#FOR THERE ARE OUTO CATS IN THERE

[completeoveranalysis]

[11]

Oh now THIS is gorgeous

Kurogane alone in darkness, framed in trappings of his own room in the world he fought so hard to return too, moon shining brightly overhead, and all he can do is sit awake and think about Sakura in Acid Tokyo specifically. Just incredible all around.

OOOH IT GETS BETTER

The memories split into shards of glass, like they’ve done quite a few times throughout the series. Kurogane remembers a lot of her earlier moments, like Piffle, and Outo, and Jade. But then the lower the page gets the more we transition into Fai doing the same thing, but standing alone above the water, looking down at it in silence. We can see the moon reflected back at him, and we can also see his own reflection looking back. And GOD what a gut punch that could be on its own - a mirror of himself, just like the twin he’s finally put to rest, just like the Sakura he fought so hard to save but failed. And we can see the memories he recalls too - but he’s thinking of times further into their journey, specifically Acid Tokyo and Infinity, and the moments he shared with her where they were their closest. Sakura’s determination, Fai swearing his loyalty to her, and Sakura’s final words of comfort to him as she died the first time due to his curse.

Eventually he DOES look up at the sky - perhaps done dwelling on the moments that hurt him the most, or perhaps galvanised in his own determination to save her even more than before. 

Meanwhile the shards of memory all turn to ones between Sakura and Syaoran, which makes me think Lava Lamp must be on the next page - even though, like, these moments weren’t specifically with HIM in them, I suppose he did second hand live them all the same. Outo and Hanshin and Piffle - oh and Infinity! That one WAS him. 

Lava Lamp’s head must be a mess after all this. 

OOP YEAH THERE HE IS, ALONE ON THE ROOF. WITH HIS BACK TO THE MOON ENTIRELY. And this page is entirely memories of moments between Sakura and Syaoran (Outo, Koryo, Hanshin, Jade, Shara, etc) - specifically not Lava Lamp, though he definitely appears to have felt the moments in the same way. Even though THIS Sakura has turned him down, and left him for the other Sakura. The other Sakura who, specifically, lived through NONE of these moments, and won’t remember any of them at all, and he knows this now, so he must be thinking uniquely of Clone Sakura in this moment. 

Clone Sakura who quite deliberately is not Real Sakura, but based on these memories I’d LOVE to untangle Lava Lamp’s thoughts about who he has feelings for, and how much of them are based on something they didn’t do and moments neither of them shared.

See also: Evil Wolverine is now also claiming that Real Sakura was accidentally incinerated in chapter 1 and doesn't even exist anymore BUT SURELY NOT, RIGHT??? SURELY SOMEONE WOULD HAVE HAD A VISION OF THAT????????

I'm conflicted so I'm pretending he didn't say anything

OOP AND THEN WE CIRCLE ALL THE WAY BACK TO CLOW, AND THE BEGINNING OF THEIR STORY - OR

SPECIFICALLY

REAL SAKURA’S MOMENTS WITH CLONE SYAORAN, WHILE REAL SYAORAN WATCHED, WHICH CLONE SAKURA DOESN’T REMEMBER, AND MAY NEVER REMEMBER, AND MAY OR MAY NOT BE SOUL DEAD, AND REAL SAKURA MAY OR MAY NOT BE DOUBLE DEAD, BUT....?

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: COMPLICATED

[shiiko529]

(why are there so many fais??)

[jeannereames]

Do you think alexander considered hephaistion his alter-ego?

"He, too, is Alexander"

Did Alexander think of Hephaistion as his alter-ego? Quite possibly—but not by that term. For one thing, “alter-ego” is Latin, and we find it first used in writing by Cicero, although it may have been (quite possibly was) in common parlance prior.

The concept did appear to exist in Greek, but the tendency to apply it to Alexander and Hephaistion owes chiefly to two attestations. The first is the recorded meeting between Alexander, Hephaistion, and Sisygambus, wherein he supposedly said, of Hephaistion, "He, too, is Alexander." The other concerns a quip attributed to Aristotle, mentioned in Diogenes Laertus that friendship is one soul in two bodies—but this not found Aristotle's surviving works, despite a longish passage on friendship in his Nikomachian Ethics.

Without being unduly cynical, we must always take exact phrasing with a grain of salt. I think there's very little we can be certain Alexander said. Same problem with Aristotle, unless you're reading his actual writings, and even some of those are dubious, such as the infamous Ath Pol, or Constitution of the Athenians. We typically distinguish these as “pseudo-Aristotle.” (So if you see “pseudo-”some-name, that means the work is attributed to that person but almost certainly not actually written by him/her.)

So, as part of my usual ‘Let me ‘splain you why you can’t trust that story/saying…,’ let’s play some dating games here.

First, Cicero is our initial attested use of “alter ego,” in a letter to his friend Atticus, that dates the phrase to somewhere between 68-44, or middle of the first century BCE. Maybe we can push it back a little earlier to the early first century, but I’d be uncomfortable pushing it further without solid evidence. Popular terms change. Anybody call a fashionable (male) person, “That cool cat…” these days—except as a bit of a joke? I didn’t think so. 😉 But “cool” itself is otherwise still in common use. So we have to be careful about when terms are popular.

Now, the story of Alexander before Sysigamgus is best known from Curtius (3.12.16-17), but Diodoros also relates it (17.37.5-6), and so does Arrian (2.12.3-8)—although with a caveat. He says it doesn’t appear in his trusted sources (Aristoboulos or Ptolemy) but he tells it anyway, apparently because he approves of the actions in it.

We don’t know where it comes from. Maybe Kleitarchos? Possibly Kallisthenes? It does not appear in either Plutarch’s bio of Alexander or his Moralia, although normally he loved these sorts of anecdotes. There’s a good reason, however, that Plutarch doesn’t tell it (see below). Justin is just too short. (It also appears in abbreviated form in a couple of later Roman sources, Valerius Maximus and Dio Chrysostom. So it was clearly popular in the rhetorician crowd.)

So, what are the words attributed to Alexander? Diodoros’ Greek is kai gar kai outos Alexandros estin: “and for also this [man] Alexander is” (6). Arrian renders it kai gar ekeinon einai Alexandron: “and for that man is Alexander” (7). Curtius puts it, albeit in Latin, nam et hic Alexander est: “for he also Alexander is” (17). Yes, I rendered those into English pretty exactly, even if it sounds a bit funny. First, it helps show how every translation is an interpretation, but also allows us to watch the parsing itself.

None of them is exactly the same, even if the meaning is the same. That’s a good reminder we don’t have his exact phrasing!

Assuming the event even happened.

Why should we doubt it? Aside from Arrian’s skepticism?

This story feels a LOT like a classic lesson in proper clemency. I’ve talked about the importance of clemency before. The bulk of this tale is meant to show a chivalrous Alexander early in his career, before he fell victim to divine aspirations and the lure of that nasty Oriental Luxury <tm>. See what a good guy he was?! Plutarch, in his take, insists not only did Alexander not rape the royal women, he wouldn’t even look at the women. That’s probably why he doesn’t tell this story, because going to their tent absolutely IS looking at them, donchaknow. It’s even funnier because it’s Plutarch who tells us Statiera died in childbirth well, well after that baby could have been Darius’s. (Consistency? What consistency? Pfff.)

My point here is that the story may very well have been fabricated to make a MORAL point of how to be an honorable victor—whether in the era of the Successors (which grew increasingly bloody and vicious), or in the later Roman period. It would also provide a perfect example for Curtius to contrast with Alexander’s later Asian debauchery.

You may be wondering, But why would they make up an entire story like that? Wouldn’t people know?

Um, to prove my point I give you…Twitter, QAnon, and whatever quote is being attributed (wrongly) to Samuel L. Jackson this week. The more often people hear something, even a lie, the more likely they are to believe it’s true. Arrian’s other stories of after-Issos events has Leonnatos going to talk to the women, not Alexander (and Hephaistion). Of course, it’s entirely possible Leonnatos went the first evening, while Alexander and Hephaistion went the next morning. It even makes a certain amount of sense that he’d visit the royal women. So, the bare-bones of the encounter may be true, but mistaken identities and all those speeches were likely put in people’s mouths later.

