#DRIVE BRUCE INSANE INSTEAD!! THATS WHAT HE IS THERE FOR

[out-of-context-batfam]

Batgirl (2000) #51

[the-sanders-sides]

inidan american (desi) logan

a sequel to this post because people asked for more and i decided that they shall receive (and also i love writing these)

fair warning, logans a bitter kid, and this isnt as positive and happy as romans post. ive experienced two different ways of being desi, one where i lived in fully asian and indian community and didnt even think id ever feel alone, and another where i moved to a place where i havent met another desi in like 7 years of living here in a 3 hour driving radius. in romans post i played into my first experience and how at home i felt. in the second experience, the one im in right now, i am much more bitter about who i am and not really knowing anyone who gets it anymore. so i play into that A LOT in this. so keep that in mind. (and he will get happier in a future part. m planning on making this into a series)

ok so first off. his name is logan sanders. people (mostly other indians) dont believe him when he tells them. he tells them they dont know indian history. they say they do. he tells them that the british fucked around (quite literally) in india for four centuries so of course english names would stick with that precise wording

sometimes when he’s annoyed enough and doesnt want to explain this for the millionth he defends himself with this russel peters skit (watch it, it’s hilarious) because it describes his family. to a T. 

he grew up in a community with not very many asians, and knew no indians outside his family so he felt a sort of disconnect to his culture

while his grandparents and parents would teach him about indian culture, he felt so distant from it since he knew no one outside his family who was indian, and since he didnt have any siblings or any nearby cousins to hang around with

he had visited india once but he was too young to remember it properly or too remember his cousins

the closest mandir was an hour away so that also limited the amount of indian kids/people he knew

he barely knew hindi because everyone in his family spoke english, especially in public

he felt guilty over the disconnect he felt and would always try to bridge it but would never accomplish this because it he kept losing passion since he rarely saw other people like him in the real world and in the media and he didnt see the point of trying

this all changed in eight grade when he moved next door to the Kumar family in a north indian street of some south asian blocks in an asian community

when his family first moved, the Kumar family invited the Sanders over to welcome them

it turns out the Kumar’s had a son who was the same age as logan

“hi logan! im rohan kumar! but i like going by roman instead of rohan!” 

this introduction pissed logan off 

he was seething because why would this kid who got to have an indian first AND last name change his name to an english one! why didnt he see the value of his name!

he knew right away that such a difference meant they could never be friends 

“im logan sanders, but thats all youll get to know about me because i see no use associating myself with someone as... well, ignorant, as you”

roman decides to whip out one of the swears his cousins taught him and whisper shouts “who are you calling ignorant, bhenchod?” 

 it became clear to him that this was new turf, and people on this new turf must be speaking hindi. and that he was the ignorant one if he couldnt talk in hindi. he made a vow to learn it as fast as he could to make sure this roman kid wasnt better than him

but, logan grits his teeth and says “you, and i know it must be true because you were too dumb to understand me the first time”

this evidently struck a sore spot in roman because he didnt fight back but just stalked away. logan smiled slightly, happy to have won that argument

logan asks his grandpa to teach him hindi and his grandpa gets super excited

they start lessons immediately and despite barely hearing it growing up, it’s as if his brain was made for this because he picks the language up amazingly fast and in a months time, while not able to speak back yet, he can understand most casual conversation

his first diwali in basically little india is the most magical thing ever

diwali at his old home was very quiet because there wasnt anyone around to celebrate with

everyone is so happy in this new home however. everyone is dressed up and all the houses are lit up and there are diyas everywhere and he doesnt want to admit it but the kumar’s have the best rangoli on the street and it’s because of roman and he knows roman did it because sometimes he’d stare out of his bedroom window while doing homework and have a perfect view of roman delicately working on it for two weeks

