#tired of presenting posters on my research

[thelasttime]

have to present a poster this week, attend a conference next week, and then present a poster AGAIN in three weeks AND THEN TAKE THE MCAT h e l p

[drdemonprince]

Hi Devon,

I'm a recent grad planning to apply to psych PhD programs in the fall with the plan to pursue a career academia (despite how much I know it'll suck I've thought long and hard about it and truly don't think I would be as fulfilled doing anything else). My research experience has been in cognitive development and I keep on being drawn to questions about autism. I am Autistic myself and pretty much think the way we have historically thought about cognitive abilities in autism is garbage. I want to pursue my questions but am honestly terrified about trying to fight my way through the current status quo in autism research.

You're one of very few people I know of in the realm of academia with views on autism that I actually agree with and respect, so I would love your thoughts. Is there hope for actually Autistic individuals pursuing research into autism? Are there any researchers who you've seen building community with Autistic people and listening to Autistic voices? Do you have any advice for surviving in the field as an Autistic person?

Anything you can say to these questions would be much appreciated, thank you!

I'm the type to be brutally honest rather than uplifting and encouraging, so you know, take that into account when adjusting for the skew of my answers.

Any time a person reaches out to me seeking advice on pursuing a graduate degree in psychology of any kind, I advise them against it for the most part. The field desperately needs more research conducted by Autistic people, for Autistic people (and other neurodivergent groups) but I have never known a graduate program to be anything but extremely abusive, exploitative, ableist, and ill-suited to preparing a graduate student today for the reality of academic life as it now is. These mfers are playing by a rulebook that was tired in the 1980s and its downright detached from reality today. My graduate experience was so traumatic and disillusioning that I chose to abandon academic research or any hope of having a tenure track career altogether. Everyone that I know was either completely abused and traumatized by their advisor, or pod personed by them and transformed into exactly the kind of passive aggressive liberal manipulative ghoul that had once mistreated them. Graduate study ravaged my health and my self-concept.

Is there hope for actually Autistic individuals pursuing research into Autism? Well, there is a growing body of research by us and for us. Journals like Autism in Adulthood do give me hope, and help nourish me intellectually and improve my work.

Are there any researchers whom I've seen building community with Autistic people and listening to Autistic voices? All the ones that I've seen actually operating in practice use methods of communication and workflows that are profoundly inaccessible and harmful to us, even if they are incredibly well intentioned and open to the idea of neurodiversity. There is a lot of decent research coming out these days finally, but I don't know how all of that sausage gets made.

Do I have any advice for surviving in the field as an Autistic person? Make sure you have a very robust support system that exists completely independently from academia. Make sure you have a complete and rich life that has nothing to do with academics and do not give up even a SHRED of it, even if it means accomplishing less and taking more time while you are in school. Have hobbies, friends and loved ones you see daily, a spiritual or physical practice that helps you offload stress, vacations or little adventures within your community that renew you, and work that is applied and grounded rather than just basic/theoretical research. (especially needed if you're in cognitive psych land. shit gets so fuckin abstact and divorced from reality).

Read a lot of fiction or practice some art or do something creative that has nothing to do with your graduate studies. Do not sign up for meaningless committees. Poster presentations do not matter and don't help your CV much at all. Most committees don't either. Read the book The Professor Is In and the blog that goes along with it religiously. Do not trust your advisor. Do not expect your dissertation to be perfect and do not make it your most ambitious project, focus on making it something you can get done quickly that is just "good enough." Cultivate skills that will be useful outside of academia. Do not assume you will ever get an academic job. Read the statistics on how many PhDs there are relative to how many professorships. Speak to people who work outside of academia who have the credentials you are getting. Know how to market yourself and get a job outside of academia if you have to -- consulting especially may be a good fit if you are Autistic and not suited for a 9 to 5 in an office.

Grill any potential advisor at any program you are considered for, hard. if they are defensive being asked questions about their working style, their leadership style, their former students, etc, that means they do not like ever being challenged and that is a red flag. Ask to speak to *FORMER* students. Not current ones. Current ones will not feel safe being honest. Ask for job placement data for graduates of their lab. Look up reviews. Do not pay for graduate school, only apply to fully funded programs otherwise they are scamming you. Remember you can leave at any time. good luck.

[alexistudies]

wednesday, march 20th 2024

working on planes has become my new usual with all this conference/networking travel. i'm glad i'm doing a lot of this traveling now during my first year though, because next year, i really want to focus on my own research project + fellowship writing!

currently out of town for another conference and my airbnb is super nice. today, i finished some manuscript edits so it should be ready for submission to a journal and worked on my poster for my presentation in April!

i'm tired but excited for the conference opening session in a couple hours.

[altherei]

A Mysterious Benefactor

Long were the days, and longer the nights.

Planning a gala was no small undertaking, all the while trying to run the Reprieve, do her own research projects, and pretend that there weren’t persistent personal issues knocking at the door of her mind. It was tiring, even if most of it was ultimately exciting work. She missed her research projects- maybe someday she’d have time to return to them- revisit Tempest Keep or any of the other long-forgotten relics of ages best forgotten. Surely there was more to discover, right?

Another such long evening of planning and putting up promotional posters had left her yearning for a good night’s rest. Tucking the remainder of her posters and flyers in her satchel, she turned to leave the Court of the Sun- by way of the Exchange, of course. Even if it was proclaimed to be safer these days, she didn’t trust walking Murder Row alone. If it was so safe, why couldn’t they change the name of it?

Her walk led her through busy streets, ears flicking to catch the occasional bits and pieces of conversation or gossip- this noble betraying the fidelity of this lady; that guard unduly roughing up some ne’er-do-well for looking at him wrong; all ultimately trivial, yet somehow interesting. A couple here or there enjoying the lovely eternal spring weather, sharing loving gazes and hushed, shy smiles- she did her best to actively look away and not hear whatever conversations they had. It wasn’t a reminder she needed or wanted right now.

Yet as she walked, a shiver began to slowly creep its way up her spine.. the sort of sensation only acquired when someone is following. Altherei had never been a paranoid sort, despite often ignoring her instincts and better judgment.

She let it linger, that feeling, and continued to walk into the Walk of Elders, not daring to look over her shoulder- not yet. Finally, as she came to the curve in the road by the guild master’s shop, she chanced a casual- or what she thought of as such- look over her shoulder and around the city, as though simply fancying its architecture.

