyes. You hum. “Be polite and walk Chenle to his car, please.” 

You grimace subtly, not wanting to be the awkward air that would come with being alone with him. You want desperately to say no, but the gaze your mother gives you tells you that would mean trouble for you. 

The basketball player notices your hesitation and looks down sadly at his sneakers, remaining that way as you lead him to the front door of your house. Its then that Chenle looks up to the view of the back of your head, his hand twitches in want to smoothen out the ahi at the back of your head for you. 

You catch Chenle mid dilemma as you turn to face him, gesturing towards the open door. His eyes shift from you to the door. And to his car, he thinks about the ride home and how once he gets home it will just be him and he’ll be alone. 

He doesn’t want to be alone. Strangely enough, he wants to be with you. 

“Chenle?” He hears your soft voice. Your eyebrows are furrowed as you watch him stand there, unmoving, with a look of confusion. He looks into your eyes and realizes you’re waiting for him to walk through the door first. He does so, head tilted down. You follow him out the door and close it behind you. 

You trail behind him until he reaches his car, however, instead of getting in like you expected him to, he turns abruptly to you. His eyes are glossy and startled at the sight of them. “Do you-“ He pauses, hesitating. “Do you wanna go for a drive?” 

“A drive?” You ask, watching him fiddle nervously with his keys. 

“Yes.” 

“Right now?” He nods firmly. 

“I don’t- I don’t think my parents will let me go out this late.” You say, wrapping your arms around yourself to combat the winter wind. Before saying in a quieter voice, remembering the events that took place earlier that day, “And I thought you wanted to be alone.” 

Chenle feels guilty upon hearing your words. Knowing you felt hurt by his words from earlier. He shakes his head, stepping closer to you. “No. I don’t. That’s the last thing I want right now.” 

You see something in his eyes that you had never seen before. Exhaustion mixed with sadness and worry. The usually mischievous happy go lucky look nowhere to be seen amongst all the turmoil you found looking at him. You immediately grew more concerned. “Chenle…” you say, he looks away momentarily. “I’ll- let me ask my parents.” 

-

Much like many times before, you’re sat in the passenger's side of his expensive car. The scene has become common, except the ambiance is different. Chenle doesn’t attempt to start conversation like he always does, instead, he just stares forward blankly. Occasional tears rolling down his pale cheeks which he wipes away as soon as they appear, you are itching to ask the boy what is going on in his pretty head but decide against it once you remember how that turned out earlier. So you keep silent as Chenle presses harder on the gas causing the streetlights of the empty highway to become a blur above you. It momentarily impressed you how fast his car could go, however, once you look over at the boy, you see his state. Chenle has strings of tears running down his face, snot dripping out of his nose and even his hair is sticking to his forehead due to his excessive sweating. 

“Chenle, maybe we should pull over.”

He doesn’t seem to hear you, only pushing further down on the accelerator. Fear and concern enters your bloodstream as you watch him become a version of himself you’ve never seen, a version you didn’t even think existed. You reach over took him and rest your shaky hand on his arm. Upon feeling your touch, his head snaps to you and he hits the brakes abruptly causing your entire body to jolt forward. “Woah!”

Chenle’s chest heaves as he sees how scared he has made you. “I’m- I’m sorry.”

“Pull over, Chenle.” You say sternly, pulling your hand away and instead of doing what he wanted to do which was pulling your hand back to him, he does as you told him and park his car on the side of the road. The two of you sit in silence for what feels like forever, until you hear a sniffle come from Chenle’s side of the car. Looking over, you notice how he is hunched over the steering wheel, crying.

“Chenle?” You use the softest voice you could muster. “Chenle, what’s wrong?”

Your immediate response is silence. He takes in short choked breaths, it seems like every breath he takes causes him to fall into a state of agony. 

“I think-” he said, voice quivering. “Y/N, I think I’m a bad person.”

The sentence confuses you. “Why would you think that?” 

“Because I did something terrible to someone I care about.” He answers, you note that he is not able to meet your eyes. It scares you. “What did you do?”  

“I can’t-” He says breathlessly, his hand fumbling to open his car door. Stumbling out, watch as he makes his way around the car, leaning against the cement railing with his head in his hands. 

You watch him in momentary shock before following him his actions and getting out of the car as well. You carefully approach him. “What is going on with you?” 

Chenle sighs, pulling his hands away from his face. “I had a fight with my mother this morning, and everything was just piling up and I guess that was just the last straw.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I just… everyone expects so much from me.�� He breathes. “My parents, my friends, my teachers, everyone at that damn school!” The railing in front of him takes the blows of his frustration. “And I don’t think i’m as good as they think i am, i'm not worth it.” He looks over at you and you immediately straighten at the sight of his red face. “Like you, Y/N. You’re so good to me, so nice and sweet. I don’t deserve it. Especially from you.” 

You don’t know what he means by that. Chenle knows you don’t know but he stays silent. You take this as your chance to speak. “I’m not only nice to you because I want to be. Because you’ve always been nice to me too, Chenle.” You dare to step closer, into his bubble. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, it would be impossible to meet everyone’s expectations so just be yourself… that’s enough for a lot of people.”

Chenle’s mouth speaks before he can stop it. “Is it enough for you?”

To forgive me? To still be the same after you realize what I’ve done. 

There is a silence that follows that one sentence, Chenle avoids your gaze nervously, he doesn’t realize that your silence is the product of your racing mind. The mind that is currently trying to find the words to describe what is happening in your heart. You ultimately decided that the best way to go is the truth. 

“You know… I kinda had a crush on you all throughout high school, which is kind of embarrassing but that’s not the point,” you start, “the point is that I had this perfect version of you in my head. Of what you would be like. And then when you came up to me that day… I didn’t know if I could talk to someone who wasn’t the Chenle I knew up here.” You take the liberty of poking a finger against your temple. “But I did anyway, and I realized you were nothing like the Chenle I saw in my head…”

Chenle chuckled sadly before commenting, “Ouch.” 

“You were better than him.” Chenle’s gaze snaps towards you in shock, you look forward. Too afraid to meet his gaze. “Nicer, funnier, and way more handsome than I thought up close.” You chuckle, having made the comment to help him feel better. “So yeah. I would say you are enough. More than, even.” 

“You really mean that?” 

For the first time you make eye contact, you furrow your eyebrows to try and make your sincerity as apparent as possible. “I do.”

He knows you do and that mends his heart as much as it breaks it into tiny pieces. He wants nothing more than to pull you towards him and smash his lips onto your own, but he also knows that it will only worsen the situation that is yet to come. Still his hands reach before he can stop them and reach to cup either side of your face. 

Your heartbeat is running at an unearthly speed, Chenle can hear it but knows his own is probably the same. Betraying his common sense, he leans into you until your lips are almost touching, the top brushing enough to have you wanting more. You think he’s going to kiss you and close your lips tightly. However, instead of his lips, you feel his hot breath when he utters the words: “I’m sorry.” Before removing his hands from your face and backing away. 

