#Coral island karen

[coral-island-player]

Coral Island dlc idea - Pufferfish/evil route

I have an idea for a future update or dlc - one when you can join Pufferfish. Now, I know that what they're doing is evil, but I think if handled correctly, it would be a good addition. Long post, because apparently I can't make short posts like, ever. Also I think if it was a dlc, part of the benefits could go to charity? To show that while you can do evil things there, the devs don't think it's good.

Now, I think with the way the game currently is, you don't have a choice - your character has to be good. Which is great but I don't feel very satisfied with it. Of course my characters are doing good things, they don't have a choice. It'd feel better if I had the choice, you know?

So, in how I imagine it, after the initial cutscenes of Karen arriving at Coral Island and Mayor Connor explaining the situation to you, the next day you encounter Karen. She asks you to join Pufferfish and help them take over the island - I mean, help save it.

If you decline, the game progresses as usual. Only then you get the mysterious dream, the museum opens to you and Ling asks you for help. The only thing that changes is that when you talk to Karen, instead of (very poorly) trying to convince you to join them, she's a bit passive aggressive and upset with you for not joining her side. Maybe slight changes happen, like Karen and Raina having schedules and some more events. Possibly a bit more features, to make the dlc worth it for people who aren't interested in joining Pufferfish. That is, if it's a dlc and not an update.

If you do join her, that's when some things happen. You get some benefits - perhaps you get some funds from Pufferfish? Cheaper things, maybe some free sprinklers once in a while? I don't know what it might be, but basically it's technically easier for you, if you look at it from the benefit point of view. Much easier.

You pay to unlock higher town ranks and benefits you'd get for completing bundles, but as you pay, Karen's plans she tells to the townsfolk are more and more fulfilled. There are more and more oil rigs around the island. You never get the dream, Ling never asks you for help, you don't even get the chance to see the museum because it's immediately turned into the storage. The ocean only gets more polluted, though you get free kelp from the Pufferfish. Who knows what happens to the merfolk? You wouldn't know they exist, same with Giants. You can mine, but you can't free the Giants. The sacred trees get cut down. Maybe the temple gets cleaned and turned into a tourist spot. It's made very clear by the game that you made the morally wrong and selfish choice. And you miss out on so many parts of the gameplay! Maybe instead of enchantments, you get "tech upgrades" from Pufferfish (of course you pay money instead of gems and fossils).

And the townsfolk aren't thrilled by your actions, either. Word spreads fast that you're the one who sponsors Pufferfish and many hold it against you. It requires more points for you to make friends with the characters. The degree of the debuff might vary with some characters, Ling and Surya for example would resent you more than let's say, Mark or Chaem that were never that against Pufferfish to begin with. Some characters might even outright refuse to date you ("I'm sorry, *player name*. But I simply can't date someone who endorses Pufferfish. I hope you understand." Maybe that could be Scott, Surya, maybe Millie? I don't know how many, but some would). In some dialogue they mention how the changes affect them. Everyone's life is generally worse, except for yours which is actively better. Maybe some characters move out, like Ling, Surya, Scott...

Perhaps there are some slight changes on festivals, meaning Tree Planting and Beach Cleanup festivals ("I'm surprised YOU'RE here, *player name*. Last time I checked, you didn't care about the environment did you?").

You never get to meet and befriend the merfolk, obviously. Instead, you can befriend and romance Karen, Raina and Derek (yep, he's romanceable there. Sounds a bit more appealing now doesn't it?). You get heart events, and they're generally likeable characters, and in this path easiest to befriend. Even Karen has a soft side for you and genuinely cares about you, even if she is kinda evil. So are you in this path, though... While Raina and Derek are generally good people, just a bit misguided (possibly also romanceable after reaching town rank A in the good path? So really this path is only necessary if you wanna date Karen or want to speedrun it).

Maybe you do a little good though, like convincing Karen to make the work conditions at Pufferfish a bit better. Or pay to get the amount of trash in water reduced (you don't care about pollution. You just don't like it when you're trying to fish and there are flyers all over the water). But the bad you did still outweighs the good.

So, your life is better. Farming is easier, but everything that makes the island and the game what is is, is gone or destroyed. You feel guilty every time you pass by the place when the trees once were, the temple, or see the oil rigs, or when one of the townsfolk makes another passive aggressive comment to you, or just won't go up that one another heart. It's quite depressing, really. Was it really worth it? It makes the good path more satisfying in contrast, though. Knowing you could do the wrong thing, but didn't.

Maybe I made the consequences too severe, or too light. It is a bit depressing. Feel free to tell me what you think.

[novalin]

Playing the Coral Island Beta. After Pufferfish Frank Said "I can't believe she mentioned dad Like that." What does He mean? She called him Red shirt. I thought that Had Something to do with Star Trek. That's Like the only Thing I can Connect with Red Shirts... And Well Frank wears a Red shirt. But what does He mean? Or was it Something Betty Said? I know their dad died but I don't know when and how. Apparently it Had to do with the oil spill?

[olessan]

The Coral Island devs have a mission and they're sticking to it

[incorrectcoralislandquotes]

Karen: so... You've finally arrived... (Sees the farmer in a hilariously mismatched outfit) what the hell is that???

Farmer: iTs mY AsS KIcKiNg OutfIT BITCH!!!!

[ayotamacheck]

I know CI is going to add more RO (as if we weren’t already so well fed), but I’m currently guessing two of them will be related to pufferfish co. I believe both Derek and Raina will be added, as the developers wanted to wait and see how people reacted to them. To me, it would make sense if there where RO that originally supported pufferfish but then where shown the beauty of coral island, and those two are the only ones I know beside Karen that are fleshed out that way. I can’t wait to see what they do with

eyy not sure if this was meant to be a request or just chatting, but im gonna reply anyway and if it was meant to be a request just let me know 😎

i agree, though!! tbh out of the three (raina, derek, and karen) if we could only take two id pick raina and derek for sure. i remember when i first played and saw derek i was all like ive gotta marry this man before i realized he isn't a candidate yet 😭😭 same for raina!!

maybe im just a sucker for redemption stories but getting to see their development from supporting pufferfish co to not as you get closer would be so cool 😌 that character development <3

[sleepyselkiesiren]

My thoughts on Coral Island characters part 11: white boi round!

He's a man! A dude! A bro! Thus I will actively avoid him. There's nothing wrong with him, we're just like polar opposite magnets.

I hate him. Which is a shame, cause he looks quite a bit like my dad, who I love dearly. At first I thought it was just the doctor trauma, but now I think he's just genuinely annoying. I will consider playing Coral Island a success if I never so much as meet him.

Ironically, same name as my dad! Wild. Irl, for personal reasons, I would never be friends with him. I actually thought I'd dislike him before the game released. But in-game, turns out I quite enjoy running into him. I may even admit, I like talking to him! And Fun Bucket was a great surprise!!

We all know how we feel about Karen, come on. Just looking at her makes me feel like my throat is filling with gross slime. Get out get out get out get out get out. I hate that she has the hair color I wanted to get, she doesn't Deserve it.

[coral-island-player]

does anyone else think that Morris from Stardew Valley and Karen from Coral Island would be a cute couple? I lowkey ship them

[tripleedenresortkenya]

Get the Best and Affordable Hotel Deals in Naivasha

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Naivasha Kenya 

It is a large town in Nakuru County in Kenya that is located almost 100 KMs North-West of Nairobi. Naivisha is one of the most popular tourist destinations of Kenya. The top attractions of this are:

Lake Naivasha

Hell's Gate National Park

Crescent Island Game Park

Crater Lake Game Sanctuary

Lake Oloidien

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[haveamagicalday]

My reads of 2020

My top ten is in a separate post but here are the rest of my reads!

5 Stars

If You Tell by Gregg Olsen 

This is a memoir about the Shelley Knotek case. It focuses heavily on the relationship and struggles of her three daughters that were just children when Shelley’s tortures started. This book was fantastically written for such a morbid tale but be warned, it is not for the faint of heart. Trigger Warning: Abuse, torture, murder

Wayside School Beneath the Cloud of Doom by Louis Sachar 

The Wayside school books were some of my favorite growing up. I made sure to reread them all before reading this one. It felt like no time had past at all. This is a great blast from the past that won’t disappoint old fans of the series. 