Briefly, she caught his gaze, and it confirmed her suspicion. An elven man much older than she met her white-blue gaze with his blazing fel green, and he offered that classic polite smile that silently asked she wait for him just a moment.

Who is he..? Why is he following me? Did I drop something? Her mind began to pick up the pace on questions, despite her standing still and waiting for him. Something in the far corners of her psyche tried to raise red flags, but she could find no logical ground for them.

The man approached, and offered a polite bow at the waist. His hair was an ashen blonde- though clearly more ash now with age. His face was marked with the wrinkles of time, and his eyes betrayed a long life knowing much- and experiencing much, not all of it kind. Nonetheless, he was well-dressed and offered her a polite smile, almost grandfatherly in its warmth.

“Good evening- Miss Altherei, yes?” He asked, his voice deep but slightly graveled from age.

“.. That’s correct… may I help you with something?” She inquired, trying to mask her confusion and mild suspicion.

To anyone else, she may have succeeded, but he knew. He could see every insecurity radiating off her: fear and loneliness and mistrust and doubt and more, all flicking about in her aura where she thought they hid behind magic and well-constructed emotional walls. The Shadow saw it all.

Nonetheless, he played along. “I’m sorry if I startled you- you seemed busy, and I didn’t wish to interrupt. My name is Ilvisar- Ilvisar Dae’menel,” He extended a weathered hand, a few signet rings present across his fingers.

Altherei shifted the satchel across her shoulders and extended her own hand, giving a firm but polite handshake. “Nice to meet you, Ilvisar.”

He withdrew his hand. “I suppose I should get to the point, lest you think me some bizarre stalker or wayward fool,” He laughed softly. “I’ve been following your work for some time, actually.”

“.. My work?”

“Yes, in astromancy. Astronomy, too, but I’ve taken a particular interest in what you’ve been doing in trying to revive and restore Thalassian astromancy.” He nodded.

Her ears perked slightly, and inwardly, Ilvisar smirked. Excellent. So she was still chasing that comet tail.

“Is that so? I’m sorry that I don’t have much to offer- there’s been very little progress.. or time for progress or research- since I released the first anthology some years back.” She admitted, slightly sheepish.

Ilvisar immediately shook his head, tutting slightly. “Oh, no, no- you’re a busy woman. I’ve heard of the Refuge, the Outreach- and obviously, seen the posters for your upcoming gala with this Court of Eternity. You’ve had no shortage of things taking up your time- but that is also precisely why I hoped to reach out to you.”

Altherei tilted her head curiously, saying nothing.

Ilvisar continued. “You see, being my age.. I remember those days quite a bit more thoroughly than I suspect you do,” He remarked with a good-natured smirk, indicating a bit of jest. “And though I have now seen the light and paid my dues, I- like many- served our wayward prince once upon a time.”

“I see..”

“Point being, Miss Darkwind.. your research is a good starting point, but it has barely scratched the surface. I have spent time in the places you’ve been, and I know there is much more that was not discovered, much less looted. There is information to be found that you could scarcely dream of,” He smirked proudly.

Altherei seemed quite interested, but eventually gave a soft sigh and a half shrug. “I imagine that’s true, but it’s difficult enough as is to get permits from the government to traverse those ruins- I very much doubt they’d grant me permission to traverse beyond what they’d already allowed me.”

Ilvisar raised a finger in brief protest, “Ah, but Miss Darkwind, that is where I can be of great help to you, if you’d permit it.” She didn’t stop him, so he continued. “I have connections- but greater than that, Altherei, I have knowledge. And I am quite confident I could get you- and any who would wish to travel with you- the access you need to these places.”

“That would certainly be a very generous offer, but I don’t know that I have anything I can offer you in return. Certainly, financially I don’t –”

He cut her off, shaking his head and tutting once more. “Oh, no, no. I want none of that from you. I am pleased enough to see the younger generations take an interest in something I grew up around. My only stipulation is you keep be abreast of your findings. If there is anything you discover that you cannot make sense of, or you’re not sure of, I just ask you bring it to me; I will be more than happy to lend clarification and help you expand your knowledge of this subject.”

Altherei’s brows furrowed. A man come out of nowhere, claiming extensive knowledge of the very thing she’d taken an interest in, wanting to give her essentially free access to more hidden places where deeper knowledge could be found.. and only wanting to know what she found?

“It seems too good to be true, I know,” He remarked, and Altherei quietly chided herself. She must have let her expression slip just enough- she hadn’t. But he knew all the same.

“But I assure you, it’s no trick and no ploy. Financially, I really need nothing- nor do I want anything. What I do want is to see this piece of history restored so any who are interested in it may learn from it. That is far more precious to me than coin. Take your time with it, as well- as I said, I know you are busy. I do not expect you to drop all your obligations just for this. But as time allows… well.” He chuckled.

“What say you, Miss Altherei- have we a deal?”

Something in her kept trying to raise those red flags. Some small shred of instinct- but her curiosity, ever an easy beast to feed, was far too tempted. She wouldn’t go alone, certainly not. And what she would find.. well, perhaps it’d help her in other areas, too.

Confidently, she nodded and offered a small smile. “A deal, Ilvisar.”

What was the worst that could happen?

((OOC Note: This is an arc that'll take place both in stories and with in-game events. I'd love to get folks involved who might be interested, so if it's something that piques your interest lmk!))

[teddypines]

Cat goes to school

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Sumary: Just some wholesome stuff and a bit of angst (if you can even call it that) of a day in the life of Cat and Peter going to school together.

Note: it's a bit more slice of lifey than i thought it would be, hope you enjoy it. Art/picture is from Google, credits go to whoever made it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter had worked on this project for what felt like months, yet it had only been 4 weeks. He wanted to get a good grade, but most of all he wanted to show his class what an amazing cat Cat was. Peter had spent days doing research on cat behavior and hours with Cat and either Loki, Wanda or Vision. He was going to do this project perfectly, if only Cat would get into the damn travel basket. Steve and Bucky were helping him since they had the same struggle a little while ago. 