(the kumar’s front porch had been covered with tarp waiting for diwali to make sure romans precious rangoli wasnt stepped on or ruined. when it’s finally let up, everywhere where there could be art, there is. it’s insane how good at colors roman is, logan thinks)

diwali morning: 

he fights his parents because he doesnt want to miss school for diwali because americans dont have a day off for it. his parents set the clocks in the house ahead to make him think he overslept so he would skip school. (logan didnt know that his parents had submitted an excused absence form for religious reasons and that the school was very understanding. he thought it would be like his old school where he wouldnteven bother trying since he wasnt christain and the school was lkinda discriminatory)

they spend the morning in mandir and it’s nice. for once he doesnt feel different from his peers because he goes to mandir and not church or synagogue. he feels at home.

diwali afternoon:

the afternoon is spent with frantic cleaning and cooking and digging around for the diya’s that were still in boxes, packed away from when they moved

logan offered to find them all to continue with a diya science experiment he started two years prior. his theory was that the diya’s were multiplying and there were more each year despite no one buying anymore

this held true, because even though he could only find half of their diya collection, it was somehow more than the entire diya collection of two years prior. 

diwali evening:

theres a big potluck and everyone in the neighborhood is out talking to each other, looking at the decorations at everyones houses, eating samosas, and playing with sparklers. 

logan feels content

he makes a new resolve to learn more about hinduism. if this is what ti was supposed to be, then he never wanted to be away from hinduism. 

he looked at the metaphors and symbolism in everything and finally understood what his dad meant he told logan that hinduism is just science written in poetry and that string theory is written in the ancient texts

middle school in this new town is so much better than middle school in his old home. why?

a. doesnt get bullied for being a nerd

b. doesnt get called gay slurs 

c. the classes are harder 

d. much less racism

e. all of the above

soon enough, logans asking his grandpa to teach him how to cook Indian food

Logan spends the day burning dosas and making lopsided rotis

(eventually he gets the hang of it, and a he'll be cooking food for an infuriating Indian boy ;) ;) psst it's roman)

Speaking of boys

Coming out isn't an option for logan

He knows that his parents arent really religious enough to really look into hinduism and see that no, gays are not bad

But they are traditional and conservative enough to be homophobic

not homophobic as in spewing hate with the westboro baptist church at a pride parade

But homophobic as in "the gays are fine as long as they don't do it in front of me" kinda thing

So Logan stays quiet

the closet kinda sucks but i mean what can he do

it’s safer inside, and he as illogical as wishing is, he wishes that people would use their brains and realize there’s nothing wrong with gay

anyway

in school logan makes his first desi friend, who was dubbed as anxiety years ago and cant seem to get rid of the nickname and now has a whole complex about his name so logan doesnt know his name

logan and anxiety meet in the school library: logan studying and anxiety hiding

people dont like anxiety

especially non-indian kids

surprise surprise it’s an old buddy called racism, but anxiety’s story is for another time

(but even though no one really likes anxiety, whenever racist shit goes down, it has to go through roman)

so logan and anxiety become fast friends

and they make fun of roman (a+ bonding)

logan claims that roman is a hypocrite for changing his name to an english one while being so immersed in indian culture

anxiety doesnt dispute this, but says he has a past with roman

a past that involved getting stuck with the name anxiety

again, another story for another time

one day, when logan and anxiety are eating lunch they see roman destroy some homophobes who throw around the word f*g and keep calling caitlyn jenner, bruce jenner

logans chest surges

he’s all like “what?? emotions?? pride at roman?? is he better than me for being so open and standing up for what he believes in??”

gay panic basically

but logan masked it well and pushed it away

the next day roman comes to school with a pride patch on his jean jacket

logan feels like he cant breathe

logan is supremely jealous of roman.

he can be gay in peace

he can pretend not to be indian in a way that benefits him

and he’s not affected by stereotypes in the same way?? like what does this kid not have

and by stereotypes i mean

roman is the complete opposite of all indian and desi stereotypes: loud, flamboyant, theatrical

logan’s personality is exactly how the stereotypes are. he’s nerdy and likes science and math and it seems like he cant escape the stereotypes. they follow him. and he feels guilty that he likes science and math and is nerdy. 

as illogical as it is, he wishes he was different from how he is

but logan later learns that there are more than just his perspective on being desi and that every desi kid growing up faces challenges about it that are different than his, causing them to experience being desi differently

and logan will accept that, in another story at another time

for now, he’s just bitter. and as illogical as it is, he wishes the world was better

and now, i shall tag some people who asked to be tagged and some other desi’s who loved this because i feel like you guys might appreciate this too. also i love u. desi famders squad up.

