#EXCEPT OFC WHEN SHE ASKS I IMMEDIATELY FORGET EVERY SONG EVER

[kuiinncedes]

prof asked for music again for our end of meeting team chat blast 🤩😂😌

[trensu]

Episode 44: The One where Su She Gets Rekt

we’re outside of mianmian’s house and omg wwx's face is so cute when he recognizes mianmian. his little pleased grin makes me melt every time

also omg, i just realized that wwx is still wearing lwj’s white inner robes here???

you can see them where you usually see his (sinfully) red inner robes!!!!! 

which means as far as i’m concerned this ENTIRE EPISODE is a wangxiantic in and of itself lolol

mr. mianmian is like, why are you calling my daughter's name??

(i keep forgetting that mianmian's name isn't actually mianmian lol)

i'd be concerned too if some strange guy who was hiding behind our hay bale or whatever the heck that is, knew my kid's name...

wwx is so amused by this turn of events! he's like, awww, mianmian and little mianmian!

which was basically my response too

but ofc lwj is much more formal and does his little bow and addresses her as Lady Luo

wwx: now i know your true name!!

wait, did he really never learn it before?? or did he just forget? both are plausible, tbh

and here mianmian introduces her husband

wwx: may i ask what clan you're from?

mm: oh, he's not from any clan. he's a merchant!

bc mm knew getting tangled up with another clan was just not a good life decision, probs

and she's all he comes with me on night hunts tho and wwx is like, oh is that what you were doing?

little mm: we were looking for the yiling patriarch!

and wwx perks up and gets all playful bc WWX LOVES CHILDREN SO MUCH

wwx: oh, but i heard he eats children. aren't you afraid?

little mm gets all shy and stutter-y and it's ADORABLE

wwx is all like, oh she's so cute! she looks just like you when you were her age

and mm is all, don't you feel bad saying that?? how would you know what i looked like at that age???

we get a shot of lwj and he looks at ease and is simply taking joy in watching wwx interact with these people

same, lwj, same

wwx: how old is she? i'd like to give her some lucky money!

and ofc mr. and mrs. mianmian immediately try to stop him for politeness sake BUT LOL LWJ IS ALREADY REACHING INTO HIS SLEEVE TO GET MONEY FOR THE KID

wwx: don't be so humble. it's not my money anyway~

and he laughs bc he'S SHAMELESS

lwj just hands wwx his purse and lets him take whatever he wants from it. 

what a doting husband-to-be he is!

and then mm does that thing all parents do with small children "what do you say to hanguang jun and master wei?"

little mm: thank you, hanguang jun

SHE'S SO FREAKING CUTE

lwj must agree with me bc he SMILES. it's his little smile, the one that just barely curls up at the corner of his lips, but it's a sincere smile

he's probably remembering lsz when lsz was that age

he's probably thinking about how he wants more children, esp now that wwx is here to raise them with him

Give me all the Dadji fic!

wwx: little mm, i gave you the money. why don't you say thank you to me?

and he puts on this cute little pout but little mm just glares ADORABLY at him bc she SAW who's money it was and she's a clever girl lololol

lwj is amused by that exchange too, we get another one of his little smiles

now they're asking for info on anything unusual around but they get interrupted by some screaming!! mm was all ready to go attack, but lwj said they'd handle it

after they leave, mr. and mrs. mm have a little convo which i wouldn't bother mentioning except she ends it with a very sincere "master wei...is a good man"

BC WWX IS A GOOD MAN AND APPARENTLY SHE'S THE ONLY ONE SENSIBLE ENOUGH TO SEE THAT

turns out the screaming was wen ning!! being adorable!!

he's all covered in mud and grass, and had been trying to scare people off for Reasons

wwx starts cleaning his face 

I LOVE WHEN WWX DOES THAT

HE’S SO LOVING AND NURTURING

lwj watches this go down but there's no smile on his face like there was before with little mm even tho wwx being all sweet and nurturing is always cute

DON'T BE JEALOUS LWJ, DON'T BE THAT GUY

oh, wwx just noticed wn's injured hand and is like, what happened? and wn ofc says 'NOthing!!!" bc he doesn't want to worry wwx

lwj: it's blood.

wn: not blood1! well, it is but it's not human blood!!

he says this so nervously and flustered bc lwj is very intimidating actually 

Or at least I wouldn’t want to get on his bad side...

now we find out that wn has secretly been taking down puppets while following wwx and lwj around this whole time

bc wn is a good friend

then it gets kinda sad bc wwx is like, wn i told you to hide out somewhere! and wn is all, but where would i hide?

bc wn has nowhere and no one aside from wwx rn 😔

so wwx is like, okay, the three of us can travel together instead

Lol, lwj looks down at this and starts stalking off

lwj: lets go

i don't think he's happy to have a third wheel lololol

he wanted alone time with wwx!

WHAT DID I SAY, LWJ?? NO ONE LIKES A GREEN-EYED MONSTER.

now they're in town!

wwx: lan zhan, do you remember this town?

lwj: yes

BC LWJ REMEMBERS ALL OF HIS TIME WITH WWX

BC WWX IS HIS SOULMATE AND HE LOVES HIM

wwx is like, remember that time i said i'd treat you to a meal here?

they're in front of the teahouse in yiling and lwj is looking at it, like, FONDLY bc he DOES remember and it's probably one of his happiest memories tbh

wwx isn't looking at the teahouse, he's looking at lwj here and he gets this soft little smile on his face AND IT'S SO SWEET AND BEAUTIFUL 

ooh flashback to their first time in yiling together! And ~Their Song~ starts playing!!

it's a quick little flashback bc we're back in the present with wwx saying something about how he's embarrassed that lwj ended up paying that time or smth

at wwx's words, lwj turns around and just looks at him. 

Omg, how does he always pack in SO MUCH LOVE in the way he looks at wwx??

another quick flashback of them sharing a meal at the teahouse with cute little a-yuan darting around lwj with his toys

wwx: but that happened a long time ago

and lwj gives a stilted nod bc HE DOESN'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT HOW LONG AGO THAT WAS AND THE FACT THAT WWX WAS GONE ALL THIS TIME

wwx turns and sees the toy stall and he SMILES

OH GOD HOW DOES THIS MAN HAVE SUCH BEAUTIFUL SMILES

but then he gets sad as he remembers a-yuan

wwx: if that boy were still alive, he would be a teenager now

Bc wwx still thinks all the wens died. He thinks little a-yuan was BRUTALLY MURDERED with the rest of his clan

MY POOR DARLING SUNSHINE BOY

then we get a bit of slo-mo as lwj turns to look at wwx, who's still lost in thought

AND HE DOESN'T MENTION THAT LSZ IS ALIVE AND WELL???

WHAT HECK LWJ

THAT WAS A PERFECT OPENING

ALL YOU HAD TO SAY WAS "YEAH, FUNNY STORY, HE'S ACTUALLY NOT DEAD. SURPRISE!! I RESCUED HIM AND RAISED HIM AS MY OWN SON AND GAVE HIM ALL THE LOVE I COULD POSSIBLY GIVE BC HE WAS YOUR SON AND ALL I HAD LEFT OF YOU AND HE SAVED MY LIFE AS MUCH AS I SAVED HIS"

DAMN IT, LWJ. USE YOUR WORDS!!

cut to somewhere outside the town and wn is beating up a whole bunch of puppets all by himself like a badass

oh, here's lwj with the assist! he guqin's the heck out of those puppets

he looks so cool doing that, omg

Also, i love how he whooshes away his instrument whenever he's done with it

we're at the burial mounds!!

which is looking just as bright and cheery as ever!!

meaning everything is gray and looks dead

wwx gets really sad, and he's remembering the voices of all the wens he failed

IT HURTS TO SEE HIM THIS MELANCHOLY

MY SUNSHINE BOY SHOULD ONLY EVER BE HAPPY AND SMILEY, DAMN IT 

wn snaps him out of it, thankfully

lwj explains how everything was destroyed during the siege back then

he doesn't mention at all how he defended this place until he physically couldn't anymore

wwx: it doesn't matter that this place was destroyed. for me, wq, and wn, it represents the hardest time in our lives. there's no need to return to this place

wwx says this all soberly and i just wanna wrap him up in blankets and hide him from the world

BC THE WORLD DOESN'T DESERVE MY PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY. 

LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO  HIM!!

THEY BROKE HIS HEART!!! THEY’RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE HIM ANYMORE.

lwj looks like he feels the same way, lol

wwx: wen ning, stop looking. let's go

wn: yes, young master. i just wanted to check if there's anything left

which was ANOTHER PERFECT OPENING for lwj to cut in and say "ACTUALLY, ABOUT THAT, a-yuan is totally alive and well, guys!!"

but nooooo, ofc lwj doesn't say anything bc god forbid he use his words every once in awhile

oh, evil puppets just appeared and started attacking 

But wn is like NOT TODAY SATAN and starts pummeling the lot of them

ooooh, and lwj does this thing here where he summons up a guqin string and, like, magically attaches it to a couple of trees 

Then wwx tells wn to watch out and wn does this cool backflip to join wwx as lwj TWIRLS forward to take wn's place

and then he magically plucks the guqin string which lets out this big blue blast of energy 

the whole move looks SO DAMN COOL

HE EVEN DOES LIKE, A FINISHING POSE LIKE ALL GOOD SUPERHEROES DO LOL

After, he whooshes away his string like nbd, just being effortlessly awesome like ALWAYS

now they're making their way to wwx's demon palace cave thing, and lwj stops to freaking MATERIALIZE suibian out of thin air and give it to wwx

it looks SO cool

lwj: for defense

wwx: thank you

wwx unsheathes it just enough so we can see the inscription on the blade before re-sheathing it and keeping it at his side

lwj gives him a Questioning Look and wwx gets a little awkward

wwx: ah, i haven't used a sword in so long, i'm not used to it

his eyes are all big and guileless and gorgeous

GOD HOW IS HE SO BEAUTIFUL

lwj is not as easily distracted as i am, apparently, and he very obviously is not buying with wwx is selling

wwx: fine, i'll tell you. it's bc this body of mine lacks spiritual power, so even the best sword can't show it's true power in my hand

lol, he raises up suibian when he says "the best sword"

i am so distracted by wwx's gorgeous cheekbones here, 

omg, paired with those big brown eyes, I CAN'T HANDLE IT I'M ONLY HUMAN

wwx: therefore, hanguang jun, please protect this fragile, feeble man~

he says it with a thin smile which looks as adorable as all his other smiles

Tbh i get the impression that he's a little embarrassed to have to ask for help

NOT THAT HE EVEN NEEDED TO ASK BC LWJ IS ALREADY WILLING TO PROTECT HIM FROM ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME

wwx walks around past lwj and we see lwj aim one of his signature Longing Glances at wwx's back

now we're in wwx's old demon palace cave thing!!

