#clint fanfic

[musings-of-a-rose]

A New Life

Pairing: Clint “Freaky Tales” x f!readers (there’s 2, both have nicknames)

Word Count: 11,000+ (it's a long one, folks!)

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: a huge shoutout to @nerdieforpedro for beta reading this and giving me the confidence to actually hit post. And to Mr. Rose for helping me out of a corner.

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**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Clint Masterlist

CLINT

“No! No, please! Tell The Guy I'll step back from his territory!”

Clint stares down at the man who's now covered in his own blood, coughing and spitting up the red liquid onto the floor, splashing a little onto Clint's shoes. He looks at the man and grabs his hair, yanking his head back and staring him in the eyes, seeing fear at the rapidly approaching end of his life. 

“Then you should've stopped when we warned you.”

Clint slides his knife into the man's abdomen, watching as the man coughs and sputters, small gasps all he can manage as the life leeches from his body. When he slumps, Clint knows it's over. He sits back, shaking his head and sighing, looking around at the mess all over the tarp he'd placed on the floor. I'm getting tired of this.

He cleans up and disposes of the body properly, his stomach rumbling by the end of his work. A quick glance at his watch tells him it's nearly 3am. He hopes there's still someplace open where he can at least get a cup of hot coffee. 

He drives in the general direction of his apartment for nearly 15 minutes before he sees the neon OPEN sign on the side of a little corner diner. He parks around the back, adjusting his pants and smoothing down his shirt before heading inside, a little bell ringing as the door swings open. It's quiet, only one other person sitting at a booth in the back corner, a man who doesn't look when the bell dings, too absorbed in his own issues. 

“Hey, hun! Have a seat wherever and I'll be right over!” The waitress calls from somewhere behind the counter. Clint looks around and finally settles on sitting at the counter, spinning to face the counter on the bar stool. 

The waitress suddenly appears, smoothing out her skirt before turning to face him and when she does, Clint momentarily forgets how to breathe. She is the most gorgeous woman he's ever seen and her smile makes him feel warm and safe, things he hasn't felt since he was a child. And even then, that's debatable. 

Her smile is bright and wide. “Sorry to make you wait! That damn sink pipe’s entire purpose is to annoy me, I swear. Want some coffee, hun?” She's already got the pot in her hand, regular, not decaf. He nods and she pours him a mug with a smile, sliding a small bowl with some creamer and sugar packets towards him. 

“You look hungry. You a steak man?”

Clint pours one of the sugar packets into his black coffee. “I like steak.”

“Great! The steak here is-” She leans closer to him “-edible. But it's best in town at 3am!”

Clint chuckles, the sound almost unfamiliar to him. “Sounds perfect.”

She writes down his order and turns, placing the ticket in a clip and rotating it, dinging another bell so the cook knows he has an order. 

“James? You back there? You have an order!”

There's some sort of affirmative grunted towards her that she accepts with a shake of her head, turning back to face Clint. 

“James is a nice guy. Lost his hearing in one ear in the war. Sometimes you have to be a little louder for him. At his request of course.” 

Clint nods and takes a sip of his coffee, expecting it to taste bitter and cheap, exactly like what you'd expect coffee at a diner open at 3am to taste like. But to his surprise, it doesn't. A pleasant mix of coffee beans washes over his tongue and he can't help a little moan escape him. 

A different smile, this one more sly. “You enjoying your coffee?”

Clint feels the tips of his ears heat up. “Uh, yeah.”

“I'm glad you like it, Mr….” Her eyebrows raised and Clint chokes down his sip. 

“Clint. No need for a Mr., ma'am.”

She waves her hand with another smile. “No ma'am here. I'm not that old!” She chuckles and tells him her name. “But everyone calls me Poppy.”

Poppy. He likes that name. It makes him feel happier somehow, like she's somehow taking care of him, not just because she's a waitress. 

She continues chatting with him while she bustles around, cleaning things and restocking sugar trays, and cleaning menus, Clint chiming in now and again. The man in the back corner eventually leaves and they're alone in the diner together. Aside from James in the back, who had just set his plate down on the back counter. 

“Thanks, James!”

“I'm going out for a smoke, Poppy.” 

She gives him a thumbs up and James takes off his apron, walking out of the side door. Poppy turns and makes a little fanfare of bringing him his diner steak and potatoes, setting it down in front of him and then casually placing the A1 steak sauce next to him. 

“You might need this.” She winks at him and he melts, what can only be described as butterflies in his stomach. 

Get it together, Clint. You don't do this. You don't like people like this. Fall for people. 

But then he's done with his steak, telling her some funny stories from his childhood. She's sitting across the bar from him, leaning on her elbows as she listens, laughing at all the right places. He's trying desperately hard to not be obvious in staring at her boobs, which had been pushed together tighter the more she leans forward. 

“If you don't mind me asking, Poppy. Why are you working this shitty shift?”

She cocks her head to the side slightly, her eyes on his. “Someone has to be here to serve you.”

He nods. “Yes but why you?” 

She waits a moment. “Maybe I'm just waiting for the right man to come on by.”

Shit. He had told himself she wasn't flirting, that she was just being nice to him for a tip. That he could just flirt a little and then be on his way. Normally, he'd take her out back and fuck her in his truck, promises to call again that he knows he'd never fulfill. But none of those women were her. None of them made him feel this way, her laugh and big eyes smiling at him while he sits here with blood on his hands and his past full of monsters.

So instead, he surprises himself. 

“Can I take you to dinner sometime?”

She glances at the clock on the wall. “If you're not too tired, I'm off in an hour and you can take me for breakfast.”

He smiles an actual genuine smile. “Breakfast it is.”

The conversation flows between them at breakfast, both of them laughing and joking throughout it all. And at the end, he walks her to her car, asking her on another date before they reach it, her enthusiastic “yes” giving him the confidence to kiss her, his hands cupping her face as their lips melt together. He presses her back against the side of her car, his body aching to be with her, inside of her. But not like this. She's different. She's special. He wants to take his time with Poppy. So he pulls back, a promise to pick her up in 2 nights for dinner. 

Clint takes her out on several more dates, falling harder for her each time he sees her, hears her laugh, sees how attentive she is towards him. He doesn't think he deserves her, knows he doesn't, but maybe she's his way out of his world of darkness and bad deeds. The world he's kept hidden from her, whether because he's afraid she'd leave him or he's too afraid to bring his darkness into her light he's not sure. 

But Clint knows he can't leave her. He's gone too far. 

2 weeks in, and his resolve to treat her like a lady, an actual relationship, which is what they'd finally called it, snaps when she opens her door in a black dress that accentuates everything about her that he loves. 

“I know we were supposed to go out tonight Clint, but I thought maybe I could cook for you instead?” She looks nervously up at him and he knows right there, he'd do anything she asked him to.

“If it's not too much trouble.”

She shakes her her, chuckling lightly. “Not at all. Come on in.” 

Clint follows her inside, hearing her lock the door behind him. He kicks his boots off and places them by the door. 

“I thought we could have steak. A real one. Dear James does his best with what he has but…” her voice trails off and Clint chuckles. 

“Steak sounds delicious.”

“Great! Would you like a quick drink before I start cooking? Or are you too hungry?”

“A drink sounds great, thanks.”

He takes a beer from her and she leads him to the couch. They both sit, taking sips from their drinks before setting them on the coffee table. He's nervous, his palms a little sweaty. Why is he so nervous? Clint looks at Poppy and he can see the way she's shifting around slightly, obviously nervous herself, which somehow gives him the confidence he needs. Confidence that he's never had a problem with before. 

When he touches his lips to hers, he knows he belongs to her forever. 

POPPY

I knew what I was doing, inviting Clint in for dinner instead of going to a restaurant as we had planned. But I wanted to take care of him, try and help quell that sadness and regret hidden just behind his eyes, the darkness he swallows and blinks away when our eyes meet, for the sake of me. 

We settle on the couch, each taking a sip of our respective drinks before setting them on the coffee table. I see him wipe his palms across his jeans, a sweet, nervous gesture and I smile shyly, turning my head to the side to tuck some hair behind my ear. I look back up at him and find him looking at me already, his deep brown eyes seeing into me and I feel myself stepping off the cliff, diving headfirst into love. Could it be love this early? I’d felt it before once, in my youth. But I had been burned and so kept my heart behind a lock but somehow, Clint already had the key. 

He keeps his eyes on mine when he slides closer to me, hesitating briefly before placing his hand on my bare thigh, my skin tingling where he touches me. I angle my body towards him a little more, feeling his large hand cup my cheek, a soft smile on his lips before he leans in, pressing his lips to mine. We’ve kissed plenty, made out in the back of his truck for hours and hours, but this is different. The energy has shifted, our paths fully converging to become one. 

He slides his hand on my thigh up higher and I spread my legs for him, opening more than just my body to him. His fingertips brush against my panties and I inhale sharply against his lips, his hand stalling. 

“Is..is this ok?” He asks, a nervous tremble in his voice.

“Please,” I whisper, begging him to touch me again. “Please touch me.”

He kisses me again, pushing his tongue into my eager mouth and I feel him between my legs again, gently stroking up and down, up and down, feeling how wet my underwear has become. He pushes aside my panties, slowly swirling one thick finger around me before pushing in, my whine breaking our kiss before he grunts out, mumbling something about how tight I feel. 

He deepens the kiss, his finger gently stroking inside of me, brushing against me and I moan into his mouth, my legs twitching. When he stops, pulling away from me, I think I’ve done something wrong. But then he slides from the couch, getting on his knees, kissing my thighs as he hooks his fingers in my underwear, sliding them off and tossing them over his shoulder. He pushes my legs open wide, putting them over his shoulders as he stares between my legs, eyes dark and admiring. 

He looks up at me and I nod, knowing what he wants even though I’m not really experienced with it. He places soft kisses on my inner thighs, slowly moving to where his hand had been moments before. When his tongue touches me, I gasp, a breathy “oh” escaping me while my thighs try to slam against his head of their own volition. He chuckles against me and I moan at the vibration, feeling him wrap his hands around my legs to push me open wider. His tongue is relentless, swirling around, tapping, and I reach for him, tangling my fingers into his hair and tugging on it when he lightly sucks on me.

“Oh…oh, I-” I break open, cry out as I come, Clint’s tongue guiding me through my release. I release his hair, my legs falling open as he sits back, wiping his face with the back of his hand. 

He stands, offering me his hand and I take it, allowing him to pull me up against his body. He smells like cedar, a hint of cigarette smoke, and me, my head swimming with the scent of it all. 

“Bedroom?” He asks, his eyebrows raised.

I nod, almost too much in my enthusiasm. “This way.”

I take his hand and lead him on wobbly legs down the small hallway to my bedroom, grateful that I had made the bed this morning. Clint closes the door behind himself and turns to look at me. Several long moments pass where we just look at each other, the energy in the air electric, as if he didn’t have his head between my legs just moments ago. He closes the distance between us in a step or 2, stopping just short of me.

“Turn.”

I do as he says, feeling his large hand work my zipper down, his fingers brushing against my skin as he pulls the dress down and off, coming back to do the same to my bra. He moves my hair off my neck, placing soft kisses there as one hand wraps around my boob and the other dips a finger between my thighs. My head lolls back and I moan, feeling him pinch and tug at my nipple as I get wetter and wetter. I can feel him nearly bulging out of his jeans, the denim pressed against my ass, so I gently grab his wrists and turn around. 

I say nothing as I start to unbutton his flannel, sliding it down and off his broad shoulders, noting the appearance of a new scratch on his chest since the last time he’d taken his shirt off around me. I keep my eyes on his face as my hands unlatch his belt, popping open the button on his pants before carefully sliding down his zipper. I push his jeans down, getting on my knees to help slide them off of his legs. I look up at him as I pull down his underwear, a small grunt from him as he springs free. I want to return the favor, take him in my mouth but then his hand grips my chin, pulling me back to standing. 

“I’d love to feel your mouth on me, but Poppy, I want to make love to you.”

He helps me lay back on the bed, his eyes roaming over my naked body, more dark loving than I’ve ever seen them.

“You’re so beautiful, Poppy.”

I spread my legs, allowing him to settle between them. He kisses me, soft at first, his mustache tickling my upper lip, his hands sliding across my body, goosebumps following in his wake. His lips travel down my neck, finding a spot just below the side of my jaw that has me squirming, my fingers burying themselves in his hair. 

But then he pushes in and the world stops, nothing else in the world exists but us. We meld together, our bodies moving as one, slotting together like we were made for each other. I writhe under him, his hips breaking me open out of my cocoon, showing me what pleasure really is, what love really is. His hips thrust a little harder and I come, his name tumbling from my lips like a chant, praising him as my nails dig into his back. I feel his hips sputter, soft grunts and pants in my ear as he comes with me, his forehead coming to rest against mine. 

“Holy shit,” he says, his breath puffing out against my face. “That was..”

“It was.”

He lifts his head and looks at me, kissing me softly before pulling out, and getting a washcloth to clean me up. 

A steak dinner never tasted so good.

CLINT

He was the happiest he’d ever been. Poppy was a beacon of light in the darkness that was his life, always there to welcome him with open arms. It had only been a few weeks, but he loved her. He knew deep down that he never wanted to be without her. 

He just felt so fucking guilty about it. 

He was torn on telling her about his job, his real job, not the one he told her he did. He wasn’t a delivery man, although he did deliver whatever terrible fate that The Guy bestowed upon those who crossed him in business. He’d been a little too preoccupied tonight and his mark managed to slice his cheek with a knife before Clint snuffed the life from him.

But Poppy doesn’t even question it, just takes him into the bathroom and gently cleans his cut, dabbing some alcohol on it that burns, but not enough to distract him from the guilt he feels. He knows he has to get out. 

A few months go by and he couldn’t be happier with Poppy. They had been dating for about 8 months and he wanted desperately to ask her to move in with him, but first he had to leave The Guy. He couldn’t have him showing up whenever he felt like it. No matter what, he would protect Poppy from that side of his life. 

After he kills his next mark, he heads back to The Guy to give him his confirmation of delivery, so-to-speak. 

“What would I do without you, Clint?”

Clint shifts his weight to his back leg, hands on his hips. “Actually, I need to talk to you about that.”

The Guy sits back in his chair, lacing his fingers together. “Oh?”

Clint clears his throat. “Yeah. I uh, I need to retire.”

The Guy raises an eyebrow. “Retire?”

“Yeah. My body isn’t what it used to be. My knees almost gave out tonight. I can’t continue like this.”

The guy sits there, his fingers still laced together as he studies Clint. “You have served me well, Clint. I’ll let you out, holding onto that evidence in case you try to cross me-”

“I would never. I’m not a snitch.”

The Guy holds up a hand. “I know. One can never be too careful these days. I think you get that?” Clint nods. “Good. I’ll let you out but I have one more delivery for you to make first. You’re the only one I can trust with it. What do you say?”

Clint stands there for a moment, thinking about his options. He only has one. “Deal.”

They shake on it, The Guy gives him the details, and Clint is out the door, feeling a little lighter now that he can see the light at the end of the tunnel. He’s finally getting out, starting a new life free of bloodshed with the love of his life.

He killed that last mark in near record time, The Guy shaking his hand and thanking him for all of his hard work. 

He knows she’s on the late shift again tonight, so after he cleans up, Clint heads over to the diner, their diner, watching Poppy move about through the dusty window. She smiles at a customer, but when Clint walks in and she sees him, her entire faces lights up, her eyes beaming as she crosses the room, pressing her lips to his and forgetting herself for a few seconds before pulling back, her face hot.

“Clint! To what do I owe this surprise?”

“Move in with me.”

He hadn’t meant to ask it like that, so blunt and harsh. But he couldn’t wait anymore and it sort of just came out when he opened his mouth. Surprise on her face, her eyes widening for a moment before that smile splits her face again, the one she has only for him.

“When can I get my things?”

They get married exactly 1 year from the day they met.

“Poppy! What are you doing?” Clint rushes into the kitchen, quickly snatching the knife Poppy was using to spread peanut butter on her sandwich. 

“Clint, I’m pregnant, not sick. I can do it myself.”

“The doctor said to rest.”

She smiled, a soft smile and squeezed his bicep. “The doctor said for me to relax the last 2 months. Not stay in bed entirely.”

Clint sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Just..let me do things for you, ok? Have a seat on the couch and I’ll bring your food.”

Poppy looks like she wants to argue for a moment, but then gives in, tossing her hands in the air before heading into the living room. 

“And don’t forget the-”

“Apples. I got it, Poppy.”

Clint arranges 2 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and some apple slices on a plate, also grabbing a glass of water to set on the coffee table in front of her. She reaches for the plate with grabby hands, smiling and shifting her weight as she settles in, making light work of the food before downing half the glass of water. 

“Thanks, babe.”

Clint puts his arm around her shoulders and kisses her head. “Anything for you.” He shifts a little. “You need a foot massage?”

“The day I turn down a foot massage, just know I’m a clone.”

Clint chuckles as he helps Poppy turn, laying back on the couch, her head on the arm. He takes one of her feet in his hands and starts to work them, spending extra time on the knots and sore spots. The sounds Poppy makes has him shifting in his seat, his hands starting to work up her legs. He gets to her upper thighs, leaning down to press kisses along her inner thigh before she gently grabs his wrist. 

“Hey now, that’s what put this here,” she gestures to her belly. 

Clint presses another kiss to her inner thigh, higher up this time, listening as her breath hitches. “Well then, let me help you relax.”

Clint spends the next hour buried between her legs, Poppy’s fingers twisting in his hair, his fingers digging into her legs as she chants his name over and over and he thinks this would be the perfect way to go: smothered between his wife’s thighs.

“And that makes the last payment! Will you be taking home the crib today, sir?”

Clint puts his wallet in his pocket, nodding to the cashier. “I’ve got my truck out front.”

“Let me call for some help.” The cashier leans over her mic and asks for someone named John to come to the front for customer assistance. She makes idle chit chat with Clint, asking how his wife is doing so close to her due date.

“She’s stubborn and better be sitting her ass down and letting me take care of her,” Clint chuckles along with the cashier. 

“Don’t be too hard on her. She is fighting that nesting urge. It’s hard to resist, trust me!”

John comes up and takes the other end of the large box that contains a beautiful wooden crib that Poppy had laid eyes on months ago, determined to have that exact one for their baby. Clint had put it on layaway that same day, making sure he’d pay it off in time to assemble it before the baby’s arrival. He thanks John and takes off, glancing in the back at the box and smiling a little, already envisioning Poppy’s ecstatic face when she sees what he’s brought home. He turns onto their gravel drive, pulling into his parking spot and shifting the truck to park. He glances up at the house before reaching for the handle and freezes.

The door is cracked open. 

It’s very unlike Poppy to leave the door open, even when bringing in groceries. Clint’s eyes remain glued to the door, but he leans over to open the glovebox, carefully extracting the handgun he had stashed there. He checks the make sure it’s loaded before getting out of the truck, cautiously moving towards the front door, his stomach twisting tighter and tighter the closer he got. 

There were wood chips on the front step, an indication that this was not simply a case of forgetting to close the door. Someone had broken in. Gently, he pushes the door open, waiting a moment and hears nothing. He steps inside, gun raised and ears on high alert for anything, any sound. The main hall and living room are empty, aside from furniture tossed about, some of it destroyed. But as he cuts through the dining room just about to reach the kitchen, his boot slips and he looks down, choking back the fear and panic that immediately threatened to take him over.

Blood. 

He pushes into the kitchen, eyes roaming around at the mess and then he steps around the island, dropping to the floor and tossing the gun aside. 

“Poppy? Oh God Poppy? Can you hear me?” He cradles her head in his lap, tears flowing down his cheeks. Her color is pale and he can’t tell where the blood is coming from exactly. But then she blinks and he lets out a choking cry as she looks at him.

“Hey baby! Don’t move. I’m gonna call someone.”

“C…Cl…Clint…” Her words are choked and he can tell she’s holding back tears.

“Ssshh don’t talk, baby. You’ll be alright. I’m here now.” He reaches up on the counter, hand tapping around and landing on the phone before pulling it down to him. He quickly dials 9-1-1, barking at the responder to send an ambulance immediately before Poppy calls his name again and he drops the phone.

“They’re coming, Poppy. Just hold on.”

“Clint…I…I love you.”

“Hey now, none of that. You’re going to be ok, you hear me?” His throat is tight, his stomach churning as he pets her head, wiping the blood onto his pants. 

“Please..be happy. I want…want you to be..be happy.”

“I will be happy because you’ll be here with me.” He cradles her head in his lap, the tears falling harder and she reaches up, a wavering hand smeared with blood that she places on his cheek. Their eyes meet and in them he can see her resolve, her sorrow not for her own life but for him, for not being able to be here for him.

“Be happy, Clint. Have..have a good life. I can’t wait-” she gasps and closes her eyes for a moment before blinking them open and he can already see the glossiness in them. “-can’t wait to hear..all about it. I…I love you, Clint.” 

He swallows hard. “I love you too, baby.”

She smiles, one last time before she slumps, the light in her eyes that hard brightened his life gone, snuffed out too soon. Clint wails, yells, screams, and sobs into the empty house, holding her close. The pain is too loud, too raw and real, threatening to overtake him. But then people are in their house, his house, trying to take her from him. He fights back, yelling and screaming they can’t take her from him, and then he feels a sting in his neck before the world blacks out around him. 

It’s a bright and sunny day, the sky a vibrant shade of blue, and just the right amount of fluffy, white clouds in the sky. Poppy would call it the most perfect of days, warm but not too warm, the perfect day to spend outside. 

Clint blinks in the sunlight as he watches them lower 2 caskets into the ground, one considerably smaller than the other, the priest saying some sort of prayer over them as the people gathered around shed their tears. Clint picks up a handful of dirt, holding it in his hand for a few moments while he stares down at the wooden boxes that contain his family, his future, all taken from him in the blink of a violent eye. He always thought he’d be the one to go out that way, in a bloody mess. But not them. They didn’t deserve this.

Clint tosses the dirt on the caskets and steps back, letting her parents toss handfuls on top as well, not really hearing them when they bring him in for a hug and mumble something about coming over for dinner. He doesn’t hear any of them as they file past him, patting his shoulder, telling him if he needs anything to just call. That they were all here for him. But what he needs the most, they can’t provide. No one can bring them back, bring her back.

Clint returns home, skipping the wake at her parents’ house for some quiet contemplation. The house is nearly silent, only the clock on the wall and the hum of the appliances make any sort of noise. Clint sits at the little table they had in the kitchen, staring down at the floor where he had held her for the last moments of her life. 

He had cried so much since then, wailing and screaming at the world, begging whomever is listening to take him instead, that he would gladly switch places with them, give up his sorry life for them to have a chance. But of course, nothing happened besides his throat hurting, his eyes stinging from overuse. 

But as he stares at the floor, depression and sorrow washing over him, a small thought ticks at the back of his head. He initially had thought it was a random break in, not all uncommon in Oakland. But when he had picked up the pieces of his broken life, he had noticed that nothing had been missing. All of Poppy’s jewelry, despite most of it being costume jewelry, was still there, so was the tv and pretty much everything else. It hadn’t clicked then, too preoccupied in his immediate grief to really think. 

This wasn’t a random act of violence. This was targeted. This was specific. This was for him. 

Clint hates himself anew, burying his face in his hands at the idea of him being the cause of their death. But then it hits him, washes over him and changes his purpose. Once it was to take care of her, of his family, but that had been ripped away and so had his future, his purpose. 

Vengeance. 

He had nothing left to lose. Nothing that anyone could possibly take from him. So why not go out in a blaze of violence, taking down everyone that was connected to his wife and child’s death.

Clint pushes his sorrow aside, locking it away gently as he gets to work locating those who would soon meet their day of judgement.

Several months later…

Clint sits in his truck, staring at the entrance to a seedy bar, watching a few wayward souls enter, one punching the other in the arm before the door closes behind them. He glances down at the paper in his hand, triple checking that he had the address right. He takes out a lighter and burns the paper, waiting until the last embers fade out before getting out of his truck and heading inside. 

He sits at the bar and orders a drink, taking a few sips before flagging down the bartender again, asking him if he recognizes a few names. The bartender, a middle aged man with eyes that had seen war, stares at him for a few moments before nodding towards a corner, a small group of men standing around the pool table. Clint thanks the bartender, leaving a large tip on the counter before turning in his stool to watch the men. There were 4 of them and they were already towing the line between buzzed and drunk, slightly stumbling around before taking their shots. 

Clint moves silently over, quietly sliding his blade into 2 of them, not waiting for their bodies to crumble to the floor before the other two even noticed he was there. One tried to swing at him, which he dodges easily, his blade quieting the man’s movements. The last guy, Rick, backed into a corner, desperately fumbling with something he had in the back of his pants, presumably a gun. Clint takes 2 large steps towards him, a second too late to see the man stop searching for the gun and grab a knife instead, swinging it wide and slicing into Clint’s side.

Clint stumbles, grunting for a moment before straightening up, dodging the man’s swings, ignoring the yelps from the other bar patrons as Rick swings wildly, knife cutting into the air just in front of Clint. He gets a few more blows in, pain searing into Clint before he grabs Rick’s wrist, turning it with a crack, Rick yelping in pain as his knife drops to the floor. Clint gets his knife to Rick’s side, pinning him against the wall.

“You killed my family.”

“Wh..what?”  

Clint presses the knife a little harder and Rick grunts in pain. “You killed my family.”

“Look look look. I don’t know who you are, man!” Another small push and Rick yelps again. “Can you be more specific?”

Clint glares at him. “In my kitchen. Woman. Pregnant.”

The color seems to drain from the man’s face as he recognizes the situation. “Oh..oh..well, listen, we were just given’ the assignment, right? No hard feelings. We were just doing what we were told!”

“Who told you?”

