#Essy Update

[messedupessy]

Oh yeah I am now back as u guys prolly have seen pfft, ended up taking my break away from here longer than I had planned but was so very needed xD

But think I will still not be as active here as I once was, as surprise surprise been away from social media, any social media, is really good for me and I plan on keeping that up for my own good! So be prepared to only see me here time to time and not every single hour of the day like I used to!

Hope the rest of you are doing well though, feels good to be back and see what you all been up to! ❤

[crownedinmarigolds]

Another commission I loved doing! (Though to be fair I've loved all of them!) This is Asha Mariam who belongs to @essie-essex, your resident Regent! They told me "blue fire" and I wanted to go crazy with the lighting, I hope I've done her justice!! Thank you for commissioning me!

[essiemclaren]

WHO IS WATCHING THE RACE RIGHT NOW CAN SOMEONE WATCH IT FOR ME AND UPDATE ME PLS 😭🙏

[bigtreefest]

Work update: Tomorrow will be my first drug synthesis observation!!! They’re making Copper64!! I know you probs don’t know what that means, and neither do I, but we’ll find out together!! Call time is 5am😬🤭🫣

[ranboo5]

Anyway [stretches] under a cut because it got Long as usual; tl;dr at the bottom

The thing abt c!Ranboo is his motivation and his actions don’t always align and that is bc of the eternal nature of c!Ranboo as living in a society and Balancing Priorities. He is always self-compromising in its relationships w/ others; more often than not when it agrees to do smth with someone it is doing it not bc it believes in the cause but because it has priorities it needs to mitigate. (Ranboo has not believed in any of the causes put forth by Someone Else in their life the closest they get is the Syndicate and even there it’s only reassured to bc it is reassured it can share opinions)

This starts off wayyyy early with it agreeing to help grief despite not really having a personal reason to do it, and with it collaborating w/ New L’Manberg even through things like the Butcher Army. It consistently does not want to be seen as In Opposition. It works with Tmmy and Techno in large part bc it doesn’t want to come off as opposed 2 them, and bc it has personal investment (+guilt) in Tmmy. Ranboo will literally act like this

- as self preservation - out of a desire to help+spare the feelings of ppl it doesn’t trust to negotiate with - especially later, so it can try to mitigate the parties it’s collaborating w/ -- if he’s involved in the effort, he has more traction 2 attempt to mitigate anything terrible it might do (even when most of the time he doesn’t manage to do this)

This is part of why he initially joined th Syndicate and this is why he worked with Wilbur over th course of the burger arc. Some combination of this is also why he works w/ Dream, smth that is frequently overlooked in Ranboo Analysis; Ranboo volitionally[1] collaborates w/ Dream despite, obviously, having a lot of Active Dislike for Dream and what he is doing, out of a combination of a) he would not want 2 frame himself as Opposed To Dream in any interaction w/ Dream, b) he is generally sympathetic and pitying, c) ideological agreement w/ some aspects of Dream’s goals, and d) desire to mitigate/stay close to Dream. Ranboo keeps his friends close and enemies closer 2 some degree

His relationship w/ Tbbo is not an exception to this it is part of the pattern. It’s just one that has much more present, personal, and consistent stakes. Ranboo complies w/ Tbbo the same way he complies w/ the Syndicate when he’s worried they’re threatening, the same way he complies w/ NLM, the same way he complies w/ Wilbur in the burger arc, th same way he complies with Tmmy early on, the same way he complies w/ Dream offscreen. This is a Known Tactic Ranboo pursues; their project is ultimately of survival and compassion and survival and compassion are both things they have to sacrifice to keep

