#Dick being the DM just watching the chaos happen

[alexandthensome]

The Ghostie Bros™️ as Quotes from My D&D Campaign

Danny: I can deal with treason, but drugs are where I draw the line.

Jason: I mean, if it’s between treason or drugs, I think we're gonna have to go with treason.

Tim: *sigh* Look, I'm just the accountant.

[ladylooch]

https://www.tumblr.com/ladylooch/731916751374368768/to-be-honest-i-have-really-missed-angry-sex-with

Looking at this, imagine Timo waking up early the next morning while Emma is asleep and notices that she has a new ig dm from Trouba, so he goes on her phone and reads through her dms that Trouba had sent her and turns out that he had been sending her a bunch of thirst trap pics, like sexy pics of his abs, nudes and even dick pics, which makes him upset, but says nothing to Emma and later that night when he plays against the Rangers, he and Nico drops the gloves on Trouba after he mentions how he can easily steal Emma from him and sexualizes her, to which Timo takes him down and does a cheapshot out of anger to his nose and Nico knocked out his tooth with a punch and Emma watched the whole thing and Timo eventually confessed to Emma what happened

A/N: I know you sent this in before the game this weekend, but I feel like the hate for Trouba like… tripled after yesterdays game… kinda glad T didn’t play. But yeah, I think it’s safe to say, T would go ballistic 😧

Emma’s face is hidden in her hands, fingers spread a bit as she watches her husband beat the shit out of Jacob Trouba on the ice below. She squirms in her seat as another punch of Timo’s lands on Trouba’s helmet. Timo harshly tugs on the captain’s jersey, then rips the white helmet off. Jacob tosses a punch, Timo throws another back as Emma whimpers.

“Wow.” Lexi stutters, holding Lio close to her chest. Lucie is asleep in her carrier on the floor. Lio is close behind, despite the chaos on the ice. “T, holy moly.” 

Timo rails two more quick jabs against Trouba’s head. Emma rubs at her forehead as they finally fall to the ice. Both of them are bloodied and head down their respective tunnels. 

“Timo.” Emma growls under her breath. She rolls her shoulders back, then swallows the thick knot in her throat. Only two minutes remain in the rivalry game. New Jersey is ahead by a goal and closes out the game with the same score. 

Emma can barely hold a conversation with Lexi as they head downstairs to wait for the boys. Timo has two cuts on his face as he walks towards her with her brother. Nico and Timo are laughing. Emma thinks nothing about what she witnessed was funny.

She tells her husband so in the car.

“That was ridiculous.” Emma shakes her head, arms crossed tightly over her chest. Timo puts his hand on her thigh. Emma pushes it off, noting his cut and scabbing knuckles. “No.” 

“Babe.” Timo sighs.

“Timo, our son is at your games now. It’s like you don’t even understand that.”

“In the heat of the moment like that? No. I am not thinking about Lio being asleep in the suite.”

The rest of the drive home is tense. Neither Timo or Emma speak again. Emma goes to grab Lio out of his car seat. Timo puts his hands on her hips, pulling her away so he can do it. His wife heads into the house and right upstairs to their bedroom. Her nightly routine is done distractedly, remembering the vividness of the blows Timo took to the face. 

Once she is out of her game day outfit and make up free, she joins Timo in Lio’s room for goodnight kisses. Watching the delicateness that Timo uses in putting Lio in his pajamas softens Emma’s scrunched face. Lio whines as Timo lifts his left arm to put it through the sleeve of his footies. 

“Almost done bubba.” Timo whispers, leaning down to kiss his cheek. “Come here.” He murmurs, putting his hands under their son’s armpits and pulling him back up. Lio collapses into Timo’s frame, little hands clutching his dress shirt. 

“What did he say?” Emma murmurs as she come over to her boys. She is asking her husband of Trouba.

“It’s not just what he said. It’s what he did too.” Timo responds, rubbing a hand over Lio’s back. “I saw what he sent to you on Instagram. I’m not okay with that. I told him so. He told me you were a needy slut who asked for it.” Emma’s mouth drops open in surprise. She is going to be blocking him immediately when she gets back to her phone. She thought ignoring him was enough. Clearly not.  “And I don’t care if you’re upset with me or if people in that arena tonight thing I’m fucking crazy. I will protect you from everything. No matter what happens to me because of it.” 

“Can you put our son down so we can make out?” Emma murmurs, stepping closer to him. He chuckles, then tilts down to kiss her. Their tongues connect gently. Emma is careful to not press into their son and wake him.

“I beat someone up for you and all you wanna do is make out?” Timo quips as he settles Lio onto his back in his crib. 

“Timo Meier’s needy, slutty wife always wants more than that from him.” Timo smirks, then turns to Emma. 

“Better get you to bed too, mama.” He chuckles, tossing her over his shoulder and hauling ass back to their room.

[peachfuzznygma]

as per anon's request: my dnd character

this is my first campaign and my first character so i've grown very fond of him but in the worst way possible. the campaign we're playing rn is curse of strahd so def some spoilers ahead. and yapping warning also

elidyr (he/him) is a half-elf warlock. since curse of strahd is a gothic horror vampire campaign he is a vampire hunter. his charisma is Extremely high and it shows. alignmentwise he's lawful evil or neutral evil. he's very egotistical. flirts with anything that moves. doesn't think before speaking. no morals really. just a general asshole. the thing is i didn't mean it to go this far. i knew i wanted to start off with a little ego but after the first few sessions i was having too much fun playing the asshole. it's so fun seeing the player's/character's and dm's reaction to his chaos. especially since one of the characters is a paladin so his morals are high. i love seeing his reaction when i do something wild. (ofc good to note that you can play an asshole without them being an actual bigot). but i've grown very fond of him. not love or hate but a third secret thing. there's been so many times where he has been tooooo close to death (like the time i got stabbed so bad that now my guts are fully fucked and i can't do actions in battle without throwing a 12 or higher) and i get sad because he's such a fun character to play and i don't want to lose him

one of my favorite parts about him is his luck in battles WHICH SUCKS. but we always laugh about it afterwards. I KEEP HAVING MY HP AT NEGATIVE?? but characterwise it makes it so fucking funny. having this big ego and then keeps getting beat up. honestly he deserves it (but don't die pls)

our dm mentioned that elidyr's luck reminds her of gotham penguin (honestly her mind. i didn't even know she'd even seen gotham. my brain was so happy about this comment). and i totally agree. elidyr keeps failing but somehow keeps ending up more powerful and more egotistical. also the way pengi jumps on board with anything and everything that benefits him personally even if it went against his other connections is so elidyr

okay lastly i just want to list some of my favorite things about elidyr that has happened in this campaign so far

as a joke we all rolled a d20 for dicksize and ofc i rolled the lowest and it checks out. big ego, small dick

started off by having my eldritch blast come from a hip thrust but now i just forget to do it so i just use my hands

in one battle there was this energy orb type thingy with a baby in the middle. i/elidyr said that we should just kill it. during this we had no idea i was right and we were actually supposed to do that. but everyone was so in shock that he would even suggest that. but characterwise he was the only one in the group who had the guts to do it. so he did kill a baby (but it was like an evil energy)

lady from a tavern telling a rumor about the town having a basement somewhere where you could hear screams from. then she asks is there something she can do for us and i flirtingly answered "do you have a basement where you can scream?"

elidyr eats drugged up pie and sees dreams about kids praising him and wanting to be him and women loving him

my personal want to smash the vampires keeps coming in the way of my character who hates them and wants to kill them

rebels taking over the town and executing the mayor and his family. elidyr was so hyped about this. i wrote in my notes: "they had to pull elidyr away from watching the execution. he was just so hyped. he isn't even pro-revolution, he just likes seeing people die. imagine a fratboy watching the superbowl"

willing to drug a possessed child without letting others know

lasty a picture of this fucker. i really wish i had a pc so i could download the free dragon's dogma character maker. but picrews work really well for dnd characters

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E91 (Jan. 21, 2020)

Good evening, everyone! Sorry about missing last week; @eponymous-rose​ was out of town and I had some other commitments. Regardless, here we are! Brian is looking handsome and cold, as are Sam & Travis on the couch. Everyone is wearing coats. Is the heat broken?

That said, tonight’s guests are Travis Willingham & Sam Riegel.

Brian starts us off asking Sam if he’s remaking the Wire in Beverly Hills. Sam basically embodies that hello fellow kids meme tonight in a hand-knitted beanie from his wife, a bomber jacket, a yellow tee, and skinny jeans. They quickly photoshop in smoke trailing out of his mouth. We’re just a few minutes in and this is off the rails already.

Announcements: The next issue (#5) of Vox Machina comics comes out Wednesday, Feb. 19! It’s also available online at Dark Horse Digital and Comixology. And that’s it! Huh.

Episode 91: Stone to Clay

Brian tells us this is the first time ever to have Sam & Travis alone on Talks. I’m stunned and so are they. Sam says, “between me, Brian, Dani, and Travis right now, there’s four tens on this show right now.”

We’re already into questions less than ten minutes into the show. Truly this is a remarkable night.

63 in game days and 21 episodes passed between Caduceus’s first mention of Stone (episode 71) and Fjord connecting the dots. Travis blames the internet connection and his really bad ADHD night, as that was the night he and Laura remoted in from the hotel.

Brian tells us that when Ashley used to skype in, she could only see Matt & couldn’t see or really hear anyone else.

Travis says there was a huge delay for him between mouths moving and the audio coming through, and then that audio was pretty distorted. Laura could handle it okay, but Travis just heard a jumble and couldn’t parse it.

Sam took a CBD bath the other day and found it exactly as relaxing as a normal bath. Sam & Travis commiserate about taking baths only to have their knees pop out of the water. Tall people problems smh

Caleb & Nott completed the spell in less than a week, including dealing with the Angel of Irons & brokering peace treaties. Travis though the laughter was going to be Helas.

Travis says he definitely didn’t hear the name the first time (he remembered dust but not stone from the lava pits). “Look! Yes! No, I was not listening before! Thursday nights are my times to enjoy my friends and food! Marisha is an amazing note-taker; why would I ever take my own? This is how I got through college!”

Sam says he keeps a mission checklist in his head and has for ages. He has a page in his notebook labeled “To Do” that includes things like visiting Kiri or Shakaste, in case they have downtime and need ideas.

Travis asks if he continues writing in his (apparently) very small handwriting, and Sam says he has to leave room for Laura to draw all her dicks. They all marvel that she is actually a very good artist.

Travis honestly still thinks the Stone name is a huge coincidence, especially since Taliesin didn’t have access to Fjord’s last name when he created Caduceus’s last name and backstory. Sam challenges Travis that even if that were true, doesn’t he think Matt will find a way to tie it together?

Travis says Fjord doesn’t want anything to do with the last name and it’s not even his real name. He’s not convinced this isn’t a coincidence.

Travis did a lot of research into orphanage naming conventions when coming up with Stone. He does have a backstory as to how the orphanage manager picked Stone as his name.

Travis thinks Matt would have emphasized the Stone name more sooner if it had been a true connection and not coincidence.

Brian: “He does like to take credit for coincidences, doesn’t he?”

Nott didn’t think there was a catch in the ritual; Sam was more surprised they were allowed to achieve the milestone at all. He was shocked it happened so soon in the story and that the spell is relatively easy to cast.

He didn’t know it would fail, but there was a moment when he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go through with it. Travis agrees everyone was shocked when it didn’t work.

Fjord’s current stance on faith and destiny hasn’t changed since the last time he discussed it. Faith is a slow thing for Fjord and he really does think the name is a coincidence.

Sam as a player is excited to see what comes next for Nott; “if she had been transformed into Veth at that moment, I would have been excited to see what comes next. The fact that it’s still Nott makes me excited too. I’m excited to see more of Nott since she’s the best character in the M9.” He also confesses he was a bit relieved, in part because it’s delayed the inevitable. At some point she must decide if she is going to stay or go with the M9.

Cosplay of the Week: @kajicosplays​ on instagram of a lovely lady Percy. Brian: “Isn’t it fun when Taliesin’s characters live?”

Deep down, Nott knows she will do the transformation at some point, but at that last moment where she had to make a decision she had to check in with herself to make sure she was ready. Sam Riegel as a D&D player also knows that you have to trust your DM and make choices.

Brian misreads the word “ribbing.” Sam teaches Travis what rimming is. We all learn a lot about each other.

