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#DONT WORRY FOLKS WE TOOK OUT ALL HIS TEETH
erin-ashh · 1 month
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I cannot stop thinking about how Megamind coded Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? is
I THINK ABOUT IT DAILY
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maladaptivewriting · 28 days
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In ttpd, who’s afraid of little old me might be the most regulus coded song in the golden king. “I was tame, I was gentle, til the circus life made me mean. Don’t you worry folks, we took out all her teeth” and “I am what I am cuz you trained me” it’s all regulus adapting from his death eater era and choosing to take down Voldemort and destroy all the horcruxes. Especially cuz nobody would necessarily see him as a threat but he definitely is one
i agree with this especially because i dont think regulus sees himself as a threat
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my-castles-crumbling · 2 months
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Hi cas, it’s grieving anon. Here for the vibes today. TAYLOR SWIFT… I mean… 
So, ive had a few weird things happen. I got distracted and fell over, and injured myself so yay… and then I had the weirdest thing happen.
So I mentioned I got nightmares right? That I woke my mum up by shouting and sitting up in my sleep. So I have a bunk bed (small room- needed space for a desk). And a few days ago I had this creepy dream and legit propelled myself out of bed- still half asleep and panicking. Then had to climb back in. 
And last night I literally crawled from lying down to the other end of my bed and climbed over the bars and fell OVER and OFF my bed to the floor 😭
You know the length of like, a normal door? It was like that far that I fell. I woke up both my parents. 
IM 16! I shouldn’t be flying out of bed. Luckily i’m not too hurt tho. I remember the dream, I was just climbing over a fence, I couldn’t feel the floor but I knew it was there so I let go, and then I WOKE UP ON MY FUCKIGN FLOOR. 
Like whyyyyy.
Anyway. So Long, London. My first favourite. “HOW MUCH SAD DID YOU, think I had, did you, think I had in me, HOW MUCH TRAGEDY?”
Then, of course, I Can Do It With A Broken Heart. AMAZING. Yes.
And, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? 
So far, they’re my fav but i’m sure the others will claw their way into my heart too. 
Anyway, my sisters been annoying me. She seems annoyingly fine. She called all the injury’s i’ve been getting “pre-exam” injuries… NO! They’re post fucking death injuries. 
I know her, I know she’s suffering in silence. But it means whenever I see her, she seems fine. And it’s fucking annoying. 
I don’t know anymore. My mum, she said her nightmares went away after my Nans death when she went to a grief therapist or something. i’ve never gone to a therapist. I don’t know how it’d feel. And, I don’t really have the time. 
But I don’t want to wake up on my floor again. 
I feel like I blinked and my life became this mess I can’t control. And I have no energy to anymore. I lost all my fire. I used to strive to learn and care and participate. Now i’d happily rot away. Why bother. 
Anyway (that’s like the third time i’ve said that now 🤦‍♀️) “IM JUST GETTING COLOUR BACK INTO MY FACE IM JUST MAD AS HELL CAUSE I LOVED THIS PLACE” 
Writing these at the end of some of my days has been very stress relieving so thank you. I’ve bullied myself into not picking the scab on the horrid massive cut I got from falling over. I’ve refrained from pressing into the bruises I got from sleep falling/climbing off my stupid bed. 
“IS IT A WONDER I BROKE. LETS HEAR ONE MORE JOKE”
 This isn’t even my usual music vibe 😭
“DONT YOU WORRY FOLKS, WE TOOK OUT ALL HER TEETH” Iconic. 
“YOU SHOULD BE. YOU SHOULD BE.”
“YOU WOULDN’T LAST AN HOUR IN THE ASYLUM WHERE THEY RAISED ME”
Literally everything i’ve tried to do this week has failed. School work, running, sleeping.
I’m so tired. 
Hi hon! I'm so glad to hear from you! <3
Nightmares after a loss are SUPER common, and you're right to know that they don't have to do with exams. As far as therapy, I know you said you don't have time, and I used to say the same thing but then I got to thinking...
I wasted SO much time being sad, run down, anxious, depressed. Like I probably spent at least an hour a day in anxiety paralysis, you know? So devoting an hour a week to STOPPING those symptoms actually saves me time, in the long run.
It may not feel the same for you, but it's something to think about! <3
I'm so glad you like TTPD. Using music to cope is also super helpful. Screaming lyrics is so...emotionally rejuvinating.
Keep messaging me <3 I'm thinking of you!
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pearlsartblog2019 · 3 years
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steam powered pirates
Steam Powered Pirates
She always loved how the Sea smelled after a storm. The relief, the fresh air, as if all the worries and cares in the world had blown away on those awful winds and the world was going to be ok. Of course she knew that was lil more than a dream. The last fight had been horrid, they were heading to port today to get the repairs made. Wanting to keep her safe from the marauders, Her father had shut her in his cabin. Locking the door and telling her under no circumstances were she to come out. That of course was the first door they broke down. Yah ok, So the Beciles scared her. Pearl wasn’t going to deny it one bit. The fact that their first mate was already jealous as hell of her father didn't make it any easier. That all of them were fruit cakes just added another layer. But the look on Skulls face, the utter hatred and envy.  Then him trying to manhandle her, promising that he’d send her to the bottom. “Time to go see your mother lil one,” He had sneered at her. That scared her more than she would ever wanna admit. Her father, Spine Walter, had told her that she didn't even need to be out on deck today to help if she didn't want to. But work would get her mind off of the insanity of it all. The storm, The Beciles, all of it. So here she was, out in the wind, helping Dex bring in the nets. Because if she didn’t have something to occupy her mind, Pearl Walter was gonna go stark raving mad. “You sure yer up for this lil bit?” Her cousin asked as he lodged the Gaff in the net pulleys. “Yah,” She ran a hand through her black hair, “I kinda have to be. Everyone around here has to pull their weight, Dex.” “That's bull,” her Cousin told her, “Even the captain said you don't have to do this if you're not up to it.” “I wanna tho,” Pearl looked out over the ocean, “Get my mind off of all of that. Ok?” “Ok kiddo,” Dex reached over and ruffled her dark hair, “Just dont OVER do it ok?”She nodded and was about to say more when the pulleys squeaked to high heaven indicating that there was something way too heavy in the nets. “What in heaven's name?” Pearl looked down over the edge and all she could see was what looked like a mass of seaweed. “What did we haul in?” Dex asked. “I… I’m not sure.. Looks like a clump of.. “ She trailed off as the nets reached the deck and the hissing started. Like a million pissed off sea snakes, something in that mass of seaweed was  UNHAPPY.Dex promptly lurched back from the nets and proceeded to shove Pearl behind him. “Whoa,” He said, “We reeled in something didn't we?” “Yah we…” Before Pearl could finish the hissing was replaced with screeching and then crying. “Ok what in the?” By now the commotion had gotten the attention of everyone else on the ship and they were all heading over to see what the two of them had found. “What's in there?” Her uncle Jon asked as he walked up. (note: Jon strikes me as the kind that takes care of folks so he’s the ship's medic.)Pearl shook her head and turned back to the nets. “I dunno.” “Well let's set it down and see what we find,” Dex said as he swung it over the side and proceeded to lower the net down. Now it was clear that there was something alive in there, because whatever it was started thrashing and screeching more. That was when Pearl got a look at her face. Yes HER face. Blue eyes peered out from the mess of sea weed and she looked panic stricken. It didn’t even occur to pearl that it might be a lil odd there was a girl caught up in the net. All she could think about in that instant was getting her out. “HEY!!” Pearl called and headed over, “HEY calm down or you're gonna hurt yourself!! There are hooks in there! If you squirm, yer gonna get cut!” The girl looked up at pearl and hissed again, displaying sharp teeth at her.  “GET ME OUT!!” she cried, “Please they might be back!!” “Hey it's o k,” Jon headed over to check her with pearl while the rest of the crew and family started appearing. “Hey we gotta get her out Uncle Jon,” Pearl told her, “She’s all tangled in there and will get …” “Hush Lil Bit,” he told her, “I know. First we gotta calm her down.”The girl hissed at him again but now looked more afraid than ferocious, “Please get me out. They chased me… I got scared and…” Jon smiled, “It's ok.. I promise we will get you loose..” he moved over and started working on detalingling the net. It was in such a state tho that salvaing it and getting the girl out appeared to be impossible. Jon made a face and then turned to pearl, “lil bit do you still have that knife?” “Yah,” Pearl reached down and pulled it out, “I never really use it for anything but to cut rope tho.” “Perfect, “ Jon s miled, “Yer dad is gonna skin my arse for this but I’ll replace the net later. “ By now the dad in question, Spine,  had been called and Along with the rest of the walters had come over to see what in the heck had happened. “What…” That was when he looked down and saw the girl with blue eyes looking at him. By now more of her was loose from the net and she had long curly brown hair, blue eyes and looked like she was about to bolt over the side of the deck the moment she got the chance. Rabbit, Hatchworth, Zero, And Upgrade were also running up to see all of this, closely followed By Peter. “She was caught in the net daddy,” Pearl told him. Spine looked on in awe, “Sweetie if she was in the net then she…” “Siren,” The girl said, “I’m a Siren and my name is sprocket.” Dex walked over and shoved his hair out of his eyes, “Whoa… “ Jon held up his hands,”ok first things first let's get her cut loose from this thing and then see if She's hurt ok?” Pearl nodded and went back to helping Jon get her loose from the net, while they worked he talked to Some of the others. “Rabbit, Upgrade, I’m gonna need you two to go fire up the bilge and fill the display tank ok? We need some place so she can breathe and be safe…” Pearl saw the siren girl Sprocket Shudder a bit, “D… Display?” Pearl Realized that might scare her, “Oh no sweetie.. It's nothing like that. Sometimes we catch fishes and stuff, we have a place to keep them. It's a nice big tank up on the deck with a really cool thing the captain made to keep the water clean.  You can stay there till we find your home.” Sprocket looked at her and shook her head, “I.. I don't have a  home…” Jon smiled at her and continued working on the net, “Well then you can stay with us until you find one. If you never do, then this can be your home. WHen you're a little older you’ll learn how to  have legs on dry land .. then you can just if you like. Till then we’ll keep you nice and cozy ok? We’ll even make it bigger for you in the next town.” By now this had gotten the captain's attention and Peter came over to check on everyone. He took one look at the lil siren and smiled at her, “Hey there. I'm sorry if we scared you. Wow i’ve not seen a siren since i was lil.” He knelt down next to her, “I'm sorry about all of this mess. Last night was kinda a trial.” “They caused it!” The lil siren snapped, “The Monsters on that other boat! They caused it!!”The whole crew froze when they heard her say those words. Everyone knew there could only be one other crew that she was talking about. There had only been one other boat in the area last night. “Oh honey,” Spine came over and knelt down, “Did the Beciles cause this? And we fought  with them, so we were part of it. I”m so sorry lil one. “Sprocket stared at the tall man with green eyes kneeling before her, and then over at the young girl and the ship's doc. Unlike the other crew she could feel that they were good people and so she shook her head. “You aren't like them.. This was.. An .. an accident. “ She said “Very much so,” Jon told her, “now let's finish getting you out of that net and… Oh no..” He had finished cutting away the net but now he could see that around the shiny black tail of the lil siren, strings of  hooks were embedded in there. They were not the kind that the walters used, for these were meant to not only catch, but catch sea creatures as painfully as possible. When their crew had to catch fish for food or to trade, they desperately tried to only use nets. When they DID have to use hooks they made sure to use only one barb hooks, that caught in the mouth of fish as painlessly as possible. For they wished to take the fishes alive to trade for aquariums and such. But no, the hooks wrapped around and digging into the young siren’s tail were made to kill. To catch and then cause the creature they had caught to bleed out. They were horrid and deeply painful. “OH sweet heart,” Spine gasped, “What did they… “ “Easy now Bro, I need you to go and get me a blanket so I can get her out of the net. I don't want her quills broken and that's the safest way to do it. “ Upon mentioning that Pearl looked and saw that the siren girl did have a long line of quills going down her back and to the end of her tail. SPine nodded and took off to get it, Then Jon turned to Peter. “Now sir I’m gonna need you to help me with this and then we will need to get her into the fresh seawater Rabbit and Upgrade are pumping into the tank. “ “Ok,” The captain nodded. He then turned and asked for Hatchworth and Zero to mind the ship and keep them on course for the moment. They agreed and a few seconds later, Spine returned with the blanket for the siren. “Ok kiddo,” Jon told her, “I need you to let me wrap you up ok? Then we're gonna take you some place and get those nasties outta that pretty tail ok?” Sprocket nodded and let them wrap her up and then carry her away. Pearl stayed on the deck with Spine and watched as they carried her below decks. “Skull tried to kill her, didn't he, daddy?” Pearl asked softly. Spine had to sigh a bit at that, “I think he may have Lil bit. But he won't ever be able to hurt her again. I promise.” “Are… are we going to keep her  here daddy?” Pearl asked Looking up at him with wide eyes. “Until we find her home, “ Spine smiled down at her, “Yes we are.” Pearl nodded, “good. I think she needs a family daddy.” “ I think you might be right LIl bit. “ Spine gave her a hug, “And I think you and Me might just be up to that job.” Pearl gave him a hug back and then went back to help Dex with the things for the ship. A few hours later during her studying time, there was a soft knock on the door and it was Jon telling her that if she wanted to come see Sprocket she was allowed to now. Pearl jumped up and headed out for the deck as fast as she could. In the few hours that had passed the display tank had been draped with curtains on the inside that could be pulled down her back to give the lil siren privacy if she so chose. Some waterproof blankets and pillows made of material that would stay down had been added. So now the lil siren was curled up with one of them appearing to doze. A lot of her tail had been wrapped in bandages and she appeared to be well and truly asleep. Pearl smiled and came up to sit down next to the tank. Sprocket must have sensed her because she opened her blue eyes and smiled into Pearl’s pink ones. “Onechan,” Pearl said softly. “Hmmmm?” Sprocket asked, apparently able to hear her somehow. Pearl instantly blushed but smiled, “it's from my mother’s home language. “ “Oh?” Sprocket asked. “It.. it means Big sister.” Pearl said shyly. Sprocket smiled more, “how do you say lil sister?” “Imoto,” Pearl told her. “Imoto?” Sprocket smiled about going back to sleep “Imoto, i like that. Thank you for saving me.” “Go back to sleep, Onechan,” Pearl told her. “I promise to keep you safe.” Sprocket smiled and nodded, “Thank you Imoto. See you tomorrow.” Pearl nodded and leaned against the tank, “Doitashemaste Onechan. Sleep tight.” ( Note: Doitashemaste means your welcome) 
Part Two:
There was a strong wind blowing up, predicting that there might be a storm coming in tonight,  for the moment tho the sky was clear and pearl was enjoying being up in the first of the two crows nest that the ship had. She was leaning against the railing when she heard a knock on the hull of the ship. She looked down and smiled. Hopped down from her perch and moved over to swing one particular Gaff out over the side of the ship. A few moments later she had lowered the ingenious contraption the captain had  made and was pulling the person that had knocked on the ship back up. She smiled when it reached the level of the deck and there Sat her big sister swishing her almost completely healed tail back and forth. “How was it today?” Pearl asked. Sprocket smiled and reached up to pull on the rope to swing the contraption over her Tank. “Cold but it felt good. Hehe I think The Captain's heated water here for me is starting to spoil me a bit!” Pearl grinned, “we are all spoiled on it for baths too!! “ She moved the controls on the contraption so it was over Sprocket's tank and the lil siren slipped off of it and into the  heated water. Then after a few moments of warming up, popped back up to the surface of the tank as Pearl headed back up to the crows nest. “So you think there’s gonna be a blow tonight?” Pearl asked. Sprocket nodded, “Yah there’s definitely something coming in on the current. It's a lil odd. I hope it's not gonna be too wild!”
