#FOM can piss off

[meejijis]

ah yes today is the day where one of my most hated manga moments of all time gets animated and I’m already just salty just thinking about it

[f1-birb]

not lando "fans" coming out with the awful "he deserves online harassment" takes jfc can some of these people touch some grass. go for a walk. find something to do off the internet. i know this seems to be an impossible concept for tumblr users to grasp, but you CAN hold people accountable without being an awful human being yourself.

exactly

you can still be a fan of someone but be disappointed by something and say "that ain't it chief"

it wasn't great what was said, there are some elements of neutrality (mandatory) but it definitely leans more positively than it should, PR briefed response or not. he's now attached to those words and people will make assumptions (and from what I've seen also perform Olympic medal worthy mental gymnastics) and what he said I definitely do not condone, endorse or agree with

I hope that he can learn from this in the event of the FIA/FOM inviting another shitty guest to a GP and him having to meet them or be asked about them, but harassing him online won't do anything

what needs to be done is harass the institution who claims to be non-political, and has warned drivers about fines/sanctions/penalties for them speaking their personal views on issues deemed social/political/religious and yet invited that man to a GP, among other controversial guests, paraded him around with the president of said institution and let him wear a hat stamped with a political slogan in multiple photographs

FIA/FOM needs to be held accountable above all, he never should've been invited for one and if they had to because of the social media fall out I could imagine coming from a mile away, they should've banned the hat

and for anyone pissed about the tweet that man made, very good odds are he'd have posted a pic with whoever won and called that team his friend, that's the man's whole damn MO

[meyhew]

you don't have to share this if you don't wanna, but it really is a breath of fresh air on here to hear people actually point out what is obvious regarding the whole harry/zayn/1D thing. it is so clear that work on making harry the next timberlake was going on fullswing and zayn made a very smart decision for his career. he must have pissed so many off with that lmao and i am glad!! but also one thing that always confuses me is why louis INSISTS on them having been perfect best friends. the only person in the band he has publicly shown his anger towards is zayn. i have believed in larry for ten years now (although my understanding of it doesn't match most others’), but all throughout mitam promo I was very *side eye* towards louis and harry suddenly being friends laughing around interacting again. i still look at that time with so much skepticism. i would love to hear your thoughts (anything around what i rambled, and only if you like)

cannot believe we r still having these conversations in the year 2023 but i think we will always be having these conversations bc we will never know the complete truth. anyway i do think zayn & louis were genuinely really really good friends. they both have a similar working class background and both seem to take immense pride in it, so naturally that would lend to a strong foundation in a friendship. and idk to Me it isnt that confusing that louis would be angry with zayn. like i dont Approve of the things he's done/said to/about zayn but it i can understand how that would happen. people tend to be more hurt by those that are closest to them and those they value most. whether zayn left for his mental health or because of industry politics or both, it's understandable that louis might be more angry with zayn than if it were liam or niall—because he was always closer with zayn.

but anyway!! mitam erea is sooo fascinating to me esp as a larrie bc genuinely why were harry & louis all of a sudden besties in a way we hadn't seen in years? there was that theory abt them being promised a coming out and that was plausible at the time and even a Little bit in hindsight but maybe not. or it could be bc they were trying to divert attention fom zayn's departure and they had to do something to keep the fans happy & afloat, a very large chunk of whom at the time consisted of larries. who knows man. we will never find out what actually happened and none of it will really make a lot of sense. soooo much drama and over a boyband!

tldr i think louis' anger was borne of love bc zayn was his closest friend in the band and he didnt rlly know how to handle the departure

[darklingichor]

Once More Fom the Beginning, by Wendy Bertsch

I wish I liked this one more than I did. The way it was billed was a retelling of the old testament from the perspective of the women. This seems like a good premise for a chuckle or two. However, what it is is basically a sumerizatuon of the old testament with modern language showing all the men to be dicks and maybe a headshake or an eye roll from the women every now and again.

I mean, if I wanted to read the Old Testament, I would have, nothing was added to it by having everyone talking like they're 20 somethings in the western world. I mean, there was no humor, unless the humor was supposed to *be* the fact that they were talking like that and the woman stood around rolling their eyes.

I felt like this book really wanted to be like The Twisted Tales of Shakespeare where the humor comes from puns and playing with context and sentence structure.

It wasn't. Look, The Old Testement can read like a bonkers game of mad libs if you look at it right, and nothing was stopping the author from playing with the madness.

There could have been stories about how while the men were yelling and stabbing and talking to burning bushes, the women were behind the scenes trying to orchestrate a different plan and maybe the differences in their plan and the men's plan accounts for why some stuff doesn't make sense.

Or, maybe play with the stories a little.

Like:

The tower of Babel was just supposed to be a multilevel market place, designed to save space. They got it up pretty high, but people started arguing about branding and store fonts and whether one person should collect the rent or perhaps they should figure out a different solution, and then one day, during a particularly contentious discussion about who could actually own the space at the bottom (First for foot traffic) and who could be at the top (tourist spot, clearly) when Benjamin the fine foods merchent was arguing that he should have the top spot because people would be hungry by time they got there; while Jemima the goat merchant was insisting he should be at the top, because, the goats will end up there anyway ("I mean, c'mon Ben, you've met a goat!"). And while Ben was making the case that just because a goat could climb to the top doesn't mean they should ("Having everyone *below* goats? It's an open concept plan Jem, that could only end badly").

And all the shareholders put in their two cents, no one was watching when, running late Oppidiah, owner of the perposed ice cream and paint mixing emporium ( There were health concerns here which is why he was on thin ice as it was) tied his donkey to one of the support struts and ran inside. Now, the donkey was annoyed because the entire way Oppi was singing 1000 skins of wine on the wall and as migraine inducing as that song was, the jerk stopped at two. TWO! The least he could have done was finish! So, the donkey disregarded his tether and decided he was just going to leave the irritating little man behind. He began to walk away. Now, this was long before building inspectors and structural integrity rules. The whole structure creaked if someone sneezed too hard, if we're honest. So, it didn't take much for the support to pop free and send the whole thing tumbling down.

The reason that everyone ended up speaking different languages because everyone was pissed off at everyone else. Yeah Oppi tied the donkey up, but whose idea was it to allow for anyone to just walk up and mess with a building under construction? Why wasn't there a fence? Talk to Mickiel, the fence builder who wanted to be on three! Well, no one was paying him for labor and materials to assist in construction. Who was in charge if contracts? Oh don't even talk to Abrial, he's the one who brought in Oppi to begin with! All of them left in a huff, and refused to speak with each other ever again, they each taught their families a code with which they could talk shit about the others right in front of them and eventually each family became mutually unintelligable to each other. Also,this is why we call a donkey and ass, because that animal was a, in fact, an ass.

See? Just be a little silly. Instead, this book was just boring.

[fan-of-mulligan]

GILLINGHAM SUPPORTERS BLOG - 2022 / 2023 SEASON - PART ONE

At the start of the season, I asked Gillingham Supporters for there thoughts and opinions on Gillingham’s Transfer Activity, Which Included Gillingham Signing The Likes Of Shaun Williams, Will Wright, Mikael Mandron, Scott Kashket and Elkan Baggott, Can any of Gillingham’s Young Players Like Joe Gbode and Bailey Akehurst force there way into the first team this season, Increasing the number of substitutes from three to five, and Gillingham’s Predicted League Position For The 2022 / 2023 Season, And the link to that blog is here - https://fan-of-mulligan.tumblr.com/post/691153015697227776/fom-blog-gillingham-supporters-blog-season

This Blog Is A Follow Up Blog which was previewing Gillingham before the start of The 2022 / 2023 Season, Now Leyton Orient 2-0 Gillingham On Tuesday Night was Gillingham’s Fifteenth League Game Of The Season, And I would usually do a part one for The Gillingham Supporters Blog after fifteen league games played, But with so many mid-week matches against Crawley Town, AFC Fylde In The FA Cup First Round Replay, and Brentford In The League Cup, I thought the week break between The Dagenham & Redbridge and Salford City Matches would be the ideal time to write up A Gillingham Supporters Blog.

Answering these questions are the following Gillingham Supporters,,,,, Loonpotter, Rob, David, Dazza, Gillingham Legends, Rob-B, Mike, Colin, Mark, and BQGillsFan - I want to thank everyone who has participated in the latest Gillingham Supporters Blog, as well as thank those who participated in Previous Gillingham Supporters Blogs, It is because of the involvement of everyone who has participated in the previous blogs which have made these blogs so successful, so once again, thank you, Now on to the questions and answers……..

1. I HAVE GOT TO START THIS GILLINGHAM SUPPORTERS BLOG BY ASKING THIS IMPORTANT QUESTION, BACK IN AUGUST, PAUL SCALLY ANNOUNCED THAT HE WAS STEPPING AWAY AND TAKING A EXTENDED BREAK ON THE DAY TO DAY RUNNING OF GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB, AND IN RECENT WEEKS, THERE HAVE BEEN RUMOURS ABOUT A POTENTIAL TAKEOVER, CAN YOU SEE A CHANGE IN OWNERSHIP AT GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB HAPPENING ???

Loonpotter - It seems like it's happening as the stadium is now listed as belonging to Brad Galinson from what I hear..

Rob - I hope so. I don’t think Mr Scally has the means any more to finance the club to a competitive standard at league level.

David - Yes.

Dazza - As I write, it appears we are already in the midst of a takeover. Interesting few days, weeks and months ahead.

Gillingham Legends - Was never sure how true the rumours were but after today's news it now looks very likely to happen imminently.

Rob-B - Yes I can. Clearly the club have been loaned money from the potential new owner, Brad Galinson, with the stadium used as collateral. That's an unusual move if it's not a precursor to a full takeover, as there seems little benefit to Brad for this move. I am expecting weeks rather than months now.

Mike - 100% the takeover will happen, what the changes that we’ve seen on Companies House this week I think within the next 2 weeks we will be under a new ownership.

Colin - There needs to be a change in ownership. The owner can’t keep taking a large consultancy fee while failing to fund an adequate playing squad. Fans are voting with their feet and find more enjoyable ways of spending their Saturdays. It can’t go on much longer.

Mark - Yes, only a matter of time now. I can’t wait. I am hoping it can make a real impact and change the direction of travel which is only down under Scally.

BQGillsFan - Scally just doesn’t care, does he? Insults the fans, then bans them when they insult him back. Dreams of becoming a big club, refuses to put money or funds in to do so. Witnesses our worst season in over a decade, runs away and leaves Paul Fisher to pick up the slack, all whilst pissing off a manager who realistically should be plying his trade two divisions up, not down here with us. When we needed him to step forward, he’s run away. A change of ownership may very well be on the cards, but a) I need to see it to believe it, and b) Very high chance it will be some vulture swooping in to take whatever he can before leaving the club to die, given we’ve done a pretty good job of killing ourselves in recent years.

2. AND IF A CHANGE IN OWNERSHIP WERE TO HAPPEN EITHER THIS SEASON OR NEXT, WHAT IMPROVEMENTS WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE CHANGE FOR THE BETTER FOR GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB, BOTH ON AND OFF THE PITCH ???

Loonpotter - The changes all need to happen on the pitch initially to get us away from the bottom end of league 2.

Rob - Predominantly I would like to see an improvement in football infrastructure. A proper coaching and scouting system and youth development are a must. Then an improvement in the playing squad of course. When Evans & Raynor left, the lack of infrastructure was badly exposed and was embarrassing to be frank. Finally I would like to see a well run catering and bar operation in the ground,  & more entertainment for kids.

David - More. Investment.

Dazza - A better match day experience for the fans. And I believe an American owner is likely to have some good ideas along these lines. At least getting Priestfield back to the service levels it was a few years ago would be a start. On the pitch, simply an injection into the playing budget would help enormously. A couple of decent proven strikers would help.

Gillingham Legends - Well clearly there needs to be more funds available for better players and wages. I think with a successful team, everything else goes hand in hand. The club seems to be using the Great Hall a lot better and are staging some good gigs and events with big names which is very pleasing and good for the club. Hopefully more positive off field things like that will happen.

Rob-B - Pretty much everything needs to change. In the short term, we need better quality players, especially if we're to stay in this division or get back out the one below. Smaller changes such as making sure there's hot water, milk for teas, and so on also need to change. Then there's the long term challenges: building a new stadium at Mill Hill, having our own and improving the training ground, and redeveloping Priestfield. One big difficulty will be changing the culture of the club - for too long it's been a joke and treated as such. The fan base is understandably very cynical and our marketing is poor. Running out of milk to make teas was a good case in point - either staff didn't feel empowered to go and get some or knew they wouldn't be reimbursed if they did. That mentality has to change as well.

Mike - On the field a much better quality of players, it hasn’t worked out with the current crop for one reason or another. Lack of goals is the big one as we aren’t conceding many to be honest. Off the field, The Brian Moore Stand to be finally built after 20 years, I would like a safe standing terrace with a low roof so that the sound echoes around. A proper club shop back even if it’s the one in Gordon Road like it use to be many years ago.

Colin - A new owner needs to first and foremost be able to fund a playing squad that can win some games and score a few goals so as to bring some pleasure back into being a Gillingham fan. Beyond that there needs to be much better and more positive engagement with fans, sponsors and the wider community.

Mark - On the pitch win more games, score more goals. Lack of investment on the pitch has led us to where we are, facing relegation out of the league. Off the pitch lets reconnect with the fan base, lets promote the club and lets make it a happy place to be.

BQGillsFan - I mean, where to begin. Quite literally. Clean up the stadium. Give club staff support and paying what they actually deserve. Give fans a reason to want to come back. Invest in the playing squad. Invest in a youth setup. Have a long-term structure in mind. Build something that the fans, players and management can get on board with. There is not one thing being done correctly at Gillingham right now, and I honestly don’t know if one man can fix all the problems before it’s too late.

3. ALSO, PAUL FISHER HAS COME INTO THE FOOTBALL CLUB DURING GILLINGHAM’S TIME OF NEED TO HELP RUN THE FOOTBALL CLUB DAY BY DAY, AND PAUL FISHER HAS INTERACTED WITH SUPPORTERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA, YOUR THOUGHTS ON PAUL FISHER’S WORK AT GILLINGHAM SO FAR ???

Loonpotter - I've seen no difference whether it be Fisher or Scally in charge.. He does interact but it's just the same, safe, almost scripted rubbish.

Rob - Paul Fisher seems to be doing a good job of getting off the field income going again. Whether it’s enough to save the current team from relegation will be clear from what happens in the January transfer window.

David - Very Good.

Dazza - Personally I think Paul Fisher has done very well. Things are beginning to happen around the club on Match days. Functions and the Factory are improving. I personally wish he’d stop the constant interactions with fans on Twitter. The “anti” fans just find fault in everything he says like they do with Scally.

Gillingham Legends - I think he's trying to listen to fans and improve things as much as he can with limited resources. He is certainly more approachable and interactive, which is probably the area where Paul Scally isn't the best.

Rob-B - If we find a successful buyer then he's done his job. He's managed to be a buffer for Scally in this awful season - I shudder to think of the abuse he'd be getting if he was in the crowd. I wouldn't be opposed to him continuing as CEO under the new ownership.

Mike - I like Paul and hope he stays on in CEO role as in his time back at the club, The Great Hall is being used a lot more and he has the knowledge to get things done with limited resources so with bigger resources (hopefully) behind him things will get much better for everyone involved.

Colin - We don’t know Paul’s full remit but from what I have seen he is looking to get the off field basics back on track and he has done an excellent job reviving the gigs in the Great Hall and bringing revenue back into the club. He comes across as a fan not just a hired hand.  We don’t know what he’s role is with regard to a sale of the club but anything he has been doing to facilitate that must be a good thing.

Mark - I think his hands are tied. He’s done OK but hasn’t really had the impact I thought he might given his background. I suspect his hands are well and truly tied though.

