#Darnell wanted to be a big man

[paperbagsandwich]

How did Darnell and Roslyn find out they were both into this niche? (Like how did they find out the other was also into it I mean XD)

Was it an accident or was it something they talked about? :y -🍋

Okay, so I've actually been thinking about there discovery into each other's niche JCKSNAKSBISNSK

It happened in highschool when they both had the same classes. The subject was about dieting and the teacher was talking about the food pyramid and stuff.

The teacher brought out the bags of fat as an example, saying that is what all this fat looks like and Roslyn went beet red unable to hide the excitement. And well... Darnell wasn't any better, he just kept nervously giggling and sweating.

The teacher let the students touch the examples and Roslyn and Darnell struggled to be normal about it. Like they were the only students who touched it the longest.

Years after highschool, Roslyn kinda brought it up and Darnell had the same reaction he had with the bag but Roslyn reassured him that she felt the same way about it.

They talked more and realized that Ros was more of an admirer and Darnell wanted that weight on him.

[papil0nglegs]

Friday night night funkin dating hcs!!

Warnings: Some nsfw stuff but nothing too far, boob grabbing, bra stealing, nudes but not rlly

A/n: I HAVE ANOTHER OBSESSION UGHHH, anyways!! I’m so happy the fandom is reviving bc of the new update ahh. Also I didn’t rlly know what to put for bc so apologies if you wanted more of him :(

Keith (bf):

He’s such a flower sniffer istg

He’s like a rosy cheeked sweetheart who brings you heart chocolate every time he visits you

No but actually he’s wrapped around your fingers, it’s scary.

His fav dates are you and him alone at his house watching Godzilla movies and laying his head against your stomach while you play with his hair

AND YOU WEAR HIS HAT

Sometimes you’ll send a pic of you in his boxers that he left at your house just to tease him

But whenever he feels silly (which is all the time) he’ll send a picture of him in your bra for funsies

“I can do that too :D”

“0_•”

Keith is such a nerd, playing video games with him is your go to date

You guys would always match, like whenever you two play Mario kart he’d be toad and you’d be toadette

You hype him up sm, esp when playing Fortnite 😭

Y’all know that one Tik tok audio that goes

“Yeah get his ass FUCKING PUSSY TRY THE FUCK AGAIN BITCH, TRY THE FUCK AGAIII”

You do that, and it scares him.

His fav activity? Pot + cartoons.

You guys are the silliest couples ever. Laughing at SpongeBob with fog all over the room until your ribs start to hurt.

“Babes.. do you think that like-Starfires armpits are also pink?”

“…woah”

Pico:

Now when pico first starting dating you he thought you were just another chick to stuff his wiener in.

But soon enough, you guys were both wrapped around each others finger.

He’d kill for you tbh

Pico canonically has abs, so he likes it whenever he’s chilling with you and you just poke/rub them. He thinks it’s the cutest AND hottest shit ever

This man cannot get enough of your boobies, whenever he’s on his phone he’d have his arm around you and casually use your boob as a stress ball.

Sometimes he’ll just steal your bras whenever you’re showering or changing, just so that he can get a fresh look at ‘his girls’ (that’s what he calls them)

“Pico!! Have you seen my bra?”

“Hm? Na babe, I’m js here.”

This sly fuckin ginger

Most of his dates consist of going to his fav burger joint or sleeping over at each others houses

He esp loves the second one cuz he gets to makeout with you, prob his fav thing to do in this life.

Whenever you guys leave any function, like ever, he’ll just flash the middle finger at whoever he finishes talking to. You find it so strange 😭

“Babe you don’t have to do that every time we leave..”

Also his dad (Tankmen) loves embarrassing him in front of you.

(Tankmen) “Yeah so Pico kept pissing himself in the bed until 7th grade, shit had me concerned but turns out it was just normal puberty shit.”

(You)“Oh..”

“Dad I’m gonna kill you.”

Lmao he did eventually

Darnell

Darnell has such a big ego on being a ‘cool tough guy’, but when it comes to you it entirely washes away

It embarrasses him whenever he’s around his friends and you come over and start smooching him all over his face, getting lipgloss/lipstick all over him

“Mwah mwah mwah!!”

“B-baby. Babe, you’re ruining my aura.”

But he loves showing you off, you’re like his biggest flex. Whenever he hangs with his friends he always shows pictures of you like you’re his newborn

“Yeah so this is when we went to the skate park the other week and-“

“Dude. This is like the 5th picture you’ve shown me of them.”

Once for Valentine’s Day, he surprised you by spray painting an entire wall of you smooching him. (But like in the style of the fnf stickers they sell)

You were in such awe, you almost cried.

He was so embarrassed to show you at first, but when he saw how much you loved it he was so relieved

You and Nene are such besties

Like, squealing while talking about boys besties

“HII Y/N!!! :33”

“OMG HEY NENE!! ^^”

So when she found out you had a crush on Darnell, she was so excited

You guys became delusional abt him together, like

“NENE TODAY DARNELL LOOKED AT ME”

“STOPP HE WANTS YOU SO BADD”

“IKR”

O and your weapon (cuz everyone in picos friendgroup has one) is a broken glass bottle of whatever your fav drink is

Sometimes you’ll throw in a burning rag in there to make a Molotov cocktail

Also I hc that Darnell has thick silver rings and you love how they feel against your neck whenever you guys are smooching.

He lets you wear them at times but they always slip off because our boy has some THICK fingers.

[itsbackwoodsbby]

Laying Low

Drug Dealer Yahya x Black Fem Reader

Warning: Death! Drugs! Murder! Unprotected Sex!

Summary: You sell drugs with your boyfriend, Darnell, but you two constantly argue back and forth. One day, he tells you about how a man named Yahya is seeking revenge on you two for killing his cousin, Jayshawn, when you two were in high school. What happened next? Read it to find out.

Sneak Peek: This is the hardest part about working with Yahya. The sexual fucking tension between you two. Working with a fine black man as a beautiful ass black woman. There’s never a moment where he’s not discussing how you should just let a nigga fuck. And he’s a smooth talker. Even though you say you’ll never mix pleasure with business, it’s kinda hard to focus on that with your back pinned up against a wall, listening to a man begging to fuck you, as he feels on your body.

“Yahya… I told you. I’m not mixing business and pleasure no more.” You yelp out as he pops your thigh. “You gonna make me beg? C’mon, show me that body.” He says before kissing your neck, moving up to your jawline and to your ear to whisper, “That perfect ass body.” He smirks and pulls you closer to his body, thrusting his hips slowly into you, making you feel how hard you make him.

You about to lose it. Your biggest rule is almost out the window. You always knew he was just walking around with a big dick. Hell, he couldn’t have all these random bitches with a small one. But you remember he has a roster of women, which makes it easier to bring that moral back in and push Yahya away from you.

“Nah.” You smile and laugh. He sucks his teeth, “You gon’ let me fuck eventually. You know you want me like I want you.” You shake your head, “Nope.” You lie to him.

A/N: Okay, so this was a request ,but my dumbass deleted the ask with my chubby ass thumb. I know it was could I make a smut with this gif (not mines).

This is what I had in mind. I started this February 27th and finished March 18th. It was so much editing and revising to make sure that it was good for everyone. Hope you guys enjoy!!

Taglist:

@keeper0fhearts @dayiiidayana @becauseimswagman1 @yanalanettebby

If you want to be on my taglist, PLEASE ask me. My nerves will NOT let me just tag people.

Since you started talking, you have always been a peaceful and timid little girl. You minded your business and would never say anything even if it bothered you. You weren’t exactly bullied in school because of this, but you allowed people to walk all over you and use you until you met him.

When you were a freshman in high school, you met Darnell. He was a popular kid in high school, played basketball, and ran track. He started failing math and at first, he didn’t care, but they said he wasn’t going to play basketball if he didn’t get his shit together. He got it together by asking you to tutor him. You said yes and tutored him after practice even though you didn’t want to. You started developing your first crush on him, but something in the back of your mind told you it wouldn’t work out, so you decided to keep it quiet. Which was a good idea, because he would rather not be caught around you. You weren’t ugly, you just weren’t popular like him. You didn’t care.

One day, you got in your soft girl era and glowed up. You became that bitch and everyone wanted to be your friend. You either told everyone to keep the same energy they had when you were “nobody.” However, you couldn’t exactly do that for Darnell. Since you still liked him. “Damn, ma. It’s like that?” is all it took for you two to hang out. Eventually, you two got close, started dating, and he took your virginity. It wasn’t anything to write home about, but it rocked your junior body to a new level of maturity and confidence. You weren’t that timid little girl anymore. You were the popular boy’s girlfriend.

Around your senior year, he tore his ACL during a basketball game. It ruined all chances of him getting a scholarship in basketball or track. He started to wash cars at his uncle’s car shop to make some money and get his mind off his school athletics. It lasted for a while until his uncle got into a financial problem.

One day, you and Darnell decided to visit his uncle at the car shop. You two found him unconscious with his head busted open a bit and the majority of his teeth fell out. Once he woke up, he explained that he got his ass handed to him because he did business with a nigga named Jayshawn and that he only had two weeks to give him his money back. Darnell was pissed as hell. His uncle was special to him, damn near his favorite person. He raised him when his drunk-ass dad didn’t. So what did Darnell do? Darnell became a drug dealer to get the money fast. Just a few little sales and he was out of the game. He even recruited some of his friends to help him.

You always rode around with him. Like his little lap dog. He didn’t mind it. He always thought of it as you being his Bonnie.

It didn’t take long for Darnell to get Jayshawn’s money. You went to him when he gave the money to him. Jayshawn came by himself, unprotected because he underestimated Darnell. Of course, Jayshawn teased you. “Oh, is this your little girlfriend?”, “She’s pretty thick. How old is she? I can have a fun time with her.” are some of the creepy things the old head said. Darnell was pissed but your presence calmed him down somehow. But the deal didn’t go through as you thought it would. Jayshawn started talking about wanting to add interest because he waited so long for the money. Darnell was mad, asking Jayshawn what he needed to give him more money for, but he wouldn’t answer him, just giving him a cheeky answer that pushed Darnell to the unthinkable.

He pulled out a gun and let off three shots. Jayshawn fell straight to the ground, blood pouring out of his chest. You stood there, frozen. You had just seen your first homicide. Darnell looked at the lifeless body, picked up the money he made, and tapped your shoulder, constantly repeating your name, so you two could leave the scene.

When you two got in the car, it was quiet. Now and then, you’d side-eye Darnell. You were expecting shit to pop off, but not that. You two go to his uncle's house to explain what happened. He suggests that you two need to lay low for a while. You were confused about why you needed to lay low. You didn’t kill the nigga. You were a witness. Darnell’s uncle just tells you that if Jayshawn’s people see you they would probably hurt you because you are Darnell’s girlfriend.

During that time, you didn’t get to talk to your friends or your family. Your mom was worried sick about you. She blew your phone up asking where you were and how you better bring your ass back to her house now. You didn’t though. You and Darnell laid low for a month before you two showed your faces.

Your mom was pissed. She claimed she knew that Darnell killed Jayshawn, how she didn’t want you around all that, and how you were a sweet girl before you met Darnell. That shit went in one ear and out the other. You had definitely changed after seeing Jayshawn get whacked. You were distant. You became disobedient to your mom. You still hung out with Darnell and came home whenever you wanted to. But it all changed after you started helping Darnell in the streets. You were selling drugs and murking niggas. The anxiety feeling you got when you saw Jayshawn die was gone and a new thrilling feeling rolled over your body: being wealthy and having power.

