#FATHER FORGIVE ME FOR DRAWING HIM WITH A GAY LITTLE HIP THING

[sphor-art]

ok yall im tentatively back

[lezziemanville]

Fic Prompt: Barbara x Melissa (of course! They are my new obsession and you are the absolute best at writing them)

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned" vs "Sorry daddy, I've been bad" Barbara tries to pray the gay away because the sexual tension between her and Melissa has gotten out of control. Melissa overhears her prayers as she passes by Barb's room to leave for the day, and gives her something else to thank God for. First kiss/ makeout fic

*Bonus if one or more of their colleagues walks in on them*

(You’re so sweet! This prompt is kind of amazing?? And I don’t know that I’ve done it justice but I hope it’s enjoyable just the same!)

To say that Barbara is on edge these days is an understatement. Her feelings for Melissa have begun to consume her waking hours. Sure, it’s been years since she began having stirrings but they’d always been manageable, something she could tuck away into a near little cubby with the children’s school supplies and toys.

Now it seems like every time she’s around the woman, she’s regressed to puberty — all damp palms and stuttering and fidgety fingers. She wonders if Melissa’s noticed, hopes to God she hasn’t.

That’s another thing — God. She’s never believed that having feelings for someone of the same-sex is wrong, nor a sin. She never gave credence to religious values she found outdated and subjective. She considers herself open-minded and open-hearted. But she’s a married woman.

She took a vow to honor her husband and she’s fairly certain that lusting after another person is not part of that promise. She’s been married for twenty years and a lot can happen in that time. People change, grow apart, learn things about themselves that don’t quite fit the box they’d settled in. He’s a good man, treats her well. He’s always been understanding and supportive. It’s hard to break up with someone who’s so consistently kind to you.

Still she’s never felt for Gerald the way she feels for Melissa. Doesn’t think about him every moment of every day. Has never dreamed about him, awakened and fervently chased the memory of it; Doesn’t say things just to see him smile.

The bell rings and Melissa waits in her classroom for each parent to pick up their child. She walks others to the pick up meeting area at the school’s entrance and helps them into their parent’s cars. It’s a lot of smiling and accepting compliments, a lot of touting children’s accomplishments and ‘see you tomorrow’.

At the end of it she returns to her empty classroom. She straightens the desks, one by one. Tucks a few stray crayons into the appropriate supply boxes, folds the small square blankets on the nap time rug. She glances down at the symbol on the rug, thinks of Melissa using her connections and wits to make miracles happen.

She looks around assuring she’s alone before lowering herself to her knees on the stadium carpet, ghosting her fingertips over the pile. Even that small gesture, on something as innocuous as a carpet makes her stomach flutter.

She drops her head, clasps her hands together. It’s less a prayer and more a plea, whispered and wrought with torment, “Lord, may I find it within myself to resist temptation for my best friend.”

She suddenly feels a hand at her shoulder and it startles her, cheeks aflame from being caught in such a private confession.

Melissa lowers herself to the carpet beside Barbara, reaches a hand up to cup Barbara’s face. It looks as though she’s attempting to find the right words but Melissa settles on leaning into her, drawing their lips together in a slow, savory kiss.

It’s the proverbial last straw. All hope for any resisting temptation completely lost. Barbara takes charge then, easing Melissa on to her back on the rug beneath her. She straddles her hips, watches as Melissa’s eyelashes sink low across her eyes and her head rolls back with a gasp.

They’re so lost in the moment that neither hears the door open and close again. Nor do they see Janine down the hall, smiling giddily into one of the film crew’s cameras.

“And what has you so happy?” The crewman asks, boom operator lowering his mic into her speaking range.

“I have two moms!”

[primad0nna]

My Everything || Valk/Ela

Valkyrie and Ela oneshot in which Valk visits her beautiful girlfriend and asks her an important question. { written for my amazing gf @gay-for-iq <3 }

This post contains: Drug usage, mentions of NSFW content, and lotsa fluff

Her house smelled like weed, which wasn’t out of the ordinary. Getting high was a hobby of Ela’s and she admired it. It brought her back to the days where Valk and Ela would sit in Valkyrie’s backyard and share a blunt or two, giggling at anything and everything. On the weekends they’d always go out longboarding then at sunset they’d go to their favourite secluded spot by the lake, pull out a bong and smoke until the stars came out. Valk inhaled deeply and set her backpack on the kitchen table, a single rose in hand, exhaling with a grin on her face. There was loud music blaring from the speakers, the beat sounding familiar. Once she realized it was Run Wild by Thutmose she started grooving her way to the living room. Ela was playing the air guitar in her sports bra and PJ pants. It was cute; something nobody really gotta see.

“Having fun?” She raised an eyebrow at Ela, twirling the flower in her hand.

“Can’t hear you.” Ela replied back, still jamming to her song.

Ela was a free spirit off duty and also very creative. Every painting on Ela’s wall was made by either Ela herself or from one of her favourite painters. There was a particular painting Valkyrie liked. It had two naked girls painted on it in a very provocative pose Nobody else really knew it was the two of them except for her, Ela, and the artist. Everything in Ela’s house was different and very unique. She had a modern look but some of her shit was oddly shaped and that’s what she liked. Ela was very unique and once you really got to know her off duty, she was a beautiful human being... who could also punch your teeth in.

The way Ela moved was smooth and on beat. Valk liked to joke and say she could dance better than any other white girl she’s seen. That always ended with Ela chuckling and shaking her head. The song ended and the green haired girl paused her music. “You’re late, you know.” Ela raised an eyebrow, waltzing over to her girlfriend, taking the rose out of her hand.

“Sorry, babe, the florist, uh..” Valk scratched the back of her neck.

Oh god it was that beautiful smile Ela gave her when Valk did something small like this. It always made her heart flutter and her knees weak.

“Well, English wasn’t her first language. Let’s just leave it at that.” She could feel the hearts bubbling around her and her arms began shaking. This girl made her weak, as previously stated before, and her mind foggy. Ela was on her mind all day and sometimes she’d miss important details to missions just because her mind was elsewhere... But it was all worth it.

“Hm.” Ela let her playlist shuffle. 

Oh no.

I’ll Still Have Me by CYN started playing. It was such a beautiful song and she was surprised Ela even had it on her playlist. Ela must have stolen it from Valk’s playlist while she wasn’t looking. Sure Valk seemed like one of the boys but she did love her slow songs too. Valk offered a hand and persuaded her to dance with a sweet smile. Ela gladly took her hand and swayed to the beat. Valk looked deep into Ela’s eyes, sighing happily. Ela was her safe place and her home. She was her person. 

“I’m surprised your hair isn’t in that tiny ponytail.” Valk raised an eyebrow at her, admiring the messy hair she had. 