Incidentally, there’s a pun in the line, as alex-andros translates to “protector of men.” So Hephaistion is also a protector of men. Romans and Greeks ate up that sort of word-play.

As for the Aristotle titbit…Diogenes Laertus reports a list of “sayings” (aphorisms) attributed to various philosophers. For Aristotle, one is: “To the query, ‘What is a friend?’ his reply was, ‘A single soul dwelling in two bodies’” (5.20). I’ve seen people claim he was referencing Alexander and Hephaistion. There’s absolutely no reason to assume that except romanticism and an Alexander-centric view. In our surviving writings by Aristotle, he barely mentions Alexander.* Shock, I know. 😂 But Alexander wasn’t at the forefront of his mind.

Additionally, as I said above, we have a longish bit on friendship in the Nikomachian Ethics, where that definition doesn’t appear, although nothing he says about true friendship in it contradicts the quote, either. But “Sayings of…” were a popular form of literature in antiquity, and sometimes a clever quip got attributed to more than one person! Maybe Aristotle did say that, but it’s not in actual writings about friendship by Aristotle. Aristotle’s writings on friendship are rather more complex; he lists three types of friendship in Book VIII.

Anyway, this little in-depth study is meant to help folks see how complicated it can be, to get back to what ALEXANDER himself said, thought, or even did.

Yet one thing ALL the sources agree upon: Hephaistion was Alexander’s favorite, not just (or even primarily) as a commander, but as a person. I’ve never read any claim to the contrary, and I have (quite literally) read everything in the ancient sources that concerns Hephaistion (and most everything that concerns Alexander too).

So, while it’s impossible to say that Alexander considered Hephaistion an “alter-ego,” or ever called him “Alexander too,” you can rest assured that every ancient source agrees that Hephaistion was dearer to Alexander than anybody else, maybe even including his own mother.

—————-

* 391a2: his “On the Universe” treatise opens with a reference to “Alexander,” who I think it’s safe to assume is the king. And 1420a5, is “Rhetoric to Alexander”--except that treatise is widely understood (even in the medieval world) to be bogus: e.g., a "pseudo-Aristotle" text. Plus Alexander is mentioned in a couple fragments.

[marcys-garbage-bunker00]

Commissions Open!!!

Hello everyone, my name's Marcy!

I am an Uruguayan, bisexual and non-binary artist!

I am finally having the time to open commissions to work on art!

Her'es how pricing will work...

Currency are on dollars! Please make sure to adjust your amount to it when paying, though if you want we can discuss a different price for special reasons!

headshot/Profile will be 10

Half-body wil be a 15

Full body are 20

Then, i'll add some price depending on the level of detail, to make it simple, i put it like this

Line art/Black and White don't have any extra

Colored will be just +2 dollars to the price!

Shaded will be an extra +2 too! Technically you can do shaded without colored but.. yeah, that'd be a bit weird lmao

And lastly, background, and it'll depend on how complex, really. If it's a single color, gradiant or otherwise very simple shapes and colors, i won't add extra, but! If it's something more complex, like a scenario or such, i might then consider addign an extra +5 dollars, but we can discuss it!

There's also two special ones separate from this "system", "Scenes", that is, a piece depicting an event, sene or otherwise dynamic thing with characters doing actions, like escaping from an explosion, floating in space or whatever, i think you get a good idea! Because those i ocnsider very complex and time consuming, i'll price them at 50, which is, to me, the fair amiount for the amount of time and specially effort that needs to go for these!

The other are Reference Sheets, usually for characters but can be for other things! These tend to be a bit simpler, because it's just the character or object, the color pallette, name, creator and maybe some info, usually a simple background too, so i'll price them at 30!

There's also technically a third, which i'll call "Meme comms", essentially, these are just 21 dollars, they are basically art done to reference a specific meme, base or such that i'm asked, so it's not "serious" art, more so done for funsies, like, say, being commissioned by someone to draw a picture of their cat OC over one of the many crying cat pics floating about! Why 21? Well it's just a funny number!

This, to clarify, means if you pay for a reference for example, you'll pay just 30 regardless if it's shaded, colored, with a complex background, etc.!

As for how procedure goes, i'll keep you updated, we'll talk on DMs, i will NOT accpet payment UNTIL the piece is ready, in which case, you will pay, and then i'll send you the file once the payment arrives. This is to avoid having the rug pulled under me, and also because, if either party wants to cancel for whatever reason, there'll be a lot of time to cancel. Note, if you cancel when the piece is basically finished, i likely won't give you the file, because then i'd just be giving it to you for free which... is shady, and not cool

I won't draw NSFW, mainly outo f lack of skill really, though i can draw suggestive! I won't draw gore, or well, organ-related gore and such, i can do blood, spooky and body horror of other kinds! I will also decline a piece if i feel it encourages ideals i don't agree with, or if you yourself have conflicting ideals with mine, and i hold all the rights to cancel for whatever reason, as would you too.

I'll have 5 slots open across my social media, and i'll post an update post once the five slots are taken! If i can, i'll also have it on my profiles, so you all will be well informed!

[hoshinochikara]

undefined

🌸 Cat’s Eye Cafe, Outo 🌸

[noa-ciharu]

FAI MY BELOVED!

Blonde twink vampire wizard from faraway snow country with mental hospital worth of trauma and blue eyes <3

Sexuality headcanon:

Bi probably. He's basically married to Kurogane but during his past I'm somehow inclined to think Fai had interest in people regarding of their gender

Gender headcanon:

Maybe genderfluid? Probably cis male but with lack of reluctance to act feminine or even dress feminine (ahem, Horitsuba) he sure got me wondering

OTP:

Kurofai ofc. Is there any other serious ship for Fai anyways? It was my first clamp ship <3 they're actually very easy to miss if reader isn't careful enough and doesn't know to Clamp's usual romantic tropes. Very subtle and mature paring

BROPT:

Ofc trc main gang <3 found family goals

Fai just how long are you??? Total noodle

NOTP:

I've seen some people ship him with Chii, probably based on heteronormativity and Bee Train's genius fillers. Little do they know Bee Train included accidental incest. Plus I sort of have hard time picturing Fai and Chii with anyone beside Kurogane and Hideki...

Random headcanon:

I'm sure he drinks to cope, there's no other. Plus remember how in Outo Fai presented himself as big kitty? Well said cat was black and we all know black cats ate traditionally seen as symbolism of bad luck. Well... I don't think that was accidental. Also Fai growing up his hair might be symbolic too, something about spiritual growth

General opinion:

My first clamp blorbo!!!

I'm so so glad clamp didnt go with their original plan and kill Fai bc what's the point of killing deeply traumatized character that's on road of healing? I'm sure trc would have taken far far darker turn if Fai died and that's sort of not a point. Trc road trip is like a slow therapy, each 4 of them had their deeply rooted problems and each 4 of them received amazing character development for better. Fai was arguably in worst mental place and it's refreshing to see him genuinely happy and getting better post trc

[trcquotes]

Syaoran: This country of Outo, what in the world— Sumomo: Emergency! An oni has attacked a normal citizen! The victim’s wounds were fatal! The location is the café Cat’s Eye!

[fatherlyfrog]

Remembering my silly idea about Human Duck, Copper, n Flower, so uh, here's how I always imagined them!!!