Tbbo is a unique priority to Ranboo almost in the same way all of the aforementioned r slightly different, unique priorities; in Tubbo’s case, Ranboo is extremely invested in keeping Tbbo safe from others and from Tbbo’s own self with a particular fervor for a very long time. I’m not rehashing the entire beeduo meta here but Ranboo does have particular interest and a particular prioritization for Tbbo for a long ass time; arguably post-NLM and thru burger arc, Tbbo is its first priority bc Ranboo loves him and has convinced itself it’s the only one who can fix him and has also mostly-correctly observed that no one has really been looking out for him. Tubbo is an urgent target in Ranboo’s projects of compassion and of survival both

When those stakes r released, tho, in the burger van conversation (the “you weren’t happy before?”) Ranboo no longer has Tbbo at the same priority level irt the project of survival especially, and, despite how guilty and upset it makes them, prioritizes their 5D chess game with Wilbur instead (ironically sacrificing a solid chunk of its project of survival). Its motives @ the end of Ho16 r commonly cited as being abt Tbbo but that’s not entirely what he says and if it was Ranboo HAS the kind of analytical presence of mind to know that it Killing Himself doesn’t help Tbbo as much as it deals with Wilbur

Ho16 is abt Ranboo winning aforesaid 5D chess game; Tbbo is only part of the stakes 4 that and Mitigating Tbbo is no longer Ranboo’s top priority w/ that. Ranboo’s final monologue is more than anything reminiscent of his earlier arguments about sides and collateral. It’s part of the larger project of compassion, and it’s about the distorted version thereof tht comes with Ranboo getting stuck in its head and its machinations, too; like Tbbo is important to Ranboo and the carelessness abt Tbbo is something unacceptable but to claim Ranboo’s motivations revolve around Tubbo specifically is reductive of his other relationships and actual larger ideological motivations 

I have a problem w/ framings of this as positive/romantic devotion that amkes Ranboo better or as devotion at all bc repeatedly it is shown it makes him Worse, and is in fact the opposite of devotion it's disingenuous by nature. Ranboo is lying. This is so essential to all of this when Ranboo acts like he is in step with you specifically he is lying you are never guaranteed to be the priority. This is him at his worst, th project of compassion at its most compromised, and it’s a state that they explicitly don’t like. Ranboo does not like compromising itself and when they do that they Get Hurt (NLM and outpost arc having the most confabulation we’ve seen in Ranboo in general, Ranboo hating himself for this, Ranboo complying w/ shit like the experiments, Ranboo in all these environments where he is playing this being Constantly Markedly Afraid)

Even throughout the time period where Tbbo is technically priority #1 Tbbo is still . Priority Number One as opposed to like a genuine devotion. Tbbo having a handle on Ranboo in this way is not devotion it is fear and it is again not a mechanism tht Ranboo Only engages for Tbbo it’s just a mechanism, that again IS BAD FOR RANBOO BOTH IRT MENTAL HEALTH AND MORALITY, that has thru circumstance become one tht Tbbo is best at unintentionally activating. Ranboo Does This When You Are His Project. And When He Had A New Project Aside From His Husband That’s What He Did To Him

TL;DR

Ranboo does comply with Tubbo in various activities tht he doesn’t believe in but this isn’t ? Unique to Tbbo this is just Ranboo’s general socialmeta+ what allows it to move in the world the way it does

Ranboo cares about Tubbo deeply and this is relevant to his motivations but that’s only one part of his larger motivations

It’s also honestly not great to frame this complianceas romantic or good bc it’s actively smth that Makes Them Worse in multiple senses

It takes out a ton of Ranboo’s decision making and the negative effects thereof

Anyway stream

[1] No, one dumb as fuck line from Dream Of All People in that lame ass excuse for a finale does not negate All The Things In CRanboo’s Story including working w Dream being part of this consistent pattern, Ranboo’s story being abt agency responsibility and decision in such a way tht it is completely undercut by mind ctrl plots, Ranboo’s ideological agreement w Dream on some matters, the alliumduo parallels, and everything we do know abt the enderwalk as a concept and Ranboo how he acts in and out of it

[moremysteriesthantragedies]

Infernal Serenade Book 2 Is Complete

Guess what? The second book of Infernal Serenade is finally complete, I almost can't believe it! It's been a long road with everything going on in my life as of late, but, we made it, and I couldn't be more proud of us!

