#Drugs ruined my older sister's life

[doberbutts]

Curious about something you mentioned in your post last week, you said that in your opinion all drugs should be legal and I’m curious about how that would be a positive at all? Like I get weed bc it’s pretty harmless but when I think of drugs I think of cocaine and heroin, which have destroyed so many lives. If it was widely available wouldn’t that end up hurting more people than helping? That’s just my opinion but I’m curious on the other side

I do think all drugs should be legal. This is said knowing that addiction runs in my family and that the only reason my older sister is my *sister* is due to drug use and addiction. Otherwise she'd be my cousin.

Making drugs illegal does not stop people from getting high. It does not stop drug related crime. And it certainly does not stop drugs from tearing families apart.

Addiction is a symptom of a larger problem. Solve the problem and the addict problem goes away. Solve the addict problem and drugs stop ruining lives and destroying families and creating massive amounts of drug related violence. Places that have roled out decriminalization strategies effectively have seen an overall reduction in crime rates across the board, a reduction in recreational drug use, and a reduction in bloodborne illness like HIV. Creating safe needle exchanges as well as safe places to get high with medical staff onhand has also created a locale where very few people die from overdose.

Most people hear "decriminalize all drugs" and think I mean a free-for-all. I don't. I think the drug market should be regulated. I don't think you should be able to get ketamine or heroin over the counter at a walmart like you can get asprin. But I think it's time to stop putting people in jail for getting high.

My aunt tore her life and her family and her health apart for years while she was addicted to heroin. My sister, her daughter, needed to be removed from her care due to the amazingly bad choices she made as a mother due to her addiction and her prioritizing drugs over the health and safety of her daughter. My aunt has had multiple heart attacks from the damage the constant drug use did to her body.

My aunt is more than a decade sober and do you know why? It's not because she got a wakeup call when her daughter was taken away, because at the time she willingly and freely signed her over to my parents because that got her "out of [her] hair". It's not because she had a heart attack, because she went right back to it the moment she was out of the hospital. It's not even because she spent time in rehab and prison, because the moment she was out she was using again.

No, my aunt got sober because her life changed. She was put on a better pain management plan. She got out of her shitty marriage to her shitty husband. She completed some education to make her more hireable so she didn't have to rely on less than safe means of paying her bills. She reconnected with my sister and reforged their relationship once she was 18. She bought her own house. She found love with someone who didn't give a shit about her past and brought out the best in her.

My aunt was a deeply unhappy person. Heroin made life more tolerable for her. Until she couldn't tolerate life without it. Until she'd do anything, anything, to get her next high.

A lot of addicts are addicts because they are self-medicating for something else and their drug of choice has chemical properties that makes their brains crave it more. If you fix the "deeply unhappy" part, you create a healthier environment for that addict to take control over their life again. Without it, they are far more likely to continue to relapse.

Knowing this, why would I then want to add the threat of prison and jailtime- life-ruining things themselves- to an addict's list of concerns?

Look up rat park sometime. In the rat paradise, drugged water was freely offered, and occasional a rat here or there would take a hit or two, but rarely enough to even get high and almost never habitually. Addiction literally didn't exist even though the rats were taking addictive substances. But the rats in cages, seperated from each other, with no enrichment, crammed into small spaces and stressed to hell? Those rats took hit after hit after hit until they overdosed and died. The addict rats were deeply unhappy. The drugs were their only escape. The paradise rats had to be lured in with sweetened drugs to even consider and even then they rejected them. The caged rats did not need sweetner, even though the drugs made the water bitter.

If we can see such a stark difference in rats having their needs met vs rats experiencing isolation and stress, what would happen if we showed human addicts the same consideration?

I think a lot better results than continuing to jail deeply unhappy and desperate people for doing the only thing they can think of to cope.

[ladykailitha]

Staking My Claim Part 5

We are almost done just one more after this one! I thought about posting this on Tuesday to give the first chapter of the second book of Boy With a Bat some love.

But with this one literally two chapters away from being finished it didn't seem fair to postpone this one.

Here we have Nurse Jeff and sweet Eddie.

Pt 1| Pt 2|Pt 3| Pt 4|

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

***

Once they other three were gone Jeff turned to Steve and Eddie.

“Right the real reason I’m here is because I’m going to make you two don’t jump each other before Steve is well enough.”

Steve and Eddie looked at each other and blushed.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Jeff said, crossing his arms and leaning back on one foot.

“Eddie go get us some lunch and I’ll make sure Stevie here isn’t going to throw up again.”

Eddie nodded and grabbed his keys. He gave Steve a kiss on the cheek and dashed off, leaving Steve alone with Jeff.

Jeff turned on the light in the kitchen to better see Steve’s face. He held Steve’s chin and turned his head gently to the light and away from it.

“Your dilation is a little slow,” he said. “That’s not good.”

Steve nodded. “I’ve had concussions before. It feels a bit like that. The dizziness, the nausea, the pounding in my head.”

Jeff nodded. “I think I still have some anti-nausea medication and if I don’t, we can try some Pepto, okay?”

Steve nodded. “I wouldn’t have done anything,” he said softly.

Jeff raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“With Eddie,” he whispered. “Not before we got back to Hawkins, anyway.”

“Oh?”

Steve nodded again. “I’m bit too romantic for my own good. And having the chance I might ruin our first time with puking is the last thing I’d want.”

“First time?” Jeff asked over his shoulder as he went to the bathroom.

“I meant it when I licked him, he’s mine now.”

Jeff chuckled.

He came back out holding two bottles. “Looks like I have two kinds of anti-nausea meds. One is very heavy duty, so we’ll try the other one first. We don’t want to mix something heavier if the knock out drug is still in your system.”

Steve nodded.

“In fact,” Jeff muttered. “I should call my mom.”

He set the two bottles on the counter next to Steve and went to the phone.

After a brief conversation Jeff picked up the heavier medication. “She actually recommended the tougher meds to counter whatever was given to you. She even wants you to stop by on your way home so she can look you over.”

Steve blushed. “She doesn’t have to do that. I’ll be fine.”

Jeff raised an eyebrow and Steve ducked his head. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. My sister is a lot like you, you know.”

“Hmm?”

“She’s the oldest,” Jeff murmured, “so she was brought up that she had to take care of everyone else and couldn’t ask for help.”

“Oh.”

Jeff rubbed the top of his head. “Look, man. I get it, I really, really do. If your parents are as half the shit the rumor mill makes them out to be, you’ve been abandoned and neglected all your life. Somehow, someway you became the defacto older brother to the weirdest group of latchkey kids I’ve ever seen and you think you have to do everything for them because you didn’t get to have that. But thinking like that will only wear you down and out.”

“It’s hard,” Steve admitted. “They’ve been through so much.”

Jeff let out a sigh. “I get that too. You and those kids have been through some heavy ass shit. I also get that you think that because you’re the oldest you can’t tell them what you’re feeling because you don’t want to burden them.”

“You’re Robin and Nancy’s age,” Steve said quietly.

Jeff frowned, not quiet understanding the comment. Then it dawned on him. “Eddie isn’t.”

Steve’s head shot up. “What?”

“I know it’s hard to remember because he graduated with me and the other guys,” Jeff said. “But Eddie is older then you. He was supposed to graduate in ‘84.”

Steve blinked. “Oh. Yeah.”

“So lean on him,” Jeff said. “Yeah, you’re attracted to him. And you definitely want to fuck. But let him in emotionally, too. I think you’ll find he’s as a great a listener as he is a talker.”

Steve blushed.

Just then the door swung open to reveal Eddie with a large bag of McDonald’s.

“I didn’t know what you would like,” Eddie said with a grin, “so I got a little of everything I could think of.”

Steve smiled. “I’m sure I’ll find something I like then.”

They all dug in and polished off most the bag of fast food.

“Seriously,” Steve said, “why does greasy food always the best hangover cure?”

Eddie cocked his head to the side. “I don’t know. It defies all logic. You would think it would be stuff that was easy on your stomach like toast and rice would be better, but nope!”

Steve took Eddie’s hand. “Thanks for taking care of me. I appreciate it.”

Eddie blushed to his roots. “You don’t need to thank me. I just did what the next person would have done.”

Jeff snorted. “Bullshit. You went above and beyond and you know it. There is no shame in accepting his thanks. You did good, man.”

Eddie shoved his hair in front of his face to hide his embarrassment. “You’re welcome, Stevie.”

“I think you should go lay back down,” Jeff suggested to Steve. “We’ll be here if you need us.”

Steve nodded and wandered back to Eddie’s room. He closed the door and laid down, sure that he wouldn’t sleep as he had already slept a lot. But it appeared he needed it more than he thought as he drifted back to dreamland.

***

Part 6

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @vecnuthy @bookbinderbitch @littlewildflowerkitten @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @scheodingers-muppet @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @genderless-spoon @anne-bennett-cosplayer @irregular-child @lololol-1234 @monsterloverforhire @mugloversonly @live-the-fangirl-life @hellfireone @lublix @breealtair @croatoan-like-its-hot @f0xxyb0xxes @jamieweasley13 @r0binscript @confuseddisastertm @sleepdeprivedflower @thedragonsaunt @dissociatingdemon @dragonmama76

[solecize]

fic preview: save the date | san x reader

from middle school walls to lecture halls, choi san was your ultimate nemesis that, for most of your life, fought to do everything better than you. even worse, there was no escape from him when your older sister and his older brother were childhood sweethearts, disgustingly in love. years later, the inevitable wedding bells had now come around the corner for them and as her maid of honour, you had one goal: making sure nobody fucked up the wedding. specifically, you were not going to let san, the best man, fuck up the big day.

unfortunately, when the ring goes missing less than twenty hour hours before the wedding, you have no choice but to work with the said best man who you drunkenly slept with days before the wedding - yes, the same one that you hated for over a decade - to track down a ten thousand dollar ring. starting from midnight, it's a race against the clock for you and san to go on the wildest chase of your life to, well, save the date. 

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: san/female reader 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄. non idol au, epic rom com, academic rivals, childhood enemies to lovers, fluff, slight angst 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. foul language, violence, blood, mention of drugs and drug use, general substance use (smoking and drinking), y/n and san get stranded in a foreign city together after embarking on adventure where they almost get scammed, jumped, etc., assigned seats on an airplane trope, unrequited pining, san gets a glo up after coming back from the military, more to be added 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. n/a 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. tbd.

  being entrusted with the role of maid of honour meant a lot of things to different people, but it was different for you. you happily accepted the title for your sister’s wedding with one main goal in mind: making sure that no one fucks up the big day. specifically, making sure that choi san did not fuck up the big day. 

  unfortunately, with less than twenty-four hours before the wedding due to ring for your sister and san’s older brother, you realized that you were the one that fucked up.

  if someone were to tell you that you ended up dodging a robbery, lugging around a broken e-scooter, outrunning a rabid wild animal, and losing your phone the night before your sister’s wedding, you would have asked them what drugs they were on. and given a year’s worth of stress in anticipating and planning and fittings, you’d likely even ask them to share some. the worse part was that, you’d actually fucked up forty-eight hours before your sister’s wedding and the night you were currently having was just the cherry on top.

  but, that is where you found yourself in a foreign city with no money and no idea how to get back to your hotel at four in the morning. the only thing you could do was stare at choi san, still in his clothes from the rehearsal dinner earlier that night and was preoccupied with nursing his bruised knuckles. 

  san was not a smoker, but he leaned against the wall of a closed coffee shop with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. “you think this is all my fault, don’t you?” he grumbled, finally meeting your sharp gaze.

  this was not even the beginning of the story, though. the real beginning of the story begins in middle school circa 2012, when your first ever crush ruined everything before anything could even happen by simply opening his mouth. 

  choi san was the transfer student that all of the girls in your year whispered and giggled about. you only caught a glimpse of him on the first day of school when you could barely make out his face at the school assembly. 

  “he’s so freaking cute! did you get to see him, y/n?” 

  your best friend at the time jogged up to you at lunch and by this point in the day, you’d heard from nearly all your classmates about the mysterious new kid. you were a bit exasperated, feeling as though you were missing out.

  you shook your head. “no. i think i saw the side of his face, but that’s it.”

  “look at his instagram,” she swooned, tapping on her phone until his profile came up.

  you would never admit it aloud, but you thought your heart skip a beat. “that’s what he looks like? oh my god, he plays basketball, too?”

  that pretty much sealed the deal for you. without shame, you pulled out your own phone to follow san on social media, since it already looked like he was gaining mutuals from other people in your school. everyday from then on seemed to be a game of “can you spot your crush” at school and you got the closest when you lingered a little bit too long after gym class, long enough that you left as soon as basketball try-outs for the boys team began. 

  it was 2012 and nothing else mattered to you except crushing over choi san from respectable distance, gangnam style, one direction, and reading all of the hunger games books. it was like this for the first couple months at school, until you and san finally encountered one another.

  you heard from others that san was incredibly bright and academically gifted, so you were hoping that, he too, would join robotics club. it felt like a dream when your wishes came true and san walked into the first meeting of the season.

