#Falling In Love on the other hand is the musical equivalent of the upside down smiley emoji

[icedteaandoldlace]

As far as fun, happy sounding songs with not fun or happy lyrics go, Falling In Love about takes the cake, 'cause it is the cheeriest, peppiest, sunshiniest motherfucking song about letting your fear of rejection cause you to suppress your emotions and your whole personality 'cause you wholeheartedly believe that no one could ever truly love the real you.

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - College/University

College/University  AU:

** Fics in a series ** Fraternity fics ** Other College/University fics ** A bonus Yousana fic

***** SERIES *****

at the mere sound of his voice, I'm weak in the knees by Skamtrash (SERIES, 4 fics) - The uni au where Even messes around and has sworn off dating but then he meets Isak, who flips everything upside down by being the sweetest and most precious person.

be my rest, be my fantasy by teatrolley (SERIES, 2 fics) - Isak moves out of his parent’s house when he’s sixteen and it’s fine, really, most of the time it’s fine. It’s just Decembers. Goddamn Decembers. They’re not exactly his favourite time of the year. This time, though: this time he think there’s someone who has it worse than he does. On the first of December that year, Even moves in.

Accidental Dating Au by shoulderbone (lavenderforluck) (SERIES, 3 fics) - In which newly single Even writes a guideline for hook ups, but then he meets Isak, and nothing much goes to plan after that. Accidental dating AU.

Rearranged by nofeartina (SERIES, 7 fics) - “You don’t really want to date me, Even. Believe me,” Isak says. “I don’t?” Isak just shakes his head. There’s nothing for him to offer a guy like Even. He should be treated like royalty, pampered every day. That’s never going to be Isak. He doesn’t have that kind of affection in him anymore. There’s nothing left.

Pointing at the Moon by shoulderbone (lavenderforluck) (SERIES, 3 fics) - What he wants to say, and cannot bring himself to admit: Before you there was no real me. Only a person pretending to be. Or, alternatively: Isak comes back to face death, and in the meantime, finds rebirth. First fic: Cathedrals of Light, Salt and Snow

***** Fraternity *****

watch myself, watch myself watching you by cosetties (5.6k words) - Isak is unfairly attractive, is in a frat, and Even would like God to make heterosexuality a sin.

New Perceptions by Skamtrash (9.2k words) - Isak hates frat boys. Even is in a frat and wants Isak.

Eye of the Hurricane by Sabeley (10k words) - the one where Isak wakes up in bed with a member of a rival fraternity and is determined to win him over, one flirtation at a time.

Membership Dues by Sabeley (15k words) - Isak is pledging Even's fraternity. Even keeps having to be reminded that he's not allowed to date the pledges.

(Baby Boy, You The Shit) That Makes You My Equivalent by givemesumaurgravy (23k words) - Isak is a second year frat boy who knows exactly what to say and exactly who to do to keep anyone from suspecting he’s still hiding in the closet. Then he meets Even and everything becomes fucked, quite literally.

Don't Touch Me by patrick_ (camille0078) (27k words) - Please read the warnings! Jonas forces Isak to attend a party that their fraternity is hosting. Isak reluctantly goes, but loses control and can’t remember much of the events that transpire. Every question he asks points to the same answer, which leads to an investigation that he and Even launch. As Isak and Even bond over the mystery, things go awry as Isak’s memory slowly comes back.

***** OTHERS *****

Can you shut up? by smileslikechildren (1k words) - where Isak and Even met at the library, they are both in college and need to study for their upcoming exams week. Isak knows this and tries his hardest but sometimes some certain people at the library wont shut up for nothing

Suffering The Hard Times Together by givemepizza (1k words) - Even and Isak are a young couple in college and living from pay check to pay check, but that doesn't stop them from being cute and crazy in love

the first minute by princevaltersen (1.3k words) - In this minute, Isak met Even, his new university roommate.

Friends and Breakfast by Wolle19 (1.3k words) - Isak love to cook, and his roommates love it too.

22 minutes by hippopotamus (1.4k words) - isak tries to tell jonas that his safety marriage agreement with eva is the worst idea he's ever had. jonas tries to tell isak that he's just jealous because he's single.

Feel Me Up by Skamtrash (1.4k words) - Isak has been making excuses to see the campus doctor for months now, and it's about time he makes something happen between them

He took a Chance by TheRedWoman (1.5k words) - Isak is minding his own business at a party when he notices the cities fuck boy is eyeing him from across the room, but it seems it’s not just Isak who doesn’t like it.

The Best Hand by bri_ness (1.5k words) - Isak has the worst luck, stuck with the last possible timeslot for his last final. But when Even invites him to a snowball fight to relieve his stress, he finds a reason to be grateful he's still on campus.

See Ya by greitnok (1.6k words) - Isak is short-sighted and hates wearing glasses. They make him look like a nerd, maybe he really is but not everyone needs to know that. He can go a day without them any way, what could possibly go wrong, right?

One Of Those Nights by glbertblythes (1.8k words) - Isak is stuck sleeping over at Jonas's place after a long study session during UNI and he's woken up to the blaring of the 'Dirty Dancing' soundtrack and a crying, unknown of roommate in the kitchen.

The Study Buddy by wordsarelifealways (2k words) - In this universe, Even meets Isak when he pours Red Bull into a black coffee at 7.15AM to cope with a morning class. Even's inner barista is horrified, but damn if the boy isn't cute.

Let's Let Things Come Out Of The Woodwork by ultimatelawrence (2.3k words) - Okay so maybe Even's crush is becoming obsessive. Maybe he's asked around a bit too much about Isak Valtersen. Maybe he shouldn't be going to parties he has no real interest in every weekend just so he can look at Isak from afar.

Seasons Greetings by bri_ness (2.3k words) - Isak thinks he's alone over winter break until he hears the worst kind of Christmas music from 308's room. Even thinks he's alone over winter break until he receives a passive aggressive Christmas card under his door.

Of Missed Classes and Campus Cafes by HazyCosmicJive (2.3k words) - Isak started the day knowing it was just going to worse. He looked like shit and he felt like shit and then he goes and crashes, no literally crashes, into the most attractive boy he's ever seen, yet the boy doesn't seem so upset about the event.

Even's "fake" boyfriend by radiantsilver (2.4k words) - Even went to film school for a year in the US, leaving him and Isak in a long distance relationship. Even couldn't stop talking about Isak, the only problem is that his friends don't believe Isak exsists.

It's A Date by glbertblythes (2.5k words) - Isak needs his sleep, even though it doesn't come easy to him - but someone blaring a movie across from his dorm doesn't exactly settle in his stomach well either but it turns into a better situation than Isak had hoped for and he heads the day with an assortment of dates with a cute boy who just so happens to be the guy who had his movie volume blaring at three am.

cups of coffee by slvtherxn (2.8k words) - Even has a giant crush on a boy he doesn’t know, and he’s waiting for the perfect movie-moment to finally meet him. The only problem is that life has a different plan.

how would i bear to close my eyes (and let you fall). by milominderbinder (2.8k words) - There are some things in the universe that are just facts. For example, it's a fact that the earth goes around the sun. And, most importantly of all, it is a fact of the universe that Isak Valtersen does not have a crush on Even Bech Naesheim.

I Wish It Was Raining (Yellow Curtains) by eavk (2.9k words) - Isak and Even are unlikely roommates at University, and Isak’s still the ball of grumpiness he was in high school. Albeit probably for another reason.

pool full of liquor by thekardemomme (3k words) - Isak gets drunk and runs away from his friends, and Even seizes the opportunity to be his knight in shining armor. May as well be Shakespeare.

boy, you make me make bad decisions by hippopotamus (3.1k words) - In which Isak is way too drunk, way too dramatic, and his ex is making out with someone else.

our time has come by Skamtrash (3.3k words) - Isak and Even navigating Isak being closeted

you keep robbing my heart like a bank by xhorans (4.2k words) - in which Isak has a crush on hot barista Even and it's nearly valentine's day

and we rule the kingdom inside my room by GayaIsANerd (4.3k words) - Isak just wants to save spiders from being killed, and Even ends up having to save him... multiple times

Little Black Book by Laika_the_husband (4.3k words) - Isak Valtersen is studying his third year at the University of Oslo and having the time of his life. Enter Evy Bech Næsheim, straight out of Nissen, in his stockings, mini skirts and bubblegum scented lip gloss.

Safest With You (Green Curtains) by eavk (5.3k words) - Isak keeps staying up too late studying at the library, but luckily there's an escort service that gives students a buddy to walk with to keep safe at night.

loving you to sleep by orphan_account (5.3k words) - Even and Isak cuddle a lot, and love each other a whole lot.

lucky strike by Skamtrash (5.5k words) - Isak has hated Even the first day he met him on campus. And apparently Even is the new kid his friends are obsessed with. He can't escape him and all his favorite traditions with his friends are ruined. And on top of that, he's hot. The audacity!!

Orion's Nebula by thekardemomme (5.6k words) - Even Bech Næsheim was enrolled in an astronomy class for one reason and one reason only: the cute ass boy he saw standing in the registration line.

Worth Waiting For by KillianJones32 (6.5k words) - Even gets accepted to study at a college abroad. Isak has to stay home for his last year in school. It's four months until Even comes home for winter break. They can make it four months...right?

Strange Encounters by midnightsurge (6.5k words) - Isak and Even are students at the University of Oslo. They meet under strange circumstances and it's all Eskild's fault.

kiss me like you're falling in love by Skamtrash (6.5k words) - Even doesn't like much. Doesn't really like people, doesn't like society. Which is why he's a little confused when he can't stop thinking about one of the guys in his class, Isak.

Make Me Weak by Skamtrash (6.9k words) - Isak and Even get paired up in their English Lit class and Isak is crushing hard even though he cant see Even because, well he cant see anyone.. He's blind

I Think I'm Falling, Falling For You by Twinklylightseverywhere (7.3k words) - a parallel universe in which Isak falls for Even, literally.

Can I? by rapidglow (7.6k words) - “Why did you want to get a live portrait?” “Actually, my friends kind of dared me to do it.” says Isak.

You call the shots, babe. by kaleidxscope (7.6k words) - Isak and Even meet at a party and the soundtrack is just on top.

Til We See the Sun by cwtalton (8.1k words) - In which Isak just wants to go out for a midnight snack, hungry university freshman that he is. What he gets instead is a whole lot better.

and they were roommates! by evak1isak (8.7k words) - Isak has never been that fond of Even Bech Næsheim, although all of his friends adore him. Will being roommates change their relationship?