4 Stars

All Your Twisted Secrets by Diana Urban

A group of seemingly unrelated students are invited to a scholar dinner that turns out to be a trapped. Once all the students arrive, they are locked in with a bomb and the the option to choose one person to die or they all die. As the night slips away, we learn the secrets and connections the students share that brought them to their predicament. Surprisingly not as suspenseful as you would think it would be and the secrets/bad things the students had done in the past really weren’t that twisted. Still it was very fun with an explosive ending.

Beyond the Shadowed Earth by Joanna Ruth Meyer

This is a sequel to Beneath the Haunting Sea and actually focused on the hero from the first’s books antagonist, Eda. Eda overthrow our hero from the first book as heir to the throne, blamed the king’s death on her and had her wrongfully banished to an island that launched the story of the first book. After that we never visited Eda again as the book focused on a different story instead of getting her kingdom back. So in this one, we see what happened to Eda after she took over. She is not a good person and the author isn’t afraid to make her unlikable at first, but also redeemable through her adventure and misfortunate. 

Break Your Glass Slippers by Amanda Lovelace

Another book of poetry from Amanda Lovelace that delivers profound and touching poems.

Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier 

A classic retelling of The Six Swans. This story takes place in a medieval/fantasy version of Ireland. Marillier is one of my favorite authors of fairytale retellings. This book is definitely a slow read but is gorgeously written and rich in character development. The story follows the fairytale with little variation. Trigger Warning: Rape (graphic depiction).  

Lady Killers: Deadly Women Throughout History by Tori Telfer

Nonfictional account of female serial killers. I liked that this wasn’t written like a wikipedia page and took a more narrative approach. After the first few women, they all start to blend together though. Lots of poisoning happens. It would have been nice for some variety. 

Malorie by Josh Malerman

The sequel to Bird Box that we probably didn’t need but was still good nonetheless. This one focuses more on Boy and Girl (now named thankfully) as teenagers and their view and challenges of the world they’ve grown up in. This book introduced new concepts that were interesting and creative. Somehow this managed to have a relatively happy and satisfying conclusion.

The Monstrous Feminine by Barbara Creed  

A look at horror films through a feminist and psychological lens. I absolutely loved this book and the ideas it presents. The first half of the book takes a look at certain horror films (such as Carrie, the Exorcist, Alien, ect.) and “challenges this patriarchal view by arguing that the prototype of all definitions of the monstrous is the female reproductive body.” I liked the first section of the book more than the second part where I felt it focused too much on Freud and his findings and challenging them through horror films.

No Judgements by Meg Cabot

A cute, fluffy romance that takes place on a small island preparing for a category 3 hurricane. Bree finds herself forced to shelter with the island’s resident heartbreaker and they don’t get along. At first ;)

The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

Alicia, a famous painter and wealthy wife, shocked the world when she killed her husband and then stopped speaking afterwards. Now committed to a mental institute, Alicia is still refusing to speak. Theo is a therapist who jumps at the opportunity to work with Alicia and discover what really happened with her husband. Some of the twist was easy to pick up on at first but there was plenty that kept me guessing. This was a real page turner.

When We Were Magic by Sarah Gailey

Alexis and her group of friends have one very big thing in common; they are able to preform magic. One night, Alexis’ magic causes an accidental death of a classmate and the friends have to ban together to make things right. This was a creative and moving read. There’s plenty of magic but it almost comes secondary to the friendships and blossoming love between two of the friends. 

The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson

Immanuelle lives in. a patriarchal society where the prophet’s word is law and the town is bordered by the evil and forbidden Darkwood. In the Darkwoods lurks four witches that seem to be calling out to Immanuelle. This book had fantastic world building and the story was unique and engaging. Sometimes it felt like we were just skimming the surface of possibilities and I felt that the book could have been longer or divided into a series. While the story wraps up in the end it does turn out there is going to be a sequel so I’m excited for that! Trigger Warning: Mentions of Rape

3.5 Stars

The Cousins by Karen M. McManus

Jonah, Aubrey and Milly never knew their rich grandmother. Her children were all cut off ominously with a note simply saying “you know what you did.” Now their grandmother is reaching out to the cousins and inviting them to work at her island resort for the summer. Lots of secrets and twists await them! This book was a lot of fun and probably my favorite of this author’s so far. Some of the twists border on zany but the overall tone of the book is a little zany so it works.

Horrid by Katrina Leno 

After her father’s death, Jane and her mother are forced to move across the country into Jane’s mother’s childhood home. The manor has many secrets hidden within that Jane must face. The book was well written and intriguing. The books deal with grief and mental illness with a touch of the supernatural. I felt that the overall pacing felt off though. Very little happened in the beginning and then a lot happens in the last 30 or so pages and then it ended abruptly. It was a great concept though and I'm interested in more from this author!

One of Us is Next by Karen M. McManus

A sequel to the hit novel, One of Us is Lying. This book focuses on one of the character’s from the first books little sister and two of her classmates. The stakes in this one didn’t feel quite as serious as the first book but it was a fun read with interesting twists!

The Return by Rachel Harrison

Julie went missing, leaving her 3 best friends grappling with tragedy. Then, exactly two years later, she comes back with no memories. The four friends decide to spend a weekend together but something is not quite right with Julie. This book was creepy! However, it focuses more on the relationships of the four characters and dealings with grief with a touch of supernatural sprinkled throughout. It’s a gripping novel from start to finish that will keep you guessing.

3 Stars

All the Missing Girls by Megan Miranda

Nicolette returns to her hometown for the first time in ten years after the mysterious disappearance of her best friend. Shortly after arriving another girl goes missing, forcing Nicolette to relive what happened years ago. What made this book a page turner was that it tells the story backwards. Once she gets to her hometown it starts on her 10th day and works backwards to what happened on the day of her arrival. Unfortunately, while the concept works at first it builds up to a lackluster and disappointing ending. If you were to put the book in the correct order, it wouldn’t work as there are stuff that is found out in the first few days that the reader doesn’t know about but the characters do that wouldn’t make sense in a narrative sense.

Behind Closed Doors by B.A. Paris

From the outside Jack and Grace come off as the perfect couple but behind closed doors, everything changes. No twists here, Grace is Jack’s prisoner and she is desperately trying to get away. The book alternates between past and present about her current situation and how she got there. This involves a lot of suspension of disbelief. Jack is a cartoony type of villain with no real motive and he would never be able to get away with what he was doing. Grace is also not the smartest person, there were a lot of different ways she could have escaped but for the sake of the story she doesn’t. Don’t get me wrong, this was still a suspenseful and fun read but also questionable and some points.

The Blue Salt Road by Joanne M. Harris

A quick, fairytale like story about a selkie who was tricked into becoming human and now longs to return to the sea. I feel like there was a message being preached in this story, but I can’t really pinpoint what it was. Regardless, this was a magical little read.

Clown in a Corn Field by Adam Cesare

Clown in the corn field is a slasher film put on page. It starts off like a typical YA novel and sets up a mystery as to who the clown is, but then the clown attacks at a party and the rest of the novel is that one night as the clown wrecks havoc and the teens have to escape. I think I wold have preferred and more drawn out mystery but fans of slasher films would really enjoy this!

Coral by Sara Ella

A sort of retelling of the Little Mermaid. Sort of. This book focuses on strong themes of mental health. The mermaid/fantasy side is minimal and almost completely disappears in the 2/3rds in to the novel. It was a slightly confusing read but had a powerful depiction of depression. Trigger Warning: Suicide

The Doll House Murders by Betty Ren Wright

A sad but sweet little mystery novel about a preteen girl who discovers a dark secret via an old dollhouse and its mysterious moving dolls. The subject matter was dark but the story was written for middle graders and thus mystery is handled with simplicity and strange charm to it.

Good Girl, Bad Blood by Holly Jackson

The sequel to A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder. This book hasn’t been released in the US yet but you can still get the British/original version on amazon which is what I did. This novel requires a stretch of disbelief and I didn’t think the mystery was as good as the first one. However, if you are a fan of the first one, you will still want to check this one out as well!

I Know Who You Are by Alice Feeney

You definitely have to suspend your disbelief when you read this one. It's gripping and while some twists were easily guessed, the final one took me for a surprise. It's equal parts dark/chilling and cheesy/silly. I'm still left with a lot of questions after the ending. It makes the book fall apart when you think about it but if you just take it for what it is, an entertaining but cheesy thriller, you'll enjoy it.

The Harp of Kings by Juliet Marillier 

This book features the children of the main characters from the Blackthorn and Grim series but you don’t need to read that series in order to read this one (though you should!). The book features three teenagers that are training to be warriors that are selected to go undercover in a nearby kingdom to find the stolen Harp of Kings before the new king’s coronation can take place. It was slow in the beginning and I felt there wasn’t much character development but it was an enjoyable read.