BQGillsFan - Finally, someone with the guts to address the fans and speak like he actually cares about the club. I really feel for Paul Fisher. He’s been dumped in to take the hits for the coward that owns this club, and he has done the best he can. But he’s not in control, not really. I have no doubt he wants what is best for the club, but he quite literally can’t do anything to save it. Engagement and emotional investment is the bare minimum somebody running a football club should have, and Fisher has done the best he can with the dregs he was handed.

4. AFTER NINETEEN LEAGUE GAMES IN LEAGUE TWO, GILLINGHAM HAVE WON TWO, DRAWN EIGHT, AND LOST NINE, AND GILLINGHAM ARE CURRENTLY IN THE RELEGATION ZONE, DO YOU THINK RELEGATION INTO THE CONFERENCE NATIONAL IS A REAL POSSIBILITY ??? - AND WHAT DO GILLINGHAM NEED TO CHANGE TO ENSURE THAT THE GILLS ARE STILL A FOOTBALL LEAGUE CLUB FOR THE 2023 / 2024 SEASON ???

Loonpotter - Wholesale player changes are required in January.. Nicky Shorey should probably go fishing for a year if he hasn't been already.  I don't believe we'll go down even though I recognise its a possibility.  

Rob - Without any significant changes in the playing squad, I think we would be very fortunate indeed to avoid relegation. I think with better quality players, Harris will get results. This is the worst team I’ve ever seen at the Gills by some distance in 27 years as a fan. I think it was always going to be 3-4 transfer windows with at least some financial backing for Harris to turn around what he found when he arrived. We are stuck with 3-4 on the wage bill that almost certainly wouldn’t be here if they had been out of contract in the summer.

David - Yes it is a real possibility. We need to invest in some better players.

Dazza - Definitely a possibility. We have been absolutely dire so far. Without a change we are going down. Fortunately a change is happening. I hope it is enough to turn the tide. We won’t come back from the NL in a hurry.

Gillingham Legends - Given the current position you have to say yes, it is definitely a possibility. We need to score goals to win more games and that just hasn't happened. I don't think you can fault the players for effort, they are definitely trying but there is a lack of quality.

Rob-B - If we carry on as we are, I think we're in for a double relegation. We simply do not score enough goals to win games nor come back from conceding. To ensure we stay up? 5 or 6 players of good quality - they need to be top League 2 players to cover the deficiencies of others - but they don't come cheap.

Mike - All depends on the budget for January, if it’s decent and we can bring in quite a few players which is always hard in January we will be safe, if not it might be a long 2nd half of the season.

Colin - The current squad isn’t of Football League standard. Unless there is a complete overhaul in January we will be in a three way fight against relegation. I don’t rate our chances unless a takeover goes through this month.

Mark - Yes its greater than 50/50 unless something changes. If we do nothing then we are relying on two worse teams. I’m not sure there is. We need to invest in attacking, creative players and goal scorers. That won’t happen under Scally. Either takeover happens in time for January funding or we are hoping that others are worse.

BQGillsFan - Without major investment in January, which we know isn’t happening, we are down. Neil Harris shall be gone by February at the absolute latest I reckon, and we won’t be able to attract any manager of calibre that can save us. No manager, no quality, no leadership from the top. How can it be anything other than relegation at this rate.

5. AND WITH GILLINGHAM CURRENTLY SITUATED IN THE LEAGUE TWO RELEGATION ZONE, THIS HAS SEEN SUPPORTERS ASKING QUESTIONS REGARDING NEIL HARRIS’ FUTURE AS GILLINGHAM MANAGER, DO YOU THINK A CHANGE IN MANAGEMENT SHOULD HAPPEN, OR, SHOULD GILLINGHAM STICK WITH NEIL HARRIS ???

Loonpotter - I'm 100% on the fence with this one.

Rob - I understand the frustration with results under Harris but paying off him, Livermore and Shorey at this point doesn’t address the deeper systemic issues at the club and just reduces the funding available in January. We are not attractive to any manager in a job elsewhere above National League South level either, so would need to attract an out of work manager and coaching staff that’s better than what we have. That doesn’t seem realistic to me.

David - Neil Harris must stay.

Dazza - Tough one. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s replaced. Most managers would have been with our current record. But I think these are weird times and he will survive and hopefully get us performing with an injection of funds. If he can identify some attacking options I think we’ll be fine.

Gillingham Legends - Neil Harris has proven himself to be a very decent manager. We all loved him when he came in and nearly kept us up against all odds. Things are difficult, we're not getting results but he is still a good manager. Not sure we'd attract anyone better.

Rob-B - I would stick with him. He's been dealt a rotten hand with a bunch of players that a) he didn't want to stay at the club and b) almost certainly didn't want to sign. Some of his comments about being happy with the squad must be looked at in the appropriate context - it would have been devastating for the players' morale if he'd said they were all rubbish before a ball was kicked. I think if we gave Neil a competitive budget, we'd be competitive.

Mike - Tough one really do we stick or twist, would be interesting to see if the players perform better if Neil went or would it be the same. But for the moment I think we stick, get the takeover done and a decent January window and go from there.

Colin - Harris spouted a lot of big talk pre season. We were going to have a much better squad than we had under Evans. All that talk was nonsense. I know the budget isn’t good but it isn’t the second worst in the division. Fisher said it was median quartile whatever that means. I think Harris should be doing better despite the budget limitations. He seems to have given up and is just waiting on more money to acquire decent players. Whether he will get that chance who knows.

Mark - In normal circumstances he’d be gone. These aren’t normal circumstances though. I doubt if we have the money to settle his contract so I think we are stuck with each other. Hard to believe that anyone could get worse results so I wouldn’t be sorry to see him leave. Gillingham Nil is grating.

BQGillsFan - What’s better? I don’t know. But can it get any worse? Not really. Sometimes, no matter how good a manager is, a change of voice is needed (take for example Ralph Hassenhuttl at Southampton). Harris is undeniably top three, if not top one, amongst managers in this league, but something clearly isn’t working, and there is yet another fractured relationship between the manager and the owner. I really don’t know what the answer is, or whether there even is one right now.

6. GILLINGHAM PROGRESSED INTO THE FOURTH ROUND OF THE LEAGUE CUP AFTER A 6-5 PENALTY SHOOTOUT WIN AGAINST BRENTFORD IN THE THIRD ROUND, WERE YOU ONE OF THE 2,163 GILLINGHAM SUPPORTERS IN THE AWAY END AT THE GTECH COMMUNITY STADIUM, AND WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER ABOUT THAT DAY ???

Loonpotter - It's nice to get a win like that but it's tarnished by the realisation that you'll probably be slipping further down the league on the following Saturday.

Rob - I did go to Brentford. The feeling that I had most was pride in our travelling support. We never stopped getting behind the team and the atmosphere was great. The team deserves credit for hanging in there and the goal was probably the best we have scored this season. I think we can also see from Brentford what’s possible if a club is well run and has a sustainable long term plan. Historically Brentford aren’t a significantly bigger club than Gillingham.

David - I wasn’t there.

Dazza - No I wasn’t there. Would love to have been. One of the few highlights.

Gillingham Legends - Unfortunately I didn't go due to work commitments and with our poor form, did not fancy our chances either. Was a fantastic and shock result of which we were all deserving of after little else to shout about in recent times.

Rob-B - I remember checking the score, seeing we had conceded and then not bothering to look again until right before the end of the match when I saw we had drawn. I listened to the penalties on the radio.

Mike - Yes I was 1 of the 2,163 fans that attended, apart from the win. It was the first time I’ve got off a coach and walked the last bit as the traffic was shocking. But on the pitch a great performance and the noise from us fans reminded me of the good old days in the championship.

Colin - Yes I was at Brentford. The result was a shock. Brentford eased off after their early goal and paid for it. The penalty shoot out was the only excitement we have had this season.

Mark - I was. I’ll be honest I only went to tick the ground off and have a few London beers.  I had little expectation of us doing anything. What do I remember? Great little ground, I’d love that to be ours. I enjoyed the atmosphere. I like the gallows humour of “we’ve lost the ball” chants. Obviously brilliant when we scored and when they missed the penalty. Great night. I want more like it. I want a new stadium like that. I think secretly I want to move to Richmond and become a Brentford fan Lee.

BQGillsFan - I was in attendance for the game, but not in the away end. I went with two uni mates who are Brentford fans, so I was stuck in with the home fans. It was the worst-best day of my life. I genuinely had a headache from trying to contain myself. Absolutely unbelievable night, and proof that there is something there with this team if given support from all areas of the club. We made Brentford look ordinary. Obviously better than us, but ordinary enough that we always had a chance. And I’m awful with watching penalty shoot-outs anyway, so imagine being stuck in with the home fans during that one. Hoping to make the trip to Wolverhampton for the next round, this time in with the away fans.

7. AND AS WELL AS PROGRESSING INTO THE FOURTH ROUND OF THE LEAGUE CUP, GILLINGHAM ARE STILL IN THE FA CUP THANKS TO SCOTT KASHKET’S STOPPAGE TIME EQUALISER AWAY AGAINST DAGENHAM & REDBRIDGE, CAN CUP RUNS IN THE FA CUP AND LEAGUE CUP GIVE GILLINGHAM THE FINANCES THEY NEED TO STRENGTHEN THE SQUAD IN JANUARY ??? - OR DO YOU THINK THE CUP RUNS IN BOTH COMPETITIONS HAVE BEEN UNWANTED DISTRACTIONS FROM OUR LEAGUE FORM ???

Loonpotter - You can never be distracted by extra income and/or cup wins.. Whether it’s used wisely is another issue.

Rob - The FA Cup is a decent money maker. There’s no prize money before the semis in the League Cup though, So gate receipts is the only difference and any gain is probably offset by other costs in the earlier rounds and the costs of participating in the EFL Trophy, which is definitely a pointless competition. Getting to R3 of the FA Cup would be nice for the club.

David - The cup runs are great.

Dazza - Cup runs vital with how poor we’ve been in the league. Extra funds (especially with some TV games) and also gives fans some big games to look forward to.

Gillingham Legends - I think we probably need the distractions from our league form and can try and take the cup form over. Financially it has to help too and the fans deserve nights like Brentford.

Rob-B - The finances we receive will make enable us to sign perhaps one player in January. I don't think that's enough. It's always good to be winning some games, although the bread and butter is the League.

Mike - Again a tough one as it brings in money that we can use in January but does take your eye off the bread and butter of the league. Neil Harris said the other day by the time we played Wolves we would have played 37 games where as Wolves have played 14, it’s crazy amount.

Colin - With the exception of the Brentford game, have stuttered our way through the early rounds of both cup competitions. There was nothing much between us and Fylde and Dagenham in terms of quality. A lot of the games are going to extra time, penalties or replays and that must be taking its toll on the squad. That said the squad is so bad I don’t think we have any key players we need to worry about more than others. At least cup football has brought us fans some cheer and the club/ owner some additional revenue.

Mark - Cup runs have been the only bright spot on a dark season. We need them and we need the money. I suspect we will set an exceptionally low gate for the replay though – under 2K perhaps.

BQGillsFan - Anything that can be considered a distraction from the league right now is a good thing. Cup runs are the things you remember more than anything as a fan, and the fact we could get three Premier League opponents in a single season is an amazing experience. Plus, the bonus of finances being bought in through prize money and TV, still being in both cup competitions is a great thing.

8. GILLINGHAM HAVE ONLY SCORED SIX GOALS IN NINETEEN MATCHES IN LEAGUE TWO - A DREADFUL STAT - AND ONLY ONE OF THE SIX GOALS GILLINGHAM HAVE SCORED IN THE LEAGUE HAS COME IN OPEN PLAY, WHAT DO YOU PUT THE POOR GOAL-SCORING RECORD DOWN TO ??? - LACK OF CREATIVITY IN MIDFIELD, POOR QUALITY STRIKERS UP-FRONT, HARRIS NOT SETTING GILLINGHAM UP TACTICALLY TO ATTACK TEAMS, OR ANY OTHER REASON YOU CAN THINK OF FOR GILLINGHAM ONLY SCORING SIX GOALS IN THE LEAGUE THIS SEASON ???

Loonpotter - They are clearly not good enough.. 1 or 2 bad games ok.. Half a season, not good enough.

Rob - I think that the lack of goals is mostly down to poor decision making and performance from the players. We have clearly got budget constraints and there are sometimes questions to be asked about the tactical setup but mostly we use possession very poorly and the forwards don’t show enough to make defenders work hard.

David - Poor quality strikers.

Dazza - Those 3 reasons you state are all correct Lee. Poor quality strikers. Poor quality delivery and lack of creativity from midfield. Defensive set up. I’d also add now, very low confidence. It’s a vicious cycle.

Gillingham Legends - It's pretty embarrassing. We do not have a decent goalscorer in the squad. Not just strikers, all over the pitch. We could certainly be creating more but are very light up front. Maybe the tactics aren't encouraging that. Must say we've not had much luck either though.

Rob-B - The players are simply not good enough. We lack creativity in midfield, the wingers are pacey but either have no end product or are so lightweight they fall over when someone breathes near them. Our strikers do not have a history of goalscoring and are also starved of confidence and supply.

Mike - A bit of everything, players, tactics and blooming bad luck!

Colin - We don’t have any goal-scorers. Mandron is the pick of the bunch but he has never been prolific wherever he has been. Kashket and Walker would struggle to get into the  Ebbsfleet team. The midfield engine room of Williams and O’Keefe have both had their day and create nothing. The wide players Green and Adelakun have been disappointing. Our full backs are slow and don’t overlap. We aren’t equipped to score goals.

Mark - Harris sets us up not to lose and that stifles creativity. We don’t have good enough players and the ones we have lack confidence. It’s a sad team to watch. I am so glad I didn’t renew my season ticket.  

BQGillsFan - I want the names of everyone who said fans were over-reacting when we bought Mikail Mandron back and we said it was shit. Unsurprisingly, a striker who was bad for us a few years ago, and is now older and had a worse scoring record since leaving, is still bad for us. There is absolutely no quality in any department up front, or in the creative areas of the midfield. We still should not be scoring so few goals; I feel like most Sunday League teams could manage what we’ve done by accident if you stuck them in League Two. It’s honestly embarrassing.

9. IT’S VERY UNFORTUNATE FOR ME TO ASK THIS QUESTION, AND MAYBE FELLOW SUPPORTERS MIGHT AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT, BUT THE MATCH-DAY EXPERIENCE AT PRIESTFIELD STADIUM HAS GENUINELY BEEN QUITE POOR THIS SEASON, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE GILLINGHAM DO TO IMPROVE THE MATCH-DAY EXPERIENCE AT HOME MATCHES ???

Loonpotter - Just win some games for a start to raise the atmosphere.

Rob - I sit in the Medway stand and the match day experience has been poor for years. The whole operation is staffed as cheaply as possible and therefore poorly led. The standard of food and beverage options is very low and it’s almost impossible to buy anything in the half time break. The tannoy system is not loud enough to hear and there’s no Wi-Fi or mobile signal. Some sort of half time entertainment would be fun for younger fans as well.

David - I haven’t been.

Dazza - More food outlets. More staff. Re open the club shop. Factory open longer before and after games. Personally I’d love to see a section of one stand have safe standing option to create better atmosphere. All these things cost money. Hopefully the new owner can provide.

Gillingham Legends - For me, the match day experience reflects how the team is doing. If the team is doing well, the attendances are higher and the atmosphere is much better. We're struggling and playing poorly, so the attendances are understandably down and the atmosphere is lacking. Not sure how much the other bits matter. If we were doing well, nobody would care.

Rob-B - We need to win more. Simple as that. A few weeks ago we were losing and the board went up for 6 minutes. People groaned, not because it wasn't enough, but because they wanted to go home. In years gone by the Rainham End would have been rocking as we pushed for an equaliser - this year, just resignation that we'd lost and wouldn't be coming back.

Mike - It only needs a couple of things changing like all the food kiosks open and not running out of food. Think music wise, Brentford had it to a tee with the build up music for the match so maybe we could do something like that to make Priestfield a fortress again.

