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heavyhitterheaux · 1 year

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Would You Love Me If.....

First Lady of Private Garden Blurb

AN: These two lmaoooo

Synopsis: You ask Jack if he would still love you if you were a worm

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

First Lady of Private Garden Masterlist

It was around 2 in the morning and your husband was sound asleep while you were wide awake scrolling through your phone. You didn't know why you were having so much trouble falling asleep and knew that you would regret it later.

When this happened, usually Urban would still be awake so you would go and bother him but when you peeked into his room he was also knocked out cold.

Then your mind suddenly decided to run rampant with your thoughts which was the last thing you needed.

You turned over to look at Jack and called out to him since you had been facing away from him as he had his arm wrapped around you.

"Baby?" You said as you poked his cheek.

Silence.

"Smush?" Now you booped his nose.

Silence.

"Pookie?" You started playing with his beard and could see him moving indicating that he was finally awake.

Jack didn't open his eyes to look at you, but he did hear you and immediately answered,

"Yes, baby? Something wrong?"

"Would you still love me if I was a worm?"

It took Jack a few seconds for his mind to register what you had just asked him, but when it did, he opened his eyes to look at you.

"Ba.... what?"

"Would you still love me if I was a worm? I need to know." You asked again and Jack was just looking at you like you were crazy.

"You woke me up at 2 in the morning to ask me that?"

"Yes, because I couldn't sleep. This is very important and I'm going to need for you to take this seriously. Urban is sleeping so I'll ask him later when he wakes up."

"You better not ask him that dumb ass shit and you shouldn't have even asked me! How the hell could I have married you if you were a worm? Explain that."

"Oh, so your answer is no."

"Baby, I didn't say that. I just needed clarification because WHAT?"

"You don't love me."

"For the billionth time, WE ARE MARRIED."

"That doesn't mean anything!" You said as you were now straddling Jack as he was now laying on his back and you were pouting.

"What the? SERIOUSLY?" Jack said while rubbing his eyes before running a hand through his hair.

"I'm kicking you out. Go life with Druski since he's your life partner." You responded while rolling your eyes.

"Baby, are you seriously upset over this?"

You stayed quiet and Jack noticed your lip start to quiver.

"Oh hell no, don't tell me you're about to cry. Babe! Is your period coming because that is literally the only time you ask me outta pocket shit all times of the night and then cry when you don't get the answer you want."

"Maybe it is, but I just find it funny how I would love you if you were a worm, but I don't get that same treatment in return!"

"Baby girl, I will love you in this lifetime and all of the other ones after that, now please go to sleep."

"I am having a crisis and my husband is not supporting me through it."

"WHAT CRISIS?"

"Just go back to sleep. Dua and Clay wouldn't treat me like this." You said while attempting to swing your leg back over, but Jack immediately stopped you.

"They would probably look at you the same way that I'm looking at you now. But baby please go to sleep because I already know what this is."

"Fine." You said as you plopped down face first onto his chest.

It was 10 in the morning when you had woken up to an empty bed. You figured Jack was somewhere with Urban, but you were definitely going to ask Urban the same question when you saw him.

You went to the bathroom to see that Jack knew exactly what he was talking about.

Your period had started.

No wonder why you were crying so much.

This happened every damn month and still surprised you.

Once you had taken a shower and put on comfy clothes, you walked back out into the bedroom from the walk-in closet to see Jack coming in carrying a basket.

"Ooohh, what's this, pookie?" You asked as he leaned down to kiss you before showing you what was in it.

"Here my little worm. All your favorite snacks, painkillers, heating pad, tampons, the works. And you get ultimate cuddles from me. I looked at the date and it's the 7th so I already knew so I woke up early and got prepared."

He set the basket down on the bed and sure enough your eyes started to water.

"YOU CALLED ME YOUR LITTLE WORM! I KNEW YOU WOULD STILL LOVE ME IF THAT HAPPENED."

"You make it hard not to since you're so cute. Now go ahead and pull up Titanic."

"I have to put it in the group chat that you would still love me if I was a worm. Big husband energy."

"Don't push it. PG will never let me live that down."

Not even three seconds later, you heard Urban yelling down the hallway.

"Y/N! STOP ASKING ME WOULD I STILL LOVE YOU IF YOU WERE A WORM!"

"I NEED TO KNOW FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES!"

"JACK, GET YOUR WIFE."

"HE SAID THAT HE WOULD LOVE ME IF I WAS A WORM!"

"BECAUSE HE'S A SIMP!"

All Jack did was sigh and shake his head.

"Just three days, just three days." He muttered to himself.

FL Blurbs Taglist

@cmalass

@a-moment-captured

@alinaharlow

@neon-lights-and-glitter

@harlowcomehome

#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fanfiction #jack harlow x you #jack harlow blurb #jack harlow concept #first lady of pg

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yasmijn · 10 months

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A cold take on Past Lives (2023)

Aku nggak terlalu tahu sih apa yang aku harapkan dari film ini, tapi kayaknya setelah baca review orang-orang yang sangat positif aku mengharapkan lebih banyak perasaan dari Past Lives. Filmnya bukan yang biasa juga sih... bagus lah, tapi nggak sebagus itu. No tears, no pang in my heart, no strong aftertaste. Kayaknya w mencerna plot dengan terlalu rasional aja jadi buatku kisah Nora dan Haesung itu terlalu romanticized.

Sorry for those who think that film is a masterpiece, we just have to agree to disagree. If you still plan on watching the movie on your own and you hate spoilers, here's your cue to scroll past this post.

Ok here goes. Jadi cerita ini bermula di tahun 2000-an dimana Nora (waktu itu masih di Korea Selatan jadi masih pake nama Korea-nya: Nayoung), dan Haesung, sepasang anak berumur 12 tahun yang saling suka, harus terpisah benua karena keluarga Nora imigrasi ke Kanada. Mereka hilang kontak sampai akhirnya 12 tahun kemudian ketika umur mereka pertengahan 20, Nora mengirimkan pesan Facebook ke Haesung, dan mereka mulai rajin chat, ganti-gantian begadang demi bisa Skype di awal dan akhir hari. Sampai akhirnya Nora bilang ke Haesung bahwa kayaknya mereka berdua harus stop berhubungan dulu karena dia merasa nggak fokus mengejar apa yang dia kejar sebagai seorang penulis di New York. Di saat yang sama, Haesung juga lagi sibuk kuliah dan cari kerja.

Ada sih pengorbanan-pengorbanan kecil yang sama-sama mereka lakukan: Nora bangun sebelum jam 7 pagi supaya bisa Skype sama Haesung. Dan sebaliknya. Tapi yang aku gak suka adalah adegan dimana Nora tanya: "Jadi kapan kamu bisa ke New York?", Haesung jawab: "Paling satu setengah tahun lagi, abis aku exchange". Dan sebaliknya, pas Haesung tanya kapan Nora bisa ke Korea, dia jawab: "Ngapain aku ke Korea? Paling aku bisa kesana setahun lagi." Ok aku paham mungkin dia ngomong gitu karena bete sama jawaban Haesung, but what kind of relationship would it be? I will give you A but only if you give me A in return? Again: what kind of relationship would it be?

Gimana toh? Saling suka tapi ya sudah jelas bagi saya sebagai penonton bahwa mereka tuh nggak sesuka itu untuk memberikan lebih dari waktu tidur mereka. To me, the right thing would be for either of them, at that very time, to fly to the other person and really talk about how they're gonna proceed with whatever they were. Masalahnya, pas Nora bilang mereka harus berhenti berhubungan, sebenernya mereka tuh gak pacaran. Guys, you didn't even make it past the talking stage.

Terus loncat lagi ke 12 tahun setelahnya, di umur masing-masing udah pertengahan 30. Nora udah nikah sama Jew-American bernama Arthur selama 7 tahun. Arthur adalah sesama penulis yang ketemu dia di program residensi penulis. Haesung masih kerja di Korea, dia baru aja putus dari pacarnya, dan dia ngontak Nora untuk bilang bahwa dia akan pergi ke New York. Tiga malem doang di New York, after 13 hours of flight. Haha.

Jadilah selama dua hari Haesung di New York, dia dan Nora keliling-keliling New York sambil ngobrol yang isinya 'What ifs', mengingat-ingat masa lalu, mempertanyakan ini dan itu. Menurut w gak appropriate sih karena kasian aja gitu sama si Arthur. Udah mana menurut w si Arthur ini cowok spineless yang bilang: "That guy flew thirteen hours to be here. I'm not going to tell you that you can't see him or something. He's your childhood sweetheart." Terus pas si Nora pulang malem-malem abis ketemu Haesung, dia gak berenti ngomongin Haesung. Di tempat tidur, si Arthur ngomong lagi bahwa ini bisa jadi cerita yang hebat banget, "..in this story I am the white American husband who stands in the way of destiny."

Man if you're so insecure about your wife why even bother staying in that relationship lah. Menurut w dinamika hubungan Nora-Arthur tuh aneh banget, seakan merasa bahwa Nora tuh nikah sama dia ya emang karena butuh greencard aja (Dimana nggak mungkin juga sih? Orang mereka emang pacaran lama banget sebelum nikah?). I don't know. I just don't like it. Apalagi di adegan dimana Nora bawa Haesung pulang ke rumah terus si Arthur menyambut dengan posturnya yang slouchy dan mukanya yang udah siap nangis - seakan udah siap melepas Nora untuk pergi ke Korea di dalam pelukan Haesung.

Terus kasian banget sama Arthur pas ada adegan mereka bertiga duduk di bar tapi sepanjang malam Nora cuma ngobrol sama Haesung dalam bahasa Korea jadi Arthur dikacangin sepanjang malam 😭😭😭😭😭 Guy's so pathetic.

Beberapa pertanyaan whatifs yang keluar dari mulut Haesung pun buatku nggak cukup believable. Dia tanya, apa ya yang akan terjadi kalau dulu kita nggak berenti ngobrol? Apa kita bakal nikah? Apa kita bakal putus? Apa kita bakal punya anak? Banyak juga dari scene Nora-Haesung itu isinya cuma mereka berdua saling tatap-tatapan sambil senyum-senyum. Terus jujur emosi banget pas mereka bahas jangan-jangan di masa lalu kita tuh dalam doomed relationship ya? Atau waktu Haesung nanya apakah nanti mereka bisa ketemu lagi di next live?

Me watching them both: That's what you should've asked twelve years ago. I mean, why talk about the past and the future when you can talk about the PRESENT?? If you really love her then take her hands, ask her to come back with you to South Korea. Shoot your shot!!

W paham sih kayanya inti dari pertemuan mereka berdua adalah sebuah closure? Tapi terus apa? Kesimpulannya adalah mereka berdua itu sebenernya saling suka tapi momentum itu udah lewat jadi sekarang yang bisa mereka berdua lakukan adalah terus meromantisasi masa lalu? Closure is overrated, people.

