#Deku as Death AU

[sawerrat]

Death Deku AU Frick I forgot freckles idc🐀

[nina-scribbles]

Finally done with this piece for my 🪐🛸Space Au🚀🌌 !!!

+ some bonus closeups on details i really liked 💕

[lance-space-mommy]

Cleaning Out The Refridgerator

Izuku never knew a life without his mother. It was always Inko and Izuku against the world. Izuku never once met his father Hisashi and he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Inko was everything Izuku needed and without her being at the forefront of his life, he’d never become the person he was. It was all thanks to his mother.

Inko died at the age of sixty. It was out of the blue and she had died of a heart attack. Izuku was only thirty-five. The day he got the call his mother had died was the worst day of his life.

His hero work kept him busy and he rarely got days off. Whenever Izuku managed to get the time, he’d always have dinner dates with his mother. It was clear Inko had appreciated those little moments together.

They’d cook together, catch up on life, and just cuddle for hours. They felt like the time they shared always slipped away and those moments felt so short even if they spent the whole day together.

Izuku and Katsuki got married at the young age of 20. They didn’t want to waste a moment and desired to experience all life had to offer.

When they were sixteen, they watched the other die. They knew how fragile and short life could be. Death was promised and they wanted to enjoy the life they had left.

Holidays and celebrations were always a grand event. Inko and Mitsuki would often hang out together, but having their family members join them for a party was an exhilarating experience. Every day, every moment, was lived to the fullest.

Izuku could say there was so much more he wished he could have experienced with his mother, but he was satisfied with the time he did have with his mother.

It didn’t make things any better, but having no regrets was something that made Izuku grieve his loss without any guilt laced with it. Izuku could miss the amazing woman Inko was and miss his perfect mother.

For months, Izuku was inconsolable. Katsuki did everything in his power to help Izuku through Inko’s death, but he couldn’t imagine the pain Izuku was going through. Katsuki loved Inko dearly, but he didn’t know what it was like to lose his mother. Katsuki didn’t even want to imagine a life without Mitsuki.

It was a random Friday when Mitsuki had invited Izuku over to have some tea and talk. It was nice to just talk to someone who cherished Inko just as much.

Mitsuki was crying, hugging Izuku. “I ran out of her pickled daikon radish! I don’t know what to do!”

Izuku paused, feeling something click in his mind. Even if Inko was no longer with him, there was something she did that no random person in the world could mimic. Inko’s cooking and baking were inimitable. The only person on the planet who could make Inko’s recipe was Izuku.

Izuku pulled back, his hands resting on Mitsuki’s shoulders. “I’ll make you some!”

Mitsuki’s eyes widen, blinking away her tears in surprise. “Really? You’d do that for me?”

“Yes, I’d love to make it for you,” reassured Izuku, his face filled with an excitement he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Mitsuki seemed to melt, relief flooding her. “Thank you, Izuku. I can’t wait to taste it!”

Izuku grinned, quickly hugging Mitsuki again. “You won’t be able to tell I made it, trust me.”

The next day rolled around and a beautiful Saturday greeted Izuku. Izuku threw himself up and took over the kitchen. The windows were opened and the morning breeze lulled Izuku into a peaceful rhythm.

The sunlight warmed his skin, matching the warmth his heart felt while making the same food Inko happily prepared him when he was a child.

Katsuki walked over and instantly spotted the mess. Shaking his head with a small smile, Katuski made his way over. Wrapping his arms around Izuku’s waist, Katsuki pressed a tender kiss to Izuku’s temple. “What are you getting into?”

“Just cleaning out the fridge,” fibbed Izuku, knowing Katsuki wasn’t going to buy it.

“Sure and I’m not your husband,” remarked Katsuki, giving Izuku a gentle squeeze.

Izuku sat down the knife before turning around to hug Katsuki. “I’m making some pickled radish for your mother.”

Katsuki paused before a look of recognition crossed his face. “She’s probably over the moon knowing you can keep supplying her addiction. She’s obsessed with Inko’s pickled food for as long as I remember.”

“Yeah, I can’t believe I was so depressed I forgot that I can remake all the foods my mom made by heart,” chuckled Izuku, snuggling into Katsuki’s secure hold.

“Anything I can do to help?” questioned Katsuki, knowing the answer was going to be no, but he wanted to check anyway.

Izuku shook his head before pecking Katsuki on the lips. “Nope. This is quick and easy to make.”

Katsuki nodded before releasing Izuku. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Within thirty minutes, Katsuki heard a loud thumping in the kitchen. Rushing out, Katsuki watched as Izuku jumped in place, filled with excitement as he was chewing. Katsuki sank in relief upon witnessing the childlike joy written in Izuku’s expression and bouncing.

Izuku spotted Katsuki staring and quickly shoved the pickled radish into Katsuki’s mouth. Katsuki immediately could tell why Izuku was so excited. The crunchy yellow radish tasted exactly like the kind he had eaten his entire life. It was identical to Inko’s.

Izuku knew that if he kept making food that tasted identical to his mother’s, he’d never stop eating. If food was how he planned to keep his mother alive, he’d happily eat each meal like it would be his last.

“Good job, Izuku. It’s perfect,” complimented Katsuki, diving in for more.

“It’s so wonderful,” cried Izuku, following his husband's lead and eating more.

Inko may be gone, but for the rest of Izuku’s life, he’d never have to live a day without her beautiful, one-of-a-kind meals. Inko showed her love through food and Izuku would forever be grateful that homemade meals will forever be their thing. Even after death.

[undergoing-mitosis]

one of my favourite pairings is a dramatic blonde with anger issues and inferiority complex who likes to think he's hot shit, who is incredibly ambitious and dedicated yet is a complete little shit when he needs to be, and who lets absolutely nothing stand in the easy from his reaching his goals, apart from some kid who has always one upped him in every way and who he has therefore developed an irrational unrequited rivalry towards (said kid actually quite likes him but doesn't know how to express this fact), x a green eyed freckled nerd.

no this post is not about bakudeku. this post is about mello x matt.

[gglitch1dd]

hello, I'm new to ur content and I just passed by ur tumblr/content last month, I was hooked and I really liked ur work especially the villain deku ones :33 I was also wondering if I may request this idea of villain deku accidentally killing his darling (this is my first time requesting and I'm kinda nervous on asking content creators), I got this idea from this video from yt called something with Amy (u can search it up if you wanna find out more abt the vid) and I instantly got vil!deku vibes from it. That's all and great job on your work and keep writing I rlly love it!!! <33

Hello Anon, baby!! I'm so glad you love my content! It makes me so happy to hear! Don't feel nervous! I don't bite. Also I'm proud of you for requesting it, despite knowing my answer. That still takes guts <3

Hmmm very interesting. Also ALOT of people love Villain Deku. I don't know why but I am more than happy to write for him. Now let me see what I can do about this.

Note: TW-Death. Reader dies. Izuku has sad boi hours. Mentions of blood and guilt.

Now personally, I don't think Midoriya would EVER kill Y/N. I mean he loves you too much. He wouldn't even dream of putting you in a situation where you were in danger and he could be the cause of it, especially if you weren't a villain yourself and you didn't fight or have a quirk to protect yourself.

He's crazy but he isn't THAT crazy. But in the one out of a million chance he does, you best believe it would tear him up from the inside out. It would split his head in half worse than any hero or person could do to him. He would feel as though his world would crash down and hurl at him from the sky.

It wouldn't be on purpose, hell he would assume you were far away from the battle like you should have been.

Midoriya would no doubt be fighting against a hero, most probably Dynamight (mostly because the guy won't leave him in peace) but also because it's fun. He had a plan. It was going to be flawless. He would trap Dynamight under a building. He had done much worse to him in the past and with how strong Dynamight was, there was no doubt he would survive it (much to Midoriya's dismay) but it would give Midoriya time to think a bit.

Or at least that was the plan. Until next thing he knew when he did have the time and Dynamight was trying to get out, he couldn't find you. It scared him because you weren't where he told you to be. You weren't anywhere until Midoriya just so happened to be walking down the building he brought down and he saw an arm that oddly resembled yours. It only fully settled in when he saw the engagement ring he had gotten you on your finger.

Your arm lifeless, like the rest of you and blood pooling from underneath the rubble. Midoirya would be speechless, motionless. His heart and soul would leave his body as he realised that you were dead. You were gone. Your arm pale and there being too much blood to even consider you being alive. You weren't just dead. You were killed.

Because of his actions.

Midoriya would immediately dissociate. Mostly because you were his world. You were his everything. The breath in his lungs and the beat to his heart. He was in love with you. Yah he had his ambitions, he had his own dreams and goals that he thought he would never stop chasing and yet without you it all seemed pointless.

Mostly because you made his dull and hell feeling existence in this world, worth living. You made waking up in the morning better. You made coming back home better. Hell you just made him better. Yet you had died because of him. At the end of it, the love of your life was your greatest downfall.

The guilt of killing someone he cared about. Someone he loved, someone he wanted to marry would overtake him so hard, I don't even think he would fight once he realized that Dynamight was free and that he was being detained.

It would only sink in hours later, sitting in a cell in Tartarus where he would feel the most intense pain, not physical, all just mental and emotional- overcome him. He wouldn't be able to breathe, to think. His head would feel as though it was splitting in two. You were gone. It was painful but it was the truth.

He would probably go mad at some point (not like he wasn't already mad) but then at the end of it, I think he would pull a Midoriya Izuku, escape Tartarus and head back to base to think. He was without you. Without his rock. Without the love of his life. So that only meant one thing.

Since his world was empty without you in it,

he may as well destroy everything else.

Nothing made sense without you anyways and besides. You were his baby, his precious dumpling. He would do anything for you. And in order to punish himself, he would even break down the world for you. As a tribute to your life.

He would swear it, at your grave, hands in his pockets. A fresh bouquet of flowers would be set for you and he would smile softly down at your name etched. "I apologize my love, I pray one day you would forgive me." He would whisper, eyes hollow and tired but a small smile staying on his face. "I promise to finish what I started. I also promise I will try to do it as quickly as I can... So that I can reunite with you soon."

-Glitch1d

I hope this was okay Anon, and I hope you loved it!!<3<3

<My Izuku Midoriya Masterlist>

[short-black-diamond]

Fiction against Reality 2.

First part

Word count: 1,5 k

...

Last time:

He wishes to just see you face to face so badly that he doesn't even notice when the door to his room opens and something strange happens.

---

Somewhere, in a town or village, you were chilling with your sweet dog, about to turn on the TV. Strange thing was, it was raining and thundering the day prior and now the damn television won't show a picture. Or you forgot to buy more batteries for your remote. Either way, no matter which button you pressed on, no reaction made itself clear.

Meanwhile, your dog was having the time of its life by playing with that old toy you got them a few months back. However, your sweet pal was acting more like a brat now and of course, it had to knock against you so hard that you hit the TV.

But what was even more strange, was, that you didn't hit your head against the display, no, it seemed like the monitor became some sort of portal, which was sucking you in at the moment.

And before you could do anything else, you got sucked into a big, calm but intense, dark purple tunnel in nothing but a pair of converse shoes, jeans, a black tank top and your vest. your phone in your backpocket dared to slip out but you caught it before it could fly away from you and you, who was screaming as if you were on a rollercoaster, fell into that tunnel towards a source of light, which got darker the closer you got.

You got even more scared by that, your nerves on haywire, and before you knew it, your butt landed in a hallway...or was it a corridor? It looked like a corridor like a normal apartment or house would have. You looked around you. You were sitting on a carpeted floor, behind you was a door, and right and front of you, each one and a half feet away. There was also another door.

Right next to you. Should you open it-

WAit! How could this even happen? I mean, the TV not working, your own pet pushing you- with(out) intention?- into the screen which seems to have become some sort of entrance to another world, with no connection to your home? What happened to your dog? Does your phone work? How long were you falling? one look at your gave you the answer. You had the scariest time of your life, starting with spending the last two minutes falling into an endless seeming void and now ending up in a room- corridor- whatever!

You stood up, looking at the door again. Should you say something? Knock? Yeah, knock first...

So, you knocked at the door closest to you, but there was no response. You grew too courious to not open the door and when you did, you saw somebody who was way too familiar not to notice; him.

...

"...Uhm, hello?", you called, making yourself known. He whipped around, and then he stared. You frowned. "Wait a second...!", you said, marching over to him.

He, who was questioning but also thanking the stars and everybody he knew to see you, right in front of him, in flesh. "I-how-you-huh?", he only made out and he looked like a fish gaping for water.

Meanwhile, you were too occupied examining the background picture on his PC he had, which was one of your selfies, but it wasn't even a good one. You were looking way too tired in it, it was blurred because your precious puppy at that time decided to attack you with licking your face the moment you snapped that pic and your hair was way weirder back then. "Why and from where do you have that picture of me."

It was more like a sentence, like a demand. He feared that he could ruin his chances with you- if he even had any -and stood in front of the monitor to block your vision from it. And now, there he was, blushing heavily as he tried to reason to his crush, who shouldn't even be in the fictional world, why he had that selfie of you as his background.