“Oh you missed it, darling, it was up for a little bit but it must’ve fallen out while I was napping.” Ela shrugged. 

“You look-”

“If you’re going to tell me I look beautiful, you’re going to get punched.”

“Well, I was going for ‘adorable’ but that works too.” Valk scrunched her nose. 

There it was; the chuckle and head shake. And just like that her knees felt like they were going to give out on her. Her hands were definitely shaking and she knew Ela could tell. Ela wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s neck, head resting on her neck. You know, the typical slow dance. Valk placed her hands on Ela’s hips and buried her face into Ela. Every human being has their own scent and Ela’s was her favourite smell in the world. It was so comforting and it made her feel like everything was going to be okay.

For the time being it didn’t feel like time was going at all. These are the moments Valk loved. Having her girlfriend close to her and in such an intimate way just felt so right. 

I will see you in part of me and who I was back then If I don’t have you, at least I still have me. And if I don’t have you, at least I still have me.

“What’s the rose for?” Ela whispered, rubbing her finger on the stem and letting her thumb break off one of the thorns.

“Do you remember that promise I made about sending you a rose for everything I love about you?”

“You’re still adding on? I should at least have a 10 by now.”

“Two dozen, now, actually.”

“Hmm, then what’s today’s?”

“You feel my hands shaking? That’s because of your smile. I love the smile you give me when I say something stupid or romantic. Whenever you smile it’s like the heavens are telling me that it’s safe and the world will be all right.” Valk’s cheeks were a bright pink and she could feel it.

Ela’s head was filled with all the reasons she loved her and she could feel a smile creeping along her lips.

This first one is simple. I love your style. 

You’re unlike anyone I know and you’re your own person.

You don’t let anyone control you and you take charge when you feel like something could possibly fail.

You’re very creative and talented in the arts. I could never draw and I admire you when you’re painting. You’re so focused and determined to get your drawings just the way you want it.

You might be a professional soldier but you still pushed to keep your hair colour. That’s so beautiful.

You can handle yourself well.

This is a touchy one but even though your father didn’t favour you like he did Zofia, you still love him like he did and visit his grave when you can. Especially on Father’s Day.

Your skin is so soft and it’s so delicate. I could suck on your skin lightly and you’ll get a mark so easily. I’m surprised your concealer can cover up all the hickeys I’ve given you. That leads to my next five. I love the way you moan in my ear while I’m fucking you. I love how you whimper while I’m eating you out. I love when your legs shake afterwards and you walk like you’re drunk. I love your lips on mine and my skin. Most of all, I love how you whisper ‘I love you’ even when you’re out of breath.

I love how you we can laugh at scary movies together and how dumb people are. You know, because they haven’t had military training like we have. I’m pretty sure that person would be dead in minutes if they crossed us.

I love your face on Christmas when you open the gifts I picked out for you. You don’t take things for granted and it’s not about what I’ve gotten you. It’s the thought that counts and you appreciate every little thing.

I love the way your face lights up when your favourite artists post new projects.

This one might be odd but I love how you fight. The way you, well we, but it was mainly you, beat that dude’s ass at the bar for calling us faggots and abominations. That was hot. You are so strong.

You’re a great solider and your aim is impeccable.

You’re very independent and you don’t need me or anyone but you want us to stay.

You’re so good with kids when they approach you and ask you about your hair. It was cute when the little girl asked when the pictures were gonna appear on her skin and when her hair is going to turn green. Also how you interact with my little niece is adorable.

You don’t notice this one but when you really get focused on something you stick your tongue out and suck on your lips.

You always leave an extra tip to add on what I give. My favourite game we play is “Tip the Bill” and even then you do it.

You always offer the last hit even if I say ‘I’m done for now’. 

By the time Ela was done daydreaming about all the roses she has received, the song was over and Valk had taken her chin with her index finger and thumb and looked deep into her eyes. 

“You’re my world and my rock. Nothing could ever come between us. And now I think it’s time for you to know how I really feel.” Valkyrie placed a small kiss upon Ela’s lips.

“This has been the best 5 years of my life and I know I’ve said this before but I couldn’t be happier. You are so kind, badass, and just amazing. You’re everything I could ever ask for. I love you and all of your flaws. Everything has fallen into place just perfectly. We have gone through all the good and terrible. We might fight and it might get ugly at times but we always make sure to never go to bed upset. I hope you can forgive me for everything I have done, which I know you have already but it’s nice to know that you’ll say it, and every mean thing we have swapped to each other. And I am so very happy you got the house you’ve been eyeing for a while. It fits you well. You’re the woman of my dreams and my prayers have been answered.” Meghan knelt down on one knee and pulled out a ring from her jacket pocket, looking up at her girlfriend lovingly. “Elżbieta Bosak, will you make my last dream come true and be my wife?”

Ela gasped and turned a bright red, covering her mouth with one hand. She screamed and nodded her head. “Of course!” She exclaimed. This day couldn’t have gotten any better.

Valkyrie put the ring on her now fiancee’s finger and got up, cupping Ela’s cheek and kissing her deeply. A single happy tear streamed down Ela’s face as she kissed Valk just as passionately. It felt like her soul had left her body and burst into fireworks. Now it was Ela’s turn to feel weak in the knees. The rest of the night was spent watching movies and smoking as much weed as their lungs could handle. 

[lotsabuns13]

Nothing Can Prepare You

I’ve never posted on Tumblr before and this is kinda a bit depressing to be my first post but I just felt the need to share my story. 

When I was in the sixth grade I was out at recess with my friends playing as sixth graders do when I looked at one of my friends and realized that my feelings for her were more than that of ‘just friends’. At the time, my little sixth grader brain didn’t understand it.  “Why was I feeling this way for a girl?”  “Is this normal?”  “What is this feeling?” Questions like those ran through my mind and I chose to ignore them. In my confusion I smothered those feelings for her and moved on with my life. 

When I entered high school I made new friends and one of them opened my eyes to the LGBTQ+ community and what it really meant. They told me about what being gay, trans, lesbian, bi and much more was all about and that it was totally fine. My ninth grade mind suddenly remembered that day in sixth grade. And thus began the four years of, what I like to call, “The Sexuality Years”

In grade nine I started remembering what I had felt for my friend and started questioning if I really had felt about her that way or not (since like any teenage girl I had been a little boy crazy) but I started trying to understand it. 

That year passed and by grade ten I was still figuring out how I felt. I didn’t know if I liked guys, I didn’t know if I liked girls, I didn’t know if I liked anyone at all. I decided to tell myself I was still figuring it out and I guess I could call that being bi-curious. At this point a few of my female friends  had tried asking me out. I wasn’t confident in my sexuality yet nor was I ready for a relationship so I politely turned them all down. All except one.