I personally don't believe that they will work out, anyway. Nora adalah seorang imigran Korea yang emigrasi dua kali (ke Kanada lalu ke Amerika Serikat), mengejar karir sebagai penulis di New York. She's Americanized, she's no longer the 12 year old Nora Haesung fell in love with. Haesung adalah orang Korea yang konservatif secara pikiran dan juga tindakan. I don't think any of them are willing to give up their life and move halfway across the world for the other person.

And so they settled for the whatifs, at the romanticization of what nice little memories they had from back when they were both twelve years old.

Menurutku pun, sebenernya setelah kedatangan Haesung ke New York, hubungan Nora dan Arthur gak akan bisa kembali lagi seperti biasa. Arthur udah tahu dengan lebih jelas bahwa Nora tuh masih ada rasa sama Haesung, dan mungkin akan seumur hidup penasaran sama semua whatifs yang mungkin terjadi antara mereka berdua. Udah mana di scene akhir itu Nora nangis di pelukan Arthur setelah dia nganter Haesung ke Uber untuk pulang lagi ke Korea. Tega banget Nora, asli deh.

Tldr; I don't think Nora and Haesung have enough feelings for each other to go beyond the staring at each other while smiling stage, or the staying awake til 2 in the morning to Skype with you stage. That is not love. That is mere curiosity of a road none of them are willing to take.

#film review #past lives #thoughts

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amniotic · 5 months

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I do love to make little mixtapes for my ships. well, this got out of hand, so there's the lyrics and the vibes i get of each of these songs. i'ts first time that i make a "story" with the songs, so each one is from zoro or sanji pov, kind of progressing cause my headcanon it's that they started like frenemies with benefits to married husbands cause i'm a romantic at heart.

˗ˏˋ listen here ˎˊ˗

lyrics under the cut ♫₊˚.🎧 ✧

Montero (call me by your name) - lil nas x

Romantic talking? You don't even have to try. You're cute enough to fuck with me tonight. You know that you can Call me when you want, call me when you need Call me in the morning, I'll be on the way Oh, call me by your name. Tell me you love me in private, Call me by your name.I do not care if you lying

Amarrame - Mon Laferte

Ignórame. Ven y pierde la razón. Quiero que me ruegues y me mires a los ojos. Dame la espalda, desenfócame. Tómame del pelo y repíteme mi nombre. Y ámame, pero sin querer

Kiss with a fist - Florence + the machine

You gave a kick. I gave a slap. You smashed a plate over my head Then I set fire to our bed I spilled your blood upon the floor. You broke my leg in return So sit back and watch the bed burn. Love sticks. Sweat drips. A kick to the teeth is good for some. A kiss with a fist is better than none

Rush - Troye Sivan

Big communication, tell me what you want Translate your vibration, let your body talk to me I feel the rush, Addicted to your touch

I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys

If you like your coffee hot, Let me be your coffee pot Secrets I have held in my heart, Are harder to hide than I thought, Maybe I just wanna be yours, I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours

Good Old fashion lover boy - queen

What're you doing tonight? Hey, boy, Set my alarm, turn on my charm. That's because I'm a good old-fashioned lover boy. Let me feel your heartbeat, can you feel my love heat?

O sarracino - Renato Carosone

'O sarracino, 'o sarracino. Tutt"e ffemmene fa 'nnammurá Ll'uocchie 'e brigante e 'o sole 'nfaccia. Ogne figliola s'appiccia si 'o vede 'e passá. Na sigaretta 'mmocca, na mana dint"a sacca. E se ne va smargiasso, pe' tutt"a cittá

Pienso en tu mirá - Rosalía

Me da miedo cuando sales Sonriendo pa' la calle Porque todos pueden ver Los hoyuelitos que te salen Me da miedo cuando sales Pienso en tu mirá', tu mirá', clavá', es una bala en el pecho

Algo contigo - Rita payes

Y me quedan muy pocos caminos. Y aunque pueda parecerte un desatino, no quisiera yo morirme sin tener algo contigo

Hallucinate - Dua Lipa

I hallucinate when you call my name, Got stars in my eyes, And they don't fade when you come my way No, I couldn't live without your touch, No, I could never have too much, I'll breathe you in forever and ever, Hallucinate Kill me slowly with your kiss, Wrap me 'round your fingertips

Washing machine heart - mitski

Baby, will you kiss me already? And toss your dirty shoes. In my washing machine heart. Baby, bang it up inside Baby, though I've closed my eyes, I know who you pretend I am

Your best american girl - Mitski

You're the sun, you've never seen the night. But you hear its song from the morning birds. Well, I'm not the moon, I'm not even a star. But awake at night I'll be singing to the birds. Don't wait for me, I can't come You're the one. You're all I ever wanted. I think I'll regret this

誰かの願いが叶うころ - Utada Hikaru

あなたの幸せ願うほど　わがままが増えてくよ. それでもあなたを引き止めたい　いつだってそうそれならあなたを抱き寄せたい　できるだけぎゅっと

Can't help falling in love - elvis presley

"Only fools rush in". But I can't help Falling in love with you. Shall I stay? Would it be a sin. If I can't help Falling in love with you? Take my hand. Take my whole life too

One of your girls - troye sivan

Give me a call if you ever get lonely.I'll be like one of your girls or your homies Say what you want, and I'll keep it a secret. You get the key to my heart, and I need it

Sei la mia cittá - cosmo

Sei la mia città, fuori dal tempo. Sei la mia città, è un complimento. Sei la mia città, ti sento dentro

koko de kissu shite - shiina ringo

I´ll never be able to give up on you. So never say good bye And kiss me once again 行かないでね. 何処にだってあたしと一緒じゃなきゃ厭よ. あなたしか見て無いのよ今すぐに此処でキスして Don't go. Wherever you go, you have to be with me. I only see you. Kiss me here right now

Eres para mí - Julieta Venegas

Temes sentir más de la cuenta. El corazón es un músculo, Si no late revienta. Extraño mirarte de lejos. De hacernos los tontos, parecemos tan viejos. Tiempo, mm, ¿quieres más tiempo?. Mírame la piel, ¿no ves acaso lo que siento?

Tú eres para mí, yo soy para ti El viento me lo dijo con un soplo suavecillo

Strawberry blond - mitski

I love it when you look my way. Look at you, strawberry blond. Fields rolling on, I love it when you call my name. All I need, darling, is a life in your shape I picture it, soft and I ache

there is a light that never goes out - the smiths

Oh, please don't drop me home¨. Because it's not my home, it's their home And I'm welcome no more To die by your side Is such a heavenly way to die. And if a ten-ton truckKills the both of us To die by your side. Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine

From the start - laufey

Don't you dare look at me that way I don't need reminders of how you don't feel the same. Oh, the burning pain Listening to you harp on 'bout some new soulmate "She's so perfect", blah, blah, blah That when I talk to you Oh, Cupid walks right through And shoots an arrow through my heart. And I sound like a loon, but don't you feel it, too? Confess I loved you from the start

Enamorada - Miranda!

Mi corazón palpitaba, Cada vez que ese hombre se me acercaba. Y con el tiempo me empezó a gustar. Debo decir que no me fue tan mal Ahora estoy mucho mejor, Porque me di cuenta que tuvo sentido Haber recorrido lo que recorrí. Si al final de cuentas él era mi recompensa, Qué suerte que nunca me fui

Somethin' Stupid - Frank Sinata

And then I go and spoil it all. By saying something stupid like "I love you"

Dreams - the cranberries

Then I open up and see. The person falling here is me A different way to be And now I tell you openly, You have my heart so don't hurt me. You're what I couldn't find

Love on top - beyoncé

I can feel the sun whenever you're near. Every time you touch me, I just melt away Nothing's perfect, but it's worth it. After fighting through my tears And finally, you put me first. Baby, it's you.

#im cringe but im free #zosan #mixtape #this is so eccletic sorry asdjkasdla #i know some lyrics are in spanish and japanese #i can put the translation #but this is like more for me i know the meanings of these songs ajksda #i cannot make a mixtape without florence and utada hikaru #zoro x sanji #ronoroa zoro x sanji #sanzo

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holy3cake · 3 months

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Get to know you better!

Thank you for the tag @lancedoncrimsonwings!

Do you make your bed? Yep, but somehow my sheets never seem to fit properly. I hate the snappy corners.

Favourite number? 3 or 13, I really like "unlucky" numbers, but I do tend to get good news in 3's so I'm drawn to that number.

What's your job? I work in conservation, but I'm planning to start my PhD soon (employment psychology).

If you could go back to school, would you? Absolutely, and I did! I had some years out when I was younger, and I was scared that I couldn't return after that, but University honestly made who I am today :). If I had infinite money, I would go back and do at least two more degrees (I have a bachelor's in Psychology, but I would 100% go back and do English Lit and History).

Can you parellel park? Uhhh the first time I drove a car (my first and ONLY driving lesson) I drove into another car because I have AWFUL spatial awareness. So no, I cannot parallel park haha.

Do you think aliens are real? I'm kinda undecided on this one. I think I've watched too many horror movies so it's warped my overall view on aliens as a concept, but I would like to think they are real. But it's the psychologist in me that says no. I'm a bit of sceptic (especially with ghosts as well).

Can you drive a manual car? Following my previous car answer, the first car I drove was a Corsa without power-assisted driving and I was yanking the steering wheel like my instructor had suggested, but I crashed. So uhhh...no.

Guilty pleasure?...... I mean, apart from Harry Gilby? Probably not many, but I do like a shortbread (I try not to eat them because they have wayyyy too much sugar).

Tattoos? Unfortunately not, but I will endeavour to get @lancedoncrimsonwings to do a Daniel Sharman tattoo for me one day lmao.

Favourite colour? I used to love yellow when I was younger, but now I really like gold or bronze, almost candle tones.

Favourite type of music? I will listen to just about anything, but currently my playlist consists of Dua Lipa and Sabrina Carpenter. I always put on a good medieval lo-fi soundtrack when I'm writing though.

Do you like puzzles? I am extremely partial to a good sudoku puzzle, but I do like jigsaws as well (I just don't have a lot of time to do them).

Any phobias? I have Hydrophobia, but it's not as severe as it was when I was little. My husband is teaching me how to swim, so it's really nice to be able to get over that fear. I used to be scared of dogs as well, but now I love them :)

Favourite childhood sport? I genuinely don't know if this is a secondary school fever dream, but did anyone ever play benchball? When you stand on a bench and throw a softball at people? If you catch the ball, you get to join those on the bench, but if the ball hits you you're disqualified? It was absolutely hilarious.

Do you talk to yourself? Yeeeep, I think we all do don't we? Although I tend to just kind of speak aloud, normally when I'm writing or reading.