Here's my favorite part of the final action scenes I wrote from Quince's POV, tw for a whip and injury:

I reached for the whip and grasped onto it, blood streaming down my hands as I spun it around and around. The creature on the other end went flying, and, when I released it, they were sent directly into the waterfall. They were forced to just crumble down it as the water levels had risen and become much more…turbulent.

To celebrate, as per usual, I'll be opening up my inbox for questions about Infernal Serenade. To make it easier, here's a list of the most important characters. All questions are welcome, even silly questions like "which demon is the hottest though?" lol.

Main Characters

Quince

Bradi

Nicky

William

Desiderius

Coco (the pet dog we all love)

Demons

Desiderius (lust)

Glorfais (pride)

Inaestri (wrath)

Avariticu (greed)

Esuriet (gluttony)

Zelypt (envy)

Lassefi (sloth)

Other Beings

The Wisdom Creature

Delta

The Waiter

The Reaper

Tag list: @caxycreations, @perasperaadastrawriting, @profoundlyhauntedclaws, @verba-writing

[canyoncurl]

hii loveliest, was just thinking of you and opened tumblr and there you were with your lil harry post! (choosing to believe i manifested it because maybe magic is a little real 😌✨) anyways, just sending love your way 🤍☀️ and hoping you have some deep, rejuvenating, brain-fry-reversing rest in your very near future 💫💖

(of course, no need to answer this unless you want to 🥰)

little kiss, hello!! 👋✨ you have an awfully good knack for sending love in somebody’s direction when they need it most. i was feeling rather grinch-ish the other day and when i opened the app and saw this waiting for me, my heart turned to certified mush™️. if magic is real, which it is, you’re harbouring enough to be considered a wizard! 🪄💫 i am currently sat in a bubble bath with the window propped open and the rain spilling in. the world feels a lot less molten hot than it did prior, sooo i think this is classified as brain-fry-reversing rest!🕯🕊 i hope you’ve also found an alcove of peace at some point this week! sending love to you, the kitty and all those lucky enough to share your space !!! 🐈🤍

[essievx]

hello october: a life update

i moved into a bigger place a couple of weeks ago. it's been a wild journey with my partner and the new place still takes a lot of getting used to, with all the HOA rules and whatnot. a price to pay for better living conditions, i guess.

i also got my toenails viciously ripped out. they've been bothering me since last year and i have been putting it off (as is with all of my necessary medical appointments) the same length of time, thinking it's something that will fix itself someday. spoiler alert: it did not fix itself, it just got worse. i have to wonder though, if fully removing the nail was the only solution to the issue. it felt surreal, and a lot of times i felt like i was being punished for something. it was like karmic retribution, but undeserved, and excessive.

emotionally, i have been getting better. did stopping the pill help with that? it feels strange, like i am still myself right now, and the me who used to take pills was also me, but i like myself better this way. it's crazy what altering hormones do to you.

it's a quarter to 6 am and i have to see the doctor today for a follow-up, so i don't think it's wise for me to be here at the moment. right now though, i am happy.

things i need to do soon:

check my finances and start planning how i will be furnishing the new home further. my partner and i are not seeing eye-to-eye on what we should buy first. he wants to buy a bookshelf and something to put the tv on because he misses using it (it's currently just collecting dust in a corner), i want to buy a sofa and another air conditioning unit. i know mine are more expensive, but sometimes it gets really hot or humid in the room and it's hard for me to fall asleep. just like today, and that's why i am here.

resume my language studies (i was committed for like, 1.5 weeks and had to stop because we were in the process of moving out, and i have not gotten back to it since. i am very much regretful and ashamed of myself, but i am also so drained because of this surgery and the stress at work. anyway, lots of excuses.)

maybe look into getting a side hustle for extra income. not sure if i can physically/mentally handle the extra load especially when i have very much decided that i'm a 9-6 kind of person, but i have a lifestyle to feed.

