#Did I jus t
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B I M B O I JUWT WANNA BE A STUPIF HOE
#Tbis song make hard tbink#Well hard to thingk anyways#Even withouyt the music#Waskls a mosums boread so I isja uh#Me when I the uh me#I CANY STOP FUCKING TALKING LIR THAT#GRRR#WAHHHHH#my two emotions#GRRR and WAHHHHHHH#So inspiring wow#Breadn dead#Di#Did I jus t#Brain#Brain dead#No bread#Waht
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recent art
#lies about art#the falses of abyss#okat i mputting this begind a lot of things i#i dont know if i want this to be noticed. but i certainly dont want rhis to be shared#tjis is the on;y social media shedoesnt chec k so this is my only place#im not safe#i dont know how much i can handle#i should jus tell up on her but she threatened me#i dont know what she can do to me if i do it#im scared#i feel lost#i just wanted to help her#i dont understand#im afraid to talk to anyone now#i treid to talk to my friends abotu it but now im scared#what if she sees it. she controls me#she can hurt me she already did#i cant call the police#i cant tell my family#im a coward#i just wanted to hel p#i need to work on everything#i need to finish the commissions#maybe then i can open mroe and i can do something#maybe she needs a little mroe help#i know she doesnt do that on purpose#or i want t o think so#i dont knwo i mso lost#it seems less likely day by day ic ant#ijust wwnate dto he lp
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(Click/tap images for better quality)
Himb <3
Milk was tryna figure out what kinda specific casual clothes he'd wear, and these were some of the suggestions. (There's still one more that I need to draw with a specific piece of clothing, but that can wait for another post. 👀)
Butch belongs to @sans-guy.
#second drawing he tryna thimnk. but he toired so it's taking a minute lol (wasn't sure if he'd have scares on his legs too or not :p#they look so bare next to his arms lmao)#third drawing i re-lined a traditional drawing that i did yesterday n fixed it a bit. bc i felt like it :3#(tfw. long drawing gets cut off in th thumb nail bc of drawing next to it :'>)#(never do i draw ALL the seams in the clothing on a piece. but it jus felt right for the overalls)#butch sans#undertale#undertale au#didderd art#need t' sleep#toired#will draw more tomorrow <3
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d/n/c like “four years ago this would have been a super spreader, but here we are, no masks! how does that make you feel as a healthcare professional” n this bitch answers that like ‘oh it’s great! glad we’re all vaccinated now!’
IT WILL BE IT STILL WILL BE A SUPERSPREADER AND EVERYONES VACCINE IS OUT OF DATE BC IT WANES AFTER 6 MONTHS !!!!!!!! UR JUST GONNA IGNORE IT AND PRETEND ITS NOT REAL
#these ppl need to kill themselves i think#pisses me off so bad#democrats are all like we saved you from covid!! isn’t that great!! meanwhile we’re in like the second biggest summer wave ever#yeah cause fuck everyone else right cause we should just let all the high risk immunocompromised ppl die right#fuckkkk you fuck all of you i hate this shit world FUCK man#yes a lot of the dogshit response was trumps fault BUT IT WAS URS TOO .#every single bastard in government dropped the ball on covid and now we are in YEAR FIVE of a pandemic that could have been snuffed out#IF WE JUS T FUCKINGGGG DID SHIT RIGHT#my family is watching all these political speeches and the dnc and the way these people talk piss me the fuck off#fuck you fuck you fuck you you made the pandemic worse how fucking dare you try to use that shit in your campaign#we took away life saving resources and now we are going to leave you for dead! we fixed it!!! hooray!!!!#let’s all kill ourselves
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hate that whats so easy for others is so hard to me i hate how hard writing (like physical handwriting) is for meeeeeeeeeee oh my God. jesus
#no not jus t cuz of tremors its always always always been like this#ig bc so many years out of school during my most important years i did not get to develop that skill a lot#youd think itd be easy bc i draw but somehow no#i guess the muscles for drawing and writing are different ??????????