In Darkling Wood by Emma Carroll

Alice’s sick brother is getting a lung transplant and Alice is forced to stay with an estranged grandmother. Her grandmother lives on the edge of darkling wood, a place rumored to be filled with fairies. This book reminded me of a less dark version of When A Monster Calls. It deals with some of the same themes but this is more aimed towards children with a feel good ending.

The Lost Girls by Heather Young

In the summer of 1935, six year old Emily disappeared leaving her two older sisters and parents devastated. Sixty years later, both sisters are dead but one of them left behind her house and a notebook detailing what happened that summer for her grandniece, Justine. This book wasn’t so much of a thriller but focused more on Justine’s current issues with her daughters and ex boyfriend. I found the chapters with the notebook pages in between chapters more interesting than the modern story.

Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli 

I read the first Stargirl years ago but reread it before reading this one. This sequel doesn’t manage to capture the same charm as the first one did. The book is a series of letters that Stargirl writes (but doesn’t send) to Leo from the first book following her over the course of a year. I found it surprisingly boring at times and Stargirl seemed far to normal as compared to the first book. It was neat to see what she was up to after the first book but overall I didn’t think it was a necessary sequel. 

A Psalm for Lost Girls by Katie Bayerl

Callie’s older sister was considered a saint in her small town before she tragically passed away. Now the city is trying to have her canonized, but Callie knows her sister wasn’t a saint, and the pressure is what ultimately killed, so now she’s on a mission to prove that her sister was just a normal girl. This book involved a missing child that Callie’s sister was supposed to find before she died but couldn’t. The mystery there was very predictable and was kind of on the back burner to Callie’s story. I think this would have been a more interesting story if it had been from the sister’s perspective and how it felt to be a teen saint while she was still alive.

The Rose Without a Thorn by Jean Plaidy 

The story of Katherine Howard, the fifth wife of King Henry. I was looking for a novel that painted Katherine as sympathetic, as most adaptations make her out to be a seductress. This novel was strange as it read as a wikipedia entry in a narrative form. It was all telling and no showing and lacked real emotion. From the minor research I’ve done, it seems to be pretty accurate in terms of events that happened. Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse featuring a minor (but isn’t presented as such)

Sadie by Courtney Summers

Sadie’s sister was murdered and she is determined to bring the killer to justice. In between each chapter about Sadie is a the transcript for a podcast that is covering the case, as well as Sadie’s future disappearance . This is a very popular book but to be honest, I'm not sure what the point was? The podcast was an interesting idea but it basically just rehashed everything we already knew. Not much was added by it. The ending just fizzles away and the story tended to drag in places. It was very well written though and I think I was just not the right audience for it.

The Seventh Bride by T. Kingfisher

A creepy retelling of Bluebeard. It reads like a YA in some places but Adult in others. It was definitely unsightly and out there but I found it confusing in some places. It has some great creepy imagery and slight body horror to it.

The Supervillain and Me by Danielle Banas

Abby’s brother is a superhero beloved by the whole crime ridden town. But when a supervillain comes into town, Abby finds her paths crossing with him again and again. Okay, so the supervillain wasn’t even a villain and the reason for wanting Abby to help him was not a very good one. The book is mostly about the romance between the two which was nice but nothing spectacular. I found myself more interested in the musical Abby was starring in. It was about a cannibalistic royal family whose oldest son falls in love with a servant and he has to save her from being eaten by his family. Now THAT sounded interesting!

Winterdream by Chantal Gadoury

A Nutcracker retelling. This was a sweet retelling of the story. It didn’t add much to the original tale or the ballet but it was a good winter read to get into the spirit of Christmas.

They Wish They Were Us by Jessica Goodman

Freshman year, Jill’s best friend was killed by her boyfriend., Graham Now it’s senior year and Jill is the president of an elite school club but someone keeps texting her about Graham’s innocence and she can’t keep herself from diving deeper into the mystery to unearth what really happened to her friend. Gripping and twisty, this book was a solid teen mystery!

Not Rated

I’m Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid

I read this almost a year ago and I still don’t know what to think about it. I can’t decide if the story was genius or simple shock value. Did the twist make sense? I don’t know honestly. I read this before I even knew there was a netflix adaptation coming and I while I read this book in one sitting, I only made it halfway through the movie. I personally don’t think it translated well to screen. If you are looking for a quick disturbing read with an ending you WILL NOT be able to guess, then I highly recommend this one.

The Merry Spinster: Tales of Everyday Horror by Mallory Ortberg

There’s a pretty popular post on his webiste that has a link to a horrifying retelling of Curious George. This is a collection of retellings/unrelated short stories by the same author. I didn’t read all of the stories in this because some of them were just too difficult to get through and confusing. However, the dark retellings of fairy tales and children books were really enjoyable. I particularly liked the retellings of The velveteen rabbit, the frog prince and the six swans. I think they can all be found online and not just in this collection.

Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer

Is it good? No. Is it garbage? Yes. Did I still read it any way? Yes. Team Edward for life.

[ayotamacheck]

Ok ok ok so I have, like, 4 farmer ocs at the moment (well actually 3 one is just my self insert) The most fleshed out so far is named Cassandra, and she's a mixed martial artist that quit after injuring her shoulder then basically had an early mid life crisis. And for some reason decided the answer to her problems was to become a farmer. She's an absolute girlboss that doesn't take anyone's shit; cue some uh interesting interactions with Karen.

She also ends up getting a massive crush on Lily. Which is also uh interesting given the fact that her and Jim start off on the wrong foot. (I'm going to win that grumpy man over with the power of friendship) I have a bunch of story plot and stuff outline as well to go with it, but a lot could be subject to change since the game is still in early access.

oh my god i love this!! she sounds like such an interesting character :0 mixed martial artist?? that's so cool! and i love the idea that she comes to coral island after an injury, that would make such a cool backstory. honestly this is the kind of character id be obsessed with if she were in the game

aww her and lily!! that alone is awesome but throw in her having to win over jim as well 🤣 i love it, that's so fun. if you ever wanna talk more abt your characters (or that story plot 👀👀👀) hit me up, because i love cassandra already!!

[goldenponcho]

A Cruise Fit for a King Chapter 4

I’m going to preface this chapter with a hot take:

Scarlemagne is absolutely a Karen.

Previous | Chapter 1 | Next

The erratic slapping of Hugo’s hand against the water as he attempted to paddle for shore, in hindsight, had most likely been ineffective. But in the moment, in his still stir-crazy mind, it felt like it was making him go faster. He tired himself out long before he would make it, however. The horizon, he soon realized, was much further away than he had once thought.

It was a good four hours before his strange little craft got anywhere close to perceiving much of anything about the island, but when he did, his hopes rose. The island was massive, for all he knew, an entire continent. He could make out a scattering of small architecture, nothing like the massive high-rises of Skyscraper Ridge, but it still promised some manner of life. Hugo was so mesmerized, it nearly gave him palpitations when something hit his vehicle with a thud.

“‘Ay!! No floaters in the reef, land-crawler!!”

“Huh?” Hugo leaned to see who was speaking to him, only to be shocked into silence. Below him was a bustling rainbow of colors and shapes. There were hundreds…thousand of all sorts of marine mutes weaving in and out of a labyrinth of radiant coral. The water was so crystal clear, he could see straight down for what must have been at least thirty feet, and he quickly sat back down in the passenger seat, as actually seeing how deep the water was was much more unnerving than just knowing it in the back of his mind, no matter how much infinitely deeper the actual ocean was.

There was another thud and a squeeeek! as another mute raked the side of the car.

“Hey! You don’t belong here! Get out of our shoals!!”

Hugo, more cautiously this time, craned his head to address the second irritated mute, a porpoise with a fanny pack strapped to her pudgy neck.

“Apologies, madame! I just need to get to shore so I can-”

“Officer! Arrest this baboon!”

Hugo bristled with an affected gasp, “I am NOT a baboon; I’m a MANDRILL! And I’ll kindly thank you not to-”

“Alright, King Kong! Outta the water! Beat it!!” The black and white “officer” fish berated him and blew a shrill whistle.

Before Hugo could begin to reply, his craft was rocked to the point of nearly capsizing as a mega octopus surfaced, and began flailing its massive tentacles to send his vehicle careening toward shore. He could hear angered jeering aimed toward him, and he gripped the door and the seat beneath him as his craft skidded through the surf and onto the shore.