You can’t say the action didn’t cause a hurtful blow to your feelings but you also knew Chenle was in a tough place right now. You smile at him. “You don’t have to be sorry.” 

Chenle hates how you smile at him when he does things that hurt your feelings. He hates that you’re so considerate and nice to him despite what he is doing to you behind your back. He hates that you will find out one day and that you’ll hate him as much as he hates this. He hates that he doesn’t want to lose you, and that in the end he probably will. 

-

Friday is a holiday, so you don’t see Chenle the day after he took you on a late night drive with him. (You wrote another letter that night). In fact, you don’t hear from him until your phone chimes Saturday morning, Chenle’s name above a text message.

22 [9:15am]: hey

22 [9:15am]: I hope you’re good :)

22 [9:15am]: I just wanted to let you know there’s a party at my house tonight

22 [9:16am]: if you want

22 [9:18am]: actually, I really want you there so…

22 [9:20am]: please come.

You read the texts over a few times, it dawns upon you that you've never seen Chenle’s house. Sure, you’ve heard from classmates who had gone to his huge parties that it was extravagant as can be, resembling a hotel lobby rather than a house. The thought of being in his home made your hands sweat. Still, you remember how anxious you were to see him, especially after the other night, and you find yourself typing a reply of confirmation before tossing your phone to the side and walking to your closet to find something to wear for tonight. 

🏀

As soon as your parents drop you off in front of what was easily the biggest, brightest, classiest house you’ve ever seen in your entire life, you get the unnerving urge to go home. 

The abundance of people did nothing to help the creeping anxiety, the stares of some that briefly trained on you before whispering something to their friends. You couldn’t help but feel out of place. That is, until you see a familiar face. Jisung walks up to you with his hand wrapped around his girlfriend’s. “Hi!” He calle brightly as the girl waved friendly. 

“Hey guys!” You try to stabilize your voice. “How’s the party?” 

“Honestly… it kinda turned sour once some lower class men came and started to get wasted.” Jisung chuckled out, his girlfriend nods in agreement as she grips his arm affectionately. You smile when he looks over at her and smiles. There’s a part of you that feels envious of the relationship the two have but most of your thoughts surround how happy you are for the two. “We’re probably leaving soon anyway.” Jisung adds on. 

After getting over your monetary panic of having to be alone once again you nod your head, smiling at them. “Okay, I’m going to try to find Chenle.” They nod and bid their farewells, you sigh out loud as you walk through the crowd once again, searching for the blonde hair of the boy you so desperately need to calm right now. 

“I heard that she is the one Chenle left Ava for?” You hear someone say. 

“No way! Chenle wouldn’t stoop that low, plus I heard Ava broke up with him.” 

“Either way, I don’t understand why he would be hanging with her anyway, he probably feels sorry for her. What a loser.” 

It’s strange how you can hear their comments over the loud music that causes the walls to vibrate. You feel like vomiting as your insecurities take over and another sweaty presses against you. You push them away and run the rest of the way, not looking to find Chenle anymore just wanting to get out of here. You find what you hope is the bathroom and open the door, running inside and shoving the door closed, chest heaving.

“Y/N?” You hear from behind you, you turn around in shock and make eye contact with the red faced boy you spent your whole night looking for. “Chenle.” 

It’s then that you realize that he’s not alone. Across from him is an equally red faced Ava, eyebrows furrowed and lips turned down in a frown. 

It dawns upon you that you might have just interrupted something. 

You look between the two before averting your gaze back to the floor. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Hands grabbing the door handle and turning it quickly in a desperate attempt to flee the room. Completely deaf to the , “Wait!” That leaves Chenle’s mouth as you leave the room. 

Soon enough your back in the sea of sweaty drunks, trying to stabilize your voyage to the front door. To escape the stormy waters this night has caused your nerves. 

And you almost make it, had it not been for the harsh shove you received that sent you tumbling onto the floor. Suddenly, the people around you become giants and their huge feet stomp around you, threatening to squash you under their sneakers as if you were an irrelevant bug. 

Your shaky legs prevent you from standing up, and you only realize you’re crying when you feel a tear run down the side of your neck. No one seems to notice you’re there and you suddenly remember why being invisible sucks. 

It feels like ages have passed when you feel hands gripping your arms and lifting you onto your feet. Chenle’s voice sounds distance even if he’s barely an inch away from you. “Are you okay?” 

“I think-“ you say, shakily. “I think I’m having a panic attack.” 

Chenle takes your head and shoves it into his chest, making sure to keep a hand over your eyes as he leads you through the crowd. “It’s okay.” He whispers. “Everything is going to be okay.” 

He repeats the sentences over and over until you two reach a quieter place and you hear the door of a shutting door and the music becomes muffled. 

Chenle keeps a hand secured around your head as he holds you for a few more seconds before slowly letting you go. 

“I need you to breathe with me, okay?” He says. Before you can think, you nod. “In through your nose.” He demonstrated, you follow. “Out through your mouth.” 

You continue this until the beating of your heart has slowed down and you don’t feel like you're physically suffocating anymore. Instead, you feel tired. Chenle must have noticed because he ushers you to lay on the neatly made bed behind you, tucking you in before you had time to protest. 

🏀

It takes a whole ten minutes for either of you to speak, you half expected Chenle to leave after throwing this blue blanket over you, instead, he sits at the edge of the mattress and picks at his nails. Kind of like he wants to say something. 

“Thank you for helping me.” You speak first. “I don’t know what went wrong.” 

Chenle sighs, “I’m sorry for not finding you, I just- I was-“ 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain.” You interrupt, remembering where he was when you finally found him. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, still you know it’s not your place to question him. “I should get going, anyway.” You rush to slip on your shoes only to be stopped by Chenle. 

“No, it’s not what you thought it was.” He starts. You avert your gaze from him in fear of what he had to say. “Ava and I ran into each other earlier and she was just going off about how horrible I was in front of everyone. I think she was drunk, but she was causing a scene so I wanted to take her somewhere where it wouldn’t cause a commotion. I didn’t want to bring her in here so I just took her to the bathroom” He says, “We got into a bit of an argument, and that’s when you walked in.” 

“It’s-“ 

“She told me she wanted to get back together.” He blurts out, like he was getting something off his chest. 

“Oh.” Is your reply.

“Obviously I said no.” He says, almost expectedly. He doesn’t know that the knot that was tightening in your chest loosened a bit at his words. He watches you for a bit before speaking again. “What- what’s on your mind?” 

The question catches you off guard. You don’t really know what’s on your mind, the messy twister of thoughts going too fast for you to be able to reach in and grab a coherent thought. Only one thing pops up and you go with it. 

“Is this your room?” 

Chenle is silent for a second before he says. “Uh, yeah? Yes, it is.” 

You hum, laying on your back once again. It’s then that you notice the glow in the dark stars Chenle has stuck to the ceiling of his room, identical to the ones in your own. “You have stars on your ceiling.” 

He chuckles embarrassingly, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, I’ve lived here since I was a kid my grandad put them up there when I was young and I just never got around to taking them down.” 