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I SPENT 30 MINUTES TRYNGI TO FIND A HIGHER QUALITY IMAGE OF THIS BITCH IM SO DONE RIGH TNOW
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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u ever think about how they sometimes mention luke's pre-akzeriuth behavior is because guy was too kind. or how they imply that guy didnt raise him like he should have, because of how luke ended up being. but then. remember. how kind luke really is. how caring and selfless and Kind. and guy was still the one to raise him then.
#.text#tales of the abyss#i dont know. i dont know. i dont know. my thoughts are a mess rn. im just thin#king abt luke and guy and luke. and.#i. jus#t#am so.#natalia says it was partislly her responsibility too once i think and even then. she. 🥹 they did good. they did#you know who didnt? DUKE FABRE.#this is a duke fabre hate zone. he should die. NOW.#VIOLENTLY!!!!!!#ok👍 normal now
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prefacing this by saying im fine and its whatever and im mostly numb to it. but it kinda fucking sucks that being gaslit about my own sexuality leads to… doubting my own sexuality lol!
#purrs#just went to my first ever lavender graduation ceremony and had a convo w my dad after that touched on the EXACT horrors lol like i need to#learn to not bring this shit up around my parents bc they’re just gonna say the same things. and also it doesn’t matter bc idc about labels#and (to quote ricky) it’s a conversation not a constant. but like fucking hell. just bc ive never ‘’’’’’been with anybody’’’’’’ doesn’t#mean that i can’t know im not straight. the HORRIFIC psychic damage that did to me 5 years ago this month. the way i can’t think about#sexuality or being part of the lgbtq community since and like before then when that happened i thought i was a lesbian and was gonna try to#get involved with the school lgbtq student union . like it’s so ficking stupid and sad. and i can’t trust myself anymore i can’t tell if#anything ive ever felt for anyone is actually real bc according to my (straight and biphobic) parents ‘crushes don’t count’ and i haven’t#even had a crush in months anyway and yeah ive never ‘been with’ anybody. but like god damn. you DO NOT get to tell me i have to call myself#questioning. yeah im questioning but only i can call it that and only if i want to. i get to know me. i get to call me what i am. which also#means i get to work through the years of psychic damage this thread of conversation coming from my own parents has done to me#but i own that. i want to own that. ive had the feelings i have had. maybe they were wrong and misplaced and maybe there are other ways to#interpret them like me jus t having projection issues and whatever. but they were real to me and are real to me and shape how i show up#every single day. i get to know myself. i get to call myself what i am. even though you’re my parents you don’t get to tell me that. and you#should be sorry for how fucked in the head this has made me and how cut off i have become from other people who have felt what i have felt#and from the parts of myself that felt and hurt and loved. like lolllll. i was in a good mood and then that happened and now my heart hurts.#delete later#like i don’t talk abt this shit anymore for a reason 🤪✌️ i am not involved in lgbtq groups or communities online or offline for a reason 🤪✌️#and it’s yet another manifestation of impostor syndrome too like. ppl wonder why im like this…. there is a very good reason 💖
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What r u being for Halloween?
honestly? i hav no idea lmao.
#'t has to b somthing i can do easily#without spending much if any money#i don't go trick or treating anymore. n i don't go to parties#but a streamer i watch does a big stream every year#'n they look at everyone's costumes in their discord#'s nice#if it wasn't for that i probably wouldn't dress up :'>#didderd asks#cranberrytea451#last year i was beetle juice (musical ver)#all i needed to get for that was a tie i think#bc i already had dress pants that worked ok#'n i borrowed my dad's dress shirt ('t was rly big on me lmao)#jus didn't hav a blazer#'n i did my makeup to look like him#n dyed my hair green#(think i might'v done that befor even deciding to dress as him lmao)
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"so i will wait for the next time you want me, like a dog with a bird at your door" is so will byers coded....