Sam thinks Fjord can realize when the time comes to set jokes aside. He thinks Fjord was very respectful. Travis has honestly forgotten that the conversation took place.

Travis has Dani answer from Fjord’s perspective. It’s actually pretty insightful, talking about how Fjord recognized someone hesitant to give up these newfound powers that have become intrinsically tied to self-worth.

Fjord has always been loyal, and Travis sees his protectiveness of the M9 as a logical extension of this.

Right now, he has found some agency & self-direction and is hopeful to share that sense with everyone else (he especially mentions Yasha).

Sam & Travis start quoting from Half-Baked. This is chaos.

Nott does want to stay with the M9, but she also wants to go home for sure, both of those things. The kiss with Caleb wasn’t necessarily a goodbye; it felt like the closing of a chapter. It felt like something to mark the end of the experience.

Now they’re quoting Beverly Hills Cop. Oh, boy.

“You look like you wrote Pitch Perfect.” When did this turn into a roast?

Fjord has no memories earlier than the orphanage (The Driftwood Asylum). There were a couple dozen kids there aside from him; Travis thinks some of them might have been named Stone. It also operated as a small child-labor workshop for carpentry & woodshop stuff. “It was a terrible place all around.” He has no images of parents or being dropped off.

Sam thought the Nott transformation would be more endgame, though he feels it makes sense that it’s not. “While Nott transforming into Veth was my original goal, what’s great about these long games is that your goals can change two or three times before the end. Now I can explore all these other things: does she want to go back and be a housewife? How does she rectify her obligations to her husband and child to the life that she’s made with the M9? It’s so exciting and interesting.”

Brian asks a hypothetical: if she could transform back but lose all Nott’s memories, would she do it? Sam: “Oh, that’s tough. I don’t know.”

Fanart of the Week: a lovely piece by @pen_draws with everyone in the hot tub.

Travis is very trepidatious about returning to the open ocean after rejecting Uk’otoa. He wants to make sure the third temple is sealed. It feels like it would be too easy for someone not to come and try to collect the job he left half-finished. He also wants to go back to Darktow.

Sam doesn’t know if Nott is still in love with Yeza, although she definitely still loves him. He’s playing with the idea of a high school sweetheart being exposed to the world and then going back home. But Yeza’s amazing, a great guy, perfect. “I guess we’ll find out when/if she turns back into Veth.” Sam feels guilty talking about him. “He’s a fictional character and I feel guilty that he might be watching the show.”

Neither Nott nor Fjord trust Essek. Travis: “He just went from being cold and aloof to being really warm. I know there’s been time and he’s lived an isolated life, but...time will show if he’s being genuine. All of our haunches were up. All of us were on level five alert.” He’s being so helpful that Travis doesn’t trust Mercer with him.

Fjord never ever considered becoming a paladin of the Traveler. “No. Fuck no!” The Wildmother reached out and directly intervened to save him. Travis gets super creepy bad vibes from the Traveler’s relationship with Jester (Sam agrees).

Nott feels more pressure when her own problems become the focus. It’s hard for her to open up and talk about her feelings. She’d rather pick up on other people’s problems. Sam also acknowledges it’s more pressure on him (and anyone) as a player when the whole table is looking at you.

And that’s that! Is it Thursday yet?

[deadshctx]

hiya folks! spike here, with my angsty son FLOYD LAWTON. i have his bio up HERE and his full application under the cut. LIKE THIS POST and i’ll hop in ur dms for plots! 

IN CHARACTER:

basic info

full name: Floyd Lawton

face claim: Dev Patel

age (include physical age, if different): 30

gender & preferred pronouns: cismale, he/him

MBTI Type: ISTP

occupation: NOVA Contractor

aliases (if any): Deadshot

affiliations (if any): NOVA, ARGUS, Task Force X

1. Is your character human, mutant, metahuman, alien, inhuman, or other? If other, please elaborate: Human

2. What are your characters powers/special abilities, if any?: n/a

3. Please provide three headcanons for your character:

1) Floyd isn’t suicidal, but he has a death wish. There’s a sort of carelessness to the way he works that betrays the little worth he places on his life. He tends to deflect any observations about this with humor—most people who work with him know not to question. It doesn’t get in the way of him getting the job done. He just knows that his job is high risk, and if he dies...he just doesn’t care.

2) Of the members of the suicide squad, Floyd was probably the most level-headed. He was never the kind of costumed criminal the rest of them were, not the type to make flashy shows of his work or do it because of some innate desire. Sure, it takes a certain kind of person to become an assassin of his caliber, but make no mistakes: he has always just been in it for the paycheck.

3) A faraway dream of Floyd’s is to move to India with Zoe, where no one would be able to find them. If he could give it up—if he thought he’d ever be able to give up Deadshot—he’d do it in a heartbeat. He knows, however, that it’s never going to happen. He’s never going to be able to stay out of trouble, and he was just going to have to live with the havoc that would wreak on his daughter’s life.

4. List four personality traits (two positive and two negative) and explain how they influence your character.

+ focused

Floyd has always been good at his job. It was something that came naturally to him, always a fastidious, methodical young person who liked making plans only to revel in the chaos when he threw them out the window. Needless to say, Floyd is deadly.

+ adaptable

As much as Floyd likes following his own plans, he also is always ready to throw them out the window. He’s the kind of person who thrives in the moments when thinking on your feet means life or death.

- reckless

Floyd’s foolish actions haven’t gotten his various teams in trouble yet, but there’s bound to be a fuck-up sometime.

- flippant

A lot of the time, people get frustrated working with Floyd because he refuses to take anything seriously. The combination of his death wish and his sole motivation of a paycheck, Floyd has never found much reason to take anything too seriously, even situations that are life or death.

5. Provide three potential plots you’d like to explore. The admins will do our best to accommodate your plot ideas, but we can’t guarantee all requests.

1) I want to see him do something horrible to the people who experimented on him at Belle Reve. Not only would this just be a cool plot to play out, but I think Floyd has always valued that he’s managed to keep his mind his own. ARGUS and others have taken a lot from him, and a lot of the time, he’s felt like he’s nothing more than a killing machine that they rent out, and it was his own sureness in his sanity that often kept him from doing something drastic. Not being able to trust that anymore would make him furious, and his only coping mechanism has been violence. It would be a type of catharsis when he finally gets rid of all of them that I think Floyd would not have experienced before in his life.

2) Something that I think will be really interesting for Floyd moving forward would be for him to now have a more active role in his daughter’s life. He has been absent for so much of it, and now she’s six and like...a real person and that’s finally sinking in for Floyd. The things he does will blow back on her, and if there is anyone in this world he loves, it’s Zoe Lawton. Having to come to terms with the fact that if he wants this time to be different, he’’s going to have to do some things differently is going to be a tough pill for him to swallow.

3) It would be super fun if a character in game hired Floyd against another character in game. It would be hilarious to watch Floyd chase someone around and then give him a dumb reason for not going through with it honestly it would be great.

character bio

Before the ban, he wasn’t anyone, and after the ban went into place, no one noticed when he disappeared deeper into the forgotten reaches of the system. The ugly dregs of a new normal that no one wanted to look at.

Floyd spent some time in Belle Reve after the start of the ban, mostly because no one really knew what to do with the suicide squad. Eventually, the squad was split up and Floyd was sent to Star City to work as a private contractor for ARGUS. He was still very much their prisoner—the words just made it seem better than it was.

ARGUS controlled Floyd’s entire life at this point, and he had grown used to it. He had grown complacent, tamed unwillingly into obeying the routine that had become his whole life. At one point, he had been the most highly sought after assassin in the world. Now, he was just another cog in ARGUS’ machine.

That never sat right with Floyd, and he had never learned how to solve his problems without a bullet, which was why he put one in Waller’s head.

ARGUS, at that point, was quickly losing its foothold to NOVA, and in the ensuing chaos, no one had time to deal with a loose cannon asset no one liked working with. They tossed him back in Belle Reve and forgot about him.

But he didn’t forget, not through every single nightmare Belle Reve put him through. If the asset won’t be in use, they thought, we can put him to use right here. And they did, putting him into all sorts of fucked up scenarios and seeing if he could fight his way out of it. When he did, they’d convince him that it wasn’t real.

Finally, they got bored of their game, or NOVA needed a pinch hitter, or some other dumb fucking reason that Floyd doesn’t give a fuck about, and they released Floyd. Of course, they couldn’t do it like normal people, and they plopped him back in Star City with a new tracker in his arm and a thirst for violence he’d never felt before.

He doesn’t think it’ll ever go away.

sample

blood, violence tw

Floyd wasn’t doing well in the dormitory, to say the least.

For a while, he was okay, cracking jokes when he felt like it and more often than not sullenly going through the motions, just like everyone else. It seemed like he could be normal, that maybe he could be okay and that whatever had happened before that had kept him out of the field for so long was just a memory.

It was in the third week that the fighting started.

At first, it was a broken nose, a dislocated thumb, a black eye. Minor injuries, things that were unacceptable to NOVA but just shy of irredeemable. So, Floyd stayed in the house. And the more he stayed in the house, the more his anger grew.

He’d spent months in solitary at this point. Fuck it, a year, probably. He wasn’t ready to be thrust back into something so new and so overwhelming all at once. Every single person in that house had their dicks out like they had something to prove, and Floyd, who had absolutely nothing to prove, showed them exactly who was on top.

It wasn’t until he killed someone that they took him out.

Floyd thought about it, the way he felt standing over the body, blood pooling under his head and his eyes glassy and unmoving. Floyd wasn’t used to killing up close like this, relying on the safety of distance whenever he took out his targets. It was clean. Precise. He didn’t see the bloody aftermath.

It was fascinating to him. That was concerning to them.

So, they moved him somewhere alone, and Floyd hated it even more than the dormitory. The silence made his ears ring. At night. he woke up with nightmares of drowning.

Even then, lying awake in bed, he was consumed with the feeling of water entering his lungs. It had happened, he swore. They had told him at Belle Reve that nothing happened, showed him scans of his lungs, clear of any inflammation, and said that it had been a terrible hallucination. All in his head.

But he felt it. He could have sworn he felt it. Water, rising through his cell as he desperately searched for an escape, the feeling of his blood mingling with the water as he clawed at the walls. He remembered the feeling of inhaling water, the pain and shock of a rush of water into the delicate structures of his lungs.

He remembered being administered CPR.

He rolled over in bed. Would he really hallucinate CPR?

Fuck. He wanted to punch someone right then, but he couldn’t, because he got himself kicked out of the fucking dormitory. Way to fucking stick it to ‘em, Floyd.

He felt nauseous. He swallowed it back.

He knew the truth. He had to.

[anniemar]

For the readers ...

So can we talk? I feel like we need to talk. (fistbump if you watch Rich Lux)

I’m about to get personal because I’ve been noticing a few things over the years and I’m ready to talk. 

I’m a writer. I support other writers. Veteran writers and also would-be writers. But I’m also a big reader. And I support the readers too. The fans. I see a lot of entitlement going on with writers sometimes, and I’m here to remind you that yes, writers make content, but readers are the lifesblood of fic. 

I kinda took a break from fandom as a writer and then recently, slowly, made my way back to it. I’ve written here and there over the past two years, but nothing crazy like I used to. There’s a lot of reasons. Life gets in the way. Muses go on the fritz. And sometimes a fandom you’re a part of seemingly goes off the rails, a dustbowl moves in. 

When I wrote my first fic I had no expectations, just posted into the void of cyberspace. I’d spent a year just reading. I wasn’t really a part of fandom yet, I was a lurker. I posted on ff.net, not quite understanding how to work AO3, and most of the fics I’d read were on ff.net anyway. Tasertricks was my jam, after exhausting all North & South fic, and a little Vampire Diaries. I had zero fandom friends, no tumblr interaction, and only communicated with readers through DMs on ff.net. 

When people began to comment on my first fic I was stunned. I didn’t expect anyone to actually read it. I was just practicing, mostly. That’s what it felt like. Posting my Tasertricks fic into the void. For the hell of it. 

And then I got readers. I got readers who commented on every chapter. Some of them left long ones, others just a few words, but I cherished all of them. I read them over and over again. It really did fuel my writing sometimes, and I’d find myself writing a paragraph and thinking “hmmm ... i wonder if so-and-so will like that line”. And even if some chapters got less comments than others, I still kept going. I was writing this to get better. 