AND WE SEE THE JUNIORS ARE ALL TIED UP AND TRAPPED THERE

HELLO, JUNIORS!! WE'VE MISSED YOUR PRECIOUS BABY FACES

lol, lsz and jl are tied to one another, my sweet little baby ship

you know what, this isn't wangxian at all but the juniors have some choice lines here and we should take the time to appreciate them

ljy: what do they even want? whether it's to torture or kill us, they should just do it! i'd rather be eaten by monsters during night hunting than starve to death in this shithole

LOLOL SAME LJY SAME

death by starvation has got to be one of the WORST ways to go

rando jin junior starts running his mouth again and we see jin ling close his eyes and attempt to do a breathing exercise or smth and IT'S HILARIOUS LOLOLOLOL

LOOK AT MY BRATTY SON TRYING TO CONTROL HIS TEMPER

it lasts like, two seconds before he's yelling at the other kid and telling him to shut up

rando jin junior is all offended and is like, what do you mean shut up??

so my precious bratty son is like, "what do i mean? are you deaf or stupid? can't you understand? shut up means STOP TALKING"

I LOVE JIN LING SO MUCH

MY DARLING BRAT OF A SON

they bicker for a bit and lsz cuts in trying to make them stop by pointing out that, hello, they're trapped in here by evil puppets who could decide to come in and tear them to pieces literally any minute now

the distraction tactic didn't work. the boys are trying to beat each other up whilst being tied up and it's HILARIOUS

THAT'S THE MOST PATHETIC FIGHT I'VE EVER SEEN, BOYS.

meanwhile lsz is like: guys, calm down, calm down!!

bc he's tied to jl so he's getting all jostled around, poor sweetie-pie lsz 

and this is when wwx decides to step in, with a long suffering sigh and a very unamused: hey, look here.

THE WAY LSZ AND LJY'S FACES LIGHT UP WHEN THEY SEE LWJ NEVER GETS OLD

also it cracks me up how there's a breeze elegantly rustling through wwx's and wn's hair. 

it's so obviously for the Aesthetic bc literally nobody else's hair is doing that 😆😆😆 

ALSO ALSO, OMG WWX IS SO FREAKING HILARIOUS HERE

Wwx unsheathes suibian and hands it to wn KNOWING THAT ALL THESE KIDS ARE TERRIFIED OF THE FEARSOME GHOST GENERAL

AND THE KIDS ALL START PANICKING AS WN TAKES THE SWORD AND STALKS TOWARDS THEM

and wn ning totally plays along bc he slices through those ropes in the most menacing way possible AND ALL THE KIDS SLAM THEIR EYES CLOSED AND HAVE A FULL-BODY FLINCH AND IT'S HILARIOUS

wwx gets sulky that the kids seem more scared of wn than him lol

we see the dumber kids make a break for it but oyzz, with his big kind heart, stops them bc hey, remember there's a horde of evil puppets outside??

lol, wwx smirks at the dumb kids.

lsz: master wei, you're here to save us! you didn't send people to capture us right?

and wwx is like, do i LOOK like i have that kind of money?

lsz is like, ah, yes, i remember that you are TRAGICALLY POOR.

kid doesn't pull punches, does he lol. and he says it so mildly too

wwx's whole reaction here is like, yeah okay, i deserved that one lol

wwx starts grilling the kids for info, which ljy gladly provides, and lwj gives him and lsz a "well done" for their efforts

oooh, now jin ling is approaching wwx

lwj sees him out of the corner of his eye and IMMEDIATELY places himself in front of wwx

which cracks me up bc this is a full grown man here squaring up against a kid who's like, twelve (okay, 16 but still!)

ofc lsz and ljy follow lwj's lead and put themselves between jl and wwx too

wwx thinks they're all being ridiculous

wwx: what are you guys doing? you're surrounding him.

so he nudges the lan kids away and then grabs lwj's upper arm and literally tugs him away from where he was about to throw hands with a child

ljy: you want to stab him again?

lsz: jingyi!

thank you, lsz, tell him to leave my bratty son alone ☹️

wwx essentially waves it all off and is like, hey guys lets focus on getting out of here first, yeah?

jin ling looks ashamed, my poor boy. he feels all guilty for stabbing wwx 😞

now they're plot talking about how they're gonna get out of the cave, what with the horde of evil puppets and all

they make it to the entrance of the cave and we see a whole bunch of cultivators drop in for a party, i guess

oyzz: dad! *runs off to be with dad*

jc: jin ling what are you waiting for? your death?

I LOVE WATCHING JC BE AN UNCLE TO JL

HE'S SO ANGRY WITH HIS AFFECTION LOLOL

oh hey, one of the rando juniors called out "mom!"

that's so cool actually??? we don't really get a lot of lady cultivators but apparently one of them is there to save her kid!!

uh oh, Uncle Lan does not look happy to be here

lwj leads all the lan juniors to lqr and he bows politely to him 

the lan juniors all join lqr and stand behind him but lwj very pointedly stands before lqr and makes no move to get closer to him as wwx joins him at his side

lqr: wangji, come here

lwj looks at him briefly, like he wants to say something, before looking down 

bc no, he's not leaving wwx's side ever again lqr, so you better get used to it

now some rando lady cultivator is shouting at lwj. she's all "you're undeserving of your reputation!!"

and i'm sitting here like, HEY LADY, WATCH YOUR MOUTH OR COME FIGHT ME

YOU KNOW NOTHING, LADY, NOTHING AT ALL

wwx interrupts her rant 

wwx: here you go again!

he probs would've said more but then jc interrupts

jc: we have to do this

and he probs wouldve said more but FUCKING SU SHE INTERRUPTS AS IF HE HAS ANY VALUE AT ALL

LOL JC’s eyes slide over from wwx to su she and he looks at su she WITH SUCH CONTEMPT AND IRRITATION, IT'S GREAT

THAT'S HOW I LOOK AT SU SHE ALL THE TIME LOLOLOL

ss: blah blah we found you cuz you stole kids blah blah 

and wwx is like, EXCUSE YOU, I JUST SAVED THOSE KIDS' LIVES. HOW ABOUT SAYING THANK YOU???

now wwx is gonna get clever and start talking circles around this crew of idiot cultivators

wwx: your party seems a bit weak, guys. shouldn't jgy and lxc be here with you?

ss: blah blah assassination attempt against jgy blah blah lxc is tenderly nursing him back to health blah blah

then su she implies that wwx was the one who tried to kill jgy

STFU SU SHE

wwx snorts

ss: why are you laughing??

wwx: oh, nothing. i was just surprised that jgy could get hurt so easily

and here we get some oyzz time

oyzz: dad, i don't think he really did it. last time, he saved us in coffin town. this time, he rescued us too!

oyzz's dad: don't speak nonsense, you silly child

YOU WANNA GO, OYZZ'S DAD? DON'T TALK TO THE BOY THAT WAY, I WILL FIGHT YOU.

wwx: why didn't the nie clan come?

Nhs pops in from where he was hiding: oh, pardon me! master wei, i don't know anything about this. i'm just here to make up the numbers

ILU NHS, I'M PERSONALLY GONNA GIVE YOU AN ANCIENT FANTASY CHINA OSCAR

LOL i love how after popping up to say that, he just scoots himself away and behind the other cultivators again

now the idiot cultivators are airing their grievances against wwx

ugh, sect leader yao is talking again and we get to see mob mentality in action

GOD THEY ALL NEED TO STFU

BUNCH OF LOSER NOBODIES

they're still hurling accusations at my sunshine boy and it's making me angry

wwx: I won't admit to what i didn't do

YOU TELL ‘EM, WWX!!

Fucking su she chimes in with some bullshit and so wwx decides to do a public service and try to teach these losers some critical thinking skills by laying out Valid Points for Plot Reasons

Lesson gets cut short bc oops, here come more evil zombie puppets with a strong gust of wind for ambience

LOOK AT JC GO WITH THAT ZIDIAN

LOVE LOVE LOVE IT

but it fails on it's second strike!! jc looks at it in shock, like what's going on??

wwx must've seen that happen bc suddenly we see his flute boomerang the puppet that was headed for jc

and wwx places himself in front of him BC THAT'S HIS BROTHER, THE BROTHER HE LOVES

AND HE'S SO WORRIED FOR HIM WHEN HE SEES JC SPIT UP BLOOD

YUNMENG BROOOOOSSSSSSS *SOB*

oh, now we see lqr spit up blood and lwj, being the good nephew that he is, swoops in to fight off the puppets that had been attacking his uncle

god, lwj is such a good person  bc he just blocked a hit aimed for sect leader yao

Sect leader yao

LWJ PROTECTED SECT LEADER YAO

LWJ TRULY IS AN HONORABLE MAN BC I WOULD'VE LET THAT HIT KILL HIM AND BEEN LIKE, OOPS, TOTALLY MISSED THAT, MY BAD

i mean, c'mon, is ANYONE gonna miss him if he dies??? no, nobody would be torn up over sect leader yao dying

his wake would have been a party, like ding dong the witch is dead sort of party

lol, lwj probs regrets this later on when he’s chief cultivator and has to listen to that loser rant endlessly about nothing, like, damn, i should’ve let him die back then

you know, i'm just gonna enjoy lwj fighting. he's got the best fight scenes tbh

we find out that everyone's spiritual energy has been blocked and they're defenseless against those puppets

lsz tells them all that they need to get into the cave where there's a protective circle they can fix and activate

then fucking su she is all like no don't go in there, it's probs a trap to kill us!!

SHUT UP SU SHE

wwx: staying outside will get you killed. going inside will also get you killed. either way, you're dead. but at least going inside will stall them.

wwx: su she, why are you in such a hurry to ask everyone to die with you? What’s your intent?

GET REKT SU SHE

Lol nhs is like are you guys going in or not? i'll just go inside myself if you won't and all his cultivators are like, yeah yeah, let's do that 

everyone's fleeing to the cave now except for su she and his crew

wwx: su she, you'll stay here? fine, stay here. You sure are brave!

THE WAY WWX SAYS THAT THO, THICK WITH MOCKERY AND SARCASM

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

while all the cultivators go into the cave lwj and wn are still fighting until everyone's gone

wwx: lan zhan, come on!

