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richiefuckfacetozier · 5 years

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Why Can't This Be Love

Chapter 1: Here It Comes

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Click to read on Archive

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak

Title - Why Can't This Be Love by Van Halen

Dedicated to @slashpalooza and @sam-i-am2468

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Eddie’s Tuesday started out as it normally did. Half a grapefruit for breakfast, thoroughly shower, text his best friend, Richie, a stupid meme, call Mike to confirm lunch for tomorrow, work from 8am to 6pm, and come home to pour himself a glass of wine.

Right now he was pouring 4 glasses because around 3:00pm, Beverly called asking if her and Ben could come by to tell him something exciting and that Richie had to be there too. He was not sure what they could possibly want to talk about with the two of them. Eddie tried to push down the anxiety that they might be angry about something. He was pretty sure he didn’t do anything horrible recently, but he couldn’t be sure.

“Richie! Can you help me?” Eddie shouted from the kitchen of his apartment. “I don’t have enough hands to carry everything!”

“Coming, my love!” Richie joked annoyingly. Although Eddie didn’t find it entirely annoying, it’s just Richie being ridiculous.

His tall friend padded into the kitchen wearing his worn out leather jacket that he thought made him look cool, a print shirt with a meme on it that Eddie didn’t get, and jeans, “I know what they are going to tell us.” Richie stated confidently with a little bounce in his step.

“Did they tell you already? That’s not fair!” Eddie said in frustration. “They couldn’t wait two more damn minutes?”

“No, I have a guess, Eds.”

“Don’t call me Eds.”

“I think Ben finally got the courage to propose to Beverly.” Richie went on with a smile. “Or she grabbed him by the balls and told him to do it.”

Eddie snorted at the imagery and wouldn’t put it past Bev to be that aggressive but probably wouldn’t to the love of her life. “That’s wonderful if it’s the news.”

“I bet you 50 bucks it is,” Richie challenged, “Ben was looking mighty anxious at Bill’s wedding a year ago.”

Eddie rubbed the back of his neck, “I barely remember Bill’s wedding. I was so blackedout.”

Richie rolled his eyes dramatically, “You were stupidly mourning the loss of Myra the hydra.” Eddie cringed at the mention of his ex-girlfriend.

“Be nice, Rich.” Eddie frowned. He pulled out a packet of thin mint girl scout cookies for all of them to snack on.

Richie rolled his eyes as he sipped quickly from the glass of wine, clearly not finished speaking, “I don’t know why either. She was a carbon copy of your mother. Her leaving was the best thing to ever happen to you.”

“Yes, being extremely single has done wonders for my self-esteem.” Eddie mumbled.

Richie leaned over and flicked Eddie’s nose, “You’re a catch, dummy.”

He yelped, rubbing his nose and getting goosebumps from their intensely close position. Eddie grabbed the other two glasses, thin mints and turned on his heel to walk out of the kitchen. “Fine, 50 bucks it isn’t an engagement.”

“Sweet! Also, those pants look good on you.” Richie pointed out following from behind him.

Eddie’s cheeks heated up a little, he purposely wore these dark navy blue jeans because Richie always compliments them. He wondered if Richie remembered that he did this every time. Eddie doubted it. When it was just the two of them, Richie constantly tried to make Eddie feel special and wanted. Eddie suspected Richie did it because he felt sorry for him, but he couldn’t be sure. Despite knowing his best friend pretty well, he was also a huge enigma. Constantly says whatever is on his mind, does the most spontaneous - borderline suicidal - things, and keeps a smile on his face no matter what he may be feeling.

They plop down on the couch in Eddie’s living room. His place was what Richie called a ‘clean mess’, probably the best description of Eddie ever said. He had the habit of hoarding things he didn’t really need. Piles of books on every table that he had already read, knick-knacks from trips, more candles than any one person needed on all open surfaces. He had really nice furniture that matched well in a blend of warm colors. Beverly and Ben sat in two mahogany chairs across from them, holding hands.

Eddie placed the wine glasses on monster movie poster coasters that Richie gifted him years ago when they were teens. They grew up together and remained close throughout the years, regardless of college or moving around. In fact, Eddie had six very close friends from childhood. The group called themselves the Losers Club, a title courtesy of Richie.

“Thanks, Eddie!” Beverly said nicely. Ben thanked him too. Richie sat beside Eddie, the side of their thighs touching as he scooted closer to hand him wine. Eddie always felt so comfortable around all his friends, they were the only ones he let be touchy with him. He used to hate germs and be easily disgusted by everything, but when the people he was closest with shared food, drinks, and beds with him, that feeling went away gradually.

“Alright, lads,” Richie started up with a newsies kid accent. “What’s the scoop? Striking Pulitzer again?”

“Well,” Ben’s round cheeks turned pink as he said, “We’ve got pretty big news.” Eddie observed Ben take both Beverly’s hands into his own big ones.

Beverly was practically jumping in her seat, her flamming red short curls bouncing against the sides of her face. She shared a big smile with Ben as she blurted out, “WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!”

“FUCK YES!” Richie shouted. He flew off the couch tackling Beverly in a huge hug.

“Please, don’t hurt my girlfrie-I mean fiancé.” Ben said softly, clearly surprised how much he enjoyed calling her that.

Eddie got up to hug Ben tightly, saying congratulations. Beverly kissed both men before they sat back down. Eddie raised his glass. “Cheers, to two people who’s friendship, romance, and love are unparalleled.”

They clinked glasses and drank. Richie bumped Eddie lightly, “Cheers to owing me $50.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Eddie nodded toward the counter. “You can grab it from my wallet before you go home.”

“You can just buy me dinner this weekend.” Richie waved his hand.

“So Rich, you know what me getting married also means?” Beverly’s eyes shined brightly at him. He looked between her and Ben, thinking. Then dawning flashed on his face. He put his glass down and stood on the couch.

“Richie, no!” Eddie pleaded desperately. “You are going to fall! Idiot!”

He jumped up and down like a child discovering Christmas came early. “I AM GOING TO BE DUDE OF HONOR!”

They all laughed at his excitement. One of the things the losers club decided in their 20’s, after a particularly ugly fight about who would be who’s best man or ‘dude of honor’ in this case, was that each of them would take turns.

So far, Bill and Stanley had gotten married. To two incredible women, Audra and Patty. Eddie was Bill’s and Bill was Stan’s best man. The rest of the sequence goes: Mike is Richie’s, Richie is Bev’s, Bev is Eddie’s, Stan is Ben’s, and Ben is Mike’s. Mike is fairly confident he won’t get married and neither will Richie, which he says is for the best as he is far too stressed as a person to get married or be a best man.

Eddie recalled that a huge fight he had with Myra was over Beverly being his Best Woman. She shouted at him for hours that there was no reason a woman should be when he had all these guy friends. Explaining the losers club deal to her did nothing but place fuel on the fire. ‘Sometimes I think you love them more than me!’ Looking back, he most certainly did. Eddie was fairly certain he would always love the losers most in this world. Which furthered the cycle of being horribly single. Sometimes he thought he was in a polyamorous asexual relationship with 6 other people. They were too close.

Richie finished up his jumping and landed on the couch half on Eddie. “OW!” Eddie yelled. “That fucking hurt. You aren’t light enough to plop all your weight on me.”

Richie slung an arm over Eddie’s shoulders and kissed the side of his face. “Sorry, Eds.”

Eddie wiped his face that got kissed on Richie’s shoulder, pretending to get the germs off. “Have you told everyone else?”

“We have…” Ben begun slowly. Eddie didn’t like the tone he was using. “Stanley’s already started his best man duties.”

“Why wouldn’t you just tell us you’re getting married altogether like Bill and Stan did?” Richie said, seeming to also realize this was odd.

“Because we have to ask a favor of you.” Ben brought his hand up to start biting his nails the way he did when he was about to deliver bad news.

“Favor is too nice, babe. This is not a favor or a request. It is a requirement if you both want to be at this wedding.” Beverly let go of Ben’s hand to place it on her knee. She rubbed her thighs once, gearing up to tell them. Eddie had a couple guesses about what she may want to say but nothing prepared him for what it actually was, “You have to bring a date.”

Eddie leaned back in confusion, realizing Richie’s arm was still around him so it brought them both laying back against the couch. Richie removed his arm and started fidgeting with his fingers. Eddie worried his bottom lip before saying quietly, “Why?”

Beverly looked to Eddie with sympathy. “I’m sorry, Eddie, but we don’t want a repeat of Stan and Bill’s weddings.”

Eddie’s face immediately turned red with embarrassment. Three years ago, Stanley got married and that was around when he left his mother’s place for the third time. A year later, Bill got married and he had his break up with Myra. On both occasions, Eddie took a bad combination of too many pills and drinking more than he ever had in his life. Resulting in major blackouts and behavior he cannot remember but knows second hand from everyone what happened.

“Why do we both have to have dates?” Richie said, voice a little strained and weird.

Beverly rounded on him with no sympathy. “Because, Richard, when YOU go to weddings you fuck everyone and break shit. A date will keep you focused on that person and not be a chaotic monster with a death wish.”

Richie laughed, “If I want to be fucked by all your bridesmaids at the same time then I should be allowed to do that!”

Beverly’s voice rose higher, “That’s literally not possible, asshole! And the only bridesmaid is Kay McCall.”

“Damn. Kay’s beautiful but I don’t screw married women.” Richie’s face scrunched up. “Does that make her a bride’s matron?”

“High morals there Richie,” Ben said trying to lighten the mood.

“You know it Ben Handsome.” He winked.

Eddie sat there trying to word what he wanted to say carefully. As Richie continued to dig himself a deeper hole, “We are getting off-topic. I’m saying if I want to have sex with someone and have a little fun or if Eddie wants to get so drunk he mistakes your grandma for a urinal, then we should have that right.”

This brings Eddie back, “Richie!”

“What? Nana Denbrough thought she was at a waterpark. You’re fine.”

He put his hands on his face and folded forward. Richie scratched his back soothingly but didn’t stop trying to defend himself. Beverly eventually got so fed up that she pulled out her phone and played a video from YouTube.

“Exhibit A, Bill and Audra’s wedding.” She said viciously.

Eddie groaned as he raised his head to watch the screen. Bill’s younger brother Georgie had filmed people talking about Bill and Audra. He put the most unfortunate video, starring Eddie and Richie, on the internet for the world to see.

Video Eddie looked miserable and spaced out. Georgie had to say his name three times before Eddie looked up and hiccuped. “Oh hey, Georgie!” Video Eddie said enthusiastically. “Having fun kiddo?”

“I’m 21, Eddie. Not really a kid anymore.” Georgie’s voice said laughing.

“Stay a kid forever,” Eddie begged him.

“Ok, Eddie. What do you want to say to Bill and Audra?”

“Bill...I want you to know that you are the bravest man alive and I would die for you. Audra, you better be good to him.” Video Eddie points at the camera and almost falls forward. Suddenly, video Richie appears, catching him. He giggles bopping video Richie on the nose and keeping his face precariously close to video Richie’s face.

Video Eddie frowns suddenly and looks back at the camera, “But don’t fall too too in love. You might get your heart broken like me. Love is dumb. Women are dumb. They don’t really care about you.”

Video Richie had his hair slicked back and was laughing at video Eddie’s truths, “Eds! This day isn’t about you. It’s about Bill and Audra. We should be telling stories about them!”

“Oh god,” Eddie said as his stomach turned reliving the next part again.

“So Audra, let me tell you about Bill’s first time. He had a girlfriend in high school, blonde and pretty, much like yourself and they were dating for about…”

Video Eddie hiccups, “4 months.” Then smashes his face into video Richie’s neck. “You smell like whiskey.” He winces.

Video Richie laughed, cheeks reddening from drunkenness, “Thank you, Eds. When they decided to fuck for the first time, he got everything all set and she came over that evening. As he was eating her out.”

“Richie, kids could see this.” Video Georgie warned through obvious laughter.

“As Bill was going downtown on her hoo-hoo she got a little too excited and shat the bed.” All three men were shrieking with laughter. Video Eddie wrapped his arms around video Richie, shaking uncontrollably with glee. Despite the horribleness of the situation, Eddie smiled a little. “Now it’s unclear where all the crap ended up but we can guess that…”

Beverly stopped the video glaring at Richie intently. Eddie looked at him and he only smiled. “We won’t even get into the nuclear mess that was Stanley and Patti Uris’s wedding right now. But we want you both to have a date so there is no chance of you completely embarrassing me, Ben, and yourselves.”

Eddie scoffed, “Richie embarrasses himself on every date he goes on. What makes you think one brought to the wedding will be any better?”

“Oh yeah?” Richie gazed at him steadily. Eddie braced himself for the incoming insult. As much as he could dish it, he rarely could take it. Especially against Richie’s quick tongue, “And when was the last time you even fucking went on a date to embarrass yourself?”

“I can get dates!”

“A night alone with your right hand isn’t a date.”

“Shut the fuck up, Trashmouth!”

Suddenly, two armchair pillows smacked the side of Eddie and Richie’s heads. They both rounded on Beverly and Ben but the stare of death Beverly was giving stopped their prepared protests.

“If you assholes want to come to my wedding,”

“Our wedding…” Ben whispered.

She turned her ever reddening face, almost the color of her hair, at her financé, “Not if you correct me, Benjamin! Don’t make me marry myself!” She focused back on Eddie and Richie, pointing a bitten nail at them menacingly. “...you will have dates and BEHAVE at the reception or so help me, I’ll castrate you!”

There was a pregnant pause broken by the one who can never stay quiet long. “What about the ceremony?” Richie responded, “Can I at least ruin that?”

She stared at him, everyone ready for more yelling but instead she broke into a gorgeous smile and laughed. It lightened the moment but Eddie didn’t find he felt any less anxious. He fully contemplated this enormous request from his friends. Finding a good wedding date took time, he only ever had committed relationships. Well, the one with Myra. As much as Richie’s words hurt, he was right. Eddie didn’t go on dates. People didn’t tend to find him datable. “Too short, too high maintenance, too weird” were just a few of the flaws that consumed him. He had no clue how he was expected to get someone to go to this wedding with him.

The four of them started discussing wedding details, Beverly and Richie talking a mile a minute about everything that had to get done. He was especially excited to plan a bachelorette party. With how much money Ben and Bev make, it sounded like they would get their dream wedding easily.

Eddie was thrilled for them but that pang of being single and now having to find a date was eating him alive for the two more hours they stayed. When they finally called it a night, Beverly and Ben hugged them promising to talk tomorrow.

Richie did not follow them out which meant he wanted to drink and talk more, probably spend the night there. Eddie had a guest room that was essentially Richie’s room since he spent the most time there.

“You want ice cream?” Richie shouted from the kitchen where he was most likely opening another bottle of wine.

“With chocolate syrup!” Eddie yelled back.

“Oh, chocolate syrup night means major troubles.” Richie laughed.

“What are we gonna do Rich?” Eddie whined miserably. “Or rather, what the fuck am I going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“About the fucking dates!” Eddie laid sideways on the couch, grabbing the cushion pillow and placing it over his face to scream into.

“Don’t be a drama queen.” Richie said. The couch shifted as he sat down by Eddie’s legs.

“That’s easy for you to say.” Eddie mumbled into the pillow.

Two hands extracted the pillow from his face. Eddie kept his eyes scrunched closed. “I can’t speak pillow.”

Eddie huffed out, “It’s easy for you to not be worried. You are a serial dater.”