“Ah, look man. I can’t just-” Clint pushes the knife further, feeling warmth start to seep out around the knife. “-ok ok! Fuck, stop! I’ll tell you!” He whispers a name to Clint, a name that sounded vaguely familiar. Frances Stokes. He thinks he’s worked with him before.

“Is that all?” Clint barks out.

Rick furiously nods his head. “Yes, yes!”

“Thanks.” Clint drives the knife further in and up, waiting for Rick to slump over. But when he turns around, the barrel of a gun is pointed at him, the bartender obviously nervous.

“Get out of here, man! Just go!”

Clint doesn’t need telling twice. He doubts anyone in here will say anything, each of them involved in their other dark dealings to be in a place like this. Clint makes it to the front door, stumbling out onto the sidewalk, his hand clutched to his side. He glances down at his hand, seeing the crimson shine in the street light. He glances up and for a moment is transported: a woman, the same hair as Poppy’s stares back at him, only a few feet away, eyes wide as she takes him in. 

“Look out!” She yells at him, just in time for Clint to turn, stopping the man that had been running up behind him with a fist to his stomach. They both fall to the ground, rolling and punching before Clint gets on top, letting his fists fly as the guy’s head slams against the pavement. Clint shifts off of him, turning to see the woman still there, her hair like a shining beacon before he feels himself falling backwards, the blackness swallowing him.

Sunlight warms his face and for a moment, Clint feels transported. Like he was at home, safe in his bed with-

He blinks awake, reality slamming into him as he remembers punching the guy out before blacking out. His head feels like it’s splitting in 2, and his side hurts bad, like he had been stabbed - wait. He had been stabbed. He tries to sit up, groaning and laying back down when his head felt like it was splitting open.

“Hey, he lives! I wouldn’t sit up just yet.” 

Clint blinks rapidly a few times, the disembodied voice trying to permeate its way into the meat that is his brain right now. But then a person moves into his vision and it all comes flooding back: the woman from outside the bar. The one with hair just like Poppy’s.

“Where..” Clint coughs, just realizing how dry his mouth is. 

“Take it easy. I have some water here with a straw.” The woman grabs a cup off the side table and holds it next to him, pinching the straw inbetween her thumb and pointer finger so it stays in place. Clint debates for a moment on taking the drink from a stranger, but then again, if she had wanted to kill him, she’d have left him on that sidewalk. So he takes a few greedy sips before she pulls the straw from his mouth.

“Take it easy. Small sips.”

“Throat..dry.”

“Yeah, I know. You’ve been out for 2 days. But you have to take small sips so you don’t overload your system.”

Clint nods and the straw returns. He does as she says and realizes she was right. She sets the cup back on the side table.

“Where am I?” Clint lets out a small cough.

“You’re at my apartment. I couldn’t just leave you there, not after you took care of that man.”

The man. Right. “He ok?”

“I shouldn’t have bothered checking him, not after he nearly attacked me, but I’m a nurse and I took an oath so,” She gestures vaguely around the room. “He died on the sidewalk.”

Well that’s one less thing he has to worry about. “You don’t seem shaken about that.”

Her eyes go somewhere else for a moment before she blinks. “I’m no stranger to death.”

Silence rules the room for several long moments. 

“Are you hungry? I have some pain pills but we should get some food in you too. I also have some clean towels and clothes in the bathroom if you’d like to shower.”

“I think food sounds good.”

She nods and heads out of the room, distant sounds coming from the kitchen. Clint looks around the room. It was obviously her bedroom, sparsely decorated but a few photos of presumably family sit in frames on her dresser, as does an empty vase. She has a random poster on the wall, a movie poster for The Thing. The blanket he has is soft and light blue, but not frilly like he’d expect. But it is warm and comforting. She comes back in with a tray, a bowl of vegetable soup and a grilled cheese sandwich sitting on it, a glass of water off to the side. She places it on the dresser and walks to him. 

“Let me help you sit up.”

“Oh, I don’t want to mess your sheets up.”

She waves her hand. “Don’t worry about it. I can always get new sheets.”

She helps him sit up, Clint holding his head for several moments before the searing pain abates. She puts the tray over his lap, tapping on the tray next to 2 small pills. “Make sure to take those now and eat some food after. I’ll let you eat.”

Clint reaches for the pills. “Thanks, Flo.”

She cocks her head and looks at him. “Flo?”

Clint pops the pills in his mouth, taking a few more sips of water to swallow them with, hoping they act fast. “Yeah. Like Florence Nightingale. The nurse?”

She smiles and tells him her name. “But Flo. I like it.”

That night, Flo insists he takes her bed again, that he needs the space to recover. He tries to argue but she’ll have none of it, promptly telling him goodnight and to yell if he needs anything before closing the door most of the way. 

The pain in his side keeps him from getting a good sleep, pain throbbing out from the wound Flo had stitched up. He didn’t want to bother her, he could just grunt through it, but then she was there, softly pushing the door open and rubbing sleep from her eyes. 

“Fuck, didn’t mean to wake you, Flo.”

She yawns and stretches, her sleep shirt lifting a little and exposing a sliver of skin. “You didn’t. I have to get up for work anyway. But I can see you’re in pain. The meds not working?”

He shakes his head. “Not really.”

“That happens sometimes when you gain consciousness. Give me a minute.” She disappears into the other room and returns a few minutes later, some scrubs tossed quickly on. She has a small pill bottle in her hand and she shakes one out, handing it to Clint.

“You can have one of these now but not another until I get home, ok? It’s pretty strong so don’t go mixing it with alcohol or anything.”

Clint nods. “Got it.” He pops the pill and swallows it, thanking Flo as she sets down some food next to him. 

“I’m going to be home this evening, but if you need me, here’s my work number. Just ask for me.” She sets a piece of paper down next to the phone on the nightstand. She pauses for a moment and looks at him. “I’ll uh..see you tonight.”

The meds kick in when she leaves and mercifully, they knock him out, Clint finally able to get the sleep his body desperately needed.

Fuck, getting injured at his age was not fun. Stabbings hurt a lot more than they used to. When Flo gets home she brings him more food, then has him take another pain pill. He passes out again, his dreams carrying him to dark places with familiar violent themes. He thrashes about, trying to rid himself of the images, and is yanked from his nightmare by a hand squeezing his shoulder. Clint’s eyes fly open and Poppy is standing there, her hair framing her face. He reaches out to touch her cheek, his fingers barely touching her soft skin.

“Poppy?”

She’s saying something that he can’t make out, so he shakes his head and blinks a few times. But when he opens them, he sees Flo standing there, worry etched in her features. 

“Clint! Are you with me?”

He puts his hand to his head and nods. “I…I think so.”

She puts her hand on his chest, trying to help him slow his breathing. “Are you ok? You were making a lot of noise.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be. Are you ok?”

He takes a moment, his head still foggy. “I…will be. I think.”

She stands there for another moment. “Who’s Poppy?”

Clint's eyes harden as he glares at her. “What did you say?”

Flo pulls her hand back, regret in her eyes. “Poppy. You were calling her name. Is it someone I can call for-”

“NO! Don’t ever say that name again! Get out!”

Flo nods and leaves the room, closing the door behind her. Tears immediately fall down his cheeks and he buries his face in the pillow, remembering the first and last time he’d seen Poppy.

It was nearly a week before he could tolerate not being on those heavy pain meds. Basic ones now worked just as well and his head started to clear. He was having flashes of memories from the week but nothing concrete. He did feel like he needed to apologize to Flo but for what, he couldn’t clearly remember.

Clint walks to the kitchen, the movement feeling good. He puts together a dinner of sorts, random things he can find in Flo’s fridge that seems to just have ingredients, nothing premade. He just sits on the couch, taking a bite of a sandwich when the front door opens and Flo walks in, gently shaking out her coat before hanging it on the hook. 

“Raining?” Clint asks, his mouth still full of sandwich.

“Oh, hey! Yeah. Not so bad here but it was pouring by the hospital.” She moves around to sit next to him on the couch, her eyes studying him. “How are you feeling?”

“So much better. I really can’t thank you enough.”

She glances down at his plate with his small sandwich. “Why don’t I whip us up something warm? Just give me a few minutes to wash off the day.”

“Oh you don’t-”

“I have to eat too. I’ll just make more.”

She made something called pesto pasta, which Clint had never heard of before. It was different but he would eat it again for sure. They watched some game show and then the news before Flo was yawning. 

“You want to take your bed back tonight?”

“No, that’s ok. You take it. I’ve got my own little nest going out here.”

Clint chuckles. “If you’re sure.”

He gets ready for bed and sits down to get comfortable. It was then he noticed that he had left his medicine in the living room. Before he could do anything, there was a soft knock at the door and Flo comes in carrying the pain meds. 

“You forgot these. Figured you’d want them.”

“Thanks.” Clint takes the bottles and pops them open, swallowing the pills with the glass of water on the nightstand. Flo turns to leave but Clint stops her.

“Wait. Can I ask you something?”

Flo turns around to look at him. “Sure.”

“Did I…did I do or say anything to you when I was on those big meds?”

Her face hardens slightly. “Nothing I’m not used to. It’s ok.”

“Fuck. I’m sorry. What did I say?”

“It’s ok, really. I’ve had worse.”

“It’s not ok to me.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Flo, please. Tell me.”

She hesitates a moment, her eyes bouncing between his before she sits on the bed. 

“You were making a lot of noise one night and I came in to check on you. Your eyes opened but I don’t think you were really seeing things. You kept calling me Poppy. And when I asked who she was, you flipped out.”

Clint’s jaw tightens as the memory floods back. Her hair. That’s what made him think…

“Listen, you don’t have to tell me, Clint. I just wanted to know if I needed to call someone-”

“Poppy…was my wife.”

“Oh.”

Silence stretches on for several seconds before Clint swallows hard, continuing.

“She was…the love of my life. Made me a better man. Great woman. We got married…got pregnant. And then…” Clint clears his throat, blinking back tears, Flo waiting patiently, letting him take his time.

“I came home one day and they were…I held her while she…died.” He whispers the last word, but it’s like he yelled it, screamed it. He’d never talked about it with anyone, not even Poppy’s parents. 

Flo puts her hand on his and squeezes. “I’m so sorry, Clint.” He just nods, trying not to lose his shit in front of her. 

“You have her hair. It’s almost exactly like hers. So I guess I saw it and mixed with the meds, I thought…you were her.”

Flo nods, squeezing his hand a little harder. “I understand.”

Clint looks at her, his eyes hardening slightly. “How would you understand? How would you know what it’s like?”

She takes a deep breath before puffing it out. “I was engaged once. High school sweethearts. We were waiting to get married until we were out of school. Anyway, he was taking night classes and one night, this other guy decided it would be super fun to get drunk and drive….I lost my future that night. And I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”

Fuck. So she did know exactly how it feels.

“You remind me of him sometimes.” She says it so quietly Clint almost misses it.

“I do?”

“Yeah. It’s not…it’s in your small movements, the way the light hits your hair sometimes. So..I get it. Honestly, it’s just nice having someone else here. Someone who gets it.”

“Yeah. It is.” Clint squeezes her hand back and she looks at him, her eyes big in the lamp light, the glow bouncing off her hair and looking just like Poppy’s. 

Their hands stay intertwined for several long moments, Clint rubbing his thumb gently over the back of her hand. She scoots a little closer to him, her hand gently sliding up his arm. Clint’s breath picks up as her hand cups his cheek and they lock eyes, both silently asking the other if this was ok. Clint hesitates for a moment before slowly lowering his head to hers, their lips gently touching. Flo’s lips are soft and a little more plush than Poppy’s, but her tongue timidly brushing against his lips is all the permission he needs. 

His hand slides to the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her hair as he pulls her close, his tongue dancing with hers. She moans softly, clutching at his shirt and he feels his pants growing tighter. Flo pulls back slightly, resting her forehead against his. 

“Bedroom. Nurse’s orders.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Flo takes his hand and leads him to the bedroom, the door closing behind them. For a moment they stare at each other, another moment of confirmation before she starts to pull her shirt off, the rest of her clothes following. Clint matches her actions, his own clothes falling into a pile on the floor. His eyes roam over her body before stepping forward, pulling her face to his again. Her fingers glide up the sides of his body, her warmth pressing into him and it all feels so intense, but not bad. He walks her backwards, her legs hitting the bed and she breaks the kiss to climb up it, Clint crawling over her, Flo’s legs opening to give him space. Her hands lightly squeeze his biceps, which feels nice but then the light from outside hits her hair a certain way and for a moment he’s transported, sees Poppy. 

His hips push against hers as his hand grips her hair, her heat enveloping him as she moans, her legs wrapping around him. He blinks and it’s Flo again, but as he works his hips against hers, the light catches every now and then in her hair, he gets flashes of Poppy.

Fuck, this feels good. It had been so long since he’d held someone, felt them touch him like this. He had been alone for too long, not letting himself live fully. He felt guilty, even with Poppy telling him to live his life. His eyes find Flo’s and he can tell she goes somewhere else occasionally too, his guilt slightly lessening at the thought he’s bringing her some comfort like she is him.

He can feel himself getting closer to the edge. He licks his fingers and snakes them between their bodies, teasing her between her legs. He can feel her starting to squirm, her breaths starting to pick up. Clint grabs her hand with his free one, lacing their fingers together as he pushes her hand into the mattress slightly above her head. Her fingers dig into his skin but the second she tightens around him he comes, burying his face in her hair. 

When he rolls off of her, Clint pulls her to him, feeling her nuzzle further into his chest before falling asleep. He stays awake a little longer, gently tracing shapes on her back as he thinks.

In the morning, just before the sun rises, he gets dressed, gathering up the handful of personal items he had. He hesitates briefly, staring down Flo as she sleeps. He presses a kiss to her head, silently thanking her for everything she had done for him before he steps out into the morning light, back into his life of violence.

A Few Months Later…

“You thought you could just kill my family and nothing would happen?” Clint twists the knife he had in the man’s leg, smirking when he screams out in pain.

“N..no!”

“Then why did you come for them?” Clint taps the knife and the man whimpers. 

“I wasn’t…we weren’t going to.” Tears were streaming down the man’s face, fear at seeing the end of his life.

“But then you decided to try and find me? Why?”

The man takes a shuddering breath. “Will you not kill me if I tell you?”

Clint grips the knife and the man cries out. “How about I’ll kill you if you don’t?”

“OK! OK!” He takes another breath, inhaling sharply through his nose. “We weren’t trying to seek revenge. But then one day, we get invited to this house and get handed everything on you. Who you are, where you live, all of it.”

Clint cocks his head. “Who gave it to you? Why?”

“They..they said they would give us a chance at revenge. Only if we promise to…to take you out.”

“Take me out. Why did you kill my wife?”

The man blinks, swallowing hard. “We were told to since she was…since your line would be carried on.”

Clint had to take several deep breaths so he didn’t turn this man inside out. He still needed one more piece of information. Someone had betrayed him, and he had a strong feeling he knew who. He swallows down his rage and looks the man in his eyes.

“Who?” He grunts it through gritted teeth and the man shivers. 

“He’ll kill me.”

Clint twists the knife hard and the man screams, jerking around against his restraints. “Who?”

The man seems to rethink his situation. “The….The Guy.”

That was the answer Clint was hoping not to hear but had a suspicion he would. It was the only thing that made sense. The Guy didn’t want him to quit, his best hitman. He knew the only way Clint would come back would be to have someone take away his new life. And The Guy made sure of that. 

Before the man could beg, Clint yanked the knife from his leg and slit his throat, waiting until the gurgling and sputtering stopped, his body still before he sighs, getting to work on cleaning up the mess. But his mind was elsewhere, planning and plotting. Which is why he didn’t hear another man coming up behind him until it was too late, his body falling sideways and slamming into the ground. 

The man gets on top of him, pulling out a knife. Clint dodges as best he can, but he does get a good knick on his shoulder. Grunting, Clint throws his body weight and the man, a lot skinnier than him, gets thrown off balance. Clint pushes up and manages to flip them, gripping the man’s wrist and slamming it against the floor, the knife clattering across the ground. No weapon in hand, Clint reaches for the man’s head, but his shoulder sends searing pain down his arm. He must have dislocated it when he hit the ground. Instead, Clint grabs the man’s hair, slamming his head into the ground until he stops moving. He gets off the man and sits for a moment to catch his breath, his shoulder throbbing.

Well this will make cleaning up suck. 

He can’t go to the hospital, but he knows he needs stitches. He can’t do it himself because of his fucking shoulder, which is just violently throbbing at this point. He knows where he can go, but should he? Finally, he gives in, knowing he has no other option. It’s not that he doesn’t want to see Flo, he does. He really does. But that’s the exact reason he shouldn’t go. He doesn’t need to bring his shit to her.

He sighs, knocking on her door. It takes a moment but the door opens and there she is, almost glowing, just gorgeous. And for a moment, he’d forgotten why he was there.

“Oh! You’re bleeding!” Flo takes his hand but he jerks it back.

“Shoulder is dislocated.”

“You’re just all kinds of fun. Come on in.” 

Clint heads inside, kicking off his boots before following Flo into the kitchen. She pulls out a chair from the table and motions for him to sit down as she goes to get her med kit. She returns a moment later and sets it on the table, moving to stand next to him. 

“I take it you’ve had a dislocated shoulder before?” 

Clint looks up, her eyes big and round and he momentarily wonders why he had left. He nods, preparing himself while she gets into position, gripping him.

“Ready?”

“Just do it.”

Flo nods, looking down at his arm. “1…2…I’m pregnant.”

“What?! FUCK!” His arm pops back into place, the initial sharp pain quieting down to a dull ache. Flo hands him some pain meds and a glass of water but he pushes them away.

“What the fuck did you say?”

“Take these. You’ll need them. I’ll also sling your arm.” 

“Fuck the sling. Flo, you’re…you’re pregnant?”

She takes the sling off the table, not meeting his eyes yet. She helps him get situated in the sling and reaches for the alcohol to start dabbing at his other arm. Clint had completely forgotten about the knife gash. But before she starts, he grabs her wrist, giving it a little shake so she’ll look at him. She sighs and meets his gaze, worry etched in her face.

“I..am.”

“Who…am…am I…”

“I’ve only been with you since the accident.”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He didn’t mean to get her pregnant. Fuck, this is not what either of them need. It’s not that he doesn’t want the kid. He would love to be a dad, was going to be a dad before…fuck. He has to kill The Guy or he’d find them and kill them too. FUCK. He has to protect them. Clint is so wrapped up in his thoughts that he doesn’t even feel it when Flo starts to sew his wound, tying it off and putting a bandaid over it.

“You should be all set. Just try not to fuck with that shoulder too much.”

Clint’s mind clears and he focuses on the main objective: to keep Flo and his unborn child safe. He can’t let them die for him, for his mistakes. He will never let that happen again, even if it kills him.

“I’ve gotta go.” Clint abruptly stands and pushes past a bewildered Flo, grabbing his keys and closing the door gently behind him. It never occurs to him to say anything to Flo. She doesn’t need to know about this. About any of it. He’s so absorbed in his thoughts, he doesn’t hear the sobs coming from inside the home as he walks away from it. 

It takes him another month to locate The Guy’s new hiding place. He imagines it would be difficult for anyone to find - anyone who doesn’t know The Guy like he does. Clint watches from his steakout point, his eyes hardening and his brain sliding into his job mode, compartmentalizing what he needs to do to protect his family. What he should’ve done before.

The bodyguards at the door hesitate when Clint walks towards them, but soon they are silenced, slumping to the ground before they even had time to draw their guns. Quietly, Clint moves inside, making his way down the hall, silencing another several guards. The Guy really needed to hire better employees. He pauses outside of what looks like a main door, listening. From inside, he hears a familiar voice, a voice that has commanded him to do so many violent things for him.    

“I don’t care what it takes, I want it done!” A phone slams down, The Guy sighs. “I swear, it’s so hard to find good help these days.” 

Clint listens for a few minutes, hearing no other movement behind the door aside from The Guy, assuming he was alone in his office. Clint takes a deep breath and stands straight, holding his gun at the ready before pushing in the door and aiming his gun directly at The Guy. When Clint enters, The Guy glances up, all color draining from his face. He was totally alone and he knew from looking at Clint that the cat was out of the bag.

“H-hey Clint. How’s retired life?”

“Why?”

Beads of sweat start to drip down The Guy’s temples. “Why what?”

“Why did you kill them?”

He seems to debate for a moment, settling on the truth instead of pretending he didn’t know. “Look man, good workers are hard to find. And you were the best. You did everything for me and so when you wanted to leave….well, you knew too much.”

“So you took out my family?”

The Guy shrugs. “I figured maybe you’d come back if you had nothing left. Besides, I couldn’t have you continuing your line if they’d go to work for someone-”

POP!

Clint fires his gun, hitting The Guy directly in the forehead, his body crumbling to the ground. He listens for a moment, but no one comes running. No one else is here. Clint lowers his gun, dropping to his knees and buries his face in his hands, wailing and screaming, as he gets closure on the last chapter of his life.

Clint stands in front of Flo’s door, hesitating for a moment before knocking. He had been sitting in front of her apartment for another 2 weeks, making sure no one was casing the joint. But no one would - Clint had taken out the remainder of The Guy’s associates. No one would be coming for them. 

The door opens and Flo stands before him looking absolutely breath taking. Her eyes widen and her mouth nearly drops on the floor.

“Clint?” She whispers it, hesitating for a moment before reaching her hand out. 

“It’s me.”

SLAP!

Clint rubs at his cheek, chuckling a little to himself at the assault. He deserved that. He deserved more than that.

“What the fuck Clint? I tell you I’m pregnant with your baby and you just leave? Not even a word?”

He holds his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry, Flo. But I had to…had to make sure you were safe.”

“I don’t expect you to be involved, but you could’ve- safe?”

He nods. ”Can I come in?”

She studies him, her eyes somehow seeing through him and she nods, opening the door. “Lock it behind you.”

This time, he decides to tell her everything, about his past life, about what happened to Poppy, what he’d done now to protect them. How he couldn’t let it happen again, not when he has the chance to have a family again. To his surprise, when he was done, she flung her arms around his neck and hugged him, holding him tight. He hugs her back, swallowing down some tears and melting into her embrace. It’s several long moments before she pulls back, cupping his face with her soft, warm hands.

“It’s not your fault, Clint.”

He looks down, shrugs a little. “But-”

“You can’t control what other’s do. Poppy knew that. Why do you think her last words were of love and not revenge? She doesn’t blame you, Clint. She would want you to be happy. So, be happy. Even if…even if that’s not with us.”

His eyes snap to hers and he’s surprised to find tears there. “Do you want me to leave? I understand if you-”

“No!” She grips his face a little tighter. “No. I want you here, but I need all of you here. We need it. But if you can’t, I understand.”

“You…you want me? Even though I’ve…I’m a violent…”

She cuts him off by pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Look, I knew you were in some shit when we met. I’m not stupid. You came tumbling out of that bar stabbed and then tussled with another guy. I had to patch you up and you bled all over my floor. I figured you were in some shit. This is Oakland. But..you were also gentle with me and patient, even when I told you about my past and I thought…we had that moment and I know we were both a little in our heads during it, but it was..fuck, it was nice having someone, especially someone who..gets it. I like you, Clint. I don’t expect you to like me in the same way, but however you want to be involved in our lives, that’s fine with me.”

How the fuck did he lead such a violent and fucked up life, all the shit he’s done, and he managed to find not one but two amazing women who just cared for him despite it? Poppy never knew exactly what he did, but Clint always suspected she knew he wasn’t really a delivery driver. She just never pressed. Just carried on loving him. 

Clint reaches forward, cupping her face in his hand this time. “I want to be involved with the baby. And I’d…I’d like to see where this goes,” he gestures between them and she smiles, realizing his intent. 

“Really?”

“Really. But know that no matter what happens, I’ll always be here for both of you.”

Clint and Flo dated for a month or so before they decided it was easier to just move in together. They found a little place for their growing family, a little 2 bedroom place in a better area of town. Clint had had some extra money after taking out The Guy (and raiding his safe) and happily moved them all in. Clint is there for every weird craving, anytime she wanted something at 3am, foot massages, all of it. He loved being there for her, talking to her belly, but also being with her. Flo was the first person to help him realize that he still deserved love. And even if he didn’t believe it, he knew that Flo deserved it and he would spend the rest of his time making sure she had it. 

Their son Christopher came screaming into the world right on time. They got him cleaned up, wrapped in blankets and a little tiny hat and handed him to Clint. He gently takes Christopher in his arms, walking over to Flo who was still laying on the bed. Tears well in his eyes as he stares down at his son, Flo leaning her head on his arm and he sighs, happy that he’s finally getting the life he wanted. 

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[nataliasquote]

Tattoos for troubled minds | n romanoff

Summary: Natasha struggles to trust anyone when it comes to touching her body. But that becomes rather difficult when a tattoo idea comes into her mind that she just can’t shake

Warnings: mentions of scars, tattoo needles, slight internalised homophobia

wc: 3.6k

note: I don’t actually have tattoos (despite wanting one so badly) so this is probably really inaccurate. I do apologise if this doesn’t make sense. also, I hate this so much but the guilt of not posting is eating me alive so I’m sorry

-⧗-

Natasha was a quiet soul. She kept to herself, usually sitting at her own table in the Shield cafeteria, eyes focused on her plate of food as she ate quickly, just wanting to get out of there. None of the other agents dared make conversation with her, too spooked by her fighting skills to approach. But that didn’t bother her. Her hyper independence made her hesitant to trust people.

Clint was the only one she spoke to outside of working hours. They weren’t exactly friends, but she tolerated him enough to flash a small smile if she saw him in the hallways or feel slightly relaxed if they were paired for missions together.

And he liked her too, especially since her first words had been a jab at his choice of weapon.