This girl I had gotten really close with in the course of one year. At the end of grade ten we had gotten to know each other and by grade eleven we were practically joined at the hip. As time passed I sensed a change in the way she looked at me and then came the semi-formal dance. At the end she pulled me away from the friend group and asked me out. I decided that I liked her back and we both agreed to try dating but if it didn’t work out we would still be friends. Honestly, I think this part of my life was the real eye-opener. We ‘dated’ in secret, not telling any of our friends since we didn’t know if we could call it a relationship or not. But long story short, it didn’t work out in the end and we ended the ‘relationship’ (We are still really good friends and she now has a very loving and caring boyfriend who I am frenemies with)

After that I decided to take a step back and look into my heart. By grade twelve I was confident to come out to my friends with the honest truth. I was gay. I liked girls, preferred girls and saw myself in the future spending the rest of my life with a girl. They accepted me entirely and life continued on.

Next was my family. I have one younger sister, a mom and a dad. My sister was the first I told. She was ecstatic and immediately became my #1 supporter. My mom found out a few months later. I had told her about me questioning my sexuality back when I was bi-curious and ever since then she had suspected my preference lie more towards women. She once again accepted me unconditionally and told me she loved me no matter what.

Then came my father.

I had known for years that my dad was probably one of the most homophobic people I had ever met. He simply believes being gay is wrong and makes sure everyone around him knows he feels that way(an example is when I would be watching a TV show and it would just happen to have a gay couple in it that kissed. He would react by turning his head away from the TV and saying something along the lines of “That’s gross” or “That’s wrong”). So you can understand my hesitation to reveal my sexuality to him.

Now being in grade twelve that means prom. I am single and had no one to go with since my closest female friend was going with her boyfriend and my closest guy friend was going with his girlfriend. So my other close female friend asked me to prom and I said yes. We decided to be cute and buy each other corsages.

I am a very forgetful person so one night as the day to prom draws ever closer my sister, my dad and I were the only ones at home and she walks up to me with my dad literally across from me and asks if I have bought the corsage for my friend yet. I quickly reply no and hop onto my laptop to do just that as I promised I would buy one and I don’t break my promises.

And that’s where it all went wrong

My dad sits in silence as I type away on my laptop, looking at different corsages until he finally asks, “Why are you buying a corsage for a girl?”

I reply, “Because I’m going with her.”

“Why are you going with a girl to prom?”

Now a logical person would have replied “Because she’s my friend” but I had had a long day and I was very tired and wasn’t in the mood to deal with my dad and his homophobic sh*t so I replied “Because I can.”

Back to silence. About five minutes later he gets up from where he was sitting with a simple “I don’t agree with that” and proceeds to stop around in our kitchen getting things ready to cook on the barbeque for dinner and proceeds to slam the door on his way out so loud that my sister left her room to check on me. All I could think in that moment was “F*ck... He knows”

At that point my world came crumbling down. My homophobic dad knew that his daughter was gay. I didn’t know what to do. My sister tried to keep me calm, comforting me as I started to cry. I texted my close guy friend who lived just down the street from me, asking if I could potentially come over(in the past he had said to me that if anything was ever wrong I could come to his place). He texted back yes and I proceeded to hide in my room, packing a bag of my homework. My dad came back in after finishing cooking and proceeded to loudly serve himself and sit down to eat without a word (he usually called out me and my sister to eat when dinner was ready). After he was finished he put away his dished and then came to my room where my sister and I were waiting to tell us dinner was ready. Neither of us were hungry. Later on he called on us because our guinea pigs had gotten loose from their cage. I went out to grab them and I heard him ask my sister “Where is she?”

I poke my head out of the living room and ask “Where is who?”

He looked at me with a bored and what felt to me was a disgusted look and simply said “never mind”

At that point I was done. I didn’t feel safe, I didn’t feel comfortable. I wanted out.

I grabbed my bag, and made it to the door where my friend was already waiting for me. I texted my mom in advance to let her know that I would be at my friend’s house studying and to let my dad know that she knew if he asked. My dad questioned why I was leaving and I told him. He didn’t let me leave. I started crying in frustration and pain and opened the door. He told me to stay. My friend approached the door and gently grabbed my hand, telling me to go only for my dad to yell at him to take his hands off me and slam the door in his face. I screamed at my dad that I wanted to leave, that I didn’t feel comfortable and he had no right to stop me. We argued about gay people and he said that gay people are the minority (the 1% as he so eloquently put it) and that people with his views are the majority. I called him a biggoted fool. He threatened to call the police. I said on what grounds? I was an adult by law, he couldn’t stop me. I told him one last time all the details of where I would be, told him he could call the police if he wanted and left, crying all the way down the street to my friend’s house while he hugged me close. 

I spent the next three hours at his house with him and his mom telling me it was ok, it wasn’t my fault and things like that. My friend’s girlfriend and her younger sister even stopped by to comfort me (as I am friends with them as well). Eventually I had to go home since my dad texted me asking me to but I went straight to my room without saying a word to him or even looking at him. 

My mom eventually came home from work and she discussed with my dad the events of the night. She had told him that she loved me unconditionally and that if he didn’t change his ways he wouldn’t have a relationship with me. She said that they both knew they had been seeing signs of this since I had been in grade six and his response was that they had both wished that those signs would go away. My mom quickly corrected him in saying that I love who I love and his love for me shouldn’t change because of my sexuality. From that point on I don’t remember much except my dad packing his things up for work and leaving. I cried to my mom, apologizing and she comforted me.

The next day I went to school and cried three times before lunch whenever I thought about it. When I came home I barely spoke to my dad unless it was necessary, same with the day after that. Then came prom. I went with my friend and we exchanged corsages. I had a great time but allowed myself to think about my dad who had seen me before I went to prom all fancy in my dress and barely looked at me before going into the house and nearly cried. My entire friend group proceeded to spend the weekend at one of my friend’s houses. While I was gone my I kept in touch with my sister and she had informed me that one night she and my dad had gotten in a fight and revealed that he was still mad about my coming out. I cried again.

After that I was done crying. Why waste my tears on this? I love me, my friends accept me, my mom and my sister accept me and even my grandmother hinted that she knew I was gay and said she loved me no matter what. It wasn’t worth my tears. 

I wish I could say this was years ago but this was merely days ago. I still don’t talk to my dad. I hide in my room, I don’t make eye contact, I don’t speak to him unless it’s absolutely necessary. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive him or even attempt to rekindle our once close bond. 