So... what better way was there than to tell the truth?

He didn't want to lie to you, he never could. And he didn't lie, at first, that is. He told you about how you were a real person and how you somehow seemed to have ended up here, in this fictional universe, was a mystery to him (which he was actually very thankful for) and how there must have been somebody or something that might've triggered that. But he didn't tell you about his feelings to you, nor did he even think about confessing...yet.

Hearing all these theses and ideas and theories made your head spin and heart hurt, no matter how much you tried to look on the bright side. "So, you're (his name) from (anime/game/etc.) and want to tell me all those things about alternate-/multi- and metaverses? Please, tell me about that pic you have of me then, because it makes me uneasy that a guy like you has it."

If there was one thing he loved, it was how straight forward you could be, even when you landed in another universe. And, well, that whole ordeal of beating around the bush would be no use if you're cutting it down, right?

"W-well, there is something I didn't tell you; whenever you play a game, read a webtoon/manga/etc., or watch anime/a series or anything in that matter, the characters from that fiction...become real. But not like real real humans, no. They...develop themselves more than the writers and authors give price or even know. For example, I, am (his name) from (that world) and there, we do (this and that) as you know already."

You nodded, sitting on the edge of his bed, to which he squealed internally. "So you guys can become...your own person, to put it simple." "Yes, also! Well, that's how I got that picture of you in the first place, uh...we can kinda...have acces to your personal data? Ehehe...heh..he...", he trailed off, not wanting to meet your disturbed face.

Then you made a disgusted face. "So, in other words, you're all perverts!", you yelled, jumping up and grabbing him by the collar. "Listen here, boy, I'm not some easy target to pry on, get it? I'm from (insert your home country) and there, we are very hard and tough. Life is tough there. If you don't want me to make it tough for you, then you better delete that damn picture and tell your friends to stop looking at my stuff, if you know what's best for you."

---

Bruh I have no thoughts anymore, it's currently 22:01 at my place so yeah I'd call it a night

read you guys in the next chapter :)

P.S. : Please tell me what p.s. stands for and second, please give me more ideas and motivation to continue.

Taglist: @tejas-kris

[campbells-content]

Bnha Frozen au

I wrote this awhile ago and i don't plan on finishing it

Okay, so, Izuku's parents died when he was born, Mitsuki and Inko were very close so he was raised as a brother to Bakugou.

Bakugou is basically a lava bender, turning rock to lava and vice versa. Also like telekinesis for the rocks and lava

They were close when they were little, causing mischief, turning the castle walls to tools and swords until Bakugou accidentally used his powers on Izuku and caused a really bad blistering scar on his arm that was slowly spreading.

Mitsuki was super mad but compromised with Masaru. After meeting with a pair of sorcerers that did the whole heal (the scar is there but it stopped spreading) and memory wipe, they locked Katsuki away, something he was okay with at the time but grew to hate.

More parents die, Katsuki comes of age, you know the movie.

Todoroki is a badguy. I'm sorry but in this au he is. At least he doesn't have a scar, yet. He just wants freedom, and is willing to do anything to get it. Taking advice from his older brother, he aims for the crown. He just bumps into Izuku first.

The public doesn't know for a fact that Izuku is adopted.

Denki is the weaseltown guy. Kinda but not really at all. He's also trying to woo the crown but for the sole reason of wooing the crown.

Aoyama is in the background having a tummy ache the whole coronation. He ate the chocolates knowing he was lactose intolerant.

Katsuki was wearing gloves under his ceremonial armor to keep from affecting anything around him. Y'know he gotta take off the gloves to do the whole thingy thing.

The officiant doesn't question the dents in the thingything after but he's real confused.

[thatonefatgumsimp]

it's 141am, I'm thinking about my version of Vigilante!Deku AU and having lil brain thoughts and writing everything down and I'm about to make it your problem!

(Under the cut, cw/tw: character death, cussing)

Everything is the same up until the sludge monster incident.

Izuku didn't go home just yet, he stayed and moped on the roof for a bit longer before heading home. When Izuku had heard what happened, he was shocked and sorry he didn't make it to help Katsuki, but he was glad that All Might had saved him…even if he'd pushed Izuku off the path of becoming a hero. Nonetheless, the greenette was still determined to help people!

The next part is set after Katsuki had taken the entrance exam at UA.

He came home one night soaking wet and covered in blood that was not his own. This had been happening all week, but Inko had just assumed Izuku had been getting beaten up and bullied like usual. She'd never suspected her son had become a vigilante until about the 6th night he'd come home like that. She confronted her son. "Wha- h-how did you-?" "Well for starters, dear, if you had lost that much blood in a week, you'd be dead so I figured that it's someone else's blood you've been coming home covered in. Secondly, your knuckles are bruising quite badly…let me fix those for you."

She was supportive and washed her son's vigilante outfit for him and bandaged his cuts and bruises.

Sure, Inko would've rathered her son become a hero or something more legal, but if being a vigilante and helping others made Izuku happy, then she was content.

Everything else at UA was the same except that Tetsutetsu had joined 1A, Shinso had joined 1B, and Tetsutetsu would eventually become part of the Bakusquad.

At first Izuku was on pretty neutral terms with Stain. They weren't friends, but they weren't enemies.

That was until Izuku learned he was killing heroes.

He tried to take him down, but ultimately ended up failing. Stain, in revenge, killed Izuku's mother.

So when Ingenium's little brother came for revenge after Stain went after the Hosu pro hero Ingenium, Izuku took his chance for revenge.

He helped one Iida Tenya who was in trouble and cause a little bit of commotion luring in a nearby, curious Shoto.

They all took down Stain, but Tenya had passed out. Shoto, after talking to the mysterious boy, left a note for Endeavor saying "I'll be back soon, old man, not that you care." and followed the greenette to his abandoned building hideout.

He followed him back to an abandoned building with a duffel bag full of clothes, a blow up mattress with an all might blanket and a pillow on it, a microwave, a TV, a phone charger, and an all might rug.

Izuku had let Shoto follow him here.

I: so why are you following me? S: who are you? I: A vigilante with a purpose, next question. S: if you're a vigilante, why were you helping us and not Stain? I: sweet cinnamon roll smile oh well that's easy! stare of death he killed my mom. S: oh- I: what about you? Aren't you Endeavor's son? S: I wish I wasn't… I: puts two cup noodles in the microwave wanna talk about it? S: …yeah…

awhile later after talking and eating

S: so you're telling me it doesn't matter if it's like his quirk cuz it's my quirk not his and I shouldn't really give a shit? I: exactly! Yknow if you ever feel like you wanna be a hero without all the restrictions, I could always use the help. S: no thanks…I think I'm gonna go back to UA and do it the right way just to spite my old man. I: OK, no problem! But if you change your mind, you know where to find me. S: thanks…I've never really been able to talk to anyone like this before… I: if you want, I can give you my number and we can text? S: yeah, that sounds good… I: and feel free to swing by anytime you'd like when you're in the area…just don't tell anyone about my hiding place or I'll slit your throat a mixed joke and threat S: OK, thanks

Shoto leaves and they gradually get closer until Izuku hears about a girl who was being held captive by the Shie Hassaki.

That's all I've written down so far, but basically eventually he saves Eri, she lives with him for a bit, then he's like "shit, sorry…I kinda put you in a lot of danger. You're a great kid and I'd love to keep taking care of you cuz you're the closest thing I've had to family in awhile, but you'll be safer with the heroes."

So Aizawa takes her and her things and comes back to take Izuku as well, but he packed his stuff and found a new abandoned building and Aizawa's just like "shit I just lost a feral green child, where do I find it-" and after a few more months, Eraser, Mic, and Midnight find him.

He refuses to be taken in so they use force with Midnight's quirk and basically give him and Eri their own dorm building.

They brought all his stuff dw.

And Bakugo sees him and is like "that's not the quiet shy boy I knew in middle school, that's a feral little shit, holy fuck what happened?"

Lo and behold he finds out about Inko's death cuz he and his family just thought they, like, moved or smthn and he's like "WTF?! HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS!"

Basically Aizawa adopts a feral gremlin street child except this child has teeth and will bite and is basically a glorified leash kid.

[charred-entiity]

A laugh bubbled out of Izuku's throat from his spot amongst rubble. It was not too dissimilar from the clash of titans he'd been a witness to the first time. 5 years ago.

"Sensei! It's been... Too long." A slight snarl dripped into the phrase. Of course All for One was behind the league. Of course he was still after All Might.

"You stupid, petty, bitch." Izuku was in front of All Might again. Deja vu washed over him in waves.

"Ah, Nine, it's you." All for One said deftly. He seemed annoyed if anything, that Izuku was repeating their last interaction.

"Sensei! Don't! He doesn't deserve to die!" Izuku stood in front of the hero who's name he hadn't even learned, his arms spread to block him.

"Shut up, Nine! You pathetic worm! I don't care if he deserves it, he has that fucking quirk, and it'll die with him! Move!" Sensei's tone was cold and venomous. If he gave in now, he still would have to face the basement or worse.

"No!" He couldn't be complacent in his own life anymore.

"What is with this defiance, Nine? I gave you everything! He's just some hero!" The exasperated behemoth said, as if he were scolding a child for bad grades.

"And you're just some villain! I won't stand here and watch you kill innocents anymore!" He could see it before it even made contact. Sensei was always prone to violence when it came to him.

A fist crashed against his face. It wasn't enough to take him down though. He was made to be a punching bag.

"don't you remember?" A sick smile came across Izuku's bloody face. A protrusion from the man's arms must've caught his skin again. It couldn't be too bad.

Another strike, the bulging of muscles alerted him to the active strength enhancers.

"you made me to withstand."

Another, he was obviously pulling his punches still. How many of these hits had Izuku taken before? Was sensei really that egotistical?

"Stay down, Nine." All for One struck him again, hard enough to make izuku's vision swirl like a kaleidescope, but he had yet to fall.

"That's not my name." Izuku swung a fist back. It was sloppy, only about half strength. It still managed to be an annoyance in any capacity.

"I don't have time for this Nine!"

"That's not my fucking name!" Izuku was on him in an instant. Pulling quirk after quirk from the man, using everything in his artillery.

Maybe if All for One was a smarter man— maybe if he focused on himself more than making puppets— maybe if he had done anything more than rely on quirks, he would've seen the enhanced bite coming for his throat. Maybe he would've seen the claws coming for his eyes. Maybe he would've expected his protege to go for the gut like he had.

But he hadn't.

Now he was dead.

Izuku had dreamed of this moment. Sure, his therapist was going to be pissed, but he couldn't find it in him to care. Izuku dragged himself off of the mans dead body. He lifted All Might's unconscious and otherwise concerningly frail form from the ground, the giant of a man barely contained in Izuku's arms. With two wing beats he'd made it to the EMTs.

[bestjeanistwife]

Ima tell y'all the killers and deaths in my death academia(my mha AU) and yes these are in order

Denki :cause of death? :shot. Killer? : tamaki

Mina :cause of death? :burnt alive. Killer? : nejire (before you say nejire doesn't have a fire quirk she locked Mina in a room with matches that were set off by nejire and there were spilled oils in the room and Mina accidentally stepped on a match while trying to get out which caused her to burn so yk.)

Bakugou :cause of death :unkown. Killer? : deku (the game)

Sero :cause of death? : accidental suicide. Killer? : himself. (Sero was getting ready to hang himself and he started to change his mind after he tied the rope to his neck and he attempted to get it off and failed as he fell and the chair fell too leaving sero in the air starting to choke which caused his death.)

Those are all the deaths I'm saying for now y'all!

[autumnmobile12]

Villain Deku AU

Most of the time when I see the Villain Deku AU, he's often crazy, and while I do love that concept, I really want to see more sarcastic, cinnamon roll 'Moxxie from Helluva Boss' vibes.

Shigaraki: And that's plan, any questions?

Deku: Uh, yeah, what was that?

Shigaraki: That wasn't a question, Deku.

Deku: That wasn't a plan.

...

Remember my League of Morons vs A Summer Camp post?

Deku can fix that.

Shigaraki: All right, smart ass, you think you can do better?

Deku: I actually can. Your first mistake is attacking the second night of the camp. Let them all have their summer camp fun. By the end of a single week of non-stop, hardcore training, they'll be exhausted and less likely to fight off a surprise attack efficiently. Now, before the camp begins, we'll need Spinner to drive out there. You're the only one of us who hasn't committed any significant crimes yet.

Spinner: Why is that important?

Deku: *smiling cheerfully* Because you're a civilian. The Wild, Wild Pussycats aren't going to think it's weird if a civilian drives up to their base asking for directions through the mountains. Just make sure you have nice, dead battery for your cell phone. Ooh, or you could park on the road with a low tank of gas and walk up to their base! That'll sell it.

Spinner: Sell what?

Deku: You're getting the exact coordinates of the building for Kurogiri, of course. Once we have that information, he can open warp gates beneath our target while he's asleep and let gravity do the rest.