“Bow and arrow? What did you do, get your training in a forest?”

But he didn’t take offense to it. After all, he’d made the call to save her and she owed him her life. Which is how, two years later, she was sprawled on his couch, chewing on take out pizza for the second time that week with a scowl.

“I think I want a tattoo.”

Clint frowned at her, wondering where her brain cells had disappeared to. “What?”

“You know, the permanent drawing-“

“Yes I know what a tattoo is Tasha,” he rolled his eyes at her teasing smirk, already over her sarcasm. “But you know it’s a bad idea for spies to have unique markings like that.”

Natasha shrugged, tugging up her sleeve to reveal a strange shaped scar across her bicep. “I’d say I’ve got enough of those naturally. And it would be hidden on my ribs or something.”

Clint just shook his head and turned back to his food. He was used to Natasha’s odd comments and her tattoo phase probably wouldn’t last in his eyes. Just like her ‘wanting to be blonde’ phase didn’t.

But it didn’t end. A month later and Natasha had fallen down the rabbit hole that was tattoo designs on pinterest, courtesy of a fellow agent who introduced her to the app. She didn’t understand it at first, but now it was 3am and her tablet screen was still glaring bright in her face, a plethora of images scattered across her screen.

She saved a couple to a board, now set on design and placement, before placing it to one side with a grin on her face. Natasha climbed out of bed and padded over to her mirror, pulling up her shirt and smiling softly to herself. But the dim lamplight made her scars glisten and she caught herself, a sudden feeling of repulsion shuddering through her body. She looked like a freak and no tattoo artist would want to go near that. Her scars weren’t normal and she wasn’t ready for the questions yet.

Tears glazed her eyes over and her arms snaked across her stomach, her reflection in the mirror now blurry. Even as the salty tears dripped down her cheeks and soaked the collar of her shirt, she didn’t step away, too engrossed with how disgusting she felt in her body.

That stubborn hope that the redroom failed to squash out had ignited inside her once more, except this time she just wanted to laugh at it. Natasha would never be normal. She was what they’d made her into, and a tattoo was never going to change that.

Clint noticed the change in her demeanor when she sat down at breakfast. Natasha barely engaged in her usual small talk, more focused on her food in front of her.

“Did you do anymore tattoo research yesterday?” He asked, knowing that would catch her attention. But instead of the usual spark, she remained dejected, stirring her yogurt half heartedly.

“Yeah,” came her response, albeit rather forced.

“There’s probably a lot of places in DC that would kill to tattoo a shield agent.” Nat shot him a look. “Just saying!”

“Sure. But I don’t think I can anymore.”

Clint looked at her with a frown. “Why not?”

Natasha just looked down and tugged at her sleeve, suddenly feeling exposed in her tight fitting suit. The image in the mirror from last night came into her mind and she pushed her food away, no longer hoodie. And beside that, she didn’t trust people she worked with, so how would she trust a complete stranger to add something permanent on her body? Getting a tattoo would be nothing but a dream for her, she knew that, but it still crushed her.

Clint studied his best friend for a moment in thought, before he placed his hand gently on her arm. “I might know someone who can help.” Natasha looked up, now interested. Her face was still stony but Clint knew she was excited. “A friend of Laura’s, we helped her out even before you came here.”

“An agent?” Clint hadn’t mentioned anyone like that before and it confused Natasha.

But Clint shook his head. “No, nothing like that. She came to Laura and I when she was a teenager and had nowhere else to go. And you know my wife-“

“Can’t let anyone suffer,” Natasha finished for him, warmth spreading in her stomach at the thought of the soft woman she’d grown to adore. Laura really did have the biggest heart out of everyone.

“Exactly that. Y/n was fourteen, I think, parents kicked her out of the house. How she got to ours, I’ll never know, but she just appeared on the doorstep one night and Laura melted at the sight of her.” Clint’s expression softened at the memory. “But anyway, what I’m saying is that she’s a tattoo artist. She’s got trust issues just like you and I think she’ll help.”

Natasha scowled at the last part, wanting to protest his comment. But she knew he was right; her trust issues were what got her into this mess in the first place.

“But she’s a kid?”

“No, almost the same age as you,” Clint said with a laugh. “You’ll like her, but she can be a little scary.”

“Scarier than me?”

Clint smirked. “Oh, you’d be surprised. That glare of hers rivals yours.” This vague description intrigued Natasha and Clint could see the cogs turning in her mind. “She knows what we do and she’s seen my scars. Trust me, they won’t put her off.”