Duck: Chubby silly guy!!! They definitely wear shit like those colored shirts with white silhouettes of flowers and socks with sandals </3 They probably have brownish dark red hair and are more masc leaning!!! They dress like the "hip" dad </3 they probably look like they're in their late 30s despite being like 25

Copper: Put a scientist and steampunk enthusiast into a tall ass twink's body /silly but yeah!!! They always wear goggles cause they like being prepared. Uhuhuhuh tallish and skinny, the tallest out of the 3 probably!!! They definitely give vibes of an overworked college student working at a cheap store </3 but yeah!!! Orangey blonde guy who probably wears turtlenecks everywhere lol

Flower: Xe is always wearing an oversized hoodie or pretty dresses!!! They're definitely the most feminine out of the 3. They do need glasses but they can still without them so!!! Yeah ig pop off- Despite being fucking feral for a good 15 years of their life they have completely different outfits for going out in public (even as simple as a grocery store) and inside!!! They have about 20 Vocaloid themed hoodies (/hyp) and they long to have a outfit like Miko Ooka's!!! Uhuhuh they're a dirty blonde and their hair looks light brown!! Basically dresses outside hoodies inside also they carry a little cat plushy everywhere change my mind

Also if I had to guess their ages in the human AU Copper is 17-19, Duck is like,,, early/mid 20s (Probably like, 25), and Flower is 15!!! If you'd asked, Flower is probably the one with an actual set fashion taste that looks good and blends in!!! God I love these 3 <3

oho yoooo @grotesqueman look

[gabbylyons]

Read that first meeting writer prompt and my sleep depraved mind came up with this: vamp twins land up in Outo and get job in cafe like main gang did. For plot reasons only maid outfits available. Subaru convinces Kamui with "we'll stay here for a week and noone will know!" - jokes on you Subaru of course someone will know that's what story is about. On day 3 Kamui even gets the cat ears and tail. Comforts himself with "noone will know". Hissing at customers helps his anger lvl however. Instead of flopping due to Kamui's attitude, cafe is a major hit. I wonder why 🤔

Next thing they know Fuuma arrives in Outo.

Catboy hissing fiesty vampire bf in maid outfit ❤

OMG THIS IS PURE GOLD

Kamui is cursing Subaru in all languages possible when Fuuma shows up and starts teasing him about how cute he looks. Of course he thinks that Fuuma is mocking him and he totally is, but he's only doing that because

1- Kamui looks sexier when he's angry

2- He is trying to hide how hard It is to control himself with kamui dressed up like that in front of him

[mairyuu]

TRC AU where the vampire twins have been part of the Tsubasa gang's journey from the very beginning.

Ohh this is intriguing. I won't be going too much into TRC concrete plot or relationship between TRC main gang themselves, I'll focus mostly on Subaru and Kamui (and SubKam):

Paying with their blood isn't enough for twins to hop dimensions so Yuuko suggests they travel with TRC crew. Kamui is instantly distrustful of them (nothing person, he's just vigilant like that) but even Subaru is slightly on guard. After all, person who he trusted just betrayed him and tried to kill him, forcing twins to be on a run.Seeing as they have no option other than accept, they begin traveling with Syaoran, Sakura, Fai, Kurogane and Mokona.

When they arrive to Hanshin republic twins see Sorata and Arashi and are instantly reminded of ones from their world. Of course, Sorata and Arashi from this world don't recognize them; since it's their first world, Subaru get extra melancholic and lonely because of that. Kamui gets frustrated too but mostly beause of Subaru's melancholy and fact they're surrounded by strangers (TRC gang). However it's in this world where all six of them are getting to know each other (ofc minus twins and Syaoran -> Sakura). They instantly bond with Mokona however, Kamui can’t say no to that cuteness and being doted on. Mokona compares him to a hissing kitten. Kamui blushes and is about to join Kurogane’s mission of killing that little thing - but it’s first time he saw Subaru laugh since they stated being on run, so Kamui lets it slide. He’s a hissing kitten from there on.

In Koryo and Fog country Subaru and Kamui begin forming bonds with rest of crew. Since Fai is shady af in this part, Kamui takes a subtle disliking on him because see what happened last time they trusted someone shady? Subaru consoles Kamui and suggests they give Fai a chance (to which Kamui hisses even more but he can't really be mad at Subaru). Fortunately for Kamui, Subaru spends more time with Syaoran and Sakura; Kamui follows as well and he feels like they're safe with those two teenagers. Twins are hiding fact that they're vampires although, mainly because they aren't sure if they'll be hunted down and how TRC crew would react. Plus Kamui is worried something like what happened with Seishirou would happened again and someone would get vampire blood from them. Nonetheless, Kurogane suspects something isn't as it seems about twins. Something feels off. just like with Fai, he won't hold back on calling Kamui out on 'moving so fast' or 'never seen eating human food' and so on. Kamui avoids him because of those call outs. Twin feed on each other only, in complete privacy so noone knows.

It's in Outo that things go down. Since Kamui is more battle-inclined than Subaru, Fai suggests Subaru stays behind and helps with Cat eye cafe while Kamui helps Syaoran and Kurogane fight against demons (Kamui gets called hissing kitten and Subaru docile puppy). Nonetheless neither of twins can shake sense that something just feels off about Outo. Kamui is worried something really bad might happen but Subaru reassures him everything would be fine; he cant stand seeing his twin anxious like that. Then one day Syaoran returns to cafe saying he ran into his ex-teacher, Seishirou. Last bit of hope vanishes when Syaoran retells story of how they met and how he’s searching for vampire twins. Seeing as how pale and anxious twins became, Kurogane and Fai put two and two together but kept realization between themselves.

Of course twins want to leave world asap but there’s a catch: Sakura’s feather in still somewhere in country. Kamui denies they’re vampires upon asking but even he knows it’s inane to conceal truth any longer. Gang agrees to stay in world few more days the most and if feather isn’t found in that time, they’ll leave for safety reasons. Kamui refused to leave Subaru’s side in meantime; that night instead of going to his room Kamui said he’ll sleep by Subaru’s bedside. Subaru insisted Kamui shouldn’t sleep on floor when they shared same bed when younger countless times before. So they cuddle and reassure each other, eventually falling asleep in each other’s embrace; still, neither of them can deny that something fees different from how they cuddled before. Why bumping heart and fuzzy feeling within chest? Still, they have much more pressing issue at hand than sources of said warm fuzzy feelings and mushy thoughts.

Since they’re connected via blood, Seishirou manages to locate Subaru and Cat eye cafe next day. Full blown fight breaks out. Fai goes out first just like in manga; Seishirou removes him as he has no business with him. So that leaves twins (and Sakura, who was told to escape and seek Kurogane and Syaoran) with Seishirou. They fight but Subaru is more focused on protecting Kamui than injuring Seishirou (for various reasons). In the end Seishirou fake-attacks Suabru, causing Kamui to attack recklessly; just as Seishirou is about to deliver a blow to Kamui, Subaru pushes him out of way and gets pierced by scythe instead. He ‘dies’ and transports to Edonis where Fai and Chitose explain everything about Outo. Of course, Kamui knows none of that and thinks Subaru is really dead - he goes berserk. Kurogane and Syaoran arrive in meantime and Outo slowly dissolves. Seeing how fiery and none-human Kamui is fighting, Crew concludes twins are vampires. Even if Seishirou caught up with twins, he never imagined they wouldn’t be alone. As it’s 1-vs-5, he has no choice other than to leave; but he threatens he’ll never abandon what is ‘his’. Ofc Kamui’s blood boil when he hears that hunter refer to his twin like that (and he’s still afraid for Subaru’s safety), but there’s more to ire than protectiveness. Twins reunite and Kamui weeps in Subaru’s arms how he thought he was dead. TRC crew gives them a minute of privacy before leaving Edonis. Subaru reassures him and cuddles closer; they talk, faces inches apart. Magnetic pull is drawing them together, Subaru impulsively leans in to - Fai accidentally interrupts them; he knows what has almost happened between twins but chooses not to comment or tell others.

In Idol country they sort of catch a break. Twins disclose some of history they share with Seishirou and why he’s hunting them down. Inconvinince for all of them yes, but Kurogane says he’ll give them a hand in battle if it comes to that (since he took personal disliking on Seishirou; very valid of you Kurogane). Subaru and Kamui are glued to each other after Outo accident but neither of them can deny how atmosphere between them shifted; there is tension lingering. Kurogane, Fai and Mokona notice it too, but only Fai knows what that is truly about. Just like with rest of crew, he’s trying to keep emotional distance but not be too obvious about it so Fai decides it’s better for him not to meddle. Mokona asks Subaru why he’s being so jumpy whenever Kamui touches him now, but Subaru can’t give a proper answer; neither to himself nor Mokona. She asks Kamui in private too, he can’t answer either.