“Open your eyes, Eds.” Richie chuckled. Eddie opened them to pout childishly at him.

He had his smirky smile on, which could only mean he had a terrible idea. “I have a great idea to get us out of getting actual dates.”

Eddie stared at him from his laid down position, probably giving Richie an unattractive double chin, “There is no loophole in this agreement, Rich. Beverly was really fucking clear. We have to have dates.”

“And we will.” Richie poured wine into both their glasses. He handed it to Eddie, forcing him to sit up in order to drink it. While Eddie drank normally, Richie downed his quickly then licked his lips.

“Who am I gonna have to take to Ben and Beverly’s wedding?”

Richie watched him carefully, opened his mouth and said, “You’ll take me. I will be your wedding date. And by default, you will be mine” Eddie’s mouth dropped and Richie clinked his empty glass with Eddie’s full one.

______________________

In honor of IT: Chapter 2 coming out soon, I have begun writing this fake dating idea! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, comment here or on archive and let me know your thoughts and feels! The title is thanks to Slashpalooza on tumblr who asked me a million years ago to write something with this title!

Tag List (Starting a new tag list since I don’t know who is still around in the fandom. Let me know if you want to be tagged):

@sarah011 @pan-ini @frankeeenstein @sam-i-am2468 @eds-kas @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @roobarrtrashmouth @hypnoidvoid @imeddie @slashpalooza @reddieforlove

#reddie #fake dating au #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #welcome home losers club #benverly #ben hanscom #beverly marsh #the losers club #fanfiction #it fandom #cursing #gay #i am a loser #Why Can't This Be Love #shannon writes

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tabloidtoc · 4 years

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Globe, December 28

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Farewell to 93 legends we loved and lost in 2020

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Steve Martin holds a green pepper on the NYC set of Only Murders in the Building, Derek Hough is light on his feet at the MTV Movie & TV Awards

Page 3: Julia Roberts looks scary skinny during a solo stroll in Hawaii, Chris Pratt hoists a hoverboard during an L.A. workout

Page 4: Troubled twosome Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi are hoping to put their year from hell behind them by renewing their vows over the holidays in a desperate big to keep their love alive -- Ellen wants to prove her long-suffering wife comes first ahead of Ellen’s daytime talk show and her many celebrity friends and is going all out to show it -- penny-pincher Ellen opened her wallet as wide as her heart telling Portia she could spend whatever she wants on clothes, food, drinks, music and invite whoever she wants at the New Year’s vow ceremony on a Santa Barbara beach

Page 5: Obsessive Blake Shelton is so stressed over his upcoming wedding to Gwen Stefani he’s turning into the Groomzilla from hell -- he is sparing no expense and shelling out millions to redo his Oklahoma ranch to impress the couple’s Tinseltown friends but the mountain of stuff still to be done is driving him around the bend even though no one’s putting pressure on him but he’s obsessed with the wedding details and driving his staff crazy with his constant orders and revisions -- he’s building a chapel on the ranch and a lighted boat for a romantic wedding cruise on the lake and picking the style of the canopy for the banquet floor and re-landscaping the grounds and adding a color-themed garden

* Kenya Moore of Real Housewives of Atlanta reveals she went on a date with Kanye West but bolted when she caught him watching inappropriate flicks -- she described the outing with Kanye as a disaster date and they ended up going to his house where he left her alone, wandering around and when she followed the noises he was watching something on TV that he probably shouldn’t have been and that was her exit

Page 6: Matthew Perry was such a slave to his addiction his former galpal Kayti Edwards says he’d send her to score drugs while she was pregnant and Matthew insisted she was the perfect drug mule because he believed cops wouldn’t stop a gal in her condition Kayti claims in a shocking tell-all about her 2011 romance with Matthew -- she says his ravenous cravings for cocaine and heroin were so out of control that he once superglued his hands to his legs and he took up to 80 Vicodin pills daily -- Kayti claims she was trying to protect Matthew because she feared he’d end up wandering around the streets and being nabbed by cops or snapped by photogs but she was also getting paid big bucks like $3000 to $4000 a day

Page 7: Duchess Camilla’s taste for an early morning tipple has rubbed off on husband Prince Charles who is now so hooked on the sauce he starts the day guzzling a powerful gin martini with breakfast and now Charles’ alarmed staffers and pals are talking about an intervention to remind him not to go down the path that put his second wife in rehab -- Charles’ booze consumption has been off the charts for years but drinking first thing in the morning with his breakfast is a new low -- Charles laughs off suggestions he has a booze issue but one look at his bloodshot face tells the story

* Now that a COVID-19 vaccine’s been approved in Britain Queen Elizabeth says she’s going to get the shot but wait her turn instead of pulling royal rank but she and husband Prince Philip won’t wait long because at their ages they’re in the second group to get the vaccine which is health care workers and people over 80

Page 8: Helena Bonham Carter has a world-shakin’ suggestion for gals frustrated by the COVID-19 lockdown: get a vibrator -- she says women shouldn’t worry about snaring a beau during the pandemic but that’s easy for her to say because she’s currently cuddling with toyboy writer Rye Dag Holmboe

* George Clooney confesses wife Amal Clooney had him shaking in his boots when he popped the question and she didn’t answer -- he asked her out of the blue but instead of squealing yes immediately the brainy lawyer just stood there -- George says he was on his knee for like 20 minutes and finally said he was going to throw his hip out -- Amal finally agreed and the couple have three-year-old twins

* The nip/tuck freak daughter of Olivia Newton-John is being blasted as a hypocrite for coming out against the new COVID-19 vaccines -- Chloe Lattanzi claims she doesn’t trust doctors or the vaccine but critics note she had no problem shelling out an estimated $550,000 to plastic surgeons for nose jobs, super-sized boobs and ballooned lips

Page 9: Since his life-threatening health scare game show icon Pat Sajak’s been testy and snapping at contestants and crew members leaving insiders fearing he’s heading for a breakdown -- the once-cheery Wheel of Fortune host is a different man since recovering from emergency surgery for a blocked intestine and is having difficulty coping with the workload -- he just can’t keep up with the pace and he’s pushed to the very limit and can’t seem to function doing this job and it’s all spilling over and manifesting into these ugly outbursts which are shocking viewers -- he even glares at long-time help-mate Vanna White when he gets frustrated or forgetful and she is really too nice to complain about it but she’s definitely been taken aback by his behavior

Page 10: Proof UFOs are real -- new photos taken by Navy jets reveal we are not alone

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- WWE legend Ric Flair (picture), Real Housewives of Orange County’s Braunwyn Windham-Burke maintains she’s not attracted to men despite renewing her wedding vows with her husband of over two decades -- she says she is gay but she loves husband Sean Burke and they plan on staying married although they don’t sleep in the same bedroom and they are raising their kids together but he knows the girl she’s dating and he’s been given the thumbs-up to date too, Liam Payne believes he’s being haunted by spooks -- convinced spooky spirits were inhabiting his West London digs Liam moved but spooks popped up at the new pad and he thinks the new house is even more haunted than the old one, George Clooney handpicked an even better looking doppelganger to play his younger self in his new flick The Midnight Sky who is screen legend Gregory Peck’s grandson Ethan Peck -- George said it was tricky because people know what he looked like when he was 35 years old but he rejected the high-tech gizmos used to weirdly reverse Robert De Niro’s age in The Irishman but he did mix his voice with Ethan’s since his voice is pretty recognizable, Matthew McConaughey’s kids Levi and Vida used their phones to photograph him for his latest magazine covers because of quarantine they couldn’t do normal photoshoots so the kids became the photographers

Page 13: Tom Arnold dines out in Rome (picture), Aubrey O’Day (picture), Brooke Burke in Mexico (picture), pregnant Meghan Trainor was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and she’s healthy and her baby boy is healthy but she has to really pay attention to everything she eats

Page 14: Luke Evans denies hiding in the closet to advance his Hollywood career saying it was the last thing he had because everything else he’d given to the world and adding that he left home at 16 because he was gay and went into the world as a kid because he had to, Mindy Kaling managed to keep two pregnancies under cover and kept the kids’ middle names under wraps until now -- a fan wondered why Mindy who is of a Indian heritage gave her kids Caucasian names but their names are Katherine Swati and Spencer Avu

* Fashion Verdict -- Blanca Suarez 3/10, Olivia Palermo 1/10, Nicky Hilton 9/10, Bella Heathcote 2/10, Catt Sadler 8/10

Page 16: True Crime

Page 17: Martha Stewart confesses her painful divorce in 1990 was a terrible thing and she hasn’t talked to ex-husband Andrew Stewart since but she bounced back from the pain and her infamous prison stint because she’s very strong and motivated to get on with life -- still Martha admits being dumped by her husband for another woman after 29 years of marriage nearly did her in -- Martha also reveals serving five months in West Virginia in 2004 on a federal insider stock trading rap was a struggle but she got through it by working on her arts and crafts

Page 19: 10 Things You Don’t Know About Don Lemon

* Dolly Parton pulled no punches when discussing her longtime romance with Carl Dean dishing she and her husband have been together for 57 years and married for 54 and she’s sick of him and she’s sure he’s sick of her -- the couple have rarely been seen in public together and she says their marriage succeeds because she stays gone and they’re not in each other’s faces all the time

* Miley Cyrus says she’s mastered the art of staying safe during lockdown love and it’s by having online sex -- she said the safest sex in these COVID-crazy times is the virtual kind and that’s where Miley has been hooking up

Page 21: Cover Story -- Thanks for the Memories -- tribute to the stars we loved and lost in 2020

Page 22: Alex Trebek

Page 23: Kobe Bryant and daughter Gianna, Kelly Preston

Page 24: Kirk Douglas, Sean Connery

Page 25: Olivia de Havilland, Chadwick Boseman

Page 26: Robert Conrad, Naya Rivera

Page 27: Regis Philbin

Page 28: Kenny Rogers, Roy Horn

Page 29: Eddie Van Halen, Little Richard

Page 36: Health Report -- eating bread can toast your brain

Page 38: Ghostbusters icon Dan Aykroyd has turned into a ghoulish recluse who rarely leaves his $25 million Martha’s Vineyard estate where he’s now eerily planning his own funeral -- the bizarre 68-year-old appears perfectly healthy yet he spooks around in his bed clothes muttering about who he wants to officiate at his memorial service and the goodies the chef should serve at the wake -- the curious thing is he appears to be in no danger of dropping dead anytime soon and he’s sturdy as a horse which is surprising given the cigars and the vodka and the big meals he enjoys -- Dan’s wife of 37 years Donna Dixon has gotten used to her husband’s ghoulish monologues

* Bob Dylan sold his extensive back catalog of more than 600 songs including Blowin’ in the Wind and Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door to Universal Music in a blockbuster deal topping $300 million

Page 40: Patrick Stewart confesses he’s been furious all his life and he’s still seeing a shrink to control his rage -- he reveals he’s burned with rage inside since childhood when he witnessed his dad’s violence against his mom and he had to suppress all that anger -- at age 14 he feared he’d explode and kill his headmaster when he caned him and later he worried he’d hurt his two children with first wife Sheila Falconer in a fit of fury and now at age 80 it’s still there so he sees a therapist every week

Page 44: Straight Talk -- The Weeknd has his nose out of joint because he wasn’t nominated for any Grammys this year and he claims he’s being snubbed because he’ll be starring on the February 7 Super Bowl halftime show a week after the Grammys

Page 45: Jeffrey Epstein’s accused madam Ghislaine Maxwell is a paranoid mess losing her hair and wasting away in federal prison where she’s terrified shadowy forces have marked her for death -- the shrinking British socialite who denies recruiting and grooming underage girls for Epstein’s twisted lust is charged with sex trafficking minors as she rots in Brooklyn’s Metropolitan Detention Center awaiting trial next year

Page 47: Bizarre But True

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riderdrauggrim · 4 years

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Bored at the Hotel Storytime.

So last week when I was at the West Edmonton Mall to see the spectacle of it all, and check out the new Drive! indoor electric multi-level go-kart track, I wandered past a Build-A-Bear. It was only 8:20pm but most of the shops were shuttered closed, including this one.

I knew of Build-A-Bears, but I'd never seen a store in person, so I lingered and peered through the gate at the plush displays inside.

And that's when I saw.

Him.

I'm a sucker for Werewolves, always have been, since the day my dad gave me a Monster In My Pocket trading card he'd found on the ground outside a 7-11 back in '91. It was a little scuffed from being on the ground. But it was beautiful.

(Photo from an Ebay sale)

I remember saving up my holiday money and being taken to Toys 'R' Us on 87 Meadowvale Drive, St. Catharines (still there!). I picked out a pack with a Red Werewolf, because Red was Cool. He was the leader of my assorted monsters and plastic animals.

Look at that poise! That drama!

One thing led to another, in the late 90's and early 20's I collected Werewolf: The Apocalypse RPG sourcebooks. Eventually got damn near every book in my collection. Bought the Glaive. The mug. The hat. The necklace (still wear it). The novels. Chased down Rage CCG cards at comic shops throughout the Golden Horseshoe.

Funded the Kickstarter for the 20th anniversary reprint/master edition, even went in for the limited metal plate cover version.

Still have never played a single game of it.

Lamented at the lack of GOOD werewolf movies. Dog Soldiers (2002) and Van Hellsing (2004) are about the only ones I'll accept stylistically. But I'm just picky.

So back to WEM. There's this little dude. Smiling up at my with his badass 90's skater boy getup. My hyper fixation locked in. I spent the night looking up Build-A-Bear online. Turned out he was last year's special, so these must just be extra shells kicking around.

There was some sort of sale on. Buy one, get one (equal or lesser value) 10$. Shit. How could I not. I found the PERFECT critter for Garwik. The next day, I returned.

I was nervous, at first, was it weird? A grown person getting a custom stuffed animal? And then I overheard another dude sheepishly admitting to the cashier that the one he'd made was for himself. He'd got one for his nephew and liked it so much he wanted one too. Awww.

Okay so, maybe a little weird, but apparently not uncommon.

The cheerful staff member picked up the unstuffed shells I pointed out, and with me manning the air blower and her working the body around, we socially distanced assembled the plushies. In go the hearts. In go the optional smell satchettes (vanilla in the head for my werewolf, bubblegum in the body for Garwik's monkey). Now to go pick accessories.

Oh.

Ohhhhh.

THIS is how they "get you". Sure, I was getting two foot tall plush animals for like 40 bucks total. But the outfits. The outfits.

8 bucks for a hat. 15 bucks for a pant/jacket set. 18 bucks for a Star Wars tie-in outfit. Boots. Things to hold. Glasses. Pants. Shirts. Accessories. Iiiiiii get it now.

Well, in for a penny, in for a pound.

So while I'm Hrmming and Hawwwwing about what top looks cool, a gaggle of young adults stumble past in the concourse.

"Build-A-Bear!" one of them exclaims loudly, slowing down. The other pause. A mixed gender group, I didn't take a headcount but about three guys and three gals. Mid-20's at the most.

"Lookit all the stuffed animals!" someone else says. At first they're making fun of it, but within seconds someone declares "We should all get one!" This idea is an immediate success. "Yah!" "We should!" "Let's all get one!" "Can we come in? Do we have time?"

It was 20 minutes to closing but the worker gamely let the young people past the social distancing barrier, and they swarmed the unstuffed body display, pointing out which ones they were going to get. She scooped up the decisions, moving the whole pack over to the stuffing blower, and had them operate the air as she filled their choices. The scent options ramped up the group's already palpable excitement.