BC EVERYONE'S MADE IT INSIDE NOW AND LWJ NEEDS TO COME WITH HIM AND STAY SAFE!!

lwj slices down two more puppets and then zooms to wwx's side

lqr activates the protective circle and then holds wwx (and by extension lwj) at sword point

lwj: grand master

lwj looks at him like he wants him to understand, but he sees the lqr is not having it so he lowers his gaze

poor lwj 😔

lqr: what do you want?

wwx: nothing. but since you're all here let's have a chat!

lol, wwx sits down and makes himself comfortable even tho he's surrounded by cultivators that want him dead

The cultivators are all like, we don't wanna talk with you!!

wwx: aren't you interested in the reason you got poisoned? i swear, i'm not that capable of poisoning you all without being discovered

nhs: that's right. i think what he says makes sense

nhs is really good at what he does, isn't he? 

he knows exactly when he should interject to get the crowd to do as he wants

wwx starts to walk them through the basic critical thinking process, and lsz adds in his clever insights as well

then there's a bunch of plot talk that idc about

nhs: master wei, what should we do now?

NHS IS SO GOOD AT WHAT HE DOES OMG

Wwx is like, there's only two groups with spiritual power. me and lwj are onE group, and the juniors are the other group.

wwx: as for the rest, i don't think it's inappropriate to describe you as week and useless

I DON'T THINK IT'S INAPPROPRIATE TO DESCRIBE YOU AS WEAK AND USELESS

LOLOLOL LOVING THIS

wwx: if i really wanted to do something, could these young men stop me?

then fucking su she starts talking again

ss: blah blah blah kill me if you want blah blah we aint scared blah blah

Man, you have NO IDEA how much i want you dead, su she

wwx: may i ask who you are?

GET REKT SU SHE

wwx starts teaching them critical thinking again and we're again shown how the juniors are way more clever that these full-fledged cultivators

wwx looks so proud whenever the juniors chime in

su she starts talking again

ss: blah blah you're being fooled by the enemy blah blah bl--

AND THEN HE STOPS MID-SENTENCE

wwx: continue. why'd you stop?

some rando cultivator accuses wwx of doing that to su she and wwx is ADORABLE about it

his eyes get all wide and he frowns with a "well, don't look at me!" expression

HE'S SO CUTE, I LOVE HIM

and lsz and ljy tell us that it's a lan clan specialty - THE SILENCE SPELL

AND WE CUT TO A SHOT OF LWJ COMPLETELY BLANK FACED AS HE TELLS WWX TO CONTINUE

LIKE A BOSS

GET REKT SU SHE

so wwx continues and is like, isn't it weird how fucking su she wanted you all to die out there with him and now he wants to stop me from figuring out who poisoned you? now, why would an ally do that, hm?

I LOVE YOU WWX

IT'S SO FUN WATCHING SU SHE GET UTTERLY DESTROYED THAT I NEED TO RECORD THIS NEXT PART FOR POSTERITY

wwx: it seems that the su clan doesn't get along with the lan clan

ljy: indeed (he says with a disgusted look at su she LOL)

lwj: the su clan is a branch of the lan clan

and here, nhs gets ljy's attention

nhs: what's the story?

LOLOL, NHS YOU GOSSIP YOU

AND THE WAY LJY EAGERLY IS LIKE, HELL YEAH LEMME TELL YOU

lsz interrupts tho so he can give a more tactful explanation

lsz: master nie, you may not know but ss built his own clan after departing from the lan clan

lsz: their techniques are similar to the lan clan's, they're also good at music. even ss's spiritual tool is modeled after hanguang jun's 7-string guqin

ljy: not "departed from." they were expelled for betraying the lan clan. and it's not only that! there are funnier reasons too!

TELL ME MORE LJY. I WANT TO KNOW ALL THE FUNNY REASONS WHY SS WAS KICKED OUT

lsz tries to stop ljy but LJY IS NOT GONNA KEEP HIS OPINIONS TO HIMSELF

ljy: ss not only imitates everything from us, he also forbids ppl from discussing how he imitates hanguang jun

LOL, ATTA BOY LJY

ha, you can hear lsz scolding him in the background

unfortunately ss gets the ability to speak back and immediately gets everyone to start bickering

we see wwx roll his eyes and get this "I am so Done" expression on his face

i feel ya bro

more bickering, ljy giving as good as he gets, which is awesome, and then ljy says something that gives wwx an "aha!" moment

ljy: who are you calling arrogant? which clan's demon-subdue melody was played badly without even noticing?

and with that, wwx figures out how the other cultivators lost their spiritual power. but he's gonna make a show out of explaining it bc Drama.

wwx: lqr, may i ask you a question?

lqr: hmph. if you have a question, why not ask lwj?

wow, very mature of you lqr. what kind of example are you setting for your juniors?

we get a shot of lwj here and he looks at his uncle and then looks away with his mouth pinched

i think that hurt him. he still loves his uncle, after all.

wwx: then i'll ask him

wwx: lan zhan, even tho the su clan departed from the lan clan, they imitated the lan clan exclusive technique, right?

lwj: yes

wwx: one of the techniques is magic music that can exorcise evil with a guqin. since the su clan copied you, lots of their disciples use the guqin too, right?

lwj: yes

wwx: ss left the clan after learning the technique but since he didn't learn it to perfection, his disciples play with many mistakes, right?

GET REKT SU SHE

TODAY IS DRAG SU SHE DAY AND I AM LIVING FOR IT

lwj: yes

wwx: so even if they played music badly during battle, the lan clan wouldn't mind at all. they'd just assume it's careless mistakes. they'd assume someone confuse the score rather than thinking they did it on purpose

then he poses very confidently and says "isn't that right, clan leader su?"

su she goes to pluck the guqin strings and wwx reminds him that he has no spiritual power rn

ss: what are you insinuating by saying all that?

wwx: did i not say it clear enough that you feel like i'm just insinuating?

WWX IS FULL OF ZINGERS TODAY, IT'S AMAZING

and then wwx spells it all out for them bc as all know, these cultivators are all idiots. 

and the episode ends there!

not a lot of wangxiantics aside from the bit at the beginning BUT SO MANY QUALITY LINES FROM WWX AND THE JUNIORS

AND WE GET TO WATCH SU SHE GET DRAGGED FOR HALF AN EPISODE

NOT A BAD WAY TO PASS THE TIME, TBH

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Vivid - Part 2

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Summary: Have you ever met someone who completely embodies a color? Not an aura, not synesthesia. Just… They walk into the room and when you spot them, you think to yourself, “Wow. That is a walking hurricane.” When Clint Barton serendipitously meets a free-spirited stranger, he sees red. Chapter: Clint never expected to see you again, but today he does. Can he convince you to see him again? Maybe on purpose next time?

Warnings: Sailor Mee and the curse of the lip, back at it again. (Swearing. There’s plenty of swearing.)

Word Count: 2503

A/N: Oooh boy. I’m on the fence about this one. I like parts of it, but I’m always leery about including side relationships and fleeting characters. In this case, I think it gives character insight? So I kept it? Again, fair warning, this “you” is practically an OFC.

The next time Clint saw you was as unexpected as the first.

He hated these events. Everyone did. Of course he knew it was important, a good cause, part of his responsibilities, and on, and on, and on. Having a few Avengers listed on the invitation always brought bigger donations. Clint knew this. But it was still a headache and he wasn’t great at pretending.

He’d shaken a few hands, smiled, simpered, and promptly grew bored. By the time Natasha found him observing from the corner, the speeches had nearly concluded. He’d slouched into a deeply uncomfortable rental sofa, spinning a long slender breadstick in his fingers.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to play with your food?” Natasha teased as she handed him a whiskey neat. He quickly dumped it into his half empty coffee and took a gulp. Almost an Irish coffee. Rougher and not quite according to direction, like him.

“Convince me these are actually edible and I’ll stop.”

She yanked the slender stick from her fingers and crunched down on it. He laughed when she yelped and handed it back rubbing her jaw.

“Think one of these penguin suits is a decent dentist?” she groaned, scanning the room of tuxedos and glittering evening gowns.

“I think if you ask you’ll never hear yourself talk again,” he grumbled, taking another gulp of his drink. “I’m bored.”

Natasha hummed her agreement and took a sip of her cocktail while she scanned the room. “Well the band’s about to start. Take bets on the playlist? I’ll take $100 we get two Journey songs.”

“You think I’ve got $100 to flush down the toilet?”

Natasha laughed and shrugged. “Works on the dentists.”

He laughed, watching her scan the room, looking for a target for the night.

“Big red over there is pretty,” she nodded toward the stage.

Clint perked up, turning to look over his shoulder at the singer in the bright red dress.

“What d’you think her drink is?” Natasha asked, eyes too busy reading a million silent clues to see her friend’s slack jaw and wide, eager eyes. “I’m guessing… Gin martini with lemon. Definitely goes for a twist.”

“Coke,” Clint answered quietly beside her, as shocked as he was mesmerized. The band had begun to play, and of course she was a front-woman. It was so obvious it hurt. Or was that the pounding in his chest.

“What did you say?”

“She likes coke,” he answered, a smile slowly curling his lips. “I’m going rum and coke.”

Thoughtlessly, effortlessly, he was on his feet, moving toward the stage. He suddenly had that feeling again. Red. You wore it and you lived it. You came alive on that stage. With smiles and winks, a little dance and a few songs, you’d drawn every guest into motion.

They tapped of fingers modestly against their glasses mid-conversation. Or they swayed shoulders, skirting the dance-floor hoping to be asked. The more exuberant guests allowed themselves to be swept into the current.

You were a red neon light, glowing, burning. Energy itself innervating the room. He felt it on his skin and in the center of his chest.

“Do you know her?” Natasha turned to him, somewhere between an amused smile and a confused frown distorting her smooth features.

“We danced once…”

“You?”

“In a bodega.” He chuckled at the memory, at the promise it held.

“That makes more sense,” she smirked and scanned the room again. “Well, I guess I’ll have to try again for a dance partner then?”

“Uh-huh.” He hadn’t really heard. He’d stopped paying attention a long time ago. He was drawn like a moth to a bright red flame.

He waited, enjoying the rest of the party, for once. For once, he had something else to think about.

“You guys have been great,” you smiled wide into the microphone. “We’re gonna take a little break. Just enough time to have another look at the silent auction items.” A wink and the spotlight cut off the stage just as you turned to leave it in a swirl of red dress, blue light, and humming voices.

Clint weaved his way through the crowd as you and your band-mates cleared the stage. He had no idea what he was doing or what he might say, but… it seemed like fate. Like the wind had blown a lucky red balloon just within reach.