“I have the same ones on mine.” 

“Really?” He asks. But he can’t help the shift his heart takes as he thinks of the two of you laying under the same glow in the dark stars every night. 

Before he knew it, he was walking towards the light switch and flicking it off. The lights shine to their full potential over you. It eases you a bit, until you feel the bed dip next to you and you smell his close proximity to you, feeling the warmth coming his shoulder where it touches your own as you lay side by side. 

The silence is comfortable this time. 

“Do you ever have panic attacks?” You ask suddenly. 

Chenle shakes his head but remembers you can see him, “No.” He whispers, as if someone would hear him. “But Jisung does sometimes, so I learned some techniques to be able to help him through it.” 

You smile into the darkness. “That’s nice of you.” You lower your voice to his whispering tone.

Suddenly words are absent and the two of you just stare at the stars to the ceiling. 

You know it’s weird, that after the other night, you are lying in Chenle’s bed beside him like nothing happened. Like you had always been there. You wondered whether you should be glad or scared that you feel that way.

Beside you, Chenle is having his own dilemma. On one part, he feels relieved that you’re safe now, that no one can hurt you now that you’re here with him. He feels comforted that you look so at home in his room, blending in so well it almost sends his head reeling. (Partially the reason he turned off the lights.) On another part, he feels so scared that he wants to think you blend in and that he wants to tell you everything in his head. That he wants to let you in, when he knows he shouldn’t. That he felt concern in his veins when he saw you in such a panicked state earlier, and all he wanted to do was tuck you into his chest and protect you forever. 

Why did he want to protect you forever? 

He turns on his side, you feel it. His breath fans on the side of your face. You turn to his darkness, staring to where you knew his face would be. 

“Can I tell you something?” He says, it’s too late to take it back now, since you nod. “The other night when I ate dinner at your house…” he starts, “I was in such a bad place, And I never thanked you for putting up with me and having me over for dinner, it made me feel so much better, you know before everything blew up in the car.” 

You furrow your eyebrows at his words. “That was actually my mom’s doing, but I will make sure to tell her you said so.” 

Chenle shakes his head, kissing his teeth. “No, that’s not it. It was because you were there, Y/N.” 

You hold your breath when he said that, not replying. Chenle takes his own in an attempt to calm his rapid heart. “Spending time with your family kinda made me feel like I was a part of something special.” He confesses. “Something you were a part of.”

An unsteady exhale tumbles from your lips, his statement doing a number on your heart. “What… what are you trying to say?”

This is it, Chenle. Tell her about the bet, confess what you did and fix everything before things get too serious and you break her heart. Tell her the truth! 

‘The truth’ Chenle thinks. ‘Okay.’

“I like you, Y/N.” You don’t see that he is squeezing his eyes shut even if the room is pitch black.

“What?” You say in disbelief, even if the butterflies have already started erupting in your stomach. 

“I like you.” He repeats. “So much.” 

You stare in his direction in a state of shock and happiness. Meanwhile, Chenle beats himself up in his mind, taking your silence as a bad sign. “It's okay if you don’t want to be a thing or anything, I just thought, you know, since I like you and you like me… Liked? Is that past tense?” 

Your head shakes and causes a ruffling noise against his pillow. “No, it’s very much present tense.” 

The warmth pressed against your shoulder disappears. And you hear Chenle’s footsteps throughout the room, suddenly the world turns bright and Chenle walks back to the bed. Now with the light on, he can see the blush on your cheeks and the small smile you wear. He smiles back at you, but he feels bad. So, so bad. 

So bad that leans down to lay over you, kissing your breath away. 

It's only after the momentary surprise that you begin to kiss him back.

His lips are rougher than you thought they would be, but still held some pillow like softness you expected. His hands hold your cheeks as he dips down further to bring his lips closer to yours. 

Now you totally understood why everyone was so crazy about kissing. It’s the best thing ever, and you never want it to end. However, breathing becomes an issue when you kiss someone, you learned. Chenle is the first to pull away, keeping his face a barely centimeters from your own, your breaths meet in the middle. 

When you finally open your eyes, you are met with Chenle’s worried ones already watching you. You immediately frown. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask. Are you a bad kisser? Does your breath smell? Does he regret it? His response is unlike those, shocking you when the words leave his mouth. 

“I don’t want to break your heart, Y/N.”  He looks away from you. His body is still positioned above you, the position being one that makes it hard to avoid your eyes (and one that is even suggestive).  Still he tries his best, that is, until he feels your soft hands cradling his cheeks just as he has been doing to your own just a few minutes ago. 

“Chenle, look at me.” You say, though your voice is wavering. He obliges. “Why are you worried about that?” 

“I just-” You can tell he would look away if you weren’t holding his head in place, he can’t hide his eyes now. “I’m just afraid I'll do something to hurt you and that you’ll hate me.” He says, which isn’t the whole truth but is also not a lie. 

“Why would I hate you? I could never.” Chenle wants to scoff sadly when you say that but you cut him off. “I’ll promise to not break your heart if you promise to not break mine.” You extend your pinky in between your faces. 

Chenle winces internally, feeling like he already broke your heart. And he is more scared now that it’s real. That you like each other and this probably makes you guys a thing, that he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings like he knows he will. But he also thinks about the fact that he has never felt this way with anyone else, that you were the first girl he ever felt comfortable enough with to let in his room, that you have glow in the dark stars like him and that it kind of feels like you’re split-aparts that have finally found each other. The longer he could keep you by his side, the better. 

That’s when he decides to let himself live in this world, at least while he can. He wraps his pinky around yours and lets your thumbs touch, sealing the deal.

He doesn’t have time to regret his decision because you lean up and catch his lips before he can think of anything but you.

🏀

Two weeks later, and most of your days have been spent much like this one. Chenle’s arms wrap protectively around your middle as you read the messages on your phone. One being a reminder from the president of the student council about the special dress code for Valentine’s Day. 

You turn in Chenle’s hold and meet his sleepy eyes, he smiles. “Did you see what the student council is doing?” 

“Mm?” He replies, you turn your phone to him. “A dress code?” 

“Yep, white for single, pink for complicated, and red for taken.” You say, bringing attention back to you phone. “I’m glad I look good in pink.” 

The statement confuses Chenle. “What do you mean pink? What is complicated?” 

You startle at the awareness and worry on his voice compared to the sleepy mumbles you were getting just moments ago. “Well… I mean, you never asked me to be your girlfriend.” 

Chenle freezes. You were right, he never did because part of the bet was to have a girlfriend by Valentines, it made him feel as though he wasn’t a complete asshole if he hadn’t completed the bet. “You’re right.” 

You watch him expectedly, but receive no response. Holding back a sigh, you bring your attention back down to your phone. 

“Are you upset with me?” His soft voice meets your ears. 

You shake your head. “Of course not, why would I be?” 

“It’s not fair to you that I keep you waiting.” None of what I’ve done to you is fair, he thinks. 

You reach up and stroke the hair that frames his face, smiling softly. “I’ll wait until you’re ready, Chenle. You know that.” 