I eventually finished that fic, it’s one of the things I’m most proud of to this day. Manic Taser Dream Girl, my first child. It taught me that I could write a book if I wanted to (and I want to). I made some dear fandom friends, hung out on Tumblr, switched to AO3 and now I can’t imagine spending all my time over on ff.net. You evolve. Fandom evolves. 

But sometimes I think back on my first experience with fic and think about the purity of it. I had no expectations, I was writing because it was fun and I loved the source material, and the people who commented were so dear to me. 

It gave me a push. It also made me realize how important comments can be to a writer, so I made a conscious effort to make sure and comment on every fic I read, especially if it’s current. I might not comment on a fic that’s 5 years old with 4,000 kudos and 1,000 comments, but a current one, I always try to. I understand the struggle wholeheartedly. 

And fandom for the most part has been amazing, it’s kept me going at times, brought me so much joy and cherished friendships. It’s been a beacon of light through depression and anxiety, addiction. A comfort when all else failed. It’s led me to people I have SO MUCH in common with. True friends. 

But then on the other hand I observed how other people sometimes come into fandom as an agent of chaos. Divide and conquer types. Energy and muse vampires. I never understood it. I always stood back and mainly watched. I watched my beloved MCU fandom turn into something weird. It wasn’t fun anymore. People drifted away. 

It happens in fandoms. People just get interested in other things, it happened to me. I started to write in Vikings. Found a beautiful community there, more dear friends. Stretched my legs. I wrote a fic for The Alienist, even though 10 people watched that show. I wanted to write for smaller fandoms because I wanted to get back to actual writing. I didn’t care about the kudos or the comments anymore, I just wanted to go back to that purity. Me and the void. I don’t know anyone here. I want to post this thing because i love these characters SO DAMN MUCH and they’re in my head. If anyone wants to read it, even better, I love you. 

I recently wrote a fic for Stranger Things. Again, no expectations. I could have received 5 kudos and zero comments, I didn’t care, Jopper got in my head. I had to write it. And I FINISHED IT. I was so proud of that. I finished it. Because it was about the love of the material. It was the love of the characters. And there were a few dear sweet commenters that took the time to send me nice words on every chapter, dear sweet people who left kudos, dear sweet people who gave me a hit, and dear sweet people who I’m sure just skimmed through it and clicked to another fic. It’s all good. 

I go back to the MCU more frequently now because I truly miss it. I’ve never stopped being a fan. I’m still in the movie theater seat for every MCU film at the first possible viewing. But in fandom I’ve noticed that things are different. Fans are less vocal. Afraid to have opinions. Afraid to comment. Afraid to interact. Scared to have an unpopular opinion. But I tell you, it’s okay to have that unpopular opinion, because someone else out there has it too. And this is how we find each other. 

As writers we need to remember what it was like when we were first lurkers and readers, who gradually worked up the nerve to comment, then to interacting on tumblr, and writing our own stuff. It takes time. If we put too much pressure on readers to comment, the readers won’t stay. If we give them too many rules and regulations, they’ll just move on. It’s not a job for us writers, yes, it’s free content, but it’s not a job for them either. 

We need to cool it these these “how to comment” manifestos. In the end they’re meaningless and do more harm than good. 

If readers feel like they can’t interact, it’ll have an effect throughout fandom, they’ll just stop commenting on everyone’s fic, afraid of displeasing the author with the wrong kind of comment. It might make them not want to write their own fic, dip their own toes in. 

You never know what a reader is feeling. It might take everything they have just to log on and give you a little heart, and that has to be enough. Or a kudo. Or someone who’s writing that comment who’s first language isn’t English, and they’re afraid of using the wrong words. What must that feel like? I speak conversational Spanish and I’d never feel confident enough to leave a comment on a Spanish-language fic. But I could leave a heart. 

In the end, there’s no right way to do this. There’s only “don’t be a dick”. Don’t be a dick to writers, of course, but also ... don’t be a dick to the readers. The commenters, the people who have been around for years and years and also the ones who are new and still working up the nerve to hang out. To come out of that lurker stage. And hell, even if they never come out of lurking, that’s okay too. We need to give readers and commenters room to get comfortable and to evolve too. Just as our writing grows more comfortable and evolves. 

And criticism? 

I think I’m in the minority because criticism doesn’t tend to bother me. I know it’s a big issue with a lot of people, many are sensitive about it, but I have a pretty thick skin. Sometimes it’s even easier for me to take criticism than compliments. With a big compliment sometimes it takes me awhile to respond because it’s too big for me, I need time to deal ;-) I need time to stop crying lol. 

I haven’t had too many problems with criticism. If anyone tells me about a typo it doesn’t bother me. I’m usually like, THANKS MAN, because I’m dyslexic and words get jumbled up for me. I have to edit and reread my chapters in different fonts to try and catch everything and I still don’t catch stuff. And sometimes I don’t have my work beta’d because well, on one hand I’m impatient sometimes and on the other hand I keep strange hours. 

I think some of the worst (and funniest) criticism I ever got was over mentioning Kanye West in Manic Taser Dream Girl, and whenever the commenter complained about it, it just made me want to use Kanye in the fic more ;-) You have to be able to brush that stuff off sometimes. And the mean stuff? Mean comments say more about the commenter than the writer. I’ve always just tried to leave a “hey, thanks for reading anyway” and left it at that. It’s all you can do, really. 

I’ve written travel articles for New Orleans publications before and I’ve gotten some really hurtful and nasty comments, under my real name. That will thicken your skin. I don’t mind if someone tells me to knock off the Kanye West  references after I’ve been called a yankee carpetbagger libtard who needs to move back to Ohio. I posted a red beans and rice recipe once and you would have thought I personally led General Sherman through New Orleans with the amount of nasty comments I got lol. 

It comes with the territory. And I want to write, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What I’m trying to say is, if you get a negative comment, don’t let it stop you from writing. Keep going. Keep learning. Keep getting better. Don’t let the terrorists win. You can always say that you don’t want critique in your author’s notes, but I’d recommend that eventually, you want to just let it go as you evolve as an author, because if you want to ever get to a point where you’re publishing original content, you’re going to need some practice handling whatever comes your way. 

Because if I gave my readers a bunch of rules and regulations, or a manifesto on the “right way to comment” (when there is no right way) ... they’re just not gonna comment at all. Fic is not a job for the writer, it’s not a job for the reader either. 

The only rule should be “don’t be a dick”. Don’t be a dick writer. Don’t be a dick commenter. Don’t be a dick fandom agent of chaos. Just don’t be a dick and we can have this beautiful thing of fandom and community and support. And laughter and good feels. Everyone feeling as if they’re a part of something awesome. Even the lurkers. They’re at home reading shit and they give that silent fistbump, and I can feel those good vibes even from here. 

To all my readers, thanks for all of it. Every single thing. Even those mean Kanye comments. I cherish everything. The kudos. The hearts. The incredible well-wishes from people who are nervous about writing in English. The people who leave comments on every chapter, who follow my work to other fandoms, all of you. Please, never be nervous to interact with me. Ever. I am always ready and willing to cry over our fave characters. Or to help anyone with their work. To give advice. To listen to whatever is going on. If I don’t respond immediately, it’s only because I’m busy or I’m a human disaster and don’t see everything right away. 

Thank you, dear readers. For answering when I post things into the void ;-) 

I love you. All the hearts. 

[anti-pasto]

for the 200 ask thingy, i actually dare you to do all of them. :D

delgaskarthalexhere we go, anon: 

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now, I don’t get them often (if I ever had a crush at all)

199: I was born in: 2003

198: I am really: A 2005 emo kid x a 2008 scene kid x a 2014 tumblr fangirl x Kyle himself

 197: My cellphone company is: Apple

194: My ring size is: Honestly? No idea. Propose to me with a sword.

 193: My height is: Somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″

192: I am allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of 

191: My 1st car was:  94 Station Wagon, by request

190: My 1st job was: being this funny is a full-time gig

 189: Last book you read: Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

188: My bed is: “made”

187: My pet: I have a cat, I love her very much and I will show her to you if you dm me a cursed image

186: My best friend: We don’t use “best friend” for personal reasons, but they’ve been with me since I was 5 so, my one and only Bro

185: My favorite shampoo is: anything with “silky smooth” or “strawberries” on the bottle. i’m not that picky anymore.

184: Xbox or ps3: xbox or ps4  xbox

183: Piggy banks are: really useful

 182: In my pockets: wallet, keys, phone, earbuds, black pen/pencil, earplugs, mini flashlight

 181: On my calendar:  i’m meeting a friend for smoothies tomorrow

 180: Marriage is: something we shouldn’t push so much onto people. it’s a declaration of love, not an end-all fix-all to your life. i can’t ever see myself getting married but who knows!

 179: Spongebob can: continue to be a relevant meme

178: My mom: i mean. we function. i can’t really complain about my family at large but i am defiantly looking forward to living literally as far away from them as i can. 

 177: The last three songs I bought were? psh, you think i pay for music? (folie a deux, lake effect kid, believers never die volume two) (those are albums but its okay)

176: Last YouTube video watched: I watched Markiplier play Uno

175: How many cousins do you have? 11? 12? I lost count

174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother

 173: Are your parents divorced? Nope!

172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes, I have been for a while

171: Do you play an instrument? dude HECK yeah! i vibe on piano, guitar, ukulele, clarinet, and im a drum major

170: What did you do yesterday? I went on a drive by myself.

 [ I Believe In ] 

169: Love at first sight: Nope.

168: Luck: Yes, but luck is something that can be engineered

167: Fate: To an extent

 166: Yourself: I’d say overall, yeah. I still have doubts tho

165: Aliens: Mmmmmm yeah

 164: Heaven: Yes

163: Hell: Yes

162: God: Yeup

 161: Horoscopes: without an ounce of truth, they would have died a long time ago

160: Soul mates: the greeks had seven words for love. i think we have multiple soul mates to fit each of those categories. there are definitely people we’re just meant to vibe with

159: Ghosts: i want to say yes but i really dont know

158: Gay Marriage: yes. its 2020. grow up.

157: War: in theory? no. war is kinda messed up. in reality? not everyone is going to be down to nice diplomatic conflict resolution, and not everyone is just gonna leave people *countries* they don’t like alone, so...

156: Orbs: ??? energies are real

155: Magic: vibes are real

 [ This or That ]

 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: i am a child of jesus

152: Phone or Online: online

 151: Red heads or Black haired:  irdc but black hair bc i am Emo

150: Blondes or Brunettes: blonde?? ig?? easier to dye

149: Hot or cold: hot weather + cold rooms

148: Summer or winter: summer

147: Autumn or Spring: autum (screw spring)

 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla

145: Night or Day: night

 144: Oranges or Apples: oranges (better to share with homies)

 143: Curly or Straight hair: i dont care but curly

 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonald give iced coffee

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate

 140: Mac or PC: pc for vidgya gaemes

139: Flip flops or high heals: ...converse. please. i cant walk properly in either of those

 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 

 137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama: this is kinda outdated but obama

135: Burried or cremated: cremated i aint watch spn for nothin

134: Singing or Dancing: singing. at least that gets better with practice

133: Coach or Chanel: chanel (thank u mr frank ocean and also the neighborhood)

 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: whomst

 131: Small town or Big city: big city and if you say small town you’ve never lived in a small town

 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target

 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: who tf is this

 128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk dude probably pedicure i don’t like people touching my hands and i use them for too much to get my nails done

127: East Coast or West Coast: hnngggggggg west coast has more to do but east coast has better beaches and 

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday 

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate bc then i can give u some

124: Disney or Six Flags: ive only been to disney so disney (though i AM a HARDCORE rollercoaster stan so it wouldnt take much for me to say six flags)

123: Yankees or Red Sox: what 

 [ Here’s What I Think About ]

 122: War: unfortunately sometimes necessary but not as a first resort i went over this already 

 121: George Bush: is that the shoe guy?

 120: Gay Marriage:  be gay. do crime. kiss wife. or husband. or partner. basically, hell yeah

119: The presidential election: america need 2 b single and focus on herself

 118: Abortion: pro-choice and that choice should be made by the one carrying the baby

117: MySpace: tumblr’s dad

116: Reality TV: don’t talk to about abt this

 115: Parents: disgusting. go to therapy. 

114: Back stabbers: if you’re gonna stab me in the back, pull my lungs through my ribcage bc that’s what my ancestor’s ghosts are gonna do to you (thanks great (x a few times) grandma viking ily thanks for the hair:) )

113: Ebay: good for merch and selling books

 112: Facebook: zuck my dick, data-theif

111: Work: i like doing work? like- i enjoy completing tasks and seeing my hard work pay off? it’s not that bad?