  “you’re totally staring at him,” whispered yeosang on this day, to which you elbowed him for. yes, you were definitely staring, but he could have just chose to keep his mouth shut.

  you’d avoided directly speaking to san for the first few meetings, just out of nerves alone. eventually, the club’s first major competition was to come around the corner and the club had to brainstorm their plan. 

  as one of the returning members from the year prior, you expected to be met with respect and have your opinions be considered important. the faculty supervisor had even told you that he had hopes for you taking over as captain in the next year, after the current leader, hongjoong, graduates. 

  “i can take charge of the programming team,” you offered, as hongjoong went over the challenge announcement of the competition.

  that was the moment everything went wrong.

  it looked there was no opposition, until you heard a chuckle from the other side of a room. you were confused, not recognizing the voice. spinning around, you saw that it was san and your heart dropped.

  “you? do you even know how to code?” his eyebrows were raised. 

  your jaw could have easily hit the floor, as you narrowed your eyes at him. “what?” was all you could say.

  “you’re a girl, there’s no way you should be in charge of programming.”

  that year, there were only three girls in robotics club, which was an improvement from the two the year before. it was you, who was the only female member with experience in the club, and then sunyoung and yena. 

  sunyoung never fucking spoke, she never even made eye contact with anyone. she kept to herself and was never going to speak up, but you knew that she was the highest ranking student in your year and had skipped an entire grade. you couldn’t believe sunyoung let that slide. meanwhile, yena always insisted that she was “one of the boys” and was the kind of girl to talk your head off about how she hates taylor swift. you might’ve even heard her murmur in agreement to what san said.

  “are you a fucking idiot?” your thirteen year old self snapped at san, eliciting gasps from around the room. 

  of course, your foul mouth came from none other than your headstrong older sister and at the same moment you began forming a life-long hatred for choi san, she was a couple blocks away at the high school, falling in love with choi san’s older brother during chemistry class. it was a classic high school love story, meeting as lab partners and experiencing first love in between shelves at the library. 

  one day, when your sister happily skipped into your room and sang that she now had a boyfriend, it had been weeks since you already declared san your nemesis. from what you remember, she was so head over heels for her lab partner that it was nauseating - she had to have been, since she was now marrying him over ten years later. 

  “he has a little brother your age, you know,” she said, later the same night. “goes to your school, maybe you’ve met him.”

  the two of you were relaxing on your bed, as your sister scooted closer to show you pictures of her new and first-ever boyfriend on her phone. you raised an eyebrow at her, wondering who she was talking about. 

  “maybe. what’s his name?” you asked.

  “san. choi san.”

[cutielando]

a thousand times | r.c.

synopsis: in which you'd be with him every single time

my masterlist

Thinking back on your life, you had made many mistakes and things you weren't proud of in your life. 

Getting yourself arrested, doing drugs, drinking yourself to oblivion for a period, housing fugitives. These were just at the top of the list.

However, one thing you would never regret was being with Rafe Cameron.

The way he made you feel, the safety that you felt whenever he was around you, the love and affection he showered you with every waking moment with every single opportunity, the absolute adoration present in his eyes whenever he would look at you.

You couldn't have considered yourself luckier to have someone like him by your side for the rest of your life.

From the beginning of your relationship, you had always been met with criticism. Everyone kept telling you that Rafe wasn't good enough for you, that he would just end up ruining your life and dragging you down with him, that he had mental problems, that you weren't safe around him and he was just going to hurt you.

But you didn't see the Rafe everyone would describe. 

You saw your Rafe. Your Rafe who was gentle with you, who always made sure you were happy and safe, made sure you had everything that you would ever need, made sure everybody on the island knew not to mess with you or even look at you the wrong way because he would be there to protect you. The Rafe who adored you and worshiped the ground that you walked on.

His father had a particularly strong dislike of your relationship, mainly because Rafe had started to change for the better ever since you got together and Ward realized his control over the boy was wearing thin.

You would often get into screaming matches with the older man, often resulting in Rafe getting between the two of you and taking your side. This fact deeply disturbed the patriarch. 

As your relationship progressed into something more and more serious every single day, Ward couldn't stand you being around him. He even tried forbidding Rafe from seeing you, but it was to no avail.

The boy had fallen so deeply in love with you that the thought of being away from you tore him apart from the inside.

The solution?

Very simple, especially in Rafe's mind.

He moved out of Tannyhill and moved in with you.

Your house was very spacious, your parents absolutely adored Rafe and were more than happy because of the new addition to the family. Knowing how Ward was and what kind of family atmosphere there was in the house, they took on the roles of the parents he had never had.

Especially your father.

He had always wanted a boy, a son to bond with and teach him the ways of life, so having Rafe around all the time gave him the opportunity to pass all of his knowledge down to the boy, who was more than content and happy to have someone caring for him like his family should have done for years and didn't.

After 3 and a half wonderful years together, Rafe had decided that he couldn't live without you by his side, getting down on one knee and asking you to marry him. It was very intimate, you had been having dinner with your parents on Christmas Eve, when he mentioned that he had to give you one last present.

You don't remember your mother or father ever crying as much as they did that evening. The whole night was spent dotting on the newly engaged couple, congratulations flying left and right and plans of the future lingering in the air.

There was some thinking going around as to whether or not Rafe would tell his family about the engagement and whether or not you would want them at your wedding.

Ultimately, Rafe settled for just calling his younger sister Wheezie, her being the only one that Rafe got along with and the only one he didn't hate in the entire family. Her reaction was just what you expected: she squealed so loudly into the phone that he was convinced she had busted his eardrum. 

Following the news of the engagement, after much thought and consideration, talks after talks with your parents, you and Rafe decided it was time to have a place of your own on the mainland. 

Rafe wanted to be as far away from his father as possible, and frankly, you needed a change of scenery. Even though the OBX would always be your home,  you needed something new and fun and different.

Your parents had helped you in the whole process of house-hunting, having offered to pay part of the sum while you and Rafe covered the rest.

After moving and settling in for a few months, you and Rafe quickly put together your dream wedding and got married in a beautiful intimate ceremony with just your parents, a couple of your friends and Wheezie, who had lied to her parents about going on a school trip to attend the wedding.

Wedding bliss was treating you well, the honeymoon phase seeming to never want to end. You enjoyed feeling of knowing you and Rafe were finally married, that you had made it despite everything. You had proved everyone wrong, showing them just how strong your love was and just how much you had helped each other to become better people and grow together.

Oftentimes, you find yourself deep in thought, thinking about everything. Thinking back to when your relationship had started, how it progressed into such a beautiful and strong love story. 

A thought would always creep in the back of your mind, often being voiced by Rafe himself when you would lay in bed, in the middle of the night, just talking because you couldn't sleep.

"Babe?" he would whisper, making you giggle and turn your head towards him.

"Yes?"

"If given the chance, would you do this all over again?" he was tracing your spine with his hands, making a shiver go down your back.

Looking deep into his eyes, you knew that you would never imagine yourself being there with anyone else other than him. There was nobody else for you, he was the only one. Your soulmate.

"A thousand times" you whispered and kissed him, pouring your love into the kiss.

And as you laid there in the dead of the night, basking in each other's presence and showering each other with love, you both knew that if given the chance, you would go through everything again just to be with each other.

A thousand times over again.

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[chimindity]

Your brother's fault

Summary | reader goes get his drug's dad not knowing her brother's enemy would be on her way.

Pairing | older brother!jj & little sister!reader

Warning | getting drugs, sexual assault, violence

A/N | insipired by this fic, please don't read it if you get easily triggered, no proofread

︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶

-"i'm not gonna be here this evening so I need you to get me a refill at Barry's, a'right?" Luke says, you knew this is not even a question, you didn't have the choice, you have to.

Walking near your bed he throw you the cash on it, enough for you to get him his drug, you quickly close your book and take his money.

-"y-yes i'll get it" you say stuttering knowing that if you ever say no, he would get angry and start hitting you.

Getting up from you bed, you kneel down to tie your shoes as he walks out of the door, you decide to not wear a jacket thinking he would be too hot outside, and it could ruin your outfit since you are wearing a little white dress with a pink bow on the back.

jj always told you to try staying away from your dad while he was not at home.

You walk your way to the front door, opening it and immediately closing behind you, you know like the path like back of your hand.

As soon as you sight his trailer, you start getting anxious fidgeting with the hem of your dress as you feel your heart beating faster the more you walk closer to the door.

You raise your hand up ready to knock on that door, you sigh, close your eyes and knock on it, and step back.

As you open your eyes, Barry shows up at the door a smirk forms on his face while looking you up and down, noticing you play with the hem of your dress and your face blushing bright red.

-"What is a pretty girl like you doing here?" He says leading you inside the trailer, Taking advantage of it to check you out.

As you enter in it, it smells drugs and the room is filled with old empty liquor bottles, you notice a brown haired boy sitting on the green couch, who seem to be the same age as your brother jj, it must be Rafe? Your brother never really talked to you about his life or even his friends, other than the pogues obviously.

He takes a look at you, smirking as well while you hear Barry locking the door behind him, -"what's your name cutie?" Barry says walking past you sitting beside Rafe on the couch as they both look at you.

Feeling like a sheep surrounded by a pack of wolves, you look at Barry, trying to ignore the way Rafe stares at you.

-"uhm I'm Y/n, Y/n maybank and I'm here to get the drugs for uh my dad" you try your best to not get intimidated, the second he heard you saying Maybank, his fists are clenching while rolling his eyes.

Barry chuckles not even looking you in the eyes but right on your thighs, the way you rub them together out of shyness makes him want to ruin you.

-"so we've got jj's little baby sister right here uh? That troublemaker still owes us a lot of money" Rafe speaks sending you a death stare, you look at him confusedly, why your brother owes them? You have no idea.

Suddenly Barry gets up and towers over you, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear as you look up at him, giving him the cash.

-"i'll give the drugs later, now why don't you uh come sit with us? I gotta show you something" barry smirks, taking the money and throwing it on the glass table, making your way to the couch beside Rafe.

-"here, sit down on my laps pretty girl" Rafe says as he grabs a hold of the back of your thighs, pulling you on his laps.

While he looks at you, getting touchy on you, you don't notice Barry walking behind you holding your hair up, Rafe smirks at him starting to bounce his laps, making you fall against his chest.

-"there, there sweetheart" Rafe massages your thighs as you feel Barry's hands tightening the grip on your hair making you wince.

-"shh hey why don't you give Rafe a kiss? I think he deserves some kindness after what your brother have done to us, don't you think so?" Rafe nodds at him, slowly groping your ass making you whine.

Barry pulls your face closer to rafe's, forcing you to kiss him, -"yeah jus' like that there we go" he chuckles behind you, as Rafe groans between the kiss and start touching your body in a perverse way, maybe they were just being nice after all? Not being close to your dad, made you grow up without knowing any dangers of life, but especially of men.

You place your hands on Rafe's chest to keep you still, when you feel his hands tracing the outline of your dress, Barry releases on of his hand from your makeshift ponytail and start unzipping your dress.

You immediately pull away from the kiss and start getting scared, -"no! Please no" you sob as they keep ignoring you, Barry slides your dress over your shoulders leaving you in your underwear, feeling used you start sobbing even more as you try covering your body.

-"ain't that cute? The bastard's little sister is a real slut, look at her Rafe" barry smirks from behind making your tits bounce with his hands.

Your sobs become louder, closing your eyes and just wanting all of it to be over, until you feel a sharp pain on your cheek causing you to open your eyes, watching Rafe smiles taking pleasure of slapping you.

You start rubbing your right cheek with the back of your hand, when Barry yanks you hair up tugging on it.

-"tell your brother to gives us the money or we'll ruin his pretty sister, got it?" Your body tenses and shivers, feeling Rafe peeking a look at your pink panties.

-"bet no one has ever cummed in it, how lucky we are, Barry" he chuckles starting to put pressure on your clit through your panties with his thumb, making you buck your hips up.

"i get her the drugs, then we'll release her" Barry speaks and grabs the drugs from the kitchen, meanwhile Rafe keep using you, trying your best to pull his hands away from you.

-"remember that i'm way bigger than you" he huffs, his hand finds his way around your neck, taking a firm grip making you whine.

-"p-please y-you're hurting me" you sob, but at this point your vulnerable state drives him crazy, wanting to ruin you.

As Barry comes back, he releases his grips making you gasp for air, quickly wipping off the tears sliding on your face.

-"there we go, come back whenever you want princess" Barry says sarcastly as slides your dress back on your body.

As you get up from Rafe's legs, he gives you a light spank on your chest, -"see you later pretty doll" he laughs as he looks at you running to the door trying to unlock it.

Realising that the door is still locked, you glance at both of them, Barry smirks and realises -"shit uh i'll unlock it" he says and unlock it, as soon as he opens the door you run away from the trailer crying and sobbing.

You don't even realise jj's bike infront of you on the path, causing you to fall, you sit down and start crying louder putting your hands over your face.

When a hand touches your shoulder, -"hey hey why's the crying for sweetie?" You hear your brother's voice, you lift your head up, eyes all teary from the crying, he notices the bruises on your neck and your cheek.

-"what's happened?" He says getting worried helping you to stand up, as you stand up the little white bag fall from your hand, jj sights it.

-"Y/n..? Did dad tell you to get his drugs?" He knew it, he could tell by the way you cry and sob, that something awful happened to you.

