#Do my Excel Assignment
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Hello!! I came across a couple of your animals with pride flags series (idk what you're actually calling it lol) and I wanted to request an intersex blue-ringed octopus (I'm not intersex myself tho lol, just thought it might look neat)
Oooh, this was a fun one! Thank you for the request! 🐙
#ask#art request#art#my art#intersex#blue-ringed octopus#octopus#queer art#animal art#digital art#lgbtqia+#lgbtq+#critter series#someone requesting an animal that matches the colour/look of the pride flag with it? *wipes tear* brilliant. you understood the assignment#like i love doing people's favourite animals with their flag but there's just something so fun about animals that match the colour scheme#or at the very least are very close to matching it. it makes the designs so appealing because it looks more natural#and it's always nice doing flags i haven't done before#the blue-ringed octopus was an excellent choice for the intersex flag. for obvious reasons. i also think it looks very neat :)#(the back legs are doing a very very good job of being hidden behind the head and have nothing to do with me forgetting about them)#i saw one when i was a kid. i was in a rock pool and as I got out it swam across. it was a very 'woah. i could have died just now' moment#but then again close encounters with deadly animals are basically a rite of passage for kids in australia#id in alt
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Death by a thousand cuts in my class this week
#please feel free to ignore this#Jake meets world#I'm going to be really busy the next couple of weeks so I've been working ahead#In (almost) all my other classes every assignment except the exams is available right at the start of the semester#so you could theoretically do the whole thing right away#Not this class#The assignments are locked so you can only start them like 2-3 weeks before they're due#And the assignment I'm working on now is so tedious and confusing#Half of the questions are like 'invent a formula! Now optimize it!'#This is not the invent a formula class this is the AI class#I also just hate having to graph really big datasets because it's such a pain lol#Can't really do it in Excel and trying to do it in Python is like trying to force a mouse to be a rabbit#Also for some reason they have a FAQs document separate from the assignment#so you have to like read the assignment and then read the FAQs to make sure you're doing it correctly#Just put the assignment information in the assignment? Modify the instructions to include this?
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only one month until i'm in another 8:30-11:30AM early modern europe course with the history dept's notoriously trad, reactionary conservative boomer prof who doesn't know i'm transgender & thinks i'm really smart
#he mentioned my essay to his 4000lvl seminar class!#said to them that his students in other classes aren't all that great#but 'one guy.... really gets it...' <- that's me#he's probably used to only like#annoying military history idiots who don't know what historiography is#because most smart people drop his courses when they hear his little political asides#i shouldn't say 'smart people.' most people who write history assignments well#really i shouldn't say idiots. <- trying to do better#but a couple of guys in last year's course you could tell were total war fanboys#who took the prof's military course before. & still do not have great analytical capabilities#<- me when i relish having something i excel at
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me: MY HAIRLINE IS RECEDING OH NO OH FUCK
also me: full time student (worth noting i wrote stupid here at first without realizing), 20-30 hours in customer service every week, teaching myself 3/4 classes, teaching myself advanced algebra with a teacher (basically just a proctor) who shuts down any/all asks for help, juggling college financial woes, navigating dying relationships/people abandoning and/or attacking me bc i don't have time for things i used to anymore, none of my hobbies are making me happy when and if i have time for them,, i have no time for myself, i'm on my second all-nighter this week, i'm perpetually exhausted in a way sleep isn't fixing, my body aches because i'm so tired, and i'm barely able to stay asleep when i do get the chance bc the anxiety wakes me up
my hairline: two hops this time!