Eventually, your mom got tired of your shit and kicked you out of her house. Mainly in fear of when your ass gets caught, her house wouldn’t be raided, looking for you or whatever drugs you had smuggled into her house. You moved in with Darnell who lives with his uncle after his mom kicked his ass out as well two months before. You finished school. You were an honored graduate. You didn’t let the streets stop you from getting your education. Darnell, however, dropped out because he was already successful.

Now, it has been seven years since you graduated high school. You wake up and shower to do your housewife duties. You go downstairs and take a stretch before you cook breakfast for you and Darnell and his uncle. As you finish, they roll out of bed and start coming downstairs to eat this delicious meal you have made.

Everyone fixes their plate and sits at the table. As soon as they have their first bite, they dig into the food like they haven’t eaten since last week. You roll your eyes, but inside, you’re proud of this delicious breakfast you cooked.

After their third serving of food, you wash the dishes that you messed up. Darnell comes up and smacks your ass.

“Damn, baby that food was delicious.” He says. Before you can answer, here comes his raggedy-ass uncle, putting in his two cents “Well, of course, the food is good. You gave her some dick last night. Had her screaming for dear mercy. Just how I taught you.”

You look at Darnell who just shrugs the situation off like it’s something completely normal. You roll your eyes and continue washing dishes. You put the dishes up and head upstairs to the bedroom. Here goes the toothless motherfucker once again.

“Yeah, boy. She wants some more. You see how she popping that ass upstairs.” He says, trying to dap up his nephew. You slam the door.

You can hear Darnell and his uncle semi-arguing. Not about protecting his girl and telling his uncle to stop saying shit like that. It was about his uncle ruining his chance of getting pussy. His uncle's last words before Darnell followed you upstairs were:

“Well, I live here too. Not my problem your girlfriend is loud as hell when y’all fuck in MY HOUSE.”

You roll your eyes and just look at Darnell. He sighs, “You know he done lost a few brain cells after that incident.” You mumble, “Nigga finna lose more than that if he don’t shut the hell up.”He chuckles at your remark and then starts kissing your neck. You push him away, “No. I’m not in the mood.” He tries again and you get up away from the bed. “I said no, nigga.” You semi-yell at him. He sighs and looks down at the bed then back at you, “You seriously going to let my uncle kill the vibe baby.”

You damn right. You might be horny for this boy’s dick, but you’ll be damned if you have to listen to his creepy-ass uncle make sexual comments about you. Sometimes, when it’s just you two alone, his uncle makes even more vulgar sexual advances, including trying to touch your ass.

Of course, Darnell gets mad you ain’t wetting his dick up. You sigh, “Baby, why can’t we just move out of here and get our own place?” You come back to him, sit on his lap, and wrap your arms around his neck. “That way, we can have sex more.” You look down at him and see him smiling at the idea and he wraps his arms around your waist tightly and grips your booty, “Maybe, even start a family, eventually.” You add, smiling with him.

You feel his embrace loosen up from you. You look at him. “Y/N, you know how I feel about kids.” He rolls his eyes and looks annoyed. You almost had him. “Come on, Darnell. We are not going to get any younger. We should start a family.” You put it out there. He just stays quiet, so you get off his lap and just look at him. “Uh, hello? I said something.”

He ignores you and then his phone goes off. You get a glance at it. India Dior. You roll your eyes and get off the bed. You two went to school with Miss. India. She was very popular. Mainly because she is pretty, rich, and she could dress. She didn’t have much of a personality. Just being a hoe. Now she’s an influencer. Showing her big ass house, that her dad brought her and just showing off her beauty on the internet.

If being an influencer stops working for her one day, the money won’t stop for her. Her dad would give her money. Her dad is a big drug dealer. He is somewhat of a motivation for Darnell. You couldn’t say anything bad about Robert Jackson around Darnell, or he’ll become the most dick-riding motherfucker.

You get really sick and tired of seeing India’s name on this nigga phone. He swears it’s so innocent and that she's just checking up on him or that he asked her dad for tips on how to run his business. You know it has to be a bit more than that. You were born at night, but not last night.

He sighs and looks at you, “You really not going to give me none tho?” He rubs your spot and you push his hand away, “No because your raggedy ass gum mouth ass uncle can’t mind his business and you can’t even tell him that shit is weird and uncomfortable and you just ignore me.” You roll your eyes. He huffs, “Man, whatever. Always trippin’ and shit. You need some dick. Maybe it will help your attitude.”

And that last sentence is what starts the fifth argument this week. And it’s just Tuesday. All ‘cause he’s mad you won’t give him no pussy. Well if he would meet you halfway on this and move out maybe you’ll give him pussy more.

You don’t even want to argue with Darnell. You love the man with every bone in your body, but you’re always putting your needs and wants on the back burner to make this nigga happy. Can he do the same for you? Hell naw.

“AYE! Y’ALL TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Toothless screams from downstairs. “DAMN! PREFER YALL FUCKING THEN ALWAYS FUCKING ARUGING.” He yells some more.

You look at Darnell to see if he heard what his uncle said. He just shrugs and acts like it’s nothing. “I’m finna shower.” He brushes his way past you and grabs his stuff to shower.

You sigh and lay on the bed as he walks out. When he leaves, you let the tears out that you hid during the argument. Mentally, you’re so tired and your boyfriend doesn’t even care. Your quiet sobbing makes you even more tired, so you relax your body and sleep.

You wake up from your nap in a tight embrace a good hour later. You look up and see you’re lying on Darnell’s chest. You look up at him and he looks down at you and kisses your forehead.

“How did you sleep, baby?” He asks you. You look around, stretch a bit, and look back at him, “I slept okay.” You say and look away from him, remembering what happened before you took a nap. He sighs, “I’m sorry. You’re right. My uncle be out of pocket. It’s not cool what he does and says. I am your man and should be speaking out for you and telling him what he’s saying is wrong.” You smile a bit, happy he’s realizing his wrongs. “We can move out of here. Especially with everything that’s going on.”

He blows out some hot air and looks at you. You sit up, “What's going on?” He looks at you, “I don’t want to worry you. It’s Jayshawn’s cousin. He’s close to our age. He is coming for us.” Your eyes get wide, “Why? Like why is he now getting us?” He looks at you, “You know I killed Jayshawn while he was in jail. He's out now.” He continues, “I got an insider that said he is getting back in the game. He ain’t going to have anything like a gun or shit. So I was thinking we could kill two birds with one stone and maybe kill him and rob for his shit. That way we wouldn’t have to worry about that nigga no more.

You think about the plan. It’s risky as hell, but it’s worth it. When it comes to this lifestyle, you hate being a target. Besides it being dangerous, you’re also going to be stuck in a house with Gummy and Darnell when you have to lay low from cops and opps. You would rather not do that, so you have to risk it. But you are still questioning whether it was a good idea.

You sigh, “And that nigga will really be defenseless?” He looks at you, “Of course, he will be. He won’t be expecting anything.” You nod your head and smile, “Do you think we should bring the boys? Just in case shit gets rocky.” You add. He shakes his head, “Nah, baby. I told you he’s harmless right.” You look at him, “Okay.” He smiles and kisses your forehead, “Ight. We are going at night. My boy watched him. Said he usually leaves the trap house by himself.” You just nod your head and mentally prepare yourself for what’s about to come.

So around 11, you two go to Yahya’s new trap spot and creep inside. Darnell suggests that you two split up so that you two can find the valuables more easily. You agree with the idea and instantly regret it. Darnell starts being super loud. You two aren’t even in the same room, but you can hear breaking shit and heavy footsteps. Suddenly, it quiets down. You think Darnell has found the valuables he needs and now he’s off to kill Yahya. But instead, you hear a voice call out.

“Who the fuck is there?” The voice asks.

You hide behind boxes with some product in them and look around to see this Yahya. He is very muscular and tall. You bite your lips at him, but then you get yourself back into focus.

Suddenly, something knocks a box down, giving away your cover. Yahya rushes to you, pins you against a wall, and puts a knife to your neck.

“Who the hell are you?!” He says, almost shouting at you as he looks you up and down. You don’t say anything, just look up at the ceiling.

Your silence makes Yahya mad. You don’t care. Especially when you see Darnell creeping past the door. You start to grin, thinking your man is about to save you and shoot Yahya. But he doesn’t. He smiles and waves at you, sneaks out the door, and leaves you there. Your grin drops.

You should have known that something was up when you woke up from that nap. He was being too damn nice and HE apologized. Darnell never apologizes, even when he knows he’s wrong. Your heart shatters in a million pieces. You can’t believe this shit! Your first love really set you up.

Yahya pushes the knife a bit deeper. “I said who the fuck are you?” He repeats himself, louder to make sure you can hear him. Your sadness turns to anger quickly, “You should know, fuck nigga. You wanted to kill me for killing your cousin.” You say as you roll your eyes. He looks at you, “What are you talking about?” You look at him confused, “You wanted to kill me and Darnell. Over your cousin … Jayshawn.” He looks at you and laughs, “Ion care about no damn Jayshawn. I didn’t fuck with him. Blood or not. Besides, he died from being a dumbass.” He laughs some more and drops you on the floor. “Should have strapped up, careless ass nigga.”

You sigh, feeling like a damn fool. You stand up and brush yourself off. This shit is so embarrassing.

“So tell me for real, why you here?” He questions you and you tell him the short version of the story, “My boyfriend told me that you wanted to kill us because you wanted revenge for your cousin.” He chuckles, “Sounds like your lil boyfriend just wanted your ass gone.” His chuckle becomes a hard laugh. You roll your eyes, “Well, not to rain on your parade, but he stole some of your product and your money while he was here.” He shrugs, “I can make that money back easily. And that product he stole ain’t shit. Mid at best. I’m looking for a new supplier anyway.” You just mug him, “Good the fuck for you.” He laughs, “Don’t be mad at me. Be mad at your nigga or whatever for setting you up.” You shake your head, “Yeah yeah. Whatever.”

You don’t even fight to win the petty ass argument with him. You’re so heartbroken and honestly where the fuck has arguing got you, anyways. Heartbroken and homeless. You sigh and start walking away.

“Aye! Aye!” He calls out. “Work with me.” He says. You turn around, “What?” You walk back to him. “Work with me.” He says, licking his lips at you. “What makes you think I can run the game for real? You see I just got set up. You saw how I was just finna give up and let you kill me.” You list your reasons. He just smiles at you, “I wouldn’t have known where you were if the box didn’t fall. That nigga was the only reason you got caught. Possibly threw this over here.” He says as he picks up a rock.

You stand there, contemplating. Should you work with Yahya? You don’t know him. He could eventually do the same thing as Darnell did to you. You don’t know why he even went to jail. You look at him as he puts his hand out. He gets you when he says:

“We can get revenge on Darnell if you would like that.” You smile and shake his hand, “Glad to do business with you.” He laughs.

While working with Yahya, your life got way better. You’re well-respected in the streets. Everyone knows that fuck with you, they fuck with Yahya and that’s not something they want to do.

You’re closer with your mom and you two speak every day. She doesn’t like that you’re still in the game, but she loves your new partner because he doesn’t have you doing crazy things. Another plus for her, you both spoil her, so it’s a win-win for her.

After sleeping in the trap house for a while, you finally had enough to buy your first house and a little extra to decorate how you wanted. It was nice to not have to clean every damn day after two grown-ass men. It was relaxing to be able to walk around the house butt-ass naked finally.

You decided from then on, that you’d never mix your pleasure with your street business ever again.

Working with Yahya also means random bitches always interfere with work. They pop up at the trap house, trying to be under him and watch you as IF you want him. You don’t know how many times you had to tell these bitches off because they try to say something about you being too close to him or they’re even going to take your spot and be the only woman in his life. You reassure these bitches, they’re definitely not the only ones.