It scares him how soft you are, how warm and safe he feels when he’s with you. That’s when he decides, it’s best if he waits out this week and lets himself live like this longer, even if it’s for a bit. 

“Kiss me.” He whispers. And you do. Pushing your chest flush against his, making sure every part of your body touches his own; remaining like that until you are sure you have blisters lining your lips from how much you’ve kissed him. 

The two of you end up hotly panting, you straddled over his lying figure. Chenle looks up at you from where he is before sitting up, suddenly, you feel the warmth of his hands tug at the edge of your shirt. His eyes ask for permission, which you reply to with a nod. 

You’re nervous. Very much so. You wonder if this will be the first time you have sex or if anything else will happen. 

Chenle lifts your shirt off your head and places it next to your body. “Is this okay?” He asks, his big innocent eyes looking up at you. 

“Yes.” Is the only answer you can formulate. 

The boy maintains eye contact with you as he says the following words. “Do you want to take off mine?” 

Your face flushed red, you can feel it. “I-if that’s okay with you.” His answer is in the form of his hands leading your own to the hem of his shirt, before letting go and putting his arms up. Your hands are shaking as you grab the clothing, slowly pulling it up, exposing his pale abdomen inch by beautiful inch. 

You smile at him as his head finally reappears from the whole in his shirt. “Hi.” You say, he smiles.

What he does next is something you didn’t expect from the lead up of events, unlike anything you’ve seen in erotic movie or read about in novels. 

He wraps his arms around your waist and pushes you down to lay next to him, he then pulls you towards him so that your the heat of your torso melts into his own. He shuffles until he is as close to you as he can get, only then is when stops moving. Resting his cheek against your own, you feel his breath on your ear. 

“I just want to be close to you, to hold you.” 

Just like that your heart is full to the brim once again. 

-

It’s the night before Valentine’s Day and Chenle is restless. He had decided tomorrow would be the day he would tell you everything. He would come clean and the two of you would start over (right?). He had practiced what he was going to say for hours earlier that night, wanting to have the perfect words so that his message got across to you. Still, even with all that practice, he knows there’s no guarantee that you won’t hate him. That you will swear him off and never speak to him again, when he has become so fond of you. The thought makes his hands ache and toes curl in an angsty feeling. 

After tossing and turning for nearly two hours, he finally gives up on sleeping and opts for looking at the stars stuck to his ceiling. He wonders if you’re awake right now. If you’re thinking about him while looking at your stars. He imagines your messy hair and pajamas and smiles softly to himself. “I miss her.” He says out loud, to the darkness of his room. 

Suddenly, everything happens in a flash as he throws his covers off himself and marches to the closet, pulling out his favorite red hoodie, grabbing the Valentine’s Day gift he had gotten you days ago then he’s in his car. Desperate to get where you are. 

-

It’s nearly 1am when you hear the knocking on your window. You had just begun to fall asleep when the noise startled you awake. 

Upon inspecting your window cautiously, you gasp when you see Chenle’s blonde hair. The window opens with a click. “Chenle! What are you doing here?” 

What is he doing here? “I just wanted to see you.” 

His words flutter your heart. “But it’s 1am, on a school night.” 

“I know that, I just…” he scratches the back of his neck because in reality he doesn’t know why the hell he even came here in the first place. “I had to give you something.” 

He extends the bag in his hand out to you. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” 

The bag contains two items, the first being the red hoodie you had seen Chenle wear many times before. His smell reeked off of it, causing you to nearly die of delight. “Wear this tomorrow.” He says. “Cause you’re mine.” 

You don’t know that his heart hurts for you, he pities you for being the one who causes him to lose all self control and make decisions that will hurt you in the long run. He feels so sorry that he couldn’t wait until tomorrow, that he just wanted you today, now. Before you get the chance to hate him. To run away. He wanted you to be his. 

You say nothing to him, only smiling bashfully as your cheeks matched the color of his clothing item. You look into the bag and see a black box that would be the second item. “What’s this?” You say to yourself, smiling up at Chenle. You open the box to reveal a beautiful necklace with a pretty pink diamond hanging off the end. You gasp. 

“Chenle, I can't accept that.” You say, closing it. You knew the necklace probably cost more than your house, you felt guilty taking it. 

“Please accept it. I bought it for you. I want to see it on you every day.” He seizes the opportunity to reassure himself. “And yes. It cost a lot, so that means we have to continue seeing each other, hm?” 

“Chenle…” you say. 

“Please.” He says in a way that makes you wonder if this is only about the necklace. 

“Okay.” 

You pivot and allow him to clip the chain, you turn to him and catch his reaction to the jewelry resting against your upper chest. “How do I look?”

Chenle’s eyes study the necklace before looking into your own. He smiles somewhat sadly as his arm reaches up to stroke your own. “You look beautiful.” He whispers. “Just like I knew you would.” 

You can’t put your finger on it, but something about his demeanor is unsettling. “Chenle, is something wrong?” You ask, to which he shakes his head weakly, but the sad look on his face tells you otherwise. You figure it had something to do with his family and refrain from asking. Instead you cup his cheek to provide him comfort, he leans into your touch and shits his eyes momentarily. “I love it. Thank you.” You say in a quiet voice. Chenle watches your features move into a soft smile before impulsively leaning forward to peck your lips. 

“I’m so happy.” To be with you, to be yours. “Let's be happy together for a long time, okay?”

You don’t say no.

-

The next morning you arrive before every other student to school. Chenle’s red sweater rests on your figure as you reach your locker and take out what had been heavy in your mind since last night. The letters. You were going to give them to Chenle and ask him to be your boyfriend. Sure, you were nervous to do so, but you knew Chenle was someone you wanted to have in your life for a long time. That's why you slip the envelopes decorated with his name one by one into the vent of his locker. 

You remember thinking this would be the beginning of something great. 

You were wrong.

🏀

There’s a pep in your step as you make your way through the halls after school clad in Chenle’s red hoodie, heart eyes searching for the boy. 

And for the first time in probably ever, you wished you wouldn’t have found him. You wished you didn’t have to see Chenle pressed up against his locker with his hands resting on Ava’s hips as she kisses him roughly. 

“Oh my god.” You say, voice small but enough to catch Chenle’s ear. The boy immediately pushes Ava away from him and turns to the sound of your voice with pleading eyes. 

“Y/N-“

“Look who showed up!” Ava interrupts, turning fully towards you. “I was wondering when you were going to come looking for him like you always do, I bet you’re glad it’s over, right Chenle?” 

The way the boy looks away from your eyes to shift his guilty gaze to the floor makes you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “Chenle what is she talking about?” 

When the boy remains silent, Ava’s high pitched voice answers for him. “Well, since he doesn’t seem very talkative right now, I’ll just tell you myself.” She clears her throat, as if setting the scene, your hands are starting to ache. “A month ago, our darling Chenle made a bet with his friends after our break up, you know as boys do, they said he couldn’t get another girlfriend before Valentine’s Day. Obviously, Chenle’s competitive self took that as a challenge and it’s obvious that you had been in love with him for like ever so you were the easiest target.” 