I guess my point is, despite knowing for years that my dad was homophobic and if I ended up being gay or bi he wouldn’t accept it, it still didn’t prepare me for the actual thing. It hurt so much more than I thought it would. I cried so much it’s embarrassing to think about. All I feel now is anger towards him. I have been told many times that no matter how much you prepare, nothing can truly ready you for reality and man did it sucker punch me. 

But I love myself, I am proud of myself and I wouldn’t change a thing about me. If you read this whole thing, thanks I guess. 

[bingeeatingihatefoodruinedmylife]

I wanna talk about the emptiness inside me that I tired to swallow, the black hole that started my downfall into the pits of eating and mood disorders.

1- My dad isn’t my father.

2-I don’t know if god exists.

These are the two things that are the bane of all the shit in my life.

My parents divorced when I was 3 and my mom and I and my sister lived with my grandparents and my messed up uncle. We were dirt poor (now we’re just poor thank god lol) so my childhood was sad mostly with an absent father who would show up once every many months to abuse me emotionally and give me abandonment issues. I’m sad to say I will never know what it’s like to have a father. He is trying to make it up to me now but only mildly. But I’m 22. His presence and support were needed when I was little and my teachers were telling him that I was very bright and that I should go to a better school, or when people told him I am a great artist and that he should buy me art supplies to hone my skills. He never even got me A4 papers. Now I’m burned out and bitter. I know I had insane potential but he only ever gave me issues and made my life more difficult that surviving was more important that any imaginary “potential”. And now I see people who were not as half as good as I was and they got the support and attention of their parents and have got far in life. My mother was a good parent growing up but the poor woman could not be blamed for not signing me up in fancy schools or drawing classes or whatnot because she was too busy being a single parent of two children working all sorts of jobs because the alimony is worth 250 dollars. What a joke. I’m broke now and I got through 250 in a week if I’m careful. What man would let his children go through poverty when he’s very wealthy. I love him and I understand that he has his issues to but I will never forgive him for what I had to go through. At 15 no one wanted me thats when my ED started. My mom was working in another city and she didn’t want me to live with her anymore. She send me back to my grandparents house where my uncle pulled a butchers knife on me. Who pulls a butchers knife on a 15 year old child ? My aunt instead of defending me gave me a talking to and told me to not tell my mom. I couldn’t believe my ears but I still didn’t tell my mom. Then I moved in with that aunt because I couldn’t stay in that house. But because my mother had body shamed me so much ( I was going through puberty and started to grow the tiniest little boobs and the tiniest little hips) and my other aunt who was pregnant the year before and had to also live with my grandmother as well as her husband and children would shame for whatever I ate. Soon her children followed suit. I was the tiniest boniest little thing but she shamed me nonetheless because food costs money I guess. At that time the only thing I snacked on were apples because I loved them so much and we again we were poor so we didn’t have delicious snacks lying around so apples were the only sweet thing there. How much were 1-3 apples a day gonna cost you ? Cheap yellow apples.. I could never do that to a 13 year old or anyone for that matter .

Does god exist ?

Are you there ?

Do you see me ?

Why am I here ?

Am I doing good ?

Am I not doing good ?

What’s the point of it all ?

If you’re god and you control everything did I do something to you to offend you ? Cause my life feels like a maze and I’m a rat and the maze is also a wheel and I’m just running but I’m still in my place. Im not even moving in the maze. If you wrote my life why isn’t it making any lyrical sense ?

Can you talk to me ?

Can you lend me a hand ?

Because I haven’t felt like the main character in my life for four years now… that’s a lot for someone to not fell like the MC in their OWN life.

So I was raised Muslim and questioning the existence of god in the Muslim community is a big no no. When I was a kid at least I knew for was there and if someone bullied me or did me wrong they were gonna get what’s coming for them sooner or later. But people who have wronged me so badly are thriving so what if this is it ? Also all the injustice in the world the racism sexism sex trafficking slavery that still exists countries that bully other counties and leaders that sell their own people. Sadly third world countries are enough to make you doubt gods existence. I just don’t want to be duped. Also what is up with the homophobia ? Religion to me seems like a big pretext for sick people to beat kill rape others. And this whole holier than thou attitude religious people have is such a peeve. So god, are you there ? Do you love me ? Or are you mad that my faith is weak and this depression and eating disorders are your way of getting back at me ? Because which are you ? Are you living and merciful ? Or are you scary and dishonoring sub-doing ? Because if someone told me they love me and were kind to me but at the same time messed my life behind the scenes and when I confronted them they said oh I’m punishing you because I live you and I want you to get closer to me I would just call them toxic and be like why the f ??? I’m not gonna lie the idea of being an atheist is so tempting but my brain can’t Handle the possibility of a god not existing because whenever I’m in trouble I go inwards and I talk to him god allah the universe u know I just know someone is listening and you wanna tell me it’s just me talking to myself ? Ouch And what is up with everyone assigning god the male gender ? That’s some sexist stuff right there. Also aren’t divinities supposed to transcend the concept of gender and genitalia ?? The religious inside me is freaking out right now over everything I wrote and I’m scared god would strike me or something over what I’m saying but I’m also tempted by the possibility of god just up there like good girl don’t trust what those misogynistic men have twisted religion into. Good on you for using the brain I GAVE you ! And he’s be like of course I love you I love the women I live the in between I love the gays I made you ! Of course I love you even the most broken ones are so beautiful to me. So If you were real how do I not make you mad at me cause I don’t want to piss off the all encompassing all knowing obviously do you see gif how so much of religion is fear. I don’t get it. So how do I do it without going crazy ? Also I’d you didn’t know us Muslims aren’t a allowed to leave the religion then go back etc like I see a lot of white people try everything out there and it’s just like isn’t that what we should do not be raised in a certain religious but like sample everything then decide based on how we are like some exchange program or as simple as a buzzfeed quiz. Because I didn’t choose this so It’s not an informed decision. Wondering if god exists probably stems from my fear of dying. Like everyone on this planet I don’t know when or where that’ll be so I have some unexplained anxieties. So I wonder what’s gonna happen after I bite the dust. It’s like sitting in the waiting room of a dentist you’re scared shitless you see people go in and you try to distract yourself you read some magazines or mess around in your phone etc. You know you avoided the call to the dentists office as much as you could but it was inevitable. Idk what I’m saying. Anyways so I’m sad because I’m unfocused in life school career like the driven overachieved millionaires Elon musks Angelina Jolies and Oprah’s out there so I’m not successful but when I try to focus I can’t because I’m reminded it’s only a few years and blinks until it’s my turn to go into the dentist office so what’s the point and a big majority of my life had been shot so far so..

[gothxmsirxns-blog]

Holy

Pairing: Kate Kane x Reader

Relationship: Romantic

Request: nope.

Plot: Based of ‘Holy’ by Zolita. Also loosely based on one of my OC’s.