Tea or coffee? I really love coffee flavoured things, but despise coffee itself. Like coffee and walnut cake is my absolute dream. But I have to choose tea, I'm probably the most stereotypical Brit you'll meet, I would carry a box of tea with me if I could lmao. Earl grey is my go to though, especially to enjoy with @waterfallsilverberrywrites TLK fanfics :)

What movies do you adore? I am an absolute horror buff, I'm working my way through every single one. Buuuut my favourite movie is Love, Rosie, so take from that what you will haha.

No pressure tags: (Please do not feel pressured to answer all of the questions, this is purely what you're comfortable with :))

@jayalover @lord-aldhelm @waterfallsilverberrywrites @persephones-journey @redacted-thething @cary-elwes @book-and-music-lover

#tag game #about me #facts #get to know your mutuals better

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airbrushfather · 1 year

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50 and 76 ❕

asks from this post!! thank you c!!

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

oh boy i've been waiting for an opportunity to publicise this story because it's so insane. me and my friend go for breakfast every friday and one week i had no plans afterwards so we were just hanging out in town for a bit, and we passed the market which was at that time only two stalls: one selling flowers, and one selling fish. now, we live in a very small town next to several other very small towns, so if you frequent this market you know the people who run each stall. usually, it's two men who run the fish stall, but on this day, it was two women. my friend (t) very loudly and very happily says "oh!! fish women!". the women smile. i comment about how this seems like a strange word for mermaid and t politely informs me (in the making-up-bullshit way you do to your friends) that the fish women is actually a group of activists. naturally, i prod her on this. what are they campaining for? i don't know, says t, we are just women for fish. oh, not fish for women? no. women for fish. has someone... hurt the fish? yes, says t, the government. oh? i say, tell me more. we get to the bus stop. t sits on the curb with me and tells me about the women for fish movement, which as it turns out, is something they're doing because the british government is putting bleach in the water in the seaside town she is from (this is not true, but sometimes when you're friends with people like i'm friends with, you begin method acting. i think it's good training for my hopeful upcoming scare acting gig.) i'm prodding about this town and it turns out that everyone who lives there is either a woman, or married to a woman. i think this is a little unfair on gay men or single people or widowers. t shrugs and says, feminism. as it transpires, as we get on the bus and later go to t's house, none of the women can read or write and the seaside town (whose name changed every time someone said it, but was always somewhere close to fishton-upon-ribblesley) has no internet, no cars, and no healthcare. i (naturally) assume the character of the first tourist this town has had for years and am curious to know more. my name is jemima puddleduck, and i've come here to find my long lost family. as it turns out, fishley-by-the-sea is a microstate of england, and its own independent enclave, not even governed by british parliment. their system of government, instead, is based on fifteen increasingly ridiculous rules (which included, from memory, all of the rules from the song 'new rules' by dua lipa, and the fact that you have to train to be a blacksmith) and the first rule is that anyone who wants to be an elected official must be sent out to sea and return safely. you'd think, for a seaside town, that everyone would be at least somewhat skilled in seafaring, but no -- every single elected official they have sent out to sea has not returned, so they've not elected any new officials in years. the only one to ever come back is a man whose government name is grandad puddleduck. first name grandad. last name puddleduck.

hold on, i say, my last name is puddleduck. is he my grandad? it turns out yes, and i have to go and meet him because i was not raised in fisherdale-upon-hammersmith and have never known my family. it turns out i have a sister here too, whose name i can't remember, but she has a husband named gavin and two alive children, many, many dead ones. gavin is a bird. my poor old grandad is sick to bastard death of being elected official, especially since i imagine his business in town is mostly just sending people to die at sea. i tell him, i will become the new elected official so you can live out your old age by the sea peacefully, and maybe then i'll make some changes to this godforsaken place. like teaching the women to read. okay, says grandad, who is played by t, but you'll have to follow all the rules. the first rule is that all elected officials must be sent out to sea and come back whole, as you know. i decide to befriend the local fishermen and see if one of them will take me out in his boat. (is that against the rules? grandad says there's nothing in the book about it, so it's probably okay.) the first man i meet is named michael spearman (which i, the real me, danny, not jemima) genuinely just pulled out of my brain and did not know who it was attached to. i knew he was someone, but i couldn't really remember who at this time. i had a lot on my brain, such as the other fourteen fucking rules i would have to follow in order to become elected. it's appropriate, though, because he spears the fish. we affectionately name him fishermichael. fishermichael agrees to take me out in his boat, and it's a lovely little trip out into the ocean. however, as i learn the hard way, fishermike has a terrible condition wherein he will collapse if he hears a profanity. what fishermichael deems to be a profanity varies wildly based on how t (who is also playing fishermichael) is feeling. several times, i swear and fishermike is knocked out cold, and i have to go and do a side quest in order to kill time before he wakes up. eventually, we go out to sea, and for the first time, a prospective elected official begins rule 2.

what is rule 2, you ask? i can't fucking remember. this shit was taking hours. however, somewhere along the way i do indeed learn to be a blacksmith, and it turns out the blacksmith family thinks i am horrible. this will not fare me well in the election.

i also meet a character called archaeological dave. he runs the archaeology society, which he runs out of a shack which he built around a large statue he unearthed of a bald man holding a huge pickaxe, engraved with the phrase 'me when i go digging'. i will attach a picture for reference of what this statue may have looked like. an approximate recreation made by the greatest minds of our archaeological generation. archaeological dave drinks lots of coffee, which i soon come to learn is laced with cocaine. tons of cocaine.

he helps me complete some more of the tasks i need to do. i honestly don't remember most of them. once all fifteen rules have been completed, the town holds a very big celebration on the beach, including a maypole dance, a wreath making contest, afternoon tea, and a choir led by my brother in law the bird. as it turns out, poor old fishermike has another unfortunate condition where hearing music makes him turn into a table. this proves very frustrating when i have to ask him if he would vote for me and he can only speak in table wobbles.

my final task as elected official to be is to go around and 'hold the election', which involves asking every character i have met if they would like to elect me. almost everyone says yes, except for the blacksmith, who is just a wanker for some reason. i think grandad puddleduck once accidentally broke into his workshop and smithed something and he wasn't a big fan of that. but, cmon, blacksmith, i'm two generations removed from that and i'm new in town. give me a break. his wife and children say yes anyway, so i'm not that bothered.

after my flurry of yesses (and t forgetting how to do most of the voices), i am finally there. ready to become elected official of fishwick-upon-fishwick and bring literacy to it's women and install a proper healthcare system. but there's one problem.

remember when i said all women in fishborough-southwest-of-lumbago are married?

jemima is not married.

i have to frantically run around and find an unmarried man (who isn't also a child or my relative) but it's proving very difficult. hope is fading. i will have to abandon this small, small, small country and leave it's poor female populus without the joy of ever reading 'this is just to say' by william carol williams, or writing 'woz ere' on a toilet door. how will i ever live with myself?

but then. oh, then.

out of the darkness comes my shining light. his wife is dead. she's buried in the garden. he's on so much fucking cocaine.

archaeological dave.

(by this point, it's like 3pm. me and t left breakfast at about 10. this has been going on for fucking hours. and, to answer the question, we've been laughing our asses off the whole time)

i propose to archaeological dave and we become engaged. that's kind of the end, it fizzles out around here, because t and i are just in hysterics. what the fuck have we just done for the last approximately five hours? we've been in her garden, playing a roleplaying game like children. my phone is full of people asking where the fuck i've gone. t's mum is inside and has heard the whole thing through the open kitchen window.

my stomach muscles hurt for the next three days.

so, probably that.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

anyway. it's mash tater.

#sorry c but you can't give me the opportunity to tell the funniest fucking tale i know and not expect me to take it #the story of fishton #to this day we fondly remember fishermike and his weird medical conditions <3

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outpostsofbabel · 8 months

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Demigods and Semi-devils, Chapter VII (II)

Duan Zhengchun and his wife stared fixedly at their son's wound. The blood seeping out turned from black to purple after a little while, and then from purple to red. It was only at this that they heaved a collective sigh of relief, knowing that their son's life was safe.

Dao Baifeng picked up her son and carried him into a bedroom, pulling a blanket over him and taking his pulse. It was beating steadily and strongly, with no sign of weakness. She felt some surprise at this, even as her heart leapt. Assured, she returned to the main room.

"Everything alright?" Duan Zhengchun asked.

Dao Baifeng did not reply. To Mu Wanqing, she said: "Go and tell the Asura's Knife, Qin Hongmian-"

On hearing those words, Duan Zhengchun went pale. "You...you..." he began.

Ignoring her husband, Dao Baifeng continued her sentence to the girl. "Tell her, if she wants my life, she should feel free to make her attempts in an upfront and open manner. Wouldn't people laugh their heads off at the underhanded tricks she just tried?"

"I don't know who this Asura's Knife - Qin Hongmian - is at all," Mu Wanqing replied.

"Then whose orders are you acting on to kill me?" Dao Baifeng asked, puzzled.

"My master," the girl said. "My master bade me kill two people. The first is you. She said you have a red mark on your hand, that you go by the name of Dao Baifeng, and you are a daughter of the Baiyi clan. She said also that you are very beautiful, and that your favoured weapon is a whip. She never...never said that you disguised yourself as a nun. When I first saw you, you were using a horsetail whisk and called yourself the Sage of the Jade Hollow. I never thought that you were the person that...that my master bade me to kill, and even less did I think you were my husband's mother..." At this, tears began to flow from her eyes.

"The second person that your master bade you kill," Dao Baifeng said. "Was it the Beautiful Yaksha, Gan Baobao?"

"No, no!" Mu Wanqing cried. "Gan Baobao is my master's sister-in-arms. She had a letter delivered to my master, saying that two women have caused her great pain her whole life, and that this great wrong must be revenged..."

"Ah, yes," Dao Baifeng said. "The other woman goes by the name of Wang, and she lives in Suzhou, right?"

"Yes, how did you know? My master and I went to Suzhou to kill her first. But this wicked woman has many slaves under her, and she lives in a very odd place indeed. I never saw her face, and I was chased by her slaves all the way to Dali."

Duan Zhengchun was listening to this conversation with his head lowered. His face turned red and pale in turns.

Tears suddenly rolled down Dao Baifeng's cheeks. Turning to Duan Zhengchun, she said: "See you look after Duan Yu well. I'm...I'm leaving."

"My lady, all that is in the past," her husband replied. "Why take it so much to heart?"

"You may not take it to heart, but I do, and so do other people," she said softly. With a sudden soaring leap, she vaulted out of the window. Duan Zhengchun reached out to snatch at her sleeve, but she hit at him with an open palm. He nimbly avoided the blow by moving his head aside, but tore her sleeve. Turning, she said angrily: "Do you really want to fight?"

"My lady, you..."

With a kick of her feet, Dao Baifeng had leapt to the roof of the building opposite, and was several metres away in a few more leaps. Chu Wanli's voice could be heard in the distance, shouting: "Who is it?"

"It is I," Dao Baifeng replied.

"Ah, the princess," he called back. After that, there was no sound. Dao Baifeng was far away.

