#Fault Finding Chelsea

[jacobfreddie1005]

Looking for the best Consumer Unit Repairs in Chelsea? then contact AceCo Services, a professional electrician business located in Chelsea, London.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Rival II

Hardersson x Child!Reader

Summary: Your parents reaction when you wander off

When Pernille is finally free from her interview, her eyes instantly search for you.

You've been restless all day, full of wiggly energy that she knew she would have to wring out of you if she wanted you to fall asleep tonight.

But she couldn't spot you anywhere.

She found Magda easily enough, taking pictures and signing shirts. But she can't spy you anywhere. Her eyes glance to Jessie and Niamh but you're not with them. She looks to Millie and Sam but you're not with them either.

"Where's y/n?" She asks Magda.

Magda frowns. "Is she not with you?"

"Would I be asking if she was?" Pernille only feels a little bad for snapping but worry is flooding her body and it's the same kind of panic when you wandered off in Germany and appeared with Caro nearly an hour later.

"Is she not with the other girls?"

"No!"

The panic finally settles into Magda's face as she glances around. Her throat bobs. "We'll find her. I'll go and check in with Emma, see if she's with the staff. Why don't you ask the girls where they last saw her?"

Pernille nods and she hurries away. Jessie and Niamh both report last seeing you on the bench, as does Guro, but promise to keep an eye out.

"Whoa, P," Sam says as Pernille approaches," Is there a fire or something? What's got you moving so fast?" Her jovial attitude is warranted, seeing as Chelsea had just won but it rubs Pernille up the wrong way regardless.

"y/n's gone!" She snaps and both Sam and Millie's laughter is wiped off their faces.

"What do you mean she's gone?" Millie asks, looking around as if you'll just appear out of thin air.

"She's gone! Missing! Magda and I haven't seen her since the match ended!" Pernille feels close to tears, likes she's going to have a breakdown on the field in front of all these cameras.

Millie catches her arms, holding them tightly. "We'll find her," She promises," I swear. She's only little and nobody would be able to get onto the pitch to snatch her. She's probably wandered off. You said she likes to do that, right?"

Pernille nods. "Y-Yeah."

"Then she's just wandered off somewhere," Sam says," I'll grab some of the others, tell them that she's disappeared. We'll find her, P."

Pernille nods, albeit shakily and hurries to Magda, hoping that you've appeared at her side by now.

"Any news?"

Magda shakes her head. "Why don't you head back to the locker room? She might have gone back there."

Pernille nods slowly, hurrying off.

Magda watches her go and tries to ignore the guilt swirling in her stomach. She was meant to be watching you. She should have at least held your hand while she was signing things.

"Hey!" Erin jogs up to her," I heard y/n's missing? Any luck?"

Magda shakes her head. "I just sent Pernille to check the locker room but I'm not sure...She shouldn't have been allowed to get this far. It's all my fault."

"She likes to wander," Erin tries to console her," Yeah, you should have kept a closer eye on her but she'd have wandered regardless."

Tears prick in Magda's eyes. "She can't be lost," She says," She's only little. She used to fit in my arms. I can't have lost her."

"You haven't lost her," Erin says firmly," Go to the locker room with Pernille. I'm going to try and catch Jen and Kim, see if any of the Arsenal girls have found her."

Magda nods slightly but relents, slipping off into the tunnel with her head down. By the time she gets to the locker room, she already knows what she's going to find.

Pernille's sitting in her cubby, sobbing her eyes out and Magda breaks instantly. The girls in the locker room try to console them both but they can't.

Pernille curls into Magda's embrace and she's clutching the little blanket they had stuffed into your bag in case you got sleepy. You hadn't touched it since they left the locker room.

Magda doesn't know how long they sit there, sobbing, before Jen Beattie from Arsenal bursts in.

"We found her," She says, panting like she had just run a mile," Your kid, we found her. She's in our locker room. We've got her."

Pernille shoots up instantly, hand wrapped tightly around Magda's as they hurry after Beattie.

And there you are.

Sitting in McCabe's cubby with your swan, settled easily amongst the Arsenal girls.

Pernille's in tears all over again as she holds you tight, tucking you securely into her body before she pulls away, hands fluttering around your face to check for injuries.

Magda finds herself thanking Little profusely before hugging McCabe - a move that shocks before herself and the Arsenal player. She looks down at you fondly when you appear at her side, completely unharmed and happy as Pernille keeps a tight hold on your hand, not willing to let you go for even a moment. Magda smiles back at you.

"I like Arsenal," You say," Can I have an Arsenal jersey for the next match?"

Her smile drops.

[theta-walti]

Graceful Mishaps

Summary: R is a bit clumsy. Some small moments when the r is clumsy and Jessie taking care of her

Warnings: Fluff, fluff and more fluff!

A/N: Jessie is still in Chelsea for this fic! i had fun, thank you for the idea for my debut fic!

Word count: 1.1k

everyone on the team knows that your clumsy, you won't admit it but it's true, every little move can cause you to stumble. Just like this morning, when you were getting ready you tripped over the clothes that you had carelessly tossed aside moments before, or the coffee that you accidentally knocked over when your making breakfast yesterday, or the lastest accident in the changing rooms where you tied your shoelaces together and it lead to a comical trip when you attempt to run, that lead to the argument between you and jessie just moments later.

"l'm not that clumsy!" you said, trying to defend yourself

"Yes you are! you just triped because of your shoelaces!" Jessie aruged back as she crossed her arms

"That was an accident!"

"exactly!" Jessie yelled back

"tell me then! when am l that clumsy?"

Jessie thought for a while then she spoke with a little smirk on the edage of her lips

"do you remember grocery shopping last week?"

Hearing the question a memory flooded back into your mind

You and Jessie were at the shops, picking up things for the upcoming week. Jessie was holding your hand tightly, and you were trying your hardest not to wonder off, She had a firm grip, and you had a hard time keeping up with her, but you think that she was purposefully walking fast to keep you on your toes.

"Jessie, how much longer are we going to be here? I'm hungry and l want to go home." you said as we turned into the snack aisle.

"Don't be dramatic, you ate before we came here. We're almost done. I just need to get some chips and then we can go." She replied as her eyes scaned the crisps shelf debating on which one she should get.

"But I'm hungry now! And we have chips at home, can't we just go pay for everything and go?" you pouted.

She let go of your hand and walked a few feet in front of you. you saw her pick up a bag of tortilla chips and walk back, then she throw it in the the trolly, which is right in front of you. you went to take a step forward to take Jessie's hand again when you tripped over one of the wheels of the trolly. You fell to the ground, landing right on your face and Jessie bursted out laughing.

"I knew those shoes weren't a good idea, they make you too clumsy." She teased.

"Not my fault. The trolly was in my way." you retorted with a scowl, getting up off the ground and dusted the non-existent dust off.

"Maybe we should just get some bandages. We both know it's inevitable that you'll hurt yourself before the night is over." Jessie said with a smirk on her face.

You looked at her, trying to figure out if she was joking or not. When you decided that she was just being sarcastic, you shot her a playful glare.

"Just because you're right doesn't mean that you have to say it." you responded, crossing you arms.

She laughed, wrapping her arm around your waist and pulling you into her.

"I think we can find some band-aids at home." She teased again." Come on, let's go get the rest of the stuff and get out of here." She suggested, and you nodded.

"That's fine with me. The faster we leave, the faster I get food." You agreed and Jessie chuckled.

"Oh that was one time!" Your tried to argue back.

"One time? What about the kitchen plates?" The smirk on Jessie's face went wider as she spoke.

You blushed as another memory flooded into your mind

It was a nice evening, you and Jessie were preparing dinner together. Jessie had taken charge of chopping vegetables while you were in charge of setting the table, However, as you reached for the plates in the cabinet, your hand slipped, and you ended up dropping a stack of plates, causing them to crash onto the counter with a loud clatter.

"Oh shit, " you muttered, and your cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you immediately bent down to pick up the pieces.

Jessie rushed over immediately when she heard the loud crash, concern and worry filled on her face. "Are you okay?" she asked, kneeling down beside you to help clean up the mess.

You nodded, feeling flustered by your clumsiness. "Yeah, just a little accident," you replied sheepishly.

As you continued to clean up, Jessie couldn't help but notice your hands. Your finger was cut by the glass. She immediately stood up and dragged you up with her

"You're bleeding, come on"

*she started to walk towards the bathroom, still holding your injured hand*

"Where-" you looked at your hand and noticed the cut. You must have cut it when you're picking up the plates, "but the plates-"

"You're more important, now sit down"

Jessie said as she walked over to the sink and bent sown to grab the first aid kit. When she returned, she just asked for your hand and started to take care of it. "You know, I think you're even more accident-prone in the kitchen than I am," she teased gently, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze.

You couldn't help but laugh at her comment, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. "I guess that's one way to put it," you replied, still feeling a bit embarrassed.

When Jessie finished, she put a kiss on the back of your hand and smiled. "Feeling better?"

"Yea, thank you, baby." You kissed Jessie's lips for a brief second and grinned, Jessie blushed and connected their lips again, and they stayed like that for a while before she pulled away, both of you a bit breathless "Come on, we still have dinner to finish and some plates to clean up"

You grinned and followed Jessie out of the bathroom and back into the kitchen.

"That's night ended very well thank you very much!" You tried to defend yourself again.

"That's not what l'm trying to say! You really should be more careful baby" Jessie said as she stepped forward, closer to you as she wrapped her arms around you

"I know, jess, l know." You leaned into the touch, and gradually, it turned into a hug as you wrapped your arms around her neck. sudden, the doors of the changing room opened, and Guro's head popped in.

"Come on love birds! Your late and Emma is asking why your taking so long to get changed!" Guro's Norwegian accent shown though as she spoke, you and Jessie both broke apart of the hug and chuckled.

"Race you to the field!" Jessie yelled as she got a head start, racing out of the changing rooms, you followed, and of cause, since you still haven't re-tied your laces, your face is on the ground once more.

A/N: l hope you like it! The end is a bit rush but l think it's good! I hope you enjoy it and feel free to send more requests!! This is theta, signing out, see you later!

[flem17ng]

Could you write basically anything for Jessie Fleming? I’m obsessed with her atm x

Chance encounters JFlem x Reader

Thank you anon! I have the biggest crush on her rn it’s not even funny. I hope you enjoy (also please note that i’m still getting used to writing in second person so i’m sorry if the grammar is insane)

chelsea!jessie fleming x Arsenal!reader

summary: reader has just signed for Arsenal as a midfielder. she meets jessie at her starting debut against chelsea. a few chance encounters after and their relationship builds. 

warnings: Kinda very long. 

word count: 3.2k

“Y/n if you don’t hurry Jonas is gonna find someone to fill that starting spot!”

“no he won’t Leah, don’t be a dick.”

Leah laughed from where she leaned against the doorway. You two were the only ones left in there, everyone else was on their way through the tunnels to warm up. 

“come on kid, you’re great! there is a reason why you’re on this team ok. remember that”

You sighed but nodded, Leah was right as always. But that didn’t stop the feeling of nerves that crept into your belly and up your back and neck. The last time you had been this nervous was… well you couldn’t remember when. 

You stood and corrected your shin pad slightly before straightening up. 

“I know.” you breathed and took a deep breath, “ok. i’m good. let’s go williamson!”

You slapped her on the back at you stepped passed her and into the hallway. 

on the other side was the other team, chelsea’s, locker room. 

“god i hate this stadium, they put us so close together!” Leah whined as you both walked past. You didn’t answer, instead peering into the room. you caught sight of a short brown ponytail and a blue kit before you were rudely tugged forwards. 

“jeez Leah! you’re the one who stayed behind to wait for me! what’s with all the impatience” you mumbled but trudged on. It was a big game, you wanted to get warm. 

***

Walking out as part of the opening lineup was the most surreal experience you had ever had. The crowed roared like a stormy sea of blue and red. Chelsea fans screamed at their captain while the gooners ran through player chants. Across from you, on chelsea’s side, stood the opposing attacking midfielder. You could feel your palms sweating, your heart racing, but you spared a glance at the girl- before promptly almost stopping breathing. 

Jessie Fleming was standing about a metre away from you: eyes forward, jaw clenched, hair in a neat ponytail. You’d seen her around before (and if you were being really honest, you’d always thought she was gorgeous) But now she was standing right next to you. 

“head in the game y/l/n” Katie called from behind you. 

Jessie looked at you before you could look away, and curled her lips up in a friendly smile. You felt your stomach flip at the sight and gave her an awkward wave in return before facing the front. 

So what if she was gorgeous? So what if she happened to be the player Jonas told you to mark? You had a derby the win. 

***

Look. You hadn’t seen her coming so really, was it your fault that you ended up on top of her in the last 5 minutes of the game? maybe. 

The game was as tough as you knew it was going to be: Kerr was running up front aiming for the net while the chelsea defenders had locked into a solid formation. By half time it was still nil all. By second half both teams had gotten reckless; Beth took a hard tumble that had the crowd on their feet while Ashleigh Lawrence on the blues side had been sent off with a suspected concussion. 

so there you were, midfielding in a violent London derby, 2 all with just minutes left to go. 

You touched the ball and took off running, hoping to pass it off to Katie. Distantly you could hear Steph screaming at you (“MAN ON, MAN ON y/n!!”) but before you could proses her words the ball was stolen in a lightning slide-tackle. The force took you off balence and you stumbled forward into the player who was just starting to stand up. 

Time seemed to slow down as you fell forwards: the ball rolled away, the grass was a lot greener up close and oh god were you falling on the person you thought you were?!

You hit something hard and warm with a thud. 

“ow” Jessie groaned, having been sandwiched between the ground and yourself. 

You looked at her, horrified at the situation, and found her with her eyes shut and grimacing. 

“oh my god, I’m so sorry” the whistle had blown but you ignored it, scrambling off the Canadian and holding out your hand to help her up. 

she cracked open her eye and smiled lopsidedly. 

“hey i’m the one that tackled you!”

You shuffled, hand still outstretched. Jessie laughed and look your hand with a firm grip, letting herself be pulled up. 

“true. Maybe i should be rolling around on the ground a bit more to prove that. Lord knows we need that penalty” You grinned at her and slapped her arm before pulling away. 

“You wish gooner”

The whistle blew again and you both turned to the referee. you still had some time in this game. 

***

Jessie limped into the Blues locker room, hair falling out of her pony tail and cheeks a flaming pink. The game hadn’t gone in her favour, something she took hard. The tumble at the end of the game had left her feeling beaten and bruised. 

“jess! nice work ok there mate!” Sam slapped her shoulder with a smile. Jessie just nodded and began to pull off her shirt with one hand. At this point in the night she just wanted to get home with her dog and a large tub of chocolate ice cream. Slowly she packed up her stuff, pulling off her socks and shoes. she was halfway through her post game ritual when guro sat with a thud next to her. 

“tough tumble you took just then”

“oh it was nothing really. just a badly timed tackle is all.” Jessie shrugged. the tackle had been perfect but she wasn’t about to blame you for it. 

“have you met her before. y/n?” Guro questioned. 

Jessie felt her cheeks go red again and hoped she wouldn’t notice. 

“not properly no. we’re in similar circles”

“hm. she’s cute” Guro winked and stood, grabbing her bag. “see ya on Tuesday jess!” 

Jessie opened her mouth, thought, and shut it again. She felt her ears burn a little. of course she knew you where cute, she’d thought that the second she had seen your transfer announcement, she’d known you were gorgeous the moment she had seen you in a bar months ago during a holiday break. And she’d been thinking about you since she saw you sitting up on the starting roster for the derby. 

A knock on the locker room door startled her out of her (gay) thoughts. 

“hey Fleming? Sorry i know i’m technically not allowed to be here…” Your voice carried through the almost empty room. You stood in the doorway, looking very out of place in your arsenal jacket. 

“no not at all. come in please” jessie managed to get out, half in shock and half in disbelief. You walked forward to where she sat, one leg stretched out, kit half on, bag half packed. 

“i just wanted to make sure you were ok. I fell pretty hard on you back there” You fiddled with your fingers and glanced down at jessie as if checking for any bruises. 

“eh, no worse than anything else. Just tired mostly” She looked up at you and you noticed how dark her eyes looked. she did seem tired, weighed down even. You hummed and sat gingerly on the bench next to her. the change room was empty now, and quiet. Jessie rubbed her knee with a wince  You watched the side of her face for a second before reaching into your own bag and pulling out a small ice pack that you kept for emergency’s. Gently, you touched her hand and moved it off her knee, placing the ice pack down instead. 