Colin - The club is on its uppers. The ticket office is closed most of the time so getting away tickets means risking the Mail during industrial action, there isn’t an adequately stocked accessible club shop, the food offering has been poor, the Factory doesn’t sell real beer, there is no half time entertainment, the place looks dirty and unloved. All of this needs to change if former fans are to be enticed back.

Mark - Chances, excitement, goals that draw bigger crowds. People will watch a winning team. I’ve only done one home game all season. Not missed it one bit. I started in 1984.

BQGillsFan - One element is something stadium staff can’t control, and that’s the quality on the pitch. Obviously if the team was playing better, it would feel better going to games. But in terms of what can be done off the pitch, I have a few ideas. Firstly, drop ticket prices. We saw last year when prices came down, we nearly doubled the attendance and the atmosphere was great. Sell 3,000 tickets at £22, or sell 7-8,000 at £10 each? More money, more fans, better atmosphere. Secondly, pay the money to actually make sure the catering services have enough stock. The number of times over the last 18 months I’ve gone down at the start of half-time and there’s no more alcohol, no more hot food, no more water bottles is embarrassing. You know how many people turn up each week, why are supplies running out so quickly every match, and so frequently. Fans sit through 45 minutes of depression, then can’t even get a drink or food during the 15 minute pause before another 45 minutes of depression.

10. AND WITH THE 2022 WORLD CUP IN QATAR CURRENTLY ON-GOING, AND THE PREMIER LEAGUE AND CHAMPIONSHIP CLUBS TAKING A MID-SEASON BREAK, SHOULD GILLINGHAM BE DOING TICKET DEALS TO TRY AND GET MORE SUPPORTERS TO TURN UP TO LEAGUE TWO MATCHES AT PRIESTFIELD STADIUM ???

Loonpotter - I'm not sure it matters when match-day is as unattractive as it currently is.

Rob - I am not sure that there’s a ticket deal that overcomes the problem of the poor team and match day experience.  We are already letting youngsters in for free as it is. Undercutting season ticket holders when there isn’t really much point in having a season ticket already is probably bad for business in the longer term. It’s unlikely we will win any converts from Premier League or Championship clubs.

David - Of course we should.

Dazza - Yes. I’m glad they’ve done a deal this week. Pity some of our supporters find fault in it.

Gillingham Legends - I mean they could but honestly, in the position we're in, are the supporters going to be that interested? Especially when there's World Cup games on the TV. Again, if we were doing well it might be a different story.

Rob-B - Maybe but who is actually going to? Sit at home in the warm and watch Mbappe or pay £10 to freeze and watch a dreadful game of football.

Mike - This is a good idea but affects season ticket holders who miss out on the deals so it’s a catch 22 situation.

Colin - Sadly I can’t see too many Premiership fans coming to watch a team at the bottom of the league that can’t score goals.

Mark - Yes, but without advertising it won’t make much difference. Its also such a poor product why should we expect people to want to come.  

BQGillsFan - Brand it as a deal sure, but just repeat the above comments I made about ticket prices, applying it to ALL fans. The recent deal done for the Salford game is a slap in the face of regular fans, saying some dude with a Spurs or Chelsea season ticket can come for a £10 cos their team is on a break, whilst we regular fans still have to pay full price for more of the same we’ve supported all season is an insult.

11. GILLINGHAM HAVE SIGNED CALLUM HARRIOTT ON A SHORT TERM CONTRACT, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS SIGNING ???

Loonpotter - Potentially a decent signing but I'm ready to be let down.

Rob - I don’t know much about him. Hopefully he improves the squad.

David - We needed someone.

Dazza - Weird signing given the takeover events and promise of future funds this week. Unless Callum hits the ground running straight away, is quality at the level and on a very minimal wage, then I see no point in a 2 month(?) contract.

Gillingham Legends - A good player that I've always liked however he hasn't played for a long time and is way of fitness. We need more quality and IF he can get himself fit then he could provide it.

Rob-B - Yeah fine. He's not yet match fit so I don't know when we'll be seeing him and his record is okay. I can't imagine he'll do much to change this team.

Mike - Good signing if we can get him fully fit but sounds like we a couple of weeks away from that.

Colin - The transcript of the recent court case doesn’t paint a pretty picture. As a footballer he has some talent but he isn’t anywhere near match fit and I doubt we will see much of him before his deal expires.

Mark - I suspect we will never see him play. If he can get fit then potentially a good signing but a sign of predicament that we have to sign players who are not match fit.

BQGillsFan - Genuinely know nothing about the guy. Been drilled into me not to have high hopes, so I’ll wait and see before even beginning to be optimistic.

12. AND WITH THE JANUARY TRANSFER WINDOW JUST AROUND THE CORNER, WHICH POSITIONS IN THE SQUAD WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE GILLINGHAM STRENGTHEN ??? - AND HOW MANY PLAYERS WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE GILLINGHAM SIGN, TWO, THREE, FOUR, OR MORE THEN FOUR ???

Loonpotter - Strengthen everywhere!!!

Rob - I think we need a centre half, 2 attacking midfielders and a centre forward. Probably need a goalkeeper too with Morris injured.

David - We need to sign as many as we can.

Dazza - Last week I’d have said 2 or 3 players in if we could afford it. Now, IF a full takeover happens, I think we may get 4 or 5 players in. And in an ideal world they will be forwards and a creative midfielder or 2. We probably could do with another full back (Mnoga going back) and a keeper.

Gillingham Legends - Quite a few I'd say. Obviously a goalscorer is a priority. A quick, creative player or two. A solid central defender would be good to partner Baggott.

Rob-B - I think we're fine in goal. Turner is okay for this level. Baggott/Wright is okay but the full backs are weak. O'Keefe, Williams and Jeffries are decent but lack creativity. The wingers are dreadful and the strikers lack any kind of potency. We need 5 or 6 to keep us up, and then another 6 or 7 to challenge next year.

Mike - Where to start, I think goalkeeper is sorted. Defence we need to strengthen up along with midfield and the forward dept well a full change so I think about 6 players if possible.

Colin - The whole squad is inadequate. I can’t see us bringing in nine or ten players though and the priority has to be three new strikers.

Mark - We need as many as we can and we need them to be better quality than we have. They need to make an impact as immediate starters not be substitutes. If not I think we will be relegated.

BQGillsFan -  Striker, attacking midfielder, two wingers, centre-back and a left-back…. And maybe about 10 other players too. I hear Cristiano Ronaldo is a free agent, reckon he’d like the change of scenery.

13. GLENN MORRIS, RYAN LAW, ELKAN BAGGOTT, HAKEEB ADELAKUN AND HAGI MNOGA ARE GILLINGHAM’S FIVE LOAN SIGNING’S IN OUR SQUAD, HOW MANY OF THE PLAYERS LISTED HERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE GILLINGHAM KEEP UNTIL THE END OF THE SEASON ???

Loonpotter - I wouldn't be bothered if they all left.

Rob - I would keep Morris if he’s fit, Law if management doesn’t think they can get anyone better and Baggott regardless. The other 3 have not been up to the level needed and so should be gone.

David - Not many.

Dazza - Only Elkan Baggott to stay. I can now see all the rest returning to their clubs and us trying another set of 5 loans.

Gillingham Legends - I'd probably keep all except M'Noga. Morris is still a good keeper at the level and if fit, I'd keep. Baggott has been decent and is improving all the time. Adelakun has been a bit hit and miss but is probably the most gifted player we have. Law is nothing special but fairly reliable. M'Noga started terribly and has never recovered or had the chance to. The manager obviously doesn't think he's good enough either.

Rob-B - Morris ideally, but I know is injured. Law is okay as a backup, Baggott has improved after a shaky start. Adelakun is neither here not there and Mnoga is on a fast track to the Isthmian League.

Mike - Glenn Morris can stay, Elkan Baggott would love him to stay but Ipswich have other plans I think. Hakeeb Adelaukun maybe and Hagi Mnoga just hasn’t worked out and sounds like he is going back in January.

Colin - Law, Adelakun and Mnoga haven’t been any good and should be binned off. Morris is currently injured and Baggott is going to be missing for 6 weeks so we might have seen the last of both of them too.

Mark - Morris and Baggott.

BQGillsFan - Elkan Baggott is the only one of our loan signings I’d be happy to see back in the future.

14. DO YOU THINK THE LACK OF CONTINUITY IN THE SQUAD FROM ONE SEASON TO THE NEXT IS WHY GILLINGHAM ARE STRUGGLING IN LEAGUE TWO THIS SEASON, BECAUSE CALLUM HARRIOTT IS GILLINGHAM’S SEVENTEENTH SIGNING THIS SEASON AND THE NUMBER OF SIGNINGS IS ONLY GOING TO INCREASE IN JANUARY, AND THE SUMMER JUST GONE WAS ANOTHER SUMMER WHERE GILLINGHAM HAVE HAD TO COMPLETELY RE-BUILD THE FIRST TEAM SQUAD ???

Loonpotter - Hard to say.. If you get good enough players in it shouldn't matter too much.

Rob - I think that getting to a point where the manager doesn’t start every July with 6-7 players will be a big part of making the club competitive again. There are a number of other clubs in League One and Two in the same boat but it is rare that anyone recruits 15 new players in July and competes at the top of the table in any division.

David - Yes

Dazza - Having a constant turn over of players doesn’t help. But we aren’t the only club. Football has changed massively over the years. Players very rarely stay anywhere for more than a few seasons. It would be nice to get a few players signed on longer contracts at younger age. But it’s always a risk.

Gillingham Legends -  Having to sign so many players is always a gamble. It worked for two seasons with Evans but the last two haven't. You never know if the players are going to gel, it can take time and at the moment it's looking like it's not working. I'm not sure Harris knows his best team and he's chopped and changed an awful lot which doesn't help either.

Rob-B - Possibly. We don't offer long contracts, but then, of those who were already under contract, how many would we want to keep? Harris said not all and I would agree.

Mike - Hopefully once the takeover happens we may only see this again in January and the end of this season then hopefully player movement will start to settle down.

Colin - No. We are poor because we have let the likes of Vadaine Oliver,  Kyle Dempsey and Danny Lloyd go without replacing them and Shorey has recruited some very poor players.

Mark - Yes, without a doubt. It also stops us developing players to sell on at a profit. It’s something the new owner must address.

BQGillsFan - Well yeah. Changing the entire squad every season is never going to allow for consistency on the field. And whilst we’ve been fortunate enough to find hidden gems doing this in recent years (Eaves, Graham, Ogilvie, Dempsey), you’ll eventually hit a period where recruitment throws up nothing but duds, which is what has happened for the last two seasons.

15. AND OF THE SIGNINGS GILLINGHAM HAVE MADE THIS SUMMER AND DURING THE SEASON, WHICH PLAYER DO YOU THINK HAS BEEN GILLINGHAM’S BEST SIGNING ???

Loonpotter - I can't pick a best, I've been disappointed too often.

Rob - Glenn Morris.

David - I don’t know.

Dazza - Elkan Baggott by far. Turner has played well and Morris was good until injury. Wright has had some good games but a bit inconsistent. The rest have not played to the standard I think they are capable.

Gillingham Legends - Probably Shaun Williams. We seem to play better when he's playing. He's a calm, experienced presence.

Rob-B - Erm...Kashket maybe. I genuinely have no idea who my player of the season is so far, Morris I guess.

Mike - Can’t really pick out anyone at the moment I’m afraid.

Colin - Baggott has generally looked better than the rest. Will Wright has had a couple of decent games at centre back. It’s hard to be positive.

Mark - Arguably Morris which speaks volumes but I think Baggott is getting better.

BQGillsFan - I think it’s generous to call anyone a ‘best’ signing, but by definition I guess someone has to be. I’d say probably Elkan Baggott.

16. DO YOU THINK THE GROUP STAGE OF THE FOOTBALL LEAGUE TROPHY AND THE FIRST AND SECOND ROUNDS OF THE LEAGUE CUP SHOULD BE PLAYED IN THE SUMMER, WHICH COULD ALLOW FOR MORE MID-WEEK FIXTURES TO BE FREED UP FOR LEAGUE MATCHES AND POSSIBLE POSTPONEMENTS LATER ON IN THE SEASON ???

Loonpotter - No, I like the current schedule.

Rob - I’d bin the EFL Trophy altogether. Not that interested in when it is scheduled. If we had a more talented and stable squad it would be useful for fringe players getting game time.

David - No.

Dazza - No idea, but I can’t see it happening. I’d sooner see the Mickey Mouse cup be reformatted into a pre-season friendly competition to free up some time during the season. And scrap replays in first few rounds of the 2 major cups.

Gillingham Legends - Maybe the Papa John's trophy could, it's is a waste of time anyway. Don’t see a problem with the league Cup as it is.

Rob-B - No, just get rid of the Pizza cup. It's an insult that we have to have Premier League and Championship U21s side playing in the tournament with up and coming stars like Jay Spearing and Andrew Crofts playing for their respective sides.

Mike - Yes 100%

Colin - The EFL trophy should be a knock out competition solely for League One and Two member clubs. I don’t think bringing players back early will help their close season recovery.

Mark - I think the trophy should be binned. Summer evening football sounds nice to me.

BQGillsFan - With the Football League Trophy, honestly bin the competition off. Nobody goes to the games, none of the teams want to play it, it makes scheduling a nightmare if there needs to be other games played from cancellations/replays in other competitions. It could just be the tournament format needs a rework, but I honestly don’t care enough about it to think about how to do that. Then without the Football League Trophy, League Cup fixtures being where they are wouldn’t be as much of a problem.

17. DAGENHAM & REDBRIDGE V GILLINGHAM WAS A 5PM KICK OFF TIME, AND GILLINGHAM V SALFORD CITY IS A 12.30PM, DO THE CHANGE IN KICK OFF TIMES AFFECT IF YOU CAN MAKE IT TO A MATCH, AND IF A CHANGE IN KICK OFF DOES HAPPEN, DO YOU PREFER THE 12.30 - 1PM KICK OFF TIME, OR, 5PM ???

Loonpotter - 12.30-1pm I think is better.. you still have the evening to drink away what you just witnessed on the pitch.

Rob - Kick off times changing is generally a pain but I am more likely to still go if it’s early than late. Less cold that way!

David - I don’t go to home matches.

Dazza - Changes in Time don’t affect me. No preference. It’s todays game which is tied to TV timing. It won’t change.

Gillingham Legends - Personally it doesn't affect me too much, in fact at this moment in my life with young kids, an earlier or later kick off actually suits me better as it's less disruptive to the day. However I do like tradition and think 3pm should always be standard.

Rob-B - 12:30 is a bit of a pain this week as I'm going on the train. Doesn't overly affect me.

Mike - It doesn’t really affect me what time kick off but I know it does to many others, hopefully this is just due to the world cup and not something that will change going forward.

Colin - I live locally so can generally make the revised times but I prefer the traditional 3pm on a Saturday starts. Many people of course have to miss out on attending because of other commitments. FIFA is corrupt and hosting the World Cup should never have been “won” by Qatar.

Mark - It doesn’t this season as I’m not going to games. If I were going then I’d prefer lunchtime to 5PM.  

BQGillsFan - Not really. Wasn’t sure I’d be attending either anyway, so not a big deal for me to see kick off times changes.

18. GILLINGHAM PLAY AGAINST SALFORD CITY ON SATURDAY 3RD OF DECEMBER, WHAT IS YOU PREDICTED GILLINGHAM STARTING LINE UP AND SUBSTITUTES BENCH FOR THIS LEAGUE TWO FIXTURE ???

Loonpotter - I don't think even Neil Harris knows that.

Rob - Turner, McKenzie, Wright, Ehmer, Baggott, Williams O’Keefe, Reeves, Kashket, McDonald, Mandron. Subs: Alexander, Law, Adelakun, Green, Jeffries,  Walker and the Goalkeeper whose name I don’t remember.

David - I don’t know.