Duan Zhengchun stood there in silence for some minutes, then heaved a sigh as he moved back into the main room. He saw that Mu Wanqing was extremely pale, but had not fled. Moving up to her, he gripped her right arm with both hands and, with a cracking noise, fixed her dislocated arm. I shot poisoned arrows at his wife, Mu Wanqing thought. What kind of torment will he deal me for that?

But Duan Zhengchun simply sat dejectedly in a chair, slowly pouring himself a cup of wine. He drank it down with a gulp, then sat staring blankly at the window from which his wife had leapt. After some time, he slowly poured himself another cup, downing it with another loud gulp. Some twelve or thirteen cups disappeared this way, until he had drained a full jar of wine. He began pouring from a fresh jar - pouring very slowly, but drinking exceedingly quickly.

Finally, Mu Wanqing ran out of patience. "Whatever twisted, vicious methods you are thinking about to punish me with - hurry up and do it!"

Duan Zhengchun lifted his head, staring unwaveringly at Mu Wanqing. After a long time, he shook his head steadily and sighed. "Very like, very like! I should have seen it long ago, the look, and the temper..."

Mu Wanqing had no idea what he was talking about. "What are you saying? Utter nonsense."

Duan Zhengchun said nothing. He stood up and with a sudden swift movement of his left hand, snuffed out a candle behind him with a gust of wind from his palm. He repeated the movement with his right hand, extinguishing another candle. He did this five times, snuffing out five candles while always looking straight ahead. His movements were natural and easy, his palms moving like running water or clouds across the sky.

"That...that's the Five Smoke Wisps technique!" Mu Wanqing cried. "How do you know that too?"

Duan Zhengchun gave a bitter laugh. "Your master has taught you that, I suppose?"

"My master said she would never teach this technique to anyone. She said she would bring it to her coffin with her."

"Huh! She said she would never teach it to anyone, and would take it to her grave?"

"Yes, but whenever my master thought I wasn't around, she would practise it on her own. I've seen plenty of it in secret."

"She would often practise this technique in secret?"

Mu Wanqing nodded. "Yes. Master would always be in a bad mood after practising this technique, and yell at me. How...how do you know it too? You're even better at it than my master, it seems."

Duan Zhengchun sighed. "This Five Smoke Wisps technique - I taught it to your master."

Mu Wanqing was stunned but had no reason not to believe him. She had often seen that her master could not extinguish a candle in a single stroke, but would have to try two or three times before she succeeded. It was nothing like Duan Zhengchun's easy wave of his hand. "So you are my master's master," she said awkwardly. "That makes you my grand-master?"

"No!" Duan Zhengchun said, shaking his head. Resting his cheek on his hand, he said softly to himself: "So every time she practised this technique, she would get into a bad temper. And she said she would never teach it to anyone, but bring it to her coffin..."

"So you-" Mu Wanqing said.

Duan Zhengchun wagged his hand at her, signalling for her to stop asking questions. After some time, he suddenly said: "You're eighteen this year, born in September - right?"

Mu Wanqing leapt to her feet. "You know everything about me! Who are you to my master?" she asked curiously.

Duan Zhengchun's face was a picture of pain and misery. In a hoarse voice he said: "I've...I've done badly by your master. Wan'er, you-."

"How? You look like a good and agreeable person to me."

"Your master's name. She never told you what it was?"

"My master told me to call her You Gu'ke - the Visitor in the Valley. But what her real name was, I have no idea."

"You Gu'ke, You Gu'ke," Duan Zhengchun said hoarsely. Du Fu's poem Beautiful Maiden suddenly came to mind, and each word stabbed his heart:

A peerless beauty, living alone in an empty valley.

She says she is of a good family; it has been humbled to the earth.

[...]

Her husband with a vagrant heart seeks a new lover with jadelike beauty

[...]

On seeing his new love smile, his old love weeps unheard.

After some time, he asked again: "How has your master lived, all these years? Where do you live?"

"My master and I live in a valley behind a tall mountain," Mu Wanqing replied. "My master calls that place You Gu (The Hidden Valley). It is only now that the two of us have ever left it."

"And who are your parents? Did your master never tell you?"

"My master says that I was an orphan who was abandoned by my parents. My master picked me up from the roadside and adopted me."

"Do you hate your parents?"

Mu Wanqing tipped her head to one side and bit her pinky finger.

On seeing this, Duan Zhengchun felt a terrible ache in his heart. Mu Wanqing was surprised to see two large tears roll down his cheeks. "Why are you crying?" she asked.

Duan Zhengchun turned his back to her, brushing the tears away. Feigning a laugh, he said: "Crying? I've just had a few too many drinks, and the alcohol is taking effect."

Mu Wanqing did not believe a word. "I plainly saw your crying. Only girls cry. Do men cry too? I've never seen a man cry, except for boys."

Duan Zhengchun felt great sorrow that she knew nothing at all of the world. "Wan'er, I will treat you well in the days to come, to make up for my past mistakes," he said. "If there is anything your heart desires, let me know of it, and I will do my best to give it to you."

The girl had been very anxious ever since attacking Dao Baifeng with her arrows. Hearing this, she said delightedly: "So you don't blame me for shooting arrows at your wife?"

"As you said: 'A master’s love is profound, and a master’s orders hard to disobey.' The affairs of the previous generation have nothing to do with you. I don't blame you. But you must not be rude to my wife in the future."

"What if my master asks me about it one day?" Mu Wanqing asked.

"Bring me to see her and I will tell her in person," the man replied.

Mu Wanqing clapped her hands in glee. "Great!" Then she crowned. "My master said, every man on earth is fickle and unkind. She never receives any men."

A flicker of surprise crossed Duan Zhengchun's face. "Your master never sees any men?"

"Yes, she usually gets Grandma Liang to buy salt for her. But once Grandma Liang was ill, and got her son to buy it and send it over instead. Master was so angry and got him to leave it outside the door. She didn't let him into the house."

"Hongmian, Hongmian," Duan Zhengchun said with a sigh. "Why make life so difficult for yourself?"

"You just said 'Hongmian' again," Mu Wanqing said. "Who on earth is this Hongmian?"

Duan Zhengchun hesitated for a moment, then said. "This can't be hidden from you forever. Your master's real name is Qin Hongmian, and she is also called the Asura's Knife."

Mu Wanqing nodded. "No wonder your wife asked so fiercely if I knew the Asura's Knife, the first time she saw me shoot my arrows. At the time I had no idea. I didn't mean to lie. So my master is called Qin Hongmian. That's a beautiful name. I don't know why she never told me of it."

"When I hurt your arm just now - does it still hurt?" Duan Zhengchun asked.

Seeing the warmth and kindness on his face, Mu Wanqing smiled. "It's much better. Let's go and have a look at...at your son, shall we? I'm afraid the poison on the arrows won't have dissipated completely."

"Alright!" said Duan Zhengchun, getting to his feet. "And if you have anything you want, let me know."

Mu Wanqing suddenly blushed. Looking aside bashfully, she said: "It's just that...that now I have attacked your wife, I'm afraid she'll...she'll be angry with me."

"We shall slowly beg her forgiveness, and perhaps in time she'll not feel that way," he replied.

"I never beg anyone for anything," Mu Wanqing retorted. "But for my husband, a little begging won't hurt." Screwing up her courage, she suddenly asked: "Lord Zhen'nan, if I tell you my heart's desire, will you really...really give it to me?"

"As long as it is within my power, I will fulfil your wishes," he said.

"You musn't go back on your word."

Duan Zhengchun smiled. Going up to the girl, he stroked her hair lightly. His eyes were overflowing with tender affection as he said: "Naturally, I will not go back on my word."

"Our marriage," Mu Wanqing said. "You must take charge of it and make sure he is not faithless." She beamed as she spoke the words.

Duan Zhengchun's expression changed completely. He backed away slowly, collapsing into a chair and saying nothing for a long time. Sensing that something was wrong, Mu Wanqing said in a trembling voice: "You...you will not consent to our marriage?"

"You cannot marry Yu'er," the man said. His words were mumbled but their tone was sure.

Mu Wanqing felt a chill touch her heart. Miserably, she said: "Why not? He...he promised me himself."

But all Duan Zhengchun would say was: "Evil fate! Oh, evil fate!"

"If he doesn't want me, I'll...I'll kill him, and then kill myself. I...I swore it to my master's face."

Duan Zhengchun shook his head steadily. "It's not possible!" he said.

"In that case, I'll go ask him myself why it isn't possible," Mu Wanqing said.

"Yu'er...himself...doesn't know," Duan Zhengchun said. The girl's look of misery now was the same look Qin Hongmian had eighteen years ago, when she had first heard the bad news. Unable to bear it any longer, he blurted out: "You can't marry Duan'er, and you can't kill him."

"Why not?" Mu Wanqing demanded.

"Because...because...because Duan Yu is your own brother!"

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islamicremedies · 3 years

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Wazifa to bring husband back home

Dua to make someone love you back The love of husband and wife is supposed to be eternal. This one relationship is supposed to last a lifetime. Wazifa to bring husband love back and home But, often at the hands of some kind of misfortune, two people find themselves drifting apart. Often lack of love or familial conflicts or some kind of misunderstanding can drive a wedge between a relationship.…

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#dua for husband and wife to get back together #dua for husband to leave the other woman #dua for husband to return #dua for my husband to come back to me #dua to bring husband and wife closer #dua to reunite husband and wife #very strong wazifa to get back husband from other woman

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theadventuresofamuslimrevert · 3 years

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Losing a loved one is one of the major trials of life many of us will encounter. Grief from that loss is a natural reaction that takes a different trajectory for different people. Some people describe grief as a dark fog that is difficult to shake, others speak of the suffocating regret and anxiety that often accompany those feelings, still others speak about grief as waves that rise up and subside at different points.

“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, Who, when disaster strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return.” Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the guided.” [Quran; 2:155-157]

Sometimes people are expect to follow a particular timeline of grief, but the reality is that the journey of grief is different for everyone. Counsellors and bereavement supporters often speak about the five stages of grief that were popularized in the famous book On Death and Dying by psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross namely: denial (as you begin to come to terms with the reality of the situation, denial begins to fade and difficult feelings may begin to surface), anger/anxiety (anger is the body’s natural reaction to threat and, oftentimes, there is no greater threat than the loss of someone you love or the loss of the way you envisioned life would be. Anger can also feel powerful during times when we feel powerless. You may experience nervousness, heart palpitations, restlessness, irritability, and/or difficulty breathing), bargaining (this stage often includes “If only…” statements due to the feelings of regret that come up with loss. This stage is characterized by an overwhelming desire for life to return to the way it was), depression (you might feel down and cry more often than you usually do. It may also feel like you have less motivation and find less enjoyment in activities you used to love. This stage can feel as though it’ll stretch on forever) and acceptance (it involves accepting the reality that this person is physically gone and that this new reality is the permanent reality. Acceptance does not mean that you’re “ok” with what happened. The loss of someone you love will likely never feel ok. The goal in this stage is to learn how to live with this loss and create a new normal despite the huge piece that is missing). However, recent research and understanding has concluded that grief can be an individualized and unpredictable experience and no two people’s experiences will be the same.