His car came to a nearly instant halt in the sand, and his nose pressed painfully into the windshield before he was tossed back into his seat. Hugo rubbed his aching snout, groaning as he sat up from the slouched position he had been forced into. He quickly saw that he had been lucky enough to stop just short of a substantial piece of driftwood.

“Thanks for the ride, gents!” He leapt to balance himself on the edge of the driver’s side door, holding onto the windshield frame for support as he cupped the other hand to project his voice, “This is exactly where I wanted to go! I’M MUCH ABLIGED!!”

He was barely through with his taunting when a nasally, monotone voice interrupted him, “Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to move your car, or I’ll have no choice but to tow it.”

Hugo looked through the windshield to see a seagull mute wearing a crooked baseball cap and a heavily stained navy jumpsuit.

“I beg your pardon, but I was most unceremoniously surfed here completely outside of my own control,” he stepped back onto the seat behind him and opened his door to release a stream of seawater before stepping down to the beach with a haughty strut, “AND if you could see beyond that BEAK of yours, you would notice that this vehicle has no wheels to speak of.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but I couldn’t be less emotionally invested if I wanted to… Tough break, I guess.”

With a wave of the gull’s feather wing, Hugo heard loud flapping and turned in time to watch a mega pelican with two heads that would have dwarfed even his own personal flamingo several times over thud to the sand on the other side of the car. The creature lowered one of its heads and opened its beak to reveal a whole pile of mostly metal flotsam and jetsam. Hugo was left uncharacteristically speechless as the beak latched onto his car and engulfed it completely before the bird waddled with heavy steps away from the beach and further inland. It stopped in front of what looked to be a large wall made of garbage that spanned the entire length of the shore as far as Hugo could see both ways, then practically vomited his precious luxury car onto the top of the wall along with the pile of scrap metal.

“Are-you-JOKING?!!” he resisted the urge to stomp his foot, “That convertible is my ONLY mode of transportation!”

The seagull didn’t look up from his clipboard to gave a wide eyed, tight beaked stare at nothing, “Well, you should have thought about that before you bought a car with no wheels.”

Hugo’s eye twitched, and his fur bristled as he clenched his fists in front of him with barred teeth. Before he could retort, the rude mute had ripped the the sheet of paper he had been writing on and held it in front of  Hugo’s nose. “If you want it back, sign this and take it to Maggie at the kiosk. Have a nice day.”

Hugo glared daggers at who was now his least favorite mute in the world, raising a hand slowly, then violently snatching the paper from him. “Thank. You.” The words were punctuated in a way which insinuated that in spirit, he was saying something much less kind. He huffed as the bird left to torment some other poor soul and glanced to scan the form he had been handed.

He glared at the entry for “year” where the gull had written “old”. “Old?! That car was a classic, fully restored, in mint condition!” He slapped the back of his hand against the form, “At least it was.”

His eyes scanned over the total for the pickup fee to see scribbled there “five small shells, three medium shells, or one large shell”. That was all? He looked to his feet where there was nothing but a mixture of seashells and sand, and he gave a shrug before scooping up a handful. He sorted through the gritty mixture with a finger to study its contents. There was one shell. Two. Three, four…and five! He dusted the rest off on his coat, taking extra care to make sure none of the sand stuck there, then made his way to the kiosk next to the wall.

Hugo approached the large crab mute behind the counter and tossed the form and the shells in front of her. “I’d like my automobile back, ma’am. The fuchsia convertible with the silver hood ornament of my very own likeness,” he gave a “get going” motion with his hand. “Please and thank you.”

“What the hell are these?” The crab’s voice grated as she put a cigarette out on the counter, but she didn’t budge from her spot, arms crossed and leaned back against her own massive shell.

“Five small shells?” Hugo jabbed a finger to the form, “I believe this is sufficient payment for you to release back to me my vehicle that your DELIGHTFUL little mom and pop operation took right from under my nose.”

“You ain’t from around here, are ya, monkeyshines? These measly little suckers ain’t worth squat. You need a few o’ these bad boys!” She gave the shell behind her a slap, “We’re talkin’ ‘bout conchs, whelks, cones…even a pitiful little nerite  would be better than this. How ya ‘spect the young’uns ta keep their keisters covered with a couple’a little, cracked surf clams?” She moved to open the curtained bar flap next to her which revealed a tiny horde of baby hermit crabs, all of different sizes, one skittering out of site with a squeak at being caught mid shell exchange.

“Listen!” Hugo howled, pointing an assertive finger, “THAT car has been with me for a LONG time! If you think I’m about to let it become a BRICK in your wall of RABBLE, YOU ARE SORELY MISTAKEN!!!”

Hugo breathed loudly and rapidly, now hunched forward on his knuckles, but the hermit crab wasn’t at all threatened.

“You ain’t got SHELLS, monkeyshines, then you ain’t got a CAR!!” And with that, she slammed the rolling counter door above them shut, nearly catching the tip of Hugo’s nose on the way down.

He inhaled before releasing something between a snarl and a scream through clenched teeth, then shuddered with a growl before almost immediately composing himself with a proper, upright posture and a stiff, manic smile, “I…HATE it here.”

[bestreasonstowriterecordreviews]

✰ BEST OF THE BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2019 ✰        

It’s that time again: let’s feast from 2019′s Grapevine That Is Never Pruned with 21 (+ approximately 277 more) of the BEST OF THE BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2019!    ✰ 7th ANNIVERSARY ✰ 

<All long playing vinyl records unless otherwise noted...& many cassettes>

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ TOP 21 ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

✰ TAIWAN HOUSING PROJECT  Sub-Language Trustees  (ever/never) ✰

✰ SAMANTHA RIOTT  Bloodletting download (self-released)

✰ PAULA GARCIA STONE  Undercurrent  cd (Linear Obsessional, UK) 

✰ POSSIBLE HUMANS  Everybody Split (Trouble In Mind)

✰ WILLIAM HENRY MEUNG cassette FMerror (chemical imbalance., Australia)

✰ LEILA BORDREUIL  Headflush  (Catch Wave Ltd)

✰ LEIGHTON CRAIG Diamond Eye (Bruit Direct Disques, France) 

✰ KNITTED ABYSS   Bad Lassies (Paradise Daily, Australia)

✰ WEAK SIGNAL  LP1  (Mag Mag)

✰ TOM OF ENGLAND  Sex Monk Blues (L.I.E.S.)

✰ DRY CLEANING  Boundary Road Snacks And Drinks & Sweet Princess LP (It’s OK, UK)

✰ 75 DOLLAR BILL  I Was Real  double LP (Thin Wrist Recordings) 

✰ DARK BLUE Victory Is Rated (12XU)

✰ KALI MALONE  The Sacrificial Code 3 cd (iDEAL Recordings, Sweden)

✰ SHABAZZ MYSTIK Chant D’Lâme (Off, Belgium)

✰ LONG HOTS Give And Take 7” (Third Man)

✰ AMIRTHA KIDAMBI & LEA BERTUCCI  Phase Eclipse cassette (Astral Spirits)

✰ CHRIS BROKAW  End Of The Night (VDSQ)

✰ SPIRAL WAVE NOMADS Spiral Wave Nomads (Twin Lakes/Feeding Tube)

✰ HAMA Houmeissa (Sahel Sounds)

✰ YL HOOI  Untitled  cassette (Altered States Tapes, Australia)

JEANINES Jeanines (Slumberland)

ARTEFACTOS DE DOLOR  La Niña double LP (Pain Artifacts)

U-BAHN  U-Bahn  (Future Folklore, France)

MDOU MOCTAR Ilana: The Creator (Sahel Sounds)

STEFAN CHRISTENSEN The Upcoming Flame (bruit direct disques, France) 

TYSHAWN SOREY & MARILYN CRISPELL  The Adornment Of Time cd (Pi Recordings)

ALE HOP Apophenia (Buh Records, Peru)

TIM PANARETOS  Submergence cd-r (chemical imbalance., Australia) & Opposites End download (self-released, Australia)

KATE CARR City Of Bridges download (Longform Editions, Australia)

WRITHING SQUARES  Out Of The Ether (Trouble In Mind)

MY NORTH EYE  (My) North Eye (2011) cd-r  (Reverb Worship, France)

PINOCCHIO  Pinocchio ep (Toxic State)

BRIDGET HAYDEN Soil And Song cassette (Synchronise Witches, UK) [comes with Karen Dalton fanzine!]