[completeoveranalysis]

[17]

NEVER FORGET!

[yououui]

" i'm trying so hard, but... i can't stop myself from falling in love with you. " - but it's kurogane saying it! because you know he tried to stop himself before deciding this was just his lot in life and it was time to wife that boy

I accidentally wrote a 5 page fic of Kurogane just being a lovesick idiot enjoy

They sit in silence after Tomoyo leaves them. Kurogane wants to yell at her a bit because what the hell is she playing at dressing the mage like that?! but it turns out that cutting off an arm is exhausting and he doesn’t have the energy to fight her. He does give her a glare as she exits the room and she winks back at him.

Tea is brought for them eventually and Fai carefully pours them each a warm glass. “How are you feeling?” Fai asks while handing Kurogane his cup, the first words spoken since he socked Kurogane upside the head.

Kurogane shrugs, a natural instinct that proves to be a mistake as pain shoots across his left side. Fai notices his wince and moves closer in concern, like he thinks Kurogane will need to be caught before fainting, but Kurogane waves him off. “I’m fine. Just tired.”

“And in pain,” Fai says. He almost sounds angry, but the sad look on his face betrays his tone.

“It’s not that bad,” Kurogane tells him instead. “As long as I don’t move too much.”

Fai regards the empty sleeve hanging at Kurogane’s side and the white bandages wrapped tightly around his chest. “You’re such… an idiot,” He says eventually. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“Thought I made it clear a while ago,” Kurogane responds, as easily as ever. “I’ll do anything to protect the people I love.”

Fai laughs, though it sounds more like a sob, and shakes his head. “If you love me then you’re even more of an idiot.”

“Trust me, I know,” Kurogane says. When Fai lifts his eye, Kurogane offers him a small smile just so the idiot doesn’t get the idea in his head that Kurogane is serious. Somehow, even for as upset as he is, it gets Fai to smile weakly as well. That gives Kurogane the encouragement he needs to continue. “Y’know mage, I’m trying so hard—I’ve been trying for a while, but…”

But…?

When did it start exactly? When did the annoyance towards the insufferable man sitting beside him turn into curiosity? When did he begin finding himself wanting to know more about him—when did he begin to care?

He can’t be certain but Outo springs to mind first. The moment Fai’s casual admittance that he wanted to die spiked anger in Kurogane. Anger not towards Fai, as Fai believed, but towards the mere idea of him going through with it. And the moment he saw the mage’s ribbon on the ground, no body to be seen as demons surrounded him and that anger returned like a tsunami wave engulfing him until he could barely see or breathe.

And the relief when he saw the idiot was actually alive. And the frustration at himself for feeling so relieved for someone that didn’t care about Kurogane or himself. Kurogane knew that it was pointless to let himself be interested in the mage; Fai was a liar that carefully kept them all at arms length and Kurogane had no idea who he would see when the mask finally fell.

But he didn’t want Fai to die. As grating as Fai could be, Kurogane wanted him to stick around. He didn’t care about Fai’s past, but he wanted to understand him more. He wanted to know what he liked—liquor, music, cooking, annoying Kurogane, cats, dogs?—and what he disliked—hangovers, waking up early, pickles, personal questions, green tea. He wanted to understand what had Fai so guarded, what had him so afraid, and he wanted Fai to understand that he could let the walls down every now and then, that Kurogane would protect him from whatever he was running from.

And then Yama, Piffle, Lecourt, seeing those walls break down brick by careful brick. Feeling the strength of Fai’s magic for the first time as it engulfed them, the sheer power of it suffocating and brilliant. And Kurogane felt a brief spark of hope that maybe, maybe, Fai was beginning to learn that caring wasn’t such a bad thing.

And then the fear that came with the weight of Fai’s limp body in his arms, the way his blood fell like morbid tears and stained usually flawless skin. Kurogane had felt that once before as a child, the night his life was burned to ruins but he still refused to let his mother go. Kurogane also refused to let Fai go; he needed to feel the mage’s breath and heartbeat, no matter how weak. He needed to know with certainty that Fai was still alive.

It may have began earlier, but it was then that he realized that his minor curiosity had grown into something he couldn’t control or bury or pretend not to notice. In that moment, his worldview narrowed down until he could only see Fai, the noises around them dulled except for Fai’s wavering breath and weak voice, and suddenly anything else he’d ever wanted didn’t seem to matter. He made the wish and paid the price and bound himself to Fai, a man who would keep running seemingly forever.

Well then, to hell with Nihon—he could find a new home or wander around new worlds with Fai until the day he died. He could give up his own life, tear out his own heart, anything it would take to keep that idiot alive for one more day.

It was only after it was over and the price paid that Kurogane reminisced about his parents and realized that there was a word for what he was feeling.

“But I can’t stop myself from falling in love with you.”

Fai says nothing but the breath he takes is sharp enough to cut the stillness around them. Because sure, Kurogane loved him, he cared, they were friends after all. But to fall in love…

It was something he knew he shouldn’t feel as soon as he realized it. He knew he should avoid it. If he tried to pursue someone who did not want to be chased, it would only end in disaster.

And gods did he try to stop it before it reached that point. Kurogane had heard of heartbreak of course, through others lamenting the loss of their beloved or reading about it in books, but he’d never experienced it himself. He didn’t understand how such a feeling could overwhelm someone completely and scoffed at characters in stories that threw themselves from high windows or drank poison rather than live a day without their love.

But then he felt it, that hot knife of rejection stabbing him straight through the chest. Each cold word and hostile glare twisted the blade until he was certain his heart had been crushed to a gruesome, mangled mess, and yet there were still tender bits of it left for Fai to sink his claws into. And then Kurogane understood the windows and the poison and honestly, he’d rather cut off his other arm than ever experience that again.

But at least Fai was alive. At least he was there, and Kurogane would take the bitter pain and more for Fai. Only for Fai.

Kurogane chuckles to himself now, the entire thing so miserable it’s almost humorous. If the person he was before Tomoyo cast him away could see him now, he’d probably call himself a moron, just like those characters in the stories. Kurogane never knew one person could change him so much. “Even when you hated me, I couldn’t help it.”

Fai’s head falls forward and he digs the heel of his palm into his eye as if it could shove his tears back inside. His other hand trembles and fists his kimono so tightly, Kurogane is worried he’ll tear right through the silk.

“I never—hated you,” Fai gasps, shoulders trembling. Kurogane feels bad for making Fai cry—Fai’s cried a lot recently. It comforts Kurogane to hear the truth, though, and he thinks the mage needs it. He has about five lifetimes of tears built up. “I couldn’t. So I tried to make you hate me but—gods, even after all I did... how I treated you…! You still wouldn’t...”

Kurogane turns his body a bit so that he can reach Fai with his right hand. He ruffles Fai’s hair and the indignant squeak Fai lets out as his head is pushed down feels entirely worth it. “Guess we’re both idiots then,” Kurogane tells him quietly.

Fai peers up at him through his hair that Kurogane has made a mess of. His face is shining with tears, his cheeks splotched red and his eye swollen and Kurogane marvels that such a beautiful person could ever exist in the mortal world.

Fai weakly—playfully—swats Kurogane’s hand away and wipes his sleeve against his cheeks. Kurogane snorts, humored that the outfit Tomoyo carefully picked for Fai to wear for a very specific reason has been reduced down to a rag to dry his face. “I think Kuro-sama must be on all kinds of strange medicine,” Fai says with a fragile but honest smile. “He’s in such a good mood and saying all kinds of weird things.”

“Mm. Don’t expect to hear this shit when I wake up tomorrow,” Kurogane tells him with a nod. He’s still smiling though, smiling like a lovesick idiot with hearts in his eyes but damn it he’s been through too much and has almost lost Fai too many times to care about it now. Hearing the slightly teasing tone in the mage’s voice and seeing him here, alive and at Kurogane’s side, soothes his torn up heart and begins stitching the pieces back together.