The way the world stops spinning isn’t like it’s described in all the romance novels you read, it’s not the good kind that makes you feel like you're floating that nothing could stop you, it’s the kind that weighs you down and makes you feel dizzy, causing you to stumble. This is what you feel when you ask: “Chenle… is this true?” And the boy just stares at you, for a second before looking away once again. 

“Of course, it’s true. He was even showing me the pathetic love letters you wrote to him.” She motions to the stack of letters in Chenle’s hands. You gasp, feeling like every last bit of you was torn apart. The thought of them reading the deepest tellings of your heart and laughing at it, all when you wholeheartedly believed that the boy you spoke about in the letters was finally all yours.

When he wasn’t. He was never yours. But he wanted you to think that. 

“Oh my god,” you run to him and attempt to rip the letters out of his hands only for him to hold on tighter. “Let go, Chenle.” 

“Y/N, please-“ 

You can’t help the sob that creeps up your throat as your attempt weakly to shake your heart out of his hands. “Please, let go.” 

Chenle watches you cry before him and feels like that the act of ripping his actual heart out of his chest would hurt less than this. 

You take this moment of weakness and rip the letters out of his grasp, before running down the hall. 

-

It’s only when you feel a hand grasp your shoulder and spin you around that you realize that Chenle has followed you all the way out to the parking lot. 

Seeing him caused every bone in your body to ache, and the contractions in your heart were hard to ignore. “Wait, okay? I need to explain somethings to you.” 

“I don’t want to hear your explanations! I just want to go home.” You realize that you probably sound like a bratty child but you couldn’t care less. 

Chenle nods, “Okay, then let’s go.” 

“Not with you.” 

Chenle can't help the dagger that the sentence shoots into his heart. “Then I’ll say what I need to say right here!” He exclaims, trying to mask his pain with anger. “It’s true that I made a bet with my friends to date you the day I first drove you home, and it’s really shitty of me, I know. But I had just broken up with Ava and everything was so messy and I just wanted to make her feel bad so I said yes. “ He pauses, “I said yes and so I went to you since I knew you liked me-“

“Jesus,” you wince, embarrassment creeping up your throat and clogging it up. Your eyes water as you think of how truly fucked up the situation is. 

That day, one month ago, you were right to question Chenle’s intentions. No, he didn’t admire you or see you the way you saw him, you were just easy bait. And everything has been a lie. “I can’t- I can’t do this.”

Chenle tries to stop the tears of guilt that threatened to leak from the corners of his eyes. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” 

“No you’re not.” Your bitter words are a shock to Chenle, he had never heard you use that tone with him (or with anyone) before. “You’re not fucking sorry.” Tears of humiliation and frustration run down your face and Chenle wants desperately to cradle your cheeks in his hands, but thinks he might never be able to after this. “It might not have been a big deal to you Chenle, but you were my first kiss, you were the first guy who ever took me on dates and drove me around in his car, you. And I thought you were the first boy who ever liked me.” The smell of him you once loved reeks of the hoodie covering your body, however, instead of feeling welcomed and happy you feel like it’s creeping up the sides of your neck and suffocating you to no end. You groan as you grab the hem of the article and rip it off your body, leaving you in a flimsy t-shirt to combat the winter cold. 

Chenle sighs, “I know you’re mad at me but you’re going to get sick if you walk home like that. It’s cold.”

You scoff in response, “Lucky for you then, because you don’t need to worry about me anymore.” In a quieter voice you say. “I was probably just a burden to you this whole time.” 

The boy immediately opposes the statement, “You were never a burden, I liked hanging out with you. I care about you.” 

“Only because it helped you win that stupid bet, and to make your ex jealous!” You exclaim, finally looking into his sorry eyes. He looks tired, you almost falter in your stance before putting up the wall separating you two that had always been there before the day he drove you home. 

You wished he had never approached you, because the Chenle in your dreams would never do this to you. 

It’s in that moment that you feel the weight of the dove on your neck, your finger move to unhinge it as you place it on top of the hoodie resting against his chest. You watch his jaw tense as he looks at you. You make eye contact one last time with the blonde haired boy in front of you, Before sadly turning away. 

“Y/n please,” it’s the weakest you’ve ever heard his usually booming voice. “Don’t leave me like this. What about our promise, huh? You’re breaking my heart right now.” Chenle knows the attempt to get you to stay is pathetic and desperate but he’s at a loss of what to do. 

Angrily, you spit. “You broke my heart the moment you approached me that day so I guess that promise was made to be broken wasn’t it?” 

Chenle watches you walk away with your arms wrapped tightly around your shaking body. He sees as you walk past a trash can and dump all your letters into it, wiping your tears and starting your journey to the bus stop. 

And he would never share this with you, walks up the trash can with tears in his eyes and reaches into the garbage, picking out every letter in there. He figures it’s the only piece of your heart he can manage to save for himself. It’s proof that the hate you now hold in your heart for him was once love. 

Even if he ruined everything. 

-

You never knew they called it heartbreak because your chest physically hurts this much. At times you feel like throwing up, at others you want to throw all your belongings across your room. The pain was almost unbearable at the beginning, embarrassing and hot flashes of anger running through you constantly as you think back to that moment.

You don’t go to school that Monday, telling your mom you were feeling sick. Which isn’t entirely a lie, especially when you see Chenle’s car pull up outside your house that morning. You feel like throwing up again. You’re angry at him. So so angry that he thinks things will be the same after what he did. That he thinks he can pull up at your house and drive you around after completely breaking your heart. 

You pull the blinds down as your mom comes through your door. “Honey, Chenle is here.”

“Tell him to leave.” You seeth, tears running down your face. You wipe them away frustratedly. “Tell him to never come back here, Mom.”

Your mother watches with sad, sympathetic eyes. Before nodding solemnly and closing the door on her way out. 

Due to a strange urge, you peek through the blinds and wait to see him walk out your driveway. He does, dragging his feet. Much to your dismay, he stops suddenly and turns to face your window. You immediately step away in the darkness of your room, away from the light and Chenle’s eyes. 

-

Three weeks pass, things at school remain the same for the most part. You hang out with Donghyuck like you used to. You try your best to not look over at the athletes table even when you feel Chenle’s eyes on you. However, somethings do change, you no longer spend your class time daydreaming about a certain blonde boy, or writing love letters on the back pages of your notebook about how pretty his eyes look when they catch the light. Instead, you stare out the window of your classrooms, wanting nothing more than to be in your room away from everyone once again. You sigh and look away from the window momentarily before looking up again. You startle as you see Chenle on the other side of the glass. Watching you with eyes that looked like they had a lot to say. You shudder  when you take in the bag under his eyes and exhaustion written all over his face. You want to believe it’s because of you, you hope it is. You hope he can’t sleep at night thinking of you. Nevertheless, you remember what happened on Valentine’s Day and realize you were probably too insignificant to him to have caused him to be this way. 