“thanks” jessie muttered, holding the ice pack to her joint. 

“Good job tonight.” you half whispered, scared to raise your voice in the quiet room, “i had a lot of fun playing with you” You stood up and brushed your pants awkwardly. Jessie smiled and nodded but didn’t look convinced. 

“see you around y/l/n”

“bet on it Fleming”

***

*ARSENAL WIN LONDON DERBY. 3-2 AGAINST CHELSEA*

the newspaper sat on the park bench, a light wind rustling its pages and the recently fallen leaves on the path. You smiled when you saw it, remembering the excitement of the game, the final goal and the bar night that came after. You went to pick up the paper when a dog started barking. 

“i’m so sorry he doesn’t normally do that” a woman called apologetically. 

“no problem really” you stated looking up from the paper to the golden retriever that was sniffing at your feet. “aren’t you a handsome boy?” you cooed before looking up at the owner. 

“y/n? oh my god i didn’t recognise you out of your kit!” Jessie grinned at you, both hands on her dog’s leash as she attempted to keep him from running off. She was wearing a sweatshirt and loose jeans, her hair was out in waves around her jaw. 

“Jessie gosh i didn’t see you!” you hoped you didn’t sound as breathless as you felt, though you doubted it considering how hot your cheeks were. 

She looked down at the paper on the bench and snorted.

“still revelling in your glory then?” you looked down, guilty. “It’s alright, it was a hell of a debut”

“even if i fell on my face at the end?”

“I believe you fell on my face actually” Jessie giggled, her cheeks going rosy. 

“hey now i said i was sorry!”

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing did i?” You looked at her with raised eyebrows, she just raised hers back. You would have thought she was bantering if it wasn’t for the steady blush going from her freckled cheeks to her ears. 

The dog woofed loudly, snapping you both back to reality. 

“um so, free day for you aswell?” Jessie asked now trying to look anywhere but at you. 

“yeah. Coach let us have a day off for ‘celebration’.”

“hate to break it to you Y/l/n but this isn’t the pub” Jessie motioned around the park (relatively empty because it was a Monday morning)

“Well… I would much rather be out and about than in some stuffy pub at 9am. Why are you free?”

“I think Emma wanted to give us time to reflect on the game. I’m sure we’ll be in for a lecture tomorrow.” Jessie pulled the leed and motioned for you to walk with her. The park was one of those little ones you only find in London: gated and stuck between large apartments and tiny cafes. 

“you played amazingly though.” You stated, sticking your hands in your pockets. Jessie snorted and shook her head. 

“I played pretty shit. You don’t have to butter me up.”

“I’m not! I’ve seen you play a million times before and yesterday was definitely one of the best”

“a million times? really? I didn’t know you where a fan” jessie smirked. 

“oh please Fleming don’t look so smug or i’ll find some other boring Canadian to bother”

Jessie scoffed and looked at you with feigned anger, “Boring? You’re the one spending your celebration day in a park with the enemy” 

You laughed and nodded in agreement. The truth was: You had been invited for breakfast with the team but crowds weren’t really your thing. And maybe you couldn’t get a certain brunette off your mind but that wasn’t anyone’s business. 

“well would it make it any better if i asked the enemy to get some coffee with me?”

***

The cafe, like the park, was empty. an old man sat in the corner with a crossword and the teenager at the counter looked half asleep on his feet. The dog was allowed in and now sat peacefully by jessie’s feet, his big brown eyes looking out the window for a squirrel to watch. 

“what’s his name?” You asked, tipping your head towards the retriever. 

“moose” 

“moose? oh my god you’re so Canadian. Next you’re gonna tell me you have a cat called maple syrup.” Jessie laughed and shook her head. 

“i do have a cat back home- but her name is Bear.”

“oh my god that’s almost worse.” you laughed and patted moose on the head. “you like animals then?”

Jessie’s eyes lit up and she leaned closer. 

“i love them. anything in nature! hiking, camping. And any animal i love!” Her eyes sparkled and she took a sip of her drink (cold brew, an order a friend from the Canadian team had introduced to her). 

“wait yeah i forgot. You’re crazy smart aren’t you?” You asked. Of course she was, smart, talented, god damn ethereal in the morning sunlight and apparently an animal lover aswell. 

“well… i went to university. engineering, environmental science.” she smiled sheepishly, “it’s funny because i majored in mechanical engineering but i would love to have a farm one day” She smiled thinking about it. You pictured it for a moment: Jessie in a flannel and cowboy hat, dog by her side and an axe or something in her hand. 

“I think you would be good at that” You responded, trying not to think about lumber jack jessie for too long. 

She smiled and took another long sip from her cup. 

“I didn’t know you lived near here?” Jessie asked. 

“yeah I’ve been staying with Leah for a few weeks. I’m hoping to get an apartment within a month or so though.” rooming with leah was harder than it sounded. she was high maintenance. “what about you? do you live with anyone? boyfriend?”

jessie snorted,  her coffee almost spraying over the table. She looked at you for a moment with a raised eyebrow before realising you weren’t kidding. 

“oh you’re serious? No i don’t have a boyfriend. I um. No. i don’t… I don’t really do boys at all really” Jessie blushed and shook her head. 

“OH! oh god my bad! I mean neither do i. I didn’t want to assume, you know get my hopes up-“ You quickly slapped a hand over your mouth. 

“get your hopes up eh?” jessie smirked. You panicked for a second, Looking at her and then the door and then the old man. Jeez that was real smooth. 

“What i mean is: Sometimes you just don’t know. I didn’t want to hope that you… That you were gay because we might not relate right!” was it hot in the cafe? you were pretty sure you were sweating. Did jessie buy it? why did she look disappointed. It was at that moment that your phone began to ring. 

“Look jess i’ll have to catch you later! Leah is wondering why i didn’t get the coffee beans she told me to get!”

“Leah doesn’t drink coffee”

“yes. right. well i still must be off” you got up and handed your card to the waiter, paying for both you and jessie’s drinks without a thought. Jessie watched you for a moment feeling a little hurt. Did you have a problem with her being gay? That didn’t make sense but she couldn’t think of another reason that you had gone cold. 

“Alright. Thanks for the coffee eh? I’ll pay you back another time.”

“sure. another time Fleming” you smiled and patter Moose one last time before heading out the door leaving jessie both confused, slightly hurt and all together very queer. 

***

It was Millie that ended up dragging her to the club a few weeks later. If it was up to her, Jessie would have stayed in watching star wars with a bowl of popcorn. But alas, her Captain had other plans and so she found herself, half drunk and grumpy in a crowded booth on a friday night. She was wearing a black button down shirt and slacks (the only smart outfit she owned that wasn’t sweats and a tshirt). The music was Thumping, Lights flashing and her head was feeling way too light for this early in the evening. 

“hey jeff. I think i spotted your girl on the dance floor earlier” Sam shouted teasingly. By now the whole team had noticed jessie’s little crush. 

“she’s not my girl sam. She literally ran away when she found out i was gay” Jessie rolled her eyes and sunk further into her seat. So maybe she had been thinking about that day at the cafe a little more than normal. 

“oh my god you’re an idiot fleming.” Guro stated. “she’s gay! She blushes like an idiot every-time you’re around! go find her and dance!”

“yeah right. i’m going to dance but just to get away from you” jessie stood and walked into the dance floor, finding the music and letting herself move further away from her friends in the booth. It was all she could think about for the last few weeks. Every post she saw about you, every song made her feel dizzy. She felt like a fool. 

“Jessie? I didn’t know you would be out tonight” Your voice cut through the music and jessie turned sharply to face you, her mouth falling open. You were wearing a tight dress that clung to your curves, the lights of the club lit up your face in strange ways, highlighting your lips, your eyes… jessie froze. 

“look jess i feel really bad about that day. I was being an idiot. I don’t know why i freaked out the way i did. I mean of course i wanted you to be gay! You’re the most amazingly beautiful woman i’ve ever seen! god i’m just yapping now but-“

“dance with me” Jessie cut you off, eyes still wide as she watched you. 

“pardon?”

“dance with me y/n”

She stepped closer into you her hands coming to rest on your waist where she ran her nails softly over the silk of your dress. The music was loud and fast yet you swayed together, impossibly close. 

you put your hands in her neck, your fingers tangling into the roots of her hair making her eyes flutter closed. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you laughed nervously. Jessie’s eyes were on yours, pupils large and dark. The crowd melted away as she pushed forward and kissed you. 

It was as if all the air had been sucked from your lungs. Her lips were soft and warm and tasted like mixer and vodka. Her grip tightened on your waist and you kissed her back hard. Your finger slipped into her hair as she gasped into your mouth. It was hot and messy and you needed it. You kissed her like a woman starved. 

When you finally broke apart you breathed heavily, mouth pink and cheeks flushed. 

“fuck” she gasped, her eyes glued to your mouth. 

“yeah” you laughed cradling her face in your hands. 

“for the record i think you’re really beautiful.” jessie laughed, suddenly looking bashful. You grinned and placed another kiss on her swollen lips. 

“let’s get out of here Fleming. I think I need to show you just how beautiful you are”

[mrchiipchrome]

Character Introductions

(yes, I know I should've done this before the first part was posted but I didn't so y'all get it now)

-------------------

Nika Mühl as herself

Height: 5’11

Age: 20

School/Team: University of Connecticut (UConn), UConn Women’s Basketball Team (#10), Croatia (#10)

Nicknames: Mühl, Love, Secretary Of Defense, Pookie (only by Paige)

Nationality: Croatian

Instagram: nika.muhl

Alt: nikalovesbball

“I don’t like her like that, we’re just friends, nothing more.”

“I don’t know what I want yet, but I do know that I want it with you. Not someone like you, it’s you that I want.”

“You know, I was always a Chelsea fan.”

You as Yourself (shhh, just imagine.)

Height: Tall as fuck

Age: 18

School/Team: Harvard, Harvard Women’s Soccer Team (#10), England WNT (#10/2+8)

Nicknames: Grumpy, Kid/Kiddo, Troll Child (Leah), Baby, Tiny (only by Paige), Captain

Nationality: English

Instagram: y/n.y/l/n

Alt: norflondonforever

“North London forever, whatever the weather, these streets are our own.”

“I want a beach house in Barcelona, with the most amazing view of the water. And maybe a dog, or a cat. And I want to run a small surf shop at the corner of the beach, hidden away from everything. That’s what my legacy will be, just you me and our beach house in Barca.”

“Sorry coach, I gotta go see ‘bout a girl.”

Gabbi Broussard as Emma 'Em' Whitmore

Height: 5’9

Age: 20

School/Team: Harvard, Harvard Women’s Soccer Team (#18), USWNT (#28)

Nicknames: Em, Emily, Emma Hayes (only by you to annoy her), Ugly 

Nationality: American/Canadian

Instagram: emwhit18

Alt: thebetterwhitmore

“Cal’s not scary, he looks like the rat from Flushed Away.”

“I think you need to stop thinking about what everyone else wants and start thinking about what you want. This situation, it’s not your fault that you caught feelings, but it is your fault that you’re pushing her away, so man the fuck up and do the right thing.”

“Will you stop singing that already?”

Callum Turner as Callum 'Cal' Whitmore

Height: 6’4

Age: 23

School/Team: University of Connecticut (UConn), UConn Men’s Basketball Team(#26), US Men’s Basketball(#22)

Nicknames: Cal, Gollum, The Rat from Flushed Away

Nationality: American/Canadian

Instagram: callumwhitmore

Alt: nottheratfromflushedaway

“I don’t look like the fucking rat from Flushed Away, stop telling people that.”

“Em, dad called, he said shut up.”

“Watching you trying to flirt is the single most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done.”

Robert Sean Leonard as Coach 'Dad' Daniels

Height: 6’0

Age: 66

School/Team: Head Coach of Harvard Women’s Soccer Team

Nicknames: Coach, Dad, Coach Dad, Pops, Ancient Being

Nationality: American

Instagram: headcoachdaniels

Alt: doesn’t have one, he’s too much of an old fart

“It’s called intermittent fasting, look it up, you should try it sometime.”

“No, for the last time, me and Coach Hansen aren’t secretly married with two dogs, you all need less free time to come up with theories like that, this isn’t dead poet’s society. Extra training sessions the whole week out.”

“Are those hickeys? Okay ladies, when you want to have sex make sure to cover up the evidence after, I do not need to know more about your intimate lives than I already do.”

Ethan Hawke as Coach Hansen

Height: 5’11

Age: 62

School/team: Harvard Men’s Soccer Team Head Coach

Nicknames: Coach Daniels’ Husband, Dad #2, Mr. Sir

Nationality: American/British

Instagram: headcoachhansen

Alt: an old fart like his husband, so no alt for him

“So you kids thought you’d get a different answer from me than from Coach Daniels? Why are you kids so incessant on trying to find out if we’re together or not.”

“Don’t tell anyone, but I kissed Coach Daniels last night. It was like something straight out of a movie, something so poetic about it.”

“This is Buddy, me and Coach Daniels adopted him so that he could be our mascot. No other reason.”

Paige Bueckers as herself

Height: 6’0

Age: 20

School/Team: University of Connecticut (UConn), UConn Women’s Basketball Team (#5), USA Women’s Basketball Team (#5)

Nicknames: PBuckets, PB&J, The Third Jonas Brother

Nationality: American

Instagram: paigebueckers

Alt: p5buckets

“I’ll beat you on Fifa all day every day.”

“God Nika, admit it, you like her. I can see it from a mile away and this thing you’re doing, this back and forth, will they won’t they, is going to hurt you both in the end. All I’m suggesting is that you evaluate what you want from this relationship and then take it from there.”

“I’m always right, it’s scientifically impossible for me to be wrong.”

Leah Williamson as herself

Height: 5’7

Age: 25

School/Team: Arsenal Women’s Team (#6), England WNT (#6/8/5)

Nicknames: Lee, Will, Spurs Nr 1 Fan, Oldie, Capi

Nationality: English

Instagram: leahwilliamsonn

Alt: will.i.am.son

“I’M NOT A SPURS FAN, STOP SAYING THAT.”

“Y’know in all the time I’ve known you kid, I’ve never seen you this enamoured with someone, you’re so in love it’s making me sick.”

“You’re like the little sister I never had.”

Lucy Bronze as herself

Height: 5’7

Age: 30

School/Team: FC Barcelona Femení (#15), England WNT (#2)

Nicknames: Lucia, Robert, Luce, Prehistoric Being, Dad

Nationality: English/Portuguese

Instagram: lucybronze

Alt: bronzesilvergold

“Ugh, the ladies just love me don’t they.”

“I’m down with the lingo, I’ve got so much rizz that the boomers come running. Cowabunga.”

“Love is…love is effortless, it makes you feel all jittery and when you’re around them you feel like you can do anything. You’ll know it once you feel it kid, don’t try to rush the process, let it wash over you like the waves at the beach.”

Everyone else as themselves, also the other's alt instagrams will explained when they appear

[its-time-to-write]

i know now it’ll pass - ch. 6

Last chapter! Thank you all for the love!

am i better yet?

You stay inside the entire time Jamie’s visiting. You end up calling Georgie and telling her you’re sick, a side effect from poor rest. She clicks her tongue and has Simon deliver some food that he swears clears up any type of ailment. You accept it readily and wave goodbye, promising to come over as soon as you’re better. 

It’s Saturday night and Jamie leaves tomorrow evening so he can be back in Richmond for Monday morning training. Sometimes you can hear his voice through the walls and you think your heart is going to burst with all the emotions it causes. 

You’re angry at yourself, first and foremost, but there’s something about actually hearing him that makes you realize how much you love him. Then comes the sadness because you screwed it all up, and you’ve come to realize that Jamie would have loved you no matter what. He had made it through the worst of your relationship, why did you convince yourself he’d leave you?

You’re fed up with all these fucking feelings so you grab one of the muffins Simon sent over and slip out the front door. The cool air kisses your skin as you lug your weighted blanket into the perfect position. Ah. Bliss. You make sure the porch light is off before completely settling in.

The routine is familiar and adds an element of normalcy that you so desperately need.