110: My Neighbors: old. boring. want me to babysit for free.

109: Gas Prices: i cant really complain rn they’re kinda low and im a little broke so

108: Designer Clothes: i vibe to them, honestly

 107: College: not for everyone but definitely for me

106: Sports: marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport but only technically speaking though you can make fair comparisons to sports such as cheer, and gymnastics where the idea is to put on a show and receive a score in the form of competition. 

 105: My family: disgusting

104: The future: the future doesn’t exist

 [ Last time I ] 

103: Hugged someone: god, don’t ask me this

 102: Last time you ate: uhhh like 9 hours ago? it was dinner and i had pizza

 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: three or four weeks ago by best bro came to visit and we vibed

100: Cried in front of someone: i finished twist and shout at school at the end of a very bad week. it was only a few tears but that’s as close as i get to crying

99: Went to a movie theater: whenever the last star wars movie came out

98: Took a vacation: last year i went to dc over summer break to see the Smithsonian, it was a lot of fun. i was supposed to go to altanta and florida this year but that didn’t happen for reasons

 97: Swam in a pool: last week

 96: Changed a diaper: never

 95: Got my nails done: never

 94: Went to a wedding: its been at least 6 years dude

93: Broke a bone: never, somehow

 92: Got a peircing: nope

91: Broke the law: technically, yesterday. 55 is too slow

90: Texted: just now

 [ MISC ] 

89: Who makes you laugh the most: the person in my snap named “junior”

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cat

87: The last movie I saw: probably into the spiderverse

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: things going back to normal. or somewhat normal. i need school to have a schedule bc i absolutely cannot force myself to function without outside influence

 85: The thing im not looking forward to: ironically, school in the fall. the way we’re going back is going to wreck me more than lockdown already has

 84: People call me: i only ft one of my bros and they know who tf they are if you ask to ft you’re getting fuckin blocked mate i dont do that shit video calls are for WORK and SCHOOL thats IT. but ppl call me by my nickname irl, i go by screech on here. 

83: The most difficult thing to do is: listen to my parent’s political opinions? live in a small town? force myself to be productive without a physical influence and reminder? put up with that one dude?

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

 81: My zodiac sign is: scoprio/leo/gemini

80: The first person i talked to today was: the potential bassist for our potential band? 

79: First time you had a crush: uhh im still not sure if it was a crush but i wanted them to myself and they wanted (and got) someone better. we were just friends so it doesn’t really matter

 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: the person on snap named “the great oracle”

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday, it was my brother

 76: Right now I am talking to: in order of snap names, “vibin ~[^.^]~”, “russian umbrella”, and “mom” (not really)

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully, a job that makes me happy

74: I have/will get a job: as soon as i know what’s going on with school. but like as an adult? wherever will hire me and pay my fairly. being a barista would be fun, but at a local place (not in my current town)

73: Tomorrow: ???? time for bad poetry: tomorrow i will see my friend/ admist this lasting chaos/ we will be each other’s solitude/ while sharing fruity drinks/ and when we both come home/ a smile we will bring

72: Today: idk what this means so more poetry: today i will be sleep deprived as always/ i will think of them and weep/ but no tears will fall from my eyes/ for i know there is a reason/ we went our own way

 71: Next Summer: i fr dont know whats goin on so: next summer i will be/ as happy as can be/ because i will be in pain no longer/ the earth is sure to heal/ and i will heal with her/ so i can enjoy/ the heatwave of next summer

70: Next Weekend: next weekend i will spend/ my days wasting away/ maybe ill finish hannibal/ again/ not that serial killers make the dopamine stay/ i will not see my friends/ or talk to my family/ i will seldom eat/ and live off coffee/ this has been my life/ all quarintine/ god someone please help me

 69: I have these pets: i have four cats, three chickens, and a dog

 68: The worst sound in the world: my dad and grandpa talking

 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Them

 66: People that make you happy: snap name time: the great oracle, junior, vibin ~[^.^]~, russian umbrella, mom, hero, booby-king 48, go to bed, son, pooper trooper, mac&cheese, plain egg biscuit, apple pie

 65: Last time I cried: i dont cry bitch (last week over officals that cant make up they gottdamned mindes)

64: My friends are: my family and i would die for each and all of them

 63: My computer is: an old hp but it play gaemes real good so it okie

 62: My School: is trash but the band pops off

61: My Car: old, fast, clean

60: I lose all respect for people who: are my dad

 59: The movie I cried at was: i cried over big hero six

 58: Your hair color is: blonde

57: TV shows you watch: supernatural, good omens, hannibal, parks and rec

56: Favorite web site: this hellsite or youtube

 55: Your dream vacation: out of the country with beautiful beaches, amazing food, and my best friend

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: the time i split the back of my head open, the time i split my chin open, and the time my then best friend said they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. i’ll let you guess which one hurt the most and which one i think about every fucking day

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium well. 

52: My room is: clean and a reflection of myself, or so i’ve been told

51: My favorite celebrity is: i do not engage in celebrity worship. ill follow them and reblog gifs/interviews but i dont really have a favorite. the less i know abt them the better.

 50: Where would you like to be: my own apartment in nyc

49: Do you want children: FUCK THEM KIDS BRO

 48: Ever been in love: i dont know if it was love. i dont know if it was a crush. what i do know id that i was attached and they didn’t feel the same, and why would they?

 47: Who’s your best friend: we dont really use best friend bc but “the great oracle” “junior” and “vibin ~[^.^]~”

46: More guy friends or girl friends: its 50/50

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: goin fast, the beach, playin video games

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: them

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: go to college, earn degree

 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: commit arson

 41: Have you pre-named your children: FUCK. THEM. KIDS. BRO.

40: Last person I got mad at: they do not understand that they do not know everything about something they’re not even involved in yet

39: I would like to move to: new zealand

38: I wish I was a professional: artist? musican? youtuber? who knows

 [ My Favorites ] 

37: Candy: nerds

36: Vehicle: 1970 mustang gt

 35: President: jfk only bc his assassination is the only good thing abt american history the rest of it is fucked up and shouldn’t have happened. also jfk’s song in assassians the musical goes hard

34: State visited: california

 33: Cellphone provider: verizon? apple? idfk

32: Athlete: what is sport

31: Actor: i don't watch shows or movies

30: Actress: i do not consume media

29: Singer: alex gaskarth or alexander deleon

 28: Band: fall out boy 

 27: Clothing store: hot topic (i will not apologize)

 26: Grocery store: okay harris teeter fucks but lidil’s has aloe vera juice and target at 9 pm energy so idk man 

25: TV show: supernatural...

24: Movie: big hero 6

 23: Website: tumblr or youtube

 22: Animal: snow leopard 

 21: Theme park: busch gardens bc roller coaster go fast

20: Holiday: christmas

19: Sport to watch: snowboarding bc its like skateboarding but on snow

18: Sport to play: anything with havy footwork (marching band is a sport)

17: Magazine: i do not condume media

16: Book: the ranger’s apprentice series as a whole makes up my all-time one favorite book

 15: Day of the week: friday bc its game day baybey

14: Beach: cocoa beach in florida but also i have so much left to experience 

13: Concert attended: i havent been to any notable gigs but i was supposed to go to hella mega

 12: Thing to cook: pancakes

11: Food: pizza or shushi

 10: Restaurant: chiplote

 9: Radio station: i like my local rock station and my local edm/top 40 station

8: Yankee candle scent: anything smoky or vanilla idc

7: Perfume: chanel no. 5 if i even wear it

6: Flower: Hydrangea

5: Color: orange

 4: Talk show host: cecil palmer

 3: Comedian: john maulaney

 2: Dog breed: yes

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ;)

That was a trip. But it was fun, please do things like this more often. Also, I don’t consume media by choice. I’m not sheltered I just can’t be bothered, and I have enough going on. That being said I will now be sleeping. Thanks again, Anon, I hope you have fun reading this :D

[pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles]

Colour Me In Part 3

“Oh that is not good,” Michael cracked up and Calum just glared at him.

“Will you shut up unless you're going to help,” he grumbled fiddling with his bass. Lunch with Eliza had been amazing, and he'd really felt like he was starting to get somewhere with this girl. Kevin's sudden appearance at lunch had him worried.

“Maybe it's better to get it all out now,” Michael tried to sound reassuring.

“Get what out now?” Luke asked, entering the room trailed by Ashton.

“His new girl's best friend is gonna tattle on him before he gets a chance to get it,” Michael told them.

“Wait I thought you weren't talking to Nat?” Luke asked slightly confused.

“No, dummy, the deaf girl, Eliza.” Ashton poked Luke in the side to get him out of his way. “I thought you guys were having lunch today?”

“We did,” Calum told him, “but her closest guy friend, Kevin,” Cal made a face when he said the name, “came out of nowhere and told her I looked familiar. So when I ask her where he works she says he's a model and works the door at Emerald City.”

The guys laugh but Calum cuts them off “and The Chelsea,” the guys stopped laughing, “and Lucky's,” Calum finished.

“Ooooh that fucking sucks dude,” Luke sat down facing him.

“Of all places though, I don't think there's a girl in that bar that hasn't seen your dick at some point,” Ashton laughed.

“You're one to fucking talk,” Calum huffed, “you're worse than me. Didn't you have Cass over last weekend?”

“I did actually, she says hi by the way, keeps joking about wanting a threesome with both of us,” Ashton chuckled.

“She's not joking,” Calum shot back raising his eyebrows.

“Okay so Cass, Kimmie, Jen…” Luke started naming names.

“Hollie and Haley,” Michael chimed in.

“…Alanna, Charlotte, Jay, and most currently Natasha….so yea Calum is a straight up fuckboy.”

Kevin leaned towards Eliza, nodding his head furiously as he signed with quick dramatic gestures.

Eliza, sitting across from him on the couch, threw up her hands in exasperation at the way Kevin was so concerned for her well being over Calum. He'd insisted on her coming over after work so they could talk.

“Did you think I didn't know that? He's in a band. I work for a publicist. Laura, my co-worker even had a thing with his friend Ashton. You and Mags act like I've never encountered fuckboys before. Besides have you seen Calum? I'm trying to have some fun here.”  Eliza’s hands were tense as she signed slowly and deliberately, her face a mask of sarcasm.

Kevin laughed and rolled his eyes setting his phone down so he could look at her while they talked.

“Listen,” he signed,” I just don't want you to get hurt. None of the girls had anything bad to say about him except, the second you fall for him Calum lets you down gently, but he does not stick around.”

“KV, you know I don't have time for a boyfriend. My job is crazy. My personal project, Mr Zachary James, is a little shit who won't stay out of trouble, and my boss is terrifying. I know I'm not as experienced as you, or Calum,” Eliza smirked at him and Kevin flipped her off. “The guys I've dated have been boring or turned out to be assholes. I want an adventure, is that so wrong?”

Kevin rolled his eyes, “This is pointless, all the women in your family are stubborn as hell. Just be careful. I do think it's cute he's learning to sign. How much you wanna bet that's your sister?” He signed as both their phones buzzed.

Open Group Chat

Mags the Mighty Okay today has been insanely busy. I know you two are huddled up discussing lunch with Rock Star. What's the consensus?

Maggie sat back and waited knowing both of them were desperately trying to be first.

King KVN so you already know your sister is impossible, but I found out dog boy has been getting it with all the models, thots, and bad bitches that work at Lucky's and The Chelsea. This bitch doesn't care because she's thirsty. I'm trying to talk some sense into her.

Big EZ basically everything he said is true, but he has to be extra about it. From here on out every time you call him dog boy I will scuff one of your sneakers.

Mags the Mighty so wait you're okay with Calum fucking around like that? I mean he's hot and for a vacation hookup or weekend hookup sure. He's taking you on dates, asking about your family, and even signing… Maybe he likes you.

Big EZ  I don't have time for any of that Mags. Besides look at Patrick and Miguel it's not like I've got a great track record

King KVN those dipshits weren't your fault and I will not tolerate my best friend putting herself down. Miguel was too insecure to handle a woman as smart and beautiful as you and he cheated to compensate. That's on him not you. Patrick is a sad little man with a sad little dick who tries to slide into your DMs WEEKLY even though he's supposedly happy with his girlfriend.

Mags the Mighty You're so extra Kev. we are not here to discuss Eliza's dismal history with men. Besides that was high school and we're all trying to pretend that never happened. When do we get to hang out with rock stars?