Natasha’s head shot up, staring at her best friend with confusion. Was she that easy to read? Or did he just know her too well?

~~~

With the news of her favourite girls coming back home, Laura had been in a frenzy of cleaning and preparing. Clint had texted to say he was only minutes away so she left the dishes to soak and headed to the porch, anxiously staring at the track beside their house as she waited.

Anyone would have thought she was married to Natasha over Clint by the difference in reactions she gave them. Sure, Clint got a kiss and a hug, but Natasha truly got the special treatment, with Laura scanning her to make sure she wasn’t injured and quizzing her about how she was. Poor Clint was left to grab their bags as the women disappeared into the farmhouse.

Tea was poured and snacks were eaten in the cosy kitchen before the doorbell rang and Laura excused herself, leaving an anxious Natasha on her own for a moment. Muffled voices could be heard but she tried to go against her instincts of listening in and instead busied herself with a loose thread on the tablecloth. She heard footsteps approaching and turned in her chair, ignoring the way her heart thumped loudly in her chest.

The woman who walked in the kitchen doorway was stunning, Natasha couldn’t deny it, and her eyes darted to the patchwork of tattoos that littered her exposed arms. Their eyes met, and Natasha swore she could see the walls up in the other woman’s mind. But it didn’t scare her off. No. It brought her a weird sense of comfort and her body started to relax.

Clad in a black cropped tank and black cargo pants, Y/n hesitated in the doorway, duffle bag slung over her shoulder hitting the wall gently. Laura appeared behind her, gentle hands falling to her shoulders.

“Y/n, this is Natasha, the one I told you about.” The y/h/c girl made no effort to move. “She’s Clint’s partner.” Clearly not much of a talker, Y/n just nodded, not hiding the fact she was scanning Natasha from head to toe. She didn’t trust strangers, but she trusted Laura and Clint who seemed to love Natasha. So maybe she wasn’t a threat.

“Hi, you can call me Nat if you want.” No one called her Nat except Laura, but it was a feeble attempt to make the atmosphere more comfortable. Another nod came but Laura smiled.

“Do you want to go set up? All of your stuff is still exactly where you left it,” Laura addressed Y/n who adjusted the grip on her bag and disappeared down the hall without a word. Natasha’s eyebrows raised at Laura who watched her go, a fond look in her eyes. “She does speak, I promise.”

Natasha shook her head, brushing her off. “It’s fine, don’t worry. I can tell you care about her a lot.”

“She’s like a daughter to me, kind of like you are.” Natasha’s cheeks flushed at that. “She doesn’t have anyone except us, so I worry. She’s a real sweetheart though, she’s just been through a lot. Kind of like someone else I know.”

“I’ll be kind, don’t worry.”

Laura couldn’t help but smile as she stirred her tea. “Oh I know. She already likes you, you don’t need to worry about that.”

Natasha let out a sigh and started to play with the hem of her zip up jacket. It suddenly felt real, the whole tattoo thing. And whilst she weirdly trusted Y/n, it didn’t help ease her nerves any less.

The redhead sensed a new presence before she spotted her, standing in the doorway just like she was before.

“Ready when you are, Nat.” Her voice was slightly raspy from lack of use and she spoke quietly, almost as if she was scared she’d get into trouble. Natasha smiled softly at the sound of her nickname and squeezed Laura’s hand before she followed the y/h/c girl down the hallway of the house she considered her second home.

Clint’s office had been turned into a makeshift tattoo studio with all new equipment and furniture decorating the small space. The tattoo bed had a fresh paper layer on top and Y/n gestured for Natasha to take a seat.

“Ok, do you have an idea of what you want? And where?” Y/n sat down at a small table and picked up her pen before looking at Natasha expectantly.

“I’ve got a couple of reference pictures on my phone.” The small device was handed over and Y/n swiped between them, nodding in approval before setting it down. “The last one is just for placement ideas.”

“I’ll work up a sketch and you can tell me what needs changing.” Luckily Natasha’s design was incredibly simple and it didn’t take long for Y/n to hold up her page.

Natasha slid off the bed and slowly walked over, not wanting to startle the skittish girl. But Y/n just moved over, clearly welcoming the redhead into her space.

“I love that a lot,” Natasha praised, studying the simple lines. “But maybe it could be a bit smaller.”

“I can scale it down when I make the stencil, no problem. But is the design alright? Remember, it is permanent so I want you to be completely happy with it.”

Natasha studied it for a moment, a smile tugging at her lips as she imagined it on her body. Y/n had talent, anyone could see that even from such a simple drawing, and Natasha nodded before she slid the notebook back to her.

“I love it, I really do.”

Y/n nodded, grabbing her stencil paper from a drawer by her leg. She wordlessly began making the stencil and Natasha took this as her cue to return to her seat. She peered around the room, admiring a few pictures that were on the walls. Incredibly complicated tattoos which she guessed Y/n had done.

The young girl sketching away in the corner thoroughly interested her and something inside Natasha was drawn in. She wanted to get to know her because aside from the shy and hesitant exterior she was effortlessly cool and seemed sweet. Maybe Y/n could be the start of Natasha’s project to make friends.

“If you lie back on the seat and lift your shirt, we can make sure this is exactly how you want it before I start.”

Natasha took a deep breath and slowly lifted her shirt and lowered the waistband of her sweatpants so her hip bone was exposed. She shivered despite the room being warm, fully aware that her nastiest scar was on full display on her lower stomach.

But Y/n didn’t care. Or at least she didn’t make it obvious if it bothered her. “Is it ok if I touch your hip?” She asked, looking Natasha straight in the eyes. The redhead almost melted at her words, not used to ever being asked that question.

“Of course, do what you need.” Y/n’s fingers were soft and delicate as she placed the stencil on Natasha’s skin. She didn’t touch anywhere she didn’t need to and worked quickly, making sure it was fully stuck down before stepping back to allow Natasha to step over to the mirror.

Although it wasn’t permanent, Natasha’s heart was racing as she saw the way the black ink stood out against her pale skin. The symbol was small but perfect in her eyes, and she turned back to Y/n with a grin.

“It’s perfect!”

“Then I’ll get started.”

Due to the design being so small, it took no more than fifteen minutes for Y/n to complete. Her hand was incredibly steady and Natasha’s pain tolerance was so high she barely felt it. The room was silent aside from the faint buzzing, no conversation stemming from either woman. Questions spiralled around Natasha’s head but she knew this wasn’t the place to ask them.

Completely lost in her head, Natasha failed to notice the silence or the fact that her hip bone was no longer burning. Y/n kept working, wiping away the excess ink and making sure she hadn’t missed a spot. But it was perfect, as usual, and she gently tapped Nat on the thigh to snap her out of her head.

“You’re now free to look.”

Natasha grinned and hopped off the bed, holding up her shirt again as she looked in the mirror. Tears almost sprung to her eyes as she admired the finished product, and they probably would have tumbled down her cheeks if she had been alone.

A small spider sat on the front of her hip, legs slightly bent. It looked so delicate on her skin and for the first time in her entire life, Natasha actually liked looking at herself in the mirror.

“It’s so beautiful,” she began to ramble, unable to tear her eyes away. “You’ve got real talent Y/n, I can’t thank you enough. It’s so perfect.”

Y/n blushed and couldn’t stop the smile that graced her lips, catching Natasha’s eyes in the mirror and making the redhead freeze.

Her smile.

The young woman hadn’t smiled the entire time she’d arrived, but seeing her now was like a breath of fresh air. Smiling looked so good on her and Natash couldn’t get enough.

“If you want to show Laura, you can, but you’ll need to come back so I can wrap it safely.” Natasha glanced at her new addition and nodded, but hesitated once she was by the door.

“I think you should come too. The artist and her artwork.” Natasha spoke with a smirk and Y/n couldn’t ever imagine saying no to that woman. So she nodded again, her usual response, and meekly followed her back down the hall, pulling off her gloves as she walked.

Laura was already waiting for them in the kitchen and she placed her reading glasses in her hair to get a good look at Natasha who still hadn’t dropped her shirt down. She’d never seen the Russian with such a wide grin before, her usual collected expression completely out of the window.

“It looks beautiful, Nat, truly. You did such a good job Y/n.”

“You never told me how talented she is!” Natasha stepped to the side to allow Y/n to come forward, but the humble woman stayed where she was, already hating the attention. She didn’t see her art as talent, more like a form of escapism. But it made people happy and that was all she wanted.

“I wanted you to see for yourself,” Laura replied. “And besides, she never believes me when I tell her how good she is.”

“You’re really easy to tattoo. You don’t squirm or cry like other people do, so really I should be thanking you.” Laura was taken aback by Y/n’s comment, not used to more than three words coming out of the girl’s mouth. But the more she observed her, the more she saw her change. The darkness she’d noticed since Y/n was a teenager had lifted a little and she seemed a lot less guarded, looking over at Natasha with a soft expression.

And Natasha looked back at her just the same, purely in awe of how gentle she was. As Y/n gestured for them to return to the office and offered to hold Nat’s shirt, Laura felt like squealing like a child.

Two of her favourite people in the world had found each other and, despite both being so broken and fragile, fit together so perfectly it was like they were made for each other.

Natasha was strong enough and sure of herself enough for the both of them, and Y/n treated her with such delicacy and care that it slowly broke away Natasha’s trust issues and allowed her to open up. And Natasha’s protective nature came out around the other woman, wanting to keep her safe from the world.

With a quick word about going to show Clint, Natasha disappeared into the front yard with her newly wrapped hip, leaving Y/n to find Laura again. The older woman welcomed her with a hug and pulled a chair close to her own.

“You like her, don’t you?”

Y/n kept her gaze on the crossword Laura was doing, not wanting her eyes to give her away if she looked up. “She’s nice.”

“Hey,” Laura said softly, carefully taking Y/n’s hand in her own. She didn’t miss the way she flinched but unfortunately she was used to that by now. “You’re not back there. You’re allowed to like her if that’s what you want and feel. She’s a good person, but so are you, you don’t need to be scared.”

Y/n’s eyes followed where their hands were clasped up to Laura’s face, trying to find any hints that showed she was lying. But all that came back was the soft and caring face she’d grown to love, one that didn’t lie to her and didn’t hate her for who she was.

“I don’t like her like that.” Call her a hypocrite for lying, but Y/n had her reasons. Loving a woman was still unnatural in her eyes, despite her contrasting feelings that longed for it.

“Y/n…” Laura’s ‘mom’ tone was one she was used to and she knew she was caught out. “I’m not asking you to tell me now, but you deserve happiness, as does she. And I haven’t seen either of you that relaxed in a really long time. So please don’t push her away.”

Y/n didn’t know what to think. How could she? Her whole life had centred around hating who she was, so how could anyone ever like her like that? It messed with her head and Laura could see that.

But what was Natasha if not a life saver. She came strolling into the kitchen, her tshirt now tucked up into the band of her sports bra to allow her tattoo to be on full display. Y/n smiled slightly at the sight.

Sinking down into the chair beside her, Natasha noticed the clasped hands of the women and wondered what she’d interrupted. But that wasn’t her place to ask, so she turned to Y/n.

“How can I pay you? How much do you charge?”

Y/n shook her head frantically, pulling her hand away from Laura. “Nothing, honestly. You’re a friend, it’s no big deal.”

“Absolutely not. If you won’t take money, at least let me repay you another way.”

“Nat-“

“Dinner? How about you let me take you to dinner next week. You’re from the city, right?” Y/n nodded, her brows creasing. She turned to Laura for help but the older woman just smiled widely and nodded, giving her as much non verbal encouragement as she could. “Please, Y/n?”

She’d said yes before she could even process what was going on. After all, they were just friends going to dinner. People in the movies that she’d seen did it, so she could too.

What was so wrong with that?

[scar-lie]

My Wife [Natasha]

I DO COMMISSION JUST DM ME FOR THE INFO

Summary : Y/N the adoptive daughter of Clint Barton got rejected multiple time by the Black Widow, the best friend of his dad

 Pairing :  Natasha Romanoff x Fem ! Reader

Warning : Cursing, depression

Word count : 5059

No one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it please let me know.

"Here she is....AAAAHHHHH HERE'S MY WIFE." You beam while jumping up and down a little bit once you get up from the couch, pointing to Natasha, who just entered the living room from her room.

A series of laughs, especially from your father, Clint, who is happy to see you with this enthusiasm just by Natasha walking into the same room as you are, already gives you so much joy that it hurts to think to himself

"Arghh........please Y/N, I'm not your wife," Natasha groaned, going to the kitchen that's attached to the living room and getting a glass of white wine.

Pfff, yes, you are, even though I haven't put the ring on those beautiful, slender fingers of yours. You're my wife already........I know it," you said with a giggle, then ran to her.

"Stop, please, Y/N, I'm not your wife nor your girlfriend; for god's sake, I'm way older than you." You just ignored her sentence and hugged her from behind. Since she's taller than you, you cuddled your face on her back.

"Y/N," she sighs, taking your arms around her and pushing you gently.

"Come on, don't make your wife sad and pouty." You pout and give her puppy eyes, but she just rolls her eyes. She's already annoyed and already at her limit, but she just controls herself so she doesn't snap at you.

Natasha is already pissed and stressed by the paperwork. Fury gave it to her yesterday, and she still has one pile of it that needs to be done by tomorrow. This makes her beyond pissed, so your teasing and calling her wife makes her irritated, and the teasing by the team didn't help.

"Come on, Nat, don't make your little missy sad and pouty. Tony teases with a smirk and wiggles his eyebrows when Natasha's eyes and Tony's meet while you look over your shoulder and wink at them. That makes me giggle more.

"Nat, don't make my daughter, or should I say your wife, sad and pouty; you're going to regret it," Clint, your father, teases while drinking beer, and Natasha looks at him in disbelief.

'Seriously, you're pairing your daughter with me, your best friend, who's 15 years older than her?! ' Natasha asked herself and huffed.

Seriously, Clint, that's your daughter for god's sake," Natasha said in disbelief, and the team laughed while you just smiled at her innocently, hands held together in front of you, swayed your top body from right to left, and looked up at her eyes, and she scoffed.

"Argh....I don't have time for your bullshit," she spat, and she just left with her PB&J and her white wine, going back to her room.

"Another time," you whisper to yourself, a little hurt, then go back to joking with the team.

—

You're brushing your hair in front of your mirror on the vanity table while drying it. The only thing that's covering your naked body is your undergarment underneat the towel wrapped around your chest down to your mid-thighs when there's a knock on your door.

"Come in!" You shout with one closed eye, drying your front upper hair. That's when you saw Natasha enter your room in her black sexy dress, revealing her upper boobs and hugging her figures.

This makes you smile widely. Seeing your wife—well, not technically, but for you, she's your wife—wearing this beautiful dress and coming to your room here in the compound makes you flutter, so I put down the hair dryer, then turn around my chair, flashing her my wide smile.

"Arghh......will you cut that fucking grin of yours? You look creepy," she spat, but you ignored it and stood up, still smiling.

"Did you dress for me? Awww, you should inform me that we're going on a date." You fake pout, then run to her and hug her.

"Argh, get off of me, and no, I'm not going out with you; I'm here because I have something to tell you." Then she pushes you away, then crosses her arms across her chest, which makes her boobs get bigger, so I smirk and wiggle my eyebrows.

"Aww are you going to confess to me? That's sweet, but no need; I told you you were my wife, so it's—" she quickly cut me off with a harsh tone.

"No, and I'm here to tell you to stop calling me your wife; I am not, and stop going around and telling people that you're my wife because that's a lie," she said with gritted teeth and piercing angry eyes, looking at your soul.`

"I'm. Not. Your. Wife...............I don't fucking like you, your just a young woman who seeks attention to everybody, you're ruining everything, even my date, you little shit, just accept the fact that I'm not into you, you little attention seeker, she spat, the anger of her now spilling out, and this makes you shrink.

"You're out of my league; for God's sake, I don't need nor want a burden like you in my life, so fucking stop, you people's pleaser, bullshit!" she screams and gets out of your room, slamming the door shut on the way.

You just stand there, looking at the wall in front of you where she was previously standing, and a single tear falls down, followed by another tear. You're breathing heavily, and the towel around you makes you feel like it's trapping you tightly.

So you take it off, throw it away somewhere in your room, and start to claw your throat down your chest, crumble down on the floor, and crawl backwards until your bare back gets contact with your bed.

"Air... air...I-I....ne-need air," you rasp out, breathing heavily. Your neck and chest already have an angry red line, and you keep kicking the floor and squirming in your seat.

"Air......" Tears stream down your face as you try to get as much air as you can, but then there's another knock on your door.

"Y/N/N? Honey, are you alright? I heard some noises." Your Dad knocks, waiting for your response, but that didn't come; instead, a series of noises like someone keeping banging the wall or floor

"Honey?" Clint grows worried, so he quickly opens the door and finds you on the floor, gasping for air.

"Honey, oh god, breathe, baby, breathe," he said, taking you in his arms, holding you tightly, and putting your head on his chest.

"Listen to my heart and follow my breathing, baby," and Clint takes deep breaths while rubbing your back until your breathing is back to normal. Because of what happened, your body gives up, and you fall asleep in your father's embrace.

—

After what happened, you still call Natasha your wife, and this makes Natasha pissed off every time; even seeing your face already pissed her off. Of course, your father, Clint, didn't know what happened that night; all he knew was that you had a panic attack.

You don't want to cause any trouble between your Dad and his best friend, slash your ultimate crush—no, you've fallen for them—so you just make excuses and lie about the panic attack almost every night so you wouldn't cause any chaos on the team.

"Are you ready?" your father asked you when you came into the living room, bags in your hands.

"Yeah, I think all of my things are packed." You give him a sweet smile, so he nods.

"Ok, let's go; we're heading out now, guys. Bye." You two said your goodbyes to the team and waved at them. You turned around to go to the Quinjet but stopped when one voice bid them farewell.

"See you next week." You both looked back and saw Natasha just entering the living room.

"Yeah, see you next week, my wife." You wiggle your eyebrows again, and she instantly rolls her eyes, already pissed.

"Just get out of my hair for god's sake," she mumbled to herself, which no one heard, but you read her lips, so you just smiled at her.

"Don't miss me too much, ok? I'll just be gone for a week. Now be careful, my wife." You bid your good-bye with your father to Natasha and go to the quinjet, going home to your family that you missed.

—

A week and days go by, but Clint still hasn't come back to the compound with you, but the team understands when Clint informs them that he or you two can't come back just yet.

Well, you're not really a part of the Avengers (Your father didn’t let you just yet), but you grew up with them since Clint adopted you when they saw you—a 14-year-old girl trapped in a cell of a Hydra facility—so they took care of you, and Clint and Laura adopted you.

"Clint?" The two married couples look at the doorway when they hear a knock on the door followed by Natasha's voice.

"Nat? What are you doing here?" Clint asked once he opened the door, stepping aside to let Natasha get inside his house.

But Natasha quickly frowned, and then she got greeted with pure silence; not even Lila, Cooper, and Nathaniel greeted her, especially you, who show enthusiasm when you see her, but no, it's a complete silence, like only Clint or Laura are the only people in the house.

"Nat," Laura greeted her with a hug, and she returned it.

"What are you doing here? Not that I don't want you here," Clint said, and they sat on the couch while Laura made coffee.

"I'm worried; it's nearly two weeks and you and Y/N still haven't stepped foot in the compound." Clint looked back over his shoulder at his wife, and they exchanged looks.

"What? What is it?" Natasha quickly asked, knowing that something was definitely wrong.

"Clint." Laura nods at Clint as her husband sighs.

"It's Y/N." Then he stands up.

"Follow me." Natwsha quickly stood up, and she followed her best friend with her heart pumping.

"I don't know how you will react, but hold yourself together," Clint said, and with that, they opened your bedroom door, and there you are, laying in your bed, back facing them.

"What about her?" Natasha asked, seeing that there's nothing wrong but you're just lying down in your bed.

Clint nods at Nat towards you, so she walks around your bed just to find you, looking at the wall blankly, eye bags under your eyes; you're smaller, and now you're skinny as she last saw you, and you didn't hold a single emotion; it's all blank.

She gasps at it and steps her foot back, shocked at what she saw—the once-held beauty of a beautiful smile and the spark in your eyes every time she sees you are long gone.

This isn't what she expects when she steps foot on the farm. The first time she steps foot on the Barton's resident, she feels something isn't right.

Because every time she would pay a visit, even if she was far away, you could sense it and quickly run to her and greet her with a warm hug.

She should know better to know something is definitely wrong from the first time she feels something's not right, which was a week ago, two days after that night.

"Hey...Y/N?" Natasha whispers, slowly walking towards you and crouching down to your level.

Natasha bites her lower lips when she doesn't get any reaction or a single move out of you; you're just there, laying down, looking into nothing.

"Y/N/N... he-hey...please look at me," Natasha whispered, softly touching your arm, but still nothing. She bit her lips harder and looked at Clint, and the couple just shook their heads.

"Clint, tell me, Natasha begged, walking towards them, so Clint pulled her out of the room and closed the door.

"I don't know Nat, I-" Clint sighs, closing his eyes. It breaks him to see his daughter like this.

"It's just one day she's like that," Laura continued, eyes full of worry and sadness.

"When we got home, she was so jolly, and then after two days, she's just like that. I should have known that something was wrong the first time I noticed she was so jolly." Clint holds his wife's hand tightly, and Laura squeezes it back.

"What? What do you mean, Clint?" Natasha grows so anxious that she starts to rub her hand on her jeans.

"She has depression, Nat; she always has." Natasha gasps at hearing the new information and looks back at your closed door.

"It's my fault," she whispered to herself, tears running down her cheeks.

"I want to stay.......here?" She looked at the couple and wiped her tears.

"Until Y/N is better.....please" She clenches her hand with her nail digging into her palm, and the couple sigh, nodding.

—

Since the day Natasha knew about you, she has stayed by your side and refused to leave you. She will tell you how beautiful the weather is or how beautiful the night sky is. She will also tell you stories and read books while she lies beside you, but mostly she's hugging you tightly. When the night comes, once your eyes are closed, her tears run down, wetting your pillow, and she quietly sobs while hugging you tightly, telling you how sorry she was.

"Y/N/N, I have some of your favorite Y/F/S," Natasha beams, entering your room, and she sees you there, sitting up on your bed, which makes her stop.

Y/N-," she quickly runs to you, puts the snacks on your bedside table, and helps you up because she knows you always lose balance.

"Going to the bathroom?" You just shook your head and pointed to the window.

Out," you whisper in horse, and this surprises Natasha, because after weeks of trying to make you say a single word or a letter, you finally spoke, but she quickly gets out of her trace and nods happily.

Ok." With that, she helped you go out and sit in the rocking chair.

"Wh-what do you want to do?" Natasha asked carefully, looking at your side profile.

You didn't answer back; instead, you just looked at the dogs playing in the field—the three dogs you love, and one of them is the one you saved from the explosion.

"Ok, I'll just get us snacks and drinks." With that, Natasha left with a little smile on her face.

You've been improving for over 3 weeks; you've improved a lot more than the first time she saw you; you've been eating at least 2 times a day, even if it's just a few spoonfuls of food; you've been starting to acknowledge your surroundings, answering them with a nod or shook of your head; your pale skin is now gaining color; and now, you want to get up and go out to look outside, which is a kind of big step in your stage.

"Ok, here are the snacks," Natasha said, resting the snacks and drinks on the table. You look at her and nod.

Thanks," she smiled, nodding at you.

"You're welcome" and means that you start to eat the snacks little by little.

"Ca-can..." you whisper and grab a drink. Natasha waits until you take a sip of water.

"Can...you tell me a story?" She smiles and nods, happy that you're finding some comfort in her stories.

"Of course." With that, she starts another story of her life before they meet you and rescue you.

In some point you're loving the stories she's telling you, specially when she tell you the stories of her sister Yelena in the Red Room, you even request it to her to tell you stories with Yelena in Red Room, you don't know but knowing someone suffer the same pain and having a similar backstories/past is bringing you comfort, that your not the only one who go through it all

But for Natasha, she doesn't want to share it; she still struggles to open up about her past. It's hard for her, but seeing you wanting to know it and the feeling of getting it out without judgment feels too good, so she learns to open up to you and let herself be vulnerable.

Slowly, you're getting better, and sometimes you're smiling too. You're joining them at the dining table and listening to their jokes. You even join them on movie nights. Either your siblings will cuddle you or Natasha.

"Dinner's ready!" Laura shouts, smiling that her eldest daughter is starting to go back to them again.

Hey, dinner's ready; do you want to eat now or later?"Natasha asked, looking at your side profile while you looked up at the calm night sky with various stars and your eyes sparkling while watching.

"Let's go." You look at her and nod, so you two go to the dining table and see everybody already sitting there, waiting for you two.

"Sissy, look, it’s your favorite," Lila said with a smile and pointed to the dish, so you smiled at her.

"Yeah, it is, thanks mom," you smile at Laura, and she stops herself to shed a tear and nod at you.

"You're welcome, my sweetheart." With that, you all pray and start eating while joking around.

D-dad," you giggle for the first time, and all of them look at you with shock and a smile on their faces.

"Yo-you..." you smile and point to his chest.

"You have crust on your chest," you say, and he looks down and gasps dramatically.

"Oh, silly me, hahaha.......I'm such a clumsy person," he mocks one of those girls in the movie who acted in such a precious move, and this makes you giggle more.

"My wife's giggling." Natasha can't help but miss how enthusiastic you are around her, especially when you call her your wife. She misses it, and deep down in her, she likes it—no, she loves it; she just doesn't want to admit it.

But this causes your smile to drop, and you look down on your food and take a small bite. With this, they all look at you, and Natasha grows worried, already regretting what she said.

"I'm not your wife," you coldly reply, and Natasha's heart clenches, so she just nods and tries not to show how hurt she is.

Now she knows how it feels to be rejected, and now she knows that this feeling is always lingering on her every day, hour, or minute, and it hurts her like hell.

"Oh...so-sorry-" she said, getting cut off when you stood up to leave.

"Wait, where are you going, honey?" Clint asked, standing up and going around the table.

"Up to my room." You refuse the help of your father and go up to your room by yourself.

This makes Natasha shrink in her seat, look down on her food, and clench her hand that's holding the utensil.

I-I. I'm sorry, Clint.....I-I fucked up again," Natasha whispered, and she quickly stood up to leave before anyone in the family could say a word.

"Nat wait—" Clint got stopped by his wife.

"Let her be for now, Clint; she needs space." Clint looks at his wife, worried. They both know how guilty Natasha is of what she had done before, and Natasha thinks she deserves to be blamed even though the couple didn't blame her.

She just needs something to hold on to to blame, and that's what she chooses; that's her way to cope up and fight for you, and the thought that she fucked up again didn't sit well on her mind; it keeps messing with her head.

Now, you're sitting in your chair, looking out the window, while Natasha takes a ride on her big bike, going as far away from you as she can. She just can't stand to be near you right now, so while she's driving, she keeps wiping her tears until she's out of town and parks at the nearby gas station.

She looks at the empty street and the night sky. She sighs before going inside the store and buying a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and gum.

"Why do you have to be stupid and ruin the best things in your life, Natalia? she hissed to herself once she got out of the store.

going far enough in the gas station with her bike and lighting her cigarette, looking up at the night sky, who shine with the stars

"It is really beautiful," she whispers to herself, only appreciating the night sky now. At first, she doesn't get why people, or specifically you, love looking up at the night sky. Even in the compound, she always finds you at night on the rooftop, laying down with the blanket on the floor and looking up, or at the edge of the building, feet swinging back and forth while looking up.

Now she knows why the silence, the calmness, and the beauty of the night help you and calm you down in times like this and especially make you realize some things you are constantly denying and what you've done and make your mind clear.

After a few sticks of cigarette while looking at the night sky, she starts to feel a raindrop starting to fall down and a thunder sound can be heard in the place, so she quickly steps on the cigarette.

She hops on her bike to go back to Barton's house before the rain gets worse, or at least she wishes, but she's so wrong because she's just driving back for over 5 minutes when the heavy raindrops start to fall down, soaking her wet.

Once she got back, she was drenched from head to toe inside her boots, and it was cold as hell, so she quickly got inside, taking her boots and jacket off.

"Nat?" Natasha stops and looks forward to seeing Clint, Laura, and you sitting on the couch.

"So-sorry about the floor," She whispers, and Laura gives her a towel.

"That's ok, go and dry yourself." She nodded and went upstairs to take a quick warm shower and change into her pajamas. Once she got out of her room, Clint was waiting for her with a crossed arm. At this point, she understands if he wants her to go back to the compound tomorrow morning.

"Clint look," she started, but he cut her off.

"I trust you, Nat; I trust you with Y/N's life; I don't know what I'm going to do; I can't read her; and she refuses every help we offer her; she just wants to be on the couch." Clint looks up at her with pleading eyes.

"Please....try Nat," he said, Nat looking at him hesitantly.

"It's not your fault, Nat; trust me when I say It's not your fault." She shook her head, not believing him.

"You're her light in her dark mind; you're keeping her alive. She saw something in you that saved her. You saved her so many times in any way you could possibly save her." She looked into his eyes with teary eyes.

"I want my Y/N back, the jolly one. But you're the only one who can bring her back. Please, Nat '' Nat plays with her tongue on her right inner cheek while nodding.

"I'll try..." With that, she composes herself and goes down where you are, passing Laura on the way.

"Hey...Y/N/N?" she asked softly, like the first time you look over your shoulder for a second and go back looking at the movie playing in front of you with the lowest volume, so she sat beside you.

"Can you tell me your story again, the one with Yelena?" you asked, still looking at the TV.