Kurogiri: You suggest we strike at night?

Deku: Right. You want to kidnap Kaachan, so we do it covertly while everyone's asleep. After that, if you really want to send a message to the heroes, we can always seal up the doors and windows, then Mustard can gas the building. Or Dabi can burn it to the ground. Your choice. Painless death in their sleep or painful death by fire?

Dabi: ...holy fuck, that's insane.

All-For-One: *through the computer monitor* Intriguing proposition, Deku. I suppose you have a back-up plan in case something goes wrong.

Deku: About that, it's entirely possible one of the Pussycats or UA teachers will be on look-out and if that's the case, Eraserhead will be the biggest obstacle. Most of you rely extremely heavily on your Quirks. We'll have to work on that, but in our current time frame, doing so before the summer camp is not feasible. So we'll need to remove the one player who can nullify Quirks. That'll be Mr. Compress's job.

Compress: And how exactly will I do that?

Deku: You'll hit him with a surprise attack. Kurogiri will open a warp gate for you, and the second he does, then you strike. Simple.

Muscular: Yeah, and what about the rest of us?

Deku: You'll be on standby in case Compress fails or draws too much attention to himself. Now about our hostage situation...do we really want Kaachan?

Kurogiri: What do you mean?

Deku: Well I know Kaachan. Despite his violent tendencies, he does have a strong sense of justice and he won't be easy to corrupt. Might I suggest taking the heteromorph students instead? Given society's discrimination problem against what they call the 'non-human' types, they've already got a reason for dissatisfaction with how they've been treated since they were born. Oh, and we should take Yaoyorozu Momo, too.

All: ....why?

Deku: She's rich. Her Quirk is infinitely useful, of course, but even if we can't convince her to join the League, her family will pay us a hefty ransom to get her back. For the record, so will Endeavor if we abduct his youngest son, too. Or we could just ransom the oldest one if all else fails.

Dabi: How the fuck did you know?!

Deku: ...Todoroki Touya allegedly burned up in a massive forest fire and the body was never found. You have a fire Quirk and horrific, full body burn scars and are the age he would have been today. It's not rocket science.

Shigaraki: ...this brat just hijacked my entire plan.

...

He'd quickly become the Bilbo Baggins of LoV, the one who's solving all the problems right up until they get to the fight with Gigantomachia, at which point he says, "No, I'm not helping you this time. He's gotta respect you, this is your quest. I'm not the fighting type, so I'll just sit back and watch." Proceeds to sit quietly and take notes while observing the fight.

Dabi also wasn't helping out with that fight, so every now and then he checks in on their progress. He just shows up, mildly entertained and mostly annoyed by the collective ineptitude (not that he's any better,) and he walks up to Deku.

Dabi: So how many ways have you thought of to defeat him?

Both: *duck as Spinner goes flying over them*

Deku: ...47. How's that recruitment process going? Because you're starting to look way more useful as a bargaining chip for ransom.

Dabi: Says the guy who's just sitting here.

[undergoing-mitosis]

okay, hear me out: a death note x bnha au where matt is izuku's older brother

[jamiethebee]

(In which I spiral down a rabbit hole with Midoriya that has little to do with @codenamesazanka 's original post that started this (x).  FYI I sorta separated Deku/Izuku to indicate Deku as the hero and Izuku as the person outside of heroics.)

I started thinking about this post again (see the link above) and how Deku doesn’t really understand that non-perfect or sanitized victims exist AND still need to be saved and not by destruction. (The "maybe killing someone does save them" thing is a great way to assuage guilt but it's a stupid copout.)  Deku (hero) and more importantly Izuku (person) doesn’t really understand that though because he WAS a “perfect” victim.  Midoriya stayed quiet and inconspicuous and didn’t make a fuss about the bullying or discrimination he faced, he just kept his head down and hoped that something would change without any real effort on his part.  And if he had died as a result from the bullying he would’ve been hailed as an unfortunate victim (of who? or what? Don’t worry - isn’t his death so tragic? oh well now on to our next news story -), so any critique of society and the individuals who reinforce the status quo don’t actually have to do anything.  I know there’s more nuance here and lot of cultural things happening with this all but I’m not gonna dig into that right now.

Moving on!  Quite frankly the boy didn’t live long enough to get out of his childish mindset and get some “righteous" anger at the wrongdoings and failings of society.  All Might came along when he was still starry eyed and hopeful to lift Midoriya out of the trajectory of his life and Izuku never had any time to get to the point where he comes to terms with the hurt caused society’s rejection of his self and get angry about it.  As such, he can’t understand the league.  It probably doesn’t even occur to him that he's missing that understanding because for him it worked out - he got the attention and support to be able to escape the circumstances of his birth/quirklessness and to leave the box (deku) that society shoved him in. Twice and Toga never had that support – they both lived how they needed to in order to survive in a world not meant for them until they broke down.  (Maybe that's why Vigilante Deku AUs were so popular back in the day - they speedran Midoriya past the hopeful kid stage and to a point where a lot of the fanbase was in their own lives - seeing the issues in the world and wanting to affect change.)

Izuku, for all that he claims to want to connect to the villains, hasn’t given enough thought or empathy to understand how continuing to live a life where you don’t fit in with society can be deeply hurtful as well as the emotional repercussions of having unchangeable parts about yourself be reviled.  This isn’t to say Izuku had it easy -  of course Izuku went through hardships but.... there’s a big difference between living through stuff as a kid and finding a way out of it vs living through that, growing up, maturing, and in turn looking critically at society.  But I can’t bring myself to fault Midoriya for those exact reasons because he's just a kid. He doesn’t have the perspective to see outside of himself – at least not for the villains.  Because that seems to be too far of a stretch for him?  But Todoroki was close enough to Izuku’s mindset for him to help back in the sports festival arc.  I also acknowledge that he's a teenager and IS capable of critical thinking, but from what we've seen, his schools have never actually made the students examine the world they live in - which is a different skill from quirk analysis or historical or literary analysis or the various writing exercises that students go through. 

(Believe me – you can have the brightest kid but, most of the time, unless you point out the shortcomings of their mindsets, it won’t occur to them to look further.  (Not necessarily assuming that they’re wrong, but rather that their consideration of life is not as expansive as it should be. Especially for a kid wanting to be the greatest hero and save everyone.)  For example: many abled bodied people don’t realize how inaccessible places can be until someone brings it up to them or they find themselves in that situation (like a temporary crutch or wheelchair).  It’s through no fault of the able bodied person that they weren’t aware enough to consider it in the first place, but what they do once they realize physical accessibility is an issue, is on them.)  Back to the point – hero society never calls attention to it’s own shortcomings despite the proof quite obviously existing and the people within society don’t seem to spare much thought either. The adults who have seen more of these instances are then of course more culpable in this than the kids who haven't.

So, Midoriya was also failed by society (cough all might cough) as well, but he chose the hero path - to save people. We see him starting to consider the deeper issues in his talk with Uraraka, and the few times he “tries” to talk to various villains shows that he is aware enough of underlying issues - which makes it his duty as a hero to do something about it.  In that way, he is at fault. He chose a profession to devote his life to that should require this of him.  And through his hero work, Midoriya has seen the problems in society and yet he’s chosen to turn away from them (and by problems/them I’m referring to the villains “too far gone to save” and the issues they represent). 

(Sorry Midoriya, but considering we’re nearing the end and you haven’t shown any growth in this area….. I am faulting you for metaphorically pushing your head in the sand.  I do want to be wrong though.  I really want the kid to prove me wrong.)

And he’s able to turn away from them guilt free, in part, because he’s gotten the proverbial thumbs up by his classmates that it’s ok and that they’ll just be better and be model minority heroes and that will fix the problem! Because they’re positive representation!  Or something?  If you can put your mind to it that will fix things! Just try harder! Again, very idealistic but they are kids, so it comes with the territory.  (Horikoshi didn’t have to make them unquestionably right in that approach though.  Toga and Uraraka coming together for the win! The Shoji and Spinner match up not so much.)

Overall, there’s something about how Deku still fit into society's boxes in an acceptable way and never truly faced what existing outside of "acceptability" was like.  Don’t get me wrong it’s tough to live in the mha world as a quirkless person and of course it has its problems and restrictions, but that’s still a box that society provides for, even if the society in question doesn’t like it. 

And I'm not saying that Izuku had to live through a terrible life to understand the villains!  Just that, he has the capacity to look outside himself and be empathetic, but the application of it is lacking, despite knowing there’s problems, despite having LIVED with some of those problems. Extrapolate, boy!!!! You don't need empathy to reach out to others but the whole compassionate/kind Midoriya thing has been touted since the beginning! So I want to see it!

(Not sure how much sense this will make to people, but there’s a maturity that comes about with either time or certain circumstances that can be hard to grasp unless you’ve lived through it.  And quite frankly, Midoriya hasn’t. He went from a perfect/acceptable victim to the top tier of society (heroes).)

(Basically: Midoriya never **matured in the restrictive environment he grew up in and can't emotionally connect with the league who did, because of that. Instead he seems to have internalized the "if they were better" or "if they were truly good" then there wouldn't be a problem because just look at his classmater!, so villains being villains is their own fault and no one else is culpable.)

**centers on the idea that someone starts off as hopeful in regards to their discriminated position in life and over time matures to understand how society supports that discrimination and come to terms with the hurt that it's caused them personally (and in this case to fight back against it)

also, if you made it this far, i'm just having a fun time reading codenamesazanka's posts about the latest chapters

[talyns-fanfics]

Hear me out. How about an MHA AU where the heroes constantly fail it’s young heroes and the people in danger.

This could be taken in multiple different ways. Deku becomes a villain, Bakugo was never saved in season 2, Todoroki puts a lock on his fire permanently. The list could honestly go on, but I wanna focus on two specific characters. Eri and Nejire.

I saw an edit on Tik Tok comparing the Big Three of UA to Aizawa, Mic, Shirakumo when they were at UA. The edit compared Nejire to Shirakumo, and honestly I haven’t been the same since.

Ok, picture this: Mirio and Deku never run into Eri, and therefore have no clue of her existence. Without that fated meeting, the heroes wouldn’t have been able to think of a plan to save her from Overhaul. Instead, Nejire goes snooping around with zero protection or even backup. She has a run in with the 8 bullets of the Hassaikai, leading to her death.

Overhaul, impressed by her Quirk and her fighting capabilities, brings her back to life, but she’s not the same. She had lost all memories of being a hero-in-training and beforehand. She’s like a completely blank canvas but with a strong power. Overhaul assigns her to the job of watching over and protecting Eri from any outside threat. Nejire, who sees this man as her savior, agrees to his demands as repayment for her life.

Practically making Nejire and Eri their own versions of Kurogiri and Shigaraki…

[antiwhores]

My dock - human!Bakugou x Mermaid!Reader

Part 1?

Part 2

Part 3

Y/n, a curious mermaid with a knack for trouble meets a human named Bakugou Katsuki. Bakugou, a curious human also with a knack for trouble meets a mermaid named y/n. Interspecies relationships- and even friendships are not allowed in the Mer-creature kingdom. And if people found out Mermaids are real then Y/n would be fish food. Love is hard as fuck.

Quirkless au cause im not tryna deal with him rn, eventual smut, near death experience, suggestive themes, violence, multiple parts.

Sorry ive been gone, im depressed and dont find joy in anything anymore LOL

You first met the blonde human when you were swimming near the shore. You obviously went supposed to be doing that but you were curious. You wanted to see humans even though the danger they hold could kill you.

He was walking on a bridge- well, more like stomping. He looked absolutely pissed, red face with steam practically radiating off of him. He was mumbling things under his breath that you couldn’t make out.

You left after a while of watching him, the sun was setting and you had to go home and catch fish.

The next time you saw him he was lounging by a doc in your special spot. Your beach was in the woods, secluded off unless you knew where you were going. There was a round, yet deep swimming area that sparkled a beautiful light blue. There was also a waterfall that was pretty high up. It was a magical place that you were glad to claim.

You watched from behind a big rock as he fed the ducks. He had a whole loaf of bread that he would break off into small pieces to aggressively throw at the ducks.

You called a duck over with a water wave made by your tail. Most mer-creature could talk to a selective few of animal.

“Who is he?” You whispered. The duck cackled, “Just some human boy. He comes here to feed us every day.” You asked for his name but the duck just flapped his wings. “I think his name was Katsu? I dont know, I’ll try to listen in.”

You thanked the duck and let him go fight for his snack.

Katsu? You thought that name rolled nicely off the tongue.

You continued to watch him from secluded areas for the next 3 weeks. You almost got caught a few times. He would hear you speak a little too loud or make too big of a splash and he would yell “WHOS THERE?” It started you enough each time to not come look for a whole day.

One day when you went up to look for him he wasn’t alone. He was at beach side of it this time with a couple other humans. One with red hair, one with green hair, pink hair, and brown hair. You picked up on their names after a while. Kirishima, Midoriya/Deku (?), Mina, and Uraraka. Later on some more named Kaminari and Iida showed up.