You nodd snuggling against the crook of his neck allowing you to cry harder.

-"shh shh i've got you cupcake" he rubs your back as he feels your body shaking in his arms.

-"for now, i'll never leave the house without you, so in that way dad will never ask you to get his drugs by yourself" he speaks slowly trying to comfort you.

-"i-it was horrible" you sob harder, jj grabs the little bag and help you walk to the house.

-"i'll clean those bruises and put some ice on them, then we could watch tv in my room s'that good?" Jj says patting your hair with his hand.

You nodd snuggling against him as you hold his hand, walking through the house he gives the white bag to your dad and walk with you upstair in his room.

-"lay on the bed, i'll go grab the first aid kit" he says smiling at you as you lay against the headboard of his bed.

You could never hate your brother even if he was the reason of what happened to you.

[scaly-freaks]

cherry wine stains 8.0

playing it a little differently and rewinding back to their school years but with an Aegon POV this time.

all previous parts in pinned.

"I like your knee-high socks."

"I like the chain you wear like a crucifix."

"Strange way to describe it."

"I don't know. It just - it hangs around your neck like the absence of something."

Her words dissolve like sugar into the cup of his mind.

Clever people don't realise the riptide of their soul is not being fed until they meet another clever person. Aegon's currents slow to a whispered crawl as his eyes trace Amara's profile, creating images in the tangle of her windswept curls.

She's left a lipstick print on his mother's favourite mug. When he sees it, his soul unhooks from where he keeps it folded away, right there at the base of his neck where the silver chain fastens.

Later, he'll kiss that print, see if the measure of his mouth is enough.

Helaena told him in private: You can't! You can't, you can't, you can't! You ruin everything!

The frantic protests of a younger sister who thinks - knows - that her older brother getting involved with one of her friends is going to end up in a loss for her. He's dated one of Helaena's friends before (it ended in the kind of operatic disaster you only ever see on Eastenders).

He does not want to date Amara as much as he wants to pry her open like a game of cat's cradle and weave apart the strings that keep her mobile. Half the time, Aegon suspects she isn't truly awake. Some part of her is drowning in slumber, deep as Briar Rose. He catches that moment sometimes, as she blinks at him with those sleepy eyes.

The texture of her thoughts - when she gives them up - slips like satin over his fingers.

"Do you want a smoke?" He flips the mint-green box in his palm and grins.

Her gaze is longing. "I told my mother I'd quit. Besides, aren't menthol cigarettes banned here?"

He shrugs, slipping one between his pinched lips to hold it steady. "Nothing's banned if you squint."

"Flawed logic," she laughs.

"She said to a drug dealer."

That makes her laugh harder. He likes making her laugh. Feels worthwhile somehow. Not much in his life feels that way these days.

The younger siblings are all growing up, leaving school, moving onto greener pastures, where the chaotic drudgery of the council estate turns into a crystalline vision in the rearview, something to put into personal statements and add what rich tossers would call flavour.

They don't need him like they used to. He and his mother have raised them to become self-sufficient and now Aegon has to figure out what he wants to do with himself because where the kids are going, they won't want to admit what their brother does - has done - for a living to ensure their survival. He predicts he'll be the family embarrassment every Christmas, the uncle that shows up drunk, with a sliver of something in his eyes that suggests he could have been something once.

He knows he won't end up that way. His need to be someone, get somewhere, is far too aggressive. But he does fear no longer being needed by the people who have relied on him so long he can no longer extricate himself from the identity of protector.

Maybe it's why he likes making Amara laugh.

She doesn't have siblings. Her eyes still dart around, nervous, as if aware her protection in this world is lacking compared to that of others. Her parents won't always be around. When they are gone, there won't be siblings to divide her grief up with. It'll just be her.

If his subconscious is turning her into his new surrogate sister, it doesn't reconcile well with the instinct that stirs when her skirt rides up an inch.

Alicent's stained glass lamp flickers, bulb on the brink of permanent death. Aegon reaches over to ensure it is screwed on properly and it affords them a last burst of weak light. Amara reaches out her hand under the dappled glow of its illumination, slipping her fingers under the violets, yellows and greens, as the crook of her elbow turns rose pink.

"I've always liked your mother's taste in furniture."

"Yeah? Take it. She wants to throw it out."

"No. If she's decided it's dead, it should go. I'll just be keeping the corpse if I took it."

Aegon's eyes wrinkle at the corners, smile disguised by the inhale of the cigarette. "It's not organic material. There's no corpse."

She glances at him, as if aware of his mockery despite the affection he delivers it with. "I think some inanimate objects come alive if they are loved enough. Alicent's had this lamp since I've known her. It's lived with her, and now it'll die. We shouldn't interrupt the process."

No wonder Helaena adores her.

They are both odd creatures, his little sister, and this intense, doll-eyed mirage that turned up at their doorstep one day, hungry for oven chips and love. She reached out her cold hands to Alicent, and found herself overwhelmed with the warmth and affection given in return.

He's known her so long, she should feel like a sibling.

What does it say about him if he can't stop wondering what it must feel like to graze his lips over her stomach and tongue that bellybutton ring she got in a short-lived fit of rebellion?

Aegon flicks aside the cigarette, mouth acidic with guilt.

He isn't the kind of person who wants. Other people want. Aegon goes out and gets. There isn't enough time to submerge in the feeling of want and understand the true depth of craving the human soul can achieve.

But he sees the whorl of soft hair at the nape of her neck and the feeling crawls up the rungs of his ribcage like a creature possessed. He pictures being small enough to curl up in the soft folds of her clothing, to soak in the scent of her until he passes out from exhaustion.

That feels like enough wanting for today.

"I'll see you downstairs, yeah?"

If she looks disappointed, it's just wishful thinking on his part. She knows he's not going anywhere. He'll be in the living room with the rest of the family who've put on Shrek and are split into two groups - the half that sings along, and the half that won't.

"I'll be down in a bit."

"Cool."

A sudden gust of wind lifts her hair, and the flimsy ribbon comes loose. He catches it before it finds freedom. She turns, expectant, waiting for the inevitable return of her almost-lost property. He pulls it between his fingers, wonders if it also carries life inside the woven thread, the way she claimed his mother's lamp does.

The weight of her hair rivals Isolde's.

Irish myths were a rooted part of his childhood, laced into Alicent's quiet voice every bed time. She swears the Hightowers are mostly, if not fully, Irish. But she could never be sure of how far back, or of the intricacies of any bloodlines. Rich people have the luxury of unfurling a family tree across the polished mahogany of their dining room table. They get to find their eyes, noses and mouths in the faces of people who lived too long ago to care what has become of their DNA.

Poor people make do with maybes and perhaps because most of the time, the lives of their ancestors are of no interest to anyone but themselves. Unless a mining forefather was crushed in a collapse and the resulting riots tore down a political establishment.

So, his mother pulled them back to times so ancient, the ancestors became common for all, their bloodlines too distant to maintain individuality.

If Tristan and Isolde are in Aegon's ancestry, that past life becomes tangible when he runs his fingers through Amara's hair and tames it into a braid he's practiced on Helaena a hundred times.

"There's something mythical about your hair," he says, and then cuts himself short because he deals drugs for a living, and whatever fancy thought this was about to be would make more sense from someone more booksmart.

She cranes her neck back and gives him the brightest upside-down smile. "That's the best compliment anyone's ever given me."

Aegon bites the inner corner of his lip and nudges her to look straight so he can keep braiding.

Once her eyes are off his face, it splits into a smile. Warmth drains down his spine like gold egg yolk poured from its shell. Once the braid is done, he rests his chin on the top of her head, and passes it off as brotherly with a goldfish-squeeze of her cheeks.

He lingers, inhales deep, smells her, turns her scent into binary code that he will decipher in isolation later.

"Don't be too long. You'll catch your death out here."

[sadlilghostt]

My little sunshine.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐃𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐗 𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

๑ | Synopsis : angel dust hated everyone, including his parents. He hated them with burning passion but apart from you.. You were his delicate little flower and he'll do anything to his power to shield you from this sacred world.

๑ | Tw : angst, toxic household, toxic parents, mentions of death, mentions of blood, maggots will be mentioned, cursing, mentions of drugs.

His loss and ruin.

Anthony was never fond of his parents, two adults would always shoots him nasty words and called him names, he was the black sheep of the family.

He despised his family, well excluded from you, you were nothing but a delicate little flower that he could never bring himself to hate you, even though you came from the woman he hated. Don't get him wrong a little part of him still loves his parents, but the treatment they give him erases the love he feels from them and from their constant arguments.

But you, oh you.. So innocent, so precious. He wanted to protect you from everything. And so he did.

Anthony hugged your shaking small frame, your little hands gripping at his shirt as you buried your face into his chest, crying as you listened to the shouting outside of his room, Thuds and crashes echoed around the house.

" shhh.. Shhh 's ok toots, I got ya.. Anth is here with ya.. Shh.. " your older brother ushers you as he ran his fingers to your ( insert hair length) blonde locks.

Your body shook and flinched when a loud crash echoed outside of his door.

" a-anth.. " you cried more, gripping at his shirt like your life depends on it.

" 's ok sunshine.. It'll be ova' soon.. " he kissed your forehead as he hugged your smaller frame, also afraid of the quarrel just the other side of his door, his parents fights were never that violent, there fight right now is far worse than their previous fights.

Anthony pulled away from your figure as he looked at you with an assuring look " hey.. How a bout a little song? " he smiled as you sniffles and slowly nodded before curling once again to him.

Anthony smiled as he started patting your head softly.

" you are my sunshine.. " he started " my only sunshine.. " he pulled you closer to his chest , completely shielding your form from his door.

" you make me happy.. " he looked down at you, eyes were shut tightly closed, nose were scrunched and knitted brows with your little lips quivering, nose and eyes were already red from crying. " when skys are grey.. " he cupped your cheek with his hand and wiped the tears under your eye with his thumb as you slowly opened your eyes to look at him. His heart melted at those big doe eyes and your baby blue hues.

He smiled warmly as he wiped more of your tears, you already started to calm down, completely drawn to his voice.

" you'll never know dear, how much a love you. " your frown from earlier were already replaced with a peaceful smile, your eyes fluttering from sleepiness.

" so please.. Don't take my sunshine.. " he cuddled closer to you " away.. " he finishes his song.

" anth.. " you little voice called out.

" yes sunshine? " he hummed as he ran his fingers to your (hair length) locks. " please don't leave me.. " you whimpered. Anthony cracked a smile before kissing the top of your head.

" never plan on it sunshine. "

" promise? "

" promise, now close those pretty little eyes and go chase some sheep's. " you giggled at his words before curling closer to him. By now, your parents seems like left the house adding more to your serenity.

That's right, you're his delicate little flower, his sunshine, his only source of light. He'd do anything for you, fight anyone for you, you're his darling little sister, his little sunshine.

Growing up, the both of you were inseparable, well you both always have been.

The two of you ran away from your parents house when they started to get violent with the two of you, especially your father.

The two of you lived in the streets, stealing here and there in order to live. The two of you did everything together, you don't mind the fact the you no longer have a home and parents to have, atleast you have your older brother.

The both of you had each other's back.

You and Anthony currently staying in the woods away bit far from people for safety. And it wasn't that bad at all.

Anthony found a job, he was earning a lot that you both finally bought a small house. You were able to wear decent clothes again. But the case is, he never told you what his job was.

Anthony would always come home late and bruisies over his neck, you teased him for that thinking he finally have someone. And not knowing what actually happened behind those.

He also started to act weird, like he always looked lost and high, you shrugged it off since it's his business. You respect your brother and trusted him he won't do something very stupid. Oh how wrong you are.

You were alone in the house tonight, anthony hasn't come home yet and you were just cleaning the house when a banging noise erupted from your door.

You sighed irritatedly as you yelled "coming" as you wiped your hands to your skirt and opened the door.

" jeez, do you have to- " you were hit in the face.

Your body slammed into the ground, before you could even recover, your hair was picked up harshly making your hands fly out to the cultrips hand, then you felt the air from your throat got restricted due to the cultrip gripping at your neck.

You gasped as you tried to claw his other hand. You looked down to see a masked person but you can tell it was a man.

You squrimed under his grip as you gasped when he slammed you onto the wall with his hand gripping at your neck.

" where the fuck is Anthony?.. " he growled and you whimpered.

" WHERE IS HE?! " he yelled as he lessen the grip he had on your neck for you to speak.

" i-.. Dont- k-know- " he growled.

" he- ha-hasnt.. Come.. Home y-yet- " you cried, your mind was reeling with thoughts, what did Anthony do that made this man barged here? Be this violent? Who was this man? Why was he so angry at your brother? More importantly, where is Anthony?

Tears escaped your eyes as you closed your eyes, mouth agape as he squeezed your neck.

He growled before throwing you to the ground, you coughed as you held your neck already feeling the bruise forming in.

" that fucking dick. " he grumbled as he thrashes around the house.

" p-please.. What- do you want- from us.. What- did he do to make-up y-you this angry..." your voice was croaked due to the choke he had you earlier. The man stopped from his actions before turning to you as he let out a laugh.

" what do i want? " he laughed before walking to your direction and kneeling down to your height as he grabbed your jaw, his fingers dug harshly to your cheeks making you whimper.