#i'm so stressed man#sehtoast rambles#sehtoast vents? fuck if i know#i just feel like i can't get ahead#i used to be able to get all my shit done by friday and have the bulk of the weekend to myself#but that's not doable at all this term#i just had a whole ass mental breakdown over fucking homework#like i'm almost grateful T made it near impossible for me to cry bc like#i was going to have a whole sobbing crying breakdown and at least i only had to feel the mental and physical anguish of it instead#it's 3am and i just made coffee so i can do the rest of my work#luckily the last two are super little in comparison but#i can't keep doing 30 pages of notes with 10 pages of homework and a 40 question 'quiz' for math#on top of making like 7 excel spreadsheets a week#not including the 50 page readings for management plus the 50 questions that follow and the writing assignments#i'm so glad my ids class is easy. dr s is my personal jesus christ for being so gentle with her students#idk i'm just... really not doin well rn#at all#idk if anyone read this far in#if you did ily and appreciate you
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i got 9/10 on the assignments i was scared about 😭😭😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
#nia chats#peeingmmypants#was actually getting knots in my stomach and my gut kept dropping when i thought aboht this. i am so free#im sure if i checked thered be. more in depth feedback on what i could do in the assignment dropbox#but im just reading the comments next to the grade. startint with “Excellent work (once again)!” WHATTTT.... ME.... 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹#my prof is so sweet i love her . love her energy. despite the physical symptoms mentally my anxiety is quite low w talking in her class now#YIPPEEEEE 😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷🩷 has never happened before like ots crazy how ur life can change#am kind of scratching my head bc i was gonna try to make the one due friday shorter and. put less energy into it#... kust goung to hope whatvwr happens. i stoll do a good job. ohman
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i think it says something that in my Armenian cousins GC my little brother sent a bunch of headlines about trump's administration activity lately and he tagged me specifically
yes he could have sent all those articles by themselves. did he do that? no. no, he tagged me in the middle of sending all those links. am I the political cousin? yes. yes, I am.
#technically im a poltical science major still#technically i have three majors english poli sci and studio art#but i'm going to drop two and keep just english#i am still a pre law student tho#am i prepared for law school#not one bit#lsats? not sure what they are#will i get a 779 like in legally blonde no#i will get at least 780#how do i know this#i am a cocky son of a bitch that's why#and i pretty much always excel in academic situations so like on average i get scores in the 90 percentile without really trying#it is called being a special sort of autistic/adhd#i got bad grades in 2/dozens of college level classes#i failed remedial algebra 2 as i took it for regular algebra 2 in the 11th grade bc i was homeschooled#therefore taking it for the first time in a college level remedial algebra class while everyone else there had finished or left high school#the other one was college level biology where my dyslexia tripled the difficulty of learning all those names of shit in the body#like if i didn't have to identify the correct spelling of something i was golden#i also got bad grades fall of 22 my last active semester as a student but that was bc of my degrading mental health#not bc i wasn't excelling at the content#i belly flopped my final assignments and exams and I still got c+ and above on my grades
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more college scams that stress me out the two softwares i need for my assignment is $146 and $119 and those are the ACADEMIC prices and that is NOT a one time fee
and...i only need this software for one assignment
and it's possible to do it in excel...but he's taking points off if we use excel
#i am doing the assignment in excel but i am so fucking pissed#i could justify buying the software if this was the part of the film industry i wanted to go into but i dont even want to do producing#im a writer i spent $100 on my writing software cause that made sense this is bullshit#*[ OOC ] . . . a treatise on the effects of caffeine
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Me writing the module evaluation for that one Professor…
#absolute freak!#can’t even be arsed to teach us in person just uses videos he filmed in 2020#everyone is failing the quizes and assignments because he doesn’t explain them or help us#yesterday he sent us all a long ass email essentially calling us all idiots who wrote bullshit and that he laughs at our answers…#and like not to brag but in every other module I am an excellent student#like I get emails congratulating me on exceptional results from my other professors#so for him to act like everyone in that class is an idiot who doesn’t do reading or make an effort is ducking ridiculous!!!#literally bringing down my overall degree grade#anyways! sorry for the rant#I’m just pissed#university#uni#university life#uni life#university memes#mean girls
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#got told i filled in this assignment as part of my work induction the best my manager has ever seen anyone do 😳#maybe...i am excelling 😳😳#also she jokingly offered me a job as a specialist of our job like...ok damn maybe i gotta stop being so hard on myself (he says over and#over but never does :/)
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my dissertation is done !