You watched them play around and practically beat each other up. Humans are so weird.

Apparently, Katsu lost a bet. Well, you learned his name was also Bakugou, Katsuki, and Kacchan. You’ll stick to Katsu since theres so many.

Kirishima dared Bakugou to jump off of the water fountain. You almost yelped out a protest once Bakugou agreed. It wasn’t safe! There were weeds at the bottom which would grab you and never let go! You had been working on getting rid of them all but there were still a few left.

And just as you thought, once he jumped he was stuck. You watched as he struggled under the grip of the weeds. You couldn’t just let him die! Before you knew it you were swimming over there full speed.

He looked at you threw wide eyes, you could tell he was loosing his breath. He tried to say something but only bubbles came out. You grabbed his face ad signaled for him to open his mouth. He did almost immediately, he must’ve been getting desperate.

You shoved your mouth against his, blowing air into his mouth which he greedily sucked up. You weren’t supposed to do that and you knew you’d be questioned and scolded for even letting a human know you existed. It was called the eternal breath. It allowed him to breath and talk under water with out it being drowned out for up to five minutes depending on how much you blew.

You signaled for him to breath and he gave you a crazy look. His cheeks were flustered and he didn’t know what to do. You hoped that wasn’t his first kiss or something, even though it was yours. You leaned into his ear and whispered, “Trust me Katsu.”

A wave of relief hit you once he did it. He looked at you in bewilderment, “What the fuck?! What the FUCK?!” You flinched but still made you way down to his feet. “You have a fucking tail?! What the fuck is going on?!” You shook your head, “No I don’t.” “What the FUCK!?”

You cut him free with your nails and signaled for him to go. He shook his head, “No! What kind of shit is this?! You have a tail!” You groaned, started to blush at the way he looked at you. He was even more handsome up close like this. “Either you leave or your gonna die in 1 minute once my breath wears out.”

You heard him yell after you once you began to swim away. You hid behind the entrance just to make sure he got up okay. You were on the verge of tears, you could get in so much trouble. What if he’s a bad guy and he’s gonna call his human hunters on you?

You practically gasped when he decided not to tell anyone of you. His friends crowded him, some in tears asking if he was okay. He just swatted them away and told them to fuck off. On that note you left.

You didn’t come back for 2 weeks. You were scared of coming back to traps and spears. The ducks reported to you instead. He has been coming every single day and staying for not just his usual 10 minutes but 3 hours. He sits there studying the water and calling out to any sudden movement from nature.

You couldn’t help your curiosity after that and the next day you showed up to watch him. You watched as he ate from his basket of what you think is called… Fruits? He lounged on the dock with no shirt on. His skin was tanned and golden.

You practically jumped once he called out to you. “Hey!” You dove back behind the rock. He rose to his feet, “No, no, no! Come back!” You slowly peaked behind the rock. He smirked, whispering “I knew you were real” before holding out a red fruit. “I got this for you.”

You came out behind the rock more to study the apple. You hissed at him thinking it was poisonous. He gave you an offended look, “What’re you scared of a fucking apple? Look.” He took a huge bite out of the thing and chewed. You watched closely as he swallowed it. “See?”

You sighed and finally just swam over to him. He sat down right off the edge and held the apple out to you. You quickly grabbed it and swam as fast as you could behind the rock.

You took a suspicious bite, it was… delicious! He chuckled as your face lit up. You took another bite, giving him a quizzical look. “Come here, ill give you another one.” You hesitantly swan over to him. But just as you were about to grab the apple he yanked it above his head. “Tell me your name.”

You glared at him, crossing your arms around your chest. “You can have all my fruits if you tell me your name.” You thought about it for a second. You could be hunted down for this. And you could be in deep shit if the council found out. But for some reason, you trusted this man.

A loud huff came out of your mouth, “y/n.”

[farawayfroppy]

Evergreen – Can I get lost in your mind if I let you get lost inside mine?

part 1 ↣ part 2

izuku midoriya x reader

cw: aged up characters, pro-hero au, lots and lots of angst, some canon-typical violence and deaths, Izuku experiences triggers, panic attacks, and nightmares, Reader has a dream-altering quirk, adult language, Reader is referred to as she/her. i see a lot of myself in midoriya so i gave him the therapy that i need

14k words

Hi all! This is part 1 of my Izuku Midoriya fanfic, Evergreen. This has been so long in the making. I am posting this first chapter to see what people think! Please, like and reblog if you enjoyed! Izuku is a very interesting character study, and I hope I can make you feel something. xoxo, Jean

Something's different today.

Izuku could sense it when he woke before the shrill cry of his alarm rang out–the first one, not the second–and groaned as he rolled over to turn it off before it got the chance to sound. He somehow felt lighter, more awake than usual, with the customary deep aching in his body feeling less like a roar and more like the soft grumble of a stomach gone a couple of hours unfed. No nightmares, he realized. No painful flashes of memory, prophecies of horrors to come, bloodshed he couldn't prevent. In fact, he'd had a dream, a flashback to his days at UA that didn't involve terror or loss. He and his friends were gathered around a fireplace eating a pumpkin pie, courtesy of Sato. Dreaming like that was so uncommon, he had almost started to believe it was altogether impossible.

He sighed deeply at the thought, and couldn't help when the edges of his lips turned up into a sleepy grin when his large exhale didn't rattle in his chest like it usually would. In the soft glow of the dawn, Izuku felt almost peaceful, safe enough to be ignorant and ignorant enough to experience bliss. He rarely, if ever, got the opportunity to feel such a thing, opting instead to dwell—to improve, he would say. He had always believed that one can never stop trying to be better, but somewhere along the way, that sentiment shifted into "One can never stop." Deku, of all people, could never stop. So Izuku couldn't either, but he was trying to reprogram. He needed to slow down.

When he finally roused himself awake enough to sit up, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes before unceremoniously tossing the blanket from his body. His legs swung out over the edge of the bed and he rose to stand, more eager than usual to start his day. What usually felt like going through the motions somehow felt like ceremony, like a ritual for the betterment of the self. He found himself delighted at the smallest of things: the perfect amount of toothpaste on his toothbrush, the toast that didn't tear apart when he added butter, the song that came on shuffle as he began his morning workout. When was the last time the monotony of life felt like a gift instead of a curse? Izuku couldn't say.

It was a rare day off, which meant he would get a chance to run a few errands, maybe even watch that movie Mina had been pestering him about. He vaguely remembered something about it being "so good, holy shit." He chuckled at the memory, filing the idea away for later. First, he would have to run to the store for a couple things, some needs and some wants.

His therapist had expressed that he needed to be more in tune with his wants, even if he had to start small. He needed to unlearn the guilt and resist the urge to neglect his desires altogether if he ever hoped to get back to feeling whole again.

"Invite joy into your life," she'd advised, but Izuku still struggled with the idea of doing things for the sake of himself.

Even things he enjoyed had become twisted into things that felt like necessities: exercise, eating right, helping people. As a hero, those things were integral to his success, which was integral to the stability of the community he served. It was easier to keep putting water into an empty stomach; he didn't want to unpack all of the things that made it growl.

Izuku could however, at the very least, watch a movie his friend suggested, or maybe even try that new bakery people at the agency kept recommending. Ever the early riser, he liked places that opened for breakfast, and as much as he hated to admit it, he also had quite the sweet tooth.

Before heading out, he needed to shower, which was undoubtedly his favorite part of any day. It was grounding; it made him feel real. He could feel and remember how the water had cascaded over his head, down his back, across his fingertips. His eyes liked to trace the water down the drain, wondering how small he needed to shrink to follow it. He wondered what everything was for, needed to drown himself in reality, in reverence of memories. Count the shower tiles, count sheep, count blessings, even when it felt impossible. It often did. There was so much loss in the world. He'd seen it, felt it, been powerless to stop it. No wonder he couldn't dream properly, only remember and regret.

Izuku knew what his problem was, he'd talked extensively about it in therapy after his mom noticed that her son was fading away right in front of her eyes. He even tried to study it like he would any villain, but that was exactly it: he always wanted to rehabilitate. He settled himself among the outcasts, the villains, those who needed him the most because they got the least. He convinced himself they just needed to be sat with and shown love. Be it a villain or a slew of bad feelings, he needed to take them all in. He made himself responsible for them, and in return they devoured him. He needed to slow down.

Letting the warmth of the water rush over him, Izuku began to wash his body, hoping to scrub away any lingering sadness that had mixed with his sweat. Once finished, he retrieved his towel and patted himself dry, feeling better now that he was clean on the outside and centered within. He threw on the clothes he had laid out, a grey hoodie and some sweats, staring straight into the mirror as he steeled himself to face the public. He pulled a hat on over his still wet hair, hoping that hiding his signature green head of curls would be enough to keep people at bay.

It wasn't like he didn't appreciate the support he was given; in fact, it was quite the opposite. He just wished to move silently through his business like anyone else, eternally nervous about causing a commotion. Even after years of hero work, it was hard for him to come to terms with the fact that people genuinely wanted to know him. His therapist often had to remind him that it's partially because he had the pleasure of knowing himself as Izuku first, before Deku, before being any sort of figure at all. Not that he felt like Deku was someone else entirely, he just accepted that his hero persona was more aptly described as an amplification of himself, an exaggeration of all of his best parts. That side of him wouldn't function in any other context, and Izuku often found himself floundering when the lines blurred.

However, it was time to face the masses. He rolled his shoulders back a couple times in a last ditch effort to calm himself before grabbing a few reusable shopping bags from the shelf beside his door, turning the handle, and leaving the sanctity of his apartment. The fortress of solitude. Not quite the glimmering, crystal palace people might expect from a pro-hero, but he preferred that. Izuku liked his snug little hole in the wall apartment, with its peeling wallpaper, broken baseboards, and squeaky floors that helped him to feel safe. He couldn't remember the last time he wasn't on high alert, constantly on guard from an impending doom he couldn't place or name. He just knew that he preferred being tucked away in the heart of the city, contrary to the insistence of agency executives who would constantly try to tell him he'd be happier elsewhere, "That new penthouse on 6th Street, maybe."

And maybe he would; he's nothing if not adaptable, but high-rise life wasn't really his style. The last time some big wig handed him the keys to some fancy new apartment, he passed them right along to his secretary. Izuku figured she needed it much more than he did and unbeknownst to her, he'd been paying for it ever since. He didn't spend money on much besides necessities: food, rent, utilities. Dropping a couple thousand a month on someone who genuinely deserved it also felt like a necessity, or maybe just like the obvious choice. So he did.

Now, as he set out for the market, he made a mental note of what he needed. Hoping he could get in and out as quickly as possible, he mulled over his list while turning to lock his front door, subconsciously nodding as each item crossed his mind.

He jiggled the door handle to make sure it was locked, once and then twice, then startled at a sudden voice from beside him.

"Song in your head?"

Izuku turned quickly, coming face to face with you, his next door neighbor, who seemed to be leaving in a rush. At least, if the hurried locking of your door was anything to go by.

"Oh, no," he managed to mumble, "Just thinking."

He hadn't officially met you yet; you had only moved in about a month prior. The elderly woman who previously lived next to him had been moved into a care home by her family. She was a nice woman, but he could tell that her mental faculties had been wearing down for some time. Izuku was sad to see her go, as he had regularly helped her carry groceries from the parking lot up to her apartment, when he caught her. She was a compassionate lady, always thanking him with tea or a story about her cat, Larry. He wondered what would become of the old cat.

He'd hoped his new neighbor would be kind like the last tenant, or at the very least, considerate. He already appreciated that you seemed to live quietly, like him. Mostly, he was just surprised to see someone awake as early as he was, wondering what kind of business could've had you up so early in the morning. You had a pretty face, but he could see you looked tired. Maybe it was just a trick of the light, but it seemed like your eyes hid the same exhaustion he often saw in his own.

You hummed, offering a small smile as you spoke, "You're a full-body thinker."

He didn't really know what to say to that, so he just returned your grin with a tight-lipped smile of his own and a small nod. You wished him a good day and swiftly disappeared down the hallway, and he reciprocated before checking his lock one last time– for good measure.

As he left his apartment building, Izuku found himself over-analyzing the interaction he'd had with you. He wished he was a better conversationalist, but that was nothing new. You were right; he is definitely a full-body thinker, which unfortunately meant his time processing words, thoughts, and actions was often prolonged. It also took a lot out of him. No one would believe it by looking at him, but pro-hero Deku had actually become quite the introvert. However, Izuku wasn't sure if that was a natural reaction to his spending long periods of time alone, or just the fatigue and mellowing that came with age. He figured the slow processing thing was a symptom of all his hero work, a reset after constantly moving and thinking so quickly.

Regardless, you had taken the time to speak to him so early in the morning, despite being so obviously exhausted and in a hurry. Maybe you were just being polite, but in a way it felt nice to be noticed for something other than being a hero. It felt nice to have something noticed about him, about Izuku, that had nothing to do with his status. If he saw you again, he would try his best to return that same courtesy.