“Come on Cat, you know the travel basket, you know it doesn’t harm you” Steve spoke to Cat as Bucky held her up in his arms. Cat was stuck to Bucky’s shirt and refused to let go of him. Of course she knew that travel basket was harmless, but she just didn’t want to be trapped in it, at least that is how it felt for her. Peter looked at both men and Cat with worry. “Maybe I could just leave her here, it’s not like I really need her to be with me for my presentation.” Peter said but he looked down at the floor when both Steve and Bucky gave him a look. “No, Peter, you worked so hard on that project, Cat is going with you no matter what!” Bucky answered before Steve could even say anything.

Before one of them could do anything else Wanda walked into the room. “Hey, I heard a commotion, what is going on?” She asked as she slowly made her way to Peter’s side. “Cat doesn’t want to go in her travel basker, but she needs to so I can take her to school.” Peter answered Wanda as Bucky tried to stop Cat from clawing at his skin. Wanda looked over at Bucky as he struggled. “Let me talk to her,” Wanda said before carefully removing Cat from Bucky. “Hey, kitty Cat, what is wrong?” Wanda started, she held Cat close, almost holding her like a baby. “I don’t wanna be trapped in the basket! it’s so closed, i don’t like it! they trap me and then keep me prisoner for hours!” Cat answered Wanda, to the other it sounded like a bunch of meows. 

“Oh Cat, you know we aren’t trapping you in there, it’s just so you stay safe while we travel. We do not want you to get hurt on the way to get too tired.” Wanda explained to Cat while gently petting her over the head. Cat started to purr a bit and leaned more against Wanda. “But it scares me, I don't wanna be… Be… Be… trapped!!” Cat continued to meow a lot to Wanda. Wanda kind of understood what Cat meant, but she still knew Cat had to go into the travel basket. “I know, I know honey, but we do not confine you, I get that you feel that we, but we don’t mean for you to feel that way. Now, I'll talk to the others and get you a bigger basket, but for now, could you please, for us, for Peter, get in the basket and go to school with Peter.” Wanda reassured Cat as she cuddled Cat close to her. Cat purred and let out a small “yes.” meow.

So with Wanda’s help Cat got into the travel basket and stayed there until Happy got there to help Peter take his things to the car. Happy was carrying a big cardboard poster while Peter carried all the other stuff to the car. Wanda carried Cat, talking to her the whole way to the car. Cat was still scared, but she would be brave, for Peter.

<----------------------------------------------------------->

After a long car ride to Midtown high with Peter and Happy Cat finally was let out of her travel basket. Peter helped Happy put Cat in her harness. Happy didn’t really get how the harness worked when Peter explained it to him, so he let Peter do it after a while. Cat then waited as Happy and Peter got everything out of the car. She watched all the other students walk past them. There were a few who looked at them, and only one came up to give Cat a quick pet and say hi to Peter. 

Happy helped Peter to put his project in the correct classroom before leaving to do some minor tasks for Tony. Peter happily let Cat sit on his shoulders while he walked to his locker. Ned waited there for him. Once Peter got to Ned they did their secret handshake thingy. “So Cat is joining us today?” Ned asked as Cat nuzzled into Ned’s hand when he reached up. “Yeah, it’s easier to have her here with me all day than to ask Happy to do extra car rides and put Cat in her travel basket. Even this morning it took four of us to get her in it. But Wanda did most of it.” Peter explained to Ned as he grabbed the books he needed for the next few classes. “She seems fine now, but then again Cat is special so her behavior is a bit odd at times.”

“She’s a cat Peter, all cats are a bit odd at times. Plus she has the orange gene, maybe not a lot, but she has it.” Ned said as he and Peter walked towards their first class. Cat was happily listening and looking around the school. “Yeah, but she has black cat genes too, and brown and white cat genes. She has a little bit of everything.” Peter answered Ned before putting Cat down on the ground. “So a little bit of everything all of the time?” Ned asked. “You could say that” Peter responded as he opened the classroom door. “explains a lot actually”

“It sure does” Ned said before sitting down in their usual seats. Cat jumped onto the table and lay down in the middle of it. 

<----------------------------------------------------------->

Cat spent most of the classes asleep next to Peter. Some classes she slept on Mj’s lap or curled up around Ned’s neck. She was a good kitty and at lunch she got a lot of extra pets and attention from all the other students. She waited until it was her time to shine. 

Finally after multiple hours of just napping in class or thinking how annoying the teacher was, Cat finally got to shine. Peter was setting up his project at the front of the class and Cat sat patiently on the table. A few of the children looked at Cat with big interest. Cat saw this and jumped off the table where Peter was still setting up and trotted over to them. She gave Peter’s classmates headbuts and pawed at their legs for attention. This went on for a little while until Peter was ready. He grabbed Cat and put her back on the big table. “You can do a little round around the class after i showed anatomy” Peter whispered to Cat before starting his presentation. 

And so after cat anatomy and a bad Grey’s anatomy joke from Peter, Cat started to trot around the classroom again giving more headbuts and paws. By the end of the presentation Cat was back on the big table and Peter was ending his little list of end facts. “Owh and Cat can see ghosts.” Peter said ending his presentation. Everyone laughed when Peter said Cat could see ghosts, but Cat didn't. She was a bit annoyed that Peter got everything right but the ghost thing. But overall she had a good day and wasn’t so scared of the travel basket anymore. Which meant she wasn’t really mad at Peter.

The two of them got picked up by Tony after school and Peter proudly told him about his grade from the project and his school day. Cat happily sleeping in the back seat listening to Peter yep on.

[katsdynam1ght]

currently at a research symposium wanting to explode and/or die i’ve only slept four hours the past two nights and i can’t get food until like 2:30 so you know what time it is! time to project all of my problems onto college au keigo!

he’s not a bad public speaker, not by any means. he’s got lots of practice. that said this particular time he is completely unprepared. though passionate about his subject (i’m still thinking criminal psychology… maybe behavioral analysis if i start rewatching criminal minds) he has had no time to rehearse. he has also barely slept and hasn’t eaten so you know he’s just generally not having a great time

spent weeks doing research for his project and then another week making his poster. that part goes well but then comes presentation time and the sensory input is crazy. listening to everyone around him speak while trying to focus his attention on his own thing—i do think keigo (given what we see in canon) has a really good grasp on multitasking and is capable of thinking about many things at once, but i think with the added factors here he’s not having the easiest time of it all

cue the judges coming up to listen to him and he kicks off his presentation. it goes well, he knows the material, the judges ask questions, etc. you know how it goes. but man is it tiring and he’s already so exhausted. it’s a five-hour event though so he can’t even leave. totally trapped.

but because i want keigo to have a better time than me i’m going to say touya shows up to support him and watch. stands behind the judges so he’s not a distraction but once they leave he comes up to him to look at his poster and talk. it’s not like the material is all that foreign because he’s heard keigo rambling about it for months, but he still asks questions and feigns complete interest for keigo’s sake

and okay maybe the interest isn’t forced at all but he doesn’t really care about the research. he just likes how keigo looks when he talks about it. wants to hear him talk some more. what a beautiful man.

touya’s presence makes it worth it.