Pearl nodded and plopped back into her seat, “We should hit port tomorrow. We’ll be picking up Uno and a lot of supplies.” “That will be nice, “ The lil siren smiled, “I really can't wait to meet her.” Pearl grinned more,” You’ll love her. She's a whole lot more logical than me but she’s also a lot of fun. She's smart, pretty and a damn good cook too.” Sprocket laughed, “no one is better than you sis, I’m sure i’ll get on great with our cousin tho.” Pearl smiled and was about to say more when Dex hollered down from the higher up crows nest, “HEY RUNT!!” “Yah?” Pearl called up, “What?” “Can you get up here? I need those eagle eyes of yours!” he called down more. Pearl smiled and sprocket “I’ll be right back.” Sprocket nodded and went back to looking out over the waves as her sister clambered up the ladder to join their Cousin up top. “What is it?” Pearl asked. He handed her the Spy glass, “Look over there and tell me that's not what i think it is,” He told her darkly. Pearl looked at him in dread for a moment and then took the glass. She looked through it and out to the west looking for what her cousin was seeing. She felt her blood run cold when she got one look at it. That black ship sails with the strange green tinge. The name of the ship’s owner, BECIEL, Emblazoned on the side in that same noxious green. Pearl Screamed and nearly dropped the spy glass when she saw them. “That’s what I was afraid of, “ Dex told her, “Come on we gotta get down and warn everyone.” Both of them quickly scrambled down the pole and went to find out where the captain and Their parents were. A few moments later the captain was up on deck and the black ship with the green glow was getting that much closer. “Every one batten down the hatches and hit full sail,” The Captain ordered. “If we make it to port before them, they won't be able to attack.” “You heard the man!” Pearl heard her dad shout, “Let's make it happen!” Then everyone on the ship exploded in furious motion, Getting the ship tightened down and then getting it ready to move. Sprocket had no idea what on earth was going on when everyone suddenly burst into motion, but she watched from her tank as it happened. She was after a few moments of trying to flag down Pearl, able to get her attention. “What's going on!!” She asked. Pearl looked over her shoulder and off into the distance, “The Beciles. They’re after  us again. We're gonna try  and beat them to port. Hang on tight sis this might be a bit of a wild ride. “ Sprocket looked off into the distance and saw dark clouds rolling up as well. There was a storm of several kinds coming tonight, she hoped everyone survived. Hours later; The lil siren hunkered down in her tank and for the millionth time that night wished she could at least for a few moments have legs. Despite all the efforts to out run them, Despite the walter ship being faster, It was as if some infernal power fed the becile ship and it had caught up with them, or nearly so. Now the monsters tailed them and fired shots at them every chance they got. Along with that, the storm had caught them too. So in tandem with the crack and booms of the other ships' guns, the cracks and booms of thunder and lightning blasted them as well. She huddled in a corner and watched the rain lash the outside of her tank with the fury of a thousand angry sea gods. Sometimes she wondered in this long night, if they had somehow angered the gods. She watched as her family  had to cut the sails to keep them from being ripped  up in the wind and that gave the other ship the time it needed to catch them. It was more than slightly insane at this point, and she just hoped somehow they lived through this. That was when she saw something she never thought she'd see in a million years. Her sister was on the deck and looked over to the other ship. There was a girl on the deck even younger than the two of them. Something about her caught Sprocket’s eye but she wasn't able to make it out. What she did see was the First Mate of that crew, The Hideous copy cat of her own loving father, Known as the skull for his cadaverous appearance, Backhand the other girl. IF skull was as strong as Spine was, Sprocket knew that had to hurt. Even if the girl was part of that evil, evil group. That was uncalled for. On top of that, the monster did it just as the other ship tilted from one of their own blasts, and the younger girl went flying. Over the side of the ship, face first into the waters before. The walters got in a lucky shot then and the Becile ship  had to pull away. Pearl had seen this and came running up with Dex. “WE CAN'T LET HER DROWN!!” Pearl screamed over the howl of the wind. Dex nodded and gave Pearl a rope. “Don't let that thing come un-tied!!” He shouted. Then against all good sense, Sprocket watched as pearl climbed onto the side of the ship and launched herself, Her TINY SELF, into the white froth below. “PEARL!!” Sprocket screamed at the top of her voice, THen launched herself at the cover on the tank and sent it flapping in the wind. Dex turned in time to see the siren  jump up onto the side of her tank and then launch herself into the wild sea after her sister. “SPROCKET!!”  Dex howled in horror. Then the second horror hit. He felt the rope that had been holding pearl go slack and started pulling on it as hard as he could, only coming back with a frayed edge.
“OH GOD!” Below the surface the water was calmer but still wild. Sprocket back in her element, looked around for her sister and the other girl. Out of the corner of her eye, in a flash of lightning from the surface she saw it. The frayed edge of the rope that had been around Pearl’s waist. She dove after it madly and tugged on it. Moments later she had reached  her sister who looked like she was about to swallow half of the ocean. There was also the girl that her sister had her arms around. Younger than either of them, the girl looked like she’d been treated horridly. Maybe she hadn’t been one of them? Maybe a prisoner? Then Sprocket looked below her sister's face and arms and saw something. The other girl had a TAIL. Brassy and gold colored, lacking quills like her own, The other girl was a MERMAID. And they were both out cold. She wrapped the Rope around her arms and then grabbed Pearl and the other girl, Heading for the surface hoping to find some place to ride out the storm. The next morning: On the ship The Spine was frantic and not taking no for an answer. Everyone else had decided that both of the lil girls were most likely  lost to them forever. Sprocket might be able to survive on her own, but pearl…. Spine wasn't having it. Sprocket had dove in after her sister and he firmly believed that she would save pearl. That they were out there somewhere and he was going to keep searching  until he found them. EVen Rabbit was to the point where she was about to tell her brother that it was time to give up, the girls were most likely gone, when suddenly they all heard it. They  were sailing past a TINY outcropping of rock, No bigger than the ship’s deck, when they heard it. Singing. Singing Spine KNEW. Everyone looked at The captain and he stepped aside letting spine have the wheel Everysingle member of the crew there and then deciding to never doubt Anything that Spine believed in ever again. Moments later the ship pulled up beside the rocks and they all looked down to see a very  roughed up set of three girls huddled together on the rock. “Hush,” Pearl griped, sounding very hoarse. “I did what I had to do.” “Yah but it was STILL STUPID,” Sprocket told her, “next time you see someone fall off a ship maybe get the person that can breath  under water?” “I panicked, “ Pearl continued. “I Noticed,” Sprocket told her, hugging her more. THen the siren looked up and saw the ship pulling up beside them. “HEY!! OI!!” She screamed and waved, “GIRLS OVERBOARD!!” “WE NOTICED!” Dex called down to them as he and the rest of the crew started climbing down to pull all of them to safety . Everyone marveled at the other lil mermaid they had found. Spine Gave Pearl up into Jon’s care along with the new lil one and then hugged Sprocket, being careful of her quills. “YOU ARE SO BRAVE,” He told her, “My brave girl. My lil hero.” He laid his cheek on her brown curls, “Thank you for saving your sister.” “Sisters,” she corrected him, “We can't leave her alone daddy. Not after what the becils did to her.” “We won't,” He hugged her more, “I promise. “ Rabbit came over with a grin, “Are you SURE she’s not yours by blood?” Spine and Sprocket looked up and gave her identical looks with raised eyebrows, “Nope nope, “ Rabbit waved her hands, “At some point you did a mermaid and she happened. You can't deny it any more. She’s JUST LIKE YOU.” Spine had to smile at that, “Of course she is,” Spine told His older sister, “She’s my daughter. Plain and simple. “ Sprocket smiled in pleasure at that, and leaned her head on Spine’s shoulder. “Can I go back to my tank now daddy? I'm frozen, tired and wanna sleep for a week.” He nodded and kissed her, “Of course love. My brave girl. Let's get you settled and I’ll check on your sisters. “ She gave a deep sigh and leaned into her father’s arms,” Thanks daddy .”
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askyancy · 5 years
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A choice...
OOC: Below the cut is extracted from the discord. A certain duo paid Yancy a visit in his time of need.  With this, our trio story is finally all wrapped up in a big bow and tomorrow brings a new story! We’ve been planning it for a while now and can’t wait for you all to take part and see what’s in store! Yancy - @askyancy​ Actor Mark - @actor-mark​ Darkiplier - @markimoojackaboi​
YancyYesterday at 7:05 PM
Yancy hadn't come back to his cell yet, having left Sparkles with Jimmy and Hank, a bit of high alcohol content hooch to drown out the worries. Yancy wasn't much for drinking, instead he'd wandered off... through the nooks and crannies, the holes in the walls and floors. Off to a small secluded and rather secretive location that only he knew of. It was HIS place..... His private hole in the wall. Several floors below the prison and so far away from it all that he could sing to his hearts content and not be heard at all. He'd been down here before.. many times... Yancys-studio was as isolated and alone as he could ever possibly hope for.....
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He was pacing.... Back forth back forth. 7 steps left 7 steps back again. chewing on the end of his thumb. His brain wrought with worry, with conflict. All my fault... This is all my Fault He couldn't stand hearing that Bambam wasn't going to make it. They'd been updated after class. Bambams heart was slowing down... Doctors said it was just a matter of time. Time was all Yancy could hope for now.... More time.. just give them more time and maybe they'll pull through.... It felt surreal and tormenting knowing that there was nothing he could do. Not a damned thing. So he'd pace.... Pace and wear a hole in the concrete floor. The studio was a basement crawlspace of dusty concrete and piping, a support beam stands in the center and the whole little crook sits 2 floors deep beneath the kitchen. The far wall has been fitted with many small mirrors to make up one large dance studio-esque mirror. Not much to look at but it served the purpose. But Yancy wouldn't dare to look at his reflection as it stalked him back and forth across the room. over and over....
The cold basement hide away had almost completely still air, never really changing from part of the room to another. Cold that settled on top of the skin but never penetrating deeper than that. It was dusty. Even if Yancy cleaned it every day it would remain slightly dirty due to it's concrete walls, celling, and floor....
Yancy gave a shiver, the cold of the room prickling but it was more his unstoppable anxiety making his back tense up so much. He paused in his pacing, trying to shift his attention away. Maybe to tumblr? But doing so only reminded him he hadn't even touched it all day... One small post, an update on Bambam.... After he was done he slowly sank against a wall, knees to his chest and just hunched forward a little into them, burying his face to cry alone. He couldn't bare to be up there with the others anymore. Couldnt bare that sight of his own cell or knowing that Bambam's would be empty now. There was no way Sparkles would stay in there alone. Maybe they'd go stay with that Dusty person? He didnt even want to think about losing the rest of his family now Bambam was gone... but what if the gang started falling apart? Tiny was never really interested in any of them, Jimmy and Hank tended to stick together and Sparkles was very different from Yancy, and likely seeing Yancy would only bring up memories of Bambam..... Would he lose them all!?
He slowly pulled himself together and ran a hand over his face, standing back up and eyed his phone again... Maybe he could say hi to the discord folks? They should know too right? Then again he'd alerted the blog. they'd know... He found himself pacing again, the same track...  "You look a little lost, friend."
Yancy whirled around, straight for the exit and paused. .... No one? He spun in a circle, eyes all over the room. Not a soul.  "Wh-......." Had he just imagined it?  "Ohp Don't make yourself dizzy now!"  "Who's dere!?" Yancy growled low, territorial mode sinking in, ready to defend his little hidey hole.  "A friend~"  "YOUSE SHOW YOUSES SELF!"