The COWBOYS The Bottom Of A Rotten Flower  (Feel It Records)

OLUMPUS  Caucus & Surplus downloads (both stabbies, etc., New Zealand)

CHUCK CLEAVER  Send Aid (Shake It!)

JOSÉ DIAS  After Silence, Vol. 1. cd (Clean Feed, Portugal)

KNIFE WIFE  Family Party cassette (Sister Polygon)

TRAMPOLINE TEAM  Trampoline Team (HoZac)

KATE CARR  Heatwave cassette (self-released, UK)

SEBASTIEN STH BISET  Islæd cd (Mnóad, Belgium)

PHAROAH CHROMIUM  Eros + Massacre  (Scum Yr Earth, France)

JOSEPH ALLRED Aspirant cassette (Garden Portal Tapes) & O, Meadowlark (Feeding Tube)

ANDREA BORGHI Tistre cassette (Dinzu Artefacts)

MOPE GROOVES Desire (See My Friends Records)

JOSHUA ABRAMS & NATURAL INFORMATION SOCIETY  Mandatory Reality (Eremite)

SOFIE BIRCH  Island Alchemy cassette (Constellation Tatsu) 

VOYAGE DATA  Voyage Data cassette  (Econore, Germany)

JONNY COUCH  Mystery Man  (Damages Sofa)

FISCHERLE  Gmatwacz cassette (Czaszka, UK)

ROCKET 808  Rocket 808 (12XU)

LINDA TRIP  Sad Bangers cassette (Superdreamer) 

MATTHEW J. ROLIN  Matthew J. Rolin (Feeding Tube Records)

STEKKERDOOS  Kalendar cassette (No Rent)

IAN HAWGOOD  光 (Home Normal, Japan)

ÀLEX REVIRIEGO • DISCORDIAN STRING ENSEMBLE  Incerto For Doublebass And Strings download (Discordian, Spain)

JULIA KENT Temporal cd (The Leaf Label, UK)

NAPS  Better To Give cassette (Gertrude Tapes)

TERROR OF THE DEEP  The A-Team cassette (Melted Ice Cream, New Zealand)

CLAIRE ROUSAY Friends cassette (Never Anything)

ANNA SUBIRIANA • POL PADRÓS • JOAN ANTONI PICH Brull’s Bet download (Discordian, Spain)

HAKOBUNE  A Fan, Strings, and Two Guitars cassette (Patient Sounds)

LORI GOLDSTON Things Opening (Second Editions, Germany)

The RESONARS  No Exit (Trouble In Mind)

MARCIA BASSETT • MANUEL MOTA • MARGARIDA GARCIA  Here They Rest Immobile (Yew)

URANIUM CLUB The Cosmo Cleaners: The Higher Calling Of Business Provocateurs (Fashionable Idiots/Static Shock, UK)

THE COOL GREENHOUSE  “Crap Cardboard Pet” 7” (Hidden Bay Records, France)

ROB NOYES “You Are Tired”/“Nightmare Study”  7” (Market Square Recordings, UK)

TOM LÖNNQVIST  Häviävän Pieni Osa (Guggenhavn Archive, Sweden)

GOTOBEDS  Debt Begins At 30 (Sub Pop)

GREG KELLEY/ROB NOYES  Greg Kelley/Rob Noyes split cassette (self-released)

DEAD SEA APES  The Free Territory  double LP (Feeding Tube Records) 

DRAGGS  Draggs cassette (Slime Street, Australia) 

SPRAY PAINT Into The Country (12XU)

SPF Paul’s McCartney 

2 CHEVRONS No Rules In Outta Space cassette (Albert’s Basement, Australia)

DARK TEA Dark Tea (Fire Talk)

TERRINE  Live At Home cassette (Econore, Germany)

The SNAKES  The Snakes (Anti Fade, Australia)

LIVE SKULL  Saturday Night Massacre  (Bronson Recordings, Italy)

ELKHORN  Sun Cycle/Elk Jam 2 LP (Feeding Tube)

MESSRS  Messrs 12” (Heel Turn Records)

VIRGINIA PLAIN  Strange Game (All Hands Electric)

JEN KUTLER  Dismbodied (EyeVee)

MOR AIR  Life Behind Glass cassette (Genot Centre, Czech Republic)

CIA DEBUTANTE  The Landlord (Siltbreeze)

JOSÉ DIAS  After Silence, Volume 1 cd (Celan Feed, Portugal)

LAURA LUNA CASTILLO  Folksonomies cassette (Cudighi Records)

THE GIRL IN TIMES NEW VIKING  The Girl In Times New Viking (The Fah-Q Catalog)

43 ODES  43 Odes cassette (Eiderdown)

OOF Vanity Plate cassette & EGO cassette  (both Fuzzy Warbles cassettes)

ORGUE AGNÈS A Une Gorge (three:four, Switzerland; Standard In-Fi - 2018)

MICHAEL MORLEY Heavens Idleness Awaits 2 LP (Thin Wrist Recordings)

CHRISTINA KUBISCH  Schall Und Klang cd (Fragment Factory, Germany)

HUNTED CREATURES Sleep Weed cassette (White Reeves Productions)

UNITED WATERS  Coma To Coma (Drawing Room Records)

JULIUS MENARD  Hr  cassette (Econore, Germany)

GEE TEE Chromo-Zone download (self/released, Australia)

AARON RUSSELL  Coral Music cassette (Gertrude Tapes)

9TH HOUSE  Planetary EP 12” (Hot Haus, UK) 

SCAN  Scan 7” ep (Drugfront)

The HECKS  My Star  (Trouble In Mind)

ALINA PETROVA & KIRA WEINSTEIN  Sad Ko cassette (Never Anything)

HIEROPHANTS  Spitting Out Moonlight (Anti Fade, Australia) 

NOTS  3  (Goner)

P WITS The Desire and Pursuit of The Whole cassette (chemical imbalance., Australia)

GOLDEN PELICANS Grinding For Gruel (12XU)

TOPDOWN DIALECTIC  Vol. 2 (Peak Oil)

M. SAGE  Catch A Blessing (Geographic North)

ECHO OHS  Wild Weeds 12” (1:12 Records, New Zealand)

CIVIC  Selling, Sucking, Blackmail Bribes 7"  (Total Punk)

WENDY EISENBERG & SHANE PARRISH  Nervous Systems (Verses) 

KNEELING IN PISS  Tour De Force cassette (The Fah-Q Catalog)

s.soo Tyman download (New York Haunted, Netherlands)    

WSCHÓD  Wschód cd (Clean Feed, Portugal)

PREENING Gang Laughter (Digital Regress) 

CLARICE JENSEN  Drone Studies  cassette (Geographic North)

MARBLED EYE  Beat Sessions, Vol. 8 cassette (Shout Recordings)

STEVE MOORE  Steve Moore 12” (L.I.E.S)

The SELVA  Canícula Rosa cd (Clean Feed, Australia)

PROGRAM Show Me 12” (Anti Fade, Australia)

SLUMB PARTY Spending Money (Drunken Sailor, UK)

EUN-JUNG KIM & CHARLIE COLLINS  Shining Days cd (Linear Obsessional, UK)

NEON  Neon 12” (Square One Again)

CUCINA POVERA Zoom (Night School, Scotland)

PAULA SHOCRON & PABLO DÍAZ with GUILLERMO GREGORIO Díalogos cd (Fundacja Słuchaj, Poland)

MY NORTH EYE / LE GOÛT ACIDE DES CONSERVATOURS  MNE • L / G / A / D / C split cassette ([Equilibre Fragile], France)

The WOOLEN MEN Human To Human (Dog’s Table)

PIERCE WARNECKE & LOUIS LAURAIN  

Phonotypic Plasticity cassette (Astral Spirits)

BIG QUIET Interesting Times (Unblinking Ear)

SEAN ALI • LEILA BORDREUIL • JOANNA MATTREY I Used to Sing So Lyrical cassette (Astral Spirits)

POWDER  Powder In Space cd (Beats In Space)

MUKQS Jaki Crush cassette (No Rent)

DENNIS GONZALEZ & DEREK ROGERS Certain Aspects cd (Marginal Frequency) 

PONT-À-MOUSSON Bye Bye Mirello! cassette (ABrecords, France)

AKI  ONDA  A Method To Its Messiness (Thalamos, Greece)

ALEXANDER  Untitled cassette (Garden Portal)

BRANDY  “Clown Pain”/“Rent Quest” 7” (Total Punk)

MAJOR STARS  Roots Of Confusion, Seeds Of Joy  (Drag City)

LORI GOLDSTON & JUDITH HAMANN Alloys cd (Marginal Frequency) 