Let us look at some advice in the Quran and Sunnah to help us cope with grief and the loss of a loved one:

Shed tears as much as you want, but don’t let the tongue say what may displease Allah

Our Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) experienced grief at many points of his life, often at the loss of loved ones. During these experiences he taught us that grief is a natural emotion and that Allah does not hold us accountable for expressing sadness and pain in a permissible manner. Sadness does not negate the acceptance of Allah’s decree which is the very center of a believer’s journey in grief.

Narrated Anas bin Malik: We went with Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) to the blacksmith Abu Saif, and he was the husband of the wet-nurse of Ibrahim (the son of the Prophet). Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) took Ibrahim and kissed him and smelled him and later we entered Abu Saif’s house and at that time Ibrahim was in his last breaths, and the eyes of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) started shedding tears. `Abdur Rahman bin `Auf said, “O Allah’s Apostle, even you are weeping!” He said, “O Ibn `Auf, this is mercy.” Then he wept more and said, “The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord, O Ibrahim ! Indeed we are grieved by your separation.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 1303]

We see the intensity of these emotions in the Prophet Yaʿqub عليه السلام when he was separated from his son Yusuf عليه السلام and he grieved so deeply that his eyes turned white (it’s said that he lost his sight) due to the extent to which he cried. His intense grief is expressed in the Qur’an (after all those years of losing his son) yet he was called to have beautiful patience (sabrun jameel):

And he turned away from them and said, “Oh, my sorrow over Joseph,” and his eyes became white from grief, for he was a suppressor. [Quran; 12:84]

Accept that all of us belong to Allah and all of us will return to Him

As we see from the hadith above where the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) was coping with grief, patience in Islam does not mean that we do not cry and that we do not express our emotions. What is forbidden is wailing and slapping one’s cheeks which was the culture at that time (the Arabs – women in particular – used to scream and wail during funerals or at someone’s death). As the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said the eyes shed tears and the heart is grieved but the tongue only says what is acceptable to Allah.

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “The example of a believer is that of a fresh tender plant; from whatever direction the wind comes, it bends it, but when the wind becomes quiet, it becomes straight again. Similarly, a believer is afflicted with calamities (but he remains patient till Allah removes his difficulties.) And an impious wicked person is like a pine tree which keeps hard and straight till Allah cuts (breaks) it down when He wishes.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 5644]

Make dua for yourself

As human beings, we attempt to cope with negative emotions in different ways. We often attempt to push away difficult emotions because they make us feel uncomfortable as it’s a painful process to sit with these feelings. We may try to distract ourselves or put on a fake smile. Some may even self-medicate through the use of drugs or alcohol to alleviate the pain they are feeling. When we are unable to grieve fully and an experience becomes a source of trauma, we are thrust into survival mode, which shuts down the executive functioning part of our brain and prevents us from thinking clearly. This is why we may react to situations in unhealthy ways or do things during times of stress that we would not have done during times of ease. This is one reason why some people struggle to worship Allah during times of extreme stress. When the “danger activation center” part of our brain is dominant, there is a decrease in self-awareness, our capacity to self-evaluate, and our ability to establish goals. All of these require advanced thought processes, which are very difficult to sustain during times of extreme stress. In order for any activity to help, our brain needs to register it. Research has shown an association between prayer and the ability to re-engage the “thinking” part of our brains.

Umm Salama, the wife of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:If any servant (of Allah) who suffers a calamity says:” We belong to Allah and to Him shall we return; O Allah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better than it in exchange for it,” ‘ Allah will give him reward for affliction, and would give him something better than it in exchange. She (Umm Salama) said: When Abu Salama died. I uttered (these very words) as I was commanded (to do) by the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). So Allah gave me better in exchange than him. i. e. (I was taken as the wife of) the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). [Hadith; Sahih Muslim 918 b]

When I lost my baby son Hamza, I remember one of my close friends messaged me this dua and reminded me to keep reciting it. I had not really known that dua at that time but I am so grateful for friends who guided me to the right words to say at such a confusing and overwhelming time when I almost lost my faith as a revert.

Stay among people who love you and would support you through this difficult journey

It is quite common to be engulfed by grief with the death of a loved one. However, one must not dwell in it much heaven knows i did but i soon realised this sends an invitation to Shaytan to become your company. Let the death of a loved be a lesson of detaching from Dunya and to hold Allah (glorified and exalted be he) in your heart above all others.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) visited Sa’d bin ‘Ubadah during his illness. He was accompanied by ‘Abdur-Rahman bin ‘Auf, Sa’d bin Abu Waqqas and ‘Abdullah bin Mas’ud (May Allah be pleased with them). The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) began to weep. When his Companions saw this, their tears also started flowing. He (ﷺ) said, “Do you not hear, Allah does not punish for the shedding of tears or the grief of the heart, but punishes or bestows mercy for the utterances of this (and he pointed to his tongue).” [Hadith; Riyad as-Salihin 925]

Remember that your patience is being rewarded more than you can imagine

These are words you should say even when you feel sad at the memory of a loss you faced in the past or when you miss your loved one or the life you had planned with them.

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “Allah says, ‘I have nothing to give but Paradise as a reward to my believer slave, who, if I cause his dear friend (or relative) to die, remains patient (and hopes for Allah’s Reward). [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 6424]

Stay away from questioning Qadr of Allah (asking: why me? or if only!)

Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him.” [Hadith; Tirmidhi 2144]

Often one of the ways, Shaitan attacks us at times of calamity or a loss is to overwhelm us with questions of what if and why me? How did this happen? Would it have been prevented if I had just done this or that or gone to the hospital earlier or taken this or that medical intervention?? I blamed myself for my sons death so much over the last year (he passed away 25/07/2020) but after reading the following in last few weeks I've become to realise there was nothing I could do to prevent it as it was Allah's will.

“The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, although both are good. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless. If anything befalls you, do not say, “if only I had done such and such” rather say “Qaddara Allahu wa ma sha’a fa’ala (Allah has decreed and whatever he wills, He does).” For (saying) ‘If’ opens (the door) to the deeds of Satan.'” [Hadith; Ibn Majah 79]

These are some of the words my midwife told me to say when I heard the news of my baby passing away in my womb after 25weeks of pregnancy I am forever grateful to her for reminding me this at that trying time. Reminding ourselves we all have a path and a time to meet Allah and it is not the time be battling with the what if questions you are bombarded yourself with. I am grateful to Allah (swt) for giving me people in my life who were able to remind me of the right words to say and the right approach at such a difficult time. Remind yourself: whatever happened was decreed by Allah and nothing you or someone else did or did not do could have changed it. Focusing on the factors within your control, rather than on regrets and a desire to return to the less painful past, can help you to get through this stage.

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not. [Quran; 2:216]

Turning back to our deen and our belief in Qadr is what helped us accept the death as something Allah had decreed at this exact time and this exact situation and there is nothing we could have done to have changed that. Changing the past is not feasible so channeling our energy into something unchangeable is a recipe for intense pain. Instead of “What if…” Focus on “What is…”: The one thing we consistently have within our control is what we choose to do with the present moment. Shifting our focus away from regrets of the past and worries about the future allows us to take advantage of the present moment. Allah (swt) talks about this attitude of remorse in the Quran:

O you who have believed, do not be like those who disbelieved and said about their brothers when they traveled through the land or went out to fight, “If they had been with us, they would not have died or have been killed,” so Allah makes that a regret within their hearts. And it is Allah who gives life and causes death, and Allah is Seeing of what you do. [Quran; 3:156]

Instead, turn to Allah and open your heart to Him

Death can serve as a reminder to those left behind about the temporariness of this life and the importance of working for our next lives. It forces us to reflect on what is meaningful and what is important. Turn to Allah and pour your heart out to Him, talk to Him about your pain, cry out to Him and ask Him to calm your heart and heal your pain. Ask Him to reunite you with your loved one in Jannah. Ask Him to give you strength and peace. When Prophet Yaqub (عَلَيْهِ السَّلَام) cried so much that he lost his eyesight after all those years of losing his son, his elder sons said:

They said, “By Allah , you will not cease remembering Joseph until you become fatally ill or become of those who perish.” He said, “I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah , and I know from Allah that which you do not know. O my sons, go and find out about Joseph and his brother and despair not of relief from Allah . Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people.” [Quran: 12:85-87]

Turn to Allah in sincere dua. No one else can heal your pain and give peace to your heart.

اللَّهُمَّ مُصَرِّفَ الْقُلُوبِ صَرِّفْ قُلُوبَنَا عَلَى طَاعَتِكَ

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: “Verily, the hearts of all the sons of Adam are between the two fingers out of the fingers of the Compassionate Lord as one heart. He turns that to any (direction) He likes. Then Allahs Messenger (ﷺ) said: 0 Allah, the Turner of the hearts, turn our hearts to Thine obedience.” [Hadith; Sahih Muslim 265]

Journal to face and deal with your emotions so you don’t become hopeless

Writing to process your feelings is another helpful technique to help deal with your emotions and your grief ive found this out this week from advice from a sister who lost her father recently. She said that Writing out your thoughts and confusions will help sort them out, journals about your feelings from day to day, use gratitude journalings to focus on the blessings even at such difficult times, write letters to your loved one as if you are talking to them. All of this helps deal with the emotions and grief just as talking or counselling does as well.

“And that to your Lord is the finality. And that it is He who makes laugh and weep.” [Quran; 53:42-43]

Find meaning / gratitude in your life again and create the required changes

Grief expert, David Kessler says, “meaning comes through finding a way to sustain your love for the person after their death while you’re moving forward with your life. Loss is simply what happens to you in life. Meaning is what you make happen.”