Fai’s smile grows as well, the fragile edges chipping away and leaving behind a look of pure happiness Kurogane has never seen on him before. Fai reaches over, letting go of his own kimono to grab the empty sleeve of Kurogane’s. “I’m sorry,” He says. “And thank you. But never do something like this again.”

“Don’t almost get yourself killed again and I won’t have to,” Kurogane tells him, grinning.

Fai nods, still smiling. “Fine. You’ll live a long, long life with me by your side, Kuro-sama. I hope you know what you’ve gotten yourself into.”

It’s probably the strangest proposal in the history of any world, but it’s one Kurogane is happy to accept.

[recentanimenews]

Manga the Week of 3/31/21

SEAN: March ain’t going out like a lamb when it comes to manga.

ASH: True, that!

SEAN: Airship has two print books; Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash 14.5 and Mushoku Tensei 9.

Denpa’s website lists femme fatale: The Art of Shuzo Oshimi for next week. An artbook dedicated to the creator of Flowers of Evil, Blood on the Tracks and more.

They’ve also got The Girl with the Sanpaku Eyes 2 listed.

Ghost Ship has Yuuna and the Haunted Hot Springs 13.

No debuts from J-Novel Club, but we do get the 10th and final volume of The Combat Baker and Automaton Waitress. We also see Demon Lord, Retry! 6, The Epic Tale of Reincarnated Prince Herscherik 4, Holmes of Kyoto 4, My Instant Death Ability is So Overpowered, No One in This Other World Stands a Chance Against Me! 4, and The White Cat’s Revenge as Plotted from the Dragon King’s Lap 4. Desu.

Kaiten Books has a 2nd volume of My Dad’s the Queen of All VTubers?!.

Debuting in print for Kodansha is Chasing After Aoi Koshiba (Kyou, Koshiba Aoi ni Aetara), a yuri manga from Ichijinsha’s Comic REX. It’s got the writer of Masamune-kun’s Revenge (ehh…) and the artist of Bottom-Tier Character Tomozaki (yay!). A girl hopes to meet up with her first love at a reunion.

ASH: Seems like it has potential.

MELINDA: Agreed.

Also in print: Don’t Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro 6, Heaven’s Design Team 4, The Quintessential Quintuplets 13, and Shikimori’s Not Just a Cutie 3.

Digitally we get two debuts. The first is She’s My Knight (Ikemen Kanojo to Heroine na Ore!?), which runs in Kodansha’s Palcy, and features a popular young man having to deal with falling in love with a girl more popular AND more manly than he is!

ANNA: This sounds amusing.

SEAN: We also get Those Snow-White Notes (Mashiro no Oto). This is a biggie, as it’s already 27 volumes in Japan. It’s multi-award winning, runs in Weekly Shonen Magazine, is by the author of Baby & Me and A Vampire and His Pleasant Companions, and is for the Shamisen what Chihayafuru is for Hyakunin Isshu. It also has an anime this spring!

MICHELLE: I’m super excited about this one!

ASH: I love shamisen so much.

MELINDA: Okay, I’m ready!

SEAN: And we get A Condition Called Love 7, Elegant Yokai Apartment Life 21, How Do You Do, Koharu? 2, I Want To Hold Aono-kun So Badly I Could Die 7, My Unique Skill Makes Me OP Even at Level 1 3, and Saint Young Men 11.

MICHELLE: I need to get caught up on several of these.

MELINDA: Same here.

SEAN: Seven Seas debuts two manga based on light novels they also have. Drugstore in Another World: The Slow Life of a Cheat Pharmacist (Cheat Kusushi no Slow Life: Isekai ni Tsukurou Drugstore) runs in Takeshobo’s Web Comic Gamma Plus, and is about… well, the title.

ASH: So many titles these days are helpful like that, perhaps overly so.

SEAN: And there is also ROLL OVER AND DIE: I Will Fight for an Ordinary Life with My Love and Cursed Sword! (“Omae Gotoki ga Maou ni Kateru to Omou na” to Yuusha Party o Tsuihou Sareta node, Outo de Kimama ni Kurashitai), which runs in Micro Magazine’s Comic Ride, and combines yuri and gore-filled grimdark quite nicely.

Seven Seas also has the digital debut of four more Alice books, which focus on Elliot March and Tweedle Dee/Dum. If I recall correctly, the Twins books were the smuttiest in the series.

ANNA: No thank you!

SEAN: They’ve also got BL Metamorphosis 4, the third and final volume of Ghostly Things, High-Rise Invasion 17-18, Himouto! Umaru-chan Vol. G1 (also a final volume, sort of – it’s a one-shot continuation), the fifth and final volume of How to Treat Magical Beasts: Mine and Master’s Medical Journal, Made in Abyss 9, Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid 10, and Precarious Woman Executive Miss Black General 6.

MICHELLE: Someday I really will read BL Metamorphosis.

ASH: You really should! It is wonderful.

MELINDA: I also need to read it!

SEAN: Two debuts for Yen On. The first is a spinoff. I Was a Bottom-Tier Bureaucrat for 1,500 Years, and the Demon King Made Me a Minister (Hira Yakunin Yatte 1500-nen, Maou no Chikara de Daijin ni Sare Chaimashita) features Beelzebub and her demonic crew from I’ve Been Killing Slimes for 300 Years having adventures of their own.

The other is Yokohama Station SF, the story of a boy who is allowed to search the giant subway terminal that the world of Japan has become. This looks pretty cool, actually.

MICHELLE: It looks super cool! I always love stories about exploring sprawling structures (like BLAME, for example).

ASH: I’m definitely picking this one up! It looks like it should help fill the SF hole left by Viz’s Haikasoru imprint being on hiatus.

MELINDA: This one sounds so interesting!

Also out next week: 86 ~Eighty-Six~ 7, new reprints of the 5th and 6th Haruhi Suzumiya novels, The Hero Is Overpowered But Overly Cautious 6, and Rascal Does Not Dream of Siscon Idol (the 4th in the series).

Yen Press has many manga debuts next week. We start with Can’t Stop Cursing You (Dareka o Norawazu ni Irarenai Kono Sekai de), a dark little horror title from Gangan Online. A curse detective uses their powers to track down killers.

ASH: I’m curious about this one.

MELINDA: This actually does sound like my kind of thing.

Goblin Slayer Side Story II: Dai Katana gets a manga version of its light novel. It runs in Square Enix’s Manga Up!.

Love and Heart (Koi to Shinzou) is a shoujo horror title from Hakusensha’s Manga Park. A college woman recovering from a breakup now finds she has a new roommate, who says he’s her old childhood friend. But… is he?

ANNA: I’m intrigued by the idea of shoujo horror.

MICHELLE: Yeah, this could be interesting.

ASH: Shoujo horror is one of my faves.

MELINDA: Ooooooooo.

SEAN: Love of Kill (Koroshi Ai) runs in Media Factory’s Comic Gene, and is about a pair of assassins engaging in… sigh… a deadly game of cat and mouse. (No, they’re not cats and mice, I just sighed at the cliche.) I’ve actually heard this is pretty cool.

ANNA: Sometimes I enjoy assassins!

ASH: Likewise!

MELINDA: Me too!

SEAN: Lastly, we see When a Magician’s Pupil Smiles (Mahou Tsukai no Deshi ga Warau Toki), a 3-in-1 omnibus collecting the entire manga. It ran in Shonen Gangan, and also seems to fall into the horror suspense theme Yen’s March debuts are falling into.

ASH: I tend to enjoy a fair amount of the subgenre, so I’m okay with the trend.