As she offered the first plushie to the owner for a squish test, and then flipped it around for the heart insertion, a decision was made. "No, we're gonna put the hearts in all at the same time!" This might have surprised the employee, but she laughed and went along with it. Several nearly completed bodies later, she had them each choose a heart and instructed them each to hug it. And then. Rub it on their hearts. And then rub it on their heads! Now rub it on their toes!

I'm cashing out while all this was going on behind me. It was complete goofery. The enthusiasm of the worker was the same cheerful joyous supportive silliness as a camp counselor leading a group of six year olds in a game. And these young men and women were LOVING it. They did every ridiculous maneuver they were instructed, laughing at the 'childishness' of it all, but not a one complaining, or calling it stupid.

I don't know why, but that incident made me unbelievably happy.

I think, too often, people are so stressed to 'grow up' and 'act your age', that they forget how much fun it can be to just. Enjoy silly things. To spin in a circle and rub a cloth heart on your tummy. To buy a stuffed animal with your best friends.

I wish them all the best.

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kooala · 4 years

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since I feel stressed about not being able to pack all my crap until tomorrow, I’ll do the only responsible thing and do a tag instead of finishing packing boxes 🤡 thank you @kimsouthjoon for tagging me, love!

1. What colours is your hairbrush?

black

2. What food would you never eat?

so I have this unreasonable hate for fennel? so.. that I assume

3. Are you usually hot or cold?

I’m a person that’s ALWAYS warm even in the coldest of winter

4. What did you do 45 minutes ago?

pack boxes 💀

5. Favourite chocolate?

don’t LOVE chocolate but I love giotto.. you know those little balls with hazelnut? yessss

6. Have you ever been at a professional sports event?

Yea I’ve been to a couple of Yankees baseball games in the states and I’ve been to a Patriots football game!

7. What was the last thing you said out loud?

"Was soll der scheiß?” because the carton broke

8. Favourite ice cream flavour?

mint chocolate chip from baskin robbins

9. What was the last thing you drank?

woootah

10. What kind of wallet do you have?

I have a small chanel one in all black (the linked one isn’t the one I have because mine is last leason, but mine looks the same just in black with gold details - obviously mine wasn’t calf leather for 3.000 bucks but it was expensive enough thank you 😂 )

11. What was the last thing you ate?

oven baked feta with tomatoes, olives, spring onions and garlic

12. Did you buy clothes last weekend?

shoes... bought Jungkook’s FILA’s just to return them becuase I look like a construction worker when I wear them (,:

13. What was the last sports event you saw?

erm.. no clue

14. Favourite snacks?

dried mango

15. Who was the last one you texted to?

@cultleaderyoongi 😂😂 to be fair, that jungkook video killed me

16. Do you like camping?

yes! especially for festivals

17. Do you eat vitamins?

nah only when I have a cold

18. When was the last time you travelled?

Went to visit my best friend in Edinburgh for Hogmanay!

19. Do you like sunbathing?

I do but I’m so fair skinned that I can only do it for like 20 minutes and after that I have freckles all over my face and weirdly enough - knees...

20. Asian or Italian food?

pizza all day every day

21. Do you drink soda?

nah, sometimes I buy a SUGA free if I really crave sweets and I don’t want to eat chocolate.

22. What colour socks are you wearing now?

black and white stripes

23. When was the last time you were speeding?

oh I got a ticket a week ago haha

24. What are you afraid of?

not many things but I can’t get over my fear of spiders

25. What can you see if you turn left?

my homepod

26. What kind of housework you like the least?

... none XD I like using window cleaner on stuff though! spray it babyyy

27. What is the first thing you think of when you hear someone talking in a language you don’t know?

nothing? sometimes I wonder which language it is and if I hear someone struggle in a different language I’m able to speak, like if they’re tourists and they’re looking for something, I chime in to help

28. Do you sleep on your back or side?

stomach

29. You crave fast food, where do you go?

.. I hate to say it and I rarely eat it but when I crave it I go for a whopper

30. What is your lucky number?

don’t have one

31. Who was the last person you talked to?

my mom

32. Do you eat meat?

Not at home, like I don’t cook it or buy any but (rarely) when I feel like eating something at a restaurant or take away, I don’t restrict myself.

33. What was the last song you listened?

Just One Day - BTS

34. Last book?

last ones I read was Simon Beckett, chemistry of the dead series

35. What is your favourite day of the week?

probably friday

36. Do you know the alphabet song backwards?

.. am I supposed to? is that a thing?

37. Favourite coffee/tea?

I like Americanos or caramel macchiatos ( don’t @ me) and milk tea

38. Favourite shoes?

the ones I wear most right now are my Nike Air Max 200 or my old school vans

39. When do you usually go to sleep?

when I have to work I try to aim for 11/12

40. When do you usually wake up?

6.30 when I work, weekends usually 9

41. Sunrise or sunset?

sunset

42. Do you like your bed soft or hard?

I like harder beds! hate memory foam

43. Describe the plate you are eating from

white plate with a black outline, looks like a handmade one

44. Your favourite type of alcohol

I always drink white wine or vodka with paloma and if you don’t know what paloma is I highly suggest you find out!! it’s mexican lemonade you can drink on it’s own!! so good

45. Do you like board games?

oh I’m super competitive so yeee kasdfhs

46. If you had a car, what kind would it be?

I’m driving this one and I love it, if I could get another one it’d be a g wagon

47. Do you know how to change car tires?

yes because I never wanted to be the girl having to ask for car help

48. Dream country

I’d move back to New York if I had the chance

49. If you could choose from any jobs in the world, what would you like to do?

Something with talent coaching, like helping artists grow and stuff

50. What would you like to try to do? And what is stopping you?

I’d really want to do scuba diving but I want to finish school before I do that

thanks again for tagging me!! I’ll tag these lovely beans:

@bangtan-madi @cultleaderyoongi @jamkookies @eslebt @bitoftaewithsugaandkookie and the rest I’ve tagged so much I feel guilty so if you want to do it, be my guest! haha

#tag #personal

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goodwriterwithbadhabits · 5 years

Text

Do Me a Favor

Master List

The storm clouds filled the sky as you walked slowly down the back alleys. After everything that had been happening recently, your entire body just felt empty. Your mother had just passed, your boyfriend had broken up with you, only to confess his love for your best friend, and so many other things that continued to pile up.

You were hoping someone would jump out of the shadows and attack you, just to feel that rush of fear, but it seemed even the unsavory types had gone away to hide from the biting wind and looming storm. To your luck, however, there seemed to be a group of large burly men crowded around a van just a few streets ahead of you. You opened your wallet, finding a 20 dollar bill inside and concocted your plan.

"Hey. You." You called to one of the larger men, who was wearing a mesh shirt and leather pants. He turned to you, a bright smile on his face which quickly turned to confusion when he saw your disheveled state. He was pretty cute, you couldn't even deny that, but he looked strong enough to do some real damage.

"Me?" He asked, making you nod as you fished the knife out of your pocket.

"Yeah. Do me a favor," You tossed him the knife which he fumbled with but caught. "Mug me, I want to feel something."

"Woah, what?" He asked, still cupping the knife in both hands.

"Just come at me with the knife." You gestured to the weapon in his hand. "I'll pay you 20 bucks. Cash." He looked down at his hands, letting out a small shriek and dropping it.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Someone shouted.

"Are you out of your mind?" Another yelled.

"Hyungwon, Minhyuk, stop." The man you had been talking to ordered. He never broke eye contact with you as he set his large hands on your shoulders. "I'm not going to attack you. There are other things you can feel than fear or adrenalin." You stared at him in shock, heart beginning to flutter.

"I-I..." You had no idea how to react. This huge, beefy guy was a total sweetheart, there had to be some catch.

"Why don't you guys head home?" He told his friends. "I'll buy you a drink." He smiled warmly at you and you attempted to calm your racing heart.

"Hey keep us updated man." One of them asked, slapping him on the shoulder.

"Anything happens and we'll make an appearance." The second largest man told him, climbing into the passenger seat of the van.

"No worries, I'm sure I'll be fine." The buff guy smiled at you, making your heart literally stop. He bent down as the van drive off, picking up the knife and pocketing it. "Come along." He held out a hand, the soft smile never leaving his face.

You honestly could have cried.

You would have been perfectly happy to sit in silence but he had other plans. After buying you a large glass of something strong and fruity, he proceeded to talk your ear off.

"I'm Lee Hoseok, my friends call me Wonho. I'm a singer and dancer in a band, we play here most nights. The two that freaked out were Hyungwon, the tall one with the long dark hair, and Minhyuk, the shorter one with the strong jawline." He chattered. He talked about everything from his music career to the subjects he was studying in college, to the feeling you get when you walk in the rain.

"Alright, what's the catch." You blurted. He abruptly stopped talking, staring at you in shock.

"What do you mean?" He asked, looking at you with big puppy eyes.

"I mean, you're handsome, you're nice, you just bought a random stranger, who literally asked you to stab her, a drink. What's the catch? You gonna drug me? Kill me? Or are you gonna-"

"I'm gonna stop you there." He laughed, holding up his hands. "I don't want to hurt you. I can't even kill spiders, I have to get Kihyun to do it for me." You stared at each other in shock, before you suddenly found yourself laughing like a mad man. He joined you in your laughter, shoulders shaking as he hid his face.

"Are you for real? You cant kill spiders?" You asked, sides hurting from laughing so much. You weren’t sure why you found this so funny.

"Hey! They have an advantage! They have four times as many eyes and twice as many limbs. Its an unfair fight." He defended. You could feel tears pricking your eyes as you burst out laughing again.

"God I haven't laughed this much in ages." You gasped, clutching your side.

"Well, I'm glad I could be of assistance."

"Thank you. I really needed this."

"Can I walk you home?" He offered. "I need to be heading home anyway, otherwise Shownu might end up killing me." He joked.

"Yeah, no problem."

The two of you walked towards your apartment, chatting about nothing and everything. Just as you arrived at the gate you turned back to him, wanting to thank him again.

"Here." He held out your knife, and you realized how unfitting it seemed. This wonderfully nice man holding a dangerous weapon.

"Thank you. I'm sorry I asked you to do that." You apologized, taking the knife back.

"Its okay. You just need to remember that there are more emotions than negative ones." He smiled at you and you couldn't help smile back. "Here. Anytime you need to be reminded about tonight, call me." He handed you a napkin with a number scrawled on it.

"Did you write this in the bar?" You asked, seeing the logo on the paper.

"Maybe."

#goodwriterwithbadhabits #imagines #monsta x wonho #monsta x #monsta x imagine #monsta x imagines #wonho imagine #wonho imagines #lee hoseok imagine #lee hoseok #lee hoseok imagines

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julietookoff · 4 years

Text

Elvis, Storage Wars and Pandemics - An Update from Las Vegas

Things are good here. We pay a little extra for a bigger ex-house trailer lot with room to park the van. We've got a little shade, too.

We watched the weather impatiently and finally arrived at King's Row in early October. The plan WAS to head north in the spring. We were going to a buffet once or twice a week and enjoying the huge selection of fast food restaurants (compared to Las Vegas, NM). Our favorite buffets are at Sam's Town and the Orleans casinos, where we gamble $5 each and get free lunch buffets. It didn't take long to find the Pink Box donuts, but they are across town and a little pricey. We got Cox cable set up at our lot, which we sooo much appreciated during the Wuhan virus months. While in NM I had gotten hooked on dumpster-diving and storage auction videos on YouTube. I found out dumpster-diving is illegal in Las Vegas, so we started going to storage auctions. My best finds were three 925 silver rings, each in a different unit. And the cash. I found a $20 bill in a BDU top and tons of spare change. A neighbor who was moving gave us a 10x10 canopy for shade while sorting.

You get tons of household stuff for just a few bucks. We can't handle mattresses and big furniture with just the little Jeep. Although the bulk of stuff goes to GoodWill, I have made over a thousand dollars on eBay and FB Marketplace. One week I went to the post office four out of five days. Some Mondays I go twice a day. We've sold TVs, game systems, games, a Kindle Oasis, a webcam, sets of high-end clothes and Nike/Jordans, Navy BDUs and uniforms, sets of books, lots of bikes, cell phones, IKEA end tables and lots of misc. At one unit I paid $35 and another bidder immediately bought two folding tables for $40.

Some of the more odd finds were a Nissan Leaf charger, some HVAC baffles, digital surveying tools, a 4' long aquarium, a digital darkroom timer, a 1972 signed Munich Olympics print (I still haven't sold this), 7 sets of barn door hardware, horse tack, meth, morphine, narcan, Rx pills (some the same that we take), tons of driver's licenses, Clark County jail IDs and some giant grow lights. We bought about 25 units until the Pandemic shut them down. They ranged in price from $5 to $85. I plan to continue when we settle down in Florida, where we'll have at least three good flea markets where we can sell stuff (last I checked). Then whatever is left will go to GoodWill. We were thinking about getting a cargo trailer here, but the BMV is closed and they won't even answer eMails about out-of-staters getting tags for trailers.

I finally gave up my flip phone for a "Smart" phone. I use it for as little as possible to avoid swearing like a drunk sailor.

Corny went to four Penn & Teller "Fool Us" tapings at the Rio casino. They will start to air on June 22.

Our Wuhan Virus Experience:

January 25th we went to the Ethel M chocolate factory in Henderson to redeem a "Tasting" groupon. We pulled into the lot and there was a tour bus parked out front. Chinese people, most of them wearing masks, were coming and going. We were aware of the virus at that time and that it was spreading from China. One of the masked women asked me to take her picture in the cactus garden - I made a rude face and waved her away. I wasn't going to touch her germy phone.

I signed up at Planet Fitness February 25. They closed a couple weeks later.

March 9th we went to the last storage auction before the Stay-at-Home season.

We started loading up on TP and food before it was popular. Before masks, every time I went to Wally's I loaded up on this n' that. When the shelves started going bare (around March 15th here), we were all set. I had three boxes of gloves, two from storage units, and a total of seven N-95 masks. The first Clark County Wuhan virus death was on March 16th. I found out why our Wal-Mart is so crazy busy all the time. While I was sitting in the Jeep waiting for Corny to buy and install a new battery, I watched a continuous parade of bus people filing back and forth from the store to the bus stop. We started going to a less germy Wally's a bit farther from home.

Corny got a second Shingles vaccine at Sam's Club. I was off wandering around shopping. Later when he wasn't feeling well I asked him what his temperature had been at Sam's. They hadn't taken it! I couldn't believe it. It's kinda standard you make sure someone isn't sick before you innoculate them!

We each got our $1200 Wuhan checks on the first round. I donated mine to Chase Bank. Corny donated his to CitiBank.

There were no casinos, buffets or auctions during "quarantine". Other than a little boredom, basically we just took our laziness to a higher level. We were used to laziness. I feel for the people with kids - and the poor kids. Geocaching Headquarters cancelled all events and the big August Geo-gatherings in Seattle and British Columbia. Corny was sad because he couldn't take the van to see State Parks, museums and such. He finally made it out west and everything was closed! He wants to stay here through the summer and take van trips to cooler places, instead of moving the bigass RV up north. I would like to head home to Florida in the fall and see about buying some land and settling down. Corny will have to use the van for extended trips out west.

Corny took the top of the engine off the Jeep to change the spark plugs. Turns out one of the cylinder heads may be bad. If so, it is a $4000 fix. Or not fix. We've gotten used to the check engine light.