Dazza - I’d have a stab at the same starting line up v Salford. Up front I’d like to see Gbode given a good long run at it. Either starting (and given 60-70 mins) or coming on with plenty of time left not after 80 mins. I reckon if he can get a goal or two his confidence will soar.

Gillingham Legends - Who knows! As already mentioned, Harris seems to change the team every week so it's anyone's guess. Honestly don't know. I'd imagine Kashket is probably deserving of a start though.

Rob-B - Turner; McKenzie, Wright, Baggott, Law; O'Keefe, Williams, Jeffries; Adelakun, Kashket; Mandron. Whoever else is left on the bench.

Mike - I expect changes following Dagenham last week, predicting it is a lucky dip.

Colin - Choosing a team from the current squad is deeply depressing but if I must it’s Turner, Alexander, Wright, Ehmer, Law,  Williams, Jeffries, McDonald, Adelakun, Mandron, Gbode.  Anyone left who is halfway fit will be on the bench.

Mark - Same as last game – he really doesn’t have much choice.

BQGillsFan - Turner, McKenzie, Wright, Baggott, Law, Williams, Jeffries, Adelukan, McDonald, Gbode, Kashket // Subs: Holtham, Alexander, Ehmer, O’Keefe, Reeves, Walker, Mandron.

19. AND WHAT IS YOUR SCORE PREDICTION FOR GILLINGHAM V SALFORD CITY ???

Loonpotter - 2-0 to Salford

Rob - Gillingham Nil, Salford Nil.

David - Nothing To Add.

Dazza - 1-1 is the most positive result I can honestly hope for. Unfortunately I think a loss will come along and dent our good vibes from this week.

Gillingham Legends - I'm gonna be optimistic and say 1-0 to the Gills.

Rob-B - 0-2.

Mike - 1-0 snatch and grab.

Colin - We will lose 0-1.

Mark - Gillingham to lose to nil – I’ll go with 0-2.

BQGillsFan - 0-3 to Salford.

20. AND FINALLY, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WISH TO ADD (EXAMPLE: IS THERE SOMETHING I HAVE NOT COVERED IN THE NINETEEN QUESTIONS ASKED ABOVE YOU WANT TO EXPAND UPON) ???

Loonpotter - I have no confidence that the right players will be brought in in January.

Rob - I can’t see any justification for not having a flat rate for ticket prices at this level.

David - Nothing To Add.

Dazza - Regarding Brad Galinson. My hope is that the charge against Priestfield is the first part of a full takeover and is simply a way to get debts cleared and funds into the club to help in Jan. An announcement along these lines might give the fanbase a lift and get the place buzzing again. Having Priestfield (or Mill Hill) as it was back in the glory years of the Championship, and maybe even better, is the stuff of my dreams.

Gillingham Legends - Just want to add with regards to the proposed takeover, that I remember when Scally bought the club when the club was in real financial despair, (which it's worth noting we are nowhere near that currently) the feeling and atmosphere around the club and fans was instantly buzzing. This was obviously helped by a fantastic team assembled by a great manager and years of unprecedented success followed. I'm hoping and praying that if it does go through we can have that feeling once again. UTG!

Rob-B - No. Thanks for doing this again Lee, having a good Christmas and New Year. Let's hope 2023 is a much brighter year for Gills than 2022 was!

Mike - Let’s hope that the takeover happens and the good times return, UP The Gills!!

Colin - Scally really does need to go.

Mark - I think you could have asked us to summarise the Scally era – maybe that’s for next time if he truly has gone.

BQGillsFan - I’ve already done enough moaning today, don’t think adding any more comments would be handy at this point.

Once again, thank you to everyone for participating in this blog, and if anyone who is reading this wishes to participate in The Next Gillingham Supporters Blog, then feel free to send me a message, and your more than welcome to participate in The Next Gillingham Supporters Blog, The Strength Of The Gillingham Supporters Blog comes from everyone who has contributed, so once again, thank you to everyone who has participated in every single Gillingham Supporters Blog, Now, Gillingham have got three home matches in a row against Salford City, Dagenham & Redbridge and Bradford City, hopefully, Gillingham can get off to the best start and set the tone by winning against Salford City Today - COME ON THE GILLS!!!!!!!!!!

[toges-wife]

hi! could i get an inumaki x shy!musician! reader? thank you in advance!

Your Lovely Notes <3

Pairing: Inumaki x shy!musician!reader

Word count: 0.7k

Warnings: music

Note; sorry i don't listen to music that's why it took long.

Photo credit: [1] [3]

Toge was into music, it was his life! He didn't care about the genre, it was the best way to express his emotions. Once he was in the bus on his way back from school. He was pissed off, he wasn't in mood to talk with anyone. He just couldn't wait until he gets home.

Suddenly he found a person entering the bus. "Nice, now they will sit next to me cuz its the only available seat?" He thought at first. You were holding your guitar looking down while walking afraid to make eye contact with anyone.

Taking your seat you found him frowning at you. Then when he saw the guitar his expression changed immediately! "Can i have a look?" He typed down on his phone. You just nodded "here, it's my favourite... someone special bought it for me." You said shyly showing him it.

"Mhm.. shake!" He said as he started trying to play some notes of his favourite song. "No, it's the wrong note, it's played like this" you moved his fingers, "oh-" he said then typed "I'm new for this, anyway, I've reached my destination. Thanks it was nice :)" you read it and gave him a nod as he got off the bus waving at you.

"He was nice" you thought to yourself. After 5 minutes you got off the bus, you didn't realise that you live next to his place at first until you were out for a walk you saw him watering his plants and taking care of his pets.

"Oh- kelp!" He waved at you as soon as he recognised you, you didn't know what to respond and went like "kelp?" He just nodded. "Oh hi, so you live nearby, right? I recently moved here.." you started the conversation as he just welcomed you to his garden.

You sat there awkwardly but after he was just not talking like others you tried asking him why. He just explained that he can't talk and took off his mask. "A- a curse?!" You were scared. He was afraid that you will think of him as a freak or weird.

He suddenly started talking other than the ingredients. "It's not like i cant talk... but please... promise me.. don't hate me or get scared." You looked at him confused and started asking many questions, it was actually interesting.

Since that day you both always visit eachother. But toge had something he always wanted to ask you about but he was shy. But now since you got closer he decided to ask. "Can you teach me how to play? Like with the guitar since I'm new to this...." he texted you as he immediately closed his phone and threw it away.

"Oh I'm so dumb- i shouldn't have asked," he thought but once he checked if you replied eventually you did. So he was happy that you didn't mind. You actually invited him over to practice a bit. He came with some flowers and a note (Sorry For bothering you). You just smiled and told him it's okay.

You went to your room and started to practice a bit. But it was all fun. He was making jokes and talking, it's just he was happy. He made you smile and become more happier. These days passed by and toge learnt how to play the guitar correctly.

But you liked him. He was your close friend. You weren't sure if he likes you back. But since he couldn't communicate he was trying to play a song which completely fits for the situation. He didn't like you. He loved you.

He loved everything about you. Your hair, your face, how your hands started playing with the guitar, how shy you are. Literally everything. He didn't know how to tell you. But he wrote a love song for you.

It went like he gave his best friend to sing while he played the notes. Yuta said, "this song is fom my best friend to y/n! I hope you liked it." When he gave you the song and you listened to it your heart melted and he got embarrassed.

"I- i like you back..." you said still in shock. he smiled happily and genuinely. "Shake...!"

© toges-wife on tumblr. Do not repost or claim any of my works as yours. + do not translate without permission.

[formulatrash]

Ok I’m not answering 43768564908 asks about the Stroll thing, i’m just going to talk more generally about interviewing drivers and the role of post-session media pen, especially in this year where media has had less access to the track and drivers.

Boring media chat under the cut, to explain why it’s so frustrating when drivers give you absolutely nothing in an interview. 

So in Formula One, what used to happen with every driver and some team representatives (team principals, engineers, whoever) every race weekend would be:

Thursday: roundtable with media for between 10 and 20 minutes Friday: probably another session, although tends more towards a Q&A by team Saturday: post-qualifying roundtable between 10 and 20 minutes Sunday: post-race roundtable or Q&A session

This is in addition to the FIA press conferences and separate to TV duties, which in F1 is what’s normally called media pen. 

In Formula E we get a two press conferences (one drivers, one team principals) of 15 minutes each on Friday, then 30 minute of media pen, then one post-race press conference for the top 3 and a further 15 minutes of media pen. Media pen is a total bundle between TV crews, written journalists and whoever. 

Under COVID, F1 media got press conferences with each team on Friday (the ones you see YouTube videos off which the written media are fairly rightly peeved they no longer have first dibs to let alone exclusive access) and then were shared files post-qualifying and the race of interviews done with each driver by FOM staff journalists like Lawrence (Barretto) and Will (Buxton).

I do think there was a lot in the previous media schedules but F1 also attracts a lot of media and that’s how it’s able to command vast amounts of sponsorship. If you can say your drivers and personnel, wearing a company’s logo, will appear in articles read by, idk, 500 million people every year online and in 15 countries’ national press then you have a much stronger case that you provide good advertising value for the money the sport needs to operate.

It is obligatory that the drivers do it. Is it always nice? No, god, I hate asking them things when they’re down. I am haunted by an interview I did with Sam Bird in Mexico this year where I had to demand from his press officer that he got up and spoke to me (it was media pen, it’s when this is permitted) because it was my unpleasant job to ask what happened to him in the race and his unpleasant job to give me some sort of answer. It feels like bullying, even when you are as gentle as possible but also it let me write a more sympathetic piece, explaining what had happened.

Journalists can be mean and drivers can be short with us. JEV gives terrible answers when he’s in a mood, especially to men (he is more wary of male journalists, especially if they look like they’re from F1) and he completely flipped off the final media sessions in Berlin, paying several thousand Euro of fines instead, because he was in such a mood.

But it is their job to talk in these sessions. They can be moody and unhappy and actually I think we’re all very sympathetic to that but they do actually have to do them. You don’t get to race the multimillion dollar cars without doing the press that surrounds them. 

You ask a question like “I”m sure today must have been really frustrating, I can see you’re not happy but could you just talk through what happened at the start, I think we missed it on the TV broadcast so it’d be useful to just get it straight” and then maybe distract them from their own race a bit like “some areas of the track looked quite heavily damaged, in the latter stages of the race - could you describe what that was like, as a driver” before you have to get into the inevitable “obviously this is difficult to take and I know you’re really disappointed but could you just quickly explain what happened with that failure in the final laps - was it electronics or in the drivetrain?”

Like, we’re honestly not there to bully them. Some journalists might but not most of us.

I really understand mistrusting and disliking the press - hell, I mistrust and dislike most of ‘em, myself included - but expecting a driver to give a reasonable quote isn’t mean, especially because journalists (mostly) go absolutely above and beyond to try and wheedle something out of them. We’ll be gentle and give them potential excuses or distractions to latch onto, most of the time, even if that’s not how the final headline ends up. 

So yeah, one of the reasons Lance doesn’t get very much good press is because he doesn’t do any press. I’m sure we’d all like to see longer and more interesting quotes from him and I think he used to get more support for that at Williams but for whatever reason, he has stopped. It’s understandable but it’s also frustrating because it’s like: I am trying, here. 

The interview Lawrence Barretto did with him where he was working really hard to get an answer and it lasted exactly 23 seconds is a particularly strong example. Sure, he’s pissed - but that was what the international media got to write up articles with, after the race. Not a lot I can do with that, although it was a very quick bit of transcription...

George also gives quite short answers usually but in full quotes - you don’t have to be a Pierre-style conversational essayist where you say “hello how was you r-” and get a 23-minute monologue on the beauty of speed, what lessons you can learn through the chicane and what Pierre had for dinner last night tied up to a beautiful and philosophical conclusion but just like. Something to write up. 

Doesn’t change how Lance is as a driver but from a member of the press’ perspective it is insanely frustrating to just never have anything to write about him because he gives us nothing. 

Basically: I can’t write “Stroll just vibing after disappointing race” as a headline. U gotta give me at least a sentence, here, then we work hard to mould the rest into context.

[julemmaes]

You marry me, Alas

"Stop eating all my popcorn, they're for the tree" AU

Thomas Lightwood and Alastair Carstairs Fluff Christmas Holiday AU

Okay I kept on writing because apparently it is fun, and I did a little something for my boo @tyherondaletrash who deserves the world and all the love we can give her. And tomorrow is Monday, so it’ll be a shitty shitty day for her (not for me, schools are closed;)) and I hope I can improve her mood a little.

Just gonna tell you that there’s a little angst, a lot of fluff and SHIT TON of sex references, but nothing too serious, hope you’ll enjoy it

Word count: 2,364

Thomas poured the last pan of popcorn into the biggest bowl and picked up the few who had fallen on the island before eating them. He left everything in the kitchen as he went up the stairs of their new house to go get a needle and thread.

Alastair would never agree to do such a thing, he would probably complain all the time about the grease on his hands or the fact that “food should be eaten, not used to make stupid necklaces”, but Tom really wanted to get him into the Christmas spirit. Because that would be the first Christmas they spent with their families and especially the first Christmas since Alastair and Cordelia’s father got out of rehab.

Thomas had found out from James. One afternoon, when only the two of them had gone out to make gifts to the others, out of nowhere he had asked how Alastair was taking it. Thomas had looked at him frowning, because he didn’t understand what he was talking about, and when James told him that their father was going back to London after all those months out of town, the sky fell down on him. Not because he was upset.

He had mostly panicked and text-bombing his boyfriend, who, busy with a business meeting, had not replied right away. And then Thomas had called him. Fifteen times. And when Alastair came out of the meeting he thought the other was dead. He had called back immediately and was slightly angry when Thomas told him to go home because they needed to talk. He tried to imply that he knew about Elias, but Alastair seemed too focused on the fact that he called him so many times, and so he had to be the one with the issue that needed resolving.

Tom sighed, remembering how he had had to pull every word out of Alas' lips, which eventually gave away and began to cry. He had rarely seen his boyfriend cry, but he had never felt so much hatred and anger in his sobs. It was difficult to feel affection for his beloved’s father at that time. A father who had taken away his childhood and forced him to protect his sister’s.

He found the needle in the drawer of his bedside table and took one of the little balls of white thread that Alastair kept in his drawer (for when the buttons fell from his shirts), and went down to the first floor again. He returned to the kitchen, and did not immediately notice that his boyfriend was sitting on the counter swinging his feet and eating his popcorn… his popcorn!

“Hey! I was eating those!”Alastair shouted when Thomas tore the bowl from his hands.

“Make them yourself, if you are hungry! These go on the tree. And you will help me.” he said, sulking like a child, holding the popcorn in his chest. Alastair shook his head sighing and, making a small leap to get off the island, gave his assent.

They went into the living room and sat on the carpet next to the tree. A tree that had been bought almost a week earlier and still didn’t have a single ball on it. This was due to the fact that since Alastair’s holidays had started, there hadn’t been a minute when the two of them hadn’t rolled around in bed.

Sometimes it was annoying to stay apart all day and then be too tired to do any other activity but sleeping, so as soon as the chance to spend some time together for their own business had presented itself, they had not been able to resist and had locked themselves in the house for a week, receiving complaints from Lucie and Christopher, who wanted to go out with them, but they both had repeatedly refused to make the famous double dates she loved so much and shut the door in front of a very confused Kit.

“So? How do we do these things?” asked Alastair by taking a popcorn and throwing it in his mouth.

“Certainly not like that.” muttered Thomas, taking two meters of thread for him and two for the other boy and starting to stick it in his needle, “First put the thread in the needle and then stab the popcorn, like this.” He showed it to him and continued undisturbed until a sound of frustration escaped Alastair’s control and Tom was forced to interrupt his work. Looking up, Thomas never thought he’d find himself in front of an Alastair red of rage with a twisted thread around his fingers, desperately trying not to prick himself again.