SEAN: In non-debuts, we get 86 ~Eighty-Six~’s second manga volume, Bungo Stray Dogs 18, Carole & Tuesday 2, Do You Love Your Mom? 4 (manga version), Fiancee of the Wizard 3, Im – Great Priest Imhotep 8, Kaiju Girl Caramelize 4, Karneval 11, Last Round Arthurs 2 (manga version), Lust Geass 3, Reborn As a Polar Bear 5, Strawberry Fields Once Again 2, That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: The Ways of the Monster Nation 4, and The Vampire and His Pleasant Companions 2.

ASH: I am so far behind on my Yen reading!

SEAN: Oof. There is a lot there. Do you see favorites?

By: Sean Gaffney

[plounce]

rob i Need to hear ur fai opinions! also can i have some watanuki thoughts. 😷😷

a kate you know me so well

FAI:

Sexuality Headcanon: gay. gay little thing.

Gender Headcanon: nonbinary gay person! he likes to present femininely. he and sakura have a mother-daughter dynamic. genderful

A ship I have with said character: kurofai FOREVER!!!!!!!! ive written thousands upon thousands of words of meta about them but they drive me bonkers fucking yonkers. the inextricable, intertwined character arcs... the perfect foils... the way that they SAVE EACH OTHER from their trauma... they are so good. wish clamp depicted them being tender but (sigh) whatever

A BROTP I have with said character: he and sakura have the most wonderful dynamic... he nurtures her. i wish clamp would stop focusing on c!syaoran so much and acknowledge that the last time fai saw c!sakura, he was forced to impale her with a big fucking sword. fucked up + traumatizing! regardless - the panels i have saved of them cooking together in outo sit warmly in my heart.

A NOTP I have with said character: fai/chii is so funnily terrible. clamp’s epic clapback against studio deen by making her a copy of his mom....... lmfao. also faisaku is the most vile possible thing on earth followed shortly by faisyao

A random headcanon: i think in a modern au fai would have to deal with a lot of internalized homophobia/transphobia along with all the trauma that comes with being fai... fai has very restricting ideas of how he should interact/bond with others even as those ideas go against his actual nature. ugh fai you are simply the saddest

General Opinion over said character: my favorite character ever!!! i love love love him, have since i was 13. he’s so special and important to me. i’m so glad he got a happy ending with his husband.

WATANUKI:

Sexuality Headcanon: he’s bi, but leans a lot more towards men than he thinks. his crush on himawari was about 75% because he expected himself to feel that way - performance. he REALLY suppresses his feelings towards doumeki. maybe this is my hc bc im a lesbian, who can say..........

Gender Headcanon: boy. could be a trans boy, but mostly i just picture several dudes i know in high school.

A ship I have with said character: douwata................. the ship for cucks. like me and like doumeki. their bond is so compelling and it just grabs your attention. how they share eyes!! and doumeki’s quiet steadiness... their melancholy, bittersweet domesticity in rou is also so moody and interesting. poor kids. i also like douwatahima on occasion! it’s sweet.

A BROTP I have with said character: ah yuuko... now that is a very weird mother complex. but their dynamic is the heart of holic and her strange mysterious nurturing and support of watanuki is like... i feel like she wanted to give him so much more help but her Situations forbade her from it. i do think she fucked him up in certain ways but she tried her best, and a lot of it was out of her hands.

A NOTP I have with said character: stanning watahima is what you get if you don’t think critically about the text whatsoever.

A random headcanon: despite how the text identifies him with cats, he actually prefers dogs - they’re easier to read.

General Opinion over said character: you can’t help but be fond of him. half of me doesn’t mind his super melancholy ending, i think it’s interesting. i thought the stuff about his cooking being a metaphor for him was soooo cool - how he can’t taste it as he loses his sense of self, but how doumeki has always loved eating it... AGHHH watanuki! i love the themes about being selfish being a good thing bc you have to value yourself very interesting.

[mikoriin]

Consider: The Tsubasa fam is in Outo country. Kurogane gets sick or something, so Fai and Mokona go with him to the doctor’s office. Meanwhile, Syaoran helps Sakura at the Black Cat cafe, but it’s a slow day, so they basically just get to spend the whole day together getting groceries, baking, and being dressed up in their cute cafe uniforms.

THATS SO CUTE!!! they deserve to have a little date!!! 

i think i love piffle world a lot for that that reason, they go shopping and get to have a little date, plus the times syaoran helps sakura out with her dragonfly piloting!! we live for canon syaosaku moments in this house

[noa-ciharu]

Liberation

synopsys: Kamui loses a bet against Fuuma and has to spend a night in cat outfit as result. As it's a matter of principles, he can't back away from what he promised in spur of a moment.

additional info: set in TRC universe some time after Acid Tokyo arc. Fuuma and Kamui had on-and-off romantic and sexual relationship. World they’re in in fic is similar to Outo just more stable and safe. Snip of fic; first part.

word count: 3.7k

warnings: suggestive themes, mentions of nsfw stuff, roleplay outfits.

Just how did he get into this mess?

Vision swam again, another wave of nausea washed over; Kamui feverishly hoped he won’t throw up in next few hours; really, such embarrassment he can’t handle his drink when both him and Fuuma had same amount and he was barely affected. Beside slightly flushed cheeks and infrequent slurred speech, he appeared in full control of himself. Just as Kamui was about to curse Fuuma mentally once more, he felt himself stumbling forward into table – was caught immediately and stilled by shoulders. Fuuma wrapped arm around his frame and drew into his side; being too drunk to protest, Kamui allowed the maneuver.

Kamui gripped edge of his top and tried to pull it over stomach; piece of clothing didn’t budge at all, stayed fixed in place. Reasonable, as it resembled a crop-top, certainly was not meant to cover whole abdomen. He puffed in annoyance, then paced around room restlessly; tried to lower it again, yet to no avail. He felt so… bare. So exposed. So uncomfortable, both emotionally and physically, for very palpable reasons. So uneasy and tense. Pacing around in circles, Kamui discerned collar and fluffy headband on bathroom cabinet in far left corner; no way he was putting those on; not even for goddamn bet. Not now, not ever, for sake of already wounded pride. Tiles felt cold under bare feet; Kamui hissed vaguely, but otherwise ignored such mundane discomforts; had more pressing issues at hand. Twisting around, Kamui caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror; flinched same instant, then tore gaze away.

Oh, he knew exactly how he got himself into this mess.

Leaning back into bar sofa’s backrest, Kamui found whole room spinning; good thing he was sitting for he would have fell flat on face by now. From eye’s corner Kamui noticed movement of Fuuma’s arm; took him few seconds to comprehend Fuuma was refilling both their drink. You bastard, Kamui wanted to hiss but room spun around yet once again; vertigo kicked in, along with nausea. Maybe he overdid it, got too drunk this time around. Putting too much faith in his vampire abilities, Kamui was self-assured no amount of alcohol would pose any harm; grave mistake of his for he could barely form a coherent sentence within mind, let alone stand straight without assistance.

“You know your brother knows about us?”, distantly Kamui heard Fuuma murmur something; took him few heartbeats for intoxicated mind to grasp and process meaning of words. No way, Kamui’s mind instantly objected to such absurdity.

“Don’t b-be ridiculous, of course he do-doesn’t!”, he retorted immediately; perhaps a bit too loudly as dozen of customers in bar regarded them with disgruntled looks. To hell with it, they can stare all they want, Kamui was five drinks past giving a single damn. Perhaps accepting Fuuma’s invitation to go out drinking wasn’t brightest move of his. Oh well….too late now; all issues at the moment would be for next morning Kamui, not his wasted self at the moment.

Kamui felt warm puff of air near ear; perhaps Fuuma chuckled but his intoxicated mind couldn’t be sure. It reeked of alcohol; revolting under any other circumstances, alluring under current. Impulse to kiss him evoke, yet before Kamui could act upon it Fuuma raised glass to lips. After taking a sip of cocktail, he offered Kamui one too. Wait, is this liquid blue? Maybe vision was blurring as well; he was already wasted, one more sip couldn’t hurt.