His walk to the supermarket was short, which was yet another thing he loved about where his home was situated. He felt like he was right in the middle of a community that was always bustling with life. Despite his reservations about being among them, it was well-known that Izuku had always taken an interest in the lives of the people around him. Not only was it his job to care for them, but an intrinsic part of him that had been present since his birth. He didn't know any different.

After his short journey, Izuku found himself meandering through the aisles of the market with a shopping cart, loading it up with as much as he could. He wasn't really sure when he would have the time or energy to make it back out for groceries. A lot of times, his sweet mother would bring him care packages with food and anything she thought he might need, but he enjoyed the act of shopping for himself when he could. He considered himself lucky to have such a doting mother, but always wanted her to know that he was fine on his own as well. He assumed he got his anxious nature from her, but he knew better than anyone that there is a lot to be anxious about in the world. Big bad wolves.

He ended up with quite the haul, fresh fruit and vegetables as well as various proteins and carbohydrates. He also made sure to grab some non-perishables that could stand the test of time, just in case. He even threw in their most expensive bottle of wine, thinking of no better way to invite joy into his life than a nice glass with dinner. His therapist would be proud.

Izuku finished up in the store and realized he would have to awkwardly pack mule everything he had bought back to his house, but once it was all situated inside the bags he had brought with him, it wasn't really a problem. Obviously, he received a few odd glances, but he wasn't sure if it was out of recognition or awe at the amount of stuff he was carrying at once. Maybe both. He walked a bit faster on his way back, not because the groceries were heavy, just because they were so unwieldy and hard to get a good grip on. He felt like the circulation to his fingers was being lessened by the second.

When he finally reached his door, he set everything down beside him while he unlocked it, planning to put everything away and then head right back out. That new bakery he wanted to try was only a ten or fifteen minute walk in the other direction, and he was eager to get going. In hindsight, he could have just gone there first, but he wanted to get the more tedious task out of the way first. He often found that made the interesting tasks easier to enjoy.

Once inside, he set about putting everything where it belonged, and soon enough, he had restocked his kitchen. He sent his mother a quick text to let her know he had managed to get to the store, snapping a picture of the wine he had purchased and promising to let her know how it was later. She responded almost immediately, like always, with a string of smiling emojis. He chuckled as he shoved his phone back into his pocket and grabbed his keys to set out once again. Moms and emojis.

The journey to the bakery was more of the same. Izuku enjoyed the chill, morning air as he walked past the few people who were out so early in the day. Hands in his pockets, head down, eyes up and wandering, he made his way down the sidewalk until coming upon the storefront he had been looking for. He'd already eaten breakfast, but he had been waiting all morning to get his hands on some sort of warm pastry. Hopefully something with pumpkin, since his sweet dream had basically left his mouth watering at the thought.

A small bell jingled from above as he swung open the door to the cozy shop. He immediately moved to rub his hands together in an attempt to warm them up as he fell in line behind the only other person in the store. In his haste to scan both the menu and the case of baked goods in front of him, he almost missed it. Well, he almost missed you.

There you stood, working at the register, and it suddenly made sense why you were up so early in the morning. He felt nervous, not wanting to repeat the awkwardness from before, but settled down once your eyes landed on him. You gave him a warm smile that could only be described as genuine, and seemed almost excited that he was there. Once the other customer stepped out of line, Izuku took his place to order.

"Hey, thinker," you quipped, causing him to chuckle softly, putting his hands up in mock defeat.

"Hello again," he said, "still no song in my head, but I've been dreaming about eating something with pumpkin."

You laughed sincerely at that, moving from your spot at the register to direct his attention to some of the options in the bakery case.

"You're in luck," you began. "Pumpkin is in season right now. We have some pumpkin scones, pumpkin bread, pumpkin muffins, and even some pumpkin croissants, courtesy of yours truly."

Izuku nodded along as you rattled off the options, meeting your eye in time for you to mutter, "Pumpkin doesn't sound like a real word anymore."

He laughed openly at that and ordered one of the pumpkin croissants, just to see what they were like. You complimented his selection as you carefully grabbed it from the case and placed it into a small paper bag.

"Alright," you said, "One pumpkin croissant will be $2.50,"–you opened the register before immediately slamming it shut again–"but for you it costs nothing."

He felt his brow furrow in confusion as you held the bag out expectantly, waiting for him to take it.

"T-that's kind, but won't be necessary," he sputtered. "I have $2.50 right here," Izuku added, removing the correct amount of money from his wallet and offering it to you.

"No can do; this one is on the house," you said with some finality. "Consider it a neighborly gift."

He swallowed thickly, but smiled, shoving the cash back into his wallet. Your fingers brushed his own as he accepted the bag with a small bow of thanks.

"At least tell me your name for when I return the favor somehow," he pleaded.

You grinned, smacking your head lightly as you said, "Oh, duh! I'm Y/N."

"Y/N," he replied, trying out the name. "It's nice to properly meet you. I'm–"

You cut him off, "I know." You then paled slightly as you continued with some embarrassment. "Not in a weird way! It's honestly a long story. I just want to do what I can for people who deserve it, I guess. God, I am rambling, but I really and truly don't expect anything from you."

He watched as you laughed nervously and awkwardly scratched the back of your neck. Once again, he'd been left at a loss for words, only managing a soft, "Oh," before processing all that you had said.

"Well, thank you," Izuku said finally. "I appreciate this."

You waved him off with a comical salute before turning your attention to welcoming a new customer into the store, once the soft dinging of the door bell signaled her entrance.

As he left the shop, Izuku felt lighter once again, moved by the kindness of a now not-so-stranger.

"Y/N," he mumbled, shaking his head slightly with a small smile. "Pumpkin..." he tried the word for himself, "yeah, no. Not real," he laughed.

Izuku ate as he walked, and tried not to let himself think too hard about what you had said. It was easy to gather how you'd known who he was, but for how long? When did you realize? He supposed he should just be grateful that you seemed sincere in your desire to simply do something nice; he'd met his fair share of stalkers, well-meaning but slightly unhinged fans, and straight up villains posing as devotees in order to get at him. If you were any sort of villain, you had to be the worst at it. All time worst, in fact, so he knew that wasn't the case. Stalker? Maybe, considering you knew where he lived, but in the month or so you had lived next-door you hadn't even made an attempt to introduce yourself. Once again, all time worst, if that was the case. He hated how conditioned he was to think about those things, but it came with the job.

Regardless, nothing about you made Izuku feel like he needed to be on his guard. If anything, he just wanted to be...better. Something about you made him want to be better. At the very least, he regretted not taking more time getting dressed in the morning, but you didn't seem like the type to care.

He hummed at the taste of the pastry you had made and basked in the thought that you might just be a person he should get to know. He wanted to prove all the good things he imagined about you, to search your being and find a friendly soul that was as pleasant as your face, or to discover aspects of your nature that were even better than what he could imagine. How long had it been since he met someone new, someone who had nothing to do with work? He convinced himself that a new friend would be good for him. It was either that or accepting that he was starved of a womanly presence in his life that wasn't his mother. Definitely a possibility.

Once he returned to the sanctity of his apartment, Izuku rid himself of his shoes and collapsed onto the couch. He let the quiet stillness of his living room overtake him, slowly willing himself to relax as the familiarity of his surroundings worked to cleanse his mind of any lasting, outside-world anxiety. He focused on what he could see: beige wall, black couch, white pillows, sage rug. Beige wall, black couch, white pillows, sage rug. Beige wall, black couch, white pillows...

Izuku breathed deeply and allowed himself to sink further into his couch, slipping his phone from his pocket to send a text to his mother about the new bakery. He decided against mentioning the nice cashier who gave him a free pastry, lest mommy dearest get any ideas, but encouraged her to go there herself.

"Pumpkin is in season right now," she messaged back, and he grinned, his mind instantly conjuring an image of you saying the same thing.

He replied with a pumpkin emoji that he knew would bring a smile to her face and delighted when she messaged back with her own string of emojis. Izuku really did love his mother, even when he could barely understand what she was trying to say through her odd combinations of tiny emoticons. When he bought her a new phone, that was the feature she was most excited about.

"They're cute! Now, I can type with little pictures instead of words," he recalled her saying, and the rest was history.

He slipped his phone back into his pocket and sighed, wondering where to even begin with the rest of his day. Funnily enough, once he decided, it seemed like it was over in a flash. One minute he's making lunch, and the next it's ten o'clock at night and he's sobbing over that damn movie Mina had suggested, two (heaping) glasses of wine deep and thinking that really was so good, holy shit. He should've known he wouldn't make it through without crying; there was a dog on the cover.

Nevertheless, Izuku gathered himself up, wiped his eyes a few more times, and washed his glass before tucking it snugly back into the cabinet. He wasn't necessarily tired, but he knew he needed sleep. It was back to work tomorrow, a new week full of new challenges. And opportunities, he tried to remind himself. Always opportunities.

He double checked that his door was locked before padding to the bathroom, washing his face and brushing his teeth. His eyes met his own as he gazed into his reflection, and he bit his lip as he tried not to worry about his nearing sleep. He didn't consider himself lucky–or perhaps deserving–enough to expect two restful nights in a row, but prayed to whatever or whoever that maybe he could swing it. One more night without nightmares. One more night full of dreams. Please.

Izuku opened his phone one last time before bed, sending a simple "wine was good" text to his mother despite knowing she was probably asleep already. He liked to let her know he was thinking of her. As his eyes closed, he let his mind wander back to the bakery. It was a trick he'd picked up from his therapist: focus on the good, focus on the senses. Give them space, give them a name. It helped him fall asleep, so he began. He could taste the saccharine fluff of the pastry. He could hear the jingling of the door bell, smell the sweetness in the air, and feel the brush of your fingers against his own. On the backs of his eyelids, he could almost make out your face...

——

You heard it before you saw it.

With your eyes closed and body long settled into your own slumber, your ears caught the soft but unmistakable jingle of the bell above the bakery's door. And suddenly, you were transported from your bedroom and back into the cozy shop where you worked. However, you didn't stir, only opened your eyes to your dreaming in this threshold consciousness to which you'd become accustomed, and you watched the scene unfold from a new perspective. Izuku Midoriya's perspective. You were in his dreams once again.

You looked down at your large hands–much larger than your own–as you pulled them from your hoodie and rubbed them together to create some heat. On them you saw scars healing at various stages, callouses, burns even, from work that wasn't your own. You felt chilled from being outside, shifting your weight from one foot to the other as you stared at a menu you knew you had memorized, but now you saw it with new eyes. And then, you saw yourself.

It was strange, but inside this body you inhabited you didn't sense any aversion. Izuku felt almost...giddy as the past you opened your mouth to speak to him. You felt for yourself exactly when his heart began to beat just a bit faster, heard his thinking as his mind analyzed and reanalyzed his every word. He was dreaming of you, replaying your meeting and wishing he had been different. It made you–the real you, let's call it your soul–sad to experience. Over and over, he replayed the memory, but slightly differently each time, and you could feel it: the loneliness, the yearning. And suddenly, you were dying of thirst in a desert wasteland, freezing to death in a place without heat, a flame being smothered, Izuku, crying in his apartment, alone. You were him, and you were alone. And it was unbearable.

You knew that his heart wasn't specifically calling to you, but damn if it wasn't calling out to somebody, anybody. So you answered. You did what you could. Instead of a desert, you showed him an oasis. You gave him fire where he once was freezing, and oxygen where his flame had been dying out. He was no longer crying alone, just alone. Alone but content was the best you could do for the night. You remembered how he joked that he'd been dreaming about pumpkin, and how you had known it wasn't really a joke because you had sent him that vision. He had dreamt about that moment because you didn't want him to see the alternative. But you saw it, heard the rattled gasps of last breaths, felt the tears that had streamed from Izuku's eyes. Everything.

Eventually, your face returned to his eyes without your doing, and the jingling of the bell at the bakery returned, only to grow louder and louder until it pierced reality and you woke with a start. You breathed heavily as you found yourself in your own body, your own apartment, listening to your own alarm.

"Izuku," you whispered, furrowing your brow as you prayed desperately that you had done enough to let him rest, to bring him some semblance of peace.

——

The next day saw Izuku pleasantly surprised; he had dreamt again, and he had dreamt of you. His cheeks heated slightly at the thought, but he reasoned that he had little to no control over his unconscious mind. That was abundantly clear. Thankfully, after his second night of relative peace in a row, he felt relieved and reenergized.

Work went relatively smooth like always. He never really dreaded the paperwork like some of the other heroes at his agency, and often found himself easily absorbed in the filings. In fact, he probably took on more work than was necessary, but he liked to make sure everything was accurate on his end. Keeping track of accounts from patrols, civil disturbances, arrests, and policies wasn't exactly glamorous, but they were part of the job. Although most pros simply paid people to do it for them, Izuku could never justify making his colleagues do work that he wouldn't do himself. If they were his findings, he knew them best anyway. Why bother with a middle man?