He softly smiles at you, bringing his hesitant hands up to wave at you, only for you to avert your eyes away from him and to the teacher at the front of the room. 

Chenle looks down dejectedly before continuing his walk, meanwhile you sit at your desk, wanting to escape more than ever. 

-

Three days later, your mother informs you that you have a visitor. “Tell him I don’t want to see him.” 

“It’s not Chenle.” She says before confusedly adding: “He said his name is Jisung.” 

Jisung? What the hell is he doing here? “I’ll be down in a minute.” 

When you finally get down stairs Jisung smiles awkwardly at you before gesturing towards the door. “Do you like milkshakes?” 

-

“What is this about?” 

The words that say heavy on your tongue the whole car ride here finally leave you as you sit across Jisung at Billy’s. He sips his milkshake before clearing his throat to speak. “How have you been?” 

You’ve been really shitty. “I’ve been fine, I guess.”

Jisung hums, rubbing his hand together before sighing. “I guess we should just get straight to the point, then.” He pauses, “Have you spoken to Chenle recently?”

While you figured this meeting had something with Chenle, you still sit up straighter when you hear his name. You clear your throat as if this is a kind of declaration. “No. I haven’t spoken to him since Valentine’s day.” You don’t want to ask about him, so you try the next best thing. “Why- why do you ask?” 

“I haven’t seen him since last week.” Jisung says, something in your stomach doesn’t sit right. “He’s been missing practice, which he never did, and he’s not answering any of my messages or calls. And the pre-final game is tomorrow and no one has heard from him.” 

His words are bazar. Basketball is unarguably the most important thing in Chenle’s life, why would he risk this chance of winning the championship like this? “He hasn’t spoken to me either, sorry.” You say, but your mind is fogged with worry as to where the boy could be. Jisung remains silent for some time before he clicks his tongue. 

“I know what happened between you two.” You avoid his gaze and feel blood rush to your cheeks. “And I think you’re right for not talking to him after that.” 

How could he say that about his best friend? Still, you nod. “But I think you only know a part of what’s really going on here.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, yeah. The whole thing started as a bet, but after a few weeks Chenle told me that something changed. He said he didn’t want to do the bet anymore, that he felt guilty for using you like that because he ended up really really liking you Y/N and I’m not just saying this because he is my best friend or anything but I think when the time is right, you should give him a chance.”

You finally look up at him and realize upon feeling a tear trail down your face that you were crying. You wipe it away quickly and sigh. “I don’t know, Jisung. He really hurt me, I was so embarrassed I felt like I could die.” 

“Sometimes we make stupid decisions.” The ‘we’ reminds you of the story of Jisung and his girlfriend’s love story that Chenle animatedly told you about one night you stayed at his house. You remember wondering how someone as sweet as Jisung could do any of those things, and how his girlfriend could forgive him for any of it.However, you knew the love they had for each other in their hearts was more than the anger due to his actions. You wonder if the attachment you have for Chenle would ever be enough. 

Jisung reads your mind. “I think he loves you.”

Your eyes become wide as planets before you scoff in disbelief. “Don’t say that.” You say, weak hearted.

“He does! While you two were still a thing he wouldn’t stop talking about how cute you were, how good you are at basketball and how you have the same glow in the dark stars on your ceiling that he does.” 

What? You didn’t think cared enough to talk about you or to remember those details. “He told you that?” 

Jisung nods, “And a lot of other things, but I don’t think we’ll have the time.” 

“He… he never told me he loved me.” You thought Chenle had just come into your life as a lesson to always be on your guard, to never let anyone in and protect yourself above others. But now… you wonder if you meant more to Chenle than you thought.

“Take it from me,” Jisung says, “sometimes those 8 letters can be the hardest to say.” 

🏀

Once you’ve parted ways with Jisung, (who offered to drive you home to which you politely declined to, telling him the walk home would give you time to think) you make your way home on your dirty sneakers and think about what Jisung said. 

It’s hard to believe that Chenle would actually say those things about you, while knowing he was playing you. You wondered if it really did change for him like Jisung said, and if he really felt sorry like he was telling you that day in the parking lot. 

You’re so lost in thought that you don’t realize the familiar car parked in front of your house until you hear the voice your heart has been longing to hear for weeks now. “Is Y/N home?” 

You bolt to the nearest bush and duck behind it, close enough to hear their words but far enough that Chenle and your conflicted mother are unaware of your presence. “Oh, I’m sorry sweetie she went out a few hours ago.” 

“Oh.” You flinch when you hear the disappointment in his voice. “Can you tell her I stopped by?” And that I miss her, he wants to say but you don’t know that. “And please give this to her too if it’s not too much trouble.” You hear shuffling as Chenle hands whatever it is he wanted to give you to your mom. 

“I will, sweetie.” Your mom says. “And Chenle?” There's a pause in which he hums. “Get some sleep, honey.”

You can imagine that Chenle throws her his signature polite smile, “I will try, Ma’am.” 

It’s not longer after that you hear his sneakers against the steps of your porch and see him get into his car. You have a perfect view of him from where you are. Watching as he frustratedly runs his hands through his hair and throws his head back against the seat. You don’t know why you feel sorry for him. You know you should be angry but after what Jisung told you, you need to stop yourself from going to him. 

-

You contemplate if even looking inside the bag is a decision. 

It sits in front of you neatly on your bed where you had placed it after your mother handed it to you with a worried: “He looks so tired, Y/N.” Which caused hurt to arise in your heart. 

The bag is a bright red one, the type that usually is full of candies and sweets, maybe flowers. You want to know what is inside manically, but you're afraid about what this would mean for your relationship (if you could even call it that) with Chenle. Is this his final goodbye or is this him trying to get you back?

You had to know.

Upon opening it, you are shocked to see a pale yellow envelope with your name written in Chenle’s messy handwriting on top. You grab it with shaky hands, the texture is different somehow, because for the first time ever, this letter was meant for you.  

Inside, there is a loose leaf paper much like the ones you had sent to him neatly folded. Your heart beats in your ear as you finally see the first words, you breathe in deeply and read away.

“Y/N, 

       I thought for a long time about what I would say to you in this letter, I’ve been sitting on it for three weeks trying to find the right things to say that would convince you to forgive me before I realized that they all sounded tacky and cliche when I read them back. So, i’ve decided to just go with the truth. It’s true that at first I wasn't honest with you, that I only approached you to complete a dare my friends had given me that day and I won’t make any excuses because I was such a huge asshole to you. I was just so hurt that day because of Ava and I wanted to make her feel like shit so bad, I wanted to hurt her like she had hurt me and I used you to do so, Y/N. But after I approached you and started spending time with you,I started thinking back to all the times I would look at you when the sun came in through the window in the English classroom before I had even spoken a word to you. I bet you didn’t know I did that, did you?” 

You didn’t, the you at that time would’ve freaked out if she knew though.