Key: [Y/N] = your name, [S/N] = sister name, [H/C] = hair colour. [B/N] = brothers name, [D/C] = dress colour.

Warnings: GxG, cursing, homophobia, abuse. 

Tags: I wanna tag @memento-scribet @maruthor and @the-singing-canary because their the ones that inspire me to write and who inspired me to start this blog.

Words: 2,203

A/N: This is my first time writing for Kate. Also, to the anon who sent me in a request, I have it and I’m just trying to think of a way to present it because I know what I want to do, but I don’t know how to write it down. This was going to have smut in it, but when I was writing it I kept going in different directions and kept changing things so I took things out. 

‘Worship your body as you walk my way

You’re the only one that who can make me pray’

Pushing a strand of red hair away from the eyes of the sleeping vigilante, a smile feel onto the face of [Y/N]. Her girlfriend always looked so peaceful when she was sleeping, not a worry line to be seen on her face. [Y/N] wished she could back in this moment forever, just watching the love of her life be at peace with herself and everything around her for once instead of worrying about what was happening in the city and how she was going to help save it.

But, she did have to get up. Things had to be done that day or else she would have stayed in bed with Kate for as long as she could. With a light sigh, she pushed the blankets of her body with reluctance and stepped out of the bed, a shiver running up her back as her feet hit the cold floor and she reached down to lift the robe that had been quickly disregarded the night before.

Walking through the home she shared with Kate, [Y/N]’s eyes scanned over every picture of the two of them that she passed as she walked towards the kitchen and as her eyes caught sight of a picture that captured the two of them in a kiss her mind was cast back to the first time she kissed a girl.

___________________

‘I can fight but the devil wins’

She knew it was wrong, well she was told it was wrong by almost everyone around her. She was told that if she did it she would be sent to hell, that the devil won if she did it. But she couldn’t help it. Mariah just looked so pretty.

She was the new girl in town, having just moved from a small town to an even smaller town, and [Y/N] was quick to befriend the girl and the town soon found them inseparable to the point that it was suspicious and the rumours began.

The two paid no attention to the rumours, until they were sat in church and the preacher spoke specifically about what a sin it was to be homosexual and the two sat with their heads bowed and their eyes cast to their laps in an attempt to avoid the stares of all those around her. Her mother berated her, telling her to stay away from Mariah, saying she was trouble and that if she continued to be friends with the girl the devil would personally come for her to drag her to hell.

But she didn’t listen, she snuck Mariah into her room a few days later and the two shared a kiss on her bed before her sister came into the room and saw the two. [S/N] rushed to tell [Y/N]’s parents, who in turned told their preacher, who told Mariah’s family that they needed to leave for ‘corrupting the youth of the town’.

[Y/N] could remember it clearly, the looks people gave her and the beating her father gave her after discovering what she had done in an attempt to force the idea that it was bad and wrong, that she should never do it again into her mind. And it did, until she moved away.

___________________

‘And I will fall like a saint who sins’

The bitter memory faded away from [Y/N]’s mind and she continued to walk into the kitchen as she ran her hand through her [H/C] hair and let out a gentle sigh. When she got to the kitchen, the first thing she did was turn the AC on before moving to the fridge and pulling out the necessary ingredients to make chocolate chip, blueberry pancakes.

As she was cooking, she started to hum along to the song on the radio and dancing along to the beat with her hips swaying from side to side. [Y/N] was so absorbed in the music that she didn’t notice a certain red head leaning against the kitchen door with a smirk on her face and her arms crossed over her chest.

That was until, she felt the hands on her hips as Kate danced along to the music with her. “Someone's happy this morning.” A kiss was placed to [Y/N]’s cheek and she smiled as she turned to Kate, giving her a peck on the lips, before she got back to the cooking.

“I guess I’m just trying to push back the nerves.” Turning the stove off,she placed the last of the pancakes onto a plate and handed a plate to Kate, “It’s the first time I’m seeing them in a long time and the last time they saw me they told me I was going to hell.”

Giving the girl a sympathetic smile, Kate reached over and gave her a kiss on the head. “It’s okay.I’ll be right there alongside you.” Taking the girl’s hand, she lead her to the island that opened up to the living room and sat alongside her, giving words of encouragement to her over breakfast.

_____________________

‘Forgive me father, I am weak’

She was nervous, hell she was petrified. [Y/N] had just gotten back from college, she had moved out of her small town for four years and found out so many things that changed her life. Things that made her more comfortable in herself and she was terrified of what her family was going to say about the whole thing.

She hadn’t even unpacked her bags yet, because she was sure there was no point, and she already had her ticket to Gotham where she had an entry level job in her desired field that she was going to no matter what happened here and now.

With a deep breath, [Y/N] looked up from the hands that she had clasped in her lap to look at her parents and siblings, one sister and two brothers, who were all looking at her with a look of concern. “[Y/N], honey, are you feeling okay? You look a little pale.”

“I’m fine.” With a deep breath, she licked her lips and dug her fingers so hard into her skin that she felt that she was going to draw blood. “I just have something I need to tell you. It’s important.” Her mother nodded along and her father motioned for her to go along.

With a another deep breath that filled her ears with the pounding of her heart she let it out,”I’m gay,” and after that everything seemed to move in slow motion. She could remember her father screaming at her and her mother trying to calm him down, she remembered the look of sympathy from her siblings as her father screamed that she was going to hell and to get out of his because she was never welcomed there again. But most importantly, she remembered her mother not trying to defend the her.

And so, with tears pouring from her eyes she stood from the kitchen table and left her family home, to never go back.  Instead she went to Gotham, where she knew she was safe and where she had found a home in the arms of Kate Kane.

_________________

‘But it’s not forgiveness that I seek’

It was finally time, it had been a few hours since breakfast and the young couple had taken things slowly. The cleaned their home to the best of their abilities while they also lounged together on the sofa cuddling and talking about their future.  But it was finally time.

[Y/N] had put on a nice crop top and high waisted skirt that meant only a small part of her midriff was showing and not all of it and Kate had put on something similar, only with jeans a leather jacket over her top while [Y/N] had a simple cardigan.

Sitting in the café, [Y/N] could help the nerves that were building within her stomach and she shook her leg up and down in anticipation for what was going to come. Kate looked over to the girl and placed her hand over her’s, with her thumb rubbing soft circles on the skin to calm her down. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. You’re not doing this alone. You have me...and I may have also told the boys what was going on so you also have Jason and Damian ready to kill them when you give the word.”

A chuckle left [Y/N]’s lips as she looked to Kate with loving eyes, “I love you.” Kate returned the smile and leaned forward to give the girl a peck on the lips, “I love you too.”