By the time he was done with his stacks, it was about time to prepare for his shift on patrol. He stood from his desk and stretched, rolling out his neck and pulling his arms over and behind his head. He cracked his fingers one by one, trying to rid them of writing cramps. He thought he remembered someone telling him that popping his fingers would give him early arthritis, but it was a habit that was far too ingrained in him to give up now. Besides, hadn't that been disproven? Izuku yawned, getting up and moving was just what he needed.

A soft knock at his office door pulled him from his thoughts.

"Come in," he rasped, realizing how little he'd spoken that day; his voice sounded dry.

The door opened slightly, and his secretary poked her head through the slot, "Sorry to disturb you, sir–" she refused to call him by his name, despite how many times he insisted it was okay– "You are wanted in Conference Room B."

He thanked her, and she nodded appreciatively before ducking out of the room. Izuku gathered his things in his arms and locked his desk.

"Conference," He wondered aloud. "Got it."

Surprise conferences were never a good thing. Usually, they were a way for Dynamight to announce or transfer cases that required assistance without expending the time or effort of going through the proper channels. Dynamight doesn't make appointments. However, such cases were rare, so for one to arise would be cause for concern.

When Izuku entered the conference room, his suspicions seemed to be correct, as there stood Dynamight at the head of the table. Beside him was Shouto, which caused a surge of even more anxiety to rush through him. What could be so bad that three agencies were necessary?

He cleared his throat to get their attention, and Shouto turned to greet him, "Ah, Deku. Thank you for taking the time."

"Well," Izuku began, and approached the man to shake his hand, "when you come to me, how could I refuse? Making it too easy on me."

Shouto smiled softly, "I do wish that was the case. Please, if both of you would sit."

Izuku sat immediately, intrigued by what could have called them all together. Dynamight huffed at the order but abided anyway, taking his seat beside him.

Shouto began to speak, "Again, Midoriya, my apologies about circumventing your regular appointment policies, but we have an ongoing case that seems too urgent to waste any time on formalities." He bowed apologetically before straightening to deliver the details.

"Yesterday, it came to my attention that a large network of criminals we have been keeping our eye on have begun to act in ways we didn't anticipate, and it seems that their reach extends far beyond where we thought they might be localized. I arranged to meet with you both specifically, because their activity now seems to be popping up in areas that are under your patrol," he explained, and Dynamight scoffed.

"You sayin' we're missing stuff?" he accused. "I don't know how you run the show over there, but we work hard as hell to monitor all the areas under our supervision," he bit, and Shouto nodded understandingly.

"I did not mean to cause offense, and I don't doubt the capability of your agencies," he clarified. "However, I wanted to bring this to your attention, because the activities of this network may have looked like stand-alone events, maybe even insignificant at first. We need your help to connect them. I would advise you to have your best case workers go over filings from the past couple of months to look for reports that meet the following criteria: armed robberies carried out by two people, threatening letters to news and television stations, and any attempted break-ins at power facilities. I will of course forward this information to pass on to your colleagues."

Izuku nodded, "Thank you for the heads up. What exactly do you think their end game might be? Those crimes seem unrelated."

Dynamight made a sound of agreement, so Shouto continued, "We can't be completely sure based on what we have now, but it seems they have been actively trying to accumulate wealth and power equipment. In our division, a company reported losing over one hundred solar panels. The threatening messages haven't been confirmed to be linked to this network, but always refer to themselves as a group and state that they are planning something that will 'solidify their rightful place in charge.'"

Dynamight stood, "Got it. This could have been an email. In fact, it will be an email. I will look for shit, pinky fuckin' promise," he barked.

"Let me finish," Shouto ordered, causing Dynamight to grumble as he returned to his seat. "This network sounds harmless, I understand, but the robberies in our area have been...particularly violent."

Izuku felt his eyes widen as Shouto elaborated, "They always send two people, in broad daylight, to lower populated areas with banks or businesses. They work quickly, too quickly for anyone to act. Someone is always hurt, or killed. We have had 3 fatal robberies that we can link to them in the past 2 months. They are dangerous, and this proves that they don't have any qualms about violence or murder. This means that they are capable and willing to do anything to accomplish their goals. They are expanding their reach, and growing in ranks. That, Dynamight, is why you should be worried. Expand your patrols, examine old reports, and try not to let the death toll rise any further, if you would be so kind."

"Christ," Dynamight said, "maybe lead with that next time."

Shouto nodded, "We are taking this very seriously. What we need from you is surveillance of the areas we can't cover, but we also wanted to offer you the warning that more violence is possible and very likely."

Izuku's features hardened in determination as he stood, "We will be on the lookout. I'll let you know if we find anything in our paperwork, but for now, I will personally see to it that our patrols are extended," he assured. Turning to Dynamight, he spoke again, "It may be a good idea to overlap."

Dynamight followed him in standing and agreed to push into each other's domains. He headed out quickly after, citing "Shit to do."

As Izuku showed Shouto to the exit, the hero turned to him and spoke graciously, "On behalf of myself and my colleagues, thank you. We truly appreciate the help."

Offering a smile, Izuku responded, "No thanks necessary. If you would fax over any reports that you've confirmed to be linked to this network, we will start comparing immediately."

Shouto nodded with a short, "Of course," before heading out of the agency.

For the duration of his patrol, Izuku had to hide the twinge of disappointment he felt that his shifts would now be extended. Obviously, he wanted to do everything in his power to protect the people in his city, but expanding patrol meant more hours and more distance. Longer days. He had to push the thought from his mind, trying to focus on the onslaught of tasks at hand.

A frantic woman at the park couldn't find her son, who Izuku almost immediately discovered hiding in the swirly slide. He helped not one, but two elderly women cross the street, and had to wipe the lipstick off his face after they expressed gratitude with deep magenta kisses to his freckled cheeks.

"What a handsome young man," one had said, for which he thanked her kindly.

"If I were a couple decades younger..." winked the other, and Izuku had to hide his embarrassment at her implication.

After that, he settled a dispute in a coffee shop that had arisen over the last blueberry muffin, and somehow, he ended up with the muffin. Once everything was handled there, he ate his newly received baked treat as he continued down the road. When he came to the lemonade stand of a small girl and her mother, he gave them a hefty tip and exaggerated the deliciousness of the drink as he sipped it before them. It was mostly just water, but he wanted to build the girl's confidence. She beamed up at him, excited to see a hero in real life. He parted from her and her mom with a couple of lines about hard work, and a compliment to the child's go-getting attitude.

The rest of patrol was more of the same. There were some small disturbances, animal rescue missions, and a few heartfelt moments with his younger crowd of fans. Izuku always liked to see them. They all looked so happy, and he longed for the days when his smile was full of that same spark, when unadulterated joy spread across his heart and face without remorse. He missed when excitement could bloom in his heart without a second thought, without guilt, without the sinking feeling like the other shoe was about to drop.

Shouto's case was at the forefront of his mind as he walked his route, and he tried to be extra vigilant. The hardest part of dealing with criminals on a daily basis is understanding the reality that they are people too. It's a burden to acknowledge that at times. It makes it harder to know what to look for, and it hurt his soul to realize just how often he had to make snap judgments about people he didn't even know. He knew it was for the safety of his city, but it meant that he was constantly on edge.

It was like he'd forgotten how to breathe normally. Breathing used to be so easy; he couldn't even remember when that changed, when he started filling his days too full to afford himself a breath. He had started to use up all the oxygen in any room for other things, anything other than himself, and his flame started to die because he stopped feeding it. It was like he was constantly wandering aimlessly through a desert wasteland, with his lips cracking and his throat cracking more. At other times, he felt like he was freezing to death, and no amount of responsibilities, achievements, or successes could help to warm the chill in his bones. Even his deepest breaths came out shaky; they tasted like sulfur.

He wondered if other people struggled to breathe the way he did. Maybe they tasted copper, their mouths filling with blood the way his filled with words. How many people are choking something down? How many flames have died out? He couldn't tell. Therein lies the problem: you never know what someone is experiencing. He could never know for sure when someone was on the verge of snapping or at the brink of having their desperation slip into something darker, more sinister. He could only react.

By the time Izuku had made his usual loop–widened a bit to account for the alarming conversation he'd had with Shouto–he was absolutely drained. He arrived back at the agency and changed from his uniform as quickly as he could, opting to shower at home instead of at work. His social battery was spent, and he just wanted to retreat into the comfort of solitude. As he packed up for the night, he noted the new piles of reports on his desk for him to go over first thing the next morning. If they were the ones relating to Shouto's case, he would need as much rest as possible in order to view them with fresh eyes.

The sun had already set when he finally returned to his apartment building, and he raced up the stairs to get to his door, only adding to the sweat accumulating on his body from his long day. He was surprised to find you there as well, unlocking your door just as he approached his.

"Long day?" You asked, looking him up and down.

Izuku was sure he couldn't look good, standing there drenched in sweat, in his disheveled suit. He hadn't even taken the time to readjust his tie, instead throwing it loosely over his head and letting it dangle around his neck. Great.

"Could ask the same to you," he retorted, and you smiled and nodded in surrender.

"Worked a double," you explained, "and sleep hasn't been coming to me as easily lately."

Ah, so that's why he could sense your exhaustion at times. You wore the tired well, at least. Much better than him, he couldn't help but think. You had some kind of glow about you that transcended the need for sleep. It felt contagious.

"You and me both," he joked, opening his door in time with you.

Izuku bid you a goodnight and watched as you slinked inside your apartment. As he entered his own, he made a silent wish that your night would go better, wondering if you would do the same for him.

Once inside, he made a beeline for the bathroom, ready to rinse off all evidence of the day's efforts. He started the shower, willing it to heat up quickly as he peeled his clothes from his skin and tossed them into the hamper. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and frowned as he got lost in thought. His hair was ruffled in his haste to disrobe, but keeping his hair in place was a struggle he'd long given up on.

Izuku moved closer to the mirror to examine his face, tilting his head back and forth to see if the bags under his eyes were really there. As he got closer in proximity to the glass, a puff of his breath fogged his reflection. He pulled back, trying out a smile. It wasn't right. It was...uncanny. Too tired to be real, it was a smile that didn't reach his eyes. He stood up straight as he took in his nude form, lifting his chest and broadening his shoulders, then immediately shrunk back down, letting his posture fall as it may. He felt small. No matter how big he grew, he just felt small.

"Where did I go?" he whispered, solemnly looking himself up and down until he could no longer bear to, then pulled back his shower curtain and hopped in.

It was hot by then, almost too hot as he scrubbed away all traces of his day. He liked his body wash; it smelled like a forest. Izuku made a mental note to go hiking again the next time he got the chance. It's one thing to walk around a big city, but spending time out in the wilderness was different. It was something he cherished, but didn't get to do often. Walking under trees doesn't feel as claustrophobic as walking under skyscrapers. Trees don't make you feel small the way skyscrapers do; even the biggest ones just make you wonder at their beauty rather than apologize for your lacking. Trees also smell a lot better.

Most of all, Izuku was tiring of the mechanical. He himself was starting to feel mechanical, like a do-good machine. Do good, and shrink. Disappear when you're not needed, but always arrive just in time when you are. Be perfect. Trees didn't need to be perfect. Why couldn't he be a tree instead?

He huffed a laugh at that, washing his hair as quickly as he could before turning off the shower and stepping out.

Izuku grabbed his towel from the rack, muttering, "Cold, cold, cold..." and patting himself dry as fast as he could. He realized he forgot to turn on the vent when he looked to his reflection and only saw the foggy residue of steam layered over the mirror. He took his hand and wiped it over the glass to create a space for his face to reflect, wondering if anything had changed. It hadn't. But he was still there; he hadn't shrunk any more.

When he finally got to bed, he tried to picture you again. Even after a long day of work, you had smelled vaguely of sweets. He supposed that was one perk of your job; he always left his smelling like butt. He snorted to himself, his eyes fluttering closed as he tried to slow his breathing. He felt the slow rising and falling of his chest as he laid on his back, imagining the growing and shrinking of his lungs inflating and returning to rest. Eventually, he fell asleep.

——

That night, you woke to a dream of Izuku breathing frantically. You felt your eyes widening, as they darted from place to place, realizing you were...nowhere. It was like a void...bright white nothingness. You could feel Izuku's fear like it was your own, because in that moment, it was.

You turned in a circle, eyes searching for anything. You realized he was looking for an explanation or a sign of some kind.

Then your lips parted, and you spoke with his voice, uttering a small and shaky, "Where did I go?"

Your breathing became even more erratic as you felt yourself take off running. There was no aim, no direction. How could there be? He was nowhere; he disappeared.

"I didn't want this," you felt yourself scream, and suddenly it was like the ground was pulled from beneath your feet.

You managed a tiny, shell-shocked gasp as you felt yourself start to fall. Above you, you saw his arms grabbing for anything to stop him from plummeting to whatever waited below. You couldn't bear to know what it would be, so you focused as hard as you could on saving Izuku from his nightmare.

Before his body could hit the ground, he slowed. He found himself delicately placed on a bed of grass. Above him was no longer nothingness, but the shade of a large tree, the sun barely peeking through its leaves. He laid there with his hand on his chest, feeling his own heart beat as he admired the beauty of his surroundings.