“How the fuck do you put something so big inside something so small?! It’s impossible.” Alastair’s hands were shaking from how focused he was, and that didn’t help with his task.

Thomas' eyebrows shot up and, refraining from laughing, he placed his necklace on the ground, gently taking his boyfriend’s hands into his own, stopping that tremendous trembling, “I don’t think you should make another joke like that, or I’ll be forced to leave this tree naked another day to show you how it’s done,” he whispered to him with a wink. Thomas heard him mutter something about being naked and that as far as he was concerned that tree could also burn in the fireplace. “Here.” passed the needle with the already threaded thread, “you have to hold it from here otherwise it slips out.” Alastair thanked him before he took a handful of popcorn and took it to his mouth. Thomas refrained from snorting and began his work once more. He still felt that the other was confabulating and a quick glance made him realize that he would never accomplish anything.

Not even five minutes passed before Alastair stood up and started yelling at the popcorn, which kept breaking and falling off. He stomped his feet on the ground like a child and at that point Thomas could not hold back any longer, bursting into a loud laugh, with his head pulled back.

Alastair took that laugh as an invitation to do something else and on his way to their room, took all the presents he hadn’t wrapped yet, wrapping paper and tape, before he sat down next to his boyfriend. He stared at the books he had bought for Cordelia for a whole minute before taking a deep breath and really started working.

Meanwhile Thomas seemed to have finished his first necklace and was starting the one he had abandoned. Alastair took the wrapping paper and began to rip it in half, so that he had enough for every book, but of course something had to go wrong and a sharp pain took over his finger. He looked at his hand and two drops of blood came out of his thumb, “For fuck’s sake.”

Thomas, intrigued by his boyfriend’s swearing, turned to him, giggling, “I agree. Today is not your day.” he told him, nibbling a popcorn, “Do you want me to go get you a Band-Aid? At least you won’t stain the books.” he proposed with a shy smile.

Alastair turned to him, to that boy he loved so much that sometimes he wondered how it was possible that everything was real. That Thomas was really his. That he could finally be happy, too, if he had someone like Tom by his side.

“Don’t worry, I can go by myself.” he bent down on the other, brushing his lips with his own, but the other took him by the neck of the shirt pulling him down towards him and the kiss became more intense. Alastair lost his balance, ending up on Thomas, that by now was lying on his back, his hands going up under the other’s shirt.

They split just to catch their breath, and when Alastair finally broke off, Thomas gave a grunt of discomfort at the lack of contact, “We said no sex today. And no sex will be.”

“That was a stupid fucking rule, then.” Thomas said, raising his hips against Alastair’s, making him feel how even that little contact between them made him feel. Alastair closed his eyes leaning his forehead against that of the other, laying a last little kiss on his lips. He stood up, resting on his arms and then helped Thomas, lending him a hand.

“Are you sure you want to go to the bathroom? Isn’t it that with your bad luck, you come in and the patches are gone?” Thomas joked on the way to the kitchen to get a drink. Alastair saw from the croner of his eye that he was adjusting his trouser and could not stop his mind when he thought “Stupid rule, indeed”, but they had to finish decorating the house, tomorrow would be Christmas Eve and all their friends and families would come here. Explaining to his mother that you hadn’t decorated anything because you were too busy fucking didn’t seem like a tempting thing to do.

“No you’re actually right. Could you take it fom me?” He took his finger between his lips and sucked it. At least there was no more blood.

“That shitty rule is ruining my day. At this point we would have finished everything.” he was looking at him like a lioness looks at a gazelle after a week of starving. Yet, that lioness had eaten, even too many times, wondered Alastair. He scoffed, knowing full well that they wouldn’t have done anything if it wasn’t for that one rule.

“Stop it, Lightwood, and hurry up so we can finish early and after we can do what we want.” He smiled greedily, swooped over the couch with an athletic jump and landed just two inches from him. He put the Band-Aid on him, insisting that he needed to touch him somehow, and for Alastair to take the piss out of him, those tiny displays of affection swollen his heart.

They both went back to doing what they had to do, until Alastair finished wrapping and then put all the balls there were to be put on the tree, and all the streamers. He also began to decorate the kitchen and the entrance, putting sprigs of mistletoe here and there at Thomas' request. If he had to be completely honest, that afternoon wasn’t as bad as he initially thought.

He was getting up on the chair to put the last twig on the front door, when a Christmas tune blew up the house at full volume, scaring him and making him almost fall, “Oh hell, no,” he complained softly, but he would never ask Thomas to turn it off. For some strange reason, Christmas made him ten times happier, kinder. Perhaps it was because his past Christmas had been spent with a loving family, in houses full of gratitude and happiness, while Alastair’s had all been spent hiding his father’s eggnog where he could not find it and to buy a gift to his sister at the last minute, because no one ever remembered to drive him to the mall.

He came down from the chair in silence and took it back to the counter, where he leaned with both elbows before burying his face in his hands. Stop it, he said to himself, or you will ruin Christmas to everyone, including Thomas. He took a trembling breath, trying to calm down. His father was fine. Cordelia had told him. Layla, his sweet little Layla, who had gone to see Elias alone because he had refused to see him. Layla, who had been forced to meet an alcoholic father alone after knowing a complete different person for a very long time.

He looked out the window, where the snow was starting to come down slowly. He did not notice the volume of the music being lowered, or Thomas looking at him from the doorframe, again, but this time with a hard, thoughtful look. He did not even notice him when the first sob came out of his lips and he cursed under his breath so as not to be heard.

He only noticed Thomas when he approached him with two big strides, and circled his shoulders with his arms, bringing him close to himself, cradling him as he had done every time. Alastair turned to him, hiding his face in his chest, as a liberating cry made its way into him.

Thomas lifted him from the ground and, holding him as tight as he could, went to the couch, where he sat whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

They were like this for hours, one next to the other. The forgotten popcorn necklaces on the floor next to the tree and the half-packed gifts to keep them company.

Alastair looked up at Thomas only when he was sure he was no longer crying and what he saw on the other’s face stopped his breath. There were traces of tears on Thomas' cheeks as well. Alastair sat up straight, still on his boyfriend’s lap, holding both hands to his face, “Tom,” he whispered passing a finger on his cheekbone. Thomas took his hand in his, taking it to his mouth and leaving a tender kiss on his palm, before resting it on his chest, on his heart.

Thomas looked him in the eye and as every time he looked at him his love grew and grew so much that for a second he was afraid he would explode, he was sure that he would die if he did nothing to let Alastair know his feelings. How much he loved him and how much this love grew every day. For everything that he meant to him and for everything he stood for.

Thomas had a completely crazy idea in mind, but he was sure, sure of that love. Sure that the only voice that mattered in the midst of the thousand that he heard every day was the voice of the man who stood on his lap at that moment. And he was not afraid when he opened his mouth and moved to speak, did not feel fear, only an indescribable emotion, while…

“Marry me.”

“You marry me, Alas.”

[ducktracy]

177. dog daze (1937)

release date: september 18th, 1937

series: merrie melodies

director: friz freleng

starring: mel blanc (police dog, spitz, russian wolf hounds), billy bletcher (st. bernard), berneice hansell (puppy)

around this time, friz freleng left warner bros. to reconnect with his former co-workers and friends, hugh harman and rudolf ising, over at MGM. he’d serve a relatively short stint as director there, coming back to WB as soon as april 1939. the backlog of friz cartoons would trickle out until early 1938, where he would then be replaced by ben hardaway and cal dalton. friz has seniority at the studio, going as far back as animating for the 1929 pilot bosko, the talk-ink kid. while this isn’t his last cartoon, it remains an intriguing talking point! he’d make his biggest splash upon his return, directing a number of great black and white porky cartoons and making other little-known characters such as yosemite sam and sylvester, to name a select few. let’s not get too ahead of ourselves, now: here, we’re treated to a number of spot-gags involving dogs—including a drunken st. bernard.

patrons stream into a theater advertising the local dog show. it’s not a ‘30′s cartoon without a celebrity caricature of some sort--a lumbering caricature of humorist/author irvin s. cobb moseys along down the street with his identical looking bulldog. he’s followed by william powell and his pooch asta, both featured relatively prominently in speaking of the weather just 2 shorts ago. and, furthering the connection to the aforementioned cartoon, we get another gag implying that the dog took a leak on a nearby pole: powell marches past a spare pole, when suddenly his leash is yanked from behind, leaving the audience to read between the lines.

another gag that is more reminiscent of the early days of animation: your stereotypical “fat lady” gag, underscored by a rather sardonic rendition of “oh, you beautiful doll”. the woman, in an attempt to fit into the seats, ends up shoving the entire row out of the way. not much to add here: fatphobia funny, right? (eyeroll)

cue the dog puns as we get a look at the line-up for the dog show. a bird dog (as in, dogs who hunt birds) is taken to its literal meaning, perched in a cage and whistling like a bird. the next pen over is an irish setter (sitter, get it?) perched on top of a nest. mama crawls out of the nest to reveal a line of eggs. one by one, they all hatch to reveal a trio of energetic, yappy puppies. points for surrealism. 

next up, a disembodied voice cries “RAIN BLOW THROUGH THE MOUNTAIN!”, curtains withdrawing to reveal a police dog donning a mountie uniform, howling (its howls, of course, provided by mel blanc). this is a reference to the ever popular renfrew of the mounted, a ‘30′s book and radio series about a singing mountie--frank tashlin’s porky in the north woods even served as an ode to it. after that features a spitz hound, chewing on a glob of tobacco and lobbing it at a spitoon. amusing at first, this gag quickly wears its welcome as its featured in a number of other cartoons. spitting gags themselves were more along the lines of the earlier ‘30′s cartoons, right at home in the cruder days of the early harman and ising films.

 a st. bernard booze hound is next to be revealed, drunkenly singing a wordless rendition of “how dry i am”. billy bletcher’s deep bellow is a perfect match for such a big dog: the dog, rather pluto-esque as we’ll come to recognize, will return throughout the picture. the animation of it is rather nice--the physics on the floppy jowls are great. after a fit of hiccups, the dog giggles bashfully.

so, to counteract that high of the dog, our next pooch?

oh, sweet hilarity!

time to make room for more puns, this time plastered on the curtain. the curtain advertises groaners such as “come see our itchings -- canine art galleries”, “are you in the dog house? get a new leash on life supply co.”, and so forth. the spotlight takes its sweet time to roam around each pun, allowing it to really sink in. complete with close-ups! i’m watching the newly restored version on hbomax (which looks gorgeous, by the way), and so i don’t know if it’s the fault of the restoration or if the original print had this issue, but the close-ups are a bit blurry, as if they were having some problems with the double-exposure effects. 

with eye-rolling puns out of the way (and i say this as a shameless pun lover), the audience is treated to a variety of k-9 vaudeville acts, starting with a pair of scottie dogs, who perform the highland fling. personally, i like the camel’s version better in porky in egypt. the spacing of the animation isn’t well distributed here--the movement feels too mechanical. 

the scotties are replaced by a pair of russian wolf hounds, who look like sticks when viewed from the front--a common place gag. animation of the hounds doing the hopak fares better than the scotties, and the barks at the end of the musical phrases are at least passably amusing. as the performance wraps up, the ushankas worn by the hounds turn out to be little black dogs curled up in a ball--once more, a tried and true gag that calls back to the days of the harman and ising era. 

just when we think we’ve had enough groaners: the next act, titled “dog eat dog” features a... wait for it! a dog eating a hotdog. at least the ironic commentary by the sarcastic, pitchy, violin rendition of “where oh where has my little dog gone” alerts us to some self-awareness regarding how lame the gag is. thankfully, the next gag at least got a polite chuckle out of me: the act titled “little man you’ve had a busy day” (in reference to the popular song of the same name) showcases a dog panting and flashing a guilty smile, a line of poles in the backgrounds. two piss jokes in one short! that must be a record! 

what could be considered the song portion of the short follows next, a group of prarie dogs singing “my little buckaroo” with alternate, dog-inclusive lyrics (mentioning pedigrees and the like). the drunken st. bernard from before cringes at the act, howling and carrying on. a hand off-screen shoves a muzzle on him to shut him up (don’t tell PETA!), prompting the dog to force it free. 

instead, the dog accidentally ricochets himself into an open trunk (labeled johnson skating act, a reference to background artist johnny johnson, most commonly associated with tex avery). and, as to be expected, the dog emerges from the trunk slipping and sliding on a pair of roller skates. the animation of the dog on the roller skates is certainly the high point of the short--even the dog’s emergence just slides like butter. definitely worthy of a frame-by-frame watch. 

the prarie dogs finish up the remainder of their song (once more bitten by the double-exposure bug, still wondering if that’s the restoration or the original print?), just in time to allow a shanghaied skating pup to slide across the stage. more great animation of the dog struggling on his skates as he slides into the other wing, his struggle animated on ones (you’ll also note the sign in the background advertising a gross of anvils). he eventually topples over, the barrel on his chest keeping him going until he crashes into a wall. the few smear frames leads me to believe that this is ken harris at work, though i’m far from confident on that claim.

even more great animation as the dog, pluto-esque in his struggle and frustration, struggles to get back onto his feet, his drunken hiccups sending him falling each time. i love when he resorts to grabbing his ass by his teeth to lift himself up, giving a self-satisfied grin at the camera before falling right back down again. frustrated, the dog grovels in his humility, a welcome burst of comedic timing as he shoves the lower half of his body down in frustration, free to mope and ponder in peace. 

next up serves as a rather deliberate callback to one of friz’s most monumental pictures (in notoriety, not quite in quality)--his 1935 entry i haven’t got a hat, that most famously marks the debut of everyone’s (okay, MY) favorite porcine. a shy little puppy timidly pokes her head out from a cardboard standee, clearly in no rush to get out on stage. ken harris’ animation of her resisting the push of the disembodied arm is full of character: her facial expression creased with worry is relatively scribner-esque, another bonus. 

finally, she’s thrown out on stage... facing the wrong way. a whistle summons her to turn around, where she recites “mary had a little lamb”, her squeaky vocals provided by none other than berneice hansell. she starts off... and, in an avery-esque break of character, growls to stage left “awww... this is SILLY!” a book is thrown at her in response. 

in the midst of the puppy’s recital (which is cleverly underscored by “puppchen”), the drunken dog from before still engages in his battle to get up. once more, the animation is more than a treat to look at: the dog, fueled with fury, scrambles to his feet with a running start. the animation glides as effortlessly as the dog, but something off-screen catches his attention: a trunk containing a flea circus.

as you can surely guess, dog crashes, and the fleas miraculously fly (suspension of disbelief!) out of the trunk, ready to cause trouble. in another ode to i haven’t got a hat, where porky was the one mixing up two poems in a recital, the reciting puppy mixes up her nursery rhymes (”mary had a little lamb, the mouse ran up the clock. and anywhere the lamb would go, hickory dickory dock!”) while watching a flea buzz dangerously close to her vicinity, eyes rotating 360 degrees and all.

inevitably, the flea strikes, and the puppy gives a strained remainder of her recital, itching all the way. the main ode to i haven’t got a hat stems here--the puppy’s voice grows exceedingly higher in pitch, the animation of her pacing from side-to-side and eventually off stage directly reused fom the short. it should be noted that, in the original scene, another hansell-voiced animal (little kitty) was giving the same recital of mary had a little lamb. this scene has the benefit of better animation and a little bit more humor, but it’s an interesting callback to such an important cartoon.

fade out and back in to the remainder of the fleas, who are having a hell of a time sopping up the spilled alcohol from the st. bernard’s barrel. one flea fishes in the liquor, another swimming, one more even licking it up straight from the source. the short comes to an end on a quartet of drunken fleas, singing a shrill, obnoxious, hiccup-ridden rendition of “how dry i am”. iris out.

i will admit that, as i reviewed this, the cartoon slowly warmed up to me. i wasn’t at all charmed by the first half: the puns are rather lame, the timing is bloated and slow, and it lacks direction, even for a spot-gag cartoon. it feels overwhelmingly half-hearted: when a director or its crew lacks enthusiasm, that absence is certainly felt. yet, the second half of the short definitely thawed my otherwise cold review. the animation of the st. bernard on roller skates is some absolutely gorgeous stuff. it’s very smooth, very funny, and very tactile. moreover, the puppy’s recital of “mary had a little lamb” was very fun and amusing--berneice hansell never fails to win me over with her vocals. with that said, however, i wouldn’t really recommend this cartoon: there are too many other good friz cartoons to check out. it lacks enthusiasm and conviction, and feels more like a relic of the past, from the prevalence of billy bletcher and berneice hansell (who dominated the pre-blanc cartoons) to the harman and ising-esque gags to the deliberate callbacks to i haven’t got a hat. mainly, i would persuade you to check out the second half for the animation of the roller-skating dog, and maybe add the recital sequence as an extra incentive. but, for now, this is a largely unremarkable cartoon that you can skip without feeling too slighted.

yet, with that said: the short is available on hbomax if you have it, where i got the screenshots from! if not, you can check out a lower-quality version here. better than nothing! 