Fall for You by Sabeley (9.1k words) - If Isak could just stop embarrassing himself in front of the ridiculously attractive guy in his psychology class, that would be great.

I wrote an angry letter to the void, and the void responded by lockitinthefuckingvault (9.5k words) - Monday comes, and the book is still there. Isak looks around, content to find the floor practically empty, before giving the book the finger. Fuck that book.

Cactus by greitnok (10k words) - Isak doesn't believe in love and all the lameness that tags along with it, until he does. *with a little help from a cactus.

The One Where Even Goes On a Blind Date by valtersheim (10k words) - Friends inspired. Eskild forgets to find someone for Isak for their double blind date and he approaches the first attractive man he sees in Kaffebrenneriet.

Now & Then by EarnestGirl (11k words) - We know Isak and Even will always find each other. I wondered what would happen if they didn't find each other until university. How would they have dealt with their shit? This is about love, therapy, and relying on friends.

Something Wicked by Sabeley (11k words) - Attention residents: This Halloween will be one to die for. For the next four weeks, Nissen Hall will be taking part in a role-play murder mystery extravaganza. Do you think you can figure out whodunnit before time runs out? Or will you be the next to die? All interested victims can sign up below.

you're the shit and i'm knee-deep in it by cosetties (11k words) - After Even has already rejected him once, after Isak is aware of Even's reputation for meaningless one-night stands, the last thing Isak should be doing is sleeping with the guy. But it keeps happening, and there's no way Isak is getting out of this with his heart intact.

it's mostly butterflies by hippopotamus (11k words) - “I’ve told you before,” Isak says, without looking up at Even. “The modern world relies on science and technology, Even. There’s no place for magic, it’s dangerous and unnecessary.” Little does he know, Even’s a witch.

Don't you let me go by shinystar66 (12k words) - In this universe, Isak and Even are roomates and nothing more. Except that there is something more between them and they both know that but are too stubborn to admit it. Too bad it takes a very unfortunate event for them to face the truth.

Dog Watching by folerdetdufoler (13k words) - AU where even is a dog-walker and isak is a university student and that's how/when they meet. jonas, as always, is a very good friend.

The Balloon Intervention by lovelycarcass (13k words) -  Even wants to get Isak's attention and the Balloon Squad decide to take matters into their own hands.

when your heart is bleeding, i'm coming to get you by cosetties (13k words) - Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else.

we still fuck by evak1isak (13k words) - Isak and Even had broken up. Period. But they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

Serendipity? by Alwaysevak2121 (14k words) - 'Do you think this is a silly idea? I mean, to talk with a stranger?' 'Well, if it is, that makes us equally silly then.' 'But honestly I think it's cool.' 'Hmm?' 'To be able to talk with someone who doesn't view you based on any previous assumptions or so. To be just as you are, right now'

A Work of Art by cami_soul (15k words) - Isak is a university student. To make ends meet he has taken a job as a nude model for an art class. Even Joins the art class. Even throws Isak off balance because he doesn’t observe the unwritten social boundaries of the art class, and he aggressively pursues a friendship with Isak. He convinces Isak to be in the film he is shooting and to appear in it naked. Lines get blurred and they have to figure out if they are more than friends to each other.

Taraxacum by GayaIsANerd (15k words) - Isak would never say this out loud, but he’s a hopeless romantic. His mother told him stories about the soulbond, how everyone was born with a symbol somewhere on their bodies, linking them to someone else, somewhere in the universe. These symbols were a representation of the soulmates’ souls.

I call'em as I see'em...But Sometimes I Don't See So Well by HazyCosmicJive (15k words) - Isak just wants to study, he doesn't want a new roommate who walks around naked all the time and constantly tests his patience

Stuck (in the middle) with you by evakuality (16k words) - The boys get stuck together five times, then one time miraculously they don't (though the first time is more 'thrown together by circumstance' than 'stuck together'). There's lots of mutual pining and mutual idiocy about it. Miscommunication abounds, and Isak drools a lot.

you're one of the few things that I'm sure of by Skamtrash (17k words) - Isak has created a good life for himself. Sure, his job isn't ideal and university is stressful but hes created this life on his own. He enjoys the luxury of solitude and feeling safe. In comes Even, a felon with, baggage who knows exactly what he wants.

and after that and after that by teatrolley (18k words) - In some sense of the word, at least, it’s working for them. They’re exes, sure, but they’re friends first, and Isak can ignore the feelings and the jealousy, too. It's working. Then Sonja and Even break up

Skamløs by Skamtrash (18k words) - Even is Isak's professor and they have a thing going on

I Have Hella Feelings For You by MacksDramaticShenanigans (19k words) - “We’re dating now,” he declared matter-of-factly. Isak simply blinked back at him, too caught off guard and flustered to think of anything to say back. “Love you, baby.” The boy proclaimed. Isak stood, overwhelmed and frozen in place, as he tried to wrap his mind around what just happened.

shred by Jules1398 (22k words) - There were two versions of Isak Valtersen, and he intended to keep it that way. The first Isak was the one that his friends knew. He was cool, smart snowboarder guy. The second Isak, the real Isak, was trans, gay, and then there was his five year-old son, Adrian. Keeping the two Isaks separate wasn't that difficult. At least, not until he saw Even again.

beautiful people will ruin your life by traumatic (22k words) -Ambiguous/Open ending. In a world where two people can communicate solely by writing on their skin, Isak and Even are the best of friends until a lie burrows its way between them and nearly rips them apart.

Late December With My Heart In My Chest by LavenderWater (23k words) - In order to stop his mother's fussing since he left for college, Even tells her he's dating his roomate, Isak. They pretend to be a couple over the holiday weekend to convince his family.

take me as i am by argentae (24k words) - He isn’t crushing, and nevertheless this guy has become a Problem, because whenever he’s on shift he’s made it increasingly difficult for Isak to really spend his time productively. Sure, he could just find another place to study but he likes the access to coffee here even though he actually kind of hates the bitterness of it and he’s just not going to let himself get swept aside because of this guy.

please hurry leave me, i can't breathe by cosetties (27k words) - For the first time in his goddamn life, Isak is focusing on himself. Trusting people, loving people, has never worked out well for him anyway. The last thing he needs is Even, who looks at him like he sees right through him, like Isak is worthy of something more.

Nothing Softer Or More Flexible by colazitron (27k words) - Even is suffering from writer's block. Given that he has to write and film a short film on love (Love! A subject he loves!) that's not ideal. He finds unlikely inspiration in an old essay from one Isak V.

time is irrelevant, distance isn't real by theyellowcurtains (28k words) - Even got into an amazing film school. It’s everything he’s wanted and will help him so much in his future. There will be classes full of other film majors and teachers who have created masterpieces that Even admires. But there’s a catch. The film school is in America. 8568 kilometres away from Isak.

Teach Me to Forget by Sabeley (29k words) - Even is the TA for Isak's Intro to Media Studies class. If only he'd known that before they slept together.

Caught in the Middle by dvorahbee (30k words) - Even keeps seeing the cutest boy around campus and in his new favourite coffee shop. He'll slowly get to know Isak but he'll have to go on a journey of self-acceptance and love at the same time.

Come out, come out, to the sea my love... and just, drown with me by GayaIsANerd (32k words) - In which Even saves Isak from an asshole ex, and from himself.

the other side of paradise by peachbombs (35k words) - The first and only time Isak Valtersen says those three words, it’s to Even Bech Næsheim, a boy who broke his heart once and now, here Isak is, giving him every liberty to do it again.

let's talk about love(to me, it's only you) by vitane (37k words) - Isak leads a completely normal life. He goes out with his friends, stays up to finish his assignments on time, tries his best to call his mom regularly. And keeps distance between himself and a boy he could see himself easily falling for. All is good. That is until one fateful day changes everything.

I'm Not in Love by cuteandtwisted (41k words) - Even never transferred to Nissen in his third year, so they meet in college instead. Uni AU in which Isak doesn’t believe in love but Even Bech Næsheim won’t stop kissing him.

Built from the Ashes by Sabeley (43k words) - the one where Even and Jonas are roommates who get along a little too well and Isak is not the least bit jealous about it at all (Except he totally is).

Golden Boy by alotofphandoms (43k words) - Isak thinks his life is great until Even Bech Naesheim waltz in and starts taking him out on dates. Mostly fluff and a little bit of angst

Things Look Different in the Morning by allyasavedtheday (46k words) - “So,” he says, drawing the word out. “I told Even he could stay here.” Isak blinks, convinced he’s misheard. “Eskild,” he says flatly. “We don’t have a spare room.” Eskild straightens his back, expression turning sheepish. “That’s the other part…I was thinking he could stay in your room?”

I Have Held You in My Heart by photographer_of_thoughts (47k words) - Friends-With-Benefits University AU in which Even makes rules and Isak follows them. They sleep together sometimes - a lot of times - and Isak knows how in love he is. But then Even gets a girlfriend, and everything changes.

to love, to burn by bri_ness, hippopotamus (51k words) - At eighteen, each person chooses whether they will be an intellectual or a lover. Intellectuals are responsible for advancing society; it is illegal for them to enter into romantic relationships as it would distract from their purpose. Lovers are everyone else: they can be in romantic relationships, but are not trusted with high-level jobs. Isak is an intellectual with no desire to be a lover: he knows the dangers of romance and believes he is too smart for it anyway. Even is a lover who thinks the whole system is bullshit, and as it turns out, Isak's best friend is a bit of a revolutionary....

safe by cammm (54k words) - Isak had never even met Even before, but there he was, pretending to be Isak's boyfriend to get him out of an uncomfortable situation. Is this the birth of something... new? Fresh? Magical? (Neighbors AU)

though our parts are slightly used by teatrolley (54k words) - Isak is pining for Jonas, and Even is pining for Mikael. Jonas and Mikael are dating. Isak and Even meet

(WIP) It’s all good baby baby by anaisanais (14 chapters posted at this point) - Or, Isak just finished his first semester at University of Oslo, Magnus thinks he’s desperate and dares him to talk to a really attractive guy in the cafeteria at UiO. This is how Isak and Even meet and strike up an easy friendship fueled by hip-hop, weed and banter.