“No, fuck being friends!” he heard your whisper-shout when he finally spotted you down the hall. With eyes scrunched closed, your hands pushed out in front of you, toward the man across the hall. “This has never been just friends. Not for me. And it’s not for you either; you just can’t… You want to play around but my heart isn’t a toy. I can’t do this hot and cold thing.”

“Baby, don’t be like that,” the man urged, taking your hand. He stepped close. Very close. “I came to see you.”

You shoved the man’s hand away abruptly. “To see me.” A bitter laugh cut through the air. “It’s like you have some kind of special shit-stirrer’s radar. Every time I start doing okay without you, you turn up and make damn sure I’m not.”

“So don’t be without me,” he cooed, stroking his hands down your arms. “Not tonight.”

“This is what I mean. You want me ‘til you don’t. Doesn’t seem like that’s changed, has it?”

He merely sighed and looked at his feet, shaking his head, unwilling to answer. Always unwilling to risk anything but you. He was guarded while you stood, as ever, with a heart open and alive, red and beating, straining to feel it all. As ever, you were tired of breaking yourself against someone else’s walls.

You shook your head and pushed the man away gently. “Just go,” you said softly, hardly more than a whisper.

Having realized, too late, exactly what he’d stumbled upon, Clint turned to slip away in the shadows, unnoticed. Except Clint Barton, SHIELD spy, Avengers sharpshooter was shockingly prone to accidents. The clatter of glass drew your attention down the half-lit hallway. He’d tripped over a cocktail glass some wandering guest had left behind.

“The fundraiser’s the next door on your left,” you called, assuming he was a lost patron.

“Don’t do that,” the man across from you cooed, resuming your argument and reaching for you again. This time you moved out of reach. “We’re good as friends. Come with me, just for the night, for old time’s sake. No strings. We both know what it is this time; no one gets hurt..”

Clint didn’t like pushy people. He didn’t like anyone who manipulated their way into places they weren’t invited. He’d known a few.

“Um actually… I’m uh with the event” Clint stumbled with a sheepish grin that appealed to you immediately. It beamed a signal: gentle and safe, and… familiar. “I was hoping to talk to you.” He was giving you an out and you were grateful.

“I have to go,” you told the man you’d been arguing with. “So do you.”

With that you patted his shoulder and turned down the hall towards the event. Towards Clint.

“Hey honey, what can I help you with?” you asked with a customer service smile glued to your face, eyes shimmering with struggle.

“I was…” Clint stopped and shook his head, changing course. “Are you alright?”

“Of course.” In the momentary pause Clint raised his eyebrows, ever skeptical, and you , you released a heavy sigh. A bittersweet smile tilted your lips. “Or I will be. ”

“He seems like a jerk. You should go have a drink and dance til your feet are numb and buy yourself something weird and awesome and forget all about him,” he held out his elbow for you and you took it, looping your arm around his with a watery laugh. As if you could afford a single thing on the auction block.

You turned to him as he led you back to the party, with your fingers curled around his rigid bicep. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Oh, no. Nevermind.”

“No, come on!” You bumped him with your shoulder. “What was it?”

He turned to face you but shook his head, looking at his feet and yours, swept by that red-as-red-could-be red dress.

“I recognized you, is all,” he admitted. “When you guys started playing... I think the bodega performance was maybe, a cut above, but,” he shrugged with a huge grin on his face.

You burst into laughter at the memory.

“The bodega!” you smacked your palm onto your forehead. “Oh my god, I was… not myself that night.” You tipped your head with a wink to be sure he understood.

This time it was Clint who laughed. And you enjoyed every bit of it. The shocked rise of his eyebrows, the glint in his wide eyes, and the huge grin on his lips… It brightened your heavy heart. He was good at that, apparently.

“I should have known,” he laughed, “Sober people don’t sing to coke bottles.”

“Oh no, I absolutely do that sober.”

“Oh,” he laughed. “You’re that kind of person.”

“And you’re lucky to have witnessed it.”

“I am,” he agreed, with something warm and soft in his eyes.

“That was another ex-boyfriend special. Ending a night to forget with junk food and a hangover on the horizon,” you sighed, shaking your head. “I’m a jump in with both feet sort of girl, ya know?” He did know. In his mind you were bright red, full of risks. And if you were lucky, he assumed, gleaming rewards. It made perfect sense that you felt strongly and acted rashly. Red. “When I see something I like I’m all in. And he was a… a…”

“An idiot?” Clint offered. “An asshat? Blind?”

Your laughter was infectious to him. He didn’t even care if it was at his expense. He just wanted to hear it.

“That too, I like to think,” you agreed through a giggle. “Truth is: I’m the idiot. I feel too much and I get my heart broken too often. Can’t turn it off.”

“No,” Clint argued, dropping your hand from his arm so he could turn to face you. “Definitely not an idiot.”

“No?”

“Brave.”

People like you were a complete mystery to Clint. He could barely bring himself to say things like ‘I love you’ to people he well and truly loved. They knew it. People like Nat, and the others: his family. They shared traumas and challenges that understood why. Yet here you were, brimming with it, ready to share it so easily. This was what he had been drawn to that day in the bodega, and this was what had pulled him down the hallway looking for you this night like a moth to the bright red heat of a flame.

You chuckled softly, turning embarrassed eyes to your feet. “You do know there are real live Avengers in this room, right?”

“WHAT?!” he shrieked, feigning shock and looking wide-eyed about the room.

This time your laugh was deep and full. He was so light and fun, this stranger. Time with him was weightless, light as a feather. It cheered you up moment by tiny moment.

“I don’t know if I qualify as brave in this crowd,” you explained.

“Well,” he turned back to you. “Would I qualify if I danced around like a preschooler on Kool-Aid?”

“Oh, definitely,” you grinned, nodding.

“Bravest of them all.”

“Look out, Lancelot!”

By the time you glanced up to the stage, your band was already gearing up to finish the set. One grateful squeeze to your new yet old friend’s arm and you were off. Clint tried not to read too much into it, but it felt like a whole conversation. A ‘thanks,’ a ‘see you,’ a silent ‘I like this.’ Wishful thinking, he told himself.

You didn’t want to leave Clint’s side, but the show must go on. Especially one paid for by the biggest name in New York City.

It was the worst set of your life. Your band mates were furious. You were completely blowing an important gig, but damn it all, you couldn’t stop laughing.

Clint had planted himself at the center of the dance floor and held true to what you had thought was a joke. He flailed and jerked like a madman. He slid behind unsuspecting dancers making faces and wild gestures. He dragged a confused and reluctant Tony onto the floor for a waltz during your most lively song. It made no sense and it was exactly what you needed.

He spun and lunged and dipped, taking stealthy sips through straws of drinks held behind intimately held partner’s backs. Partner pairs he was absolutely not a part of.

What finally, finally got you to step away from the mike, cover your face, and double over laughing was the chicken dance in the middle of a slow mushy ballad.

The pianist glared at you before looking to your lead guitarist for help. They turned it into a lovely instrumental on the fly and you ended the show early.

“Thank you all, you’ve been a wonderful audience,” you managed through giggles. “And a generous one by the look of it! Give yourselves a hand! A beautiful evening for a beautiful cause.”

You paused for the soft applause that filled the room as the dancing stopped. Clint grinned up at you, fanning himself in mock exhaustion. Though, you didn’t doubt he probably had worn his dress shoes to blistering.

“And a special round of applause for my personal hero down here on the dance floor! Mr. Lancelot!”

This time it was Clint who turned red. He tried to duck into the crowd, shaking his head with a sheepish laugh.

“What the hell are you up to?” Tony asked in a discrete, tight lipped murmur as he, slung an arm over Clint’s shoulder, saving him from the limelight.

“Oh damn,” he sighed, high and long. Exhausted. “I have no idea.”

“If uh,” you stammered on the stage, the first time all night Clint had seen you look unsure. “If he wanted to hang around for a bit I’m gonna go get some pizza because this fancy fundraiser food is served on a toothpick and I’m starving.”

Clint’s entire face lit up. It was the most lovely thing you’d ever seen. It started in his eyes: they looked up into the light of the stage and glittered, narrowing as the smile pushed at his cheeks, rounding them and wrinkling the soft skin near his clear blue eyes. Lopsided, his lips drew over grinning white teeth, as he glanced at his feet, blushing.

He was cute as hell.

He laughed under Tony’s arm and nodded. A matching smile erupted across your own face, for the first time in weeks, excited to be greeting the early morning hours.

“You’re kidding me,” Tony scoffed from beside Clint. “Those moves actually worked?”

Part 3 >>

[saltine-kakyoin]

🎶 and jotaro and also kakyoin AND another character..whoever u want ;)

oho… you’ve sent me another message? you know what comes next bro, u brought this upon yourself….this is us now man

anyhow, AH. thos boys…god this one is gonna be so difficult because I have So Many Songs that are tied to them. as for the other character, i think i will do my boy sergio because i really need to share my brainstorming songs for him before i explode! :0 thank you again for sending these in, bro!! have a good night, ily! c:

this will be long bc i always ramble..i will be tagging this as long post for mobile gang!

Jotaro:

thom- i hate to start this off with a jotakak-themed song because i know some people Despise jk. i’m sorry for y’all who do, but ahh this song has been stuck in my head for days now! :’( In terms of the SDA, i always think of this song as like…jotaro’s bittersweet journey w his feelings for kak. it’s something about the like, ghostly windchimes in the beginning, the phone buzzing in the bg, and the “please don’t run away”s man, ahhh. I listen to this song a lot when brainstorming him coming to accept that friendship is as far as he and kak go. However,“ The pitter patter gave a rather rinse and lather feeling/ As opposed to shitty attitudes that made me bitter after laughter/ And I dearly regretted it” really makes me think of pt. 4 jotaro in any context. We only see the end result of his development from SDC, but like hhh… do you think he regrets being so gruff? I think of that 1 fanart where he’s looking at the group picture + hoping they knew he wasn’t annoyed by them (or something along those lines, i forget the exact line…ahh)

something’s missing- So, ofc not all parts of this song apply.. and truthfully, I listen to this song while thinking of the immediate period after the crusade in the SDA and how the crusaders are all left with this hole in them (..@kakyoin literally.. i’m sorry i had to. also, abdul is the hole). Out of all of them, though, I always think of Jotaro the most w this song- “My dad asks, ‘Were you okay out where you were stranded?’ How do I tell him that I wasn’t just okay… I was so much better?” LIKE DAMN THAT IS ONE (1) KUJO JOTARO… :( i think he comes back from the crusade and just feels.. severely misplaced. Going back to Japan and the girls following him to school every morning feels so alien to him.