BIG EZ I haven't heard from him since lunch. He got all weird after Kev popped up. If you messed this up for me. I swear I will maim you.

Just then Eliza's boss interrupted their conversation with a flurry of text messages. Another client, country music party girl Shelby Keeler, had just been arrested in Texas in a bar fight, and TMZ had footage. Evie already had Maria Reynolds, the only person helping her with the nightmare that was Zachary James, on a plane to Houston to do damage control.

Not only that but his ex girlfriend, model and heiress Daisy Moss, was rumored to be hanging back around. Zachary was smart enough to try and keep this from Eliza and Jeanette, his manager, as their drug fueled bust up in a hotel suite had almost destroyed his career and cost him most of his sponsors.

Zac had been a child actor and teen pop star before washing out at 17. A couple years after that he'd built a following on YouTube with a series of videos documenting his failed comeback attempt, his struggles with mental health, and life post fame. He showed how he cared for his mom who was deaf and had a bad back from a car accident. His sister was in and out of his life as she bounced between rehab and addiction.

He'd developed his YouTube channel as a launch pad for phase 2 of his career getting a reality show on E that was entering its fifth season. However, two years ago he'd met Daisy, and since then his life had been chaos.

Eliza sighed, annoyed that her weekend was now going to be spent worried at the prospect of all her hard work with Zac going to shit. She realized when she finally got home she still hadn't heard from Calum since they'd parted ways after lunch. That was unusual but it was the weekend and Calum was probably at some bar with one of his girls. Eliza was stunned how pissed off the idea of Calum hitting on another woman made her.

Calum didn't know what to do. He wanted to text Eliza and somehow explain himself, but there was nothing to say. Everything Kevin could tell her was true, and for the first time in a long time Calum felt a bit ashamed of his behavior. Not out of regret or a sense of morality, he hated how it looked and what it might cost him. He declined to go out that night, and instead huddled up in his apartment with Duke.

Calum pouted the entire weekend. He didn't leave the house or talk to anyone for two days. Instead he ordered takeout, worked on a song, or watched videos on his laptop. He checked Eliza's Twitter and Insta but there were no posts. He even checked Zachary James’ accounts to see if work was keeping her busy, but found nothing.

Eliza spent the entire weekend with Jeanette keeping an eye on Zac. Daisy was back around and had even come by the house a couple times. Luckily he was ignoring his ex, for now, but between him whining about his failed relationship, and Jeanette bitching about Zac, Eliza was irritated for 48 hours, and it gave her a headache. By Monday morning she was in a terrible mood and took part of the morning off to spend some time with Oliver. They went to Marian's because lemon bars always lifted her spirits.

She saw Calum pulling out of the parking lot as she started to turn in. Eliza thought he saw her, but then he was gone. After placing her order and settling into a table on the patio she found herself distracted, glancing at the entrance hoping to see him walk in. Finally she'd had enough, Eliza wasn't going to let Calum ghost her without calling him on his bullshit.

Haven't heard from you since Friday, makes me wonder if Kevin frightened you off. I gotta admit, I'm disappointed, didn't think you'd scare that easily. I thought you were tougher than that.

She hit send and immediately wanted to take it back. She sent Kevin a screenshot of what she'd done and to her surprise he was awake and answered back.

Yaaasssssss, tell him about himself. I will say this tho… Your boy was nowhere to be seen this weekend. All his boys came out to Lucky's Saturday night, and I know for a fact both Haley and Nat hit him up this weekend.  No one's heard anything.

He could always have girls you don't know about.

Stop that, we all know I know everything

Eliza stopped laughing when Calum’s name popped up

I'm an ass. I knew what Kevin would tell you, and it's all true, I can't deny that. I figured you'd be done so I just didn't feel like talking to anyone this weekend. I stayed home and worked on some songs.

Do you really think I was that shocked? You're in a band, you're young, and hot. You had a hickey when we met up at the dog park. I may not be very experienced, but I'm not some sheltered, naive, stupid little deaf girl.

Okay okay I'm sorry, I should have texted you. It looked bad, but I never ever thought you were naive or stupid. I think you're smart, funny, and charming. I thought a woman as classy as you could do better than someone with my history. Let me take you on a proper date. We can even be chaperoned.

What are you even talking about? Chaperoned?

Yes, let me take you out to dinner and Oliver and Duke can come along and make sure I behave like a gentleman.

You're playing the Duke card, that's completely unfair.  

Tomorrow night? I can pick you guys up.

Tomorrow is fine. Tell me the time and place and I'll meet you there. I’m not ready to have you meet my mother.

Eliza realized she was holding her breath and exhaled suddenly very nervous. Her first real date with Calum, and he was determined to treat her like a lady. She wasn't entirely sure how to feel about that. What she was sure of is that she needed to figure out what to wear. She texted Maggie and Kevin and headed to work.

Eliza glanced back at Oliver in the back seat as she put the car into park. The little dude was smiley and wagging his tail although a bit apprehensive by the unfamiliar surroundings. Eliza has been thrilled when Calum told her he wanted to try Mohawk Bend, it was her sister's favorite pizza place and very dog friendly. The hostess waved to Eliza and Oliver doing a bit of a double take.

Kevin had outdone himself with her outfit tonight. He'd put her in black leggings and her black push up bra that made her boobs look huge. He then wrapped a tan cashmere scarf around her chest, hiding her cleavage so her mom wouldn't bitch. Over that he'd layered a burgundy lightweight dress, that was actually a swimsuit cover-up, using one of his belts to turn it into a cute tunic. They'd decided on simple makeup with a dark burgundy lip, black motorcycle boots and a careful application of gold highlighter to her face, body, and hair to complete the look. Her hair was in a loose Grecian braid with gold wire wrapped throughout helping tame her curls.

Calum saw Eliza walk up to the podium and show the hostess his text message about already having a table. She looked amazing without trying too hard. He'd promised to behave like a gentleman, but as his eyes took in her curves as she walked up the table,  his thoughts turned carnal.  Oliver and Duke greeted each other like long lost friends. Eliza smiled at him and his mind went blank. He grabbed his phone.

I had this really cool plan to impress you with some new signs I learned this weekend, but I'm too nervous to remember any of them.

Eliza wanted to scoff at the idea of Calum Hood being nervous around any woman, but despite looking insanely handsome in his all black t shirt and jeans combo, he was fidgety and sweating.

He let her decide what to order so they could share. She chose the white mushroom pizza and fish tacos to split.

They played with the dogs while they waited for the food to arrive. When it did they took turns going to wash their hands and Eliza couldn't help but notice Calum left his phone on the table when he got up.

Dinner was lovely. They went through extra napkins as they kept getting sauce everywhere. Calum fed her tacos, she wiped sauce off his chin. They kept laughing at jokes no one else got with Oliver and Duke dozing snuggled together under the table. Calum heard an older couple making comments about them being on their phones.

How do you sign mind your own business?

Eliza looked up at him and he shot a quick glance at the older fellow giving them a sour look.

She looked back at Calum signing

“Mind your own business?” he asked out loud as his hands mirrored hers. She nodded and Calum heard the guy mutter “How was I supposed to know.”

Calum insisted Eliza take the rest of the pizza home to Maggie, paid the check with a generous tip, and walked them to her car. Standing next to her car they stood there texting, neither of them quite ready to see the night end or push it further.

Until a text from Evie broke the spell and Eliza needed to go.

Calum held up a hand mouthing “wait, wait” and sent another text.

I remember one of the things I learned now

Eliza looked up and Calum raised his eyebrows and signed “Can I kiss you?”

She nodded and reached up resting her hand on the back of his neck, pulling him towards her as he lowered his lips to hers.

They both melted into the kiss, lips parting, tongues colliding and his hand gripping her hip pulling her closer. Eliza felt him get hard and she pushed her body against him. Calum broke the kiss, panting and looking at her with nothing but lust in his eyes. Eliza wanted him to keep going but he shook his head.

I don't want you to think you're just another girl.

He signed “good night, I'll text you,” before giving her another quick kiss and picking Duke up so he could say his goodbyes.

@wildhearthood @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @cal-puddies @biba3434 @grittyisathot @angelbabylu @itstheholls @irwinkitten @5sos-ficssmut @cal-pal-cuddles @calumh-excess @1dthewantedlove @you-of-ghost @babygirlcashton @sublimehood @sugarcoated-pain @calteahood @the-fifth-season @kchillout @flannelpunkcalum @unabashedlymyself @5-secondsofcolor

[floggingink]

Riverdale, “Chapter Thirty-Eight: As Above, So Below”

Day At Least Seven Solitary Coif: struggling

Alice’s thigh: stunning

Sexy, aesthetic Southside: FP’s jellybean tattoo: incredibly, tenderly sad

Certified pedigree: “I’m glad the Farm opened you up to the possibility of us”: either Alice thought about this to herself, or she (absolutely) asked the rest of her cult what they thought. what they THOUGHT about her sleeping with FP again. “What d’you think, girls?” Alice wine clubbed FP Jones’s dick!

who has more game, FP or Jughead? FP a) is a grown man, b) is oftentimes gainfully employed (I’ve forgotten if he’s employed right now), c) is strong enough to carry a high school boy out of the woods, d) was VERY smooth with his seemingly instinctual “Then don’t. Tell him,” e) did that thing where he took the gum out of his mouth when Alice came to his trailer, and f) looked pretty good in his crisp Pop’s uniform when he was employed at Pop’s. however FP also a) tends to drink when not employed and b) is fucking obsessed with Toledo, a town I will burn to the ground if I ever set foot in it. meanwhile, Jughead a) climbed up a fucking ladder to Betty’s bedroom, b) ABSOLUTELY KILLED IT when he and Betty almost fucked each other in the kitchen, c) KILLED IT AND BURIED IT in the moments before fucking her on the couch when he was all, “Or you could stay,” and fucking touched her dress like she was an angel of the Lord and he was just a humble shepherd boy whose eyes were not worthy to gaze upon her countenance, d) only strategically removes his hat, and e) rides a motorcycle. the hat is not a con, necessarily, and being a writer in high school is a cross some of us simply have to bear, but he is like, kind of a pain sometimes and a little squirrelly, but w/r/t the love of his life, he has tailored himself to her every need almost perfectly

OH AND I FORGOT WHEN HE KISSED HER SCABBY BLOOD KNUCKLES! OH SHIT!

Veronica has the most game on the entire show

I like when they have Jughead use words like “modicum”

“Ben’s death haunts me, Jug. He didn’t scream. Why not, I wonder?”: writing credits this episode go to Daphne de Maurier

YYEEEAAAAAHHH THE BLUE & GOLD CRIME BOARD BABY

I would almost expect something more from the warden’s tie, except that I know plain clothing is, in and of itself, a warning sign

anything that gets Veronica in her reading glasses is okay by me, and this includes Pop’s hemorrhaging money

Jughead can wear just a T-shirt sans jacket or flannel any old time he wants, I’m just putting that vibe out there

“Of course we’re calling it a speakeasy.”

Jug’s suspender game is strong, so really Betty should know she has nothing to worry about

his stupid dumb round face looking at her when she pulls him aside is pretty. remember when he kissed her hands? fucking Jughead sometimes, dude

“Evelyn...creeps me out.”

I like Betty’s overalls and Evelyn’s romper thing

what I expected when Kevin dialed the phone was for the whole booth to sink into the basement like a surprise elevator

Kander and Ebb wrote the music to, among much else, Cabaret and Chicago, those being some of their most gay

I LOVE VERONICA’S WHITE SHIRT. IT’S JUST A FUCKING PLAIN WHITE SHIRT, SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL

Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides: is there some heat between Veronica and Reggie? am I crazy?

the foursome of Reg, Ronnie, Josie, and Kev is basically just as strong as the cour four strictly in terms of hair

I don’t know that I like Penny’s sleeveless Ghoulies vest more than her leather Serpents jacket but I do know I like it at least the same amount (oodles)

Fwoopy hair is the best hair: Day One Lifted Bag Off Head Hair: GREAT

OH MY GOD, JOAQUIN!!!! WHEN WILL JOAQUIN REST. DOES EVERY TERRIBLE THING HAVE TO HAPPEN TO JOAQUIN BEFORE IT HAPPENS TO SOMEONE ELSE. IS JOAQUIN IN THE FARM

does Archie have a scar on his head? is it KJ’s? have I lost track of something?