—

You’re woken up at precisely 4am by Simon and Georgie’s door creaking open and someone slipping out. You don’t even have to look to know that it’s Jamie. You can tell by his footsteps. He’s headed out for a run and doesn’t know you’re there because it’s still dark. You think you should probably head inside so he doesn’t see you when he gets back, but the thought is barely formed before you fall back to sleep.

—

You wake up again in your bed with the oddest sense of déjà vu. You know for certain you were asleep in the front of your house, and there’s no way you got yourself here. The weighted blanket is placed with care, covering you in all the right spots. You roll out of bed, throw on your robe, and pad downstairs to find out who’s making noises in the kitchen.

You round the corner to find Georgie making breakfast. “Morning love,” she says as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. “You hungry?”

You nod mutely and sit down as she hands you a plate.

“You need to lock your doors,” she says as she flips knobs on the stove. “You never know what sort of people could just walk into your house while you’re asleep on your porch.”

“Georgie,” you say slowly as she grabs a cup of coffee and sits across from you, “how did I get here?”

“What do you mean?” she asks, mug conveniently hiding her expression.

“I mean, I was outside. Then I woke up inside. And I know you and Simon didn’t get me there, so how did I get here?”

You don’t know why you’re even asking. The answer is obvious, isn’t it?

Georgie must think so too, because she doesn’t directly respond. Instead she says, “Had an interesting conversation with my son this morning. Came back from his run all flustered.”

You note the way she says my son, not “Jamie.” 

She continues, “Said he found a girl asleep out front. He was worried about her and I said not to, that’s just the girl we’re always having ‘round for tea, but he was having none of it. Said you’d be better off inside in your own bed, with someone to make sure the door was locked because you always forget to do it.”

Georgie sips her coffee again, looking straight through your eyes and down to your soul. “It’s funny, because he talked like he knows you. Odd, innit?”

You choke on your toast.

You gasp out, “Odd,” in agreement, but Georgie is still looking at you with those piercing blue eyes.

“You know my baby tells me everything,” she says. “Not always right away, but he does.”

You nod. There’s no salvaging this. You’re going to have to move again to Chelsea or someplace equally new and foreign, and it’s your own fault for never being honest.

You’re about to open your mouth to say I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, you’ll never see me again and it’ll be ok, when Georgie places her hand on yours.

“I love you like my own child,” she says. “And maybe that’s because I see myself in you. I don’t want you to get stuck in your head the same way I did. Which is why I think all you need is another chance. One where you’re told by more people than one that you’re loved and wanted, and most of all that you’re safe. Which is exactly what I told Jamie. He’ll be over here in about five minutes.”

She takes another sip of her coffee with her free hand as you choke again.

“Georgie,” you sputter, “he doesn’t even want to see me! He told you what happened. Oh my god, I need a hairbrush.”

“You’re wrong, love,” she calls after you as you rush to your bathroom, “He absolutely wants to see you.”

—

You’re thundering down the stairs exactly four minutes and fifty-eight seconds later just in time to hear Georgie answer the door and promptly exit, leaving you with Jamie. Jamie, who you haven’t seen in months.

This is going to be a shit show, you think, but then you remember everything Georgie has ever said to you. Including the phrase, “He absolutely wants to see you.”

You don’t have time to twist that into something negative because Jamie Tartt is standing in front of you in your kitchen looking like the best thing you’ve ever seen, and it’s taking every ounce of your self-control not to launch yourself into his arms.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out before he can say anything. “I shouldn’t have run away. I broke your heart on purpose and that was a shitty thing to do. And I’m sorry for becoming friends with your parents and not telling them. I should’ve handled it better.”

Jamie’s frowning. You wish his face were at least neutral.

He says, “You’re sorry,” as though he can’t believe those words are coming out of your mouth. You cringe a little. 

“Yeah,” you say, “I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. I know that doesn’t make anything better, but… I am.”

Jamie asks, “Why?” and you have no idea what he means.

“I just told you why I’m sorry,” you reply. “Not sure how much clearer you want.”

Jamie shakes his head. “No, fuck, I mean- why are you sorry? Why do you think you have something to apologize for?”

That catches you off guard. That’s not even remotely close to how you thought he would respond.

You’re trying to figure out what to say when Jamie starts talking again.

“Look- I knew what it was like for me mum when I was growing up. Sometimes you meet the wrong person and they fucking… fuck you up. So when you meet the right person, you’re all scared and it’s all shit so you do the things you should have done with the wrong person. And yeah, I was fucking wrecked when you left, but I understood. I’m me, and me is a lot.” 

The corners of your mouth turn up ever so slightly at the odd turn of phrase.

Jamie takes a breath. “What I’m saying is, maybe we have things to work on. But I want to work on them. With you. Not with someone else. Fucking hell, babe, I’ve never laughed as hard as when I’m with you. Like, imagine there’s this bird and she’s fit as fuck but then she talks and says the funniest shit and but then flips the switch and actually listens to what you have to say? Has actual empathy, like. It’s a fuckin’ breath of fresh air after being with the lads all day.”

“Right,” you say. “So you’re not mad at me?”

“Oh fuck no,” Jamie replies. “I was mad. Yeah. Proper mad. Got over it, though. Talked to Ted a lot, and Dr. Sharon. Worked through some of me own shit. Mummy says you’ve been working on your own shit too.”

You slowly nod. “Yeah, I have. It’s been alright. She gives me hope, you know? She has a perfectly wonderful life and she was able to get out of her own head long enough to enjoy it. Not let it slip through her fingers.”

You’re both silent for a moment. It’s been forever since you’ve seen Jamie up close, and you still find yourself lost in his eyes. 

You both have the same thought at the same time and suddenly your arms are wrapped around his middle and his are holding you tightly, his cheek resting on the top of your head. 

“I’m not letting you walk away again, yeah?” he says. “Mum’d fucking kill me if I did. You’re the only one I want anyway.”

You nod into his chest. “I love you so much,” you say, voice muffled. “I can’t believe that I get to have you.”

—

Jamie tells you over dinner that night that he’s the one who bought your flat. It’s waiting for you to come back. You finish out the month in Manchester then move home to Richmond.

A year later, there’s a forest and a picnic and a ring on your left hand. Eight months after that there’s a garden and starry lights hung in trees and a white dress. You’re surrounded by friends and family and a sign that says, the Tartts and glasses are clinking the whole night as you kiss someone who chose to be patient with you. You’re two people who saw exactly who the other was, and chose to love each other for it. 

Table of Contents

[thatsdemko]

a blue London - m.mount & c.pulisic

threes company

masterlist

pairings: mason mount x fem!reader & Christian pulisic x fem!reader

warnings: established relationship + not intended for minors + mentions of joão

a/n: THIS FIC WAS WRITTEN PRIOR TO THE BOYS TRANSFERS!!! missing these two in Chelsea blue dearly ☹️

he’s had enough of you. your dancing, singing, and tongue shoved down his teammates throats. it was his fault for saying you were nothing but friends, because now he’s regretting that.

now he’s watching you and joão make out in a corner booth of the club. his hands pressed against your ass, your hands in his thick brown hair— he hates all of this. he could vomit at the sight of it.

he knows your motives. he knows you’re doing this to get back at him for his comment, because you were so much more than friends. and right now, you wanted a little more than just friends with joão— hell or even the cute guy in the corner with a buzz cut, bright pearly smile that’s been blinding your vision for hours.

“can you give me a moment?” you pull away from him, body collapsing beside him on the cushion of the booth. all he can do was nod, you took the literal wind out of him, and it wasn’t just with your confidence, but everything you were doing to him was new. he knew why Christian wanted you all to himself.

your eyes caught his smile again, they were so bright and inviting. you wanted to curl up into that body, wanted him to press those pink lips against your skin.

“just go talk to him, looking at him won’t do anything.” joão runs his fingers through his messed up thick hair. as much as your eyes can’t pull away from joão and his beauty, you find yourself being lured into the man across the room, bodies intertwining almost instantly.

you’re not sure how it happened, or what even happened, because all of a sudden you’re in his arms, the next you’re in his car, and finally in his bed.

the lights are out, the rooms dark, but everything about him lights up the dark place. he worships your body like nobody before and shows you what soft, slow, intimate sex is like. the kind you and Christian never had. the kind with a climax and a story, the one that has you begging for more.

he doesn’t overstimulate you, time is just a number on the clock to him. your body and clit are all he cares about.

—

“did you have fun fucking mason?” Christian scoffs watching your limp body walk through the door. your legs are like jello, having a mind of their own. you feel sore in all the places you’ve never felt, but your mind is still on a rollercoaster from last night.

“he fucked me better than you ever did.” your laugh is dry, not a hint of sarcasm in it. you’re being real and genuine, which he hates. he wants to show you that he can be just as good, maybe even better.

“and joão? his tongue better than mine?”

“face it, pulisic, everyone is better than you.” you smirk trying to pass by him, but his hand on your arm stops you and is pulling you closer to him, “I know I’m the best you’ve ever had and those guys know nothing about your body.”

he saw the way joão grabbed your ass, he knew you hated the hand placement. he’s sure you probably hated that Mason took his time, or that he just didn’t have stamina, but none of that bothered you.

“show me you’re better, then we can talk.”

and he does show you, but in a way neither of them could’ve. in a way that scratches your brain and has your pussy throbbing for more.

maybe it wasn’t all that much better, but when competition is involved? everybody wants to win.

[sportswriters]

they're not worth it - m. mount

pairing: mason mount x female!reader | f | established relationship | wc: 894 | warnings: none

welcome post!

you had some hope that the result of man united's match against chelsea would be positive for the reds, but the blues eventually got the better of you and the game ended 4-3. your face clearly showed your unhappiness at the defeat, but that was something you could overcome. your unhappiness was more due to the fact that mason had played against his former club and had failed to take the lead, as well as being the target of angry comments from chelsea’s fans.

he would say no, but you knew that the whole situation with his former club was still affecting him. chelsea had been his home for a long time and parting with it wasn't an easy decision, but it wasn't his fault. however, no one cared about his side of the story, painting him as an ungrateful villain who abandoned the club.

you put your coat on properly and went down the side stairs that led to the pitch. the security guards had already been instructed to let you through, so there was no one trying to stop you from entering the pitch, mistaking you for an excited fan.

with the match already over, the players were dispersed, exchanging words with each other, drinking water and commenting on the game and everything else, although you only started to look for mason among all the others, seeing red and blue dots mixed together. but it didn't take long for your eyes to find him, you sighed and cracked a smile, ready to comfort him about his defeat, however when your feet moved towards him, your smile died at the sight of enzo fernández approaching to tease his former teammate.

“this is chelsea, you coward! you're a coward!” enzo said, slapping the chelsea shield on his shirt.

you heard those words and your blood boiled. mason wouldn't join in the provocation, he always keeps as far away from trouble as possible, even on the pitch, but you didn't. you couldn't hear those words being directed at your boyfriend and choose to keep quiet, seeing that all mason did was twiddle his thumbs in enzo's direction.

“hey, asshole, how about minding your own business?” you stepped closer, both of them turning to look at you. “maybe it's more worthwhile worrying about becoming a relevant player and not a shitty midfielder.”

“y/n...” mason called out, holding your hand.

“have you become a traitor too?” enzo shot, his expression closed, looking at you in your manchester united shirt through the gap in the front of your jacket.

you moved forward a little, but mason held you back, putting his arm around your waist this time.

“the only traitor here is your club!” you snapped, almost spitting, your teeth clenched in anger.

before things get any worse, mason pulled you away from the player and you snort. enzo eventually backed away too, but your anger was still there, burning. that idiot. everyone saw that mason tried everything in his power to stay at chelsea, but his efforts were only one-sided. he had every right, like everyone else there, to look for a better opportunity that valued him.

things had been difficult since he announced his departure from chelsea and signed for another premier league club, mainly because he hadn't had a good start to the season, but it didn't matter, you were always there for him, willing to make him believe that things would be better.

so he didn't need to hear those insults from anyone. he wasn't a coward.

“y/n.”

you took a deep breath and turned to mason. he had a soft expression on his face and you didn't know how he managed to deal with all those nasty comments without saying anything and still maintain an expression as calm as that.

“i'm sorry, i know i shouldn't have gotten carried away...” you started to say, but he interrupted you, keeping both hands on your waist.

“i love you,” he said.

your shoulders relaxed instantly and your heart soared at his genuine smile. there was no way to hate that man. why did people do that?

“thank you for standing up for me, not just today, but always,” he continued. “still, i'll keep telling you, darling, they're not worth it.”

you huffed, putting your hands on his shoulders.

“i know,” you agreed. “but i hate to see you being the target of these comments, mase. chelsea fans are so ungrateful.”

“the only comments i mind hearing are yours,” he added.

you raised one of your hands and caressed his cheek, looking him in the eye.

“so i hope you believe me when i say that you're not and never have been a coward. you're incredible and very good at what you do,” you said, sincerely.

he widened his smile and lightly pinched the skin around your waist.

“and...?” he encouraged and you knew very well what he was waiting for.

you rolled your eyes, but your smile widened too.

“and i love you.”

satisfied, he kissed you softly and you forgot that a few seconds ago you were angry, because now all you felt was your heart exploding, as the silent promise of looking after each other surrounded you. you were the only thing that mattered to him. the rest would always be the rest. and that included chelsea and their childish fans.

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Blind date (Tierna Davidson x Reader)

This is barely edited and I'm not sure if a museum like this even exists, but use your imagination. Hope you enjoy :)

Words: 2.5k

"Oi dumbass, get up," Tobin called from the bathroom before throwing a shoe at me when I didn't respond.

"Fuck off Tobin." I growled trying to go back to my nap.

"No, you have to get up."

"Why? There is literally nothing happening today."

"You have a date in a couple of hours that you need to plan."

I sat up, looking at her like she was crazy. A date was the last thing on my mind at the moment, the last thing I wanted to do, "What? With who?"

"You'll find out later."

Tobin didn't know who I had feelings for, but she knew they existed. Normally I would tell Tobin everything, but seeing as the person was her teammate, I decided against it for the time being,  "Tobin what the hell? You know I have feelings for someone, why the hell would you set me up?"

"Because you've been pining after this person for almost a year without any thought of asking her out. Either you ask her out or you go on this date."

"I don't want to do either. One will make things awkward and the other will make me lead a poor girl on."

She rolled her eyes, "Suck it up, it's one date. You'll live."

"How do I even know where to take her? I have no plan, I know nothing about her, not even her name. You could have given me more then a couple hours notice."

"She likes art, museums, photography, music and Italian food. That should help, you have to make a real effort on this. As for more warning, that would have given you more chance to make up an excuse to get out of it."

There was no getting out of this. Tobin was stubborn just like me, there was no way she was going to cancel and this mystery women was going to show up regardless. It wasn't the mystery girls fault, so with that little bit of information I started to make a plan, "Okay fine. Tell her to wear something nice, but casual." 

There was only an hour and a half until my date arrived, she was coming here first so Tobin could introduce us. I quickly made a call to one of my friends who happened to work at a nice Italian restaurant, there was a very slim chance of getting a reservation this late. Thankfully, my friend managed to come through and got the last reservation at her place.

After showering I got dressed changed into black skinny jeans, a maroon long sleeve button up, my black leather jacket and Chelsea ankle boots. As much as I didn't want this date I was going to put some effort in, after all it wasn't her idea so why take it out on her. Once dressed I moved onto my hair. My hair was shoulder length, red dyed hair. I was never one to put effort into my hair so I just went with a simple braid. There was a knock on the door as I was half way through the braid. Tobin yelled for me, "Hold your horses, I'll be out in a minute." I quickly finished the braid before heading back into the room. To my utter surprise, Tierna was standing next to Tobin. She was wearing light blue skinny jeans, a relaxed white blouse and a casual black blazer. 

Tierna was the girl I had developed feelings for. Being team photographer, I had spent a fair amount of time with her and the team which had led to many friendships formed. Though my feelings had developed fairly quickly which had stopped me from building much of a friendship with Tierna out of fear and awkwardness. I didn't know if Tobin knew about my feelings for Tierna, but it would be one hell of a coincidence if she didn't. 

I cleared my throat realising I had been staring for too long, "Uh hey Tierna."

Tierna smiled shyly, "Hi Y/n."

After a minute of slightly awkward silence, Tierna and I left the hotel. The slightly awkward silence continued as we walked down the street. Despite knowing Tierna, I had no idea where to even start a conversation. I struggled when not on a date with her, but I was even more nervous than normal. I had no idea if Tierna even liked me or if Tobin had set her up as well. 