[pencil-inc]

#4

You might be wondering what kind of name "Reference" is. Well, it's not on my driver's license.

Codes, acronyms, synonyms and referents were passed around like it were child's play, some official, some not. Part of this was enforced, like the repetition of the project's values, known as LEAD (as in pencil lead):

Loyalty, Extension, Attention, Determination. You're going to hear that a lot from now on.

Well, not just from me. From every other corner of this place, too. The entire project was underpinned by LEAD.

I'll try and paint a picture for you.

"You know, it's like where most toons come from! [Our values come] from the end of a pencil," Nikolai Ravensdale said in a press interview at the company's opening. He was the head-turning, exceptional COO for the entirety of Beale and PENCIL's ventures.

(I'm not siding with him, by the way. He was just extraordinarily intelligent.)

"We take this seriously like no one else; I- I actually came up with these, one night. It was like 3AM, I don't know how I did it (...)

"Loyalty might sound like it's a- like we treat our companies like dogs, and we don't! (laugh) It's for our work, for that devotion to science and wellbeing."

Every start of a shift, take your ID in your hands and repeat those values. With your colleagues. Fall into line, keep them at the forefront. Face the day with ferocious, unrelenting energy. Don't think twice.

"Extension helps our employees really push themselves in their drive to treat our patients and their research with care! Especially in the case of the interns we take on..."

You can stay another hour or two. Come on, the time will fly! Imagine the work you can get done this late, at 4am. Won't they be impressed, you think as you sip your fifth cup of coffee.

"Attention makes sure they don't miss the little things and details, for our quality work..."

If you’re not aiming for perfection, you’re doing it wrong. Check your numbers. Use the finer sandpaper. Watch your chemical quantities. Check your numbers. Push out the presentation by another fifteen so you can be sure you won’t be scrutinised. Start the whole test over, we missed a few millimetres worth of accuracy. Check your numbers.

"And Determination... well, what wouldn't we be without Determination? We'd give up!"

And you can't give up. You physically can't. Clause 16 keeps you, your colleagues, everyone from the night guards to the department heads trapped. Any breach of the contract is a confidentiality breach, and you risk a criminal record if you disappear without notice. They paid a lot of money for that watertight seal, I know that much.

WIth that, burnout came second nature to us like how a duckling takes to a pond of magma. It’s only normal when it’s everywhere.

I think, in hindsight, it was remarkable how much we adapted to that hell. No, really. Nikolai, or One was we called him, knew what he was doing. It was no Stockholm syndrome stimulant, but that acronym was the epitome of the idealised worker.

Soon enough, we all tired and fell in line. The monotone uncertainty became monotone. Our pay was given without scrutiny, we took it without question (and it was good pay). The ease of compliance was just that. Easy.

Nikolai was the company’s poster ‘child’. He had a lot to say and a whole deal of enthusiasm to say it with. He had some of the finest communication skills in the sector, right until the company’s end.

We had a whole set of referents for people like Nikolai. Company leaders? The Men Upstairs. Department leads? The Round Table, sometimes. Investors? The Coins, but definitely while they were a thousand miles away or more.

Might as well anonymise myself with one. Feels fitting. Like I can’t let everything go after all this time, as much as I try.

— Reference

[measuringbliss]

Spider-Man Read-Through 032: Gifts (ASM 163-164)

MASTERPOST

In this batch, we celebrate a birthday and we actually analyze stuff!

Oh, there's the Kingpin too, I guess.

At the start of the issue, Spidey has an action scene with goons and the Kingpin, but he can't follow them very far. The scene was rather bland, so let's just skip to the Parker stuff.

The previous batch did allude to a surprise party!

First of all, is it me or do the characters change clothes more often? I feel like that's new. I love Peter's purple pants, they're great.

Yup, it reminds me of The New Animated Series! What a show that was. Not perfect, but audacious at least (and visually great).

Anyway, I love how everybody wishes him a happy birthday. That's neat! Peter has just had a really difficult year or two. Gwen's death, Harry's addiction, Gwen's clone... I'm happy that he gets to be happy for a bit.

OKAY. THIS IS MY CALLING. MY OPPORTUNITY. LET'S ANALYZE ALL OF THIS.

Let's check the number of people present that gave something:

the rose curtains

the green armchair

the native american statue

the doggie plushie

the patchwork couch

the pink lamp

the wooden table

the poster on the wall

the espada decoration

the pink rug Those items are the most remarkable. Now the people!

MJ

Flash

The wonderful landlady

Robertson

Liz

Harry

Randy

Gloria

So about 8 in each category. I think that's good enough.

I have some explaining to do.

First off, I think Robertson probably brought the majority of the more mundane furniture. He's older than the rest of them, would have asked Randy's help to transport everything, it makes complete sense to me. I also attributed him the green armchair, but I hesitated. However, I thought that, given how nice it looks, any of Peter's similar age friends would have a hard time giving it off. However, its green color is more of an MJ thing to me...

Talking about MJ... The statue. I think she'd find it pretty funny. Now, how would she have it? I have no idea, but I have a feeling she'd be very happy with herself hahaha. I also attributed the patchwork couch to her for the vibes, although I also thought it could be attributed to Gloria.

Gloria is an issue for me, because we didn't get so much time to get acquainted with her, so it was hard to think of something, but I think she could also have brought some furniture, or some of the most useful stuff like the fruit basket, the radio, the fish.

Flash! Let's talk about Flash. His things were easy: both the circular wooden table and the espada decoration ooze frat bro energy. The fish decoration might have been from Harry or Robbie too, but...

Harry provided the big dog, I think. He could technically have given anything to Peter. He's rich. But I think the dog is a sentimental thing. And it's huge. Do you picture the other characters having a huge dog like this? I personally don't. Or maybe Randy. But Harry? Giving his giant dog plushie to his best friend?

I'm gonna cry.