PAINT THINNER The Sea Of Pulp (ŌBLĒK)

JEANS BEAST  Unearthly Gardens Of The New Gods cd-r (Econore, Germany) & Attrition cassette (self-releases, Germany)

SKULL PRACTITIONERS  Skull Practitioners 12” (In The Red)

UROCHROMES  Trope House (Wharf Cat)

LIVINGDOG & MIKE JOHNSON CRO$$ cassette (Constellation Tatsu)

HEADROOM  New Heaven 12” (ever/never)

JEFF HENDERSON  The Charming Clarinet download (III Records, NewZealand)

GRAHAM DUNNING & EDWARD LUCAS End Of A Cable cassette (tsss tapes, Italy)

VILDE CHAYE Demos cassette (Brainplan)

Heavy Space Records - Anthology Volumes I & II cassettes (Ikuisuus, Finland)

KYLE EYRE CLYD Eggshell cd (Yew)

NEUTRALS  Kebab Disco (Emotional Response)

FREDDIE DOUGGIE Freddie Douggie: Live on Juneteenth cassette (International Anthem)

AGUSTÍ FERNÁNDEZ • WILLIAM PARKER • SUSIE IBARRA  One Night At The Joan Miró Foundation cd (Fundacja Słuchaj, Poland)

HUGO MASSIEN  Dance Trax Vol. 21 (Unknown To The Unknown) 

RRILL BELL Vagabond Laws cassette (Gertrude Tapes)

GAMARDAH FUNGUS  Natural Storm cd (Hidden Vibes, Ukraine)

WAYNE ROGERS  The Air Below (Twisted Village)

UNKNOWN SENDER Unknown Sender  (Colonel Records) 

BLUES LAWYER  Something Different (Mt.St.Mtn) 

DURA  Reverberation Hymns cassette (Garden Portal)

JODIE LOWTHER  The Cat Collects download (self-released)

WOLKOROTS Dan Manialogism cassette (Magma Tones, Finland)  

CEREAL KILLER  The Beginning And End Of Cereal Killer (Anti Fade, Australia)

COLIN WEBSTER/MARK HOLUB Nadir (Raw Tonk, UK)

The CAVEMEN  Lowlife 7” EP (Slovenly) 

FRANCISCA GRIFFIN  The Spaces Between cd (CocoMuse, New Zealand)

ANDY HUMAN & THE REPTOIDS  “Psychic Sidekick” 7” (Total Punk)

SEI A Mode Static 12” (Aus Music, U.K.)

JOHN SAINT PELVYN  Improvisation 7.7.18 download (Southern Jukebox Music) 

REBEL SCUM The Descent cassette (chemical imbalance., Australia - 2018) 

S. ARAW TRIO XIII Activated Clown cassette (NNA Tapes)

FERRAN FAGES & VASCO TRILLA  Gestell cd (Raw Tonk, UK)

HUA LUN  Wanderlænd + 2 cassette (Katuktu Collective)

VIRVON VARVON  Mind Cancer cassette (Girlsville)

PHILIPP OTTERBACH  The Rest Is Bliss (Knekelhuis, Netherlands)

EDITRIX Talk To Me download (self-released)

PAVLOV’S PUSS  Comfort Food  (Melted Ice Cream, New Zealand) 

NATHALIE STERN  Nerves And Skin cassette (Cruel Nature, UK)

AKI TAKASE  Hokusai  cd (Intakt, Switzerland)

MOORDDROOM  Deep VR Edits bandcamp DL (New York Haunted, Netherlands)

EXEK Some Beautiful Species Left (Digital Regress)

CLAIRE BIRCHALL  “Dead Air” bandcamp DL (it, Australia)

JUDY & The JERKS  Bone Spur cassette (Earth Girl) & Music For Donuts ep  (Thrilling Living) 

POWER STEERING  Power Steering cassette (chemical imbalance., Australia)  

RASMUS TIETCHENS  HOBOTPAHC cd-r (New York Haunted, Netherlands) 

UTINUTIN  Black Cat, Anyeurism, And Simian Politics download (no label)

GUY BIRKIN  Yemen Data Project cassette (New York Haunted, Netherlands)

LINUS VANDEWOLKEN  Het Vlier Een Hommel Op Aarde 10”x 2 (Okraïna, Belgium)

JOHN CHANTLER  Tomorrow Is Too Late  (Room40, Australia)

JENNIFER VANILLA  J.E.N.N.I.F.E.R. EP 12” (Beats In Space)

WOW  Come La Notte  (Maple Death, Italy)

KATE MOHANTY  Disappear Here  cassette (Friendship Tapes) 

ASTRO SOCIAL CLUB & GRUMBLING FUR  Plasma Splice Trifle (vhf)

SANR  Kesif cd (Flaming Pines, UK)

ANDREW TASSELMYER & PATRICK SPATZ  Interior Currents cassette (Constellation Tatsu)

AHMEDOU AHMED LOWLA Terrouzi cassette (Sahel Sounds)

SKRU  Count Zero cassette (Bedouin, UAE)

PUGILIST Blue 06 12” (Whities, UK)

ULAAN  KHOL  Collapsing Hymns cassette (Worstward) 

L.$.D. FUNDRAISER  No Peace Without Tranquility (no label, New Zealand)  

COCHONNE  Cochonne (self released)

LE POUFS À CORDES Le Poufs À Cordes cd (Pagans, France)

FRET!  A Vanity Spawned By Fear cassette (Cruel Nature, UK) 

UNWAR  Other People cd-r (Magma Tones, Finland)

WOJCIECH RUSIN  The Funnel (Akashic, Scotland)

SLEEPER AND SNAKE Junction And High (Aarght, Australia)

The OILIES Psychic Dog (Fruits & Flowers)

ELI KESZLER Empire 12” (Shelter Press, France)

HAIDER 10961 12” (Aus Music, UK)

FOSTER CARE El Abuso (Total Punk)

TORN HAWK Time Is A Scam 2x 12” (L.I.E.S.)

The LICE Nancy Spungen download (self-released)

DJ XNX  ATX  (Get Busy!, Russia)

SHITTY LIFE Vinyls Discography (Lo-Fo Lo-Life, Germany)

GONG GONG GONG  幽靈節奏 = Phantom Rhythm (Wharf Cat)

SARAH LOUISE  Nighttime Birds And. Opening Stars (Thrill Jockey)

MYRIAM BLEAU Lumens & Profits (Where To Now?, UK)

TV DUST  Forget (MyOwnPrivateRecords / Occult Gang, Italy)

PRIMORJE Reference Path  cassette (Thalamos, Greece)

JUNE CHIKUMA Ler Archives LP + 7” (Freedom To Spend)

dMyanche  Ergonomie cassette (Indian Redhead, France)

EQUIPMENT POINTED ANKH Live (Sophomore Lounge)

VIV CORRINGHAM  Until I Learn The Language Of Mineral Vegetable  cassette (Linear Obsessional, UK)

JACOB WICK feel (Thin Wrist)

AMATEUR HOUR Framtiden Tillhör Inte Oss (Happiest Place, Sweden)

The FICTIVE FIVE  Anything Is Possible cd (Clean Feed, Portugal) 

DANKETSU 9  Towards A Walk In The Sun cd (Patient Sounds (intl))

IVAN THE TOLERABLE  Rations 2LP (Stolen Body, UK)

DANA  Glowing Auras And Black Money (Heel Turn)

NATE YOUNG  Volume 3: Dance Of The Weeping Babe 12” (Lower Floor)

SHOLTO DOBIE & MARK HARWOOD  The Blue Horse  cd (Penultimate Press, UK)

HEAVY METAL 4  (Statik Age Music, Germany)

WET TUNA  Water Weird (Three Lobed Recordings)

CARRAGEENAN Invisible Design cassette (Czaszka, UK)

PRIVATE ANARCHY  Central Planning  (Round Bale Recordings)  

HIDEO NAKASAKO  Texture Of Days cassette (Muzan Editions, Japan)

PRANA CRAFTER  Bodhi Cheetah’s Choice (Beyond Beyond Is Beyond)

PATRICK SHIROISHI & NOEL MEEK  Break Your Eyes cassette (Sploosh)

ANDY HUMAN & The REPTOIDS  Psychic Sidekick (Total Punk)

SLAG QUEENS  You Can’t Go Out Like That (Rough Skies Records, Australia)

ALIAS G Natural Love 12” (Unknown To The Unknown, UK)