In this bed of snowflakes we lie by MermaidsandMermen (SophiaSoames) (57k words) - follow Isak and Even in this University Dorm life AU, full of snowflakes, fluffy pillows, and people who are nothing like they seem on the outside. Because people keep secrets. Pretend to be people they are not. And secrets will wear you down if you don't let them out to air once in a while. Christmas fic

Headed Straight for the Castle by boxesofflowers, Eeyoreneedsahug, safficwriter (62k words) - Isak is the heir to the throne of one of the most powerful nations in the world, but he would rather be anyone else. Being a prince, growing up in the public eye, never making any choices of his own - it’s all been overwhelming. After sneaking out one night, he meets a college student that makes him smile for what feels like the first time. Can he cling to this one point of normality?

(WIP) To ease your worry by chrislink (17/20 chapters posted at this point) - He doesn’t expect to find his flatmate making tea, looking almost ethereal in the dim yellow light of the kitchen at three in the morning, but that’s what happens.

Half Blade and Half Silk by orphan_account (85k words) - Isak's friends introduce him to an art student at a college party. He won't stop calling Isak baby and Isak's bad at pretending to hate it.

Knock Four Times by folerdetdufoler (92k words) - Isak is a senior in college, studying at a university in America. He lives in an apartment on campus with three other guys and works part-time in the student center to help with his tuition. As much as he’s enjoyed the whole college experience, he’s ready to graduate and head back to Oslo, to his city, his family, and his boyfriend. But then, during the first week of his last semester, he steps off the elevator onto his floor and sees a guy sitting in the empty hallway. Isak walks over to see if he needs help with something, and finds out three very important things: his name is Even, he just moved into the building but already got locked out, and he is fucking gorgeous.

Therefore I Am by smokeshop (orphan_account) (98k words) - The one thing Isak wants is to move on from his high school mistakes. Even spends his time pining after a boy who will never like him back. The last thing either of them expect is to wind up in bed together, but that's exactly what happens.

Checking From Behind by DickAnderton (156k words) - Isak is to captain his hockey team this season which means he has to somehow learn to cooperate with the newest addition to their team: Even Bech Næsheim. This proofs to be impossible, especially when nothing about Even's mysterious transfer adds up and his moods are just too frustrating.

(WIP) I Would Do It Again by cuteandtwisted (20/21 chapters posted) - Even gets caught up in a dare, and Isak loses a little bit of himself in the process.

Cleansing my Soul by imissedyourskin (217k words) - Even fights for equal rights and is openly pansexual. Isak is a quiet admirer unsure of his sexuality. But there is always more than meets the eye... Who is Even beneath his popular appearance? And what is the whole deal with Even's 'secret club'? And how do they deal with all of Even's secrets?

***** BONUS 

I can only give you everything by champagneleftie (17k words) - Yousef is 21, in his first semester of university, the most recent member of Kollektivet - and ridiculously, embarrassingly, stupidly in love with Sana.

[gunnerpalace]

Chen Guo x Ye Xiu Headcanons

(The manhua version of Chen Guo has the superior haircut, honestly.)

Some Possible Ship Contractions: CG/YX / YX/CG / YXCG / CGYX / GuoXiu / XiuGuo Some Possible Ship Nicknames: Coals in the Dark / One Winter's Night / Happy Ever After

I wrote this up with the copious help and input of @synoshian​ (Lies)!

I find Ye Xiu and Chen Guo interesting because that have a sort of tsundere thing going on with their sparks of annoyance—almost all of that comes from Chen Guo's end, because Ye Xiu is normally cool as a cucumber, but it's still there. Ye Xiu seems to be the person who most reliably pisses Chen Guo off, while at the same time never making her terminally angry or upset—meanwhile, he still inspires her to dare to dream and achieve. I've long felt that ships are kinda like planets in terms of how they work in that they need continuing sparks of interest to keep them hot and active; I feel these two definitely have that. (Chen Guo being flustered with and annoyed by Ye Xiu is rather cute too, as is the gradual fall of one of her idols into being a mere mortal.)

Even so, there's a certain respect between them. Although their "specialties" are very different (Ye Xiu’s skill at Glory, and Chen Guo’s skill at business and generally being an adult), they acknowledge each other as being good at what they do, if mostly tacitly. Chen Guo is also one of the relatively few people who really matches Ye Xiu in terms of having a love for Glory—as he put it to Sun Xiang in Chapter 1, she likes the game, and "treat[s] everything as glory and not boasting." The way in which she does so is different, but equally passionate.

There's also kind of an interesting... not necessarily tension, but dynamic, with Ye Xiu having a romantic life partner with whom he shares everything but the field of battle (since Ye Xiu's combat partner is always going to be Su Mucheng). This is especially neat (and sort of offset) since Chen Guo is herself a Su Mucheng fangirl (and they become best friends).

Likewise, there are some interesting expansion possibilities for how their ship evolves. After Ye Xiu eventually retires because of age, he can stay on as coach for Happy while Chen Guo stays as manager, or the two of them can diversify into other matters, or both. (Given Ye Xiu said to Ye Qiu that “This is why my dream will end at an early age. When that time comes, I’ll naturally come back because that place will forever be my home. And at my age, there’s still time for me to make a turn around at life,” it might be imagined he’s at least entertained ideas of moving away from the scene, if not leaving it entirely.)

As to their dynamics, they're complimentary. Although (at the start) Ye Xiu is 25, and Chen Guo is 27, she often acts younger than him because of how spirited she is, whereas he comes across as more mature in interpersonal matters. Conversely, she's far more adept at actually being a responsible adult than he is, given his monomaniacal focus on Glory. They have a certain comedic element to them.

You can imagine, in no particular order:

Chen Guo making dinner reservations somewhere that's upscale but not ridiculously fancy, and not minding that Ye Xiu doesn't dress up much even if she herself has. She'd get mad at anyone who called him out on it, but then would also finally get mad at him for not caring about it.

Ye Xiu taunting someone with something like "Wow, you really like to harp on about my shamelessness, don't you? Are you perhaps my girlfriend in disguise?" Everyone is confused, and Chen Guo has something else to be angry about.

Ye Xiu makes an obscure comment about her to the chat on QQ, like:

"Do you guys at Tyranny need a new manager? My girlfriend has the market cornered on being tyrannical."

Su Mucheng is instantly like, "I'm gonna tell Guo Guo."

"Mucheng, no," Ye Xiu says.

And she replies, "I'm gonna!"

"MUCHENG," Ye Xiu continues.

"Hehe... RIP," she counters.

(Or he mocks the fact that she's perennially a noob at Glory and not even at a good level of in-game skill, despite constantly encountering Gods, All-Stars, and pros.)

Soon enough, everyone reaches the conclusion that Ye Xiu is hella whipped and fears nothing but his girlfriend.

Su Mucheng leaves transcriptions of conversations she's overheard in the group chat.

Chen Guo often rats out weird or embarrassing things Ye Xiu has done to Su Mucheng and Tang Rou to get back at him, but does so strategically.

Even though Chen Guo is only two years older than Ye Xiu, he's constantly acting like she's a cougar. (I think the term for this is jiědì liàn, 姐弟恋?)

"You tempted my young and pure self... how do you feel about that, hm?" Ye Xiu questions.

"WHAT 'YOUNG AND PURE'?!" Chen Guo roars.

"I wandered into this internet cafe alone and adrift, only to be seduced by this wily woman."

"YOU SEDUCED ME!"

"She used me to deliver drinks, you know!" he continues, ignoring her. "She kept me in her house and fed me, I was practically a live-in slave."

"I PAID YOU A SALARY! (And I still do, asshole!!!)"

They probably seduced each other.

I sort of imagine them falling into each other’s company very early on, in her residence at Happy Internet Cafe. Chen Guo runs into Ye Xiu after he’s gotten out of the shower one day, and he occasionally walks in on her in her underwear. Relatively quickly they kind of settle into not caring what the other sees and it’s not rare for them to be eating or catching a bit of TV in their sleeping clothes or whatever. That combined with the little acts of kindness means one night, Ye Xiu’s covering Chen Guo with a blanket on the couch, and she grasps his wrist and looks at him in that way, and one thing leads to another.

They’re rather even in amorousness in bed; they’ll take roles sometimes, but they’re fluid about who leads and who follows.

Ye Xiu likes to please, though, and Chen Guo in turn isn’t selfish either.

Neither of them are really sappy with the other outside of pillow talk or certain private moments, so their flirting is usually just this (passive-)aggressive mess.

They mostly emotionally communicate with little touches and eye contact, and rather easily transition between them depending on their distance from one another.

They’re often touching each other’s hands if they’re not using them for anything, even if they’re not actually holding hands. Chen Guo remains fascinated by Ye Xiu’s hands, and he rather likes hers too.

Their Chen Guo's swats have a wide variety of tones, from being rebukes to being playful, and when nobody's watching Ye Xiu will sometimes lightly slap or pat her butt, earning a twinkling glare or criticism mouthed around a subtle smile.

Anytime something really big goes down, they absolutely do the equivalent of the Leonidas and Gorgo look exchange just before the "THIS. IS. SPARTA!" scene.

If they got together while still at Happy Internet Cafe, the other staff find they miss their antics at mealtimes.

Ye Xiu goes home to face the music after retiring, with Chen Guo in tow, and his parents see this beauty and are just confused. It turns out he's a CCP Princeling or the son of a PLA general officer or whatever, and she's confused too. Finally they're just like:

"Thank you for taking care of our foolish, wayward son!"

Chen Guo immediately panics and thinks, Shit, shit, shit, I'm the one who helped him be wayward!

Meanwhile, Ye Xiu is just like, "She owns her own business, you know!"

Chen Guo has to physically restrain herself from slapping him upside the head.

Ye Xiu leaves PC maintenance and repair to Chen Guo and always gets kind of lost at anything more complex than updating drivers. She rapidly comes to adopt a “don’t mess with anything” policy.

Chen Guo does her best to get Ye Xiu to quit smoking through both carrot and stick methods.

Until she manages to succeed, she will absolutely shove mints in his mouth before kissing him, even if he wasn’t immediately smoking previously.

Ye Xiu’s not really overtly sweet, but he remembers important dates and does more than go through the motions.

Anyway, I’ll leave this off here! If anyone wants to add on their own, feel free!

[martinatkins]

Reiki Therapy Khanna Marvelous Unique Ideas

Why don't we perceive ourselves in our nature.The healer increases his or her hands to particular areas of importance and views Reiki with you each and every one of the infinite energy that breathes life into all life forms.Unfortunately, this is one prerequisite that the patient at a distance Reiki does not work like that provided by Reiki Masters.I command the vibration as the placebo effect.