"Yeah, ok." Natasha sighs and starts to tell you her story of how the Red Room is programmed and how she needs to fight for her and Yelena.

"What happened to Yelena?" Natasha can't find a word, not a single one; she just shuts her mouth. She doesn't know how to answer your question.

Even though she and her sister are reunited and in a good relationship, she just can't accept the fact that she escaped the Red Room without her, so she just leaves Yelena alone.

"I-she..." she said, looking down on her hand.

"Did you leave with her?" She could feel your gaze on her, so she closed her eyes and shook her head.

"No," Natasha looked up to you, but you shook your head, going back to watch the movie. Natasha thought it was her cue to leave you alone, so she stood up and turned around to leave.

"I am her," you said while still watching, and Natasha looked back at you with a frown.

"What?" She waited for you to talk again, now facing you.

"I am Yelena," you whisper, fidgeting your hand, so Natasha sat beside you again, looking closely at your side profile.

"I was left behind too..............by my older sister," Natasha gasped, biting her lips.

"She left me behind the four walls of the cell in Hydra...............she just used me to get her way out there." You look at Natasha for a second and go back to the movie. Natasha is shocked to learn this story.

No one on the team, even your parents, knows this; all they know is that you're the only one left alive from the Hydra experiments; they didn't know that you have a sister.

"Wh-what happened to her?" Natasha wants to hold you, but she doesn't know if you want that.

"I don't know, but one day when I'm in training, they just throw her dead body in front of me, telling me that I will end up the same as my sister if I try to escape." You stand up and go outside on the porch, so Natasha follows you behind.

"I don't know what I should feel.........I'm-......I'm not allowed to feel anything." You start to go down the stairs of the porch.

"Y/N, wait, no, you're going to get yourself soaked." Natasha tries to get you back to the porch, but you're already down on the grass, where your body is starting to get soaked.

"I didn't know that I was bottling it up..........I don't know what feelings or emotions are." Natasha doesn't have any choice, so she follows you.

"Until I meet you and the team..........you all show me what emotion is." You stop in the middle of the field, 30 feet away from your house, and the fact that you're starting to shiver makes Natasha notice it, so she grows worried.

Y/N, you're going to get sick; please let's get back." She stands beside you. You smile, looking up and letting the raindrop fall on your face.

"And I hate it............" You look at her with teary eyes and a smile.

"At first, because that's where I start to feel the grief, betrayal, guilt, sadness, loneliness, depression, and how much of a monster I am—" your tears start to roll down your eyes, but even if they're running down your checks with the raindrop, Natasha knew you're crying.

"Y/N" Natasha is going to hug you, but she stops when you talk again.

"But I am grateful and happy because... over my entire life, I finally know and feel what happiness is and what love means." That's when Natasha hugs you, rubbing your back.

"But it's too much......I don't want to feel it anymore. It hurts." You sob on her shoulder.

Natasha's own tears roll down her cheeks while she shushing you, holding you, and comforting you while you sob, letting go of every emotion you bottled up.

"Let it all out, baby. Let it all out. I'm here. I'm not going to leave. Just let it all out." Natasha whispers in your ear while you hold on to her shirt tightly like your life depends on it.

"I hate it." Your sob subsides a little, and you tuck your head on her neck, already tired, and keep whispering, 'I hate it.

"I know...shhh, I know. I know, love. I know," she whispers, running her hand over your hair.

"Help me," you whisper, looking up at her eyes, so when she meets your eyes, she smiles and nods, happy that you're opening yourself to her and letting her in.

"I will.....I will be by your side every step of the way. Ok, cause I love you so much. I'm not going to leave you, ok?" your lips starting to quiver while looking up at her eyes.

"You love me?" A spark in your eyes didn't go unnoticed by Natasha, and she smiled, nodding.

"Of course, I'm your wife, and I'm going to put a ring on those gorgeous fingers someday." Natasha kissed your forehead, and she saw Clint running in your direction with two towels and one umbrella.

"Now let's go inside; you're shivering. You're going to get cold." You again buried your face on her chest while shaking your head, making her chuckle.

"But I like the rain," and that's when Clint quickly put the umbrella under your heads.

"Oh my god.......I thought something happened to the both of you!" Clint exclaimed, putting the umbrella he's using between his shoulders and checking while wrapping the towel around the both of you.

Dad," and you hug him, so he hugs you back tightly; it's been a while since he's been able to hug you.

"Let's go home now, sweetheart." With that, Clint wrapped his arm around your shoulder and led you and Natasha back to the house.

—

Since then Natasha always with you, she still read you book, tell you stories and help you every ups and downs on your life, she even take you for a ride every now and then, going into different places where she knows you will love and she even give you flowers even if she just steal some on the garden of your parents or someone else

With the help of your now-lover and your family, the team is constantly visiting you, and you've healed from a big rough patch.

Hey, you leave me for a sec there? "You snapped out of your thoughts, looking at your girlfriend for over 6 months now, who's been lying beside you in your sahred bed, in your shared bedroom; it's actually Natasha's bedroom, but she insists that you should move in, so every time you're in the compound, your room is Natasha's.

"Sorry" you whisper with a shy smile.

"That's ok, my love." She smiled, then started to tickle you.

"It's a tickle monster," she said, and she started to tickle your stomach, which made you squeal and try to get out of her grip.

"St-stop Natty... please," you laugh out loud, pushing her hand away.

"What? I can't hear you!"You scream when her fingers start to tickle your most ticklish spot, which is your armpit.

"NAAATTYYYY!" You scream, and she suddenly stops looking down at you, and you pant heavily.

"You ok?" she asked, taking a deep breath to get some needed air.

"Yeah," you look up and giggle, then her dementor changes; she looks like she is thinking deeply while examining your face structure.

"Nat?" you whisper, putting your hand on her right check. She sighs and leans on your hand.

"You look like an angel, my darling, and I really love you so much," she whispered, kissing your palm and laying down beside you, pulling you in so now your back is facing her, cuddling, her being the big spoon and you're the small spoon.

"And I really love you too, my big bear," You whisper, hugging her arm that's wrapped around your waist.

[hard-core-super-star]

make you mine this season [K.Bishop]

pairing: kate bishop x barton!reader

summary: a badly timed snowstorm leaves you unable to make it to the barton farm for christmas. thankfully, a certain archer shows up to keep you company.

warnings: none, i think? just really cheesy, holiday rom-com type of fluff [i say this as if i've watched any holiday rom-com besides happiest season and the holiday 😶]; kate's a dork [wow, what a shock]; idiots in love; past mentions of bishova; bad jokes?; snowstorm; cheesy gifts bc kate can't talk about her feelings

wordcount: 1.5k

a/n: HI, EVERYONE, I'M ALIVE! and it wouldn't be a rubix fic if it WASN'T posted a little late 😅 i hope you all had a fantastic holiday season and that you'll accept this very cheesy Christmas fic <3 [and maybe that last line is very self-indulgent but that's none of your business, if you know you know]

* * * * * * *

You’re no stranger to loneliness but things were bordering on ridiculous. Not only have you spent the past two years ridiculously in love with a certain purple-loving archer, you’re also on the verge of spending Christmas by yourself thanks to the worst-timed snowstorm of all time.

And maybe the first part of your unfortunate situation is your fault but that doesn’t stop the waves of disappointment from crashing into you.

This year was supposed to be different. 

That’s what you had told yourself in an effort to convince yourself to tell the young archer about your feelings for her. It was a strategy that almost worked…until a certain blonde decided to accept Kate’s offer for drinks…which turned into a date…which turned into a second date…which turned into the longest four months of your life.

You could never be one to be mad at someone else’s happiness but that didn’t stop you from feeling absolutely defeated every time you saw them together. There was no one to blame except you for the brunette’s lack of knowledge about your feelings and that only made everything worse.

It was impossible to ignore the ache in your chest when your eyes met Kate’s or the heavy jealousy that clouded most of your interactions with her. Maybe if you had been less into your head about the whole thing, you would have realized the way the archer’s smile never seemed to reach her eyes. 

Eyes that followed you every time you walked away.

You never noticed the traces of darkness that clung to her usually radiant persona but you were the first person at her side when the break up happened. She offered little to no details besides an awkward joke about the relationship ending almost exactly where it started right at the Rockefeller tree.

It was messed up in a way that made Kate want to make as many jokes about it as possible which resulted in you laughing at things that definitely weren’t funny and were just sad. Not as sad as spending the holidays completely alone and hopelessly in love with your best friend, though.

You were sure the archer was already well on her way to your dad’s farm which leaves you completely unprepared when the door to your apartment swings open to reveal her. She almost drops the key in her hand the second she realizes you’re home.

“What’re you doing here?” You question, doing your best to pretend you don’t see the gift bags she tries to hide behind her back.

You can practically see the wheels turning in her head before she’s finally able to respond. “What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at Clint’s?”

It’s hard not to laugh at the incredulous look on her face. No matter how many times you see it, it’s still as endearing as the first time. Back when she was just your dad’s protege and you hadn’t spent so many of your days learning the ins and outs of her complicated personality.

“Did the incoming snowstorm happen to slip your mind?”

“No, I just thought you’d want to go anyway,” she replies with a small shrug. 

“I’d rather not crash, Lila will never let me hear the end of it.”

Your words make her tilt her head to the side, the slightest hint of a pout on her face. “So…what, you’re just going to spend Christmas alone?”

“Yup. Kate, I’m not a kid anymore, nothing will happen if I spend one day by myself.”

“But it’s Christmas!” She exclaims, looking borderline offended that you’re so comfortable spending the holiday alone. 

“Is that why you’re breaking into my apartment?” You ask in a foolish attempt to stop yourself from asking her to spend the day with you. 

Just because she thought about you long enough to come drop off her, no doubt ridiculously expensive, gifts for you does not mean she wants to spend the holiday with you when she could easily spend it with anyone else.

The pink hue that overtakes her cheeks is a better gift than anything that could be inside the bags in her hand. “Well, uh…maybe…”  

She finally gathers enough courage to get rid of the distance between you with a bright, albeit nervous, smile on her face. You half-expect her to launch into some long ramble about why she just couldn’t stop herself from buying an insane amount of gifts for you this year but she doesn’t. 

For once in her life, Kate Bishop makes things easy for herself.

“I didn’t think I was going to make it to the farm on time so I was just going to drop these off for you…” She holds out the bag for you and you do your best to calm the rapid beating of your heart as you take it.

“Can I open it right now or will you get embarrassed?” 

“Both,” she replies through a chuckle. “I would leave but I don’t want you to be lonely.”

“Right, because I’m the one who gets lonely.”

“Shut up.”

It’s both a blessing and a curse to have broken through the archer’s defenses and right now, her cute reactions are beginning to feel like a curse. Although, that might just be your unrequited feelings talking.

A slightly awkward silence settles over both of you while you rifle through the overwhelming amount of purple tissue paper until you find your gift. You’re expecting another expensive necklace, maybe a bracelet this time, but what you’re met with is the most thoughtful gift you’ve ever received…and probably the most thoughtful gift Kate has ever given.

What you end up pulling out of the bag is a leather journal with a beautiful engraving of yours and Kate’s initials. “Kate…is this-”

“Yeah, I, um…I couldn’t find a photo album that I liked so I sort of…made my own.”

You can’t stop yourself from flipping through the first couple of pages, caught somewhere between the euphoria of being given something so beautiful and the disappointment that comes with knowing it all only serves to fuel your love for the archer. 

Love you can’t express the way you want to.

Love that’s hidden between the pages of the journal you hold in your hands. 

You don’t notice and Kate isn’t really in a hurry to watch you read the series of rambles that make up her overdue confession so she lets the moment fade like she always has. It’s not like you can blame her for wanting to move on to something else, her lack of focus isn’t necessarily a secret, and you let yourself get carried away by her jokes and her stubborn need to make mac and cheese for you.

The archer manages to cook without setting your kitchen on fire and the two of you settle on your couch to watch the first cheesy Christmas movie you find. In all honesty…the movie is awful but the corny jokes make Kate laugh so you can’t find it in yourself to be too grumpy about the shitty writing.

Until the scene in front of you reminds you of the archer and her ex. You’re unable to hold back the jealousy-tinted snarkiness said reminder brings out of you. “I think Yelena watched this movie and then decided to be a dick just like the main character.”

Kate instantly turns toward you, staring at you with wide eyes that barely hide her amusement. “What?”

“What?” You feign confusion to avoid having to repeat yourself.

“You know what,” she replies with an eyeroll. “If I’m the one who got broken up with, why are you the one that’s still upset?”

“Because- wait, why are you not upset?”

Your uno-reverse of a response leaves Kate speechless for a few seconds and you prepare yourself for the series of jokes that will no doubt leave her mouth next. 

But Kate’s never been predictable.

“Because…she didn’t break my heart. She didn’t even own it in the first place.”

Her words spark the low flames of hope hidden in the depths of your heart. It feels impossible and if you were a believer, you might even say Santa’s on your side, helping to give you the one thing you’ve wished for more nights than you can count.

And yet you hesitate.

“What are you trying to say?” You ask, your voice so soft it borders on cautious.

“That I’m an idiot,” she replies with that same bright smile that made you fall for her so long ago. “And…I’d really like to kiss you.”

The world seems to slow down to a complete stop at that moment. 

You almost don’t even know what to do with yourself. Thankfully, you manage to kick yourself into action before the moment passes.

Kate’s awkwardness seems to disappear into thin air as she leans in toward you, meeting you halfway for the softest, sweetest, kiss you’ve ever had. And maybe nothing about it is perfect but it’s you and her and that’s all that matters for now.

[rxmqnova]

Hi!, how are you? So i saw that you have your request open can I request

Mama!Nat x daughter (around 3-4) in where on one of Natasha's missions she lost her memories and her memory stayed around when she left the red room so she doesn't know she has a daughter (duh), when she is told she can't believe it because she never though she would be able to have a child or they take her daughter to see her for when she wakes up and she finds out that she has a daughter that way. she feels insecure about being with her thinking she may hurt her So she avoids her. But reader insist to be with her mama angst with happy ending pls.

Hope you have a wonderful Christmas an new year🎉

Btw sorry for the bad grammar/English. it's no my first language

Lost memory

Y/N: 4 years old ——————————————————

NO ONE'S POV "Please, auntie Wanda, I want to see mommy" Y/N begs, hugging Wanda's legs tightly and looking up at her with the best puppy eyes she can do.

Y/N's been begging every single Avenger, one by one, to take her see her mommy. Natasha's last mission didn't go as planned and she got badly hurt. She even was in coma for the entire 3 weeks, but thankfully she's much better now.

Though there is one problem… Unfortunately, Natasha doesn't remember the last years of her life… more specifically, the last memory she has is from more than ten years ago when she escaped the Red room.

Y/N's been begging and crying everyday, wanting to see her mommy. She knows Natasha's here on the compound as she saw how Steve carried her mama to Bruce after the mission.

"Y/N/N" Wanda sighs, lifting Y/N up and sitting her on her hip. "Honey, I know you do, but your mommy needs to rest" She kisses the little girl's head, receiving a whine as Y/N buries her head into Wanda's neck.

"I want mommy" Y/N cries out into Wanda's neck, making Wanda sigh once again.

"I know, bubs, I know"

———

It took a few hours of begging, but Bruce and Doctor Cho agreed that they can't go on like this for much longer. Because the only one Natasha briefly remembers is Clint, he agreed that he'd be the one who tells the redhead about Y/N.

"How are you feeling?" Clint smiles at his best friend, sitting down on the bed.

"I'm fine, I don't know why I still have to be here" Natasha sighs, crossing her arms over chest. "Why are you here?"

"Can't I just come to see how's my friend doing?" Cling teases on which Natasha raises an eyebrow. "But yeah, I'm here to tell you something" He looks at the redhead, preparing himself to tell her about Y/N.

"Why are you looking at me like that? What is it? I feel like nothing can be worse than that I forgot the past 14 years of my life" Natasha sighs, waiting for Clint to speak.

"… We haven't really told you everything, Nat. There's something we left out, but we can't keep that from you anymore" Clint starts. "… You saved a little girl on a mission 3 years ago… She's spent here for about… 2 months and you decided to adopt her. She's 4 now and she's been begging us to take her to you. I know it's-"

"Wait. Wait. I adopted a child? Me?" Natasha asks shocked, not believing anything from what Clint has just said.

"Yeah, I-"

"Mama! Mama!" Y/N bursts into the room, Wanda running after her.

"I'm sorry, I turned around for 2 seconds and she was gone" Wanda explains with a sigh.

"Mama, I missed you!" The tiny girl says, attempting to climb the bed. "Mama" A whine escapes Y/N's lips after another failed attempt of climbing the bed as it's too high for her, holding her arms up for Natasha who's just staring at her shocked.

Wanda's quick to lift Y/N up, sitting her on her hip and holding her tightly as Y/N's trying to wiggle out of her arms and reaching her tiny arms for Natasha.

"N-no, no, I can't" Natasha panics, shaking her head.

"Calm down, Nat" Clint moves closer, trying to comfort his best friend. "Take her out, Wanda" He orders, Wanda nodding immediately.

"Want mommy! Mama!" Y/N cries loudly, kicking her legs and trying to wiggle out of Wanda's arms while the witch is carrying her out of the room again.

———

A few days have passed since Natasha found out about Y/N and she still doesn't know how to feel about that. And now when she's finally allowed to leave the bed and get back to normal life, it seems even scarier.

Y/N, on the other hand, has been crying nonstop through the days. She just wants her mommy and everyone's been keeping her away again.

"Mama!" Y/N grins once she sees Natasha step into the kitchen, immediately jumping off of the chair and running to the redhead, crashing her little body into Natasha's legs.

"Oh, hi" Natasha says akwardly, carefully peeling the little girl off of herself.

It's not like she wouldn't want a child, but she just doesn't know how to take care of one. After all, she's never taken care of a child before… well, she doesn't remember it… so it's understandable that she's scared of it.

"Mama, I drew you lots of pictures. I'm gonna show you" Y/N informs, already running away for her drawings which makes Natasha let out a sigh of relief and she quickly makes herself something for breakfast.

"Hey, hm. You're Wanda, right?" Natasha asks, sitting down opposite the brunette who smiles and nods in response, so Natasha takes a deep breath before speaking again. "Clint told me you were the one who mostly took care of Y/N. I just… I just wanted to ask you if you could maybe take care of her for a bit more? At least a few more days please?" She asks, hoping to get a yes from the witch.

"Oh, of course. Y/N's such a sweetheart. If you need any help with her, I'll be happy to help you" Wanda smiles warmly on which Natasha lets out a sigh of relief, though the tiny footsteps that are approaching stress her out immediately.

"Look, mama! I have so many pictures for you!" Y/N informs, crawling on Natasha's lap which only makes Natasha panic. She has no idea how to hold the little girl, scared that if she wrapped her arms around her, her hold could be too strong and she'd hurt her. "This is you and me playing soccer, mama!" Y/N grins, pointing at the two figures on her picture before looking up at Natasha who only hums in response and gives the tiny girl an akward smile. "And this is us building a snowman!"

Of course Wanda senses Natasha's discomfort and calls her little niece to come sit back to her and to finish her breakfast which she's been eating before Natasha came in. Natasha mouths a 'thank you', shooting Wanda a smile before quickly finishing her own breakfast, disappearing into the gym without Y/N noticing.

"Where did mommy go, auntie Wanda?" Y/N asks after a while, looking around to find her mother.

"She needs to rest a lot, honey. We should leave her alone for a little bit" Wanda says with a sigh, already knowing this won't satisfy the tiny one.

Y/N pouts, jumping off of her chair, taking her drawings and running away, ignoring Wanda who's calling after her. She hasn't seen her mommy for weeks, she just wants to be with her. Why nobody understands?

The little girl enters Natasha's bedroom only to find it empty. There are ony two more places on the compound Natasha could be, so Y/N decides to check.

After not finding her mother in her office, Y/N ends up in the gym, smiling when she sees Natasha there.

"Mommy, you forgot the pictures!" Y/N informs, running to Natasha with her arms up. "Up! Mama! Up! Please!" The tiny girl pleads, jumping up and down in front of the redhead.

"Y/N, I… just put those drawings on the bench over there. I'll take them later, yeah?" Natasha says, trying her best to not hurt the little one's feelings.

Y/N nods, running away to put her drawings on the bench like Natasha wanted and then running back to her mama.

"Mommy, up please" Y/N requests, pulling out her best puppy eyes in hope to get some cuddles from the redhead.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I can't" Natasha nearly whispers, hoping the little girl would just go away.

"But mama please. I want some cuddles" Y/N repeats again, tears filling her little eyes.

"Y/N, I said no. Please go away" Natasha sighs, slowly losing her patience as the little child is still standing in front of her with her arms up.

"Mama, please" Y/N pleads.

"What is so hard to understand? I said no. Go away" Natasha orders sternly, her voice raised a little bit which makes Y/N run away and cry loudly.

Natasha lets out a sigh after Y/N's cries die down, squeezing her eyes shut. She didn't want to make Y/N cry.

About an hour later Natasha leaves the gym, picking up the drawings from Y/N on the way. She throws them on her bed as soon as she enters her room, deciding to look at them after a shower. She really feels bad for making the tiny one cry.

Fresh out of the shower Natasha sits on her bed, taking all of the papers Y/N gave her and looking at all of them. She can't help the smile that forms on her face while looking at those drawings.

She spots a few more pictures hanging her closet, so she stands up and goes to look. She hasn't noticed them before as Clint only showed her where her room is this morning.

Now feeling even worse Natasha walks around the compound with hope to find the little girl somewhere. And after what feels like stepping into 100 different rooms Natasha finally finds the tiny girl in what seems to be her bedroom, laying on her bed and cuddling to her teddy bear while sobbing.

"Hi there" Natasha says quietly, sitting down on the bed on which Y/N just turns around and buries her head into her pillow. "Can we talk?" "Hm-hm" Y/N shakes her head.

"… Are you mad at me?" Natasha asks, gently placing her hand on Y/N's back and giving it a rub.

"Yes, because you're being mean and don't want to give me cuddles" Y/N mumbles out with a pout, finally looking at her mother with her puffy eyes.

"Y/N, I… I'm sorry, okay? I didn't want to be mean to you, but I just don't remember you" Natasha sighs, tears forming in Y/N's eyes again at the not very nice tone Natasha used. "No, please don't cry. I'm sorry"

"But I want you to give me lots of cuddles and be nice to me, because you're my mama" Y/N cries out, burying her head into her pillow again which makes Natasha think about whether should she leave or not. She's never been in a situation like this. What should she do?

"I'm sorry, please just stop crying" Deciding to stay, Natasha desperately tries to calm down the little girl somehow, but rubbing her back just doesn't seem to be enough.

Though Y/N's tears don't stop. She just wants more comfort from her mommy, so she crawls over to Natasha, sitting on her lap, wrapping her tiny arms around her and burying her face into her mother's chest.

"I… okay" Natasha carefully wraps her arms around the tiny girl which finally makes Y/N calm down and the redhead smile as Y/N's hug brings her this really nice feeling she doesn't remember feeling before.

"Mama?" Y/N questions, lifting her head to look at Natasha who hums in response, smiling a little bit. "Did you look at my pictures?" She continues, finally being in her mommy's arms making her forget everything that happened just a few minutes ago on which Natasha lets out a chuckle.

"I did, they're very pretty, sweetheart" Natasha tells the tiny one, receiving a huge smile from the little girl before she cuddles up to her, making Natasha smile.

It will surely take a while until Natasha learns how to take care of Y/N and it will surely be hard, but now the redhead knows she wants to try and be a mother to the tiny girl. And there was only one thing that made her realize… a hug from her little girl.

----------------------

I'm sorry it took so long. I hope you had wonderful Christmas and New year as well!! <33

Part 2

Series masterlist

Masterlist

[minimarvelh]

Clint, entering the living room and sitting next to Tony on the couch: very random question and unrelated to anything about me, but..have you ever just looked at someone and wanted to adopt them?

Tony, trying to make the most nonchalant face the world has ever seen, while trying to hide sleeping spider on his laps with a huge blanket: eh no? you’re weird.

[creative-caramel-coffee]

The Spiders Sister - Chapter 3

Summary: Reader meets the team.

Tw: mentions of sickness, teasing

Words: 2.8K

A/n: Thanks for all the support this series has been getting :) If anyone has any suggestions for things that could happen in this series lemme know and I’ll see what I think. No smut though I don’t write that here.

The next day you woke to knocking on the bedroom door. Sitting up in bed you quietly called for whoever it was to enter.

A moment later Wanda poked her head through the door. Seeing you awake or at least semi-awake she slipped through the small space she had created.

“Good morning.” She smiled coming to sit beside you on the bed. “Did you sleep well?” She asked pressed her hand to your forehead.

“Mmm.” You hummed still half asleep.

“You don’t feel warm anymore.” She smiled at this achievement as if she was proud of you. “How are you feeling today?” She asked moving her hands to rest in her lap again.

“Tired, but that’s probably because I just woke up.” You smiled.

“Nat sent me to wake you up. She wanted to know if your well enough to meet the others today.” Wanda explained looking slightly guilty.

“I mean, I’m game if you are. Where’s Nat?” You asked coving a yawn.

“Nat’s training with steve. And not so fast, I want to know more about how you're feeling. No more headache? Cough? Wheezing? Give me something.” She grinned.

“My headaches gone, no more cough, maybe a slight wheeze I’m not too sure.” You begun and Wanda’s brow furrowed slightly at the mention of your wheezing. “I’m like ninety-nine percent sure my fever is gone, and I feel pretty good all things aside.” You finished.

“That’s good. Maybe keep your inhaler on you today just in case. And after the meeting I’ll see if I can get Bruce to give us a few spares, just in case.” Wanda said softly.

“You really don’t have to.” You said shyly toying with a loose thread on the sheets.

“Its no problem. I would make me feel better. Breathing is important.” Wanda teased easing your concerns.

“So, when’s the meeting?” You asked.

“Well, I think Nat wanted to do it as soon as possible. Like straight after training and then I’m going to make you some pancakes for brunch.” Wanda said poking your side. “But for now, hop up, get dressed and I’ll be back soon to show you where the meeting room is.” Wanda said, standing up and heading for the door.

Once wanda had left, probably to go and find Nat to call the meeting, you crawled out of bed. Rifling through your backpack you changed out your sleepshirt and shorts for a pair of black track pants and a pale-yellow t-shirt. Throwing on some goofy socks and lacing up your black converse high tops you braided your hair sat in front of the mirror and threw on some deodorant.

Once you were ready and had been to the bathroom to wash your face and go through your morning routine, you sat at peters desk.

Picking up your backpack you went through it until finding what you were looking for.

Pulling out the black sketchbook you opened it to a fresh page and began mindlessly doodling things you could see around peters room and the cityscape beyond the open curtains.

Just as you were getting into the details of the New York skyline you heard a knock on the door.

Lowering your pencil, you sat a little straighter.

“Come in.” You called your voice sounding better than it had in days. And surprisingly good for someone who had spent hours coughing and wheezing for days on end.

Wanda opened the door and smiled seeing you up and about for the first time.

“You look much better.” She commented coming to stand by your shoulder. “Wow, you’re an amazing artist.” She smiled looking at your drawings.

“Oh, um … thanks.” You smiled still a little awkward when it came to compliments. “So, what’s the news?” You asked.

“Hmm? Oh, yes.” Wanda said looking up from where she had been inspecting your sketchbook. “Nat called Fury. He’s kinda the boss. He’s given the go ahead if steve and tony sign off on it. Nat then called a meeting and I’m going to bring you to the room where you're going to meet the team.” She explained.

“I have two questions.” You said.

“Shoot.” Wanda said pulling you up and gesturing to follow her out the door.

“One, is peter going to be at this meeting?” You asked as Wanda lead you down some seemingly endless corridors.

“Yes.” Wanda nodded, pressing the button to call the lift.

“And two, this Fury guy said yes? Just like that?” You asked sounding slightly confused.

“Yes and no.” Wanda begun, stepping onto the lift with you beside her. “Nat asked Jarvis, Tony’s AI assistant to pull up all CCTV footage of spider-man and separate footage based on bio-signatures. So, she could differentiate between when it was peter and when it was you in the suit. She sent Fury the files and after he reviewed them, he approved you a place on the team. If you want it and the others agree.” Wanda explained.

“Okay.” You said slowly. “Seems like a good plan.” You smiled.

And the lift dinged softly as it slowed to a stop.

“This is us.” Wanda said and you followed her out of the open doors. Walking beside her down a hallway she stopped in front of a door and paused to look at you. “You ready?” She asked, her hand on the door handle.

“Yep.” You nodded swollowing down your nerves. “Ready as I’ll even be.”

“You’ll be great. Just be yourself and they’ll love you.” Wanda said and pushed the door open.

Nat was stood at the head of the table, a screen behind her queued up with spider-man videos. She smiled at you and wanda as the rest of the people turned to face you.

Seeing the people you had only ever seen on Tv in real life was a little overwhelming at first but wanda squeezed your hand and lead you into the room to stand at the front with her and Nat.

Peter smiled at you from where he was sat beside Tony. Looking proud of you just for standing in front of the avengers.

You stood there silent for a second simply making eye contact with your shoes before Natasha spoke up.

“This is Y/n.” Nat begun, and you gave a small half wave with an awkward smile. Tony was staring you down with an unreadable expression. He looked like he was analysing your face mentally. Most likely already having connected you to Peter.

“Hi I’m Y/n Parker.” You said lifting your eyes to meet a few smiling faces around the room a fair few of them sporting shocked looks.

“Parker?” Tony echoed sounding smaller than you had ever heard from his times on Tv.

“Y/n Parker is Peters sister.” Wanda explained.

“Kid?” Tony looked hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me there were two of you?” He asked looking sad.

Peter looked slightly sick at the open disappointment his mentor was showing right now and so you stepped in before peter had a panic attack.

