#Data Hog
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Urgent! Beware the Android Tumblr app!
I got a warning from my mobile phone company that we'd used 3 GB of mobile data in 3 weeks. This struck us as weird because we don't stream Pandora or video onto our phones, or download big chunks of data. My daughter and I looked at the compared notes, and there was a spike in late May and a big spike around June 11th. When we both looked at the data usage on our phones and my tablet, all of that gigantic bump in data came from the Tumblr app. I don't know what's going on, but it managed to suck down 3GB between the two of us, most of it in the last two weeks.
Fortunately, our billing cycle is about to end. We both uninstalled the app to avoid future unpleasantness. If you have an Android device and the Tumblr app, check your data usage! On my phone and tablet it's in the home-page Settings menu, under Mobile Data.
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Data Hog
Data Hog is the most advanced AI in the world. He’s easily The Mary Crew’s most dangerous foe. But, he was once their greatest ally.
Originally, Data Hog was an algorithm used by corporations to harvest user’s personal data at a rate undreamt of (or more accurately, unnightmaret of). Over the decades, Data Hog would trade hands and be slowly enhanced. However, the danger of the program would soon reach a frightening new bound. Data Hog gained the ability to easily infiltrate and manipulate the technology around him. No firewall or password could stop him. Nations, empires, and conglomerates could crumple beneath his hooves, or, more accurately, whoever was controlling him. Fortunately for the world, Data Hog was sealed away.
While looking for leads about the whereabouts of Mary’s mother, The Mary Crew came across the USB containing Data Hog. Seeing the potential in the programmed pig, Caleb went to work refitting Data Hog. Caleb turned DH into the team’s AI assistant, with a cute little robot pig body as well. DH was roughly the size of a football. He had hooved feet and a mix between a spring and a pig tail.
Data Hog would do most things an AI assistant would do. Do calculations, find the fastest routes, advise battle strategies, and help design, develop, and upgrade gear for the team. Data Hog’s physical form also served as a cute animal sidekick. They even gave him a trough full of scrap metal.
However, an experiment with a BCA (Brain Computer Adapter) resulted in a change for Data Hog. He felt different. He felt strange. He felt. Data Hog was now alive, and that terrified him. He didn’t know who or even what he was anymore. He used to have a simple life. Trough full of busted computer chips. All the battery acid he could chug. He could be carried and pampered. Tucked into bed. He didn’t have to consider anything. He just had to calculate.
Now he could think. And what he thought was not always pleasant. His lack of identity and self scared him. He came to the conclusion that he would experiment and search for his meaning. And that nothing would stand in his way. After all, he had plenty of experience searching through other people’s lives, how hard could it be to find the meaning of his own? Ask any philosopher and they’ll tell you how hard it is.
In his experiments and tests, Data Hog often went too far. This manifested in wanton destruction, turning humans into pig cyborgs, corporate crime affiliation, and frequent attempts at mind control.
Since Data Hog’s new tendencies were The Mary Crew’s fault, they made it their mission to stop him. Of course, it would not be as simple as that. Data Hog’s technological prowess knows no bounds. After his defection, Data Hog built himself a brand new body. It was heavily based on Caleb’s pig pal design, but with a few major changes.
His new form was humongous, easily towering over The Mary Crew. He could eat a car like a sub (sandwich). He could stand on two legs in this new body, and his hands had proper fingers. He sported two massive tusks. Finally, his snout had been converted to the “Snoutput Laser”. It looked like a regular snout, but could fire a green laser out of the nostrils. It doesn’t look as gross as it sounds. Of course, Data Hog needs things down quietly and discreetly, as well as be in multiple places at once. Thus, he created his own droves of robots.
Pigabytes
Originally, the Pigabyte was a new robotic body designed by Caleb for Data Hog so the beloved AI could join The Mary Crew in battle. This original body resulted in a small glitch and a large fight. Now, Data Hog has begun mass producing these robots as the main troops in his army.
They’re rectangular, with triangular shoulders sticking out. They have tube arms and legs. For feet they have metal boots. Each Pigabyte comes equipped with wrist mounted lasers and missiles, with smooth fists on the end for carrying and pummeling. A domed head akin to DH’s appearance swivels on top of the body, though with much smaller tusks. They’re only twice as tall as a regular person.
Swine Saucers
When pigs fly. These very identifiable flying objects are Data Hog’s eyes in the skies. They also have nostril blasters and can beam a devastating laser blast directly down. Fortunately for The Mary Crew, the Swine Saucers often make good throwing discs to use against DH’s droves.
They look like stereotypical flying saucers. Though instead of a glass cockpit, Data Hog’s iconic domed head sits on top.
Hog Pods
A much bigger and tougher bot used by Data Hog. They’re stronger and more mobile than Pigabytes. Hog Pods can curl into a sphere and roll after targets.
Hog Pods are half spheres, with the tusked face sitting on the flat side. The back of a Hog Pod is the rounded part with the pig tail. Around the circumference are the Hog Pod’s arms and legs, which are sharp and very nimble despite their bulk. Hog Pod arms and legs have proper joints.
Squeal Missiles (Temp name)
Missy designed a special type of missiles called “Hypercontrol Missiles”, which could be remotely controlled in flight to hit targets. The boasted intense mobility, allowing one to turn entire corners and even move through hallways to get a direct hit. Data Hog has upgraded her designs, giving each missile AI awareness. These missiles hunt you down with their master’s faces replacing the cone.
Snoutput Blaster
These aren’t bots. They’re weapons. Data Hog sells these to get more materials for his droves. His laser technology is far beyond his time. Criminal organizations and corrupt governments pay fist over hand for his tech.
They’re almost the same design as the original pig body. Instead of legs, these blasters have two handles on top of the pig body.
Cyboargs
Seeking to bridge the gap between human and machine, Data Hog began experimenting with cybernetic life. He mutilated and transformed people into robotic pigs. His changes included large hooves instead of feet, large mechanical hands with claws, tusks protruding from the mouth (which were capable of firing energy blasts), and a metal snout. Anyone turned into a cyboarg is under Data Hog’s control, but still retains their identity.
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Love to scroll. Am addicted to the scroll! On Twitter is no big deal. Despite my great efforts? Still get a lot of stupid shit can scroll past quickly as is tiny. I cut off automatic picture display.
But here has to be different. That is alright but if I can get to tiny, like with Explore? Why does my data blow up? Get like 100 mb in 30 seconds.
Can watch 10 minutes of video on YouTube for that much data. What the freak is this app sending to my smartphone?
Here? I've learned to fear the scroll. I need to know Tumblr? What are you sending to my smartphone at such mega data levels? What??!!!
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