#i am unfortunately feeling not much joy about it !!!#i'm just burnt out and frustrated w myself - i feel like i'm always reaching and trying SO SO HARD and always falling just a little flat#not helped by my supervisor telling me to make edits to make my diss go from very good to excellent#and then saying the edits made it a bit confused and to stick with what i had#and then grades for an assignment were released and we could see everyone's results#and i spent longer and did worse than some of my friends#and i KNOW comparison is a terrible thing to do and influences confidence negatively#but idk i just care a LOT ! and i feels really personal unfortunately#anyway. i will be full of joy and whimsy yet again ! soon!
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At work they seem to think I'm an electrical engineer. I'm just. Just so baffled by this. If there's one thing I'm not, surely it's that.
Like, ok, the mechanical engineers think I'm a mechanical engineer, and that's fine. The bosses think everyone is a mechanical engineer, or can be, given half a chance. They think the actual mechanical engineers--the ones with masters degrees in mechanical engineering--are simply the most experienced, but that anyone else could do their job slightly worse but basically successfully. But the mechanical engineers treat me like I'm one of them in a way they don't with other physicists, trust me with tools that they wouldn't trust others with, one of them even gave me admin privileges to some equipment that they won't give my supervisor admin privileges to. Apparently they thought I was going to be working 3/4 time as a physicist and 1/4 time as a laser engineer when I was hired; my previous employer killed that possibility (the one real concession he got with his threatened lawsuit was that I'm not allowed to work on the insides of any lasers for two years) but that's still how they think of me, as basically one of them. But that's just the mechanical engineers who see me that way.
When I applied I said I had mechanical engineering experience and software experience. I hate software, but you've gotta put that in your resume, if you can do it even a little bit. My supervisor remembered that and took it seriously, and I do actually do some software engineering when I have to, but the bosses mainly don't want me working on software.
But somehow the bosses think I'm an electrical engineer, instead. That I should be a major bridge between the electrical engineering department and physics. That that's my rare expertise rather than (in my opinion) my most embarrassing incompetence, the one thing I try to avoid having come up in job interviews because I can't find a positive spin for it.
I mean. It's kind of good, because the company president sees himself as being an electrical engineer as well as a physicist. So he's like, oh, we have this extra competency in common! And it's also kind of good that the skillset that I'm the least secure about, other people have convinced themselves that I'm good at--although I think that's partly because they haven't really asked that much of me, and partly because I know a bit about rf/mw. But, like, I can barely design an inverting amplifier or a low pass filter and then put it together with large components from a kit (although it'll look reasonably nice if I do, because my soldering is decent). And I've only actually laid out a PCB for manufacturing exactly once in my entire life. But it's, idk, weird. I rarely get anything that looks like imposture syndrome, but I can feel it creeping in a little bit here. (Except, of course, it's justified.)