NIVHEK  After Its Own Death / Walking In A Spiral Towards The House cd (W.25th)

GARCIA PEOPLES Natural Facts (Beyond Beyond Is Beyond)

MARCO SERRATO/FRANCESCO COVARINO Bestemmia cd (Raw Tonk, UK)

HOUSEWIVES Twilight Splendour  (Blank Editions, UK)

CLOUDWATCHERS  Cloudwatchers cd (Unexplained Sounds Group, Italy)

CATHERINE LAMB Shade/Gradient  (Black Pollen Press -2018) 

UNITED BIBLE STUDIES  Porti Sepolti cassette (Sloow Tapes, Belgium)

ÚJ BÁLA Diacritical Marks And Angels cassette (Baba Vanga, Czech Republic)

STRENGTH N.I.A.  Do Televisions, Frankie Moore ritual cassette (Stength N.I.A., UK)

DAVID LIPTAK David Lipton: Dove Songs [Tony Arnold, soprano/Allison D’Amato, piano] cd

ANNĒE ZĒRO  La Coolitude (Indian Redhead, France)

MELENAS “Ya Me No Importa Si Tú Quieres”/“Si Tú Me Quieres” 7” (El Nebula Recordings, Spain)

WHIRLING HALL OF KNIVES  Knukke cassette (Cruel Nature, UK)

PROTRUDERS  Poison Future (Feel It)

MOTHER JUNO  Commit cassette (popnihil)

LEFT HAND CUTS OFF THE RIGHT Purge cassette (Fractal Meat Cuts, UK)

CLAIRE ROUSAY  t4t  cassette (No Rent)

IQ+1  Conversaphone Plus (mappa, Slovenia)

BENOÎT PIOULARD & SEAN CURTIS PATRICK Avocationals (Bacon Sound) 

DELPHINE DORA  Dunkles Zu Sagen (self-released)

SOOT  Pockmarked With...Soot!  cassette (Eternal Soundcheck, Australia) 

DAN MELCHIOR BAND Negative Freedom (In The Red)

TÔLE FROIDE  Tôle Froide (Le Turc Mecanique, France - 2018)

AHMED AG KAEDY  Alkaline Kidal  (Sahel Sounds)

DUNNING & UNDERWOOD The Blow Vol. 5 cassette (Front & Follow, UK)

TAKAHIRO MUKAI Super Annoying cassette (Fort Evil Fruit, Ireland)

ANTONIO  High Voltage! cassette (Altered States Tapes, Australia) 

CUBE Decoy (W.25th)

The PLAINS  The Plains cassette (chemical imbalance., Australia)

KA BAIRD  Respires (Rvng Intl.) 

GINO & The GOONS  Do The Get Around (Drunken Sailor, UK)

VIVIEN LE FAY  Ecolalia  (Boring Machines, Italy)

DUKE  Uingizaji Hewa  (Nyege Nyege Tapes, Uganda)

ARIAN SHAFIEE  Arabic Voice cassette (unifactor)

MOUNT TROUT  Shelter Belt  cassette (Rough Skies, Australia)

OCEAN FLOOR  Vernalis cassette (Eiderdown)

CURRENT AFFAIRS “Buckle Up”/“World In Crisis” 7” (dotx3, Germany)

AARON SNOW  Instrumentals  ‘15-‘19  cassette (Surf Shop)

MELKINGS  Movement Music cassette (Regional Bears, UK)

DECIMUS  DECIMUS 6 (self-released)

SYLVIE COURVOISIER and MARK FELDMAN  Time Gone Out cd (Intakt, Switzerland) 

DANIEL HOLT Daniel Holt 12” (L.I.E.S.)

BEAT DETECTIVES  NYPD Records Volume 3: Nefertiti Abstract Movie cassette (NYPD Records)

STEFAN CHRISTENSEN & FRIENDS Unknown Fortune (C/Site)

DIRE WOLVES  Grow Towards The Light (Beyond Beyond Is Beyond)

FAMOUS LOGS IN HISTORY  Memories Of the Space Age cassette (Fuzzy Warbles Cassettes)

HAND & LEG Lust In Peace (Black Gladiator)

DEE DEE & The FUZZ COFFINS Three Golden Hits cassette (Earth Girl Tapes)

RAZORLEGS  Skip Skool cassette (Fadensonnen)

BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2018

BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2017

BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2016

BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2015

BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIWS IN 2014

BEST REASON TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2013

Neil Morris, speaking to Alan Lomax in 1959:

“Well, when I was just a small boy, Old Uncle Milt Oldfield…Billy Oldfield, the Congressman from Arkansas for so long, it is his father. He and my father are awfully close friends. And they were discussing music. They were music teachers both of them.

“And uh, and they said, dad did and Uncle Milt sanctioned what he said, that MUSIC HAD NO END. That you could learn all the other guy [or girl] learned, and after you got that done they would then, something else would crop up. That uh, that you, that was the reason why that uh, music advanced. That’s why that you would get a better music in one generation maybe that is, uh, IT WOULD FIT THE TIMES IN WHICH THEY LIVED.”

[Lomax: “What about music on the grapevine?”]

“Welllll, they said that MUSIC GREW LIKE THE GRAPEVINE THAT IS NEVER PRUNED. That each year it’d…it’d put on a little bit more. That was what they said, now, about it. Any further questions?”’

[withabackpackandcamera]

February 21st, 2020

Day 7: Island Hopping and Snorkeling on Tour A Off The Shores of El Nido

The day for island hopping had finally arrived! When I planned my Philippines trip, there were two activities that I was looking forward to most: canyoneering in Cebu and island hopping in El Nido. And today, I got to take part in the second of the two. But first, breakfast. The hostel’s breakfast was actually pretty good. The spread was pretty large with a variety of things to eat. After looking through all the options, I had some rice porridge with a boiled egg, toast, fruit, an omelet, some pancakes, and an orange juice. It was a good breakfast to start the packed day.  

Because the morning pick-up for Tour A wasn’t until later in the morning, I just hung out and got ready for the trip. But I did leave the hostel briefly to head into town to look for a waterproof bag that I had seen tons of people purchasing the day prior. After walking around for a while, I finally found one for a cheap price. With bag in hand, I returned to the hostel, packed all my stuff into my new waterproof bag, and waited for the guide to pick us up.  

And he finally came. Besides me, there were four others from the hostel who had booked the same tour as I had: Claudia and Carmen from Switzerland and Zach and Ghita (Rita) from Morocco. They were all really nice and outgoing and it was fun to be on the tour with them, especially the latter two who I hung out with for most of the tour. Anyhow, we walked to the beach and waited for others to arrive with the guide before we all got into the water and made our way to our floating boat. The boat didn’t leave for what felt like forever. I wasn’t sure what they were waiting on (I think it ended up being some people) but after a while, we were finally on our way. The clouds above us by this point were thicker and more abundant than I had wished but luckily, the sun was still out... at least in some patches of open sky.  

We left the bay or area where the boat was parked and zoomed out toward our first island stop, some island beach that I didn’t catch the name of. On our way to that beach, we spotted Helicopter Island in the distance. It really did look like a helicopter from afar! When we actually arrived at the first beach, I got off the boat with my snorkeling gear and walked/swam into shore (while trying to avoid the half-dead coral beneath me). The water was actually pretty nice even though the sun wasn’t really out to heat it up to a more pleasant temperature. Once on shore, I walked along the short shoreline of the beach to the other side of the island before jumping back into the water and snorkeling my way around a limestone rock as I made it back to the other side of the beach and back to the boat. It was amazing to see all the fish and coral in the water as I snorkeled around. It was beautiful! And it had been so long since I’d seen lively coral and fish... probably since all the way back to my days doing morning swims on the Great Barrier Reef off of Heron Island!  

After a quick first peek at the water, fish, and coral, I was back on the boat headed to our next stop: Shimizu Island, named after a Japanese person who died in a bad scuba diving accident long ago. At Shimizu Island, all I did was snorkel on the far end of the island in the little channel way leading out to the open water. The snorkeling was superb! There were so many coral and so many different types of fish swimming around! I swam around for quite a bit while trying to take photos here and there of what I was seeing. I was probably out there snorkeling for 20-30 minutes before I started getting tired of continually moving around in the water and kicking my legs. By this point, it was time to start heading back to the boat. It took a while to turn around and swim all the way back into shore but eventually, I got back to the boat and we were off again to the next stop: the Secret Lagoon. 