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbas said: “When a young daughter of the Messenger of Allah was dying, the Messenger of Allah picked her up and held her to his chest, then he put his hand on her, and she died in front of the Messenger of Allah. Umm Ayman wept and the Messenger of Allah said ‘Oh Umm Ayman, do you weep while the Messenger of Allah is with you?’ She said: ‘Why shouldn’t I weep when the Messenger of Allah is weeping.” So the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said “Verily, I am not weeping. Rather it is compassion.’ Then the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: ‘The believer is fine whatever the situation; even when his soul is being pulled from his body and he praises Allah, the Mighty and Sublime”‘ [Hadith; Sunan an-Nasa’i 1843]

Finding meaning cannot erase your grief; pain is a natural reaction to intense loss. However, it can help you move forward. The loss of someone or something dear to you can often lead to reevaluating your priorities in life. Allowing this loss to push you toward positive changes in your life is one of the most profound ways of creating meaning. Gratitude is one of the qualities of a believer. Gratitude is tied closely to the concept of patience. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it. [Hadith; Sahih Muslim 2999]

Gratitude is also an attitude during adversity. Although difficult to see, there are always blessings that accompany a difficult time. Look for the blessings and ease that Allah has brought with this difficulty. May be things were easier than they could have been, may be there were eases in other areas of your life, may be this test drew you closer to Allah (swt), may be it allowed you to reflect on the reality of your life and allowed you to give more in charity, may be it became a means of wiping away your sins and earning you reward.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “When a man’s child dies, Allah, the Exalted, asks His angels, ‘Have you taken out the life of the child of My slave?’ and they reply in the affirmative. He (SWT) then asks, ‘Have you taken the fruit of his heart?’ and they reply in the affirmative. Thereupon He asks, ‘What did my slave say?’ They say: ‘He praised You and said: Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return).’ Allah says: ‘Build a house for my slave in Jannah and name it Baitul-Hamd (the House of Praise).”‘ [Hadith; Riyad as-Salihin 922]

Know that sadness doesn’t last forever even if the memories do

“For indeed, with hardship ease. Indeed, with hardship ease.” [Quran; 94:6]

Remember this promise of Allah. Remember that every moment of sadness and pain, no matter how overwhelming, is a part of the process of healing. Instead of focusing on the stretch of days ahead of you with this loss feeling like a looming storm cloud over your future, focus on the one step you can take today to get through the day. When experiencing feelings of depression, putting one foot in front of the other can make a huge difference. Get adequate sleep and eat healthy. Your body and well-being are an amānah from Allah that you need to take care of. Find time to decompress, however that might work for you. For some people this may include praying, making dua, reading, art, working out, or engaging in a hobby.

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Umar said: “I was with the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and a man from among the Ansar came to him and greeted the Prophet (ﷺ) with Salam. Then he said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, which of the believers is best?’ He said: ‘He who has the best manners among them.’ He said: ‘Which of them is wisest?’ He said: ‘The one who remembers death the most and is best in preparing for it. Those are the wisest.’” [Hadith; Ibn Majah 160]

Go through happy memories you experienced with them and remember your loved one in good words

Narrated Abu Al-Aswad: I came to Medina when an epidemic had broken out. While I was sitting with `Umar bin Al-Khattab a funeral procession passed by and the people praised the deceased. `Umar said, “It has been affirmed to him.” And another funeral procession passed by and the people praised the deceased. `Umar said, “It has been affirmed to him.” A third (funeral procession) passed by and the people spoke badly of the deceased. He said, “It has been affirmed to him.” I (Abu Al-Aswad) asked, “O chief of the believers! What has been affirmed?” He replied, “I said the same as the Prophet (ﷺ) had said, that is: if four persons testify the piety of a Muslim, Allah will grant him Paradise.” We asked, “If three persons testify his piety?” He (the Prophet) replied, “Even three.” Then we asked, “If two?” He replied, “Even two.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 1368]

Remembering the happy times you had with your deceased loved ones can be a bittersweet experience. Many will talk about how this can have a healing effect, others mention how it rekindles the pain in their heart. Sometimes different reactions may also depend on where you are on your grief journey. Remembering the good times you had with your loved one can help you in dealing with the grief and with slowly learning to remember them without always feeling the pain of separation. Reminding yourself that you still have hope of reuniting with them in the hereafter is another way to help you process the pain you are feeling.

It was narrated that ‘Aishah said: “Something bad was said in the presence of the Prophet about a person who had died. He said: ‘Do not say anything but good about your dead.”‘ [Hadith; Sunan an-Nasa’i 1935]

Make dua for your loved one and give charity on their behalf

Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) said: “A man will be raised in status in Paradise and will say: ‘Where did this come from?’ And it will be said: ‘From your son’s praying for forgiveness for you.'” [Hadith; Sunan Ibn Majah 3660]

Channel your grief in a productive way and think about what you can do for your loved one now. One of the ways we can benefit our deceased loved ones is by making sincere dua for them. We can also benefit our deceased loved ones by giving charity on their behalf.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “When a man dies, his deeds come to an end except for three things: Sadaqah Jariyah (ceaseless charity); a knowledge which is beneficial, or a virtuous descendant who prays for him (for the deceased).” [Hadith; Riyad as-Salihin 1383]

Seek help and support others

Seek social support, go to counselling and therapy, talk to friends about how you feel. Attend a bereavement group if you can so you can see how others in your situation are coping. Check Children of Jannah or Eternal Gardens for bereavement support. One major indicator that someone needs professional help is if they demonstrate an impaired ability to function in their day-to-day life with their family, at work, socially, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually. Again, this doesn’t mean that the person is mentally ill, but that they would likely benefit from talking to someone with expertise in the field of mental health.

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor. Whoever fulfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfill his needs; whoever brought his (Muslim) brother out of a discomfort, Allah will bring him out of the discomforts of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever screened a Muslim, Allah will screen him on the Day of Resurrection.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 2442]

The aim of ta’ziyah is to strengthen the broken-hearted and give them hope at a time when their hope may be waning; it is to lighten the load of the bereaved. After the intense sadness of losing someone you care for deeply, you have the unique ability to empathize with the struggles others face in similar circumstances. Here are some things you can do for grieving families: Spend time with them without imposing yourself as a guest and expecting them to host you with food and drink. Offer to help by buying groceries, doing household chores, or watching their children.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Prepare food for the family of Ja’far for there came upon them an incident which has engaged them. [Hadith; Sunan Abi Dawud 3132]

Do what helps you through your journey of grief. Remember no two journeys are the same, so listen to your heart and give it what it needs. Sometimes you may need time to be alone, sometimes you may need to be around others you love. Sometimes you may need to talk about them, sometimes you may just need to sit quietly with your own thoughts. May Allah heal your pain, calm your heart and reunite you with your loved one in the hereafter.

I hope this helps who ever needs it see this right now...

Rest in peace my beautiful son Hamza until we meet again in jannah 🤲🤲

#islam #coping with grief #losses #allah #grief/mourning #prophet muhammad #hadith #holy quran

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heavyhitterheaux · 2 years

Text

Five Years In and a Lifetime To Go

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, 2forwoyne, druski2funny, saweetie, claybornharlow, yungskylark, and 3,730,921 others

y/ninsta: happy five year anniversary to the prettiest husband that I've ever had. Can't even put into words how much I love and adore you and I need to stop before I cry. Ever since I was fifteen, I knew you were it for me. jackharlow I love your annoying ass so much it hurts, now come give me kisses! 🥰

jackharlow: y/ninsta first off, the prettiest you've ever had!? you got something you wanna share with the class? The class meaning ME! And I love you too with your cry baby ass 😘

claybornharlow: jackharlow you know she was married to me first

jackharlow: claybornharlow do not fucking start claybornharlow: 👀

saweetie: happy anniversary to my favorite couple in the entire universe 💖

privategarden: happy anniversary and we wish you two many many more

y/ninsta: jackharlow um nope. nothing to share.

jackharlow: y/ninsta 🤨

jackharlowsource: oh so they are still married! Happy anniversary!

jackandy/naremyparents: we love yall! Happy anniversary!

maggieharlow: I called it when they were sixteen lol happy anniversary you two. Love you 💖 allthingsy/n: five years in! happy anniversary! even though we are still very confused about the whole dua and bryson thing jackharlow: allthingsy/n and yall can stay confused. the harlows don't clear up rumors. yall can think what yall want. allthingsy/n: jackharlow well damn urbandjack24: allthingsy/n well we all know jack said he never left his wife's p*ssy so I guess it's safe to say that we have nothing to worry about y/ninsta: jackharlow my baby telling it like it is 😉 mortirolo: happy anniversary! I adore the both of you! jackharlow: mortirolo let's see how long this lasts with you being nice to me mortirolo: jackharlow as long as you don't hurt my baby girl there is nothing to worry about. but, sleep with one eye open just in case danivalentine: NICOLE! STOP IT! softtcurse: happy anniversary! even though me and y/ninsta should be married but I'll take what I can get urbanwyatt: YASMIN! softtcurse: imma see myself out

Liked by y/ninsta, danivalentine, urbanwyatt, quiiso, nemoachida, neelamthadhani, estgee, shloob_, and 3,459,182 others

jackharlow: my entire universe in one picture. happy anniversary my baby. five years in and a lifetime to go. wouldn't want to be doing life with anyone else and you have my word that you will want for nothing with me and be treated like the queen you are. I love you until the end of time and even after that 😘

y/ninsta: jackharlow 🥺🥺🥺

lilnasx: not Jack making me cry and this message isn't even for me lmao happy anniversary to my parents

druski2funny: lilnasx they were mine first

urbanwyatt: soul mate shit if I ever seen it. I love yall 💖

dualipa: happy anniversary to me and y/ninsta! I love you boo!

jackharlow: dualipa you have 5 seconds to delete that comment

dualipa: jackharlow no.

y/ninsta: dualipa love you too!

jackharlow: Y/N!!!!! y/ninsta: jackharlow yes big baby? jackharlow: y/ninsta you better stop playing with me y/ninsta: jackharlow or what? urbanwyatt: NO. PLEASE NO. STOP IT. jackharlow: y/ninsta you know exactly what y/ninsta: jackharlow BRING IT urbanwyatt: yeah imma head out early because absolutely not shloob_: jackharlow if you ever need to hide from y/ninsta say the word. but happy anniversary! quiiso: and we all know y/ninsta still wears the pants in the relationship jackharlow: I'm not doing this with yall today smh yungskylark: jackharlow we call it like we see it. I hope our favorite couple sees many more years y/ninsta: yungskylark well duh! jackharlow can try some shit if he wants. I'll knock all this shit over. YOUR ASS IS STUCK WITH ME. urbanwyatt: does anyone remember when y/ninsta got drunk and tried to burn their marriage license and screamed at the top of her lungs to jackharlow good luck returning me without the receipt? lmaooooooo funniest shit EVER jackharlow: urbanwyatt no not funny. I had to chase her ass down jumping over couches and shit so that she didn't burn it. her little legs were on some usain bolt type shit that night it took me forever to catch her and yall were just laughing at my pain and y/ninsta wouldn't want to be stuck with anyone else shloob_: that shit was HILARIOUS claybornharlow: you should have let her burn it so we could get married again jackharlow: claybornharlow square the fuck up danivalentine: and she didn't remember the next day lmaoooo all I remember was jackharlow shooting daggers at her every time she looked at him and she was so confused quiiso: PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE RECORDED THAT urbanwyatt: quiiso you know I have it lmaoooo saweetie: yeah imma need that one in the group chat lmao jackharlow: y/ninsta you better not EVER do that shit again y/ninsta: jackharlow not my fault yall left me around matches

danivalentine: happy anniversary. Lil Bit stole your heart and you haven't looked back 💖

jackharlow: danivalentine wouldn't have it any other way

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, sza, danivalentine, mortirolo, druski2funny, saweetie, and 1,294,056 others

y/ninsta: woke up and went downstairs to see this. jackharlow you outdid yourself this year, thank you for loving me the way you do 💖

jackharlow: and not stopping any time soon. you deserve all that and more, words can't express how much I love you 🥰

urbanwyatt: I was stressed as hell and it's not even my anniversary. jackharlow put me to work as soon as she went to sleep to make sure everything would be finished when she woke up. y/ninsta I love your dumbass bad and don't you EVER fucking forget it. we didn't go to sleep until four! I don't know how the hell I always get dragged into yall shit smh

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt I love you my urby baby and you are appreciated! jackharlow: yes urbanwyatt thank you for always helping me make sure my girl has the best and what she deserves

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta imma need something in return for all my troubles

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt already done. look on your dresser.

danivalentine: well got damn okay little brother I see you

urbanwyatt: AND THIS ISN'T EVEN ALL OF IT!