tempest rhapsody- this song is just… *chef kiss* It makes me think of like. star platinum’s first manifestation, and of the emotions one would feel during a 50-day crusade to a place you’ve never been before, where you run the risk of death at least once a week…how would it feel to know if you got seriously injured in a fight, there would be a very real possibility that your *cough* dearly beloved *cough* mother could die? this song is my answer to that question

only in sleep- another choir song! i cannot help myself. This one is more for canon Jotaro. I’ve read a few fics about the universe reset where he’s reunited with the other crusaders one last time before everything becomes nil, and…..augh. “The years had not sharpened their smooth round faces, I met their eyes and found them mild — Do they, too, dream of me, I wonder, And for them am I too a child?“ is imo such a jotaro 4 am deliberation

softly- THIS. this was the Original jotakak song, no offense thom. i used to listen to this song on REPEAT while reading nessun dorma, ahhh. so much of the sda jotakak dynamic is shaped from that fic and this song, hghshg. Anyhow, now that I’ve worked on the development of their relationship in the sda, this song is most definitely a song for the jotaro who unknowingly pines in 3rd year and then comes to realize that ah…these are Emotions during uni. during their third year, jotaro and kakyoin do a ton of self-exploration, and spend more than one night floating in the pitch black void of the ocean talking about what they’re going to do after graduation with only the stars to accompany them. they lose this when jotaro goes to florida for uni + kakyoin paris, but they make up for it by calling each other all the time, so “Touch you softly I call you up late at night” made this song an instant hit in my book ghshghw. I adore this song, through and through. ;u;

post-published honorable mention bc i rediscovered him while i was workin on polnareff’s playlist!! DOLLY ZOOM is another really good song for pining jotaro. in the sda, he feels really Horrible about having a crush on kakyoin for a long time because he and his family (that is phrased weird, i am sorry) are the entire reason kakyoin got a hole punched right through his abdomen and spine. they’re the entire reason kakyoin spent months learning how to walk and use his legs again. he doesn’t do anything except bury his feelings because, to him, it’d be Really selfish to do otherwise. i listened to dolly zoom nonstop when i started writing Jotaro’s Decade-Long Yearn because it captures the guilt really well, ahh.

Kakyoin (it is 1:24 am as i’m starting this… let’s see how long i agonize over this part lmao)

ultraviolence- ahh, ze Mindworm Song. I really despise diokak and the fact that he had to spend like…3-4 months with the mindworm just chilling in his brain, but I can’t ignore the fact that he latched onto dio’s friendship and was initially elated to have that whole thing happen. It haunts Kakyoin in canon, and it Most Definitely haunts him in the SDA, and i think he and jotaro have a lot of conversations about how and why and what that whole experience was like. I always end up coming back to this song when brainstorming this year in the au. The beginning just sounds so lonely, and the background choir/ voices really give me the heebie jeebies. Then, there’s the build-up to the beat drop, which really make me think of like. what being mindwormed could feel like? And how it must feel to be so lost in that sauce that you become a passenger in your own mind, lost to the whim of one super manipulative vampire, augh. “You give me love, you know you give me love with your ultraviolet rays” ties into a few of FKA Twigs’ other songs where she sings about not being enough and really obsessively deriving love from someone whose attention is ultimately really harmful and unhealthy, and I think about that and Kakyoin a lot. :(

sound and color- so truthfully, this is my go-to song for any character that dies/almost dies and comes back, or goes through a Huge Life Change. kakyoin fits both of these bills to a T! this song makes me think of getting used to being around such a rowdy but tight-knit group of people who genuinely care about you All Day Long after spending your entire life in isolation. I always think of like, a happiness montage when the second half of this song comes around, and the montage i daydream about for kak during that section is *chef kiss* Sound + Color is like one of the best songs ever, and it’d be a crime to not have a kak setting for it. 

first love/late spring- fellas, here’s the kakyoin equivalent to jotaro’s softly. this song was IT, back when the sergio-divergent au and the “All the Crusaders Live” au were two separate things. back then, kakyoin and jotaro’s realization that oh, fuck, they really meant the entire world to each other happened much earlier in the plot. Looking back on that now makes me squint, but I do think that this song is still really fitting for kakyoin exploring those feelings- friendship is one thing, but romance is something entirely different and a lot more intimate. i think it’s a tug-of-war for him, between wanting to jump in to those feelings and wanting to run far far away from them because he doesn’t want to be wrong and ruin their friendship. good times in the kak hole

last words of a shooting star- I really love the bastard fucker side of kakyoin that is explored and celebrated in our fanon, but I can never shake the fact that some of his last thoughts were of his parents (and i think he was sorry for making them worry? which… baby…) and that his polite, “outwardly anxious” presentation was this big facade for like.. the Deep and Soul-Wrenching loneliness he felt because he was a stand user? The first stanza and “They’ll never know how I’d stared at the dark in that room/ With no thoughts” make me think of kakyoin deeply- if his family had never gone to egypt and he’d never met dio or jotaro, what would have happened to him? Who would he be? i’ve always been super attached to that part of kak bc fundamentally… I Relate. but also i am just fond of it because it makes me sob- he deserved so much better than to get murdered by the same man who manipulated his entire identity right at the climax of his character arc….some crimes can never be forgiven, hirohiko….

vertigo- i don’t listen to this song for kak often, but it is a Quintessential Kakyoin song. according to khalid’s twitter, vertigo is a song about “Overcoming overthinking. After every dark days, there’s a brighter outcome. Being at a super low place in your life and realizing that, there’s other people going through that same path you’re walking down. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel. It’s also a story about fear of abandonment.” which….Big Kakyoin Energies. The “Are we alive?Or are we dreaming?” part also ties back into the Kakyoin Parties in a Coma for a Month arc- your mind has a wild wild time when you’re in a medically induced coma, theoretically because it’s trying to fill in the blanks for all of the stuff you’re sensing? And coming out of a medically induced coma is a bizarre experience, where it’s hard to tell if you’re still in the coma and just imagining things or if you’re actually awake. Kakyoin has a mad time in the month immediately after SDC, one that i’m sure he doesn’t enjoy too much after the death 13 fight.

honorable mention goes to i am not yours- this has been a kak song to me for a long time as well. the context of the song is way different from my interpretation for this setting, but AH. I just think kakyoin really struggles to differentiate and understand romantic feelings. This song really reminds me of that struggle, and I think also touches nicely on like. the identity issue of it all too.. “yet i am i, who long to be” yanno? ; J ; it’s hard for me to explain

another honorable mention, my statue sinking. in the sda, after the events in egpyt, kakyoin is thrown into a coma for like an entire month while his body gets operated back together, and then he spends months in physical therapy learning how to walk w a prosthetic spine (kudos to cyborg speedwagon being a reverse engineering madman :D). i like to imagine that there’s also some degree of therapy going on this whole time, also. you don’t just get donuted + thrown into a coma for a month without some counseling to get you back on your feet..i think the lasting effects of dio’s influence are addressed here, but only briefly because it’s not something kakyoin is eager to explore. however, I think that this song captures the like... distress? i guess? of knowing that your life has been irreparably thrown off course because of dio. like yes, you met some really wonderful people that helped you learn how deeply healing friendship could be! but also.. you lost months of your life to mind control, and then another month to a coma, and then additional months to training your body to function again....there’s some psychological stress there. While I think that Jotaro and Polnareff are affected the most by the crusade, I think they all emerge from it with some degree of ptsd. Being targeted by complete strangers at all times of day cannot be good for your mental health, you know? Anyhow, I think My Statue Sinking captures that aftermath feeling really well. Everyone survives and recovers from the crusade, but there’s a part in all of them that is lost to Egypt. 

on to sergio!! (it is now 2:04 am lmaooooooo) sergio will be easy because I only ever listen to the same handful of songs when I’m writing him hdhgh

i will come to you- this is THE sergio song. i think of this song every time i write about him, whether it’s the “believe in me…” “also believe in me” lyric exchange that i imagine he has with both tomoko and holly; the “and i will pray to my father…my father…and he will abide” part being about him reaching out to joseph with his final breaths and spilling all of the beans about dio and begging him to finish things so that Tomoko and Josuke, the Kujos, and he and Suzi can be safe; the “foreeever……foreee-eever.. forever..” part being where he dies and his soul passes into the next realm.. “even the spirit of truth [golden prophet] whom the world [..yeah..] cannot receive, because it seeth him not [bc suad defects and buries sergio instead of bringing his dead body to dio]. Neither knoweth him, but you know him…for he dwelleth in you and he shall be in you [literally the entire joestar/kujo/higashikata family being so near and dear to him + his spirit being with them even after death]” and then, like.. george i, jonathan, and george ii coming to retrieve his soul during the “heeeee shallll beee in youuu” part… “i will not leave you comfortless. i Will Not leave.. You Comfortless… iiii wiiiill come…. to you.. to You” part being about his soul mingling within star platinum and crazy diamond because he has a Need, even in death, to protect them. UGH (also his essence being especially prevalent in crazy diamond, which is partially why its power is to repair things!! bc hamon! ; O ;) literally I have an Entire music video with sergio’s death set to this music. i’ve listened to it way too many times.

when david heard- so to be frank this is actually more of a joseph song, but it’s only a joseph song when sergio exists + gets murdered. :o i cried the first time i listened to this, and then months later i listened to it while thinking of sergio + like. sobbed fr fr. Joseph is asleep when Sergio calls him, so he gets sergio’s final message as a voicemail on his answering machine hours after the fact. the message itself is chilling because Joseph had no clue his son had gone on this huge mission by himself to kill Dio, and now he’s dead! however, it’s made even worse because Joseph wasn’t there to pick the call up and comfort his son in his dying breaths or do Anything. it’s just like Caesar, which is. god awful. it’s such a horrible realization because sergio, whom joseph named after what caesar wanted to name his own son, has been condemned to the same fate as his namesake. Thus this song- i’ve yet to come across a song that captures the feeling of hearing that kind of news so well. (also when i tag things as my sOOOOON or *cries my son in 8-part harmony a la whitacre*, this is the song i’m referencing :D)

zombies / terrified- ahhh, these songs capture the HORROR sergio feels upon sensing dio’s presence in Japan really well. (also “I’m going to eat you alive/please don’t find me rude, but i don’t eat fast food/ so don’t run too fast” is SUCH a dio mood…) Sergio maintains his composure about the Dio Dilemma for a good year before he flies off the handle, and his entire proto-crusade against the vampire is just. Laced with paranoia, even if he is learning a ton of useful skills. These two songs capture that feeling of something constantly watching/creeping up on you so well, and ever since i discovered them, I’ve listened to them for Sergio inspo.