" well seems like your dick of a brother didn't tell you shits hm? " tell you what?

" well listen here doll—" his grip on your jaw tightened making you wince. " your peace of shit of a brother took buncha' of my drugs n' money.. After all I did for that brat. " he growled turning away as he spat more incoherent curses at your missing brother.

He stopped from a moment as he chuckled making your heart clenched in fear as he slowly turn back to you.

" say.. Since that bitch took bunch of my precious items.. " your heart stopped as you saw something glimmer to his pocket. " I don't mind takin' somethin' precious from him too. "

Anthony was running breathlessly to his house upon seeing the familiar house, relief flew to his nerves. He need to get you out of here and flee away.

But his heart stopped when he saw the door was open and light closed.

He pants trying to catch his breath as cold sweats run to his face. Oh how he started to pray from the Gods that you aren't harmed.

Picking up his thoughts, he ran to the house only to stopped once he saw how thrashed the place was. Shit.

" s-sunshine?! " he called as he frankly looking around. " Y/N?! " he called again, then his eyes caught a red train just on the loungue of their house. His heart stops.

' No no no no this can't be happening- please this can't be- ' his breath started to get ragged and heavy.

" a-anth?.. " a weak voice called out to him. He turned to the side only to see you.. Leaning on the wall, on the ground with your hand on your stomach. There was also a trail of blood on the wall your leaning in.

" Y/N! " he triped to his steps as he ran to your side as he slowly bring your form to his chest. Blood smudges his shirt.

" fuck- nonononono- please h-hold on sunshine- please bare with it a little longer- Anth i-is here now, big brother is here now.. Fuck- I'm so so so sorry.. " he choked as he gently laid you back to the wall and started looking for the telephone only to see it to be crush.

" FUCK! " he cried

" anth.. " you called again, tiredness was clear to your voice as you watched him grip at his hair.

He turned to you, years were already spilling to his blue eyes as he walked back to your form and hugged you.

" I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry, don't worry- I'll bring you to the doctors ok? Anth will help you heal ok? Please just- please sunshine don't close your eyes.. "

" anth.. I don't think I will be able to make it.. " you whimpered as you looked down to your hand on your stomach which was covered with your blood.

" i.. Lost too much blood.. " you hummed as you looked back at him, you started to see black dots on your eyes, you squeezed your eyes shut before opening them back again.

Anthony lips quivered as more tears escaped his eyes.

" no.. "

" anth.. "

" please- don't leave me.. " he cried. " I'm so sorry I dragged you into this.. Please.. Don't leave me.. " he cried.

" Anthony.. "

He sobbed as he looked back at you, his heart shattered to see a tired look on your eyes, his heart broke more when he saw the sad smile on your eyes.

" can you.. Just please stay? I'm tired.. " you leaned into his chest. He wrapped his arms around your form as he cried more.

" anth..? "

" y-yes.. Sunshine? " he sobbed as he sents you in between his legs, you thighs were resting on too of his legs while he hugged your upper body.

" can you.. Sing for me?.. "

Anthony smiled sadly as his lips quivered. " sure.. Sunshine.. I will.. Sing you a song.. "

You smiled more as you rested on his chest, your eyes never leaving his face.

" y-you are my sunshine, my only sun..shine.. " he started singing, his voice was shaking. " you make me h-happy.. When skies are gray.. " you felt your consciousness slowly leaves your body as you nuzzled into his shoulder. " you'll never knew dear.. H-how much I love you.. " he hugged your tighter. " please.. Don't take my sunshine... " he choked out a sob as he clutched at to your now unmoving body " away.. "

He stayed still for s moment before leaning away from you only to see your now empty blue eyes, you're once lively and bright blue eyes we're now nothing but void and emptiness, blood was dripping from your now pale lips as you still held that small smile. His heart shattered in a millions pieces as soon as he realized that. You're gone.

His shoulder shook as he hugged your tighter as he let out a loud ugly cry as he cradled your body.

Oh how he will never recover from this, he regretted everything, for not telling you and for now coming home sooner, for getting addicted. He never have hated himself more than now. He cried and cried praying for you to call him again and hug him. He cried till he had no more tears to shed, he cried until he had no more voice to scream. He cried until he was left there motionless, just staring at your body watching the maggots eat your body away.

Anthony swears to himself, if he ever have a chance to meet you, he'll be a better brother for you. He prayed the Gods to meet you again.

[ashwhowrites]

Eddie Munson part 2

FD series

~

Missing you- requested - Eddie misses his girlfriend (fluff)

Marry me- requested- Eddie is ready to propose (fluff)

Nervous- requested - Eddie and Y/N are always confident, just not around each other (fluff)

Upside down- requested- Eddie and his girlfriend break up, but maybe the upside down will bring them together (angst to fluff)

Fboy- requested- Eddie likes to sleep around but one girl is changing everything ( angst to fluff)

Happy birthday Wayne - requested- Eddie and his girlfriend celebrate Wayne's birthday (fluff)

The cheerleader?- requested-Eddie falls for a cheerleader, Gareth needs to stop it (angst to fluff)

FWB- Eddie is fwb with his neighbor, and he easily ruins it (angst)

Savior- requested- Eddie saves the girl he's been in love with ( angst, fluff, slight smut)

His power - requested- Eddie's girlfriend tends to be bitchy before she gets her dose of Eddie (fluff)

Safe word- requested - Eddie goes too far (smut to angst to fluff)

Quiet - requested- Eddie's girlfriend isn't quiet... ever (smutty)

Dustin's hero - Dustin's hero breaks his heart, as well as his sisters (angst)

Loud- requested - Eddie hurts his girlfriends feeling when he calls her loud (angsty to fluff)

Gareth and her- requested- Eddie believed his two best friends like each other ( angst to fluff)

The director- requested- Eddie has an affair with his director ( angst )

Wrestling - requested - blurb - Eddie and reader get caught by their son ( fluff, smutty)

Scared- requested - Eddie is in love with his best friend but too scared to be hers ( angst to fluff )

Drugs or me- requested Eddie has to pick between drugs or his family ( angst )

Lose me- requested Eddie does something that costs him his family ( angst )

Eyes - requested - Eddie has a way with words, but she doesn't ( fluff )

Rejection - requested - Eddie gets rejected by Chrissy, Y/N offers to be his rebound. All is good until she falls for him. ( Angst to fluff )

My girl- requested - Y/N has a crush on Eddie, but Chrissy starts to give Eddie the light of day. Where does that leave her? ( Angst to fluff )

Fake- requested - Y/N asks Eddie to be her fake boyfriend

?Blah- requested - Y/N can't talk around Eddie

Eddie's brother- requested- Eddie's older brother needs a place to stay, and it does not end well (angst and fluff)

Done for good- requested- the break up is real for Eddie when he receives a box of his stuff ( angst )

Truth- requested - Y/N has to break up with Eddie to protect him from the upside down ( angst to fluff )

Bully- requested- Eddie's a bully ( angst to less angst?)

Jason's goons - requested - Eddie is upset because of Jason and his goons and takes it out accidentally on Y/N

Be there- requested - Eddie and Y/N fight about Chrissy, Eddie isn't there when Y/N needs him the most ( angst to fluff )

Eddie's tattoo - requested - Eddie gets a tattoo for his girl ( smut )

So good - inspired by So good by Halsey ( angst)

Cheerleader's dare- requested - Y/N is dared to ask out the new kid, but he isn't new to her

Eddie cums in seconds- requested - Gn!reader ( blurb, smut)

Just a family friend - requested - Eddie introduces his girlfriend to his friends ( angst )

Jason's little sister - requested - Eddie falls for Y/N Carver, so the relationship must be a secret (fluff)

Swelling- requested- Y/N finds out she is pregnant after Eddie's death, but now he's back? ( angst to fluff)

Deserving- requested- Y/N believes Eddie deserves some good in his life (smut)

Jealous Eddie- requested- Eddie finds himself jealous while Y/N works on a partner project ( fluff )

Dad's best friend - requested - Eddie finds himself attracted to Steve's daughter ( angst, fluff, smut )

Ex friends- request for- Y/N and Eddie have sex....what happens after is their downfall ( smut, angst )

FWB..again?- requested - Eddie fell for her, he thinks she fell for Steve ( angst to fluff )

Just like in the movies- requested - Eddie realizes he loves his best friend through romance movies, but scared she doesn't feel the same ( very little angst to fluff )

Lighting his cigarette - blurb

Perv!Eddie- blurb

BFF...best friends fuck- requested - Eddie needs help healing after the upside down....sexual help included( smut )

The opposite - requested - Eddie falls for the cheerleader but his best friend wants to stop it ( angst to fluff )

....me? - requested

Trailer trash hero - requested - Y/N finds out she's dating her father's enemy ( angst to fluff )

Do-over- requested - Y/N finally asks Eddie out, but it didn't go as planned ( fluff, angst, and fluff )

Thank you - requested - Eddie helps his younger neighbor when she's drunk, and she wants to say thank you ( fluff to smut )

Party love- requested - Eddie saves Y/N after an incident at a party, and starts to fall for him ( angst to fluff )

Fighting girlfriend - requested - Y/N stands up to Eddie's bully ( slight angst? Fluff)

Sick - requested - Eddie is worried when his girlfriend doesn't show up to school ( fluff )

Recovery - requested - Y/N is recovering from an ED, Wayne and Eddie are there to help

Popularity isn't everything - requested - Y/N lies to protect her popularity, and hurts Eddie in the process

Sex tape- requested - Eddie sent his sex tape to the wrong person ( smut )

Games - requested - Eddie and Y/N hate each other, but sex changes it all ( angst, smut, fluff )

Missed call - requested - Y/N's pregnancy brain messes up Eddie's big break. ( angst to fluff )

Everything or nothing - requested - Eddie falls for Y/N, but can't give up his fuck boy ways. He has to pick if she means everything or nothing ( smut and angst )

Older dealer- requested - Eddie finds himself falling for a young client ( tiny smut )

The tables - requested - Eddie and his girl take turns at the hellfire and popular table. Everyone warmed up to Eddie but Jason ( fluff )

Helper Max - requested - Eddie wants to ask out Max's tutor (fluff)

Good girl- requested - headcanon- Eddie is dating the good girl and no one understands it (fluff)

?- requested - Y/N falls for Eddie, but a rumour makes her second guess it ( angst to fluff )

Drunk Harrington - requested - Y/N and Eddie went to a party, now Eddie must bring her home drunk to her brother Steve ( fluff)

Lacy- requested - Eddie wants a divorce, but it doesn't take him long to regret it ( angst, mentions of miscarriage )

Vampires - Halloween blurb🎃

Demon & Angel- Halloween blurb🎃

Pumpkin carving - Halloween blurb 🎃

Fans- requested - Y/N gets hate from Eddie's fans because of her age ( angst to fluff )

Needy- requested - Eddie is worried he's the problem when his girlfriend doesn't want to have sex ( angst to smut )

Trick or treat - requested - Eddie has a thing for the cheerleader, to make her notice him he plans a trick for Halloween

Keep it down- requested - Y/N tries everything she can to get her neighbors attention ( smut )

Oh, baby - requested - Eddie and Y/N are divorced, but an unplanned pregnant brings them together ( fluff )

Mom- requested - Y/N's mom disapproves of Eddie and forces them to break up ( angst to fluff )

Eyes on you- requested - Eddie and Y/N hate each other, so why did they end the night together? ( smutish and fluff )

good enough?- requested- Eddie struggles with feeling good enough, including his marriage (angst)

The cult- requested - Y/N Carver has eyes for Eddie, and Jason wants to do all he can to stop it ( fluff to angst to fluff )

The princess and the prince?-requested - Y/N and Eddie hooked up, then met with silence. A Halloween party might have brought them together ( angst to fluff )

Ghost face - Eddie plays dress up ( smut )

Girl next door- requested - Y/N has eyes for her hot older neighbor, turns out he was watching too ( angst, smut, fluff )

Jealousy games - requested- Eddie tries to make his girlfriend jealous, but he goes too far ( angst to fluff )

Chapstick- requested - fluff blurb

Deal?- requested - Eddie's FWB dropped him...now he's not sure how he'll sleep. Luckily for him, a certain cheerleader has a deal ( angst? Fluff? Smut)

Too young for a ring- requested - Eddie is older and likes younger girls. Steve worries he'll never find the one ( tiny angst, fluff )

Hiking- requested - fluff blurb

Big sister - requested - Eddie's big sister tends to run away Eddie's girlfriends. But Y/N wants to show she's different ( angst? Fluff)

Perfume- requested - Eddie's girlfriend's birthday is coming up and he wants to get her something she loves....perfume. (fluff)

Red lipstick - requested - Eddie has a secret admirer ( fluff )

Aftercare blurb

Slob- requested - Y/N thought dating an older man meant he'd pick up after himself ( angst ? Fluff )

A taste of medicine - requested - Eddie was a fuck boy, Y/N was able to move on...how? ( Angst? Fluff )

Give me a P! E! V! E! R! T! - requested - Eddie pervs on the new cheerleader ( smutty )

?- requested - Eddie talks about his dislike for cheerleaders, not knowing his cheerleader was listening ( angst to fluff )

Birthday surprise - requested - Eddie is on tour over his birthday, so his girlfriend surprises him ( fluff )

Bedtime Angel- requested- Eddie can't sleep after the events of the upside down, but he has an angel to help ( angst, fluff )

[rozeliyawashereyall]

Korey Adiel~

a rant about my gal for @aspenm00n to use as a ref ^_^

Korey 'Hathai' Adiel

Thai/Korean

19-20 years old

Height is 5'3

AFAB at birth but she's a Demigirl and Bisexual ^_^

She has Hypomania and Face blindness

Mbti is ENTP-A

chaos chaos chaos all throughout life

She was born to a pretty wealthy couple, problem was they were very, very neglective, forgetting about her existence even.