"So um how did Tobin get you to agree to this?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Tiernas cheeks flush red. She always was adorable when she blushed. "She called me out for liking you which was terrifying because she's your older sister and I was worried about being murdered."

I laughed a bit at that. Tobin was only protective when she needed to be, she never cared about me dating, but as soon as I got hurt, you should be afraid. "Oh no, Tobin doesn't care until someone hurts me. Wait, you like me? How?"

"Uh yeah. You were just so genuine and funny when we first met, it just kind of happened. I thought I was hiding it pretty well by not interacting with you much when we were alone, but apparently she caught be staring and blushing a lot. How did you get roped into this?"

"Well Tobin told me about 2 hours ago about this date and I had no choice. I didn't think she knew about my feelings for you, I'm starting to question that though. Did she say anything about it?"

"She said you liked me. I didn't really believe her, but I figured I would take the chance and come up with something later if it backfired. I'm sorry you were put on the spot."

"It's okay, I'm not mad about it. Well not anymore anyway. Just kinda nervous that this will be a crap date given my time constraints. If I had known it was you, I would have tried harder to make it what you deserve."

Tiernas cheeks flushed once again as she looked anywhere, but at me, "Honestly, I've been wanting this for a while now so I'm sure whatever you planned will be perfect because it's with you. What are we doing anyway?"

My heart fluttered at her confession. I never would have imagined Tierna ever feeling the same way. I wanted it to be a surprise though, "You'll see."

We made small talk while we walked. I was still being slightly awkward, it was to be expected. I hadn't been on a date in over a year, even before that it didn't happen often. My focus was for a long time on getting my career where it is now. "So you own your own photography company right? You're just contracted to us?"

I started out as a low level photographer at some pet photography place, I worked incredibly hard and managed to book a few non pet related shoots. Things just grew from there, soon enough I was opening my own photography business, doing shoots from birthdays to weddings to pretty much anything people wanted. I had grown to have a few people working for me so when I got approached about working with the USWNT I decided to take the position because it meant getting more time with my sister. I was a little bit surprised when they did approach because normally they just hire someone. Tobin had confessed a few months later that she had showed them my work and hyped me up.

"That's amazing, your family must be proud."

"My parents took a while to come to terms with it, I wouldn't say they're proud though. Tobin is proud, but thinks I need to get out more, that there's more to life than a job."

"It's more than just a job for you though, isn't it? You created something from the ground up, the way you talked about it's clear you love what you do."

"For the longest time I had no idea what I wanted to do. I was always envious of Tobin for knowing exactly what she wanted. I studied business because that's what my parents wanted, but I hated it, guess it came in handy though."

Tierna stopped walking to look at me, curiosity covering her face, "Why photography? That's a big jump from business."

I started walking again, we had to get to the museum so we had time to have a proper look around before dinner. Also, spending too much time looking at Tierna made me even more nervous. This was probably the longest we had spent alone or spoken to each other. "I know right. There's not some big story behind it. One of my friends was an arts major and needed help with a photo one day. It was fun and I guess I was hooked. From there I just started doing it. To say the least, my parents didn't necessarily approve at first which in a way drove me to where I am now. Oh we're here."

The museum was a very large glass building, lit up on the outside by white lights. Tiernas expression instantly lit up with excitement as she kind of bounced up and down, "It's beautiful. I love museums. This is the one that just opened right?"

"Yup." I took her hand dragging her inside. What could I say? I was super excited. Once we were inside I became painfully aware that I was still holding her hand. She didn't make any move to pull it away though so I didn't either. Our hands remained joined as we walked around though as we walked we continued to get closer. At one point, Tierna ended up cuddled against my side as I rambled about something random. I don't think I've ever felt so flustered yet excited and comfortable at the same time. All I knew was I wanted that to happen more often.

This museum had a lot of different areas to it. It was pretty much all the different types in one. Science, space, history and art all in one. I'm pretty sure there was also a marine mammal section which for me is a close second to the space section. At heart I was a giant nerd, I loved it all especially space. The look on Tiernas face told me she loved it. It was a relief. This date didn't mean much it the beginning, it was just a forced thing. Now that I knew it was Tierna, I kind of wish I had done more. 

"While I could stay here all night, we have to go." Tierna pouted, I knocked her shoulder gently with mine to get her to stop, "Nope, stop that. We have dinner reservations so if you don't want to eat we can stay."

"Hmm fine, I guess I am hungry."

We left the museum, hands still intertwined. Walking down the street I listened to Tierna talk about all her favourite parts of the museum. She was rambling again, I didn't mind though. I liked listening to her talk. Her voice was soft and soothing yet slightly raspy. Yup, I didn't mind at all. We came to a stop outside the restaurant. It was a small family run Italian place, that had amazing food.

"No way, I love this place. Didn't Tobin only tell you about our date like 2 hours before? How did you get a reservation? This place is usually booked out on a Friday."

"My friend works here, she managed to get us in."

The awkwardness had long disappeared and conversation became easier. During dinner I got to know Tierna better. Anyone who knew Tierna knew she was on the more quiet side, but she easily talked about her childhood, likes, dislikes, hobbies and pretty much anything else. Turns out I loved listening to her talk. I was also paying special attention to her likes, dislikes and hobbies for future dates or gifts. I had every intention of spoiling Tierna if we our relationship developed. Tierna deserved the world and I would do my best to give it to her if she let me.  

Eventually our reservation time came to an end so we made our way outside. Tierna started shivering instantly so I slipped my jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders, "Here."

"You're going to be cold," Tierna protested.

"I'm fine, I don't get cold that easily. You need it more than me."

"Thank you. I know you didn't really want this, but I've had an amazing time tonight Y/n/n."

Tierna stepped closer as I retook her hand, lacing our fingers together. She pulled me closer so we were almost touching. "I've wanted this since we met T. This just wasn't how I wanted it to happen, but I'm also glad it did because I don't think I would have told you anytime soon."

I made the last move, pulling her in and connecting our lips in a slow kiss. It was tentative at first, both slightly unsure and nervous. After a few seconds, Tiernas hand cupped the back of my neck, deepening the kiss. My confidence rose with that, my arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her against me. Normally, kissing someone like this on a public sidewalk was not something I would ever do, PDA made me incredibly uncomfortable, but I was finally kissing the girl I've wanted for almost a year. Let's just say it felt incredible. When air became a problem, we slowly pulled away, a smile spread across my face as a giggle slipped out. There wasn't anything else planned for tonight, though I really didn't want the night to end yet. 

I racked my mind for anything that we could do when I remembered an ice cream shop that was open late, "Do you want to get ice cream and walk along the pier? I know a place that's still open."

Tierna cuddled against my side as we started walking again, "I would love to."

"Good because I don't want tonight to end yet."

Tobin smirked as I flopped down on my bed with a no doubt dopey smile. It was well after midnight so I was slightly hoping Tobin was asleep. I didn't want to deal with her smugness, not when there was still some resentment there.

"So how was the date?"

"How long have you known about my feelings?"

"A little while now. You're not really shy unless feelings are involved and normally you will talk to anyone, but you always got shy around T, you never really interacted much with her, always looking at her when she wasn't paying attention. Now how was the date?"

"It was really good. Thank you Toby."

"Anytime."

"No, literally never do this again. You have no idea how pissed I was at you, then how nervous I was that my plan wasn't good enough for Tierna. I know she liked it, but if I ever got the chance I wanted to make it really special. Like she deserves."

"I'm sorry, I just didn't think you would believe me if I told you she like you. It went well though? Did you make your move?"

I recounted our night as I got ready for bed, already knowing I would be too excited to sleep. Tierna and I were going out for brunch tomorrow. While I used to try my best to not be alone with her, now I couldn't wait to see her again. I couldn't wait to see how our relationship developed. 

[babygirlbenji]

I Still Love You - Mason Mount

A/N: This is a long-awaited part 2 to Last Train To London which you can read here! I worked really hard on it and I hope it lives up to expectations. Enjoy!

Warnings: mild angst, mild swearing, fluff

WC: 2.8k

When your train pulled into London King’s Cross, Ben was there, as promised, to pick you up with a McDonald’s meal. He took you under his wing, and let you stay at his place for the night.

‘Make yourself comfortable, sweets, and please know you can stay here as long as you need.’ You knew you had an offer from Sophia and Kai to crash at their place until you got back on your feet, but you didn’t want to intrude on their space. 

‘I might take you up on that offer, Ben, thank you.’ He showed you around his place, making sure you knew where everything was in case you couldn’t sleep, let you have free rein of the fridge, freezer and cupboards, and even let Oscar the dog stay in your room, which Oscar was more than happy to oblige. 

‘I think that’s everything. If you need me, text me, okay? I’m right here.’ You shuffled over to him and wrapped your arms around his torso to give him a hug you’d needed for weeks at that point. He rubbed your back affectionately. He was like a big brother to you, and you were more grateful than you could ever put into words for his support.

You had expected that night to have been sleepless and anxious, but you were simply too exhausted, both mentally and physically, that by the time you changed into your pyjamas, brushed your teeth and climbed into bed, your eyes were drooping already. Oscar jumped onto the bed and turned around a couple of times, making a nice little den in the blanket for him to snuggle up next to you in. You reached out to fiddle with his curly fur. The dog was like a weighted blanket, reassuring you that you were safe and you were okay. Before you knew it, you were fast asleep.

As the days, weeks and months rolled by, you could feel yourself slowly healing. Ben, Reece and the rest of the Chelsea boys, along with Kai and Jorgi over at Arsenal (they were still very much part of the inner circle), stood stoically beside you every step of the way. You had initially distanced yourself from Stamford Bridge for the first couple of months, the memories you had made there with Mason all too painful, but you gradually made your way back into the hallowed halls of the iconic stadium. You attended matches whenever you could, and started to wear CHILWELL 21 shirts to matches. 

This had not gone unnoticed by fans. They had quickly cottoned on to the fact that you had gone back to London and Mason was still in Manchester. The gossip websites were in full swing, linking you and Ben together and writing spiteful articles about how you were a gold-digger, how you hopped from one football player to another, how it was your fault that your relationship had ended… You never minded, though. You continued on your healing journey and went about your daily business. You had secured a well-paying job back in London as an events planner in Soho, and had managed to find a nice little studio flat not too far from your office. Ben had insisted he buy you a new car, as you had sold your car up in Manchester to help bring some money in to pay for the flat deposit. Your life was most definitely on the up, and it would take a gigantic storm to blow you off course.

That gigantic storm came about a year after you moved back to London. You had your routine, you were solid in your job and you met up with Ben and the boys regularly. 

One such outing in Knightsbridge, Ben pulled you aside to have a chat.

‘What’s up, Benji?’ The nickname you had for him was one only you could use. He hated being called Benji by everyone, but you were basically his little sister. In his eyes, you could get away with murder.

‘Well, um…’ His face told you he had information he would rather not give you, but felt it was his moral obligation to do so anyway.

‘Come on, Ben, out with it!’

‘Declan’s invited me and Mason to his birthday party, and he’s invited you, too.’ His words sent a chill down your spine. You hadn’t spoken to or about Mason in months, although that hadn’t stopped you from thinking about him every day. Thinking about what could have been, thinking about the ‘what ifs’, thinking about what you could have done to make him stay in love with you. You were brought back to earth by Ben putting a gentle hand on your shoulder. ‘You don’t have to decide just yet, but the offer is there if you did want to go. It would be great to have you there.’ He gave you a quick hug, before he went back to join the rest of the group to have drinks, leaving you with your thoughts and a large decision to make. While you would love to celebrate Declan with your friends, you hadn’t seen or heard from Mason in a year. The awkwardness was what worried you the most, along with the possibility of all the emotions coming back if you did end up running into him. Because deep down, in your heart, you knew that you still loved him. He was the absolute love of your life, and you couldn’t help but feel that he was your one that got away. You realised then just how much you missed him. 

The night had swiftly come to an end for you, so you messaged Ben to let him know that you were on your way home and that you’d see him soon. 

Benjamin: No worries J  text me when you get home, and let me know if you’re coming to Dec’s birthday bash. We’d love to have you but I know you’ll have to decide. LOVE YA X

It was safe to say you didn’t get much sleep that night. You were awake for hours, tossing and turning, thinking about what Ben had said. It would be great to go and show up for Declan. He’d been there for you through everything, even with Lauren giving birth to little Jude. They had both made space for you in their busy lives with a new-born, and you couldn’t have been more grateful. Before you could stop yourself, you sent a message to Ben:

To: Benjamin: Been thinking about it all night. Sorry for the late message, I figured I needed to say it before I think about it more lol. I’ll be at Dec’s party x

You rolled over onto your side. There was no turning back now. 

The day of the party arrived. Your room was a mess, dresses and shoes strewn across the floor. You wanted to find the perfect outfit for a party, which would show that you cared to make an effort but not too much effort, on the off chance you would see Mason. 

Your eyes fell upon a navy blue bodycon dress that you had worn a couple of times before. It came down to your mid-thigh and had a neckline that did your bust some considerable favours. Finally feeling more positive about what you were wearing, having started to feel like you were going to have a breakdown about not being able to find anything appropriate to wear, you shoved on a pair of simple black heels and touched up your makeup. There was a knock at your door. Checking your phone, the time was 7:30; Ben was picking you up and he had arrived bang on time. 

‘Coming!’ Your voice carried into the hall as you opened the door to find Ben, who was wearing a smart navy-blue button down with black slacks. Your mind briefly registered the fact that the colour of his shirt was basically a direct match to your dress.

‘Hey, you,’ he smiled, leaning in to give you a hug. Your senses were temporarily hazy by his cologne, which you painfully recalled as one that Mason had recommended to him as you had liked it on Mason. On Ben, though, it didn’t have the same knee-weakening effect as it had done for you when Mason wore it. ‘You good?’ He had obviously taken your quietness as nervousness.

‘Yeah, yeah, I’m good. You?’ He nodded. You could tell he was searching your face for any signs of discomfort, of not wanting to go, of being terrified of seeing Mason. 

‘All good. Mostly just worried about you.’ You shrugged.

‘I’ll be fine. Got my wingman, I’ll be okay.’ You shared a laugh as you walked downstairs to where he had a car waiting. He held the door open for you, letting you slide in with him following you. 

You and Ben spent the journey talking about your days and what you’d got up to, how your job was going, what antics he and the boys got up to at training and other small talk. He didn’t want to say anything, as he could tell you were nervous enough as it was, but he knew you well enough to know that you missed Mason almost as much as Mason missed you. You were quiet, reserved, not your usual bubbly self. If you were being completely honest with yourself, you hadn’t been your usual bubbly self since the breakup. Ben knew you loved Mason, but he never thought the breakup would impact you as much as it did. 

 Before long, the car pulled up at Declan’s house. The nerves in the pit of your stomach started doing backflips as you went up to the front door. Loud bass was audible through the walls, and you could tell there was a large crowd already, even though it was early by most people’s standards. You just wanted to stay for a couple of hours at the most before quietly leaving, all ideally without seeing Mason. 

That plan quickly went out the window when Declan opened the door, arm in arm with Mason. 

‘Hey guys! Oh…’ Declan’s wide grin disappeared the minute he saw it was you and Ben, clearly thinking you were someone else. The awkwardness was palpable. ‘Hey Y/N, Ben, glad you guys could make it!’ Dec brought you in for a hug, whispering an ‘I’m so sorry’ in your ear as he did so. 

‘Don’t worry,’ you replied in an equally quiet voice, hoping he could hear you over the music. The squeeze he gave you told you he had heard you. 

You avoided Mason’s eyes completely as Ben and Declan caught up, Ben asking about life at Arsenal and how Declan was finding his new club. 

‘I’m gonna get a drink, did you want anything?’ You asked Ben at a break in the conversation. Mason’s eyes raked over you as you got close to Ben, one of your hands absent-mindedly on his arm. Jealousy raged in his stomach. 

‘Just a beer, please, gorgeous,’ Ben replied. His usual pet-name for you was innocuous for the both of you, but took on a whole new meaning in Mason’s head. Why was he calling you gorgeous? Why were you touching him? Were the tabloids correct? Had you gone for his former teammate in the wake of the breakup? Mason’s head was reeling. 