the prophet- This is the only song I’ve done so far that the characters would actually listen to lmao. Sergio is a Huge fan of The Temptations, and his stand is actually named after this song! (+ the esoteric title for the hermit, which was really amazing luck on my end ; J ;) it also had a huge hand in figuring out what his stand power would be, the lyric that decided it was “God doesn’t listen to the words you pray; he hears what your heart has got to say.” However, the entire last stanza of the song ties really well into his character arc fhshgh. Also, this song just feels like it could Be the child of Bloody Stream, if that makes any sense. it’s so groovy and funky, but the lyrics are like big ominous lmao. I was super ecstatic to find this song- if sergio were to ever get an animation, this song would be the OP, yanno?

armageddon- This is another “this song would be on their personal playlist” song. Sergio’s got a lot of love for all styles of music in his heart, but jazz is his home base and always what he comes back to. I like to imagine that Lisa Lisa’s husband introduces Sergio to Wayne Shorter’s music at the age of like 8 or 9, and Sergio’s just. obsessed with the man’s music for the rest of his life. I really love Shorter’s explanation for the meaning of this song and its album as a whole: “What I’m trying to express here is a sense of judgment approaching - judgment for everything alive from the smallest ant to man. I know that the accepted meaning of ‘Armageddon’ is the last battle between good and evil - whatever it is. But my definition of the judgment to come is a period of total enlightenment in which we will discover what we are and why we’re here.” Like… wig.. I feel like that’s such big sergio energy. Armageddon itself also feels like a really nice ED- it’s lively, but in a good episode-ending kind of way. Do i dream of animating Sergio’s adventure one day? Mayhaps.

honorable mention goes to just my imagination/ my girl- We’ve covered that Sergio adores The Temptations, so it’s no secret that he would listen to these songs ceaselessly. however, i really like the broadway harmonies + instrumentals that they did for Ain’t Too Proud, so that’s what’s goin in here. these songs are THE tomoko/sergio songs…He loves Tomoko and the way she quips + teases + gets up to nonsense with him So Much. There’s a huge part of him that has No Idea what Tomoko sees in a music geek like him, but ughh he is so grateful that she likes him because she is a Goddess. he’s blessed yo..

[chillihansol]

barista!seungkwan (click for HD)

seungkwan as a barista is equal to being friends with evERYONE

unlike junhui, seungkwan works near the city and a bit further from the college campus,,

which means he gets to encounter different kind of people,, and he's pretty much close to them

i mean,,, he's seungkwan, what do you expect

he's been working on the coffee shop for a year and his manager loves him so much

his open personality is one of the reasons why their usual customers keep coming back to their shop

like,,his smile just brights up their day + a cup of coffee

what more do you ask for?

and seungkwan himself loves his job too,, esp that it's very stable and he adds the money he earns from it to his allowance

so,,,you are seungkwan's co-worker.

but you've been only working there for six months and seungkwan constantly nags you about it

"did that guy just asked for your number?! ive been working here for a year now but no one ever asked for mine!"

"my usual customer just came to look for you bc she said you make her coffee much better than i do and im offended bc ive been here longer than you do"

"if you plan to takeover my job, im stopping you now bc im your senior"

but you were never pissed about his statements bc he became your best friend

he helped you adapt on your job when you first came in

and he's been very enthusiastic whenever you're around

basically, he's just naturally enthusiastic and that's the main reason why every customer loves him

one time, seungkwan has to work overtime bc he needed to buy something for his project in college

and he's not pleasant about this idea bc it means he has to work with seungcheol

yes, seungcheol is your co-worker too but that is another story :))

if everyone loves seungkwan,,,, every girl loves seungcheol

and seungkwan is not happy about that bc seungcheol is taking his customers away lol

sometimes, he tried watching seungcheol's flirty antics but he saw nOTHING

SEUNGCHEOL JUST SMILES AT THEM AND THE GIRLS ARE GONE CRAZY

he'd yell at seungcheol once the customers are gone "hOW DO YOU MAKE THEM BLUSH BY JUST SMILING!?"

and mr choi would just smile at him innocently as if he wasnt aware of his charm

and that is the reason why seungkwan has a love/hate friendship with seungcheol

anyhow,, the coffee shop you and him are working to also offers friday night gigs

basically, some acoustic bands, or solo artists perform during friday night

one of your friends joshua is a usual peformer

but that again is another story :>

so,, have i mention that seungkwan's major is broadcasting?????

well yeah,, he wants to be a radio show host or a dj someday, thats why..

and his job as a barista helped him develop an approaching and chering personality for broadcasting

that is why he loves his job as a barista,,,,

moving on,,, friday gigs are mentioned earlier,,

seungkwan himself is a gREAT SINGER

LIKE, the first time you heard him sing in a low volume while he's brewing a coffee,,, your eyes widened and you slapped him in the back (and he almost spilled the coffee, thanks to you)

"bOI YOU SING?!"

he shot you a very mad glare bc you literally !!! almost !!! spilled !!! the !! order !!!!!!! and you didnt even care !!!!

so yeah,, after hearing him sing, you immediately told your manager about his talent

and seungkwan was called to sing on friday night gigs if he's not busy

luckily for you and seungcheol, seungkwan's performance doesn't scope your shifts so both of you get to watch him

his first performance

was very

memorable

as seungkwan stepped on the mini stage of the café

it seemed like he was a different kind of person

his aura immediately turned into a singer/artist

you were sitting close to his stage together with seungcheol, joshua, and dokyeom,

and as seungkwan started singing

the three boys poked your sides and wiggled their eyebrows

"what"

"you have heart eyes for seungkwan"

"what?! no i dont!"

"yes you do, and your face is a blushing mess"

"that's just the lighting"

and you kept lying to them bc really !!! his voice is the best thing you ever heard in your life

you wonder if you are alrdy in heaven :''')

and that was the time you knew you have feelings for the boy

lol,, ofc the other three boys knew too

seungkwan was given more attention and payment after his first performance

so as the coffee shop,,

since he was pretty popular in the area and in the school so few students make sure to watch his friday night gigs

even his broadcasting projects

speaking of broadcasting,,

seungkwan had to take a break from working on the shop for a week bc of school matter

so seungcheol had to take over his shift and you have to work with him

it wasnt easy,, during the first day, seungkwan’s absence is eating your system

you just miss his presence

his happy smile

and his welcoming remarks to you every time you see each other

even his nagging when you tend to spill a few liquids on the platter lol

you just miss everything about him

so the whole week of seungkwan’s absence was hELL

seungcheol noticed this from you too

“you miss seungkwan, do you”

“no”

“okay, you can stop lying y/n”

“i swear im gonna tell our manager that you dont make good coffee”

“okay i’ll stop”

but you really did miss him

a lot

and seungkwan’s usual customers missed him too,, :( what a cutie

seungkwan, on the other hand, was itching to go back to the shop

bc, ofc, he miss his job

the ambiance of the coffee shop

the aroma of natural coffee beans

the homey vibe

his customers

and at some point,,

he missed you too

hsdajaslkdsdjk

it’s not like seungkwan resigned,, his job as a barista is still existing 

and after his hell week

he was running from school immediately go to the shop

he also asked the bus driver if he could drive faster lol

and when he stepped inside, he was like

“IM HOME”

and it felt really as if it was his second home

except that he didn’t see your familiar figure behind the counter

instead of you, seungcheol was the one who was cleaning the mugs

and a new face

unfamiliar person btw

a new girl

as seungcheol’s eyes landed on seungkwan, his lips immediately tugged into a huge grin !!!!!!!

while seungkwan had a very subtle frown that he tried to hide from seungcheol

“where’s y/n?”

“oh what, you didnt even say that you miss me? you immediately asked for y/n?”

“but it’s her shift right?”

“right, about that, y/n was moved into a new shift and only has to work for three days. says that her schedule in college was getting hectic”

seungkwan’s heart clenched at that

you are his barista buddy

his bickering buddy

his nagging buddy

his everything buddy

and you were replaced by another barista

“aww, my lil seungkwan seemed very sad that i moved into another shift”

he immediately whipped around from the sound of your voice

and you were there standing before him with a huge smile on your face

he threw his arms around you

and you laughed so loudly

seungcheol was wiggling his eyebrows, jsyk

“y/n !!!!!!!!!! i missed you, you annoying kid!”

seungkwan wanted to ask you a lot of things about the barista job but he didnt want to offend the new worker so he pulled your sleeves and walked away from the counter

“why do you have to move?! i dont wanna train another person!”

he nagged at you again

and at that time you just want to squish his cheeks

bc

he’s cute, okay

“who says you have to work with her? seungcheol’s working with her, we were both moved into the same working hours”

his eyes widen and he was like !!!!

yehey !!!!

tho, dont forget that you only get to work with seungkwan for only three days

and it drives him crazy bc he has to do all the work during the four other days

and bc he wants to see your ugly pretty face

at that point, he’s sure that he had developed feelings for you alrdy

you are just his home

awww

so one time, he didnt hesitate to tell you about it

but he’s speaking too fast like he’s rapping

im sure he learned it from his best friend aka hvc aka vernon

you were washing the mugs on the sink when seungkwan leaned his back against the kitchen counter and he looked down at you

“what do you want seungkwan”

“y/n ive been meaning to tell you this butiamalsoverynervousactuallyijustreallylikeyoulikereallylikenotjustbecauseweareworkingtogetherandihadtogetalongwithyoubutireallylikeyouasapersonandpleasedontmakemefeelembarrassimjusttryingtoconfesstoyou”

the ceramic mug almost slipped from your grip as you listened to every single word he said

and you caught the mug btw, and all of his words

mainly bc you’re tired of hearing seungcheol rap and you learned to understand everything he raps about

carefully, you placed down the mug on the sink and wiped your hands on your apron to dry them

once you did, you engulfed your arms on seungkwan’s torso and buried your face on his chest

“i like you too, silly”

you could practically hear his heartbeat that time

lol

so you and him started dating after that

nagging each other was part of your relationship

but it wasnt really offensive bc you both understand each other

and you always tease him for hearing his heartbeat when he confessed to you lololol

even tho you two are both baristas

coffee dates were not your thing unlike junhui 

instead, karaoke dates are YOUR THING

you were shy to let him hear you sing at first 

but as you got comfortable around him, you didnt really care

like seungkwan would just wrap his arms around you to support himself from falling on the floor bc he’s laughing too hard on your exaggerated singing

and since he’s a broadcasting major, he has practicals of radio show, and you always listen to those

you’re also there when seungkwan sings for friday night gigs

both of you are just so happy to be together

and to work on the cafe

his first ‘i love you’ was said after he dedicated a song to you on one of his gigs

and he always says that he loves you before he ends the radio show they do

sometimes, when you’re tired on work, he’d make you a cup of coffee and whisper a low and sweet ‘i love you’ to your ear and would kiss your temple afterwards

he likes saying ‘i love you a latte’ tho

junhui is not having it

you too

but you tell him that too when you’re feeling extra and when junhui is not around on group hangouts

you often bring seungkwan a cup of coffee (from the campus cafe where junhui works) to give him energy throughout the day

and he’s kiss your cheek for that

while vernon fakely gags from that sight

and so, you and him were known as the barista couple on the coffee shop

his usual customers became your friends too

in fact they sometimes tease seungkwan by saying they like your coffee more than seungkwan’s

he’d pout at you after hearing that

and you’d slightly tap his lower lip (when the customer is still there)

but you’d press a quick peck on it when the customer leaves

your relationship with seungkwan is just pure sweet

very contrary to woozi’s taste of coffee

and you love him a latte

☕ more barista!au: s.coups  | jeonghan  |  joshua  |  junhui  |  hoshi  | wonwoo  |  woozi  |  dokyeom  |  mingyu  |  the8  |  seungkwan  |  vernon  |  dino

layout credit; by pdmapatil © to the owner of the photos. I do not own any of the photos used.

