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Do you like my art? Do you wish I would draw something specific? Great news!
~COMMISSIONS ARE NOW OPEN!~
If you are interested in commissioning me, please fill out the google form and I'll reach out to you as slots become available!
[Ko-fi - Google Form Link]
#Commission info#PLEASE NOTE ONCE AGAIN: These prices are not USD - these are cheaper than you may think.#I have put a ton of work into this and I am so thankful to everyone who helped me out!#There are still probably bumps I need to iron out as I go but I will try my best. Feedback is very welcome!#If there are a lot of people interested I may have a waitlist but I doubt I'll have that many offers. I'm still pretty new here!#The money I make from this is honestly mostly going to go back into funding this art hobby of mine. Ink is expensive!#Thank you also for all the love and support for my comics. Without it I'd never have the confidence to do commissions.#Even if you can't afford it right now - know I really appreciate it all. From the lurker to the frequent commenter: thank you <3#Don't worry about the horse by the way. She's just here to keep watch.
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I was just beaten, stabbed, and shot all in just the matter of a few days, each day a different incident or attack by an individual in my family and outside of my family by ppl around me, I had to get several stitches in my legs, arms, hands and even some in my face after being jumped and beaten and stabbed, I had a bullet pulled out my leg and my side, I was shot 8 times, 4 times in the legs and 2 times in my right lower abdomen and another 2 times in my left lower abdomen, I been in and out of the hospital including the mental hospital for suicide attempts as well as being harmed by transphobic ppl, I've been struggling paying for costs of a vet visit after my kitten was killed by my moms dog after she had her dog kill her, I've been raped, molested and abused by my family and ppl in my schools and neighborhood and I just get tired of being in this same situation surrounded by poverty, I live in a neighborhood where I'm constantly threatened for being a black trans woman and I have NO ONE TO TURN TO, I've tried getting help finding a new job but it's harder after constantly being fired for molestation at work and sexual harassment and constant work abuse I've been thru whether it was employees or managers targeting me with harassment and bullying within the workplace and it's been hard in general trying to get help with financial situations, paying for medical bills and get med assistance from the government and the city as well as mental health help for therapists, psychiatric help, and safe space havens or shelters, I've also been from mental health facility shelter to homeless shelters and been harassed, abused, raped and molested in EVERY SINGLE ONE, i am currently living in a rundown home surrounded by poverty and bad conditions, rusted bursted pipes, i have no plumbing, no water, no way to get anything to drink, to clean stuff with, i dont have water for dishes to be cleaned, laundry to be washed, or to bathe or shower in or to take a piss or shit in either and there are several dead cats in my basement as well as raccoons from all the holes in the walls, I had to freeze in the winter and was trying to get help from the city with some government assistance and I'VE YET TO GET ANY HELP, ANY THERAPISTS FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH I'M STILL ON A QUEUE, I HAVE NO HELP FOR MENTAL HEALTH MEDS, OR PSYCHIATRIC HELP, I can't seem to afford to get help with much even after succeeding my Gofundme goal because I had to use most of that money for food for me and my cats and keep cleaning products to get my home clean WHICH IS STILL A MESS. so what i need anyone to do for me if yall POSSIBLY CAN, is reblog this as much as you can and please share my links to donation help with pet food, water, meds, med help, mental health help, finding an apartment, getting a bed or mattress, and any daily needs and necessities IF YALL CAN.
My goal is to get at least $2500 to $3000, I know it's alot but rn I need as much as I can possibly get, yall can send anything, nothing is too small it's ALL APPRECIATED. IF PPL CAN SEND AT LEAST 25 OR 30$ EACH IT WOULD HELP OUT SO MUCH, BUT AGAIN ANY AMOUNT IS APPRECIATED. THIS is REALLY IMPORTANT!!....I'M TRYING MY BEST TO SURVIVE RIGHT NOW!
Cashapp: $Slasherstan91
Venmo: Negrophiliac (I know the name's wild 😭)
Chime: $MarsRayL
Paypal: paypal.me/MarsRayL
#black tumblr#black trans women#black lgbtq#mutual aid#black lives matter#black mental health#black women#please help#donation post#please donate#extremely urgent#need help#please reblog
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hi sie!! i'm happy to see that your requests are open and would like to request something myself c: 1. seonghwa 2. roommate au 3. prompts 11 and 17 4. with spice please 🙏 thanks so much! i rly appreciate you and your writing even if you can't get to this 💕
I hope you like this!!! really enjoyed writing this one :)
— sleep-talker || p.sh (m.)
“You know you sleep talk?”
“Stop looking at me like that.
🌊pairing ⇢ (fem) reader x roommate! Seonghwa
🌊 summary ⇢ when you and your friends decide on a trip to the beach for spring break, you get stuck rooming with the man you "hate" the most. The line between love and hate is as thin as ice, and you were about to break it.
🌊 genre/au ⇢ roommates au, vacation au, one bed trope, forced proximity au, smut
🌊 warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ minors DNI, wet dreams, fingering, rough sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, PDA, "enemies" to lovers, one-bed trope, teasing, jealousy, intense tension like holy hell
🌊 word count ⇢ 10.2k words
🌊 taglist ⇢ @jjhmk @yesv01 @roe-sinning @meowmeowminnie @yeritheloml @yukine-smx @y00nzin0 @8tinytings @halesandy @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @wooyoungjpg @lonewolfjinji @asjkdk @charreddonuts (please let me know if I forgot you!)
masterlist
ateez masterlist
“Are you for real right now?”
Spring break. A time for rest, relaxation, and lots and lots of sex.
And now, your plans of being a whore for the vacation were ruined.
“Yes, y/n. I can't afford another room just for you to have to yourself,” Hongjoong, your older brother, mumbled as he stuffed the last bit of clothes into his luggage. “You’ll have to room with Seonghwa. San and Wooyoung already called each other.”
He zipped up his suitcase and stood up to leave, but he couldn't get off that easily. “Please, Joong. I’ll do anything. Cant I just room with you and Mingi?” he hastily made his way out of his room and into the living room, trying his hardest to get away from you. “I’ll sleep on the floor. No blanket, just the floor. Please.”
He turned to face you, a confused expression on his face. “Why are you so adamant about not staying with Hwa? What did he ever do to you?” he asked you, genuinely curious. The truth is, he did nothing to you personally. Maybe that was why you hated him, because god, if he gave you the time of day, you would pounce on him like a cat in heat.
You groaned, running a hand through your messy, unwashed hair. “Because he’s a dumb ass jerk that gets everything he wants.”
Hongjoong laughed at you and turned away. “It's only a week, y/n. He’ll probably spend most of his time in our room, anyway. Just bring a book to read or something to distract yourself.”
As if reading is the thing you'll be focused on if you were in a room with him. Oh Nah, you'll be wishing he’d walk around shirtless and hoping he somehow takes a shower and walks out with nothing on—
“I hope you're packed and ready….” Joong trailed off as he looked at your messy exterior, and stifled a laugh. “And if you're thinking of getting laid, you might want to shower.”
You slapped him on the shoulder, having no drive to shower. You'll get one when you get there. It's not like you were that stinky.
“Shut up, dickhead.”
You stood on the sidewalk of your apartment building, Hongjoong’s little yellow Geo Tracker sitting there lookin’ all cute. However, the tiny thing only had five seats.
There were six of you.
“Welp looks like I can't go! What a shame, what a shame,” you sarcastically yelled out, tossing your hands in the air exasperatedly. “Have fun without me!”
“Shut your mouth, will you?” Hongjoong groaned, tossing your luggage into the “trunk” or whatever it was. “It's only a ride to the airport. You can sit on someone’s lap for ten minutes.”
You crossed your arms over your chest. “Why am I the one that has to do that? Wooyoung is like the size of my arm. He can do it.”
Joong shut the trunk with force at your comment, totally disregarding you. “Hop in,” he said. “Enjoy shotgun while you have the chance.”
You got in reluctantly, even though you were very excited about the beach itself. Your excitement was short-lived as you approached the devil’s lair.
“Stay here, I’ll go help them,” Hongjoong mumbled, pushing his sunglasses up on his forehead as he put the car in park.
You nodded, your arms crossed over your chest. You didn't mind the rest of the group— San and Wooyoung always knew how to make you laugh, and Mingi was absolutely eye candy. You wouldn't mind sitting on his lap on the way to the airport.
Just as you got comfortable with your head resting against the window, the door abruptly opened, causing you to nearly fall out of the vehicle. “For fuck’s sake, who the hell—” your words got caught in your throat as you met eyes with Park fucking Seonghwa. “Oh, it's you…”
He stood there, his thin torso draped in a sheer white top and his long, lean legs covered in a pair of black pants. You swallowed your drool like a schoolgirl, making sure he never knows how you think of him.
“What?” you raised your eyebrow, not moving an inch and not even reaching to unplug your seatbelt. “This seat’s taken, buddy.”
He snickered, his lips mockingly curled up in a sneer. “Oh, aren't you a sweetheart? Now move, I called shotgun.”
“Well, I did first.”
“No, you didn't.”
“Yes, I did.”
“No.”
“Yes—”
“Neither of you are getting shotgun,” your brother laughed from behind Seonghwa, San and Wooyoung giggling like the goofs they are next to him. You still didn't move, even as Joong approached and unbuckled your seatbelt for you. “Y/N, please help me out here.”
You debated on throwing a fit, but knowing that it would just cause more problems, you sighed and pushed yourself out of the front seat. Now standing on the curb of the sidewalk right in front of Seonghwa, you tilted your head up to look him in the eyes. His gaze was intense—it made you envision what it would be like in bed, looking down at him from above, and how his eyebrows would knit together in pleasure. God, you needed to get laid this vacation, or you were going to be suffering from delusions.
Without warning, Mingi pushed through both of you, interrupting your staring contest.
“We better go, I don't want to listen to their bickering any longer,” the tall boy huffed as he plopped himself in the front seat, a proud smile resting on his lips.
San sat in the backseat on the right, Wooyoung next to him in the middle. That left either you or seonghwa to fight to the death for that last seat, but you knew how this was going to end.
And it wasn't going to end well.
—
“You comfortable, y/n?” your brother called from the driver’s seat, looking back at you through the rearview mirror.
You frowned so deeply you could've sworn your face was permanently stuck like that.
There you were, in the back of the car, in the most uncomfortable seat ever. Seonghwa groaned underneath you, his bony body not offering you any wiggle room. You didn't answer your brother, you were certain your expression was enough of a response.
You adjusted yourself on Seonghwa’s lap, looking out the window for any distraction. As you moved, you felt him move his hips, and you had to shut away your filthy thoughts about him as soon as they came. Between his movements and his groans, your stomach was knotting in something more than butterflies.
The car was filled with conversation, however, you and Seonghwa remained quiet and in your own little worlds. As the others bantered, you pushed yourself up further on his lap, grimacing as you heard him let out a grunt in your ear.
And then when his hands gripped onto your bare thighs, you were the one to gasp.
“Stop moving,” he whispered in your ear with haste, almost like a sneer. You kept your vision forward as his breath danced in your ear. “It hurts.”
You swallowed hard. “Oh? Is your little dick that sensitive?” you whispered back, smirking. You moved again, this time on purpose, feeling his bulge through his pants. You kept your cool, ignoring his shaky breaths from behind you. “Are you that happy to see me, Hwa?”
“Shut your mouth or you won’t see the sunrise,” he hissed, but his voice was weak.
The ten-minute ride felt like an eternity as he breathed underneath you, your mind constantly thinking about how hard he was getting underneath you and how sweet it would be to turn around and face him to see his reaction to you.
You looked to your right, seeing Wooyoung with a knowing smile on his face. “What?” you asked him, raising an eyebrow.
He shrugged, grinning. “Nothing, nothing,” he said, letting out a giggle. “Just that you both seem…cozy.”
You slapped him on the shoulder, your movements causing Seonghwa to wiggle underneath you.
“Dammit, Y/N I told you to stop moving,” he seethed, his grip on your thigh tightening. Hongjoong looked back through the mirror, worry in his expression.
“Everything okay?” he asked, meeting your eyes before focusing on the road once again. “We’re almost there, only about a minute or two.”
“Ten-minute ride my ass,” you mumbled, and as you entered the Airport, you should've known that there were going to be speed bumps on the way in….
The shitty old car hopped over the bump, feeling like it hit a huge boulder. You bounced up, not held by any seatbelt, landing hard, right on Seonghwa’s family jewels.
“Fuck,” he cried, tossing his head back against the headrest. Your hands were now holding onto his legs for dear life.
“Joong, will you slow down for those things? Some of us are suffering back here,” you said, to which seonghwa started laughing.
“You're telling me.” he scoffed.
“Okay okay, I just have to park. I have no idea how this works….where the hell is the long-term parking—”
“Probably over there,” Mingi pointed in the opposite direction.
“No, no, I think it’s—”
“I can't take this anymore!” you cried out, leaning forward to assist Hongjoong since Mingi isn't helping. “There's a huge sign in front of us. How can you miss that? It spells it out, dammit.” you huffed, throwing yourself back into your “seat.” This time, he didn't let out a single groan, probably just as fed up with you as you were with him.
Finally, Hongjoong found the lot and parked the car, and as soon as it was stationary, you tossed yourself out of the vehicle like there was no tomorrow. You knew that you couldn't last a minute more on his lap, because if you did, you would be so tempted to turn around and make out with those painfully pretty lips of his. God, he made you so mad. Ever since you met him, there were only the same thoughts circulating round and round.
Dirty thoughts.
Seonghwa crawled out of the car like a decrepit old spider, his long legs holding up his body with grace. You bit your lip, looking down at where you were sitting on him. Quickly, you looked away as he noticed your gaze, and ran away to go help the others with the luggage.
You weren't quick enough to miss the achingly attractive smirk on Seonghwa’s face.
Why did he have to be so….. libidinous? He was like a wild animal, able to take the lives away of his prey with just an expression.
No more seonghwa on the brain—it was beach time. You were certain you could find someone at a bar to sleep with later, and it wouldn't be Hwa.
Not now, not ever.
—
You got lucky with the plane ride.
Your seat buddy was Mingi, and Hongjoong knew how much you like your window seats.
Mingi nearly slept the whole flight, his head rested against your shoulder. He snored a little, but it didn't matter. The gentle giant had a place in your heart, so he could do no wrong.
You often stole glances at Seonghwa across the aisle, his head bobbing up and down as he fought his tiredness. He was so much more likable when he was sleeping, but that was definitely due to the fact that he couldn't stare at you with those entrancing eyes or run that mouth of his.
You were the only one awake by the end of the flight. It was difficult for you to sleep in public places. It didn't feel right. So you would fight off sleep as hard as you could and distract yourself with anything around you.
After the fiasco of leaving the plane, you anxiously trailed behind Hongjoong through the busy airport, pushing past loads of people who had places to be. Thank goodness you were able to leave the airport without a fuss, even if seonghwa was nearly breathing down your neck as you exited.
Luckily, the ride to the hotel wasn't far—and there were more than enough seats for all of you. You distanced yourself from Seonghwa, ignoring his hellish gaze.
The hotel you were staying at stood tall, facing the gorgeous blue ocean for a perfect view. You shut your eyes as you took everything in, smelling the saltiness and the warmth of the air. You smiled to yourself, but your delightful moment didn't last long.
Seonghwa bumped into you purposely, digging his shoulder into yours before walking past you toward the hotel entrance. “Hey, what was that for?” you growled, a scowl on your face.
“You were in the way,” is all he said, not even bothering to turn to face you as he spoke. He continued walking, his beautiful silhouette showing through his sheer shirt. Oh, you wanted to tear it off of him so badly.
You let out a huff of air, but then followed your friends into the building, knowing the end was near if you had to share the room with your snack of choice.
Hongjoong went up to the front desk as you and the boys stood near the doorway, waiting for him to check us in. It didn't take him long, and soon enough, he was walking back over, key cards in his hand, and a bright smile on his face. “All checked in! This’ll be our home for the next week.”
San grabbed his key card first. “Are we all on the same floor? Like in a row? It would be no fun if I had to actually put on clothes to go on the elevator.”
“Yes, San, we’re all on the same floor.” Hongjoong held in his laugh, already clearly enjoying his time away from reality. You stood angrily with your arms across your chest next to seonghwa, who didn't look any happier than you. “And will you two brighten up? You’re killing the vibe.”
You rolled your eyes, glancing up at the boy next to you. His dark hair was slightly frizzy from the humidity, sticking to his forehead like it would if he were sweating. You gulped, thinking dirty thoughts once more before regaining your peace of mind. “I’m not doing anything. It’s all him.”
“No, it’s all you, not me.” he retaliated.
“You’re the one that got a hard-on from me just innocently sitting on your lap.”
“You were purposely shoving your ass on me like a freak—”
“You are ruining the vacation already—”
“Annnd we’re not doing this again,” Mingi sighed and then gripped onto your arm to pull you towards the elevator.
“Let’s go, we got bars to get wrecked at.”
—
“Oh, hell no.”
You dropped your luggage as you entered your room for the week, staring at what was in it.
Or lack thereof.
One bed—a queen, maybe, sat in the middle of the room. A chair was tilted by the sliding glass doors that opened to the balcony, and a lamp stood in the corner. It was cute, of course, but you thought this couldn't get any worse.
Seonghwa walked past you into the room, setting his suitcase on the floor by the chair. “Don't worry,” he hummed, his voice low. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“I–” you paused, taking in a breath before continuing. “You can sleep on the bed, I ain't that mean.”
“So you think I’m going to let my best friend’s sister sleep on the floor?” he laughed, but it wasn't out of humor. “That’s funny. I’d get my ass beat.” He sat down on the floor, stretching out his long legs before opening his suitcase. “Just forget about me like you usually do and take the bed.”
You had no snarky remarks to throw at him this time, your eyelids feeling heavier than ever. You sighed, sitting down on the bed with a thud. “Okay, fine. Wake me up when we are going to leave.”
“Yeah yeah,” he snarkily replied, too focused on his luggage in front of him. You shut your eyes slowly, holding on to your consciousness a little longer, before drifting off into a sleep that would cause an unexpected uproar a few hours later.
—
After your amazing nap, you and the boys found your way to a beach bar, sand filling the floor and loud music playing in the background. You took your rightful spot at the bar, sitting right next to Wooyoung, who was already chugging a fruity margarita.
“You should try this, Y/N,” he let out a satisfied sigh after he finished his gulp. “Tastes like fucking unicorns and rainbows.”
You laughed. “Sounds divine, but I’ll pass and get my whiskey sour.”
He grimaced. “Ew, you should spruce it up a little bit sometimes.”
San sat down on the other side of him, a fancy glass in his hands as well. “Yeah, you’re kind of a bore.”
“San what the—”
“She is, isn't she?” Seonghwa hummed from behind you, and of course, sat his ass in the chair right next to you. You groaned, ignoring him once again, although it was quite hard to not drool as he gulped his beer, his throat bobbing as he drank it.
Fucking hell.