You handed Ben his drink and wandered off to mingle with some of the Arsenal WAGS, introducing yourself to Martin Ødegaard’s new girlfriend and giving Milly, Ben White’s new wife, a big hug to congratulate her, as you hadn’t been able to attend the wedding. 

Neither Declan or Ben missed the fact that Mason’s eyes rarely left your form for more than a few seconds as he watched you chat and catch up with some old friends. 

‘How are you, Mase, United treating you well?’ Ben asked conversationally. 

‘Yeah, ‘s alright.’ Eyebrows were raised at Mason’s curt tone. Ben and Declan exchanged confused glances, before leaving Mason to his thoughts and continuing into the party to see some of the other guys who had made an appearance. Mason was left with his thoughts as he stood and pondered his next move. 

As he was doing so, he saw you excuse yourself from the small throng of people to head to the kitchen to scope out the buffet. He seized his opportunity and followed you into the kitchen.

What he couldn’t have known was that instead of grabbing something to eat, you were having to physically stop yourself from having a full-blown panic attack. Gripping the counter with your hands and keeping your head bowed, you focused on keeping your breathing deep. 

You had no idea how many minutes had passed, but an all-to-familiar voice brought you back to earth with an almighty bump.

‘Y/N? You okay?’ You turned, and before you knew it, you were face-to-face with the person you never thought you’d see again. ‘Y/N?’ he asked again.

‘Y-yeah, I’m okay.’ You had suffered with anxiety and panic attacks throughout your relationship, and Mason had always known how to help you. 

‘You sure?’ A deep, shaky breath rattled through your body. You both knew the after-effects of the panic attack were the worst part of it all. You would feel exhausted, ashamed, guilty… But he had always been there to help you through it all. He would offer you cuddles, a listening ear, a movie, whatever you needed. 

Things were so different now, though. There was a rift the size of the Atlantic Ocean between you, and you didn’t know how to get across it. 

‘Let’s get you somewhere quiet, come on.’ He hesitated, before holding out his hand for you to hold. ‘You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.’ But you realised you wanted to. You needed him, you needed his touch, his hold. You reached out and grabbed his hand, immediately feeling like you had been connected with the earth again. 

He led you upstairs to one of the far guest rooms, opened the door and followed you in. You took a seat on the bed, fiddling with your hands in your lap. He sat on the floor in front of you, eyeing you carefully. 

‘You sure you’re okay?’ You sighed. A big, deep sigh. Now that you had him in front of you, the questions you’d held in for a year were threatening to spill over. 

‘Can I ask you something?’ The look on his face suggested that he knew what you were going to ask, but he nodded, all the same. ‘Why did you stop putting effort into our relationship? You always said that I was the love of your life, that I was it for you… what happened? What happened to us?’ He sighed, similar to how you had sighed earlier.

‘Honestly, Y/N, I don’t have a good reason. I wish I did, believe me, but I don’t. The media scrutiny, the fans giving me shit on social media, the move, everything to do with it, it all just got to me. I pushed you away without even realising and for that, I will never be able to apologise enough.’ You pondered his answer, and then debated asking a question you had longed to know the answer to since the day you left but were too scared to know the answer to. 

Before you could ask it, though, Mason spoke up. ‘Are you seeing Ben?’ The gravity of his question made you pause. 

‘What?’ 

‘Are you and Ben, you know, a thing?’ You shook your head.

‘No. He’s like a brother to me, Mase, you know that. All the boys are. When I met you, you gave me a whole new family I could only have dreamed of.’ Your eyes met again. His eyes hadn’t changed a bit. They were still the deep chocolate brown you’d found home in for all those years. 

You climbed down from the bed and sat with your back to the bed. Your mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to figure out how to ask the question you were starting to crave the answer to. You felt like the answer to it was yes, but you needed to be sure. Finally, you decided to just go for it.

‘Do you… do you still love me?’ The look on his face said it all. He was looking at you like he had never seen you before, as if you were the only woman in the entire world. And to him, you were. You were everything to him and he would be forever kicking himself for ever making you feel like you weren't. He scooted forward to crouch in front of you before gently holding your face with both hands. 

‘Y/N Y/LN, of course I still love you. And if you’ll have me, I’ll spend the rest of my days loving and cherishing you the way you deserve. The way I should have shown you from day one.’ Your eyes brimmed with tears as you looked at the man who had your heart. 

‘Of course, I’ll have you.’ You sat up and collapsed into his arms, finally feeling that you were home once again.

[j0kers-light]

Y/n being as crazy as Joker.....but can sorta hide it.

Imagine joker sitting at the table, trying to think of a way to carry out a robbery but every plan he thinks of had a fault and it's stressing him out. Without thinking y/n just blurts out a plan that is mind-blowing and perfect. She just says 'it's the voices in my head'.

However the plan goes left because some goon did something stupid. Joker gets caught by the batman and is sitting at the back of the police car in hand cuffs being sent to the asylum. When the police officer talks to him, he recognises the voice and the eyes from the rearview mirror and its his bunny blended in as a cop. Recklessly driving away and ending up in a car chase with many police cars and even a helicopter on their tail.

His Lighthouse: Paint the Town Red (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Paint the Town Red - Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER UPDATE!

OOOOOOOOOOh my GOSH! Thank you to the moon and back @chelsea-xxx2003 for your patience! This request was a long time coming but I love love love loved writing it! This request is so old it makes me wanna hide in the box of shame!

But anyhoo!!! I hope you enjoy my love! Thank you once again for your patience (omg😭 please don't hate me!!) and if its not to your tastes, let me know! I can try again!🖤✨

Of course the song that inspired the plot 🤭

taglist:

@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @clemdango04 @l3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher @ins0mniac-whack @spaghettificationandpretzels @reneisance @alittlesmartcookie @ninacutebee16 @carydorse @jaysmentalspace

Let me know if you wish to be added to the official His Lighthouse taglist! Be alerted with any oneshots and the main story updates! 🖤✨

The saying, “You are known by the company you keep” could be misconstrued in so many ways.

For how can someone say they truly know a person?

Joker felt that he knew you both inside and out; his stubborn yet highly intelligent Y/n. He loved you to a toxic degree and he knew the feelings were mutual.

He’d only known you for a year, but he knew the itty bitty details that made you unique. You were quiet when necessary and rowdy at the most inopportune times. Your literary skills were profound at the cost of your social prowess.

J loved how you stumbled your way through conversations and your cute little um’s were to die for! But if given a pen and paper, you could move the masses with your words.

In Joker’s eyes you were just shy of being perfect. Sweet, innocent—you couldn’t harm a fly. He thought he knew his soft-spoken Bunny.

Come to find out: he didn’t know you at all.

Your dining room table was a war zone of stationery and mindless clutter.

Joker had parked himself there early this morning and had not moved since. You brought him breakfast and snacks but he would only grumble a quick, “Thanks Bun” to you before resuming his work. He was so fixated on this new heist idea that nothing else mattered. He couldn’t focus on anything if it wasn’t the blueprints in front of him or his phone that would chime with more reliable intel.

Come to think of it, you didn’t see him take a bathroom break. This robbery couldn’t be that important. You tried to get his attention despite failing every time.

Nothing was getting through to your dark clown, so you stopped trying.

You could tell planning was stressing him out, but once J was in his thinking mode, either he would finish or throw a murderous tantrum until he figured it out. All you had to do was wait for the outcome.

In the meantime, something you loved about Joker was his handwriting. It resembled nothing of the infamous madman. His penmanship was legible and slightly feminine with hints of cursive in unexpected places. Only Joker could get away with writing slaughter in pretty script. You did not expect him to have neat writing. It was a huge contrast to his deranged mental state.

It was soothing to watch J hunch over his notebook plotting out his next heist. There were so many intricate details that ultimately found their way into his notes—and you got to see the magic unfold in real time. You almost missed him groaning at the ceiling. He finally stopped plotting and started mumbling to himself under his breath.

A tantrum was imminent, so you decided to intervene before he went out and started killing innocent people.

“What’s bothering you, J?” You asked him.

His stressed-out green eyes immediately found yours from across the room.

You watched his pupils dilate taking in your beauty. You tried not to let his awe-struck reaction get to your head and instead focused your attention on his response.

“It's nothing to worry that uh.. pretty little head of yours with, Bunny. Am I... bothering you sittin’ here?” He gestured to his mess at the table while raking a hand through his dirty hair.

He needed to wash it but if he was going out, he needed to dye it. You would miss his natural sun kissed strands until the green faded out. A pity he covered up something so beautiful.

You shook your head, walking closer to him. “You are never a bother, J. I just came to see if you needed anything. You know... like a break.”

You made grabby hands at Joker’s hair and waited for him to voice his consent.

With a happy squeal, you carded your fingers through his greasy locs. The texture was a bit unusual, but it was an honor to touch Joker in such an intimate way that you overlooked your own discomfort to establish his.

Joker’s head fell back against your stomach in bliss. Your nails felt so good on his scalp, all his thoughts about the upcoming mission just melted away.

It was crazy how you automatically knew how to calm him down. J purred under your touch and you smiled at the overgrown cat at your mercy. This man worked so hard, he never stopped to take breaks and care for himself. He was blessed to have you around to remind him.

Not much it did with the stubborn clown, but the thought was appreciated.

The snacks you brought J were left untouched except for the sugary treats you added last minute. Joker and his sweet tooth. You rolled your eyes and they landed on his scattered plans.

From your advantage point, you could read everything from over Joker’s shoulder.

The heist was thoroughly thought out even in its rough planning phase.

Joker planned to rob the mob run bank in downtown Gotham, but you noticed there was something missing to tie it all together. He couldn’t seem to figure out how to access the bank’s service panels on the roof. You skimmed over the goons’ hired for the job. They were familiar names from your past and you remembered their individual skill sets. You knew who needed to be where to extract their ultimate usefulness.

The heist was scheduled to be done at the day’s end so that Joker could blend in with the district's school buses that drove by the bank everyday like clockwork.

It was perfect. Too perfect, hence why Joker circled alarm panel three times in red marker at the top of his notes and underlined, eliminate idiots twice.

There were open gaps within his idea. He didn’t know how to fill them.

Your poor clown was overthinking this and his little doodles on the plan’s margins were a sign of his restlessness. The solution was so easy; you couldn’t stop yourself from spelling it out for him.

“Baby.. have John John and Razor zip-line from the adjacent office building down onto the roof. John John can access the alarm panel and disable it. He’s got more situational awareness than Razor, so he’ll regroup with the two idiots you stormed the bank with. Tell them... it's only five shares, they’ll off each other to hoard all the money for themselves. Greed will have them turning their guns on their own accomplices. You won’t have to do a thing but watch. Before the bus gets there, there should be only one guy left. That way...”

You leaned down to kiss Joker’s scarred cheek. “You can kill him and the bus driver and make off with the cash. Easy.”

You resumed stroking his hair as if you didn’t solve his day long conundrum.

It was a mind blowing and perfect plan, one that he could’ve crafted if he weren’t so stressed but coming from his Bunny—it was even more diabolical. It was a glimpse at a darker side of you that he’d never seen before. He honestly didn’t know one existed.

He turned to stare at you in disbelief and you had the audacity to look surprised.

“I’m sorry, did I scratch too hard?”

You were worried about his hair rather than the plan you just orchestrated on the fly. How did you string it together?

He glanced down at his unfinished notes scattered on the table. Frost still had trouble decoding Joker’s long code, it was so complex, but you managed to decipher it and fill in the blanks within minutes.

“Can ya read that doll?” J pointed to his notes.

Were you not supposed to? It was clear as day, but you didn’t want to hurt Joker’s feelings if he didn’t like his own handwriting or something.

Joker stood up slowly, seeing you hesitate. He hoped he was just overthinking this.

There was no way his precious Light was some secret criminal mastermind. You wouldn’t harm a fly, yet he couldn’t ignore how easily you read his coded text. No one was supposed to unless they had previous skill in certain circles.

You sensed a shift in Joker’s demeanor and quickly backtracked.

“Um well, I.... I mean not really, no! The um voices in my head.. kinda filled in the gaps? Perks of being a writer, I guess? We can read anything! You have pretty handwriting if that’s the problem! Haha.. Wow! Would you look at the time? A-Are you hungry? I was thinking lamb stew with some fufu for lunch!”

You laughed and all but sprinted towards the kitchen, leaving a perplexed Joker staring after you.

Perks of being a writer? Was he really supposed to believe that? Although he did blush at the compliment you made towards his penmanship. You somehow managed to talk your way out of his suspicions with your sweet nature.

Joker watched as you washed your hands and forgot about the odd moment altogether. Watching you cook was the perfect way to distract Joker. It must’ve been a fluke for you to be able to read his code.

But why did he have the feeling you were hiding something?

Your plan was so foolproof, Joker didn’t change a single thing.

The day of the hit came, and everything went smoothly as if you personally knew the mindset of his hired goons. They played their part as pawns perfectly and Joker was able to drive the school bus out of the bank with no issues. His Light was secretly a genius!

What neither of you predicted was the loyalty of the bus drivers in front and the one behind Joker’s decoy.

Despite the hush money given, they still snitched to the GCPD, and the authorities had Joker surrounded by the time he broke off from the fleet. He couldn’t put up much of a chase in the worn-down vehicle and was quickly apprehended.

There was nothing Joker could do to get himself out of being hauled back to Arkham by his arch-nemeses, Batman.

J’s triumphant day was instantly a catastrophic failure.

The caped crusader was standing around, giving Jim Gordon the rundown of events as if he did all the work. They were talking for almost an hour now with no end in sight! All Joker could think about in the meantime was how many strings he had to pull to break out of Arkham to get back home to you.

He didn’t want you to worry when the news of him being captured aired. It was an inevitable outcome within the relationship, one that you mentally prepared for; but Joker had always planned on saying goodbye should this situation arise.

Joker hardly gave you a kiss when he snuck out your apartment for this robbery. He was so confident in your plan that he didn’t fathom the possibility of being caught and skipped his traditional goodbye. It was a small mistake that he regretted terribly.

Without a doubt, Joker knew you would sit up all night waiting for him only for a breaking news bulletin to squash your hopes of his return.

Escapes from Arkham took careful planning months in advance and eight times out of ten, they ended in failure. Joker couldn’t survive a day without his Light. Now he would be separated from you for an undisclosed amount of time before he could even begin plotting an escape. He was screwed.

He banged his head against the window in anger. Jim and Batman glanced over at the noise and didn’t notice a rookie cadet snatch the handcuff keys away from Jim’s belt.

Joker’s world was crumbling fast and the voices in his head were making things worse.

What will Bunny think deserting her like this?

She’ll never love you again for leaving without a word.

You’re gonna lose her forever.

No one said anything about the rage filled tantrum Joker was having in the backseat. They could hear his yelling and saw how the car was rocking violently as he flipped out.

Batman spent enough time talking with the Commissioner. It was time to transport Joker before he grew too volatile and risked an escape attempt.

Jim turned around and got the attention of a cop he trusted. “Hey, Cruz! You and the rookie take the clown back to the precinct. We’ll follow after we finish here.”

Cruz nodded and slapped his newly appointed partner’s arm. “Hah! Let’s go rookie. You drive.”

Joker was still fighting against his restraints when he spotted the two cops approaching the vehicle.

He found it odd that Batman wasn’t escorting him straight to Arkham Island. Instead, two average looking police officers were tasked with the job. Much to his amusement, one of the cops stuck another with a needle about halfway to the car.

Cruz crumbled to the ground and was dragged out of view of the surrounding GCPD officers. It wasn’t an unusual sight to see a corrupted cop and for that Joker didn’t raise an eyebrow at the sight.

He grew curious when the rookie hopped into the car and cranked it up.

They didn’t waste any time stepping on the gas pedal and flooring it straight out of the parking lot. It was only after they drove through the police barricade did a fellow cop shout, “HEY!” thus alerting the squadron of the situation.

Shouts rang out in attempts to pierce the tires, but the cruiser was screeching away like a bat out of hell. Joker couldn’t balance himself being handcuffed as he was.

He tumbled roughly into the door and had a mind to complain about it. “Who taught ya how to drive?!”

He was unsure if this person was his savior but his answer came when other GCPD vehicles gave chase. Even more surprisingly, the Batmobile was not in pursuit just yet.

“I know how to drive, thank you very much.” The erratic driver mumbled towards the backseat.