Geocaching-wise, we've been to several local events. At one we donated about a dozen ready-to-go spray painted/repurposed Sam's Club-sized M&M/cashew containers. I've taken several big solo Jeep trips to complete the NV Delorme challenge. I found a nice Challenge Row just north of St. George, UT. All six of us took a nice little van trip on Route 66 (first picture, above) from Kingman, AZ to Seligman to use up the old gas in the tank. After spending 1/2 hour wiping down everything in a few germy hotel rooms, I started sleeping in the Jeep every other night. I have a pizza-shaped pool float that fits perfectly. I was almost done planning a big UT van trip when the auctions started back up.

Now when I go on a trip, I have to end 60-70 eBay listings. If I were willing to pay eBay about $5/month I could do it with one click, but I feel like I give eBay/PayPal way more than enough money already. Certainly more than they deserve. They charge auctioneer prices because they can, but in reality all they are is a listing service like Craig's List, FB MarketPlace and Offer Up, which are all free. We do all the hard work. FeeBay just sits ontheirass and sucks money. Do I sound cynical?

I've saved geocaching for last because I've got lots of pix. Here ya' go.

^St. George, UT

New Harmony, UT

Just inside CA from Pahrump, NV

^Donner Party camp

^Lake Tahoe, CA side

^Pyramid Lake, NV

Salt Flats - lots of motorcycles speeding across here.

^Picked up a handsome Travel Bug

Filthy Jeep

^I left a mud ring in the parking lot of Flying J after it rained

^I did a little boulder jumping

^I had a little talk with this sweet lil’ quail in Gerlach, NV

Life is Godd! We fit out.

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dar-manda-rjct · 5 years

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30 OC Questions~♧

Thanks to @fangirl-ramblings for tagging me!

Idk who to tag but if you wanna do it, go for it and tag me, I'd love to read about your OCs! :]

1. When they tap their fingers do they use the pads of their fingers or their nails? Nails, Elizabeth likes the pushing feeling against her nails, plus her fingernails are rather long.

2. What textures can they absolutely not stand? Scales and coarse hair, like on a boar and she hates to handle fishies, mostly because they jerk around and it intimidates her.

3. How long can they go without bathing before they feel gross? A few days at least, the longest she's gone without bathing was a month when she ran away from home.

4. Do they leave clothes everywhere? It's all shoved into a bag by her bedroll in case the camp is invaded and they had to run

5. Do they sleep with the bedroom door open or closed? Elizabeth prefers it closed but when she feels sad or lonely she'll keep it open to look at the night sky.

6. Which do they prefer: 3 am or 3 pm? As mentioned before, she likes the night sky. Her mother used to tell her that when she died she would join the sky as a star, Elizabeth would stay up till the wee hours of the night to just stare at the moon and stars.

7. If they suddenly woke up with animal ears and tails what animal would they be? I think Elizabeth would be a fox, she's sly and sneaky and her laugh is funny.

8. If they could only eat one thing for 20 days straight what would it be? Whitetail deer, preferably doe because the meat on a buck is tougher.

9. Are they the type to re-read a book? When she's not out on a job, running around camp doing chores or telling stories of her own she'll pick up her worn, leatherbound book on ancient Egypt, a gift from Arthur.

10. Would they want to know the exact date and time of their death? Nope, she doesn't want to be fearful of the day when it does come

11. What’s their favorite mythological creature? She used to read books on Greek mythology as a little girl (ramblings if you're reading this, I think Lilly and Elizabeth would be best fricken friends). She is fascinated by the chimera but she likes the heiracosphinx the best.

12. If they had to listen to one song on repeat for 100+ times what would it be? Elizabeth could watch at Javier play guitar forever, she sometimes loses track of time. Her favorite songs either than the ones Javier sings are "O Mollie" "Ring-dang-doo" "Let us Merry Be" "Dan Taylor" "Dirty Little Whore" and "Thieving Line".

13. Do they believe in an afterlife? She's hopeful for one and hopeful that she gets there.

14. When they get tired do their eyelids twitch? No, she will nod off while sitting or standing up, her eyelids fluttering quite noticeably until someone drags her into her tent.

15. What are their favorite textures? Silk and the light blue linen cloth her mother would have on her dress. Elizabeth's been looking for the kind of cloth for as long as she could remember.

16. Do they crack their own joints? Oh yeah, she cracks everything. Neck, back, elbows and knuckles. When she cracks her neck she'll feel people looking at her weird, waiting for her to break her own neck and slump into the ground. She'll make fun out of it, saying stuff like, "Ooh, crackly." While the person staring at her is like "What the fuck???"

17. Would they eat/drink something too hot or wait for it to cool? Elizabeth's a tiny woman but she's always ravenous, usually "fafshafafshafsh-ing" through her hot stew because she's hungry. With hot coffee she's more likely to wait.

18. Are they the type to adopt strays? Elizabeth's always wanted a black female cat and she's always wanted to name it Bastet.

19. Do they get work done straight away or wait until the last moment? Elizabeth has always been an obedient worker, she helped tend to a farm with her brothers and the working habits stayed as she went into the Van der Linde gang, proving herself a worthy working both inside and outside of camp.

20. How do they bathe? If there's a public body of water, there's a public bath. Elizabeth is more tedious with her bathing when she buys a bath, she spent money on that shit, damn right she's gonna melt into it.

21. Are they the type to daydream? She finds herself zoning out a lot, making otherworldly scenarios that will never happen. She's a daydreamer.

22. Do they work best in a messy space or a neat space? She likes everything clean, a habit she picked up from her mother

23. Do they keep any personal photos? She has none before 1899, she was stolen from her home and couldn't take any ornaments with her. Around/after 1899 however, she has one of Javier and her sitting on the log and laughing in the Clemen's Point camp. Arthur took the picture.

24. Do they indulge in anything? She REALLY likes flowers, tiny ones, big ones, baby breaths, sunflowers, daisies, etc. She also likes to decorate her guns.

25. Would they do the exact opposite of what someone says just to spite them? Yes, she loves to push everyone's buttons and she did it with her older brothers. It comes with being the littlest who could get away with just about everything.

26. If they’re alone and hear a noise would they go investigate? Of course-- with her gun out.

27. If they’re lost what is the first thing they would do? Have a mental breakdown and then wander. If she didn't have any luck, she'd ask someone for directions.

28. What is one dream that makes no sense but is absolutely terrifying? (I ignored the "make sense" part but I answered the terrifying part) Ever since she was kidnapped and tortured by O'Driscolls she's had terrible night terrors, screaming, swearing, rolling and crying in her sleep until someone runs in to wake her up. She's nearly scratched people's eyes out when they rush to wake her up.

29. What is the stupidest thing they’ve ever done just because someone said they couldn’t? Javier made a bet that Elizabeth couldn't climb a tree as fast as him. She fell, rolled her ankle and popped her knee, laughing and crying at the same time.

30. Are they stoic or melodramatic about being injured? She reacts when she needs to, Elizabeth doesn't cry often. When she's mentally injured however, she sobs quietly, careful to not have anyone hear in fear that she has to explain why.

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nyruratchet · 5 years

Text

Time...

“...Why you punish me?”

So, I explained last time the situation regarding the creation of my music...monetarily. But let me explain and expand on how my time is utilized on a monthly basis.

If I haven’t made it clear, I hate my job. But here’s the thing, it’s flexible (for the most part), has benefits: (insurance, free-ish air travel, scheduled pay increases). Cons: passengers are allowed to treat crew like shit, always working with new people (that you may not mesh well with), anyone you try establishing a relationship with has pre-conceived notions/little to no faith you will ever be around, pay SUCKS until you get REALLY senior (7+), and...more, but I digress. But that flexible schedule, albeit limited, has afforded me the ability to work on music; until it doesn't.

See, I was getting “comfortable” in my work situation a few years ago until certain a situation beyond my control forced me into deep debt, bad credit, and deeper depression. In order to fix all of this, money is needed. How do u get money? Work more. More work leads to more depression and sometimes health issues. So, I’ve been stuck in this seamlessly endless cycle of paycheck to paycheck living. And my desire and NEED to work on my music has not helped it (as explained in the previous blog post). Every time I get a bit more money, it goes to my craft.

See, after you put all that money into creating art, you have to then put it OUT there. And in the case of a performer, you need to do live performances. That is a whole other situation in itself. There are lots avenues to get live performance experience. Open mics, concert showcases, live cabaret/karaoke bars, etc. Guess what THEY ALL COST MONEY. But not only money, LOTS of excess time is involved.

This past spring, I was dragged into a showcase by my producer friend (who I’m partially in love with but he’s straight...but that’s another story). In order to do a showcase, you have to apply for acceptance. Applications involve you submitting current work and having a worthy social media following (which you have had to spend constant time building). Once you fill out the application, send the files and info, PAY your entry fee ($25) and receive your acceptance, you then have to sell tickets. Yes, how do they get people to come to the showcase? By having YOU bring them. And if you cannot find people to buy your tickets, all of those tickets come out of YOUR pocket. So, I was given 25 tickets to sell (last minute mind you); 25 tickets to sell at $20 bucks each. So, if I don't sell them, I owe the company $500 dollars. Yup, that’s correct. In order for me to perform my original content on their stage, I needed to make sure they got their $525 and help them get people in the venue so that they buy drinks at the bar (which we were given ZERO drink tickets for). Now before stepping on stage, you don’t get a sound check. So, you show up early before everyone to check in and simply check they have your correct music file(s) then wait...and wait...and wait. But your music has to be edited within their restrictions (this means more studio time. Remember, studio time =more $$...just making sure ur following me. Too many times you’ll hear big recording artists talking about how they have just sat in studios for hours creating a song from scratch. Yeah, only if you are signed to major label is this a thing! But anyway...back to the showcase.)

Needless to say, I did everything I needed to. But I had some help since I asked to do this last minute and told them UP FRONT they would have had to get that unsold ticket money from me in blood. I landed from working a redeye the day before, got a nap in, did my vocal exercises in my car on my way to New Jersey, checked in and sat there. Since some people didn't show up on TIME, I was abruptly grabbed from drinking my whiskey at the bar and told “YOU’RE ON NEXT!” Being the seasoned professional that I am, took that shot to the head, said “Actually, that’s not my slot...but ok, I’m ready.” NO SOUND CHECK, NEVER given TIME on the stage beforehand...I went on. Sung my ass off with a standing ovation from the judges. Then, went back to drinking with my friends who were in shock because they had never heard me really sing live. Then I had sit for HOURS while mediocre “rappers” and “singers” rapped over pre-recordings of their own vocals. Finally, they were ready to announce the winners. I won that sucker.

But what did I win? ...A promise to be put into another show... *DICK FACE* No money to recoup what I just spent getting to this moment. No free promotion on social media to help me and my art. NO, some bullshit. So, I took the experience fore what it was and cut my losses. I got some exposure and was able to test out an unreleased song...but besides that. Nothing but wasted time and effort. I left there feeling somewhere between elation and disappointment. Not to mention, I was exhausted; I had done all this after working my full time job, and had to work again the next day. So all I had time to do was drive home and sleep.

“Like a wave bashing into the shore...

Since this, I have had some money issues and mental health issues, so I have just barely been able to work on music. On my days off, I have to sleep and get back in the groove of being a real person instead of a redeye zombie. Then when I’m feeling slightly normal, I’m back to work...it is a vicious, irritating, restraining cycle. I’ve tried working shorter flights so I’m home more; nope, the pairings (schedules) for those flights work you in a way that leaves you feeling raped. My company will build a pairing with a duty time of 27hrs and only pay you for 15-17 of those hours. DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Then on top of that, your rest time at the hotel is set to 11hrs...WTF??

Let me explain this for those of you with normal jobs. On these pairings, you are schedule to work a number of flights each day. So, 3 day pairing means you work 3-4 flights each day and have 2 layovers. Now lets say FLIGHT time is 1.5-2.5 hrs each (8-12hrs). Then you land from your final flight for day one. We’re usually delayed at our carrier...honestly, rarely on time. So, you have minimum rest at 11hrs. BUT, before you can leave the aircraft we have to get all passengers off the plane, CLEAN the seats, wait on our shuttle which is probably late if your pilots are sucky human beings and haven’t called ahead to make sure they’re there (Pilots aren’t required to clean; just us lowly peasants). So, by the time you get to the hotel, down to 10hrs. If you get there and rooms are ready, great. IF NOT, another 20-30 min or longer. But, lets say you’re down to 9.5hrs now. Get to your room. Hopefully your key works, air/heat works, no one is already in you room (yes...it happens all the time), room already cleaned, no bed bugs, and you aren’t by a noisy ice machine/elevator. You then have to shower and eat. Let’s say you get all that done in an hour. You now have 8.5 hrs to sleep...BUT WAIT, the van is scheduled to pick you up from the hotel 45 min to an hour before you are supposed to report at the airport and you need to be dressed and ready to make that van. So instead of 8.5hrs, you actually have 7hrs at best to sleep and pop outta bed, get dressed and properly ready to do the shit show all over again; all the while, knowing they are really only paying you for the time you spend on the aircraft, AFTER THE DOOR IS CLOSED AND THE BRAKE IS RELEASED. Time before like boarding, checks, delays? nope...no pay. Just us waisting our fucking time. Literally.

Why, is this? cuz everyone does it is the answer. That is how all airlines do it, so you have no leg to stand on. Got a union, the company retaliates like a reprimanded toddler. Now as I said before, once you get to be a super senior in your company and can choose what you want to work, when you want to work, in the position you want to work, getting $40/hr at base hours and a crazy amount for premium (overtime) hour, etc. the job is GOLDEN. (Unless that company gets purchased/merged.) But for a young person/flight attendant in debt, living in NYC, with a high cost of living, life ain’t fun. I tried living in New Jersey for a lower cost; that came with its own issues. I’ve taken out loans, became a hermit to save money, worked holidays, etc. Dug my hole deeper is what I did. And I’m pretty good at setting goals and managing my time and getting things DONE. But for some fucking reason, life is not working in my favor. This job is not working for me. I see younger people coming up behind me doing LITTLE to no work, getting musical accolades with trash “music” (I know, matter of opinion...but really. C’mon now), young white/latino/asian twinks shaking their ass for anything that breathes and getting rich men to pay their bills or marry them, all the while telling me they just want my BBC or other racist BS like that (Yes, I have receipts) and I’m just like WTF AM I DOING WRONG?! Have I spent my time stupidly?

And the most recent shit that really hurt my feelings: If any of you remember (to the three of you reading this lol), a few months ago I posted about help getting into bartending. Well, I had actually asked a friend in person before that about bartending and if he knew any directors who could do a music video. This “friend” told me “no, not really”. Didn’t know anything about that, he just does movies and short films (which I’ve donated to his kickstarters for btw...) but no one who he thinks does music videos. THEN, I asked this same “FRIEND” how much he would charge to be IN a music video, as I had a song (the one I won the showcase with) that he would be perfect for as it deals with subject matter he rallies for. I wanted to help his career out in turn by help my video out, because I’m ugly and having beautiful actors in my video would be a better sell (as again, I need this song to make money. He then tells me me, he’s not sure how much he would charge for that. SEVERAL MONTHS LATER...this bitch releases a music VIDEO to his NEW SINGLE about a SIMILAR SUBJECT!! Without promotion, he gets instant 2.2k hits on the video on youtube. MIND YOU, he would always be shy to sing around me and I told him, “you need to give yourself more credit. You have a beautiful voice.” Meanwhile, I’m asking for some knowledge from him, and he wouldn’t help me with ANYTHING. I have NEVER asked for a hand out. Just tell me where the door is, I will get in even if I have to pick the lock. But he not only pretended he didn’t know where the door was, he was holding the keys, had lock picks on the side and duplicates to share; But, for whatever reason...didn’t want to share that with me. Even though, I was going to include him in MY art without any thought and was willing to pay. Now, I have some thoughts on why he did this. But seeing as I’m on the verge of tears, I’ll end on that note.