“I remember thinking you were so pretty, that you were untouchable to me so i just never tried. But something changed when i got to know you, i realized that you were the coolest person i’ve ever met, that you were real and that you were there with me whenever i needed someone. No one has ever made me feel so safe and comforted. I became selfish with you because I never wanted it to end. I didn’t want to tell you because i was scared you would hate me do you hate me? The night before valentines i went to your house because i planned on telling you everything the next day, i wanted to see your happy eyes just once more just in case i ruined everything. On Valentine’s day, when i got to school and read your letters. You wouldn’t believe how happy I was to read all the wonderful things you said about me. I was so happy that you held me as close to your heart as I held you to my own. I was going to tell you everything after that, i was going to confess and tell you that i couldn’t go another day with this secret. I was going to tell you how i felt but Ava stopped me, she told me she knew about the bet and then she kissed me and that's when you showed up. I’m so sorry you had to see that, I’m so that i used you like that. I’m sorry that I took advantage of you but I want you to know that I meant everything I told you, I loved spending time with you, and being with your family made me feel so special. I remember thinking we were split aparts and i know that sounds stupid but i really want you to know that i meant it. And every kiss we shared and every time I held you I felt it and I really really really mean it when i say that i loved you. I loved you so much that I didn't ever want to lose you.”

The past tense makes your chest tighten.

“I won’t tell you to forgive me, but your spot on the bleachers looks so empty without you. The pre finals are tomorrow and i would love it if you came, to cheer me on like you used to. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to but I wanted to give you something that would portray how serious I am about this. That if you are willing to come cheer me on with a part of me with you.”

This when you reach into the bag and pull out the item that once laid underneath your letter. The 22 of Chenle’s basketball jersey stares back at you, you gasp as you hold the fabric in your fingers. You had watched him run around the court with this very jersey plenty times before, you knew how much being number 22 meant to him. You were grateful he would trust you so important to him, you really wanted to grab his face and tell him that. Instead, you finish reading the letter. 

“You make me feel brave. And I will forever be sorry for what I did to you, but I mean it when I say I loved you I still love you. 

Please come.                                                         - Zhong Chenle.”

He loves you! Present tense. You could almost jump from joy. You want to see him, tell him you love him too. A million times if you can. You want to say that you forgive him for everything, that you have felt incomplete without him these past few weeks and the Chenle you made up in your mind was too perfect anyway. 

-

Chenle sighs for the upteenth time the next afternoon as he stretches along with his teammates. He tries his best to take his mind off of you for the time being, at least until after the game is over, he needed to focus but he found it very hard when he began to wonder what was going through your head when you read his letter, and if you were coming today.

He startles when he feels a hand on his shoulder. Hopeful, he turns. His hopefulness fades away when he sees Jisung standing before him. 

“Damn don’t look too sad to see me.” He jokes. Chenle shakes his head

“It’s not that…” Chenle explains, biting his lip nervously and subconsciously looks toward the bleakers where your empty seat was. Jisung gets the hint. 

“Chenle,” he says. “It's okay, she’ll come.” 

Chenle wants to ask him how he is so sure, that if he were you, he would hate himself too. Instead, he nods at him and readjusts the waistband of his shorts on his hips as the coach calls for the team to step out onto the court. 

People immediately start cheering for the players as they come into the view, girls go crazy in the stands and the members’ friends and families cheere enthusiastically from the side lines. The players smile and wave at their ‘fans’ doing a lap around the court to warm up and high five audience members. 

Chenle can only bring himself to smile half heartedly and wave weakly due to the fact that your spot on the bleachers still remains empty. 

He sighs out again, puffing his cheeks as the referee finally calls for the first round. That’s when his adrenaline starts pumping and he feels a bit better. 

The game goes on. 

-

Chenle’s jersey is only a bit big on you, almost fitting like something that would be your size, still, you try to pull it down over your hips in a nervous habit. You finally made it to the game, having fun late due to traffic. The spot you usually sit in is occupied by a woman holding a baby, so you decide to stay and watch from the sidelines, standing. 

The first time you see him, he is running across the court so fast he becomes a blur. You only know it’s him because of the head of blonde hair you see in the blurry image. He looks breathtaking as always, his hair being pushed away from his face by a sweat band being an addition to his look you wouldn’t mind seeing again. 

His sneakers squeak against the floor as he gets in position to shoot. You cross your fingers, but something is off. His eyebrows are furrowed in something that doesn’t look like concentration, but more like worry. His legs give him the impulse to jump up and soon enough his arms are shooting the ball towards the basket. You watch in disappointment as it hits against the rim and bounces back at him, he catches it with a frustrated click of his teeth. 

The audience has already begun whispering, having never seen the star player miss a shot. 

One of his teammates comes up to give him a fist bump of comfort, Chenle accepts it but still holds a troubled look on his face. The thought crosses your mind that it might  be because of you, it troubles the organ in your chest as much as it warms it. You notice he keeps glancing at a certain part of the bleachers, this is when you know he meant everything and that he surely is waiting for you. 

“Chenle!” You yell, trying to get his attention.

The boy doesn’t look your way, your voice getting lost in constant shouts and chatter from the people in the crowd. You try again, louder this time. Nothing. 

You groan frustratedly, the boy continues the game the best he can, but he’s out of it. You hate to see him like this, a deep hurt in your chest rising up. You cheer for him as loud as you can, deciding it would be better to wait until after the game to see him. 

As the game is coming to an end, Chenle appears to grow more and more tired and absent. Nevertheless, his team scores the winning point and the audience goes wild, including you. Chenle smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. 

 You can’t wait to hold him and tell him you forgive him for everything and that everything is going to be okay, and be with him for real this time. To have him be yours and be best friends against, go on nightly drives and have impromptu dance parties, to lay on his bed and count the plastic stars on his ceiling, to kiss him and be close to him. 

And for it to be real.

🏀

Chenle can’t help but feel dejected when your seat was never taken by you. He should’ve known this would happen, that is true but there was a fraction of him that thought you would read his letter and realize how sincere he was, he thought there was a part of you that knew it had been real and there was no way everything he said could've been made up. But he was wrong, and now as he packs his gym bag to go home, he faces the consequences of his high hopes. 

He’s mad, practically throwing his belongings in his bag, he almost throws his phone in the trash can next to him when he hears the ringtone go off. Chenle answers it with an irritated, “What?”

“Hey.” He recognizes your voice that same instant, still he pulls his phone back and makes sure its your caller ID before speaking again. 

“Y/N? Oh my god, hi!” He clears his throat  before repeating himself. “I mean, hi, hey.”

You hold back a laugh, noting his nervousness. “I’m sorry for calling so suddenly.” You decide to tease him, although, unbeknownst to him, you wear standing about 20 feet behind him after finally finding him in the now that the crowd of people has dispersed after the game. 

“No, don’t worry about it. I was actually…” Chenle flicks the zipper of his bag with his nervous fingers, “I was waiting to hear from you.” 

“Were you?” 

“Yeah, I wanted a chance to talk things out with you and uhh… i'm sorry if me asking you to come out to the game was too much or if it made you uncomfortable I didn’t-“

“Chenle.” Your voice cuts his rant short. You internally marvel at the fact that you aren’t the one caught in a nervous ramble for once. “It didn’t make me uncomfortable. I’m here.” 