There was n eerie echo in the room as Yancy's voice boomed out, it seemed to carry more than it should have....
"..... Wow. Angry little Tiger aren't we? " "Sh-shut up... Who are youse?" 
“What's with the weird accent?” "I SAID SHUT UP!.... Tell me who youse is!" "
....................................
 "ANSWER ME!" 
“Oh I'm sorry I thought you wanted me to shut up”
Yancy grit his teeth. "..... Youse just.. leave me alone... I aint in de mood"
Yancy backed up a bit away from the door. 
“Oh c'mon now friend. I came to offer you the help you so desperately need. Don't worry..er.. Yancy was it?”
 "It's Yancy..." 
“That's what I-.... nevermind...”
 "Where de heck is you--" He'd started turning around again but leapt half a mile back when he discovered a man standing directly behind him. 
“Ahaha Oh I'm sorry! Didn't meant to startle you friend!”
 "Wh-How..How did youse-... " His left hand was burning like he'd punched lava. 
“Best not to question the minor details. Just enjoy the ride!”
The man stepped closer and had the most sickening grin on his face. 
“Do you have any idea how long I've been trying to find you?” Yancy started to step backwards, his left fist curling tightly. This guy had the kind of face you just... couldn't trust. Bit of a douche...  "....wait.... y-"
"Oh?” the man grinned, eager to see if Yancy caught on that he'd met him before.  "Youse-.... Youse been looking for me?" Mark's face dropped. Wow what a dumbo. 
“Yes of course. Why wouldn't I wanna find the little "Golden Boy" that everyone's suddenly more in love with?”
".... more?" 
“Ahaha.. not to worry not to worry! We're all friends here at Happy Trails Penitentiary.”
"Yancy shifted slowly into a boxing stance, but kept his fists to his sides for the moment, ready to raise at a moments notice. "Who de heck are youse?" 
“Still talking like that? Youse? Its you. Eesh... Aren't you from Ohio?”
"Sh..shut up" 
“Hold on wait”
Mark pulled a script from his suit jacket and started flipping through it 
“What ending was yours? ... Life Sentence? .... No no....  I want to be free? That was it! Hm... Oh and Dance to the death too. You got a whole three videos how cute. Or was it four?....”
 flick flick.... "Wh-....what are youse even on ab-..." His left hand felt like fire, the skin turning red and he had to shake it off to the side, eyeing the lettering..... "....M... Mark?" 
“Aha! There you are! Took you a while but you got there! You almost remind me of someone ahaha!”
"Wh-....... " 
“Oh don't act so shocked. You already knew I was coming. They went and spoiled everything for you”
"Wh-Who? What? I didn't knows yous...." 
“your discord friends! They spoiled everything! ...Was really supposed to be a surprise but eh... Not like they can see you now.”
"_Yancy went wide eyed "H-.. Youse is on the discord?" 
“Of course I am! Why wouldn't I wanna chat to the wonderful, handsome, famous Yancy! The notorious killer! The brutal violent slaughter tiger! Such a cutie so precious so soft so sweet and so brutal oooof~”
Mark fanned himself and laughed, pacing around the room now. As he walked the floor seemed to change... Concrete turning to wood. Yancy stepped back and away from it, wary to touch it but eventually he ended up pressed against the mirror and unable to avoid it.
"You seem so afraid? Why? Where's all that gusto? All the bravado? the punch and the sweep!”
"Y-YOUSE KNOCK IT OFF"
"Oh calm down Yancy! ... Always the big softie. Youre supposed to be a brutal killer!”
"I aint any o dose t'ings youse callin me!"
"Oh? What about Ma and Pa? What about Frankie? What about-”
"DONT!"
"Oops touched a nerve!”
Mark paced slowly around him like a predator stalking prey. His reflection seemed to shake and show something different entirely.
"Wouldnt want to wake up that killer tiger now would we”
Yancy grit his teeth, stooping down to grab a left over stone from the floor transforming, making sure Mark was too in his own monologue to notice. "
“You're a violent and brutal villain, Yancy. Unlike that Illinois fellow. Or the captain! Both precious angels, heroes! Never did no wrong not to anyone! But you? You've killed FOUR people! FOUR!”
"St-STOP IT!" 
“And yet they fawn over you like a baby... Just like your mothe-”
The rock went sailing right at Mark's face with a fast baseball styled swing, he had just enough time to duck. The rock hit the glass of the mirror, leaving a crack. 
“Oooooooh!!! There it is! Tsk tsk Yancy! You gotta be more careful! Wouldn't want to make it five now would we!”
The mirror cracked and splintered, shards of glass falling to the ground and echoing through the dance space like crystalline wind chimes. It felt like the air was sucked out of the room for a few seconds, almost like an airlock seal breaking. Propped up against the wall was a humble broom that had seen better years. It had stayed in the same place so long that a spider had made its home in the space between the wood and the wall. Without warning, it fell forward, bouncing off the ground like it had been pushed roughly and it clattered with a sound that would be louder and more startling than a mirror cracking.. Yancy jumped and yelped at the crash of the broom. Backing up as far as he could go, his heart racing and his left hand burning like crazy.  "Y-.. L-Leave me alone!" 
“Oh but my dear, sweet, boy! ...... I came to help you~”
"Wh- h..help me?" Yancy's eyes darted to the fallen broom again, his defensive stance faltering, his footwork off, his fists barely tight. Fear gripping him by the shoulders. "I-..I dont want youses help!" 
“...buhuhaha.. You sure? What about poor Micheal?”he paused 
“Sorry.. Bambam. Cute name. Shame Evan and Sarah didn't get to be as involved but that's scheduling for you.”
"Wh-What de hell are youse on ab-.... G.. Go away! I MEAN IT!" 
“Nooooo you doooonnnttt~”Mark sing songed at him 
“Oooh! Nice acoustics in here! aaaaAAAAAaaaaaoooooohh~”
"............... J-...just leave me alone
"Oh alright alright ffffffine. Let Bambam die for all I care. Clearly you dont”
the squeaking sound of glass scraping glass as the mirror cracked just a bit more with every word out of Actor Marks mouth. The reflections seemed to blur and wobble just a bit like a layer of dew began to set in. As the mirror became harder to see through, the edges began to fog up, slowly moving to cover each mirror. The room was cold, unchanging in temperature. But it began to smell... wet. There wasn’t the sound of finger tracing a window, and yet Yancy could see in the mirror next to the mirror that shattered began to have the outlines of a word as if they had always been there.* L I A R
Yancy stared in horror as he watched the actor parade around his little studio. Mark leaned against the beam in the middle, placing a hand on it then watched as it proceeded to get a new lick of paint, slowly flowing over it top to bottom spreading out from where he'd touched. "W-wait..y..youse can..help?" He was watching Mark who..clearly wasn't leaving despite his words. Watching how he was changing his studio to be...better.... 
“We-hehe-ll of course I can!! Why else would I bother looking for you? Can't have previous baby Yancy all distressed now can we!”
Yancy's eyes traced the letters on the mirror that Mark hadn't noticed yet. Was Mark doing that too?  "Y-.........Youse can save Bambam?" 
“Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeelll...... Not exactly save BUT! I can bring them back. From what I can tell they're noit doing so hot right now. Heart beat's getting slower. Doesn't have long. I'd say maybe.. midnight?”
"Wh- NO!" Yancy rushed forward, paused and Mark grinned. 
“Course if they die, I can bring them back. No strings attached, no deals, no price, no currency, no favors, no nothing. how about it?” Mark held out his hand.(edited)
There was an eerie chill to the air as it seemed into his bones. The fog on the glass seemed to crystallize and freeze a little more. The mirror on the other side had the word.
C H E A T
But whoever was leaving messages didn’t stop at one.
M U R D E R E R
P O I S O N
F A K E
F R A U D
More and more as they began to clutter the available space. Something odd began to happen. The areas around Mark’s silhouette  became more crowded than the rest while the shadow remained unwritten, outlining him in words. Every single one of them being true. A crack from the mirror seemed to also, somehow, be on the wall behind it creeping below the frame... down almost all the way to the floor. Did he really throw that rock that hard?. Yancy couldnt move now as he watched in horror... Nightmare.. Just a nightmare. He got so many of them! That's all this was. He backed up to the wall singking down it and buried his face in his hands.  "N-None o dis is real.. Bambams fine.. I..I can wake up now.... dis is just..my head... ...m..maybe I am crazy" 
“Hey probably. I get told that all the time and yet it never really is true.... you on the other hand. All those murders? The fights? Eesh... How many times have you had a fight with Y/N now? Shall we check hang on”
Mark stepped forward, digging out a red phone.
"Lets see lets see.. how do we find you again...”
 Yancy was so confused, so stressed, he was shaking.
"Err... kay... guns blazing... chopper... rally... no deal.... aha.. 1,670,655 times! Wow! You're a real monster bucko- Wait what about the kills oooh the dance to the death how many kills now? 623,279 YIKES!”
"Wh-N-No I never.. I never killed dat many! I-I just.. deys was accidents! D-de ones I dids de-deys was-" 
“Oh buddy no no no no nooooo these are all documented on video. aha.. er... not that you'd remember them. You black out right? When the tiger hits. Happens.. time lines.. blahbalh wibbly wobbly. It's fine. Oooh that means we're approaching an ending! How about that! Means you get a choice bucko! Lucky you! So I'll make it simple for you" He held his hand out again 
“Deal or no deal? Green or Red. Left or Right. Take your pick!”
DarkiplierYesterday at 11:11 PM
*The Cracked Mirror launches itself off the wall like someone had fired it out of a cannon and against the back of Mark’s Head. It clattered around, shards splintering out and around his face like a helmet that would slice his cheeks or eyes if he moved too fast. The wall behind him had a large black crack, exactly the same pattern as what was on the glass.
You can say no to him.
Something only Yancy could hear even if he covered his ears. It was more than advice, it was permission. No glass touched Yancy, any that fell almost created a ring around his feet. The other mirrors followed suit, toppling off the wall creating a reflective floor of sorts. Broken glass everywhere, but none seeming to leave the frames. A hand shoots out from one just behind marks back, reaches up and pulls him down to the ground. Hard. The room goes black as soon as he hits the floor. The ringing from all the noise never seeming to fade or faulter. A low echo underneath it... stillness. Quiet. “I think that’s enough.” the man with no shadow said. Standing right under the crack in the wall that seemed.. to give off an unearthly glow.
YancyYesterday at 11:16 PM
Yancy cried out in surprise and fear as the world around him changed and altered again. His poor studio! He was curled up tight when the ringing started but when he saw who it was he quickly scrambled to his feet. Fists curling, not alone any more he could defend himself a bit better... Mark let out a growl as he hit the floor but it was quickly followed by a fondness 
“Daaaamieeeeen! Long time no SEE!”
The world around them pulsed, that red and blue stretching outward.... He'd gotten stronger... He was suddenly behind Dark.
"How long has it been? Two? three? ...... Four videos? ahaha~ Don't mind us, just a little chat between pals”
"M-Mr Ipliere?.... I-" 
“yes? .. huh.. oh youre talking t-.. OH! AhahahahahahAHAHHAHA! Really? Mr Ipliere~ cute”
Mark grinned at Dark viciously, dusting off his suit. 
“Ignore him Yancy sweetie. Your little Bambam doesn't have much time left. it's 11:15″
"Wh not it was just-" Yancy checked his phone still tightly held in hand. 11:15.. where had the time gone?
"You have 45 minutes to make a decision. Are you going to let him die and stay dead or do you want my help?”
DarkiplierYesterday at 11:23 PM
Dark’s image wobbled a bit. But he had gotten stronger too. He walked a little away from him and towards Yancy. “He does bad things to good people.” he said firmly. He looked at Mark. “Filling the mans head with more of your lies all to make his friend one of your little... pet projects. You’re lower than dirt.” he rolled his neck and continued walking towards Yancy. “There doesn’t have to be a war over this… His promise is an empty truth that will ensure Bambam’s demise...But... There is still time…Not much. But mayhaps enough.” He wasn’t in the mood for Mark shinanagins right now. He was a bastard and he nothing short of hated him. But there wasn’t time for petty squabbles
YancyYesterday at 11:28 PM
Mark gave an overly dramatic mock offended look 
O! Hey! I do NOT! Here I am offering this poor distressed man a deal of a life time. I'm here to help his friend from the inevitable fate they're spiraling towards. Look! Barely a beat now! They're hanging onto shredded threads!
 He gestured vaguely to the air as if Bambam was right there, but Dark would see that heart beat too...
"Shake my hand Yancy my boy. It's all you need and Bambam will come back fit as a fiddle
 "I-..." He back up. "I don't believe youse.... b-.... But I- I wanted t' speak wid youse again" Yancy put his attention on Dark "c-..Can youse help with Bambam? B-..before deys ..... before anyt'in bad happens?" he had the most puppy dog pleading look. "Y-..youse helped me before I-... Youse made a deal wid me that.. I collect at any time..w-..what if I do dat fer youse in retoirn?" "
Wait you two have met before?- Ohhhh of course you have, your stupid lil codes ugh..whatever... Doesn't matter. .... How do you put up with the dumb accent? The heck is that from.. New Jersey? Boston?
DarkiplierYesterday at 11:36 PM
Darks neck cracked. As he did, the floor beneath Mark cracked too with a loud boom. “Youre offering a vulnerable, terrified man a deal he does not understand.” he felt the heartbeat of the dying friend and frowned. “Yancy,” he said it correctly, “You are a man behind bars. The information I needed from you has already been used... what more could you have to offer-” he looked at Mark then back at him. “Time is creeping on us. Mark will let Bambam die and raise them. I... can stop them from passing. Long enough...” his nostrils flared. He wasn’t a charity worker. “Its his accent. That’s the long and short of it.” 