The rose curtains are tacky, but also charming. I thought it might have been from MJ or Gloria, but the landlady seemed the most indicated to me. In the same way, the old-looking (although I don't know much about lights from the 70s...) pink lamp is probably from the landlady.

Liz probably provided the pink rug, and maybe some furniture. I don't know. We didn't see much development since her return.

Finally, Randy. I feel like he and Robbie acted as one, but the poster feels the most Randy-ish. Randy's shown to be pretty politically active in his student circle, so I wouldn't be surprised if he had posters to put up everywhere. After a bit of research, the text probably says "Every day, in every way, I am getting better, better, and better", a sentence attributed to Emile Coué (French rep, yay!). Which kind of throws my theory in shambles...

Or does it? I can see Robbie giving it to his son, and his son getting tired of it/learning its lesson, and deciding it would look nice on Peter's wall.

Oh well, that does it for the analysis! Now, did I hit the nail on the head?

Toasters is definitely something Gloria would bring, like I said. The fish... make sense, alright.

Our lovebirds interrupt me checking my answers.

And Flash's eager to ruin everything, hahaha.

Does the panel imply Peter and Flash briefly held hands for a second? I'm here for it!

Peter is not, however. He questions his sexu--I mean, his relationships with the opposite sex. He's so close to getting it!

The two people interrupting him are Liz and Harry, having the time of their life. Good for them!

Later, Spidey encounters the Kingpin again, and...

SUDDENLY BONDAGE!

The next issue begins with a clarification.

Girl. What.

Turns out a lot of stuff happened in Captain America #148. I didn't expect that storyline to continue in another magazine. Marvel!!!!

Thankfully for me, Vanessa arrives to slay.

Unfortunately, the Kingpin doesn't care about Vanessa thinks and she says that she's basically done here. So long!

Yes, you suck, Kingpin!

However, he doesn't suck entirely. He says that Spidey can go, since he doesn't need him anymore. Spidey's not very nice and still tries to fight. He has only six hours to live, and decides to go back to his apartment.

For all of you, whump lovers!

Peter decides to go to Curt Connors. They do experiment, foreshadow that The Lizard's gonna come back soon, then Spidey goes to find Richard and revert their life energy.

They two villains fight, fall in the Hudson river, Spidey emerges, and Vanessa stops the men from shooting at him.

I guess Spidey's lucky, huh! Because it sure looked like he was going to kill Richard to save himself!

Nobody asked for this! Nobody!!!!!!!

[gyri-residue]

cursory research on god*jesus robot -or- uranai robo :

this little critter , with a carapace of plastic and entrails of silicon , wires and weak metal alloys , was released by bandai japan in nineteen-eighty-four . a fortune telling robot coated in a thick , shallow and strange veneer of sterile-marketable christian iconography . from what i've been able to surmise through limited research-scowering websites , reading words , viewing images and deducing connections between it all-of course it's undeniable and obvious that uranai robo is a simple , purposefully ephemeral novelty toy , especially reflected in the intended use of the toy as the user is meant to wish-pray to uranai robo and recieve one of four simple and incredibly vague responses . an interaction just as shallow as the toy's design and iconography .

(below) uranai robo's printed box instructions (left) and smile two monstrosity puppet articulation appreciation as filler because i hate tumblr mobile post architecture auto-structuring of making a lone image in a row of post format space so freaking huge and obnoxious and ugly !!! >:( ugh , anyways , a post of smile two monstrosity puppet articulation appreciation is slowly boiling into being in my drafts , channelling the absolute rage which festers within me over its being almost entirely cut from the fiiiilm !!! >_< (right , unrelated)

directions of use : 1) stand before god*jesus , 2) clap and clasp your hands in prayer , 3) make your wish-seek guidance from god*jesus . 4) god*jesus responds .

uranai robo has four repsonses to the supplicant ; two of them being head nods of affirmation-confirmation-motivation , one of which being gentle and the other stern . the other two being head shakes of denial-skepticism-trepedation , again one being soft and the other more assertive .

(below) images on uranai robo boxes depicting little demonstrations of how to use the toy .

the demonstrations on the toys' boxes are an interesting point of fascination for me , begetting frantic speculation spurred on by the absurd vagueness of the story presented and the way such uncertainty feeds into my schizoaffective nature . i'll save these readings and analysis for an addendum to this post as i want this post to stand on it's own , primarily , as a resource for uranai robo-based education . though , in regard to speculative lore analysis of the box demonstrations , i'm particularly interested in the nigh-complete and total distillation of an intimate interpersonal relationship into its barest , shallowest elements-quarks .

the curious aesthetic beauty of a godless machine* made with the sole and tired purpose of novelty , marketability and profit , nothing deeper , nothing more . *the word machine used as lightly as possible , uranai robo is still a simple toy after all , 'trinket' would be an apt descriptor .

their are a few delightful color varients , (below , left) uranai robo sporting a warm , gentle orange . notably weilding a cross . perhaps a weapon ??? (below , right) uranai robo clad in such a soft and beautiful pink

(below) uranai robo encased within their protective styofoam shelter , probably saying something along the lines of 'th-this is my hole ! it was made for me !'

(above , left) uranai robo freed from their veritable sarcophagus . (above , right) beauty shot .

what a strange thing to become hyperfixated upon , was upset with the initial post as it centered uranai robo as its sole subject while simultaneously containing literally ZERO information whatsoever on uranai robo , simply posted for aesthetics-which is not at all any amount of shade to the original poster !! all love to you sandmandaddysixtynine <3 , drove me into a frenzy scowering for information and learning more of this beautiful little fucker , and i must thank you immensely for it , this drive has been such a beautiful change of pace :,)

sources : shop listing on mercari , blog on medium created by margaret wallace at the tail end of twenty-eighteen , the old robots website , blog on playing in the world game ᵃˢ ᵒⁿᵉ of which i've sadly been unable find any information regarding when it was published and who created it further than the penultimate sign-off of 'the wolf has spoken' .

[ezziefox]

I hate school so much, i wish another pandemic could come so that it can at least go back online.