2forwoyne: happy anniversary!! and urbanwyatt you should know that it's really three people in that relationship at this point. jackharlow, y/ninsta, and you

urbanwyatt: 2forwoyne it sure fucking feels like it smh saweetie: jackharlow never disappoints when it comes to my bestie lilnasx: look at my parents go 😭 druski2funny: that one bouquet is from me urbanwyatt: druski2funny FROM YOU, MY ASS. I PUT IN ALL THE DAMN WORK. jackharlow: urbanwyatt imma need for you to go spend time with Yasmin to relieve some stress lmaoooo softtcurse: jackharlow keep him. what else did you buy my girl? I'm invested. I'll see him later. urbanwyatt: softtcurse SERIOUSLY?! y/ninsta: jackharlow can you come upstairs now? urbanwyatt: here they fucking go jackharlow: y/ninsta on my way my baby jackharlowsource: 😍😍😍

Taglist:

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#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #instagram au #jack harlow instagram au #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x you

213 notes · View notes

julaibib · 4 years

Note

Are there specific duas or ayahs to recite to find a husband?

Rabbi inni lemaa anzalta elayya min khairin faqeer (Chapter 28, verse 24)

Verse 24 is the Supplication or "Du'a" that everyone needs to read, if not memorize. Whenever, you feel lonely and full of desire for a spouse, or feel the pain of not having a wife or husband, then start reading this dua. Read it standing, sitting, walking, laying, before prayers, after prayers and in any mode of your daily activities and as many times.

"Oh Allah! You have made every living thing in pairs. The sincere, beautiful and pious pair that you have created for me, please give it to me"

(Sayyidna Musa alayhi salaam) escaped from thence, fearing, vigilant. He said: Ya Rab! Deliver me from the wrongdoing folk. ( ayah 21) And when he turned his face toward Midian, he said: Per adventure my Lord will guide me in the right road. (22) And when he came unto the water of Midian he found there a whole tribe of men, watering. And he found apart from them two women keeping back (their flocks). He said: What aileth you? The two said: We cannot give (our flocks) to drink till the shepherds return from the water; and our father is a very old man. (23) So he watered (their flock) for them. Then he turned aside into the shade, and said: My Lord! I am needy of whatever good Thou sendest down for me. (24) So, why does this supplication work so well? Allah ta'ala gives the response in the Quran immediately after this verse:

Then there came unto him one of the two women, walking shyly. She said: Lo! my father biddeth thee, that he may reward thee with a payment for that thou didst water (the flock) for us. Then, when he came unto him and told him the (whole) story, he said: Fear not! Thou hast escaped from the wrongdoing folk. (25) One of the two women said, O my father! Hire him. For the best (man) that thou can hire is the strong, the trustworthy.(26)

Therefore, one can see that Sayyidna Musa alayhi salaam found a spouse and he landed himself a job.

This is a recommendation from some of the righteous who did this and it is not a hadith from the Prophet or something so it is possible to try this supplication

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tabloidtoc · 4 years

Text

Us, January 25

You can now buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Olivia Wilde, Harry Styles and Jason Sudeikis

Page 2: Red Carpet -- drop sleeve romance -- Cynthia Erivo, Margaret Qualley, Aja Naomi King, Eiza Gonzalez

Page 3: Chloe Bennet, Keri Russell, Isla Fisher, Idina Menzel, Kaia Gerber

Page 4: Who Wore It Best? Gigi Hadid vs. Khloe Kardashian, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley vs. Haley Lu Richardson

Page 6: Loose Talk -- Rowan Atkinson on cancel culture, Chrissy Teigen on why she gave up drinking, Busy Philipps on getting used to her 12-year-old child Birdie’s they/them pronouns, Joy Behar resuming her feud with fellow View cohost Meghan McCain who recently returned from maternity leave, Arnold Schwarzenegger on mistaking Chris Pratt for Chris Evans on an Instagram telethon

Page 8: Contents

Page 10: Hot Pics -- Angelina Jolie enjoyed a bit of retail therapy in L.A.

Page 11: Justin Bieber took an electric bike out for a spin while on vacation in Hawaii, Gavin Rossdale holding his beloved dog during an outing in Studio City, Selling Sunset’s Christine Quinn wore pink during a photoshoot in Bel Air

Page 12: Olivia Munn, Tori Spelling got a smooch from her and husband Dean McDermott’s pups in L.A., Emilio Vitolo Jr. and Katie Holmes walked arm-in-arm during a romantic stroll in NYC

Page 13: Emma Slater and Sasha Farber stepped out for some fresh air with their dogs Ruby and Grinch in L.A., Dua Lipa and Anwar Hadid spent their days soaking up the sun while on vacation in Tulum, Mexico

Page 16: Matt Damon was spotted without his wedding ring while visiting BFF Ben Affleck one month after celebrating his 15th anniversary with wife Luciana Barroso in L.A., Sutton Foster filming Younger with Nico Tortorella and Debi Mazar in NYC, during an outing Lisa Rinna took her dance moves to the streets in L.A.

Page 17: Diplo spent the day exploring the ocean during a scuba diving session in Tulum, Bella Thorne and boyfriend Benjamin Mascolo couldn’t keep their hands off each other while playing in the ocean in Tulum

Page 18: Jennifer Lopez works her monochrome magic

Page 20: Winter Wonderland -- ‘tis the season to bundle up -- Kellan Lutz sipping on hot drinks with pregnant wife Brittany in NYC, Irina Shayk posed with a snowman she built in NYC, Kylie Jenner and daughter Stormi kept warm and cozy in fashionable outerwear, Bella Hadid made a snow angel following a storm in NYC

Page 21: Martha Stewart in her snow plow in Bedford in New York, Rebel Wilson hitting the slopes in Aspen, Hilary Duff and Matthew Koma played with their daughter Banks outside in North Reading in Massachusetts, Ciara skiing for the first time during a trip with Vanessa Bryant, Laura Prepon building a snowman

Page 22: Stars They’re Just Like Us -- Wells Adams broke a sweat during an afternoon jog in L.A., Gabrielle Union donated items to her favorite organizations through the Amazon Smile Charity Lists in L.A., Jenny McCarthy checked taking out the trash off her to-do list in Chicago

Page 23: Ellen DeGeneres pedaled to lunch in Santa Barbara, between carrying a huge basket and walking his dog Kuma Justin Theroux has his hands full while out and about in NYC

Page 24: Love Lives -- Emma Stone baby on board

Page 25: Chrissy Metz and boyfriend Bradley Collins met on the dating app Bumble, after spending months in Australia Zac Efron has no plans to return to Hollywood because he’s loving life with girlfriend Vanessa Valladares

Page 26: Hollywood Moms -- Melissa Joan Hart on her three sons Mason and Braydon and Tucker

Page 27: Amber Rose’s sons Sebastian and Slash may be six years apart but she says they have the sweetest bond, Rachel Bilson’s daughter Briar has no idea that dad Hayden Christensen played Darth Vader, Melissa Rycroft has ruled out baby No. 4

Page 28: Hot Hollywood -- Duchess Kate Middleton’s family made her recent birthday very special despite the pandemic -- during her low-key celebration at Anmer Hall she felt the love from Prince William and their kids Prince George and Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis and they gave her a bouquet from the kids and diamond and sapphire earrings from William which she loves -- she even received a card and gifts from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle which was a nice surprise and she may get to thank them in person as Harry and Meghan will reportedly return to the UK in June

Page 29: After months of dating speculation Michael B. Jordan and Lori Harvey finally confirmed their relationship via Instagram when Michael and Steve Harvey’s adopted daughter posted loved-up photos of each other on their accounts

* Nearly 17 years after the Sex and the City series finale aired stars Sarah Jessica Parker and Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis are reprising their roles for a revival called And Just Like That...Noticeably absent from the group is Kim Cattrall who’s had an ongoing feud with Sarah Jessica for years and has been vocal about her decision to never return to the show

* Keeping Up With Us -- Gwen Stefani’s annulment from ex-husband Gavin Rossdale has finally been granted by the Vatican which was a huge relief for Gwen who wants her marriage to Blake Shelton to be recognized by the Catholic Church, Meghan Markle’s estranged dad Thomas Markle says that he’s very pleased with daughter Samantha Markle’s upcoming tell-all book, The Grammys has been delayed to March 14 over coronavirus concerns, Shia LaBeouf and Margaret Qualley have called it quits on their weeks-long whirlwind romance, Dr. Dre said he’s doing great after being hospitalized for a brain aneurysm, Stassi Schroeder and fiance Beau Clark welcomed daughter Hartford Charlie Rose

Page 30: A Day in the Life -- Catherine Lowe

Page 31: Sarah “Fergie” Ferguson has a lot to look forward in 2021 -- not only is she releasing a new book this summer which is a historical fiction novel titled Her Heart For a Compass but the Duchess of York is also preparing to become a first-time grandmother to Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank’s child -- though the little one’s arrival is still weeks away Fergie’s already started passing down her motherly wisdom to her 30-year-old daughter whom she shares with ex-husband Prince Andrew -- as for what she’s hoping to be called by her grandchild she says lots of her friends call her Duch so she thinks it will end up being Duchee

Page 32: Cover Story -- Olivia Wilde’s love triangle -- Olivia’s ex Jason Sudeikis is devastated as her new romance with Harry Styles heats up

Page 36: Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West behind closed doors -- as rumors of impending divorce swirl what’s really happening inside Kim and Kanye’s six-year marriage -- it was extremely draining to keep pretending that their marriage was OK when the whole world could tell it blatantly wasn’t and things between them have gotten so toxic they have no choice but to live apart

Page 38: One for the Ages -- it’s nothing but a number -- these couples don’t mind a May to December romance -- Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, George Clooney and Amal Clooney, Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles

Page 39: Leonardo DiCaprio and Camila Morrone, Jay-Z and Beyonce, David Foster and Katharine McPhee, Holland Taylor and Sarah Paulson

Page 40: Natalie Portman’s lip service with Dior’s wildly popular Rouge Dior Couture lipstick -- she stuns in a series of images that evoke the splendor of Paris and peep the behind-the-scenes moments