YancyYesterday at 11:43 PM
Mark rolled his eyes, childishly doing the mocking face and mouthing a copy of Darks words. 
Yes exactly. I can't stop them from dying but I CAN bring them back. Easy peasy lemon squeeze bish bash bosh hunky dory boom done. No fuss. No mess. No deals. No strings. No bargains. No reason of mistrust what so ever. Why is that such a hard offer to take!? I'm trying to help out a fellow Iplier here! Or is my name tattoos on your hand not a good enough reason to trust me!?
Yancy blinked, then his eyes shot down to his left hand. Still burning ridiculously hot. The areas around the letters felt like theyd blistered but they hadnt. Punching Mark square in the face might help.... "I-...." He frowned. Something about this guy. It felt off.. Bit of a douche.. no.. lot of a douche... The closer Mark got the more his tattooed fingers burnt. Kinda like that harry potter kid. "...Mr Ipliere...y-...youse can help Bambam? I dont..want dem to die at all... not evur... p-please..if..if deres anyt'in youse can do I-... I might be behind bars but I can gets out easy enough!"
"That's ilegal. You could go to prison for that
" "...... I-.. we-...." Poor Yancy. He shook his head "Please.. I-.... I'd do anyt'ing..."
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH no no no no nNOOO you do NOT wanna offer that right off the bat eesh. Make him work for it at least! Besides, you can't trust this guy! He's the villain here! Look at him! all...spooky" Mark wiggled his fingers
" That and have you any idea how much fuss this guy has given me? They burnt down my entire home!
Yancy frowned "Sometimes shit happens.. youse gotta forgive the past" 
I COULD NEVER FORGIVE THEM FOR WHAT THEY DID TO ME!!!!
Marks anger was explosive, the entire room rumbling and the crack in the wall daring to shatter again, it felt familiar... at least for Dark.
DarkiplierYesterday at 11:57 PM
Darkiplier listened, weighing his next move carefully. Markiplier was a terrifying man, but an easy to provoke one. One of those faces you can’t trust. Dark looked like he had done some bad things in his life too but wouldn’t lie if he was asked. “Im -your- villain Mark. You spun that fate for me long ago....” It was his turn to roll his eyes, but somehow it looked more dignified on Dark. “I hardly call an en mass extermination of thousands of undead you had created to serve your bidding is truly a crime. Last I looked, your house still stands.” Marks explosion was enough. “What I did to you.... that’s quite possibly the funniest thing you have ever said. And woefully not my problem.” He looked at Yancy. They held a moment together eye to eye. He had already agreed. And suggesting that he would do anything in return, there’s no better deal than that. The room became pitch black. “Im terribly sorry about your hiding place, Yancy... let’s see what else we can repair this night.” Out of the goodness of a changed heart? For the Iplier name?... spite? His motives were unclear. But Yancy would suddenly feel like he was being pulled backwards gently... slowly away from him. 
ITS TIME TO WAKE UP
-----------------------------------------------------------
Yancy staggered backward with a gasp, spinning on the spot, confused, dazed, looking around for any sig of the two men he was just with... He wasn't in the studio anymore??? What had just..happen-..... Had he been sleep walking? He turned and spotted Sparkles fast asleep on the upper bunk, an arm hanging down. Their pillow wet and clearly passed out from eventual exhaustion. Poor thing.... His heart was racing but slowly he began to relax. Just.... Just a dream? a nightmare? Sparkles was in his cell though so the ...news on Bambam still rang true?..... His own bed was still made and untouched from the morning. So.. no.. He hadn't been asleep.... Then wh-
"Oh... hey! What're you doing awake at this hour?" "Wh- Ah- I was- I-..er.... Bad dream?" Yancy sounded tired enough to make that believable, that and this was often a case so...  "Oh... you ok? you look exhausted buddy" Officer Free wandered closer "Try and get some rest yeah- oh and er- We were gonna save it for the morning but uh- since youre up. .... They took Bambam off the respirators about an hour or so ago? They say they're really improving. Got a good chance and.. might even wake up in the morning. They're hopeful"  "WH- AH!!" Yancy went wide eyed and rushed to the bars, startling poor Gavin who put his hands up to fight -dumb considering there were bars in the way- but Yancys hands going up in surrender had Gavin put his down again 
"so-sorry officer I j- youse..said deys..gonna be ok!?"  "Yeah! should be right as rain mate!" Officer Free grinned, happy to have been the one to deliver the news.  "er but er... maybe tell ole glitter guts the news in the mornin yeah? Poor geezer could use a good nights rest"  "y-..yeah youse is right.. m'gonna..... try n sleep myself" "Lucky" Gavin smirked and they fist bumped though the bars "No sneakin off. I catch you out I'll whap ya- wapow" officer free swung his baton around but it was in jest and Yancy knew this. Gavin was a good officer...  They parted ways and Yancy sat down slowly and quietly on his bunk .... 
Bambam....... 
They were gonna be ok............ 
 But now that meant he had a debt of anything to pay to the Man With No Shadow....
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A White Christmas - Part Four (Ben Hardy!Roger x Reader)
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It had two hours since Brian's phone call, and you and Roger had been reliving last night. Only this time, it meant something to both of you. For one thing, you knew each other's names this time. In the aftermath, the two of you lay together, using both the bed sheets and each other to stay warm. As his arms wrapped more tightly around you, you decided that this was one of your best Christmases. You were so thankful for the heavy snowfall, so thankful that you went out last night. And though you weren't aware of it, Roger was thinking the exact same thing. "Do you think we'll see each other again?" You asked him, you head resting against his chest.
"What d'you mean?" A sigh escaped your lips.
"After we get out of here," you explained. "Once neither of us are stuck here, do you think that will be it?" You noticed that his chest seemed to rise and fall quicker than it had a moment ago. The truth was, your words worried Roger. He began to doubt you were feeling the same feelings that he was. He wanted to see you again, he needed to.
"Do you?" He asked. You rolled over onto you stomach and propped yourself up on your elbows. His eyes met yours and you saw that he almost looked desperate.
"Well I need someone to kiss on New Years, don't I?" You said, a smile playing at your lips. Relief flooded his face.
"Yeah, you do," he said, almost breathless. "Freddie's having a party on New Year's Eve. Will you go with me?" It didn't take any thought. The answer was very simply,
"Yes." A smile broke out on both of your faces and you laughed lightly at how happy he seemed.
"I really like you," he told you. You wanted to laugh. He sounded like a child, finally telling the girl he fancies that he has a crush on her. But the earnest and utterly sincere way he said it made you realise how serious he was. You had heard the stories, the Roger Taylor that lay beside you was not one that had ever been seen by the press. You could tell from his wide eyes that this was not a common occurrence. It must've taken him a lot to say that.
"I like you too," you assured him. You closed the small gap between your faces and brought your lips to his once more. His eyes shut as he brought his hand up to cup your cheek. You found yourself crawling closer to him until you were practically lying on his chest.
And that's when the two of you heard the knock on the door.
You both froze, mid kiss. Slowly, your eyes both opened and you pulled back from each other slightly. "Who the hell..."
Another set of knocks. There was definitely two people outside Roger's front door. But who? And how did they even get here? Roger quickly pulled his boxers on and tossed you navy dressing gown from his wardrobe. "Who d'you think it is?" You asked him as the two of you approached the front door. He shrugged, a completely clueless look on his face.
"No idea," he said. "Nobody in their right mind would go out in this weather." The front door was in view now. Whoever was outside knocked loudly on the door again, making the two of you jump a little. "What are those idiots doing?" He muttered to himself.
"Roger! Are you in?!" Came a loud voice from the other side of the door. "You've not frozen to death, have you?"
"Oh my god, those are my idiots," he said, his mouth falling open. He glanced at you. "That's Brian."
"Roger, open the door!" another voice sounded from outside. Roger rubbed his eyes, sighed, and stepped closer to the door.
"That's Deaky," he quickly let you know. “I told yous over the phone," he shouted to them. "Can't you see the snow piled up against the door?"
"Darlin', that's what we've been doing the past half hour," came a third voice. "We've been trying to get you out while you've been having a good shag." Roger shook his head at the voice and tried not to smile.
"And that's Fred," he said, gritting his teeth at his friend. He turned back towards the voices and grabbed the keys from the table beside the door. He quickly unlocked the door and leaned against it as he tried to open it. "I still can't get it open," he said to the boys.
"Alright, yous two push and we'll pull from this side," Brian called back to you and Roger. Glancing at each other, you and Roger smiled as you both leaned against the door.
"Ok!" Shouted Roger. "One... two... three!" You and Roger immediately felt the door shake as the men on the outside all pulled at the handle. The two of you both leaned against the door but, unknown to each other, neither of you were really pushing. The truth was, you didn't want to leave. You were glad for the snow. However, moments later, the door swung open and, along with the faces of Roger's friends, you were both met by an absolutely freezing gust of wind. Roger, who was still only in his boxers, winced at the cold air and was glad when his friends marched inside and have him a big Christmas group hug. Once they all pulled away from each other and you closed the door behind them, they all turned to look at you.
"Guys, this is Y/N," Roger told them. They all smiled.
"I'm Brian," the tall one with big, curly hair told you. He shook your hand and you told him that it was nice to meet him. Next, a slightly shorter man with a wide grin greeted you.
"John Deacon," he told you simply, also shaking your hand. Finally, you turned to the man you recognised as the famous Freddie Mercury.
"I'm Freddie," he told you. You went to shake his hand as well but he just shook his head. "Oh darlin, enough of that. It's Christmas!" And so, instead of shaking your hand, he wrapped you in a big hug which helped to warm you up a bit.
"Well it's nice to meet all of you," you told them, giggling slightly and still recovering from Freddie's father sudden embrace.
"You too," said Brian. He looked behind him, back at Roger who was smiling and staring at you. As Freddie began asking you about how you had coped this motioning, you heard a snippet of their conversation. "Chrissie and Veronica are waiting back at the house with the Jimmy, Michael, and Robert so we've got to get back as soon as possible." Roger looked over at you as you told Freddie a little bit about your morning. He couldn't help pay attention to the way your hands move animatedly as you spoke. He really didn't want to leave you. Of course, he appreciated the boys coming round to rescue him but he couldn't help but want to be back in his bed with you resting your head on his chest.
"Rog?" Asked Brian, snapping his fingers in front of his friend's face. Roger snapped out of his trance but Brian seemed to realise what was going on in his head. "D'you like her?" An involuntary grin creeped up onto Roger's face.
"Yeah," He said, smiling sheepishly. He took a step back from the others, dragging Brian along with him. "I don't know what's happening. This morning she was just some girl I had picked up last night but now..."
"Jesus Rog, look at you," Brian said, trying not to laugh. "You've got it bad. You're practically drooling." Roger went to say something in his defence but nothing came to his mind. It was, after all, completely true.
Brian grinned. "Look, if you want to, you can stay here." Roger shook his head.
"I don't think she would want to now that she can get out," he said. "She'll probably want to see her folks or get into her own bed and get warm." Brian thought for a moment, examining Roger's distracted face as his eyes found you again. You had just laughed at something Freddie had said. To him, the noise was more pleasing than any song he had written. Brian seemed to realise then how serious his friend was being.
"We can invite her back to Deaky's," he suggested. Roger didn't say anything for a moment. He tried to think about it but all he could envision was you declining the offer. However, he never got the chance to ask.
You had just made Freddie and John laugh. Delighted, Freddie turned to Brian and Roger. "Roger, you have exceptionally good taste," he told him. "Though I must say, you must've only recently risen your standards. Oh Y/N, you should've seen some of the girls he used to take home." Roger's cheeks flushed red. "I think we should invite Y/N back to Deaky's. What do you all say?"
"Yes." The answer came from Roger a little quicker than he had intended it to. He didn't want to come off as desperate but at the same time, he needed you to know how much he wanted you there. "Well we all know Roger's very keen," said Freddie with a teasing smile. "Brian, John, what do you think?"
"We'd be happy to have you," John told you as Brian nodded along.
"Then it's settled," said Freddie, clapping his hands together. "Though, the two of you might want to get dressed, it's absolutely freezing out and there's quite a walk to the car." After a moment of discussion, it was decided that while you and Roger got ready, the boys would trudge through the snow, get the car, and see if they could get it any closer to the house. Once they left and the door swung shut behind them, the house got instantly quieter. "Freddie's really something," you told Roger as the two of you stood in the absence of the band.
"Yeah, he is," Roger said, chuckling lightly. He held out his hand, which you took without having to think about it. He lead you back to his bedroom and shut the door behind you. You took a step towards his wardrobe but he pulled you back in his direction. Glancing up at him, you raised your eyebrow at him.
"What?" You asked him, stepping closer to him.
"I just wanted to do this first.” He grinned, cupped either side of your face, and kissed you. Although you had kissed countless times that day, every time still felt like the first time. It was exciting, new, and you absolutely loved it. When his head finally leant back, you felt breathless. “Umm,” You hummed, feeling almost dizzy.
“Yeah,” said Roger, agreeing simply to the look of complete infatuation upon your face.
“We should get dressed,” you told him.
“I suppose.” As he looked in his wardrobe for something to wear, you pulled your jeans from the night before back on. You glanced around the room, your eyes searching for the jumper you had previously worn.
“Have you seen my top?” You asked him, your bare arms gaining goosebumps in the cold. Roger turned from the wardrobe and smirked. “If I said no would you come like that?” He Asked cheekily. It was always his aim to see you smile and he had succeeded. It made his chest feel light to hear your light laugh. “But seriously, no I haven’t.”