@sssixeyedrunt @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @caterpiller-tea @xxxbladeangelxxx @snufflesthegrim227 @cloudchaser7 @thelowlysatsuma 

[blueboltkatana]

Avengers and Cursing

Steve

Captain America doesn't curse! He's a role model for children and adults he's an ideal man. He does NOT say bad words. But thats Captain America... Steve Roger's a whole other person. He curses like a sailor. He'll say "fuck you" instead of Hello just because. He curses whenever he's not wearing his Cap mask. He even comes up with creative curses sometimes, but the Avengers favorites are the OLD ones, like an expression that hasn't been used sice 1940. Bucky has revealed that he used to be much worse Before he became Captain America.

Tony

Loves cursing, but he likes using sarcasm rather than outright insult people so he doesn't get to curse much. He likes to get creative thought and combines different curses to make a much, much nastier one.

Doesn't care bout public image and all of that, he'll tell even the president to Fuck Off to his face and not even blink. It's not like anyone can do anything to him anyway.

Thor

He curses... But in Asgardian. No one knows what the fuck he just called them but it was long and deeply felt. He doesn't particularly like cursing thought because he was raised as a prince, but he just Has to do it sometimes when it's too much.

Clint

Knows how to curse VERY WELL but to annoy the Hell out of everyone he doesn't. When things aren't very serious he uses replacements like Fudge or Heck and it drives everyone INSANE cause they know what words can come out of that foul mouth of his. He also gasps every time another Avenger curses and looks innocently at them. When he curses for real you know something is really wrong.

Natasha

Can curse whenever she wants but she likes to have standards. Her curses are rare because she likes i when they look at her surprised that she can curse. Most of her curses are in English but she Will turn to Russian if mad enough. Usually she just lets out a long sentence in Russian and everyone knows they're fucked. Sometimes she'll say normal words in Russian just to fuck with the others cause she's a Troll.

Bruce

This man doesn't like to curse. He has 7 phds and a big enough vocabulary to call you 20 things worse than Asshole and you won't even understand it. He will whisper "shit" to himself when things get really bad. Once used the word Fuck in a sentence and the Avegers almost had heart attacks.

*actually curses a lot when left alone in his lab but doesn't want people to know cause it ruins his reputation*

Bucky

Will curse in English, then in Russian, then in 7 other languages, then again in Russian and maybe finish with English. Steve basically taught him how to curse like him so he has a foul mouth. Unlike Steve he doesn't care about setting an example and stuff. Has cursed in live tv and would do it again. The only one who knows Natasha is trolling everybody but doesn't say anything about it.

Sam

He tries not to swear. Tries is the key word here. Being Steve's friend has ruined him. Now the only way he greets people is "hey fuckface" and it kills him inside but it's too late now. There is no going back. He and Bucky can argue and curse at each other for HOURS if someone doesn't stop them. It's the only time Sam doesn't regret swearing like a sailor.

Wanda

Really doesn't want to swear but with all these horrible role models you can't blame her for letting go sometimes. Curses only in her native language, never in English. Wants to keep her reputation intact but it's so difficult when you're surrounded by dumbasses like these.

Vision

Knows every single curse word that exists in every language but chooses to never use them. Does not swear ever. The Avengers have made bets when he will finally cave in but it seems he's in complete control. His first actual curse word is crap and he apologized before and after saying it.

[dappercrows]

DRUNK BATJOKES CUZ MY ROOMIES DID IT TOO

Batman growls at the clown, his teeth showing too much for his own good. Joker love the way those little white bones shine in the near darkness. Joker laughs, and dodges a punch like he never gets hit. Batman manages to slam a fist into the clowns face a moment later, feeling more satisfied than he should for making violent contact. Joker loves the attention and bursts out into hysterical laugher, blood dripping from his nose and into his dry mouth. “Batsy, do it batsy, kill me. let me win!” He says with a smile. 