You looked around for any sign of your brother to save you, and once you saw him, you cringed, turning right back around to face the bar. “Dear god, can't he keep his dick in his pants for five minutes?” you shivered, trying to think of anything else other than your brother making out with a random person.
Seonghwa looked back, a smirk on his face as you ordered your drink. “Hypocrite. Just last week I walked in on you with Mingi in the chem lab,” he snickered, his midnight eyes catching the neon lights behind the bar. “Your tongue was so far down his throat I swear I—”
“Says the guy who I caught watching porn freshman year in the computer lab—”
“Here’s your Whiskey sour,” the bartender awkwardly interrupted, but thank god he did. You quickly chugged it, finishing it within a minute of getting it. He gave you another right away, and you downed that one as quickly as it came. He was cute, a little on the scruffy side, but definitely a good one-night. You gave him a look, feeling accomplished as he smirked a little before serving someone else.
“Maybe you shouldn't drink so fast, y/n,” San murmured from Wooyoung’s side, his strong arms holding his weight against the table. “You get drunk really quick on an empty stomach. Remember what happened last time? You have a bad habit of trying to kiss everything you see.”
You furrowed your eyebrows, setting the empty glass down on the bar. As you did that, you felt the warmth of the alcohol fill your body. “What? Who did I kiss?”
Seonghwa laughed from the other side of you while you focused on San.
“Me.” San blinked. “Tongue and all. But not just me, you kissed the statue outside our campus. You know, that really rusty one?”
You gagged. “Ew, no. stop. No, I didn't.”
“Oh, yes you did,” Seongwha piped in, sipping on his third or fourth beer. “And then you threw up on my shoes when I brought you home.”
You let out an exaggerated sigh of relief, taking his beer right out of his hands. “Phew, thank god I didn't kiss you,” you shivered, bringing the bottle up to your lips. After you started chugging it a little bit, Hwa ripped the bottle away from you.
You felt your vision start to sway from the alcohol. You loved the feeling of being drunk—just hated the hangovers. Right now though, you wanted to get wasted and go home with a stranger. The hangover will be tomorrow’s problem.
But seonghwa had to just run his mouth once again.
“You know you talk in your sleep, right?” He laughed, a full, humorous laugh. He tossed the bottle to the back of his throat and then continued to laugh at you. “Something about how awful the airplane food was and how drinking milk reminds you of cum.” he grimaced at the last part, but a playful smile still rested on his face. “God you are explicit.”
Your cheeks flushed, looking anywhere but his direction. “I do not sleeptalk.”
You looked to Wooyoung and San for help, but they looked dumbfounded. “I wouldn't know, y/n, I never slept with you,” San smirked, smiling deviously at you. “Unless you’re down with that, I’m all for hearing you sleeptalk in my ear all night.”
“Yeah, me too,” Woo played along, knowing he was just doing it to tease you. Seonghwa, on the other hand, was trying desperately to embarrass you in front of the hot bartender.
“God, it’s so annoying, I wanted to rip my hair out earlier,” he smiled devilishly, his teeth even brighter than normal under all the neon lights. “I thought I couldn't hate you more, but you proved me wrong.”
You looked straight ahead, ignoring Seonghwa’s goofy smile. “Whatever,” you huffed, resting your face on your hand, your elbow holding up the weight. You watched the sexy bartender notice your stare. He smiled and walked over to you.
“Need another sour?” he asked, his cheeks pinched with dimples. You had your eyes set on going home with him, and you were going to follow through with it. Seonghwa can stay outside for the night—or watch, it didn't matter to you.
“Actually,” you pondered, blinking slowly as the alcohol hit your system even harder. “I’ll take a vodka and Sprite. Grey Goose.” you hummed, watching him nod with a smirk on his face.
Seonghwa chuckled, but you were too focused on your mission to hear him blab about how much he hated you over and over again. Soon enough, that damn grey goose hit you harder than anything. Your eyes fluttered after your second glass, your vision fuzzy, and your heartbeat racing.
You let out a heavy sigh, unable to remember your original mission.
“Hey,” you coughed, your cheeks burning up from the toxin. You looked around the bar, only meeting Seonghwa’s eyes…..oh…they’re so pretty. “Where did everyone else go?”
He was facing you, looking at you through those sparkling irises of his. He took in a breath, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well, your brother left with that girl he was making out with earlier….San and Woo left not too long ago to go to another bar, and Mingi….” he paused, watching your expression change when mingi was mentioned. “Mingi went with them.”
“Ah,” you nodded. “Why’d you stop at mingi like that?”
He furrowed his brows. “Why’d you look like that when I mentioned him?”
You sniffled, feeling a burning sensation in your throat from all the vodka. “What do you mean?” you were too messed up to defend yourself. You didn't even know your expression changed.
“You looked…different when I said his name.”
You couldn't help but laugh at his dreary tone. “Pfft. Hwa, do you think that just because I slept with him once that I have feelings for him?”
He frowned, his eyebrows knit with confusion. “You slept with him? Mingi?”
You shrugged. “Yeah. Just once, though.” Oh god, you officially couldn't think straight. Why were you even telling him this? “But that was it.”
He looked at you with an unknown expression, flattening his lips. “So you just sleep with anyone, huh?”
You scoffed. “Well, no, not usually.” you bit your lip, looking at him without knowing how you were looking at him. “I kind of always wanted you, but I didn’t understand why, so I ignore the feeling by sleeping with other guys.”
“That makes no sense, y/n,” he spat. “What are you saying?”
You rolled your eyes, drunkenly gripping his broad shoulders, shaking him slightly. “Awh, shut it, Hwa. Haven't you ever felt that before?” you paused, not realizing how close you were. His eyes were sharp, and his lips parted. “Wanting someone you can't have? Knowing that they wouldn't want anything to do with you?”
He swallowed hard, his gaze piercing into you sharply. “You’re drunk, y/n,” he paused, looking at you intently before shaking your hands away. “Let’s go back to the hotel.”
“Oooh, don't tempt me, baby,” you poked his chest, giggling as he stood up off the barstool. You were completely oblivious to the fact that you just admitted to wanting him, but it didn't seem like he took it seriously.
“Get up,” he huffed, gripping under your arms and lifting you off your chair. You groaned, wrapping your arms around his waist. You held onto him tightly as he reached into his back pocket to grab money, tossing it onto the counter with a glare at the bartender.
“Enjoy your night,” Seonghwa growled, holding onto you, and made his way towards the hotel with you clung to him.
“Seonghwa,” you whispered, a giggle under your breath.
He grunted, pulling you along with him. “What?”
You sniffed. “Can I kiss you?”
He sighed. “No.”
“Why?” you mumbled, shoving your face into his chest.
“Because it’s your drunk habit.”
“So would you kiss me if it wasn't?” you asked, completely obliterated. There was no way you were going to remember this in the morning.
He didn't answer you.
“Come on, Hwa,” you moaned, stopping and gripping onto his collar in front of the hotel. You looked up into his eyes, feeling his intense gaze cut right through your intoxication. You needed him. Needed him bad. “Just once. God, just once.”
“I…” he swallowed, his hands twitching at his sides, crying out to touch you. He kept them away, even if he didn't want to. “Not now. Not while you’re drunk.”
You blinked slowly, watching his lips flatten into a frown. “Does that mean you want to?”
He sighed, running his hands through his hair aggressively. “Please just….let’s get back to the room and get you to bed.”
You groaned, but complied, following him into the hotel and into the elevator. The ride was silent, Seonghwa standing in the corner, farthest away from you, his breathing slowed. You stared at him, leaning up against the wall.
“I really hate you,” you mumbled, glaring at him. He was too sexy, his hair messy, his eyes dark, his long legs taller than a skyscraper. You only admitted your attraction to him when you were drunk, but you couldn't deny the pull you had to him.
He looked up at you, his starry eyes looking from your legs, up to your hips, over your breasts, and finally to your eyes. He took in a sharp breath, biting the corner of his lip.
“I hate you too,” he whispered, his vision low.
And in what world would the words I hate you cause someone’s heart to flutter?
The elevator dinged at your floor, and after a moment of longing stares, Seonghwa gripped your arm and dragged you out. He held onto your drunken body as he searched for his keycard, and once he found it, you tumbled into the room together.
Your back was pressed against the wall, his arms caging you in on both sides. His forehead was on yours, and you were able to feel his hot breath against your lips.
“Oh,” you hummed, your hands subconsciously dancing at the hem of his t-shirt. You watched his throat bob anxiously as you looked into his eyes.
It took everything in him to move away. He coughed awkwardly and then nodded toward the bed. “Come on, you need to rest.”
“Mhm,” you murmured, unable to move in a straight line. You kicked off your sandals, and pulled off your shirt with ease, leaving you only in your bra and that skimpy skirt seonghwa was looking at all night.
He watched as you walked, holding his breath without meaning to.
As you neared the bed, you reached back to unclip your bra, but you couldn't reach it. “Hwa?”
He was looking at the floor. “Hm?”
“Can you…” you paused, giving up on trying to get it off. “Take this off of me? It’s really uncomfortable.”
He blinked, his eyes wide. You couldn't see the confusion in his expression, but you heard the shakiness of his tone. “W-what? Your….bra?”
“Yeah.”
He didn't say anything else. He slowly walked over to where you were, and as his fingertips traced the middle of your back, you shivered under his touch.
He unclasped the hook, but held on to both ends of the bra, afraid to let it drop. “It’s done,” he whispered, backing up slightly.
You dropped the bra onto the floor and then reached to take off your skirt. As you slid it down your hips, you heard seonghwa nearly trip over his feet trying to turn away.
“Do you…always sleep naked?” he asked you, looking anywhere but where you were. You were way too drunk to care about what he sees, but you were also too tired to try. You fell onto the bed, your arm covering your breasts and your underwear still on.
“Fuck, y/n,” Seonghwa huffed, finally looking over and doing everything to not look where he shouldn't. He gently reached for the blanket, tossing it over you in one swift motion.
You shut your eyes tight, feeling his presence loom over you. He brushed away the stray hairs on your face and made sure you were laying on your side.
“.... I’m so screwed,” he muttered, giving you one last look before walking into the bathroom and turning on the cold water.
A cold shower, especially knowing that there was a beautiful, nearly naked girl in the bed just outside the door.
The cold water ran down his body, giving him a rush of pain.
“Fuck,” he hissed, biting his lip as his attraction to you only worsened.
—
After his attempt to cleanse his messy thoughts, Seonghwa stepped out of the bathroom, towel hanging low on his hips. He hesitated before looking over at you, and after he got a good look at your pretty face, he made his way to his luggage, rooting in there for a t-shirt to toss on.
“...seong…hwa,” you moaned.
Moaned.
“....y/n?” he whispered, maybe thinking you were awake and needed something. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but that sounded too….sensual than just a normal tone.
“I…ugh,” you groaned, “don't stop, please. H…Hwa.”
Seonghwa raised his eyebrows, dropping the clothes he had in his hands, eyes wide.
“Seonghwa….”
Okay, that was the third time. You were most definitely dreaming about him….
“Oh…my…god.” Hwa gulped, cautiously standing up and backing away as far as he could from you.
Little did he know how detailed your dream was.
—
His hands snaked up your bare hips, your legs wrapped around his waist. His lips were on your ear, biting, teeth clashing against your skin.
He thrusted into you, hard, his hips buckling as he moaned. You cried out his name, back arching, nails scratching. He fucked you hard, his forehead against yours, and his eyes rolled back into his head.
“You like that?” he whispered, his tongue sliding into your mouth before you could answer. His sweat fell on your cheek, and you moaned out his name once more. You weren't sure how you got here, how this came about, or anything. All that mattered was that you were finally with him, the man you always thought you hated.
“…hwa,” you moaned, “fuck me harder.”
And as he slammed into you with even more force than before, his lips crashed onto yours, his black hair blocking your vision. You wanted more, and more and more—
“Y/n,”
“Just shut up and keep going,” you cried out.
“Y/N!”
You shot awake, gasping for air as your back hit the headboard. You breathed heavily, realizing that you were dreaming about all of that and that the real seonghwa was standing in front of you, shirtless, with an expression you weren't quite sure you’d ever seen before.
“Seonghwa, what—”
“S..stop it. Don't say my name,” he stuttered, looking anywhere but your body. He quickly tossed a t-shirt at you—his t-shirt. “Just put this on. The guys are down getting breakfast, so we gotta go.”
He quickly walked to his own luggage and grabbed a shirt for himself. You watched him as he tossed it on and slid on his shoes, and with one last awkward glance at you, he left the room in haste.
You were too scared to look down, hoping that you still had underwear on. You weren't too sure if that was a dream or not, but given the way he acted, it made you even more confused.
You felt the wetness between your thighs, clenching them with a sigh. You stood up, tossing on the bra that was laying on the floor as if it was thrown off of you.
After cleaning yourself up a bit, you made your way to the breakfast area on the first floor, immediately noticed by Hongjoong. “There you are! I was worried you weren't going to—” he stopped, noticing the shirt that was way too big on you. “That’s the shirt I got Hwa….”
Seonghwa cleared his throat, shoving a bagel into his mouth to distract himself.
You ignored him and sat down across from him and next to Mingi. You looked up, meeting eyes with the man you thought so filthily about, seeing a swipe of cream cheese on the bottom of his lip. You held back, knowing that it’ll just send you into another spiral if you pointed it out.
But when he stuck his tongue out to lick it off, you felt the tingle in your stomach once more, thinking back at the dream you had, and how his tongue caressed you in more ways than one.
He met eyes with you, his lips parting slightly. His gaze was much different than it ever has been. You've never seen him so….lost. His expression was conflicted, his eyes not leaving your lips.
Wooyoung smirked. “Did you guys fuck or something? What’s with the mood?”
“Wooyoung!” Hongjoong yelled.
“What? I’m just pointing out the obvious,” he shrugged.
“We didn't. Keep dreaming,” Seonghwa muttered lowly, taking another bite of his bagel.
Hongjoong huffed. “I don't want to imagine my sister and seonghwa in that way…that’s super weird.”
“Why?” seonghwa questioned, his tone serious. You looked at him, confused as to why he cared. It seemed like everyone else was just as confused as you. “Ahem, I mean…uh, is it that hard to imagine?” Seonghwa’s voice was shaky, his gaze hopping from Hongjoong to you.
It made your brother laugh. “Well, yeah. You guys hate each other, right?” he took a sip of his coffee before continuing. “It makes no sense for you to even see eye to eye, I couldn't imagine you two in any type of relationship. Maybe her and Mingi, out of everyone.”
Seonghwa dropped his bagel face down onto his plate. “Why Mingi? What’s so special about—”
“I’m right here guys….” Mingi tried to interrupt, but Seonghwa shot him a dangerous glare, causing the gentle giant to hold his tongue.
Hongjoong looked around at the boys awkwardly and picked up his fork to continue eating his eggs. “I’m just saying.”
This was too awkward. You kept stealing glances at Hwa as if he were a magnet. You assumed he felt similarly, because every time you looked, your eyes would meet, and then you would awkwardly stare for a moment too long before looking away.
And when he got up to get more food, you got up, too.
“We need to talk,” you whispered, coming right up next to him as he put a muffin on his plate. “Why are you acting weird?”
He sighed and continued to add food to his plate. “I’m not acting weird.”
As he moved to get a drink from the drink machine, you continued to follow him. “Did I do something wrong yesterday?” you gasped, holding a hand over your mouth as he still ignored you. “Did I kiss you? Dear god, I hope not—”
“No, you didn't,” he said quietly, walking back over to the table.
“Something must have happened, seonghwa—”
He stopped, nearly causing you to bump into his back. “Don't.” he paused, taking in a sharp breath, looking over his shoulder at you. “Don't say my name.”
You frowned in confusion, watching the muscles in his back move as he walked away. You couldn't remember your antics yesterday, but maybe you made him uncomfortable by sleeping nearly naked—he hated you, so you could only imagine how irritated he was.
“Listen, if it was because I was naked, I'm sorry—”
Everyone at the table looked up as you spoke, including seonghwa. He looked shy, a blush on his cheeks, and he sat down quickly and stuffed the muffin in his mouth.
“Naked?” Mingi laughed, looking from you to seonghwa suggestively. “Sounds awfully smutty, Seonghwa.”
“We didn't—” he groaned, running a hand down his face. “Nothing happened with us.”
“Mhm, okay,” San smirked. “Whatever you say. Anyway, we have a whole day out planned, so you two better get back to your normal selves or we won't have any fun.”
You really needed to talk to seonghwa, but it seemed like you'll be busy the whole day with the boys—and he didn't seem to be very interested in talking to you, anyway.
You tilted your head in curiosity.
“What are we doing?”
—
The day was eventful.
First, you went to the beach. Seemed innocent, until Seonghwa took off his shirt and got all soaking wet, sending you in a mess of thoughts and a mess below. He would look over at you, and wouldn't look away, paying intense attention to your body in a skimpy little bikini.
When you went to talk to him, he body-slammed you into the ocean, and normally you would've fumed, but this time, you enjoyed his hands on your bare skin.
After the beach, you walked along the boardwalk of shops and lots of food. You grabbed a popsicle, licking it without a thought, but when you felt an intense pressure on you, you looked over to see seonghwa looking at you with an expression you've never seen on him. His eyes were focused on your lips, his own lips curled up as he bit them. You continued to eat your popsicle, but couldn't stop looking at him.
When you tried to bring up last night, Hongjoong came over and took the rest of your pop, running away from you like a child.
At dinner, you sat at the far end of the table, as far away as possible from Seonghwa. It wasn't intended, but now there was no way you could talk, as everyone would hear your conversation.
You ate, feeling defeated. Maybe you should just forget about it.
It was still daylight after dinner. As the guys conversed about what to do next, San and Wooyoung decided to go their own way and walk the beach, which was just their code word for “shopping” for girls. Hongjoong agreed with them, shocking you since he was always hell-bent on not going off a schedule. You assumed he was just going to meet that girl he was with yesterday, but whatever, it just meant that you could be left alone with Seonghwa.
After those three left, it was only you, Seonghwa, and Mingi. Hwa stood with his hands in his pockets, awkwardly looking around as you stood outside the restaurant. Mingi was even more awkward, looking at you before speaking.
“Um, I’m just gonna go with Woo and San, so,” he breathed, looking to seonghwa now. “I’ll see you guys back at the hotel tonight.”
“Okay, Mingi,” you smiled. “See you later.”
You watched him leave and then looked at the boy standing next to you.
“So,” you tried to initiate conversation, but seonghwa started walking in the opposite direction from where everyone else went. You followed. “What should we do?”
“I’m going surfing,” he said blandly. “I don't know about you, though.”
“I’ll come with you,” you smiled, finally catching up to him. He let out an aggravated groan as you walked close to him. “Do you even know how to surf?”
He scoffed. “Yeah, of course, I do.”
“I’m just saying,” you noted, shrugging as you followed him. “You’re too….dainty. I feel like if you fell off you’d break every bone in your body.”