[nicksbestie]

Can you do a headcanon about Caregiver!Matt also I love your work you eat everytime. I always get happy for updates :D

m.s. - caregiver (headcanons)

! all sfw !

~ matt never hesitated to show you love and support when you told him about your regression

~ he's the softest caregiver, always ready for cuddles whenever you need them

~ he has a seemingly endless amount of patience, never once losing his temper or even seeming frustrated, regardless of how you were behaving

~ if you're having a difficult day, maybe having a small tantrum, he's kind, gentle, and gives you space to calm down while softly reminding you that throwing/hitting/screaming isn't okay behavior

~ he never punishes his little(s). he just can't do it

~ he's a sucker for puppy eyes. if you ask for something with puppy eyes and a soft "please?" you're getting it

~ as attached as you are to him, he's just as attached to you. when nick or chris babysit, he misses you like crazy

~ you two always go on late night runs for snacks when you can't sleep, and it doesn't help you sleep, but at least you're both having fun

~ he's always down for a day at the park, and is always more than happy to push you on the swings

~ as soft as he is, he never hesitates to defend you if anybody feels they're entitled to making comments about you

taglist <3

@bratzforchris @rafecameronsbitch @jessie-essie @chrislover444 @alastor-konig-kakashi-shoutasimp @mattsfavbigtitties @shadowthesim

a/n : thank you guys so much for all of the kind words and the support <3 it means the world to me!

[shadowyhideoutpeace]

Marvel Fics

(updated 09/08/24)

Loki Laufeyson

Fluff

What He Doesn't Know Won't Hurt Him

SECRETS

Magic show

Combat Training

A fool with a bullet wound

Series

FROM THE VOID, WITH LOVE

Smut

Loki Laufeyson Masterlist

Masterlists

Thor Odinson

Fluff

Carolina Reaper

Imagine Thor doesn’t think he can get drunk

Idunn's Apples

A Royal Pregnancy

You Have To Learn

Angst

Smut

Guardian!reader and Thor

fertility god

keep burning

Mornings

Masterlists

Masterlist CharnelHouse

Matt Murdock

Smut

Deprivation

Wicked Games

Masterlists

fettuccin-e

Peter Parker (TASM & Tom)

Fluff

baby spider

Flirty bully coming your way

Masterlists

fettuccin-e

Namor/ KuKulkan

Fluff

The Unexpected- The Proposal | Explanations and Surprise Visits

Sweet like mango

Baby, all at once, this is enough

THE KING'S PROPOSAL

Angst

…Story Imagine…

The Depths You’ll Go

Delayed Fate

Smut

con la brisa

oneshot

Namor x Reader!waterbender/powers

Series

Unfulfilled

Child without love

The Stranger

Mi Amor

doctor

Peter/Pietro Maximoff

Fluff

Taking a Bubble Bath with Peter Maximoff

SMUT

Use Me

Masterlist

essie’s masterlist

Druig

Fluff

For Eternity ❦

A fic where the eternals don't know you're a thing with Druig

For You? I Do

Eros Flirts with the Wrong Eternal

sunshine & kisses

Disbelief

Troublemaker

Smut

“‘No’? You’re such a bad liar.”

𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠, 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞

Angst

unrequited love

Masterlists

Druig ~ Masterlist

[messedupessy]

THIS A DAY OF CELEBRATION!! 🥳🎉❤

Because today ya all, I am celebrating getting better! Way better than I have been doing for a very long time, I have started therapy, have gotten outside way more, and so many other things that has just made me happier and healthier in every possible way, and it’s all worth celebrating! So I got some cake yesterday to eat today, not a full cake since sadly they were out so just some cake slices, but its all good anyway! ❤

Hope ya all be doing good too!