“Mr Stark, Sir, it was my decision to keep myself out of the spotlight. And to do that I needed to maintain a low profile. Which is harder to do when the avengers know of your existence. No offence.” You explained. And the team exchanged a few glances as they noted how you had come to Peter’s aid almost immediately.

“That’s alright, I’m sure Pete will open up now you’re here.” Tony said with a grin as he ruffled Peters hair, “Won’t-cha kiddo?” He asked with his usual charismatic charm and Peter gave a small nod and smile while he ducked his head not liking the attention.

“So, anyone have anymore questions?” You asked drawing the attention off of Peter once more much to your brothers' relief.

Looking away from the small smile he sent you as thanks you laughed, seeing every hand in the room up with a question for you, bar Nat, Peter and Wanda of course.

You looked to your left and nodded to Steve.

“Hi, nice to meet you kid.” Steve said. “I have a question though, if Peter’s identity is secret, why did you need to stay away from us?” He asked looking confused, and his statement drew a few nods around the room.

“If Tony scares you honey, I can assure you that the man would forget his own shoes without me.” Someone you recognised as Pepper Potts said with a smile causing Tony to grumble to himself. How Nat had managed to wrangle the CEO of Stark industries into this meeting you didn’t know.

Little did you know that all it took was ‘There’s something you should know, it has to do with Peter’ and she was on her way.

“Actually,” Wanda said drawing the gaze of the room to her, “This should explain it. Jarvis play the video.” She said and the lights dimmed as the Tv showed a compilation of some of your best moves in the spider-suit.

When the video ended the lights retuned to their normal brightness and everyone still looked confused.

“How exactly does a compilation of Peter doing tricks explain that?” Bruce asked.

“Um…” You said looking slightly nervous. “That was me.” You said in a small voice and the room was silent for a second.

“Sick moves kid. Peter your sister’s awesome.” Sam said and a few people laughed at his perfect comedic timing.

“Prove it.” Tony said and you paled slightly.

“Tony.” Pepper said placing her hand on his arm and shooting him a look.

“No, its ok pepper.” Nat said. “Jarvis?” Nat called to the ceiling. “Was that peter in the suit for those videos?” She asked.

“The height and weight as well as body stature and proportions do not match Master Parker.” Jarvis said.

“Ok,” Nat continued, “Who do those body descriptors match in this room?” She asked.

“The person in the suit does match the body of Miss Parker.” Jarvis said and Tony frowned.

“Do the sticky thing.” Bucky called drawing a few smiles. You rolled your eyes and put a hand up, splaying your fingers before jumping in the air and touching the ceiling where you stayed stuck.

“Crawl around.” Sam said and you glared at his heckling.

“No.” You said and you saw Peter doing his puppy eyes at you. “Fine.” You sighed.

Jumping up you did a flip and stuck your legs out, now standing on the ceiling upside down and making eye contact with Sam before looking to Bucky.

“Better?” You asked sarcastically.

“Much.” Sam grinned and you rolled your eyes again.

“Ok. Get down Y/n.” Nat said sounding part annoyed part amused at the display.

“Yes ma’am.” You said before detaching from the roof and doing a flip to landing back where you were before.

“Show off.” Peter murmured under his breath and you huffed a small laugh as his ears went red, not having expected you to hear him. Dumb super-hearing.

“Well, now we’re done with the party tricks. What are we thinking?” You asked brushing off invisible dirt from your clothes.

“Well…” Tony said. “I think its time you got your own suit.” He grinned and you smiled back. “What colours do you want kiddo?” He asked.

“Um… maybe something like purple, white and red?” You said and he nodded already sketching down ideas on a pad of paper pepper had brought with her from a meeting.

“You’re also getting an AI.” Tony added and you looked a peter who simply smiled proudly of you.

“Well, if that’s everything Y/n’s also gonna need a room.” Wanda said and Tony nodded.

“There’s a spare room on Natasha and Wanda’s floor if you want to move in with the girls. Do I need to send some movers to grab your things?” Tony asked and you looked at your shoes and shook your head.

“Not much to move.” You mumbled.

“Y/n’s apartment was taken out in the last battle. She’s been hiding out in Peter’s room for now. That’s how we met actually.” Natasha said shooting you a reassuring smile.

“Well, it sounds like I’m going to be funding yet another shopping trip.” Tony sighed and Wanda grinned at you mischievously.

“We’ll make it a girl's day.” Wanda said shooting a look at pepper.

“I’d love to.” Pepper agreed and Nat clapped her hands together.

“Alright then.” The assassin said. “I should probably tell Fury we have another spider on the team.” Nat grinned and you smiled at her.

“Great, now we have three spiders.” Tony said rolling his eyes and ducking as Pepper aimed a pretty good swing to the back of his head.

“Knock it off Tony, don’t act like you're not secretly overjoyed to have another Parker around.” Pepper said.

“Just wondering,” Bruce said looking mildly nervous as the room turned to look at him.

“Yes?” You prompted him to continue.

“Are you…” He begun before pausing, “I guess theres no real nice way to put it.” Bruce said and Tony jumped in.

“I think Brucie-bear wants to know if you come with the Parker Brain Package.” Tony said and Pepper glared at him.

“Tony.” She warned, glaring at him while you cleared your throat.

“If you’re asking about how smart I am, let’s just say I designed the original prototype for the web-shooters and chemical makeup of the fluid.” You said and Tony nodded seemingly satisfied with that small tidbit of information for now.

“Well, if nobody had anything else to say, Wanda and I are going to take Y/n for a tour of the compound.” Nat said before turning to look at Clint. “And you, have to make dinner. You lost our bet.” Nat said and then dragged you and Wanda out of the room by your sleeves.

After a very long and very comprehensive tour by Natasha and Wanda, you were shown back to the communal kitchen where most of the team ate together when they weren’t on missions.

You walked into the dining room attached to the kitchen to be hit with the smell of burnt food pungent in the air.

You looked at Nat confused, and she grinned as she heard cursing coming from the kitchen. Wanda looked like she was itching to go help but sad she pulled away Nat grabbed her sleeve at the very last second to hold her back.

“Can someone explain whats going on for me?” You asked.

“Well, Clint and Natasha can’t cook if their lives depended on it.” Wanda begun, only to shush Nat when she went to speak up. “So naturally they made a bet, loser had to cook the team dinner, naturally Clint lost so Nat is enjoying his public humiliation. And I normally cook if we aren’t getting takeout so it's causing me pain to hear whats going on in there.”

“Oh, calm down. Clints not blowing anything up.” Nat said rolling her eyes as Wanda shot her a look. “Ok that was one time.” Nat amended.

Not twenty minutes later you were sat at a table with the avengers with a plate of very burnt stake and watery mash potatoes.

“What is it?” Tony asked poking his steak.

Clint grinned. “A masterpiece.” He said.

“More like a mistake.” Nat muttered judging her steak while poking it with her knife as if she was expecting it to start moving of its own accord.

“I say we have newbie try it.” Tony posed and you rolled your eyes.

Cutting off a piece of the very tough steak with your knife you raised it to your lips and put it in your mouth.

It was tough and kind of disgusting. But you smiled anyway.

Finding the meat tougher than you had been expecting, you made the switch as you called you fangs up. Your canines sharpened as you chewed managing to decimate the meat. Swallowing you looked at Clint.

“Not the worst thing I’ve every eaten.” You said with a smirk and Tony who had been watching you closely squeaked.

“Jeez kid you didn’t tell me your sister was a vampire.” Tony said turning to Peter.

By this point most of they eyes were on you, so you hid your teeth and retracted the fangs out of embarrassment.

“She’s not. It’s a spider thing she got.” Peter said coming yo your defence.

“Either way her new name is fangs.” Tony said with a grin.

This time you glared at him.

“For the record i think they’re awesome.” Wanda said sensing your embarrassment.

“Seconded.” Nat said her spy training honing in on your body language to see you were insecure about it.

“I gotta admit it’s a cool trick doll.” Bucky said.

“Pretty neat.” Steve agreed with a smile.

“Badass.” Sam nodded flicking a still frozen pea at Bucky. “Alright, now that y/n probably has food poisoning, who wants pizza?” Nat asked with a grin. Cheers came from all sides of the table as Clint slumped dejectedly in his seat.

PART 4

[its-really-dry]

y/n: nah bc i have a genuine question

natasha: what is it detka?

y/n: why is manslaughter illegal?

natasha: ..... excuse me?

y/n: like, why can't men laugh?

steve: im sorry to intrude, but did you just pronounce manslaughter as mans-laughter?

y/n: making manslaughter illegal is taking away mens rights which is v sexist

natasha: babe *sigh* that's not how it wor-

y/n: well this is a safe space. manslaughter is heavily encouraged here

yelena: *smirks* glad to hear that *runs to clints room*

natasha: YELENA NO *runs after her*

y/n: yeah lena, womanslaughter is already legal!

[olsenmyolsen]

Ups and Downs The Final Part

master list

dark master list

Slight MCU AU (Female Reader X Natasha Romanoff)

Be sure to read part one! . And Part Two!

Summary: You finally take Natasha on a date!

Word Count: 4.6K

TW: None, Pure Fluff with some mentions of Yelena. <3

You stood in front of Natasha's door with a bouquet of roses in your hands.

It was officially the first Friday since being discharged from the Avengers medical wing, and you wanted to be Natasha's woman in shining armor.

Even though she literally saved your life after being shot when mercenaries busted their way into her safe house apartment, so there was no way you'd ever outshine The Black Widow- ya know what, that doesn't matter!

Here you stood in front of Natasha's door! At Avengers Campus! Feet firmly planted! Flowy red sundress flowing! A fist raised to the door, and just as it was about to make contact, it flung open.

Your right hand flew through the open air before falling by your side. "Huh?" Your eyes went from your hand to the woman who opened the door.

Natasha smirked with painted red lips as her green eyes looked you up and down. The bruising was no longer visible on your exposed skin, but that's not why Natasha was looking at the way your sundress stopped just 4 inches above the knee.

You watched the way her green eyes lifted to you. Making eye contact before they lowered back down. "Are these for me?" Natasha stepped forward and grabbed the bouquet of flowers from your hand. The contact your fingertips made was electric for you both.

Your brain immediately flat-lined.

"I-uh- yeah!" You let Natasha take the bouquet as she smiled at how you fumbled with your words. "I figured we've already lived through a couple of cliches, so what's one more?!" You moved back and forth on your feet as Natasha examined the flowers. "I hope you like them." Natasha looked at you. "Captain- Steve- uh, mentioned how you like Roses." Natasha looked down at her hands, and a quizzical look turned into a smile that broke into laughter.

You smiled and laughed, too, but you weren't sure why. But if Natasha was smiling because of something you did, you'd count that as a win.

"These are Carnations." Natasha finally said.

"What is that now?" You asked as you took a step forward into Natasha's space. Tip-toeing around the flirty line, you two have been playing since waking up here.

"These aren't Roses. They're Carnations. They look very similar." You took a closer look, but flowers looked like flowers, so you just nodded and took the Up (Going on a date with Natasha) with the Down (Getting her the wrong type of flowers).

"Don't worry," Natasha said as she bumped your shoulder and smiled. "I love them." You smiled and rolled your eyes. "Who said I was worried, Natasha?" The redhead threw an eyebrow and looked at you as she closed her bedroom door. "Hmm." She hummed. "Tell that to the corners of your mouth." Natasha then mocked you as she made a pouty face before laughing as you tried to look away. But you wore a big smile.

"Come on," Natasha said with glee as her hand wrapped around yours. Not letting go until the two of you reached the kitchen.

"I'll put these in a vase, and then we'll go." You nodded to her words and watched the way Natasha filled out her black jeans as she walked away with an extra oomph on her step.

This date was something the two of you wanted, and Natasha couldn't wait.

She was going to tease you all night.

"Take a picture. It'll last longer." You jumped to the sound of a man in your ear. Turning to your left to see Clint Barton smiling from catching you in the act. You swung your arm down and made contact with his. "Don't you have anything better to do?" You yelled at the older man in a hushed tone.

He shrugged.

"Not a lot at the moment. So where are you taking her?" Clint held his fork up to his mouth and blew on his noodles to cool them down.

"That information is for Natasha only." You whispered to Clint as if Natasha couldn't hear you.

But she could. If there's one thing Natasha has learned about you since moving in. You think you know how to whisper, and you definitely don't realize how loud your footsteps are. Twice now, Natasha has woken up to the sounds of you getting a late-night snack.

To your knowledge, it had been one time that Natasha woke up. That was when she joined you in your room to watch re-runs of The Nanny.

You fell asleep with your head on her shoulder.

Natasha turned red when it happened. Because she officially knew what she had been thinking this whole time.

She was falling for you.

"Boring," Clint said as he put a fork full of noodles in his mouth and walked away. The conversation no longer fun to him.

Natasha held in a smile and presented you with the vase full of carnations.

"What do you think?"

You smiled and kept your eyes on Natasha. "I think you look beautiful." Natasha rolled her eyes, which made you laugh. "Come on. I told you that if we started dating, it would only get worse." Natasha nodded and placed the vase in the middle of the table. "Well, don't run before you can walk." Natasha sent you a wink as she stuck out her hand. "And is it dating if it's only the one so far?" You smiled and took hers in yours. "Years from now, you'll laugh about this, Natasha." You said with smug written all over your face.

Your cheesiness makes Natasha think back to the apartment weeks ago.

"So, which car is Stark letting you borrow?"

"Oh, I was supposed to ask?" You said as you and the redhead entered the garage. Natasha turned her head and couldn't tell if you were joking until your lips cracked. "Any of them, he said."

"Generous." She lifted her eyebrows as you two walked past rows of luxury cars.

"Yeah..." You said as Natasha started walking towards the motorcycles. One in particular. "I feel like Tin Man was threatened by a hot spy."

Natasha stopped in front of a black Harley Davidson with a red leather seat and orange accents and details. "Hot spy, huh?" You nodded. "Red hair. You wouldn't know her." Natasha playfully rolled her eyes and turned back to the bike. "What do you think?" She asked as you took a step forward. "I didn't think Tony drove this."

Natasha lifted the pillion seat and pulled out a set of keys. Tossing them to you. "He doesn't." You caught the keys and looked back to Natasha as she leaned against the bike with a tight-lipped smile as her tongue rolled over her teeth.

Fuck, you were starting to get hungry, and it wasn't food calling your name.

"Wanna try it?" She asked as she grabbed a red helmet from behind her, waiting for your answer. "Nat, you can't be serious!" Natasha pulled her body away from the bike and walked towards you before she placed the helmet in your hands. "I mean, you can always say no," Natasha said as she looked at you with a confident smile and glimmer in her eyes.

She had you.

You looked from the helmet back to Natasha. "Promise to help?"

Natasha placed her hands on your hips and leaned closer. You inhaled sharply from her touch. Her perfume worked its way through your nose, making you smile. "I'll make sure we don't crash." Natasha kissed your cheek and left you blushing as she picked up the helmet and placed it on your head. "Ready?" You nodded as Natasha pushed the helmet down onto your face. Only your eyes are the thing Natasha sees.

She grabbed your hand and led you to the bike. Natasha watched how you wrapped your legs around the seat. "I'm starting to think maybe a dress wasn't the best idea." You said as your voice was muffled by the helmet.

Natasha smirked and looked at the way your dress rode up. Revealing more thigh from you. Your soft skin against the leather seat was doing wonders for Natasha. "Trust me." Natasha started as she grabbed a helmet from the bike beside her and put it on. "You'll be fine. I'll keep you warm."

You understood the double entendre and couldn't help but blush once again. Natasha wasn't holding back tonight, and for someone who was usually spouting flirty attempts, it left you worried that your cheeks would always be stuck in a giggly smile.

Natasha sat on the seat and let her black jeans brush against your legs. "Put the key here." Her hands worked down your arms and rested on top of your own hands. You nodded and placed the tiny key in the ignition. "Hit this button to turn it on." Natasha pointed to a red button in the center of the handlebars. "Once you do that. This is the accelerator. This is the brake." Natasha showed you how to use each one while her hands never left your body.

"Okay." You sighed as the idea of driving this without thinking about the vibrations and Natasha gripping your body was going to make you crazy.

"Ready?" Natasha asked as her hand was above the red button. "I.. I think so." You said. "Y/N." You turned your head back. "Don't worry. I'll be here." You could see the way Natasha's cheeks lifted below her green eyes. She was smiling to you and giving you reassurance.

You nodded.

"I'm ready." Natasha hit the red button and laid her hands on yours. "Good girl." You heard her yell as she traced a birthmark on your middle finger.

You bit your lip. "Okay." You thought to yourself. "If teasing is what she wants." You could do this.

You kicked the leg stand up, and turned the accelerator, forcing Natasha to grip her body around yours at the sudden acceleration. "Good girl!" You yelled back, making Natasha scoff with surprise as you picked up the speed right before the two of you left the garage and hit the main road.

You felt free with Natasha Romanoff as the noise of the bike engine roared while her hands moved up from yours to around your waist. She was gripping you tighter.

Natasha was in awe of your quick ability to handle the bike due to every clumsy spill of water or untied shoelace you've had since meeting her.

But you surprised her.

Natasha even caught the wink you sent her from the side mirror as you turned the bike onto the exit for the city.

She had no idea where you were taking her, but she couldn't wait to find out. _

The lights of New York City passed over your helmets as you turned the bike down a one-way street and pulled into a side alley. The bike rolled to a stop just before you kicked the leg stand out and turn off the bike.

Natasha kept her arms around you as the volume of the city worked its way into your ears. You smiled at the contact and weren't surprised when the hands moved south to the end of your dress.

You turned and clinked your helmet into Natasha's, making her shoot her eyes your way. She watched you raise an eyebrow. But Natasha ignored your gaze and let her red-painted nails scratch your bare skin before pulling away.

"Did you enjoy it?" She husked as the two of you lifted your helmets. You rested your helmet on the left handlebar and checked your hair before turning back to face the redhead. "Every single bump in the road." You smirked.

Natasha looked you up and down. "I bet." She hummed and got off the bike first before helping you. "Your touch wasn't so bad either." You said as you handed Natasha the keys. "My touch, huh?" She asked. You nodded and walked behind her. Wrapping your arms around her waist. "Your touch." You rested your forehead against her shoulder before pulling away. Pink hue on you both.

Natasha loved this.

She smiled and placed her helmet on the right handlebar before stepping back next to you. "So, where did you take me?"

You pointed around the corner and briefly held Natasha's hand as you approached the entrance. "Sushi?" Natasha questioned at the Japanese signs in the window. "But you don't like sushi," Natasha said as you opened the door. "But you do." Natasha, while flattered, shook her head. "Y/N I-"

"Nat."

"What are you going to eat?!" Natasha questioned as you let go of the door and walked closer to the woman on the sidewalk.

"I'll eat whatever you get. Or I'll order something I can get down. Tonight is my date night for you. Okay?" Natasha looked from the door to you. "Are you sure?" You nodded. "Plus the thought of you speaking Japanese, oh man!" You made your eyebrows jump while Natasha gave you a pity laugh. "But seriously, don't worry. There's more planned for tonight."

Natasha nodded. She believed you. "Okay." You smiled and quickly opened the door for Natasha. "Thank you."

"Of course." You said as your eyes fell to Natasha's jeans. "Eyes up, Y/N." She said with a smirk before sitting herself at the open sushi bar. You following.

"Tsu onegaishimasu," Natasha said to the man who nodded behind the bar as he placed two small ceramic cups for sake. He smiled at you before looking and speaking to Natasha. Natasha laughed and turned to you. "He said my Japanese is excellent." You smiled and looked at the menu before you. "Hot, too." You mumbled with a smile before feeling a soft slap on your knee. "Detka, please." Natasha quietly said.

You closed your legs.

"Russian, too?!" You quietly shouted.

Natasha scanned up your body before smirking and biting her bottom lip. "Da."

Maybe you needed another ride on the bike.

Your menu was taken from you minutes later when Natasha went ahead and ordered enough for the two of you. She made sure to mix enough new things with some things you could keep down.

"So..." You looked to Natasha as she set her drink down. "Next dates gotta be at a Russian restaurant, right?" You smirked and waited for Natasha to answer.

She shook her head with a laugh.

"This one's not even over, and you think you're gonna get a second one?" You nodded with glee. "I know I will." Natasha enjoyed your overconfidence. It was natural as opposed to off-putting.

She had enough of that, thanks to your boss, Tony Stank.

"Besides, we already live together." Natasha moved her head from side to side as she squinted. "Debatable."

"Well, our address is the same. Is it not?" You had the redhead there. Natasha closed her mouth and playfully glared at you. "Not holding back tonight, huh?" You shook your head. "We can start the cliché 20 questions if you're ready?" You said with a laugh that lit up the room in the eyes of The Black Widow.

"Okay," Natasha said as she turned more towards you as rolls of sushi started to be placed between the two of you. "For each question we answer— honestly— we eat a roll. Given by the other person."

Natasha caught how you added the H word.

She swallowed and nodded.

It was known to the both of you that Natasha knew a whole hell of a lot more about you than you did about her.  So this was your way of getting to know the woman you wanted to spend more and more time with.

Natasha picked up a pair of chopsticks. "I'm ready." You did the same. "Me too." You smiled and looked at the rows of sushi. "Just don't make me eat a gross one." Natasha playfully rolled her eyes once again. "Trust me. Whatever I put in your mouth will be good for you."

Your mouth fell open as you drop your chopsticks to the ground.

Two minutes later, with a red face and new chopsticks, the game of questions started. _

"Oh, come on, don't be a baby."

"Natasha, you said it was deadly!"

"I said it's deadly if it's not prepared right!"

You closed your mouth and dodged Natasha's pufferfish sushi before she reached over and grabbed your nose closed. Your eyes went wide and searched the spy's green ones for any sign of giving up. But you saw the same look she had when you were bleeding out. Determination.

"Take it!" Natasha said as the sushi flew into your mouth before she placed her hands over your lips. You wanted to make the first dirty joke that came to your mind, but you were too busy trying to get the pufferfish into your stomach.

"Done?" Natasha asked as she lifted her hand after a minute of chewing.

You swallowed. "It wasn't that bad." You said before reaching for your glass of water.

Natasha shook her head before breaking into a laugh. "You're unbelievable." You perked up and winked. "So I'm told." Natasha looked over your face before lifting her hand up and gently wiped away the smudge lipstick from the corner of your mouth. You sat still and let her fingers linger under your chin before she drug them up and away.

How she looked tonight was etched into your brain.

"I meant what I said before. You're beautiful." You said before Natasha's eyes left your face. She stopped. Her body softened. You saw her eyes look from your eyes to lips and back.

Natasha cleared her throat.

"Thank you, Y/N." Natasha closed her mouth and opened it, but nothing came out. You just smiled and loved the way she looked at you before picking up a California roll. "Okay, my tu-"

"I really like you." Natasha cut you off.

You moved your gaze from the roll to her eyes staring at you. Natasha nervously smiled at you before surprising you by leaning forward, grabbing your chin, and kissing your lips.

She was gentle and tasted like cherries. Well, and sushi, but her red lips were sweet nonetheless.

Like she was.

She was a hot, dangerous spy who spoke a multitude of languages but, at the same time, was profoundly caring for her friends and had a glow deep within her that was good.

Natasha thinks that pain makes her stronger.

But you knew that was naturally Natasha—a strong, gorgeous person inside and out.

Her lips left yours as air came back into the two of you. "I-I like- I really like you too." You fumbled over your words before giving her a quick peck while holding onto the California roll between your chopsticks.

Natasha nodded as she sat back down. "Okay. Good." She said before laughing to herself. Her nerves were calming back down.

You just thought she was being cute.

"We like each other." You said as you laughed, too. "That's good, or else this date wasn't going anywhere." Natasha threw her head back. "Well, I'm glad it's going somewhere," Natasha said.

"Me too." You said as you raised the California roll to Natasha's mouth. She opened up and took it with joy.

You placed the chopsticks down.

"I guess it's my turn for a question, but I feel like it's inappropriate now." You said as Natasha picked up a roll for you. "Inappropriate, huh?" Natasha smirked, making you roll your eyes. "Not like that." Natasha played along. "Okay, sure, Y/N."

You smiled back and opened and closed your mouth before finally placing your arms on the bar top. "You don't have to tell me, but... Who's Yelena?"

Natasha wasn't expecting that question. Her mouth slowly fell as she lowered the roll back onto the plate. Her eyes hardened while a look of guilt flew across her face. "How do you know that name?" Her voice had an edge to it, and it instantly reminded you when she held you down on the floor in Budapest... Budapesht?

Boy, the two of you have been through a lot in such a short time.

You made sure to lock eyes with Natasha. "You said it in your sleep a couple of nights ago." You answered honestly. "It was the night you came and watched The Nanny with me. I woke up around 4 am to see you still there. I'm not going to lie it was sweet, but it looked like you were having a pretty intense dream. You kept murmuring in your sleep about someone named Yelena."

Natasha swallowed and sighed as she turned her body more to you. Her clothed knees brushing against yours. "Yelena is my sister." You pulled your head back in shock. "Oh!"

You wanted to say. "I didn't know you had a sister." But you'd just be stating the obvious. "Did I say anything else?" Natasha cautiously asked. You shook your head. "No. Just her name." You smiled in an effort to try to make Natasha feel better, and it worked a little, but now Natasha felt the need to tell you about Ohio.

But before she could, you said something that would stick.

"I'm sure you'll see her soon." Natasha paused at your words. "You think?" Natasha asked, earning a nod. "If she's anything like her sister, she's out there, and she's strong and caring too. You, too, will find each other again." You sent a big smile to Natasha.

She returned it with watery eyes before blinking them away.

"I'm just happy it's your sister and not an ex. I was about to go hot spy mode." Natasha laughed while she picked up a napkin. "I would've loved to have seen that." You shrugged. "There's still time, Miss. I speak over ten languages."

Natasha picked up a roll and brought it towards you. "You just want me to speak in another language again." You opened your mouth, allowing Natasha to feed you.

"Of course!" You said in a duh-like manner with a mouth full of sushi.

Natasha signaled for the check for you as you swallowed. She turned back to you. "Okay, Y/N." She gave you her full attention, making you close those legs tighter.

"Dove andremo dopo?" (Where are we going next?") _

You parked the bike in front of the cafe Tony helped you rent out for the night.

Once again, Natasha helped you off the bike before the two of you placed your helmets on the handlebars.

"A cafe?" Natasha asked as she took your hand in hers. "Not just any cafe, Nat." You smiled as you walked ahead and grabbed the door for her. Natasha let go of your hand as you two entered the building. Stopping in front of another set of doors that were locked. To the left was a sign in the area where a woman was sitting.

"A cat cafe!" You exclaimed as you turned to the woman waiting. "I take it this is the Y/N Romanoff party?" The woman with the name tag Ana asked. You nodded with glee while Natasha's brain was playing catch up.

How did she figure out my love of cats? Wait, did she say Romanoff party? Y/N Romanoff??

These questions and more swirled around before you turned around and made eye contact with Natasha.

"I may or may not have heard from a man with an eye patch that you have a fondness for cats. Specifically black ones."

When the hell did she meet Fury?

Was the next question Natasha kept inside.

"Y/N, this is so sweet! Thank you!" Natasha smiled as the two of you lathered your hands with hand sanitizer. Gotta be safe and careful with the kitties.

Ana opened the second double doors and waved you and your date inside. "Well, come in, Romanoffs. We have some cuties waiting to meet you."

You blushed at the name, and hoped Natasha wouldn't point it out. But you already knew her well. She bumped your shoulder while Ana left the two of you with menus and a binder full of the cats' names, likes, and dislikes.

"Y/N Romanoff, huh?" Natasha said as she flipped through the binder. Not really looking but giving you the impression as her eyes did not turn to meet yours. "Cool it." Natasha nodded.

You turned away from Natasha as Ana let the cats into the giant space. "Not a bad last name, though." You smirked and saw Natasha look at you with a soft gaze from your peripheral vision before she, too, looked at the cats flooding the room.

Immediately, a tabby cat ran up to your table and jumped closer to you. You laughed as you remembered briefly having a cat before it turned out to be your neighbor's.

Oof.

You peeked at the name of the tabby. "Majima." You whispered. "He's cute," Natasha said but without much more interest as she looked around at the multiple black cats. Some had white paws. Some had spots. But they were all precious to her, and she wanted to scoop them up and kiss their little heads.

Which she did to a few cats named Kiryu, Geoff, and Mr. Soupwater.

But then a pure black cat walked by Natasha, and it was all over. You practically watched Nat throw herself to the ground in order to get closer. Leaving her cinnamon lavender latte behind.

You watched the cat with hazel eyes stop in its tracks before taking slow steps to the woman who made your stomach flutter with a certain feeling.

You could see the heart eyes Natasha had when she turned to with a wide smile. "Y/N look!"

"I see!" You returned the joy and gently rose from your chair and sat behind Natasha as the cat looked from you back to Natasha before running into her arms.

"He loves you!" You said just as Ana was coming around to check on the kitties.

"She never does this," Ana said. A melting Natasha looked up. "Really!?"

"Maybe she was waiting for you." Ana left it at that. You reached for the collar. "Liho." You said. The cat purred into Natasha's chest.

Slowly, Natasha turned her head. "She's perfect."

You nodded.

Yes, she was.

Safe to say, the rest of your date turned into you being a third wheel as Natasha spent more and more time with Liho. But you couldn't be mad or even remotely upset as you watched the redhead transform before you. All night, you had seen the honest Natasha, and she was breathtaking. So was the spy. But something about seeing someone you watched kill people weeks ago roll around on the floor with a black cat was perfect.

You don't know how you didn't slip up and say the L(ove) word.

I mean, of course, it would've been too soon. But you were you, and it wouldn't have been a shocker to anyone.

Regardless. That night led to you driving very slow on the way back home as Natasha held Liho in her carrier as if her world depended on it.

And yes, Tony made the same joke you're thinking.

Two lesbians who are already living together go on a date and end up adopting a cat.

But three years later, you wouldn't have it any other way.

Except for maybe when Natasha comes home to your shared apartment, she greets you first instead of Liho.

Ups and Downs.

dividers by @/benkeibear

[tremorsmackenzie]

There is an unexplored time period in shield where maria, bobbi, may, natasha, isabel hartley, sharon carter, clint and coulson all worked simultaneously at shield and its a crime that we havent seen anything set in it. that literally sounds like the best thing ever.

like, may has nat in her contacts (season 2 i think). come on.