Seonghwa didn't react in any way you were hoping he would. Instead, he kept walking silently, until you reached the part of the beach where the surf shack was. Wetsuits were laid out, ready to be picked up, and surfboards stood tall through the sand and against the building. You stared in awe as you approached, seeing that there was no one else here but you two.
Finally, alone at last.
“Grab a suit if you’re gonna do this,” he pointed to them, raising an eyebrow when you stood there anxiously. “What? Don't you know how to surf?” he mocked.
You kicked at the sand, your hands behind your back. “Pff. yeah, of course, I….no. I don't.” you pleaded with your eyes sweetly, despite all of the dirty things you wanted to do to him. “Could you please teach me? Pretty please?”
He held his own suit close to his chest as he looked down at you. “Why should I?”
You stepped closer to him, causing him to step back cautiously. “Because I’m pretty?”
“Oh honey, who lied to you?” he joked.
“Please, Seonghwa?” you stressed his name, hoping to break him. You watched his eye twitch as you said it, reminding you of earlier when he told you not to say his name.
“Seonghwa seonghwa seonghwa seong—”
“Okay, fine! Jeez,” he huffed, tossing you a suit, only for it to hit you in the face. “Get dressed.”
You walked into the shack with him, going your separate ways at the locker rooms. Everything went smoothly until you tried to zipper the suit up, only being able to get it halfway. You pondered on asking seonghwa for help or completely turning into a contortionist, but after failing to do it yourself, you gave up and left the room to ask him.
Seonghwa stood amongst the surfboards, his lean body looking delicious in that surf suit. You nearly drooled looking at him.
“Hey,” you started, slowly approaching him as he picked out a board. “Can you help me zipper this?”
He turned to you, his expression conflicted as he saw you. You turned around, showing your exposed back, causing him to clear his throat. “O..okay.”
His delicate fingers brushed against the skin of your back, nearly causing you to shiver. You felt his breath hit the back of your neck as the zipper moved up and up until he zipped it completely.
“....There,” he said, swallowing. “You’re all good.”
He didn't move his hands until you pulled away from him, turning back around to face him. The silence was deafening, so you decided to break it.
“Seonghwa, about last night, what exactly happened—”
“Let’s just get started before the sun goes down,” he interrupted, looking anywhere but your eyes. “We’ll talk later.”
That was good enough for now. You watched him try to pick out a board, but he seemed extremely nervous. After a good bit of time, he grabbed a pink one, causing you to smile. Pink suited him so much, more than he’d probably like to admit.
“Let’s start with some basics,” he spoke smoothly, tossing the board down onto the sand. “Get on it. On your stomach.”
You lay down on the board, looking up at him for more directions. He taught you how to paddle with your arms, explaining that you'll have to dive under the waves sometimes if you were okay with doing that. You couldn't look weak now, especially not to him. So after the little training lesson, you were finally in the shallow water, sand already in every nook and cranny of you.
“Try to keep balance,” he said, his voice raspy. It wasn't the time to turn you on, but of course, he could do it just by his voice. “Keep your chest up.” his hand caressed your back, down your spine.
You looked up at him, his wet hair dripping down his face. You held back, as much as you could, from pouncing on him.
But when you fell off the board and got stuck underwater, you’ve never seen him so concerned before.
He grabbed you under your arms, pulling you back up and holding him to you while you coughed. You were perfectly fine—maybe a little too much water in the ears, but it was the least of your worries. What you cared about was the look on his face and the way he caged you to his body.
“y/n?” he rushed his hand over your face, pushing away your drenched hair so he could see you. “Are you okay?”
You coughed, blinking away the salt that infiltrated your eyes. Seonghwa noticed your distress and gently rubbed your face with the pad of his thumb.
“Don't rub your eyes,” he pushed your hand away, still not letting you go from his embrace. “You'll make it worse.”
“It hurts,” you mumbled, causing his look of worry to worsen. True, the salt started burning your eyes, but you couldn't get enough of his caring touch—maybe because he’s never shown this side of himself to you.
He took in an anxious breath as he looked around. “Maybe we should get back to the hotel,” he spoke softly, the sound of water filling your senses as you looked at him.
Everything about his appearance aggravated you—from the way his midnight hair draped his face, dripping with water down his cheeks, to the way his normally judgemental eyes seemed gentle and sweet. He looked kind, the type of man who would worship his lover like a queen, and all the time knowing him, you tried your hardest to only see him in a negative light.
Now, as he held you in the cold, sparkling ocean as the sun was setting, all you saw was your reflection in his eyes and all you felt was the undeniable pull to be with him. To touch him. To kiss him. To tell him that maybe, just maybe, you’ve always had a piece of him in your heart.
“Seonghwa, I…” you paused, ignoring the burn from the salt water. You watched his lips as they slowly parted, his eyes wide as he picked you apart. They looked at you differently, like they never looked at you before, and you wanted him to never stop looking at you.
The distance between the two of you was nonexistent—you saw every drop of water on his skin, and you were certain he was able to gather the meaning behind your gaze. If he did, he didn't say anything—he only looked back at you with those entrancing irises of his, a look you’ve never seen from him. He waited patiently for you to finish your sentence, but you had nothing else to say.
As your lips neared his, you heard his breath get caught in his throat, and you felt his embrace tighten around you. You closed your eyes, taking in the feeling, hoping that he would be the one to lean in and meet your lips.
He didn't.
Instead, his hands trailed down your back, the pink surfboard still floating next to you despite being forgotten. His breath was shaky as he touched you, but the moment ended too quickly as he shook himself out of his trance.
“I um, we should, you know,” he nodded towards the beach, even though you weren't too far out. “We should get back to the room.”
You slowly blinked at him, watching his expression stay the same despite the change of mind. He coughed, letting go of you, but then he grabbed your hand and the board before pulling you to shore.
The walk back was quiet. He didn't let go of your hand until you got back to the surf shack, and he reluctantly let go knowing you had to change.
You both were silent as you looked at each other, but the ache in your chest convinced you to break this tension.
Before you entered the changing room, you quickly turned back around to face seonghwa, who still stood with that….sex-charged expression on his face.
“….Stop looking at me like that,” you hummed, your chest heavy as he breathed in deeply. He looked at you with those bedroom eyes of his, half of his wetsuit already off. He looked deadly, which didn't help your desire.
He swallowed hard but tried his best to remain calm. “Like what?”
You took a step closer, reaching back to your zipper to pull it down just a little. You shrugged it down your bare shoulders, making sure he got to know that there was nothing else but you under that wetsuit once again.
And when you got as close as you could, you said the words you knew would be life or death for him.
“Like you want to fuck me,” you shrugged, acting all cool even though you were falling apart by the second. You were lucky you were at the surf shack at such a late time of day, and that no one else was here except you.
He choked on air, stepping away from you until his back hit the wall. You noticed how his chest rose and fell as he breathed in, and how delicious it would be to just lick him all over….
“I…” he gulped, but his eyes lingered on your shoulders and the curve of your breasts. “I don't know what you mean?”
You smiled through your haze, mind focused on getting to the bottom of his sudden change of attitude towards you. You reached out, gently guiding your hand down the plain of his chest, down his slim, but muscular waist. Oh, you couldn't get enough of him already.
You smirked. “Then tell me why you’ve been eye fucking me all day, or at least what happened last night, so I can understand.”
He blinked fast, looking from your lips, down your neck, to your bare shoulders.
“You…” he took in a sharp breath as your hands trailed down his body. “You sleeptalk.”
“I know that already,” you whispered, looking into his captivating gaze.
He leaned forward slightly, veins popping in his neck as he strained against his judgment. “I mean, you…kept moaning my name. I…I couldn't take it anymore….I can't take it anymore. Every time you speak I just want to fucking shut you up with my mouth for fucks sake.” he huffed, subconsciously gripping your hips as he grits his teeth. “You so annoying, so damn annoying, I can't—”
“Then take me,” you spoke against his lips. “Fuck me. Just like you did in my dreams.”
His forehead pressed against yours as you pushed him further against the wall.
“And how did I do that?” he growled, his fingertips tugging at your wetsuit. “Was I rough? Gentle?” he paused, lips pressed to your neck. “Did I make you say my name, or was that all you with that filthy little mouth of yours?”
You couldn't speak as his lips glided down your neck to your collarbone. He sucked on the skin there, roughly, causing you to suck in a sharp breath and run your hands through his dripping-wet hair.
You moaned, biting his earlobe. “I want you to tear me apart.”
He smirked against your skin, his eyes finally meeting yours.
“Rough it is, then.”
Without warning, he bit his lip hard as he pulled your wetsuit right down to your ankles, the water from his hair dripping onto your bare shoulders. He nearly growled as you stood in front of him, naked as ever, his gaze darkening before gripping the back of your neck to pull you to him.
As he sucked on your neck, you pulled down his suit with aggression, not quick enough for the hunger in both of your souls. His hot breath tickled your skin, his hands clawed at your hips, and his lips begged to kiss yours as you shoved him against the wall once again, skin on skin. He breathed heavily, his eyes dancing from your breasts to your waist, to your lips.
You gripped onto his hair, staring into his eyes for a moment before you locked your lips with his, tasting the saltiness of the ocean and the sweet warmth of his saliva. Your tongues fought for their lives, dancing as you deepened the kiss. Foreheads slamming, hands invading space. It was all over for your sanity the minute his long fingers glided against your core, his middle finger finding your clit and rubbing gently. His kisses were rough as his fingers delicately touched you, fueling the fire within you even more than it already was.
“Seonghwa,” you moaned against his ear, causing him to move his hand faster with a grunt. “Push them in me.”
He hissed, his eyes rolling back into his head as he pulled his hands away for a moment, only to suck his fingers in front of you before shoving them into you, curling them up inside you. You arched your back against him, crying out as his lips found yours once again.
He kissed you deeply as he made love to you with his hands, his fingers long enough to reach deep inside of you—but it wasn't enough. You bit his lip sharply as he fingered you, causing him to hiss in pleasure. “I need your cock in me. Now.” you licked his jawline, watching him squirm in your embrace.
His cheeks were flushed red as he looked at you, his eyes looking as if he were intoxicated. “I…fuck,” he sucked in a breath, kissing you as his fingers moved faster and faster. “Okay.”
As he pulled his fingers out of you, he licked them once more, his eyes on yours seductively.
“You taste so good.” he moaned, his mouth parted. He then lifted you up, walking you over to the table of waxed surfboards in the middle of the room. Shoving everything off with one hand, he threw you onto the wood, causing you to let out a little grunt.
“You’re so sexy,” he leaned over you, slamming your hands above your head before silencing your moans with a rough kiss. “So fucking sexy, you have no idea how long I wanted to shove my dick inside you.” His words were like gasoline to your fire, causing you to cry out in a whimper for him to do exactly what he said he would do. You kept your mouth shut as he tugged you to the edge of the table, lining up his hard-on to enter you.
After a look of longing, he spit onto his fingers and rubbed them onto his cock and your heat, his chest falling and rising with his heavy breathing. He then buried himself inside you, deeply, causing your breath to hitch. He was even bigger than your dreams, tearing apart your expectations of his skills. You tried your best to free your arms from his hold, but as he moved in and out of you, you had lost the desire to escape it. You really liked the feeling of his fingernails tearing into your skin.
“Ah,” he whimpered, his hips rocking quickly, his eyes shut tight. His thrusts were deep, not slowing down for a second.
Your legs curled around his shoulders, his one arm holding your hands and his other piercing into your ankle. He grunted as he pumped into you, tearing at your insides, feeling him fill you up. “Hwa,” you groaned, back arching in pleasure. “Harder. Fuck me harder.”
He grunted in response, speeding up faster as his hips slammed into yours. You felt him quiver inside you, precum dripping into you without a care. You loved the feeling, you didn't care about the risks in the moment.
You climaxed without warning, your legs tightening around his head. He kept muttering your name over and over again against you, kissing the skin of your ankles as he continued to fuck the living shit out of you. You started to see stars as he nearly cracked your spine, and right before he nearly came, he flipped you over onto your stomach without ever leaving you.
Your face was shoved against the wood of the table, the sweet smell of sex enveloping your senses. You cried out his name as he gripped onto your hips, moving faster as his own orgasm came close. His lips met the small of your back, his fingers gripped your ass with haste.
“I’m going to come,” he mumbled, his voice raspy. “Can I come in you?”
“Yes,” you breathed. “Come inside me.”
As if your words stirred something within him, he immediately moved in shorter movements, his grip on your ass tightening as his orgasm came. His breathing shallowed as he came into you, filling you up with his cum. You let out one last moan as you felt his warmth, and he kissed the back of your neck as he finished.
He pulled out of you slowly despite how rough he was—he could've been rougher, but you didn't want him to think of you as the insane slut everyone thought you were.
Even though you only ever slept with others because you couldn't have him.
And now…..what comes next?
He helped you sit back up to a normal position, and when he saw the dark, purple bruises on your neck and collarbone, he gasped. “Oh, I’m sorry,” his fingers gently brushed against your hot skin as if he didn't just totally destroy you. “I kind of….went crazy, didn't I?”
You smiled up at him in a daze, both your cheeks blushed in embarrassment and enjoyment. “I like crazy.”
He paused, standing proudly in front of you with that delicious body of his. You sighed in contentment, a lazy smile on your lips. “I dreamt of this. Literally.” you reached out to him, pulling his lips down to yours. He kissed them softly, opening his mouth wide as he made out with you. You didn't want to pull away, but as the thought of you both having sex in a public surf shack came to your mind, you pulled away quickly, startling him.
“Um, so,” you laughed awkwardly. “Should we head back now? We are kind of in a public place….”
Seonghwa looked around, smirking as he leaned forward on the table, kissing you once more. “It was kind of thrilling, not gonna lie.”
You leaned into his embrace, his hands caressing your back romantically. “So,” you whispered against his lips. “We should get back. And this time, you better sleep in the bed with me.”
“Oh, baby, I plan on doing more than just sleeping.”
—
After countless rounds of ‘sleeping’, you ended up waking up late in Seonghwa’s embrace, his lips pressed against the curve of your shoulder as he held you. He quite literally rocked you all night long, and you even discovered his love for reverse cowgirl—making him come within two minutes of the fifth round.
Now, as you lay in his arms while he slept, you finally felt content. He was all you ever wanted, even though your words said otherwise this whole time of knowing him.
“Hey,” you turned around in his embrace, pressing your lips against his forehead. “Seonghwa.”
“Hm?” he grumbled sleepily, his eyes blinking open to meet yours.
You smiled, running a hand through his messy hair. “We should get up. The others are probably waiting for us in the lobby.”
“Ugh, why?” he groaned, holding onto you tighter. “ I don't want to leave this bed today. Or ever.”
You giggled, pecking his lips. “Come on, Hwa. I really would like to get a tan on the sand today.”
His eyes were wide open now, but he blinked slowly from his sleepiness. “We barely got any sleep,” he huffed, shoving his head into your shoulder. “And I can't kiss you in front of everyone, I can't wait the whole day to touch you.”
You grinned chaotically.
“Who says we have to hide it?”
—
“Dear lord,” Wooyoung huffed, sitting with his arms crossed at the beach. “Are they ever going to stop and come up for air?”
Your friends sat on towels on the sand, while you sat on Seonghwa’s lap as you made out with him. His hands gripped your face as he stuck his tongue in your mouth, both of you having no care for those around you.
“I knew this was going to happen,” San mumbled with a smirk, elbowing Wooyoung playfully. “Just let them have their fun. It’s been a long time coming.”
“Pfft,” Woo scoffed, looking at how seonghwa touched you.
“I always thought I would be the one tapping that.”
“Wooyoung shut the fuck up.”
#ateez#ateez smut#ateez fanfic#ateez seonghwa#park seonghwa#seonghwa#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa smut#roomates#vacation au#ateez masterlist#enemies to lovers#fwb#wooyoung#San#mingi#Hongjoong
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Food Bank Fundraiser
Hi everyone!
First of all, I want to say thanks to everyone who's been leaving such nice tags/comments on stuff I've posted! It's been really encouraging (o^▽^o)
Anyway, I think we all know it's very dark days on the economic front for many of us. So as such, I'd like to help raise some funds for Food Banks Canada! In exchange for you making a donation to the food bank, I will draw a character suggestion!
I know this is not really the sort of thing I normally do or post here but... many folks are struggling to put food on the table right now, and the food bank is a source of support for many and provides an absolute necessity. I've seen many people struggling in my own city, and food security has become an even bigger issue than it already was in the last couple of years with the food bank struggling to keep up with demand. Of course, food security is an issue across the whole country that's putting a huge strain on food banks, with nearly 5% of the entire population making use of food banks monthly, and 23% of the population reporting food insecurity (CBC, 2024; Global News, 2024). Unsurprisingly, those who are already most disadvantaged suffer the effects of food scarcity even more (Statistics Canada, 2023). To make matters more desperate, Canada's food bank system is on the brink of collapse (CTV News, 2024).
I know this isn't going to something big enough to change the world or anything, but being able to make even a small impact for individual people is important too!
✨Incentives✨
Of course, I'm sure people aren't just in it for a reward, but rewards make things all the sweeter, right?
For those who want to contribute, I'll take a character suggestion and add it to a poll (depending on the number of contributors, it may be split up into multiple polls), and then I'll draw as many as I can from top to bottom ranking! If you contribute, please send me a DM with your donation receipt and your character idea! They won't necessarily all be drawn in the same style, and they'll be done according to how much time I've got. (I know that commissions are probably the biggest incentive, but realistically, I struggle to get them done quickly and they're probably not that affordable to everyone)
If you prefer SFW or NSFW, you can let me know (But NSFW will be posted to Cohost). If you make a bigger contribution, I'll reach out to you and ask if you wanna see more specifics/details in your piece. How's that for sweetening the pie? :3
For those who can't make a donation (which is completely understandable), simply spreading the post is also helpful, and I appreciate that greatly as well!
Don't forget that giving a donation allows you to get a tax break based on the amount donated as well!
Alternatives?
If you'd rather donate to your own local food bank, that's great too! You can DM me and send me a pic of your receipt and I'll still add your suggestion to the poll.
If you REALLY want a commission, you can also DM me and I'll do my best to fulfil it! I won't be taking commissions for this till/if there's at least a couple of items on the poll though. The proceeds will go to my own local food bank. The commission will be done later though, and may take some time to fulfil. I take payment only after starting.
When do we start??
I guess once there's a good number of poll options? I have no idea how long that will be, but rest assured I'll keep you updated!
Where do we contribute?
You can make your donation to Food Banks Canada! They really need it!
Alternatively, you can make a donation to your local food bank or equivalent charity.
Other Questions?
Feel free to send me a message or an ask! I'll get back to you ASAP. If I need to include more details or clarify something, let me know! It's my first time doing this!
TL;DR
I want to help raise money for food banks! Anyone who contributes to Food Banks Canada (or donates to their own local food bank or equivalent charity) can DM me with their receipt and give a character to add to the poll. Poll characters will be drawn in order of their ranking, as many as I can manage, over as long a period of time as I can manage!