[sunigyrl]

Anqualë: Past is Prologue

Series Summary: The Queen of Mirkwood was lost to her kingdom almost two centuries ago after a battle with orc marauders. King Thranduil and Prince Legolas have worked to move on, but the past still shrouds their lives. Try as they might, the agony of loss still dogs their steps. Yet things are not always what they seem...

Series Pairings: Thranduil x Wife!OFC, Legolas x Mother!OFC

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1687

A/N: OMG, she finally dropped something! Yes, yes I did. Gasp, it’s a Lord of the Rings/Hobbit fic! Yes, yes it is. This little multi chapter gem has actually been in the works for quite some time now. Shout out to @daytimeheroicsonly and @killmongersaidheyauntie for convincing me finally post it. I foresee this being a long one, so buckle your seat belts kids. Chapter two is done, so I’ll drop that later this afternoon. I tagged people that I thought would be down for my foolishness. DM me or send me an ask if you want on or off my tag list.

*The picture below is what I envision the OC to look like with the exception of her hair color. This picture is the inspiration for her look in this chapter with a few minor color changes to her hair and outfit.

Part 2

Sunlight. That was the first thing that he felt. Radiant sunlight, bright and pure pouring down on him. It warmed his body and rejuvenated his spirit. Taking a deep breath as he opened his eyes, he realized that he was no longer in his bed. No longer inside the halls of his castle, or even the forests of Mirkwood for that matter. No. Everything was different. The forest that surrounded him was different, yet strangely familiar. He knew this place, though he had not been here in many millenia. It had been destroyed in the war during the First Age. Yet somehow he found himself back here. Back home in Doriath. As he took in the sights and sounds of the lost forest, he committed everything to memory. The summer flowers that carpeted the forest floor in a mosaic of vibrant color. The trees, tall and strong, offering a rich green canopy that filtered the light in different patterns. The sound of the great river on the air as it rushed across the land in the distance. Birds sang wondrous tunes of old as animals scampered to and fro. This was home. Absorbing the wonders for a moment longer, it was then that he heard it. A laugh that sounded like the golden bells of the Great Hall. It had been so long since that laugh had graced his ears, but he recognized it immediately. He could never forget it. It was her laugh. Walking toward the sound, he searched through the trees. He could not yet see her, but he could tell he was getting closer. At once it was as loud as if she were right beside him; he knew she must be near. Rounding the tree and expecting to see her, he was greeted only with a gentle breeze. Looking around, he saw a flash of silver disappear into a grove of trees not ten yards ahead. Following the flash, he could still hear the laugh beckoning him to continue on. Moving further into the forest, he increased his speed in an effort to try and catch her. After many minutes of dashing around trees, jumping across streams and hopping over rocks, he noticed that he seemed to be getting closer. Where he only saw flashes of silver before, he was now catching glimpses of an arm and a leg as well. But why was she running from him? Why this game of chase?

Suddenly, he realized that day had become night during his pursuit. The moon now shone down upon the forest and lit his path. Yet he couldn't stop to take in the change. He had to keep going. He was so close to her now. So close that he was sure with another few steps he'd be able to reach out and touch her.

"Thranduil", he heard her breathy call as it flowed along the wind and wrapped around him. He looked up in time to see her make one last turn before she finally came to a halt.

Stopping several yards from her, he noticed that they were standing in the middle of a clearing on a cliff that overlooked the river. He knew this cliff. This was where he spoke to her for the first time all those years ago. It had been during one of the great Feasts of Starlight when her uncle came to visit with his royal court. Seeing her dance under the stars during the evening celebration from his post was a sight to behold. There was something so wild, so free, so in tune with nature about her. She was nothing like the elleth girls of his lands, nor any of the others he had visited. He had to meet her. That night, much like this one, he had followed her into the forest. At first it was just to see her once again. To catch a glimpse of her uninhibited and in the wild. Something told him that this was her natural element, and that he would find her here. Following the glittering sound of her laugh, he came upon her standing in this very spot. Her back to him, she lifted her head and basked in the glowing light of the full moon while humming to the nightingales' song. Many nights he found himself listening to that same song and finding comfort. He never knew of another that enjoyed it as much as he. Yet here seemed to be such a being. And what a beautiful being she was. Her hair cascaded in endless waves of silvery white that softly fell just beyond her hips. The moonlight giving it an ethereal shimmer as it blew untamed in the midsummer night's breeze. The top portion had been pulled back from her face into three intricately woven braids that were bound together high upon her head by a decorative white leather band that was studded with multicolored gems. The hair that flowed from the band was left loose and silky so that it fluttered behind her. Upon her body she wore a robe that was unlike any he had ever seen before. Instead of the usual long flowing silk, it was made of long, thick bands of white leather fringe that hung from a solid leather neck and shoulder piece. From where he stood, Thranduil could see that the fringe, though beautiful during the dance as it twisted in the air, offered little in the way of modesty or cover. The fringe covered skin below the shoulder piece was exposed to him. Through the wide bands he could see her gracefully long arms, rich and chestnut in color. He could also see the gentle curves of her lithe back, bare and fully exposed. As she turned toward him, he took in the rest of her image. Staring at her uplifted face he could see from her profile that she had beautifully high cheekbones, a perfectly crafted nose, and lips that were as plump as  summer berries. A decorative adornment of white, silver and gold was carefully painted across her forehead and down her temples and the bridge of her nose. The design patterned to look like the moon surrounded by the stars. Hoops of quilted silver and gold framed her face. Her neck was long and graceful, like that of the rare and beautiful black swan that swam in the garden pools of the palace. Moving downward he saw the clasp of her robe, fashioned from multicolored gems, resting in the hollow of her neck just above her exposed décolleté. Oh how warm and inviting her earth toned skin looked. He wondered if it would be as soft to the touch as it appeared. Drawing his eyes down her frame, he saw that the bodice of her costume was that of tightly woven white leather interwoven with ropes of pure gold and silver. Jewels danced between the contrasting materials and made them sparkle. The sweetheart neckline and tight waist accented her every dip and curve to make them pop. Her skirts were made of a glorious sheer white chiffon material that seemed as light and airy as the wind itself. Slits were cut into the front on both sides and stopped just above her mid thigh so that he could see her impossibly long brown legs. She was barefoot, and bands of gold and silver encircled her ankles and wrists. Staring at the beauty, he silently pleaded for her to show him her eyes. Something within him knew that they had to be her most enchanting feature. As if hearing his request, she lowered her head from her moon bathing and aligned her face with his. As she slowly opened her almond shaped eyes, he saw glowing pools of liquid silver staring at him. To him they looked as if they were made of pure moonlight. Beauty such as this could only be crafted by the Valar, for there was no way in his mind that mere beings of Middle Earth could create such a creature. But this couldn't be happening. This event had taken place several millennia ago. When they were both quite young. She a visiting young Avari princess and he a prince and new Captain of the Guard. Looking down at himself, he saw that he was in fact wearing the royal guard dress uniform from that night. How were they back in this moment? “Thranduil, a'maelamin", he heard her whisper as he looked up to see she now wore a soft smile. Her hands stretched to him. “Arahaelil", he breathed as he stepped forward to meet her. But on the third step, everything changed. Suddenly the stars were hidden and the wind began to fiercely howl around him. It swiftly pushed clouds in front of the moon so that it shone down as a sliver a light that illuminated only her. Everything else was bathed in a darkness so black that it was palpable. It felt breathtaking and evil. At once her arms fell to her side and shackles appeared about her wrists. Chains formed and seemed to extend from the shackles into the great darkness behind her body. The rich chestnut of her skin faded away to an ashen grey. Her silver eyes suddenly swirled to a pool of murky white as her smile contorted to a look of pain and torment. As he made to step closer still to finally take hold of her, he found that he could no longer move. His feet were being held in place by some force, though he saw nothing around them. Looking to her once more, he realized the chains were pulling her backward toward the cliff's edge. His own face twisting into a look of fear and desperation, he stretched forth his hand and screamed out her name. "ARAHAELIL!" With a lone tear trailing down her cheek, her milky white eyes focused on his and caused him to still. "Help me", was the last thing he heard her say in a whispered plea before her bonds were given a swift yank and she plummeted backward off the cliff into darkness.

Tag List: @daytimeheroicsonly @killmongersaidheyauntie @chefjessypooh @onyour-right

[waywardnerd67]

Back Home

Summary: Nikki moves back to her hometown after a bad break-up. Finally, after a year she is back on her feet and has a chance run in with fate. Characters: Dean Winchester, Nikki (OFC) Pairing: Dean and Nikki (OFC) Warnings: Angst/Fluff Word Count: 2515 (With lyrics) Louden Swain Song: “St. Louis” – Able-Legged Heroes (Lyrics Bold) A/N: This is for @mrswhozeewhatsis 2018 Louden Swain FanFic/FanArt Project. This will be the only story I ever name a character after myself. I only did that because this is about my hometown and also why not. Flashbacks are italicize. As always this is unbeta so all mistakes are mine. Likes, comments and reblogs are splendid and I will love you doubly for them! Enjoy! **Special Note**: I chose this song specifically because when I read the lyrics and listened to it I immediately began writing a story in my head. There is also the fact that I was born, raised and still live in St. Louis. For a song to inspire me to write a story about my hometown is truly something special. 