“No!” Batman yells, his face angry and tired, so, so tired. This was their life, beating each other senseless to near death because thats all they knew. Batman glared into Joker’s eyes, holding the blood stained, formal orange shirt with a tight fist. 

“Batsy. Please...” Joker says, alomost desperate now, sounding broken and desperate. 

“I dont want to kill you.”

“Then what DO you want to do to me, Bats?” Joker asks, his face all but beaten to a bloody pulp. Batman doesn’t know how to respond, but Joker looks sad, desperate, and their eyes meet for just a little too long. 

“Joker...” He says after a far too long pause. 

“Hit me.” Joker begs, his eyes intense. Batman complies, and blood splatters from jokers mouth, hitting the asphalt hard. 

“NO. I’m done. I... I’m tired Joker. I... I can’t take this anymore. We need to stop. We’ll kill each other!” Batman is practically yelling now, more emotion behind his word than he even realizes.

“I love you Batsy. No one but you can hurt me like this. Only you.” He says, and Batman swears he sees tears caught in those bright green eyes.  Batman punches the clown because he doesnt know how else to react to what he thinks is Joker trying ot get under his skin.

“SHUT UP!” He yells, his covered eyes narrowing on red lips and pale skin and green hair. 

“It’s okay Bats, I thought we could keep doing this, but we’re getting old and I want more. You just aren’t as fun are you, and I figure my antics aren’t getting more impressive either,” Joker says, his face stretched into the smile that Batman is all too familiar with. They smile that makes Batman ache despite the fact he would never admit it. 

“What...” Batman says, acting confused, but he knows what Joker means, he feels it too. He needs it too. “All this time. You and me. Come on  bats, what do you say?” Joker says, grinning thorugh bloodied mouth and balckend eyes.  “Stop... playing games Joker.” Batman says, but he’s hesitant, he knoes joker isn’t playing, knows hes never been playing when hes said these kinds of things. In a weird way, he’s always known that Joker has been in love with him.  “Would I joke?” Joker asks, sounding offended, and touches his almost broken hand to his chest.   “You’re going to Arkham, wher eyou belong,” Batman says, trying ot avoid the subject, but its the only thing he can think about, its been on his mind since the beginning. Him and Joker, locked in this cycle, doomed to kill each other. Or were they?

“I love you.” Joker repeats, even more desperately than last time, as if batman didn’t comply he would kill himself, or drive himself even further down his insanity whole. It shook Bruce, at his very core. He knew he wanted it, knew that what they had was special, that they needed each other. He pulled Joker in without a work and practicall slammed their mouths togehter, the feeling reminiscent of the Joker gas he’s been subject to so long ago. Their lips slide and grate against each other in a way thats too perfect. Their kiss goes on for minutes before Batman manages to break it, “Joker... I... You’re sick and need help. It’s what Ive always wanted for you. Please, let me help you.” Joker laughs, but says nothing. “Ive wnted you, okay?” Batman says, angrily, “But you need help.” He growls, trying to get some snese of humanity out of the clown.  “Its all of me or none of me Batsy. Don’t you dare try to change me.” Joker says, grabbing onto Batman’s cape, pulling him close. Their lips smash again, Joker;s teeth bite into Btaman’s lips and draw blood with a moan. “Batsy,” He mumbled into teh kiss. “Joker....”Batman starts, but doesn’t say anything else, and instead grapples to a nearby rooftop, to rooftop to street to batmobile. He Buckles the clown in, and punches in the autopilot for the batcave. Eventually, in the silence he speaks up, “I don’t know what this is... if it;s a trick or a joke, but... Im taking you to the batcave, and Im going to keep you there until I’ve decided what to do with you.” He explains. “Oohh Batsy, I love it when you take charge.” Joker says, his brain still fuzzy from all the senseless violence.  “As long as you treat me like hte lady I am, “m aaall your’s” He grins, his eyes might as well be closed.  “I know,” Batman replies and hopes he doesn’t regret his decision as the car races towarsd his very secret cave.