[dragon-subway]

[RAISES HAND] CRYPT FOR THE ASK GAME MAY I SEE ESSIES UPDATED REF? HER DESIGN IS SO COOL

I wanted an excuse to properly display, explain and update some design aspects. Might have a more civilian style outfit too in her classic colours

wip ask game is here!

[essiemclaren]

u good?

I KNEW IT you'd miss me 😩 im currently in bed, trying to get better because im sick 😞💔 this is how i look rn

[steviebbboi]

Mel!! From this text post you reblogged, I’m wondering what you think about #6 and #23 for Biker!Ari? 🫣

Essie!!~ omg why are you, like, in me drafts for Old Bonds, New Beginnings part 2 👀

Without giving too much away about P.2…

#6. What will your character do if they’re being threatened?

Biker!Ari would instantly go into ‘judge, jury, executioner’ mode where he would assess the situation for what it was – and he would be so secure in whatever decision that he would have to make at that moment!

I do think Ari is very weathered in his role as the leader of Red Sea Roaders MC. He’s not blind to both explicit and implicit threats made against him, and is not as worried about himself when these threats are made against him.

BUT, if threats were made against him by exploiting the people that he loves 👀, you bet your ass that he’ll act up. Even in those moments, he’s seen and done many things at this point that will have him be confident in both protecting and retaliating (however, he might see fit).

#23. What will your character do when they have to hold someone they loved at a gun point? Why would it even occur?

Biker!Ari would honestly never do this (he’s more of a fierce and loyal protector more than anything, even as a club leader).

Realistically speaking, even if he was in a situation that had him point danger at someone that he loved, it wouldn’t be so direct, I think.

Everyone in the club is loyal to Ari given that most of them are also locals or within the community around the town.

Ari is the kind of person and leader that even if a loved one really just straight up betrayed him, he would take the time to assess the facts and always be curious.

I think Ari is really respectful and mindful of the people that he does surround himself with – if someone does something out of turn, there has to be a very good reason for it and Ari wouldn’t just resort to petty violence for the sake of image or for the sake of just being violent.

Though, I could see how if Reader/another loved one was threatened, or an Aggressor somehow forced Ari to threaten the Reader/another loved one intentionally in order to to force him into a difficult position, I could see Ari being super strategic about how to abide by that threat in order to buy time.

Inevitably, the other person holding the Reader/another loved one by gunpoint, or any sense of threat, I can imagine Ari to be so confident in how to dissuade the aggressor enough to strike first.

If Ari ever did point a gun at Reader/another loved one, he would ensure that his real aim is set and true on the aggressor, not you (he’s good like that 😉). 

Ari's learned vigilance may put him in situations that make him angry, frustrated, etc., but hes giving Cap. energy -- he's always a man with a plan.

Thank you for sending in this ask, friend <3

Join My Tag List!

****if you wanna be notified on my work (and next updates)!

Tag List: @patzammit @inlovewithfictionalcharacters @mercurial-chuckles

[moremysteriesthantragedies]

Got chapter 41 of Infernal Serenade finished after a long hiatus and managed to chip away a little at the next chapter/move things around accordingly. Super happy I managed, life is a bit difficult now so updates will be slow, but just know I am chipping away at it in the background.

Plus the second book is close to completion, so I am more concerned about getting some of my shorter WIPs off the ground, for the time being.

Tag list: @perasperaadastrawriting, @caxycreations, @profoundlyhauntedclaws (let me know if anyone wants to be added to the tag list!)

[kentonanamisupremacy]

mission: find a Sukuna color nail polish

(they look a little cooler normally but I also like the warm tone during the fire attacks)

options I found at ULTA--

-OPI infinite shine 2 in Turn on the Northern Lights

-Zoya nail lacquer in Anaka

-essie Expressie in Mic Drop-It-Low

UPDATE:

Here are a few drugstore options as well!

-L.A. Colors in Euphoric, Dare Devil, and Blast

-Sally Hansen miracle gel in Vamplified, Hunger Flames, and Purplexed