And don’t even forget about trying to work when Yahya is horny. If his phone dings and it’s one of his bitches, meeting over with. He will rush to drop some dick off in them. Or he gives her a quickie in the trap house and you are just stuck there listening for what feels like an eternity.

Currently, you are sitting in the trap house, listening to Yahya crack this girl in the other room. It’s so aggravating. Today is product day. Yahya gives you and the rest of the team some products and you guys move it. You take this opportunity to talk to Yahya about this plan you had. You two were in the middle of talking about your revenge on Darnell's greasy ass and then Miss. Brittani delulu decides to pop up so she can get her daily dose of dick.

When they return, Yahya buckles up his pants as she fixes her little sundress and her haYou roll your eyes in disgust. Yahya stands there, cupping her ass, telling her that he’ll see her again, and how he’ll be thinking about that pussy. You roll your eyes and scoff. It’s the same thing he tells all the others. Brittani looks over at you and she starts mugging you.

“You’re just jealous that he wants me and not your street rat ass.” She says to you. You look at Yahya, “Please, kick her out so we can work. Please.” You look back down at your phone, trying to spare her. “Bitch, you don’t rush me. You’re nothing. I’m a goddess. He loves me.” You sigh and look at her, “Sweetheart, you’re just another body on his list, let alone you’re the fifth bitch that fucked him in the bathroom this week. Please… tread the fuck lightly.” Brittani looks at Yahya and storms off. He chuckles at you as he sits down in his chair, “Damn, Y/N. You going to leave a nigga with no bitches.” You shrug, “She’ll be back. You know she’s delusional for your ass.” You look back at your phone.

“So, why you so impatient today?” Yahya asks you. You roll your eyes, “Again, I want to get Darnell back now since he has to lay low. He just robbed that boy, Stacy, so Darnell will be off the radar at his uncle's house. It’s an easy job. We can’t fuck up.” Yahya looks at you, “What about his uncle?” You lean back, “It’s Tuesday and his gummy bear uncle goes out, getting shitty drunk, playing bingo.”He laughs, “You always talk shit about that man uncle.” You roll your eyes, “Cause he’s mad weird.”

You two discuss the plan with no interruption at all. The plan is wonderfully crafted. Yahya couldn’t do anything but compliment your smarts. Then you two stand up together and you adjust your shorts that have found their way up your thigh. You look up Yahya. Finally, you notice that he is staring hard as hell at you.

“What, nigga?” You laugh. Yahya chuckles and walks closer to you. “You know you be looking good as hell to me.” He says. You roll your eyes, “Didn’t you just fuck your daily bop of the day?” You laugh at his desperation to fuck. “Don’t even worry about all that for real.” He pulls you close and grips your ass, “I want you now, so what is up?”

This is the hardest part about working with Yahya. The sexual fucking tension between you two. Working with a fine black man as a beautiful ass black woman. There’s never a moment where he’s not discussing how you should just let a nigga fuck. And he’s a smooth talker. Even though you say you’ll never mix pleasure with business, it’s kinda hard to focus on that with your back pinned up against a wall, listening to a man begging to fuck you, as he feels on your body.

“Yahya… I told you. I’m not mixing business and pleasure no more.” You yelp out as he pops your thigh. “You gonna make me beg? C’mon, show me that body.” He says before kissing your neck, moving up to your jawline and to your ear to whisper, “That perfect ass body.” He smirks and pulls you closer to his body, thrusting his hips slowly into you, making you feel how hard you make him.

You about to lose it. Your biggest rule is almost out the window. You always knew he was just walking around with a big dick. Hell, he couldn’t have all these random bitches with a small one. But you remember he has a roster of women, which makes it easier to bring that moral back in and push Yahya away from you.

“Nah.” You smile and laugh. He sucks his teeth, “You gon’ let me fuck eventually. You know you want me like I want you.” You shake your head, “Nope.” You lie to him.

He chuckles. Reading right through your lie. But he lets you go freely. Knowing that you’re going to give in eventually. You grab your bag and put it on your arm. You distribute the product you had and go home to relax for the rest of the day until it is time to put the plan in motion.

Around midnight, you swing by to get Yahya for the mission. He comes out of his house dressed similarly to you. You both had on all black. You drive to the abandoned parking lot that’s not that far from Darnell’s location.

You look at Yahya, “Are you ready?” He looks at you, “I should be asking you. You have chemistry with this nigga.” You raise your eyebrow, “No. Had. And the chemistry was one-sided. I loved him. He loved that I was a housewife, always gave him pussy ‘til his uncle started being creepy, and helped him do his job.”

You roll your eyes. The months you’ve been single made you realize a lot of things that were absolutely wrong with that relationship. Darnell LET his uncle say sexual things to you. He never protected you from it. Just act like it was nothing serious. The relationship was always 100/0. You never got anything in the relationship, yet you always had to please him and put up with his shit. Love just blinded you from seeing the unhealthy things of that relationship.

You two get out and creep down the alleyway, making sure to get caught. Once you get there, you two see an unfamiliar white car in the driveway.

“Thought you said he’d be home alone?” He asks you. “I mean, I thought so. That’s not his uncle's car.” You shrug and slide your foot through the opened window. “Aye, Y/N, what you doing?” He whispers to you. You just look at him, “I am going inside. Not letting this stop me.” Yahya chuckles, “You just want him gone, huh?” You look at Yahya, “Duh.”

You go inside and soon after Yahya follows you inside. The house has definitely seen better days. The house had a mildew smell. You can see in the dim kitchen that the sink was full of dirty dishes. Two trash bags were on the floor, while the one in the bin was filled to the brim. There was trash everywhere in the house. It was kind of hard to walk slowly without stepping on it.

You two creep upstairs and start hearing noises. You lean on the wall and Yahya leans next to you. You look at him and in the dark, you can see his eyes telling you to peek inside before you go in. You look inside and your skin starts to boil. This nigga is giving backshots to that bitch India. And you know it’s her because her flower-tatted ass. You turn your head to Yahya.

“It’s just my replacement.” You whisper to him. “So we good?” He asks you. You nod, “Yeah. Definitely good.”

You wait for a minute and then you burst into the room with Yahya. Darnell pulls out and lays on the bed and India covers her body up, crying begging for mercy.

“Bitch, shut the fuck up!” You say. You raise your gun to Darnell, “Hey baby. You missed me?” You give him a wicked smile.

Darnell starts stuttering your name out as you get closer to him, begging for you not to kill him, but you do anyway. India starts crying and screaming. Once she’s over the initial shock, she pushes you and tries to run out of the room. Yahya blocks her way hovers over her and points the gun at her.

“No witnesses, lil mama.” He says in a husky muffled voice. It honestly sends shivers down your spine, but once you hear the gunshot ring, you are back to reality.

You look down and see the lifeless bodies. The end of Darnell and India’s stories. You two creep out the backdoor since it’s the quickest way back to the alleyway. So many thoughts run through your mind. It feels so good to get revenge. Not just for him setting you up, but just for being a horrible boyfriend to you. You didn’t deserve all that shit.

You two slip into your car and you ride off to Yahya’s house to drop him off. It was quiet. Mainly cause you’re still in your head. On the one hand, you’re happy as hell. But on the other hand, you couldn’t help the remorseful feeling you had. You killed someone’s son, someone’s best friend, someone’s favorite person, and even though you hated his ass, someone’s nephew. And even though you didn’t care for India, you killed someone’s daughter. And not just someone’s, Robert Jackson’s daughter.

Your stomach begins to get queasy. Your hands start shaking on the wheel. You try to think about something else so you won’t be so tense while driving. You start thinking about what you will do while staying off the radar. Maybe learn a new hobby or maybe get back into writing.

At a red light, you look over at Yahya. You see he’s just been eyeing you. He wasn’t checking you out, he was trying to figure out what’s on your mind. You smile at him, hoping he can’t read that you’re starting to feel guilty.

“So what are you going to do while you keep a low profile?” You ask him. He looks at you, “Low profile? Why do I need to lay low?” You look at him, “You just killed a drug dealer’s daughter. A big drug dealer at that, Yahya.” He looks at you, “And? What does that mean to me?” You look at him, “You know he is going to send his boys on you?” He leans back in his seat, “Yeah, but who’s really going to be stupid enough to kill me?” He says, all arrogant and you roll your eyes, which makes him laugh, “Nah, all serious though. I like to walk around with a target on my chest every day. If niggas see me, they just see me. Nine times outta ten, they not gon’ do shit.”

You look at him like he’s a crazy man, “Well, I am.” You say as you resume driving. “I hate being a target. And I am definitely one now.” You sigh, “I just hate that now I have to do it by myself.” He looks at you, “I’ll spend it with you.” He starts, “Well, if you don’t mind.” You smile, “Yeah. If you don’t mind not fucking your hoes for a while.” He chuckles, “I have self-control.”

You two laugh, knowing damn well that he doesn’t have self-control. He’s a horny dog. You were curious though on why he would want to lay with you, knowing you won’t let him fuck any random women in your home. Knowing that you won’t even let him fuck you.

“So why you want to spend it with me?” You ask him. He breathes in before talking, “To protect you, let you feel safe about this, so you won’t be in your head the whole time and spooking yourself. So you won’t be alone.” He touches your shoulder.

You smile, almost shed a tear. It feels good to know someone is willing to protect you during this time. You arrive at Yahya’s house and park on the curb. You wait as he packs his things. A few minutes later, he moves his car into the garage and walks back to your car. He throws his bag in the back and gets in. You drive to your place and drive your car in your garage. He gets his bag and you two head inside.

As you get inside, you tell Yahya that you are about to hop in the shower and sleep afterward and you tell him where the guest room is. You go into your room, strip down, and head to your bathroom. You shower, making sure you get squeaky clean. After your shower, you get dressed in an oversized shirt. No bra and panties. You relax your body on your bed and close your eyes.

… … …

You couldn’t sleep. Every time you close your eyes, you see Darnell’s body. You didn’t understand. You killed people before, why is Darnell’s death fucking with you? You sigh and get out of your bed. Slowly, you walk to the guest room and lightly tap on the door. Yahya opens the door and leans on the doorframe. His tall muscular body hovers over you. He was wearing basketball shorts and a gray tank top.

“Can I come in?” You ask him. He shakes his head yes and moves out of the way for you. He lays back down and pats the bed, “Come on, lay down.” You smile and lie down next to him. He puts the blanket on you and wraps his arm around you. “It’s going to be okay, Y/N. I got you.”

As the days went by, you had a lot of fun with Yahya. You two play card games and watch movies. He even helps you learn a new hobby, drawing and painting. Yahya was still leaving to handle things at the trap house. When he comes back, you have a hot meal waiting for him.

You learn more about each other. Yahya always wanted to be an architect, but because he went to jail for armed robbery. Since he was 17, he got charged as an adult, but he got a minimum of ten years since he was young and he didn’t have much involvement in it. Eight years later, he got out early for good behavior, even though he was far from being good in jail. Since he couldn’t get a job as an architect, he turned back to what he knew. The streets.

Your dreams for your future job have always changed. You wanted to be a singer, but you didn’t like the idea of singing in front of millions of people. You wanted to be a writer, but you think your writings are ass and not tasteful for anyone, but yourself. You wanted to do hair, but you met Darnell, so then you decided to just be a basketball player’s wife. That took a turn and you became a drug dealer’s toy and followed him in the streets and did dirty jobs with him.

Yahya is at the trap house today. He told you that he was going to be back a little late. You decide to clean around the house and do some laundry. You finish that and Yahya still wasn’t here. So you go to your office and you write some ideas for your next story. Yahya still wasn’t here. You decide to cook dinner and he finally comes to the house. It’s like he knows when you’re done cooking.