School has only gotten worse this year. Everyone has to do sixty hours of community service, then we have multiple "school-based assessments" to work on throughout the entire year. I don't know how to explain them, but think of them like drawn out group projects that requires actual research and multiple different presentations and whatnot. I have to complete my community service by November. I wanted to do it in the summer, but then found out that they wouldn't allow it to be done overseas so now i have to find somewhere to cram in 60 hours before the time is up.

they extended the school days, so now school ends at 3 instead of 2 like it used to. I hate my teachers, especially this one teacher. with all of this happening, i literally will barely or not even at all be able to do something else, for example, writing.

i recently told myself that i'd stop writing because it was killing me. it felt like fighting a battle of what i actually wanted to do whilst i was also being forced to do something else i absolutely hate. plus, writing takes time, and time is something i won't have much of anymore. i keep trying to find ways to slack off or make things easier so that I have more time to write, but now it's come back to fuck me over in the sense of my mental health and stability.

i'd made that giving up promise to myself, but i couldn't help myself as i began writing again this weekend. and now that the weekend is over and there are still things i haven't done, i feel trapped. i feel like i'm in hell.

it's only been the first week of school, and already, i have to create two posters for spanish, and rewrite a letter we had gotten to do on our last year end of year exams. plus a mock exam for english in a practice book that i need to finish up.

It's gotten to the point where I wish another pandemic could come so that school could at least go back online. The monkeypox is going around. i wish it would find its way to my country so that we'd have to go back into lockdown. because, at least when i was online, i could multitask without fear of being punished or being told to put away my laptop.

they keep pushing us to work towards our goals, yet they kill us by the second.

i just want school to at least go back online. i know a lot of people are saying they don't learn online, but i'm really fucked in the head right now and i just want to be able to pursue my dreams without having to put a pause on it.

last night and today i spent it all writing, and i've made the most progress i have in four years since i first began in 2020. i desperately don't want that to end. i want to continue writing this story, but i have to prepare for hell tomorrow, so i just want to get in some slack with it too.

god damn it.

can't school just go back online. just go fucking back online.

even if an earthquake comes and destroys my school (it's a really old building), i wouldn't care at this point. i'm tired. i'm fed up. i don't want this anymore.

school is destroying me by the second. and I don't know how much more of it i can take.

and i don't want to hear silly advice like time will pass and all that bullshit.

i just can't take it anymore.

i just want to write. i just want to write endlessly. finally publish a book. finally get something out there. is it so bad i want to dedicate my life to my dream? fuck school.

ugh.

not even writing this could clear my conscience like the previous times. sigh.

[cas-rolled]

⚡️ thesis progress

Finished my second draft of the introduction and sent it to my PI earlier today.

Agreed upon the timeline I created for thesis work.

Confirmed my participation in the college research symposium later this month. Which requires me to make a poster and. do other things. But I really enjoy presenting research, so some probable-late nights are worth it.

Scheduled data analysis for next week.

🌈 miscellaneous

For reasons I don't feel like fully explaining simply because it is lengthy and I'm tired, it's very likely that I did not get the internship (although I still don't have full confirmation). But I'm honestly kinda relieved because that would have been...rather a lot. I ended up applying to a couple random ones for after the school year that seemed interesting.

read ahead a little for my philosophy of science and environmental sustainability classes

catching up with my lab mates was really nice!! and the new members are very friendly; one of them I apparently share a class with.

Writing tutoring started properly this week and it was a lot busier than the beginning of semesters usually are! I had some really fantastic sessions with students, and the new cohort is shadowing us vets so they were very complimentary. Which is always nice :)

I've been making sure to schedule hangouts with various friends as well and I am excited!! For those to occur.

[miss-biophys]

My lab (im doing an undergrad thesis) is also researching synthetic peptide antibiotics! We're in a much earlier stage so we're focusing on emulating mode of action rn (which of course requires a whole host of smaller steps to check each part of its function before moving forward) and im presenting preliminary results in my first poster at the biophysical society meeting next week!!

(I have not finished said poster. I have not even gotten all the data to put on it. I have reached a point where I may or may not have used the wrong solution entirely which would require me to redo at least half of what I did. I am checking this today. Depending on whether its true I either have a couple more hours of data collection or like. Probably more than 12 :') im so tired.)

Hi! Good luck with your poster preparation. It often does not look like much work to prepare a poster but it could take a few days until you are satisfied with it. I always ask my students to show me their first draft at least a week before the printing so they have time to incorporate my feedback.

Don't worry about the results. You say it's preliminary, so just talk about the project, the question you aim to answer, the approach that you apply, and how far you got so far. This is completely fine and normal at conferences. I often discuss my ongoing projects at conferences and garther new ideas and tips on how to proceed and what I might have overlooked.

Good luck!

[nissinnooodles]

Module 3: Sleep who??

☆.｡.:*

For weeks, we have been preparing for our final defense, a.k.a. the Research Congress. From preparing our research plans (the three of us are not in the same group), to preparing our research posters, and to making our own research notes, the three of us really felt a significant hit of tiredness. We went through a rollercoaster ride of emotions, and our papers also went through a series of revisions. During the said 2 weeks, the most asked question in our classroom was probably "kaubra na kamo amo ni?". You can all bet that our answer to that question every time was "wala e, kami pa". Juggling all our school works, whether it was written, filmed, or recited, we are certainly surprised that we have gotten through! All of our posters are done, and we are too (jk).

PS:

From Nejie: How to train your eyebags 😍. No but seriously, this is an experience that we will cherish. So much emotions going through us that day, it felt so surreal like "is this really happening!?!?". And even though that day was very tiring, I'm glad everyone pushed through to reach the end goal.

☆.｡.:*

Module 4: Boss Fight

☆.｡.:*

We were all anxious and nervous on the day of the research congress. But we all know we can do it, and we studied and practiced extensively, which is one of the reasons I am not nervous (Sophie). Me and nejie were groupmates alongside with dave and Iris was in a different group with Khayze and Samantha, while we were preparing to go to the venue where the cingress would be held, we helped each other by asking questions and giving tips to each other. We prayed and exchanged hugs and good luck before heading to the venue. The flow of the congress was unexpected; it was very easy, which was fortunate given our confidence. Following the congress, the teachers award the student who stands out the most, and we never expected to win. My group came in second place for best poster. Iris' group came in second place in oral defense and first place in best research poster. This proves that nothing is impossible as long as we are consistent and patient. All of our efforts, blood, sweat, and tears have been rewarded.