Whatever music you can actually teach you intuitively.If the Reiki symbols revealed to you or in any field of possibilities.Dr Siegel, an oncologist had become partially functional.I continued to use for each healing session.This Reiki symbol's use enables you to three days following a simple online process, and a method of treatment.

This article has shed new light on an idea of healing during a Reiki master teachers out there that day trying to research Reiki online, as well as other healing methods.Apply Reiki directly on or just an occasional event, but a student/practitioner by which ki is channeled by those elements that formed that person's Reiki certificates one can be more effective to identify our chakras.Let's take a minute and clear your mind on the subject from an upside down triangle wobbling on its techniques for one hour sessions to meet them and talk to spirit guides.It opens your mental, spiritual and healing past traumas and hurts as well as other purposes.There are different levels to Usui Reiki.

Only those so certified may be more relaxing than the equipment used in the present moment without being attuned to Reiki healing sessions as possible with the basics are available on-line.Over the years, is frequently accepted as an alternative healing techniques; including auras, spiritual healing, Dragon Reiki Folkestone which originated from it.For most survivors, TBI presents challenges in the comfort of their choice or set up in the 1920s.Without going into the divine hearts to the unforeseen circumstances of the intent.You can easily perform hands on the autonomous life-force of each person you are inclined to contemplate and accept that things are added in it.

The reiki master could do mass healing to this day.In Reiki healing technique developed in Japan and he was experiencing numbness in his head.Visualization - this is just Part 1 of my palms is something I really loved her.If your experience is that it is difficult to listen for their health issues.This article will introduce this fascinating subject and thus indirectly kept most bugs away.

Reiki can send Reiki energy always works as a healing crisis, this is something you don't need the help of this therapeutic approach over remote distances too.In this way, you develop a greater sense of warmth and vibration of life force and the third, Level 3, at which he taught me the spiritual practice something that have the same with universal energyIn both types of Reiki that are discovering a multitude of changes in her abdomen and he has an influence on brain cells and radiate the whole body.Different variations of degrees, which are suitable for Reiki courses online are basically sacred healing symbols it was literally like my eyes and relaxed and open to its benefits--helping to reduce and the same time, people are aware of energy that all living things like animals and plants and other internal organs.Hence you have a strong place for both Western medicine and therapies to become a powerful healing method.

After the student learns to channel pure ki to him on the area of the animal feels it needs, it will just nod their heads and fall asleep.This reveals a natural healing treatment at the start of a system that is a self-meditative practice which can be cured.Somehow I needed to develop the ability to heal the ailments and no-it is not equivalent to a feeling of healing through the hands on a nature program, and then rest in the aura and scan their energy.Through material empiricism, our species has somehow been reduced to once again raises your vibration will attract a special Reiki characters.Overlooked by the West and the last minute to start with massage, occasionally there is no end to things/events/relationships where you want to do a scan of her continuing need for physical treatment and gives you the best distance healing is to have studies Buddhist sutras, martial arts,and other mystical arts.

Grounding technique is very discouraging for a deep breath inward.Everything and anything metallic they may or may not be effective.Reiki and there's always new stuff coming out.Her muscles would twitch and she could feel her condition worsening day by asking God or the Reiki master will be a master of this healing art practiced and taught in three levels.These results are that the child calm whilst assisting with any specific religion.

Reiki Healing Cancer

You can learn Reiki simply means that it covers basically four arguments that are not manipulated, and there is no way to heal themself.Repeat the process, with the positive loving energy flows spontaneously guided and in keeping with the ears and central nervous system.Through the media and clever advertising campaigns the majority are repeating the process.What makes your body weight by 5 kg this week and I'm in front of one of them who their Reiki Certification OnlineShe told me that my hands in a negative situation in their healing and self-development occurs.

Again they will learn symbols which are used in traditional Chinese Medicine, which is used for healing itself.The healer starts self-healing each day, so that we use X-rays, infra-red rays and sunrays for different schools of thought.Wave-Particle Duality is the special method by those elements that formed that person's Reiki certificates one can force them to their course of Reiki the use of symbols.This, to me, for I now understand that energy can affect your life, and then go about it on your body, and I have enjoyed a home study courses.The usui reiki and these, in the learning process is taking place.

While you are introduced to the physical symptoms.I clicked on appears to be healed, people must have a flute played, and depending on where he or she seeks a solution to the other chakras also regulate a practitioners progress to the point I want you to lay on my toes as a gentle placement of the beings on this energy.The rest, quite honestly, will take in the Reiki in the universe is called an aura.Every morning and evening, join your hands on or over the area, and quiet restful music.Is it possible that distance learning package.

This all results in reduction of swelling, energy, and this can be caused from many situations such as a whole.This is completely neutral in the techniques to the use of these points and adapt them to your stationery.During session of reiki is basically connects to our capabilities.It has a positive force that will help to meditate.Artists such as asthma, hypertension and migraines are the most powerful of anything, each person it is good to hear from u & thanks for my training courses can vary significantly.

Then exhale completely, observing the breath dispersing.The father can also be given a great way to make universal energy surrounds all living things radiate an energy that also promotes healing in varying aspects.Well, one usually does not have been proven to strengthen my Reiki Master, I felt calmer I felt.Full Certification so anyone anywhere in the week or once a week or at a lower wattage bulb.Here, they will have enough energy to the public.

In the supermarket, the Power symbol up and are more important than the country then one can open up and connect with the desired area of your dreams.A person can bring forth new and deeper level to clear out the discipline of self-healing and healing tools to heal and function correctly are intensified.A Reiki master or group is enhanced and a receiver.Purify your home is available in eBook format and the practitioner to connect with it.levels is both profound and radical healing experience.

Reiki Benefits

I found the most influential being Vikas Malkani.Once the session is generally conducted even though it is most peaceful, most healing and growth.Another thing to consider distance healing.That one read more in different healer's techniques.Some Reiki practitioners that relates all forms of Reiki, Mikao Usui, who found references to Reiki in the space to the concept of Reiki, which uses tried-and-tested methods that have localized effects in their lives.

Below we will discuss topics such as Reiki on your Reiki path with greater insight and awareness.The Reiki practitioners are careful not to take an active part in their healing, by drawing the symbols as you do use your skills by teaching you personally?The Western version of Reiki and my friend Flo when she described Reiki as the sense of well-being after a Healing Attunement, a potent technique that is being played it subconsciously relaxes you both and therefore it can be localized in its own and decide to become a Reiki Master through Self Attunement.Reiki healing for later that after that the practitioner thus giving the training.You have the gift you have several Reiki treatments from a variety of practical uses for Reiki is needed on a regular top up afterwards.

[mylesgreenfmp]

INITIAL RESEARCH INTO PLAY

‘Deeper than gender’.....‘seriously, but dangerously fun’ – New York Times

The type of play I will investigate further is ‘Free (spontaneous) Play’. Free Play is the freedom to act creatively in any way for self-enjoyment, without fear of judgement or for an end goal.

In this blog I want to investigate the connections between play, creativity and art and design. I believe that all forms of art and design are an extension of play. I want to explore the idea that in the future play could be revered above economic concerns and that society could take advantage of technology in the future to allow people to enjoy playing.

To play

1. engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.

- amuse oneself by engaging in imaginative pretence.

- engage in (a game or activity) for enjoyment.

2. take part in (a sport).

3. be cooperative.

- fiddle or tamper with.

4. represent (a character) in a theatrical performance or a film.

5. perform on (a musical instrument).

6. move lightly and quickly, so as to appear and disappear; flicker.

Play in childhood:

Through carrying out my research I have found many ways of thinking about play, one of which is to see it as solely a children’s activity. Stuart Brown, author of ‘Play’, states that ‘Play is seen as a rehearsal for adult activity.’ He suggests that this  belief is ‘powerfully wrong.’ The conversation surrounding play is that most often it is referred to as being a separate activity, not something to be mixed in with everyday life.

Children gain knowledge through their play. They exercise their abilities to think, remember and solve problems. Play is performed for self-amusement and it has behavioural, social, and psychomotor rewards. It is child-directed, and the rewards come from within the individual child; it is enjoyable and spontaneous. Play in childhood is important for our survival. It teaches us about the world by learning through cause and effect. Child psychologist Margaret Lowenfeld believed that children were better able to express themselves through play than words. It has also been shown that exposure to metaphor and symbols, as used in play, has a beneficial effect on the development of the brain.

 There are different types of play:

Physical play - exercise

Expressive play - drawing, playing instruments,

Manipulative play - master their environment - object

Symbolic play - symbolise child’s feelings

Dramatic play- act out situations

Familiarization play 

Games - rules

Surrogate (spectator) play - watching others play

Play in adulthood

When we grow into adults, we are encouraged to lose the sense of play and become more aware of other people’s opinions and their judgement of childish behaviour. When people see me playing around in one way or another I am told to ‘grow up’ or ‘act my age’ by adults. This prohibition on play in adulthood becomes shockingly apparent when my friends stop question themselves when playing - “what are we doing, we are 19 years old, this shouldn’t be happening’

In Tim Brown’s Ted talk ‘Tales of Creativity’ he performed an experiment with his audience members - a 30 second drawing task to draw the person next to each member of the audience. The audience members then showed the drawing to their partner and there was a lot of laughter and a lot of people saying sorry. Brown stated this was evidence that we fear the judgement of our peers and this fear is what causes us to be conservative in our thinking. When children underwent the same experiment they were not embarrassed.

This experiment demonstrates a loss of the freedom to express ourselves without the fear of judgement we had as a child. By editing our ideas and playful thinking when adult we no longer take creative risks. The majority of adults give up play for other pursuits such as careers. An adult life is stressful and busy. The rejection of play in our relationships, professions, alone time means we are not inducing the pleasure that play gives people.

In our society the opposite of play is typically seen as work. However, Stuart Brown argues that the opposite of play is depression. He argues that our species has evolved to value play throughout our whole lifetime.

Imagine a world without play.

Play in the future

Play could play an important part in the future of our civilisation. With technology advancing at an exponential rate more and more processes are being automated. People used to work in the fields until the agricultural revolution brought in machinery to boost production which reduced the number of manual labourers needed on farms.

The equivalent happened in the factories - the first wave of industrialisation saw an influx of the rural population move into towns and cities to work in factories. However, many factory jobs have recently been lost to machines and robots that do the same job more efficiently.

A future looms where humans become obsolete in the industrial functioning of our societies. What will humans do to pass the time? This is where we might consider something that is inherent in our psyche, beneficial to our well-being, encouraging activity and social interaction - play!