No pressure to donate of course, I just figured this would be a fun way of raising a bit of money to help out, and allow us to donate more than what I personally can
Current Contributor Count: 13
Suggested Characters:
Imagine your beloved, obscure or popular character here on this poll list! Oooooooh, how lucrative :3
Total funds raised:
780.36$!!!
#I bet Amiya would encourage donations to the food bank too right??#I know it's unorthodox to run it like this!#But boy is it dire days#food bank#donation#Art#fundraising#Arknights#Amiya#pixel art#pixel#art#poll#digital art#artists on tumblr
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Hi everyone,
I'm a 23-year-old university student from the Philippines, and I'm in a really tough spot right now. I'm living on my own and my funds are nearly depleted—I have just about 1,000 pesos left, which is only around $18 USD. I desperately need medical assistance to afford my psych medications, which cost around 5,000 pesos (~$90 USD) each month. Without them, my mental health deteriorates significantly. On top of that, I'm struggling to cover my educational expenses as I work on my undergraduate thesis and prepare for an upcoming internship. These are critical for my future, but I just don't have the means to pay for the materials, transportation, and other related costs. And to make things worse, I can't even cover my daily expenses like food and rent. I feel overwhelmed and don't know where else to turn. At this point, I need at least 300 USD to cover all my needs, so I'm shooting my shot here. Reblogs are very much appreciated.
If you're able to help, my Paypal is @/abguinto or https://www.paypal.me/abguinto
Also if anyone could offer any advice or help, it would mean the world to me.
(If you're unsure if i am a scam or not, you may send me a DM. I just don't have the courage to post this on my real account but I'm willing to disclose it if you like.)
0/300
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Hi!
Can I request Maddox with a darling who lives to read, maybe he catches her reading some old romance books in an abandoned house they shack up in or something like that
Btw I live your writing ♥️
As someone who loves to read I am obligated to write for this req 😤🫡 Thanks for the request tho!! Hope you like it :-)
Yandere Wild West Outlaw x Bookworm Reader
CW// Maddox is annoying, Reader being a little perv Masterlist Here!!
The new house Maddox found was lovely. It had decently okay furniture and a vast collection of old books on the shelf. It's small with only two bedrooms and one bathroom but it was charming. But what caught your interest was the big oak wood bookshelf. You couldn't even remember the last time you picked up a book. Being on the run with Maddox made time fly.
"Who would leave all these books behind? They're all in great condition." You mutter to yourself as you take a blue and purple book with gold trim off the shelf. Tracing your fingers down the spine of the hardcover novel you appreciate the craftsmanship. It was clearly expensive, something you could no longer afford. Your Dad bought you many books like these but now you were pretty much broke. You only had Maddox to rely on now.
Speaking of Maddox you had no clue where he was. Which you didn't really care, he always disturbed your peace. Cracking open the book you sit down on the loveseat and start reading. It was a romance book about a huntsman who fell in love with a duchess. The story was beautiful as it was exhilarating.
"Oh wow, you into that kinda stuff?"
You snap the book shut instantly, a mini cloud of dust poofs from the pages. Maddox chuckles huskily behind you, leaning down and resting his chin on the back of the loveseat.
"Oh don't be embarrassed princess, it was getting to the good part. What did it say again? Oh! Ahem-"
Maddox coughs into his hand and smirks. Deepening his voice he quotes the passage in a deep, British-like accent,
"He caresses the duchess' milky thighs, her womb felt of silk wrapped around his ma-"
"OH HUSH!" You whip around and smack the outlaw's head, his hat nearly flying off. But he only laughs at your flustered state.
"You're filthy." You groan and put the book back on the shelf where it was. But Maddox follows behind you and takes the book into his own hands and opens it up. Skimming through the pages he smirks.
"I'm filthy? Sweetheart you're the one readin' this junk." Maddox shuts the book and puts it back. Putting his hand up on the shelf he leans against it while looking down at your shorter self.
"Well it is a romance book." Rolling your eyes you choose a different book. This time you pick a title you're familiar with, Pride and Prejudice.
"Now leave me alone you brute. I'd like to relax for once." With that you walk away and go outside. Finding a nice tree you sit beneath it and read the book. Reading reminded you of home, the home that was ripped from you. In a way it was escapism which is unhealthy but a girl can dream right?
Hours pass and the sun begins to set, casting an orange glow across the cloudy sky. The words on the page become harder to read as the sun sinks lower and the moon rises. You didn't want it to end. You know you could read inside but that damn outlaw was inside. You just wanted to stay out here forever with the natural ambience of wind and birds.
Footsteps approach you and you already know who it is. Looking up you see him. Black denim jeans, a burgundy vest, twin revolvers around his waist, and a dark brown cowboy hat on his head. And of course that bandana covering the bottom half of his face. Anytime you asked him about his face he got ticked off so you avoided the subject. But you couldn't help but be curious.
"You're starin' sweetheart." His husky voice breaks the silence. There’s a hint of a Spanish accent mixed in with his Southern drawl. You can't help but think about what it would be like if you and him met under different circumstances. Would he save you from bandits? Offer to buy you a drink at the saloon?
Would you two have a storybook romance just like in the books you adore?
"Hey."
He's right in front of you now, crouched to your height. His gloved hand pets your hair and you're frozen. He has you in a trance that you make no effort to free yourself from. His dark amber eyes are crinkled in slight concern over your unusual silence.
"What..?" You say softly.
"It's gettin' dark. Unless you wanna be dinner for the coyotes then I suggest comin' back in. I'll cook up some beans so hurry your little bum up."
Well there goes the moment. You groan and get up off the grass, your back cracking as you stretch. Your eyes watch as Maddox walks back into the house. His hips sway as he walks, you never really payed attention to that before. His ass looks pretty round in those pants to-
"Ugh, what is wrong with me.." Groaning, you follow after him.
#yandere#yandere x reader#x reader#yandere imagines#yandere x you#yandere oc#yandere oc x reader#obsession#maddox graves#yandere cowboy#cowboy#western
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Nie Mingjue's Fatal Journey crying scenes appreciation post
There's no way I wouldn't make this post, but it ended up way longer than I intended.
Fighting with Huaisang
When is this man not tearing up?
This fight is so important for Huaisang's character development and the movie's themes, with Huaisang being ready to challenge and question the Nie ways and Mingjue doing his best to uphold those traditions and keep the peace through the only way he knows how.
But it's still hard to be challenged like this and to face the possibility that everything you've ever known might not be right, actually.
And this gif specifically is from the moment Huaisang questions if Mingjue even knows what they're there to fight and what this supposed great evil that will come to Qinghe if they fail to balance their blades even is. Mingjue has no answer, of course, I suppose he was only taught this and never had reason to question it.
But Huaisang is also talking about the disciples they already 'lost' at this point of the movie, and he says something along the lines of " You don't know anything, you only know how to bring them here to die" and that does it. Because it's both "you can't follow these rules blindly when they rely on sacrificing people" and "you've changed and I don't trust your judgement on these matters anymore".
And as he says it, Mingjue looks at their disciples and he sees the puppets for a moment. And Huaisang just questioned if the other disciples were really attacked by puppets.
So that's a big moment and Huaisang is right, of course, but he doesn't have a confirmation that this is the result of Mingjue's health deterioration yet, so he keeps pushing. And Mingjue doesn't really have a counter argument because he knows what's going on with him, but it must be very scary to hear it from the person you care about the most and realize just how much you're being affected.
(Actually, Mingjue has one counter argument and that is "Well, I am at least trying to do something while you're painting and living a carefree life", and he's not wrong either. Huaisang is right and rightfully harsh, but this is the first time he's being confronted with these difficult choices and all their family history. He can reflect on and question it, but his brother has been meking those hard decisions since he was 14, when did he ever had a break to question and change things?)
Which leads us to
The Talk
After seeing his brother sacrifice himself for him at the bridge, and then seeing Mingjue be so vulnerable and lost, that anger from their fight is gone. They can meet in the middle with "You are right, I wasn't thinking straight, this is not a long term solution and I've failed at changing our ways" and "It's not your fault, you did everything you could but you're not responsible for this situation" and it's very beautiful and heartbreaking.
Mingjue is so remorseful, both because he has condemned Huaisang to die with him and because he feels like he failed everyone and everything (even if he doesn't seem to know what he could have done differently to avoid all this).
And Huaisang's reaction in this scene is so calm it made me think this Huaisang is somewhat used to his brother displaying vulnerability around him. This isn't book NMJ with all his victories, this isn't a man who never let the Unclean Realm be conquered and who could afford to keep Huaisang far away from the war. This is a man who was attacked and subdued in his own home, who had to send Huaisang to the hands of the people who killed their father.
This Huaisang doesn't have reasons to see Mingjue as this unmovable force, he has seen Mingjue hurt and threatened and fearful; and he's now seeing him remorseful and defeated.
(I'm sure Mingjue telling Huaisang about the fact that he's dying and admiting his mistakes and insecurities is something new, especially considering their previous fight, but this Huaisang doesn't take it as a shock, because he knows his brother is only human and there's only so much he can handle. He even, like, explicitly says this)
And so he assumes this calm, reassuring and empathetic posture, because that's what his brother is asking for. And it's the most beautiful thing, Huaisang has so much love for him, so much empathy. And this is Mingjue's reaction to his brother's reassurance that it's okay if they have to die there:
I'm sure Huaisang is still processing Mingjue's "I only forced you to practice because I'll die soon", but he's so good at reassuring his brother.
Because Mingjue just told him "I am dying and I'll go as a failure" and Huaisang insisted "None of this is your fault and you did everything you could and more, and if I have to die here with you today, I don't regret a thing, and you shouldn't either".
There's no despair or anger that his brother is only telling him this now, there's only understanding and acceptance and so much love and they really knew what they were doing with this movie.
His people love him
Mingjue is so moved. He just admitted to Huaisang that he's not in peace with his accomplishments, or lack thereof; that he feels ashamed to face his ancestors, having done so little.
So I truly believe Mingjue doesn't consider himself worthy of this much trust and support. (And I can't ignore how this is tied to the Nightless City situation, where he led the men who trusted him with their lives to a dangerous situation and couldn't save any of them).
As we see in the confrontation at Jinlintai, that technically happens after this movie, that is still a very sensitive topic.
And here he has his loyal disciples saying they will follow him yet again, despite his previous 'failures'; just like Huaisang was ready to die with him. They have so much trust in him, and the way he's nodding a little here, just like he was nodding when Huaisang reminded him of everything he's done for their sect since their father died, is like he's convincing himself of it. That he can do this and he can do this right this time.
And yet
He fails again. And I don't even think he knows it was him who killed those disciples, like some people say. He doesn't need to because it doesn't matter. His men, who followed him till the end of the world, are dead again. And so is the hope he had of doing this one right thing before he dies.
Yes, he supressed the saber spirit like he had to, but they're still dead, all of them.
He falls apart, how could he not?
At some point I'm sure Huaisang his holding all his weight because he just gives up. There's only so much loss one can handle and that's way too much.
And look at the way Huaisang is watching him as he realizes something inside Mingjue shattered forever.
There's so much pain in this scene, it looks physically taxing and I hope people gave Wang Yizhou a break after he shot this. I know it's his job and he's phenomenal at it, but this has to mess with your head a little.
And hey, it's a Huaisang crying scene as well. CQL Huaisang only really cries twice. First he watches his brother have a mental breakdown in his arms after unknowingly killing his own disciples; and then as he watches his brother qi deviate and die, while unable to do anything to either stop or comfort him.
(And a lot of people said there's no hesitation on Huaisang's part when he rushes to his brother's aid when Mingjue is hurt on this post's notes, and that's true for book Huaisang too, because he runs towards Mingjue as he is qi deviating, gets hurt in the process, and still keeps calling for him, which makes CQL's decision to have JGY holding him back kind of cruel, tbh, there's not a Huaisang who would run from a hurting Mingjue regardless of the risks
But at least we have this scene.)
And that's it, I guess. There's nothing uplifting to say about this, really. He just went through a lot and kept shouldering everything until he couldn't anymore. I just wish book NMJ had gotten to receive the same love and comfort and acceptance from NHS before he died, I wish he had been able to tell his brother what was actually happening, but thats kind of the purpose of this movie, so I'm just very grateful that it exists.
It's like that post says, it didn't change anything but the love was there, you know? That's how this movie feels for me.
#nie mingjue#nie huaisang#fatal journey#cql#long post#now this is meta with gifs#sorry i can't even attempt to joke a little about this movie everything is just sad from start to finish#the gifs might look worse than the ones on the other post and that's me not knowing how to deal with fatal journey being so dark and green#that talk they have feels kind of like an absolution for nmj doesn't it#book nmj deserved that too#oh yes we have two tearing up scenes#one crying scene#and one bawling his eyes out scene#on a movie that is less than 1 hour and a half long so he's crying the entire time; really
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I have a request for when you have time and only if you vibe with it haha
How about: Mona, somewhat tall, dark hair, light blue eyes, loves a tattoo when she can afford it, loves jewellery (fingers full of rings, chokers). She's been friends with the band for a while, can be a bit shy but fun and lovely to be around. She's gotten out of her first relationship a while ago, one where she never felt really appreciated or loved and the other person didn't really bother with her enjoyment during sex ever, so much that she wondered if sex just wasn't for her. But Noah, oh Noah, doesn't even need to do much but she feels hot and bothered. So what if Noah finds out and vows to provide her with an amazing experience, finding out she's actually quite kinky along the way. The kinks are up to you if you'd like I'll love it all haha. Maybe they're also in love with each other and just realising it now, maybe it's just a fwb situation, completely up to you, I can't wait to see what you'll come up with, your writing is amazing! 💜💜
Something light and easy, just for funsies. ☺️ After Writing Notes: This was fun. I enjoyed having something more lighthearted. Hopefully it is what you were hoping for.
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: smut, dirty talk, kink (nothing too wild), oral sex (both receiving)
Blackbird
"This had better be good if you're calling me at six in the morning..."
I rubbed my eyes, my deep frustrations seeping out in my words.
"It is!" I huffed, waiting for him to continue. "We're home!"
I raised an eyebrow. "I'd hope so. You've been on the road for like...three days?"
"Right, but we're home! And we want to go get breakfast!"
Still failing to see what any of that had to do with me, I tossed my arm over my face. "So...do that?"
"Okay, so you'll meet us there?"
"I beg your pardon?" I opened my eyes, knitting my eyebrows together.
"You'll meet us at Reggie's?"
I growled into the receiver. "You're out of your God damn mind if you think I'm getting out of bed anytime before ten, Nick."
"C'mon Mona! We talked about getting together as soon as we got home!"
"Uh, yeah, I figured that meant after you had taken some time to fucking recover!"
He giggled. "We're all caffeinated and hungry. Thought it would be a good time!"
"It's not."
"I'm buying!"
"I'd rather die."
"Too bad. Get dressed and meet us in an hour, please!"
Opening my mouth to protest, I felt the line go dead.
There were moments I truly regretted being friends with Nick Folio. He was a morning person.
Lifting my head off of the bed, I scrunched up my nose and pouted for a moment, gathering enough of my bearings to pull my legs off the side and stood up.
My arms reached over my head, my spine cracking and stretching. I walked over to the kitchen, pulled the refrigerator open and yanked the iced coffee from the shelf. Quickly, I mixed myself a beverage and drank half of it in three solid gulps.
Once the caffeine began burning it's way through me, I drug myself into the bathroom and stared at my reflection.
Well, it could be worse, right?
My icy blue eyes were only so puffy today, my hair freshly washed the night before. My shirt was clean as well, which was an improvement over the last couple of weeks.
I hadn't mentioned to any of the guys that I had been moping for the last two weeks straight. Sixteen days, more specifically.
Since Vinny decided he 'wasn't ready for a committed relationship'. Aside from being devastated, I also found it interesting given we had been dating for over a fucking year.
Fucking producers, man. Snakes - every last one.
I was blindsided by the breakup, and I had let myself feel it full force. My method was to be in pain, depressed, and disgusting for as long as it took for the heartbreak to fade away. If that meant not leaving the house, barely eating, and showering every three days, then so be it.
I did, however, know the boys would be home today, and had to prepare for that. My best friends for a good nine years now, I knew there was no getting out of seeing them as soon as they touched ground in California. I maybe expected a little more time to sleep in, but not much.
It was too early to care about appearances, so I brushed through my dark, chocolate-toned mess of hair and tossed it into a messy ponytail. I pulled my favorite band t-shirt over my head, a Bring Me shirt I got back at Warped Tour in 2012, and slipped into a pair of plain black leggings. My flip-flops would have to do, as I had no desire to hunt down two socks, let alone matching ones.
When I locked my front door, I winced at my nails. I had been biting and pulling at my cuticles for days without even realizing. I needed to get acrylics ASAP. I made a mental note to see if the nail salon had any openings after breakfast.
My deeply tinted sunglasses hid my eyes from the outside world. I hadn't bothered with any makeup this morning, not having the time nor the patience for it.
I hummed idly to my music as I drove the short ten minutes to Reggie's Diner, zoning out mostly. I pulled into the space in front, noticing none of their vehicles were there yet.
Of course.
Fucker wakes me up early, pulls me from the hole I had crawled into, and doesn't even show up on time. How predictable. I pulled a foot up onto the seat, balancing my chin on my knee while I waited.
The music streamed through my speakers, and the lyrics hit me in the chest.
"I guess this is goodbye. I guess we got what we deserved. Hold on to your heart, it's almost over."
"Ugh." I turned the volume down to zero, not wanting those kinds of emotions sinking in.
Before I could dwell too long, a loud, sharp knock came on my window, and I jumped nearly a foot in the air.
Standing in my driver's side window, Folio was pressing his forehead against the glass, making cross-eyed faces. I turned to the windshield, where Nicholas was lifting his shirt up to flash me. Jolly stood next to him, rubbing a palm over his friend's bare stomach, thrusting his hips like a complete moron. To my right, Noah stood at the opposing window, mouth pressed against the glass, puffing out his cheeks.
Tears nearly welled in my eyes at the absolute absurdity of these idiots. God, I fucking missed them.
I scanned the menu for no reason at all, already knowing exactly what I planned to order.
"French toast and an over easy egg, right?" Noah's elbow bumped me, his own menu open in front of him.
I pursed my lips. "No, I actually thought I'd get the waffles with bacon this time."
"Yeah?" He raised an eyebrow, and I cracked a smile.
"Nah, I'm getting French toast."
He snickered, nodding his head. "You always do."
"Yeah, well you always get raspberry lemonade so..."
"What's wrong with lemonade?!" He dropped his menu, eyes scanning me.
"Nothing." He huffed, narrowing his eyes. "Raspberry lemonade though?"
He opened his mouth to retort, but we were interrupted by the waiter. Each taking turns placing our orders, Noah went last, ordering a peach lemonade. I rolled my eyes, and folded my arms on the table, listening to them idly chat.