“Sorry, I am late. Moni ran into some problems. Had to help her.” He walks to the kitchen and wash his hands. You look at him, examining the fact that he has blood on his shirt. You clear your throat and point to the stain. He looks at it, “Oh shit! I didn’t know that was there.” You laugh, “Well, is Moni okay?” He shakes his head, “Yeah, just shaken up. Some guys tried to rob her as she was walking out.” He takes off the blood-stained button-up shirt.

You try not to, but you replay the way he unbuttoned it. Slowly revealing his abs. He takes the shirt off, showing those muscular arms that you wish could wrap around your body. Wishing that for a few moments, you weren’t so hellbent on not mixing business with pleasure.

“Go shower, so you can eat.” You tell him. He chuckles, “Yes, ma’am. I will, mama.” He walks upstairs.

You lean on the counter. You know he meant it in a teasing way, but it still did something for you in between your thighs. He was undeniably fine. He is your type of man. He walks around with facial expressions of confidence and besides Robert, he’s the second feared man in the city, which makes you even more wetter thinking when you catch yourself thinking of him.

He comes downstairs in a white tee and grey sweats. You two fix your plates and eat at the dinner table. He compliments your cooking as usual. You try to wash the dishes, but he tells you to go sit down. You don’t argue with him. You sit down and start reading some of your works.

“What are you reading?” Yahya says a few minutes later. He sits down next to you as You close the binder quickly. “Uh… nothing.” You smile. “C’mon, tell me.” He says and you just shake your head.

He looks at you a while before grabbing the blue binder and opening it. You try to take it back, but he moves it away from you. You sigh and laugh at his childish ass. He opens it and examines it at first.

“You wrote this?” He raises his eyebrow at you. You look down, “Uh, yeah.” He chuckles, “This is nice.” He smiles at you.

He starts to read your story out loud. His husky voice was soothing and helped bring the characters together in your head. Then he gets to the sexual parts, and his voice is giving you the best eargasm, as well as bringing you close to an orgasm.

Your thighs rub against each other. Then, you feel his hand raise from your leg to your thighs. Your eyes meet his and you stare for a while before he kisses you. You didn’t even hesitate to kiss him back. He pulls you on top of him and grips your waist tightly. Then, he stops and moves you away from him.

“I'm sorry. I know you said that you're not mixing business and pleasure.” He says and looks at you. You just look at him, feeling hazy. The kiss was intoxicating. You had to do it again.

You damn near jump in his lap and kiss him. He is shocked, but he pulls your body close to his as he kisses you back. You lay back on the couch and he is in between your legs. He pins your wrists, together, and kisses your neck. He goes up your jawline and tugs your ear.

“So you going to give me that pussy now?” He whispers in your ear. He thrust himself onto you. Your eyes roll back to your, “Fuck Yahya. Yes.” You cooed out to him.

He smiles and picks you up to take you to your bedroom. So many thoughts were running through your head. You felt his dick brushing against your shorts. His dick is too big. Will he even fit? You were nervous, but you needed to feel him deep inside of you.

Your thoughts are interrupted as your back touches your dresser. Your shirt, shorts, and underwear go flying everywhere in your room. He walks back a bit and admires your body. You couldn’t help but smile and look down.

“No. Look at me.” He says. You look at him. Your smile was bright enough to white the room. “Damn, you’re so beautiful.” He walks back to you, kisses you, and lowers down to your neck. “Your body is so perfect.” His breath tickles your neck.

He massages your left breast and sucks on the right. Your body shivers and gets covered in goosebumps. He rubs your body, lowers down to kiss your stomach, and spreads your legs apart. He looks at your sticky wet mess in between your legs. He practically starts drooling over it.

You giggle and snap your fingers, “Sir, are you okay?’ He chuckles, “Yeah, yeah. My bad.” He says as he pushes your back against the mirror behind you and rubs your slit. Your body hitches up, “Oh fuck!” He lowers down and dips his tongue inside for a taste and he couldn’t get enough.

He starts eating you out and you bite your moan in. He pops your thigh. “Let me hear you, mamas.” Your mouth hangs up and you moan. He smiles and flicks your clit as he adds a finger in. You grip his head and push him deeper into your pussy. “Shit, baby. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.” His fingers curve, making you cry out.

He nibs and bites on your clit, adding another finger, and you lose your mind. You grip the sheets and look down at him as you start riding his face, feeling your body get closer to your climax. He looks up at you and pulls your body closer to him so he can devour your pussy more. Your body jerks up and you let out a sudden scream as you let go of your orgasm.

You catch your breath and look down at him, pulling him up to kiss him so you can taste yourself on his lips. He slips his tongue in your mouth and explores around. He scoops you off the dresser and lays you on your silk-covered bed without breaking the kiss. You hear his pants unzip and the ruffling of his pants and boxers going down to the floor. You feel his dick glide on your clit. He eases his tip inside you. You gasp and jerk your body.

“No, no! It’s too big.” You try to stop him. He kisses your neck, “It’s okay. It’s okay, mamas.” He wipes your tears away. “I got you.” He kisses your cheek. You breathe and try to relax as the initial stingy sensation washes over your body. He eases the rest of himself inside you and holds himself right there. “You can move.” You tell him, once you get a bit used to him.

He doesn’t move. Instead, he looks into your eyes, with a smirk, “Beg for it.” He gives you a deep slow stroke, making your eyes widen “Oh shit.” You drag the moan out of your mouth.

You knew why he wanted you to beg. Because you held out on giving him pussy for months. You’re not the type to beg, never begged in your life. But over this dick, you had to. “Yahya, please. Please fuck me.” You whimper as his strokes get slower and slower. With a cheeky smile, he drives his dick inside you at a rapid pace. This is what you wanted. This is what you need.

He pins your feet behind your head, getting deeper into your stomach. He is where you need his dick to be. Pleasure begins filling your body up. It’s too much. You push him away a bit, “Yahya, wait… it’s too much.” He pins your wrists to your ankles, putting more pressure on your stomach, “Nah, take it. You keep this wet ass pussy away from me.” He groans before slamming inside you.

You close your eyes and whine out. You wish you would have never held back from getting fucked by him if you knew he was this good at fucking. He lets your hands go and comes down tongue-kiss you. You wrap your hands around his neck. He starts going faster, hitting your spot over and over again.

You gasp and break the kiss, “Fuck! Fuck! Right there, right there.” You beg him to keep hitting that spot. “That’s what you want? You want me to make that pussy come for me.” He groans, looking down at you.

You’re a broken record, whimpering the word yes over and over. He smiles and kisses your neck. You convulse around his dick as you're getting closer to your climax again. Your body arches up as you cum. Yahya’s strokes begin getting sloppy, making a squelch sound. He floods his nut inside you. He rests his head on your neck and catches his breath.

He gets up off you and stands up to examine your exhausted body. You lift your head to look at him. He smiles and looks at you with a smirk. “If you think I can go again, you’re a madman.” You laugh and lay your head back on your bed. “Nah, I just want you to clean this dick up.” His smirk grows.

You laugh and look at him. His dick was still hard. You had to show the fuck out when giving this man head. For fucking you like that, you wanted to place him on a high throne for blessing you with good dick like that. You get on your knees and you place his dick in your mouth. You bob your head up and down.

He throws his head back, “Shit.” He grips your head and starts fucking your mouth. He goes faster, making his dick hit the back of your throat. “Shit mamas. You tryna make me cum again. I just clean it.”

You pop his dick out your mouth and spit on it to get it wet. As your saliva drips to his balls, you catch it and start sucking on his balls. Your hand starts stroking his thick shaft fast. You start tasting his precum, giggling. “Nut for me, daddy.”

You come back up and suck his dick again, faster this time. His body starts shivering as he looks down at you. “You are crazy.” He groans as his dick begins to twitch in your mouth. A second later, he starts coming into your mouth. You swallow and look at him.

He falls back on the bed and face palms. “Shit! That was amazing.” You lay on his chest, “Yes it was.” You giggle and kiss his glistening sweaty chest. “Should have let me do that sooner.” He says before kissing your forehead. You yawn, “Yeah. I definitely should have.”

You are happy you threw that rule out of the way. Because you just got the best dick your pussy has ever had. But you couldn’t help but think how it would affect your relationship and your work with Yahya or if would it affect it at all. You shrug, putting off as a problem future you would have to deal with. Besides, you’re not going to let your thoughts ruin your high from the amazing sex you just had.

You two lay in bed talking for a bit, until you hear light snores coming from Yahya. You laugh quietly, kiss his cheek, and go to sleep.

[gonnamurdersomeone]

CoD people as cats? I think so here we go!

Someone better appreciate this I literally took 3 pages from my fucking notebook to write all this shit down

Captain John “Bravo-6” Price

I think John would definitely be an Oriental cat if not that then probably a Burmese. Smart, quick on his feet and pretty loyal seems about right.

Lieutenant Simon “Ghost” Riley

I think Simon would be a Norwegian forest cat or a British Short hair.. for obvious reasons dude is a fuckin Brit through and through. I chose NFC becuase they are bigger types of cats and used to harsh climates

Sergeant Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

For Gaz I chose an Abyssinian cat, they are pretty, usually have pretty eyes (like him) and are pretty smart and playful. Very Gaz coded

Sergeant Johnny “Soap” MacTavish

Johnny boy would be a Scottish Fold or a Siamese cat. They are very vocal, love people and are just a joy to be around honestly. Plus they suffer from pretty boy syndrome so… yeah

Sergeant Gary “Roach” Sanderson

Gary my baby boy, I chose an OciCat cause of his name it’s so random? I thought him being a more exotic and weird cat would fit his aesthetic. Very pretty cats too!

General Hershel Shepherd

Fucking hell I hate this dude and for that I gave him a Sphynx cat, they are mean, bald and bossy as fuck. Sound about right for mister Shepherd no?

I want to kill him

Kate “Watcher-1” Laswell

Kate one of my favorites! She would definitely be an American Curl. Very pretty cats with a unique personality and it just fits her. That or a Bombay cat I couldn’t choose

Nikolai “Gaz fell out of the helicopter again”

Nik our lovable transportation buddy, of course he would get a Russian blue there is no need to elaborate here he would be a Russian blue. Very cool cats ngl

Farah “Kilo Actual” Karim

She is so pretty and such a girl boss istg. But I’m giving the Bengal cat or an Ural Rex very curly hair and just very funny kitties, I think it fits her

Alex “Echo 3-1” Keller (Jr Price fr)

Pretty boy gets a pretty cat!!! He gets to be a Manx cat cause of the no tail (and his one leg) nahh jokes aside very pretty kitties for a very pretty boy

Phillip “Shadow-1” Graves

I hate this dude with all my atoms but he’s tolerable compared to Shepherd.. But I gave Graved an American shorthair. One becuase he’s American and two his hairline makes me wanna cry

Vladimir Makarov

I hate you so so much for what you did in MW3… but you are a character so I’m still giving you a cat. If you were a cat my guy I think you’d be an Peterbald or a Karelian cat

Andre “Alpha 2-1” Nolan

Surprisingly not a bad character imo but he could use some more character development! I’m giving him a Korat cat or a Singapura. I wish he got more development in MW3 honestly :/

Alejandro Vargas

Alejandro! Our favorite Mexican man gotta love him and the cowboys. He’s a petty boy as well so I’m giving him a pretty chill and cool cat as well. A color point shorthair, not necessarily a *breed* per day but still he deserves a petty kitty

Rodolfo Parra

Rudy! Another cowboy we love what a gentleman <3 I’m giving him an Egyptian Mau kitty, it has spots and I think Rudy would be a spotted kitty. Very good boy

Valeria “El-Sin-Nombre” Garza

Mommy issues fr love this women. I support women rights AND wrongs 💪 she gets a Donskoy or a Savannah cat. Both wild kitties to match her wild and unpredictable personality I think it fits very well

König

Anxious King gotta love them! For obvious reasons he’s a Maine Coon cat, the biggest house cat there is. For being an absolute UNIT of a man he deserves a very loyal, pretty, and big kitty. God I just wanna smother this man

Kim “Horangi” Hong-jin

Toyger need I say more? It’s a literal house tiger, his name is fucking Tiger he gets to be the tiger damnit! 😤

Darnell “Hutch” Hutcherson

Dunno the rest of these guys very well (besides Nikto) but I’m giving Hutch a Chartreux cat. I wish the more obscure characters got more attention, no they may not be apart of the MW part but still they deserve love

Nikto

I love this man with every fucking atom of my body. My baby boy deserves the best cat in my opinion the Lykoi. Very cool, funny and amazing cats one of the best he’s just a goober I wanna pet him and keep him in my closet away from all the bad things

Mace

Mace heard some things about you here and there and decided I couldn’t leave you behind. You my friend would be an Oriental Longhair dunno why but I think it suits him

Velikan

Idk if this man is even part of the fandom? Either way I’m giving you a cat deal with it. You would be an Highlander cat if not then an Tonkinese kitty.