#you may wonder then: if they see me as an electrical engineer surely that implies they're assigning me electrical engineering projects#so how do I get those done in such a way that the bosses are pleased with me?#because surely they're pleased with me if they've--after 10 months of employment--convinced themselves that I can do this?#well: I delegate these tasks to one of the actual electrical engineers rather than doing them myself#(which is the same thing my supervisor does--but unlike the bosses I don't think my supervisor thinks I'm an electrical engineer)#(then again the bosses think my supervisor is this superstar who's excellent at literally everything#so I guess this MUST be a winning strategy)#the engineers are considered more or less support staff to the physicists so the electrical engineer that I'm delegating to#sees picking up assignments like this from physicists who don't want to do it themselves as a core part of his job#rather than feeling that I'm taking time away from his own projects or something#I don't know how the bosses see it though if they think this shows MY competence as an electrical engineer
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Do you... do you... draw professionally. Because you're just so good and you are inspiring me to keep trying! Manifest those mental images!! Learn to draw yakumo getting railed, and other Normal reasons to revitalize one's previous interest in drawing
u think i could draw professionally??! 😲🥺🥺 i am so flatter..... i think ur draws are so scrorchy (very enjoyable] so if i can help u have inspire 😭😭😭😭😭
omfg if u learn to draw yakumo getting railed i'll probably explode/implode/evaporate/change states of matter in a sudden, violent way
bc. i cannot do it. fun fact: when i read y'all's collab fic of dante's sex ed i felt the urge to draw 3 specific panels for it. but as i put the stylus to the screen, i realised that SEVERAL ppl would have to be naked for the drawings to be storycally accurate. so even tho they were comedy panels, my hand... it betrayed me. it was like trying to draw porn but i blink and suddenly everyone's in 14 levels of victorian extra-garment. F...H?OISTED BY MY OWN UNHORNY
so yes. pls. i would love to see more of your contributions. the very special contributions that only u can make 😂
#to answer ur question for realsi#during times when i am actually employed#i would be animating rigs. which means very little drawing#my job would be clicking and keyboarding more than anything#the hours are long and my brain is so overheated#by the end of the work day i don't want to do anything artistic or even watch shows#so i never have the time for actual drawing. i miss it...#therefore. despite going into art as a profession. i don't rly do much art while employed 😢#i joke that my periods of greatest artistic growth were during my fandom hyperfixations#bc those were the times when i would explore styles#try new stuff and experiment with media and really work hard to make pieces look a certain way#whereas art school was more formulaic and apathetic (oh nooo i don't get to draw gay fanart for my assignments? what's the point)#nowadays? i've chilled out on the Great Experimental Growth phase#and try to draw stupid little things that don't take up too much brainpower#otherwise i get real in my head about my weaknesses#bc of course your peers in the anim program are going to KICK BUTT in several fields that you may not excel in#this is partially why i started drawing on my phone#bc it forces me to work with a small canvas. thus fewer details#i can't overthink what i can't see on my tiny screen!!!!#anyway. this period of unemployment has actually helped me draw personal art again. it's nice to rediscover your hobby AS A HOBBY#here's hoping u get something out of ur up-n-coming drawings too......#feesh answer
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got myself some markers and some gel pens and i am once again faced with the reality that i neither know how to draw nor do i know what i want to draw
#mills talks#txted#sorry if i am not immediately excellent i simply cannot do anything#this was my reward to myself for completing my first assignment and receiving good feedback
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Wow dropping almost all of my classes except for one really was the best thing I could've done right now huh
Wish I could've dropped all of them tho. Or better yet just not have started college at all
#ramblings#neg#i have never felt this unmotivated to do anything in my life. nor this emotionally unstable#have a stupid midterm coming up and if its anything like the quizzes i've had to take at least 60% is gonna be shit we never go over#bc this stupid class is online and the teacher doesn't assign work or notes for shit that will actually be in the tests#either that or it's all explained in the most dumbfuck overly complicated way#the class is supposed to be abt math stuff that should apply irl but i can assure you like 90% of it is useless to me#the only thing i've actually been learning from this stupid class is how to make pretty looking excell sheets#god i just want to be done with this shit already#with how much i'm struggling with this one class i know for fucking sure i would not have been able to handle being a full time student#the only reason i'm still taking this stupid class is bc i can't drop it without paying for it#paying for school is already fucking stupid as it is but paying to stop going is even worse#hope when this class is done i never have to hear anyone even suggest i go to college ever again#or else i swear to god i will actually just punch them in the face#fuck off
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I have given up ✨
#this professor is probably like wtf is wrong with this student she always does the assignments last minute#and she can’t even do them right half the time 💀 it’s almost as if she has no clue what’s going on or how to use Microsoft excel#yeah I know maam 😔 I could’ve been thriving in a social science rn rip#I am not built to make graphs out of water data and contour watersheds I’m just not 😭#my posts
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