And then he heard your voice, a whisper on the wind, until you were suddenly beside him, "Long day?" You smiled, propped up on your elbow as you laid on your side next to him.

He rolled over to face you, "No...just right."

Through his eyes, you saw yourself smile and say, "I'm glad you're here."

And then you woke for real, bolting upright like you had really been falling. All of the anxiety that you had just experienced caught up with you all at once, and you hugged your knees to your chest as you cried.

——

Once again, you were the first thing on Izuku's mind as he woke. In fact, that would be the case for the next couple weeks, which he attributed to seeing you in person more and more.

He had been trying to frequent the bakery more often. At first, he could use his coworkers as an excuse, saying that he thought it might be nice to buy them breakfast. He would buy a couple dozen pastries to take to work, but eventually, people stopped taking them. Once you caught him coming home with an entire box full of leftovers, he could no longer use work as an excuse.

For a few days, he stopped by while he was on patrol, citing a need to secure the area. He made that up, but you didn't need to know that. After more and more days of beating around the bush–visits where you seemed genuinely happy to see him–he decided to drop the act. No more excuses. He had to accept that at the end of the day, he was there to see you. He just didn't have to say that out loud.

"I'm glad you're here..." he told you one day, blinking himself out of it after realizing what he had said, but you just laughed and continued to arrange cookies onto a tray. He liked your laugh a lot.

"Well, I work here..." you reminded him, and he chuckled nervously. "I'm glad you're here though too, I guess. I need your energy to rub off on me."

He laughed a long with you at that, "I've been sleeping better. You haven't?"

His smile faltered when you shook your head, "Bad dreams?" he guessed.

He noticed you go slightly stiff at his question, and hoped he hadn't brought up anything that would make you uncomfortable, but you quickly returned to your task.

You sighed, "You could say that."

"I used to get those a lot," he tried to sympathize. "I am actually surprised that I haven't been lately. Usually when I have a lot on my mind, that's the first way it affects me."

You looked up from the cookie display, brows knitting together as you made eye contact with him, "Do you?" you started, "Have a lot on your mind, I mean."

Izuku shifted on his feet, feeling awkward. He wasn't sure how much you actually wanted to know. He also didn't want to seem like someone who complains.

So he shrugged it off, "Kind of. A big case has been taking up a lot of space in my brain, lately."

You hummed, going back to your organizing as you spoke again, "Is it serious?" you asked, looking up at him again to wiggle your eyebrows.

He could tell you were trying to get rid of any tension, and he couldn't lie and say it wasn't working.

He smiled at that, "Nothing you gotta worry about."

You mumbled out a soft, "Well," as you set the newly filled cookie tray in its rightful place. "If it's worrying you, I worry."

He swallowed thickly at that, feeling it tugging at some long untouched emotion within him.

"You don't have to worry about me," he tried to assure you, but he sounded unconvincing even to himself. He cringed at the twinge of sadness in his voice, hoping you hadn't noticed.

You returned to your place in front of him, only a counter between the two of you as you spoke again, "I know I don't have to, but I'm going to."

Izuku felt his face warm at that, but even more-so, his heart. You were now fully engrossed in him as the two of you conversed, and he almost felt too seen. His lips turned down into a small frown at the thought of you fretting over him; he didn't want to burden you with his anxiety. Especially not after finding out you were dealing with your own bout of insomnia, which was a feeling and predicament he had become overwhelmingly familiar with.

"Well," he considered for a moment before decidedly informing you, "I won't let you."

You giggled at that, leaning over the counter as you gloated, "You can't stop me. It's already in motion."

He playfully rolled his eyes at you as you stuck your tongue out at him."You're a child," he teased.

"Hey, sometimes it feels good to be a child again," you argued. "Life moves too fast these days. I miss when the stakes weren't so high," you sighed, unaware of just how much your words rang true.

"Exactly!" He exclaimed, and you laughed at his enthusiasm as he sheepishly continued. "The stakes, I guess. I miss when they were small, like falling off a bike," he stammered, avoiding eye contact.

You stilled, mouth opening slightly before you decided against whatever you were going to say.

"Sorry," you shook your head, "I shouldn't complain to you. That's not right."

"No, it's okay," he tried to assure you. "We all just do the best we can, right?"

You nodded, thinking for a moment before saying, "And all we can do is all we can do."

Izuku pressed his lips together tightly before replying, unsure of how honest he could be in that moment, "I agree."

When he left, he felt like a liar. Sometimes all we can do isn't good enough. He knew that. It was a privilege not to know that, and he knew he couldn't fault you for your positive outlook, but he felt himself being launched right back into that spiteful place he had been trying to overcome. The feeling that had prodded at his brain until he landed in therapy.

That resentment was hard to uproot, and he knew he couldn't necessarily blame himself for it either. It was just difficult to come to terms with the fact that the very people he wanted to serve seemed to be worlds away from him in every regard. They would never understand; you wouldn't get it. He never wanted you to, though. He wanted to shield you from the truth that sometimes he fails, doesn't get to the scene in time, loses. The weight of knowing that was heavy, heavier than anything. It only added to the isolation he had sentenced himself to for so long.

Izuku wanted to be able to see things your way, but he couldn't. If he weren't a hero, someone else would have to be. He couldn't justify passing the load onto anyone else, so he would carry it until his knees buckled, adjust his stance, and then carry it again. And he'd do it forever, because he was good at it, even when it hurt. As unbearable as the responsibility often seemed, he found a strange comfort in knowing it was his. Nevertheless, the bitterness he'd worked through time and time again began to settle in his gut once more, a poison that his organs couldn't filter out. A sourness he felt too guilty to name. It weighed him down, made his brain feel too apparent in his head, his tongue heavy in his mouth, and his movements sluggish. He could feel the fabric of his costume on his skin, imagining it growing tighter and tighter until he couldn't breathe.

In this state, he walked back toward the agency while his head kept swimming. He was distracted, eyes down, brows knit in thought. He was too distracted. Distracted with the way his mouth felt dry, his hands felt shaky, his shoes suddenly felt too tight. The sun outside was too bright in his eyes, the normal city sounds around him felt loud, as if he could hear everyone's conversations despite wanting nothing but silence. Izuku was overwhelmed and overstimulated as he blinked harshly, trying to get a grip on himself.

He stopped in his tracks, pushed his palms to his eye sockets, and pressed hard in circular motions in an attempt to rub out the discomfort. He wished he could scratch his brain, anything to get the feeling to dull. Everything felt too tight, too loud, too fast.

"Grey street," he mumbled, eyes shut tight. "Yellow lines...fuck," he gasped for a breath, "green grass...over there..." he trailed off.

The smallness was creeping back in. The out of body, the fear, the disappearing. He needed to slow down. And that's when the first scream broke out.

His eyes shot open, hair standing on end as his head whirled towards the source. Izuku, feeling both completely out of his mind and wholly responsible, felt his feet moving on instinct. And he rushed in, scared and unsure like he had been that very first time. Before training, before a quirk, before anything, and he felt that same itch like he had no idea what he was getting himself into. The panic of not knowing if he would help, make it worse, or die. For the first time in a long while, he felt unprepared.

More screams pierced the air, and Izuku followed the sound until he made it to a small convenience store down the road. From there it was a blur. He saw a body laying behind one of the aisles, only the legs visible. He didn't know if they were alive.

He felt himself yelling for everyone to get out, shaking with fear and with rage. A rage he hadn't let himself have access to in years. A rage that served no purpose and did him no good.

He didn't see the gunman until he felt the whizzing of a bullet pass next to his shoulder, his head turning in time to see it land in the stomach of the man working the till. They locked eyes, and he felt his own widen in shock as the man stared back with confusion and fear, clutching his stomach. Tears of frustration, of guilt, and of hatred began to pool all at once as Izuku saw the man finally collapse behind the counter.

His body moved faster than his brain, tackling the perpetrator to the ground with such a force that he felt ribs cracking underneath his weight. He couldn't make himself care.

Baring his teeth, at once angry and bewildered, he roared, "Why would you do that?"

And Izuku felt the hate pulsing through his veins, vision going red when the shooter just smirked at him and said, "Because I could."

——

The next time you saw Izuku Midoriya was on the news. You were at work, wiping down the counter when your eyes landed on the little television in the corner of the shop, ears perking up once you heard his name. When you realized the circumstance, your eyes widened, a hand coming up to your mouth in shock and heartache. You watched as others in the bakery had the same reaction, all eyes locked on the screen.

There had been an attack not too far from where you were, and three people died, including the suspect. The police were currently searching for a second suspect, who was said to be seen conversing with the other just moments before the shooting started. He fled the scene, and by then Izuku had arrived too late, managing to evacuate most of the citizens in the area, but he was unable to stop the two civilian casualties. They were pronounced dead at the scene along with the shooter, which was a fact the reporter was a little too smug in stating.

There were few accounts of what happened, mainly coming from witness statements and one shaky video taken on a cell-phone that was deemed too graphic to share on live television. It began to circulate anyway. More and more, you saw Deku's name being dragged through the mud. Some people said he was too reckless, others said he should have done more. It was announced that he would take a temporary leave to process all that had happened, which only added fuel to the fire, resurrecting old rumors about the state of his mental health. So you worried. Of course you did.

When it finally came out that the attack had been a robbery gone wrong, connected to a series of activity from a growing crime network, you began to wonder if that was the case Izuku had been telling you about just moments before the incident. It made you worry even more, knowing he would blame himself, knowing the scene would replay in his mind at night like a horror film stuck on repeat. And then, guilty as it made you, you feared for yourself. As you walked home that evening you wondered: what would you see?

When you made it back to your apartment, you were surprised to see the hulking figure of Dynamight, hunched over and banging on Izuku's front door. You recognized him from the few television interviews you had seen, not that there were many to begin with.

"It's our fault too," you heard him arguing, "so you better not do this shit again."

You froze when he turned to find you staring, his gruff voice snarling at you to "Move along."

"Sorry," you stammered, "I live next door."

He just huffed as you slid past him, putting your key into your lock and twisting. Before you turned the knob, you steeled your nerves and quietly asked, "He's okay, right?"

Dynamight just looked you up and down with an unreadable expression, turning away from Izuku's door and leaving without giving you an answer. You just nodded to yourself, taking his non-answer as a bad sign.

At least he was home, you told yourself. He needed a break. Not just because of the incident, either. If his dreams were anything to go by, Izuku had been dealing with a lot of pain behind the scenes. It felt invasive to be doing what you did each night, but you couldn't justify letting him suffer. He did that enough every day; that was even more evident now. He didn't need the added trauma of reliving it all each night.

It started small. You told yourself you were only doing it because his dreams were too loud, keeping you awake. It was for your sake, not his, the small changes to his dreamscape. Changes that would keep him asleep longer, quiet the thundering terror and debilitating sadness that kept him from rest. It was because you had to if you wanted any rest for yourself. Until it wasn't.

You didn't know who he was at first, completely unaware that you were moving in next door to a hero when you took over the lease. You never saw him, assuming that whoever lived next to you just had a schedule that didn't align with your own. When you took a job at the new bakery down the road, you started to see him more, but didn't officially meet until you spoke to him that day–on a whim.

You weren't sure why you did it, but supposed you just wanted to put a face and name to all the dreams you had been seeing. You assumed he was some kind of first responder, maybe a hero, just based on the kinds of nightmares you had been privy to. Once you found out his actual identity, your thoughts started to linger on him more and more.

Every time you had seen Deku on the television, you thought he looked kind. Kind and humble. He looked like he didn't know how he ended up carrying such a burden, and would never admit that it was a burden in the first place. And people loved him. You had to admit, you weren't a hero fangirl by any means, usually too busy to keep up with them, but something about him made you want to keep up. You thought it was because his smile didn't reach his eyes, and you could guess why.

When you finally did meet, everything you thought about him was confirmed. He was kind and humble, but also more than that. The more dreams you were exposed to, the more you felt like you knew him. But it felt wrong. In fact, you knew it was wrong. You were invading his privacy, bearing witness to the worst his mind could possibly dredge up. But you couldn't stop. You wanted to see him smile for real. You wanted to see Izuku be okay.

So when you started to appear in his dreams without your doing, you were happy. You were happy to be noticed, happy you could be of help. And when he came around, you made it your mission to make him smile as much as you could. And that's what you would dream about. The way his eyes and nose would crinkle up when he laughed, the way he completely zoned out when he focused on something, and the way his eyes held more emotion than you thought any one person could hold. Even a second of eye contact with Izuku Midoriya was a gift; you could see entire worlds being built and torn apart within the greens of his irises. You could see adoration for life, for people, and while you were not presumptuous enough to think there would be any room for you, you prayed there was anyway.

But now, he was hurting. It radiated through the air in waves. The walls that separated you were thin; you could hear him flip mindlessly through TV channels, unable to settle on one. You heard when he turned on the shower, shutting your eyes tightly and trying to pretend you couldn't hear his agony mixing with the beating of the water. Trying to pretend you couldn't hear his sobs as they racked his ribcage.