Keegan P Russ

Oh Keegan my dear boy, you would be a Devon Rex kitty, very smart, mischievous and overall just a joyful cat. You deserve the world my dear

Logan Walker

Ragdoll. You will get a ragdoll take it or leave or my guy. Just know I’m only adding you and everyone else because of Keegan

David “Hesh” walker

Hhhh.. hesh dude idk I’d probably give you a Havanah Brown kitty. Seems like a good fit. Unusual brown kitty for a unusual cool character

Elias T “Scarecrow” Walker

I literally know nothing about you? But I’m still giving you a cat! Uh I think possibly a Javanese cat would fit you my dude.

Alex v “Ajax” Johnson

Same with you like? I have never heard about you either but whatever. I think a Australian Mist or a Khao Manee cat would work

Alright so that’s all the CoD characters I think? I’m not sure if I missed anyone, if I did tell me and I’ll assign them in the comments or whatever.

No I’m not adding the other characters such as Diego or any other unknown Ghost team people or random background people that only have like 2 lines of dialogue or is barely even known within the CoD community.

[meltsyoutodeath]

Friday night funkin' x bnha crossover au where the fnf people were like born there and everything and. ok this post works better as a bullet list hang on:

(NOTE: anything I get fundamentally wrong is because I didn't actually get past, like, the training camp arc thing in bnha. I'm just going off the copious amounts of bnha crossovers I've been reading)

Bf's quirk is that he can pull anyone into a rap/singing battle that deals real physical damage if the opponent can't keep up. of course, the harder the song, the hardest it is for Bf himself to keep it up

Bf's quirk doesn't make a battle stop just because a rap battle began. you have to imagine a guy simultaneously fighting for their life and trying to hit the right notes to a song that started playing out of nowhere

Gf's main thing is that she starts looking like a demon whenever she feels something too strongly. That emotion can be happiness, anger, hate, love, whatever. BUT Gf can also enhance other people's quirks just by touching them

(more under the cut because it gets long)

Gf and Bf both go to UA! this is not because either of them want to be a hero. neither of them are interested whatsoever in all that. but Daddy Dearest insisted that Gf could ONLY go there because it's a prestigious school and he wants the best education for his daughter etc etc (it was totally not because it's hard getting in UA and DD thought Bf wouldn't be able to follow her there so they'd FINALLY break up)

Bf, of course, is THE boyfriend of all time, so he sweats his way through UA's entrance exams just to prove he'd do anything to be with Gf. and also as a fuck you to Daddy Dearest

They join the hero course because someone said Gf could never be a hero with such a villanous quirk and they took that as a challenge

moving on to OTHER characters: Pico is the quirkiest quirkless guy on earth. man was wanted for a school shooting at age 14 (yes I know canonically he was older during Pico's School but let me cook ok). he wasn't even responsible for the school shooting in question, but everybody just kinda decided he was because he was the one of the only survivors, so.

these days Pico works as a mercenary, but he's done enough to be seen as a villain. some even consider him a Big villain (because, you know. massive school shooting)

there are conspiracy sites that discuss what Pico's quirk is, btw. one day he made a burner account and said "I think he's quirkless" in one of those and he got banned from the website

Darnell's quirk lets him enhance pre-existing flames. So while he can't shoot fire out of his hands or anything, giving him a lighter is the same thing as giving him a flamethrower

Nene's quirk lets her copy any object she's holding, as long as she knows its composition. It's basically Yaoyorozu's but nerfed

That's how she gets her endless knives supply, and also how Pico never runs out of ammo. she makes, like, 20 magazines for him per fight

Darnell, Nene and Pico are a group who are mostly seen working together. they only try to kill each other sometimes

Fun fact abt them is that they have a combo attack where Darnell uses a spray can that's actually a bomb to distract enemies and then Nene launches a bucnh of knives that Pico redurects with gunshots as needed. this isn't easy or effective but they find it fun AND it looks really cool

One day Darnell is watching the news and something about some place being burnt down because of a villain comes up and he goes "something big burnt down,,, and not because of ME???" and at the same time Nene walks in all sad and goes "there's this new girl with some evil league or something who's stealing my knives brand :((("

so naturally they decide they HAVE to bring down the leauge of villains now. not because of the crimes or whatever but because they're stealing their brands

Pico joins them because why not. they become the team rocket of bnha

during the... training camp arc? is that what that's called? those 3 trail the League because a big open area sounds like a perfect opportunity to catch one of them alone and, thus, very killable

Pico ends up running into Bf and Gf locked in a battle against an unspecified villain and he looks like he's having trouble so Pico's like.... omg is that my ex?? I forgor he goes here. he's still kinda hot... who said that. I should totally help him out

so Pico gravely injures his enemy but gets so caught up in the friendly rap battle Bf pulls him into that he forgets to finish him off

and then Weekend 1 happens as normal except avoiding Nene and Darnell is a lot harder because they're, you know, roommates

anyway after that he starts hanging out with Bf again more. eventually Gf starts coming too and then I reveal this was SECRETLY GF X BF X PICO PROPAGANDA ALL ALONG

one day Midoryia sees them hanging out and near instantly clocks who Pico is so he runs away very comically (after Bf tells him he can't kill his classmates)

later on Midoryia can't help but ask wyat Pico's quirk is and promptly stops working when they tell him he doesn't have one

and that's all I have for now but you get my point right

[valsnonsense]

Prince Blaise Diamond

"WO-HO-HOAH!!! DIDJA SEE THAT SHIT?! Nearly broke our record on that run!!"

Parents: King Darnell and Guy Diamond

Siblings: Tiny Diamond (Elder Brother)

Age: 19

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Gay

Genre: Funk/Hip-Hop/Pop

Voice Claim: Jason Desrouleaox (Jason Derulo)

First son of King D and Guy Diamond, and heir to the throne of Funk. Wild and loud and a bit of an adrenaline junkie, Blaise may be a bit much compared to the relaxed Funk people, but he's beloved nonetheless.

On top of training to be the next King of Funk, Blaise is a excellent Moth Racer (think dragon racing from HTTYD2). Ever since he saw a racing match as a kid while his family was visiting Trollstopia, he wanted to learn how to rear and race with a moth. So for his tenth birthday, D and Guy got him a moth grub to raise as his own. He named her Stellaluna, and she grew to be one of the FASTEST moths on record. He's very proud.

When he's not practicing for races, Blaise loves to party. He's usually seen out and about the city partying on the streets, at gigs in clubs, or in big stadiums. Man cant sit still for two seconds or he will literally explode.

Speaking of music, Blaise is mainly a funk troll, but does inheret a love of hip-hop and pop from his fathers'. He loves how they can all flow together to make new types of music entirely their own. He's constantly pushing the boundaries of Funk. He also likes to try and incorporate jazz in there, to try and impress a certain pop prince~

Blaise currently resides in Vibe City alongside his family

Fun Facts!

- Blaise will shed his arm and leg fur in the spring and summer. And by shed, I mean it all falls off in one fell swoop, living him nekid like a glitter troll. Scared the SHIT outta his dads when it happened for the first time when he was baby.

- When Stellaluna began to pupate, Blaise thought she was dying. The young boy ran to Guy BAWLING his eyes out, crying that his caterpillar was gonna die. Guy spent about an hour soothing him and having to explain that she was not dying but turning to moth xD

- Since he loves moths, he and Strawberry get along super well. Whenever he and the family visit Trollstopia, he and Strawberry will ramble about bugs for hours

The child of my most questionable crack ship is here! I have issues okay

Blaise went through only one design change, and that was just a profession change really. At first, he was just an athlete, but I after seeing some art about Trolls rearing moths, I had the idea of them riding moths, like dragons from HTTYD. I mean they're certaintly small enough. So boom!

Why is he voiced by Jason Derulo? So that he and Apple can sing Spicy Margarita. No that's it that's literally the only reason

Edit: OH! Blaise's moth is based off the Indian Lily Moth! I'll be drawing him with her soon. Image below the cut xP (TW for bug)

Voice Example: Kiss The Sky (Jason Derulo)

[destinyc1020]

Late wordy confession! I’ve been thinking about the differences of the 2 press tours from Zendaya this year specifically how she interacts with the Challengers boys vs. Timmy for Dune.

Sure when Dune first came out there were people who shipped Timothee and ZendayA but that’s also because people heavily believed tz were pr for spider-man. it’s been 3 years since that. So I was definitely shocked how she acted towards Timothee during the tour. Also the fact they were hardly paired together during interviews even though this movies big push was the love story. I think she requested to not be paired alone with Timmy unless absolutely necessary. But I also think that the separation is what helped fuel a lot of their kissing questions. If they had been paired together i think they could’ve handled the topic and redirected to the actual film plot similar to how they handled those type of questions during the first press tour to the point that wasn’t the focus after a while. It felt heavier this time because they were separated and having to deny it with co-stars who had nothing to do with the situation in a movie that was pushing a love story we rarely got to hear the leads talk about together!

Then you have the separation for Jesus when they were on the carpets and press calls where Z didn’t even turn towards Timothee like he was there at all. It felt more obvious than the first tour where she at least seemed like she wanted to be there. I really would think maybe she does hate him because something happened in the months from Darnell’s party to the tour and the accounts on here are correct about her dislike for him. but there are videos of them interacting more comfortably when there aren’t cameras focused on them at various events during the press tour. So they are still friends and they’re acting like that why?

When you compare it to Challenges where Z is easily interacting with those guys and it feels more like her energy from Dune 1 I was even more confused. I was assuming that after how she was with Dune2 she would be even more stiff with the guys for this tour considering the reception of that first trailer, but she hasn’t been. there’s still a boundary in that trio but it’s more approachable.

Why at this point is Timmy the only one getting this distance? They never did anything to make people believe anything was going on with them (not line the Bones &All or Queen Charlotte leads etc). There doesn’t seem to be any bad blood between them. Like they even matched their fashion for the tour and he’s one of her only co- stars even game to attempt that. Those jumpsuits in Korea were so good for a reason. It’s her boundaries to set and I am happy that Timothee doesn’t seem like an asshole who purposely would try to make her uncomfortable in public and just engaged more with other co-stars so the distance didn’t seem weird to the gp.

i just don’t get how long she’ll push this with him specifically. Or what is really prompting her to be as far from him as possible in public. It can’t be one group of z fans who hate Tom everyone stalks on here from Twitter bffr. We of course will never truly know but looking back at it now I really don’t get it.