[vettelcore]

Well now that you mention it... What do you think of Charles Leclerc? Sorry, I couldn't resist it 🙃

I'm on my phone and super sleepy right now so my brain isn't working but jdhwbshs

- good driver but still needs to learn A LOT if he wants to be mildly successful in ferrari, or as successful as you can be in there lmfao i.e making up his own strategies

- cries too much on the radio and i know its fom choosing which radios they want to show, but still, too. fucking. much. last year when seb was beating him it was just unbearable honestly

- i dont trust him. i just don't. he looks like a untrustworthy douchebag. don't ask me to explain further, it's just the vibe i get lol

- you know those people you just /don't like/ but everyone else does and you can't explain it so it pisses you off seeing everyone so enamoured with them???? but then they do something shitty, people start noticing they're not the bby angel who can do no wrong they thought it was and you start feeling inexplicably happy about that??? yah lmfao.

- wears almost 60k € watches and probably believes the more expensive an outfit is, the better. that makes me automatically hate him on a personal level

[draceempressa]

The Golden Chain Has Rusted Since Long Ago (Part 1)

I’ve been talking about the Raihan is Rose’s son  theory , and by extension, Macro Cosmos Admin and he’s involved with the whole Eternatus thing fom the veery beginning, and how it affect his relatioship with Leon. And I can’t help but to write fic about it, and here it is . Raihan and Leon already have crush on each other but not yet dating.  Raihan have kinda screwed view  and daddy issues here, so that’s a warning. 

Cross-posted to Ao3

Raihan is obssessed with Leon, that’s what the news says, that’s what people think. But unknown to the mass, what he’s obsessed with isn’t specifically Leon himself, or the title of Champion of Galar.

It’s two  days before the Gym Challenge Opening, and as always, the  Dragon specialist trained relentlessly for a chance to beat the Champion of the region. In the middle of the training, his Rotom phone rang. It’s already 6 PM. Raihan decides to go  finish training that day, takes a bath, takes out some files from the deposit box , goes back to his home and dress himself in formal clothes, and putting on a blue tie pin with two hexagons. 

 The public knows him as the Gym Leader of Hammerlocke, Leon’s rival, but there is more to Raihan.In the taxi, he reviewed the data gathered from the sleeping dragon Eternatus, ensuring he didn' t miss any of them .The Corviknight cawed, and Raihan realized he had already reached his destination . The first who greeted him on top Rose Tower was Oleana, with hands reached as if demanding for something.The usual sight.  

 " Is that how you greeted the son of your boss? " Raihan chuckled as he stepped out of the taxi, handing to Oleana the files. The secretary hissed as she checked the files . 

 " Son of my boss . Not the boss himself." 

 As usual, Raihan is quick to handwave the situation. “Anyway, it’s the usual room?” 

 Oleana nods without turning her head. However, she noticed Raihan is still at his place and frowns. 

 ‘Why are you still here? Go meet the Chairman.”

 “I’m gonna do that, no biggie.” Raihan taps his shoes. “But don’t you think some numbers are off? Here and there….” Raihan pointed out some points on the papers, which Oleana shrugs it off.

“Even so, this is not your business, you know? Your job is to guard the plant and its secrets, not to analyze its contents. Go meet the Chairman already!” 

 “Whoa, scary, scary. All right, I’ll do that .” 

 The room where he usually meets Rose is at the highest level anyway, right below the rooftop, so he just casually takes the stairs instead. Raihan thought he’s the one who is late, but instead it’s Rose instead with the meetings. Raihan turned his head to the view of Wyndon from the highest level of Rose Tower. He’s used to be wait for him like  this. 

 The final Gym Leader waited for some time, and coupled with his exhaustion from the training, he started to doze off.Just then,  a familiar voice wakes him up. 

 “Rai, my boy! Did you waited  for long?” 

 Sobered up, Raihan shook his head. “No,Dad. I’m just tired from my training.” 

 “Is that so?” Rose tapped Raihan’s shoulder before sitting on the table. “Keep it up, okay? You might not be able to defeat Leon this year, but your strength is also crucial to the plan. I trust you can do it, son.You are my son, after all. You have trained hard all these years, after all.“ 

 You are weak that you never become the Champion  despite I already gave you 10 chances. I’m not going to use you against Eternatus despite I made you live for that. Consider yourself lucky for I didn’t throw you right away for you’re my son. At least I still give you a job in this plan, that is to guard the plant itself. You better not fucked that up unlike the champion title.

 “Yes, Dad.”  Raihan nods obediently. He feels he don’t have the right to rebuke because his father is right that he’s weak as he is always losing to Leon, while tightening his fist,pissed at his own weakness. 

 Gazing to the city beneath them after a while, Rose turned to Raihan again. “I also would like to ask you a favor.  Recently, I sponsored a boy to join the Gym Challenge. He has the potential, I’d like you to train him.” 

 Raihan scoffed in his mind. Huh, so Dad  has picked another toy. As if Oleana and me isn’t enough… Well, I will see if that boy can last. Dad has pretty high standard, after all. 

 “I’ll try to see what I can teach him.” Raihan try to show the most subservience in his tone. That dinner is mostly business talks, how far have Raihan progressed in his battle prowess, how is the progress of the Eternatus project, and so-so. Despite Raihan wished  it could be more of a father-son bonding time. 

 “Well then, it’s already this late. You should go back now, you should stay on top condition for the opening, right?”  Rose is about to leave, which Raihan reacts by trying to reach him.

 Dad, can you please, just once, please, tell me I already did my best even if I lost? That I’m still the best  for you because I’m your son? Please, dad, it’s so suffocating whenever Mrs. Melony says that to Gordie, I need to hear that from you even just once, please…

 But  before Raihan can say that,  Rose tapped his shoulder.

“Raihan, son, what did I taught you?” 

 Raihan realized he must have quite the pathetic face just now, which is why Rose called him out. He knows his mistake and he shivered. 

 “Always smile… It’s important to keep smiling in public, especially when you’re a public figure… Because most other expressions are symbol of weakness….” 

 “That’s my boy. Go get some rest, the opening is approaching.” 

 “Y-yes… Take care, Dad.” Raihan forced himself to smile and Rose smiled back and walks out of the room.. 

-----

In the taxi on his way back, Raihan glances to the city of Wyndon below once more, suddenly reminiscing his childhood when the first time Rose take him above the night skies. 

 “Daddy, the town at night is so pretty! Whoa…. “

 “Do you like it, Raihan? “

 “Yeah!”

 “Daddy works to protect this light. Will you help daddy doing it?”

 “Um!”

 A ring from his phone returns Raihan to reality. A text of “You got message!” is plastered on the possessed phone’s face.It’s from Leon. Raihan told Rotom to open it.

 Leon: Bro, it’s the opening soon. Can’t wait to see you, my greatest rival. Let’s  have fun again!

 “Rival, huh.” Raihan leans his cheek on his knuckles, the other hand slides on his phone. “I wonder if you are really just that to me…  That said, I don’t see my envy to you die anytime soon.And to you, battles are fun because nothing is at stake for you, but for me, the aftermath is too heavy to take…”

[human-trash-fire]

Beautiful Disaster: Ch. 4 (Pynch Soulmate-AU)

I realized I never posted Ch 4 for my Pynch AU! So here it is, for anyone interested, HERE is a link to my masterlist where you can find the first 3 chapters. (THIS WILL NOT MAKE SENSE WITHOUT READING THE OTHERS) I’m also on Ao3 as glam_reaper2 <3 

Anyways, this fic is the writing I’m most proud of, and I can’t wait to drop Ch 5 this week! 

TW: Adam’s Dad/ mentioning abuse, graphic depiction of violence, mention of suicide attempt.

Adam Parrish woke in the early hours on the third day after the alley. The pre-dawn glow streaming through the crack in his curtains cast shadows on the plants and books covering his shelves. Eyes heavy and throat raw, Adam took a deep breath. In through his nose, oxygen flooding his lungs, battling to release the weight that had long since laid claim on the space behind his ribs. He held it until he thought he might choke. Vision blurring, heartbeat hammering in his ears, a pulsing reminder that he was still here; then in a rush, he released. The momentary weightlessness was a small reprieve.

The tiny arm slung across his abdomen a reminder that, at least for now, he wasn’t alone. Blue had crawled into his bed the afternoon before and stayed with him through the long night. Adam moved her arm off and slid as carefully and quietly as he could from the bed, he didn’t wish to wake her. She needed sleep, the exhaustion evident on her face even now. 

He moved toward the window, reaching out to open his curtains, allowing the morning light to flood in. And there he stood, hand still holding the curtain, eyes trained on the horizon. He remained unmoved, watching the sun crawl from the earth bathing everything in its path in colors Adam had never seen. They were fresh, warm, soft. They stole his breath and for a moment, a lifetime, he stood frozen and allowed that hopeful warmth to settle in his bones. In awe of the majesty of nature, swallowed whole by the gift of color, broken by it. 

His breath stuttered.

The man in the alley would never see a sunrise, or a sunset. He had given Adam this gift and left mere hours before Adam could have reciprocated. His thoughts spiraled, fingers tightening on the curtain, eyes burning. The sunrise moved from photographic clarity to an impressionist painting, and salt kissed his lips.

“Adam…” Blue breathed from his side, reaching out and pulling aside the second curtain to allow a full view.

“It’s-” Adam choked on a whisper, “It’s magnificent, and he’ll never see.”

~~

Adam spent the rest of the week coping in the only way he knew how: throwing himself into his jobs and school work. Blue and Henry had closed ranks, showering him with their own personal versions of love. 

For Henry, it was distraction, mindless conversation, a steady companionship during hours in the library. Henry Cheng, though initially someone Adam never saw friendship potential in, was more than most gave him credit for. On the outside, he was loud. From his clothes to hair, he was unabashedly himself: caring, vibrant, loyal. Adam appreciated the effort, never pressured to talk about what was clearly tearing him apart. 

Blue was the opposite, in a very Blue way. She brought him coffees and hugs, asked him about his mood, and made highly unsubtle references to “healthy coping mechanisms.” She was kind but stern, pushing him towards what he knew logically was the next step. But this trauma was too big, too heady to file away in the closet in his mind marked “DANGER.”

It had been a little over a week since he watched his first true sunrise when Blue decided to take off the kid gloves.

“Look.” Her voice was as unwavering as her eye contact, sitting next to him on the chipped-white metal bench in the alley beside Nino’s Cafe where they took their break. Nino’s was his second job, and Blue’s “fun money/ free caffeine” job, covering the hours she wasn’t working on her photography portfolio.

Adam held her gaze, and his breath. Her tone brokered no room for argument, and he knew he had spent enough time avoiding answering anything truthfully… Her forcing a “talk” on him was inevitable. He nodded once to indicate he was listening, and waited for her to continue.

“I know you aren’t ready to talk, and that is completely fine. I won’t bullshit you and pretend I have any idea what kind of pain you’re in. No- no,” she held up a finger to cut off Adam’s rebuttal. “Don’t shake your head and feed me you’re ‘i’m fine’ because we both know you’re not. That being said you’re a grown ass man, who makes his own decisions and I respect that. But, Adam?”

He cocked his head to the side, and made a noncommittal grunt.

“You need to do something. You know I always advocate therapy, but -don’t scoff asshole- but, I’m also aware that it’s ‘not your thing’ so I had another idea. Here,” Blue thrust a bag towards Adam. It was a recycled paper shopping bag, rolled at the top and lighter than he expected.

“What’s this?” He asked.

“Open it.”

He unrolled the bag skeptically and peered inside. His right eyebrow hitched as he looked away from the bag’s contents and towards Blue. “The fuck?”

“Letters. That’s my idea. Something I never told you but, when my dad left I had all this rage and I had no one to direct it towards. My mom got me a pack of envelopes and blank paper and told me to try writing a letter to him. She told me I didn’t ever have to send what I wrote to him if I didn’t want too, and I didn’t. The act of venting everything in a direct way really helped me, it was more than a diary, or whatever, because these were shots at an intended target. I could be mad and then seal it in an envelope and the weight in my chest lifted a little. I thought maybe…” She motioned towards the bag with a crooked smile and a shrug.

“Letters…” Adam repeated. “To a dead guy?”

“Yes.”

“Blue, I don’t know.”

“Look, just take the damn bag. Do it, or don’t. I can’t and wont force you. But at least consider it.” Then she rose to her full height, the most intimidating 5 feet he had ever seen, giving him what could only be called a “mom look” and sauntered back inside.

~~

That night, weighted down by grief and half delirious with exhaustion, Adam opened the bag. He pulled out the box of white envelopes, cracked open the pack of college-rule paper, and grabbed a black pen from the cup at the right of his desk. This is so stupid, he thought as he put his pen to paper...