The clearing of a throat caused the two to turn their heads and look at the chairs that were facing them, there stood [Y/N]’s parents. The same parents who had kicked her out upon her coming out, [Y/N] wished she could say they looked the same but they didn’t. They were greying and old, looking older than they should have. “Mom. Dad.”

[Y/N] stood from her seat and was brought into a tight hug by her mother, but her father refused to even look at her before he sat down in the seat facing Kate. With a deep sigh, [Y/N] took a seat by Kate and looked over to her parents.

They sat in silence for a while, the air tense and filled with unspoken aggression from her father towards her and Kate while her mother simply stared at her with doting eyes and a warm smile.

Clearing her throat slightly, [Y/N] tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ears and broke the silence, “Why did you want to meet? Why now?” Looking to her father for an explanation, she was meet with a small glare and an disgruntled face.

“Your mother and I...no your mother heard about your….engagement.” The way the word engagement was spoken was through gritted teeth with a snark behind it that meant he didn’t believe the meaning of the word in this context. “She wanted to come meet your fiance and she dragged me along with her.”

Nodding slightly, [Y/N] looked down to her ring finger where a simple engagement ring sat before looking back up to her parents. Her mother was the next one to speak.

“We’re so happy for you pumpkin, that you’re happy.” A grumble was heard from her father, barely audible but it caused [Y/N] to roll her eyes and she decided that she was finally going to fight back against your father.

“Do you have a problem?” Her father looked at her shocked, “Yes I have a problem. I thought you would be over this stupid homosexuality phase by now. I thought you would be marrying a man.”

Anger spread through [Y/N]’s body as she looked at the man she once called ‘daddy’. “Excuse me? You have no right to be angry at me for being who I am and for being comfortable in who I am. Who I love and marry is none of your business. I love Kate and she loves me.”

With a roll of his eyes, her father stood from the chair angrily, pushing the chair to the floor with the force of his movement as his hands slammed against the table. “You will not marry her. I forbid it.” And with that he began to walk out.

Standing from her own seat, [Y/N] grabbed her father's arm and turned to look at him. “I am marrying Kate whether you like it or not, the only difference it will make is if you decided you’ll be there and be happy for your daughter or not.” Letting go of his arm, she let him leave and she looked to her mother, shocked that she didn’t leave with him.

“We divorced about a year after you left. Turns out [B/N] is gay too and he couldn’t take it. So I left. I was sick of him tearing the family apart because of his bigoted views. I only supported him because I had no other options, I feel pregnant senior year of HIgh School and had to drop out, so I never worked. But I did it. I got my GED and I left.” As her mother stood from her seat, she placed a hand on her daughter's cheek and smiled, “I love you and I always have. I would love to go to your wedding if you’d have me.” Wrapping her arms around the older woman, [Y/N] felt tears sting her eyes because she finally had her mother back.

__________________

‘Your love is holy’

It finally happened, [Y/N] and Kate were finally married. The ceremony wasn’t too big, but it wasn’t too small because almost every member of the Justice League was there and so were immediate family members.

But the time had come, the time for the father daughter dance and [Y/N] remained seated while Kate danced with her father, looking as beautiful as ever in her [D/C] dress that she had somehow been convinced to wear. But suddenly the dance stopped and Jacob started to walk towards [Y/N] with his hand outstretched and a smile on his face, “You’re my daughter now too. Have been for a long time.

[Y/N] took the man's hand and lifted the edges of her [D/C] dress so that she didn’t trip as she walked to join Kate on the dance floor. Jacob took both the girl’s hands and twirled them before bringing them close to him together, allowing Kate and [Y/N] to look each other in the eyes as they whispered the words ‘I love you’.

[talesofzero]

Carpe Noctem - Ch. 28

AU; Chapter 28 - Gaudeamus Hodie

Give them space gays a Daiba. Space Gays love Daibas.

~3k words

Prying Daiba off of me took several minutes. His arms had snapped around my middle like a belt, and he grumbled in his sleep as I attempted to wrench his grip apart. After giving up on that, I pushed myself up, wriggled my hips through the loop, and pulled my legs free.

Naturally, he woke up at that moment, sat up in the bed with his hair a ruffled mess, and pouted at me. “I have to go see Harlock,” I said. “I have to make sure he’s alright.”

Once again, a piece of my memory seemed to have blotted out. The last thing I remembered was being in that cell; then I’d woken up surrounded by Harlock’s scent, back in our bed. It was infuriating to know that I’d lost time again. I’d been weak and scared enough to just block everything out. Now I knew nothing. I hadn’t been able to help anyone. 

But something must have worked out right if Daiba and I were back on the Arcadia. I just hoped that meant Harlock was still in one piece too. If something had happened to him or Tadashi or anyone... The thought made my chest ache. I would never forgive myself for being weak and oblivious while they fought for me.

Daiba followed me up to the deck while adamantly holding my hand. As we stepped through the hatch, the vast sky greeted us with its brilliant scattering of stars. Daiba’s eyes fixed on it. He looked as though he wanted to reach out and grab the constellations.

“Did you miss the sky?” I asked him, though I knew I wouldn’t get an answer. “I think I missed it too.” I’d been imprisoned for such a short time, but something about the idea of being trapped made me long to be outside.

“Daiba was our navigator,” Harlock said from above us.

Daiba turned with a jolt. Seemingly on instinct, his arm shot out in front of me as a shield. Harlock stood on the upper deck, leaning against the ship’s wheel. His expression was calm as he looked down on us. “He knew the star maps better than anyone,” he continued, “so we let him take over navigation, though we didn’t really need him to.” A smile eased onto his face. “It’s good to see you awake, Yama.”

Daiba’s stance eased as I nodded. After making sure all Harlock’s limbs were still attached, I let out the breath I’d been choking on. He was unhurt, maybe not alright, but unharmed. I wanted to ask about what had happened, about his brother and everyone else’s safety. But for all the questions on the tip of my tongue, I couldn’t seem to say any of them. Words stuck in my throat like barbs.

“Oh, you’re up!” Kei’s voice chirped as she strode up behind me. She slung one arm around my shoulder and shoved her other hand against Daiba’s head. As he hissed and spat and tried to claw toward her, she just kept her arm straightened and held him away. “Tadashi won’t say it, but he’s been worried about you, so make sure to go see him. Great Harlock’s been asking after you too, but I’m sure he’ll show up as he pleases. And you’ll need to meet Emeraldas and Nazca.”

“So everyone’s…okay?” I managed. Great Harlock could only have been Vati. That sounded like something only he would want to be called. And I recalled Dick mentioning the name Nazca. Emeraldas sounded familiar as well. It seemed like things had turned out alright. Some people were still unaccounted for, but I wanted to hope for the best.