...You wash away my dreams.”

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alotta-lovin · 6 years

Note

4 or 49 for the dialogue prompt? You've been doing a lot of writing recently and I'm loving it tbh! Its really great 💞

Ahh thank you– im glad you like my writing oh my god ;; i love writing honestly but i always get discouraged and scared no one will read it if that makes sense, But im really glad you like it!! And i think ill Mesh 4 and 49 since they both are very much a thing in Lady In Yellow n’ Bat Outta Hell! Hope you don’t mind ♥

[4.“I should have told you a long time ago.”]||[49.“I don’t want to screw this up.”]

Context Summary : At this point Faith has been friendly and close with Henry. could even be considered dating; When Faith moved back Reggie was taken back by the very drastic change in how she acted and looked, hell even her mentality. He tried asking her out after he pulled her to the side the day she came back to school and she was heading towards the lunch room; though he was shot down as she finally remembered who he was. She didn’t want to deal with that again or that heart break since she did love him back then, and deep down still does. Fast forward a bit and the following below is where we are now.

[Word Count : 4,773]

It was Music Festival day, it was spring break and it was warming up. Faith was very clearly excited as her band mates; Russell, Matthew and Christopher were coming into town today and she was a little ancy since Chris had to go and say there was a surprise coming for her too. She was waiting around back behind the stage as she waited on her Friends and as others put it her Boyfriend were about to show up as well.

A van and a very nice car had pulled up and she pulled away from the wall and lifted her sunglasses up and quickly got overwhelmed with excitement as Russell and Matt stepped out of the van. Instantly she ran towards them and Jumped into Russell’s arms before pulling Matt into the hug as well, “I’ve missed you guys so much!!! i’m so happy you’re here and we get to play a gig and a big gig and that you guys get to meet everyone” She was cut off by Chris stepping out of the nice car and speaking up “What’s this? i don’t get a hug?” he spoke in a very clearly sarcastic tone as if he was offended. after she was set down by Russ she Ran over and nearly tackled Chris to the ground and hugged him tight “Oh shut up dumbass, i was planning on it! i thought you were in the back of the van– When did you get a car?” she was once again set down as she pointed towards the yellow SS Chevrolet chevelle. stepping away from Chris, she walked around to the passenger side and admired it. very clearly falling in love with the car as she spoke up “this is the SS 70′s model isn’t it? maybe 69?” looking up at Chris then over to Russell and Matt as they both had walked over at this point. “See? I told you she’d know what car it was. you owe me 20 bucks Matt” Chris chuckled holding his hand out and that resulted in Matt rolling his eyes and taking his wallet out and handing him a 20, “There you prick–” he refuted back after handing him the money. “Pffft– you guys are like little kids.. But Chris seriously, where the hell did you get the money to buy yourself a handsome car like this?” she spoke up and was being actually very curious about it.

“Oh– it’s not mine. It’s yours.”

“… Excuse me?”

“This handsome Fellow is yours. if i bought a car it would be red or something–” he took the keys and tossed them to her as her eyes clearly lit up and seemingly stars danced around in her eyes. her band-mates smiling as a her big grin plastered itself across her face, “There’s that smile we missed” Russell spoke up and gestured back towards the field that sat in front of the stage “Weren’t there people you wanted to introduce us to?” Russell asked as the other two looked at her. snapping back to it she nodded and ran back around the car and started walking towards the trans-am that was parked at the other side of the field. lifting her hand up she waved towards the group that stood around the car. her friend Karizma was the first to run over and meet her half way. and her boyfriend Vic followed behind her as he didn’t feel like running.

Karizma and Vic introduced themselves to her band-mates as Faith had ran over to the trans-am and hugged the person everyone referred to as her boyfriend since she spent most of her time with this guy, holding hands and all that junk. this boy was named Henry. though they hadn’t said they were dating to anyone they didn’t deny it either. And Reggie stood there leaning against his car. Rolling his eyes a bit as he looked away and kept his arms cross as he wasn’t very happy that Henry got to her first when Reggie had been talking about how he would show he had changed and wasn’t the same guy he was when she left.. but Henry got to her first.

She let go of Henry as he stepped up to her bandmates who towered over him, Russell clearly giving him a glare and Chris was doing the same though Matt was the one to actually start the conversation between the four of them. Faith stepped towards Reggie and stood next to him leaning against his Car. “Will you come say hi?… at least introduce yourself? They are important people to me and i know i don’t say it much to you myself but you are important to me too-” she was quickly cut off by Reggie as he spoke up, “I’ll introduce myself but that’s it.” clearly he was upset about something and she pulled away from the car and turned her head a bit as she seemed to narrow her eyes at him “What’s your damage Reggie?” “Nothin’ you need to be worrying about.” he turned his head to face her as he kept his arms crossed against his chest as he didn’t move an inch from his car. “You know what, fuck it. I’ll see you after the show Reginald.” she walked away and waved as she stuffed her hand into her back pocket putting her new keys there as she walked past her band-mates and her friends back towards the van to start unloading things.

Russell looked at her then back at Reggie, who at this point he had pulled away from his car and his hands where resting at his side as he was very clearly watching her walk away. he stepped away from the group conversation and walked over to Reggie. “I’m Russell.. the lead guitarist– and basically Rebel’s big brother.. You good dude?” he leaned against Reggie’s trans-am and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and put one between his lips as he offered one to Reggie. Reggie had turned and looked at him and took the cigarette from him and pulled out his own lighter. after it was lit and he let out a huff of smoke as he finally spoke up “I’m Reggie… Everyone calls me Belch though.. and she’s clearly pissed considering she used my full real name..” “What did you do to tick her off so bad?” Russell pulled the cigarette away from his lips looking at him at this point as he knew when she used people’s full name she was pissed if she normally referred to them by a nickname. “I—… i’ve been distant with her. ever since she has been “dating” Henry… and-” “You really love her don’t you?” Russell cut Reggie off and Reggie’s eyes widened a bit as he sincerely hoped that Henry didn’t hear that. though he wouldn’t say it out-loud with Henry around as he has expressed how much he knows he fucked up back then and wishes he could show her how he has changed to Karizma and Vic. Nodding he looked down at the ground as Russel looked up and back towards the van where Faith was unloading the things she needed to. “You know she wrote a few songs about you back in NYC?.. though she couldn’t remember your name they are about you now that i’m thinking about it..”

Reggie’s head had lifted at this point and he looked at Russell clearly surprised as he almost choked on the smoke he inhaled “are you serious?” “I’m not one to lie about anything. so yes im very fuckin’ serious. though they are about the pain she was feeling at the time and what she remembered it makes sense now.” he shrugged and took a long drag looking at him. “God dammit… i really fucked her over..” “Yeah you did– she didn’t date anyone in NYC. she was constantly saying “There’s a guy back in the town i used to live in… it feels wrong to be with anyone else when he was with so many others while with me..” she’s a loyal person Reggie. though she may not admit it and even if she is dating someone else now. you were the first person she loved like that. keep that in mind.” Russell pushed off the car and started walking as he put his cig out by stepping on it as he called for Matt and Chris “Dumb-asses lets go help Rebel unload. she’s been doin’ it by herself for so damn long you know damn well she can’t drag those drums out by herself.”

Vic walked over to Reggie as his was clearly shocked by something. Karizma following close behind Vic they both stood on either side of Reggie and spoke up. “Belch you good?” Vic asked, “Uh…yeah.. i will be..” Reggie responded as he put his cigarette out after tossing it.

Vic and Karizma had wandered off to get some food and spend some time alone, Faith and her band were setting up on stage. so it was Henry and Reggie left alone standing by the Trans-am. though people were talking around them and there was noise happening it was one of the most awkward silences for Reggie between himself and a person he used to consider his best-friend.

The losers had shown up and Faith was sitting on the edge of the stage and so were her band-mates so they could talk to them as Henry let out a groan “I get that they are her friends and all but seriously? they’re here too?”. Reggie furrowed his brow and looked at Henry a bit confused as he seemed buddy-buddy with them she she was around him. “Uh— they’re here to support her that’s why?” “Yeah i’m not a dumbass but we both know damn well that trash-mouth is looking at her in the way he does cause he’s a fuckin’ perv.” Henry looked over at Reggie who was still a bit taken back whenever Henry would change so quickly compared to when he was around Faith. She was wearing a Guns n’ Roses t-shirt that was pretty big on her and worn down, cut into a muscle shirt and hung off her shoulder, showing a bit of her Yellow bralette and its strap, the Guns n’ Roses t-shirt was tucked into her high-waisted cut off shorts that were fraying at the bottom of them and some yellow pf flyers. so she was showing a lot of skin and honestly didn’t care clearly.

“I mean– she can dress how she wants? if she’s happy with how she looks and if she feels good wearing it why do you have’ta be a dick about it? people are gonna look. most girls around here don’t dress like that dude.” Reggie refuted a bit as he looked straight ahead. Henry scoffed a bit and shrugged “You have a point but i get to see that off her later~” he laughed a bit as he said that last part. Reggie went a little wide eyed before furrowing his brow clearly ticked off by it. Luckily just in time Vic and Karizma had come back and quickly noticing something was wrong. Vic dragged Reggie away to let him cool off so there wasn’t a fight breaking out before the gig and Karizma keeping Henry by the trans-am

[Fast forward to after the gig was over]

Stepping off the stage Faith sat down on the steps of the back of the stage and let out a loud huff as she was surprised she didn’t collapse due to how bad her stage fright was but listened to what Matt told her, that she just needed to breath and pretend she was in a room with one person she cares about. that really helped. She was quickly picked up by Chris who spun her around while hugging her “YOU DID SO FUCKING GOOD REBEL!” he yelled as he then set her down. “Hey you guys good with loading the van up on your own? i need to go talk to someone..” they all nodded and started to take their set down off the stage as she walked across the field once more and towards Reggie who was the only one at his Trans-am and his hand was on his cheek.

Furrowed brow she looked at him worried as she looked around,

“Where did the others go?”

“Vic and Karizma took Henry home towards the end of your set..”

“Why?…”

“No reason..”

“Bull-fucking-shit don’t lie to me Reginald. “

“Him and I got into a fight is all. why do you have to fuckin’ know everything?”

“Oh i don’t know cause you two fucking fight like cats and dogs if you aren’t picking on someone else? and speaking of “having to fucking knowing everything” why the hell are you holding your cheek? Did he deck you that hard or did you fall?”

“None of your business…”

“Yes it fucking is. You’re coming home with me to get you a fucking ice pack for that and treat whatever the hell else fucking Bowers did. you stay right fucking here or so fucking help me i’ll hit you 10x harder than he did if you leave.” she demanded and clearly she was angry. she ran back across the field and gave her keys to Chris so that he could drive her car back home after they were done loading since they were staying in her house. coming back she snapped her fingers and pointed at the car. “Get in dumb-ass.” said as she walked around to the passenger side and slid into the car.

[Skip forward a bit, back at Faith’s house.]

She unlocked her front door and dragged Belch inside and made him sit down in the living room on the couch as she walked into the kitchen and got a ice pack, walking back she handed it to him as she sat down next to him on the couch after putting on some music so it wasn’t quiet.

After a moment of music filled silence between the two she looked over at him “Why did you two fight this time?…” asking a bit quietly he kept his eyes averted from her as she would grumble a bit as he didn’t respond. Sitting up straight she placed her on his jaw and turned his head to look at her “It’s rude to not respond to someone’s question.”

“Yeah i get it…. it’s just… there’s something i should’ve told you a long time ago Faith…”

“Okay now you’re scaring me Reggie… what’s wrong?” she pulled her hand away from his face and let her hand rest against the couch as she looked at him with worry. he let out a shaky sigh as he spoke up “Just don’t hit me after this” he said a bit quietly as her eyes widened a bit surprised by this statement as she was about to speak up she was then cut off by Reggie’s lips pressing against hers as the ice pack was away from his face and sitting on the couch and his hand was now against her cheek. her eyes went completely wide as she felt something completely different than when she kissed Henry, let along anyone else or even years ago when she kissed Reggie for the first time.

She grabbed his wrist after finally registering what was happening at the moment and placed her other hand on his chest and pushed him away as she pulled his hand away from her face “Reggie what the hell?! are you kidding right now are you really fucking kidding me right now?!”

“I should’ve told you a long time ago but i was a fuckin’ chicken-shit about it alright? I did what i could to change. so that i was able to be someone to be loyal to you. and just you. i get it i fucked up last time–” he trailed off a bit as she was surprised to hear any of this coming from him. Reggie, One of the people in the Bowers gang that pick on people and is a bit of a dick. The guy who drove around Derry like a bat outta of hell.

“Goddammit Reggie… are you fucking kidding me right now… Why do you have to do this to me…” Standing up she rubbed her face and shook her head quickly and pointed towards the door. “Go. Take the ice pack and go… I’ll talk to you soon. just please go right now…”

“Faith I didn’t want to ruin anything if you had anything going with Henry–”

“But you just kissed me. YOU KISSED ME. AND NOW I’M CONFUSED. JUST PLEASE GO. I’LL TALK TO YOU SOON.”

Reggie picked the ice pack up and walked towards the door, stepping back a bit as Russell, Matthew and Christopher walked in, he let them pile in and walk into the living room before he left and slammed the door behind him. Russell looked outside the window and watched him speed out of her dirt driveway he then looked back as she crossed her arms and seemed to shut in on herself as he spoke up “What happened here…?”

About a week later and back at school Faith pulled up in her car, Kenickie. parking it she pulled her keys out of the ignition and grabbed her bag from the passenger side. Stepping out of the car she locked it and put her bag over her shoulder as she waved to a few people then looked over at Reggie. Henry standing near him as they hung around the Trans-am, Vic and Karizma chilling on the other side of it she quickly made a b-line for the school and went inside as she couldn’t really be around Henry or Reggie let alone both at the same time. walking to her locker she quickly put in the combo and was quickly greeted by a yellow rose falling out. very confused as she had only given Karizma her locker combo. picking it up she put her bag in her locker. she turned and saw Stanley and Bill walking up to her, “Hey guys did you see who unlocked my locker?..” she asked a bit surprised as she was still confused

“No i didn't–” Stan turned and looked at Bill as he spoke up “K-Ka–Karizma w-wa-was the o-on-one who d-di-did it” he shrugged as he answered her question. Faith nodded and grabbed her books out of her locker and put the rose back inside. closing it she headed to class even if she wasn’t going to be able to focus on the lesson.

After the bell rang to let them go to lunch she was quickly out the door and back at her locker as she grabbed the rose and basically threw her books in before slamming it shut and running towards the doors of the school. after basically jumping off the front steps she walked quickly over to Henry and turned him around “Did you get Karizma to open my locker so you could put this in there?” she held up the yellow rose and he looked confused before anger clearly plastered itself across his face as he walked away. “Henry!” watching him walk towards Reggie and Henry grabbing the back of his shirt and turning him around as he punched him pretty hard. hard enough to knock him on his ass.