i. You, I never knew your name. You left before I ever had the chance to ask. I wish more than anything that I knew your name, at least then I’d be able to grieve a person instead of a stranger in an alley. You were… Exquisite. Even floating in a pool of your own life, you were beautiful. You were. Past tense. Gone. I dreamed of knowing you. The idea of you, in abstract my whole life. I didn’t know who you’d be, but, still I dreamed. It was my secret. The odds of finding your soulmate are so slim these days, and yet… In the quiet hours of the night, bone tired and barely standing at work, or when the hunger pains threatened to cripple me, I’d pull you out of the careful place in my mind, and dream. It’s dangerous to dream. I know better now. You fucking left me. How dare you? It’s probably a good thing you’ll never read these letters. Blue, my best friend, suggested I write them to help me “find closure.” That’s very Blue. She’s all about self-care and talking through feelings. Henry, my other friend, agrees with her. So here I am, attempting to vomit my heart on a page in hope of finding some semblance of peace. There is so much I wish I could have told you, and so much more that would have terrified me to admit. That’s one benefit to your never knowing me I suppose... Honestly, it was probably for the best that, in the end, you never had the chance to try knowing me. I’m a disaster. I’m unknowable. And that’s, fine. Ya know? I’m okay, I think. Holding onto that which sets me apart, and working my hardest to  fix everything else that’s in my power. That’s how I got here, Georgetown. I did it myself.  That’s something I would have told you, because it’s something I am proud of, though I’ll never say. I worked 3 jobs through highschool, made straight A’s, volunteered, and slaved away. I saved money in a shoebox under a loose vent in my trailer to buy books. My dad would have killed me, literally, if he’d ever found that. I was supposed to give them everything, but I hid that. I hid so much. I got really good at hiding in that place. Henrietta… What a fucking shit show. Anyways, I saved and pushed myself. I think I ate maybe once a day for those years, if I was lucky? I know I barely slept. But it was worth it the day the acceptance letter came in the mail. Georgetown. 3 hours away. A world away. A full ride. I was so fucking happy that day, I even allowed myself to dip into the shoebox to buy a coke fom the gas station by the autoshop I worked at. That was my life then, and still is now, to some extent. Small rewards, focus on the bigger picture. Work, work, work, and then one day have the power and money, the status, the ability to fight for people like me. I had barely put the box back when my dad, Robert, saw me holding my acceptance letter, and a $20. I wasn’t allowed to have money in my room, even if I made it myself. It was “for the family” he always said. “Do you want us to starve?” “you think you’re so fancy at your charter school don’t you?” always the same. Always cruel. So I’m standing there, money and letter in hand, smiling like an idiot when he comes in. I’ll never forget that day. I’d taken so many beatings from him by the time I was 17, it was second nature really. But this one? For some reason it surprised me. I thought for sure that he would be capable of some sense of joy. I got into college, for free. But Robert wasn’t like that. I could smell the beer on his breath. Keystone, always fucking Keystone. It smells like piss. It still makes me gag.  “What the fuck is that?” he asked. And I didn’t know how to respond. I remember stuttering. I was always stuttering, mumbling, hiding, lying. Anything to avoid the inevitable. “I asked you a question, boy.”  I panicked. “Its, uh, a letter, sir. An acceptance letter. From college. I-I got in.” Apparently it wasn’t the right response. I don’t remember much after that, I know he told me I had no right to hide money because I “owed him.” I always owed him. For breathing, for having the audacity to live. That night was the worst I can remember though. He wouldn’t stop. He was screaming about how I wasn’t allowed to just leave. I took more hits than usual, but I could have handled it. I’m no stranger to broken bones and bruises. But I was so scared this time. I knew, somehow I knew that this was it. If I didn’t get out he was going to kill me. Kill me because of a $20 and a full ride. I tried to run. I did.  I never made it very far though. He caught me, and the last thing I remember was a screaming pain in the left side of my head. I don’t know why I’m even writing all this, maybe Blue and Henry were right? I’ve never even told them all of this. I really doubt I would have told you this had I been given the chance. I would have stuck to the barest details: Deaf in left ear. Accident. Long time ago. I don’t talk to my parents.  Or maybe I wouldn’t have hid…Soulmates are a safe space right? Through whatever magic, or science, or God (if you believe in one of those, I don’t- hope you wouldn’t have cared) we are supposed to be able to share it all. A balance. A quiet place. A home. I wonder what you would have said if I told you? I hope it wouldn’t have been pitying. I don’t do pity. I’ll never know that though, which is maybe a relief? I don’t know. I hope you would have been proud though, that I did get out. Of what I’m doing with my life now. I haven’t even told “you” have I? I got a double Bachelors in Political Science and Conflict Resolution. I’m currently taking a Masters in Public Policy. I know, most people see “Georgetown” and “Politics” and think “Here’s another white guy with dreams of power.” But it’s not that. I’m going to change things, my thesis is on Domestic Violence: prevention and programs. I’m going to fight for the kids like me, in the homes like mine. I’m going to fight for every time I didn’t hit back. Every bruise and broken bone. I’m going to change the world for the Adam Parrish’s. I’m going to bring an end to the Roberts.  That’s what I’m doing now. I guess I’ll be okay without you. I’ve always been better at work than relationships anyway. If we’re being honest you probably would have hated me. I’m terrible with making time for anyone. I have goals though, I don’t have the luxery to fuck around. I’m not conducive to a partnership, and I’m not even sure I’d be capable of love.  I would have tried for you though.  Maybe you needed that. Maybe if you’d had it, love, you wouldn’t have ended up in the alley. I don’t know. I wish I could ask you why. I just… fuck. This letter is getting severely out of hand.  It doesn’t matter why you did it.  You did. And that’s that I suppose.  Forever a mystery, the man with the beautiful face and ice blue eyes. “I used to build dreams about you.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald, Benediction That’s all you are now. A dream.

He folded the pages in thirds, slipping them in an envelope, and sealing them away. On the outside he wrote the number one, then slid the envelope into a crack between one of his potted plants and a row of books on his window sill. Then Adam crawled into bed and finally slept; for once it was a dreamless- restorative sleep.

~~

Shattered heart hanging heavy in his chest, Adam looked up when the bell above the door to Nino’s chimed the arrival of a new patron. The young couple made their way towards the counter. The smaller man leaning lovingly into the side of his partner, while the taller man looked down lovingly, arm draped across the first’s shoulders. It was a quiet moment, something so personal and beautiful Adam looked down, he didn’t want to intrude. His hands were shaking, a bitter jealousy crashing like waves in a storm through his entire being. He took a steadying breath, trying to quell the rage, and uncapped the black marker, grabbing a cup to prepare to take their order. 

“Hi,” he bit out through his customer service smile. He looked up from the cup in hand, allowing a little of his Henrietta lilt to color his words into something close to friendly. “Welcome to Nino’s, what can I get started for you today?” 

“Hi! Can we please get a- Oh, wow!” The shorter man had stopped mid-sentence and leaned close to Adam across the counter. “Your eyes are so blue! Babe, have you ever seen eyes so beautiful?” Adam wanted to fucking snap. The larger man leaned in as well and hummed in approval.

“No I haven’t, sorry. I know this is probably so inappropriate,” he leaned back, tone placating. “We don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, this is just all new for us-”

Adam didn’t fucking care.

“-Anyways, can we please get two Americanos, and a a slice of apple pie with two forks?”

Of course, Adam nodded. He finished the order and made the drinks with shaking hands and a barely controlled rage burning him from within, blooming pink across his cheeks.

 He couldn’t breathe. 

When he returned home, he slammed his door and flew to his desk; practically tearing a lined sheet from the pile of supplies from Blue and began to write. Pen pressed so hard small tears formed in the paper as he purged…

ii.

You.

Fuck you for what you did. For what you did to yourself. What you did to that man in the alley. Screaming. Begging. Holding you together.

 For what you did to me. 

I hate you. 

I hate that I love you. The idea of you. Because you couldn’t even wait for me. I never got the chance to love the real you, and I loathe you for it.

You fucking left me alone.

All this goddamn color, all these beautiful things, and I’m still living in black and white. 

I’m drowning.

You were my hope. 

You were my end game. Sometimes, I fear you’ll be my end. 

I can’t get away from the idea of you.

I see your face every time I close my eyes.

You’re haunting me.

You’re ruining me.

Fuck you. 

I hate you.

Fuck, You.

You…

Why did you leave me all alone?

When he finished his breath was ragged, chest rising and falling in heavy swells. Angry tears drying splotches across the page before him, turning certain words into a blurry but still legible watercolor. He threw his pen across the room, shoved the letter into the envelope marked 2, and placed it alongside the first. 

~~

Adam spent the remaining days of September numb. He had taken to carrying a few sheets of paper and envelopes in his messenger bag in case he ever needed them. 

It was on one particular afternoon -two days before September ended- as he sat in Nino’s sipping coffee and staring blankly at the textbook in front of him, that he wrote his third letter. He felt untethered, unbalanced, the sky outside was such a pale blue that his mind began to wander. With a sigh, he pulled out a sheet of paper, and an envelope marking the outside with the number three. 

iii.

You,

I’m so lost…

I can’t fall asleep without seeing your eyes.

Unfocused.

Unblinking. 

Ice cold.

Fathomless.

Broken.

I wonder how they looked when you were happy… I hope you were happy, truly happy. At least once there before the end.

I bet they were beautiful.

Come back.

Please…

Adam stayed staring at that plea, that unanswered wish, until his coffee was cold. He wondered if this would ever end, he wasn’t unfamiliar with want. Adam had wanted more than anyone he had ever known. He was accustomed to the pain, the resentment that came with wanting that which you cannot have, but unlike all the other times this was wholly unattainable. No amount of extra shifts, A’s on homework, perfect test scores, hard-work would ever give him this particular want. 

He packed his bag slowly, tossing his coffee in the trash by the door and waving half-heartedly at his coworker behind the counter. The bell chimed his departure and he made his way out into the chilly September afternoon. The walk from Nino’s to his apartment was blessedly short. As he rounded the corner at the end of the block he was assaulted by the acrid smell of smoke.

Adam looked up, chill already forgotten, for the source and his eyes landed on a peculiar sight: A handsome man, in a nice crisp peacoat and cashmere scarf. Standing, hands clasped behind his neck, staring into the open maw of a smoking, Candy-Orange, ‘73 Camero.

“Hey!” he half shouted, making his way towards the gentleman, his greeting had clearly disturbed an emotional crisis. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you, did you maybe need some help?”

“Oh, hi. Yes, Hello. I’m, no thank you. I’m alright. I’ll give someone a call, The Pig is an auto-shop frequent flyer I’m afraid. Though, I’ve never seen it smoke quite so heavily.” The man half laughed, and shook his head.

“I don’t mind, I’m actually a mechanic down at Boyds. I can take a peak and see if I can do anything here if you’d like? Save you a trip.”

“Are you sure? I’d be more than happy to pay y-”

Adam shook his head fiercely, “No need. I’m Adam, by the way.” 

He held out his hand towards the man, who grasped his in kind. A vibrant smile lit his face, “Lovely to meet you Adam, I’m Gansey.”

[firelord-frowny]

Also on the off chance that anyone is curious at 3:30 AM about my romantic endeavor that imploded, 

basically I reconnected with my best high school friend who I’d had A Thing with, and we discovered we still had Hella Feelings for each other, except oopsies, he’d gotten married and had two kids. He told me all the usual stuff about how ~he should have tried harder to be with me~ and that getting married was a mistake, blah blah. I told him that that’s cool and all, but I’m 100% not interested in being a side chick or a mistress, so as much as I wish we could ride off into the sunset together, I’m not going to get involved with you while you’re married. 

Fast forward to the day after this conversation, he tells me that he told his wife everything and that the wife had also reconnected with an old love interest, and that they both mutually decided that they wanted to end their marriage. 

And then LIKE A DUMMY I was like oh okay, sweet. I’m looking forward to you being single so we can be together. Lemme know when you get all that divorce stuff taken care of.  I told him that until all the divorce stuff was done, I wouldn’t entertain a romantic or physical relationship with him. I told him that at the end of the day I could take him or leave him, and that I was going to be 100% content with my life regardless of whether or not we ended up together, and that that fact made it very easy for me to require that he be divorced before we talked about being together. I told him essentially, “I can and will be happy without you, so don’t make the mistake of thinking that I’m going to let you have your cake and eat it to. I’ll drop you like a hot potato before I ever pursue a relationship with a married man.” I told him that I absolutely was not going to sit around pining after him and begging him to leave his wife.

In the meanwhile, I kept hanging out with him from time to time. I let him visit me a total of three times, and all the while, he’s supposedly providing me updates on where he and the wife were in the divorce process. He tells me all this stuff about how he “needs to make sure his kids and their mom are okay and have a stable living situation before he can fully commit to me.” I’m like, sure bro, go ahead, I’m definitely not rushing you. Take as much time as you need to square away everything you need to square away, and then when you’re all done and your fam is settled and your divorce is final, we can talk about us. 

BUT LOLOLOLOL APPARENTLY MOST OR ALL OF WHAT HE TOLD ME WAS A LIIIIIEEEEE because about a week ago the wife sends me this mean-ass message (after first faking nice at me) telling me to more or less ~stay away from her man~ and basically she sounded NOTHING like a woman who was going through an amicable divorce and who had given her alleged soon-to-be-ex-husband her blessing to pursue other relationships as they begin separation. 

So I pretty much just told her, you know what, girl, you right! Thank you for reaching out to me because now I know that he wasn’t telling me the truth about what was what between the two of you, and I am 100% NOT in the business of being anybody’s mistress, so I will happily and eagerly fuck completely off and leave the two of you to work out whatever you’re going to work out. Neither of you will ever hear fom me again, so peace out. 

Then I messaged the guy with a copy/paste of what the wife had sent me, and basically told him that I was fucking pissed at him for not being truthful with me and putting me in the horrifyingly undignified position of having a woman jump down my throat and accuse me of trying to steal her husband. I told him I wasn’t heartbroken (which is true), but rather, that I was just embarrassed and felt betrayed. Then I blocked them both! 

The excellent news is that over the last handful of years I have cultivated enough positive growth inside myself that I genuinely feel no heartbreak whatsoever. Like, it’s an upsetting situation, yeah, and I definitely had begun to let myself look forward to a relationship with someone who I had loved so much and who had been so good to me when we were younger, but I’m also whole enough that I don’t feel like I have lost anything important. I didn’t gain what I wanted to gain, but I’m no less content with myself than I was before any of this shit happened. 

The only part that really hurt was the sense of betrayal - he wasn’t just some ain’t shit nigga I met a month ago. He was my single most cherished friend during what was absolutely the most painful 4 years of my life. Like. He was my fucking rock from 10th to 12th grade. He always did right by me and he showed me he loved me in exactly the right ways to make me feel loved. Like. He was special to me. And I hate that the one person who gave me any good memories from my teenage years turned around and embarrassed me like that and jeopardized my reputation. 

But even then, the betrayal I felt wasn’t even enough to shed a tear over lmao. Like, in comparison to when my ex-best friend Mike hurt me, this was NOTHING. Mike left me in tears for a month. Mike left me feeling gutted for years. I STILL mourn his absence in my life. I STILL feel my throat tighten with grief when I think about him. I STILL hope with all my heart that someday he and I can reconnect and be friendship soulmates again. 

But this guy??? Lol I did not shed a tear over him. And it wasn’t because I wasn’t upset at all. I was definitely upset. But I wasn’t ruined or distraught. It’s more like just... tempered disappointment. 

So there you have it! In retrospect I feel like an ABSOLUTE DUMMY because “my wife and I decided to split up and we’re both cool with each other seeing other people” is THE EXACT LIE that a cheater would tell if he wanted to cheat. So like. I’m stupid as shit for choosing to take his word for it lmao. But also, in all the years I’d known him, he’d never given me a reason not to trust him. So I thought believing him was a safe, reasonable thing to do. 

But I mean, men ain’t shit! So I shoulda known. *insert shrugging emoji here*

[friend-of-wizards]

im so pissed off i can no fuckin ype because a bunch of lees ae boken on my keyboad im ied of copy and pasin all he boken lees someone save me fom his nihmae

[imaginingandwrestling]

Baron Corbin - Break In (II)

Warnings: This is a series with three parts, you can read part one here; Reader is female; Mention of past abusive relashionships, reader ex will be part of this story, this is going to be full of agonizing moments, cursing, and can be trigger for some readers, be careful please! 

You can’t really sleep well tonight, even if you keep Baron smell close, this don’t calm you down, you had to lie to him last time you talked before you head to bed, and you’re feeling so guilty. But your body end up forcing you to close your eyes and get some rest, groaning a bit before you feel yourself going asleep. 

You woke up by the morning with breakfast smell, and at first you smiled widely, forgeting Baron is not home, often he’d wake up, make you two breakfast before gym. But when you open your eyes, you frown a bit at your phone flashing a brand new notification of him: Good Morning love, hope you sleep well, miss you! Can’t wait to see your pretty face again in three days, talk with you later! x 

And this makes your whole body shiver. You’re pretty sure this is not a familiar, your or Corbin’s. You quietly stood, grabbing the baseball bat Baron keep at his officer as you slowly went to check what is going on, almost screaming your lungs out when you noticed the man stood right there, none other than Y/E/N, he jumped a bit, turning to you like you’re crazy. 

“ WHAT IN THE HELL YOU’RE DOING HERE?! ” You’re pissed off and you have the right to be, keeping yourself in a attack position just in case he have funny intentions; He frown at you. 

“ Well, I know you don’t like surprises but you’re overeacting. “  He gestured to you put the bat down, sighing annoyed when you don’t move a finger. “ I’m just trying to make you something nice, to apologize from last time, you know? “

“ Get the hell out, now. “ You hissed at him at him, making him look at you without understand. “ You’re in my house, I don’t invited you and that trepassing, get. out. “ 

“ You can’t tell me out like this. “ He scoffed. “ You’re my woman, have some respect. “ You actually thought in beat the crap out of him right there, but you really don’t want get your hands bloody with him. He don’t deserve this, it’s easier way to go for a piece of crap like him. 