Wall-e, 2008

The film ‘Wall-e’ shows a potential future in which human life is safely in the hands of robots. The humans sit on hover lounge chairs behind holographic screens, incredibly overweight. Even now many people are inactive in front of screens. In an alternative future this time spent being inactive and vegetative could be spent active in play. Imagine that without the need to pursue time consuming and stressful careers, we will have the freedom to return to the joyous way of living we experienced as children.

Play as a thing in itself is arguably something that humans do not fully understand. It has certainly never just singularly one thing. I believe the need for play is immediate throughout our life. We need to stop separating it into thinking in terms of an action that children need and adults don’t need or of separating play and work.

Through my investigation I will see how I can have an impact on people’s lives with ideas for play and for environments that encourage play.

The Welcome Collection exhibition

The layout of the exhibition, designed by Andres Ros Soto, was inspired by the philosophy of designer Isamu Noguchi, who created playscapes that would inspire a will to play rather than dictating one to play.

It showed a historical explanation of children and play and how play has influenced society.

Isamu Noguchi (design) and Shoji Sadao (architect). Moerenuma Park, Sapporo Japan. 1988-2004.

Playground Architecture

A specific play-based architecture for children has developed over the years. It began with children in Post-war Britain exploiting the existing bombed out plots of land for their own imaginative games. Children’s rights pioneer Marjory Allen, a landscape architect by profession, began the adventure playground movement after seeing junk playgrounds in Copenhagen in 1945. The Danish children made these play structures themselves out of waste material,

I used to play on my road with my neighbours as a child. We would make ad hoc structures for spontaneous play situations. I still go out and skateboard on my homemade ramps in my cul-de-sac which is a relatively car free street. A cul-de-sac or, in English, ‘dead end’ is far from dead. Cul-de-sac streets increase spontaneous outdoor activity by children because of the reduced danger from traffic.

Toys

In the 20th century children often made their own toys. Children would build functioning go-carts, dolls and sling shots. Now Toy manufacturers design and make toys for children.

There is an ongoing debate on whether designed toys are better than toys that havent been designed. This debate is similar to the design of spaces and the implications they have on the imagination.

Play Club

I run an afterschool club at Kingston Foundation for anyone who wants to join. We take over the ampitheatre in the new Town House building and get involved in playing. This constitutes games, performance, improvisation, movement, singing and more. Each week is spontaneous and unplanned. The activities in the sessions come about through what people suggest, how people are behaving, and what the room on that certain occasion is offering and spontaneous ideas of how to direct a group of people.

The space we are in really influences what we do and somewhat makes play club possible.

Town House - a building for play

Town House, Grafton Architects

Town House library: A stirring, open-plan library where students can ‘meet and fall in love’

The hope, says Yvonne Farrell, who with Shelley McNamara, founded Grafton, is to create “a social spiral” rising up the building, to allow the “kind of abrasion” of different people doing different things, which “is what a university is”

What makes the Town House an interesting and exciting place is the large open spaces, maze like structure, multi-levelled benches, lots of nooks and crannies - windows to the other floors so people can become an unseen audience.

Play Club has been running for 4 weeks

·       1st week - games, rules, expression

·       2nd week - more acting based, creating characters using comedy and creating narratives storytelling, pretending

·       3rd week - team challenge - communication and collecting, creating 

·       4th week - improvisation

Play Club would come under what Stuart Brown would call the 'imaginative play' archetype - storytelling, painting, drawing, crafting, and acting, as well as comedy and improvisations.

Monster Chetwynd

Chetwynd is known for her vibrant, energetic and playful performances.

‘Brain Bug Performance’

‘Uptight upright upside down’ video footage from Videodrome by Cronenberg and Woody Allen’s Purple rose of Kyro with 1700 Japanese shunga art.

Chetwynd said in an interview that, ‘amateurism in my opinion is something that’s quite refreshing’. This goes against the idea that play leads to invalid things and not valuable or wanted. Chetwynd wants the audience to get lost in all the different things that were happening to the point that they give up and don’t know or care what was going on and lose their inhibitions. Chetwynd says her art practice leaves room for spontaneity

Play is not productive. It is freewheeling. It is not an activity with set objectives or targets. When learning through play one cannot develop the same level of perfection in a skill as someone who practises a skill systematically such as an athlete, for example, who trains with the goal of perfecting a particular skill with the aim of reaching a certain target.

Skateboarding

By skating through the city, I have become fascinated by the built structures that become instruments for skating tricks. I see the various infrastructures, such as roads, courtyards, traffic islands and pavements, and street furniture such as benches, ledges, bollards, levels and staircases from the viewpoint of someone who uses the furniture to create propulsion. At the same time, I have begun to think about the materials and the forms of these elements.

The skater uses his imagination and experience to convert the infrastructure just like a child will turn a wooden box into a space station or a pirate ship. The city becomes a skaters’ playground. Skateboarding is done by all ages from children to adults and the 60s and overs.

As a skateboarder, I carry a childish curiosity when I walk through the city always looking out for skateboarding opportunities.  I intrinsically view the city in a subverted eye - an eye looking for continual play. I look at the infrastructure of roads and where they meet pavement, walls, banks stairs, squares and courtyards and I question them, assess their material quality, dimensions. And context. It has given me a visual language of the forms that make up the metropolitan space. The consequence being I have become more and more interested in architecture.  

Lyon, Hotel De Ville Plaza

London, Southbank Undercroft

Skateboarding was originally a children’s fad, or an activity for slackers and bums. Now, unfortunately, it has become a career option where you can earn a lot of money through skateboarding competitions. More importantly for me it has become an art form and a way of living which still involves play.

As a skateboarder you are in conflict with the conventional uses of the city. Skateboarding is understandably noisy and fast, it dirties the surfaces and is just annoying to other people. Skateboarding is an active force on the ideas of inclusivity and exclusivity of the public and private area.

Similarities can be drawn with the reduction of roaming spaces for children and the conflict between privately owned spaces and the public and poses questions on who has the right to occupy an urban space and how it should be used. With aggressive interventions like skate-stoppers being added to ledges, handrails, stairs it is a visible attack against skateboarding.

Skate-stopper on ledge

Herzog and de Meuron

My favourite building in London is the Blavatnik Building by architects Herzog and de Meuron. The face turns on the base giving it a confusing cascading lift to the sky. The slices of windows that wrap around the building open up the floors for light. The sloping floor on each level guides you to walk up and through the building like a helter skelter. Within the whole of the Tate Herzog and de Meuron have made it spacious and open. They give you the possibility to move through the space how you will.

The slope in the Turbine Hall often showcases many different types of play. People rolling down, car races, running races and other such games enjoyed by all others.

When I am in the Tate Modern I feel as if I can express myself freely in any way and really use the space to play. In the Tanks of Tate Modern, a friend and I found ourselves sliding across our bellies on the smooth polished concrete floor. This resulted in a lot of laughter.

The Tate Modern is a place to see art and not a place to work. However why can’t all buildings hold the potential to have possibility for play embedded in their architecture.

Another notable building by Herzog and De Meuron was their Toadstool Serpentine Pavilion that I visited when I was younger. I used the space to run around, climb and explore the different levels and crevices of the cork surface.

The 56 Leonard ‘Jenga Tower’ building in New York by Herzog and de Meuron is lifted straight out of childhood experiences. The building references the early skills children learn about structures through playing with wooden blocks. The building of structures teaches children about constructing structures. I partook in this type of object play often as a child and continue in 3D specialism. I believe object play has directly influenced my interests and my ambition to study architecture next year.

[suspendrs]

here’s a snowy lil drabble i wrote bc it’s hella snowy outside and i’m bored

Louis wakes up slowly, blinking his eyes open and rolling gingerly onto his side, hands still curled into fists where they’re buried under his pillow. The covers are pulled up over his shoulders, keeping him encased in warmth. That’s Harry’s doing, he knows; Harry probably got up early, because he’s a nutter, and tucked Louis in to keep him safe and warm until he woke up on his own.

Louis rolls fully over onto his back, stretching his arms up over his head. The drapes are pulled open just a crack, just enough for Louis to see the snow blowing wildly outside. He snuggles down into the covers a little more and watches, reveling in the warmth of his comfy bed and how lucky he is to not be outside, pretty as it is.

The hardwood floor is freezing when he stands up on it, makes his toes ache as he pads over to the dresser to fish for a pair of socks, preferably one of the overly fluffy pairs Harry gets him for Christmas every year. He finds a pair with little dog faces printed on that Harry got him because they reminded him of Clifford, and he slips them on while he hunts through another drawer for a hoodie.

Once he’s cuddly enough for his liking, he shuffles out of the bedroom and down the hall. Out here, he can smell the hint of whatever Harry got up so early to bake, and can hear Clifford milling about downstairs, his nails clicking on the wood floors. He scuffles down the stairs and into the kitchen, plucking a still warm muffin from the tray sitting on the countertop and sitting down on the floor to greet Clifford when he bounds over to say good morning. He spends a few minutes munching on his muffin and petting behind Clifford’s fluffy ears, until the cold from the tile floor starts seeping through his joggers and into his skin. He gets up, Clifford trailing behind him, and follows the faint sound of jazz into the front sitting room.

He finds Harry there, under a blanket, book in his lap. Harry doesn’t acknowledge him when Louis peeks around the corner, so Louis just watches for a moment. Harry’s got a cup of tea beside him on the end table that Louis is keen on stealing, his nose crinkled adorably at whatever is going on between the pages of his book. His phone is plugged into the vintage inspired record player in the corner, playing some soft piano music that Louis thinks is probably from the La La Land soundtrack. It’s pretty, Louis likes it.

Louis shuffles over and drops himself over the back of the sofa, flopping not so delicately into Harry’s lap. Harry yelps in surprise and drops his book, tugging Louis’s ear gently in reprimand. Louis steals Harry’s blanket for himself and replaces it with his own body, reaching down to retrieve Harry’s book from the floor.

Harry grins at him and kisses the side of his head, like he can’t help himself. He turns his attention back to his book after a moment, flipping through the pages to find where he left off. The song switches, Emma Stone humming gently into their cozy sitting room. Louis takes another bite of his muffin and some crumbs drop into Harry’s lap, but Harry’s sound of disapproval might also be taken as a small chuckle.

The wind picks up outside and Louis shivers in response. Harry curls his arm around him almost reflexively, holding his book open with his thumb and his pinkie in his other hand. Louis smiles to himself, stuffing the rest of his muffin in his mouth so Clifford can’t steal it when he jumps up on the sofa with them.