“What makes you so sure Kamui?”, Fuuma whispered into his hair, tone just low enough to send shiver down spine. Oh no we won’t, not tonight, Kamui wanted to protest; found himself too intoxicated to even begin. Sweet taste of cocktail reached tongue, both saccharine and deceiving; honeyed indeed for there was no way alcohol was meant to be so sugary. Only brought false sense of security that one wasn’t even consuming alcoholic drink. No wonder he got wasted in next to no time; another one of Fuuma’s ploy, there was no other plausible explanation other than him using Kamui’s sweet tooth against him.

“No way Subaru knows we’re… ya know, doing that”, Kamui rushed out and accented last word a bit too aggressively; furious blush spread over cheeks. Fuuma laughed silently this time, then ruffled and kissed his hair. Oh god, are they really being so affectionate in public? And he was allowing that? Even encouraging? Kamui already prayed for his sanity tomorrow morning when reality slaps him over faced.

“That, is called fucking, and it’s adorable how after everything we’ve done you can’t bring yourself to sa-”

“Shut up Fuuma”, he hissed out yet even to own ears words lacked the bite; not to mention use of Fuuma’s name instead of insulting term was a telltale how rest of night would go. Before Fuuma could gloat or grin oh so smugly (as Kamui had no shadow of doubt he would; was merely processing how and when to deliver the jab), Kamui pushed on.

“Subaru would have said so-something. No way.... would be a-able to look me in the eye without blushing”. Surely there was no chance in hell Subaru knew? After all, he was asleep in dystopian Tokyo. Not to mention Fuuma scarcely ever ran into them on his journey; and during those time Kamui made sure they were discrete about midnight meetings and public display of affection; kept it all behind Fuuma’s closed doors. Not too frequent of course, in order to not raise suspicion; really, how to tell Subaru he was seeing brother of same man that is hunting them down? Thank heaven above both him and his twin were introverts and craved time for themselves from time to time; perfect excuse to slip away and meet with Fuuma without having Subaru too skeptical and piping interest for what Kamui was doing behind his back.

“Oh Kamui, he’s not nearly as innocent as he seems…”, Fuuma commented non-nonchalantly and left sentence hanging.

And how do you know that, Kamui wanted to ask sarcastically, but Fuuma beat him up to it – “Let’s bet on it”

If he were sober, Kamui would have retorted in same instant; Fuuma’s schemes bode nothing but trouble, both blow to his dignity and mental state. Howbeit, boldness kicked in, demanding a challenge, to try and win in their little power exchanges for once; perhaps not as significant victory as that one night back in dystopian world of Tokyo, but sense of triumph and empowerment nonetheless. For those self-indulgent reasons as well as intoxication, instead of stepping backwards Kamui pushed forwards.

"And your suggestion is?”

There was no other, he was going to kill that man. Perhaps himself too, for falling himself into such obvious trap; ought to had put foot down and insist against that idea from the start. And maybe not get drunk as high hell in Fuuma’s presence altogether. Damn you and your schemes. And damn myself for lowering guard around you so much. Still, offer was too tempting, Kamui had hard time refusing. Fuuma said he’d do anything Kamui asked of him for one whole day; Kamui teased he’d make a dog out of him, fully expecting Fuuma to say no to such denigrating implication; yet to his surprise Fuuma agreed without any deliberation. But insisted that if he were to be a dog in case of losing the bet, then Kamui would have to follow the pattern and be a kitty; of course he protested immediately. Oh, so you’re not fully confident your brother doesn’t know the truth? Even memory of Fuuma’s smug voice evoke ire from that time. As pride was challenged, natural stubbornness and competitiveness kicked in – in spur of a moment and overconfidence, Kamui ended up agreeing to bet terms.

How could he had been so reckless, Kamui couldn’t fathom. Only silver lining being fact that he could easily blame it all on alcohol; and Fuuma’s perverted intentions. Hissing in annoyance, Kamui continued pacing around in circles. After three spins dissociated himself enough to not mechanically put more accessories on himself. Pair of leather black leg garter; simple in design, only decoration being O-rings on inner sides. Fortunately there were no garter belts or stockings. White belt around shorts’ hem went in with ease. Systematically Kamui put arm cuffs on both arms; feathery material, it felt soft against skin yet proved little to no warmth; garment merely for aesthetic reasons. Swallowing metaphorical discomfort and shame, he put black fluffy cat ears headband on.

Per expected, they ended up at Fuuma’s place that night both of them got intoxicated (or at least when Kamui got wasted for Fuuma evidently could handle his drink exceptionally well). They probably had sex; foggily Kamui could recall screaming at some point; or points? Of no matter, he could scarcely recall what happened that night after they left the bar; oh well, at least pent up frustration got resolved in most primal way possible; it was probably mind-blowing and till dawn. Still, morning after left unsavory taste in mouth as Kamui figured out he worried his twin sick; Subaru assumed something terrible has happened since Kamui promised he’d return to their rented apartment that night. Fuuma explained how Kamui was too drunk to be escorted all the way to their place, so he took him to his instead; Subaru bought that excuse, or at least hasn’t raised up any question marks. It did stand as correct however, but was far cry from full truth.

A week went by. All three of them were busy with work and whole ordeal slipped from Kamui’s mind. He saw Fuuma only in passing; by no means did he imply anything about the bet. Then one evening Subaru got stuck up in late shift; instead of going into cafe, Kamui wanted outside to avoid the crowd and noise; one of pet peeves of his. Fleetingly he contemplated how Subaru managed to survive being around people all the time during previous fortnight for Kamui knew he preferred quiet and low-stimulating places over busy ones. Anyhow, he didn’t wonder for long as Fuuma appeared unannounced and demanded Kamui’s full attention; one way or another. Kamui glared at him and warned against trying anything funny with so many people wandering around; seemingly feisty behavior only encouraged Fuuma further. Closing in, Fuuma barricaded him with both forearms against cafe’s outer wall; before Kamui could demand of Fuuma to back off and not do those kinds of things in public, Fuuma slammed lips down on his. Perhaps….he could allow himself a little indulgence from time to time; let guard down and allow pleasure to be imposed on him so uninhibitedly. Just a minute, no longer, or so Kamui comforted himself; lowering mental barriers, he melted into the kiss. It went on and on.

And then Subaru appeared.

Kamui flinched and shoved Fuuma away as if scorched. Instantly parted lips as to speak, desperate explanation after explanation forming on them. Then he saw expression on Subaru’s face – total lack of shock. Kamui stared. Then blinked. Stared again – image didn’t change, Subaru still wasn’t bewildered or astonished. Not for one second. Ah to hell…

And so Kamui found out Subaru knew about their relationship the entire time.

Sixth sense I guess? I remember seeing you two interact back in Tokyo and intuition nudged at me there was something more inmate going on between you. If you’re so intuitive maybe you ought to have stayed away from that bastard hunter in the first place, Kamui almost yelled at him back then; good thing he kept jab behind teeth as it would had seriously hurt his brother; last thing he wanted was to make Subaru more melancholic than he had natural inclinations being or upset him anyhow. Still, heat of moment on top of Fuuma grinning so cheeky only added oil to fire; Kamui wanted to wipe away that cocky look from his face. Instead Fuuma sneaked a chance and stole yet another kiss (in front of Subaru to the boot), then pulled away by fraction and remind him of bet terms.

And that’s how three days later Kamui found himself in hotel’s room bathroom and bag full of erotic cat-themed accessories, toys and clothing.

Gathering black leather collar, Kamui tired to fasten the belt buckle on nape; twisted collar around so opening was on front and tried so again. To no avail, he kept on missing the hole in belt for a whole minute. No other choice other than to use a mirror. Wetting dry throat and wincing in advance, Kamui approached standing mirror; hastily buckled the collar and twisted it around so decorative bell was on the front; with that outfit was finalized. Then Kamui finally gathered courage to look at himself.

Kamui’s breath hitched up in throat. It took him few seconds to remember how to breath.