Whew! This was a long late Sunday Confession Anon lol 😅

Like I said earlier this month about this topic, I really don't think that the interactions btwn Z and Timmy were as "weird" as some fans are making it out to be during the Dune Part 2 press tour.

I already provided significant evidence in my post here (below) that they (the entire cast imo) seemed just fine with each other?? 😅

I've theorized however that I think Z and Timmy tend to keep their "distance" (if you can even call it that) when the cameras are rolling on them because they are very acutely aware of the insane shipping of their two huge fandoms. I personally think it makes them a bit uncomfortable.

Also, I don't think Z asked to NOT be put with Timmy during DP2 press... WTH?? 😅 You don't usually get to make those types of decisions when it's the studio who's PAYING you to promote THEIR film. I never expected WB to have them paired up with each other for all of the interviews in the first place....esp not when they have added two additional new characters to the film. Timmy & Z already did a ton of interviews together for Dune 1 press. Why would WB do that yet again??

And why would she need to request something like that in the first place? They're FRIENDS! They don't have anything against each other. Z is closer to Timmy than even Josh and Mike. She's also known him longer. You can just look at their bts filming shots.

When they're not in front of the fans with all eyes on them however, they are way more comfortable around each other because they know that their every move and interaction w/each other isn't going to be dissected to death. 🙄

Timdayas have nobody to blame but themselves lol.

Personally, I think they were just fine during the press tour (way less rigid than the first press tour imo), but I do think Z is very keenly aware of the weird shipping, and she doesn't want to add fuel to the fire.

Z doesn't hate this man...They're FRIENDS. I don't know why people think she's "dissing" Timmy when she's not. To me it seems obvious that the attention they get from fans/Timdaya shippers is a bit much, and they don't want to feed into it. But it's clear that they're buddies.

[foximator-blog]

More FNF F-Mix concepts, but for the rest of the cast in the main game, and some bonuses.

Okay, so in the last post I did I showed off BF, Gf, Dad and Mom.

Pico, Nene and Darnell are ninjas this time around as opposed to Pico being a hired gun.

Skid and Pump are wearing masks themed around the demon designs from canon and D-sides. Namely the Lemon and Cherry demons respectively.

Speaking of which my take on the demon is a freaky olive monster.

Since Senpai was already japanese inspired in the og game, F-Mix Senpai is meant to be an annoying American tourist and an insufferable rich influencer who oversells his success and fame.

Tank man is themed around big Gundam styled Mechs instead of tanks.

And then I made some designs for Carol and Hatsune Miku just for fun. ^^

Here's the first post I made on this AU:

[brine-in-my-eyes]

riddle school headcanons that I was planning to draw but postponning it until then. This one’s about Phil Eggtree

His parents’ names are Quail Eggtree (mother) and Robin Eggtree (father) (though I might change it so that all their names begin with P or Q, for fun idk)

- I think maybe that they're both pretty smart and clever themselves, in a way, Phil kind of inherited their cleverness and wits. Mainly by growing up with the mannerisms they use and that they teach him how to be independent by himself.

- Phil honestly seems pretty content just doing things by himself and he is very smart, just lazy. So his parents let him do what he wants but also make sure he's responsible while doing it. If that makes sense.

He has a dog and a hamster, as referenced in these screenshots

- The dog’s name is Darnell (a Jack Russel Terrior breed), and she loves just absolutely devouring couches man. Anything foam, she will gladly sink her canines into. That’s not healthy! so she has to go to her bad girl bed in the corner of the living room for a bit. She is scared of loud noises and hates robots. Her favorite snack is beef, and bits of cusion fluff..

- Hamster’s name is Hermit (a golden brown Syrian breed), and he’s a pretty mellow hamster. His cage is pretty big with loys of toys and climbables. the cage sits on the floor near the house entrance. He loves sunflower seeds.

Idk if it's just me but alot of people seem to forget that Phil was a pretty much a jerk to Smiley. Other than the Smiley Smudge incident, he also kinda didn't seem to do anything else other than insult her. If we're all going by the headcanon that Phil is a riased newgrounds kid, I'm willing to assume that he was probably just doing it to be edgy and thought he was really cool. Plus he likes Pico's School.

- Now whenever the riddle kids (as adults) hang out together Smiley loves to bring that conversation topic up and laugh at Phil, Phil meanwhile, dies inside

- Bonus points if Phred also likes pico school, but also likes making fun of Phil. They're all cool with it though and are more mature now

ok last headcanon... hmm....

Phil's room + house looks something like this

ermmmm don't mind the doodle at the top with the giant pot and what appears to be a ritual happening. these concept sketches are just my room designs for my Riddle Manor Script. just uh. dont worry about it.

ok thats all :}

[thisandthat-whatever]

1) I dislike Stephen Curry (he is so smug looking . Like his face gives me “too full of himself selfish bastard” vibe). therefore I don’t like Golden Warriors. I love me some LeBron though. LeBron is full of himself too but he does it so cool. LeBron is just da man in basketball. Anyway, so just based on that alone I hope Lakers defeat GSW in the playoffs and move on to the finals somehow (although even if they do, I don’t think they will win).

2) One of the channels (not all of them. Like, ESPN Latin America channel never showed Z alone . By the way NBA games are not recorded and shown only on ONE channel and everyone else just airs that. There are at least two different recordings of any NBA game, one by each team’s home city, which is why you don’t always get the exact same footage if you watch it in LA versus if you watch it in SF) that aired the game only showed Zendaya at first,but that is OBVIOUSLY not because she is an Oakland girl.

They show literally every single celeb (even D list celebs) that attend. They would not NOT show the freaking Spider-Man actor no matter if he was from London or Rome. So, the logical conclusion was that they first showed her on the big screen during the time Tom left to get food. I noticed when she looked sideways, her eye angle was towards Darnell’s seat and not the seat immediately next to her which also proves my point that it was likely during the time Tom was not in his seat. And after NBA was informed Tom was also there, they immediately posted both Tom and Zendaya again on their social media accounts because they obviously wanted to post Tom as well. So, it wasn’t because Tom was not “local enough”. 🙄

3) The arm grazing was hot. Sometimes hot is about sensuality; and it was a sensual move that was very well-done. Timothee’s lovemaking game (from what we learned based on Exhibit Lily-1.a and Exhibit Eliza-2.e) needs to learn a thing or two from Tom about how to touch a woman like a charismatic , smooth, man and not like a horny 16 year old boy. 😬

[paperbagsandwich]

Giant pork Darnell and Woof Roslyn.

Why? No clue.

[popentertainment-moviereviews]

CHALLENGERS (2024)

Starring Zendaya, Josh O'Connor, Mike Faist, Jake Jensen, Darnell Appling, Bryan Doo, Shane T Harris, Nada Despotovich, Joan Mcshane, Chris Fowler, Mary Joe Fernandez, AJ Lister, Connor Aulson, Doria Bramante, Christine Dye, James Sylva, Kenneth A. Osherow, Kevin Collins, Burgess Byrd, Jason Tong, Hudson Rivera, Noah Eisenberg and Emma Davis.

Screenplay by Justin Kuritzkes.

Directed by Luca Guadagnino.

Distributed by Amazon MGM Studios. 131 minutes. Rated R.

It’s a problem when you see a movie about a love triangle in which all of the points of that triangle are so toxically unlikeable that you tend to think that they all deserve the misery that they are causing each other.

Oh, sure, some of them are better than others. One of the guys is simply horribly needy, cut off from his feelings and passive aggressive. One of the guys is immature, untrustworthy, vain, jaded and constantly trying to steal his best friend’s girl. In the meantime the woman is a complete horror – selfish, mean, angry, manipulative, unfeeling and treats both of the guys like trash.

You never really understand why both guys seem to be so obsessed with her, other than the possible fact that she is much hotter looking than either of them.

And honestly, with the only slightly closeted homoerotic subtext which kept rearing its head between the two male leads, you tend to think their lives would have been a lot happier had they just forgotten the girl and hooked up with each other.

The real challenge in Challengers is to find a character to root for – either as lovers, or as friends, or even simply as tennis pros. Good luck with that.

Challengers looks at this threesome, flipping back and forth in time over a period of about 13 years. We watch the characters grow from horny college tennis phenoms to horny regulars on the pro circuit, all the while never growing emotionally.

The main character (so much as there is a main character) is Tashi Duncan (Zendaya), an attractive-but-jaded teen tennis phenom whose career is cut short too early by a knee injury. We meet her before she has that life-altering wound, though, when she is still full of potential as a college tennis phenom.

The dudes are Art Donaldson (Mike Faist) and Patrick Zweig (Josh O’Connor), who have been friends playing together on the circuit since they were kids. They meet up with Tashi at a teen tournament, talk her up to their room to try to get her drunk. (And, of course, the idea of seducing her lingers in the back of their minds.)

Tashi is more than willing to tease the horny, shy boys, and ends up making out with both of them on the bed – and then she slips out of the embrace and sits back and watches them making out with each other.

Tashi insists early on that she doesn’t want to be a homewrecker, but that is exactly what she becomes, metaphorically.

Over the years Tashi hooks up with both of the guys. First, she is with Patrick, but when she is injured and it becomes obvious that Art has a better career path than Patrick, she gets involved with Art, first as his trainer and eventually as his wife. But their fragile marriage (and their small child) doesn’t mean Tashi is above periodically sleeping with Patrick.

The guys' battle for Tashi is symbolized in their climactic tennis match, which is peppered in throughout the film. Art is near the top of the standings and Patrick is just barely holding on to his spot in the circuit. Art is considering retiring to become a family man (a choice which Tashi is very much against) and wants to go out on top. Patrick needs a big win in order to stay on the pro circuit. Therefore it becomes a grudge match for a pair of guys who already have a serious grudge against each other.

Challengers also does its best to turn tennis into a blood sport, which may even be true, but still it is a bit disorienting on film. The ball constantly hits the racket with a loud report like a gunshot, and on each lunge on the court the players grunt like they are being tortured. While, in fairness, there is some very spectacular tennis footage here, these runaway sound effects also have the tendency of distancing the viewer from the action.

In fairness, Challengers is an extremely well-made film, with good acting on all sides, some terrific sports footage and an evocative visual sense. I just can’t get over the fact that all three of the main characters are such jerks that it is hard to care about any of their lives, careers and their very messy love lives.

Jay S. Jacobs

Copyright ©2024 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: April 25, 2024.