"I have a feeling that once I get food in me, I'm going to nap for at least eight hours." Jolly chuckled, fiddling with the salt shaker.
"Dude, me too. I think I'm just running on hopes and dreams right now." Nicholas added.
"How was the drive from New York?"
They all groaned in unison. "Fucking long." Folio commented.
"It felt like we were driving through Colorado for a fucking year." Noah tossed his head back.
I bumped him with my shoulder at his theatrics. "Your guys' bus is so bougie, it couldn't have been so bad."
"Once you've been in it for months like we have?" He raised an eyebrow at me. "I never want to see another tour bus again."
They all nodded together, affirming noises under their breaths.
"Don't you leave for the second leg of the tour in, like, eight weeks?"
There was a beat of silence before they all cackled. "Fuck, dude. Don't remind me!" Folio dropped his face in his hands.
Everyone fell into side conversations as we waited for our food. I was listening to Folio tell me about the people he had the opportunity to meet while they were traveling, but I felt my mind wandering, my eyes following, eventually settling on Noah.
Somehow, since I had last seen him three months ago, he managed to get even more muscular. His arms were bigger, and his hair was slightly longer than it was before he left. He had a fresh tattoo on the small patch of open skin on his upper arm, ink still vibrant. He was listening to Jolly, smiling at whatever he was telling him that was so entertaining.
"Mona?" It occurred to me that I missed what Folio was saying to me.
"Huh?" I looked back at him. "Repeat that?"
He smirked. "Space cadet?"
I rolled my eyes. "It's early." He mimicked me, rolling his eyes as well. "What did you ask?"
"I said, how's Vinny?"
My heart sunk, and the lump that I had just managed to swallow reformed in my throat. My face must have given something away, because the entire table fell silent.
"Oh, Vinny..." My stare fell down to my plate, pushing what was left of my French toast around. "He's fine."
Nick lowered his face so he could force me to meet his eyes.
"Everything okay?"
I nodded, biting my lip and trying like hell to smile. "Yeah, all good."
"That's not believable." Nicholas spoke up, pointing a finger at me. The glare I shot at him could’ve sliced right through his skin, had he not deflected with his own. “Care to explain?”
I set my fork down, folding my hands in my lap and folding my shoulders in. I could feel Noah leaning just a fraction closer to me, and my skin was warm where I felt his hoodie pressing against me.
“I don’t, actually. Thank you, though!” I tried to sound as chipper as possible, but it was falling on deaf ears. These morons knew me better than anyone.
“You guys fighting or something?” Jolly piped up between bites of hash.
I shook my head. “Nope.” Dismissive was not a skill I possessed.
“Do I need to fuck him up?” Folio did his best to look intimidating, and this made me cackle.
“No, Nick. No need.”
A bump to my arm made my eyes glance up at Noah, his face concerned. “What’s goin’ on, Mona?”
What was it about that fool that made me crumble like clay?
I sighed hard, leaning back in my chair, and averting my eyes to my plate, fingers now fiddling with my napkin. I could tell they were all looking at me, and it was a heavy feeling.
“Vinny broke it off.”
I don’t think I’ve seen four jaws fall at once before, but there’s a first for everything. I felt Noah tense up next to me, and it took all I had not to lean into him. He didn’t need to be fazed, it wasn’t a big deal…right?
“The fuck?!” Nicholas dropped his fork on his plate. “Why?”
I shrugged in response, pursing my lips. “Who knows.”
“Kicking his ass sounds pretty good, now.” Noah’s words were meant to be humorous, I’m sure. But his tone said otherwise, low and venomous.
When I chanced a look up at him, his eyes were narrowed into dangerous slits, focused on me. My hand gripped his arm, squeezing gently.
“It’s really no big deal, guys. Just wasn’t meant to be.”
“He didn’t give you a reason?” Folio sounded more concerned than angry.
I groaned, leaning my elbows on the table and rubbing my eyes. “Fuck, I guess? He said he wasn’t ready to commit or some bullshit.”
I heard at least two of them suck their teeth in disapproval.
“What horse shit. You guys were together a year.” Jolly wiped his mouth on his napkin.
“It was over a year.” I said, my voice small.
“Didn’t he ask you to move in with him like, three months ago?” Noah sounded like he was in disbelief.
“He did. I turned him down because I was afraid of something like this happening.”
“Mona?” My eyes fell on Folio, his hand now on my shoulder. “When did this happen?”
My face fell, then. I knew they weren’t going to like my answer.
“Like…” I took a breath. “Two and a half weeks ago?”
“What?!” Yep, about what I expected. “Mona! Why didn’t you tell me?” Nick was nearly out of his chair.
“Why would I?” I tried not to look at him, but I knew he was burning a hole in my face.
“Oh fuck, I don’t know.” He scrubbed a hand over his mouth. “Maybe because we’re your best friends!”
I rolled my eyes. “Who were on tour! You guys didn’t need my petty drama while you were working.”
Noah scoffed, turning his body toward me. “And we could’ve just brought you out to finish tour with us.” He glanced around the table, silent agreement from the other guys. “It’s not like we haven’t before.”
He had taken my hands, which felt so tiny in his huge grip. I couldn’t help but smile at him, and then at the rest of them.
“Guys, as amazing as you all are,” I pointedly looked at each of them. “I’m a big girl, and I don’t need my boys coming to my rescue over a little heartbreak.”
Noah’s fingers squeezed me, bringing my attention back to him. “We know that, but we like doing it. So next time, tell us, okay?”
I leaned my face into his chest, his arms circling me in a tight hug. I smiled, feeling safer than I had before they left. When he released me, I smiled at them.
“I love you guys.”
“Mona!” I turned, my keys in hand to unlock my car. Noah was jogging in my direction, the rest of the guys already in their own ride.
“What’s up?”
He stopped in front of me, looking almost like he was losing nerve the longer he stared at me. He tucked his hands in his sweater pocket, now smiling at me sheepishly.
“I just wanted to know, do you have plans today?”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “Uh, just going to get my nails done. Might grab some groceries later. That’s it, though.”
He nodded, kicking his shoe against the asphalt. “Okay, think you’d want to see a movie later?”
This wasn’t out of the ordinary. I had my designated activity that I typically did with each of the guys.
Jolly was a ‘go out to a fine dining restaurant’ type of guy, so he would take us out at least once a month to a new place, and we would spend the evening critiquing the food and atmosphere - as if either of us had any right. It was hilarious.
Nicholas, being the tattoo artist he was, loved the days I took the time to spend in the shop, helping him clean up and hang out. He had very little time to tattoo these days, and when he did, his books were full. I would sit with him, help him sketch, and bring food to the shop. He usually gave me little bangers here and there while we had time, and it helped my tattoo addiction, and my budget, tremendously.
Nick, unsurprisingly, was the nature freak. Luckily for him, I loved to fish. We’d hop on his bike when the weather was right, and head up to Big Bear a few times a year, or hit the piers for saltwater fishing. I never caught much, but he always told the other guys I did.
Noah, however, was a movie guy. Horror, sci-fi, comedy, didn’t matter. If it was in a theater, he wanted to see it. I was all for that. I had a serious affinity for popcorn, and loved to listen to him whisper to me during the movie, or bitch about it on the drive home. Maybe I enjoyed the occasions where I got chilly, and he let me wear his sweater? Or maybe I just liked being alone with him?
When I first met the boys, Noah had instantly stuck out differently than the rest of them. He was stunning, reserved, funny, and glowed like the sun. He had a smile that made my knees buckle and a hug that could swallow me whole. Voice of a siren and talent like none other.
Of course, I had an immediate crush on him.
Something about the way he spoke gave me such pause, my ears yearning to hear every word, hanging on them as they came out. The way he moved, gestured, breathed...it made my skin tingle.
However, when Noah and I met all those years ago, he had a girlfriend. It was disappointing - to say the least - but I respected it, and continued on as his best friend. I put the feelings to bed, and accepted the group of four misfits into my life without hesitation, arms open. Did the feelings eventually relax? Sure.
Something I appreciated about mine and Noah's situation was that I had the opportunity to get to know him better than I ever would have, had we entered into any kind of relationship. I saw him at his very best, but also at his lowest depths. I watched him free fall through his depression. Held his hand while he fought through the shadows within his own mind.
Noah, like myself, had a dark and violent past, so we were always closer. The guys constantly made comments about it, saying we were kindred spirits, begging to be together. It was all very Shakespeare, and we typically brushed it off. We laughed at their silly jokes...but over the years, there had been more than a few long and awkward stares between us.
He never told me he had feelings for me. The words never left his mouth. But did he walk with his arm around me sometimes? Hold my hand at the scariest parts of the movies? Bring me snacks and nap with me when I was sick?
Every. Time.
Until Vinny.
Once Vinny came into the picture, Noah had to take a step back. He had been single for three years - me for four. He had ample time to make some kind of move. He never did. So we sat in comfortable solace. And then Vinny came in, swept me up, and 'ran off with me', as Noah put it. He was upset, but would never admit it. Our movie dates stopped. Sick days were cancelled. And my shoulders were always so cold...
Over a year, Noah and I had been as platonic as brother and sister. It was painful at first, but I think we both got used to it. We hadn't seen a movie together in fifteen months...
"Mona?"
I was pulled from my thoughts and brought back to a very sheepish looking Noah, who looked as though he was about to tell me to forget it.
"Yes! Of course I'll go to the movies with you!" Maybe that came out a little too excited.
It was worth it, however, to see the way his face lit up. "Yeah?" He nodded, hiding his teeth in his smile. "Alright, cool."
I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hide my own enthusiasm. "What're we going to see?"
"Tarot is out, have you heard of it?"
My eyes deadpanned at him. "Looked terrifying."
"Perfect!" He turned to walk away. "I'll look up showtimes?"
I shook my head. "Just pick me up at nine? We'll figure it out from there?"
This made him smirk. "You got it." He began walking back toward his brothers, and I turned to my car door. "Oh!"
I whipped back around.
"Do you need me to bring you a sweatshirt?"
I felt the warmth pool in my gut. Oh, the game was so on.
"Nah." I waved a hand at him. "Yours will do."
-
Was this a date? It wasn't. I was sure it wasn't. It couldn't have been. Not possible. We were best friends. I was reading into this.
Noah had seen me with strep throat. Bought me tampons. Held my hair back while I vomited. There was no way he had feelings for me. He probably viewed me as his gross younger sister. Or his weird cousin who stole his clothes a lot. There was no way.
But I still found myself dialing Nick, staring down at my two outfit options, chewing the skin of my lip to a pulp waiting for him to answer. It took three back-to-back calls before his groggy voice mumbled into the line.
"I'm sleeping."
I rolled my eyes. "I need your help."
"Mona, I'm tired."
"Yeah, well, I was tired at six this morning. Sucks to suck. I need your help." I was now actively pacing my bedroom.
"Ugh, hang on." I could hear him moving around, likely sitting up in bed. A loud groan came on the other end. Stretching. "Alright, whose dying?"
"Nick, I don't know if this is a date."
He spoke through a yawn. "Your thing with Noah? You guys used to always do that shit."
I scoffed. "That was before."
"Before...what?" I could hear the sound of a door opening, and then closing.
"Before," I took a second, but wasn't even certain of what I was thinking anymore. I growled. "just before!"
"Well, that makes a lot of sense, huh?"
I could hear his voice echoing, and then the sound of water running. Wait...not water...
"Are you pissing on the phone with me, you freak?!"
He chuckled at that, still sounding exhausted. "You wake me up? You deal with the consequences."
I made a noise of disgust. "Wash your hands before we finish this conversation."
I could hear the sink running, and then he picked the phone back up.
"I honestly don't get what you're freaking out about, dude."
"Of course you don't get it. You're a cool, nonchalant, unbothered dude! Whereas I'm over here thinking way too much into this and having an anxiety attack!"
"Alright, alright. Calm down." He huffed back down onto his bed. "Talk me through it."
"Okay." I took a deep breath, turning to look at my bed. "I don't know what to wear. Usually, during movie nights with Noah, I wear sweats and a baggy t-shirt. I like to be comfy in the theater, especially since he takes us to the ones with the...uh..." I snapped to think of the word. "recliners! The chairs that lean back? So do I just go with normal attire? Or, do I dress up nicer? Show him I'm interested in this being more than just a typical movie date? Show off a little? Will that give him the wrong impression? Will he think I'm trying too hard? But if I bum it out, will he think I'm a slob and have let myself go since the breakup? I don't know what to do. Don't even get me started on makeup."
"Holy fuck dude, you are freaking out."
My heart was racing at the rate my mouth was moving, but Folio's voice made me snap my jaw shut. I only talked that fast when I was losing my mind.
"Listen," He breathed loudly, likely sinking back down into his pillows. "I get why you're nervous. But this is Noah."
I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I'm aware."
"So that means, the beauty about going on a date with him is that he knows you better than anyone. Even me. So you can be yourself."
"It's a date."
"No shit. Noah has been pining over you since the day you both met. Wouldn't shut up about going to the movies with you all day. It's a date."
All of the blood drained from my face. "Oh."
My heart had froze. Thinking it to myself was one thing, but to hear someone else say it...
"Don't start spiraling. This has been almost a decade in the making. It's going to go fine. Just be you. Wear your comfy clothes. No makeup. Hair loose. You're stupid cute like that."
I felt my cheeks heat up. "Nick, knock it off."
He snickered. "Listen, babe. I may not be the one in love with you, but I can appreciate a fox when I see one."
I almost dropped the phone as my stomach lurched. "You said what just now?!"
Realizing his error, Nick's voice jumped several octaves. "No! No no no! I didn't mean it like that! It's a figure of speech!"
I felt my chest tighten. "Oh fuck..."
"Nope. Mona, listen to me! I was just using the phrase to prove a point! He's not in love with you!"
"He's not?"
"No, I mean...he is...well, he's never..." I could feel the vein in my neck threatening to burst. "Shit."
I sat on my bed, wiping my now damp palms on my pant legs.
"Listen, don't listen to me. I'm half asleep and I smoked before I went to bed, so I'm still a little faded. Just..." He took a hard breath. "Just be you, Mona. Regardless of how deep he feels for you, I know he's excited to just hang with you. He's kept you at arms length for over a year, out of respect. Now that he's allowed to get close again," I could hear the smirk in his voice. "I'm not sure he'll let you get too far anymore."
Something about that calmed me. That's why I called Folio. Despite my near-stroke, he knew how to talk me off of pretty much any ledge that I found myself inching toward.
"Okay. So comfy clothes, hair down, no makeup?"
"Right. But wear your jewelry."
My eyebrow raised in curiosity. "Yeah?"
"You know those rings you wear? And the choker? He thinks they're sexy."
I waited impatiently at the bottom of the apartment building, fingers pulling at the long sleeves of my shirt. Although I fully intended to snitch his hoodie, it was still too brisk to go completely unprotected.
His truck pulled up at five till nine, right on time. I hopped into the passenger's side easily, and cherished the familiar smell of him. I missed it something awful.
"Hey!" I looked over at him. Clearly, he had the same idea as I did, wearing his joggers, plain black hoodie, and his hair still wet from a shower. He looked so clean...edible. My mouth watered at the idea.
"Hey!" He reached over to pull me into a half-hug, letting his hand linger on my arm. His eyes glanced over me, lingering maybe a second or two longer on my neck. My black 90s style choker sat tight on my skin. He ran his fingers down my arm to my hand, running his thumb over the stone of the ring on my index finger.
Thank you, Folio.
"Multiplex has a showtime in thirty minutes?"
I smiled brightly. "Perfect!"
The drive was short, and we were bounding into the building, arm in arm, same as always. "We're getting popcorn?"
He smirked. "And candy."
After obtaining our goodies, we made our way into the theater, finding our seats. Before he leaned his back, he shrugged out of his sweater, dropping it in my lap. I looked over at him, and he only threw a wink at me. I slipped it on easily, sinking deep into the fabric.
The movie was scary...but it wasn't great. The story was very over-done. Teenagers in a place they shouldn't be. Fucking with stuff they shouldn't be. End up cursed and killed one by one.
Sounds like Evil Dead, right? Nope.
Cabin In The Woods? Nope.
Talk To Me? Nope.
Tarot, ladies and gentlemen.
I would admit, the jump scares would get me. During the first one, where the priestess jumps at the girl in the attic, I physically jumped, which caused Noah to grab my hand, and physically pull me into his side. I hid my face under the sleeve of the sweater, only watching from the top of my field of vision. The next jump, I nearly scrambled into his lap. He laughed at me for that.
By the final jump scare, I wasn't watching the movie anymore. My legs were over his lap, and his hand was tracing up and down my back. My ear pressed to his chest, I could hear his heart beating fast. Although he continued to watch the movie, laughing at the deaths, and chewing popcorn, I could tell Noah was just as nervous as I.
During one particularly horrific scene where a girl was being sawed in half...alive...I had to turn my face away from the screen.
"It's alright, they're barely showing anything." He whispered into my hair.
"You know I have a thing about being cut up alive." It gave me the creeps. Nightmare-fuel.
He chuckled. "I'll tell you when you can look."
The moment lasted far too long, the girl’s screams ringing in my ears as my fingers clutched at his shirt. After the scene had flipped, I let my body relax.
"It's over, baby."
The word.
He never called me that.
Mona. Mo'. Babes. Darling. Lady. Rick (Don't ask).
But 'baby'?
Never. Not once.
I pulled my face away from the soft cotton of his shirt, and instead of looking at the screen, I stared at him. Face lit by the lights of the movie flashing, I could see his eyes staring back down at me.
I couldn't have imagined the energy change. The voices in the background faded into a dull blur, not interesting me enough to see anything but him.
His lips were shiny, as if he had licked them. Maybe it was the butter from the popcorn.
I didn't care, because in that moment, they were mine for the taking.
Without any forethought, I grabbed his face, and pressed my mouth to his, feeling how soft his lips were. God, I had been missing out.
His arms tightened around me, leaning down to press himself against my body. His tongue pressed into my mouth, and my eyes rolled back behind my lids. I breathed into him, letting him feel everything I had been holding back for almost a decade.
Oh wow. Noah. It was always Noah.
Something inside my soul woke up. Something in my brain sparked to life and roared like a once-dead battery recharged.
Noah was it. He was what I was missing.
When we finally disconnected, his eyes looked about as blown as mine, breathing heavily. I just let my lips crack in a smile, my hand catching in his hair and knitting into the loose strands.
Our beautiful, incredible moment, was interrupted suddenly by a bright light flashing directly in our eyes. We looked over at the source, seeing a worker stood, flashlight pointed at us.
"Guys," He walked closer, voice hushed. "I get this movie is rated R, but you've got to go somewhere else to do all of that."
I sunk back into my seat, and Noah did the same. We both blushed hard, looking at each other, and giggling in embarrassment. We finished the last of the forgettable film in our respective chairs, our fingers still interlaced on the arm rests.
"Your aim sucks." His finger picked up the M&M out of his lap, and I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Yours is no better, dork." I giggled as I popped one in my mouth.