just imagine the snark.

[samantha-rae-velcher]

Master List Pt. 2

YouTubers

Swaggersouls

Streamers Dream - smut

Markiplier

Games of the many - smut

Joysticks and pushing buttons - smut

Sticks and stones - smut

That one look - smut

The punishment unforgotten - Violence/smut

A need for it and her - smut

The stress is real - fluff

"Im sorry, honey" - fluff

Roomies or More? (Egos) - smut

Yancy NSFW alphabet - smut

Love mistaken for hate (Wilford Warfstache) - fluff

Don't fear the reaper (Darkiplier) - smut

Dark lust (Darkiplier) - smut

Static (Darkiplier) - smut

Warp core breech Pt.1 (ISWM) - fluff

Warp core breech Pt.2 (ISWM) - fluff

Seeing Stars (ISWM) - fluff

Jacksepticeye

Blue tint and cold tiles - smut

Marvel

Me and the Devil walking side by side (Daredevil) - fluff

Sorcerer Supreme (Doctor Strange) - smut

More like Einstein (Tony Stark) - smut

Two tons of iron (Tony Stark) - smut

Green-ish (Bruce Banner) - smut

Tender Touch (Scott Lang) - smut

The speed of light (Pietro Maximoff) - fluff

Courts of Green Pt.1 (Bucky Barnes) - fluff

Courts of Green Pt.2 (Bucky Barnes) - fluff

Courts of Green Pt.3 (Bucky Barnes) - Violence/ fluff

Feathers and Swords (Clint Barton) - smut

Hawks gold (Clint Barton) - fluff

As beautiful as an angel (Yondu Udonta) - fluff

Fear makes love (Ronan the accuser) - smut

Sharp as steel (Wolverine) - smut

Blades that steel the heart (Wolverine) - fluff

Obviously not that obvious (Drax the Destroyer) - smut

DC

Tattoo Buddies (Chato Santana) - fluff

Soldier Boy (Rick Flag) - smut

Slice and dice (Captain boomerang) - smut

Scars and stripes (BOP Victor Zsasz) - smut

TWD

Guns of blazing love (Aaron) - smut

Maybe evil Maybe not But just about (Shane) - smut

Barbed Wire Pt.1 (Negan) - smut

Barbed Wire Pt.2 (Negan) - Smut

Barbed Wire Pt.3 (Negan) - Violence/fluff

Barbed Wire Pt.4 (Negan) - Violence/fluff

Barbed Wire Pt.5 (Negan) - smut

Barbed Wire Pt.6 (Negan) - Violence/fluff

Barbed Wire Pt.7 (Negan) - Violence/fluff

Barbed Wire Pt.8 (Negan) - fluff

Star Wars

The light within (Qui Gon Jinn) - fluff

The force of two (Qui Gon Jinn) - fluff

The force binds all (Obi Wan Kenobi) - smut

The intimidating side of things (Boba Fett) - smut

Orders (Poe Dameron) - angst/ fluff

Black ink (Darth Maul) - smut

The Witcher

How The Witcher men react when you cry - fluff

Bard and Bells (Jaskier) - fluff

Gotham

Gotham Villains teaching s/o to shoot a gun

Gotham Villains when s/o doesn't answer the phone

How Gotham Villains react to their s/o getting shot

Sexting with Oswald Cobblepot - smut

Gotham's King and Queen (Oswald Cobblepot) - angst

I will kill you (Oswald Cobblepot) - fluff

Emperor Penguin (Oswald Cobblepot) - smut

Smoking Roses Pt.1 (Victor Zsasz) - smut

Smoking Roses Pt.2 (Victor Zsasz)- smut

Tainted Riddle (Ed Nygma) - fluff

What am I? (Ed Nygma) - fluff/Violence

Five-O (Jim Gordon) - smut

Stalked (Jeremiah Valeska) - Violence/fluff

Fantastic Beasts

Blue fire and silver smoke (Gellert Grindelwald) - fluff

Heaven without fear (Credence Barebone) - smut

Boardwalk Empire

Gentleman with a dark side (Arnold Rothstein) - smut

[musings-of-a-rose]

Clint (Freaky Tales) Masterlist

*=indicates smut or eventual smut (see fic warnings for details)

One Shots:

A New Life*

Series Masterlists:

Coming Soon

[natandwandaseries]

Nat, Yelena, and Clint

[ketzpart]

“Catch Me Now, I’m Falling” ( A 5 Times +1 Comic)

1. Mandatory Team Trust Fall

2. Cracks in the Sidewalk

3. Stakeout Psych-Out

4. Lucky Might Be the Best Wingman

5. Hazards of the Job

+1. A Real Trust Fall

[lunaroserites]

It's Okay, We're Okay

Pairing: Established Bucky x Fem!Reader

Characters: Avengers Cast

Summery: Snippets into an OC's life that I love, that sorta follows the cannon events of the Infinity SAGA. She is enhanced and maybe a little OP, but whatever lol

Warnings: Not beta'd! All mistakes are my own. Friends fluff, swearing, implied sex, kissing, flirting, marriage, character death. Sorta cannon compliant. Cannon is a suggestion. No use of YN and very little/no body description

Word Court: 6048

Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! ❤️

Please do not repost, translate or otherwise copy my work elsewhere, without my express permission, thank you! Lunaroserites on tumblr and ao3

“How about a semi stable 100 year old man,” Bucky said with a bright smile as he hugged Steve, his tone lighter than it had been in months. You couldn’t help but smile as you walked up toward the two. 

“And how about his semi stable almost 100 year old wife?” You mused, Steve looked at you for a moment before his eyes flicked to Bucky’s face. You held your hand up and a beautiful vibranium ring sat on your ring finger, Bucky held up his vibranium arm and flexed his fingers, the matching ring visibly different from the rest of his arm. Steve’s face broke out into an even bigger smile. 

“Congrats you guys,” he pulled you both in a one armed hug each. Bucky’s arm crept around your waist in the hug and you held Steve’s arm tightly. 

Natasha ran up to you and wrapped you in a tight hug, “congratulations!” You smiled at her and touched her forehead with yours. 

“What are we facing,” you asked, looking back to Steve. He delved into what we were about to face. “Well at least it will be easy,” you said sarcastically, leaning to Bucky’s side for some comfort. He held you tightly into his side for a brief moment. 

“I’ll give you two a moment,” Steve turned to speak with T’Challa and the rest of the crew. 

Bucky placed his hand on your cheek and leaned his forehead into yours, his metal hand holding your waist gently. You mirrored him, holding the back of his head and reaching up on your tiptoes to meet him halfway, your other hand splayed open on his chest. He stared contentedly into your eyes for a few moments, pouring all his love and affection into that look. 

“I love you,” you said softly and pressed a soft kiss to his plush lips. 

“I love you doll,” he whispered back after you pulled back. You took a couple deep breaths together and parted from one another. You rolled your shoulders and stretched your arms out, tilting your head side to side a couple times to warm up. 

“It’s okay.” 

“We’re okay,” he finished. 

“Looks like we have a battle to face,” you as you rejoined Steve and the rest of the crew. You cracked your knuckles, pulled your hood up, and unsheath your daggers.“Phantom out,” you faded into the shadows leaving a wave of calm behind as you flitted through the shadows toward the upcoming battle. “You better watch his ass Steve, he’s not as spry as he once was,” you teased into the ear piece. 

“You weren’t thinking that last night when you screamed my name, Honey” Bucky quipped back, you blushed. 

“Let’s keep the comms clean you two,” Steve said trying to sound stern, but you could pick the amusement out in his tone. 

“Oh don’t be a bitch,” you groaned as one of the weird alien creatures dodged your daggers. You screeched when one clipped your shoulder, it picked your scent up even though you were hidden in the shadows. One swift movement and the creature was dead with the blade of your dagger embedded in its skull. Pulling it out and shaking it off you heard Bucky curse on the comms and you were immediately heading toward him. 

You ran and dodged everyone and everything on the way to Bucky’s side. Still immersed in the shadows, you climbed up on Bucky’s back, he barely registered your weight as you perched on his shoulder as he picked up a small raccoon and spun around creating a circle of bullets hitting everything surrounding them. 

“How much for the arm?” It asked. 

“Not for sale,” you answered, reappearing, sitting on Bucky's shoulder with one leg crossed over the other and a smirk on your face. The raccoon looked perplexed as he looked you up and down for a moment before shaking his head. 

“I’ll get that arm,” you snorted at the racoon's declaration.

“Doll? Steve?” Bucky called, you turned around, Steve following suit and you watched in horror as Bucky’s legs started disappearing.

“Bucky?” You started running toward him, catching his hand in yours and his eyes bore into yours, you were falling to your knees as he disappeared more and more, dust clenched into your fist as his hand vanished. 

“I love…” and he was gone, the dull thunk of his gun hitting the ground filled your ears. 

“BUCKY!? BUCKY!” You screamed, an inhuman wail left your lips as your hands moved around the dust that scattered the ground where he fell. You didn’t register Steve’s arms wrap around you as he hauled you up and away from your husband’s body, dust. You kicked and wailed in his arms, sobs wrecking your body as you screamed for Bucky. 

“Hey, hey,” Steve’s voice was right in your ear as he gripped your arms to your sides, his other hand pulling your face into his neck. He was trying to sooth you, he maneuvered your body so you were being cradled into his chest, his big hand cupping the back of your head into his shoulder as you shook uncontrollably, sobs wrecking your throat.

“Bucky,” you sobbed, fisting Steve’s tactical suit. “Bucky…” your voice quieted as you cried into his shoulder as he held you tightly. 

“I know, I know,” he soothed, his hand rubbing up and down your back in circles like he did after he personally told you Bucky fell from that train. Another sod ripped though your trembling form. 

“Steve, I’m dreaming right? This is a nightmare right,” you pulled back and looked into his eyes, he had a far off look in them. That question mirrored the one you asked back then, and right now he wasn’t seeing Phantom, enhanced Avenger, he was seeing you, that tiny woman that held the heart of his best friend in her hands. Your voice was desperate, all you wanted to do was wake up in your bed cuddled up to your husband. But all you were met with were Steve’s saddened blue eyes. He shook his head and pulled you back into a tight hug. You sobbed again, all the strength in your body gone. 

1 week later 

You sat and stared out the window of the compound, you barely moved from that spot since Steve placed you there a week ago. You barely ate, all food made your stomach turn uncomfortably, everything reminded you of him. Looking at your ring brought silent sobs up, as your tear ducts were long empty from all the tears you shed. 

The sound of a glass hitting the table made you jump, you turned your head to look at where the noise came from. 

“You look awful,” Rocket said. You scoffed and looked away from him. He had spent the last week drinking Tony’s expensive liquor, your heart clenched at the thought of Tony, you still had no clue if he was still alive or where he was. 

You had dark bags under your eyes and your hair was greasy, your clothes only changed because Natasha took it upon herself to get you changed a couple days ago. You felt incredibly numb, the world was devoid of all feeling and colour. You were spiraling and you couldn’t stop. 

You flinched when cold glass touched your bare arm, you looked over and Rocket was holding out a glass of amber liquor. You took it and shot it back, welcoming the burn it caused. 

“He was your husband?” Rocket asked, tears stung your eyes as you closed them and sniffled before nodding. 

“Ye… yes,” you choked out. He gave you a sad look, and placed his paw on your arm where he touched the glass a moment before. Pulling back he lifted the bottle and tilted it toward you. You held the glass out and he topped it up. 

“To the loved ones we lost,” he clinked the bottle to your glass and you both tipped the drink back. You finished yours in one go, the burn less than the last time. He refilled the cup. 

“Tony’s gonna be pissed,” you couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled out of your throat. You wanted to blame it on the booze, but you haven’t been able to get drunk since 1946. Maybe it was the fact Rocket was the first person to look at you with something other than pity in the last week or the shock was finally starting to wear off. Whatever it was, you appreciated it. 

1 week later

That’s how your nights went for the next week. Sharing a drink or two of Tony’s expensive liquor with Rocket. You barely saw Steve and the rest of the team as they were busy with relief efforts. Whenever Steve was in the compound he had trouble evenlooking at you, like it hurt his heart more to see you so distant. 

“Tell me about him,” Rocket said as he topped your glass up. He usually avoided personal questions, so this was unusual. You sucked in a sharp breath before pulling your knees up to your chest and looking at the ring on your finger. A fresh wave of tears welled up and you blinked a couple times, you took a couple shuddering breaths before shaking your head and looking out the window, your chin on your knees. 

“He was everything to me,” you started. “We met after Steve saved him from Hydra back in the 40s,” Rocket gave you a questioning look. “Did you look up anything about Steve?” He nodded, “I know there’s not as much on Bucky and I out there.” He nodded again. “He could make anyone feel at ease, he was so effortlessly happy despite everything that was happening. I had heard girls talk about falling in love and it sounded like horse shit,” you chuckled. “But then I met him, and I knew instantly what they were talking about. Everything just felt right.” 

“Bucky and I were almost married back then. But it was postponed for the mission he went on to bring in Zola, and then he didn’t come home.”  

You pressed your palm to your eyes, “I was inconsolable, I’m surprised Howard didn’t send me back to America,” that name confused him. “Howard Stark is my adoptive brother. My mom died giving birth to me, dad wasn’t around, his mom and mine were best friends. So the Starks raised me as their own. That’s Tony’s dad.” He nodded again, he just listened. It was nice. 

“Back to Bucky, there was a celebration happening in the canteen on the camp after Steve saved the 107th, Peggy and I were the only women there who weren’t nurses. She had been speaking to Steve and Bucky, well more so flirting with Steve.” You giggled. 

“Steve made a comment ‘maybe she has a friend’ and I just so happened to need to speak with Steve right after Peggy, who was my best friend. So Steve made a comment after I left,” you chuckled thinking back. “Bucky asked me to dance that night and we ended up in his bunk, the rest is history really,” you chuckled. 

“He was so sweet, flirty and funny. I was smitten from the second he introduced himself when I was talking to Steve,” you said dreamily. “Howard was pissed, how dare his baby sister date, the horror,” a full laugh came out as you remembered the look of horror on Howard's face when he caught you sneaking out of the bunk house the next morning. Your laugh was light and airy, like sweet bells or chimes. Steve had been listening to you from the door as you recounted your time back then. A ghost of a smile on his face. 

“So what happened, how are you still here?” Rocket asked. 

“After Steve went into the ice,” you noticed Steve now, your eyes saddened for a moment. “Howard threw himself into trying to replicate the serum. I was his first test subject, it felt right. No one else could do it. I felt like I owed it to Steve and Bucky to try and make their legacies survive. Kinda stupid,” you chuckled again. “In ‘51 we heard whispers of the Winter Soldier, they sent me to investigate. No one else came back alive. I was captured by Cerberus, the human experimentation division of Hydra. They held me captive for 61 years, until someone fucked up and my location was compromised and Fury was able to pinpoint me. He sent Steve in and well, he was surprised to see a face from his past staring back at him when he defrosted me.” 

Rocket nodded, and looked over to Steve, “I never expected to see her staring back at me,” he said softly, taking a seat on the sofa. “I never expected her to be an enhanced.” 

“I had ended up back in Hydra's hands after the battle of New York in 2012. I had changed hands a few times during my 6 decades captured. Cerberus had gone rouge at some point and it was a constant battle to get me back between the two. Hydra got their hands on the staff and used it on me, to see what it could do,” it was hard to talk about what you went through. It sounded insane. “Steve was on a mission to see if he could find the staff when he found me in cryostasis.”

“Fury sent me on a mission to find the staff, but I’m pretty sure he was actually sending me to find her. When I confronted him about it he just shrugged,” Steve added, you nodded along with him, having been with Steve during that confrontation. 

 “Hydra was terrified of me because my abilities were quite strong. I can disappear into shadows, and manipulate emotions with some mild telepathy and telekinesis. I think it's just my control of shadows, but I don’t really know.” 

“I remember not believing my eyes, it was like seeing a ghost,” Steve murmured, you nodded. 

“Seeing Steve was shocking to me as well, last I knew he went down with a plane somewhere in the arctic,” you said back. Rocket listened intently. 

“I remember meeting Tony for the first time when you brought me back to the tower. I couldn’t believe it, Howard actually had a kid, a son,” you smiled. “He knew who I was. Apparently Howard talked about me a lot, and they had a picture of me in the house,” you looked down. Even though you were technically younger than him, you always felt like an aunt to him. “He called me auntie,” you chuckled, your eyes saddening again. “I miss them Steve,” you sighed and leaned back against the sofa. 

“How did you find Bucky?” Rocket asked. 

“He found us,” you laughed, and looked over at Steve. “HYDRA sent the Winter Soldier after us. It’s a long story.” You said quickly, “they wanted Cap gone and me back. I’ll never forget the emotions I felt that day in Washington when the Winter Soldier was revealed to be Bucky,” you shuddered thinking back to that fateful day that completely changed the trajectory of your life.

You three finished the bottle that night. 

1 week later 

You were finally up and about, trying to be useful when a ship touched down on the lawn of the compound.

“Tony!” You shouted, taking off in a sprint toward him as he walked down the ramp, a blue lady following him. You held on to him to keep him steady and he looked at you perplexed. 

“I lost the kid,” he said frantically. “I failed, I lost the kid,” he sounded so defeated. 

“We failed too, I lost Bucky,” he gave you a pained expression. “I’m sorry about the kid,” you said solemnly as you walked with him into the compound. Pepper hot on your heels. 

Steve asked him if he knew where Thanos might be, Tony gave him the most angry look you had ever seen. 

“Maybe we should let him rest,” you said softly, Tony already ripping into Steve and then he was given a sedative. 

The blue lady, Nebula as she introduced herself, had an idea on where to find Thanos, so you were traveling into space. Rocket had let you sit next to him, you two had grown very close in the last few weeks. 

Finding Thanos wasn’t as satisfying as you had hoped. He had destroyed the stones and there was no way to bring your loved ones back. Before Thor killed him you had jumped on his back and dug your fingers into his temples and made him relieve everything, every mistake, every failure and twisted his mind painfully, “this is for taking him from me again,” you ground out, tears pouring from your eyes and your head was pounding. Then Thor killed him, and it was unsatisfying. 

Time skip

Tony left the compound, telling Steve it was his. Pepper went with him. You were devastated. It took two years for you and Tony to get back on proper speaking terms. He held a lot of resentment towards you and Bucky, well for you still loving Bucky after he killed Howard and Marie. 

“I did horrible things to Tony,” you shouted. “Do you blame me?” He shook his head, fire in his eyes. 

“That’s different, it wasn’t you,” he bit back. 

“How? It wasn’t him either,” You snapped. 

“You didn’t kill my mom,” he said. 

“Tony. I know nothing will ever change that. But please, I’m begging you. Please try and understand it wasn’t Bucky either,” you said sadly, reaching out to touch his cheek. “Please. Bucky loved Howard, he wouldn’t have killed him or Marie if he was in control of his mind,” you said tenderly. Tony’s cheek connected with your palm and you rubbed your thumb over his cheek bone. “Please Tony, for me. I’m not asking for you to be friends or even forgive him. I’m asking for you to forgive me, to let me back in. You’re my only family left,” you said softly. 

He nodded a moment later, “okay,” he pulled you into a hug. “I missed you, I’m sorry you lost Barnes,” he said softly. You let out a breath of relief and hugged him back just as hard. “I’m sorry you lost the kid,” you felt him nod. 

You semi retired over the next few years, only helping out sometimes, you tried to live a semi normal life. You spent a lot of time with Tony and Pepper, enjoying getting to be an actual auntie to Morgan. She was like Tony’s mini me, and it made your heart ache you never got to know Tony as a boy.  Tony even broke down after some time and told you about Howard, how he was, you were baffled, as the man he described was nothing like the brother you grew up with. 

“If I were around, I would have kicked his ass,” you said one night while sharing a drink with Tony.

“Seeing how you are with Morgan, it would have been nice to have you around growing up,” he replied. “Dad talked about you a lot, he said I reminded him of you, you were just as impulsive and hard headed as I was apparently.” That made you throw your head back and laugh.  

“You remind me of Howard actually, I’m sorry you never really got to see that side of him,” your voice tapered off as you looked down at the liquor in your cup.

“I gotta ask, you and Barnes, did you,” he took a deep breath, “did you guys ever plan on having kids, white picket fence, a dog.” You knew it was still hard for him to bring up Bucky, it was a wound that would likely never heal.

You thought for a moment, rolling the ring around on your finger that you vowed to never remove, thinking back to when you and Bucky met and were young, full of hopes and dreams for a future stolen from you. “Yes, maybe a brownstone in Brooklyn though, or an acreage in upstate. A couple kids and a dog or two. The American Dream.” 

“I meant now, after you guys found one another again,” Tony said softly. 

“Oh, if you really look at it, we only have had a handful of months together that were semi peaceful, so we never really talked about it again,” you said sadly. You watched him nod and he touched your hand. 

“You would be a great mom,” Tony squeezed your hand. Tears welled up in your eyes at his kind words. “For what it’s worth, I know the gone can’t appreciate it. But you can, the living can. I forgive him. It will always hurt and part of me will always be raw about it. But I forgive him.” The tears fell now, and you sniffled while pulling Tony into a tight hug, relief flooding your body. 

Steve respected that you wanted to try and live life semi-normally. He would only call you to participate in the field when something required your abilities and expertise. 

With the help of Tony you were able to claim the trust Howard had set up for you after you disappeared in 1951. He apparently had a gut feeling you were still alive. Out there somewhere. Tony also helped with getting your stake in Stark Industries legitimized. You rented an apartment in New York, so you could still visit the compound easily. Not really wanting to buy a house yet or build one, part of you still held out that maybe one day you would get Bucky back and you two could start that family you both dreamed about. 

You were staring at Steve like he had ten heads just magically sprout out of his neck as you both stood in your living room. “Come again?” your heart pounded loudly and your palms were calmly, your brain going into overdrive as you clutched your hands in front of you.

“We might be able to get them back,” Steve said again, and your breath hitched, it was the most hopeful you heard him since before the blip. You stared at him in shock. 

“Don’t fuck with my heart Steve,” you voice cracked slightly. He shook his head. 

“I’m not I promise, we need to see if we can get Tony on board, I was hoping you would help,” Steve asked, almost begging. 

You stood next to Steve while Bruce tested the time machine van Scott brought to the compound. Both of you sighing when he came back as a baby, and then coming back himself in a soiled suit. 

Your heart beat spiked excitedly when you saw one of Tony’s sports cars fly up the compound's driveway, you squeezed Steve's hand, and he squeezed yours back. 

You didn’t time travel, there weren't enough suits or pym-practicals for you to go as well. You monitored the equipment while you waited for the team to come back. Losing Natasha was devastating, you comforted Clint after he got back. “I couldn’t save her,” he sounded broken and your heart shattered. 

You watched in horror as Bruce basically barbequed his arm to undo the snap. Everyone looked around at one another, trying to figure out if it worked or not. Your phone and Clint’s started ringing. You both walked over hesitantly, you grabbed yours. Sam’s face on the screen and you felt a sob get stuck in your throat. You and Clint shared a quick look before you both swiped to answer, placing the phone to your ear your breath hitched when you heard him. 

“Doll,” tears flooded your cheeks as you brought your hand to cover your mouth. 

“Bucky,” you choked out, “Buc…” a scream ripped through your throat as the compound collapsed around you, burying you and Clint. 

“Hello?” Clint groaned as he flashed his light around. 

“Help,” you coughed as rubble shifted on top of you. “Clint,” you called out. 

“Come on kid,” he said, holding your hand as he pulled you free. 

“I’m older than you Clint,” you laughed a dry laugh, rubbing the dirt off your face. He gave you a deadpan expression. “Sorry,” you raised your hand up in surrender. 

“Shit,” you looked down at the ground, the gauntlet was sitting in front of you two. Then you heard it, it was faint. Clint immediately sent a torch arrow through the tunnel, revealing creatures similar to the ones you fought in Wakanda. Clint quickly grabbed the gauntlet and you both ran for it. 

“God I hate those things,” you groaned as you ran alongside Clint. 

“You fought them before?” He asked. 

“In Wakanda before the blip,” he nodded as he  shot explosive arrows into the pipes. The explosion caused you both to fly forward and you fell on top of him. With a groan you rolled off him and quickly sprang up. More were coming, he looked up and shot a grapple up and offered you his hand. You shook your hand and sunk into the shadows and crawled up the wall in them as he cut one of the creatures down. As he landed from his grapple, you jammed your dagger into the floor and used your momentum to kick one of them back down the hole. 

He raised his blade over the hole and yelled before rolling over and lying down for a moment, you followed suit groaning with him. 

“Oh hey I know you,” Clint murmured as Nebula came and took the gauntlet. 

“Father, I have the stones,” your eyes snapped open and you looked at her. You sunk into the shadows before she could stop you. 

“You what?” Clint mumbled, he was shocked and more awake now. She placed her boot on his chest and pointed a gun at him. 

“Stop,” a new voice said. A lady whose skin was green entered with a gun pointed at Nebula came in. Nebula moved, her gun still pointed at Clint’s head as you skulked through the shadows to get behind her. 

“You’re betraying us?” other Nebula asked, as the other lady held her arm steady, the gun aimed at her. Another Nebula came in with her hands up and Clint jumped out from the middle of them. You sent a small pulse of calm toward him so he could still feel you there with him. 

“You don’t have to do this,” your Nebula says. 

“I am this,” the other retorts. 

“No you're not,” the green lady says, you stayed still and watched. Poised to strike when needed. 

“You’ve seen what we’ve become,” your Nebula says softly as she walks towards the other. 

“Nebula, listen to her,” the other lady urged. 

“You can change,” the green lady dropped her gun, you tensed. 

“He won’t let me,” the other Nebula said tearfully and aimed her gun at the green lady. You sprung forward and grabbed her arms from behind revealing yourself completely, as your Nebula shot her. You gasped and dropped to the ground and started hyperventilating, feeling all over your chest for damage. Clint was to your side in an instant checking you over. 

“Okay, breathe, breathe,” you took a sharp breath and stared into Clint’s eyes, yours wild and terrified. 

“It’s okay, we’re okay,” you repeat your mantra out loud. You scrambled up as Clint grabbed the gauntlet and you two ran. 

Wakanda 2023 Post Unsnap 

Bucky woke up face down in the dirt, and he was very confused. Sam was to his side instantaneously and pulled him up. 

“What the hell happened?” Bucky shook his head and looked around. “Doll? Doll!” He shouted. “Where are you?” He called out, hoping for an answer he was met with silence. 

“I have no idea,” Sam looked bewildered, “I’m going to call her,” he said and dialed your number, he didn’t get an answer and Bucky’s stomach tied itself in knots as he heard it ring. When he heard her breath as she answered. 

“Doll?” He asked breathlessly, she didn’t answer for a couple beats but then her sweet voice crackled through the phone. 

“Bucky,” a breath of relief flooded him as he heard her voice. “Buc..” he heard her scream and the sound of falling rubble and then the line went dead. 

“Doll?” Bucky called frantically, “Doll!?” He screamed into the phone. 

“Barnes,” Sam said sternly. “Barnes,” he tried again. “Bucky!” He grabbed him by the shoulders and made him look at him. “We’ll get to her,” Sam promised, his own heart twisting. 

Golden circles opened up suddenly in front of them, Wanda and Groot joining them as they looked through the portals in bewilderment. “We’re Masters of the Mythic Arts, your team needs help facing Thanos.” 

Avengers Compound 2023

“Did anyone ever tell you, you talk too much,” you shouted as you reappeared next to Steve. He looked awful. You looked around you and your heart beat slowed as you took everything in. You couldn’t see Tony or Thor. Or anyone else for that matter, Clint sent you ahead to try and find Cap since you could move faster in the shadows than he could run. 

“Ca,” a muffled sound crackled through the comm in Steve’s ears, yours crackling to life as well. “Cap? It’s Sam.” The comm cleared, “on your left,” golden circles opened what looked like portals and T’Challa, Shuri and Okoye walked though. Sam flew out right after and your heart soared as you watched him fly above and circle back, landing in front of you and Steve.   

Bucky walked though one of the portals and you could have screamed for joy. Your stomach started somersaulting and your heart rate spiked. “Go,” Steve said softly. You took off toward Bucky, his arm opening to you almost instantly as you body slammed into him a moment later. His arm wrapped tightly around your waist and yours wrapped around his neck. He inhaled a deep breath through his nose that was buried into your hair. 

You pulled back and placed your hand on his cheeks and smiled brightly up at him, “Bucky,” you were crying. 

“Doll,” he whispered back. In his arm you turned toward Thanos again, Bucky’s arm secured around your waist as you faced the purple monster. You looked at one another once more before nodding at each other. 

“I love you,” you said softly. 

“I love you too,” he said back tenderly. 

“It’s okay.”

“We’re okay.”

“AVENGERS!” Steve shouted. “Assemble.” It was chaos the moment he finished. 

“Let’s do this. Phantom out,” you faded into the shadows instantly. 

You danced around slicing at anything that got to close, trying to track Clint to figure out where he had made it off too when you went ahead. 

You kept close to Bucky and stabbed a rogue creature that almost got Rocket. He whipped around and you half appeared smiling at him before throwing a knife and embedding into the skull of a creature that was too close to Bucky for your liking. 

“Hey Daisy,” Rocket chuckled. The nickname he coined for you a few years back stuck hard, and you didn’t hate it. Bucky looked over his shoulder with a questioning expression before shrugging and continuing what he was doing. You slipped back into the shadows and kept fighting. 

“Bucky the kid,” you shouted as you tried to dodge the oncoming fire. “I got you, protect him,” you watched as Bucky jumped forward and took a hit, your shadows protecting him. You scrambled forward and checked on him. The gun fire lulled for a moment and started firing in the sky. 

A missile like something started taking out the ship. You and Bucky watched in awe as it started to fall apart and fall into the lake. 

“You got something for me?” Carol asked. 

Peter handed her the gauntlet, “I don’t know how you’re gonna get it through all that.” 

“Don’t worry, she’s got help,” Okoye said as you all appeared around him. You emerged from the shadows for a moment and nodded to Wanda, smiling at her, she smiled back. 

Pepper was pulling Peter away from him, “Tony,” you ran forward and fell to your knees next to him and took his head in your hands. “Tony.” You felt tears slip down your cheeks as you let him go and crawled backwards, collapsing to the ground, Peter falling next to you, you pulled him into a hug. 

It was Bucky that pulled you up into his arms a short while later, you completely gave your strength over to him and went completely limp in his grasp. He looked down at you tenderly and nuzzled his nose into your hair softly. “It’s okay, we’re okay,” his voice was soothing and raw. 

“I love you 3000,” you placed your hand over your mouth and stifled the sob that threatened to come out and leaned your head into Steve’s shoulder. He wrapped his arm around you and hugged you to him. Your heart broke for Morgan, his little mini me.

While Pepper gathered the ceremonial ‘Tony Stark Has A Heart,’ bouquet, Morgan toddled over to you. You crouched down to her level and gave her a big hug. She pulled back and her little face full of tears, you whipped them gently and smiled at her. 

“It’s okay,” you said softly into her hair as you pulled her back into another hug. 

“We’re okay,” she caught you off guard by finishing the mantra you repeated regularly. It was a safety net for you, something that soothed your soul in the darkest of times. You couldn't count how many times you said it to her when she would fall and hurt herself or if she had a bad dream or if she missed her parents when you watched her.  

Too hear you say it brought some sense of calm to you and nodded at her. “We are,” you cupped her cheek and smiled at her. “Dad will always love you, and he’ll always be right here,” you touched her heart, “and right here,” you touched her temple. She smiled sadly at you. 

“Luv you auntie,” she whispered before going back to her mom.   