Joker’s head shot up hearing the voice. There was no way.

Despite the fast speeds and harrowing turns, he managed to right his balance and peer through the dividing glass at the driver. Your e/c locked eyes with his shocked green through the rearview mirror.

“Y/n?” Joker was sent headfirst into the passenger side door after you made a sudden turn onto the highway, literally on two wheels. Okay that jerk felt a little intentional.

J shook off the pain and overheard you laughing in the front seat. He was in shock seeing this rare side of you. Was he dreaming?

Joker almost didn’t recognize his Bunny dressed undercover—mainly due to the scarlet red wig you wore. This had to be a dream. Your e/c eyes were wild with excitement and much to his horror, there was a natural ease to you.

You were in your element speeding down the highway with an apprehended criminal in the back seat.

The police cars caught up and opened fire, yet you laughed at their pathetic attempts even as a few gunshots cracked the back windows of your cruiser. The odds were stacked against you, however you continued, swerving in and out of traffic, causing wrecks and utter chaos in your wake.

You spotted a familiar SUV driving parallel to you and waved at the driver. Joker was about to ask if you knew them when they introduced themselves in a bold fashion.

Two men leaned out the backseat windows and returned fire at the police. Their aim was true and hit the police tires, stopping them in their tracks.

Joker was speechless. How was any of this happening?

His brain didn’t have time to process anything when a helicopter highlighted the car from above. You groaned in anger but reached over to grab a walkie talkie.

“Up top! Up top! Up top!” You chimed into the device.

Then it finally clicked to J. Somehow you were in on this daring escape. He didn’t care about his fate; you were the only concern on his mind.

Joker banged his bound hands onto the divider glass to get your attention. “Bunny! This is dangerous! Ya gotta stop!”

All you did was roll your eyes and scoff. “Mm that’s cute coming from you!” You shifted gears when you spotted something up ahead. “Thank God! Our backup has arrived!”

Joker glanced out the window and only saw Gotham civilians trying to get out the way and the all black SUV shooting back at the GCPD. That wasn’t backup? He didn’t understand anything at this point. The spotlight overhead was keeping you and him visible to the authorities so what could you possibly have in mind to escape?

“What are ya talkin’ about doll?! What backup?” Joker saw twin 18 wheelers up ahead open their hatches. His green eyes widened at the heat they were packing.

What he didn’t see was two more SUVs entering the highway, already aiming at the police helicopter with rockets.

In response to his question, all he received was your maniacal laughter as you reached one hundred and twenty miles per hour. From there, everything happened simultaneously.

You spotted the tank Batman called a car fast approaching and radioed to your men. “Light em up, boys.”

Your cruiser whizzed past the two trucks and the now three support SUVs at the precise moment they blocked the highway and unleashed their weaponry on the unsuspecting police.

It was a war zone. News outlets later on reported that the highway sustained so much damage, it would need to be repaved.

A brave civilian caught the battle from the southbound lanes on his cell phone and it was a literal massacre to witness.

The helicopter was shot down and exploded in a fireball onto the first two cop cars leading the chase. Once a wall of fire separated the GCPD from you and Joker’s getaway car, your goons opened fire and brutally murdered the rest of the fleet of police officers.

Batman tried to save the day but his tank suffered heavy structural damage from the RPGs and other arsenal fired at it.

The bat had no other choice but to flee the scene.

The authorities were severely outgunned and quickly outmanned by a few criminals. Jim Gordon was at the end of the chase and his face paled seeing the insignia painted on one of the 18 wheelers.

It was his cue to call out the immediate, fallback orders to his men. But it was already too late.

It had been decades since Jim Gordon had seen the haunting image of a cobra coiling around a bouquet of nightshade.

The Mors Atra Lux Syndicate. Their Latin translation meaning; death is a dark light. They were the deadliest gang in the east, dating back as far as the Great Roman Empire. And now their current leader was making their stand here in Gotham City by allying with The Joker.

The ominous air was palpable. This was the beginning to a very long bloodbath.

But it wasn’t that deep to you.

All you did was call in a favor the second you saw Joker landing himself into trouble during his heist. You were worried about his poor choice of a getaway vehicle right from the beginning. The school bus would help him blend in, but after separating from the yellow procession, he would be vulnerable.

And you couldn’t have been more correct. Through surveillance and radio, you watched Joker be apprehended. It was now or never, and you acted fast.

You called your uncle and exhausted your one-time favor to rescue Joker.

The consequences of your actions would sink in later. You didn’t care that asking for help was your Defacto swearing in ceremony into the gang. There was no way out once you got involved.

None of that mattered as you exited the highway and drove to the predetermined meet up spot. Joker had yet to stop yelling in your ear.

He was giving you a mouthful about the events that were unfolding around him. He too recognized the ancient gang’s insignia and its importance. The Mors Atra Lux Syndicate was the greatest active gang in the world and to have them as an ally was legendary.

His mind was still reeling to discover his Bunny was affiliated!

You screamed whenever there was a bug in the apartment. He shielded you from his own organization due to your intolerance to violence. That’s the Y/n he thought he knew.

His Light wasn’t pure as he thought.

That much was evident when you pulled into an abandoned junk yard, turned off the car, and faced him. “SHUT UP, J! Just.... be quiet, I can’t hear myself think!!” You closed your eyes as Joker stared at you in horror.

You were mumbling to yourself with an eerie smile on your face. Whatever you were discussing was resolved for you quickly composed yourself and grabbed the keys to unlock his handcuffs.

You joined him in the backseat and without hesitation, you grabbed Joker by the neck to kiss him.

He wished it was the interaction mutual but the shock factor of discovering your dark side was hindering his ability to function properly. Just how deep was your affiliation? Should he be intimidated or aroused?

You caught onto Joker’s wary demeanor.

You smoothed down his wind tossed hair, “I’m sorry baby, I’ll explain m-more later but right now? We need to get you somewhere safe.” Your attention wavered after hearing a car door close.

Joker sputtered seeing you pull a gun from your waistline. It even had a silencer on it, he was impressed!

Thankfully you didn’t need it, yet he knew you were a seasoned warrior based on your stance. This wasn’t your first rodeo. You had nothing but murder on the mind and a steady hand.

You recognized your first cousin Flex approaching from his armored SUV and lowered your weapon.

“Bella.” He nodded at you before giving Joker the up down. He wouldn’t judge your choice of a partner. “We’ll take care of him from here.” Flex noted.

Joker was positively mind blown. He waited until you freed his hands to ask. “Uhhhh.. Bella? Is that your err real name, Y/n?”

You and Flex snorted. You hugged your cousin and whispered something in his ear as Joker looked on, growing more and more annoyed by the second.

Finally, you replied to J’s question. “No. Its an honorific in our Syndicate. Flex will take you to your hideout. Don’t. Kill. Him. I won’t be able to save you if you anger the order. I’ll see you at home for dinner, okay J?”

You kissed him one more time and smoothed out his suit, as if you didn’t pull off a highly dangerous recovery mission to free him.

Joker’s head was spinning as you urged him to follow Flex back to the car. Nothing made sense. Everything Joker thought he knew about you was apparently a lie.

You were already destroying the cruiser’s license plate and removing your wig to revert back to your harmless civilian look. You fluffed out your natural curls and then proceeded to coat the cop car in gasoline. The fire started inside the vehicle as Flex cranked up his SUV.

Joker watched you stay behind, staring at the growing flames with that eerie smile on your face. He was staring at a stranger. A devil in disguise. He thought he knew his soft-spoken Bunny.

Come to find out: he didn’t know you at all.   

[bbgnyx]

hiya! thought i’d send in my song req!!

song name: cigarette duet by princess chelsea!

pairing: any skz member or even ot8 x fem reader?

description: reader has been smoking for a while and the boys find out? they’re mad at her for smoking and they stop talking to her.. she disappears and they think it’s their fault but she is secretly in rehab trying to quit smoking?

an: hey anon sorry its so late!! hope you like it!

pairing:!ot8 x fem!reader

Standing on the balcony, you inhaled the smoke from your cigarette, mesmerized by the moon's radiant glow illuminating the night sky. Despite being aware of the health risks, smoking provided you with a temporary escape from reality. The swirling smoke filled your lungs, creating a euphoric sensation within you. Lost in your own world, you failed to hear Minho calling out to you. Startled, you quickly hid the cigarette behind your back, knowing that your friends would be furious if they discovered your secret habit.

Minho, sensing that something was amiss, approached you with tired eyes. "Is that you, y/n?" he whispered, raising an eyebrow. Nervously, you fidgeted with your hands as you replied, "I was just enjoying the night sky, nothing much." However, Minho saw through your facade and swiftly uncovered your hands, revealing the cigarette. Shocked, he looked at you with wide eyes, his disappointment evident. Unable to find the right words, you turned away and hurried back to your room, feeling weak under his gaze.

The next morning, it came as no surprise when the rest of the boys discovered your secret. They all stared at you, waiting for an explanation. Felix, holding your hand, expressed his disbelief, causing you to break down, unable to find the words to justify your actions to your closest friends, who had been by your side since childhood.

They were like the older brothers you never had, and that's what made this situation even more heartbreaking. "You could have confided in us about anything you were going through, you know we're here to support you," Chan said, his eyes filled with genuine concern. You felt a wave of shame for lying to them, but you felt like you had no other choice.

"I-I couldn't tell you guys because I knew you wouldn't agree,” you said, your head hanging low. Hyunjin let out a sigh, "Of course not, why would we ever agree to something that could harm you, y/n? But that's exactly why you should have told us, we could have helped you find the right path." They all looked hurt to realize that you were keeping something so significant from them. You felt guilty too. They had always been there for you, through thick and thin, and now you were betraying their trust.

The rest of the day passed in silence as the boys gave you the cold shoulder. It made you sad, but you understood why they didn't want to talk to you. You had hurt their feelings by keeping such a big secret. They blatantly ignored you, and it made your stomach churn, but there was nothing you could do about it. This continued for the next week as well. You tried to reach out to them, but they refused to respond. Countless nights were spent crying yourself to sleep, wondering if it was worth losing your best friends over this.

Then, one day, you realized that you needed to break free from your addiction and mend things with the boys. So, you packed your belongings and left home... for rehab. You didn't tell the boys because you didn't want to burden them any further, so you quietly left early one morning.

"Hey, have any of you seen y/n?" Binnie asked as he returned from the gym. "No, I haven't. She's probably still asleep," Chan replied, not paying much attention since you were known to be a heavy sleeper in the mornings. It wasn't until after they finished breakfast that they realized you were missing. They searched the entire house but couldn't find you.

They even asked your neighbors if they had seen you, but no one had any information. Panic started to set in as they realized you were nowhere to be found. They called your phone repeatedly, but it went straight to voicemail. Worried sick, they began to fear the worst.

Days turned into weeks, and still, there was no sign of you. The boys were consumed by guilt and regret. They blamed themselves for not being there for you when you needed them the most. They couldn't bear the thought of losing you, their dear friend. Then, one fateful day, a letter arrived at their doorstep. It was from you. In the letter, you poured your heart out, explaining your struggles and your decision to seek help. You apologized for keeping it a secret and expressed your deep gratitude for their friendship.

Tears streamed down their faces as they read your words. They realized that they had been too quick to judge and had failed to see the pain you were going through. They felt a mix of relief and hope knowing that you were taking the necessary steps towards recovery. Without hesitation, they rallied together and decided to support you every step of the way. They researched rehab centers, made phone calls, and even visited you during visiting hours. They wanted you to know that they were there for you, no matter what.

As you went through your journey of healing, the boys became your pillars of strength. They attended therapy sessions with you, learned about addiction, and helped you in every way. They were determined to make amends and rebuild the trust that had been broken. Months passed, and you finally completed your rehab program. You were a changed person, stronger and more resilient than ever before. The boys were there to welcome you back with open arms, tears of joy streaming down their faces.

From that day forward, your bond with the boys grew even stronger. You realized that true friendship was not about hiding your struggles but about being vulnerable and allowing others to support you. Together, you faced life's challenges head-on, knowing that you had a group of friends who would always be there for you.

taglist:

@straykidsholicleigh @luvyev @kpopsmut2023 @ihrtlix

[wosowrites]

Going Through It Part 2 (Caroline Graham Hansen)

warnings: misscar!age, depression

a/n: a lot of people were asking for a part 2 of the fic sooo let’s go! I also broke my own heart writing this it's super long and super sad.

prompt: in which different people come around in support for you as you go through all the stages of your miscarriage with caroline.

The 7 stages of grief. A myth? Definitely not.

Stage 1: Shock

When the medics told you they would bring you to the hospital to confirm that you really were indeed no longer with child, you just nodded blankly. You could see Caroline was trying to hold it together for you but you selfishly couldn't bring yourself to think about her. All you cared about was that they baby in your belly that you were supposed to protect was gone now. You felt as though you had failed it.

And then the doctors at the nearest hospital confirmed what to you had already been confirmed, so you listened as they told you for the second time that your baby was dead. Caroline held a straight face as she rubbed her thumb over your hand,, and you just stared blankly at the wall facing you. They said something about an abortion as soon as possible to get the fetus out, but you didn't listen. You didn't listen either as Caroline told you lovingly that she was going to go give the news to the Barca girls who were in the waiting room. A funny bunch they were, for sure, all with their tracksuits and sweaty hair.

You laughed at that. It started off as a quiet giggle but soon enough you were full on howling with laughter. Caroline had left the room by then and so had the doctors so anyone walking past your room would surely think you were a misplaced psychiatric patient. A few of the doctors came running in when it had been about a minute of your hysterics. They tried talking to you and calming you down but you just laughed harder. So they put you to sleep for a little, and when Caro walked back in with Ingrid, Mapi and Alexia, the doctors simply said that:

"She's in a lot of shock. She started laughing hysterically and we think its best for her to sleep before the procedure."

So, when Caroline heard that you were asleep, and that her actions wouldn't hurt you further, she started sobbing.

Stage 2: Denial

You and Caroline had already been excused for the UWCL and the rest of the season. Although the public knew very well that you were pregnant when you took the hit to the stomach, no one other than the Barca girls knew that the child had died. People just assumed you were not playing as a precaution, and Caro was taking care of you. Oh, and the Chelsea girls knew as well, having reached out in support and apology. Jess Carter had never felt worse in her life. But it wasn't their fault and everyone knew that. It was wrong place wring time. However three days after the abortion, Caroline found you in a worse situation than she could ever have imagined.

"Love?" Caroline called out in the apartment, having stopped calling you baby out of fear of even mentioning anything related to a child. There was no answer. "Y/n?!"

Caroline called out your name again as she walked through the house, poking her head into your bedroom, the washroom and every other room in the house. That is until she heard the faint sound of music. Her heart dropped. The only way she wouldn't have heard music playing was if it was from the nursery. You had both agreed to sound proof the room as you had heard that letting the baby cry it out was often the best solution. Caroline hadn't touched or even looked at the nursery since 'the incident' but she imagined today was the day.

The Norwegian gently pushed open the door, finding you sitting in the corner of the room on a rocking chair. There was My Funny Valentine playing from her phone in the room, the song you would always sing to your belly. Your hand was on your stomach, rubbing it gently though your grey tank top. Your eyes were closed and you were humming along with the melody, not noticing the presence of your wife. Caroline felt like she would throw up. She stared at you through wide eyes before slowly backing out of the room and closing the door again. Her eyes filled with tears as she leaned her back against the door. The Norwegian took a couple seconds to steady her breathing before rummaging in the pocket of her shorts and pulling out her cell phone. The woman quickly dialled a familiar number and waiting for a voice to answer. "Hola, Caroline," Mapi's voice said in a kind and gentle voice. "Hi. Uh, I don't know what to do. I- she's just sitting there and-" Caroline tried to rant but Mapi cut her off, noticing how clustered her words were. "Caro. Breathe. Breathe for me, do you want me to come over?" She asked gently. "No. No that's not a good idea. I just need you to tell me what to do because right now shes sitting in the nursery on the rocking chair, playing a song we always sang to her belly and she- she has her hand on her stomach like-" Caroline lowered her voice, "-like there's still a baby in there."

There was silence over the phone. Mapi felt sick and horrible for her friends. "I-I cannot give you advice on this. You just need to talk to her, I think. She's in denial."