“You’re here?” Someone clicks in his mind as he frantically looks around him in an effort to find you. When he does, his eyes turn soft and a smile takes over his face. “You came.” 

You nod at him, feeling a bit overwhelmed when you finally make eye contact with him. There are people between you too, Chenle begins to close it as he walks forward. “I did. I just wanted to tell you that I missed you.” 

“I missed you more, I swear on it.” He replies.

Your eyes burn, you wipe them and lighten the mood. “And that Curry would be sad to see you so out of it at a game.” You click your teeth jokingly. “What do you think he would say if he saw you like that cause of a girl?” 

He laughs, “I think he would understand, after I tell him how amazing you are.” 

You blush. “I also wanted to tell you that your jersey smells like you, and I like it.” This makes him beam, speeding up his footsteps that carry him to you. 

“Is that it?” He asks, jokingly. 

“And that I love you, Zhong Chenle. Not the Zhong Chenle that I had a crush on for 3 years and not Number 22 but you. The rawest versions of you. I love all of it and that i forgive you for everything.” He slows his pace in shock, his chest heaving. 

“You mean that?” His voice is wavering and you can see the flush on his cheeks from how close he has gotten. Suddenly, he is taking big steps until he is directly in front of you. He puts his phone down and his pretty eyes look directly into your own. 

Chenle’s face is hopeful, happy and lovestruck. He whispers: “You love me?”

You can only nod, overwhelmed. Chenle smiles wide, you can almost see his molars and his eyes disappear. “Say it.” He says, in a wondrous tone. 

“I love you, Zhong Chenle.” 

“Oh my god, yes!” 

And he’s kissing you, arms wrapping around you and pressing your body against his, his finger grip at the jersey on your body and he moves his lips against yours. Every memory that you have ever shared, every kiss, every touch, and every laughing fit come to your mind. It’s all you can think about as you think about this boy. You don’t think about the bad part, because that doesn’t matter anymore now that Chenle is yours and you are never letting go.

-

4 months later; Graduation 

“Chenle! Come on!” Jisung yells as he sees the boys floppy newly dyed orange hair amongst the crowd of people. 

You were all posed for a picture, blue cap and gowns adorning your bodies and your parents huddle you together for a picture. “I’m coming!”

Your boyfriend appears from the crowd with his cap in his hand along with a giant bouquet of flowers. He walks directly to you, extending it with a smile. “For you.” 

Your friends start squealing, playful hitting you and Chenle and your parents smirk at each other at the portrayal of young love before them. You cover your face with your hands to hide your blush. Chenle laughs and hugs you to his side. 

“Y/N! Chenle! Pose for the picture!” 

The two of you run to where your other friends are posing, haphazardly getting into the frame and posing crazily. 

The air is full of laughter and youth as the sun begins to set on your time in high school. For a moment, you’re too busy basking in the presence of the relationships you have developed while in there that you forget you won’t be seeing these people every day like you had been for so many years. Or that your lives might take completely different courses and things won’t be the same after this. Instead you allow yourself to enjoy this moment. 

🏀

You do think about it when you are on your way home though, in the passenger’s seat of Chenle’s car. His hand holds yours over the gear and he smiles to himself while humming along to the songs on the radio, unaware of the internal conflict going on in your head. 

It wasn’t until he parks outside your house that he realizes that something is wrong. 

“What is going to happen to us now?” Is your reply to his questioning. Chenle’s eyebrows furrow.

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean-“ you collect your thoughts, “high school is over, and we’re going to go to college and we will be so busy and what if-“ 

“Whatever you think will happen, won’t happen.” 

You look at him, offended that he could dismiss your worries so easily. “You don’t un-“ 

“I do understand. You’re worried that now that we won’t see each other every day that we’re going to drift apart, right? And that we won’t be together, am I right?” 

You nod silently. 

“Y/N, how many times am I going to tell you that I’m crazy in love with you? I won’t let you slip out of my hands, baby. Not again.” Chenle says firmly, sincerely. His eyes widen so you can see right through him and know he is telling the truth. 

His pale hands come up to cup the sides of your face, making you face him. Your tear filled eyes meet his own. He brushes away your tear that rolls down your cheek. “I’m sorry, I was just overthinking.” You say.

“Don’t be sorry.” Chenle shakes his head, leaning forward to kiss your cheek lovingly, letting it linger for a few seconds before pulling back. Smiling upon seeing your smiling face. 

It happens in a flash, now that the moment was right. Chenle gasps, starling you. “What?! What’s wrong?!”

“I love this song!” And he’s turning it up all the way on the car radio, rolling down the windows and stepping out. “Come on, Y/N!” 

You don’t let him see the pure happiness on your face that you wanted to mask with annoyance. Chenle dances on the sidewalk crazily and you laugh in the passenger’s seat. You decide it was best to not let your boyfriend embarrass himself alone, wiping the excess of your tears and step out of the car. “M’lady has arrived to the dance party!” He exclaims. 

And as you start dancing wildly together, the sun begins to set causing a golden hue to fall over your features. Anyone watching the scene could either think that you’re crazy or they will see what is really there: split aparts that have finally found one another. 

Chenle thinks so too, he stops dancing for a bit to catch his breath and just watches you. He remembers the pain it took to make you his, how much you both cried and the beginning of the relationship was far from ideal. But there is no doubt in his mind that there are not enough glow in the dark ceiling stars in this world that will amount to the love he harbors for you in his chest. He was so happy that he had met his split apart, he couldn’t thank the universe enough. 

This when he reaches forward and spins you around to face him. His chest against your own, you feel the rumble of his words from his chest when he says: “I’m so glad I found you.” And then he is kissing you, and the ground seems to melt away from your feet. You’re floating hundreds of feet in air and forget to take a view of your neighborhood from up here because Chenle is all you can think about. Because he makes you feel this way. You whisper in between kisses, he smiles knowingly, he feels it too. 

“We. 

Are.

Off.

Our.

Feet.”

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Seeing hand-written Supercorp fanfiction has transported me back to 10th grade when I had notebooks I would write snippets of FF in when I was supposed to be taking notes in class, which continued throughout college, and now I miss frantically scribbling ideas down on paper rather than opening the Notes app, although on the other hand there was a very unfortunate incident when I temporarily lost my FF notebook and was terrified someone would find it - so I don't miss that about paper LOL

Fun fact the reason I started writing in cursive is so that it would be harder for people to look over my shoulder in class and read what I was writing-- which at the time was some copious NCIS fanfic. That shit saved my life in college, ngl.

Now I do it because it forces me to slow down and think about what I'm doing. I like the feel of it, and having to eventually type it up adds another step in the revision process that allows me to build a fic out further.

So basically most of my "real" fics (as opposed to the snippets I most often post here) are actually written out long hand first. And it's been a while (like, a year) since I last did a good longhand fic, so I am on cloud nine right now.