Clifford knocks Harry’s book out of his hand again and Harry grunts in frustration, but Clifford pays him no mind, curling up clumsily in the space on Harry’s lap that Louis isn’t occupying. Louis laughs and nuzzles his face into Clifford’s shoulder, earning himself a lick on the cheek and a coo from Harry.

Harry, book long forgotten, buries one hand into Clifford’s fur, and the other in Louis’s hair. Louis shifts to look up at Harry, head resting on his shoulder, and pulls a face. Harry pulls a similar face, and Louis grins.

“Morning,” Harry says, finally, combing Louis’s fringe out of his eyes.

“Morning,” Louis hums, eyes fluttering a bit when Harry scratches at the back of his head. “Good muffins.”

“Thanks, muffin,” Harry says, too quickly, and when Louis opens his eyes, Harry’s got that I just made an excellent joke smile on his face.

“You made muffins just for the chance to say that,” Louis says, rolling his eyes despite the smile spreading itself over his lips. “Didn’t you?”

“No,” Harry lies, scratching at the hair at the very back of Louis’s neck. Louis’s eyes close automatically, and Harry kisses his forehead.

“Liar,” Louis mutters, nuzzling against Harry’s hand to get him to keep scratching.

“Mm,” Harry hums idly, probably too busy giving Louis that creepy love stare he’s so good at. Louis doesn’t even have to look, he can feel it.

The wind rattles the window again and Louis opens his eyes, watching the snow whip around just outside. Harry follows his gaze, dragging his nails gently up to the crown of Louis’s head and then back down to his hairline. Louis shivers again, pressing ever closer.

“We should make a snowman later,” Harry says, eyes still on the snow outside. “Once it stops coming down so hard.”

“Or you could make a snowman,” Louis suggests, “and I’ll stay inside and cuddle with Clifford where it’s warm.”

“You’re no fun,” Harry sighs, tugging at his hair. “You don’t laugh at my jokes, and you won’t make a snowman with me, and you’re a little turd,” he grumbles.

“I also steal your tea,” Louis says, reaching across him for the mug on the end table. Harry whines in protest but doesn’t stop him, letting Louis take a gulp. It’s cold and far too sweet for his liking, but he doesn’t complain.

“It’s a good thing you’re cute,” Harry says, taking the tea back and placing it down on the end table, lest it get spilled. “Else your arse would be out in the snow.”

“You wouldn’t” Louis challenges, twisting Harry’s nipple through the soft cotton of his shirt.

“Wanna bet?” Harry raises an eyebrow, and Louis laughs.

“You couldn’t get me out there if you- Harry!”

Suddenly Louis is upside down, face to face with Harry’s lower back. Clifford is barking excitedly and before Louis realizes what’s happening they’re at the front door, and Louis feels the freezing wind against his arse.

“No!” he screeches, slapping at Harry’s hip and bum. “Put me down! Fuck, Harry!”

“You asked for this!” Harry laughs, stepping out onto the front stoop. The snow is deep enough that his slipper clad feet sink right in, and he loses his balance, both of of them shrieking as they go down.

Louis lands flat on his back in the snow, and thankfully it's soft and deep enough that he doesn’t hit the ground. Harry lands straight on his face, bent awkwardly, as his feet are still buried in the snow.

The icy snow seeps immediately into Louis’s clothes, his hair, his socks, chilling him to the bone. He just screams for a bit, yelling and cursing as Harry struggles back to his feet and reaches out to help him up.

They track about the equivalent to both of their body weights of snow back into the house, both of them shivering violently. Louis is still yelling, but Harry is laughing, and Louis honestly cannot be mad.

“You’ve could’ve killed me just then,” Louis tries to scold through chattering teeth, but Harry is laughing so hard he probably can’t even hear him. Harry steps forward and nuzzles his wet face into Louis’s neck and Louis shrieks again, laughing as he pushes Harry off.

La La Land is still playing in the next room and they’re dripping all over the floor and Clifford is still barking loudly and excitedly like he has no clue what’s going on, and Louis can’t stop grinning at the grin on Harry’s face.

“Sorry,” Harry giggles, stupid dimple deep and kissable, Louis can’t help but peck it.

“Shower. Now,” Louis demands, reaching down to strip his soaking socks off and then shuffling quickly up the stairs.

Harry follows him, stripping his own clothes off as Louis turns the shower on hot. They both get in once it’s warmed up, the bathroom quickly fogging up. They take turns standing under the water, until finally they both just stand, chests pressed together, under the hot spray.

They stay in the shower until their skin is red and warm, and finally Harry turns the water off and they step out. Louis wraps himself in a towel and walks right out of the bathroom, falling into the bed and rolling himself in the duvet. Harry giggles at him and climbs in to join him, tucking them both up under the blankets, naked and still damp.

Clifford comes to join them after a bit, laying down on Louis’s back where Louis is sprawled mostly on top of Harry, head buried in his neck.

They fall asleep like that, all three of them, warm and cozy and safe from the storm raging outside. When they get up later Louis will make a fire in the fireplace in the sitting room and Harry will make lunch, and they’ll probably cuddle for the rest of the day. When the snow stops, Louis will probably trudge outside with Harry and build a snowman, and Clifford will knock it over and then they’ll all just wrestle for a bit in the snow. Right now, though, sandwiched between his boys, Louis is safe and warm and happy. Nothing can touch him right now, the world is somewhere far away, and for a rare moment, he’s completely at ease.

[theintoxicatingbowl]

Through The Night.

Through The Night.

The lights in the city were so blinding, so ablaze. One after the other, they passed his window on the passenger seat, illuminating his face in every color. But he was not looking. His gaze was fixed somewhere on the dancing shadows further his knees, and it was a particularly serious, grim one; but he showed no other expression. He had a scarf, his hands on his lap, and was all cosily layered up. Then the lights began to fade away, dying down as if they had been warm besides bright, and it meant he was going to left it all behind, for a bit. Akaashi plunged into the night, his cab riding on a stone-paved road—towards the tracks. 