The overlook of the city lights glittered beside us, below the hill we parked on. The hatch of Noah's Navigator popped open, we sat in the back across from each other.
Since leaving the theater, we hadn't had any physical contact. I'm almost certain we were both too nervous. I wasn't sure how to get that magic back, but going home and parting company sounded torturous, so I recommended we go back to our spot.
It was customary to park here, just up the road from his house, secluded and quiet. We usually sat and debriefed the film we had just watched, but that didn't take long. We both agreed it was too stereotypical, agreeing it was only a 4/10.
After that, I recommended we play twenty questions...to stall, of course.
"It's your turn, punk."
I rolled the candy around in my mouth, and pursed my lips. "Mkay." I thought for a moment. "How many girls did you sleep with on this last tour?"
I wasn't sure when the questions turned dirty, but he seemed unfazed by it.
"Two. But they were meh." He poised his hand to toss another chocolate, and I opened my mouth.
"Yeah? Not the best?"
The candy missed and struck my nose, which I caught in my hand when it fell.
"Pretty much."
I nodded, ignoring the pull I felt in my stomach. I had nothing to be bothered by, so I ignored it.
"Your turn."
"Mm," He tossed another candy, making it onto my tongue this time. "What's your favorite position?"
I chuckled. "That's so stupid."
"Why?"
"Because, how many are there?"
He leaned against the siding of the truck, putting a handful of M&Ms in his mouth. "Kama Sutra says there's over a hundred."
I shook my head, giggling. "Well, I don't really have a favorite."
He rolled his eyes. "Everyone has their favorite."
"What's yours then?"
"Nope." He held up a finger. "Not your turn."
I shrugged. "Fine." I mulled it over for a moment, looking out at the lights. "Probably cowgirl. I'm old-fashioned."
He eyed me, as if he was suspicious. "Hmm," Popping the last candy in his mouth, he crumpled the bag in his hand. "I don't believe you."
"Why not?"
"It's too boring."
I raised my eyebrows. "You think I'm boring?"
He laughed. "No, I'm saying I don't believe you are."
"Because...?"
He shrugged then, almost looking cautious. After a moment, he pulled his knees up, resting his arms on them and interlocking his fingers. "I overheard Vinny talking once. He said you were a real freak in bed."
Something about that made my spine straighten and my blood run cold.
"Did he now?" My eyes were glaring at him.
He didn't falter. "He did. And I almost knocked his teeth in, but I don't doubt it."
"Why is that?"
His lips turned up in a small smile. "I just have a feeling."
His tone was menacing, and something about it made me swallow hard. I was caught between feeling mortified and turned on. Noah was always so relaxed and collected. I had never seen him look so...hungry.
"And you?"
"Me, what?"
Matching his energy, I sat up and leaned back on my arms. "Are you kinky? Or vanilla?"
I could see his lips twitch, caught off guard by my flip of power. "Define kinky?"
"Well," I leaned forward, leaving very little space between our faces. "do you have any dark things you like to do in bed? Anything...taboo?"
I could see his eyes watching my mouth as it moved. "I don't know."
Letting my tongue trace over my bottom lip, I smirked. "No? You've never had the chance to do anything different?"
He raised an eyebrow, now looking confused. "I mean, I'm not into like...feet, or anything, if that's what you mean?"
My eyes widened, and I couldn't stop the harsh, blistering laugh that busted out of me, making me lean back. Tears fell from my eyes, and I almost choked in the process.
I heard him laugh too, kicking a leg at me. "Hey, sorry I'm so vanilla."
I continued to cackle like a hyena, but sat up, holding my ribcage. "I'm sorry. Jesus, that was hilarious."
He rolled his eyes, clearly uneasy about his answer, but his smile was so warm, I couldn't help but reach out and grab his hand.
"It's your turn."
He sucked his teeth. "I thought it was yours?"
I huffed out the last of my laughter. "Fuck, I lost track."
"Alright, I'll go." He sighed, face now turning serious. "Was Vinny good in bed?"
His tone wasn’t playful, but I was still recovering from my fit of giggles. "Fuck no."
His eyes popped open. "Seriously?"
I wiped at my tears, sniffling. "Not at all, dude. He thought doggy style was kinky. He also referred to my chest as 'voluptuous'. Nothing kills a mood faster, let me tell you."
Now he was laughing, and I tossed my water bottle at him in response.
"It's not funny! He was awful!"
"So why'd you stay over a year?" He asked through his laughter.
"Cause." That was all I was giving on that subject.
"Did he at least make you come?"
Shaking my head, I made a gross face. "No. I usually finished after he would leave."
"Ugh, that's sad."
I rolled my eyes. "You're telling me. Guy thought eating pussy meant making out with it..."
Noah stilled, his eyes getting dark. "What a shame. Some guys have no finesse."
I felt small under his eyes, suddenly needing to switch topics off of me.
"My turn."
He just nodded in response.
"I want to go back to this kink thing." He stretched his legs and linked his hands behind his head, waiting. "Do you like it rough?"
"To me? Or to someone else?"
"Either?"
He smiled. "Both."
"Biting?"
He thought for a second. "Only sometimes."
"Choking?"
He snickered. "Yes."
Feeling brave, I sat up on my knees, slipping the hoodie over my head, and continued my interrogation.
"Dirty talking?"
"Give me an example."
I inched toward him, crawling on my hands until I was hovering over his legs. "Do you like telling her she's a good girl?"
"I suppose." His hands fell to his sides, palms up. "If she's being one."
Cocking my head to the side, I brought a hand up to his knee. "And do you like it when she begs?"
I watched as the Adam's apple in his throat bobbed. "Yes."
Slowly, my hand trailed up his thigh. "And what if she calls you names?"
His eyes scanned my face. "Like what?"
I smirked. "There's a lot of options. Sir. Master." I let a finger trace where I knew his anime tattoo was. "Daddy?"
Visibly, his sweats jumped when I said it, making my eyes shoot up to him, a demonic smile crossing my face.
"That's the one, isn't it?"
Sitting up quickly, he got in my face, his voice deadly serious.
"You know, you've asked me seven questions now. I think it's my turn."
I leaned back, moving to sit on my ass again, now under his heated stare. I just nodded.
"How long have you been thinking about me?"
My voice caught in my throat, confused. "W-What?"
He moved closer, looming over me. "How long has it been since you started picturing us together?"
I could feel his breath on my face, which made it impossible to construct a lie.
"Years."
"Have you ever thought of me when you were touching yourself?"
Oh God.
"Yes."
"Did you ever picture me, when you were with Vinny?"
It was suddenly really fucking hot out here.
"Yes."
His teeth flashed at me, ravenous.
"Do you want me to do all those things to you, that he never could?"
"Jesus Christ, Noah." It came out only as a breath.
"That's not an answer."
"Yes."
"Do you want me to lay you down right here? And eat your pussy until you're falling apart? Until you can't fucking remember how to breathe?"
Insert cause of death here.
"Y-Yes."
"You sure?" His lips were level with my ear now, voice so dangerously quiet.
"Yes," Finding the last of my spunk, I tilted my lips up, and let my eyes fell on him. "Daddy."
Somehow, I hadn't noticed that he had pulled his keys from his pocket, and suddenly, the hatch was closing. I only had a chance to look at it for a split second before I was being pushed onto my back, my sweats being pulled down off my hips. I giggled at the sudden change of energy, knowing I had flipped a switch in Noah. He leaned over me, suffocating me with a warm kiss, pressing himself down on my body.
He lifted off of me just enough to look me in the eyes. "You sure?"
He repeated his previous question, but this time with a touch less heat behind it. He was looking for permission.
Always the gentleman.
I brought my hands to either side of his face, forcing him to look me in the eyes.
"Noah," I pressed a quick kiss to his lips, and smiled. "I've never wanted anyone more than I want you in this moment."
His cheeks warmed under my fingers, and he gave me the most terrifying smile I had ever seen.
His hand slipped down into my panties, fingers slipping lazily between my lips, and I wriggled, gripping his shirt.
"Oh." My voice stuttered, and he licked a stripe up the side of my neck.
"Don't worry, baby. I've got you." One finger circled around my clit, and I pressed my hips up for more contact. "You've got yourself so worked up already."
Breathing becoming more difficult, I let my eyes fall closed. His hand slipped away from me to pull my panties down to my thighs, and I felt his body weight move off of me.
I opened my eyes to see where he went, but almost fell unconscious at the sight of him perched between my legs, hands bracing my knees. Without warning, he lifted me, arching my back upwards to lift my core to his face.
His lips latched to my sweet spot, and my vision almost went white. "Fuck!" I screamed, but he just opened his eyes to look directly at me.
He flattened his tongue, pressing it to my pussy with long strokes, pulling moans out of me at a rhythmic pace. My hands scratched at the floor, trying to find anything to grab onto.
Finally settling on latching onto his arms, my nails dug into the back of his skin as he tormented me, face pressing further and further against my core. I let my fingernails rip down the skin on his forearms, panting and thrashing against him. He let out a deep, guttural grown in response.
"Noah, fucking hell. I'm going to come."
He pulled his face away, replacing it with his hand, pressing a finger inside me and pressing it into that spot that had me almost crying.
"Ask me nicely, baby."
"Noah, please. Please!" I was desperate to feel his mouth on me again, trying like hell to not buck too hard.
"Nope. You know what I need, pretty girl."
Confused, I wracked my melting brain for what he was looking for. His finger laid on a pressure that made stars fly in my field of view, making it hard to concentrate.
Until, I realized...
"Please, Daddy, I want to come. Please." I couldn't seem to get enough air into my lungs.
He smiled, looking inhuman. My head rolled back and forth, wild.
"Mm, no problem, baby." And he was back on me, the tip of his tongue drawing my climax closer. His finger still pressed into me, and I'm fairly certain a second slipped in at some point.
It was so much, it was so beautiful. I was going to actually explode.
"Ugh, Daddy. That's it. I need it. Fuck, please. Don't stop." At this point, I was just babbling. Whatever I could to ensure he didn't stop.
When his lips grabbed onto me, an impossible suction that had my head swirling, I felt the orgasm crash into me, a sharp scream escaping.
Carefully, he set me down, and his fingers slipped out. When I cracked my eyes open, I caught the slightest glimpse of him sucking them into his mouth. I had never seen anything so raunchy, and it made my muscles twitch, already wanting more.
He sat back against the hatch, chest rising heavily, and stared at me.
He was gauging, and I could tell. He wanted to ascertain whether I was about to regret what just happened.
He's insane if he thought I could ever regret that.
Noah looked wrecked. His sweats bulged violently, begging for relief. I sat up slowly, letting the blood flow come back to the rest of my body. Carefully, I sat up on all fours, and crawled toward him. He didn't say a word, just following me with his eyes.
"That was amazing." I smiled an appreciative grin, looking up at him through my lashes. "How could I ever show my gratitude?"
I could see he was stunned, so I took the initiative to reach for his pants, pulling them down in the front, letting his erection free to stare me in the face. Taking a few long seconds to appreciate it, I looked back up, eyes innocent.
"Would you like it if I choked on your cock, Daddy?"
His pupils were so dilated, I swore his eyes were completely black. He nodded slowly, reaching a hand up to run his thumb down my cheek, and hooking my chin, forcing my mouth open.
His other hand now grasping my hair, he pressed me down onto his dick, my mouth swallowing it down as far as I could before I felt my gag reflex hit. A harsh choke came out of me, and his hand loosened.
I just inhaled a breath and swallowed him down again, picking up a pace.
A long, sweet moan erupted from his chest, his head falling back as he watched me work.
"Jesus, Mona." His other hand gripped the side of my face, catching a tear rolling down my cheekbone. "So fucking beautiful."
I felt his cock hardening, knowing he wouldn't last long this way.
"You enjoy being obedient, don't you?"
I smiled around his cock, stopping to lick a long stripe down the length to his sack, catching some of the skin between my lips for a second.
"Ah, fuck." His mouth had fallen open, eyes rolling back. "Going to swallow my come, pretty girl? You're so fucking desperate for it."
His hand shoved me down onto his cock harder, pressing himself past my tonsils and straight into the back of my throat. I coughed harshly, but he didn't let up, head leaning back and eyes rolling with it.
"So close, baby. So fucking close."
With every ounce I had, I hollowed my cheeks and sucked him as if trying to drain his life force right out. His fingers tangled in my hair ripped at my scalp.
"Fuck, I'm-" But he was cut off by his own release, his chest tensing and hand holding me in place, head pressed firmly against my gag reflex, the come hot as it hit me. I relaxed, letting my muscles swallow it down without incident.
Noah's body slumped back, and his hand loosened. Fighting for breath, I leaned my face against his leg, just gathering my thoughts.
It took me a moment to notice he was running his fingers through my hair, smoothing the knots he had created. I hummed against him before sitting up, and letting my eyes search his face - exhausted.
He looked so pretty like this. His hair was sticking to his forehead from sweat, his veins in his neck slowly relaxing, and his arms loose and sprawled out.
He caught me staring, and raised an eyebrow. "What?"
I just smirked, shaking my head. "Nothin'."
After about thirty minutes of semi-awkward silence and cleaning up as best as we could in the back of a vehicle, Noah and I made our way back to his place. It was late, so we made every effort to be silent as we made our way up to his room. It wasn't until he was putting the key in the lock of his door that we heard the voice behind us.
"Use protection."
Folio's voice made us both freeze, and our eyes looked back to where his door was closing across the hall. An embarrassed smile flashed over my face, and he just chuckled quietly before pulling me into his room.
It was familiar. I had been here hundreds of times, so I made myself comfortable, dropping my bag on his computer desk and kicking my shoes off next to all of his pairs. When I turned around, Noah was sitting on the bed, hands on his knees, and a look I didn't recognize on his face.
Concern? No, fear? I wasn't sure.
"What's wrong?"
He was chewing on his bottom lip, and I walked over to him, slotting into the place between his legs. His eyes, so fucking big, so sparkly, stared up at me. They looked soft. Vulnerable.
"I like you, Mona."
It was a very regular statement. There wasn't a certain word or emphasis that made it special. But it was. Because now things had changed. Noah wasn't just Noah anymore. He was something different. And the words may have been ordinary, but they sounded as if they should've been spoken in a confessional.
It was warming, and they made me smile.
"I like you too, Noah."
His fingers came to grip my waist, squeezing me gently. "I've liked you a long time."
Nodding, I placed my hands on the tops of his shoulders. "Same."
He shrugged hard, looking up and down my being, working out what he wanted to say.
"I want you to be happy."
I was a little confused. "Okay?"
His fingers pressed in harder. "I want to make you happy."
Remember getting butterflies when you were little? When a rollercoaster dropped? Or a cute boy smiled at you?
"You do make me happy."
He moved his hands to grab my own, and held them between us. "I want to be with you, Mona."
It was silly, I'm sure, but I was fucking giddy. Internally I was kicking my feet and squealing like a mouse. Disgusting.
"Noah?" His eyes were fixed on me, so he just twitched his brow in response. "Are you saying..." I swallowed theatrically, feigning anxiety. "you want to go steady?"
The smile that flashed across his face was blinding, all thirty-two teeth flashing like a beacon. I giggled, unable to hold back after making such an idiotic joke. He just followed suit, pulling me into a hug, his face pressed into my chest.
My arms wrapped around his neck and I rested my cheek on the top of his head.
"You're so stupid." His voice came out muffled against my breasts.
My chest shook, now laughing harder. "You like me."
He pulled back, and his hand reached to pull me closer by the back of my neck, pressing his lips against me softly. When he pulled away, his words came out as the softest whisper.
"So much."
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oh oh oh i have an idea, imagine roommate!robin coming home and catching reader masturbating and moaning her name , could it pleeeaasssee end in smut 🫣
𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 - 𝐑.𝐁.
roommate!robin x fem!reader
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2444
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ mature content! (MDNI), masturbation, getting caught, fingering, kind of fluffy-ish in the end, that wasn't even intentional but i hope you don't mind lmao, not proofread
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: thank you so much for all the requests!!! i can't wait to write them! anyway, i should be studying right now because i have plenty of exams coming up but i guess that can wait- also this is kind of a modern au because my silly brain added wireless headphones- anyway new au unlocked??? roommate robin...?
ever since you've moved in with your new roommate, she's been all you could think about.
things could have been easy; you could've gone to college, focus on your courses, and graduated top of the class just like you always imagined. that's what you've worked so hard for.
but then you met your new roommate and all those plans had been thrown out of the window, replaced by the sweet image of her.
of robin buckley.
she is as old as you are, but therefore much taller.
her height immediately had you thinking about what it might be like to kiss her. if she would lean down or if you'd have to get on the tip of your toes to do so.
if her strong arms would hold you and, if so, what that might be like.
a hundred different thoughts all at once, just from the first sight of her.
it obviously doesn't get better the more you get to know her.
she's the kind of roommate who puts effort into really knowing you, that much you can tell.
she waits for you to finish breakfast, helps you with the cooking, and plans movie nights for the two of you.
you appreciate that she is as caring but, god, that woman is driving you crazy.
the way her arm finds its way around your shoulder while you're sitting on the couch, her body, and the way it looks when she's cleaning up the apartment in nothing but a pair of shorts and a sports bra...
when she's around it's almost like you're a whole new version of yourself, almost like a teenager who is falling in love all over again.
except that that can't be, right?
but even when she isn't, her presence somehow has a hold on you and it lingers long after she has left your side.
it gets even worse when finals are right around the corner. a time when you have to focus and really can not afford to get distracted.
but it's not like your emotions seem to care much about that; even when you're seated behind your desk with a massive pile of notes spread out before you, your mind keeps wandering.
you can't help yourself but imagine her behind you, with both hands on your shoulder, squeezing ever so slightly.
you exhale shakily at that image your mind is creating.
it's almost like you can actually hear her voice, whispering into your ear:
"oh you've worked so hard already, haven't you? you're all tensed...here let me help..."
you groan and slam your palm onto the tabletop frustrated, an attempt to get the imaginary robin away from you.
"shit, shit, shit"
you press the heel of your hands over your eyes and shake your head energetically.
what's the point of this anyway? the imaginary robin has been right about one thing: your whole body is tensed and your mind is exhausted from taking in all the information.
circumstances under which studying is impossible.
and besides, a wicked idea has crept its way into your mind that might help you with stress relief.
you let your gaze wander over the notes one last time before you shake your head and get up, peeling off clothing pieces as you walk toward the bed.
when you drop yourself onto the covers, you're in nothing but your underwear.
you don't even bother to lock the door. robin has gone on a run and you know she won't be back so soon, giving you the perfect opportunity.
your eyes flutter shut when you let your fingertips run down your body, over the curve of your breasts, all the way down to your hipbone.
you exhale loudly, feeling your muscles relax against your touch.
when your hand reaches the hemline of your panties, you take one look back at your chair, thinking back to robin.
what would have happened if that little scenario had been real, you wonder.
would she help you relax? would she kiss down your spine the way you want her to, her lips soft against your skin?
would she spread her thighs apart with her palms before bringing her lips to where you need her the most?
it's almost like you can feel her hands on you, fingers trailing down your hips until all the way to your pussy.
a whimper falls from your lips when your hand cups you through your panties, a wet spot already leaking through the thin fabric.
you push yourself further into the bed, with one hand still between your thighs while the other is massaging your breasts softly.
even though you could probably tease yourself for hours, you know this is not the time -considering all the work that's left to do.
you bring your fingers down to your entrance and your eyes immediately roll back when you feel them starting to penetrate you.