So I'm back home But what remains I watch the snow Drift off my windowpane

I sat back in my seat resting my head against the cold window as the world zoomed past me. The steady rhythm of the train helped my body to relax for the first time in days. Glancing to the left I saw a couple snuggled together bringing up hard memories for me. I turned my music up letting the rock tunes flush out the unwanted thoughts. I closed my eyes for just a moment and there was his perfect face. Short, spiky dirty blond hair that was always soft to the touch. Strong, chiseled jaw that was covered by stubble. Full red lips that sent chills down my body whenever they were pressed against my skin. His nose and cheeks dusted with freckles that were more noticeable in the summer sun. Finally, his eyes. Eyes that pierced through every wall I had built around me. Eyes that were like looking into a heavy forest on a bright spring day. Eyes filled with constant worry, guilt, love and protectiveness. I opened my eyes blurring from tears. I closed them again so they could fall.

Opening them slowly again a slow smile spread across my lips. The train was pulling into the St. Louis Amtrak station. I looked fondly at the skyline I grew up taking for granted. The tall buildings filled with regular people working nine to five. Hotels buzzing with guests here to see everything St. Louis could offer. Most of all, the centerpiece of my hometown, the Gateway to the West. The Arch. Standing six hundred and thirty feet into the low hanging clouds. The Arch grounds were covered in snow making it a picture perfect sight except for the aching in my chest as the train came to a stop. I grabbed my bag slinging it across my body and pulled my stocking cap down on my head as my long, wavy chocolate brown hair covered my ears protecting them from the frozen tundra that is St. Louis in December.

The breeze makes me choke And all the time the answers were in front of my face I try to think about tomorrow but I can't forget today

Walking off the train, I look to see if my best friend, Megan, is there yet. Pulling out my phone I dial her number anxiously awaiting her answer. “Nikki? What’s up?” she said obviously forgetting she was supposed to pick me up. “Hi Megalynz, you were supposed to come get me from the train station downtown. Remember?” Her apologies started flying as I could hear her frantically getting her things. I looked around and decided I could probably walk to Union Station making it easier for her to get me. I told her to meet me there and to take her time. I pulled my heavy coat tighter around me and put my earbuds back in to block out the city chaos all around. As I walked, I marveled at how small I was compared to everything around me. The buildings, the parking garages and even the people hurrying along the streets to their jobs or event. The ache in my chest was growing painfully choking me. Shaking my head, I pushed forward concentrating on the lyrics flowing into my ears.

When I finally reached Union Station, Megan is waiting for me with hot chocolate and an ‘I’m sorry for forgetting you’ donut. As she drives back to her house where I will be living until I get on feet she talks about everything going on in her life. I smile and nod at all the appropriate moments and silently grateful she never asks why I shipped all my stuff to her. We pull into her driveway that is freshly shoved by her boyfriend and she gives me the five-cent tour. “The basement is your domain. There is a living area, a bedroom and a full bathroom. You can stay with us for as long as you need.” She said to me as we walk down into the basement seeing all my boxes from Kansas. “Thank you Megalynz. I think for the rest of the evening I just want to rest down here by myself and get through some of my boxes.” She nodded as she left me be.

I'm back home I feel depressed I found your clothes

Unpacking my boxes was more traumatic than I was expecting. I found a few of his flannels I had stolen to wear with his scent on them still. Whiskey, leather and car grease. I picked up my favorite red and black one holding it to my face as a wave of fresh tears came down my cheeks. My chest was burning from me trying to hold in my emotions and finally I let them out screaming into the shirt. Rage bubbling up inside me as I threw the shirts in a corner and laid down on the small couch sobbing. Memories of better times flooding my head and overwhelming my soul. Why did he have to consume me? Why could he not just leave me in peace?

“Dean Winchester put me down!” I giggled as he spun me around from behind in the Bunker library. “No more research, Nerdy. Time to spend some time with me.” He said as I glanced back at him seeing him wiggling his eyebrows. I started laughing as he led me to our bedroom, “Sorry pretty boy, Sam and I have to finish looking for a lead on the First Blade since Crowley obviously dropped the ball. Now, if you’re a good boy and help us then I will spend all the time in the world with you.” I started to drag him back to the library where Sam was chuckling to himself. “Nope!” Dean said grabbing me around the waist again carrying me down the hallway. “Sam! Sam, help me!” I called out as I heard him laughing. “You’re on your own with him, Nikki.” He yelled as I sighed loudly in frustration. “Dean, you’re being a very bad boy right now.” I said placing my hands on my hips as he closed the door nodding, “Yes, but that’s why you love me.” Rolling my eyes, I nodded slowly as he closed the distance between us.

Why leave a note? Why leave a note? Your words are a joke

The memory felt so real in my mind that I could feel his strong arms around me. Holding me tightly giving a false sense of safety and comfort. I sat back up looking through the one box I knew had exactly what I needed in this moment. Safely contained in a wooden box and wrapped in bubble wrap was the bottle of Jim Beam bourbon I packed away. I preferred Bulleit whiskey, but it made me think of him too much so I was making the move to bourbon to drown my sorrows. I opened the bottle and tip the spout to my lips. The burn down my throat was comforting and warmed my body. After a few more swigs from the bottle I placed it on the small coffee table and spotted something in the shirt pocket of one of his flannels. I crawled over sitting in the middle of the shirt pile and pulled out the piece paper opening it.

“Nikki, I know you’re mad at me. I know there is nothing I could ever do to get you to forgive me. Hell, I don’t forgive myself for what happened. I was trying to protect you and Sam from the Blade… from me. I hurt you both in ways I could never imagine but especially you. I wish you would just talk to me one last time. Let me try to make things right. Let me say I’m sorry in person. I love you, Nikki. I was never able to say that out loud to you and I don’t want to go through life without saying it at least once to you. All the women I have been with and none of them make me feel as you do. I’m the best version of me when you are around and I need you. I love you and I need you. Please come back to me. -Dean”

I ran my fingers over his handwriting that was distinctively beautiful in his own way just as he was. All this time waiting for him to man up and say those words. Three little words and it was in a damn letter. I fold it the letter up walked into my new bedroom placing it in the top drawer of my dresser. Standing there letting the anger from everything that had happened and reading his letter fueled me. There was no time for sulking, weeping or wallowing. No, it was time for me to get my life together and not think about the past. Look forward and move on.

I found my old records And all my books I found my old Bee-Gees But the turntable, you took I made a call into work I said I can't make it in today I'd sleep it off But I'm too awake And all the time the jokes that did not make any sense I finally figured out the punchline was at my expense, yeah My expense

Six months after leaving everything behind and moving back home I had found a job and was able to move out into my own apartment. Megan was on her way over for our weekly dinner and movie night. When I opened the door for her I was met with a large box being carried by her boyfriend. “Hi, you didn’t need to bring me a present.” She chuckled at me as she kissed her boyfriend goodbye. “It arrived for you this morning. It’s from Kansas so it must be from…” I held up my hand for her not to finish. “Well, it can wait until tomorrow after I’m off work. Right now, it is girls’ night and Captain Steve Rogers is waiting for us.” Megan laughed as we settled in with beer and pizza.

That night I tossed and turned thinking about the box. Not getting any sleep, I decided to call into work for the first time and tried to sleep off the funk that was stuck on me like a fungus. After lying in bed for what seemed forever I got up picking up the box and placing it on my bed. Cutting it open with the knife I kept at my bedside I looked inside to see a bunch of my things and another letter. I set the letter to the side and looked through my things. Quite a few of my books that Sam had borrowed throughout my time living in the Bunker. A few records I had bought to play on Dean’s turntable and now had no way of playing them for myself. Finally, my favorite band t-shirt of Dean’s It looked like it had been wadded up in the bottom of his closet which pissed me off.

“Nikki, is that my Led Zeppelin 1977 Tour shirt?” Dean asked as I nodded looking down at it. “You said I could grab any shirt from your bag to borrow since all my shirts are stained in Vamp gunk.” They had just finished a case in Nebraska taking out a nest of Vamps. Sam had been working a case in Sioux Falls with Jody and Claire. “You so know that is my favorite shirt, right?” I looked up nodding as if I did not know everything about him already. “If anyone were to mistreat that shirt in any way I would be heartbroken and upset.” When I focused on him I saw he was actually nervous about me wearing the shirt. “Do you want me to take it off?” There it was, his tell. The corner of his lip slowly rising into a smirk as he nodded. “You’re a jerk. You were just trying to Vulcan Mind Meld me into taking off my shirt!” I shouted as I threw a pillow at him. He caught laughing, “It almost worked too.” I huffed sitting on the bed brushing my long hair. “Awe, don’t be mad plus it looks better on you than it does on me. You should keep it.” I kept my shoulders straight and huffed. “You know I will keep because you were being a jerk.” I glanced over my shoulder to see him pouting as I looked back I smiled as I did a victory dance in my head.

I picked up the letter surprised to see Sam’s handwriting. “Hey Nikki, I hope you are well. I miss you a lot and have been tempted to find your new number to call you. I was cleaning Dean’s room out and found a few of your things in there. I also wanted you to have your books back. Things are… complicated here since you left, but I understand why you did. Sorry, the shirt looks like a giant ball of winkles. Dean has been sleeping with it every night since you left and now that he has left the Bunker I figured I would send it to you. He’s hunting hardcore now across the country by himself. I mainly stay in the Bunker to do research for him and take on local cases or work with Jody and the girls. He says he wants to be alone and it worries me but you know how stubborn he is. Anyway, I’ll stop blubbering. I hope to hear from you when you’re ready of course. Miss you. -Sam” I folded the letter putting it with the other one in my top dresser drawer. I missed Sam and Castiel a lot, but it was for the better to have a clean break.

I looked out my office window admiring the snow falling on the streets of downtown as my manager walked in. “Happy one year of putting up with me.” She said as I laughed. She sat down the small cupcake on my desk sitting in one of the chairs. “Thank you, Suzy. It’s hard to believe it’s been a year already.” She nodded as we chatted about upcoming events and meetings for the next hour. She got up to leave, “Why don’t you get out of here early. There is nothing that can’t wait until Monday. Have a great weekend.” I smiled thanking her and started packing up my laptop. As I walked out on to the busy sidewalk I had no idea I had a date with fate. Looking down as I grabbed my phone out of my pocket I ran into a sturdy body knocking me backwards. “I’m so sor…” I looked up into a familiar pair of forest green eyes, “Dean?” I whispered.

With nowhere to go And all the time the answers were in front of my face I try to think about tomorrow but I can't forget today I cannot forget today (Today) I'm back home

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