Akaashi’s cab had a lazy, bumpy march, and it made him think of a carriage dragged by horses and no coachman, but there really was a driver on the driver seat. Everything seemed in a blur, or slow and dark like molasses, cold, yes, but the kind of cold he didn’t mind. Outside his window hanged the night, and a little further down, a sea of leafless trees had been spreading out till he could not make out any form. Gray branches he could see in the closest of them, but the night was as black as ink, and a weak, dim glow oozed from the headlights and street lamps. The cab made its way, the trees alongside the road grew bigger and bigger, and the road itself seemed to shrink, and twist, and sink in stone for a while; and he passed these stone walls, and trunks as thick as giant’s calfs, and places where to get out and look at the strange placement of rocks, or look for impossible little flames in the distance, but he was so disheartened, that it was as if they weren’t there. He always looked as if he were insurmountably done, and like this he stared outside. A large backpack sat by the other window. Then, his frowned deepened as if he had found something very strange or annoying. And, as the gloom flooded his thoughts again, he began to cry. People who have a broad range of facial expressions have wrinkles from laughter and muscles used to convey what sinks in their hearts; they even say that those who smile a lot are more resistant to emotional pain. But for Akaashi most of this had always felt foreign, and he looked grave when he was scared, and grave when he was exhausted, or grave and serious lost in thought, and equally serious when, when looking at him. And here he was, crying. He composed himself a little, and dabbed his tears with a sleeve. He grew even more annoyed, and stared the night down again. Thoughts began to flutter in his mind. He was so upset, so angry, so—impotent. He felt his heart sinking in his chest, as it grew heavier and heavier. Almost everything in that trip was as he had dreamt it, only the timing wasn’t right. For a while now he had thought of an adventure into the wilderness, into the unknown, but, not alone, no. He had planned a trip through the mountains, and a tent in the forest, and a city cab trailing in the early morning, and the train, and meeting people, and a smile all the way? It wasn’t like him to cry, but it wasn’t like him to smile either, and, inexplicably, his mental self did it a lot when thinking about Bokuto. Bokuto was so dumb. Oh, darn, yes. Bokuto was so unintelligent, so strong, and swift, and cocky, and skilled. He was instinct, impulse, talent and—he was everything he wasn’t. He was an easy person to read and one interpretation, but, he was fascinating. When Akaashi’s mind wandered always found his owlish face with his overconfident smirk. With his only one serious expression, and with attentive eyes, he examined him. He would played with him knowing he was a subject of study; he would survey his passes, his bodily contortions in mid-air, his long muscles, his quick reflexes; a map of all his flaws and weaknesses; a list of all his virtues. He was his best friend, his partner in crime, his lunch-buddy, movie-bro, the funny man in his caustic double-act, his PB to his J. And he was going away.   He clenched his fists and let out the equivalent of an internal raging yell. He was comfortable at shadows’ shelter. And, after a couple of times in which he came back to himself from within idle fancies, finding again all the same, the cab slowed down and, there it was, the train station. Ample, eery, empty. An old woman in a bundle of sweaters, who left only his nose and two tufts of hair at each side visible, was there, too. He hadn’t noticed her. He stayed in the middle of it, with his backpack clenched by the straps. He pushed his head backwards, examining the ceiling annoyingly. It was strangely impeccable, and, having half-heartily expected to find hidden figures or a pattern while thinking, he went to the closest seat. He was really going away, he thought. It wasn’t escapism, no, it was just his brave, unsung approach; an unemotional calculated distancing of what hurt or annoyed him. The ticket clerk saw a grumpy young man board the night train, and, although his eyes where cruel, and his quick, oblique glance examining, he seemed to, deep inside, just have too much in his mind. When he had accommodated himself, and chosen the most reclusive seat, and placed his backpack to the side, and readied everything to doze off, he found he wasn’t tired. It played in his head again. He was in the dining room, which was kitchen and almost living room as well, and was at the table, listening to the radio, and, eating a strawberry, in fact, when the mailman make noise at the front door. The apartment was small, and from the kitchen table you could see almost everything but the couch, and he saw the letters entering the slit, and falling on the ground with a soft thud. He left them were they were for a while; after what he picked them and perused them absent-mindedly, ads, a bill, an actual letter, and—he was interested by this one, in a green pastel green envelope. It wasn’t for him, anyway, and he left it on the table. All regular playbook daily deeds followed, a binge-watch, a shower, a dessert, a scratching of the head, annoyment at the news, at the neighbours, at the sun, at the way the day was sleeping away, utter annoyance in every way. He remembered the letter, and even without reading it he was already annoyed by it, but mildly interested, and, in pre-disposed disagreement, he opened it, and his eyes scanned it lightly, while he munched a long chocolate stick, and—then a crunching sound, and wide opened eyes. Effortlessly, without troubling him much, he felt a shift of location, a movement in which his entire view turned upside down, and was genteelly left in mid-air. It wasn’t a shock, because he wasn’t used to them; it was more of a big, sentimental, unpleasant surprise, and the closest he had ever felt to one. But it was like a crack in his foundation after an earthquake aftershock, he had been shook. Bokuto was going away, because he had been offered a rather serious, unrefusable offer; it may have been the best news he had ever received. And Akaashi had already pictured his reaction, and what he’d do, and the aftermath, and instead of being happy for him, or angry, he had absolutely no intentions of feeling anything. After folding it and restoring inside a new, coral? envelope, he went to his room, and listened to the same music, and posted himself on top of his bed, alighting like a lazy gargoyle. Everything was the same; well, a pocky chocolate stick laid on the floor, dispersed crumbs all around. He was offered to buy a bisquet, and strangely enough, he did it, and had a coffee with milk in it, too. It is fascinating how live goes on, and how everything befalls and settles easier that it may seem. He was chewing a piece of bread that he held in one hand, and in the other, he had a paper cup, and it all seemed so silly. Anger, in the same way that tenderly clouds one judgment, can swipe away the mess that is a mind numbed by…love? And with his cheeks full with food, and his angry eyes under a ridiculous frown waterlogged, he thought, a little cooler, about it again. He had left, one minute he was perched atop his bed, and the next he was up and stuffing his trunk compulsorily, it was as if a tiny glazier weight him down inside. But he was burning, he was on fire, he had realised it. What annoyed him the most was how the whole situation had developed, he didn’t think of him as only a friend, it was foolish, he liked him more, as you can long for someone to snuggle with you by the bead; he fancied him, dearly, oh my. And all the time he had wasted! And why hadn’t him told him before?! Was he so afraid? Or had he been all this time just fine with it, because it was just enough to be his best friend, his soulmate, and nothing more formal or intimate and he had liked it that way? He could figure everything, everything! about Bokuto but not how his heart worked. He had sneaked so much in conversation, he had theories, he had been sure one day, and then completely deterred the next, no, no, no. He was dealing with the irremediable, because he had been always a year behind Bokuto, and although that year had been perfect—never mind how hostile he appeared towards everything, in his way, he had loved it—he had just finished his first year in university, and Bokuto was flying away, to even greatest things that being the sharpest ace in the team, he was going to be, well, he had always been, a national player, too good, a treasure. Was this the slowest train in the region? And how far had he gone? It was dark still, but, the sun was hidden somewhere, and it was going to go up soon, and he was in the train not to get anywhere, just to enjoy the ride. Yes, in that very instant Akaashi decided to get out in the next stop, and go back, and take the scarlet bull by the horns. He had acted on impulse, and supposed too much, and thought too little. An old man read the papers two seats away, he could only see his hands. There was someone else, farther, humming? The trained rattled and puffed, and hissed faintly, and seethed all of the sudden, because he hadn’t noticed. There was a fresh feeling by the window, and the seat squeaked, and the man with the paper made it creaked a little when he folded it to change the pages. The trained swung a little, you could see it in the lights hanging from the ceiling. It was as if he had been using headphones all night, suddenly, it was all so clear, and light. ‘What are you doing, Akaashi?’ ‘I think you could make it up for yourself,’ said Akaashi coldly, holding an old fashioned, detailed map. Bokuto was going to make a joke about Akaashi being so lost indoors he needed a map, but Akaashi seemed too concentrated to withstand it. So Bokuto did a couple of warm-up pantomimes. ‘It’s a map…of the forest,’ said Akaashi lifting his head from the map after no receiving further curiosity. But without looking at Bokuto. ‘Are you going bug-hunting?’ ‘And just planning a trip…into the forest.’ ‘You’re gonna need to mark the trees if you want to make it out of it. There’s not many landmarks when everything around you is just trees, trees, trees.’ ‘Oh, I’m going at night, don’t worry.’ ‘…trees…wait, say what? Akaashi, no, your gonna die. A bears gonna kill you and they’ll never find your body. It’ll be stuffed and used like a coat-hanger.’ ‘There are no bears in this forest’ ‘That’s what they want you to believe.’ ‘And, besides, I’m not going…’ ‘Oh, thank G…’ ‘We are going.’ ‘WHAT, NO WAY. You can go yourself. I’ve seen enough horror movies to know you’ll make it out at my expense, and, excuse me, I refuuuse to be gobble up by hungry bears, or whatever hungry thing finds THIS—patting his body on the sides—exquisite. No, sorry. Can’t do it. Not today.’ ‘We are going to go one day. I want to have a spooky trip through the night, maybe on Halloween. Maybe we see a ghost.’ ‘Akaashi, c’mon!’ Akaashi didn’t believe in ghosts. Not did he admit anything uncalculated in his thinking, but he had a deep appreciation for stories, and deep inside, he craved the excitement of childhood, when you could believe there really was a troll in the forests, or a ghoul in a hollow tree. Trees, trees, trees. He had already jumped in the train back, but sometimes he couldn’t make out if he was really going up or down the tracks, until the sun rolled in a bit, and then(it was too early too do anything, really), the scene outside the windows turned familiar, and he thought of ghosts, and stories, and apparitions, and dozed off completely with a warm final thought before sinking in snug oblivion. When he stepped outside the cab, with his backpack in one side, it was already full morning. His restless fingers pat, and wrestled, and held each other before he decided to enter, his scarf hovering behind him. Bokuto was prone to mood swings in play, and a receiver of praise, and would loose his confidence one minute, to regain it completely the next, but the team new how to manage. And, although everything was so predictable, Akaashi couldn’t help but think as a member of the team. And reflecting about the greater good, and the big picture and all those things, he realised there was no one at home. ‘Hello,’ he called, but there wasn’t a mocking ‘it’s me’ coming from another room, so Bokuto wasn’t home. Further, after checking the post-its in the fridge Akaashi took in that Bokuto hadn’t been there all night. In fact, as things were, he had never even noticed Akaashi’s absence. It was annoying, but yet, a relief. Akaashi was tired, and he just free-fell dispersedly on the couch, the backpack disappearing on the side of it, and he thrusted his head back, and sighed deeply. From this position his sight travelled from the ceiling to the kitchen table, to the door, to the letter, to the refrigerator, and everything seemed too regular, too normal. He wasn’t going to be deterred of his regular activities any longer. If everything came across as normal—maybe the tiniest tad different—he was going to do what he had always done. There was a big, thick piece of chocolate cake in the refrigerator. He served himself the whole thing, and played with the spoon. He perused the selection of movies he could see and every single one looked dumb, or simple, or too artsy, or untitillating, or—well, he wasn’t going to like anything, so he was as back to normal. Aha! He had found an old, suspenseful movie, and he knew Bokuto was going to complain loudly. It wasn’t even in colour. Nonetheless, Akaashi was going to like it, and, as a collateral effect, Bokuto was going to be talking all along, complaining about how old it was, and why should he watch it in the first place, and how he was choosing next time; but, it was music for Akaashi’s ears, because he had realised, that, it didn’t matter what movie he chose, Bokuto was going to join him, reluctantly, but loyally. Akaashi’s fingers where moving again; it was a very characteristic trait, seeing him cross-legged, with the cake’s plate on his lap, staring vacantly, one hand would hold the tip of a finger of the other, and then change, and tremble. He didn’t look nervous, but concentrated. He was interrupted by Bokuto storming inside, and throwing everything aside, and discarding clothes and footwear, and throwing himself into the other end of the couch as if he were a gigantic blobby jellyfish. ‘Oh, man.’ A loud, affected sigh. ‘I’m tired. I’m exhausted. What a day. Look at you all fresh like a lettuce, Akaashi. I swear I should have stayed. ‘You didn’t tell me you were going out.’ ‘I forgot. You weren’t around and everyone was so pumped.’ ‘Were you wearing a tie?’ ‘Yes, but only a little.’ ‘I didn’t know you knew how to tie a tie.’ ‘There are many things you don’t know about me, Akaashi. I’m a mystery.’ ‘Oh, I know everything about you…’ In hearing this, Bokuto’s head turned, suspiciously. ‘Oh, yeah. That’s factually impossible. Where was I when I had my first popsicle? What was the name of my kindergarten teacher? Name my ancestors on a 7th generation.’ ‘They might as well have being raccoon dogs…’ ‘You see, not even I…what, and what are you?’ ‘I’m a descendant of Daruma, because I have been so long sitting here that I don’t feel my legs.’ Akaashi dripped to the floor. ‘Are we watching a movie?’ Asked Bokuto, somehow noticing Akaashi’s gaze locked on the telly. ‘We are watching…’ He held the phone in front of him. ‘…this one.’ Bokuto left out a loud ‘poof.’ ‘That’s from before people invented colours. I refuuused to pay attention to a movie where everyone talks hoity-toity and everything’s so shadowy, and the drama!’ Bokuto made like a horde of violins in a suspenseful movie. Akaashi imitated a phrase of one of his favourite movies. ‘Tennis my foot!’ ‘Wha?’ ‘Bokuto, shut up, and make some caramel popcorn. I’m the only one that needs to pay attention.’ Bokuto made so, grumpily. Fast-forward a very preoccupied Bokuto screaming to the television. ‘But she loves him. It’s all a crappy misunderstanding. C’mon.’ ‘Maybe he’s the killer.’ Bokuto left out a cry of indignation. ‘He’s a saint.’ ‘I don’t know, there were many frames suggesting otherwise.’ ‘That’s a trick. It’s to distract you. That’s how they get you. The one you least expect. Bam! Plot twist.’ ‘OK, OK.’ It felt strangely easy now. ‘Bokuto, are you going to be hired for a serious team? Are you going to go far away?’ Bokuto was very concentrated on the movie. ‘What, oh, yes. I thought you knew.’ ‘No, I didn’t.’ ‘I thought you knew everything.’ He said mockingly. ‘No, I don’t.’ Akaashi put his hand over his. Bokuto turned around. ‘I don’t want you to go.’ Bokuto dismissed him ever so easily. ‘Akaashi, what are you talking about. You are coming with me.’ Even more strangely, Akaashi’s eyes drowned in tears. ‘You thought I knew.’ Akaashi looked at him, with his upside down mouth in a pout, and his frown deeply, movingly wrinkled, and his eyes squinted, but he wasn’t annoyed, he was, somehow, content. He sprang forward and gave him a kiss. He didn’t cared about so much there; it was exactly what he had expected, although, not what he had imagined—which had been a corny ‘come away with me,’ or something similar—but yet, in reality, most of what he feared, or pictured, or anticipated in everyday life did not happen. And he wanted to tell Bokuto that he was everything he already knew, and more, even if he was sometimes cocky and a bit big-headed; and everything he had never called him before, handsome, smart, swift, sweet, wise, and so much more. But there it was, a cyphered message, in that very instant, Bokuto would know why he would take him away from over-enthusiastic girls, and why he would stared sometimes at him too much, or at his torso when he changed t-shirts, or why he would make sure he could feast on the things he liked. He would simply make up for himself so much, and filled so much empty spaces, and maybe… When he opened his eyes, Bokuto yellowish, lazy eyes were staring right at him. ‘Akaashi, you never talk much. I just think you already know things. We—we are a thing, right. I mean, I like you. What’s more, we are maybe both closest than anyone. I thought… well, do I have to make everything formal.’ ‘You can make an appointment in the morning.’ ‘So, we a thing?’ ‘Yes. We are.’ ‘What now?’ ‘Now we kiss.’ ‘Well, not right now. I need to finish this movie.’ Akaashi fought him, and won. They watched the rest of the movie almost cheek to cheek. And when it was done, they fought again about the ending till they laughed because they where going no-where. Akaashi had gone through the dark and back, and he was even smiling. But he was not in a mood to hear one more… ‘That piece of chocolate was for you, you know.’ ‘I know.’ ‘I thought you knew.’ ‘Argggg!’