[keeloves]

Rewatching Girlfriends

I am rewatching Girlfriends with my boyfriend because he has never seen it. Honestly I am having a hard time getting through it because it's full of toxicity, mean spiritedness and black women/biracial women suffering in some way shape or form and any time they come close to catching Wins the rug gets yanked out from under them. The love interests on this show are trash in someway shape or form. Some are okay but man they were just blah. Oh and all four girls are toxic. Let's start with Lynn Lynn Ann Searcy, the woman with five degrees, the most educated out of the four Girlfriend. All those degrees and she didn't want to find a job or those degrees to good use. She instead spent eight years being a bum, living off of Joan for the most part, then she lived out of Maya's mom garage with her bum boyfriend from Jamacia then lived at the house William bought and didn't get a job until she was absoutely forced too. She was a bum and slept around becasue she viewed as freedom. All of Lynn's love interests were annoying or just seemed pompus. You had Basco the bum from Jamacia, who was happy living out of Maya's mom's garage, William who agreed to be her sex partner for a little a while which he apparently was very bad at sex because Lynn rated him a four out ten. YIKES. Then there was Sivad who was celibate for five years. Fun fact the actor who played Sivad was married to Persia White aka the actress who played Lynn. Now let's talk about the way Lynn comes close to catching wins but ends up suffering. She meets her birth mom who is white, they plan to make a documentary together. Things are going well for Lynn she finally meets her birth mom they have big plans to make a documentary together then boom her mom bails and doesn't have the funds. It turns out her mom has bipolar disorder, and her white bio grandparents are racist. She finds all this out when she tracks down where her mom is.Anyway Lynn ends up making a successful documentary on the epidemic of AIDS in the black community. She could have been really great at that and worked in the film industry. No she just up and quit that, then she had music. She struggles in that as well. She had several degrees, great at music and film and she just flopped super hard. By the time she does get successful its in season 8 and it's cancelled. Lynn also was very bad at being a bus girl too and that's not a hard job at all. Now let's move on to Maya. Maya Denise Wilks, teen mom at the age of 17, and has been with her baby daddy since then. He technically cheated on her by letting a woman named Cecily feed him strawberries. Now don't go saying that it was an innocent lunch because no innocent lunch consists of a woman who is not your wife feeding you strawberries so yes Darnell cheated first. Maya ends up cheating on Darnell but before I get into that let's talk about Maya and how she was toxic. This woman barely did her job, she was either always late, because she was getting her hair done or just gossipping. Even when she was at work she spent a majority of her time gossipping or being up in Joan and William's business or she was sharing someone else's business. Joan let her get away with this crap. Now let's talk about Maya's Stalker Stan. Now I can understand why she cheated with Stan, Darnell was struggling to make ends meet, he is super insecure, he feels emasuculated by his wife and he kept holding her back.I mean Darnel yelled at Joan for buying her a watch when it was Stan and he completely acted a fool however he didn't know it was Stan who bought the watch but still that was not the time and place to do that. It just showed me how insecure he was and I completely understand why she cheated. Now let's talk about Maya's multiple love interests, starting off with Stalker Stan. He was handsome, had a great job with money and served as great emotional support. He validated her feelings, and she felt appreiciated. I can completely understand why she cheated on Darnel with Stan. No she didn't sleep with him but she made out with him. I really wish she would have confessed, and stop seeing Stan and owned her mistake but no, he is got come and stak her, be up in her house eating her food and hanging out with her husband. On top of that she gets caught by leaving an accidental message and Darnel kicking her out. He got to get away with cheating while Maya suffered hard for it. Then she had Toni's twin brother as an option, the first version of Antwone, had a promising career, he was going to med school and he was so great. Then he comes back played by Darius McCrary, and he locks himself in Maya's bathroom and sings. She also had that hot handsome baseball player. That man spoiled her, pampered her and showed her how she should be treated. Of course he wouldn't let her into this one party. Eventually her and Darnell get back together, they move into a nice new house and he gets his dream job at a Pit Crew for NASCAR. No it's not local to their new home, it's in Florida. He is getting paid well and could we leave it at that have him be happy? Nope he hates the long distance, he hates his new job and he his miserable. They try to have another which Darnel wants but he lies and says he doesn't because it's easier for him to quit the pitcrew. He confesses and when they finally get successful at being pregnant Maya has a miscarriage and takes almost a whole bottle of pills. It's like one struggle one after another. Anitonette Marie Childs Garret aks Toni Childs" poor country girl from Fresno, who had a twin brother and two sisters. She grew up with an alcholic mother and didn't come from much. She is also childhood friends with Joan until the last epiosode of season 6. Anyways, Toni studied hard, made it out of Fresno and refused to be poor. She started her own realistate business and had a "Never Going Back to Fresno Fund". Toni is smart, beautiful, driven and knows what she wants. Just to clear somethings up, I don't thnk Toni is a gold digger, she is a woman who wants financial security but of course she has like the rest of the girlfriends to struggle. She is also very stuck up, full of herself and really acted like a victim when she was in the wrong. She had Greg her poor artist boyfriend, who she loved and who loved her but it wouldn't quite work because of his life style vs her's then there was Clay the rich doctor with assets, he was handsome rich and perfect for Toni. Oh turns out that rich doctor gave her chlamydia. She gaslit Greg into thinking he had it and he didn't. Joan accidentally spilled the beans about her cheating and then she slaps Joan and tries to seduce Shawn the sex addict. Greg gets back at her by faking having sex in her appartment. Yeesh that was harsh. Then everytime Toni had a man with money something went wrong, first she meets a beautiful rich black man he has everything she wants, assets money and a good business but he is too dark for her taste. Her reasoning is that if she had a daughter with him, she would hear "You're pretty for a dark skin girl". That makes sense but its so sad. Then we hear about the time Joan called Toni a Tar Baby when they were children. Then she dates a little bit. She meets Todd and oh lord she was not good to him but they had cute bantar. He flat out lied to her about his fiances and kept the fact Greg called a seceret before the wedding because he wanted her to himself. They have a daughter Morgan. However even her pregnancy was drama Todd didn't beleive her and she acted like Joan which was desperate and begging for a man back. She couldn't even have a nice wedding because Joan was busy picking a fight with Ellis. The custody battle was a mess and it totally started because Toni missed Morgan's first check up. Some believe Toni had post partum and I agree with that assessment. During the custody battle she does a pannel for successful black women, and she meets a new woman named Tammy. Things are going great until Tammy sets her up to be car jacked and Toni gets rightfully angry, and punches that bitch. Then Toni winds up in jail which puts her in jeapordy. This is what leads to peremanantly end the friendship between Joan and Toni if you can even call it that. Yes Joan has a lot of things against her but let's recap all the things Toni did to Joan, the very first episode Toni brought Joan's ex boyfriend as her date to Joan's birthday party, she slapped Joan in Jamacia after she accidentally spilled the beans about Toni's engagement to Clay. Was the bitch slap enough nope Joan then walks in on Toni trying to seduce Shawn the sex addict. Toni told Joan's boss her business and when Joan finally cuts her off Toni tries to manipulate Joan back into friendship. Toni was given a free pass to be a bitch and I didn't care for that at all. Yet the same grace wasn't really given to Joan. However we will get to Joan later because whew lord I have a lot to say about her. Toni does get better over the seasons especially when she becomes a mom to Morgan. However, no matter how you look at it Joan's and Toni's friendship was toxic from both ends. Now let's talk about Joan. Joan Carol Clayton also small town girl from Fresno, childhood friends with Toni Childs. Joan was a successful lawyer and at a high end law firm, was the only one who had assets, as in a house a good job. She was the "mom' friend of the group, she let her friends stay at her house, such as Lynn who stayed with her for 8 years, then she let Maya stay with her when she was kicked out after she cheated on Darnell and then again when Maya and Darnell's new house was being rentovated. She loved hosting parites, having game nights at her house. She eventually decides to quit being a lawyer and open up a resturant. I have mixed emotions about it on one hand I was sad becuase she could have made a great lawyer and it just felt they wanted to give her an out. On the other hand it's understandable because you think you're doing a job you love and maybe you realize you did the job to please someone and Joan loves to throw parties so her opening up a restruant makes sense. Joan has a lot going for her but honestly she is passive aggressive, she is jealous and I think she actually gets off on being needed and having to comfort someone. She can't stand when others are happy. First she acted like an agregious classist ass snob over Maya's taste and called it ghetto. Joan then makes it right by wearing the dress. Then when things are going great for Toni and Toni's about to get married Joan becomes a mess, she leaves in the middle of the engagment speech, she picks a fight with Ellis during Toni's engagment and wedding. She can't handle the fact that Toni is getting her dream wedding. Toni gets so damn pissed that she cuts up Joans dress. Joan couldn't even tell Toni she looked great whike she was trying on wedding dresses. Joan also has a tendency to make jabs at others when things aren't her way, like when she kept throwing shade at Maya's new house or when she kept throwing shade at her party. These antics on why she can't keep a man. First she had toe sucking Charles who didn't work out because she kept pushing the man for kids and marriage. Then a year later he is ready for those things and she got mad at him. Then there was Marcus but they didn't work becuase he had girly hips which was something Joan couldn't get past, then there was sex addict Shawn, who kept giving her ulimatum of being together or moving to New York. He then comes back and says he is engaged but turns out he was not he just didn't want to be in a relationship with Joan. During this time Joan started dating Chris but he is younger, and it makes her feel self concious. While dating him Joan accidentally too ecasty thinking it was a mint. She treats Chris like crap becasue she is still hung up on Shawn. Joan was a sheer distaster in the love area, she got with a 72 year old man which probably was her best sex, she had Derek who I thouhgnt was good for her but she had the basketball player and that other dude who was a dweeb. Yet she dumps Derek and that Dweeb for the star Basketball player. She then gets shut down by the basket ball player. She treated Derek like trash, she said she loved him when she didn't and slept with him to get her promotion. Then she acted shocked when he wanted nothing to do with her and he dragged her for filth. She cheated on Ellis with his manager. He was perfect but he didn't want kids which was a deal breaker for her. Then he comes back when she breaks up with Aarron momentarily. Now let's talk about Aarron, he is handsome he is a teacher but he lives in a small worn down apartment with one bathroom. I was so disappointed in the fact Aarron was poor. The first episode of season 8 was Joan even throwing it in his face that he doesn't make as she puts "Head of the household money" but Joan can't just can't let things go. Joan is so used to walking all over the men she dates and Aarron is the one man who refuses to let Joan walk all over him. Joan is probably equally as toxic as Toni in comparison hell season 6 she got so full of herself that she kept blowing off her friends in their time of need which given what we have seen prior seasons I can understand why. However, her missing Toni's hearing becasue she was busy getting wasted was inexusable but the things Toni has done to Joan I can understand why Joan would miss it but still ouch. The custody hearing was the thing that broke the cammel's back. Even the black women who were reccuring or one off characters have to suffer in some way. Yvonne, gorgeous cop woman, motivated driven and smart, her entire relationship with William was her suffering and losing herself. She got shot, William then pressures her to quit her job. He hulimates her with his mom and to make matters worse he hires Mrs. Dabney (Don't know the actresses name) to be his pretend mom. They wanted us to believe that light bright mixed looking woman gave birth to that full on black man? Yvonne was right to leave William's ass at the alter. Then there was Monica, starts off a snobby rich woman, her mom is a total bitch, cuts her off financially and her dad has late stages of dementia. Alicia and Ray the black couple that Maya and Darnel meet at Chile's and Maya suspects Alicia is being abused. People don't believe her until they hear for themselves. Turns out Alicia was being abused by her husband Ray. Now let's talk about William. Prior to Alisha, and Monica there was Kimberly Elise's character who was Joan's college friend. She screwed around with Joan's boyfriends and contracted AIDS she showed up for two episodes and was in Lynn's documentary and then she died from the complication from AIDs shortly after. William is considered the fifth girlfriend of the group and a fan favorite of many. He is a succesful lawyer at a high end law firm, has great assets and has the set up to be a good husband. However, his humor is dated, and he has "Nice Guy Syndrome" he thinks he is entitled to sex just because he has been nice to the girls which is why he had no problem having sex with Lynn. He treated Yvonne like trash, he wouldn't introduce her to his mother, he refused to set a date for the wedding,he didn't consult her about buying the house, yes she wanted it but I know women personally who didn't like a house their husband bought prior to them being engaged just simply because they didn't have a say in the house. He forced her to quit her job. When he does introduce her to his mom that woman is an actress he hired to play his mom. WTF. He treated Monica like crap too now granted it Monica was a bit manipulative but he broke her heart twice and did anything to win her back and he still treated her like trash. I mean his speech at his and Monica's wedding I probably would have left his ass too. William is an okay character to me but my boyfriend hates him. I didn't like Darnell but I did after him and Maya got back together. Overall that is my think piece on Girlfriends and I think a few changes could be made or maybe a reboot that is simular but take out the awful humor or more so dated humor.