⋆
robin is still wearing her headphones, music blasting into her ears when she enters the apartment.
it has started raining outside and -to avoid a cold- she has chosen to return back to your shared apartment.
she knows her roommate is studying, so she closes the door as quietly as possible.
she puts away the keys and kicks her shoes off before walking into the living room.
while she walks, she pushes the headphones off her ears.
but when her feet carry her further into the apartment and past the hallway that leads to both of your rooms, she is caught completely off guard.
the noise that just came from your door most definitely doesn't sound like studying.
she stops in her tracks and turns her head slowly as if to make sure that she did not just imagine that.
she hasn't.
a breathy moan echoes through the apartment. the apartment, from which you seem to think that it's empty, robin concludes.
she inhales slowly, her eyes widened at the noise.
robin has always wondered what you might sound like.
she knows that this is so wrong. that she should do something -anything- to let you know that you're no longer alone.
maybe close the door with more force again or clear her throat.
but she doesn't. she wants to, she really does, but she physically can not turn away.
she walks towards your door slowly, somehow hungry to hear more.
hearing your pretty moan has sent a wave of heat right to her center and robin is dying to know where this might go.
your door isn't fully closed, leaving a small gap that allows her not just to listen but also to see what is going on behind it.
and what she sees takes her breath away.
⋆
you're spread out on your bed. you have chosen to ditch your panties as well, giving yourself even better access to your throbbing cunt.
your head is thrown back and pleasure rushes through your veins with every curl of your fingers.
with both eyes still closed, you can't help yourself but imagine robin's pretty face lingering above yours.
the moans leave your lips almost automatically at this point and you don't even bother to try to hold them back.
the squelching sounds from your center echo through the room and you can quite literally feel just how wet you are -how wet the thought of robin manages to get you.
"oh yes-" you exhale. "fuck yes- robin"
her name feels so good on your lips. almost like you can taste the shape of each letter on your tongue.
you can feel your orgasm approaching now, the hot coil tightening more and more with every stroke of your hand.
you roll your hips against yourself, chasing the height in desperate need for your release.
but just when you think it's about to wash over you, you hear the noise of a creaking door and it vanishes into nothingness.
your eyes fly open, only to find that your door has been pushed open.
and behind it stands robin herself, her eyes wide in shock, but also something entirely different.
instinctively, you close your legs and remove your hand from your panties. it is almost painful, this close to your orgasm.
"oh- god" you choke out. "robin i- fuck"
she must have heard. there is no way that she didn't.
"y/n" robin whispers. "holy shit"
it takes a second for you to understand but when it hits you, you're just as surprised as you are turned on; that is most definitely arousal in her voice.
you bite your lower lip and she watches you for a second of complete silence.
when she finally speaks, you are delighted by her words.
"look you can tell me if I'm mistaken and i swear I'll leave but-"
she crosses her arms ad leans against the doorframe, a gesture that has you clenching around nothing.
"was that my name you were calling just now pretty girl?"
your jaw drops at her bluntness but your head is already nodding before your mind can even catch up on what is happening.
"want me to join you?"
"please"
you don't even have time to fully register it; one second she's leaning against the doorframe and the next she's crawling towards your very much exposed body.
you sit up when she reaches you, gladly welcoming her soft hands on your neck.
"can i kiss you?" robin whispers. the rasp in her voice is even more prominent when she gets like this.
you nod and add a little "yes", and then her lips meet yours.
this is everything you've ever dreamed of in those months of liking her from afar.
but now, with her lips on yours and her hands on you, it is better than in any of your little secret fantasies.
you are far too gone to care when you part your lips, practically begging for her tongue.
robin gets the hint and the kiss grows more passionate as her tongue begins roaming your mouth.
the sinful moan that erupts from your throat is music to her ears and she presses against you suggestively, signalizing for you to lay back again.
your eyes go a little wider but you as you're told.
"t-touch me please"
robin just chuckles in response. "oh don't you worry about that"
her lips meet the skin right below your ear before they wander lower at a fast pace, leaving kisses and light bites wherever they go.
"but i need to see you first" she breathes. "that okay?"
you don't answer. instead, you reach out yourself and unclasp your bra, only to throw it across the room.
robin just stares, her lips parted and her eyes full of lust.
"like what you see?" you manage, the heat between your legs growing even further at the way she's gaping at you.
her head nods slowly and she leans in, kissing the valley between your breasts.
"fuck robin" you cry when her lips wrap around your nipple and suck.
the sensation is nothing compared to what your own fingers can do and you pray that this won't be the only time she'll do this for you.
your fingers curl in her hair and you push her closer to your chest.
"f-fuck me please"
you can feel her stupid little smirk against your skin and roll your eyes in mock annoyance.
"are you sure?" she whispers gently and looks up at you, her chin resting on your breasts.
you lick your lips and nod at her. "i- i want this robin. please-"
"okay, okay. don't worry. i promise I'll make you feel really good okay?"
and you fucking whimper without her even touching you.
that is about to change though, her fingers slowly running down your body all while she never breaks the eye contact.
your lips part and you let out a soft "oh" when her digits reach your needy cunt.
robin's eyes flicker when she feels your wetness against her skin.
"all that for me?"
you rock your hips upwards and nod. the strength to keep your eyes open as left you and all you care about is for robin to finally, finally fuck you.
in any other case, she might have teased some more, to listen to your desperate begging. but now, with your arousal dripping down her wrist robin can't stop herself.
"god, fuck, y/n you're so wet" she moans, your whole body tensing up at the sweet way her voice sounds when she's moaning like that.
finally, she slips a single finger into you, meeting no resistance at all.
you immediately start fucking yourself on her long, delicate fingers, but a hand on your hip steadies you.
"shhh" robin mumbles. "don't worry babe, let me take care of you okay?"
you are already painfully aware that you won't last long like this, but when she thrusts into you for the first time, adding a second finger as she does so, you nearly lose it.
"fuck" you cry out. "oh god, fuck, yes-"
robin chuckles against your skin, her breath hot on you, before pumping into you at a steady but rather slow pace.
this won't do it yet.
she curls her fingers and your legs shake violently. that's much more like it already.
"you're so fucking pretty like this" robin mumbles. "i imagined how you might look like, but god, this is so much better"
you pull her closer, wanting to feel her on you when she makes you cum.
all you can do is mumble a little "hmh" in return.
"and you wanted this too, didn't you?" her fingers pick up their pace. "you wanted to get fucked by me huh? that's why you were calling my name out like that...fuck, y/n...you should've just asked"
you spread your legs a little wider when robin begins rubbing tight circles around your clit.
you can feel your walls flutter around her, sucking her deeper into you.
"robin- gonna cum- please"
"it's okay" she whispers gently. "cum for me baby"
your toes curl and your back arches into her. all you can really control is the way your fist tightens in her hair and pulls her impossibly closer to you.
that tingly feeling that's been building up for way too long explodes and takes over you entirely.
you clench your thighs around her hand while she fucks you through your orgasm.
"robin, robin, robin..." the name keeps falling from your lips softly.
"I'm here...I've got you"
she gently pulls her fingers out of you when you have come down from your thighs and crawls up your body again.
your lips meet hers in a searing kiss.
"i really should have asked" you mumble, voice still shaky. "i really like you robin"
she smiles. "i really like you too y/n"
#robin buckley#robin buckley x reader#robin buckley x female reader#robin buckley x y/n#robin buckley x you#robin buckley fanfic#robin buckley smut#robin buckley imagine#stranger things#stranger things x reader
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Dating Valak Would Include…
Pairing: Valak x Fem! Reader.
Warnings: Valak is a warning himself, SFW & NSFW, Headcannons become nsfw after —///—, Fingering, Oral sex (male and female receiving), Public sex, Demon sex, Teratophilia? (Monster fucking), Implied murder, I kinda bully the reader in the beginning for dating a demon even though I'm desperate to.
Summary: What it would be like to date Valak.
Writing Time: 40 minutes.
Word Count: 614.
Format: Headcannons.
A/N:
From my old Tumblr again.
Thanks for requesting! I love writing for Valak, I'm so wet for him, please request more for him. Headcannons become nsfw after —///— ! Only read the beginning half of you're only here for sfw content!
---///---
• Girl I think you might be crazy.
• Like dating a demon? You might be mad.
• You know girls who typically date older guys have daddy issues? Right, well this can't just be daddy issues.
• Might be a different kind of issues too.
• Like your parents must of forced to go to Church and pray and all that religious bs for you to be like this now.
• Religious issues?
• Anyway, despite all my bullying, I'd say Valak is a great lover.
• Seriously, he takes you and everything you do or care about seriously.
• For example, you get hungry but are too lazy to cook so rather starve, Valak will go out of his way to bring you food.
• Yes, human food. Obviously he hates it or doesn't have any need to human food but he still cares about you and knows you need it.
• Or someone at work is giving you shit, they randomly go missing.
• What did you expect? Valak is a demon, of course he's a yandere type lover.
• Well, not exactly yandere.
• Like I don't think he'll force you to obey him and shit.
• He kinda just likes to watch from behind the scenes.
• So if you decide to go out late, he won't stop you but he will absolutely follow.
• You really really want this expensive whatever (clothes, shoes, toy) but can't afford it?
• Valak is already spooking the shop owner to steal it and give to you.
—///—
• Valak is the best lover in bed too, if you're good with spooking shit.
• Which you should be, you're dating a demon.
• He will absolutely tie you down and fuck the brains out of you with his gigantic humanoid cock.
• Yeah, his dick isn't normal btw.
• Like far too big to be human.
• Also grey like the rest of him.
• He also likes to just watch sometimes, give him a nice show and touch yourself and he will nearly cum just from watching you get yourself off.
• I'll bet having his eyes on you whilst your doing something so filthy and private helps you get off too.
• Valak want to beg for his big dick but even if you do there is no guarantee he'll give it to you.
• Valak has no shame.
• So yes he will make himself invisible and finger you in public.
• Will also eat you out in public too.
• You're only hope is to run somewhere private and safe.
• Most of the time Valak will let you but sometimes he won't.
• He's can be a little shit sometimes.
• Easiest way to get him to do something for you is to suck him off.
• Even if you have no chance of taking all of him in your mouth, he still appreciates the effort.
• Or better yet, lay on your back in front of him, spread your legs, start touching yourself and beg for his cock.
• Again, no guarantee you'll get it, but it will make him hard as a rock and probably jerk him dick off till his jizz is covering your face.
• Then he'll be completely smitten for you.
#stitched#stitched talks#stitched mouth#stitched writes#valak smut#valak the nun#valak x reader#valak#the nun x reader#the nun ii#the nun smut#the nun#the nun ii x reader
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Y/N and Harry are expecting a baby, and they’re both very impatient.
happy 5k to meee! when I made this account at the height of the pandemic in 2020 to pass the time i would’ve never thought i would’ve made the friends i have or gotten so much support with my writing!! thank you besties! i hope you enjoy!
warnings: smut
please buy me a coffee to celebrate! :D
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
“I just don't think we need three different kinds of bottle warmers, love.”
Y/N looks at her husband looking down at the half-full cart that’s now one bottle warmer fuller. According to every baby blog and “new mom” website she scoured, bottle warmers were a must-have. However, there was no general consensus on the best one. Y/N didn't really see any other option but to try a ton. (Besides, it's not like he couldn’t afford it.)
“Then tell me which one’s the best.”
Harry's eyebrows wrinkle in confusion. “How would I know which bottle warmer is the best?”
“How would I know?”
He opens his mouth to quip back but can't think of anything to say because once again she's right. How would she know?
“Ok, darling,” he resumes pushing the cart through the aisle with a defeated sigh. “You're right.”
A credit card swipe and a short 15-minute car ride later they’re home, depositing all their recent purchases in the half-complete nursery. It was nearly stuffed to the brim with clothes and instructions for toys Harry began assembling but never completed and baby wipes and strollers and now, three different types of bottle warmers that it was a little overwhelming. The good kind, though.
By the time they finish that, they’re knackered, sprawled out on the couch with the tv playing lowly in the background.
“How does stir fry sound for dinner?” Harry absentmindedly traces over her plush thighs with the pads of his fingers while he seeks her approval. “I don’t think those bell peppers in the fridge have got much longer.”
“Mmm, sounds good,” she cranes her neck up to look at him, not wanting to leave her position on his chest. “Not too spicy, please. I can’t handle it right now.”
“I know, love.”
Y/N knows Harry knows, but she still reminds him anyway. He gently helps her up and guides her to the kitchen, lifting her up on the counter so she could cut up the vegetables while he stood at the stove and cooked the chicken. He’s about to sprinkle a generous amount of red pepper flakes atop the chicken when he remembers her polite request that he doesn't make it too spicy and he sets it down, deciding he’ll add it to his own portion separately.
“I think these are all chopped up.”
Harry hums and walks over to where Y/N is positioned on the counter to inspect her handy work. Most everything she knows in the kitchen she learned from Harry, and he definitely still teases her about her skills with a knife. At least she tries!
While the look on Harry’s face tells her he thinks her chopping skills look like that of a ten-year-old, all he says is, “Looks great, darling! You’re so helpful.” (The pregnancy has made Y/N more sensitive than usual and Harry knows she's liable to cry over the tiniest things so he’s been extra sweet to her)
With the chicken now simmering on low, Harry adds the vegetables to the dish and adds a bit of water to help soften it faster, making sure to add a generous amount of seasoning. Y/N appreciated this because she wasn't the biggest fan of vegetables (especially peas and broccoli, which Harry coincidentally loved) so whatever he did to make them even the tiniest bit tastier was helpful.
Twenty minutes later they're enjoying dinner, bowls filled with heaping piles of steaming rice and chicken-veggie stir-fry. Harry stands in between Y/N's legs while she’s sitting on the counter (occasionally giving her bites of his food even though they’re eating the exact same thing).
“Who taught you how to be such a good cook?” Y/N randomly questions in between a mouthful of food. She knows the answer is Anne, but she just likes stroking Harry’s ego sometimes.
“My mum,” he answers. “And lots of practice. I could teach you…”
“I’d rather not.”
Harry chuckles at his wife’s hatred for cooking. “Luckily for you, it brings me great pleasure to cook for beautiful women,” Y/N narrows her eyes at him, “I mean you. My beautiful woman. Don't give me that look.”
“Are you gonna make baby food from scratch, too?”
Harry raises his eyebrows in consideration, pressing a quick kiss to the tip of Y/N’s nose. “There’s a thought… hadn’t even thought about that. I can do that.”
“I mean, you did say you love cooking for beautiful women.”
“I do,” Harry smiles at his wife for a few moments before the look on his face changes to one of accusation. “Are you trying to tell me something? Did you look?”
“Okay listen, I may have taken a tiny peek at the monitor when we were at the check-up on Tuesday…”
“Y/N!”
“I couldn’t help myself, Harry! I don’t know how you haven’t been going crazy over it,” she absentmindedly rests her hand on her stomach. “If I didn’t know I���d probably be so annoying right now.”
“That’s true. I’m sure you would be.”
Y/N playfully reprimands Harry by swatting his bicep. “You love how annoying I am. It’s why you married me. You said it in your vows, remember? There’s no going back now.”
Harry kisses the side of Y/N’s neck, then travels up to the sweet spot right below her ear before moving to the apples of her cheeks and then finally, her soft lips. “I wouldn’t dream of going back on it. Tell me more about this baby girl we’re having, since you like to ruin surprises.”
“I can’t help my wandering eyes!”
“Oh, I’m sure,” Harry responds sarcastically. “Are we telling people?”
“I think it’ll be fun if we kept it our little secret,” she reaches up to play with the curls at the nape of Harry’s neck. “Maybe we’ll tell your mum and mine. We’ll see.”
“You’re right,” his hand travels up the back of Y/N's shirt. She shivers at the feeling of his cool rings against her warm back, “Instagram post instead?”
“Harry!”
“I’m joking, love!”
“Help me down from here. My butt’s numb.”
“Have you been thinking of names while you’ve gone all this time knowing without me?” Harry easily lifts her off the counter, not removing his hands from her waist even once she’s steady on her feet.
“H, it’s only been two days.”
“Two days longer than I’ve known,” he bends down just enough to ghost his lips over yours. “Come sit on my lap. Let’s brainstorm.”
Harry gently guides her toward the direction of the living room, plopping down first on the couch so he could pull her into his lap. There was no other place Harry preferred Y/N to be than in his lap whenever he was around her.
“Are you upset that I peeked when we were supposed to wait?”
His eyes soften. “Of course ‘m not mad. I guess since we’re being honest I may as well admit that I took a peek, too.”
“Harry! Why were you gonna let me think I was the only impatient one?”
“You’re just easy to mess with,” he pulls her flush against his body. “I was gonna see how long I could keep it up, but I can’t do it anymore. I feel too bad.”
“When did you peek?”
“Right after you did.”
Y/N lets out a dramatic gasp, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “You saw me? I thought I was being sneaky!”
“I’m sorry to say you’re not as sneaky as you think you are,” he fiddles with the strap of her tank top, pushing it down her arm slowly. “I admire the effort though - it’s very cute, love.”
“Thank you,” Y/N cocks her head to the side. “Are you happy? That we’re having a girl?”
“Y/N, I’m so happy that I don’t think I can properly put into words how I’m feeling,” his hands travel along her back. “I’m even happier I’m having a baby with you. I don’t care about anything but having a healthy baby with you.”
“H, you’re gonna make me cry,” Y/N says dramatically, a small pout on her chapped lips. “You’re very cheesy - I love you so much. How did I get so lucky?”
“Would you believe me if I said I asked myself that same question every day when I wake up beside you?” Harry taps her on her side. “C’mon, up you go.”
Y/N lets out a little groan. “Why? I just got comfortable. Your lap is the best seat in the house.”
“Wanna show you how much I love you and how happy I am that you’re giving me a baby girl,” Y/N’s eyes widen as she scrambles off her husbands lap and onto the empty space beside him, legs folding beneath her. “Can I have a taste?”
“I thought we were discussing baby names?” Y/N jokes.
“I think we should do this first,” Harry drops to his knees, “Turn around f’me, darling- on your knees- yeah, just like that,” and immediately attaches his mouth to her clit, giving a firm suck. He quickly moves to her slit and licks up it, collecting her wetness on his tongue. Y/N can tell by his quick pace and sloppy licks that he's feeling plain desperate, and she momentarily wonders to herself how long he's been in this type of mood.