The stop at Secret Lagoon was pretty short because the only reason we stopped there was to take a look at the Secret Lagoon, which wasn’t so secret anymore. But it was kind of cool to see. To get in to see the lagoon, you have to climb through a small hole in the limestone rock that was both the entry and exit point for the Secret Lagoon. And because it was the only way in and out, of course there was a line to get in and out of there. Hilarious to see, annoying to deal with. Anyhow, before long, I was in, checking out the Secret Lagoon. The water was not as crystal clear and blue as you thought it might be but it made sense. With high tide coming only twice a day, there was no way for the water inside the lagoon to turnover and refresh unless the water level came up as high as the entry hole. So that’s probably why the water here didn’t look as nice. Either way, the lagoon was nice to check out with Ghita and Zach.  

Once we were back at the boat, it was lunch time. Because it was raining outside, we ended up having to eat lunch on the boat instead of on the beach. Lunch was well prepared and yummy. There was white fish, chicken, squid, mussels, eggplant, veggies, rice, and yellow watermelon. I had two servings because it was so good and I was so hungry after swimming around so much.  

Next was the main attraction of Tour A: Big Lagoon. It took some time to get there from where we were but by the time we got there, the rain was coming down. Luckily, no thunder. Since we were going to be wet anyways, it didn’t bother us too much that it was raining. Big Lagoon was pretty big. And the cool part was getting in and out. The boats actually anchored outside of the lagoon and we were given the option of swimming (which would be quite difficult and far) or kayaking into the lagoon. Zach, Ghita, and I decided that we would team up and kayak into the lagoon and check it out. And it was fun! It was a little challenging to kayak at a good speed at first but after a while, Zach and I got the hang of it, with me being in front and him in the back. Lucky Ghita, she was just in the middle enjoying the ride. We kayaked into Big Lagoon and stopped a few times for photos before looping around and kayaking back out to the boat. Of note, there were tons of other kayakers here as well, so it wasn’t as picturesque as it would’ve been had it been just us.  

Finally, it was time for the last stop of the day: Seven Commando Beach. This stop was just for hanging out and refreshments before heading back to El Nido. I walked around the beach for a short bit before jumping in on a volleyball game that was just starting with some other tourists. It was a great way to pass time since I was good with swimming and snorkeling for the day. The volleyball game was fun and surprisingly competitive. There were people of all skills but overall, a great two games of beach volleyball. Before finishing the second game, it was time for me to get back to the boat to head back into El Nido.

The tour had come to an end. The weather was pretty terrible for an island hopping experience but overall, it was still fun. It just wasn’t perfect. Once back in El Nido, Ghita, Zach, and I walked back to the hostel and split up to do our own things. I hung out at the hostel and washed up before hanging around for a bit due to the ongoing rain showers outside. I met a nice couple from South Africa, Karen and Mac, and chatted with them for a while until they left. At that point, the rain was starting to calm down and stop, so I took the break in the rain as an opportunity to head back into town to find some food for the evening. 

I had my eyes on one restaurant that was recommended to me by hostel staff but once I got there, I realized that it was closed. After strolling around the wet streets for a while to figure out what was open and what options I had, I ultimately decided on dinner at Mang Gary’s Bulalo at Silog. The wait for my food took awhile but when it finally came, I was glad I stopped at this restaurant. For dinner, I had kare-kare with garlic rice and a coke. The portions were huge and I had a surprisingly difficult time finishing it as the rain fell outside. But I eventually finished my huge bowl of kare kare and headed back to the hostel. By this point, I was pretty tired. I thought about dropping by the bar for another evening of hanging out but ended up deciding against it since I was starting to feel strange and unwell. So I just washed up and headed to bed, hoping that I would get a good night’s rest and be ready for a long trip back to Puerto Princesa in the morning.  

5 Things I Learned Today:

1. The coral reefs here in Palawan are pretty impressive! Lots of variety and lots of color! And for the most part, they look pretty healthy despite global warming. Also, these reefs are pretty close to shore, something I didn’t quite expect when I went into the water. 

2. After a while, snorkeling can get tiring. At first, I thought I could just float there with a snorkel and all would be fine. Nope. After some time, you just want to stand and you can’t until you swim your way back to shore. 

3. Shimizu Island was named after a Japanese girl who died in a tragic accident while scuba diving around the island. Supposedly, she and another person got disoriented and lost during the dive (because the dive can get really dark) and eventually died when they ran out of oxygen while lost. They named the island in honor of her. I think the event was in the 1970s.

4. There are watermelons with yellow insides! Amazing! But they taste about the same as the watermelons with pink insides. 

5. Kare-kare is a traditional dish of peanut-based sauce with meat and veggies (in my case, it was beef with eggplant and green beans) served over rice. It’s just like a peanut sauce-y curry.

[spacetimewithstuartgary]

First Light from Landsat 9 Landsat 9, a joint mission between NASA and the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS) that launched in September 2021, has collected its first images of Earth. Acquired on October 31, the “first-light” images provide a preview of how the mission will help people manage vital natural resources and understand the impacts of climate change. The new satellite extends an unparalleled data record that spans nearly 50 years of space-based observation of Earth. “First light is a big milestone for Landsat users; it’s the first chance to really see the kind of quality that Landsat 9 provides,” said Jeff Masek, the mission’s project scientist at NASA. “When we have Landsat 9 operating in coordination with Landsat 8, it’s going to be this wealth of data, allowing us to monitor changes to our home planet every eight days.” The natural-color top image was cropped from the very first one taken by Landsat 9 on October 31. It shows the Coronation Islands along the Kimberly coast in the state of Western Australia. The lower image shows the metropolitan area around Detroit, Michigan (U.S.) and Windsor, Ontario (Canada), along with neighboring Lake St. Clair and Lake Erie. Landsat 9 carries two main instruments: the Operational Land Imager 2 (OLI-2), which detects visible, near-infrared, and shortwave-infrared light in nine wavelengths, and the Thermal Infrared Sensor 2 (TIRS-2), which detects thermal radiation in two wavelengths used to measure Earth’s surface temperatures. Together the instruments can provide users with essential information about crop health, irrigation use, water quality, wildfire severity, deforestation, glacial retreat, and urban expansion, especially when put in the context of the long Landsat data record. The new satellite and instruments are quite similar in design to Landsat 8, which was launched in 2013 and remains in orbit. Together the two satellites will collect approximately 1,500 images of Earth’s surface every day, observing the entire planet every eight days. Landsat 9 features several improvements, including higher radiometric resolution, allowing the sensors to detect more subtle differences in surface features, especially over darker areas like water or dense forests. With 14 -bit resolution, Landsat 9 can differentiate more than 16,000 shades of a given wavelength color; Landsat 8 provides 12-bit data and 4,096 shades. Landsat 7, the satellite being replaced, detects only 256 shades with its 8-bit resolution. “The data and images from Landsat 9 are expanding our capability to see how Earth has changed over decades,” said Karen St. Germain, Earth Science Division director for NASA. “In a changing climate, continuous and free access to Landsat data and to other data from NASA’s Earth observing fleet helps data users—including city planners, farmers, and scientists—plan for the future.” The Landsat 9 team at NASA is now conducting a 100-day check-out—known as satellite commissioning—that involves testing the satellite’s systems and subsystems and calibrating its instruments in preparation for handing the mission over to USGS in January 2022. USGS will operate Landsat 9 along with Landsat 8. The new data will be available to the public for free from the USGS website once Landsat 9 begins normal operations. “The incredible first pictures from the Landsat 9 satellite are a glimpse into the data that will help us make science-based decisions on key issues including water use, wildfire impacts, coral reef degradation, glacier and ice-shelf retreat, and tropical deforestation,” said USGS Acting Director David Applegate. “This historic moment is the culmination of our long partnership with NASA on Landsat 9’s development, launch, and initial operations, which will better support environmental sustainability, climate change resiliency, and economic growth.” NASA images by Matt Radcliff, using Landsat data from the U.S. Geological Survey. Story by Kate Ramsayer, with Mike Carlowicz.

[paulaliotta]

"Amazon Workers on Staten Island Aim for Union Vote" by BY KAREN WEISE AND CORAL MURPHY MARCOS via NYT https://t.co/JzsrrIyVcd

"Amazon Workers on Staten Island Aim for Union Vote" by BY KAREN WEISE AND CORAL MURPHY MARCOS via NYT https://t.co/JzsrrIyVcd

— Paul Aliotta (@AliottaPaul) Oct 21, 2021

from Twitter https://twitter.com/AliottaPaul October 21, 2021 at 06:14AM via IFTTT