Gay?!: BABY TEETH is an absolute twink and he was tapped to save his life

I’m suspicious of Peter because his name is, simply, “Peter”

Gay.: Cheryl and Toni are just like lounging in a single chair together and that’s the bisexual agenda

Veronica was rich: Veronica’s heavy card stock IS very nice

Ethel’s cute yellow cardigan is back, which matches her thermos and lunchbox

I enjoyed when Betty sits down and you think she’s going to apologize for being there at Ben’s death but instead she just fucking grills Ethel some more

“...G&G.”

OOOOOOHHHHHHH JUGHEAD’S TURNING IT ON WITH THAT PRINCESS SHIT

Please protect Betty: Betty’s entire expression at being told she’s “not worthy,” God bless her

The female gaze: I don’t know why Reggie’s shirt is off. probably Reggie doesn’t even know

Reggie’s panicked JJ face is one of the top five panicked faces of all time. he’s tied at least with the girl in Jurassic Park when she sees the raptor shadow and her hand holding that green Jell-O starts shaking

Minetta doesn’t even pretend he’s looking for something other than whatever was in those boxes. cold, Minetta

REGGIE’S SALUTE

Reg simply being aware that Minetta and the Ghoulies work for Hiram almost brings me to tears. not only is he a walking sculpture with a pair of lips that would make Sarah Steller throw herself off the Hoover Dam, but he is also a genius

VERONICA IS SO BEAUTIFUL. “Not until I’m properly armed.” just look at her!

Ethel didn’t even come to the first meeting of the Farm Club? cold, Ethel

Evelyn offering Betty a pizza slice comes off as her genuinely wanting Betty to have a piece of pizza if she wants, which is the first non-creepy thing she’s done (Jughead would take the pizza)

she of course follows this up with “that darn medication”

Archie looks like a corpse in the blue light

tell me “wakey, wakey” is a Kill Bill reference. TELL ME IT IS

the guy they have fighting Archie looks just enough like Khabib Nurmagomedov that I was like, is this an unconscious wish on someone’s part to do a rematch of red-haired McGregor vs. Khabib except it’s on Riverdale so it’s in something called “the Pit” which is a drained swimming pool and they’re in juvie? (it’d have to be a fantasy in that Conor McGregor would get his ass beaten by Khabib Nurmagomedov in any rematch in any universe, in the universe)

dude does his best but, as Sweet Pea and Vintage Reggie can tell you, you cannot let Archie land a) a right hook or b) an uppercut or he will end this fight

who’re the rando white women watching? their fucking wives? goddammit, white women

I think Baby Teeth could take Reggie jawline-to-jawline

Veronica’s kittenish heels sinking into the dirt as opposed to her striding effortlessly as Moses parting the Red Sea

Cheryl’s a chaos angel from hell: “THAT VIPER BITCH”

Antoinette Topaz is fluent in many languages, including Veronica’s

God bless jingle-jangle: the fucking cat burglar sequence set to “Jingle Jangle” just about fucking did it

Ethel’s candle game is reaching midnight mass-levels of mastery

so did Betty and Jughead get their ad hoc sex den (good band name) out of the bunker before Ethel got there? or was it there the whole time but for Ben and Ethel?

I feel I want to write down that Ben abandoned Ethel to ascend prematurely with Dilton otherwise I’ll forget and will be tricked by something later on

POLLY’S KNITTED HALTER

closed captioning capitalized the Shady Man, the second strangest Riverdale skull

Alice really just did Betty like that! maybe Betty DOES need to live in a bunker

50 Shades of Betty: “The wig. The webcaming.”

I love how Betty always gets very sarcastically OH, OKAY THEN when she decides to start laying out some truths

Alice stands up and her dress has some sort of insane asymmetrical hemline and she’s also got an ankle bracelet!!!!!!

Dilton Doiley Ethel Muggs is a canonically great dancer the DM: Ethel’s little crush on Jughead circa his birthday party has not abated. even when he was being insane about the Serpents I bet she entertained sweet fantasies of buying a pleather jacket off ModCloth and Jughead “inducting” her. so she found herself a coterie of pliable boys who were also gangly and weird and obsessed with details and pacts and she became their princess. so THERE. you fucking bet she’s gonna get a kiss out of Jughead before she fucking poisons herself

Ethel’s dungeon master voice is giving me a sort of ASMR vibe

I don’t want to veer too wildly but she is wearing a crown, her character has “a crown”

dog, was she about to kill Jughead right then and there? Ethel goes hard. Ethel might go harder than Jughead

“You’re asking me to play Russian roulette!” “I’m asking you to play Gryphons and Gargoyles.” THIS BITCH (in context it’s very smooth and bitchy)

GOD BUT JUGHEAD DID DRINK IT. VERY WELL KNOWINGLY, HE DID IT

Jughead eats: Salud is just the sort of thing I’d expect Jug to say before maybe drinking cyanide (or skol, if he had been watching Ingmar Bergman)

I don’t know if I could drink that much Kool-Aid that fast. Kool-Aid and Sunny D always made my teeth feel filmy. I could definitely down that much Capri Sun, if it were in a pouch the size of my shin

anyway Ethel’s sick move telling Jughead he has to kiss her first got an emotional reaction from me at almost the level of when Cheryl came down to Jason’s wake in that white dress

Jughead and Ethel are almost of a height, which is weirdly lovely

These students are legally children: maybe Ethel put the poison in after Jughead had chosen. I maybe doubt she would’ve just fucking assassinated Jughead

Jughead was reading next to her when she woke up, which is just a specific kind of daydream you have, sometimes

Sixth period is Intro to Film: HEISENBURG

Toni’s pictures are certainly shot with a mind to lighting, depth

is blue light the light of evil? Hiram’s study, the warden’s office?

Archie > Dawson: of course Archie imagines talking to his father and of course he imagines his father telling him to “take one.” I love Self-Sacrificial Lamb Archie (or just momentarily self-sacrificing). better than Fascist Archie!

well, Betty’s room has blue light too. fucking forget it then

although she is SURROUNDED BY EVIL at all times

Mädchen Amick, MÄDCHEN AMICK: “I trust them more than I trust you” is season one-level Alice-shade

Cheryl’s sheaths: I like very much Cheryl’s bosomy sequin thing and Toni’s back jewelry

I also like the RROTC boys in their like WWII uniforms, which may be anachronistic but still hard vintage, and the cigar girls

Jughead doubts it: there’s so much going on when Betty goes all melty and wipes some of the Fresh-Aid off Jug’s lips and Jug, who is not smiling, looks at Sweet Pea helping Veronica

Best costume bit: Veronica is in magenta, because I deserve it

I can’t wholly endorse Reggie’s non-black plaid trousers paired with a solid black blazer but I CAN endorse Reggie as a whole

Cheryl’s Hiram’s pins: I think Hiram has a fucking octopus pin! I think it is!!!!!!!!

the wallpaper behind Hiram downstairs is...interesting. it’s like a cutout from that Disney cartoon for “Winter Wonderland”

we stay on Veronica’s face for sort of an extra beat, so I can confirm a) she’s still beautiful and b) she has a sparkly thing in her hair

The 2001 Josie and the Pussycats movie was a masterpiece: Josie’s got that thing going on where you gem up the part in your hair

God I love a good Riverdale music/mayhem montage. like what were they playing when Jughead ran the gauntlet? fuck sometimes this stuff is just still so good (“Mess Around” when Reggie lunged for Jughead also counts, though not performed live somewhere else in Riverdale at the same moment)

“Anything Goes” is in fact not Kander and Ebb but Cole Porter

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: I love a good bead of bloody spit dangling from someone’s mouth during a slow-mo fight sequence

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: “THAT KID…..IS A STAR.”

that fucking rum, can you believe it? the fucking shade of it all

Fifth period is AP English: OH MY GOD. THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO. OH MY GOD, THE FUCKING HAMMER. THE COUNT OF MONTE MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN YES GOD HOLY BITCH

“Damn good coffee”: the goddamn shot of FP and Alice standing together flanked by the flames of their righteous destruction of the G&G manual

Summer + Blair = Veronica: Veronica is pretty fucking brave to still be living in Hiram Lodge’s HOUSE. and of course that’s what her dressing gown looks like

oh my god, Joaquin is still alive? Joaquin’s STILL HERE?

ARCHIE’S GONNA BREAK OUT OF PRISON AND I MUST CLEANSE MYSELF OF SIN TO BE WORTHY OF ITS GLORY (I trust Riverdale a lot more again at the moment)

so wait, Jughead put the cot BACK? are these two different bunkers? is it the same effing bunker???

“It’s over”: you fucking fool

yes, it’s the same goddamn bunker. the candles are still there! I guess I thought the wicked juju from Ethel’s ~SUICIDE ATTEMPT~ would deter the two of them from FUCKING IN THE EXACT SAME BUNKER but Betty and Jughead literally do not give a single damn where they do it

Jug’s headphones!!!!!!!!!

Cheryl’s expression at reading the G&G manual is appropriately be-Blossomed

The Blossom spawn: she still has a photo of Jason in her locker and I think a sticker that says “Literally no one cares”

What damn high school in America: those manuals have a QR code on the back, so you can play on your phone! GIVE ME THE APP, RAS

who unsheathed Ethel? LORD, WHO LET HER LOOSE?

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NEXT WEEK: Camila Mendes wears glasses the entire time

[boystownbirdie]

LMWTV4U: GOT S7E2

It’s time for another installment of let me watch TV for you (LMWTV4U) where I watch TV shows so you don’t have to! Today I’ll be re-capping the latest ep of Game of Thrones, Season 7.

As always, spoiler alert! Also, reminder that I have a new feature called WHY DOES THIS SCENE EVEN MATTER or (WDTSEM?) to help us decipher those random scenes that seemingly serve no purpose. SO MUCH HAPPENED TONIGHT SO LET’S GO!!!!!

We start at Dragonstone where Khaleesi and co are still strategizin’

Khaleesi’s pals are trying to get her to attack QPC ASAP but she’s not really havin’ it. She proceeds to rip Sleevey a new a-hole for his lack of loyalty. If you’ll recall Sleevey is a schemer and is the one who basically brought together all of Khaleesi’s current crew but also was the one who sent assassins to kill Khaleesi back in season 1. She’s like will you be loyal 2 me? And he’s like sure...until I’m not anymore. And then you can kill me. And she’s like kewl good plan also will you lemme know if I’m doing a bad job as Kween and he’s like yep, sure.

Next, the red witch lady (who Bae sent away at the end of Season 6 because she burned alive this sweet bb gurl but also who brought him back from the dead) shows up on Khaleesi’s doorstep. Khaleesi is like hey what up I also speak the fanciest language and your religion is #trending back home and helping to keep people calm so… thanks. And the witch lady is like great, also FYI Bae is pretty fine and just got named “King of the North” thought you should know. Tyrion, who is like basically vice president, is like ya I remember Bae he was a kewl kid we met in Season 1. Obvi Khaleesi doesn’t know that Bae is her nephew yet but she’s like, well let’s invite him to hang out here but he’s got to #bowdownbitches to moi.

Later in the ep, we pop back by Dragonstone and Khaleesi is meeting with her peeps in the map room. Previously-traumatized Theon’s (PTT’s) sister is like we should launch our armies and dragons on Queen Pixie Cut (QPC) like right now please because she’s a shady bitch. And then the Sand Queen (she’s the one whose daughters are called the “Sand Snakes” and who stabbed her brother in law and took over down South last season) is like BTW I hate the Lannisters and my hubby got his head squeezed to death 2 seasons ago when he was defending YOUR honor, Tyrion and I’m not over it. And also Queen Makeunder’s (who got ‘sploded last season) grandma is there and she is like I miss my granddaughter and also you shouldn’t worry about burning up innocent people with dragons because QPC did it and now look at her!

Khaleesi is like I #respectmyelders but also, naw dawg. She decides PTT’s sis and Sand Queen will head down south and round up all of their troops together then they’ll attack QPC slowly because she can’t bring her Dothraki dudes and Unsullied troops over there it would be CHAOS. She does decide to send the unsullied troops to Tyrion’s hometown, Casterly Rock, to take that place over. Everyone is pretty on board with this plan except for Grandma so Khaleesi’s like DM- me, k? Khaleesi and grandma sit down and gma is like you should not trust Tyrion, this plan is dumb. Also, you ARE a dragon. And Khaleesi is like thnx for the inspo but.... I don’t wanna burn everyone up. 