And so Caroline did. She opened the door to the nursery and walked towards you. "My love," you said, smiling and opening your eyes. "Hi darling," your wife answered, kneeling next to you. She put her hands on your knees and looked up at you. Your hands still laid on your stomach, but not for long as the forwards hands reached out to grab yours in hers. "Don't make me tell you. Don't make me say the words," Caroline said, her eyes full of tears. But you just stared at her with a small smile. You freed your hands and cupped her face, wiping her tears. "What is it, my love?" you said gently, almost in a ghostly way. "We're not pregnant anymore, y/n."

Stage 3: Anger

You handn't meant to hit her. You hadn't. You. Had. Not. Right? It just happened. It had been the third time she had caught you with your hand on your stomach, humming to a child that wasn't there. And you had snapped. Right after you did, your head was cloudy, and you wanted to apologize, and kiss her, and tell her how much you loved her. But instead you yelled. "Shut up! Don't! I have already lost our fucking child and now you're not even letting me- I don't know! Hold out hope. Hold out some kind of belief that the universe wouldn't take my child away," you yelled, sobbing violently. Caroline looked at you, sobbing just as hard as you were. "I'm going through this too, you know?" She yelled back, catching you off guard. "Yeah. But at least your not going through the guilt of knowing that your decision killed our child."

It was mean. It was loud. It was hurtful from both ends. But then you slipped on your shoes, grabbed your car keys and then opened the door, pausing at the entrance. "We need to be there. Now," you said dryly.

Caroline nodded and followed you outside. You headed down to the parking lot, walking to your subaru. You both headed for the drivers seat, but as you reached to open the door, your hands hitting, you looked at her. "I can drive. I’m not pregnant anymore, remember? You made that very fucking clear," you spat at her.

Caroline flinched, but she went to the passengers seat.

You arrived at Ciutat Esportiva about twenty minutes later, the whole car ride being filled with awkwardness and the faint sound of Beyonce's vocals. You got out of the car quickly, trying to get away from Caroline. Jonatan had told you that there wasn't the need for you both to come if you weren't up for it, but you knew you needed to get out of the house. It was just an hour long meeting to discuss next seasons signings and departures, but it felt to Caroline like a reintegration into normal life, and to you, it felt like a reminder that you had failed your child.

You walked into the meeting room, your hair in the same dutch braids they had been in for the past two days, your Barca sweatpants on paired with a black hoodie. The girls came up to you and hugged you gently, you forced a small smile before taking a spot at a table with only one open chair left, means to get away from your wife.

The second the meeting finished, you stood up quickly. But due to your lack of sleep and food, your head swirled and you doubled over, feeling a wave of nausea come over you. Mapi, Alexia and Caroline were quickly by your side, la Reina holding your elbow and Caroline quickly letting you fall into her arms. But the second you had regained your bearings, you pushed her away. "Stop it. I'm fine," you basically growled. Taking your car keys from the table and rushing out of the meeting room and towards the parking lot.

Caroline was left, feeling shameful for no valid reason in the middle of the room. "I thought the whole 7 stages of grief thing was a myth but... shes going through them right now. I need the anger to be gone, Marta, I can't take her being mad at me," Caroline cried gently. "She's not mad at you. She's mad at herself and she's taking it out on you. Just- don't tell her shes going through the seven stages. If she knows she'll try to stop it and right now she needs to feel. And so do you, Caro. If you guys need anything, call me. Call us, any of us. We'll bring food or movies... anything really," Marta answered.

Stage 4: Bargaining

You got out of the anger stage the night after the meeting. You left your room, having finally showered and found Caroline watching Bridgerton in the living room. You sat down next to her and took the remote, pausing the show. "I am so sorry. I don't know what the fuck my problem is. I love you so so much and I just snapped," you said to her, putting your hands on her face and wiping away a stray tear. You kissed her softly on the lips as she thought about what Marta had said about not informing you about the grief process she was living. It was the first kiss you had shared since the miscarriage and it was welcomed to say the least.

It was on a walk down town that you reached the stage of bargaining. Caroline had been confused about that one. You weren't religious, and neither was she. But when you walked past the Sagrada Familia, and asked if you could go inside, she knew it was time for stage 4.

The Sagrada Familia was extremely impressive. Even after being in it multiple times, it never lost its beauty. It was a thursday, so it was open to the public, but you still sat on a pier, leaving Caroline to watch you from afar, wondering about the bargaining stage.

There was only you on the pier, looking up to the high ceiling of the Sagrada Familia, the architecture designed in a way that the ceiling looked like a forest. You didn’t believe in God. God had ruined your family. Or at least your parents wrongful actions in his name did. If there was a God, you knew he loved everyone and that he wouldn’t have wished for your parents to kick you out for your "sins" at 16.

But you still thoguht to yourself that considering you had already lost your child, talking to the person who the town you grew up in made you believe was the only source of power wasn’t a ridiculous idea exactly.

In your head, you started thinking.

Hi, fuck this is stupid. I don’t do this. I’m not talking to anyone. Jesus- I mean. No. Not. Okay let me start again can we just forget about the previous sentences.

You thought for a second, half expecting the voice of a man to appear in your head.

Okay. Let’s do this. I lost my baby. And- I guess I’m hoping that if you do exist then talking to you will make you care for him… or her but I felt like it was a him. I don’t think you’d let an innocent child go to… Hell or whatever but I don’t know. It can’t hurt to talk to you... I can’t believe you took my child from me. I want him back. Please, I want him back.

Tears were not streaming down your face and the thing that snapped you out of your tear filled gaze towards the ceiling of the Sagrada Familia was the creaking of the bench, indicating the presence of another person.

You turned your head and looked to find a man sitting there. He looked maybe 60, his hair whitening but not fully yet. The delusional part of your brain wanted to ask him if he was God.

"You do not look good," he said in spanish. However it didn’t sound like an insult, nor did it sound like a judgment. It was just a fact.

"I do not feel good," you answered him, unlocking eyes with him and looking forward to the tinted glass. "Tell me. You will never see me again, I’m a stranger with no right to- to pass judgment or anything of the sort," he told you. It felt weird, to say the least. Why would you tell this random spanish man about the loss you were facing. But you did. "I lost my baby. He died in my stomach-" you started saying. And although you were planning on holding back a little, you didn’t. "-I play for the Barcelona women’s team. And I got kicked in the stomach and it killed my baby," you told him.

He looked at you sorrowfully. "I’m probably the only spanish man in the world thst doesn’t know football. But I do know the loss of a child. And I do know that it gets better, no matter the pain you are in right now," he said to you, putting his hand over yours in a parental way. "I’m sorry for your loss," you told him. "Don’t be. She’s in a better place right now," he said to you softly. "Heaven?" you asked, looking at him. "Oh no. She was much too good for Heaven. I loved her but God would not have let her, such a… purer soul that him, near his gates. She’s just- she’s not in Hell, she’s not in Heaven, she’s just not here which is better. For some people, that is. The world is better with you in it, but some people are just too good for this earth. Your baby, your baby was too good to be here," he said.

You left the Sagrada, tears in your eyes but your heart oddly lighter. While walking back home, you held Carolines hand tightly. "He's in a better place, Caroline."

That thought, that calmness of heart lasted about two days.

Stage 5: Depression

Caroline started feeling joy, and wellness again a day after your conversation with the man at the Sagrada. She started going out for runs again, working out, cooking and signing. She was still heartbroken, but she knew there was nothing to do, and she had now chosen to move on. But you weren't ready. And you felt as though she was leaving you behind. As Carolines happiness escalated, yours fell drastically.

Saturday morning, Caroline let you sleep in as she went to training. It had been decided with Jonas that she would start training again to be fit and ready for the UWCL final vs Wolfsburg. She wanted to get back into her every day life and she missed football beyond words. You did too, but the thought of standing up, and then running, and then dribbling and shooting and... it just made you want to throw up to say the least.

So when Caroline came back home at 2:00 and found that the apartment was exactly how she left it, meaning you lying in bed, blinds closed, and the kitchen counter spotless as she had left it, she knew you had reached the stage she so wished you would manage to skip.

She peeked into your shared room, looking at the darkness greeting her. But she closed the door as quickly as she opened it, grabbing her keys and rushing back out of the apartment. Caroline got into her car and drove the first place that came to mind. If anyone could talk to you, bring you back down to earth, it was Alexia. Team mother.

She pulled up at her apartment and then rang the bell, a voice she didn't recognize answering.

"Putellas residence," a voice said in spanish. "Uh-hey, is Alexia home?" Caro answered in English, her spanish being shocking despite you trying to teach her. "Oh, yes. Are you her teammate?" the voice asked. "Yeah, I am. It's an emergency,"

That's all the person needed to hear for her to let you in. You rushed to the third floor and then opened the door of her apartment without knocking. "Alexia! Alexia!" Caroline yelled across the apartment. Alexia followed by a shorter brunette girl quickly walked out of the kitchen, the midfielder heading for your wife and quickly putting her hands on Caroline's face, trying to calm her. "What is it? Is y/n okay?" Alexia said quickly. "No. Yes. But no. I can't do this anymore. I can't move on and leave her behind. We're a team, it's her and me but I also don't want to be...depressed. I need you to talk to her because if I do-" Caroline started saying. "You're scared it could ruin your relationship," she finished the sentence. "Yeah," Caroline answered, letting out a heavy breath.

Alexia looked into Carolines eyes and nodded before turning to the woman behind her. "Mi amor, necesito manejar esto. Quédate aquí, vete a casa, haz lo que quieras pero tengo que irme." Alexia said before kissing the woman on the lips, putting on her shoes and then leaving with Caroline. "Is that your-"

"Girlfriend? Yes."

"What did you tell her?" Caroline asked. "That I needed to leave and that she could do whatever she wants at my apartment," Alexia said.

Finding you lying in the dark under covers was not something Alexia ever wanted to see. You weren't crying, you just seemed numb. Alexia had told Caroline to make soup and buttered bread for you, as if she could convince you to eat it would be ready before you could change your mind.

Alexia opened the blinds first, which she hoped would make you change positions, but you just stayed still. She then circled the bed and lied down beside you. She faced you in the bed and gently moved the hair from your face. "Hi sweetie," she said to you.

Your eyes focused a little bit and locked with hers. She knew that she now had you. She needed to talk before you zoned off again. "You need to eat, and clean yourself. You can't let the pain you're feeling win. Please eat. Sit up and just do something. Read, watch a movie? Talk to me if you want," Alexia said, making sure her tone didn't seem begging as she didn't want to guilt trip you.

You seemed to think about it for a while.

"No."

A week later

You hadn't gotten out of bed, you had eaten maybe a few pieces of cheese and a few slices of fruit, you were covered in your own filth and Ale had basically moved in with you guys.

"Today's the day, Caro. Mapi's been here, Ingrid, Patri, Aitana, Jonatan. Every one has tried something and we just need to bring out the tough love at this point. Make the soup, make her food and run a bath because-"

"Alexia," Caroline breathed out, looking past her head to the bedroom door that had just opened.

Wearing Carolines Norway hoodie and black nike pros, you trailed out of the bedroom, your greasy hair tucked behind your ears and your mascara from that day at the Sagrada, smudged.

Alexia turned around and looked at you. "Hi," she breathed out, her eyes widening with love and relief. Caroline rushed up to you, trying not to smother you, but you were the one to smother her. You dug your head into her shoulder and inhaled her scent. "I'm gonna do better. I'll be better," you whispered to her. "Its okay, it's okay," she let out shakily, brushing her fingers through your hair. "Do you want to eat, or bathe, or if you just want to sit on the couch and watch TV thats okay too it's-"

"I'll eat. And then bathe?" you said, your words sounding like a question. "Yeah. Yes," your wife said quickly.

You settled into the chair at the counter and smiled at Alexia. "I should go," she said gently, coming up to you and kissing your head.

Caroline hugged the spaniard and thanked her over and over. "Hey, Ale, tell Jonatan I'll be back in training next week,"

Stage 6: Acceptance

You accepted your baby's death fully two days later.

"Caroline! I'm gonna order pizza!" you called out to her from the kitchen.

The second you said those words, you really noticed. The few months you had been pregnant, the idea of pizza made you feel nauseous. The hormones from your pregnancy made you hate the food. Caroline poked her head out of the washroom, looking at you with wide eyes.

Do you... do you want pizza?" She said gently. "Yeah. I do," you said, placing the order and then putting down your phone to walk up to her. "He's gone," you said quietly, wrapping your arms around her neck as she put hers around your waist. "Yeah, he is. But we'll have our rainbow baby."

Stage 7: Processing grief

Caroline had made it very clear to all the staff and to all the players that she did not want to make you coming back a big deal. She and you wanted to move on, move past the pain, and just go back to being footballers. And they respected that. Your first training session back wasn't great, but everyone was patient and kind. You appreciated that a lot. After practice, you sat in the locker room and pulled out your phone. You hadn't been on social media in weeks, but it was time to tell the public.

y/n.y/l/n_ Baby boy, I wish your mother and I had gotten to know you. For the past weeks I've felt like a failure. I wish I had never gone in for that tackle. I wish I had never stepped onto that pitch. Things happen though, and I love you no less than I would have loved you if I had gotten to hold you.

graham95: love you both more than life

marialeonn16: the entire city of barca isstrong for you

chelseafcw: our thoughts are with you

fcbfemeni: Nosotras te amamos y te apreciamos

It was true. You didn't know for sure if your baby had been a boy or a girl, but you knew. A mother always knew.

[hoe4sports]

Caroline Graham Hansen | “Jeg elsker deg”

a/n: Trigger warning includes depression, pain and hospitals. Part one for context.

I watched the girls put in the work on the field. I watched my girlfriend do her best to find ways through Chelsea’s defence, but we kept making the same mistake. The fun part is, that the mistake is what we have been practicing for a good month. It’s no secret that Jonathan was visibly upset. We were currently under by two goals, and Jonathan was on my ass about figuring this out in the break. I was 4 seconds away from stealing the red card from the sideline judge and personally fault Jonathan, but just in time; the game was called of at midtime and I marched into the warderobe. I had spent the last mins of the match analysing and putting together a video for the girls to understand what we need to do. I was just praying that it would work, because Jonathan was furious. Being the assistant in charge of the attackers, I was really put on the spot. 

“Alright, girls. We have to turn this around. Bronze, Graham; You are not communicating enough. Watch.” I played the video over and over. “Do you see this? They take advantage of the tunnel you pull, and they catch you off guard. Keep the ball between your feet until their defender runs towards you, then you let the ball go and spirit sideways to receive from Bronze.” Caroline and Lucy nodded, and I scanned the group mentally. “Alright girls, five minutes; drink some water, make sure you don’t stiffen and get some carbs” I said as I smacked the tablet’s case shut. Jonathan was in the doorway and nodded, he seemed to be fine with the solution that I’d just pulled out of my ass. 

The game was on again, and after 4 minutes Caroline was able to run the ball up from midfield and to her mark. She waited for the defender, who went straight into the trap allowing Caroline to tunnel the ball to Bronze as she sprinted to recurve the ball on the right. Caroline received and set the ball in the net, in a jaw dropping goal leaving the Chelsea keeper lying flat on the ground. “Good work.” Jonathan said approvingly as the girls celebrated on the field. 

Caroline were able to put another goal in at 85 mins, and on overtime she put the ball in at 5-4. This goal however, was careerchanging. As she hit the ball and sent it in the net; she reached for her knee mid air. I recognised that look, that feeling and that moment. I’d done it myself at 15 leaving my career and my spot on the national u16 girls team dead. The crowed gasped loudly as Caroline laid curled together in a ball. The medics ran onto the field and I was trying to stay positive. Ingrid came over and hugged me, “it’s bad” she whispered. I nodded and followed “I think it’s the acl.” Jonathan froze when he heard my statement. His star player was possibly injured and out for months.

I wanted to run into the field, but I knew that I couldn’t. The medics carried her off in a stretcher and walked her into the medical room. I looked at Jonathan who nodded in approval, and so I ran after them into the room. Caroline was crying hysterically and had her soaked jersey over her head. The medics were trying to ask her questions, but she was just sobbing as if there was no tomorrow. For her, it felt like her career ended out on the field. I stepped forward and leaned down to her ear. “Skatten min, jeg er her og jeg skal ingen steder.» i said in norwegian as she sobbed softly. Whenever she was vulnerable, she would only calm down when i talked in norwegian. Its was like our secret language, and it made her feel comforted. “Det er slutt. Dette er siste gang. Karrieren min er over.» She cried as the medics examined her over and over again. I pulled the jersey off her face, and dried her soaked eyes.  «Pust jenta mi, vi vet ingenting ennå.» i assured her again as I kept wiping her tears. The team strapped her leg in and then we headed off to the hospital.