Her eyes widened as she quickly walked over and put her hands on his chest pushing him away as she stood between the two of them, Vic and Karizma had just stepped out and were watching the whole thing as Faith looked at Henry as if telling him to back off “What the fuck are you doing Henry?!”

“HE WAS THE ONE THAT GAVE YOU THE DAMN ROSE. I SAW IT ON HIS FUCKING DASHBOARD THIS MORNING.” yelling rather loudly, Henry was visibly shaking as he clenched his fists. “Henry, Go over there. go fucking cool off.” Vic had walked over at this point and turned Henry around and walked him away from Faith and Reggie at this point. Karizma slightly acting as a boundary between the three of them; Faith turned around and helped Reggie up as she placed her hand on his cheek and rubbed it a bit though he flinched he stayed there, leaning into her hand. she spoke up as she pulled her hand away; “Did you really get Karizma to open my locker to give me this…?”

“Well yeah… i wasn’t lying to you that day during spring break-” Reggie was interrupted by Faith refuting back with “Reggie… I don’t want to screw this up– so just be quiet.. I’ll talk to you later alright?” her tone softened and trailed off as she walked around her friend and towards Henry, keeping the rose in her left, and with her right she intertwined her fingers with his and started walking away.

Karizma turned around to look at Reggie after seeing Faith walk around her and towards Henry and walk away hand in hand with him. Glancing back at Victor as if asking him to join her she stepped to Reggie and rubbed his back as his shoulders had sunk down at this point and he just looked down at the ground after watching Faith walk away.

“I’m sorry Dude…. Just— She said she would call you right? Later?.. just– talk to her during that call okay? I’ll see you after school. Avoid Henry– he will probably punch you again ” though trailing off a few times as she spoke to him she meant what she was saying even if she would look at her own boyfriend for confirmation. She wanted the two of them together, Knowing and seeing how much he had changed. she really wanted them to get together.

The following week seemingly trudged along with, awkward silences around each other, avoided eye contact and little to no conversation between Faith and Reggie. not only was it awkward for them it was painfully awkward for Victor, Karizma and those just around them… But between Reggie, Henry and Faith there was a thick tension. mostly between Reggie and Henry. it was easy to tell if it was that awkward between so many people and just people around them at the time if Karizma couldn’t stand being around it. after long moments of silence being heavily greeted with the thick blanket of tension it was quickly broken with “Let’s go talk to Trashmouth!” from her lips and dragging Victor along with her. “You don’t ever like talking to him-” “ LETS GO SAY HI TO TRASHMOUTH”.

These moments continued for the rest of the week and the week after, Often Faith if stuck with Henry and Reggie alone she would try to get away but was quickly grabbed and had her hand held rather tightly by Henry. almost to the point she was losing feeling in her hand before she’d pull her hand away as hard and quickly as she could and stating she was going home or somewhere else just to get away. as Henry seemed to become more aggressive with her if she was going to walk away when with both himself and Reggie, or if Reggie was just simply mentioned that he would be stopping by or hanging out with them.

Due to these aggressive interactions and conversations between Faith and Henry, she started to spend less time with him… But more time with Reggie. though it was awkward for the most part it wasn’t too bad after a bit. She preferred the awkward moments more than the aggressive ones she was stuck in while around Henry. and that’s saying a lot if Faith preferred the awkwardness, she typically couldn’t stand awkward moments in the slightest. though after listening to music and talking about that mostly it made it less awkward and more pure. it was easier to withstand than being around Henry at all.

Though Henry had changed after spending time with her for a few months and wasn’t bullying people as much as he once was he seemed to be reverting back to how he used to be after Karizma accidentally let it slip during one of their conversations that Faith was spending the day with Reggie, though Faith had told Henry that day that she was just going to stay home. “Maybe she’s avoiding you because well… her hand was bruised from you holding it too tight and where you grabbed her arm as well was bruised… her and her Dad moved back because her mother was… physically aggressive towards her. that and the Job transfer as well.. she doesn’t deal with aggression like that well.. so maybe she would prefer to be in a awkward environment than a aggressive one..” Karizma would explain before she’d walk away and try to find Victor.

about two weeks later Faith was pulled to the side by Henry. rubbing the back of his neck he groaned and looked at her “I think we should break up.” her tense posture loosened after hearing what he said as she nodded and accepted rather quickly what was happening, “You’re spending more time with Blech then you are with me, plus you won’t put out. every time I tried you would tell me “it’s not the right time” or “it doesn’t seem right”… Hell you smile a smile with him that I have never seen before when you were with me… I’m not an idiot, I know you like him.” he put his hands into his pockets as he looked at her as if waiting for tears or some yelling but there was none of that. she was actually pretty calm about it, she didn’t see a point in yelling in the hallway let alone at all. if he wanted to break up then he wanted to break up. she couldn’t change that even if she wanted to.

“I understand that Henry… and you’re not wrong. I didn’t realize i had feelings for Reggie.. but I do. but that doesn’t mean the feelings I had for you were any less true… but I get it– Do you want your stuff back from my place-”

“Know what fuck it, keep the stuff I don’t give a shit.” he refuted back with a aggressive tone while cutting her off. she unfolded her arms and furrowed her brow, throwing her arms up as she started to walk away she turned to face him as she did so “Know what Henry? You can talk to me again when you want to act like an Adult. until then don’t talk to me. don’t start shit with me or about me, cause i’ve had it. I’m not gonna deal with it.”

Around mid may Faith and Reggie had officially gotten together. Henry seemed to fully revert back to his very violent bullying towards younger kids, on occasion towards those apart of the Loser’s Club. though the one thing that seemed to kick him in the gut is when Victor told him he wouldn’t be walking to school with him since Henry wasn’t getting rides anymore. “Why the hell not?”, “Because… i’m already getting a ride from Faith…and later i’ll be hanging out with Bill and his friends…” Victor trailed off and adjusted his bag “Why are you hanging out with Loser’s like them-” “Because they are actually pretty cool Henry. they’re fun to be around..I’ll see you later Henry.” Victor walked away and was picked up a few blocks later. later on that day Faith felt a tap on her shoulder and a hand in front of her face as if asking to be shook. “Truce?…” Looking up she was surprised to see it was Henry. though a little skeptical she leaned away and spoke up “You gonna act like a big kid now?” “Maybe…” “Maybe isn’t a answer Henry.” as she was going to turn back around to her food she jolted hearing him say “Fine! i get it i was a dick. but can we please call a truce? i’d like to at least be friends..”

Turning to face him she smiled a bit and shook his hand nodding “Fine, Truce… are you hungry? I have some extra stuff I packed if you want it- “ she was quickly cut off by him blurting out “Yes!” and reaching over her to grab the extra sandwich she made and grabbing a chair from another table and sitting on it. Even if it was a bit awkward but it was nice to be acting like friends again.

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perfectirishgifts · 4 years

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Citroen’s Cute Little Ami Could Be The First Mass Market Electric Car

New Post has been published on https://perfectirishgifts.com/citroens-cute-little-ami-could-be-the-first-mass-market-electric-car/

Citroen’s Cute Little Ami Could Be The First Mass Market Electric Car

Citroen Ami

“Did you drive that thing all the way from Paris mate,” shouted the

motorcyclist while we were stuck in a traffic jam in Hyde Park Corner,

Central London.

He’d seen the Paris licence plates and the left-hand drive, but of course that

would have been a very time-consuming exercise because the Citroen Ami’s 5.5

kWh battery only gives it range of 43 miles and a top “speed” of 28 mph.

Speed and range might not sound like much, but the Ami is the forerunner of

a new breed of electric car that is designed for a specific role – shopping,

and commuting, and to embrace new attitudes to car ownership. High speed

performance is not an issue, not least in a city like London which often has

a 20-mph speed limit anyway.

And in London currently, 28 mph can often be the heady heights of speed

because city traffic management favoring cyclists has a snarled-up London

traffic even more than usual. It’s very affordable. If you buy it outright

it will cost around €6,000 ($7,300 after tax and before government grants)

or for the new breed of car users, you can lease it by the hour or the day

from the likes of Free2Move. You can plonk down about €2,000 ($2,425) and

lease it for €19.99 ($25) a month.

The Ami is built to save money everywhere. The interior is plain plastic. The seat feels a bit skimpy and small. There is a demister and fan, and cradle for your smart phone. There’s no rear-view mirror. You line-up the wing-mirrors by hand. The windows don’t wind up and down; they are split in the middle and you punch the lower bit and its swings outwards and upwards to the vertical and clips in place. Older readers may remember the Citroen 2CV window operation. This is exactly the same. There’s no trunk, but there is some space behind the driver and passenger for a couple of briefcases. The passenger seat is set back a little so there’s room for a weekend suitcase in the footwell, possibly. You can charge it fully in 3 hours from a standard household plug. Once inside it doesn’t feel tiny because the screen is quite a way in front of you giving the illusion of space. Reach down to the side of the driver’s seat, push the “D” button, and off you go. The acceleration is fine but of course top-speed is reached quickly. It kept up with the traffic, which isn’t saying much in London. The suspension is harsh but acceptable.

Citroen Ami

I drove the little Ami around central London – Westminster Abbey, the

west side of Buckingham Palace, Hyde Park Corner, up and down Park Lane, the

east side of Buck House, The Mall, Trafalgar Square, Downing Street and the

House of Commons. The Ami drew a lot of attention, some admiring, some

fascinated, some incredulous, some of pity for a grown man driving around in

what looks more like a child’s toy than a proper car.

In France it is rated as a “quadricycle”, which means it is not considered a real car because it is too slow. You don’t need a driver’s license there and you have to be at least 14. This lack of performance will be an issue, not least because waiting in the wings will be other mini electric vehicles (EVs), like China’s Hong Guang Mini EV, which have more range and performance, are cheaper, and from the photographs appear to be of higher quality. The Ami is on sale across Europe, but not yet in Britain, but you only have to look at it to see a certain kind of early-adopter will race to embrace it. But for sales to reach the general buyer, the performance will have to be improved a bit, to say 50 mph and 70 miles of range.

Citroen Ami

GlobalData auto analyst David Leggett reckons cheap and utilitarian electric cars could catch on in a big way.

“The Ami is squarely aimed at delivering zero-emission short distance

journeys in urban areas in a very compact package with no frills. Could it

find a viable place in the urban mobility mix? Quite possibly. We have yet

to see though what business model works for their consumption – will people

buy them or will they work best in the rental or car share sector?” Leggett

said.

“They could work as second cars for some people who need an urban

runaround. Young people might well be attracted to the funky stand-out

design and hire by the hour in car clubs. On a conceptual level, I applaud

Citroen (owned by Groupe PSA) for trying this. Although quadricycles are nothing new – Ligier for example has long been a stalwart in the market – there is a lot of

uncertainty over whether a new entrant electric microcar like Ami can work

commercially. The urban mobility space has been shaken up by Covid though.

It could be good timing to offer low-cost and environmentally friendly

private transport like this,” Leggett said.

In normal times, little cars like the Citroen Ami and perhaps the Hong

Guang Mini EV wouldn’t have stood a chance to score big sales. But the

European Union’s determination to force citizens into electric cars is

shaking up the traditional marketplace. As carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions

rules mean more EVs and hybrids, traditional internal combustion engine

(ICE) transport will be priced out of the market. It’s simply too expensive

for ICE cars to comply. This will leave a gaping hole to be filled – the

affordable entry level EV car. Coronavirus worries also mean city workers are forsaking public transport in favor of cars.

Traditional entry level ICE cars were very capable all-rounders and could cruise happily at 130 km/h-80 mph al day. The fact that currently, most so-called “affordable” electric cars can’t perform as high speed cruisers and are really very expensive city cars will underline the fact that these limited ability cheap electric cars can do almost as well at about 1/3rd of the price.

Citroën 2CV (Photo by Sjoerd van der Wal/Getty Images)

More from Cars & Bikes in Perfectirishgifts

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wineanddinosaur · 4 years

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24 Defining Moments in the History of Bourbon

Bourbon used to be so simple: A humble, economically priced spirit from Kentucky. You could drink it neat, or with ice, maybe even mixed with soda — it needn’t be fetishized. Over two centuries of existence, bourbon had its ups and downs, but it was always reliably there. Often less than 20 bucks a bottle too, whether you favored Jim or Jack or even one of the “Olds” (Crow, Grand-Dad, Weller).

And then the aughts came and bourbon lost its mind.

Distilleries began releasing bourbons that cost hundreds of dollars. Drinkers cleared them from store shelves. Black markets arose to sell those bottles online for even more money.

Suddenly, the only bourbon anyone could find any more were those humble, economically priced Jims and Jacks and Olds that have always been there for us. In bourbon, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

These are the 24 moments that built an industry, helped it survive during troubled times, elevated it into the zeitgeist, and made it what it is today.

1785: Basil Hayden Brings Immigrants to Kentucky

A Catholic living in Maryland, Hayden was tasked with bringing 25 local families to Nelson County, Ky., to help set up a church community. Many of these folks were Scottish, Irish, and English immigrants, and many already had distilling in their blood. Hayden was also a distiller and today two bourbons are named after him, Basil Hayden’s and Old Grand-Dad.

1791: The Whiskey Rebellion Sends More Distillers to the Bluegrass

Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton puts an excise tax on whiskey — the first tax ever imposed on a domestic product by this new American government — to try to pay off the debts of the American Revolution. This angered many farmers in western Appalachia who often distilled their excise grain into whiskey. In turn, many of them moved to the tax-friendly havens of Kentucky and Tennessee.

1790s: Bourbon Accidentally Get Barrel Aged

Kentucky didn’t just have distillers, it also had exceptional Indian maize corn and access to limestone-filtered water. More importantly, it was located on the Ohio River, where barrels of this new-make corn whiskey would be loaded onto flatboats in Lexington and sent down to New Orleans. (Many claim that a Bourbon County pastor and distiller named Elijah Craig was the first to figure out that the cheapest storage method was to clean a fish barrel by burning the inside of it, then add the whiskey to it.) By the time the “bourbon” arrived in port 90 days later, the charred oak barrels had turned the liquid caramel in color, and made it a whole lot tastier.

1818: He Did the Mash, the Sour Mash

Though the inventor of this process is usually credited to Dr. James C. Crow (of Old Crow fame), its usage has been traced back further than that. In the early 19th century, distillers began “souring” their whiskey mash by adding back some of the acidic liquid strained from the previous mash, known as backset. This wouldn’t just inhibit bacterial growth, it would add to the flavor of the final product. Today, almost all bourbon is “sour mash,” with many even stating it on their labels.

1870: Old Forester Is Bottled

A former pharmaceutical salesman, George Garvin Brown, had a stroke of genius when he decided to sell his Old Forester bourbon not from barrels, but from sealed glass bottles instead. It was a savvy move; Old Forester has literally never been out of production since then, even during Prohibition, the longest-running bourbon in the U.S. today.

1897: The Bottled-in-Bond Act

But it wasn’t all high quality — many dubious bottlers and rectifiers would take their whiskey and add everything from prune juice to tobacco spit into their bottles of “bourbon.” Thus, a need for an assurance of quality arose and the legitimate distilleries lobbied congress to pass legislation. To get a “Bottled-in-Bond” designation, whiskeys had to come from one distillation season courtesy of one distiller at one distillery, then get aged in a federally bonded warehouse for at least four years, before being bottled at exactly 100 proof.