“Well you would say that,” you said, still smiling at his comment.
“You can wear one of my shirts?” He offered, stepping out of the way of the wardrobe. You approached it and searched for something suitable. Your eyes immediately found the section dedicated to clothes that girls had left behind at his house. The sheer amount of tops made you feel a little uncomfortable but you had to remind yourself that, had the two of you not been snowed in, you would be little more than one of those girls. You were grateful that the girls Roger slept with had such good taste in clothes though. You found a shirt that was suitable and Roger offered you his fur coat again.
Once the two of you were dressed, you headed to the front door and prepared to go out into the snow. He took your hand again and faced you. “Is it weird that I don’t actually want to leave?” You closed your eyes, so relieved that he was feeling the same as you.
“Not at all,” you told him. “Thanks for such a great Christmas.”
“You made it great,” he said simply, though with conviction. He closed the gap between you and kissed you once again. He made sure to make it count since he wasn’t sure when the next time he would be able to do it would be. He was so glad for the promise of New Years. “You ready?” He asked you, staring so deeply into your eyes that you weren’t entirely sure he could see anything else.
“As I’ll ever be,” you said. And with that, he opened the front door and the two of you walked outside, finally leaving the warmth of the house and entering a very white Christmas.
The End.
92 notes · View notes
wovenstarlight · 6 years
Text
god i love bnha but youve all already seen the posts which are like “bnha had so much potential it couldbe been a story of how you dont need to fit in and have quirks like everybody else, you can still be a hero, but the mc just got a superpowered quirk and now its just your regular old shounen” so i wont go on about that
but anyway like. the idea of quirkless hero deku. if he had become a hero as is..... -it couldnt have happened with him still living where he did, growing up where he did with the surroundings he had. we already know how that played out in canon. if he’s to become a hero while being quirkless, he needs some kind of change in environment, yeah?
and like. i cannot pass up the chance to have him be friends with hatsume mei. imagine izuku growing up friends with her, he’d be enabled to live to full chaotic neutral potential with his eerily precise quirk analysis and her ridiculous machines and devices
im thinking that when izuku was about to go into middle school, maybe inko got some kind of job (promotion if shes already working) that had her be transferred to another area, which just so happens to be near where hatsume lives. izuku is so, so hopeful that these new folks will be kind, but then they learn he’s quirkless and three of them corner him outside after school and his hopes shatter like fragile glass as one of them uses their quirk to paralyze him and they all laugh-
and then this, this pink haired girl with weird glasses ducks under one of their arms and reaches into her pocket and pulls out, holy fuck is that a stun gun? and she zaps the bullies and grins very wide and they run yelling and izuku’s like “you saved my goddamn life” and pink-hair says “i saw your notebook! seems like youre pretty insightful, i wanna work with you” and thats how mei and izuku meet and become ride-or-die friends
they’re over at each others houses pretty much all three years of middle school. hatsume couldn’t care less that he’s quirkless- as long as he can hand her her tools when she needs them and tell her when she’s doing something wrong, she’s fine with him. and it’s so very refreshing for izuku to have this reinforcing presence who actually looks past his quirklessness. he picks up tinkering and whatnot, working on the software portion while hatsume irons out the physical kinks in her support devices, and she gives izuku all sorts of cameras he uses to record fights and analyze quirks afterwards. they talk quirks and robots together and mei comes up with so many new devices, half of them brought to life by izuku’s hyperactive imagination
when it comes time for entering high school, they both already know they want to go to yuuei. and izuku’s no idiot, he knows that hes disadvantaged by being quirkless. he’s been building up strength by helping mei in her workshop and learning to fight in martial arts courses, with the wholehearted support of inko and the hatsume family. even so he’s likely not got the simple advantage of Having A Quirk that everyone else does.
“if you don’t have a quirk,” mei wonders idly as she tightens another screw. “i mean, if you don’t have the biological power, then why not use an artificial one?” she puts down her screwdriver and pats the grip-strengthening glove she’s finished. “just use some of my babies.”
“oh,” says izuku, and he applies for yuuei and submits half a dozen equipment applications for the exam alongside.
lord but what about the exam... if he bumps into uraraka again he wouldn’t be so nervous, he might drop a gadget he’s carrying and ask her brightly about her quirk and they talk quirks and gadgets and heroes excitedly all the way into the building, izuku carefully steering the conversation away from his own quirk. he doesn’t get scolded by iida because he’s trained himself to scribble down his thoughts rather than mumble them (because he can hear mei’s eccentric additions better than way). besides, he’s too busy checking on his proto-jetpack and his electric pulse bombs(?) and his extendable staff and making sure they’re undamaged and usable
he’s a quick runner from all his training, so when he walks into the exam field he’s quick to seek out robots and throw his pulse bombs at them (press once for an electric stunner that’ll throw off a human for a few seconds, press twice for a larger pulse that’ll disable any machinery). he racks up points quickly, and then the zero-pointer comes out. izuku goes “ah, fuck!” when he sees uraraka lying prone and bolts to grab her, yelling for the students running away to help him get her to safety. this tall purple-haired student comes running back, visibly nervous at how close the bot is getting.
“uraraka-san, i know you’re exhausted, but use your quirk on me,” izuku says urgently. uraraka clumsily slaps him and he grins, instructing the purple haired kid (”ah, my name’s shinsou,”) to piggyback her as far away as he can get. then he jumps up using his jetpack to fly up to the ‘head’ of the zero-pointer, and tries a pulse bomb on its surface. all it does is make a panel pop off, but that’s enough for izuku- he grabs a handful of the exposed wires and rips them the hell out. the zero-pointer slows to a stop, and then- the wires start sparking oddly, and izuku remembers that all the damaged robots flared with electricity soon after being broken. he shoves himself off the bot just in time, because the wires in front of him explode, and izuku’s blown back by the force of the explosion. it’s okay, he thinks, he can just jetpack himself to safety- and then he starts falling
down on the ground, shinsou looks worriedly at uraraka on the verge of passing out. they’ve had to keep stopping because she’s feeling so sick. he knows she won’t be able to release her quirk if she’s unconscious, so it’ll probably continue to take a toll on her. when he looks around, he sees iida nearby, teeth gritted as he desperately wars with himself about running away. “uraraka-san?” shinsou asks. “yes,” uraraka says, and then her eyes go glassy. “release your quirk,” shinsou orders, turning to the sky and spotting izuku almost immediately. shinsou turns back and yells to iida, making his voice sound desperate: “please! my friend here’s about to pass out! can you get us to safety?” iida looks over, startled: “oh, of cou-!” “i need you to catch that guy,” shinsou tells him, pointing at the falling izuku. “jump and knock him out of his trajectory, it should stop him from landing too hard.”
and that’s what happens: izuku is falling, uraraka on the ground panics, but then brainwashed iida zooms past them and jumps and grabs izuku. they both hit the ground hard, izuku grunting as his hatsume-reinforced shoes bite into his heels. iida gets knocked out of the brainwashing as soon as he slams into izuku, and is on the verge of turning and yelling at shinsou for manipulating him like that, but shinsou runs over and starts worrying quietly over izuku and uraraka and iida gets distracted. they all ask after izuku’s quirk, and he hesitates- “ah, thats...” when recovery girl shows up, ready to heal izuku’s twisted ankle.
later, izuku walks into class 1-a, and four different students bolt to their feet. “you-!“ yell uraraka, shinsou, iida, and bakugou katsuki. izuku freezes as uraraka continues, “you’re that guy with the electricity quirk! the one who took out the zero-pointer- you saved me, you-”
“deku,” bakugou whispers, panic leaking into his voice. “you’re- deku? you’re... you’re quirkless, what are you doing here?”
cue panic. after the initial shock and mild awkwardness about his quirklessness, uraraka, iida, and shinsou all band tightly together with izuku, quickly becoming his closest friends after mei. eventually todoroki joins their little group, and everyone learns not to underestimate the quirkless kid. all might does offer one for all to izuku at some point, but he hesitates and turns him down. “it’ll mean too much to the quirkless kids, you see,” he explains. “to have a quirkless hero. i can’t take that away from them. and besides, being quirkless- it’s part of me. i don’t want to throw that away.” and all might nods, understanding, and offers his limited guidance instead. even if he can’t give this kid power, he can lend him a hand while he fights through the world.
im hungry and havent eaten yet so i havent given thought to the rest of this story yet, but at some point in the future quirkless hero deku kneels in front of an indescribably happy and crying quirkless kid, and he hugs them and tells them they can be anything they goddamn want and damn it, deku’s gonna help them get there.
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a-writers-writing · 6 years
Text
You Won’t Earn Anything Standin’ There and Lookin’ Pretty | Chapter 3
Hey! It’s almost 12:30 am so I thought I would drop this chapter a little... early... Enjoy chapter 3!! Shit goes down and that’s all I’m saying! Chapter 1 Chapter 2
Warnings: cursing
Tag list: @helplesshansen @we-dont-sell-papes @mike-faist-is-the-best@ben-cook-can-cook @daveys–jacobs @newsieofnj @gaymur@racetrackscigar @stuckinmyneverendingheadspace @volarfinch @polamalooooo @wolfkiddal (let me know if you want to be removed/be added to this!)
Papers didn’t sell as quickly as they were the day before, but everything was sold an hour or two before sundown. The duo was exhausted and slowly made their way back to the place they had grown to calling a home. Pigeon carried his hat in his hand and was lazily attempting to fix his hair as they walked, although the attempt was wasted and it laid flat.
As they drew closer, Blue caught sight of Davey and Les walking, she assumed to go home. She pointed them out to Pigeon and caught the attention of Les as she did. Les pulled on his brother’s hand, causing him to look where he was pointing. Davey’s face lit up slightly and the two turned and started walking towards Blue and Pigeon. He smiled and gave a small wave, which Blue returned almost immediately. Pigeon, on the other hand, was still troubling himself with his hair.
“Evenin’ gents.” Pigeon greeted once the two were close enough.  
Davey nodded and looked between the two. “You both look exhausted. Long day?”
Blue nodded. “We decided to stay up later than usual last night. We gots ta get the gossip time in somewhere, ya know?” She joked, elbowing Pigeon lightly. “So what’s up with you, Davey? Shouldn’t youse be gettin’ home so your folks don’t start worryin’?”
“Actually I uh, I wanted to talk with Pigeon for a few seconds. If you don’t mind, of course,” Davey said, a slight tone of nervousness in his voice.
Pigeon looking him over, then glanced at Blue. “There ain’t nothing you can said to me that you can’t say in front of her. Go ahead.”
Davey looked between them again, then shook his head. “Jack wasn’t kidding when he said you two were inseparable, was he?” They both shrugged with a smile. “Alright. Pigeon, I’m really sorry about yesterday. I didn’t know it was a sensitive subject and I should’ve known better. I’m just really sorry.”
Pigeon stood there in silence for a moment, looking over Davey, then nodded. “You didn’t know. It’s fine. I’m not gonna hold it to you. Just think next time you ask, aight?”
Davey almost looked shocked, as if he wasn’t expecting to be forgiven so quickly. “Y-yeah of course. I should’ve known better in the first place.”
Pigeon nodded and looked up at the sky. “‘S gettin’ dark. We should get goin’ Blue. Get home safe Davey.” He patted Davey on the shoulder with a smile. “See ya tomorrow.” They went their separate ways after saying their goodbyes.
When Blue and Pigeon got to the lodging house, there was much more yelling then they expected. Pigeon flinched away from the noise and Blue put a hand on his arm. Their entrance wasn’t acknowledged until Crutchie made his way over to the pair, a wide smile drawn on his face.
“Crutchie, what the hell's goin’ on here? What’s everyone yellin’ about?” Blue asked.
“Someone took the jokes a little to far. All I’m gonna say is that Race ain’t too happy and youse two might wanna avoid everyone until things calm down.” He moved past both of them, still smiling.
Pigeon looked at Blue with a mischievous look and Blue shook her head. “No. No we are going to listen to what Crutchie said and we are going straight to our room. Come on.”
But before she could stop him, Pigeon was rushing toward the sound of the noise. Blue called after him and started to chase him. The scene that they found was… interesting.
Racetrack was frantically searching the room they were in as the others heckled him. He was clearly irritated about something. As soon as Pigeon stepped into the room, Elmer was on one of side with an arm around his shoulder and Albert was on the other side, an arm around his waist. He was shocked by the sudden affection and looked around, confused. Race looked at the two boys, furious, but continued to look around the room.
“How was sellin’ today, Pigeon?” Elmer asked. Pigeon knew something was going on and he took a few seconds to decide if he wanted to play along.
“It was okay. Kind of a slow day at our spot,” he said. He was definitely going to play along.
Albert led him to one of the chairs in the room. “You must be so tired then. Why don’t you relax.”
Romeo stood from his seat and motioned for Pigeon to sit. “Take my seat, I can stand.”
Blue watched everything from the doorway, clearly amused. Race was still running around the room frantically, checking every space in the room and growling when he didn’t find what he was looking for. Pigeon now had four other newsies surrounding him, flirting beyond belief.
Fifteen more minutes of the same routine passed before Race stood in the middle of the room, practically fuming. “Where the hell are they?! Just tell me and would you please stop flirting with Pigeon?!” He nearly yelled.
Pigeon smiled and a blush spread across his face. Finch had already told him where Race’s cigars were hidden and that they had been on this for about an hour. Pigeon stood and walked over to him, a sly smile on his face. “Have you checked under the chair I was just sitting in, Racetrack?”