He looked…ridiculous. Instinctively Kamui tore gaze away from reflection and snapped eyes shut. Whole situation was ridiculous, to be blunt. He should put foot down, change back into regular clothing and demand a total halt. Still, it was a matter of principles and as much as ego screeched at him to retreat, it also reminded that it’ll be equally wounded in that scenario; not to mention Kamui had a hunch Fuuma wouldn’t allow him to back away so easily at this point, not after arranging everything in advance so methodically (really, even luxurious hotel room was paid beforehand). He was squeezing eyes shut so forcefully that subtle stings of ache emerged; forcing himself to open eyes, Kamui finally gave himself a proper once-over.

Fluffy black cat ears seemed almost natural as black color of hairband merged with exact same shade of hair. Kamui bent head downwards, inspecting how stable they were; headband stayed on, probably will too during whatever depravity Fuuma had in store for him; oh no, Kamui was in no denial about what the whole point of this getup was – another reasons behind apprehensiveness and uncertainty. He was being sexualized in such kittenish way and while it felt liberating and emboldening during sex, outside of it evoke feeling of shame and doubt; just what in the world was he doing in hotel bathroom, dressing up in such kinky getup? Kamui felt like he was being objectified for slender, almost feminine looking body, merely a source of sexual gratification. Of course, deep down Kamui knew that was far from truth, there was way more between them than carnality and wanton desires. If I voice my concerns, would you comfort me and put my wishes above yours? Or would you just find a way to coax me into fulfilling your own with no concern about mine? Still, despite initial discomfort, perhaps he’ll relax as time goes on; maybe internal tension would diminish little by little. Kamui hoped the whole ordeal wasn’t just for sake of embarrassing him, but something he could actually enjoy too; not a punishment, but a reward. Not merely in terms of physical pleasure.

Gaze traveled lower to inch wide black collar around neck; simple in design, felt just the right size, neither too suffocating nor too loose. Experimentally Kamui tugged at decorative bell on front; barely audible ring, yet it echoed in room’s dead stillness. Two inch wide upper arm cuffs resting just below shoulders; half an inch black linen and equally long puff of white lace extended on lower edge. Involuntary Kamui shivered; clothing barely covered anything, no wonder late evening’s chilly air got to him; perhaps coldness didn’t come solely out of physical discomfort; perhaps hesitancy and unease contributed to it; by an impulse Kamui visualized arms wrapping around him, caressing steadily in attempt to warm up, then pulling into equally desirable embrace and – sigh. That’s how I got myself into this madness in the first place, because I couldn’t resist the temptation and was drawn in like moth to the flame. Aimless rumination, serves no purpose as reality stayed unvaried. Gradually Kamui’s gaze dropped lower.

Black top held resemblance to waistcoat except it was a crop-top that barely reached waist; whole stomach was exposed but at least most of his back was covered. Two white buttons on front, false inner layer of black linen added for aesthetical purposes, low cut guaranteeing collar and skin around it were put on display, two white lapels on vest’s both side – all in all Kamui had to admit Fuuma did have a taste; in theory clothing was unique and sexy but on him looked weird and out of place, or so Kamui thought. Even if design was irrefutably made for women, Kamui faced little to no physical discomfort in that aspect; it was as close to unisex as this sort of garments can be. No way Fuuma managed to find all these clothing and sex toys overnight; indisputably had other means of obtaining them, be it via multidimensional witch or purchased in advance. Nonetheless, Kamui couldn’t negate the fact that clothes fit perfectly size-wise; foreseeable as Fuuma was intimately acquainted with every inch of his body, perhaps even more than Kamui  himself. You perverted scheming bastard, Kamui cursed him internally; then for good measure cursed himself as well for agreeing to this lunacy.

What little traces of dignity he had left relished in fact that he was in shots at least, not a skirt as Fuuma originally planned; extremely short one however. Kamui had to frequently lower it down as it was constantly ridding up as he moved; leastwise, material felt velvety and didn’t dig into his behind too much. White leather belt over waist matched with short vest and arm cuffs; black leather leg garters served decorative purposes, or so Kamui hoped. Bathroom tiles felt freezing beneath bare feet but were better than alternative of wearing stockings; even this much kinkiness was overtop. And of course - the tail.

Initially Fuuma wanted to put him in lingerie so exposing and lewd that Kamui nearly died on spot due to how intensely he blushed. Fuuma insisted Kamui lost the bet and had to do as he demanded for dignity’s sake, but when met with such hesitant and tense expression, decided to change the approach. In the end they’ve reached somewhat of an agreement: outfit wouldn’t be so revealing but Kamui would have to wear white lace panties underneath it; and a black cat tail. Alright, swallowing his pride Kamui yielded to that bargain, but regretted every life choice that lead him to this point when saw both items in person. Panties… they had open back (and even a bow-tie on back right above the cut, oh how red he flushed when realization arrived); next Kamui saw tail with suspiciously wide and pointy end, and it took him few heartbeats to put two and two together. After screaming from top of his lungs how Fuuma tricked him and soft chuckle was his only reply, it took Kamui half an hour to calm down and talk himself into even trying to use the plug.

Didn’t cause any hurt but uncomfortable sensation lingered nonetheless; perhaps a bit overwhelming too as feeling of penetration didn’t feel nearly as good when he wasn’t aroused; leastwise there was no burning ache of stench of penetration, some minor advantage of butt plug. Lace panties felt velvety against skin, neither too restrictive nor too loose; no way he’d admit liking that out in open, especially not to Fuuma. Kamui swirled around and inspected the plushy black tail; first part of it was concealed underneath shorts, if a bit awkwardly; rest of toy held tail and curled behind his back. Much like fluffy ears, tail felt soft under fingertips. Kamui stroked it tenderly, trying to keep wandering thoughts at bay, to ground himself on something tangible, even if literal sense of touch. Revealing vest and provocative shorts clung to him like second skin; so suffocating, so overwhelming; feeling of suspense intensified, tension in air thickened,made breathing no longer natural. Even if he was alone in the room, away from unsavory comments and predatory stares; if this is how he felt now, Kamui couldn’t imagine how intense would trepidation be when he is finally -

“Kamui are you done?”

The same instant he heard Fuuma’s voice from other side of door Kamui flinched. No, not now. I’m not mentally ready yet. Not to face you, not to face myself.

“Do you need help with anything?”, Fuuma asked firmly again, this time sound of his voice accompanied by grab of door handle; in a flash Kamui slammed his entire body against door to prevent Fuuma from entering.

“No! Don’t come in!”, he yelled unnecessary loud; screech echoed over bathroom’s tiles. Fuuma opted for not commenting on an outburst; perhaps he expected something of that sort, maybe he was just that predictable (it’d be a bitter pill to swallow however). Using time he was given to recollect himself to manageable degree, Kamui exhaled in relief. It was short-lived however, seeing as he could hide in bathroom forever.

“Just… five more minutes, alright?”. I need time to prepare my own dignity and principles for such fatal blow. It’s not about how Fuuma would react (of course he’d be delighted, Kamui had hard time picturing anything but his cheeky grin and leers), but about own emotional comfort and lingering whispers of utter wrongness. Few moments ticked by in utter silence; only sound being Kamui’s hammering heartbeat; he wondered if Fuuma could hear it from other side of door given how violently it pounded within ribcage.

Indistinct exhale, then Fuuma finally responded - “Alright. But don’t spend whole night in there”. Kamui discerned footsteps from other side of door; volume decreased steadily, telltale Fuuma was pacing away. Kamui puffed out, relief washed over yet died in same breath when he parroted Fuuma’s words within psyche – subtle warning that time for mental and emotional preparations was running out; Fuuma would barge into bathroom within next few minutes if he didn’t go out by then. Kamui forced himself to move from door, then meandered around 2x2 bathroom again; tried to calm down restlessness and trepidation flowing within veins.

Counting internally to ten and backwards, Kamui aimed to relax bumping heart and racing mind as much as possible, given the situation. Tiles still felt cold under feet, slight discomfort of plug inside of him persisted, infrequent clicks of collar’s bell rang within room – nothing would change by driving himself into madness within hotel room’s bathroom. I have to do this, it’s now or never.

Gathering what little bit of resolve he managed to scrape, Kamui reached for door’s knob.