1919: Bourbon Finds a Prohibition Loophole

If there were a good two dozen distilleries in Bourbon County at one point, after ratification of the 18th Amendment, ironically, the county would never produce bourbon again. Meanwhile, six major Kentucky distilleries exploited a loophole and began making “medicinal” whiskey — in reality, simply affixing prescription labels to flasks of bourbon. (“Sick” Americans would have to have a doctor claim they were suffering from one of 27 ailments.) By the time the “Noble Experiment” of Prohibition ended in 1933, conglomerates like Schenley, Seagram, and National had acquired many family-run distilleries.

1935: “Pappy” Van Winkle Opens Stitzel-Weller

A traveling liquor salesman starting at age 18, Julian “Pappy” Van Winkle, with a partner, took over W.L. Weller & Sons in 1915 and immediately began producing stellar bourbon in conjunction with A. Ph. Stitzel, even during Prohibition. On Kentucky Derby Day 1935, Van Winkle’s first distillery, Stitzel-Weller, would open, eventually making waves for their uniquely wheated bourbon seen in products like Old Fitzgerald, Cabin Stiller, and Weller. When he died in 1965, who would have ever guessed that one day Pappy would be the household name of 21st-century bourbon?

1947: Frank Sinatra Starts Swigging Jack Daniel’s

Perhaps an apocryphal origin story, Sinatra would claim Jackie Gleason had told him that Tennessee whiskey was a “man’s drink.” He quickly became the brand’s biggest fan, flying a Jack flag at his house in Palm Springs and finishing an entire bottle of Old No. 7 every day, two fingers over three ice cubes in a rocks glass. Many say Sinatra turned this small Tennessee brand into literally the biggest bourbon brand in the world (yes, nerds, Tennessee whiskey is bourbon). In 2013, Jack Daniel’s returned the favor by releasing Sinatra Select, a limited, higher-end bottling.

1954: Jimmy Russell Clocks in at Wild Turkey

Some 66 years ago, on Sept. 10, 1954, a 19-year-old boy raised just six miles from the JTS Brown Distillery in Lawrenceburg, came to his first day of work sweeping floors. He would soon be mentored in the art of making the distillery’s Wild Turkey bourbon by the brand’s second-ever master distiller, as well as Ernest W. Ripy, Jr., the son of the original distillery owners. By the late-1960s Russell had the keys to the castle. As master distiller, the lovable “Bourbon Buddha” traveled the world as an ambassador for bourbon, finally seeing the fruits of his labor in the last couple of decades. Today, at age 86, Russell remains the longest-tenured master distiller in the world, still making some of the finest whiskey around, along with his son and fellow Wild Turkey master distiller, Eddie Russell.

1958: Maker’s Mark Creates the Premium Bourbon Category

Bill Samuels Sr. would famously zig when others were zagging, launching a premium whiskey in classy packaging at a time when people were moving away from bourbon. The gambit would eventually pay off. By the 1980s, the iconic red-waxed, square-shaped bottle was considered the industry’s Rolls Royce among a parking lot of Pintos. Bourbon tourists were visiting the Loretto distillery as early as 1968 and today many credit Samuels and Maker’s Mark with ushering in the current bourbon boom.

1964: Bourbon Becomes a “Distinctive Product”

Worried the rest of the world had eyes on stealing America’s homegrown product, in 1958 the Bourbon Institute was formed with the sole purpose of getting bourbon the same internationally recognized regulatory protections enjoyed by product categories like Cognac and Champagne. Lobbying Congress, on May 4, 1964 bourbon was officially recognized as a “distinctive product of the United States.” Bourbon could now only be produced in America (not just Kentucky as some internet commenters will have you believe), putting an end to Mexican-made bourbon.

1969: White Spirits Emerge, Light Whiskey Is Created, and a Glut Occurs

By the 1960s, white spirits like vodka and gin were taking over the bar scene, delivering a major blow to the bourbon industry. The distilleries came up with a plan to create an entirely new product to compete: Light whiskey, distilled to such a high proof it tasted like vodka. It was an abject disaster. By the early 1980s bourbon sales had plummeted, and plenty of barrels and bottles were sitting around with no one to buy them — a fate that collectors would one day regret as vintage bourbon from this era is now much desired.

1976: Wild Turkey Adds Some Honey

Cringe if you must, but another attempt to fend off white spirits and position bourbon as less of your “old man’s drink” was by adding flavors. Jimmy Russell was the first when he thought to make a liqueur by blending Wild Turkey with pure honey. It was a huge hit, and other bourbon brands would begin offering their own flavored concepts. This would eventually lead to fratty flavored whiskey sensations, such as Fireball and Skrewball Peanut Butter Whiskey.

1984: Single Barrels and Small Batches Arrive (but Only Japan Cares)

Wanting to impress Japanese consumers, the newly formed Ancient Age distillery asked its master distiller Elmer T. Lee to create a truly one-of-a-kind product. He hunted down some primo “honey” barrels from Warehouse H and bottled them as is. Blanton’s would be the world’s first commercial single-barrel bourbon — it was a sensation in Japan, though it would flop domestically. Still, it gave the other bourbon distilleries some new ideas. The year 1988 would bring Jim Beam’s Booker’s, a small-batch, barrel-proof offering. By 1992, the release of Jim Beam’s Knob Creek was starting to woo more and more neophytes into the bourbon world.

1994: Pappy Van Winkle Hit Shelves

In 1972, Pappy’s son, Julian Van Winkle Jr., started the Old Rip Van Winkle brand, selling bourbon he had acquired from Stitzel-Weller after its brands were sold off that same year. By 1981, his son, Julian Van Winkle III, was running operations, eventually selling 12- and 15-year-old Old Rip Van Winkles (bourbons that only existed due to the aforementioned glut). In 1994, he had the gumption to release a then-unheard-of 20-year-old bourbon, which he called Pappy Van Winkle, after his grandfather. It would immediately win acclaim across the country. Pappy Van Winkle 23 Year would come along in 1998, and the 15 Year Old would arrive in 2004.

1999: The Bourbon Trail Is Officially Created

With a renewed interest in bourbon, tourism began to take off and the distilleries wisely moved to capitalize on it, opening gift shops and offering public tours. As the Y2K drew near, the Kentucky Distillers’ Association registered a trademark and launched the official Kentucky Bourbon Trail. Initially, seven of the eight major distilleries were on it, and today eight more craft distilleries like Wilderness Trail are also included. The Bourbon Trail is said to have brought Kentucky 2.5 million tourists over the last five years.

2002: Four Roses Starts Selling Bourbon Again

A once venerable brand, in 1967 Seagram’s turned Four Roses into a blended whiskey, cutting it with grain neutral spirit and flavoring. And, yet, in Japan, it was still sold as a straight bourbon and was a huge hit. When Jim Rutledge took over as master distiller in 1995, he began lobbying his bosses to let Four Roses return to its former glory stateside. He finally got his wish when Japanese company Kirin bought the brand in 2002. The straight bourbon would indeed return to America, and by 2004 Four Roses was even selling single-barrel bottlings, offering drinkers a chance to try one of 10 mashbill-yeast recipes the distillery offers (something wholly unique in the industry).

2006: Willett Offers Single Barrels

Everything changed at Kentucky Bourbon Distillers when owner Even Kulsveen’s son Drew joined the family business in 2003. Almost immediately, he began taking the company’s incredible stock (more glut bourbon sourced from places like Bernheim, Heaven Hill, and even Stitzel-Weller), and releasing it as cask-strength, non-chill-filtered single barrels. Such well-aged and high-proof bourbons and ryes were almost unheard of at the time, and bottlings like Red Hook Rye and Doug’s Green Ink would soon become some of the most coveted American whiskeys of all time. Even today, Willett inspires a fanaticism among the cognoscenti matched by no other brand, not even Pappy.

2007: Parker’s Heritage and Other “LEs” Arrive

Buffalo Trace already had its limited releases like Van Winkles and its vaunted Buffalo Trace Antique Collection, and other distilleries would soon throw their own hats into the rarity ring. This Heaven Hill yearly limited edition release (or “LE” in collector parlance) would be one of the first to make its mark, named after the distillery’s beloved (and now-late) master distiller Parker Beam.

2007: Non-Kentucky Bourbons Appear

Lest we forget, Kentucky isn’t the only state legally allowed to make bourbon. And, as craft whiskey began ramping up in America in the mid-aughts, other states started taking a stab at it. One of the first was New York’s Hudson Baby Bourbon, produced by Tuthilltown Spirits in the Hudson Valley. Today, just about every state produces a bourbon or two, though, if you talk to a Kentuckian, they’ll tell you none of them are worth a damn. But we recommend tasting and deciding for yourself.

2012: The Black Market Emerges

Since bourbon had always been an everyman’s spirit, distilleries had often been skittish about overcharging for it. But, when everyone in the world wants Pappy Van Winkle, an MSRP of 80 bucks just ain’t gonna cut it. Thus, in the early 2010s a secondary market began to form, first ad hoc on eBay and Craigslist, before becoming a bit more organized via private groups on Facebook with names like Strong Water Showcase and BSM (Bourbon Secondary Market). Wheeling and dealing ensued and releases like George T. Stagg and Weller Full Proof started fetching closer to their true market value. Not everyone was happy, however; on June 13, 2019, Facebook shut down all secondary market groups.

2014: The Curtain is Pulled Back on MGP Madness

The industry’s dirty little secret was that many of these Iowa or West Virginia or Vermont craft “distilleries” weren’t actually distilling their own bourbons and ryes, but instead sourcing them from Midwest Grain Products (or MGP), a mega-factory distillery in Lawrenceburg, Ind. Luckily, MGP made quite good whiskey — and offered some of the oldest rye stock around — and helped brands like High West and Smooth Ambler attain stardom among whiskey geeks.

2020: Sticker Label Mania Foretells End Times

First, bars, retail outlets, and private whiskey groups started buying single barrel “picks” from the leading distilleries. Then, some of them began adding their own cartoonish decals to the bottle. Suddenly, merely having a 50-cent sticker on a single barrel pick of, say, Eagle Rare or Russell’s Reserve would magically turn it into something worth hundreds of dollars. The industry may not have fully jumped the shark yet, but, if you want to, you can probably buy a bottle with a shark sticker on it these days.

The article 24 Defining Moments in the History of Bourbon appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/complete-history-of-bourbon/

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zeeimpozzible · 7 years

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#HonorAndIntegrity

Two days before I went into surgery for spinal reconstruction, I wound up having to document my experience at #BassProShops in Bridgeport, Ct because they fucked up and tried to con me. They’ve gone as far as telling me that their employee didn’t lie to me! He only “exaggerated the truth”. Isn’t that a watered down version of lying?

Here’s what transpired:

So… here’s the scam they(Bass Pro Shop Garage) tried to pull. First, they never called me after they looked at the boat on Saturday. Made me think something was wrong… So I go down there yesterday and talk to the guy (Leigh) in parts I set up the inspection with.  First thing he tells me is that the technician fell through the floor in the boat and that there’s a hole there. I tell him I’ve been all over that boat and never felt unsafe. He sticks to his story. Then he tells me they got the engine started. But… a huge black cloud came out and the technician said it smelled like electrical so he shut the engine off, not wanting to start a fire. I play along. Then he tells me it could cost upwards to 6k to fix the engine, 15k got a new 150. BUT… he says the boat isn’t worthwhile fixing because it’s just going to be a can of worms and it would be better to… Wait for it… BUY A NEW BOAT! (Not done yet…) I ask to see the boat. He says it’s in one of the yards and will take about 20 minutes to arrive. Fine. He then proceeds to change his story about the hole in the boat. He says that under the seat behind the driver at the rear of the boat is “soft”. Mainly because now he’s going to get caught in a lie. I already know how meticulous my brother is, so the condition of the engine was never in question. But I allow him to continue with his spiel.  The boat arrives and he insists this huge black cloud was electrical in nature and I should just scrap the boat. Says he will give me $400 for the trailer and if I buy one of their boats, they’ll take care of getting rid of the boat.  I tell him I’ll get back to him and drive home, forgetting to bring the boat home with me. No sooner do I get in the house he calls me wondering when I’m coming back to take the boat. I guess he figured the jig was up. What he didn’t figure out was that I’m going to Corporate with this…

Which I did. The gentleman I spoke with was concerned and I was told it would be looked into. But I never received an apology or anything from the store.

Fast forward to Four Months later…

I’m feeling much better. Enough to bring the boat back down and give them another chance. I speak with the Boat Manager and we set a game plan. He tells me he’s going to order a part and to bring my boat in the next week and they’ll install it and do the maintenance they never got around to.

THREE WEEKS go by and I get a phone call saying there’s a problem with the boat. I tell them to fix it. They hang up the phone. ANOTHER MONTH goes by and I wind up calling THEM! I set up a meeting between the acting store manager, marine manager (who in turn gets the boat mechanic/technician manager) and they tell me my boat’s engine froze up at some point over the winter, damaging the head or possibly gaskets. They never went any deeper into it. But they’re not going to fix the boat. Instead, the Marine Manager, after bantering about with me, makes me an offer. “I can’t give you a NEW boat,” he says, “but take a look in the corral and see if there’s anything there you like.” No mention of cost, financing or anything. I figure he’s spoken with the head of sales in Springfield, Mo. since it has been a couple of days since the setting up the meeting. So, because he says he wants to make up for the problem and regain my trust, I take him at his word. He’s offering me a replacement because 1: I was taken advantage of the first time… and 2: I was made to wait TWO MONTHS on a job that should’ve taken two days. Now, eight weeks of waiting. Forty hours a work week x (conservatively) $25 a hour is $8000. I figure their integrity was at stake and they were going to make good on their offer. What a sham! They show me the perfect boat from up in Foxboro, Massachusetts. Price tag, used, is 24k. Nice. In my mind, a good neighbor policy plus great reviews and personal advertising for helping out a person out in my medical circumstances would do them far better than any Madison Avenue worker could. And at a better price, to boot. So Wednesday night, my wife and I go down to discuss their offer. And that’s when I’m blindsided.  Their “offer in good faith” turns out to be $4k for the trouble. I refresh his memory about the exact words he spoke to me. “Oh,” he says, “that’s not what I meant. Sorry.” And he tells me that, for the most part, I should be happy with that. He also questions my brother’s integrity as well as my own, tells me that I really don’t have that much influence because I’m “local”. Integrity is being called into question here. He made me an offer to give me a used boat. He NEVER SAID “I can’t give you a boat.” He said “I can’t give you a NEW boat”. I have kept and maintained my calm throughout this entire event. I ask him to consult corporate and run the numbers. He tells me he’ll get back to me on Friday. Today.  So I finally get to talk to Loretta, the Store Manager. I recorded the ENTIRE conversation. To make a long story short, they have given me a week to get my boat off their property(which I can’t do because the van is in the shop waiting on a steering column), they’ve contacted corporate and their legal department and no longer want to do ANY business with me! So much for integrity. So much for being taken at your word. I have NO USE for a company that shits on you, makes you a verbal offer of a used boat and then reneges on it and call both you and your brother incompetent. I won’t suggest what you can do to protest this slap in the face, but if you decide to act accordingly, make sure your ending statement is “I would’ve bought all this stuff from you but you screwed my friend and kicked him out of your store. Then leave it on the counter and never return again. Except to make your point again.