I sat in the hallway outside of the MR machine. I had flashbacks to when I was young and had this career ending injury. I had Caroline’s phone and jacket in my hands, as well as her necklace that she couldn’t wear during the scan. The scan took 15 minutes, and she was wheeled out to the waiting room. I looked at her and she was just staring down not wanting to acknowledge the leg in the brace. “Baby..” I said to her, and she shot me a look that was a combination of wanting to kill me and wanting to be held. We sat in silence until a doctor came out to the private waiting room. “Mrs. Graham-Hansen, please follow me.” The older doctor said. I stood up and reached my hand out, he shook it. “Mrs.Graham-Hansen, it’s a pleasure” he said, and I made sure to correct him. “I’m her trainer, just call me Benedicte” I said politely. I wheeled her after the doctor to another room with a mr picture on the light wall. I knew what that meant. Caroline on the other hand, didn’t. I sat down next to her as the doctor gave her the death sentence. 

“It’s a fully ruptured acl.” he pointed to

the pictures as he talked about recovery time and surgery versus rehabilitation. My focus was on Caroline. She appeared to be dissociated, and calm at the same time. She sniffed a couple of times, and her tears were running down her face. The doctor stood up, “I’ll give you some time to decide” he said as he closed the door behind him. Caroline sat there, staring blankly into the air, not recognising her leg. She was looking blank, and I tried to talk to her but with no luck. She seemed to be heartbroken, and depressed. Later that day she was operated, and got put in a rehabilitation boot specially made for acl ruptures. She had a pair of crutches and a bag with her old clothes in. Her jersey, her socks, cleats and her shorts.

I hunched down on her level, and placed my hand on hers. “Baby, do you wanna go home or do you wanna stay at my place?”. No response. She hadn’t really said anything since getting diagnosed at 16.00 this afternoon and I was worried. “Okay love, I’m bringing you to my place.” I said as my car was pulled up by the consigliere at this fancy private hospital. I helped her into the back seat so her leg could rest comfortably and drove home to my place.

As we entered the apartment, I dropped the Nike bag I had with the painkillers, old clothes and information from the hospital. Caroline was still staring empty. I guided her to the bedroom as she had been in anaesthetic a few hours prior. She laid down in bed, and I found a hoodie and shorts for her to wear. I had to put it on her, and she just sat there, having enough with existing. I grabbed her a bottle of water with ice and brought her my longest charger. The stack of pillows underneath her leg was overwhelming, but it was required to elevate it to avoid extensive swelling. She drifted asleep after I had given her snuggles on the back, and I slipped to the bathroom for a shower. My phone lit up, and I realised that I hadn’t talked to anyone all day. Therefore, I updated our closest friends and the coaches. I showered to get the smell of hospital off me and put on some comfy pyjamas. As I stood in the kitchen, I could hear crying. I did a full 180 and sprinted to the bedroom. “Are you okay, Skatt?” I said with a worried tone in my voice. She was clutching to her knee. Pain, it was hurting. Caroline didn’t normally hurt, and she wasn’t sensitive to pain at all. I quickly grabbed the hardcore painkillers that were given to her by the hospital and got two of them ready. “Open up, love” I said as she separated her lips. She took the pills and swallowed it down with water. “Lay with me?” I couldn’t say no. I laid down and held her as she cried into the late hours of the night.

9 days had passed since the incident. Caroline was still only out of bed for bathroom breaks, and she wouldn’t for the life of her do her physical therapy. A bunch of her teammates had visited to try to get her to talk, however that wasn’t Caroline’s strong side from before so I don’t really expected her to talk now. I came home on day 9 at around 4 to find my girlfriend in the bedroom. She looked awful. Her usually tan skin was pale, her eyes had bags as big as Katie McCabe’s list of yellow cards and I could see that her muscles were deteriorating. She was a tall girl too, so it was scary to see the effects of her refusal to eat. It might only be 7 kg, but on a girl 175 cm tall and 60 kg? That’s underweight. “Jenta mi, Im home» i announced as i closed the door and dropped my bag to the floor. «Have you eaten?» no answer. “Have you had a shower then?” No answer. “Okay, have you done your exercises?” Still, no answer. 

The issue with Caroline was that her whole life has revolved around football since she was a young girl. Being on the pitch was everything and the only thing she wanted to do. Her success was related to how good she was in football. Her happiness came from how many goals she could score. Football was her life, and she couldn’t see herself doing anything else. Now, she was just a nobody. Just another player that had their career end because of a ruptured acl. Her life was over, according to her. She was stuck in this mindset, refusing to acknowledge her leg or even her other functional body parts. She refused to have a relation to her injury. She beat herself up mentally again and again and again, until she couldn’t take it anymore. Nothing seemed to snap her out of it, and I was getting concerned that this was actually where her career ended. Not because of the injury, but because she refused to acknowledge it. And me? I had now gotten enough.

“Caroline..” i spoke softly. She didn’t bat an eye. She was just staring out into nothing like she had been doing for 10 hours each day. I had brought her ps5 over from her house, and set it up but she refused. “Caroline, you have to talk to me.” I stated again, a little bit harsher this time. I sighted, it was now time for tough love. “CAROLINE GRAHAM HANSEN, will you please GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO SOMTHING!!” I yelled. Her eyes fluctuated over to me, and she was now for once paying attention. “Now, this isn’t you. You don’t sit around and pout all day! This isn’t you! It’s time to put the sad aside and start to recover!” I shouted and tears formed in her eyes. Suddenly, her face went from sad to angry. “YOU DONT GET TO TELL ME ABOUT SAD!!” She screamed back at me. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. Oh my, I thought to myself. I really did piss her off, but atleast she was communicating her feelings. “My acl has is gone. My career is gone! My hard work is gone! My friends are going to disappear and so are you because I have to go back to Norway to live with my parents and be a joke for the rest of my life!!” She screamed as her breath was heavy. I scooted to her and wrapped my arms around her. She was stiff as a stick, and I pushed her head towards my chest. “It’s okay, love. You are allowed to have feelings» i comforted her as i could feel her tears soak my shirt. Her silent cries turned into loud crying, hysterically crying to say the least. She was shaking and hyperventilating like crazy. I had never seen her like this ever before, it was new and scary but it also felt like a new trust was born. 

“Baby, you have to breathe. You need oxygen.” I said as I stroke her back with even pressure. “Skatten min, trekk pusten nå. Dette klarer du.» I said as I tried to reassure her and encourage her. She nodded, and I made sure to model how she needed to breath. “Breathe in 1-2-3-4-5, and out.” We did that 7-8 times before she had calmed down. She looked up at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen in a while. “Let’s get you put back together” I said as I hopped up from the bed, giving her the crutches she hated so much. The crutches she had promised herself to never need was now her new accessory. She shot me a look, refusal in her eyes. “It’s not worth it” she mumbled as she trailed off her sentence. “It wasn’t a question” I stubbornly said as I booped her nose. She sighted, and grabbed the crutches from me. She hesitated, and looked at me with less confidence than ever before. “I-i can’t do it, it’s gonna hurt or it’s gonna become even worse. It’s too much, it’s useless! It will never be like before” she said as she threw her crutches on the ground. “Alright, you wanna do this the hard way? That’s fine. Two can play that game.” I said stubbornly as I picked up her crutches again. I handed them back to her, and placed her body in position to stand up. “Now pretty girl, you are going to stand up on your good leg and carefully shift weight onto the bad leg. If it hurts, you stop. But it’s been 9 days, it’s not supposed to hurt.” I instructed as she gave me yet another eyeroll. 

She was feeling unsure. She felt like it wasn’t her leg anymore, it was weak and shaky. It was not her leg anymore, she rather felt like her leg owned her. That she was a slave to her own leg. She just sat there staring at her leg, and contemplated what reason she could give me that would make me stop. “It dosent feel like my leg..” she mumbled broken hearted. I started getting unpacient as my adhd was catching up on me. Alright, I thought to myself. The doctor said that the brace could be taken of when she was at home after a week, and it had been nine days. She was not gonna budge and she put her legs back up in the bed. I however, was no match for her with my stubbornness . “Fine” I said as I positioned me beside her leg and started loosening the brace. Her eyes widened “No, it has to stay on” she protested as I ignored her. I slowly undid the brace to reveal a healing surgical wound. She looked at it with disgust, a reminder of what was gonna ruin her career. I looked at it with admiration, and traced the scars carefully. 

“Now, Caroline, you will stand.” I said as I stood up next to her and once again handed her the dreaded crutches. She sighted again and shot me a look of discomfort. “Fine..” she muttered as she scooted to the bedside so her good leg touched the ground. I lifted her bad leg for her, and positioned it in front of her. I knew that she hadn’t done her stretches or any training she was given, so I started carefully bending the leg. “See, it’s okay, it’s fine, it’s working.” I said as a placed it down while she nervously looked at it. I looked at the brunette who was terrified of her own leg, as I stepped back to give her room to stand. She got up on the good leg, and looked at me with horror. “Im scared, baby.” That was my cue, so I moved myself to stand next to her. My hand reached around her waist offering support to her weak body. “Now, let’s start with one step.” I said as I pulled her forward. She hesitated at first, but she slowly took a step forward. And another one. And another one. And another one. Her eyes widened as she looked at me, in shock of what had actually happened. “I would never let you do something that would hurt you, baby.” I said as I touched her cheek. I repositioned myself to be standing in front of her, and I pushed her crutches out of her hands. She looked rather terrified as she reached for me. But I took a step back. “Come here, I’ll support you.” I said as Caroline looked like she was in major distress. She took a step towards me and reached for my hands, and I took another are back. She gasped loudly, and I motioned for her to keep going. “10-11-12-13” I said as I stopped when my back touched a wall and Caroline relaxed as she touched my arms. “13 steps, perhaps 13 is your lucky number?” I said as I giggled. 

We moved to the bathroom and I had prepared a shower for her. Luckily, there was a build in tiled bench in my huge shower. She shot me a look of worry, and I smiled at her. “I’m gonna help you, don’t worry.” I said as I pulled of my 9 day old sweater while she sat down on the chair I had moved into the bathroom for her. I could see her getting increasingly shy as she was left in a sports bra and shorts. Her eyes moved to the floor, confused as to why she was feeling like this. She normally showered with her teammates without hesitation, but this time. It was different. She felt increasingly vulnerable, and has a sad look in her face. She was going through a bunch of scenarios in her head where I was gonna be disappointed with her body. She had abs, but not crazy abs like a few of the other girls. She was not very tanned on anything expect her legs and arms, as she never wore anything less than a t shirt. She reached her arm across her chest to rub her other arm struggling to find comfort in her own presence. I turned around when I had shoved the sweater into the washing machine to she the frown on her face. “What’s wrong, love?” I asked her, as I hunched down to remove her socks and her shorts. She gulped and opened her mouth to try to speak. “I haven’t really been naked infront of anyone like this before..” she spat out and I smiled as i looked at her. “My perfect girl..” I started while I stepped towards her and embraced her. “Your body is perfect just like it is. You are beautiful. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” My comforting words seemed to had gotten through to her as I could feel her nodding. I helped her remove her underwear, and I helped her get into the shower bench. “Alright, soap is next to you. You can use my shampoo and my conditioner. Take as long as you’d like. I will be sitting outside the door, just call my name and I’ll be there” I finished as I kissed her nose. 

I flopped down on the floor outside of the bathroom as I could hear the water being turned on. My phone buzzed, and I reached for it to reveal a message from Jonathan. I quickly replied, and made a plan for her to go in tomorrow to see her team. “Benedicte?” a familiar voice broke the silence. “Are you okay, love? Need a towel?” I asked as I mentally slapped myself for not remembering to lay a towel out for her. I didn’t want her walking on wet tiles with wet feet. That was the recipe for disaster. “Could you come in?” she requested and I followed her commands. “I can’t reach my feet” she begun, and I cut her off when she started trailing off. My hands grabbed a washcloth and a washed her feet making sure to be extra careful with her bad leg. She finished up the shower, and I helped her getting out. “Here” I said as I reached out a Barca grey sweatsuit and some underwear she had left here earlier. She looked at me with a thankful look on her face, and I kissed her. “Anything for you love” I said before I helped her get pants, socks and underwear on. “There, now you are all set!” I said enthusiastically. 

The next step in the program was food, nutrition. She was very dedicated to eating healthy, and taking good care of her body. I whipped up some leftover lemon baked salmon from yesterday, and she devoured it. I giggled as she looked at me with a satisfied look. “Thank you, for everything really. For reality checking me. For taking care of me.” she was visibly grateful, and I touched her face with my thumb. “That’s the kind of thing you do for people you love” I said proudly, as I took a sip of her water. “Love?” She repeated. We hadn’t really told each other that we loved one another. I wanted to move at her pace considering this was her first, and hopefully last relationship. “Love” I repeated as my hands grabbed her hands. “Jeg elsker deg skatt» i said while admiring her beautiful eyes. Tears started forming in them, and she sniffled. “Jeg elsker deg mer, kjæresten min.»  

[exilethegame]

Hiii as someone who ADORES making playlists to listen while reading can I ask if there's a commander playlist? I know it might be difficult because of how the player chooses but are there any songs you'd say just fit no matter the route?

I don't have a Commander playlist, no! I've considered making one, but I can never pick a genre of music to stick with. I do however have playlists for all the ROs, Marcelle, + Trystan tho! You can find those here (and yes, this did remind me to update them today <3).

That being said, while I've never made an official playlist, I do have some songs that I think fit all Commanders as a basic character.

Goodbye - Apparat, Soap&Skin

"Lay down next to me, don't listen when I scream. Bury your doubts and fall asleep. / Find out I was just a bad dream. / Let the bed sheet soak up my tears, and watch the only way out disappear. / Don't tell me why. Kiss me goodbye."

When You Break - Bear's Den

"When you break, it's too late for you to fall apart. / And the blame that you claim, is all your own fault . . . / You keep begging for forgiveness, but you don't think you've done wrong."

Clap When You're Gone - Chelsea Wolfe

"They'll clap when you die. / They'll love you when you're dead. / And they'll understand. / And you'll be forgiven then."

Eight - Sleeping At Last

"I was just a kid who grew up strong enough to pick this armor up / and suddenly it fit. / God, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago. / I was little, I was weak and perfectly naive / and I grew up too quick."

Wolves of the Revolution - The Arcadian Wild

" . . . From the wolves you run, barefoot. / With their libelous, venomous words, they shoot . . . / And you're trapped inside of your own heart. / It's a spectator's sport, just play your part."

A Good Man - Semler

"I think you'd rather they hate you, but I don't think they do. / They're just sad you keep killing the good man in you. / Oh, what have you become? / Oh, you were your mother's son."

[highdreaming]

can you do joão fic where reader comforts joão after he got red carded off at his chelsea debut?

Red Card

💢 All the works are pure fictions, for entertainment purposes only so please, read it at your own will.

Find more at: Masterlist

AN: Please like, reblog and give me feedback!

--

João is sitting on the couch with shoulders sagged down, his training bag carelessly dropped on the floor.

Disappointment and anger irradiating from him and it makes you feel miserable, knowing the game hadn't been the start he wanted to have.

You carefully sit next to him, leaning against his shoulder. He doesn’t react. 

“Hey, wanna talk about it?” you whisper. João merely shakes his head, turning his face around to look at you, his brown eyes filled with frustration. 

“I should’ve been more careful. It was my fault.” he says, redirecting his eyes and facing the wall in front.  

“It’s only 3 games, João. They’ll pass in a blink and then you can play again and show them the talented player you are. You were clearly the best player on the field and it was showing, trust me.” you say, touching his hand. He looks at you, doubt filling his eyes. 

“You think so?” he questions and you smile at him as you nod.

“Everyone saw it and so did your coach. It was a bad start but they know how good you are and that’s what matters now. To focus on the future.” upon your words, João relaxes his rigid posture, taking a small breath. 

You press a kiss to his arm and he lightly smiles at you.

“You always know how to make me feel better, don’t you? That’s why I love you so much.”