Then, Khaleesi’s bestie/translator who is FLY AS HELL and has the coolest outfits and hairstyles, goes to talk to Greyworm, the leader of the unsullied army. These 2 have had the hots for eachother forever, so it’s no surprise when they FINALLY HOOKUP YAASSS GAGA! If you’ll recall the unsullied are all castrated as kids so he’s kinda embarrassed about his lack-of-package, but hottie translator is like NBD let’s do this. And so he, much like Jon Snow season 3, is like NBD lemme go down on you and she is LOVING IT. And it’s a great scene because we haven’t had nearly as much sensuality on GoT in the past few years and we needed it.

Let’s stop in Winterfell to check in on Bae and Sansa, shall we?

That letter that Khaleesi mailed to Bae has already arrived and Bae is like I know it’s legit because Tyrion put an inside joke in there that only he and I would get, OK? Sansa is like yep I was briefly married to Tyrion against both of our wills and he was v nice to me and treated me well. And No-Knuckles is there too and he’s like fire kills those ice zombies and dragons = fire and everyone is like sure but can we trust her?

Later in the ep, Bae gets the letter that his bestie, Sam, sent him in last week’s ep about how there’s heaps o’ dragonglass under dragonstone. Bae is like ok now that I’ve got these 2 very informative letters, I need to go see Khaleesi. All of his pals/ people loyal to him are like BAD IDEA, BAE don’t leave us we need you. And Sansa is like ya dude you can’t just leave and then no one’s in charge over here and he’s like LEAN IN GURL YOU DA KWEEN OF WINTERFELL. And she’s like I guess I never considered that but Ok, fine.

Then Bae stops by to visit their dad’s grave (well actually his uncle but he doesn’t know yet) and Littlefinger comes creepin’ around like hey remember how your stepmom was always mean to you? I was in love with her! And Bae’s like GTFO. And Littlefinger is like #you’rewelcome #dwaynetherockjohnsoninmoana  for helping you win this place back last season. And Bae is like don’t touch Sansa, k?

WDTSEM? We’re supposed to think Sansa might just take Littlefinger’s advice and do some sort of plot to take over from Bae, especially now that they’re fighting on the regs and now she’s all in charge. Personally, I think Sansa is smarter than that and also she’s made it quite clear that she’s grossed out by Littlefinger, esp his obsession with her mom. WHO KNOWS what will happen, but this last scene is probably supposed to plant some seeds of doubt.

We briefly touch base in King’s Landing with QPC…

She’s sitting on the coveted throne-of-swords and telling people how awful Khaleesi is. She’s like ya…. She’s gonna burn y’all up with her dragons. And everyone is like but remember last season when you burned up half of this city? Sam’s dad is there and he was a major dick last season and nothing seems to have changed in that department. QPC’s bro/lover, Jamie, is like will you please fight for us? And he’s like I would but I promised that grandma (who is currently #teamKhaleesi) that I’d be loyal to her so… no. But Jamie is like well if you change your mind I can put you in charge and you can forget about grandma. He doesn’t seem convinced but we’ll see.

Later in the ep, QPC checks out some dragon skulls with the “maester” because now that Khaleesi has these dragons, she’s gotta figure something out. He shows her this giant crossbow/catapult thing he’s made that can kill dragons and she’s like wow kewl.

We also briefly check in with Sam in “Old Town”

He’s still interning at the maester-training-academy and he’s treating Khaleesi’s former bestie, Stoney, who has that terrible skin-turning-to-stone disease. Sam’s boss is like sorry, Stoney, you’re done-zo, you have to go live with the stonemen. And Sam is like hold up, you’re a Mormont? My old boss when I was in the celibate-dude-ice-wall-guarding-army was your dad and he was a badass. Also, I had to watch these creepy dudes stab him so I owe your fam. He tries to talk about cures for the Stone disease but his boss is like SHUT UP YOU’RE JUST AN INTERN!

So Sam comes back that night and is like ok would it be kewl with you if I perform surgery on you, Stoney? I am just an intern and I’ve never practiced this before but let’s try it. And then we have to watch a truly disgusting surgical-removal of stone-skin that honestly even writing about it I’m dry heaving.

Arya is still on the road, headed to kill QPC last we checked…

She stops in to this pub to see an old friend name HOT PIE (that’s his real name, not a nickname) who is a wonderful chef. She eats some of his bread and drinks some beer and he keeps asking her questions but she is REALLY EVASIVE and won’t look him in the eye. He asks about Ladyknight, who we know is now working for Sansa full time, but who previously was trying to find Arya too. Arya is like, ya, she found me but then I had to head east to the face-swapping-assassin-training-academy. And he’s like you should check out Winterfell because I know you’re secretly a Stark. And she’s like NO THANKS, the Boltons are in charge over there and I don’t wanna get skinned alive. And he’s like NAW BITCH your bro, Bae, is in charge over there now. Which I guess in all of her travels she still didn’t know this? IDK seems fishy. But then she’s getting ready to leave and is about to keep heading to kill QPC but then CHANGES HER MIND AND HEADS TOWARD WINTERFELL! It was a very sweet moment in the episode and full disclosure I did tear up a little.

WDTSEM? Arya, in her current life as an assassin, has lost some of her humanity, as shown when she can’t even look her old pal in the eye. But finding out that her bro is still alive and that her old home, Winterfell, is in the Starks’ hands again has changed her. After meeting Ed Sheeran last week and his whole crew who reminded her of the importance of home and being with family, she’s finally deciding there are more important things in life than revenge. Which is kind of sweet.

Later, she stops for the night and is trying to stay warm by a fire when her horse starts gettin’ real spooked. Suddenly a pack of giant wolves (which are totally her brand because #stark) surrounds her, and she realizes one of them is her old pet who she set free back in season 1. She’s like hey.... Remember me… we were friends? And the wolf is like ummm… new phone who dis? And she’s like please come with me, I’m headed home. But the wolf is like sorz, can’t. And she says “that’s not you.” IDK if she means this is literally not her old pet or if she’s saying this feral version of you with a pack of wolves is not the wolf I knew. It doesn’t take a TV genius to figure out wolf = Arya and she’s conflicted between her new “feral side” and her old, daughter of a Stark side.

Our last scene is A DOOZY and it takes place on the high seas…

PTT and his sis are headed south with the Sand Queen (SQ) lady per Khaleesi’s instructions. We get a quick scene with her daughters, the Sand Snakes, just to remind us they’re all badasses and then we check in on SQ, PTT and his sis. SQ is like why do you keep your bro around he’s always acting all previously-traumatized. And his sis is like he protects me, but SQ is like you don’t need protection… and she and the sis start touching each other. PTT is like that’s my cue to leave, but just as some hawt SQ on PTT-sis action is about to go down, their ship is under attack. PTT and sis head upstairs and it turns out their crazy Uncle has come to find them! 

He sets all of their ships on fire and is tearing through all of their armies. The Sand Snakes put up a fight but sadly are taken out one-by-one. SQ is captured and is like, please kill me, but they do not. Then PTT’s sis and uncle go head to head. PTT’s sis is a major badass but uncle crazy-pants has craziness on his side and also captures her. He’s holding her hostage, about to cut her throat, so PTT is like ummmmmm….idk what to do. He’s clearly having some serious PTSD, so rather than make any decision, he jumps off the boat. His sis seems v v disappointed because she was literally just bragging about how he can protect her. He survives but is last seen floating sadly, watching all of their ships burn and his sis get taken away…

WDTSEM? Remember last week when uncle crazy-pants came to see QPC and bragged about having 2 hands? Well he promised to bring her a gift, and while my initial guess that it would be some sort of dragon-horn was probably off, it seems like the gift he’s bringing are these hostages. He now has the Sand Queen and PTT’s sis, both of whom are v powerful players. Having them to bargain with will be very helpful for QPC, assuming that’s the plan.

Final thoughts:

This ep was actually pretty great, minus the disgusting amateur surgery scenes! The fight scene at the end clearly had a huge budget and it showed- the fiery sparks throughout the entire scene were so cool and we’ve never seen much fighting-at-sea (with ships v. ships instead of ships v. land). The CGI people really did a bang up job if you ask me! #nerdalert

Biggest surprise this ep: I did NOT see that whole attack at the end coming! Also, everything is happening so fast! Everyone is learning about everyone else so quickly. I feel like in past seasons it would have taken us 2 eps at least to get something in the mail but now the mail’s coming 2-3 times an ep!

Biggest letdown:I was hoping, based on the preview, that Bae would really come for Littlefinger and squeeze him real good, but he was pretty gentle. Shoulda known because Bae is not one to strangle willy-nilly but DAMN I am sick of listening to Littlefinger.

Important fashion moments: Khaleesi’s shiny black get up was pretty great and I’m coming around to Sansa’s weird chain necklace.

Who died this ep? The Sand Snakes (RIP) and a bunch of Iron-Islanders (PTT’s people) and probably some Dornish people too (SQ’s people)

Thanks for reading, tell your friends! Check in next week! 

[pxiao]

5 reasons I love Arc-V

Today as I was bored, I kept reading metas of why some people loved Arc-V or their favorite moments of the show and I decided to analyze why Arc-V is my favorite Yu-Gi-Oh! show and honestly one of my favorite shows period(this honestly shocks me today still) Also in this piece I’ll generally talk about the previous series and I don’t mean to insult them(well most of them) but I’ll have to talk about what I found about them lacking and how Arc-V fixed that for me, sorry if anything I say is offensive.

Lessons

I’ll be blunt, most of the franchise’s “lessons” are generic lessons like believe in yourself and your friends will help you do anything stuff, especially when Yoshida is writing, that you can find in any show for kids. While yes it’s important for kids to learn this but when that’s the lesson for nearly everything it gets old fast, especially for a franchise that’s 2 decades old. That’s not to say there aren’t some good lessons in there as well like the past makes who you are and by trying to ignore it, you’re not doing yourself a favor but it’s soooo overwhelmed by the generic lessons. 

In comparison Arc-V gives some really unique and interesting lessons. Like when Yuya was scared of not being special because Reiji was cracking Pendulum monsters, instead of the generic “everyone is special” stuff, Shuzou gave Yuya a great goal, become the pioneer of Pendulum Summoning thus everyone will remember and look up to you. That’s not something you hear regularly if ever. 

The best example of this is how Jack continually called Yuya out on using his father’s dueling and we all expected this would be Yuya breaking free of his father’s influence and “be himself” whatever that means. But Jack gave a rather interesting spin on it, that people are influenced by others and you know what that’s FINE. To be yourself doesn’t mean everything has to be original but that you’re able to understand the influence that others had on you and use to it explain your will. And that craziest thing is, Jack’s right. People are ALWAYS influenced by others, no matter what you say, we always look up to others and use them as examples whether it be our parents, friends, celebrities or fictional characters. A strong example is writers, every writer will tell you that there are no more original stories, every possible story that can be told has been told, but if so why are some stories seems original while others feel bored and generic. Easy the writers of original stories take the story elements of well known stories/genres and put their own spin on it, they make it their own. While generic stories are the result of writers lazily copying what was done before and hoping it works. For example Game of Thrones takes the basic fantasy tropes and then takes out the part where the heroes somehow survive and actually face the consequences of their honorable but stupid actions  

Standing

I’ll admit watching people duel is fun and if I didn’t like that I wouldn’t like this franchise. But at the same time, you have to admit it gets OLD having two or more episodes, DM sometimes took FOUR episodes on 1 lousy duel, of two people yelling at each other, pointing and smirking. 

5D’s riding duels were an attempt to fix this by having the duelists and the monsters in motion and giving the characters something to do beside react. But if I have to be honest, Action Duels are the perfect way to fix this. By having Action Duels, we get to see the characters in motions and show off their agility or showing their monsters helping them. Who didn’t enjoy seeing how agile Sora and Shun was when they dueled in episode 34. It gives a sense of suspense and the previous series generally lacked cause if they were in trouble, we thought, oh they have an face-down, that’ll save them. 

Predictability

Yu-Gi-Oh! is many things but unpredictable it is not. We generally knew the result of every duel and every twist before it ever started. Sure there are some twists like Atem playing the seal, Kaito dying despite winning, Carly dying and the whole Supreme King thing in GX. But this was more of the a treat in a LONG, LONG WHILE. 