And when he finally slept, you were faced with the unimaginable horror of his nightmares. You saw Izuku panicking, cursing himself. You saw people die. Worst of all, you saw him kill. You felt the rage for yourself, but worse than that was the guilt. And as you felt ribs cracking beneath you again and again, you heard the explosion of gunshots, Izuku's choked scream of disbelief, and the taunting echo of a voice whispering, "Because I could."

So you changed it. Over and over. Night after night. You changed it.

——

"You got shot?"

Izuku just nodded, head moving ever so slightly to glance at the bandage wrapped around his bicep.

"When I tackled him," he started. "Before..." he trailed off. "He got a shot off on me, I guess. I didn't realize until after. It's fine."

Izuku watched through his computer screen as his therapist shuffled in her seat. His mom had been refusing to talk to him until he visited his therapist, which he knew was probably for the best. Tough love. He couldn't force himself to leave his home though, so online session it was.

"Adrenaline, I'm sure..." she said, and he just shrugged, feeling apathetic.

Truth be told, he didn't really want to talk about it. He didn't want to talk at all. His days on leave were spent sleeping when possible, eating when he could. He just felt sick to his stomach.

"And I'm sure you know they didn't report on that fact. That you got hurt," she sighed.

He just shrugged again, "Never do. It doesn't matter what happens to me anyway. They're just gonna say I'm a waste of resources," he said bitterly.

"Well, you help to pay my bills, so I guess I'm not a fair judge of your uselessness," she joked, and he just gave her a playful glare. "But Izuku, I have to say, if you're not actively wanting to feel better right now, that's okay. Just tell me, because there are people who are. You can be bitter and mad if you want, and I wouldn't blame you, but as much as you hate to admit it sometimes, talking might help."

Izuku looked away from the screen, focusing on his hands as he fidgeted in his spot, knowing she was right.

"I talked to that girl a bit before it happened...my neighbor," he began, and his therapist looked on hopefully as if urging him to continue. "It helped until it didn't, I guess. I just forget that there are things people who aren't in the hero field will never be able to understand, or hear about. I freaked out after; I dwelled and felt like I was undoing all my progress," he explained, feeling tears of frustration building up again. He'd spent too long crying already, he wasn't sure how he had any tears left.

His therapist hummed before asking, "Sounds like a panic attack–probably triggered by some words or phrases that reminded you of the trauma and difficult thought processes you've dealt with in the past. It's been a while since you've last experienced something like this, hasn't it, and how do you know she won't understand?"

He stilled, eyebrows furrowing like it was the dumbest question ever, "I guess, but what do you mean? Of course she can't understand. She doesn't do this for a living. She wouldn't get the toll and the sacrifice and the anxiety," he asserted.

"Have you explained it to her?"

"I-" Izuku stammered, "well, I couldn't. That's not fair to her," he explained.

"Oh? Who decided that?" she urged, and he felt himself slowly starting to understand her point.

"I did," he sighed, putting his head in his hands.

"You did," she repeated, "and you did so because you're self sacrificing and anxious and understand the toll. But I'm also sure that you'd want her to tell you when something is on her mind."

"Of course," he affirmed.

"So you have to let it go both ways," his therapist elucidated. "Let her tell you if it's too much, and if you can't stand to hear about her struggles for a moment because they're hurting you or crossing your boundaries, you tell her that too. If she's your friend, and mature, she will understand."

"I just don't want to overwhelm her..." Izuku confessed quietly. "I don't want to be overwhelming."

"That's a valid fear, but one that will keep you lonely if you give it power for too long. Start small, when in doubt, just ask," his therapist encouraged. "Ask where she's at, if she's okay to listen to some potentially troubling things, if she has advice. Even if she doesn't understand the hero side of things, she knows what it is to be human."

Izuku knew she was right, and she hit the nail on the head. His problem was never that you didn't understand what it was to be a hero, rather that he had forgotten what it was like to allow himself to be human. Everything he had been feeling the past few days, and before that, were just human emotions. The anxiety, the perfectionism, the yearning; on some level, everyone could relate.

"So you're saying I should just go knock on her door and ask to talk?" he questioned, still unsure of where to start.

"Why not?" she shrugged. "The worst she will do is say no, or that she's busy. At the very least, it will get you out of your apartment for a few minutes."

And he couldn't argue with that. He exchanged a few more words with therapist before beginning to sign off.

"One more thing," she said quickly before he hung up, and Izuku nodded for her to continue. "Call your mother today, she keeps texting me."

With that, she hung up, and Izuku smiled, shaking his head. That was just like his mom to do, and he would definitely be chewing her out over it later. With love, of course. But first, he had to talk to you before he lost all of his courage. He was thankful he showered that morning.

Before he could think too long on it, he slammed his laptop closed, and quickly walked over his door. He threw it open more harshly than intended, then swung outside to face your door. He knocked loudly, leaving no room for himself to back out. He rocked back and forth on his feet with his hands on his pockets, trying to ignore how fast his heart was beating as he waited for you to come to your door. Honestly, he wasn't even sure if you would be home, but froze when he heard shuffling from inside your apartment.

Then, your door was opening, just a crack. And you peered outside at him, only a portion of your face visible through the slit you had made. Your eyes were red, under-eyes swollen like you had been crying. More than that, you looked like you hadn't slept in days.

When you realized who it was at the door, he watched your eyes widen slightly, and you opened it all the way.

He held his breath as you spoke, confusion and exhaustion evident in your voice, "Izuku? Are you okay?"

You sounded so quiet, voice so frail and faraway, like your mind was somewhere else completely. He watched as you yawned and gestured for him to come inside. He shut the door behind him, noting how you swayed on your feet, slightly unstable. He felt his hands itching at the ready, waiting to catch you if you were to fall.

"I'm fine. Are you?" he asked genuinely, voice thick with concern as you yawned once more.

You nodded, your head bobbing up and down on your neck like it weighed a ton, only serving to make you more unstable on your feet. You stumbled forward, and he caught you by your forearms. He supported your weight as your head fell onto his chest.

"Tired," you said simply, words muffled by his shirt. "Was trying to help you."

Izuku felt slightly embarrassed by your sudden proximity, then pulled back to look at your face, "What do you mean?"

But you were asleep, head just falling limp now that it wasn't being supported by his body. Shit. Unsure what to do, Izuku just scooped you up in his arms and carried you to your couch. He laid you there as gently as he could, grabbing a blanket from nearby and laying it over your unconscious form.

"I'm gonna leave now," he whispered awkwardly, and you didn't respond–didn't even stir.

“Okay, be okay…” he whispered again, feeling like an idiot because he knew you were out. "Bye."

He returned to his apartment with more questions than answers. Safe to say, that did not go to plan. 'The worst she can do is say no or that she's busy' his ass. His therapist had evidently failed to consider the possibility that you might fall unconscious into his arms due to obvious sleep deprivation.

And what did you mean by 'trying to help' him? He hadn't even seen you since before the incident. That was days ago. He supposed he would just have to ask you whenever you eventually woke up. Whenever that might be.

He would have to find out later, because as soon as Izuku stepped into his kitchen, he realized that his place was in dire need of cleaning. Now that he had finally noticed, he knew he wouldn't be able to function in any other regard until his space was clear. He sighed, turning on the sink and getting work scrubbing the dishes that had accumulated there.

Izuku spent the rest of his day cleaning, hoping that an organized space would be a good influence on the state of his life. If all the dishes were in place, no laundry on the floor, maybe the jagged edges of his situation would come together in way that would afford him some peace. As much as he knew that it didn’t work like that, he couldn’t help but out hold some hope anyway. Hope for himself, hope for you.

And that was the truth of it. He had to keep himself busy or else his overthinking would drive him closer to the edge of insanity. He worried about you, and for you. Not that he was a doctor, but in his opinion, it looked as if you hadn’t slept in days. In fact, the last time he had seen you was the day of the incident. Could it be that you were losing sleep because of him? Had you really not slept since then?

Izuku’s nails were bitten to the point of bleeding at the thought of you suffering that much over his situation. And then made worse when he considered that he was the biggest asshole on the planet for assuming your troubles had anything to do with him. That he could be worthy of any of your attention, let alone attention at such a degree that it would be to your detriment.

You were like a flower that had taken root in his mind and spread to his heart. You’d blossomed into this shining fixture in his life that he hoped he could make permanent, hoped he could lean on for just a while longer, if not forever. He needed your blooming to rub off on him, the color you brought to your days and now his. You weren’t fragile; he would never say that, but God, if he didn’t want to cradle you like you were. To uproot you and plant you into his earth, his ground. All he ever did was uproot. He felt like a hail storm. You were wilting already from his ‘too much.’ Too heavy, too much rain, too much force, too much feeling. He didn’t want to destroy you. He couldn’t bear another loss. Should your smile fall, he would never forgive himself.

Izuku was finally freed from his thoughts by the sound of a knock at his door. He rushed over immediately, flinging it open with eyes wide, assuming you would be waiting there.

“Y/N—” He started, only to be disappointed when he was met with a very confused-looking delivery man holding an edible arrangement.

“Uh, no,” the man said, handing him the gift.

“Your friend Denki says ‘Happy birthday,’ but then he told me to say ‘I know it’s not your birthday, but the ‘feel better’ bouquets were more expensive’ and ‘It’s the thought that counts.’”

——

When you woke up, it was dark out. You sat up slowly, dazed and yawning, tired mind trying to put all the pieces together.

“Couch?” You wondered aloud, yawning again and moving your hands to rub the sleep out of your eyes.

The digital clock you kept in the kitchen blinked at you, signing ‘9:45pm.’ You had slept all day. That wasn’t the weirdest part though; you’d had the strangest dreams. For once, they were your own—not Izuku’s—but he was still there.

You vaguely recalled answering your door, falling into his arms, soft whispers back and forth to each other. He had looked concerned, which made you want to fix it. Fix, fix, fix; ever the fixer you were. You tried to tell him that someone was in his corner, that you were trying to help, but he only looked more confused.

But then, there was the issue of the couch, which is exactly where you landed in your dream. He carried you there, said something soft to you that you couldn’t hear and then presumably left.

You groaned, sleepy mind finally rearing to life with some embarrassment. “Not a dream,” you decided. “Real.”

You pulled your knees to your chest, curling up and weighing your options. You could go over and knock on his door, apologize for your odd behavior, and swear you are okay. You’re sure he would appreciate knowing that you hadn’t completely decayed yet. But then, the questions. He would ask questions, and you’re a terrible liar. You would sell yourself out immediately, and he would know all about what you had been up to every night. He would feel violated, betrayed; he might even hate you.

You sighed, holding up your left hand, “He deserves to know the truth. He is mature enough to know that I was only trying to help. He is kind and compassionate. I would want to know.”

Then, you held up your right hand, “What does the truth matter, anyway? He won’t find out if I don’t tell him, and it’s not like I am some creep trying to perv on him. He would do the same thing for me if the roles reversed. He would…invade my privacy…and—ugh!” You relented, throwing your hands up.

“He has to know,” you resolved.

You stood up quickly, ready to rush next door. You stumbled as you rose to your feet, grabbing at the couch when the sudden change made you dizzy.

“Tomorrow,” you decided. “Tomorrow is fine.”

But tomorrow never came. You had called in sick to work already, so that wasn’t an issue, but apparently Izuku didn’t get the memo. When you had gone to knock on his door, you got no answer, and when you flicked on your television, you figured out why.

There was live coverage of him going back to work. You saw Izuku—Deku, really—walking into his agency, his head down. He looked determined, despite all of the hustle and bustle of cameras flashing and questions being thrown every which way. Salacious and mean spirited questions that felt more like traps intermixed with random gossip. He said, she said; Izuku paid them no mind. Once he passed through the doors, the cameras lost sight of him, and you watched as the disappointed reporter gave her two cents, sounding bitter.

“With Deku back to work after seemingly no repercussions for the tragedy that occurred just days ago, people are once again wondering what these heroes really stand for. Remember people: we pay them! And what do we get? Not justice,” she said, “not this time.”

You shook your head, about to change the channel, unable to stand whatever bullshit she was spewing. No justice? He was ready to lay down his life for justice. That reporter wouldn’t know justice if it bit her on the ass, like you knew karma would soon.

"The other suspect involved in the recent and violent robbery-gone-wrong is still at large, so if you or anyone you know has information, please, do not hesitate to call in. It's time we step up and be heroes, since the ones we pay aren't cutting it–"

You made a sound of disgust as you slammed the off button on your remote, refusing to sit and listen to anymore. You couldn't understand how someone could be so far from having a clue. It almost hurt. You knew it would hurt Izuku to hear people talk like that. Deku could handle it for the cameras, but Izuku...it would cut deep. You needed to see him, and soon.

However, as much as you wanted to be the one to comfort him, you knew that letting him in on your secret was going to do the opposite. That didn't make the truth any less necessary, though. You really needed to see him.