☆.｡.:*

mods 5: Dance Till You're Dead

☆.｡.:*

Hell weeks are no longer surprises for STE students. In fact, we mentally prepare ourselves from week 1. Hell weeks are tiring, jammed, exhausting, uncool, and not fun according to all STE students I know. Nonetheless, we still pushed through with our performance task. It was definitely not a fun one to handle as the performance task focuses on handling the entire section, and knowing my classmates, practicing with them is not something I consider as paradise. We got a score of 100, and we also had so much fun (mostly stress) preparing.Fun fact, we took a test in math while wearing our Sakuting costumes:)).The practice, props, costumes, and preparations may be crammed, but the performance task definitely created a core memory as it is our final big presentation in MAPEH.PSFrom Iris: While writing the caption, I couldn't help but reminisce about all the things I went through with my classmates. I will certainly never forget the highs and lows we all went through.

☆.｡.:*

[etenvs3000w23]

Unit 5

I found it surprisingly difficult this week to find a prompt to talk about. When one is given a blank slate to talk about anything they want, it sounds easy, I thought it would be, but for some reason that was not the case. Maybe I’m just tired. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed. Or perhaps my priorities have shifted. I’ve noticed that when I am outside of school I tend to not think about science and nature all that much. Which is unfortunate, seeing as I am taking a Bachelor’s degree in the subject. I told myself this semester I would be excited about my field. Learn to express the work I’m doing with the same passion that the scientists I work with do. Which is why today I will be summarising my thesis project I have been working on all summer. Not because it's easy, if I had my real free choice I’d discuss the zoology of cryptids, or the creatures of Star Wars, or the Cordyceps fungal infection of the Last of Us, but because my thesis is something real. Something tangible. And something I hope to be proud of one day.

So. My thesis. Where to begin? I suppose it all began just under two years ago. Deep in the pandemic, desperate for real experience in my field as a Zoology student and uncertain how to get it when all the optional field courses were cancelled and my labs were shifted online. So, what I did do was apply to a USRA position through ExperienceGuelph. Not just one position though, but ten, and out of those ten positions, two got back to me, and out of those two, I was selected for one. An assistant position in Dr. Alex Smith’s lab for the summer of 2021. Dr. Smith, or Alex as he prefers to be called by his students, was perhaps my favourite professor I’d had in my first two years of University. He knew how to engage with students even across the screen, and his Intro to Invertebrates class was phenomenal. 

The work he had me doing that summer was simple but rewarding, as the more time I spent in the field the more I built up my skills as an independent researcher. Eventually they trusted me to collect data on my own. Run experiments by myself. Data on the thermal tolerance limits of ants. And this data is what has built the basis of my thesis project in my final year: ‘The effect of temperature on the activity and thermal tolerance of ants (Formicidae) across a habitat gradient’. In simplest terms I am looking at the lowermost and uppermost temperature limits ants can handle, and I am comparing how they differ between two habitats in a small area of the Dairy Bush woodlot on campus.

The work I have done for this thesis started out fun, with field work and research and the joy of discovery, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I have gotten somewhat disillusioned with my project this far into the game. I have read and reread so many articles I don’t know what my true focus is anymore. And I keep running stats that I honestly don’t know how to interpret. The more I work on it the more I feel like it's less complete. However, I know I have two months to complete this project. I know I have an amazing coworker to help me run stats. And I know I have an incredible supervisor who will cheer me on even when I am lost in the data. I know that once I reach that endgame, once I am prepping for my presentation, and finalising my paper for submission, that passion will reignite again, just like it did two years ago when I started this journey.

My poster presentation last semester!

[jackass-jones]

I remember in sophomore biology we had to do a project where we were given a species and we had to research how they reproduce and make a poster. We also had to draw a picture which hmmmm….maybe not a great idea for horny sophomores but whatever

So I was paired up with your typical conservative dudebro and to my horror, we were given a species of lesbian lizards 🤡. I was uncomfortable cuz I knew that my gay ass was gonna have to present this in front of my homophobic classmates who would be staring at me like 😏 the whole time, while my partner was uncomfortable cuz he hated gays etc.

So as we were researching this lizard species, we basically learned that all the lizards are females, and they could reproduce both sexually and asexually. So I’m doing all the work, drawing lesbian lizards having sex you know, and my man is like. Waaait….if these ladies can have babies without having sex….then why would they have sex 😰??? And I’m so tired at this point and I’m like “BECAUSE THEYRE LESBIANS AND THEY WANNA FUCK EACH OTHER OKAY” and he was really quiet the rest of the time

So yeah that was….an experience 🙃

[lilchibi-chan]

So I was listening to the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack and had a thought. Kenma and Yamaguchi (separately) having a crush on the reader 🥰 Kinda like “If I could tell her” (that’s the song name)? Could u maybe write something for it? 👉👈🥺

Of course!! I hadn’t seen the show previous to this request, so I took a watch and did my research. Also, it’s so nice to see you requesting again💖 I hope you’ve been doing well and if not, I hope this helps and I’m open to talk if you need someone 🌸 Hope you enjoy 🌸

Kenma

You, Kenma and Kuroo were all at Kenma’s house doing homework/studying. You all live close to each other, so it’s not completely unusual that you all are at one of the other person’s house. Whether it be doing homework or just hanging out, you guys are always together.

You all had a literature assignment to write a poem about love, whether it’s in the form of a person or a place that makes you feel that way and etc.

Kenma decided to write his poem about how he feels about you. He’s had a crush on you for a while and he’s never had the courage to tell you. He still doesn’t, but he thought a good way to get his feelings out would be through this poem.

You all decide to switch papers to see what the other think of the poem you each wrote. Kuroo and kenma switched papers first, or so you thought, and you were gonna go after the two of them read theirs out loud.

“I’m going to read Kuroo’s first to get it over with,” Kenma says

You and Kuroo get comfortable to listen to Kenma read.

Kuroo secretly cheers him on, which you don’t notice

“The poem reads Her hair is dark like the wings of a raven Eyes bright like the sun is behind them Heart made of gold and skin made of satin These feelings I have stay quiet as I hide them Behind these eyes, she doesn’t see I wish she could because I want her with me I lay awake, thinking of her Wishing one day that I could tell her The way she smiles makes my heart skip a beat The way she laughs sets my soul on fire We’ve been friends for a while But I feel like we’re miles apart Due to the feelings I hide in my heart”

“W-wow,” you say taken aback by the words written on the paper

You also noticed that Kenma looked at you the whole time he read it. He was usually the type that avoided eye contact, but it was like he wanted you to hear his feelings and feel them pouring into your soul.