Now, the owner and CEO of the company, Johnny L. Morris, is a wonderfully, kind man. A great friend to fishermen. Honest. Has tons of integrity. I’m pretty sure he would be in disbelief of what these people did.

And, to top it off, they KNEW my tow vehicle was in the shop waiting on a steering column. So they tried to strongarm and intimidate me as well. Is this behavior proper OR acceptable?

No, on either count. But these days it seems Big Corporate feels it can get away with most anything because they have the Big Bucks and High Paid Attorneys and we’re just insignificant worms.

#bass pro shop #no integrity

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al32richards · 5 years

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5 Chicago Buildings to be Thankful for This Thanksgiving

A lot of people aren’t going to work this week, so chances are you’re not reading this. If you’ve buried your nose in your phone rather than listen to Uncle Earl lecture your mom — again — about how if it doesn’t say “USA” on the package, the turkey came from China, then read on to understand why there are so many architectural reasons to be thankful this Thanksgiving.

John Hancock Center at Christmas, 2008 (file)

1. The John Hancock Center – 875 North Michigan Avenue

It’s huge. It’s strong. But it’s somehow cuddly. Whether you fly or drive in, returning to Chicago and seeing the John Hancock Center waiting reliably for you on the shore of Lake Michigan is like coming back from college and getting a welcoming hug from dear old dad. Your dad wears suspenders; the Hancock Center wears cross-braces. Your dad has crazy Andy Rooney eyebrows; The Hancock has a pair of 400-foot-tall antennae. Your dad is sometimes dark and stern; Hancock has dark and stern to spare. And like your dad, the Hancock Center also a formal name: 875 North Michigan. But to you, he’ll always be “Dad.”

Lakeside Technology Center (file)

2. The Lakeside Technology Center – 350 East Cermak Road

After you’ve polished off the tater tot hot dish Aunt Ida brought down from Minnesota, clip the kids’ mittens to their coat sleeves and go on a scavenger hunt at the Lakeside Technology Center in the South Loop. Walk around the outside of this Howard Van Doren Shaw building that was once the world’s largest data center. Take in the shields, sailing ships, and mythical creatures that decorate this former phone book factory. Earn bonus points for explaining to your children that the reliefs of sirens that adorn this computer hotel were there for almost 50 years before Starbucks started using the aquatic creature to brand its cups of coffee. Points will be deducted if you don’t let your kids see the sirens because their boobs are out. Ever wear a bra underwater? Chafe city.

3. The Home Insurance Building – Adams and LaSalle

The northwest corner of Adams and LaSalle is notable not for what is there, but what isn’t: The world’s first skyscraper. The Home Insurance Building was the world’s first skyscraper when it was erected in 1885 to a William Le Baron Jenney design.

In recent years as the world becomes awash in revisionist history, buildings from Britain to Greece to China are trying to pretend they were the first. They weren’t. Even the formerly reliable Council on Tall Buildings and Urban Habitat has gone all wishy-washy on the topic as its reliability became questionable in recent years. (1 World Trade Center antenna: height-o-riffic. Willis Tower antenna: *crickets*.)

As pre-1970’s Chicagoans were wont to do, the Home Insurance Building was knocked down before anyone realized what a treasure it was. In its place now is the Bank of America Financial Center, known as the Field Building when it went up in 1934. This Graham, Anderson, Probst & White building, too, is full of lessons in history (last skyscraper to be erected in Chicago before a 20-year pause because of World War II), civics (it looks the way it does because of then-new city requirements about public light and air), geography (the pilasters at the entrance are made of marble from the Yule Creek Valley of Colorado), and economics (banks used to build huge, strong, historic-looking buildings to give people confidence that they were stable and would be around for a long time).

Marc Chegal’s Four Seasons in the Chase Tower plaza. (file)

4. Chase Tower – 10 South Dearborn Street

While the sloping design of the 60-story Chase Tower is worthy of a fawning essay in The Paris Review, we’re only here for the art. That art exists in a pavilion on the Dearborn Street side of the sunken south plaza. There, under a protective canopy, is a freaking I-shit-you-not Chegal.

It’s 168 feet long, wrapping around a 70×14 rectangle. It’s made of hundreds of thousands of tiny pieces of tile. It’s called Four Seasons and depicts senes of Chicago as seen by Marc Chegal, one of the greatest artists of the modern era.

This is world-class art, right here, in the middle of downtown Chicago, thanks to former Boston mayor and slaughterhouse magnate Frederick Prince, whose charity gave it to the people of Chicago in 1974.

Remember in the 90’s when Microsoft said the human eye could only see 256 colors? This artwork has 250 of them.

Remember that month you skipped buying lunch so that you could take the kids to the Art Institute to get some culture? This thing is right there, out in the open, for anyone to see and enjoy for exactly zero dollars.

Remember that clown Marty from Cleveland you met at the convention who said that Chicago was an ugly town? Yeah, well when one of the biggest names in the history of art spends a few years crafting scenes of the Mistake By The Lake, then we’ll talk, buck-o.

The Drake Hotel at Christmas, 2008 (file)

5. The historic Chicago hotel of your choice

Hotels are wonderful things. No, not the free-breakfast-and-garbage-wifi temporary business traveler mini-storage warehouses. And not the Japanese capsule hotels where the night clerk’s face washes over with horror when a six-and-a-half-foot tall Chicago architecture writer enters the lobby pulling a rolling suitcase stuffed with Meiji chocolate and random gashapons.

I’m taking about the full-service, umbrella-loaning, taxi-hailing, impossible-ticket-getting, blackout curtain-equipped, shoulder-brushing, feather pillow-having institutions with cloth napkin restaurants, potted palms, and shiny-buttoned bellhops at the ready.

These are places with epic lobbies suitable for browsing a newspaper in a language you can’t read, spying people kissing in a language you can’t speak, or just simply watching the world go by as you wait for a local insurrection to pass like a political thunderstorm. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from modern newspapers, old books, and 1940’s movies, it’s that while governments come and go, hotels remain.

Chicago has such places. They are treasures savored by others, but overlooked and underutilized by the locals. They exist as the cornerstones of a city that doesn’t understand how much it needs them. They are the places where historic music was made (The Ambassador East), where broadcasting was born (The Drake Hotel), and where the most powerful people in the world have laid their heads (The Palmer House).

And at this time of the year, those landmark hotels know how to make everyone from politicians to pipsqueaks feel special. The Peninsula, the Sofitel, and a half-dozen more bring out their best for the Christmas season. If you don’t have the dosh for afternoon tea (think eighty bucks a head), you are free to take a tour around the public areas and soak in the atmosphere, the music, the decorations, and the occasional miniature train set. You may even find an available overstuffed chair that will caress your keister with the same generous warmth its given to kings and gentlemen before you. Sit. Stay. For 20 minutes be the person you always wished you could be.

The next time the Chicago teachers go on strike; the next time world trade protestors march down Michigan avenue; the next time civilized people decide that acting in an uncivilized manner is the only way to achieve their goals, head to one of the city’s venerable hotels. Sit in the lobby. Listen to the whistles and drums and sirens outside. Then fluff your newspaper like Hemingway would in Cuba, like Bogie might in North Africa, like Count Rostov did in Moscow, and ask someone passing by what kind of tea they recommend on an afternoon such as this.

from Chicago Architecture https://www.chicagoarchitecture.org/2019/11/23/5-chicago-buildings-to-be-thankful-for-this-thanksgiving/

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chelsorz07 · 7 years

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does everybody hate my walks down memory lane yet?

This one’s actually a year older than the others. 2009 vs 2017

BASIC INFORMATION Name: chelsea. I mean my last name has changed but my first name hasn’t. Birthday: july 26. -- 274 days till i'm 21!! I guess 274 days till I’m 29? Shoe Size: eight. Nine. My feet got fat along with the rest of me. Hair Colour: dark reddish brown. Several different shades of reddish brown. Plus some grey. Eye Colour: hazel. More like green on the outside, brown on the inside. Hazel would be its own separate color. Relationship Status: taken. Married. Zodiac: leo. Still. School: none. Been done with that shit for a decade now. __________________________________________________ FAVOURITES Colour: green. Green, plaid, black, grey. Male Celebrity: mike lobel. Jensen Ackles. Female Celebrity: sophia bush. Danneel Ackles. Shoes: chucks & flip flops. My grey BareTraps booties. Brand: starting to realllly love old navy. especially when i can get pants, 2 shirts, and a jacket all for 36 bucks lol That’s really broad. Like brand of clothes? I don’t have one. Brand of makeup? Tarte. Brand of shoes? Nike. Brand of food? Great Value idk lol Book: second helpings. The dictionary. JK it’s still and will always be Second Helpings. Sport: football. Football. TV Show: one tree hill. Supernatural. Gum: bubblicious hubba bubba max blue raspberry. I don’t like gum anymore. Hair Colour on Opposite Sex: brown or black. Brown. __________________________________________________ NAME SOMETHING THAT STARTS WITH A: aftershave...no idea why that popped in my head haha Absolut vodka. B: bubbles. Barnacles. C: chicken. Cheerleading. D: dark. Dartboard. E: entertainment. Elliptical. F: fooooood. Frontierland (spn). G: great. Gyration. J: jizz lol Jell-o. K: knife. that was jo's answer but i can't think of anything else. Kiss. L: latino - where the hell are these words coming from lol Laser. M: mother. Megaphone. N: nicotine. Narcolepsy. O: otter. Outback Steakhouse because I just ate there the other day. P: poker. Petticoat. Wow. Q: quailman! Quaker Boy. Man I miss that job.

R: reese's cup. Rage. S: shit. Salmon. T: titties? Tupperware. U: underwear. Uganda. V: van. Ventriloquist. W: walker. Wakeboard. X: xylophone - and no you spelled it right lol X-ray. Y: yorkie. Yosemite. Z: zane (hot guy on H2o). Zillow. I’m in the market for a house. __________________________________________________ LOVE Have a Crush: you could say that. Many, on celebrities. Do they like you back: yep. They don’t even know me. Or are you in a Relationship Now: yeah. Married. If Someone Likes You: doesn't matter. It’s whatevs. __________________________________________________ 5.. 5 FAVOURITE MOVIES 1. bring it on. 2. grind. 3. halloween. 4. dirty dancing. 5. degrassi goes hollywood. not so much for the movie, but for the fact that manny & jay got back together. Mean Girls, Bring it On, Grind, Halloween, and Pocahontas. 5 FAVOURITE CELEBRITIES 1. keith urban. 2. mike lobel. 3. sophia bush. 4. hilarie burton. 5. and yes, james lafferty. Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Jared Padalecki, Randy Owen, and Johnny Rzeznik. 5 THINGS YOU FIND IN YOUR ROOM 1. pandas - everywhere. 2. bed. 3. guitars. 4. tv. 5. clothes all over the floor. Mini fridge, bookshelves, record player, still clothes all over the floor, and Dave because he’s sleeping right now. Or he’s trying to. 5 THINGS YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT 1. friends. 2. music. 3. chicken. 4. my phone. 5. beer. Money, Netflix, family/friends, Rockstar, and music. And cigarettes. 5 BEST ARTISTS/BANDS 1. goo goo dolls. 2. poison. 3. keith urban. 4. the spill canvas. 5. firehouse. Goo Goo Dolls, Alabama, Matchbox Twenty, All Time Low, and Sara Bareilles. 5 BEST BRANDS/STORES 1. old navy. 2. arizona/penney's. 3. avon. 4. spencer's. 5. thsirthell. Amazon, ULTA, Hot Topic, Sheetz, and Joann Fabrics just because I get a discount and they have all my Halloween decorations. __________________________________________________ QUESTIONS 1. Have an obsession? a few. Many. 2. Where do you plan to go this summer? road trip down south with mah bee eff eff. Well the Foo Fighters are gonna be in Cleveland July 25, which is the day before my birthday. So I wanna go to that. Also you can do tours of Waverly Hills Sanatorium in Louisville. 3. What Month is it? octoberrr. Obviously since I took this quiz eight years ago today, it’s also now October. 4. Anything big coming up? not really. Hopefully buying a house and moving home soon. 5. Why are you doing this? need something else to do while i watch gymnastics & wait for it to be 4 so i can watch the bills beat carolina. The sound on my tv keeps cutting out and it’s really aggravating so I got on my laptop to catch up on youtube videos but I got sidetracked doing this. 6. Like your parents? no. My dad yes. My mom...ehh, things are slowly improving. 7. Do you sleep with a teddy bear? heffalump. Nope. 8. Do you eat when you're nervous? i eat all the time. I didn’t even read my previous answer and “I eat all the time” popped into my head as soon as I saw the question. 9. Own a dress? surprisingly...i have like four or five...yeah, that's a lot for me lol I have a couple but I can’t wear them because of my skin. 10. Are you a fast typer? quite. 80-90 wpm. 11. Do you wanna have kids? no. Yes. 12. Who do you usually have Christmas dinner with? my parents, my sisters, mark, austen, maranda (now that she's here haha), cindy, and emily. and diane & the kids show up at some point during the day. My family but I won’t be home for Christmas this year. 13. Who do you celebrate New Years with? i haven't really celebrated it at all lately...but this year the crew's getting smashed for sure. I don’t celebrate it. 14. Where do you live? here. Ohio. Unfortunately. 15. Have you made a cootie catcher in your younger years? oh god, so many. Yeah a lot. 16. Plans this weekend? it's over. bowling, shopping, out with people, dinner, out again. Well this past weekend we went to Canton on Friday, I worked Saturday and then we got groceries, and we went home Sunday and came back here Monday. Next weekend I have no plans except work. 17. To your left is: wall, window, fan, cabinet, cd tower, atari stuff. Table, Dish remote, lamp, bottle of water, picture of my sister, some random mail, two candles, and Dave’s wallet/keys/deodorant/Axe spray. 18. To your right is: wall, fridge, pandas, guitars, amp, cabinet. My phone, Vizio remote, sound bar remote, another table with a bunch of crap on it, and the couch. 19. In your pocket is: nothing. Cigarettes, lighter, my debit card, and a Sheetz receipt. 20. Nervous about anything? kinda. Not really. 21. Scared of the Dark? nope. Negative. 22. Have any phobias? several. Driving, bridges, weather, specifically tornadoes even though I’ve never seen one, bees, being in public, the possibility of finding out that I can’t have kids, riding in a car with Dave, planes...I’m sure there are more but I can’t think of them all right now. 23.Your Opinion on Turtles? indifferent. Same. 24. Whats a Store near your house? save a lot, tops, arby's, family dollar, dollar general, the liquor store, CVS, the music store, goodwill, country fair, and all the places on main st. The closest one is a hair salon but idk if that counts as a “store”...probably one of the restaurants on 3rd st or Dollar General. 25. What did you do last march break? nothing? I don’t have March break. 26. Like Gum? only one kind. No. 27. Age you’d like to be? 274 days older than i am. Don’t care. 28. Place you would rather be? i'm good. Bradford. 29. Were you ever obsessed with High School Musical? haha yeah, i was for a while. You betcha. I still love it. Not the third one though. 30. Movie You Would like to see? paranormal activity. For the record, Paranormal Activity was shitty AF. I want to see Thank You For Your Service __________________________________________________ THE END Happy you're done? kinda. I have to poop so yeah I guess. What are you gonna do now? watch tv, watch football, then eat dinner. Poop, smoke a cigarette, and watch youtube videos.

#not spn #personal #about me #bring back myspace surveys 2k17 #i do what i want

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