And from birth, girlie was already very energetic

She has 2 brothers, the older one is Esra at 24 y/o. and the younger is Noah at 14 y/o.

Now, Esra has already cut his parents off, and he absolutely refuses to see them again. He has a job, and a family now, and he's not about to let them ruin it.

Noah is kind of like a golden child, but he's actually aware of how his parents treated his older siblings. Planning to leave his home at his 15th birthday and go live with his brother.

Now with Korey is a little different. Her parents have only acknowledged her when they need to take her somewhere with them to keep up their reputation.

Desperate to make her parents notice her, she started putting herself in seriously dangerous situations at only 6 y/o, going as far as to try to gouge her eyes out with scissors to give them to her parents so they'd use them to look at her, she did that when she was 9.

Don't worry though, Esra found her before she actually gouged out her eyes.

The village people didn't really like Korey that much..

That didn't stop her from being even more reckless, however. From jumping off a cliff to almost drowning herself, safe to say she has a LOT of scars from her careless endeavors.

The only few scars she has that aren't from her purposefully putting herself in danger is one on her back, a huge claw like scar from when her and her friend Jay were attacked by a most likely drugged halfblood. Unfortunately, Jay didn't survive the attack, leaving Korey with scars and guilt.

While she did become a hunter out of rage to kill the halfblood.. As much as she wanted to deny it, it was also just for the thrill of it. Also because of a deal I talked about in part 2

I mean, comon! This is like the one job there is where they'll let you run around with weapons and put yourself in danger! Also, she knew that there's no point in harming the other halfbloods because they weren't the ones who killed Jay. Also, other than the thrill, this is like the perfect choice for her to prove that she isn't as apathetic, that she does care and is trying to make a "change" even if she thinks it's wrong

She's pretty indifferent with halfbloods at first, doesn't really mind their existence as long as they hurting anyone

Also, girlie is so fast to trust someone?? But it doesn't really show?? She was often criticized as being heartless by the village people, which ultimately became one of her reasons of becoming a hunter

When she goes manic, girlie is so SO much hyper then she already is, not being able to sleep for days from how energetic she is, ruining her mental health even more

Has a terrible habit of hurting herself when she's in a manic state, especially if she doesn't have her necklace on her

Also girlie is so shit cooking?? The amount of times she burnt water is concerning

And the number of times she'd got lost is worrying- please do not leave this girl by herself for more than 5 minutes or she will end up in another village, that's how bad her sense of direction is

And uh...i think that's it! I do have other posts explaining some things about Korey here, here two, here three, and here four <3

Sigh...adding this again, because tumblr deleted it-

Korey is friends with all of the bugs! But I decided to write a lil rant about what she thinks of some of em :3

Raine and Esther: they're the other founders!! Of course she likes them <3 they're both like sisters to her! Esther more mother figure then sisters, they would always go do errands together! (And because Korey is always getting lost) @willowve01 @asmrbrainrot

East, Lucy and LilyAnn: Korey's other parental figures :3, East more grandpa lol- she always goes to them for advice! Whether it be about Combat, relationships, or just to rant! Also loves to bother them with her energy (lovingly ofc) @itsargyle @castbracelet240 @tiefling-chaos

Her, Azren, and Ulysses are the no sleep trio lol, they'd stay up together to chat about whatever is on their mind, maybe even go on a little night outing while they're at it! @strayharmony943 @lunaritychuwolf

Loves Reya and Melody's energy! Always goes to dance practice with me when she's offered! @kaiamtt @iistxrmyskyii

Joan and Emerald are her clothing designers lol- they'd sometimes have a fashion runway for no reason but to try on new clothes and feel good about themselves <3 @rustycopper4use @aspenm00n

Amber and Victor! Loved to trade drawings with them! They all sometimes have little hangouts where they'd just draw whatever comes to their mind on eachothers notebook! @astralbulldragon13 @littlesiren79

And that's all! Tumblr istg if you delete this again I'll actually explode and itll be on your hands

[octuscle]

New start

Gaz sat crying on the shabby sofa bed in his one-bedroom apartment in the run-down social housing building. He must not have cried in 20 or 30 years. But now he was at the end of his rope. It couldn't get any worse. His wife had separated from him a few weeks ago. Their son together, conceived during the only sex of his life, had followed his destiny and at the age of 15 was already regularly hanging out drunk at the bus stop with his unemployed friends. He had dropped out of school a long time ago.

The bailiff had just come and seized his TV, cell phone and his grandfather's wristwatch. Gaz was at the bottom. Way down. And he had not only ruined his life. But also at least that of his wife and son. He had known he was gay for 17 years. He had never been able to confide in anyone. In a drunken stupor he had sex with his wife, who promptly became pregnant and whom he had married out of some residual decency.

And now he had a photo in his hands, which his wife had put on the kitchen table for him to say goodbye without comment. Gaz already quite drunk in the arms of his buddies. Kyle, to his knowledge, had been dead for two years. Drunk to death. And at some point during the evening, he had been fired up to fuck the already pretty drugged Vicky. And shit, that's what he had done. Already that evening his life was on the line. After that it went at top speed into the abyss.

Now he had howling this picture, with which his fate had been sealed, in the hands. Damn it, if only he had had the guts to come out earlier. He had actually been athletic in elementary school. And good at math. When on God's earth had it all turned around? The image began to change… His spongy features became more angular. The glazed look became a radiant smile. And the radical short haircut became a pink-dyed blow-dry. Yes, he could still remember the evening well. There had been report cards that day, and he had graduated at the top of his class. He had a scholarship for an elite boarding school in his pocket. And he was dating his first boyfriend at the time. Quite cliché, it was the barber in the settlement. Shit, he looked gay back then with the pink hair. But he was in love, and the two had fucked like rabbits. Since then, Gareth got a hard-on every time he went to the barbershop.

The lads were good lads. They were all a bit empty headed. He hardly kept in touch with any of them anymore. Kyle he had hired as a gardener and janitor at one point. Since then, they saw each other regularly at his country estate. And as far as Gareth could tell, Kyle had been clean and sober ever since. That had also been the night he had taken Vicky home. My God, the poor thing was completely drunk. She'd probably been given knockout drops, too. And either that night or just before, she had been knocked up. In any case, she was probably pregnant that night. His parents had taken Vicky in lovingly. Since he was going to boarding school soon, she had been given his room. When he was there on vacation, the two of them had shared the room. And when Jacob was born, his parents soon adopted him. Until then, Gareth had been an only child; on that fateful evening, he had been given an older sister and a younger brother.

Boarding school had been a tough time. He was the chav, everyone else was from a rich home. But he was hardworking, smart and ambitious. Soon he was captain of the rugby team. And his math teacher recognized his talent for software development. Gareth founded his first small startup while still at school. And when he exited four years later, he earned his first millions.

Gareth sat in the study of his townhouse in a side street of Marylebone High Street. Sweet that Victoria had sent him the picture from that evening. That was, in fact, almost 16 years ago now. But even though some circumstances were tragic, looking back, it was one of the best evenings of their lives ever for her, Jacob and him. Victoria was the best business partner he could have imagined. And Jacob had followed in his footsteps at his old school very successfully. At that moment, Ivo came to the door. Heck, his husband already knew how to keep him from working. The muscle stud had nothing on but an apron. And carried a silver tray with a leather gag in front of him. "Your lordship, it's time to call it a day," Ivo said in an overly stilted manner. Today Gareth would get the gag in his mouth.

[inkstainedheartbeats]

Part two of this because I couldn’t leave it alone.

The thing about being a Preternatural creature is that there is a society within a society. Instead of learning just one set of rules you have to learn two. And while Robin’s ears have always had a way with picking up language, her eyes did not bless her with the ability to pick up social cues. Despite this glaring weakness, even she knew what Steve Harrington was.

A Preter learns quick to make an in with the oldest living creature in a town. Learn the lay of the lands. And there is none older than Flo who works for the Police Department. The Buckley’s aren’t sure what she is. Just that she named the three, not one oh no, three Hunter clans. The Carver’s are the newest but they’re the most dangerous. Fanatical in their desire to put down a Preter at the slightest hint of mistake. The Hagan’s were the biggest clan, had the most members even if not all of them shared the same last name. The Harrington’s are the oldest. Used to be the biggest, the strongest. And then the youngest son was sent away for some reason and then the current eldest living of the family died and the clan just sorta… trickled out. Leaving Steve and his family.

Robin hadn’t meant to Change Steve. Hadn’t wanted to. Changing was dangerous work. There were hoops one needed to jump through. Consent to be given. Alphas to plead cases. But she had thought she was tied to a dead man. Her ears had been clogged, her nose smelling nothing but decay because of the Gate. Steve Harrington had tried to protect her, had protected her. And she thought he was dead. He wasn’t, not then. More torture, drugs that really fucked with the inner beast. Later she’ll praise the Moons. She’ll burn candles and leave gifts on any alter she can find.

Then there was confessions in the bathroom. Little oh’s and laughter. He hadn’t cared that she was gay. He hadn’t cared that she was a Wolf. Which is when the fleshy nightmare had to ruin everything. It’s a blur. Adrenaline, her mother would coo later. Both parents wrapped around her and a still shaking Steve. The need to protect the Pack. Billy dies. Little Red tries to bring him back but she’s too young, too muddled of blood to do it. They’re waiting for Joyce and Hopper to come back. Waiting for parents to come pick them up when it happens. When Steve goes down like a stack of bricks.

Hearing barely back hones in on the beating of a heart that might as well be her own. She hears it start to stop and reacts without thought. Because a life without Steve was not one she wanted. He was her and she was him. How she knew right then she doesn’t know. Doesn’t care to know. She just needs him like she needs her arms. So she bites him.

Wills the Change be quick and kind. It can be slow. It can be cruel. Rarer still it is both. She watches as his veins turn dark from the bite on his wrist. As they slowly ink and inch their way to his heart. Steve’s eyes are closed, blood pours from his nose, from his ears. He’s dying. The Change races Death and she can do nothing but watch.

Later, after he’s been scented by her parents, her brothers and sisters. Later when it’s just them in the nest he’ll tell her that the reason his parents are never home is because he hates killing. They took him on a Hunt once, out of town hoping that not knowing who he was putting down would help. He threw up, nearly shot his father instead. His mother hadn’t minded. Had kissed his cheek and said this wasn’t the life for everyone.

“He’ll kill me if he finds out. This will be a stain on his ego. Won’t care that it saved my life.”

“Good thing they never come back.”

“Yeah.”

He is her and she is him and Moons willing she’ll never have to know what the sound of his heart stopping sounds like.

[master-of-metal66]

I’m alive, finally I crawled out of my coffin. I have to catch up on tumblr 😅

Anyway, here we go with Xavier’s backstory. I’ll probably still work on some details, but generally that’s it, that’s my biker boy, how and why he landed in Santa Carla.

This became much longer (this one part have 5,361 words, let alone the rest) than I planned, so I split it into three parts and some random things about Marko and Xavier relationship. (Sorry for all mistakes I made. I’m not used to writing so long stuff and English isn’t my first language).  I think I made Marko a bit ooc here, let me know what you think 😖

Life on the outskirts of Tecate, one of the cities on the border between Mexico and United States sometimes wasn't easy, Xavier knew it from an early age.

Bullied by his peers, the illness of his younger sister, the loss of one of his siblings - it was a lot for a vulnerable and quiet kid like Xavier. But there was one thing that kept him together, his family has always been associated with one of the well-known motorcycle clubs in this area - the Westside Eagles.

Xavier joined the club at the age of fifteen, just like his father and brothers before him. He probably never would have done it had it not been for the death of his older brother Miquel in a shootout with a rival club. That was the hardest time in his life and had the biggest influence on him out of all his family. Back then his desire for revenge changed him from that quiet, soft kid to a cold, careless and irritable teen. While growing up, when he almost went to jail and through his entire path from prospect to full-patched club member, he saw a lot of similar and even worse situations in which people were put. He realized that revenge wouldn’t bring him relief, it only dragged him down, ruining his relationship with loved ones and the club. So he finally accepted it. 

Maybe that’s what shaped his character, the amount of experience opened his eyes. He returned to being the person he used to be, starting to prefer to solving problems with his mind rather than with unnecessary violence.

Westside Eagles was one of those ,,motorcycle clubs" that worked on the border, smuggling drugs and weapons mainly for the cartels, Xavier wasn’t always directly involved. He always had a hand in repairing things, especially cars and motorcycles. So it wasn't strange that he became a club mechanic. He enjoyed spending most of his time in peace in the car workshop on the premises of Eagles clubhouse.