[disappointingyet]

Fallen Angel

Director Otto Preminger Stars Alice Faye, Dana Andrews, Linda Darnell USA 1946 Language English 1hr 38mins Black & white 

Well-textured small-town noir

It’s late night on a long-distance bus up the California coast. In a nowhere town called Walton, the driver bounces a passenger who doesn’t have the fare to get to San Francisco but was hoping to stay unnoticed. 

This is Eric (Dana Andrews), and it’s soon clear he’s a grifter. He fetches up at a small diner where the owner and the regulars are worried about the waitress, who has gone missing. When she does turn up, it seems that their concern isn’t purely innocent as Stella (Linda Darnell) is, as they used to say, a knockout and a little too much for Walton. Eric falls just as hard as the rest. Pretty soon he’s trying to figure out out how to hustle up enough cash to make him a serious contender for her attention…

And that’s as far as I want to describe the plot, even though we haven’t yet introduced top-billed Alice Faye, who plays June. 

While there is one ingredient in the story that felt obvious pretty early, the rest surprised me. As I have written before, there’s a game you can play with classic film noirs of guessing what – considering the production code – they will let the characters get away with. This one had me stumped. 

The year before, Andrews had starred in Laura, a great film directed, like this one, by Otto Preminger. In Laura, he plays a tough detective investigating a murder in fashionable society, sometimes feeling he’s bossing these fops around, at others a bit out of his depth. 

Fallen Angel has him in a very different situation, as a man with no power living on his wits. I never think, ‘Ah, I’m looking forward to seeing what Dana Andrews does in this movie’, but he was the male lead in a bunch of excellent noirs. He looked like he could take a punch, land a punch and has a rough charm. He’s clearly not on a level with Bogart or Robert Mitchum or Robert Ryan, but I guess he fits alongside Alan Ladd and above, say, Victor Mature. Preminger certainly seems to have valued him – this is one of four they made together but he’s also in Fritz Lang, Elia Kazan and Howard Hawks movies.

One thing I found interesting here is the portrayal of the travelling psychic who Eric teams up with briefly. The movies, by and large, want to believe in the supernatural (and magic, and aliens). But here the ‘psychic’, in the manly safe space of the diner, is happy to discuss the tools of the con. 

Fallen Angel is a film that deftly uses elements that could in other hands be clanging: the contrast between seedy waterfront and prissy suburbs (and the women from these places), the sense that the big city is geographically so near yet still unreachable…

I like a lot of the films Preminger made in the 1950s and ‘60s, but they got very, very, very long. Under the constraints of the ‘40s, he showed he could tell a full story in an admirable 100 minutes. And that’s a great thing.

[princesshillaryellaworld25]

Purity Sayori

Gender: Female

Age: 21

Sexuality: Lesbian/ Pansexual

Species: Pure Angel

Likes: Reading, hanging out in the palace garden, singing, animals,Healing people

Dislikes: People getting hurt, being screamed at, Bullying, people thinking she’s different

Parents: Mother( unknown name, deceased), Father( The Big Angel Man), Purity Monika( Girlfriend, soon to be fiancée)

Hometown: Heaven( Purity Verse)

Her Relationships:

(Purity Funkin Au):

Purity Boyfriend/Halos: Friend. He let her hangout in the palace garden everyday

Purity Girlfriend/ Pauline: Friend

Purity Pico: Unsure. He didn’t know Purity Boyfriend let her in the garden so he thought she was trespassing

Purity Nene: Best friend

Purity Darnell: Friend

Purity Cassandra: Friend

Purity Monika: Girlfriend/ Soon to be fiancée

Purity Natsuki: Friend/ Future sister in law

Purity Yuri: Friend

Purity Senpai: Enemy. He treats her like a slave and was against hers and Purity Monika’s relationship

Purity Sky: Best friend

Purity PonyCentral: Friend

Purity Skyblue: Best friend

Purity Sarvente: Motherly figure

Head Angel Taki: Teacher

Succubus Sky: Scared of

Purity Pollyanna: Best friend

Other relationships:

Monika: Friend

Sayori: Sister figure

Natsuki: Friend

Yuri: Friend

MC: Unknown

Senpai: Hates. he just reminds her of Purity Senpai

Boyfriend: Friend

Girlfriend: Best friend

Pico: Unknown

Benjamin/ Soft Boyfriend: Friend

Soft Pico: Best friend

Grace fairest: Friend

Soft PonyCentral: Best friend

Carol: Mentor

Sky: Unknown

Sick Monika: Friend

Sick Sayori: Unknown

Sick Natsuki: Unknown

Sick Yuri: Friend

Sick MC: Unknown

Sick Senpai: Same reason as Senpai

Naughty Monika: Unknown

Naughty Sayori: Friend

Naughty Natsuki: Frienemy

Naughty Yuri: Scared of

Drug Monika: Ok with

Drug Sayori: Friend

Drug Natsuki: Friend

Drug Yuri: Friend

Sick Boyfriend: Best friend. He was the one who told her that Purity Monika likes her

Drugfriend: Best friend

Sick PonyCentral: Best friend. She felt bad about her because she was bullied by Purity Senpai

Nathan Files: Ok with

Naughty PonyCentral: Friend

PonyCentral: Best friend

Yokari: Ok with

Nan Pengyou: Friend

Dave/ D side Sick Boyfriend: Friend

Gregory/ GHB Boyfriend: Best friend

Beth/ GHB Girlfriend: Best friend

Sick GF: Unknown

Penelope/ Bobsponge GF: Best friend

Rufus: Babysitter

Baxter Wow: Friend

Gabriella/ Naughty Girlfriend: Mixed feelings with

Dee Dee/ Cave Boyfriend: Friend

Friendboy: Best friend

Friendgirl: Best friend

Jeremiah/ Bro friend: Friend

Jessica/ Gurl friend: Best friend

Josephine/ Cave GF: Unknown

Grayson/ Bio frendi: Friend

Stella/ Spingebill Girlfriend: Best friend

Jaxon/ Anime BF: Friend

Freund XML: Friend

Freundin XML: Friend. Taught her how to defend herself

@pony-central Can you make Purity Monika confessing her feelings to Purity Sayori? If you want to

[lilbreck]

ST:TOS 101- The Man Trap

Here’s the thing, if we’re not supposed to ship Kirk with McCoy and Spock, then they shouldn’t have done so many soft gaze/smolder close-ups of Shatner when he was looking at either men. I don’t remember that happening a lot with women. I guess we’ll see as the rewatch continues.

Either way, let us talk about the episode where McCoy brings the boys around to meet an old flame, and it does not go to plan. And I will be sneaking in a few of my old graphics, just because.

I’m showing this first shot just because I like to see Uhura up front occasionally as well as seeing Spock in the captain’s chair. Yes, I will add in a shippy cap later for those of you who ship it. The second shot is to show that there are some changes from The Cage, and one of them is that they upgraded their big screen TV.

During the rewatch, one of the funny moments is when my daughter glanced at the screen and was convinced that Starfleet was too cheap to get pants that fit. It took me too long to figure out where she was getting that idea.

In case you can’t see where she got the idea, she thought the phasers were pulling down the waistbands of Kirk and Darnell’s pants. I had to tell her that those were sash/holsters and not actually their midriffs showing.

My daughter felt the need to point out that these were not flowers, instead they were a sprig of wheat. But I do like that we get full on McKirk flirting. Yes, I will be spending this post talking about this particular ship. I cannot help it. It colors everything I see in this episode. For example:

McCoy sees Nancy as she was when he last saw her: 10 years younger than she should be. Darnell sees some random woman from a pleasure planet (and is very rude and disrespectful about how he announces it). Meanwhile, what does Kirk see?

He sees Nancy looking probably about the age she should be. Now, this could mean Kirk is attracted to distinguished looking women with greying hair… or he just really wants reassurance that McCoy isn’t going to leave him for someone younger and prettier. You can guess which one I choose to believe… though I wouldn’t argue against that other one either.

I will not be posting screencaps of it, but I am still disgusted that Kirk just reached into the dead man’s mouth. Apparently, in the future, no one knows better than to go around poking and proding dead bodies with their bare hands. I’ll ignore the question of how the fuck he knew there would be something in there given that he wasn’t shown to be looking at all, he just honed directly onto that poor guys mouth. I will also ignore how obvious it was that the actor was opening his mouth wider.

Side note: I’m impressed with how commited they are to making sure everyone in the outdoor scenes looks like they’re fresh out of a sauna except, it seems, for “Nancy.” I’m wondering if that’s just because it’s an actress, or because the character is a freaking salt vampire. My daughter said “both.”

One of these is strictly for the Spock/Uhura shippers, while the other is for me because both drama and damn but Nichelle is stunning in every scene:

When McCoy finally figures out that Darnell died from a sudden loss of salt, the follow scene occurs that I love:

I love it both because of how flirty Kirk gets with McCoy as well as the faces McCoy makes and the way he says “error.” Also, poor Spock stuck in the corner forced to watch as these two idiots flirt with each other next to a dead body. You know, I think I need to figure out the coloring I used on this set because I think I like it better.

Yes, this is actual dialog from the show. It makes sense in context, but still… Also, this next one is just for me:

This is the bit that really bothers my daughter:

Not only does Rand grab a piece of celery and take a bite, she also just puts it back and carries on like it came that way. Is Sulu just supposed to be eating after her? Are they really that close? While I don’t love that they had Rand being ogled earlier in this scene, or the fact that she’s essentially a glorified go-fer (my daughter isn’t happy about that either), I do enjoy this scene. Only half the reason is because that plant is just a freaking person wearing a decorated glove.

I just needed to put these together to ask… why does the salt vampire have to come across as a bit creepy? I get that it’s just biting its knuckle… but still, it’s screaming “I shouldn’t be trusted alone with anyone.”

Yes, I figured out what coloring I used, or, more specifically, what coloring I skipped. I could go back and redo all the caps, but I’m too lazy for that. I will redo this one for the Spock/Uhura shippers, though:

This set is for me and any other McCoy/Kirk shippers:

Apparently, the salt vampire isn’t just in it for the salt. It needs that lurve.

You need to understand, one of the things this show is loved for is the ridiculous physical aspects. What do I mean by that? Why, the odd version of zigzag running that Kirk does. It wouldn’t actually keep him from getting shot, but it is amusing to watch how his lower half moves much more than his upper half. Also, I just really like how this set makes it look like Spock is trying to take Kirk alive if you don’t have the context.

Obviously more happens in this episode, but there are two things that I think actually matter:

I get that Kirk is supposed to be frozen/hypnotized, but the salt vamp is moving extremely slow. It adds up to make it look like they’re competing for most campy actor in scene award. The second cap… It’s hilarious because, not only is it very obvious that neither actor makes contact with the other, but it also looks like Spock is holding an invisible bat.

End of episode tallies (details by daughter)

UNPROFESSIONAL BEHAVIOR: 04 (Darnell’s unnecessary comment about the pleasure planet, Uhura overtly flirting with Spock, Rand stealing a singular bite of Sulu’s lunch, Starfleet crew overtly ogling Rand. The salt vampire, not being Starfleet, is exempt from this counter.)

Starfleet Are Cheapskates: 01 (McCoy has no blanket :()

Reasons Why Enterprise Needs a Counselor: 01 (McCoy had to kill a creature that looked like a woman he cares for)

Early Episode Weirdness: 01 (Spock claims Vulcan has no moon)

Final thoughts:

Me: It's got enough cheese to keep me happy with enough McKirk flirting to keep me coming back for more.

Daughter: It's a much better introduction to the series than The Cage. It's also very cheesy in a fun way.