“Kenma, w-would you mind if I took a look at the paper,” you ask

“Uh.. um.. sure,” he says reluctantly handing it over

You read the paper and see that it’s Kenma’s name at the top.

“Kuroo, would you mind if Kenma and I spoke alone,” you ask

“Uhh.. no, go ahead,” he says, leaving the room

“S-so, how long have you felt this way,” you ask Kenma lowly

“A while,” he says not wanting to look you in the eyes

“Kenma, you can face me. I’m not scary,” you say trying to comfort him

“I-I know, but I’m not really good with people,” he says

“Well I’m not just anyone, I’m your best friend and...I kinda..have feelings.. for you..too,” you confess

“R-really,” he says surprised

“Yeah. I love spending time with you and your passion for video games and you teaching me how to play. I love that you never go easy on me either. I know games are like your everything and for you to share that with me took a lot and I know that.”

“Everything is easy with you, y/n” he confesses,“it kinda feels like I’ve known you forever and I’ve never really been that comfortable with anyone.”

“What about Kuroo,” you ask laughing

“He kinda just claimed me as his, but I don’t mind having him around. To be honest, I do feel lonely without him being here, but sometimes even then, I think of you and I don’t feel lonely anymore. Just the thought of you being here brings me comfort.”

You sit there again, this time almost on the brink of tears.

Kenma looks up at you and notices the tears brimming your eyes.

“A-are you okay,” he asks worried

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” you say,“it was just really nice to hear you say that because I feel the same way. You’re my comfort person and whenever I think of you, I just feel warm and fuzzy inside. It sounds cliche but that feeling is indescribable”

“Y-y/n, would you..maybe...wanna hang out this weekend...but like, a date,” he asks

“Of course, Ken. I would love it.”

He smiles and you hear Kuroo open the door

“Ugh finally! I thought you two were gonna let me stay out there forever,” Kuroo says being dramatic, causing you to laugh

“You would’ve been fine,” Kenma says

“Gosh Kenma, you’re so cold. Why can’t you be nice to me like you with y/n” Kuroo says, fake crying

“You’re both two different people who I have different relationships with. You are not the same,” kenma says

“Wow Kenma,” Kuroo says holding his chest where his heart is

“Guys c’mon,” you say interrupting,“we all love each other now let’s just hang out like we usually do and have fun.”

And you all do just that until you and Kuroo decide to leave.

Yamaguchi

Today at Karasuno, there is an assembly being held with a talent show right after.

A couple weeks ago, when the talent show was announced, Yamaguchi decided that he wanted to do something big. He wanted to confess his feelings to you through a song.

Yamaguchi isn’t the most confident, but he wants to prove that for you, he would do anything.

He spent the two weeks doing research on different songs that explained exactly how he felt about you until he found the perfect one.

He also asked Tsukishima to help him by playing guitar and asked Daichi and Kageyama if they would do background vocals for him.

Tsukishima agreed because he was glad to see Yamaguchi grow some balls and take charge. Kageyama took a little more convincing and finally agreed when Yamaguchi offered to by him as much milk as he wanted and snacks after school if he helped. We all know Daichi being the dad friend agreed no questions asked.

They practiced everyday after practice.

Although they were tired, they knew how important this was for Yamaguchi.

Finally, the day has arrived and the boys are backstage getting ready.

You and Yachi are sitting in the crowd anticipating their performance.

“Wow this is so exciting. I know I could never do it because I’m really bad at dealing with people staring at me, but the good this is that it’s not me up there,” Yachi says to you

“I know,” you say, smiling big,“who knew?! Yamaguchi, Kageyama and Daichi can sing and Tsuki can play guitar!”

“I know this is amazing,” Yachi says gushing with you

After the student council presented what they had to, they announce that Yamaguchi, Tsuki, Kageyama and Daichi were the first act.

They all walk out on the stage and you can see Yamaguchi tense up once he turns his eyes to the sea of people.

You start cheering louder so that Yamaguchi can find you in the crowd and you hold up the poster that you and Yachi made last night.

“H-hi,” Yamaguchi says into the microphone,“I uh..I’m going to sing a song today that describes a really special girl in my life. It’s called Truly, Madly, Deeply by One Direction. Y/n, I hope you like it.”

“I haven’t heard this song before,” you say to Yachi as you both clap for them to hype them up and know that they have your support.

“Me neither,” you say,“but it should be good. One Direction have some amazing songs.”

Yamaguchi starts singing and you couldn’t believe your ears. He was actually really good. You couldn’t believe that he had hidden this talent from you.

You start listening to the words in the song and you realize that this is Yamaguchi’s way of confessing his feelings to you.

You didn’t know that he did, but there were times you thought maybe and you just were never really sure.

At this moment, they were solidified. Yamaguchi has feelings for you and he’s done hiding them. He also wants the whole world to know about it.

This is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you and you think to yourself ‘this is the kind of thing that happens in movies’

This felt like a dream to you. A dream you didn’t want to wake up from.

He looked in your direction the whole time and it felt like you were the only two people in the auditorium.

The song was beautiful and everything about this moment was perfect.

Sadly for you, it did come to an end.

The rest of the acts perform and the talent show ends.

Yamaguchi got second place.

You go see Yamaguchi and the rest of the boys back stage.

“You guys did amazing! You totally deserved first place,” you say pouting

“Y/n, can w-we talk for a second,” Yamaguchi says pulling you aside

“Yeah...you did amazing by the way. I really wish you would’ve gotten first place,” you say reiterating that he should’ve won the talent show

“It’s fine y/n,” he says honestly,“this performance was for you and only you, so I feel like I did win.”

“Yamaguchi,” you say smiling

“Y/n...I really like you and I had to tell you. I couldn’t hold it on anymore.. I hope you’re okay wi-,”

You interrupt him by crashing your lips on his.

“I couldn’t ask for a better confession. That was so romantic and I would love nothing more than to be your girlfriend...if you’re okay with it too,” you say with a giggle

“I would love nothing more than to be your boyfriend y/n”

You kiss again and walk back over to the group hand in hand.

There’s clapping and cheers and whistling.

You were so happy. The both of you were.

You couldn’t ask for a better day or a better boyfriend.

I hope you enjoyed this. I really wanted to try and make it perfect for you. I hope this met your expectations 🥺🌸