That was until one time when he agreed to help his brothers - Diego and Felipe during one of the transfers. It probably saved his siblings’ lives at some point, but put him on the run because, as you might expect, not everything went well.

It was supposed to be some kind of ,,special" delivery ordered for the cartel, the Eagles usually worked for, that was supposed to be a quick job.

So it was… at first glance, entering the tunnel in an old slaughterhouse, overcoming the tunnel, it was easy. Problems began when Xavier, his brothers, and two other club members were already on the other side of the border wall. Tunnel exit was located in one of the warehouses on private property, owned by one of cartel’s associates. It was weird for the whole group that he wasn’t waiting for them as usual. Xavier was the one who discovered why. While men started to unloading crates with drugs, he went to the man's house next to the warehouse, where he found him shot, along with two other cartel members. It must have happened shortly before their arrival. Xavier knew that they were in serious trouble. He ran back, not knowing that someone was watching him.

When he returned to the warehouse and told the others about what he saw, Diego felt an impulse to open one of the crates. It was half empty. At the same moment, the whole group heard footsteps. Everything happened quickly when cops entered the building. Eagles immediately understood what had happened. Someone framed them, and the worst thing was that probably it was someone from their own club since no one on the outside knew where they kept the goods and when or where they entered the tunnel.

The shootout was inevitable, men were able to get rid of cops for now, but in the process Felipe and the prospect were shot. Xavier and Diego knew it wouldn’t end there, they heard more police sirens outside. Their only way out was to go back through the tunnel, there was no time to take the crates especially with two wounded. They had to get them out of there and get to Erasmo -the Westside Eagles president.

Return to Tecate was much longer. Now that the cops were aware of the tunnel they had to choose one of the less frequented branches of the main road. Xavier went through hell during their escape, not because of the cops chasing them and the threat of prison but because of bleeding Felipe. It reminded him of the sight of dying Miquel and he didn’t want to experience it again.

There was no time for a ,,trip’’ to the hospital, besides, they didn't need any unnecessary questions and thus further contact with the cops. As soon as they got out of the tunnel, Diego and Xavier collapsed the entrance to the tunnel giving themselves more time for escape. Although now that the police have found out about the crossings, they probably won't use them anymore.

Group returned to the clubhouse and to the only person who could help them at that moment. Ruben – a former military doctor - despite the late hour, immediately took care of Felipe and the prospect.

Xavier didn’t want to leave his brother, Felipe lost a lot of blood and there was a risk that he would need a transfusion. Xavier stayed with him, trying his best to help Ruben, while Diego and other Eagle went to Erasmo.

There was a fuss in the clubhouse, even though it was the middle of the night, clubhouse salon was boiling. Some of the club members have already heard about the whole action. Diego avoided any questions from his brothers and went straight to Erasmo. Behind the closed doors of the Westside Eagles meeting room, he told everything to the most important members of the club. The tunnel had been discovered, the goods had been seized by cops, they had a traitor in the club and in the worst case they would have DEA agents on their heads. Everyone knew it will be a tough time for the Eagles.

Meanwhile, Ruben finished dressing Felipe’s wound. Fortunately, there was no need for a transfusion, but both he and the prospect needed to rest. Xavier stayed for the rest of the night with his younger brother.

He wasn't happy when an upset Diego woke him up early in the morning a bit brutally throwing backpack at him, telling him that he had to run away. He wanted to argue but Diego forcibly dragged him out of the room, Xavier took one last look at the sleeping Felipe. He was in total shock when his brother explained to him as they ran towards the club's garages that the cartel already knows about the drug theft, they ordered to search the area of the clubhouse first, it was weird as if someone had given them the idea. The worst thing was that they found the missing part of the drugs... in Xavier’s flat above the workshop. Of course none of the club brothers believed Xavier could do it, especially Erasmo and Xavier's father. Xavier had no interest in stealing drugs, most of the time he wasn't even involved in the transfers. Besides, everyone knew that he wouldn't risk hurting anyone from his family in the process.

It was obvious to them, all this time someone’s target was Xavier and someone had framed him, but the cartel wasn't so understanding, especially considering the case of their dead members, that Xavier had found the night before.

Xavier had to run away if he didn't want to get a bullet, he was worried about Diego. It was obvious who helped him to escape, but his brother assured him that Erasmo already working on it. Diego promised him that as soon as something will clarified he would immediately contact him and also personally he will find that ,,rat" who caused all of this. Xavier had no choice but to leave the clubhouse. He have to lie low for some time, until his brother found out who was behind all of this, there wasn't much he could do with the cartel on his head. Thanks to the help of a good friend of the club, he managed to cross the border without being noticed. It was better to deal with the cops, if they were also looking for him, than with men of cartel. It so happened that this same friend had a small cabin in Santa Carla that he had bought for a vacation, but he didn't really use it, so Xavier took the opportunity. Shortly after arriving to town, he found a job in a auto repair shop. All he could do now was wait, if only he knew how his decisions would change his life.

Marko and Xavier met in a bit unusual way, soon after Mexican moved to Santa Carla.

The frequent disappearances in town must have finally attracted someone's attention, unfortunately for the Lost Boys, the attention of someone who will make their (un)lives miserable for the next few months. Because vampire hunters, especially the real ones (not some kids from a comic book store) with crossbows, tons of holy water and stakes can be a real pain in the ass.

Ever since they started showing up in town from time to time, David did his best to keep his pack safe. However, some of the rules he set for the time when hunters were hanging around town didn’t appeal much to the boys, especially Marko. Despite the fact that probably out of all pack, he had the worst luck at running across the hunters. He wasn’t happy with the idea of staying in a group all night. They spent enough time together, sometimes he had to have some time for himself. That night when Xavier and Marko’s paths crossed, the blonde vampire decided to leave Paul and hunt on his own. It wasn’t so hard to split up when his best friend blindly followed a small group of surfers they had been watching since they appeared on the boardwalk. One of them will become his meal, now Marko had to find something tasty for himself. He knew that if David found out he wouldn’t be pleased but well…curly-haired boy rarely followed the rules. It didn't take him long to notice a girl who was about to leave the boardwalk after saying goodbye to her friends. A mischievous smile appeared on his angel face. Hunger took over his body, and he didn’t even notice three pairs of eyes watching him from a distance.

Marko followed the girl for some time. That night he wasn't in the mood to play with his prey as usual. He just wanted to get back to the cave and continue working on the painting he started a few nights ago on one of the last walls of the cave free of his artworks. He hoped to get back before the rest to avoid David's complaints about paint spilled all over the place and to have more time before Caroline (my other oc – David’s mate) and Paul dragged him into some other activity, probably involving testing platinum blonde’s patience, not that he didn't like it.

The girl must have felt that someone was following her, she started to walk faster and looked over her shoulder from time to time. Marko giggled. As soon as the girl heard laughter behind her, she started to run, her choice of way was rather unfortunate. The girl strayed from the road into a more tree-lined one area in hope to lose her pursuer. Marko had her exactly where he wanted, soon they would reach the cliff. When the girl saw emptiness in front of her, she slowed down to enter a more open area, free from bushes and trees. She stopped, there was no escape route. She slowly turned around, but only silence greeted her. The only sounds were her loud breathing, sound of the wind and waves somewhere behind her. For a moment she thought she had done it, she had escaped from who whoever was chasing her. Or maybe it was just her imagination?

‘’Looking for someone?’’

The girl didn’t even have a chance to scream when Marko grabbed her and sank his teeth into her neck. She tried to struggle, but Marko's grip was too strong. She didn’t have a chance, loud sound of snapping neck was like music to Marko’s ears. Blonde vampire sighed contentedly as fresh blood reached his tongue, soon after, limp body fell to the ground. Marko licked his lips in satisfaction, that was what he needed. Getting rid of the body was easy, there was a reason he had drove the girl to this place. A loud splash and then the sound of waves crashing against the rocks, just like that, the end. Traces of blood will disappear. Marko smiled, wiping away the rest of the blood with his hand. He closed eyes and breathed refreshing sea breeze, it was one of those moments he felt kind of alive. But it didn't last long, his vampire senses warned him almost in last moment, he barely dodged an arrow that flew past by, disappearing somewhere below in the rough water. Marko turned around only to see someone he really hoped he wouldn't meet today. A man in a black jacket with cross pin with a crossbow aimed straight at blonde, vampire hissed. Hunter. In his eyes, a man or rather boy couldn't have been older than 19 years old. Good, it could have been worse. Young hunters weren't as dangerous as the more experienced ones. Blonde vampire smiled maliciously, poor thing, it will be quick.

Hunter shot again, but this time, if it wasn’t out of surprise, Marko easily caught an arrow right in front of his chest.

‘’Is that all what you’ve got?’’

Boy growled in irritation as he heard Marko’s laughter , he put away the crossbow and pulled out the stake. Seeing that, for a moment blonde vampire remind himself when he almost got staked by this little fucker from comic book shop, a shiver ran down his spine at the memory, but on the other hand his blood boiled, he saw red.

Everything happened quickly, in one moment hunter was about to strike, the next he was lying on the ground, pinned down by Marko. He didn’t stand a chance against raging vampire, his weapon brutally ripped from his hand, lying somewhere out of his reach. Young hunter screamed in pain as Marko clenched his hand on his shoulder, the sound of the collarbone cracking was delicious, blonde grabbed the boy by the throat, tightening his grip with each passing moment. He watched with vengeful satisfaction as the boy tried to catch his breath, out of the corner of his eye he saw the hunter reaches for a stone lying nearby. He swung, but Marko immediately grabbed his wrist, blonde chuckled, seeing pure terror in boy’s eyes, another scream pierced the silence of the night. He leaned forward, clenching his hand again over the broken wrist bone, the boy underneath him sobbed. He knew what was coming when Marko's fangs gleamed in the moonlight. Blonde smiled, he wasn’t expecting another snack that night.

He was about to sink his teeth into the boy's neck when a sharp pain shot through his arm, this time arrow reached its target. Marko hissed as two men ran out of the trees. Another hunters, but much more older than the one who had just passed out, lying limply beneath him. Marko stood up quickly to avoid silver knife aimed at him, the blade cut the air. Vampire cursed when he saw dagger-shaped medallions on hunters' necks.  They won't be so easy to defeat, but he didn’t want to call his brothers, he could handle it on his own. Adrenaline was flowing through his veins, he had to think about how to get rid of the hunters, separate them somehow to finish them off one by one. Marko reached for the arrow, which was stuck slightly below his shoulder, he grimaced as he grabbed the tip and pulled it out. A faint trickle of blood ran down his arm, he was lucky the tip wasn't made of silver like sometimes. The wound would be much worse to heal and it wouldn’t be easy to remove. Blonde growled in irritation as one of the hunters attacked him again while, the other knelt, checking at boy lying on the ground. He easily avoided the blow, kicking hunter in the back of the knee, sending him to the ground. However, the man quickly turned around and took a swing, silver blade missed Marko's leg by a centimeter. The second hunter joined the fight, trying to put Marko in a choke hold with his crossbow. They struggled for a while as Marko tried to break free, finally grabbed hunter by the forearms and almost without an effort threw him at his companion. Men fell to the ground with loud thud, cursing heavily. Marko smiled, came up with an idea how to get rid of hunters, once and for all.  He watched how they get up, making sure they could see the direction he would go, he ran through the trees.

Soon he found himself at an old, abandoned summer house near the cliffs, he stopped at the door and looked around. Men were after him, he heard their footsteps. Blonde was about to move when suddenly he heard the door creak. He didn't have time to react when he felt someone grab his waist and cover his mouth with a hand, pulling him into ,,abandoned'' cabin. At first he was sure that he had been captured by one of the hunters he didn't noticed, he tried to break free. Marko was about to bite his attacker's hand but a loud whisper stopped him ‘’Stop it, I won't hurt you. Be quiet or they will find us. '' Hearing this, Marko felt probably weird in this kind of situation, sense of safety. When person behind him felt that he had stopped struggling, the grip on his waist disappeared as did the hand covering his mouth. In the darkness of the room, he clearly saw a tall, long-haired man who quietly closed the door, turning the key in the lock almost at the last moment. Hunters came out from behind the trees, right in front of the house. Marko and the stranger watched through the half-covered window as the men walked around the cabin, checking the area. One of them went to the door, trying to open it, while the other to the window looking inside, Marko felt the man behind him grab his forearm and pull him back to the place where they couldn't be seen from the window. Blonde vampire tensed when the door handle suddenly stopped moving, he was sure that hunters wouldn’t give up so easily. Outside however, there was silence, until blonde heard their voices, Marko, despite the silent protest of the unknown man, went to the window, peeked outside. The hunters were still standing in front of the cabin, but in the hand of one of them there was two-way radio.

Men were talking, Marko clearly saw furious grimace on the face of one of them, he wasn't quite happy about conversation with the person on the other side of device. It didn't take long when the hunters withdrew. They ran back to the place where the young hunter, or rather his body, remained.

‘’That was close amigo.’’

Marko turned around, man was already standing behind him, looking in the direction where the hunters had disappeared. Vampire frowned dissatisfied.

‘’ I could handle it myself.’’