Page 42: Entertainment -- The Bachelor Matt James teases what’s to come

Page 43: Dean Hashim of 90 Day Fiance on having a daughter with girlfriend Rigin Bado

Page 46: Fashion Police -- when bad clothes happen to good people -- Miley Cyrus, Bella Hadid, Alia Shawkat

Page 47: A$AP Rocky, Kate Flannery, Tessa Thompson

Page 48: 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me -- Tim Allen

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flowersofjannah · 4 years

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Hi I hope you are well and I pray allah blesses you endlessly. You might not be able to help me or give me good advice but I just need to let this out. My sister has been married to this guy for almost 5 years now and he was a wonderful man but suddenly he changed. He came from a family with no money but moved to America and started making lots of money and I feel like after that, he just completely changed towards my sister. They fight everyday, he doesn’t care if there’s food at home..........

he doesn’t even take care of his two beautiful kids. All he does is hangout with his friends and doesn’t come home till 5am. He has females on all socials and gets angry when my sister tries to do the same thing. I lost my temper once and sent him a bad message and me and him aren’t so close anymore. My parents don’t even care because they’re the ones that forced her to get married! My dad threatened her to be with him and she’s not the same. She’s so stressed and depressed and I’m afraid....

that she will take her own life one day because of all the pain she’s going through. I hate my brother in law for doing this to her. My parents never want me getting involved but they don’t even care enough to help their own daughter. All they care about is keeping him with her so “people won’t talk when she gets divorced”. He’s constantly putting her down and making her feel insecure about herself and always making fun of her. My heart hurts for my sister, there’s nothing I can do :’(

__________________________________________✧

Assalamu ‘alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Uff :( This is such a tough situation. Don’t think so ill of your parents, maybe they are scared of a consequence that you have not thought of. It’s not that they don’t care, but they feel it’s the better of the 2 options. They have experienced things differently as us, hence they think differently too. I am not saying what they are doing is correct but they are her parents, they obviously care and are hurt about her situation even if they may not show it.

Parents have a lot of rights upon us but forcing their child to a live a life they do not wish to live is not one of them. I feel the one of the few things you can try to do is to get through to your parents. Help them understand that what is going on isn’t right. Society will talk bad no matter who or what you are. Why should we live for society? What did society give us? Her happiness is what matters at the end of the day and that shouldn’t be sacrificed for the sake of society. If getting divorced should give her a bad name in society, that’s still better than her living with no happiness. What’s the point of such a marriage? It’s better she will be the talk of the town for two days, then everyone will forget rather than living a life of misery. Show concern of her being depressed and possibly suicidal. Is this situation really worth her being pushed to the edge of her limits? How will they feel if she decides to harm herself? Help them understand that heir support is what will give her happiness and will help her to face the world. You cannot protect a child in this way. Allah Subhana wa Ta’ala gave every man and woman the right to divorce, knowing full well of every consequence that comes with it. No one is allowed to take away the rights Allah Subhana wa Ta’ala gave us.

But you have to be extremely wise and gentle. You have to use good words and a good tone. Words are powerful, so choose wisely. Help them understand that they should also trust Allah, that Allah will give her better. You have to be very patient, it is definitely not easy to get somebody to change their mindset and it’s extremely frustrating. May Allah help you to act wisely, ameen.

If I were in your place, I would also make sure my sister knows I’m with her no matter what decision she takes. Reach out to her often. Make dua relentlessly that Allah will give her what is best for her.

May Allah make things easy upon your family and decree for your sister happiness, ameen. Put your trust in Him, He is Al-Azeez, the most powerful. Make dua your brother-in-law realizes his wrongful behavior and returns to being the wonderful husband he once was. Perhaps something you do not know about also caused him to react this way, maybe some prior marital issue. Allahu ‘alam. Try to be smart in this situation, sometimes we do things out of emotion that cause us regret later.

With you sister’s permission, if you know someone else who can help in this situation, such as an elderly person, your parents siblings, a religious leader, an arbitrator, a counselor, or anyone you feel would be of good help, reach out to them.

I have a friend who went through similar, I will ask for her advice and post an update on this post - Update: she stated that sometimes parents make mistakes and you have to stand up for yourself, there’s no other way.

My heart pains for you and your sister, may Allah relieve the situation, ameen. Don’t forget to take care of yourself as well. May Allah protect you all, ameen.

“And whoever is conscious of Allah, He will make for him a way out, And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.”

— Holy Quran, 65:2-3

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islamicrays · 5 years

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Salaam, (Pt 1.) I'm not sure where to turn. I feel so horrible. I keep talking to guys and end up falling into their trap of them making me feel special but I end up giving too much and not getting what I need (commitment) in return. I keep sinning and I know it's wrong at the time but I don't understand how I keep falling for it. I feel so low, Allah swt has been so gracious to me in concealing me and I feel like I deserve to be punished and I am so afraid.

Walaikum Assalaam,

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is the most forgiving and merciful. Don't despair of His mercy. These are whisper of shaitan that's make us despair of His mercy. No matter how many time you sin; return to Him.

(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”(Quran 39:53)

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala already written our spouse name so don't compromise your values. If something is written then you will eventually get in halal way. You don't need to chase or go through haram means. Marriage is something that will happen when Allah Subhanahuwa ta’ala wills. So keep trying to find a righteous spouse and leave the rest to Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala. Don’t get depressed and don’t lose hope. Always remember Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala plans are better than our wishes. Marriage is not the purpose of life; it’s a mean to get closer to Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala.

This is the best time to work on your relationship with Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala. As you get married your responsibilities will also get increased. So prepare yourself for that responsibility, gain Islamic knowledge, and read about the rights of husband, wife and children because when you say yes for the marriage, you have agreed that you are ready to take the responsibility. Remember this life is a test and we are all tested through different trials. It’s also a test that you have to abstain yourself from haram and be patient.

Following are some dua for marriage:

1.“Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.“ (Quran 25:74)

2.”Rabbana aatina fi’d dunya hasana wa fi’l aakhirati hasana wa qina `adhab an-nar.” [O Lord! Grant us good in this life, and good in the next, and save us from the torment of the Fire] (Qur’an, 2: 200). Recite this dua’ with the intention of marriage as it is included in the phrase “fi’d dunya hasana” (good in this life).

3.My Lord, do not leave me alone and You are the best of inheritors. (Surah al-Anbiya` 21:89)

Read this post on the guidelines of seeking spouse. It will help in shaa Allah

May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant you a righteous spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes.

Allahumma Ameen

#question

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sakhinahowlader · 4 years

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Is it just 4 or are there more?

Kinship is a culture's arrangement of perceived family roles and connections that characterize the commitments, rights, and limits of communication among the individuals from a self-perceiving gathering. Kinship and family ties might be characterized through hereditary connections, selection, or other ritualized conduct, for example, marriage and family economies. Kinship frameworks go in size from a solitary, family unit to ancestral or intertribal connections. Kinship can be added when a new addition to the family is introduced. Social attitudes toward marriage between first cousins is a case of a culturally built connection and family standard, with cousin marriage thought about alluring in certain societies, however denied as incest by others.

If you think about immediate family then my family is really small. It consists of my two loving and amazing parents, and my brother. My brother is a year younger than me, but we’re really close. But if you extend from that, then I have a huge family. In my mom’s side i have 6 aunts and 4 uncles who are all married. In bengali, we have a way to know if the uncle or aunt we’re talking about is either the mom’s side or dad’s. The aunts on my moms side are khalas and the uncles are known as mamas. Of course, their wives and husbands cannot be discluded, so the aunts husbands are khalus and the wives of my uncles are known as mamis. Usually we use their first name and the pretext to call them. As for my cousins, there is a total of 15 cousins and 1 nephew. Everyone in my moms family is pretty young, so unfortunately no extra nieces and nephews yet. On the other hand, for my dad’s sisters, we call them fupis and their husbands fupas, the uncles are called kakas and their wives are kakis. This is a form of respect, ofcourse, otherwise we can just say their name and say aunti last, but this is our culture. My dad has 2 sisters and 5 brothers. From my dad’s side, I have 19 cousins and 16 nieces and nephews. Part of this reason is because my dad’s siblings married pretty early at the age of 17-18.

My mom’s family is very different from my dad’s, I would say more educational and strict. And my dad’s side is a bit artistic. Ever since I was little, I would always get lectured from my mom’s siblings; my aunts and uncles that I need to study hard and do my best. Imagine having that type of pressure at the age of 9. It's pretty crazy. Likewise, the paternal side of my family was also strict but they didn’t pressurize the living life out of me. I am actually glad I get both of their qualities, because I think it shaped me to be who I am today. I have a pretty wild and adventurous life. My family from both sides live in Bangladesh, and a few around the states. But getting back to bangladesh, everytime I went to visit, me and my brother would have a blast. Everyone would take off from their work, and we all would go visit tea gardens or beaches, and mosques. I love mosques, especially old runes. Consider it a tradition or a family thing, but this is something my family and I always do. Half the trip with my moms side and half the trip with my dads side.

Traditions are what we consider as beliefs or customs that are important in families. Traditions keep the memories alive since it is passed on through family to family and generations. It is an aspect of family. I know of many traditions within my family that have been going on for generations. One tradition I know of that has been passed on from my dad's side is once or twice every year they go to schools in Bangladesh and give them money and hope for tournaments just for the fun of that day. My dad explains to me how this was important to him and his family because they really want education to be number 1 in bangladesh. And most cities or villages do not have a way of education. With the money the school creates new places of education that allows children to come and learn, sometimes their organization sends teachers in groups to different villages to teach. A tradition that my mom’s family has passed on to me is telling stories. These stories are not fiction or fantasies, but stories from when my mom was young. My grandfather died a week after I was born, and sadly to say I never got to know what an amazing person he was. My mom's family would tell me and my brother a lot of stories about my grandparents. I loved when my grandmother would tell a story, since she used the moment to rat out all of her kids. This would happen every week on a friday. It was the last day of school for the week and I would always be eager, and enthusiastic to know the new tea. Sometimes we would be on a call which was the funniest part because some aunts and uncles would scream “NOO don’t tell them that.” I remember that would provoke my grandmother or mother to tell the story. I like living with their memories, because I know one day my memories are all that I will have. Additionally, a tradition in both households is when we hold a milad for my dead grandparents. A milad is sort of a feast for the dead. Every year on the day when either grandparents died, my parents would send food to the mosque, in return they would pray for my dead grandparents and their childrens and family members. Not just my parents, my uncles and aunts from both sides would partake in this tradition. From doing this, we bless their soul and receive duas ourselves. “Dua” means an appeal or invocation which is asked during prayer.

In conclusion, kindships aren't a thing without family, and nor is family really a family without traditions, customs and other rituals. There may be love, but only those can bring that bond to a family. Traditions bring families together, some by force, some on its own. Some learn it the easy way, and for some it takes years to realize what family really means. Kindships have their own way of binding people together.

#soc3 #kindship #traditions #p4

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