“ That’s it, I’m calling the cops. “ You said, grabbing the phone next to you, and he quickly try to reach your arm, probably going to shove it away fom the phone but you pointed the bat at him, making him stop. “ And you don’t dare to move, creep. “ 

“ That’s fucking rude, Y/N. “ He mumbled, a bit pissed off. “ I know you’re angry because I hit you, but it was not my fault, it’s your own! You’re going to leave me, I need to stop you, show you that only me can take care of you. “ 

You huffed, not even going to reply at that as you thanked when they got the phone. “ Hey, it’s Y/N, yeah, yeah this Y/R/N, but huh, can you come over? There is someone in my house. “ You make sure to be looking on his eyes as you speak, seeing his fear as he keep trying to find a way around it. But you’re not going to let this pass.

When the cops come over, they firstly looks more worried in know how are you doing before get away from the rings, than actually with this jerk stood in your kitchen. 

“ So, what are you doing in Miss and Mister Corbin home? “ One of they finally asked, making he perks up, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“ Check your info, officer, this is Y/N L/N home. “ He pointed at you, making the cops scoff a bit. 

“ No, you check yours buddy, also, you should double chek that in the restraining order it makes clear you’re going jail if you get closer her or her husband. “ The other one stopped talking with you, staring at him as he nod. 

And even if you want to laugh at his priceless surprise face, you’re too scared for this, because surprise soon turns in anger, and he’s looking at you really angrily right now. 

“ No! She’s not marriage with anyone, she’s mine. “ He commented, trying to get away when the officer reach to cuff him, looking at you. “ Tell them, bitch! Now! “ 

The cop quickly grabbed and shoved him against the kitchen counter, pressing his face against the cool surfice when he cuff his hands. 

“ Show some respect. “ He hissed, looking at you to make sure you’re fine, you quietly nod. ” No wonder why you get a order, what a jerk. “ He completed and his partner nodded, as they start to walk your ex to they car. 

“ We’re sorry for the trouble, Miss Corbin, we’re getting him where he belongs, stay safe, ok?. “ The other one comes up to you, offering his hand and you give it a thankfull shake, smiling a bit. “ Call us if you notice anything ok? I suggest you don’t  come up in telling him about the baby, trying to stay calm in the whole situation. “ 

“ You can be sure I will, thanks again. “ You told him, sounding tired, and you are, your ex looks like a emotional drain, a freaking vampire, getting allways all your wish to do things. You watched as the cops get back in the car, but the look on his face makes you nervous, he’s staring at you in a almost insane way. 

You don’t have any good feeling about this. 

You avoided speaking about this with Baron once again, and you know you should not, but you can’t talk about this right now, with anyone. You pretend everything was fine, trying to stay calm so your baby will not be hurt by all is happening. It’s over, you keep telling yourself. But Baron had noticed something was off already, you sounds way to tired in the calls, you’re avoiding facetime with him, making some silly excuse.

“ It’s over. “ You muttured to yourself, sitting in the bed waiting for the time Baron is getting out the ring to call you, your eyes are closed and you’re not really paying much attention before something cold touch the back of your neck, the metal send shivers all around your body as your eyes dart open, but you don’t move, looking by the corner of your eyes, already knowing who this is. “ Y/E/N, please... “ 

“ Please?! “ He snarled, laughing like a freak, because you can’t say he’s a lunatic, Ambrose is and he’s many, many ways better than this asshole. “ You fucking cheated on me! “ He shoved the gun a bit more, making your body learn foward so it won’t hurt. “ You fucking bitch! “ And he actually hit your back, making you groan in pain and hug yourself in the same second, trying to protect your baby. 

He grabbed you by the hair,  forcing you to look up at him. “ I don’t want to hurt you, “ He started, his fingers running over your cheek, holding the gun with the same one. “ but you are the one to blame, now I need to hurt you so you can learn you’re mine! “ 

You keep your mouth shut, you know talking will anger him even more. He’s about to slap you when your phone rang, and you shivered when his eyes went to screen, hand dropping at the side of his body as he laughed, he fucking laughed. 

“ Wolfy? “ He mocks, picking it up, you shake your head, quietly whispering to him no. “ Don’t worry, love, I’m going to have a talk with this bastard that thinks that can take you away from me. “ And he actually pressed to allow the call, Baron face went to happy to confused in a second. 

“ Who the fuck are you? “ He growled, but he sounds worried. 

“ Ah, another star. “ He mused, looking down at you, and showing your face. “ I see, my bitch needed a play thing while her man was away. “ 

“ Get away from her, now. “ Baron sounds pissed now. But your ex just laughed, grabbing you by the hair as he learn down and put the phone in front of you two, making you look at it, you looked at Baron asking for help, for anything at all, but you know he can’t do anything to stop your ex, not from so far away. 

“ Away? No, you get away. “ Y/E/N told your husband. “ She belongs to me, always had, I never allow her to leave me. “ He smirked. “ Come on, slut, tell him. “ 

“ Fuck you. “ You hissed quietly, turning to face the man that just grip even harder  at your hair, pulling it rougher as you whimpered. 

“ That’s not how you speak with me, bitch. “ he pointed to the gun in his hand, the same one he held your phone. “ Now let’s try aga--- “ 

You shoved your head against his, making in groan in pain as you hit his nose, of course this also makes you dizzy but you’re out his grip. You quickly stood and run out the room you need to hide, and call the cops, now. 

Your phone rest on the ground, Baron was calling your name, pure despair on his tone when your ex groan and hold his nose, it’s fucking bleeding. He looked at the phone, getting rather pissed with Baron voice at the point. 

“ Say goodbye. “ He growled, before shoot the phone.

Baron stood in the same seconds, running to get his bag done, this of course, makes everyone backstage looks at him as soon he got there. 

“ Hey, everything ok? “ Jinder asked him, but he quickly shake his head as he just looks freaked out, AJ grabbed his shoulder to keep him still, the big guy looks like he’s about to faint. 

“ Easy now. “ He sits Baron down. but he try to stood once again. “ Baron, calm down! “

“ I can’t! “ He snapped out. “ He have my Y/N! ” He said, making everyone stop what they are doing. 

“ What? “ Jimmy asked, as he and Jey are just walking inside the lockeroom. 

“ He-- He have her! And our children, fuck I need to go there, now! “ He try to get ride of AJ, but the man is strong as fuck, he then growl. “ Get your hands of me, Styles! “ 

“ Who’s he, Corbin? “ Jinder said, helping to hold him down. And Baron actually whimper as he just want to go and make sure you’re fine. 

“ Her fucked up crazy ass ex! “ That actually make Jinder and AJ let him go, because they know the story, they remember see her hurt before she actually started to date Baron. “ He got her, he have a fucking gun! “ he snarled as he goes back to gather his things. 

“ We’ll go with you. “ Mojo told him, making him shake his head. “ It’s not a choice bro, you’ll fucking kill the guy. “ 

“ I will. “ Baron told they, as he means it. “ I promised her that I would leave it asides as long he never show up again. Now he fucking have her, and my fucking children! “

“ Call the cops, let they hande it, it’s almost one hour driving if we got empty road. “ Jinder told him as he know they are all going get so much scolded later, but right now, they actually have to help the not so lone wolf.  

“ I can’t wait for those fuckers. “ Baron told him as he finish getting on his shoes. “ We need to fucking go “  

The other superstars looked at him worried, but Jinder and Mojo actually pick up they stuff and went along, after they tell everyone it’s better they go. 

Baron growls, just like an angry wolf when whe walks, shoving everyone asides on his way, even the staff that was going to talk back but when they see his face, they simply shut up. 

He’s hurting his family, his fucking pack. 

And no one messes with his pack. 

Personal Note: This are getting... Interesting... 

Tags: @lost-in-the-stories, @thirstiswet, @pookiepookie8,  @lilred91, @blondekel77;

[myaekingheart]

69. How a Shinobi Should Die

I put my head down, keep running away from it Anywhere I'm going can't be worse than this I need to get away before it pulls me in I'm never, ever getting close to anyone again -Right Left Wrong, Three Days Grace

               Kakashi had grown distant. Quite frankly, he hated himself. Everyone in the village called him a friend-killer. He stood at the sink, washing his hands obsessively, but all he saw was red. It won’t wash off…it won’t wash off…

               His mind was trapped in a dark haze with Rin always bleeding through the fog. Why did he have to kill her? Why did it have to end this way? All she ever did was love him, and now she’s gone. He strolled the streets by himself, avoiding the calls of friends eating dango and urging him to join them. He didn’t have the time for that now. It all seemed so pointless. He couldn’t afford to put more work into things. He lacked the strength. He lacked the energy. If he got too close, he would just lose all of them, too. That was the way the world worked. He was a cancer. One touch and you’re gone.

               His heart surged at the sight of Kaminoki. He didn’t think he could stand to step inside, but his legs worked on their own accord and soon he found himself standing in front of a rack of new releases. A rather dark cover captured his attention, depicting a ninja headband on the ground in the rain. The title scrawled on the front read “How a Shinobi Should Die.” He glanced up and caught Yuruganai staring him down from the checkout counter. Kakashi supposed selling a book like this wasn’t completely out of character for him. He slowly picked up the novel and flipped to the back, skimming the summary, when a sudden ringing in his ears shook his concentration. He looked up subconsciously and then he saw her. Short crop of brown hair. Kind eyes. Rin.

               He almost rushed toward her, wrapped his arms around her, held her close and yearned to hear her laugh. He tried but he couldn’t move. And then she was gone and he fell back down to earth. Of course it wasn’t her. Rin was dead.

               Kakashi tucked the book under his arm and ducked into the shop, getting his money prepared prematurely. When he looked up, he expected to find Yuruganai’s familiar scowl but instead was met with the nervous face of his childhood best friend. His heart leapt into his throat and he couldn’t bring himself to say anything to her. Appearing cold and distant was far better than giving her any hope of them reuniting. He couldn’t handle the thought. He slid the book across the counter, trying not to think about how her cheeks burned and how obviously she was fighting to remain composed. As she rang up his purchase, she jotted down the title on a spreadsheet and frowned.

               “Dark taste” she commented, sliding the book back toward him. Kakashi shrugged and put the money on the table. A lump rose in her throat as she watched him walk away, desperate to call out to him but by the time she mustered the strength, he was already gone.

               That night at dinner, Rei barely said a word. All she could think about was Kakashi. Granted, he seemed to be all she ever thought about. But this time was different. She couldn’t shake that encounter earlier in the day. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the gloomy cover of that book. How a Shinobi Should Die. She raised her gaze slowly to her father, his lips pursed as he finished financial paperwork at the table. She chewed the inside of her cheek and dropped her gaze to the floor.

               “How were sales today?” Hana asked, taking a bite of her dinner.

               Yuruganai didn’t even look up from his work as he replied. “We’re down 4% from last week” he grumbled, sliding his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “And that good-for-nothing kid stopped by again.”

               “You mean Kakashi?” Hana asked. Rei’s blood boiled. “The poor boy” Hana cooed, shaking her head. “He’s been having a rough go at it lately, hasn’t he? Did he buy anything?”

               Yuruganai turned his attention to the sales spreadsheet for the day, skimming down the column of names before getting to Hatake, K. “Yeah, one book. How a Shinobi Should Die” he scoffed. Didn’t he think it was a little insensitive to be selling a book like that? Especially in a village made up primarily of shinobi. It almost seemed like hate propaganda.

               Grandma Teiko sighed form the other end of the table. “That’s concerning” she said.

               Rei’s heart pounded. “Yeah, I mean, don’t you think we have a responsibility to stop people from buying something if we think it’s going to cause them more harm than good?” she chimed in. “We shouldn’t have let him buy that book. We should’ve said something.” To at least the old woman, it was evidently clear that she was projecting. The regret she felt was astronomical.

               Yuruganai rolled his eyes. “You kids these days are always trying to be everyone’s hero” he remarked. “It’s not our job to regulate what people read. Kakashi, just like anyone else in this village, is free to make his own decisions. If he wants to kill himself, then—”

               “Yuri!” Hana exclaimed, her eyes wide. She buried her face in her hands and shook her head. Her husband remained completely unfazed.

               Rei, meanwhile, was beginning to lose her grip. That was her worst fear: Kakashi killing himself. She refused to let him follow the same path as his father, powerless to stop him. She sucked in a deep breath, tightening her grip on her chopsticks, then somehow started to laugh.

               “What the hell is so funny?” Yuruganai asked her, fire blazing in her eyes.

               Rei suppressed her laughter and shook her head in disbelief. “I just think it’s funny how you say it’s not our job to regulate what people read” she said quietly, powerfully, “yet you refuse to sell erotica in the store.”

               Now Yuruganai was really getting pissed. His face turned bright red as he scowled at his daughter, nearly snapping his pen in half. “That is no way to speak at the dinner table!” he insisted. “You’ve lost your privileges. Go to your room so I don’t have to see your face for the rest of the night.”

               “Fine” Rei spat, rising fom the table. “I wasn’t hungry anyway.” She turned on her heels and stomped off, the slam of her door echoing down the hall. Hana sighed and took a long swing of her drink, defeated.

               Rei ran and flopped into bed face-down, burying her face in her pillow and clutching the sheets. She gazed out across the yard to Kakashi’s house, so close and yet so distant. She feared for him, really. He had already been through so much. She hated the way her father spoke of him, as if he lacked all empathy. This was his best friend’s son. To wish death upon him was unfair and disrespectful. She refused to consider his kill count. Every night when she tried to sleep, all Rei saw was Rin’s death—or the ideation of it, at least. It haunted her. She was arguably obsessed. Much like Sakumo, Yuruganai seemed to believe it was better to sacrifice a mission to save your comrades than the other way around, like he believed Kakashi to have done. And yet even then, there was still the everpresent threat of the Copy Ninja following in his father’s footsteps. The shinobi world is so messed up, she thought to herself. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

               She wanted to believe that he hadn’t killed Rin on purpose but truthfully, Rei wasn’t so sure herself. There were a lot of things she wasn’t entirely sure of. She hated to think about the details of Rin and Kakashi’s relationship before her death. The rumors of an adolescent romance made Rei nauseous. Kakashi belonged to her, no one else. A part of her wished she could summon Rin back from the afterlife, or call upon her ghost, just to get answers she knew Kakashi would never give her. As she thought about this, however, a rising feeling suddenly overwhelmed her chest and she came to a sudden, stark realization. There was at least one thing she could do.

               It was nightfall by the time she snuck out, slipping a jacket over her shoulders to guard against the slight chill in the air. The cemetery was vast and the graves all looked the same but she scrambled manically down every aisle before finally coming across Rin’s. Her knees gave out the minute she found it, a token of validation that she was really gone. Her fingers grazed her name etched into the cement, imagining her decomposing body in the ground beneath her. Then, in a fit of sudden rage, she pounded the ground and screamed.

               “You stupid…! What do you want from me?!” Rei shrieked, her voice cracking. “Do you enjoy seeing me suffer? Huh? Why are you doing this to me?!” She hated that deep down, she knew she was really only doing this to herself. She collapsed and let herself break down, little blades of grass and dirt particles sticking to her soggy cheeks. She dug her nails into the dirt and wailed, feeling pathetic all the while. “I did this to you…” she then whispered. “It’s all my fault…I wanted you gone so badly…and now you’re dead, and there’s nothing I can do about it. God, I’m so disgusting! I can’t even look at myself! I should’ve died instead…it should’ve been me…god, it should’ve been me!”

               At the cemetery gates, a familiar figure stood perfectly still watching the whole interaction unfold. He knew he should’ve felt something but for the most part, he was entirely numb. He did, however, take pity on this girl. He watched her break down with mismatched eyes, wondering what she did and did not know about the girl she was lamenting. Really, though, she had no reason to be crying like this. She played no real part in Rin’s death, despite what she might think. Heaving a sigh, Kakashi released his grip on the flowers he had brought, turned around, and walked back home. He would visit Rin and Obito another day.