He glared at him for a moment, untrusting, before walking to the chair and looking under it. Lo and behold, there were cigars taped to the underside of the chair. He pulled them off carefully then returned to where he was in front of Pigeon. The room was silent for three seconds before erupting in cheers and hollars. Race had pressed his lips firmly against Pigeon’s. Pigeons was shocked at first, not prepared for the sudden kiss, but he kissed back once he got his wits together. Everyone in the room cheered and clapped, Blue being the loudest. Once the two broke apart, Blue practically tackled Pigeon in a hug while the guys all got up and patted Race on the back.
Even when Pigeon returned to his room with Blue, he couldn’t forget the feeling of Race’s lips against his. He was still in a sort of shock.
Blue was much more excited about it than anyone else. She kept repeating “I’m so proud of you!” and “It finally happened!” She didn’t get much of a reaction, but she knew he was as excited as she was. It wasn’t long before sleep over took both of them, though.
The next morning felt different. The room was warm and the sun gently beamed in through the window. Pigeon was rudely awoken by a pillow being thrown on top of him by Blue, who then said, “get the hell up, we got papes to sell.”
He groaned and rolled out of bed, throwing himself to the floor. “I don’t wanna get up,” he whined.
Blue picked up the pillow she had thrown at him and threw it at him again, harder this time. “C’mon Pigeon, get up and stop being dramatic. You gotta get ready for the day.”
While whining like a small child, Pigeon dragged himself off the floor and stood, stretching as he did. He slowly made his way to the bathroom, where almost everyone was gone except for a few people lingering about. One of those people was Race. He caught sight of Pigeon and smiled at him, cigar hanging out of the corner of his mouth. Pigeon smiled back and turned to brush his teeth, ignoring the blush that was obviously spreading across his cheeks.
When he was done brushing his teeth and moved to fixing his hair, Race came up next to him. Pigeon looked at him in the mirror, but quickly went back to fixing his hair. Race watched him in adoration, astonished by the way he worked through his hair to get it just perfect. Pigeon kept looking over at Race, a smirk on his face. “If ya take a picture it’ll last longer, Racetrack.”
Race was pulled from his daydream and looked at Pigeon. “What?”
Pigeon laughed and put his hat on. “Yeah, I didn’t think you heard that. What’s got your head all up in the clouds today, Race?”
“Maybe it’s your handsome face that keep distracin’ me,” Race teased with a wink.
Pigeon rolled his eyes and turned to him. “So? Are we gonna talk about last night or just move pretendin’ like it didn’t happen?”
Race shrugged. “Can the talkin’ wait until later? We gotta get goin’ soon, ya know?”
“Fine, but you better not avoid me. I know how you get. Promise me we’ll actually talk about.” Pigeon spat onto his hand and held it out, looking Race in the eye. Race nodded and did the same, shaking his hand. Pigeon gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the room and rejoining with Blue downstairs.
The two walked together, just as they did every day. Blue looked deep in thought and, as badly as he wanted to tear her out of it, Pigeon kept quiet. Even when they got to the gates, she was quiet. Pigeon was starting to get worried until Davey and Les strolled up beside them, the two in their own conversation. Blue watched Davey for a few seconds, watched how animated he was when he talked, until she was pulled out of her world by Pigeon shaking her.
“Blue did you even hear a word I said? God, you really got it bad for him… It’s much worse than I thought,” he teased. “Anyways, I was tellin’ you that the headline for today stinks so maybe we shouldn’t get as many papes as we usually do.”
“You sure it’s the headline that stinks? I thought it was just the Delancey Brothers,” Elmer joked as the brothers walked up, unlocking the gate.
“Morris, is that a new tie? What innocent kid did you beat up and steal it from?” Pigeon said with a smile, leaning against the gate.
Morris hit the gate hard, causing Pigeon to jump back and Blue to jump in front of him. “You best watch your mouth, kid. You’re not as smart as you think you are.” He opened the gate and stepped aside.
Race stepped closer to Morris, taking his cigar out of his mouth as he did. “Maybe you shouldn’t be insultin’ someone on their intelligence when you can barely count to twenty, Morris.”
“And who are you to tell me who I should and shouldn’t pick on?” Morris asked, moving to challenge Race. He cracked his knuckles and gave a nod to Oscar, who started doing the same.
Davey pushed his way to the front with Jack at his side and panic on his face. “We aren’t looking for a fight, Morris. Just let us get our papes so we can move on with our day.”
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clown-bait · 6 years
Text
29 Neibolt ST (Monster Roommate AU) CH29
PARTY TIME. The former monsters crash a party but it turns out that everyone’s human forms are a bunch of embarrassed nerds. Chucky suggests a hostile takeover and Pinhead yells at them for showing up uninvited. (Turns out a lot of people don’t like Freddy and his friends in this town) Meanwhile Robert Gray accidentally gets LIT and Leech shows off her bartending skills. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG! 
I’m going to start including a song to go with some of these chapters so feel free to check back to previous ones and possibly stay tuned for a playlist! 
The song for this one is Dead Man’s Party by Oingo Boingo
CH29
Its a Dead Mans Party
When they arrived to the night club the gang expected a party. What they got was a bunch of ashamed former monsters shuffling awkwardly around. Once intimidating living nightmares were now average everyday outcasts too scared to leave the wall incase someone might recognize who they really were.
“This is the most depressing scene I’ve ever witnessed.” Freddy frowned looking out at the club.
“How are we going to find a Halloween god when the very creatures who make the holiday  scary are sulking in the corner because they suddenly have weird teeth and zits again?” Leech groaned.
Chucky took a step forward and cracked his knuckles.“Ahem while I dont want to participate in your shenanigans, I refuse to attend something so dead. So Fangs, Krueger I think we need to do a little CPR.”
“Are you suggesting a hostile take over?���
“That is exactly what I’m suggesting.”
“Wait wont you get caught? They weren’t invited!” Tiffany hissed at her husband
“They’ll be begging us to stay when we’re finished here sweet cheeks.”
“This isnt the first CPR we’ve preformed. Nothing to worry about we got a party master among us.” Leech grinned and gestured to Freddy “Krueger! Work your magic.”
“With pleasure Fangs.”
“And none of this Monster Mash bullshit guys! Give us something we can work with!”
Freddy smirked pulling out a pair of sunglasses and opened his arms as he walked down the stairs like some sort of messiah of debachery. Chucky grabbed his wife by the arm and followed after him while Leech tapped her mate on the cheek and made her way to the bar. The players took the field with confidence, Chucky and Leech kicking out the sulking DJ and bartender taking their place and signaling to the former dream demon they were ready.
Freddy caught the microphone tossed to him from the DJ booth and tapped it “You assholes call this a party? Seems like not inviting old Freddy was the wrong idea. Let’s change that shall we? Chuck, gimme some music.”
An upbeat song blasted through the speakers. Leech spun a tumbler on her palm and tossed a bottle of vodka into the air, quickly pouring out drinks faster than she probably ever had before. Freddy began placing bevrages in peoples hands and pulling groups onto the dance floor. Life started to be forced back into the event. People were enjoying themselves more and more even Leatherface started dragging folks in with Freddy.
Leech glanced over to the handsome man in the Spiderman outfit perched on the fruthest bar stool scanning the scene intently infront of him. The song Dead Man’s Party began to play and people moved towards the dance floor away from the bar giving her a moment to slide a drink over to him.
“You looked like you could use a pick-me up.” she glanced over and smiled at him when he raised his head up at her watching her stuff a tip into her coat. Robert picked up the drink without saying anything. Leech frowned and walked up to him “This is a party remember? You’re allowed to enjoy yourself.” she said leaning over the bar. He rolled up the mask on his face and sipped the rum and coke still not saying a word.
“Pen.” she frowned using his clown name to get his attention. “What’s wrong huh? I know we’re looking for the kid but take your own advice and enjoy the hunt a little.”
“That’s not my name.” he grumbled. Leech narrowed her eyes when she realized he was embarrassed. He was such an overly proud creature and being seen by others as anything but superior was severly affecting his ego. The former vampire grabbed his chin and turned it to face her ignoring a couple incoming drink requests.
“Look, I know you have been humiliated today, and I know you hate being a human but this is only temporary you’ll be back to your old self soon. You’re always going to be a perfect evil godlike entity no matter what skin you wear….especially to me.”  
Robert still didnt respond but he pulled off the mask completely and looked off to the side.
“All right fine if you’re not going to start having fun I’m going to make you have fun.” his mate growled leaving the bar briefly to pull him back behind it with her.
“What are you doing Leech let go of me” he snarled reluctnantly following her.
“You may be human but my goofball killer clown is still in there and I’m going to bring him out even if it involves kicking and screaming.”
“And how are you planning on doing that?” he grumbled.
Leech gave him a warm smile and picked up four shot glasses beginning to juggle them. The former clown arched an eyebrow in mock interest. His mate smirked and tossed a glass at him which he reflextibly caught and threw back to her glaring a bit. When she caught it she tossed another to him. his scowl softened slightly when he tossed it back at her. Leech tossed another to him followed by another until they were full on juggling. She beamed at him when his expression could no longer hold back the his grin. They continued their routine till there was a small crowd gathered around them to watch. Some were actually suprised to see the clown doing actual clown things as if there was a rumor going around that he couldn’t.
“You know I love this song.” she said collecting all four of the glasses and setting them on the bar in a line. “Pass me the clear bottle and the red one” she said picking up a tumbler. Robert tossed them over to her she caught one in her cup and bounced the other a few times on her elbow the crowd cheering a bit. She set the one bottle down and poured the red one in her tumbler and tossed it away to her partner. “Here make yourself useful, the two top right ones next.” they put on quite the little show together both of them genuinely having fun with one another. Tiffany elbowed her husband and pointed at their housemates. “Did you know he actually could juggle?”
“Unfortuneately, yes.” chucky groaned. Tiff gave him a questioning look “Let’s just say that their practicing is the reason I dont eat dinner at the table anymore.”
“That explains the wobbling” Tiff replied while cringing.
When she was done Leech passed out several shots to the crowd and handed one to Robert taking the last one in her own hand. “All right drink this with me. Hold out your arm.” the confused ex-eldritch abomination did as she instructed and his mate linked her arm around his. “We take it together at the same time.”
“Am I going to like this?”
“Don’t worry its sweet.” she teased him a bit knowing her lover tended to only eat things that were 80% sugar. She counted to three and they tipped their shots back. Robert made a face and shook his head a bit. Leech laughed and lightly tapped his cheek “You alright there big guy?”
“It burns and I feel warm.”
“Well yeah you already had one drink and I just fed you a giant shot.”
“You’re a bad influence.” he narrowed his eyes at her. The former vampire poured dark honey colored liquid into her shot glass and knocked it back. “There now I’m catching up to you.”
“We have a task to accomplish Leechie.” he grumbled Leech rolled her eyes in response making another few drinks and shoving one in his hands. “Enjoy the damn party Robert.” The shut his eyes and took a sip cursing humans and their self destructive habbits.
“CLOWN!” a mousy looking man in leather shouted.
“Is that Pinhead?” Leech asked throwing a wash rag over her shoulder “Holy fuck it is! You assholes messed up my tits!” she snarled at him.
“I dont mind them.” Robert said cooly while sipping his drink.
“Bob no.”
“I seem to recall you fully agreeing to that modification vampire.”
“I….lets not go into.…that….”
“Yes there is a different matter at hand. I came here to remove you from my establishment friends of Krueger are not allowed due to the.. liabilities…”
The former cenobite glared at the couple, Leech looked as if she was readying herself for a fight. Robert finished his drink and stepped forward pushing his mate lightly to the side.
“You seem to forget that I own this town, you are simply beng allowed to stay and I’m a bit offended I was not invited.”
“All we wish is to keep the dream demon and his associates out….especially with what happened at the last event he attended….”
“His associates being my mate? Is is wise hell priest to ban her simply for being friends with Krueger? If I must tolerate his presence then so will you.” Robert was starting to feel in control again when the hell preist backed down. He wasnt sure if it was the liquid courage he consumed or his beloved’s efforts to cheer him up but his ego was finally feeling restored. It was time to remind everyone of their place in his town and who stood on top. “I seem to recall you allowed harm to come to her when she spent time with you did you not?” he growled and loomed over the man letting his height aid in his intimidation “I think you owe me for your screw up.”
Leech tapped his arm. “Psst ask for free drinks I’m running out of tip money to pay for ours.” she said with a small whisper.
“….And free drinks” Robert rolled his eyes and placed a large hand on her hat.
“I would rather have no qualms with you. Get rid of Krueger and she may stay.”
“That wouldn't be advisable.” Leech said leaning on the bar pouring herself another drink now that it was free.
“And why is that?”
“One, Krueger Chucky and I brought this party back from the dead you needed us. Two, if you ever want to go back to being a hell priest and making that outfit actually work for you I suggest you let us continue working here.” Leech sipped a glass of whiskey and grinned smugly at the former Cenobite.
“You know how to solve this problem?”
“That’s why were here. The other clown and dracula are bringing what we need as we speak.” Robert relaxed his tense muscles into a more causal stance when he sensed the Cenobite leader backing off.
Pinhead glanced at the crowd of awkward looking humans shuffling around attempting to dance and sighed. “We are counting on you to succeed then….and clown, the invitation to the afterparty still stands…to the both of you…” he turned and walked away.
Both former monsters cringed. “And with that horrible thought I’m going to need another drink” Leech turned around and grabbed a bottle of rum.
————-
They had been there a couple hours and Robert Gray was starting to feel the room spin. He had only had a few drinks that his mate insisted on yet he was starting to feel the effects. This human beverage must be the reason they’re all so inferior. Just a few glasses of it and it was like his head was swelling with the music and his limbs felt heavy. He twisted his head over to Leech who somehow was was still standing despite having drank twice as much as he did. She was shouting something to a small crowd about piercing Freddy’s other nipple which frankly he had no desire to ever see again. Instead he sat with his head back against a couch hoping to just let this feeling pass quickly when suddenly the doll and his wife plopped down next to him. The former clown rolled his head over to acknowlege thier presence.