Man didn’t respond to this, so blonde looked out the window again, they both stayed like that, waiting. Hunters could return, but after a long time nothing has happened. Blonde vampire watched in the dark as the man walked over to the switch, turning on the light, illuminating the room. A tall, black-haired man with a slightly darker skin tone, watched him with curiosity. Marko saw fragments of tattoos stick out from under his black shirt and blue worn out vest. Blonde smirked.

‘’ Like what you see, ragazzone?’’

Curly-haired vampire smiled wider seeing the shock and then flustered expression on the man's face, he looked away but his gaze fell on Marko’s arm, he quickly became serious.

‘’ You’re hurt.’’

Marko raised his eyebrows, also looking at the same place where the hunters’ arrow had been stuck earlier. The bleeding stopped, but it still didn’t look good, he knew one nap was enough to heal. As for his jacket, sewing will take a moment. Fucking hunters, ruined his artwork. 

‘’ I am fine, I've had worse.’’

Man didn't seem convinced, Marko was ready for tons of questions but they didn’t come. Good for curly-haired vampire at that point, Xavier been through enough shit in his life, that he knew sometimes it’s better not to ask. He was supposed to be hiding here, not right at the beginning, being involved in something he didn't even want to know what it  was about. When he saw that men chasing blonde, as he was returning to from work his ,,new home’’, he felt this intense impulse to help him, some kind of strange attraction. Like a moth to the flame. There was one thing that still bothered him, did he really saw crossbows on men's backs?

‘’ Something needs to be done about it, wait here.’’

Marko doesn’t even get a chance to protest when black-haired man disappears behind bathroom door. That was the first time when Marko felt it. That tempting scent floating in the air, overwhelming. It was weird, he had never experienced anything like this earlier. But before he began to think about it more, man came back holding bandage and little bottle, placing them on the table by the window.

"Take off your jacket.’’

Marko smiled, man looked at him questioningly.

‘’ We haven’t been on a first date and you already want me to undress?’’

Black-haired certainly didn't expect such a question, he blinked in surprise. Marko giggled but granted his request. Man looks at his uncovered stomach for a moment, then shook his head and started dress the wound. The only strange thing was that the wound, despite its serious appearance, didn’t bleed too much and why it looked as if something had pierced blonde's arm. Marko looked around the cabin, couple half-unpacked bags was thrown next to the wardrobe, a small box by the bed, a leather jacket thrown carelessly on the chair, a few empty food boxes on the second table. Out of the corner of his eye, the man saw a curious look on Marko's face.

‘’ Yeah, well… I just moved here, I am Xavier’’

Blonde turned his head, watching Xavier wrap his arm in a bandage, it was a strange feeling of being cared in that way, in human way. As vampire he just need sleep to regenerate, no other special treatment.

‘’Marko’’

Black-haired glanced at him and nodded.

‘’ You often act as a nurse?’’

Xavier smiled a bit awkwardly at this term.

‘’ Sometimes. For my younger brother, day without hurting himself is a day wasted. Even though he is already an adult. Done.‘’

Marko looked at his now bandaged arm, not that he really needed it. Xavier went to put down the bandage away while blonde put his jacket back on. Curly-haired vampire got lost in thoughts for a moment, why was Xavier helping him at all and why didn't he ask any questions? Moreover, according to him, hunters gave up too quickly, Marko knew how stubborn they could be when they tracked down a vampire. Was Xavier one of them, just pretending be nice? Normally he could sense something is wrong, but now he felt nothing besides calm. It was strange, of course, he could have tried David's method. Just got into Xavier’s mind, but somehow he didn’t want to. The biggest surprise for him was that he didn’t think, even for a minute to about killing Xavier. He was just another human being in his life, nothing just another potential meal, then why did the thought about that make him really uncomfortable?

‘’ Hey, earth to Marko? You good manito?’’

Xavier went back to room, he had only known Marko for a moment and he could already see that this thoughtful expression didn’t suit him. He was sure that boy had really ,,interesting’’ personality, despite that lovely curls and angel face, he saw that mischievous spark in his eyes. Blonde looked at him and nodded, his face lighten up back to normal state.

‘’ Well…it's quite late and I’m convinced that there aren’t too many houses nearby. Drop you off somewhere?’’

Marko looked at clock on the wall, there wasn’t much time left until dawn. He had to go back and find Paul, his friend has probably already fed and found some entertainment for himself.

‘’ Boardwalk will be fine.’’

Xavier raised an eyebrow, but walked over to a small cabinet by the door, reaching for the keys.

‘’ Let’s go then.’’

They both left the house, Xavier made sure he closed the door properly and went down the stairs, Marko followed him to the back of the house. There were two things, both hidden under gray tilt, Marko was sure there was a car under one of them but under the other? Xavier grabbed the material and pulled it off, curly-haired vampire didn’t expect a motorcycle, a black Harley Davidson.

‘’ Big bike for a big man, huh?’’

Xavier laugh slightly, he shook his head, grabbing the wheel.

‘’ I grew up on them.’’

Blonde noticed a certain nostalgia and some kind of longing in the man's voice, he wanted to ask about it, but Xavier had already got on the motorcycle. The roar of the engine drowned out the silence of the night, Marko smiled widely as he came closer. He’d never gotten on a machine like that, according to his vampire lifestyle he had to have something more agile. His bike was a bit smaller, this thing was big and surely not as easy to drive as his own. Marko slid into the leather seat just behind Xavier, wrapping arms around his waist. Black-haired was probably not used to have a company, Marko smirked as he felt how man tense for a moment. Xavier looked at him over his shoulder, making sure he was sitting comfortably, the motorcycle moved.

The ride ended sooner than Marko could have wanted, Xavier stopped his bike near to boardwalk entrance. Neon sign illuminated them with red and white light. The place wasn't as crowded as it was when Marko left.

‘’Are you sure you don’t want me to take you to your home?’’

Marko shook his head, dismounting from the motorcycle. If he took Xavier to the cave, man would probably never come out again and to be honest blonde didn’t wanted that. He still had to figure out where this strange feeling in Xavier's presence was coming from.

‘’ I have to find my friend. I am 100% sure he’s still hanging around here somewhere, besides I have my own bike. Are you worried about me, bello?’’

Xavier lowered his head, a little ashamed. Marko saw that glimpse of blush on his cheeks. If one simple word did this to Xavier, how would he react to the higher level of his flirting. Marko would be lying if he didn't want to see it.

‘’ I just…I doubt these men was your friends and I'd rather not bandage you again anytime soon.’’

Blonde laughed internally, if only he knew.

‘’ I assure you that if I meet them again, they will need a bandage. ‘’

‘’Or rather coffins’’ thought Marko

‘’ I guess I can't stop you from doing that, now I’m sure we’re both tired and need some rest.’’

Motorcycle engine came to life again, Xavier smiled.

‘’ Take care of yourself, amigo.’’

Marko nodded, smiled back. He stayed in place for a moment, watching the motorcycle disappear into darkness of the night.

Curly-haired blonde didn’t tell his brothers what happened. He knew that David would be furious if he find out that he had disobeyed him, Marko wasn't in the mood to listen to complaints. Anyway he was 100% sure that Paul kept his mouth shut, that they split up, otherwise bleached blonde would immediately expressed his dissatisfaction.

When Marko returned to the cave, he felt again that weird feeling he had experienced earlier that night. But now it was some kind of longing.  Marko shook his head as he returned to his thoughts from Xavier's cabin. After all, he decided to be careful towards him, for now trying to drown out that voice calling him back.

Before Caroline or Paul noticed, he managed to sneak to his nest in the higher parts of the cave. He wanted to sew up his jacket, but before he could begin, his gaze paused for a moment on the bandage. An involuntary smile appeared on his lips.

David, Dwayne, Paul and Caroline saw that Marko was thinking intensely about something, but none of them asked what it was about. It could have been something from Marko's pigeons to which one of surf nazis pissed Marko off enough to be on the missing poster next night. They were convinced that if something serious happened to Marko, he would definitely share it with them…

Marko and Xavier met again two days later on a boardwalk.

Marko was just chilling with Paul near the Arcades after feeding, looking for some entertainment for the rest of the night. Just then, Marko spotted Xavier entering one of the small boardwalk shops. That feeling came again, leading him to the same store. This time, he didn't even try to fight it, leaving Paul again. His friend didn’t even notice, flirting with some girl. Xavier almost jumped out of his skin when Marko suddenly appeared behind him, but he had to admit he was glad to see blonde again. He had been thinking about curly-haired boy before, he was curious. He heard Marko’s Italian accent and wanted to know more about him. Luckily for Xavier, blonde vampire after two nights of trying to reject his feelings, gave up. He asked Xavier if he wanted to hang out together, biker agreed. Marko showed Xavier around Santa Carla, he didn't even notice when it was almost down and they spent whole night together.

He was surprised how well they got along, despite the visible differences between their personalities, as if they complemented each other. Xavier told him a bit about himself, however Marko saw that the Mexican was hiding something. Blonde knew he would eventually find out what was going on, it was only a matter of time. The only thorn in the night was when Xavier asked Marko about his wound. It’s was nice that he cared but how was Marko supposed to tell him that there wasn't even a trace left from the shot? He was glad he sewn up the cut in his jacket before he went to rest, so Xavier couldn't see his arm. Marko just mumbled something like ‘’It’s fine’’, man looked at him unconvinced but he didn’t ask about it again.

Soon after Xavier drove away, back to his cabin, on his way to find Paul, Marko still thought about black-haired Mexican who refused to leave his thoughts, making himself in his mind like at home with every next second. Blonde vampire just couldn't get those honey-colored eyes out of his head.

And then Marko suddenly stopped. The realization hit him hard, at that moment he understand this warm feeling that had accompanied him since they met, probably the same feeling that David had experienced when he met Caroline. Marko never thought about it, never believed he’d get one. That was it, he found his mate.

[11cleyvaart]

Augustin headcanons, 2015 please?😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

This is the same as the 2015 Quimby one. It'd be it's own timeline and whole world. To me I'd like to think just completely different people.

They'd be born around the 1968 time frame giving them age when the 2015 show happens.

Also I just love to make my little creatures suffer like a Sims game. So Augustin here will have drug use problems. He loves his lean as Gadget.

Augustin Tamare was born into a Jewish household from parents who had left Europe, he and his sister were born and raised in their new country. Coming from the Hungarian and Austria border. 

He's older than his sister, Leilha. 

As a small boy at ten, he was given transhumeral amputation to stop the growth of cancer in his arm. He's lived his life with one arm, his parents could never afford a prosthetic but he didn't feel any less than himself. 

Yet with the loss of his arm, he was judged by the other kids at his school and seen as inferior by the teachers, so he was separated from the others. Leading to difficulty later in life to make friends. 

He mostly spent time with his little sister who was also his only friend. Which would hit harder when she left to marry leaving an empty hole in his life. 

He was raised in a Hebrew family, his parents being unashamed of their religion would display a mezuzah outside their home. Something he would continue to do as an adult but forgot his religion the longer he became Gadget. 

He wished to be a police officer even with his disability, his parents discouraged his dream opting to do something less dangerous. Hoping he'd change his mind once he reached 18, but he didn't change his mind. 

He tried three times to get a job in the department but was denied each time due to his lack of arm, yet he was able to do everything with one. It wasn't until he was given a chance to prove himself physically did he get the job. Claiming he could take down a person with one arm, which he proved as he had strength in his left arm. 

During this time, he gained glances from another at the station. Frank Quimby would often glance at him in ways that Augustin was unable to understand. Augustin had no intention or feelings for the attraction of others. He simply was dedicated to his job once he gained it. 

But he began a friendship with Quimby, he was confused at first by Quimby saying he was a man but had the shape and body of the opposite. But saw nothing different in it once he was told by Quimby what he was. Augustin began to feel a deep connection grow between them from that point on. He still was confused what transgender meant but it didn't stop his connection with Frank.

Once Quimby became chief inspector, did Augustin make it into the detective sector. He gained it through his hard work but also strings pulled by Quimby who wanted to give the man his dream. 

Augustin also began a small addiction to cough medicine, which led to him getting high on the codeine. He knew he was wrong but he couldn't stop it. It was something he had to hide from everyone. It grew into a larger problem but he tried to stop.

Soon after this, Augustin begins a relationship with Quimby. Starting off as friends who then began a deep connection with one another turning into a romantic relationship. Yet they never took their relationship to a sexual one. Both men were unsure on how to go about it, Augustin mainly because he didn't want to pressure Quimby but as well he didn't want to ruin their relationship. 

By the mid 90’s did they begin to explore each other in ways. Augustin found he loved it only with Quimby and Frank found he was comfortable with the idea of sex. Each man took it slow but hadn't fully reached the level of taking it far just yet. 

1999, Augustin asked Frank to marry him, he wanted to show Quimby that he loved him for everything he was. To which they did marry after work one day on a spur of the moment idea, just a quick courthouse wedding. Frank would keep his last name to not make it obvious that the head boss married the man he helped gain job titles. 

They lived in a small apartment together and would take their relationship to the next level by becoming sexually intimate and having their first time. Frank would begin HRT which Augustin supported by 2000.

In 2001, Penny was born, making Augustin her uncle. He had a strained relationship with his once close sister after she had married and closed herself off to him. 