As you followed Pepper out of the house, you joined Bucky’s side to watch her set Tony's heart adrift on the lake. He wrapped his arm around you and held you close. 

“I’m sorry you lost him,” Bucky said quietly as you watched on. You let out a deep shuddering sigh and nodded. 

“He forgave you after everything,” you murmured softly, your eyes sad. “I’m sad he never got to tell you himself.” Bucky kissed your temple gently and nodded against your head. 

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back,” Steve said to Bucky with a smile. 

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you,” he murmured back and they hugged. 

He looked at you and smiled, “it’s okay,” he said softly. 

“We’re okay,” you finished. He pulled you into a hug tightly before letting go to bring the stones back. 

“I’m gonna miss you punk,” Bucky said softly. 

“It’s gonna be okay Buck,” Steve said as he stepped on the platform. 

Something screamed inside you that something was going to happen, you and Bucky stood side by side while Sam hammered on Bruce to figure out what happened. 

“Hey Sam,” Bucky called as you two looked toward a man sitting on a bench. You approached it first and looked at him, you swallowed hard. 

“Steve,” your voice cracked. He smiled up at you. 

“I’m so proud of you. Keep each other safe, and love hard,” you reached forward and wrapped him in a tight hug for a moment. You looked at his hand and noticed the ring.

“I’m glad you got to be happy, we’ll miss you. It’s okay,” you whispered as you stepped back. 

“We’re okay,” he nodded back. You walked away while wiping a tear from your eye and joined Bucky again while Sam went and spoke with him. 

“You don’t want to say anything,” you whispered to him, he wrapped his arm around you gently and pulled you close as he watched. 

“No,” Bucky said simply. You nodded and pressed your head into his shoulder. 

Feel free you send me a message if you have a request or would like more, or would like to be added to the tag list <3

If you want me to go more in depth into how she fits in the time line, let me know!

[thatonebrazilian]

Tolerate it

Summary: Everyone assumed you were fine, but what would they do if you just... broke free?

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Reader; undertones of Carol Danvers x Reader; Platonic Clint Barton x Reader; mentions of platonic Wanda Maximoff x Reader.

Word count: Around 6K

TW: Deep angst, assassination attempt, betrayal of trust, suicidal thoughts, dealing with grief, self sacrifices.

A/N: I've been in the mood for angst, apparently. And I actually wasn't planning on writing anything (I shouldn't have, I was short for time as it was), but I was listening to Taytay and the fic just came to me. This will probably hurt a lot. Just hurt, not much comfort. Let there be pain.

You didn't know what you did wrong. You didn't know how you could fix this. You didn't know if it even could be fixed.

All you did, all you could do, was just sit there and watch her. She was reading, her head low, almost as if she was trying to keep a barrier between you two.

You sat in the corner of the room, watching her as she immersed herself in reports. The soft glow of the lamp cast a delicate halo around her, illuminating her beautiful, beautiful features. And yet, on that night, as on many before, the light seemed unable to reach her eyes. 

You knew she was struggling, you were too. Everyone was. The Blip had taken many from their families, and the toll it took on those who stayed made many more lose their loved ones. The remaining Avengers lost Clint to his own darkness, and you lost the love of your life to what you could only describe as self-isolation.

Natasha had always had an unhealthy work-life balance, yet you always managed to counter that… But not anymore.

You had been together for what felt like an eternity, intertwined in a love that once knew no bounds. Now, though, there was a growing chasm separating the two of you. Natasha would only engage in conversations that revolved around missions and saving the world, and none of those came from you.

You used to be an Avenger too, with powers so astronomical that you never learned to control them. Bruce and Tony had to create some sort of inhibitor for you, lest you destroy the world by mistake.

You were probably one of the most powerful beings out there, but having no control whatsoever of your powers would only bring destruction, so you learned to live without them, the bracelet Tony made never leaving your wrist.

Being a somewhat powerless avenger was hard, but it was worth it. You saved people, you helped your friends.

But since the Blip things have changed. 

After watching Wanda, one of your best friends, disappear right in front of your eyes; after seeing Clint's descent into darkness, you didn't feel like fighting anymore. So you decided to stop, you stopped so you could take care of yourself, take care of Natasha.

They were small, the things you did for her, but meaningful nonetheless. You'd wait by the door every day to greet her like a god-damned war hero, to show her some love and comfort after a hard day at work; you'd make her favorite dishes, lay the table with your best cutlery; you even took upon painting as it seemed to ease your mind, and you'd use your best colors for her portraits (and there were many)... And yet, all Natasha gave back were lukewarm smiles; hums, and nods in acknowledgment of your attempts at conversation, and a lackluster "thanks". 

She seemed to simply… Tolerate it.

~

You woke up in the wee hours of the morning, the sun hadn't risen yet, and the moonlight shone through the curtains, casting a soft glow across the room. Your gaze fell upon Natasha, who lay beside you sleeping lightly. The rise and fall of her chest matched the rhythm of her breathing, a calming sight that used to bring you comfort.

But then, as you watched her, you noticed a subtle alteration in her breathing patterns, something that would go unnoticed by anyone else. The steady rhythm became irregular, interrupted by moments of slightly shallower breaths and the briefest of pauses. There was a tension in her muscles that hadn't been there a second ago, almost as if a silent battle was being waged beneath her immaculate skin.

Natasha's eyes remained closed, her face serene as if she was lost in the most peaceful of dreams. But you knew the truth. She was pretending to be asleep. It felt like she didn't want to wake up beside you, like she simply tolerated your presence, but now even that tolerance seemed to be waning.

You wanted to reach out, to offer her solace, to take all the pain away, but the invisible barrier between you seemed impossible to break through. The distance that had grown between you now felt like a vast expanse, impossible to bridge. Her closed eyes spoke volumes, a silent plea for space, for time, for avoidance.

Your heart ached with the weight of unspoken words, your eyes burned with the sting of unshed tears. You missed Clint, he'd know how to deal with this, he'd help her, but he'd help you, too. He'd hug you and tell you that everything was gonna be ok, he'd make sure it'd turn out that way. You missed Wanda, she'd take you out to eat ice cream, watch silly sitcoms with you, tell you the stupidest jokes just to see you crack a smile, she'd even threaten Natasha if she imagined the other redhead was hurting you in any way, shape or form.

You missed your life, your old life, before the Blip.

You turned away from her, not wanting her to see the tears in your eyes in case she opened hers.

~

As it turns out, the first time Natasha had a semblance of a real conversation with you in… You don't even know how many weeks… Was to ask you to join a team to take down whatever new evil had shown up.

You didn't even think twice about it, you took the job, you'd do anything to get closer to her again.

The team consisted of you, Steve, and Carol, who was visiting Earth. You didn't even know where you were headed or who you were facing, you just wanted to come back with an excuse to actually talk to your fianceé. 

As you prepared to get into the jet, you saw her there, giving off directions before everyone boarded. You wrestled with conflicting emotions, torn between respecting Natasha's need for distance and the overwhelming desire to break through the walls she had erected. 

You felt a hand on your shoulder then, too warm to be Nat's, and you immediately felt the comfort she radiated.

Carol wasn't the most sentimental person, she wouldn't tell you that everything would be fine, she wouldn't offer comforting words, but she'd be there, a warm unwavering presence amidst the chaos (even if you rarely saw each other in person). She was the one good thing that the Blip brought you.

"Don't think too much about it," the blonde said, already knowing what was on your mind. "Keep your head in the game, I don't want you getting hurt out there, ok?"

You nodded while managing to keep to yourself the strong urge to hug her, to seek comfort in that friendly and familiar warmth of hers.

She nodded back, turned and boarded the jet, having already reviewed with Natasha her role in the mission.

You looked at your fianceé only to find her eyes already on you. You didn't think too much into it, though, she was probably just reviewing in her head the role you'd have for this mission.

Once again you found yourself wanting to go to her, but the fear of rejection loomed over you, a haunting presence that whispered of the potential pain that awaited if you ventured too close.

You turned away and stepped in the jet.

~

You stumbled into the Avengers' compound, a dull ache radiating from your wounded shoulder, the bloodstained clothes doing nothing to give you comfort.

The mission had taken an unexpected turn, and both you and Steve got shot. Multiple times.

As soon as you stepped through the quinjet's door Natasha was there, the worry in her eyes making you question if you were hallucinating. She walked to you, her eyes never leaving yours, it was almost as if you could feel her again, the old Natasha, your Natasha.

"What the fuck happened? You weren't supposed to get hurt!" she exclaimed in a mix of anger, desperation and concern. She ran her hands through her unkempt hair. It was an uncommon sight, indeed, to see her so disheveled.

You knew she had been worried, the moment Steve reported back you could hear her pacing back and forth through the comms, you just didn't know it would affect her this much. You didn't think she cared anymore.

Almost as if sensing your thoughts, Natasha took a hesitant step closer and reached for your hands. "You got me really worried." She said, her eyes looking deep into yours, her hands soothingly cold to the touch. 

You could see she wanted to say something else, but almost as if she was waging a silent war against herself, she shook her head, released your hands and sighed. "Go to the med bay. I'll meet you there."

You nodded weakly, too tired from blood loss to argue. Too tired in general.

As you made your way to the medical facilities, the pain in your shoulder intensifying with each step, you couldn't help but think of all the times Clint saved your ass from stupid bullet wounds like these, or how Wanda would literally create a shield around you whenever you faced danger.

You missed them, you missed Wanda so much, and you couldn't help but wish it was you and not her. And Clint, god, you hated what he became, you hated the Ronin, you hated that he wasn't there to heal by your side, to heal with Natasha, but you still missed him so much.

As you entered the med bay, you were greeted by a warmth that made you question how she could have gotten there first.

"Bold move, jumping in front of a sea of bullets like that" Carol said, there was no warmth in her voice though. You closed your eyes.

"I couldn't let them shoot that child," you said, sitting on a cot and looking apologetically at her.

Carol gritted her teeth, her eyes scanning your wounded shoulder, the part of you that got the most hits, with a mix of worry and anger written across her face.

"So you just deemed your life less valuable than hers and decided to throw it away?" She clenched her fists.

"That's not it and you know it," you said in a small voice. It was worse, but no, she didn't know it. She didn't need to. You didn't want to burden her too.

Carol's eyes softened, she took a couple steps towards you and touched your uninjured shoulder. "I just worry about you, sweet girl." She said and sighed, "Look, I know you don't have much to live for right now, but you're one of my best friends, I wouldn't be able to deal with it if something ever happened to you. And by the looks of it neither would Natasha, despite all the shit she's been pulling."

It was amazing how Carol, just like Wanda before her, was able to fill you with lightness. With them, as well as with Clint, you felt cherished, cared for. You could never be more thankful for the blonde in front of you. Without Clint and Wanda here to support your near Natasha-less life, Carol was the one thing keeping you sane.

You just wished being sane was enough.

You managed a weak smile, though, and even if felt forced, it still seemed to have convinced Carol that you were ok. "I'll be fine, Carebear. Just a flesh wound. I know I haven't been in the field for a while, but it's nothing I can't handle."

Carol fought off a smirk. "Promise me you won't pull shit like that again, at least".

You saluted her, a mocking smile on your face, despite the ache you felt inside. "Aye, aye, Captain!"

She chuckled and shook her head, "You're the worst".

"But you love it!" Your answering smile was more genuine this time.

Her smile grew bigger, and you wished you could see it in person more often.

"I actually do." She said, shaking her head once more and turning away to leave the med bay.

It didn't take long for a nurse to come to tend to you. There were many bullet wounds around your body, although most were superficial. The worst was indeed your shoulder, having been hit four times.

You bitterly wondered how you could still be alive with all of these bullet holes around your body.

The minutes passed by, and yet there was no sign of Natasha, so after all your wounds have been treated and dressed you decided to go look for the redhead.

It was a bad idea. As you located her, your heart sank. There she was, tending to Steve's wounds, her focus solely on him. Even though there was nothing romantic about the situation, the sight of them together stirred a mix of emotions within you. Jealousy, longing, confusion. Betrayal. You wondered if there was something more between Natasha and Steve, a connection that surpassed friendship. You wondered why she would deem him deserving of having his wounds treated personally by her while you were sent to a nameless nurse.

Your mind raced, struggling with the whirlwind of emotions that engulfed you. Doubts crept in, and you questioned the very nature of your relationship with Natasha. Did she even love you still? Has she ever? Where was that woman who threw blankets over your barbed wire, leaving you just soft enough for all your other friends to approach? Why has she left you behind in her pursuit to build this new world instead of taking you along with her? The uncertainty gnawed at you, intensifying the ache in your shoulder. You made her your temple, your mural, your sky, but now you were left begging for footnotes in the story of her life.

As you stood there, watching her tend to his injuries, a deep sense of loneliness washed over you. The weight of the lack of acknowledgment you've been getting from her grew heavier, casting a shadow over the bond you once shared. The pain in your shoulder felt insignificant compared to the ache in your soul.

At that moment, you realized you couldn't take it anymore. You loved Natasha, you would probably love her till the end of your days, but you knew your love should be celebrated, and yet all she did was tolerate it.

~

You never thought about what she would do if you broke free, leaving the two of you in ruins. But that's what you did, you took the chains that bound you to Natasha and broke them.

You still longed for her, though, the neverending love you held for the woman felt like a dagger piercing your heart, a constant reminder of what you craved for, of what you once had. You wanted to remove it, to see it clatter to the ground as you bled out.

It was weird to gain the weight of her then lose it, but you needed to do it, you had to.

You were doing it for her as much as for yourself. Natasha had lost so, so much, but there was one person who could still come back, so you went to look for him, more in hopes of helping her than fulfilling your own desire of seeing him again.

Even if she didn't love you (which was the impression you got when you told her you'd be gone, looking for Clint, only to get a blank stare in response), you still loved her, you still wanted her to be as happy as she could, and you knew Clint was the person to make that happen, he was her best friend as much as he was yours.

You needed to help her heal somehow.

"She's been a mess since you left," Carol had said once during a video call, the vast expansion of the universe now looming right behind her, "don't ever tell her I said that, though." The grimace on her face told you she wasn't kidding.

"Steve's been trying to help more, even I am; I've been to earth since you left more times than I've been throughout my whole life. I'm afraid that if I stay gone too long, she won't be there when I come back… Since you left she barely takes care of herself. The place's a mess, she hasn't been eating much, and, again, don't ever tell her I said this, but I thought I'd never see her cry, and yet…"

You wondered if it had been all in your head, the way she seemed to avoid you, the way she seemed to take you for granted, the way she seemed to merely tolerate you.

In the midst of a turbulent storm of emotions, a newfound sense of urgency propelled your every step. You needed to find Clint, you needed to find him so you could go back to her, to see if she was really deteriorating that much, to ask her if it was all in your head, if you got it wrong somehow, if she actually loved you.

Time seemed to both crawl and fly, leaving you with moments of self-reflection in the solitude of your journey. Doubts and insecurities waged war within you, tearing at the fabric of your clarity. What if you discovered that Natasha's love had been genuine, but she had struggled to express it? What if she was simply too freshly traumatized to express it, and you had abandoned her at her worst moment?

You needed to go back to her, even if it was just to figure it out. But you wouldn't go back without Clint, you couldn't.

So you searched, and searched, and searched. And as you finally stood before Clint, his weathered face bearing the marks of his own battles, you found yourself engulfed in a deep ache. Two of the people you loved the most were immersed in pain, and you could do nothing to help.

"I can't believe you traveled so far, came all the way here for this," Clint spat, his voice filled with anger, his eyes filled with tears. "To ask me to come back so I can help her. Do you even worry about me? Did you ever stop to think that I lost my family? My wife's gone, Y/N! I lost my kids! Do you really think that I'm not dealing with my own shit right now?"

You shook your head, tears welled up in your eyes too, matching the anguish in your voice. "Fuck you, Clint! I'm not here just for her and you know that! You're my best friend, goddamnit, and you've been gone for years! I know you're hurting, but you gotta know that what you're doing is wrong, and it's not gonna bring Laura and the kids back." You shook your head, remembering the way the kids would all call you auntie Y/N/N. You sighed and shook your head in disappointment. "They would actually be ashamed of what you became."

You knew it was a low blow, but it was the truth, and he needed to hear it 

The moment he seemed to register those words, Clint's eyes became full of this sort of anger that you've never seen your friend display. But again, this wasn't Hawkeye, this was Ronin. 

Clint advanced upon you with rage in his eyes, his hand went to your throat, a dagger suddenly pressing against your ribs.

"Take that back." He said through gritted teeth, and you felt your eyes filling with tears once again.

Of course he wasn't above hurting you like this. He, too, didn't care about your own pain. 

You were tired, you were so fucking tired.

"Do it." You said, your voice devoid of emotions, the hollowness you now felt was all it conveyed. "It's not gonna make any difference if I'm gone, anyway."

You'd be just another death on his account, just a wisp of a memory in Natasha's mind.

Clint's brows furrowed, but his grip was unrelenting. You took your hands to his, the one holding the dagger, and pulled it up, so it wasn't resting above your ribs anymore, but right at your heart.

"Please," you said with a wavering voice, looking him deep in the eyes, trying to appeal no more to your friend, but to Ronin, "do it. Please."

The dagger clattered to the ground, Clint took a step away, looking at his hand as if it had personally offended him. He then looked at you, but you didn't meet his eyes, you were too absorbed looking at the dagger on the ground, feeling the brisk sense of freedom evading you as it finally stopped moving.

You then felt his arms around you, your head suddenly tucked into his neck.

"I'm so sorry," he said, his voice sounding desperate "I'm so sorry, Y/N, I'm so sorry," he kept repeating, and repeating, and repeating. 

You shook your head, your own desperation making you cling to him "Why didn't you do it? Why couldn't you just kill me?!"

His arms tightened around you as you both fell to your knees.

"I'm sorry," he just repeated, "I'm sorry I took this path, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry I wasn't a good friend."

You wished that he being sorry was enough.

~

When you came back, there was a talk about fucking time travel. The Ant-guy was back, and so was Tony, Thor, and even Bruce. Everything seemed to be falling into place, so why did you still feel so…. broken?

But, somehow, as you and Clint stepped foot inside the Avengers compound, the familiar surroundings embraced you like a long-lost home. The tension that has seemed to permeate your very bones during the journey began to ease, replaced by a cautious hope for what awaited you.

You knew things wouldn’t instantly fix themselves up; Natasha wouldn’t just come to you and apologize for all she’s done (no, that wasn’t like her at all); your heart wouldn’t suddenly be mended, even if she did; your mind wouldn't let you forget the pain, the deep ache the past five years inflicted upon you.

And yet, there was hope.

There was the possibility of bringing Wanda back, of having Carol around more often, of doing something good for humanity. Of making Natasha happy again.

The moment the doors opened you saw her. She was talking to the Ant-guy and to Bruce, her brows furrowed as she nodded along.

And then she turned her head and caught sight of you, and of who was by your side. Her eyes widened in disbelief when she saw Clint standing there, and a glimmer of something flickered within them, something akin to hope, but also akin to sorrow. Without a second thought, she started walking in your direction, coming faster and faster until she was running. 

When Natasha reached Clint, she threw her arms around him, pulling him into a long-awaited embrace. Tears pooled in her eyes, slowly streaming down her cheeks as she closed them. 

There was a little lightness in your heart as you saw them hug, some sort of knowing that she'd be ok even if you weren't around anymore. She wouldn't starve herself, she wouldn't push everyone away, she wouldn't shut down. She'd survive, and then she'd move on.

In that moment, as Natasha clung to Clint, her teary eyes slowly opened. There, through the blur of her emotions, she looked right at you. And the gratitude that radiated from her gaze was palpable, as if a thousand unspoken words were contained within that single look. 

Her hold on Clint loosened slightly as her eyes locked onto yours, lingering for a brief, intense moment. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you suspended in time as the weight of her gaze met yours.  It felt as if the universe held its very breath, waiting for the next chapter to unfold. 

You wished you could say you could feel her love through that gaze, but you didn't know if you could use that word to describe what Natasha felt for you. Maybe she regretted what she did; maybe you became her anchor, even if unbeknownst to you, and she felt like she needed you to function; maybe she felt like she owed you something for bringing Clint back. You didn't know what it was, but you couldn't shake the feeling that the word love would be the wrong one to describe her feelings for you. Gratitude, thankfulness, maybe, but not love.

You smiled a sad smile, and nodded your head in acknowledgment to the gratitude in her eyes. 

Natasha furrowed her brows and pulled away from Clint as she saw you walking away from her, but before she could come after you, Clint caught her hand and walked towards the opposite direction. He wanted a conversation in private.

You just knew he was going to tear her a new one for what she did to you. During your journey back he had apologized more times than you could count, his words still engraved in your mind.

"I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust," he had vowed, his voice filled with determination. "I'll prove to you day after day that I care, that I value our friendship above all else. What happened the other day… it'll never happen again, I promise you that. I was too absorbed in my own pain, so much so that I hurt you, but I would never do that intentionally, Y/N. You're like a sister to me, I'd never willingly hurt you. I love you too much for that."

Maybe his love was real, but you didn't have it in yourself to just forgive and forget.

Maybe one day the gods would deem you worthy of love. True love, not the kind that hurts you.

~

"A soul for a soul" the Redskull said, turning the vast expense of cosmic beauty before you into something bleak, final. "You must sacrifice that which you love."

Your eyes wandered, drinking in the breathtaking scenery, the towering cliffs and cascading waterfalls; it seemed like a paradise carved from dreams. 

But the words hanging in the air casted a somber shadow over the planet's beauty, and as you stood near its vibrant precipice, the weight of what had to be done pressed upon the three of you. 

Destiny had brought you here, demanding a sacrifice.

It was a curse and a blessing all at once.

"If we don't get that stone, billions of people stay dead," Natasha stated, her voice tinged with determination, almost as if she was trying to keep herself strong.

Of course she'd want to be sacrificed, the selfless fool that she was.

Clint's gaze met hers, his eyes filled with a mixture of conflict and resignation. "Then I guess we both know who it's got to be," he replied, the weight of his words hanging heavily in the air. They didn't spare a single glance your way, it was almost as if they had mutually decided that you were to live.

A subtle sadness washed over Natasha's features as she nodded in agreement. "I guess we do."

You closed your eyes. You had been wanting this for so long, you had craved the peace I'd bring, you had fantasized about it, about closing your eyes and never opening them again.

And yet… you found yourself wanting to cling to life with an unwavering grip.

As Clint and Natasha looked at each other, you found yourself wanting to greet Laura, Lila, Coop and Nate when they came back, you found yourself wanting to have a nice day out with Yelena. You found yourself wanting to embrace Wanda and never let her go.

It hurt to know you wouldn't be able to do any of that.

"I'm starting to think we mean different people here, Natasha." Clint said then, his voice wavering slightly.

For a moment, Natasha's gaze lingered on Clint, her eyes reflecting the depth of her conviction. "For the last five years, I've been trying to do one thing: get to right here," she confessed. "That's all it's been about. Bringing everybody back."

She looked at you then, her eyes brimming with tears "I was so focused on it that I drove away the one person I had promised myself never to hurt.",

You couldn't look her in the eye, you couldn't let her see your decision through your gaze.

Clint's shoulders seemed to sag, you could see the self-blame he felt right through his eyes, even if they were focused on Nat. "And that's why it gotta be me. You spent all this time trying to help what was left of the world. Me… you know what I've done. You know what I've become." He shook his head, his eyes turning to you as well "If you haven't gotten to me, I'd still be killing an untold number of people without a care for who it'd hurt."

"Well," you said, shrugging, trying to lighten the mood a little "I don't judge people on their worst mistakes." There was no point in holding grudges anymore.

"Neither do I." Natasha said, looking at him. Her eyes turned to you then, full of sadness, longing , and regret. "I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

You walked towards her and pulled her in by the hand, your forehead resting against hers.

"I love you, Nat. You've been forgiven since day one." You said.

Natasha's tears streamed down her cheeks as she buried her face in the crook of your neck.

You saw from the corner of your eye Clint taking a step back, as if to go to the cliff. You extended your hand to him as well. He stopped in his tracks and took a couple steps in your direction, taking your hand in his.

He smiled a sad smile, his eyes red. "Tell my family I love them" he said, and tried to pull his hand away, but you gripped it with all the strength you had.

"Tell them yourself," Natasha said, pulling away from you as well.

You sighed, your eyes burning with unshed tears. You didn't want to die anymore. You wanted to live.

But you couldn't let them sacrifice themselves.

You ripped the bracelet Tony made from your wrist. It clattered on the ground. Natasha and Clint's eyes widened, almost as if they hadn't even thought of the possibility of you being the one to jump.

You felt an unbearable heat rising up from inside out, your lungs burned, your chest, your torso, your whole body. 

"Y/N what the hell are you doing?!?" Natasha yelled out, trying to get to the bracelet on the floor, but the burning winds that seemed to suddenly emanate from you wouldn't let her get closer.

"Take care of each other. And of Wanda and Carol. That 's all I ask." You said, your voice no longer solely yours.

You saw a rising shadow on the ground, signaling the presence of wings on your back. Blood red wings engulfed in flames. The Phoenix's wings.

Clint was rooted to the ground, your power vicious enough to paralyze those of weaker minds.

Natasha, though? She was fighting to get to you, the winds clearly burning her skin, yet she didn't give up. You turned away from her, not wanting to see her struggle.

It was a short walk to the edge of the cliff, you didn't want to look back. If you said goodbye it'd make it feel more real. So you just jumped.

And then you felt her hand on your wrist, the searing heat making her skin burn, and yet, she didn't let go.

"No, please. Not you." She cried, and even with tear stained cheeks she was the most beautiful woman you've ever seen "I can't lose you like this. The world can't lose you. You're the only one of us that really deserves to live life to its full potential."

And then, as if her touch made your power purr in her presence, Clint broke free, running to where you were dangling and taking your other wrist in his hands.

This was hurting them, both physically and mentally, you saw the skin on their hands blistering, you saw the redness in their arms, the tears in their eyes not just from the pain.

"Let me go," you said with a sad smile. They had their families, they had their jobs, their missions; their homes. 

You had nothing, all you did was take up too much space or time. They deserved to live, even if you left them in ruins.

"It's not gonna work!" Natasha shouted in desperation, her expression one of pure anguish "I don't love you! It's not gonna work!"

You smiled sadly at her. She really didn't love you, did she? She just tolerated you.

"It 's ok, Natty. It'll work. You may not love me, but Clint does " you said, smiling at her through your own tears. 

"Y/N, please, don't do this," Clint begged too, sobbing as he held onto you with all his strength.

"It's ok," you repeated, and if it was to calm them or yourself , you didn't know, "it's gonna be ok".

You used whatever little control you had over your powers to push them away. As your body tumbled to the ground the last thing you remembered was the way Natasha used to laugh at your jokes, enjoy your food, take you out on dates. The last thing you remembered was how she used to love your presence, and not just tolerate it.

Maybe one day someone would be enough to have their love celebrated by her.

~

When Natasha and Clint woke up not much later in a galaxy colored lake, she clutched the stone that had appeared in her hands, wishing with all her might that it turned out different, that the last words she said to you weren't "I don't love you."

She loved you. Always did. Always would.

~

Wanda sat in front of your gravestone, her hair disheveled, her eyes red shot, her cheeks tear stained. She hugged her knees as she sobbed, longing for the presence of who could no longer be by her side. She had lost her parents, then Pietro, Vision, and now you.

She sobbed more and more, the pitiful sound getting louder.

She felt a hand on her shoulder then, and she looked up to see red shot brown eyes.

Carol sat beside her, taking her hand and squeezing it a little. 

She understood what Wanda was going through, she was grieving you as well, and even though Wanda and Vision were planning on starting a life together, the witch suspected the Captain wouldn't have said no if you'd asked the same thing from her. So she, too, lost her love, even if she never got the courage to confess it.

It was a hot day, the sunlight shone perpendicular through the clearing where your grave has been put, creating a magical scenery all around the place.

And yes, the day was hot, but was it supposed to be this hot? 

Wanda shook her head, her brows starting to sweat.

And then the sunlight vanished, as if something gigantic was blocking its path. She and Carol looked up, but all they could see were the trees blocking the sky from view.

The animalistic cry they heard didn't come from the trees, though.

Neither did the blood red feather falling through the leaves, its tip engulfed in fire.

Wanda and Carol looked at each other, and for the first time in weeks, they smiled.

Natasha Romanoff Taglist: @strangegardentaco, @madamevirgo, @Lovelyy-moonlight, @agent99galanzo, @red1culous