“Jingles! Jingles are you drunk?!”
“Leechie did it.” He managed to slur out.
“Oh man big biiiiggg mistake Jingle Bells. You never try to keep up with Fangs and Freddy”
“I remember the one time I smoked weed with her, and lemme tell ya I was high for two days!” Tiffany added “Ya gotta know your limits with that one, she’ll kill ya.”
“Did-did you just call me Jingle Bells?” Robert squinted and shook his head a bit to clear it “Nevermind the Sam-Whatever god have you seen him?” he was finding it hard to form words and began to curse the foul drink affecting his brain.
“Hey now, we said we were only stayin out of your way we aint helpin!” Tiff snapped.
“You tell em babe! Aint no way I’m going to help with making these beauties disappear.” Chucky gestured at his wifes boobs.
“Chucky stop!” she shoved him. Robert shifted more towards the edge of the couch. He decided to get up when the doll and his wife started getting “handsy” not wanting to be around for that any longer than he had to. The former clown downed the rest of the drink his mate had insisted he try and swayed his way through the crowd. People brushed up against him on the dance floor, a few he was pretty sure did on purpose. One girl in a particularly skimpy outfit walked up to talk to him and he just stood there blank faced eye drifting to the side as babble came out of her mouth. She made a few attempts to pull him in to dance with her but the former clown would not budge. She was pretty but she wasn't his Leechie. He should find her. Robert pushed her face away from him causing her to squawk after him in anger. He continued through the crowd till he got to the front of the group that had gathered around Leech and Freddy. She had a blow torch in her hand that she was using to super heat a needle raised high in the air for all to see.
“FANGS WAIT I CHANGE MY MIND PUT THE FIRE AWAY” freddy shouted his costume zipped open and a bottle of vodka in one of his hands.
“Gotta make sure its hot Fred!” she shouted over the torch. Jason and Leatherface cheered her on as she lit the fire again.
“FANGS! I’M SERIOUS YOU DIDNT TELL ME THERE’D BE A TORCH INVOLVED!!”
“The people came to see something get pierced Krueger, and I’m out of nipples!” she said and took off her top hat “Hold still this is gonna hurt a little!” she flashed him a derranged grin and stepped on his chest to hold him down. Leech was about to strike when something orange caught her eye in the crowd. Samhain was finally here watching her from a clearing in the crowd. The small creature cocked his large sack covered head to the side in curiosity and brought a pumpkin lollipop up to his mouth under its mask. She froze staring back at him giving Freddy enough time to wiggle free from under her boot and escape.
“FUCK THIS I’M OUT” the former Dream Demon leapt off the table. The crowd groaned and dissipated. Robert took his cue to rush in and embrace her giggling to himself as he spun his mate around pulling her tightly into his arms. “Peachy!” he slurred out. “My pretty pretty mate!” he sang kissing the top of her head. He reeked of booze.  
“Bob! Wait I-“
“I went to find you! And strange women kept trying to dance with me!”
“Robert I saw- hold up what?”
“But you’re here now! Your Penny’s got you all to himself!” he giggled and rubbed his nose on her. Leech narrowed her eyes and glared a bit in jealousy.
“Run that last part by me again.”
“Annoying things, dancing around trying to touch. They don’t know you’re mine! Aaaallllll mine, mine, mine, mine!” he began to babble himself not letting his precious mate go as he swayed around till he had pushed her into a wall away from the crowds. He couldn't even remember why he was at this event anymore he just knew she was warm and smelled like rum and lavender. Robert peppered her with drool filled sloppy kisses muttering “mine��� to himself over and over in between each peck. Leech laughed and pushed him back she could see his dilated pupils in his sunken baggy eyes and the warm flush on his cheeks.
“Wow, you were right I am a bad influence on you.” she sighed reaching up to his face when she realized she had gotten the former eldritch abomination completely drunk. Leech knew she’d be in so much trouble once he sobered up but this was at least entertaining. she’d find Freddy about the halloween god shortly. Uncle Bob and Dracula would be here with the candy sack any minute now anyway and soon they’d all be back to normal and hopefully her clown wouldn’t notice a thing. She could enjoy just one more moment of the party. As soon as her fingers touched his cheeks Robert leaned down and locked his lips with her’s letting out a soft groan into her mouth. She didn't think it was possible for him to get more slobbery and sloppy with his kisses but here he was smearing her shimmery dark lipstick all over his own lips and grabbing at her ringmaster costume with greed. He moved to her jaw sucking and nipping at her skin determined to leave some fresh marks on her. Leech gasped when his teeth pinched her skin and ran her fingers through his hair she managed to find her voice and mumbled “Hey, we’re gonna have to stop and go somewhere else soon, everyone is watching.” Robert grabbed some skin from her neck in his teeth and came off her with a wet pop “That’s the point.” he growled and went back to leaving hickies on her flesh. One of Leech’s eyes lazily opened “Pen-“ before she could finish trying to convince him to relocate she had to cut herself off when her vision finally focused. Her body went stiff when she saw who was in the crowd and it wasn't the halloween god Samhain. It was someone that should be long dead, and he was staring directly at her.
------------------------------------
Uh oh WHO COULD IT BEEEEEE! Lol get ready for an extremely violent bar fight kids, shits about to get messy.
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ekoingskies-blog · 7 years
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Smiletale (An origonal AU by EkoingSkies)
Heya guys! This is my very first Tumbler account and post. I am an Undertale fan and artist, and I’m always coming up with thing AUs. This is the first one I've ever actually shared.This AU is sorta a spin off of Horrortale and Flowerfell, but has its own twist. Without further a due, enjoy! And please do comment ad state you’re opinions. Be honest!
 Smiletale by EkoingSkies 
Part one, The Mother
You see the gaping hole from afar, it seeps into the earth like dark water. Allowing you to see it’s surface, but you would have to get closer in order to look all the way to it’s bottom. Taking a step or two closer, you can see that the hole is much deeper than they all say, that the fall could very well kill you, that is, if you were dumb enough to fall in. Feeling brave, you step closer towards it. One step… two steps more … four… and another five. You are standing almost at the edge now, peering down into the hole. You see a small patch of yellow on the ground below you.
Flowers maybe?
Coming to Mt.Ebott was supposed to be a joke. You had run away from home and found your way to a small town unlike the big bustling city that you grew up in. Almost as soon as you stepped in this town, you heard almost everyone gossiping about a mountain, not far from said town, that supposedly was the entrance to a land of monsters. Or as you  heard of it; the Underground. The Underground was said to be a place where monsters had been banished after losing a war with some  humans... or something like that.  You never caught the details.
Since you had no place to be, and nothing better to do, you figured you would take a look for yourself. It would be nice if monsters really did exist, it'd be even better if they were still were alive now. So look down, in hope seeing one. Although, you don't know what exactly to expect. After all, you’d never taken time to think about theses sorts of things. Just about when you'll be able to eat next, were you were going to sleep, how you'd make money to survive. There hasn’t been much time think about childish things like that. For the most part, you left  those fairy tales and folk lores back home, when you turned thirteen. You are fourteen now, fourteen and a half actually. And you have seen more of the world in almost two years than you ever did in the thirteen years you spent with your parents. No regrets.
You have been sitting by the hole since lunchtime. Its nearly sunset now, but you dont know where else you could possibly go, seeing that you can’t go anywhere else. The ankle high, soft grass glistens in the late noon light. Warmth from the sun comes down on you, making the top of your head warm while the cool breeze weaves in and out of your light brown hair. Only a few clouds scatter here and there, giving the sky effects of being (mostly) clear. Just sitting there isn’t enough for you, you want to be able to feel it all. You imagine reaching into the sky, running your hand through the sky and leaving streaks of various hues in it like it was your very own canvas. You snap back into reality, noticing that your hand really is reaching into the sky. To your own disappointment, your fingertips aren't anywhere close to touching the cloud that is slowly hovering above you. This is why you left fantasies back home… But you suppose its okay to have at least some fun while you're still healthy and young. Besides.. . you didn’t leave everything back home. After all, you still have your hope.
For once, the universe seemed to be right. You hadn’t gotten into anyones way in a long while, and no one has yelled at you. No one has touched you. No one has hurt you. All there is, is peace. Never in your life have you been more happy and felt so alive at the same time. It was exhilarating.
You laugh to yourself, closing your eyes. In those few seconds, you hear crumbling from below. Your hands slip from behind you. And you fall.
It took your breathe away... Literally. You had no idea that you had been sitting so close to the hole in the first place. Maybe if you had, you wouldn't be gushing blood onto the flowers you were sprawled on. You begin to wheeze through clenched teeth. Even that hurts. It feels as if several knives are poking and impaling you from the inside. You slowly open your eyes, they sting as if someone kicked sand in them. The taste of blood lingers in your mouth, you believe that's what is dripping down your chin too. Your entire body aches and burns.But.. you can’t feel your legs at all. You try to wiggle your toes but nothing happens. This worries you. As you try to turn your head to the side, away from the blinding light above you, you jolt. Wincing at this reaction, you  screech like a banshee. The pain is agonizing. Its unbearable. You can't do anything without this shooting pain running through you. You can't even look down at your chest to see how bad it is. But… you think you broke your back, along with a few other bones scattered around in your body.
A high pitched, echoing voice come from beside you. It curses you out, complaining about how you should watch where you fall.
“ You almost crushed me! “ it really expressed the word crushed. Which you found a bit rude, but you were too tired and hurt to argue. The voice sounded annoyed.
“Hey, you stupid Human! Look at me when I’m talking to yo-” It stopped and gasped.
“W-what the hell happened to you?!” The voice sounded frantic,and sickened.
Stupid Human?...
You want so badly to explain what had just happened, to ask to repeat what they just said, incase you heard them wrong. But unlike feeling that the world was just in reach a few minutes ago, you feel like you're being buried alive right now. And with this feeling, comes fear of doing anything that might strain you.
Suddenly, a yellow blur pops up above you. Still, you can't see. You think that blood is getting in your eyes. No, its tears, your tears. You whisper, cracking your voice.
“H..el..p...Me….?” The tears begin rolling down the sides of your face. Your eyes sting again. You feel drowsy, light headed. You want sleep. You sob, every heave stabbing your lungs.You cough up red fluid and watch it splatter into the air slightly, only to land on your shirt and face when it comes down. The blur jumps.
“Oh god. Oh my.. “ It stutters. “Hold on! I'll go get help!”
What if you choke on your own blood before it gets back?
“Don't move!” it told you, probably knowing that you couldn't to begin with.
You lie there for hours it seemed, slowly dying. Then the voice came back with a second one with them. It was the soft, loving voice of a women, who you couldn't see any better than the first smaller voice. But you could make out a large purple and white blur.The two blurs together begin talking amongst themselves , but you can't hear them over the sound of heartbeats. You felt large agil hands lifting you up. You screamed in pain once more before passing out.
You now wake up in a cold sweat, gasping , taking in short breaths at a time. You are… in a bed?.... Staring at a ceiling in a house?... You find that your memory is a bit fuzzy.. And the last thing you can recall clearly was sitting by that hole on Mtt. Ebott. That hole.You fell and- Oh god. Your legs. Can you move them?! Quickly you jolt up,  and try wiggling your toes. A sharp pain shoots up your back, but no were near as bad the way it was earlier. Still, it aches. Thankfully it feels much better now. You watch as all of your toes dance around in place. Your vision is clear now to.
Thank God. You think to yourself, sighing with relief. But…. How in the world did you get here? Where is here?... ust then, you hear that voice again.
“A-ah! You're awake! How do you feel?” You skim the room in search of someone wearing yellow. You don't see anyone. So who was just..
“I'm over here! On the nightstand!” It it called out from beside you. Turning your head to the nightstand, you see a yellow flower sitting in a pot. It had tall, thin blacked out eyes and a mouth in which appeared to have to small pointed teeth when it opened.
“You?” you sound more rude than you mean to be.
“Well, duh. Who else is in here other you and me?” the flower looks at you funny, and turns its head away slightly.
“What?” You ask.
He looks in your direction, but avoids looking directly at you.
“PLEASE, cover yourself when i'm in here.” You look down at yourself, confused. That's when you realize, you're not wearing any cloths. Flustered, you quickly pull the covers over your chest and bury your face in them. How you can get so worked up over a flower seeing your breasts is beyond you, but it feels the same as those naked in school dreams; It makes you want to cover yourself, crawl in a hole, and die. Well, you've already done two of those things, but from you have gathered, you aren't dead. But shouldn't you be?
“We have been properly introduced, have we?” The flower goes on without getting you reply.
“Im Flowey, Flowey the Flower.” he extends a leaf, you hold it carefully and shake it.
“Aren't you going to tell me your name?” Flowey asks.
Oh, right…You think to yourself.
“My name is Frisk.” You smile happily. “Very nice to meet you, Flowey!”
He looks taken aback at this.
“Are you serious?”
You questionably nod.
The flower takes a few second to think, before shrugging his leaves.“In that case, it's nice to meet you too, Frisk.” the flower gives a weak smile in return.
“You know... You fell pretty hard. I'm Surprised that you're even still breathing right now.”
You suddenly remember the fall again.
“Flowey, what happened?” you asked.
“Oh, you mean, how are you not dead? Well…. When I went off to go get help, you were near death. I was shocked that you were alive when i got back. you broke nearly every bone in your body and you were bleeding nonstop too. So anyways, I went to find someone who could use healing magic on you- And…. the goat lady was the only monster I could think of…”
You jump up, holding the covers over you and fall back on the bed due to shooting pain up your spine. You huff and sit up again.