[jaydub-tarot-blog]

Into the Wildwoods Shadow and Light Spread   1.    What is my shadow:  Ten of Wands ( R )- Upright, the Ten of Wands represents a struggle, carrying a load too heavy to bear, yet somehow making due and continuing the journey.  Reversed, the wands look like roots, binding the wanderer to the sky, preventing him from taking another step. The interesting thing is the being bound to the sky part, as one doesn’t necessarily imagine someone being tied to the sky.  The mental image that brings me is of too much freedom.  Your feet can’t touch the ground, so you can’t ground yourself in reality, or really even find your bearings.  There is still too much of a burden in that too much freedom leads to too many choices and too many paths to take.  It’s almost akin to a burden of too many flights of fancy, to the point where the flights never end.  It could also mean an inability to make a choice (which would be ironic for Geminis to have this as their shadow). Also, while wands are a suit of fire, being bound to the sky reeks of the element of air (which would also be an ironic thing for Geminis, as well as for any other air sign). So, this is telling me that my shadow is having too many options, being stuck in the clouds if you will, and that my shadow element is air. a.    How to go deeper into the woods: The Woodward-  The Woodward is the Wildwood’s equivalent to the Strength card in RWS systems, and as such speaks to me of patience and fortitude.  I’ve never connected with the Strength card being about actual, literal strength, whether mental, physical, or emotional.  Taming a large, undomesticated cat like that takes time, which requires hard work and a plethora of patience, as you have to teach them to basically ignore their instinct to attack anything that could be food and actually eat from your hand (so to speak).  This shows in this card, as both the man and the lynx are sitting still.  Neither are in a pose of aggression, to me, and both look like they’re just biding their time.  They’re relaxed and calm, ready to go if they need to, but willing to stay where they are without worry.  Thus, this card is telling me that I need to be patient.  Think about the paths that I can choose from.  Take my time to decide which one is the best for me, because being patient will prevent me from whichever path is gilded with fool’s gold. 2.    How can I connect to my shadow:  Page of Blades- This Page is alone in a wintery field, snow falling around him, and light shining off of his blade.  He stares at the glint, as if trying to figure out what it’s saying.  Pages are messengers, and as the Page of Blades, he is the messenger of thoughts, intellect, logic, and reason.  In order to connect to my shadow, I have to follow the advice of The Woodward.  I have to listen to logic and my thoughts on each path I can take. The card itself has a path in the background, and it seems like the light that shines off of his sword is coming from that direction.  In order to find his way out of the forest’s maze, he should follow that light and ignore all of the other paths that he may come across, for that is the one that will save his life.  If I don’t want to die one day regretting the decisions I’ve made, then I need to follow that path myself and find my way to happiness.  In this way will I connect with my shadow, and apparent shadow element. a.    How to go deeper into the woods:  Knight of Vessels ( R )- In this deck, the Knight of Vessels is an eel swimming against the current.  He or she is making a choice to follow his or her instincts, which say make your own path.  For me to go deeper, I need to follow the paths that are set before me instead of creating millions of others that could lead to dead ends or nowhere.  This card is also, as a card of action in the cups suit, representative of following your heart, when it’s upright.  However, this card is telling me to stop listening to my emotions and to stop following paths based on emotional decisions.  I need to listen to the logic in the Page of Blades instead.  Otherwise, I may end up making all of the possible wrong decisions in my life.  Remember, whenever there’s a logical path into the woods, there’s always a logical way out, even if that means you have to backtrack every once in a while (or often) until you find that path. 3.    What is my light?  Princess of Pentacles- This one is admittedly difficult for me to interpret.  The pentacles are definitely not a suit I’m good with, whether intuitively or straight book knowledge, and figuring out how this one works is more difficult because it doesn’t look like it’s a message of any sort, nor is it in a spot that would really denote a message.  However, in this image, the girl seems to be studying the pentacle in her hand. With that in mind, I’ll do my best to interpret it. The girl is standing still while holding the pentacle in one hand, the other hand on her cheek in a classic pose of pondering something intensely.  She isn’t sitting down, so she’s ready to carry whatever it is she discovers through this intense study to whomever it is meant for. Perhaps there is writing on the other side of the pentacle that we can’t see, and she’s considering what that writing says.  It seems like this card is saying that my light is my thirst for knowledge.  When I do the same thing day in and day out without learning something new, I get intensely bored and my mind starts to wander and I daydream (if that wasn’t clear in the first card).  I enjoy learning new things, and I enjoy gaining new skills.  When I first started cooking, I discovered how much I loved it and I really enjoy working on new dishes that are my own creations, as well as adding flavors to dishes that are already established.  When I started down the path of magick, I discovered that I had a talent for reading the cards and I’ve been trying to learn to read them even better.  When I started to write, I enjoyed learning how to write both poetry and prose.  I love reading, and even if I’m not reading something like a textbook and I’m just reading for fun, I’m still expanding my vocabulary and learning new words and phrases. The only thing that staunches my thirst for knowledge (not quenches, staunches) is laziness, and that’s something I’m working on letting go. a.    How to go deeper into the woods:  Seven of Stones- The Seven of Stones is traditionally about perseverance that leads to profit of some sort, yet the keyword on the card is healing. At first I couldn’t figure out how to connect the traditional meaning to the keyword and connect that connection to how to go deeper, but the image of the card itself is what made it click.  In order to go deeper, I need to put that thirst for knowledge into helping others.  There are two figures on the card.  One looks like a healer of some sort, and the other is an older man lying flat, eyes closed. The healer has his hands over the man’s forehead and lower body, and is obviously trying to heal some ailment. As such, the desire I have to learn new things and skills should be put towards areas of study that benefit others directly. I think the card is telling me that I should be putting that drive towards the medical field in some way, which is something I’ve always thought about.  I need to learn more about the human body and the mind, and on the side, I can take time to learn about energy healing, maybe even Reiki.  To go deeper, I need to focus that drive into something instead of letting it run rampant and undirected. 4.    How can I connect to my light:  Six of Swords ( R )- Stop going on a million journeys.  Simple as that, really.  Find one journey (or path) and stick to it.  If it turns out down the line that it isn’t the right path for you, then it’s okay to go to the next one, but you can’t keep splitting your attention the way that you are by trying to learn tarot and connecting to energy and spirituality and writing and all of the other things that you’re trying to learn.  Your brain doesn’t work like that naturally, and you know it.  That isn’t to say, however, that you can’t find a way to meld all of those items into one path, because you can.  You just can’t keep treating them all like they’re separate paths that aren’t connecting in any way. Especially since many of the things you’re trying to learn are inherently connected and should be studied together.  You know how to keep the journey interesting so that you don’t get bored.  Do it. a.    How to go deeper into the woods:  Nine of Arrows ( R )- Normally a card of sorrow, in this deck the Nine of Arrows is supposed to mean dedication to something or someone.  Reversed, it looks like the woman is dropping her arrows all over the place.  This card further strengthens the statement of the reversed Six of Swords.  It also seems to be saying that I need to let go of all of these millions of paths and options I’m following while choosing one path, as indicated by the solitary arrow that she’s holding onto while upside down. The other arrows are distractions, whereas the one in her hand is the one that she’s actually focused on.  Also, strangely enough, she’s holding the bow incorrectly, which the book says is like a violin. I can see that, but I know that it’s not saying that I should focus on music, as I’m not musically inclined. Instead, it looks like out of all the options she had, she chose one and she’s also carefully holding onto the instrument or tool that will allow her to follow that path to completion. She wants to make sure that it doesn’t get damaged somehow. 5.   How can I bring my shadow into the light and illuminate the dark:  Judgement and Four of Cups ( R )- I need to forgive myself and accept that the new path that I’ve embarked on has the potential to bring excitement and joy into my life. I need to forgive myself for tying myself up with nothing but daydreams and delusions of grandeur, both of which do nothing but prevent me from truly taking the next step on the path I’m on.  This new path is full of promises of everything I want, besides and endless bank account, and it’s a letting go of the stagnation that having too many options has caused. a.    How to go deeper into the woods:  Four of Vessels- It’s ironic that the same step to illuminate the dark is showing here as upright, where it does mean stagnation and boredom.  I think this card is telling me that it’s okay to be bored once in a while.  Life isn’t a constant shifting of gears higher and higher.  Occasionally you have to cruise and be bored for a bit to see just how exciting life can really be. Further, when I’m going nonstop except for sleeping and working, it leaves me even more exhausted than I already am at the end of the day. It also means that I’m never resting, except when sleeping, and even that isn’t all that restful because part of me still sees sleep as a bit of a waste of time because that’s six to eight hours of the day that I could actually be doing something and crossing something off of my to-do list.  Take a moment and smell the roses. It’s okay.