By 2003, did Frank and Augustin have a scare with pregnancy. Augustin found that Quimby was with child, leading them to deal with the possibility of a child when they weren't wanting one. They lost the child not too after finding out, putting a great deal of guilt on Augustin. 

Gaining him to turn to his addiction again of codeine, both men began dealing with stress. Only when Frank was diagnosed with bipolar 2 did Augustin try to curb his opiate addiction to codeine. Getting clean the best he could for Quimby who needed him more than ever. 

By 2005 did Augustin and Frank gain guardianship of Penny. Her parents had left her in their care , eventually turning her over to them. Which made the two have to find ways to care for a small child in their hectic lives. 

2006 did Augustin have a large car wreck that would lead to him being in a coma. He was unable to function without the need of machines. Frank never got to speak with him again after this. 

Quimby had placed Augustin on the volunteer list of the Gadget project that was in the works. Quimby didn't want to lose the man he married. 

Augustin had died at 38, but his brain was able to be transplanted into a cybernetic body. Yet the damage of the accident had ruined his frontal lobe along with the lack of oxygen had destroyed some pathways in his brain. 

As Gadget the frontal lobe damage had caused memory loss, personality change and attention span. He still could recognise Quimby as someone he loved but it was confusing at times for him. 

His brain had difficulty adjusting to the new body and the use of both arms, the Gadget project had to be halted to install the help of artificial intelligence into Augustin. Which would make for more loss of the man before. 

Quimby tried his best to help Gadget remember their lives together. It was difficult to bring back what they had, at times a glimpse of Augustin would come out of the cyborg leading to their lives being back to what it was. But these moments were short lived. 

I probably spelt some words wrong and forgot things but it's not like anyone cares at this point. I'm too far gone on 2015 that people have stop giving a shit.

[ofdylan]

[ lily collins, cis woman, she/her ] — whoa! DYLAN METCALFE just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for MOST OF HER LIFE, working as a FICTION WRITER. that can’t be easy, especially at only 34 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit CYNICAL and HOTHEADED , but i know them to be TRUSTWORTHY and PROTECTIVE. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to MANHATTAN!

Hellooo my lovelies! I'm Lola and it has been a very hot second since I've rp'd, so please bear with me as I settle back in. Below the read more you'll find some backstory and information on Dylan, as well as some wc/plot ideas. Please don't hesitate to reach out via dm and I am so beyond excited 💜

tw: parental death, drugs, alcohol, overdose

Name: Dylan Rose Metcalfe Age: 34 Pronouns: She/her Birthday: October 5th 1989 Job: Fiction writer Romantic/sexual orientation: Biromantic/bisexual

Past.

As the second eldest daughter of the Metcalfe family, Dylan always believed that she was destined for greatness, even if it wasn't exactly the same as her father's. While her father dreamed of someone continuing his legacy, she always had a penchant for writing.

When she was 10 and her father suddenly died, Dylan watched as her mom fell apart. She became a ghost of the woman she once was—losing herself in drinking away her grief. It was then that Dylan decided to never let herself fall in love.

Even though she wasn't going to take over the family business, Dylan and her father were close—much more than she was with her mom. His loss didn't just ruin Dylan's belief in love, but also her self-control and hope for the future. As a result, she began partying at a young age—getting drunk or high as young as 13. She didn't see the point in trying to be good without her dad—and if it wouldn't amount to anything.

One night when she was 16, she took things too far and was arrested. Her mom easily made it all go away, and it only proved to Dylan that being anything else but a spoiled party girl was pointless.

After her best friend and her overdosed in one night, she realized if she didn't start caring about something she would die. The wake up call of sorts didn't completely root out her cynicism, but it did convince her to start trying to be a better person. She devoted herself to being there for her younger brother and older sister, and even did her best to help out her mom when things were the worst for her.

She decided against going to college—mostly because she barely graduated high school. Instead, she backpacked around Europe, deciding to work whatever weird jobs came her way and embrace meeting new people.

But she still didn't have a purpose until she started working on her first novel. When it was published and received star reviews, she realized there was something meaningful in this world. In the end, her writing saved her life.

Present.

After traveling around for years, she decided to settle back in NYC when she was 27. She likes being back "home" and enjoys the never-ending pulse of the city. It helps ease her worries about the future and the regrets of her past.

She doesn't think there's anything missing from her life. Well, at least, that's what she tells herself. She lives in denial about how lonely she is, and how much she still misses her father and dreams about a different life where he never died.

Her wild days of her youth might be mostly behind her, but her nature still leans towards her penchant for chaos. She doesn't mean to, but she has caused more than a few scandals in her time in NYC—both as a teenager and now as an adult.

The relationship she has with her writing is still the longest one she's ever had. Most of the time she focuses on one night stands and does everything in her power to protect her heart. But her work always comes first, sometimes to her detriment, but also to her success.

WC.

A friend from her childhood she's still close with. While Dylan was careless with herself when she was younger, she was never one to hurt her friends. Her trust is hard to earn, but once someone has it, they have it for life.

The ex-best friend who she overdosed with. This is someone who Dylan was inseparable with, but after the night they both could've died, their friendship fell apart. Dylan still carries guilt for what happened, and wishes she could fix it somehow, but has no idea if that's possible.

The almost high school love. Dylan likes to believe that she's never let herself fall in love, but the truth might be far more complicated than that.

Enemies/rivals/etc. Dylan is competitive and definitely has one hell of a temper, so there's a high likelihood she's made some enemies/rivals who she's pissed off more than once.

Honestly I'm down for almost anything and also love plotting based on chemistry, so keep these kind of short 💜💜

[altschmerzes]

if anyone has cats they would like to send me pics of i would appreciate that a lot i am having a very very fucking weird one right now and don’t really know what to do with myself.

the short version is: my dad died today. the long version is..... probably an absolutely ridiculous overshare but. like i said. don’t know what to do with myself so i’m just. idk im talking out loud i guess, putting this Somewhere. it’s. heavy, sorry.

so the post i made recently celebrating seven years going no-contact with my abusive father who kind of ruined my life in a lot of really serious ways i am likely never really going to completely recover from? yeah. he had a stroke earlier this year that sounded like it was pretty serious and that was a lot to process and then i just got the call from my mom that he had a heart attack while fishing with a friend this afternoon and died. apparently it was fast, which is good. he was fifty-five and i guess he’d just hit two years sober.

my mom sounded really upset on the phone, and i guess she’d only found out less than ten minutes before she called me, she just told my sister, who lives with her, and my sister went off to take a shower (read: have a breakdown in the shower), and then called me immediately and said “your dad died” as soon as i answered with a hey, what’s up. they’d been divorced for twenty years and he was a fucking bastard but i guess your ex-husband and your kids’ dad who you’ve recently been reconnecting with and spending time with again dies and you’re probably gonna have some strong feelings about it. my sister is in pieces, they’d reconnected and were spending a lot more time together. in their text they said ‘i barely got any time with him and i’m fucking heartbroken’.

and because he has no other living relatives my 23 year old sister who is uh, in a fragile state on the best of days, is gonna have to deal with all of the paperwork and shit that happens when someone dies. and my sister and i’s relationship is like.... it’s complicated, to put it politely, they are very hard for me to be around for a lot of reasons, but i wouldn’t wish that on them and i wish i was able to take on that stuff if only because i’m almost through law school and i’m the least emotionally invested in the man and it just would be easier for everyone if i did the paperwork and whatever.

and then there’s my brother, because i have a brother, who i barely talk about because it hurts to think about him. he’s nine years older than me and he’s my half-brother by my dad and after my dad went to prison on drug charges i didn’t see him for thirteen years. and then a long time after a brief visit too. he’s got two kids now, and for a while there we were in sporadic contact, but i haven’t seen or heard from him since i was maybe nineteen. and my mom was just kind of rambling on the phone about how she had to find my brother’s mother’s contact information because someone had to tell him and because i’m all the way out here and i can’t DO anything else i told her i’d find her and tell her what happened and get everyone’s contact information for whatever’s coming next so. now i’ve texted my brother, who is a living wound in my life, for the first time in like six years. he hasn’t answered yet and according to his mother he’s ‘devastated.’ so.

i’m not. i’m not devastated. i don’t know what i feel honestly. once i tracked her down on facebook and dealt with all of that i just sort of sat at the kitchen table and stared at the wall for a long time. listened to the mountain goats song ‘pale green things’ and drifted in a weird numb void. i’m not.... sad. not about him anyway. i don’t know what i am. i have a very difficult time articulating my feelings on a good day, fuck i mean i have a hard time identifying my feelings on a good day. some combination of autism and cptsd and the sense that if i have feelings someone is going to die, maybe me, maybe someone else. if i have feelings, i get someone killed, is the thought process, which is a long story but. is extremely hard to work around, especially when i don’t see the point because taking active steps to make my feelings known and make them something someone else has to deal with is like. what’s the point. why do that.

so i don’t know what i feel. i feel strange and distant and not-sad and kind of angry at my sister and brother for some fucking reason and guilty and resentful and relieved. there’s some relief in there i think, because it’s like. i don’t know. i had the thought earlier, ‘oh thank gd’ which is. it sounds heinous but i now i’ll never have to choose between attending my sister’s wedding and not having to see him there, if i go back to my hometown and feel like there’s a monster stalking me from the shadows i can just tell myself the fucking monster’s fucking dead and he can’t ever hurt me again. nobody in my family is ever going to be able to pressure me to just talk to him already, just move on and let it go. reconcile, forgive, get past it.

(i don’t know how much any of them know. i have never discussed this with my parents or my sister and i never plan to. we’ve talked about some things in vague euphemisms and talked around it even more. when he got out of prison and then when he was done stalking us which he did for a while and got some help i guess and was doing a bit better my sister wanted to reconnect with him and i didn’t. i had panic attacks, i was terrified, i didn’t want anything to do with him and i didn’t want my sister anywhere near him and i remember all my mom had to say to me about that was ‘if it makes you feel any better, i could take him.’ i don’t know what to... i just don’t know.)

i dunno. i don’t know. when i visited my hometown and stayed at my parents’ house (my grandmother’s house, when i say ‘parents’ i mean her and my mom generally) i slept with a knife on my bedside table and a plan of how to get out the window because i’d heard that he’d started dropping by sometimes and i was too scared to sleep otherwise. he terrorized me. i have very few memories from before he went to prison and most of them are of being terrified for my life. of being chased through the house, staying above the garage because for some reason we couldn’t be in the house that night. sexual abuse that i can still barely handle thinking about. he haunts my nightmares regularly, even though i haven’t seen or spoken to him in seven years, didn’t see or talk to him very often before that. i have panic attacks in my sleep dreaming about him, enough that i have to be medicated for it.

he’s a person who was deeply troubled and sick and suffered unimaginably in his life and it’s just.... i know all of that and i just. i don’t know. i hope he’s at peace i guess. i know he never was when he was alive. i know i’m not at peace most of the time, largely because of the shit he did to me. i don’t know. i don’t know. my dad’s dead.

[shadow211e]

GT: 271

Your older brother had been out of touch with things lately, you found out from your parents arguing that he had recently dropped out of college, and his girlfriend of 4 years had broken up with him. She was worried about him too but couldn't seem to get through to him. You had to figure out why he seemed to be throwing his life away, not that he wasn't getting his bills paid and he was talking about moving out and getting a new car, but how was he doing it.

You decided to follow him one night, you were trying to keep up with him, but he disappeared, and you lost him. The next night he stayed home. The day after that he said he was going out, so you left an air tag in his car. You were able to track him to a very expensive hotel in the city. You parked and went to the lobby and saw him checking in, you went to the counter and the nice guy was there standing. "Please can you tell me where my brother is going?"

"I'm sorry miss, guests are given the utmost respect and privacy while staying here."

"Please, I am really worried about him, and I just want to know he is ok."

The man looked at you and took pity, "he went to suite 1401, it's ... oh it's Miss Delphi's suite."

"Who is that?"

"Oh umm, no one, take my advice, if your brother is going there, you don't want to unless you are invited, she will ruin your life if you go."

"I have to take that chance."

You headed upstairs, the room's door was open, and you started to walk in. "Hello?"

You heard a soft seductive laugh, you walked farther into the room more, and saw an older man tied up on some big X in the middle of the room. "Welcome shorty," you heard the soft voice say, you turn to see the blonde walking in.

"Miss Delphi?"

"The one and the only, welcome to my parlor."

"Said the spider to the fly," you finished.

"So bright so cunning, my sweet sister is always perfect."

Her words stunned you; you didn't have any sisters so why would she have said that? "How?" was all you managed to get out of your mouth before she hit you with her riding crop.

"Domin-X" she said.

Your eyes opened wide, Domin-X was a drug, rumored to turn girls into dominatrixes, but the other rumor would be that it could turn guys into girls as well. "Steve?"

She licked her lips and grinned and hit you again with her crop "such a bright girl, too bad you have walked into my suite, my base of power, and you have already fallen into my grasp, now get on your knees and learn to obey, why don't you go suck him off, he has been a good boy and needs a treat."

You couldn't help yourself, dropping to the floor, the drug's effects were soaked all around the room and were affecting you strongly, and you were unable to disobey her dominate commands.