“M-monster?” you wheeze, shocked and in discomfort.
“You mean, they do exist?” you wheeze.
Flowey snorts, “Well, YEAH! What do you think your looking at, some ordinary flower?”
Yes, except for the talking part.
Flowey lets out a sigh, “Welcome to the underground, Frisk. Land of monsters. Good luck ever getting out.” You purposely ignore that last statement.
“Who is this... Goat lady?...” you ask, a bit scared to find out. For all you know it could just be a giant goat.
“The goat lady is the one who fixed you. This is her house. “
You look around.”Its nice.”
Just then, you hear the door handle jiggle and turn. As the door opens, you tall goat women in a dark purple dress with long white sleeves. She doesn't look like a normal goat though… She Has blue eyes and droopy white ears. Her mouth looks a lot like Flowey’s too. She wore a kind smile as she walked into the room.
“Hello, my child!” She sat on the end of the bed, weighing it down a bit.
“Do you feel better?” she asks kindly.
You nod, baffled.
“Wonderful!  I'm so glad!”
“But.. I still feel slightly achey…” you admit.
“I see.. I'm sorry, my child. I wanted to heal you as much as i could.. But using that much magical energy really does take a lot out of me. So i went to rest… If you'd like, I can try one more time.”
She reaches out to you with glowing green magic?... around her hands.
“Oh, you don’t have to…” You say, not wanting her to strain herself.
“Nonsense, this will only take a few minutes….. I am just happy that you are awake. You were out for almost a week… As expected, that fall broke many of your bones. Including your back, ribs, even your arms. I'm surprised that you are not paralyzed right now. I am thankful of that.”
Flowey nods in agreement.
Minutes pass, and you feel no pain, only sore in a few areas.
The goat lady sighs, wiping sweat off her brows.
“That should do it!” She looks at you with warmth in her expression.
“Could you tell me, what is your name, my child?”
You don't hesitate to her the way you did with Flowey.
“My name is Frisk.” You smile.
“Well it's a pleasure to meet you Frisk, my name is Toriel.” She smiles back.
You laugh, grinning “It's nice to meet you too, Toriel!” You are still gripping the covers to cover yourself. Toriel notices this.
“Oh dear, i almost forgot. I have some clothes for you!” A but latte she come into the room with a bundle of cloths.
“I couldn't wash the blood out of your old ones.. So I made you these.” She sets them on the bed.
“Come Flowey, let's allow Frisk to change.” With that, she picks up the pot, and leaves the room, shutting door behind her. You smile to yourself. “Like a mother”.
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xwwaqdyd-blog · 5 years
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Car Insurance?????? help!?
Car Insurance?????? help!?
I just got my lisence im a f, and just turned 20. I .ive in MA. I dont know what the av. price would be for car insurance. help! i own a toyota 2000 86.000 miles
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurecheap.us
SOURCES:
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bearrigan37 · 7 years
Text
Mind Vomit, Mind Laundry and Mind Garbage
Hey everyone.
Its been about a year and a half since my last real post. A lot of things have happened since that last post. I am not going to talk about a good chunk of it, because I just plain don't want to. The gist is that I lost a friend, I lost my job and lost my place to live. Thankfully my mother is tolerant of our shenanigans and is letting us stay with her. It's been rough, to say the least. The good things are that my sons are healthy and happy, and get to play around with their cousins and grandparents almost every day. The older one is almost done with his Pre-K, and even has a little ceremony coming up for it.
The thought that this child has grown so much is mind boggling. He's a little cutout of me (unfortunately, but thank the abyss that he also has his mothers genes). He'll start actual Kindergarten soon. His little brother is growing in his teeth, crawling, standing, and damn near walking already. The older one is the young ones favorite person in the world, and that's a big ray of happiness in my otherwise bleak worldview.
My wife has had her ups and downs as well. The school she used to go to that caused her tons of grief is going down for being generally shady and terrible, but the school she is going to now can no longer offer the classes for the degree program she is on. She did, however, get into some classes that will lead to a job with an old folks home, and will make her a CNA. Hopefully that acts as a foot in the door for her to get closer to her career of choice, labor and delivery nursing.
My mom and stepdad are slowly starting to do all the alterations to their house that they have been wanting to do, and seeing them out there painting and cutting wood and doing all their little projects makes my super happy for them. It took them both a long time to finally be in a place that allows that kind of stuff, and they're both finally in a place mentally where they are actually very happy. My sons adore my mom and stepdad, so that's a bonus.
My dad got his shop/cave set up and has a bunch of cool things in there. Amazon Echo turns on his air conditioning and that will always be novel to me. My boys got to spend some time with him recently too. My oldest preferred to play outside, but the younger one had a bit of a fascination with him. His laptop, his beard, the dog, all very exciting to the little guy. Being closer to my parents has brought a good amount of peace to my mind.
In the past year and change, I've done lots of thinking. Lots of anxiety, depression and dysphoria have rushed through me at breakneck speeds. I read an article from Transgender Universe lately that was pretty spot on, I'll link it at the end of this post.
Basically, it talks about the anxiety and mental acrobatics that a person goes through when even thinking about transitioning. It hit all the marks, and I recommend that you all read it. Funny that at the moment I type this paragraph, “Wired Wrong” by Steam Powered Giraffe started playing on my computer.
Anyway.
I lay awake a lot at night. I wake up at all hours in blind panic, or crushing anxiety. I think and think and overthink. The me that is now and the past me, have all laid the foundation for my current life. They've laid down the building blocks for what I have to deal with later on. I did a lot of things wrong, and a few things totally right, but they are both things that keep me up. Does the future me, the correct me, even have the strength to figure out how to deal with all that later on, when I'll be forced to? My decisions and lifestyle now have basically doomed me, lets breakdown how so that everyone has an idea of whats going on in my head.
First off, the two big things that are doing things to my general mental and physical health are my diabetes and my gender dysphoria. Because of the diabetes, I can’t take the pills for transitioning, because the pills are bad for your kidney and liver. The other options are injections or cream/ointment/patches. The injections are the most effective way of taking the hormones, and the cream is the least effective way. The injections are on a national shortage, and there is no real sign of that shortage coming to an end. I'm not sure how the cream would play out for me, honestly. I've been too in my own head to actually call my doctor and find out. More on that later.
Everything that has happened in the past year and change has stopped me dead in my tracks in doing whats best for me. I haven't called doctors, I haven't taken medicine, I haven't gone to school, I've done nothing. Well, I did finally get to go camping, and took a few trips into the desert with my brother in law, those always helped clear my head, but now its spring and my allergies would literally kill me if I stayed outside for too long. I got pericarditis last spring, every time I sneezed or coughed, it would create too much pressure on my heart and stop it momentarily because of a build up of fluid in the pericardium, or something like that. This happened because of viral infection, because allergies.
I worry about everything. I don't sleep, because I think of what is going to happen in the future. When I finally find work again, how far into my transition can I go before things get awkward, or violent for me? How long before someone finds a reason to fire me that allows them to claim that it wasn't discrimination? How do I explain myself to my sons teachers? What do I do if one of the parents of my sons friends decides my son can’t play with their child because of who I am? What do I do when faced with all that? How can I even justify going through with my transition, using all that money when it could be used to pay bills, pay for food, pay for doctors, or even just buying toys for my babies? This whole thing terrifies me. I'm scared to exist, merely because existing the way I want to exist could mean no job, no house, no life if I'm not careful, as in I could be killed because of what I am. The thing that scares me more than that is what will happen to my kids and my wife if I start presenting and people make the connection. Everything that could happen to them keeps me awake.  
I can't justify putting myself first at all. I need to put other people before me. I have a compulsion to do small things for myself to keep myself sane, like archery or hiking, but in the long run, I will never allow myself to put myself first. This leads to more problems.
Like my steadily declining health.
In that regard, I am purposefully putting off everything because of stupid reasons. Its like those fetch quest strings. Go get this, so that you can get this thing from that guy, who'll give you a thing to give to that guy over there who needs this other thing because blah blah blah. I put off working out because my back and feet wont allow me to work out in the ways I want/need to, but I dont go to the doctors to fix those things because [reasons], [bullshit], and [nonsense].
My diabetes is uncontrolled. I have had plenty of opportunities to go to doctors of all kinds of different fields to get me healthy. Doctors for my feet, my organs, my eyes, my back, doctors to get my weight down, start meal planning for a gastric sleeve, therapists, etc, etc, etc. I don't go. I never go. I know I should. I need to get myself into shape. I need to get the fatty tumor on my liver taken care of. I need to get insoles for my feet. I need to stay alive, but I hardly want to.
Because its inconvenient for everyone else.
I have to go to the doctor, well then I need to use the car to go way out to the outskirts of town to see her. I have to see another doctor later, and another later, well I've already used a ton of gas to do that, and I cant forget about how last time I went out to see my doctor, the tire went flat so we had to pay for new ones. Cant let that happen again. Doctors appointments at weird times? Cant try to get someone to babysit, they might be doing something else, I don't want to bother them. I'll just not go. It's easier that way.
That's how it goes.
Hell, even right now I feel terrible writing this instead of searching for a job. I mean, I know there isn't much more I can do to find one, short of getting out and going to places instead of applying online. I just feel bad. I don't really even play games anymore, because I feel guilty enjoying myself instead of providing, or even just trying to provide. I play strictly mobile games now, and the ones I play I just play because I'm part of groups and don't want to let them down. I'm playing a tabletop Fallout game with my wife that I created, mostly because she has been wanting to play D&D for a long time. My game is unpolished and rough, but she's enjoying it, so that's what matters.
I'm not writing this to complain, mostly. I'm going to complain anyway, because I try not to in real life, so I'm writing this on the off chance that more than five people read this. I'm writing this so that if there are any people that feel the same thing, they know that they aren't alone. The only reason I am comfortable typing this out in the first place is because I think only five to ten people read these when I put them out. Some of my dearest, closest friends have no idea who I am, even though I laid it out plain in the past posts. I guess that in a sense, it is a bit of a cry for help, but I'm allowed at least one, right?
Anyone?
*Ahem*.
Losing my job is the worst thing. I had started working at Sportsman's Warehouse, at the archery counter. It was great. Talk about bows, shoot bows, fix bows, and when I'm not doing that, head over to the gun counter and talk about guns, or do some minor work on scopes, sighting in rifles or whatever. Stock the shelves and clean when there is downtime. It was a fun, easy job. I lost the job because I fucked up an interaction with a customer, and mistakenly thought he wouldn't fire the air rifle I just cocked. Well he did, it was loud, and some people thought it was loaded. Corporate HR and Corporate LP decided I had to go. The managers did what they could for me but, I don't think they could even do much. I loved that job, I enjoyed the company of all the people I worked with. My bosses were cool.
All gone now.
Since I am living with my mom, there have been more troubles. My mom and step dad really like everything to be clean and neat, but I'm very lethargic most of the time. I try to help with cleaning and whatnot, but I just don't have the motivation. I know in my head that I shouldn't need motivation, I should just do it because I’m a god damn adult and that's what adults are supposed to do but... eh. Granted, I'm cleaning more here than I did when I was on my own.
My oldest son keeps telling us that he wants to go home, or go to the new house. Having to tell him that we are home, that there is no new house, and watching his little heart break is just the worst thing.
Living with my mom and step dad is great. We all get along great, we have fun and things aren't bad. I just know that we are a bit of an inconvenience. We dirty the house, eat the food, use the water, and don't really do much to help other than cleaning or occasionally buying beer. I wish there was more we could do, but I don't even know what there could be, without income anyway. We have money, but we need to use it to get a place, if there even is a place that will take us with no income, even if we can pay 6 months all at once.
Another thing is that my uncle was supposed to move down a while back, but the only place he can stay is here at my moms. We're still here, so he cant move down. I don't think he will move down until he knows we are back on our feet and stable. He's just like that, he likes to make sure everyone else is comfortable. He doesn't want to impose, I guess. Something like that. We create more inconveniences. So I'm a huge ball of anxiety and guilt and awful. This all contributes to the decline of my mental health. Dysphoria itself is bad enough but damn, just add everything else up and there's just a massive shitstorm on the horizon and I don't know whats going to happen when it hits. I don't know.
Additionally, I don't talk to anyone anymore. I don't know if I don't talk to them because of whats happening, or I just don't, or anything. I don't anymore. I would like to. I would, but I just don't. I guess its that motivation thing from before.
I mean, at this point I feel like I'm just rambling, but this is an important thing for people to know. Contact with humans outside of family is important. Having friends is important. I talk to a few of them online, but rarely.Plus I need to say all this stuff and not actually say it.
Point is, I don't know what my point is. I've got issues.
Everyone has issues, I know. I know that this is also my outlet, my way of letting people know how I feel about things and letting people know stuff about my life. It started out as my Daddy Blog thing and man did that go downhill fast. I feel the need to apologize for the content of these posts, though I know I have no reason to. Should be a little gateway into my head. I open myself to the public for that reason, to give people that gateway. Maybe something I type out and ramble about helps someone. Who knows?
God I hate posting these things, but I have to do it. I have to let it be known. Even if it makes me want to throw up because of nervousness. It’ll all just get worse if I don't.
Thanks for reading.
Links for more reading (Better reading)
My dads Amazon page! He has a ton of books.
https://www.amazon.com/Ron-Washburn/e/B008MN7D2U
My friends blog, she has adventures and ideas!
http://nearlyeloquent.com/
Transgender Universe article, and really just check out the site.
http://transgenderuniverse.com/2017/04/03/the-darkest-moments-in-a-transgender-existence/
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