Almost as if he's read her mind, Harry pulls back and says, “Been wanting to get in between these pretty thighs since we were comparing all those bloody bottle warmers at the store…” before diving back in. She turns to watch as he pokes and prods at her holes with the tip of his tongue, working faster the heavier she begins to breathe. His palm rests on her ass cheek, which also aids in keeping her spread open for him. Harry places three pecks on her clit before removing his mouth from her core just long enough to turn her around so her bottom was on the couch instead.
Harry hooks his right arm under Y/N’s left leg and throws it over his shoulder, using two fingers to rub over her clit. He lowers his head back down and attaches his lips to her bud again, looking up through his lashes at her. Y/N uses her shoulders to support her body weight, using one hand to lift her tank top and tweak her nipples while the other tangles in Harry’s curls. His tongue flicks back and forth over her clit as he locks eyes with her before sticking his middle finger in his mouth and inserting it in her heat.
“Harry, I love you,” Y/N tells her husband breathlessly, voice filled with lust. “I love you so much. I’m so- oh!”
She lets out a sharp gasp once Harry adds two more fingers in one swift push, easily accommodating to fit his digits. His fingers burn in the best way possible, and she can’t wait to feel his cock. The whole time Harry’s fingering Y/N he’s giving her sweet praises–telling her she always opens up so well for him, that she get so fucking wet, that she tastes sweeter and better than the finest desserts. It’s nearly too much.
“I can’t put into words how much I love you,” Harry whispers as he relentlessly curls his three fingers up over and over again to stimulate that spongy spot deep inside of her. “I want you to cum for me, my love. Cum for me so I can get inside you, hm? Can you do that for me?”
Y/N’s mouth falls open in a silent scream as she releases all over Harry’s fingers, clenching so tightly around him that he has to tell her to relax so he can comfortably pull them out.
“S’fuckin’ tight…” he mutters moreso to himself, pulling his joggers and boxers down to his ankles in one swift go. “All mine?”
“All yours,” she responds so quickly she nearly sounds pathetic. “Please, H. Just give it to me please-”
Harry pushes Y/N up and back onto the couch so her back is against the armrest. “Comfortable?”
Y/N’s heart swells a tiny bit at her husbands concern for her comfort even when he was having her in such a filthy state. “Very. Please fuck me.”
Harry slips himself inside Y/N’s warm heat, letting out a quiet groan of relief at the feeling. Y/N whimpers and locks her legs around Harry and he takes that as his cue to move. He slides out nearly all the way before slamming his hips back inside her, grunting loudy in pleasure.
“That’s a good girl…just take it, darling,” he snaps his hips quickly into her, skin slapping against skin. “Lay there and take it like a good girl…My good girl…”
Tiny moans esacpe Y/N’s mouth and she doesn’t try to suppress them in the slightest, wanting her husband to hear how good he was making her feel. He always made her feel good, always put her pleasure first.
“My clit, p-please,” Y/N stutters out, reaching for Harry’s hand so she can place it at her core. Harry places his hand at her core and begins rubbing in hard, tight circles, knowing exactly how to stroke Y/N to bring her to her release.
“Tell me how good it feels.”
“So, so good. Gonna cum, H,” Y/N moans, bucking her hips up so they meet Harry’s. “Don’t stop H, please don’t stop!”
“Yeah? You’re there, angel?” his thrusts become impossibly faster. “Me too, baby. You first. Cum for me, Y/N.”
Y/N orgasms for the second time that night, waves of pleasure washing over her body that satisfy her in the best way possible. Harry’s not far behind her - his hips stutter to a stop before he lays his weight on top of her and cums, being mindful not to lay directly atop her bump.
The couple lay in silence for what feels like ages, basking in the afterglow of their sex and orgasms. Harry places a chaste kiss to the top of Y/N’s head before gently untangling himself from her, already thinking about which bath bomb he wanted to use when he went upstairs to run her a bath in a moment.
“So, about those baby names…”
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .
Please let me know what you think! and please buy me a coffee to celebrate! :D
#harry styles smut#harry styles#harry styles fic#harry styles fluff#harry styles fanfiction#harry concept#harry styles oneshot#harry styles x reader#harry styles x y/n
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One handsome boy with a glass of wine from one video about Australia forced me.
Yes, yes, Mr. Ricciardo, I can't go to bed because of you.
✨️Imagine✨️
This story is in the style of "The Taming of the Scoundrel", that's just it...
Max hates every second of this trip. They've been on the road for two hours now. The dust of the dirt road does not allow the windows to be opened, so the driver turned on the air conditioner, which dries Max's mouth and nasal mucosa. The young man's mind is spinning with the idea of how to get rid of this place.
The fact is that Max Emilian Verstappen is rich and can afford anything he wants. He can buy anything for himself or for his beloved. His ex wanted this vineyard, she wanted to have her own business, she wanted to sell wine, spend her holidays in this mansion and fuck outdoors.
In the video, one of Max's employees (a handsome guy with a big nose, curls peeking out from under a hat and tanned skin) he danced in a barrel, in a barrel in which there were grapes, grapes that go to the production of wine. And all this is for the amusement of the rest of the staff.
But then she liked fucking the barkeeper at the club more. And Max kept the vineyard for himself. He wasn't fond of winemaking. He didn't even like wine, but the thought that his ex's dream was in his hands warmed his heart. Although sometimes Max realized that it was stupid. For example, he understands this right now after watching an Instagram video of his own winery.
What the hell?! Are they making fun of Max in this way? People will never buy this wine in their lives, Max will suffer losses, the winery will not pay off. In the end, the sale of this post may fail!
🍇🍇🍇
"You can't sell us!"
"Of course I'm not going to sell people, just the vineyard."
Daniel chuckled, but his expression didn't change. Actually, this Daniel turns out to be not such a jerk. He treats the workers well, and the winery is thriving under his leadership. But Max is still outraged by his dancing on grapes. Daniel's argument was that it was faster and more fun, and he supposedly washed his feet before that. But from Max's side, it turns out that Max wasted a lot of money on equipment for crushing grapes, which is not used.
"Everyone will receive the compensation promised under the contract, perhaps the new owner will even leave someone."
Daniel went to the railing of the terrace. He was leaning on the railing, looking at the vineyards and looked so damn good that Max periodically stopped thinking coherently.
"Come on, buddy. All these people don't just work here. They live here, they live this business, you can't just kick them out."
He was so damn attractive. Max found him in this terrace when this curly-haired charm dipped his nose into a glass of wine and then made some notes in a notebook next to it.
Daniel is attractive but not so attractive that Max decided to keep the winery for himself.
Buddy. Did he call him buddy?
"Did you call me a buddy?"
"Come on, you'll like this place as soon as you really appreciate it, and you won't treat it like a reminder of your ex."
"You're taking too much on yourself, mister Ricciardo."
"And you," Daniel poked a finger at Max's chest. "You've been clinging to your past, for old grudges, for too long. Stay here for a week and you will completely change your mind... Or you can continue to be a petty rich boy."
Max was going to break that finger and that pretty face, but first he's going to get this guy...
🍇🍇🍇
"Hurry up, we'll be late for the presentation."
"How overbearing."
"You like it."
"But I liked you right away."
"You didn't like this place a year ago."
#Too beautiful gifs#I haven't watched the video about Australia yet#but I'm already very impressed#I wrote this half sleepy#half after sleep#do not judge strictly#I love Celentano too much#And of course#daniel ricciardo#max verstappen#maxiel#max/daniel#mv33#dr3#mv1#somebody write this please#rookie on tumblr
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noooo omg seven days yoongi is such a sweetheart 😭😭 what happened next? did they go out on a date? how is oc introduced to that side of yoongi? omfg daddyyyy 😭😭😭
Went a bit overboard OOPS-
"Hara knows we're meeting up here, by the way." Yoongi tells you as he opens the door to his hotel room, inviting you in. "I thought that might make you feel a bit more at ease." He tells you, helping you out of your jacket after closing the door, catching you a bit off guard- but you let him anyways.
"Uh, yeah, actually it does." You nod, thanking him for both the gesture and the fact that he'd informed your best friend that you're here.
"So, you're about Hara's age, right?" He says as he motions down to a spot for you to sit, food already on the small table where he sits down at as well, on the opposite side. "Means you're younger than me by a good few years." He chuckles, opening some of the takeout containers.
You nod, quietly. You're not sure what to really tell him.
He's probably used to people having the wildest life's, the craziest stories and whatnot- and you don't really have any of that. You live a quiet life, don't go outside much and if you do, you're just a grey mouse, nothing special to see, just another living being existing amongst many others. You're boring.
"Not much of a talker?" He asks, and you shrug.
"Just.. don't have anything to say." You admit almost shamefully, and he shrugs as well, offering you some plastic cutlery you take with a quiet 'thanks' from him. "I just.. kind of, exist. That's it." You try and joke, but he just smiles, nodding to himself.
"And that's a very good thing." He agrees, starting to eat. "Otherwise how would I've met you?" He flirts, and you can't help but have to take in a deep breath.
It's hard not to get affected by a guy flirting with you like this- let alone a celebrity of all people. And he's exactly your type too- he's got this awfully specific aura about him, calm and relaxed and most of all caring.
You've never been taken care of. By no one.
He wants to remind you that you can tell him if he makes you uncomfortable, but he doesn't actually have to- you're an open book with the way you don't mask your body language at all, making him read you pretty clearly just from observing you. "So, tell me a bit about yourself." He offers you a chance to talk, taking a sip from his soda. "Even the boring stuff you think I don't want to know." He smirks at you, catching you in your attempt to tell him exactly that-
That you don't have anything to tell but boring things.
"I uh.. I work, mostly. And when I don't, I walk dogs at my local shelter- because I can't have one in my apartment." You explain. "So I kind of.. substitute." You shrug, and he nods.
"I'm sure they appreciate it." He agrees, and you become a lot more relaxed at that- making him smile to himself as he leans back a bit, watching you.
"There's an elderly labrador mix that- she's been just given to the shelter for no real reason, and has been there for years now because she's old and has black fur and is a bit slow.." You rant, occasionally stopping to eat. "But she's really sweet, and knows a lot of cool tricks. She doesn't even technically need a leash! Though she's become a bit hard of hearing lately.." You ramble on.
"Does your landlord not allow dogs?" He wonders, and you nod.
"No. He doesn't like them- and because I missed one rent in the past, he's kind of constantly searching for a reason to kick me out." You mumble. "So I rather try and stay low, so I can keep living there." You explain.
"I guess sometimes life plays like that." He shrugs, licking his lips. "How about you'd move?" He wonders. You shake your head almost immediately.
"I.. can't afford it, and I'm also a little.. attached to that small apartment." You offer. "I don't like new things, or surprises, or.. just anything I can't predict." Is what you offer as an explanation, and he nods, interested.
"Creature of habit, hm?" He observes, and you nod. "Nothing wrong with that. We find comfort in things we can rely on. I like to re-watch the same movie sometimes, simply because I know it ends well." He says, and your eyes widen at that.
"Me too!" You tell him, and again, he can't help but admire your smile. "I love watching old movies or the same episodes of my favorite shows sometimes, even though I can basically recite the dialog by memory now." You giggle, and he nods.
"Have you ever been in a relationship before?" He wonders, and has to watch how your smile deflates a bit, clearly a touchy topic for you.
"Hmhm." You nod. "But.. I'm not good at relationships." You say.
"How so?" He wonders, and you shrug, poking at your food.
"I'm too clingy." You explain. "But at the same time, I'm too boring." You continue. "I don't like going to parties, or outside in general. I rather stay in, or just.. dunno. Cook together maybe."
"So I guess because you both didn't match, he made you feel like it's your fault to make himself feel better." He simply observes.
"No- I really am too boring, I need to get out of my comfort zone more.." You admit. "I only have Hara as a friend for example. I should have more friends, right?" You wonder, but he shakes his head.
"Not necessarily." he denies. "The less friends you have, the easier to manage. I don't have many friends either." He shrugs. "But.." He starts, hand at his chin as he watches you. "I might be able to help you with getting out of your comfort zone more." He offers.
"I.. how?" You wonder, and the corners of his lips raise.
"How about.. an offer."
#bts imagine#bts fanfic#bts fic#yoongi imagine#bts yoongi imagine#min yoongi imagines#min yoongi imagine#yoongi imagines
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tl;dr this is a mutual aid post. I'm a queer, disabled nonbinary person facing loss of housing after removing my coparent's abusive mother from my home. Above is cat tax. I know everyone's struggling right now and I'm not asking anyone to put themselves out, just hit the reblog button if that's all you're able to do!
Hi! My name's October and in November 2023 my coparent and I had to remove their abusive mother from our house. This has been a long and incredibly difficult process that has also resulted in a roughly 60% loss of income, and our car which is... monumental. This coupled with the fact that I broke my arm and am a gig worker has basically decimated us.
We've been making it work the best we can but we're now reaching a point that necessary medication has run out and we can't afford to get it, I'm pretty routinely going four and five days between meals, rent's behind, shit's hard and I need help. I am currently setting up a gofundme but in the meantime this is my cry for help. Every resource we have is being allocated to keeping the kids taken care of, and we're falling through the cracks.
If you can help at all, and frankly if you need video edited or know anyone who does, I would really greatly appreciate it. Even a reblog, any kind of a share could be life changing right now.
My ca$happ is: $gourdwitch My coparent's paypal can be found here
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Journal of a Questioning Otherkin (Entry 2) (Repost)
This morning I woke up and immediately was hit with a massive amount of dysphoria. It was as if every fiber of my being was screaming with the pain of being confined inside of the wrong body. I just felt awful in a way that is almost impossible to put into words. My skin was crawling because something inside me just knew that this skin was wrong. I felt wrong. It really hurts, mourning a body that I know I'll never have.
The dysphoria hasn't been quite this bad before. All these years I've suppressed the feeling deep down inside of me, pretending it was fine, but now that I finally see it for what it is, I can't pretend anymore. I can't just ignore it and hope it fixes itself.
I started to dissociate due to how bad I was feeling and I wasn't able to think, or really do much of anything for the entire day. The brain fog was just that severe. I realized that this brain fog and dissociative spells might have been affecting me for years and I hadn't even realized that's what it is.
I really need to figure out how to cope with that feeling of dysphoria better, because I really can't afford to spend every day in a dissociative haze, riddled with anxiety, and unable to get basic tasks done.
I am struggling and I don't know what to do. I'm so new to all this. How do you connect to your kintype? What does it mean to be a pokemon? What does it mean to be an Umbreon? How do I figure that out, and how can I help alleviate that all encompassing dysphoria? Right now it feels hopeless, but I know logically that isn't true.
On a different, less depressing note-
In an attempt to explore more about myself and to distance myself from the concept of being human, I decided to try out it/its pronouns. I had an interesting experience with that, but my findings were largely that it didn't feel euphoric, but also, it surprisingly didn't feel bad either. Perhaps there is something there, but as of yet, I don't quite know. Trying out Bre/Bre's/Breself was actually kind of nice too.
I've never gone by any pronouns other than he/him before, so this is new to me. If this ends up developing further, I could potentially see using He/it/bre. The dehumanizing aspect of it/its is nice, but I still strongly feel connected to my identity as male and don't want to discard those pronouns.
I've already done my soul searching in regards to gender, and I'm confident and comfortable identifying as male, despite being very gender non-conforming. However, that's neither here nor there at the moment.
And ending on a little funny note, a friend that I haven't talked to at all about any of this identity fuckery sent me this today. My friends send me Umbreon related posts because they know I like Umbreon, but I found it hilarious and ironic that they sent this to me and had no idea how relevant this really was to me right now.
Anyways, long story short, today sucked. Dysphoria hit so hard that it caused a full day of dissociation. I still feel very good about being an Umbreon Fictionkin, but I'm doing my best to be open and considering possible alternatives. I try not to fall victim to confirmation bias.
Any tips from otherkin (especially fellow pokemonkin) on how to handle dysphoria and connect to your kintype would be greatly appreciated! Until next time.
#otherkin#fictionkin#therian#therianthropy#theriotype#kintype#eevee kin#pokemon kin#alterhuman#alterhumanity#pokemonkin#pokekin#pkmnkin#eeveekin#eeveelutionkin#umbreonkin
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I don't know if you write about Tsaritsa but... Do you think you can write a Tsaritsa x fem reader? There is not enough fanfic about her 😭
HELP ANON I don't write for the Tsaritsa (yet) because there are not even crumbs for her, there are only microscopic particles 💀 But just for you I will whip up some stuff for her and her lover 😌 Now that I've typed I realize some of these are just general but pls bear with me lmao
I like to think Tsaritsa was good friends with the other Archons in the beginning, before all the Khaenri'ah stuff happened. Venti even pranked her in the past. So after she cut contact and isolated herself from everyone she probably gets sad and lonely from time to time, wondering if what she's doing is truly the right thing. If you haven't met the other Archons she will tell you some stories about them. If you have met them, presumably because you have been with her since the beginning/for hundreds of years, she will still get nostalgic and bring up old memories again. Tsaritsa's methods and tactics can be heartless and cruel but... she still is the God of love. She misses who she was before she had to take on this incredible burden. You have to comfort her and hold her during these times. She values any kind of comfort. She appreciates you greatly for sticking by her side despite her sins. Wanderer mentions that love is another form of sin. She may view her love to you as a kind of sin, or something she doesn't deserve, so she will make sure to treasure you greatly. You are afforded the best in like... everything. I could elaborate but just think of anything you want of the highest quality. If she can't get her hands on it, one of her Harbingers will.
Sorry but you are not leaving Snezhnaya. Tsaritsa is very fearful of losing you after what she's been through. If she lost the only person she has left she doesn't know what she'd do. She has made an enemy of the whole world so your safety is very important. If you were ever hurt or wronged by the divine/Celestia it would only harden her resolve to take them down for good. After she takes them down, I think she would want to step down from her Archon role. Her job is done and her people can live freely now. Delulu moment: You two would disappear and go live a peaceful life somewhere else. She would change her form so no one would recognize her and then you would introduce her to the way of life of an average married couple.
Speaking of, sometimes she likes to change her form to go out among the streets of Snezhnaya. She really does care about her people. She's just gotten bad at showing it ever since she started the Fatui and their missions. In her changed form she likes to observe the happenings of her nation. If she finds out there are unresolved conflicts going on, she'll make sure the Fatui deals with it. Tsaritsa also has a nice singing voice. She likes to sing to the kids too and listen to their stories. And she sings to you too of course. Lullabies, mostly. When she finally returns she will tell you all about what happened. Of course her skin is very cold. It has never bothered her but it probably will catch you off guard quite often. So Tsaritsa wears longer clothes so you can cuddle her without getting too cold. She doesn't mind if you sit on her big throne. She thinks it's cute. If you're brave enough to sit on her lap during a Harbinger meeting that's up to you. Obviously, you are owed the same respect as Tsaritsa herself. Even the Harbingers know not to upset you. Though if you want some friends they're the best choice. Tsaritsa doesn't mind as she thinks very fondly of them.
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