Kei tossed an answer around in her head as her eyes darted back and forth. Finally, she shrugged. “Tadashi, Shep, and Nazca are still on the mend, but they’re doing fine.”

My voice fell to a whisper. “And Dick…?”

Harlock dropped down beside us, his expression unreadable. “You talked to him?”

“He was very kind,” I said, unsure how much Harlock needed to hear about my talks with his brother. The last thing I wanted was to upset Harlock further. He was doing his best to hide his pain, but I could see it in his eye. I knew him too well for the mask to work, but I wasn’t going to force him to remove it.

Daiba gave up on fighting Kei and slinked up to Harlock’s side instead. With a tired smile, Harlock patted the messy blond locks. “I’m glad you were able to see him as he really was,” he said. “I’m afraid we couldn’t save him or the wolf child, but we lost no more than that. Finding the two of you…” He breathed a sigh but kept his smile, even as the pain in his eye grew into an ache.

Kei let me go as I stepped away to go to Harlock. Reaching up, I took his face in my hands. He looked tired, so tired the years must have caught up with him, but adoration filled his face as he looked down at me. “I’m so glad you’re alive,” he murmured. “I was lost without you.”

As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t promise I’d never die, so pressing up to my toes, I kissed him instead. It was short and simple, the most I could bring myself to do out in the open. He breathed another sigh as I pulled away, already blushing up to my ears.

“I love you,” I mumbled, hoping Kei wasn’t paying us any mind.

“Oh!” Harlock said, startling me. “I almost forgot.” Reaching into his coat, he pulled out the little gold ring. “Tochiro found this-“

Daiba snatched the ring from Harlock’s hand so quickly, I didn’t see him move. Harlock must have, as he was just as quick to grab for it. “Daiba, no!” he scolded.

Daiba clasped it between both hands and hopped out of Harlock’s reach. The chase might have gone on had Kei not been there to catch Daiba by the collar as he tried to rush past. He made a sound like a cat whose tail had been stepped on, his eyes wild with rage as Kei tossed him back toward Harlock.

“You haven’t changed a bit,” Harlock grumbled, locking his arms around the wriggling feral.

With Harlock’s hands full, I stepped up to Daiba and took his face in my hands as I had Harlock’s. “Careful, he’ll bite,” Harlock warned. But Daiba stilled, still pouting as he looked at me.

“He just wants attention,” I said. “He’s cute.”

“Oh, and doesn’t he know it,” Harlock sighed. “He’s not much different when he’s not feral.”

Harlock just didn’t get it. Daiba was even easier to manipulate than he was. Turning on my sweetest sing-song voice, I cooed at the kid. “Daiba, can I have my ring back?” Even if he didn’t understand, he allowed me to open up his hands and retrieve the ring. Slipping it back on my finger felt comfortable, as though some part of me had returned.

“Oh, he’s the feral whisperer,” Kei said. “Maybe he can get through to his brother.”

Harlock’s spine stiffened. His eye went wide. His arms must have tightened too because Daiba gave a whine.

“What?” was all I could manage. The ship could have caught fire around me, and I wouldn’t have moved. Every piece of me felt cold and numb.

“Kei,” Harlock hissed.

But she shrugged. “He was going to find out sometime. Better get it over with.”

I found my fingernails digging into my palms. Daiba reached up and patted at my cheeks as I had his. “There’s a lot to explain,” Harlock said. “We’ll…need to go to the Karyū.”

Harlock kept talking as we moved to Zero’s ship. He kept saying things, and I kept nodding. For all I knew, I could have been agreeing to murder, but I couldn’t bring myself to care while my brother lay on a bed and growled like a dog being backed into a corner.

“Oh, hush,” Zero said as he leaned against a bedpost. “Awfully temperamental, aren’t you? You just got fed, so you’re not allowed to be grumpy. Be nice to your guests.”

He couldn’t just talk to Ezra like that. Ezra commanded respect. Ezra should have gotten up and demanded an apology at the very least. That just seemed like something he’d do even as a feral. Seeing him prone felt surreal, like all reality had flipped on its head. 

“Why is he just lying there like that?” I asked in a whisper.

Harlock made a noise to suggest he’d already told me the answer to that, but Zero smirked at his annoyance. “His spine was damaged,” Zero said. “As far as I can tell, he won’t be walking again, but we’ll be able to find workarounds, so he’ll be able to move without too much trouble. For now, though, he’s just an irritable feral who tends to swipe at anyone who gets close.”

Ezra attacking me didn’t scare me, but my legs wouldn’t budge. Looking at him made me feel empty. I’d wished for this, hadn’t I? I’d imagined him living forever.

“He’s going to kill himself,” I murmured. “There’s no way he’ll let himself live like this.”

“Like you?” Harlock asked.

I flinched against his words, like a slap to the face. He was right. I’d hated it at first. I’d wanted to die.

“He’ll get over it,” Zero said. “We all do. Perhaps, given some time, the two of you can reconnect, but for now, I’ll look after him for you.”

We spent a few moments listening to Ezra growling as I continued to stare at him, trying to will myself to move closer or farther away. Zero, after trying to shush my brother again, looked back toward Harlock. “Have you picked a second yet?” he asked.

“No. Kei turned me down and so did Tadashi. All of the other men keep avoiding me. When I tried to ask Tetsuro, Tadashi just about killed me. With Tochiro seconding for Emeraldas, I can’t con anyone into it.”

“What about Yama?”

I looked up at the sound of my name to find a skeptical Harlock staring back at me. “Yama?” he echoed.

“It’s not as though the seconds do much,” Zero said.

Harlock turned on Zero quick as a whip. “I don’t need Promethium knowing about him.”

“She’ll find out eventually if she doesn’t already know. If Daiba wakes up by then, I suppose you could take him.”

“Daiba would say something stupid and get himself killed.”

“Your father makes it through the meetings in one piece.”

“Astoundingly.”

“Wait,” I cut in, drawing their eyes to me. “What’s going on?”

Harlock made that indignant noise again, while Zero reiterated for him again. “There are eight pirate lords, each symbolized by a very specific set of coins.” He pulled one of the familiar silver coins from his pocket.

“How are they different from regular coins?” I asked.  

“These coins have been hexed so that we may touch them. Any other silver would melt our flesh right off. That’s how you know you’re looking at a genuine lord – they’ve got genuine silver in their hand.”

“…Hexed?” I echoed. I couldn’t help but feel skeptical.

He shrugged. “It’s an old spell from some witch, before my time even. The coins were made to represent pirate lords initially, so there’s an odd protection charm on them. It was strong enough to allow vampires to take hold of the coins as well, and thus the coins became those of the vampire lords rather than pirate lords over time. The old title still tends to stick though.”