#will byers coded#will byers#byler#literally his s4 arc i'm gonna kms i can 't do this i can't why did they do that to my boy will WHY DID THEY DO THAT TO HIM!!!!!!!!!#HE'S TOO YOUNG TO BE FEELING THAT MUCH PAIN..... HAS HE NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH....... @MATT N ROSS I JUS WANNA TALK
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and they facetimed q too GODDDD they lvoed each other so so much and everything was ok 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#tbd probably#sorry i jus t . man now everythings so messed up and complicated why did it have to happen like this :((((
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scaramouche: capitalism (indifferent)
tetsuya: capitalism (derogatory)
#out.#awraxa he's not necessarily hoping to be#packed with mor a but i remember#how it's pretty much canon that the harbingers are filthy rich#and they always have cash#it never runs out so what is spending a couple of millions to them#he doesn't necessarily care about the money itself#what gets to him is in the rare instances where he dOES want to get something??#it is either very pricey or he can't afford it#tetsuya after a couple of commission: *scraps up 1500 mora*#tetsuya after bills: where did the 1000 go???#AWRAXA IT'S JUS T REALLY FUNNY TO PICTURE
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Why do my mom always purposefully cook shit that i purposefully and actively say i fucking hate and make me pukes, then come at me and say im a fucking picky eater and the most ungrateful human being ever. Is it so fucking hard to not cook a literal specific food that is literally fucking hard to make and forcing me to fucking like it, i literally am not that fucking picky i just hate eating fucking liver and that stupid broth that makes me pukes
#ignorelist#im just gonna eat fucking candy#dont care that im gonna starve myself cause seemed like no one gave a shit abt that anyway#she cooks food filled with liver and broth that i fucking hate#btw#which i have stated many times again im going to kms if i eat one of those#and i’ve proven many times that if i eat that i will literally fucking puke#and yet she still fucking made it on behalf of me#literally what does she think of me a fucking torture subject that needs fucking torture?#fucking asshole literally what the fuck did i do to her#she is always like this if bad things happenned to her im telling you#she always take out on me and my sister and started degrading us weaponising her fucking religion and saying how much she’s more superior in#that field than us#and how much god must fucking hate us this is why i dont have faith in god anymore btw and then she started becoming much aggressive and jus#t went to verbal attack either body shaming or subtly insulting us#its all fucking subtle and maybe she started using her mom card make us do shit that we dont even usually do#which i have to say is fucking insulting because those are basic chores#which you care to give us when you’re mad#is that the length you need to give a shit abt ur kid and gave them great scheduling activity?#sorry i actually envy people who has parents that cared enough and gave their kids meaningful chores to do like maybe buying food or other#also since like im islam totally i gotta do fasting m shit lately been wanting to faint#hastags so cool right#i have a sliver of chance pf maybe fainting in the pavement and someone fucking car crash in front of me#sliver of hope of dying yippee!#what the fuck is wrong with me
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mmmh
mayb is cos m rlly tird n wornd out by so mush being round peple but i feels kinna blehhhhg
#tl posts#wantd t color more but idk if wnana tag so many agin#mayb shoulda askd if ppl wants picshure bfor i did it#mayb jus needa early bed
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i called michael’s to be like what uh should i not wear and my boss was like mm you know, no open toed shoes, no belly shirts or crop tops and i’m just looking at my clothing rack and it’s fucked up ratio of specifically crop top tank tops vs Regular People Shirts like :/ ok
#they have to be ok with every single pair of hole covered and oil paint covered pants#i have ONE good pair of trousers#i can make shirts work tho. if i can get a long sleeved under shirt i can do my crop t shirts with that#sorry tankies you’ll have to be weekdays only for the next few months ):#My Brand………#anyway i’m getting a job and feeling nothing about it! i’m not excited duh but i don’t feel like i’m headed to the firing range#my first shift. get this. first shift is 1130a-4p. girl#blessed and cursed w manager experience. used to 10+ hour days 40+ hours a week doing Too Muvh for Too Little#and i’m going to be making jack shit at michael’s but like. i’m going to be working 20-25hours max on weekends only#so ig that’s fair. ans they did bump my pay up a full dollar for my managerial experience#so like. being put thru indescribable hell at the hands of higher ups sort of. pays off ?#im jus going to be the mysterious weekend guy. no one knows anything about me. i show up do my thing leave#it is not an ordeal. thank you therapy for ummmmmm. everything lol
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