And lets face it, whatever you felt about Arc-V it was always unpredictable don’t try to deny it. In plot development, characters and even duel results. A great example is Yuya vs Yuri. We knew they were going to duel because of course they were, they were the counterparts that represented the greatest extremes. But when the episodes finally came out, NOBODY was sure if Yuya or Yuri was going to win, it was a literal toss up. We questioned, argued and were shocked that Yuya did win. The day when we have a duel with the protagonist and the fandom is literally split 50/50 on the result shows the writers were great at surprises.  

Main Characters 

Ok this is going to get me in the dog house but Yuya is a fucking breath of fresh air in modern anime. It’s so nice to have a sympathetic main character that gets continuous character development and has flaws, like HONEST to god flaws that aren’t there to make him look good. That’s not to say there aren’t good protagonists in recent anime like Kaneki from Tokyo Ghoul or Yato from Noragami just they’re more and more rare due to the many, many harems or how many shows are more or less power fantasies. And Yuya as a character is even more amazing especially this compared to Yu-Gi-Oh! protagonists, not to say I hate them, except one, but that Yuya just blows them out the water. 

For Atem got the short end of the stick as he did get character development but the anime started at the start of said development so we didn’t get to see how he changed. DM started at the end of the Death-T arc where Atem was starting to get more kind. His mind crush is literally the nicest punishment he’s given, he literally drove people crazy and set a man on fire before. And for Yugi, look the anime also shafted him, he rarely got focus and most of the time that was for exposition. By the time we saw his development, it had occurred off-screen and well that’s one of my pet peeves in terms of writing.

Judai, Ok I admit out of the protagonists before Yuya, he got the most development. But he got it in his third year and that’s it. He spent his first and second year more or less unbothered by the events around him and then said third year broken him into a million of pieces and tried to put him together in time. But at the same time, his development bothered me too, it most or less came down to this phrase, “Children card games aren’t all fun and games, it’s serious”. Yeah that’s ridiculous. 

Yusei, oh this is hard to admit as he’s either my second or third favorite protagonist(it’s tight race with Atem) but he has the least development of the protagonists or more than Atem in the anime. I admit, he rarely changes and that’s sad, especially when Yoshida got his hands on him. But luckily Yusei was interesting enough to work as a character but the issue remains he’s pretty static and a bit too perfect.  

Yuma ....... You know how I said Yusei’s issue is he’s a bit too perfect, yeah Yuma’s the exact opposite. And Yuma fans look away, I’m going on a fucking rant here. Yuma’s issue is that he does have flaws but his series continually pushes it’s head up it’s ass to convince us that said flaw is actually a strength despite showing yes it is flaw. And then there’s how he gets everyone to fall in love with him, the show bending it’s logic so he’s always right and the biggest annoyance is that he remains the fucking same. Just as stupid, just as naive and just as flawed and we’re supposed to support that. HELL NO.

While Yuya is this guy that wants everyone to be happy and well he has flaws that stop him from doing this. He can be selfish, stubborn, lacks self confidence and hesitates. And this just makes him all the better, Yuya has flaws like real people, he suffers like real people, he questions his ideals like more people should but he changes and we get to see it in front of us for three years. No matter what people say Yuya will always be one of the best characters Yu-Gi-Oh! has ever produced.   

Suspension of Disbelief   

Look I’m not going to mince words here to watch this franchise, you need to turn off your brain. This happens for every show where all conflicts can be solved by using consumer goods that are for some reason connected to magic. 

And the BIGGEST reason I love Arc-V is well they do a great job justifying everything. Why are card games dangerous, holograms with mass are awesome to kill people with. Why use holograms with mass, cause it’s awesome and people will pay to see it. Reiji’s being a dick, Yuya tries to punch him. Police lose a duel, they still try to catch the “criminal”. With Arc-V, you get the sense of what happens if you take Yu-Gi-Oh! and put in in the real world and watch the chaos as the rules we know and love are twisted by reality. 

And some of you reading this might wonder if I even like Yu-Gi-Oh! beside Arc-V and I do besides Zexal but I can admit that Yu-Gi-Oh! as a franchise has many problems, how it handles the female characters for example ..... and I can admit Arc-V has issues too, pacing and sadly how they treated female characters in the end too. But again just because you like something doesn’t mean you should believe it’s perfect.   

[themysterytactician]

The Rules Of The Tactician

Introduction

You know I don't wanna do this to everyone, but as someone who doesn't like drama & chaos like everyone else in the world, some rules have to be set in place in order for there to not be any of this. TL;DR:

"Transparency is like disinfectant in a wound. At first it’s going to sting like hell, but you need to purge the bad before your body heals. The same goes for the truth; it might sting at first, but if you actually endure it, your life will change & be better for you in the long run." ~ Merchant

We got that clear? Good? Good.

The Rules

I don't tickle people's fancies; I tell the pure, unadulterated truth. If any examples are needed of this matter, here are some:

If I say something that you don't like, don't argue about it. I'm a very quick-tempered person*, so the last thing you want to do is rub me the wrong way.

Don't get upset when I tell you the truth, because it's better than me telling a lie or what you think to be the truth to appease you & have your life still be fucked up.

I don't have time for childish games. Leave those games at the front door before entering the tactician's domain. These include, but are not limited to: memes (see this video (also locate at 1:24 & 34:49) or this or this video for basically why I dislike** them) & other low-quality content, drama, unblock requests, touching up on a topic I already finished, & trying to find loopholes or stay borderline around what I say, even in these rules. If I don't answer to these things, it's probably because I'm a 19 year old man who dropped out of college because it was a waste of my time, causing me stress, & I'm not looking for more stress in my life.

Don't get salty if I block you. People think I block people because I'm a mini-Verlisify, but I will never & shall never be associated with that cretinous creature. The reason why I block people is because to hold back on saying something very damaging, I have to block people, because I can get very, VERY pissy when you continue to anger me. Alongside me being quick-tempered is having a smoldering anger. Think of it as an anime like Dragon Ball Z; you can get your ass beat several times, but the second someone does something very harmful to your life, such as kill your best friend, the anger explodes.

I'm always open to talk in any of my social media platforms, wheether it be Twitter, Twitch, Discord, YouTube, SoundCloud, Bandcamp, Vidme, or any other things I have; I'll more than likely be responding to you in a heartbeat. I read everything you send me; whether or not I'm around to receive your stuff. However, since I've set up a submissions thing on this page, feel free to send some stuff here as well.

I do commissions, & most of the time, they're open if I don't feel like an ass getting out of bed every morning. I'm an early bird, but lately, it's hard for me to get out of bed. More than likely, it won't be the case, but yeah. If you want a soundfont remix or quick graphic done, I'll be willing to do it, free of charge, unless you really do want to pay me for it.***

I'm not your technical support. Yes; I get it. I'm tech savvy. However, some of the questions you guys ask can simply be Googled. If you ask me a tech question that Google easily knows the answer to, don't be surprised when I send you a LMGTFY link. Also, this is the last time I'm saying this: I'M NO LONGER A PART OF TWEAKBOX SUPPORT. Send me another question & watch how fast the mute/block button gets hit.

I have an opinion, as well as you do. So, if you don't agree with my opinion, don't be surprised when I direct you to this, because this is exactly how I feel alongside Vincent "Vinny" Vinesauce.

I may not look it, but I'm a rather....lewd person. I definitely do appreciate you all sending "culture" in my DMs anywhere I am, so feel free to do so. I'll just slip this; in case anyone needs help finding me some ideal stuff.

Unless I request it of you; PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. DON'T BACKSEAT/BACKSEAT GAME.

Trying to stay borderline on these rules, twist the words of these rules or of what I say, or find any loopholes in my speech, because I'm not the best at speech, & attempting to piss me off is going to give you a piss off back, because I'm straight up going to mute/block you; no exceptions. Stop trying to act like a smartass, & stop trying to play games with me like you're some kind of jester. I'm an adult, & the vast majority of you all are too. Start acting like it. If you can't have an adult conversation with me, then get the fuck out of my face. And don't think when you find a loophole, I won't patch these rules up, because I most wholeheartedly will.

Golden Rule: If you can't say it without it sounding rude, don't say it at all. PERIOD.

Conclusion

I know it seems like I was a bitch, & I know it seems like I'm telling people how to live their lives when you talk to me on social media, but trust me; I'm human, like you guys are. We all go through shit in life. Life is extremely fucked up, & most of the time, the stuff that happens is unavoidable. However, just because you think your life is all peachy-creamy right now doesn't mean that only the unjust will get some terrible stuff happening in their lives. It may happen to you too, because life was designed to be like that. We were all given life, & we had no rules on how to live the ideal life where no chaos would happen, which then turned this into darkness & chaos. So, to avoid having chaos happen in my life & others' lives as well, rules had to be laid down up front so that I don't end up wanting to kill myself again deactivating & deleting my Twitter account for the 12th time. Yes. 12 TIMES. However, I am responding to everyone; nonetheless. It's very rare nowadays when you see someone actually responding to what you type, because everyone can see what you type, but more or less, everyone might not respond. I tend to be the outlier, because I deeply care for everyone, & want to be the change I wanna see in the world. The world is slowly dying, & I want to do everything I can to help those in need. If I have to break an arm & a leg to do so; so be it. Just know you're not alone in your situation, & I'm willing to do the best I can to help.

Sincerely,

Starred Comments

Quick-tempered person: I was diagnosed with ADHD & Aspergers at the age of 4, so I tend to be socially inadept. Think of it like this: people who are normally speaking in a conversation give each other room to talk after that person knows they've completely finished the conversation. This isn't the case for me being a person with Aspergers, because when I say something & finish, there's more behind it than you actually think, because I have trouble completing a thought (you can also look it up online, or watch The Big Bang Theory. You'll find out about it, eventually. For the ADHD, it's just as it entails, I can't focus, & I'm full of energy. So, what does the quick-temperedness do? Simple; be a dick & you get the dick treatment. That's pretty much it.

Disliking memes: Truth be told; I don't dislike memes. Memes are a funny thing to help you out of tough times. However, what people consider funny nowadays is like if you were in a classroom full of high schoolers watching America's Funniest Home Videos, which is baby tier laughter. And believe me; THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME BECAUSE OF MY STUPID ASS IN HIGH SCHOOL. I think Vinny from Vinesauce expresses how I feel about it very well, because believe it or not; I'm actually from New York, just like him, so I know how that New Yorker life is. More or less, I think I'm starting to become a miniature version of him, but I don't wanna do that, because I'm me.

Commissions are free of charge: I get it; getting someone to commission you in this modern day & age is hard as hell, & I know people who ask to do commissions for free & for exposure end up getting a lot of flack (for a better explanation, read this article here. Graphic Designers/people who do commissions who are seeing that will probably be having an aneurysm, but to them; fuck you & what you think.) However, as me being me, I'm an outlier when it comes to this stuff. I don't force feed money down people's throats, because I'm no average god when it comes to making stuff like mixes & graphic works; quick or time-consuming. As someone who tends to have a lot of energy, I can be very lazy, because I don't drive, so I can't just straight up go have fun somewhere at my own free will. I tend to have to ask a family member to drive me; (Rant incoming; look for the matching parentheses if you don't wanna hear my opinions on having an Apple phone, but continue reading if you really want to.) hell, even take an Uber if I really do have to, & I don't even like Uber, because the creator is using it to rob people even after uninstalling the app, track Lyft drivers with their app that got taken off the App Store entitled "Hell", & now, Tim Cook gave Uber the keys to your screen with a simple line of code that's only granted by Apple themselves; meaning they can draw & record on your screen at thheir free will. This is all on iOS, & me desperately trying to switch over to Android after seeing what Tim Cook purposely does to models that aren't things like the 7, 8, & X, such as disabling Touch ID on the iPhone 4 when iOS 9 came out, & a device that couldn't even support it had the option hidden in the OS that wasn't visible to the naked eye. (Hey! The rant's over.) Seriously, though. Don't expect me to be a god, because sometimes, I'm not even proud of the stuff I produce, & that's because I'm human; just like everyone else. I do commissions for free because I care about everyone & am willing to help out anyone in need; not because I want money at all. I don't give a shit about making a profit, & I don't need a profit to survive unless it's a dire situation in which I need to have some cash on hand in case of emergency. So, if you want to pay, that's fine. It's up to you. However, as a human, I highly recommend you don't spend money on me, because it makes me feel guilty. You can buy so many other things other than me, & I'm not one to play favorites with anyone at all, so really don't make me do that. If you're still wiiling to commission me; please don't hesitate to ask me at all. I'll respond; more or less.