“Wataru will fight you tooth and nail over it,” Harlock said. “He doesn’t care for being lumped in with us.”

“I can’t say I do either,” Zero grumbled.

“What does all this have to do with anything?” I asked before they could start bickering.

Zero began flipping the coin and catching it over and over in a lazy rhythm. “Oh, one of the lords noticed that several of us had congregated here: Wataru, Great Harlock, Emeraldas, Harlock Jr., myself, and formerly Gido.”

Harlock looked sick to his stomach. “Please never call me that again,” he said, but Zero paid him no mind.

“We found Gido’s Piece and gave it to the oldblood here, though I’m not certain he’ll keep it because he almost passed out when he got word that one of the other lords decided to call a meeting. She found out that we’d all gathered here, and she didn’t like being left out, so she and the other will be here soon.”

“That’s why I need a second,” Harlock said. “Each of the lords brings a second to the meeting. Seconds carry private messages back and forth between Lords, like carrier birds.”

“You’re also there to help calm things down,” Zero added. “The meetings can get heated, so the seconds are there to make sure no Lords kill each other. That’s why I think you’d be good for the job, Yama. Harlock may actually listen to you.”

Harlock looked like he wanted to argue, but he pressed his lips together.

“What is the meeting about?” I asked.

“Fuck all, usually,” Harlock said.

Zero rose his voice over Harlock’s. “We tend to trade information and discuss the implementation of rules. It’s boring but important.”

“I wouldn’t mind being your second,” I said to Harlock. “I’ll try to keep you out of trouble.”

The corner of his mouth tugged toward a smile. “You’re usually the one getting in trouble, you know. But very well.” Turning toward me, he gave a deep bow. “I would be happy to have you as my second, Yama.”

“I’m not sure why he’s the second when he’s clearly the one in charge,” Zero muttered.

Harlock’s eye sparked with rage. “You can be quiet. Your second walks all over you.”

I had a feeling I knew why Kei and Tadashi had turned down being part of the meeting. If all the lords were this petty, it would be a long night.

Luckily, Harlock estimated that it would take a few weeks before both of the other Lords arrived. In the meantime, we remained docked a ways outside of port along with the other ships. I did enjoy spending time on the Sirius, with little Manabu always trying to get my attention and Shep trotting after him. Wataru always offered to let me join his ship, like Zero did when I visited the Karyū. Harlock always grumbled about it.

Vati also encouraged me to visit, but Harlock was quick to discourage it, so Vati just took up residence on the Arcadia instead. The wolf boy Nazca stayed with us at times as well, though Meowdar loathed him. I would walk out onto the deck to find Meowdar yelling down at the yapping wolf, who circled the mast with a toothy grin. Mii-kun didn’t seem to mind him much, though.

I heard about Emeraldas, but I never saw her. Her ship was always a phantasmal image hidden by jagged rocks on the horizon. When I asked Harlock about her, he frowned for a moment before choosing his words. “She manages to be around at the worst of times. Even her kindness can be cruel, but I don’t know that I’ve ever met anyone else more worthy of respect.”

Kei called from across the ship, “She could step on me any day.”

I started to ask what she meant, but Harlock was quick to shush me.

Daiba was the greatest trouble of all, a cross between an irritable cat and an attention-starved toddler. Unless he could be snuggled up against me or Harlock, he wasn’t happy. Vati worked as a substitute until Harlock snatched Daiba away from him and threatened his father’s life. As always, Vati laughed it off. 

Every morning, Daiba squished himself between us on the bed. He wouldn’t sleep otherwise. Harlock and I entwined our hands across him and whispered back and forth until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. 

“Should we get married here?” I asked. “Everyone’s here already.”

“There are no nice fields around,” Harlock said with a sigh. “And I don’t have good memories of this place.”

“Getting cold feet?” I teased in hopes of cheering him up. 

“Maybe I just want to wait until Daiba is conscious enough not to spend the whole ceremony trying to get between us.”

I breathed a silent laugh as sleep dragged me down. “Fair enough. Think he won’t do that when conscious?”

If Harlock answered, I didn’t hear it. Daiba purred in his sleep, and it was impossible not to pass out with the soft rumbling so close to me.

And when Daiba slept, he slept like the dead. He didn’t rouse when Kei woke us with the news that one of the other lords had arrived. Her voice rasped with her exhaustion and annoyance. “He just showed up on the deck,” she said. “He wants to greet you, Captain.”

Harlock’s eye drooped in equal annoyance. Worried he might kill the other lord, I rushed after his strides to the deck. “Hello!” a chipper voice greeted as we arrived. “I wanted to introduce myself before the meeting.”

“Have the other lords thrown you off their ships, or am I the first you’ve bothered?” Harlock grumbled.

I peered around him to find a smooth-faced pretty boy. He appeared Japanese with shining brown eyes and neat brunet hair. His outfit was tidy, as was that of the younger-looking boy standing slightly behind him. Besides the baby face of the younger one, the two looked similar enough to be related. But the younger also looked as annoyed as Harlock.

The elder boy laughed. “You’re just like I heard you’d be. I’m Mamoru Kodai, and this is my brother, Susumu. It’s a pleasure, Harlock.”

Harlock folded his arms across his chest. “If you know me, I see no need to introduce myself.”

“That’s reasonable. But more importantly, who’s this piece of art?” In a blink, Mamoru appeared at my side, his arm around my shoulder. “I’d love to hear an introduction from you.”

Before Harlock could go through with whatever violent thoughts flickered in his eye, something wrenched Mamoru’s arm off me. We both turned to find Daiba gripping his wrist and glaring. “Hands off,” Daiba snapped. It seemed the spell had broken. Our princess was awake. He didn’t look too thrilled about it. 

But Mamoru’s grin widened, and he used his free hand to grip Daiba’s chin. “Well, aren’t you cute?”

I expected him to lose that hand. Daiba should have flown into a rage, but his cheeks blossomed red. “I-I’m not cute!” he stammered. “I’m Tadashi Daiba! I’m a man!”

“Of course,” Mamoru purred, which was about all I could deal with from him.

Stepping between them, I shoved him and Daiba apart. “I’m Yama,” I said.

Still, Mamoru was not upset by the turn of events. “Just Yama? You don’t have a last name? Should I call you mine?” he asked, his eyes sparkling.

Looking like the reaper come to collect, Harlock snapped a hand onto Mamoru’s shoulder. “He’s mine, Kodai.”

“Me too!” Daiba said.

Harlock’s rage faltered a moment. His voice cracked as he spoke. “Right, Daiba is also mine.”

Once again, Daiba’s face stained pink, and his whole expression brightened with a smile. His heart hammered away, though mine seemed to follow along. He really was adorable.